ravenvswritingdesk

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When football got waylaid, but delighted us anyway (and what can football tell us about immigration and domestic violence?)

When football got waylaid, but delighted us anyway (and what can football tell us about immigration and domestic violence?)

For a few weeks, England has been united in sincere optimism. Yes, there have been the same voices of discontent (because we all know people who love to explain to all how much they dislike the source of their loved ones’ joy), but what’s been different about this tournament is the way that those who haven’t followed a football competition in decades – or ever – have gladly been caught up in the…

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Guidance for Talking to Someone Who's Struggling

Guidance for Talking to Someone Who’s Struggling

This is a long post, which is potentially upsetting for those who feel low:

If you know someone who is struggling and you’re not sure what to do, listen to them, keep listening, and ask questions that encourage them to keep talking: your questions will show how actively you’re listening. That’s validating and helpful and shows someone their words and feelings have worth.

One of the reasons…

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My Lost Weeks (or why I haven't written in ages)

My Lost Weeks (or why I haven’t written in ages)

  It’s June! My last post was April 10th. Oops. I had intended to write a “I’ve survived a third of a year being self-employed!” post at the beginning of April , but that didn’t happen, and so at the beginning of May I was going to write a “I’ve survived a quarter of a year being self-employed!” post, but that didn’t happen either. Now it’s June, and five-twelfths of a year really doesn’t sound…

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An unpublicised post that you might stumble across

An unpublicised post that you might stumble across

I’m not going to publicise it because I’m using it as something of a palate-cleanser. Whether it’s a marker of a tonal/content shift for me, or for anyone who reads my posts, I’m not sure. It seems that the last few posts and – indeed – the last few months (and perhaps even a year) have been dominated by people doing shitty things, whether to me or to people I care about, and I’m sick of that.…

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This is probably the most important post I've ever written

This is probably the most important post I’ve ever written

I really don’t want to write this post, but I feel compelled to. Agnes (my inner chimp) will not let it go, and I end up mentally scripting what I’ll write when I’m trying to harvest potatoes or flatten mole tunnels, or when I’m wandering around the supermarket, or when I’m trying to get to sleep. It’s a complex issue and so this post will be necessarily long. You might have strong reactions to…

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It's July. S*@%!

It’s July. S*@%!

We’re a third of the through July. What does that mean for this sole trader? 1) On the one hand, I HAVE SURVIVED HALF OF A YEAR ON MY OWN INCOME! [cue banners, fireworks, a Red Arrows display etc etc.] I genuinely didn’t expect that to happen. I thought I’d last out February if I was lucky, and then I’d have to get an office temp job. Instead, it seems like I’ll be able to get through half a year…

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Are Help to Buy ISAs worth the faff? (Finances #2)

Are Help to Buy ISAs worth the faff? (Finances #2)

If I approached anyone about a mortgage in my current situation, I’ve a good idea how their expressions might meld incredulity and amusement. But I do desperately want a house of my own some day, and living in the future is definitely a bad habit of mine on occasion. When I started getting loads of emails and such about the new Help to Buy ISA therefore, I looked into it. Are they worth it? I did…

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It's Health and Safety Legislation Obfuscation gone mad

It’s Health and Safety Legislation Obfuscation gone mad

*Disclaimer: I’m still too cross to proof this, so please excuse grammatical mistakes, typos, etc* At the moment, it seems like my idea of creating children’s toys (and particularly one-off, unique, custom-made toys) is dead in the water. I was at a Business Sheffield workshop (the first in a series of three), and was reminded to look up the legislation for the things I want to make. Lo, a…

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Our Town in Literature: New Fiction by Local Authors. A cartoon by Tom Gauld

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Finances #1 (featuring Business Sheffield)

Finances #1 (featuring Business Sheffield)

Early this week I checked my bank balance and was surprised to discover that I can afford to live another month as I’ve currently been doing. i.e without being in”real” employment. (This shouldn’t really have been a surprise since I’ve been counting my pennies, but hey, I’m a realist and always bracing myself for forgotten withdrawals, direct debits and the like.) I’ve been feeling chipper ever…

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I have now not been teaching for about eight-and-a-bit weeks. What have I been doing instead?

(Disclaimer: if my writing seems wordy and even quite archaic, it’s because I’ve read two Jeeves books back to back in preparation for a podcast which I’ll talk about below. Please excuse the ridiculousness – I’m a sponge for absorbing language style and I genuinely can’t turn it off.)

