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*head disciples meeting*

Shen Yuan: you know when your cultivation increases a little bit and your shizun demands to know if you dual cultivated with someone to improve and he can't calm down until you say no and then he tries to laugh the whole thing off . Shizuns am I right?

Liu Qingge: that's not normal

Qinghua: Okay I'm glad you said that because...

Qingge: normal shizuns just throw their disciples off the peak and see if they survive

Yue Qingyuan: hmm. Not sure about that

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Got banned from cang qiong mountain bc they told me to dig a hole at the disciple selection ceremony and I looked at the qing Jing peak lord and said "trust me, I've been thinking about hole this entire time" so yeah

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Disciple era lesbingqiu would be absolutely lethal for binghe like shen yuan is sitting on her bed slowly and sensually taking off her stockings when binghe comes in with a tray of snacks and sees shizun doing this

And she's immediately like shizun. Let me help. And when shizun nods and sits upright on the mattress and lets her feet touch the floor, Binghe goes to kneel between shen yuans thighs and slips her fingers under the stocking and gently pulls it down to reveal more and more of shen yuans bare legs and when she looks up shen yuan is smiling at her and saying her binghe is sooo good and helpful

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I still see skinzuns on TikTok

do you remember the great skinzun apocalypse of 2024

I fear it never ended

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I don't like that in every cherry magic au as soon as one with the curse figures out they like someone they immediately jump to sex to cure it. I want shen yuan who goes okay I like binghe and he likes me we should date. And then they hold hands on a date and shen yuan gets hard bc binghe is thinking of taking him into that alley and fucking him.

Or they can be kissing and binghe can think "okay don't bite like you want to, be normal, act normal, don't do anything that will give away the fact you want to tie him up and hide him in your basement, just kiss him like a normal person" and shen yuans like oh uh. Huh

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What if Shen yuan isn’t a bottom what will you do then?

What if the sun isn't hot . Come on let's be fr

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Everyone please read this novel

Li Yu: i have to be careful so prince jing doesn't think i'm some kind of fish demon, or else he'll stop loving me and might try to kill me :(

Prince Jing: why doesn't my fish demon want to fuck me :(

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Li Yu: Well clearly my system is the best, yours don't even give you prizes.

Shang Qinghua: You get prizes??

Shen Qingqiu: Your system turned you into a fish!

Li Yu: You fucking wish you could be a fish! Being a fish is AWESOME!

Shang Qinghua: ...Bro he's kinda right though...

Shen Qingqiu: No?? He's not???

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Shen Yuan: Binghe got insecure and wouldn’t let me out of the house yesterday

Qi Qingqi: Oh my god! You need to leave, NOW

Shen Yuan: ???? No he was just upset because I looked at Liu Qingge and smiled. The issue is that he didn’t even try to tie me up, he just cried and got between me and the door every time I was about to walk out. If he was serious about now letting me leave he should used immortal binding cables and ***** ***** **** or **** ********* me.

Qi Qingqi: get the fuck out of my house

Shen yuan DOES get mad at Binghe but it's never for a good reason and being his friend is insufferable

Shen Yuan: and then he said he put his cum in my food

Qi Qingqi: EW. THATS DISGUSTING

Shen Yuan: ? No I thought it was cute

Qi Qingqi: WHAT. then what are you mad about

Shen Yuan getting angry again: after I ate it, he said "I'm finally inside shizun." Like hell! As if I don't take that weapon every other night! What does he mean, finally!?

Qi Qingqi: don't come over for tea anymore.

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It’s the final countdown…

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Me with my stacks of danno content prepped for tomorrow hehehe 😈

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Are You Ready?

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Everyone: I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!

What If...

What if Shen Yuan got poisoned? And offers to get fucked-

The Wifebeam is just too strong for anyone to resist...

Shen Yuan while on a mission stumbles apon a mild aaphrodisiac causing flower. Luckily not one that needs dual cultivation to survive but has enough of an effect to get the face flushing a bit and get you a bit dizzy on your feet. Annoying hint at the back of your mind telling you that sleeping with someone sounds better then it does at the time at best, two or three glasses of wine at medium to low tolerance at worst.

