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i'm gonna stop wanting stuff and abandon materialism...

but first let me get this Item™

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@itsapmseymour

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Viltrum could really learn from Vetinari

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had a dream the whole of ai was exposed as a mechanical turk scam

Like, everything, game bots, generative ai, all that was just people in your computer

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one time in english class:

teacher: don't start sentences with conjunctions

me: why not?

teacher: because-

me: looks smugly

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so fun that ducks are a natural occurence

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Something that will always haunt me

I was in the school bathroom. Someone else went into the cubicles, and the following happened:

"Hey there's 50p in here!"

𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘱

the person walks out, and leaves the toilets with a look of happiness

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the autistic approach to music: -play a video game with music and like that music and listen to it for a little bit

-hear one part of a song you really like and play that part over and over and then get bored of

-don't listen to music in background

-not care who is popular, chappell roan? we are all meaningless bald apes in a vacuum. everything will succumb to the endless march of entropy. there is no escape, no solace, the sun will explode, and a far off civilization will discover our constructs of "rhythm" and "beat" and think it sounds awful, the universe will reach critical mass and collapse, and we don't care! we will die way before then, drowning in our own waste gases, working for a living but killing ourselves working(to quote Tuco the Rat), a speck on the universe, outlived by the outer gods, the elder ones, the great race of yith, the fungi from yuggoth, the flying polyps, and the blind idiot god azathoth, primordial chaos reigning in a void of agony and nothingness

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calling male prostitutes dei hires

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PE teachers saying "if you don't feel physically sick and awful at the end of it you haven't tried and are doing it again" is like witchfinders saying "if you don't drown you're a witch so we'll burn you"

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genie: and for your third wish? me: every time someone beats the world record for longest name their parent recieves $1500 genie:

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yeah computers can beat humans at chess, call me when they can beat humans at tiddlywinks

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this is the one where then someone says "language" and is on the nasa council of elders or something

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just realised it's a dream

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i mean it probably to accord with thermodynamics consumes a lot of energy when things pass through otherwise you could drop a magnetic object through some coils and create infinite energy

so aperture, what exactly was the portal gun supposed to be useful for? like what were you gonna market this thing as? because you marketed the gels as fucking diet food so i can't trust you with literally anything

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good- good

bad- bad

ok- ok

not good- bad

not amazing/not the best- ok/alright

not bad - good

not terrible/awful- ok/alright

not ok- bad

Someone illustrate this with a diagram

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buzzfeed quiz where it tells you what you look like but it just takes a photo and shows it to you