At the Bamboo House -

Luo Binghe: "Shizun you're back from your mission! Hmm? Shizun are you alright? Shizun's face is a bit flushed?"

Shen Yuan (Qingqiu): "This master is fine Binghe. This one is unfortunately afflicted by a mild aphrodisiac is all. It should wear off-"

Luo Binghe *near crying, a suspicious look of joy in his eyes though behind the concern of his Shizun downplaying, yet again, his symptoms to whatever is it as Shizun always does*: "Shizun! This disciple is willing to help out in any way possible! Does Shizun need Dual Cultivation or-!?"

Shen Yuan: "...It should wear off on it's own by the end of the day? This Master was only poisoned by a green coati tulip?"

Luo Binghe *nervous laughter* (Unfortunately aware of what that flower does and how little it does): "Oh... Ignore this disciple then!"

Shen Yuan: "Okay...?"

Shen Yuan in his head: 'WHY THE FUCK WAS BINGHE SO EXCITED??????'

So of course as timing would have it, a Peak Lord Meeting is for the same day! Shen Yuan who is still a bit flushed due to the mild poison walks into the room. Goes to his normal seat. Qi-Shimei is the first the notice, as she is in fact the gossip queen who notices everything.

At the Peak Lords Meeting -

Qi Qingqi *A suspicious smirk on her face* : "Shen-Shixiong are you alright? You're face seems rather red, but you don't seem sick. Is Without-a-Cure acting up?"

Shen Yuan: "Ah, this Qingqiu appreciates Qi-Shimei's concern but no Without-a-Cure is not issue at the moment. This Master was merely afflicted by a mild aphrodisiac on his mission earlier today. It should-"

Liu Qingge: "Shen-Shixiong this one is willing to dual cultivate with you if needed!"

Yue Qingyuan: "Xiao-, Qingqiu-Shidi this one would hate to let you down again if you were to need help. Please allow this one to assist."

Mu Qingfang: "Shen-Shixiong, do you need medical assistance in anyway? This Qingfang would be happy to help."

A rather suspicious snake sitting near the window, a small green mark on it's forehead (Zhuzhi-Lang): "Here'sss too that. Massster Sssshen isss alwaysss willing to come to thisss one for help assss well"

Other Peak Lords in agreement, a few blushing even, even Shang Qinghua is nodding his head in agreement too. The rat...*

Shen Qingqiu *Very much so, offically scared*: "...This Master was poisoned by a green coati tulip. While I appreciate the concern greatly this is nothing that needs so much concern?..."

Shang Qinghua *under his breath*: Offer still stands from everyone in this room cucumber bro...

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No he won’t

Hua Cheng, in the middle of a meeting: I miss my husband guys, I miss him a lot.

Hua Cheng, leaving: I’ll be back.

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I can totally imagine SY trying to set him up with one of the wives or brothel women early only for Binghe to cry and say “only Shizun”. Obviously the only thing left for SY to do after that is offer hole.

Luo Binghe's sexual stamina must have been an outright nightmare when he was a horny disciple trying to live in the same house as his crush.

Airplane in the past: because he's a stallion, he can go for hours! days, even!

Disciple Luo Binghe, who has been trying to get off solo all night and now the sun is rising and he's STILL not near finishing:

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Imagine if Cinderella's abusive evil step mother married another woman and Cinderella's new step-step mom was the sweetest person in the world and always stood up for Cinderella and Cinderella fell in love with her then cried tears of blood seeing her evil villain step mother kiss the love of her life. Jiuyuan + Binghe

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You have no idea how desperately I want more fics of Binghe (or anyone else) seeing Shen Qingqiu’s memory of the punishment where Bingge tore his limbs off. I need them to hear him say “please no not with his face”. Luo Binghe would ball his eyes out and try to tear his own limbs off in retribution. It was so tragic and I need other characters to know it happened