1. Tutoring/teaching. So far I’ve collected enough tutees to be exceedingly hampered in my evening movements, especially since I probably spend only slightly less time driving to lessons than actually teaching. I’m now making over a third of my needed income (the precise £1237.45 that I mentioned in this post), but it’s a precarious income, reliant in the main on term-time dates and people not being ill or having other obligations. Three of my tutees will also do their GCSEs this Summer, after which they will no longer require my assistance. Conclusion: English tutoring does not an stable income make. Alternative revenue streams are required.

2. Tutoring admin. Creating and maintaining  my tutor profiles on different websites; responding to queries and essentially trying to self myself (here I am on the site that’s getting me most of my clients – tell your friends!); chronicling all my tax-deductible expenses, mileage and cash income for the potential perusal of HMRC; blah blah blah. I have learnt a lot about this latter process – did you know that you can claim for tea and coffee if you work from home? I expect HMRC will be paying me back some money after the end of the tax year because my expenses will outweigh everything.

3. Waiting in NHS waiting rooms and talking to NHS staff. After several appointments with multiple doctors and nurses (having blood syringed out of me and water syringed into me (only my ear, for those who felt alarm there)), I now have a referral to Ear, Nose and Throat people to sort out ongoing stuffed-head-and-tinnitus annoyance and a diagnosis of Vitamin D deficiency, for which I am taking weekly tablets. The pharmacist told me that “half the world’s on the stuff” when she couldn’t fill my prescription one day due to selling out. This seems believable: when I offered information of my deficiency to the physiotherapist who was dealing with my long-time shin issues, he stuck out his hand to welcome me to the club. On chatting to him and various other people, I am doubtful that these tablets will make any difference to my energy levels at all, but I’m sure they’re doing other important things within. Anyway, the physio that I’ve been seeing since October is now so perplexed by the stubbornness of my tibialis anterior muscle and tibialis anterior tendon (which connects the shin muscle to the ankle) which don’t allow me to even lightly jog without protracted pain that I’ve been awarded an appointment with a higher up person. I’m imagining that he’ll be like the Dr House of podiatry, but hopefully with a kinder manner.

4. Writing and talking about writing. I definitely haven’t done as much as I’d like, but it’s become a part of my weekly life and mental process even if I haven’t managed to create the daily habit I’d like to develop. Not yet, anyway. One thing that I’m sure will help is the writing group I’m in with two friends, which held its inaugural meeting last night and which made me feel very supported and positive; sharing insecurities and difficulties really does work wonders.

5. Reading and being involved in a podcast about reading. My friend Alan has set up a podcast about books called Blank Page Book Club: if you like reading, please follow us. There are currently two episodes, with a third to be recorded next week (by which time I really need to have read the book we’ll be discussing). You can download it on iTunes and everything. It’s completely lovely to be involved in something like this, and I think I’ve even become used to the weirdness of hearing my own voice as others hear it. This has had the weird after-effect that sometimes when I’m talking I hear myself as others hear me, which is fairly surreal and not at all conducive to talking naturally.

  6. Making huge meals and related activities (not including eating). In a previous post, I said that one of my frugal intentions was to make large, freezable meals, thus creating cheap, convenient, nutritious dinners. It turns out this can take quite some time and produces a lot of mess, and whole-flat ventilation is required to expel spices and other scents in advance of tutoring sessions. I also dream of having a dishwasher one day. Until then, I’m trying to turn such domestic chores into opportunities for mindful moments (which I saw written about somewhere). Emphasis on “trying”.

7. Making toys and sewing and trying to get some commissions. I’ve slightly revitalised my page Spectre, and as part of my plan to make more toys from children’s drawings I’ve made a pig from 4-year-old Doris’s drawing. (She’s a very impressive child: in addition to her pencil prowess, she can already ride a bike without stabilisers!) I’ve also made some bunting and a soft toy for my brand new niece:

I have received one commission off the back of the toy, but I’d really love some more, and this is where my lack of experience and confidence when it comes to business and promotions stuff hampers me – again. How do I get more than 76 ‘likes’ on my Facebook page? Do I need to make more stuff and then have my own website? How are people capable of managing more than one Twitter account? And so on.

8. Seeing (long neglected) friends and helping friends move house. Friends are great and hanging out with them is a balm.

9. Job searches. It is time. I’ll have had the luxury of three months living off tutoring and what I saved last year, and I don’t have the funds to do that beyond this month. I’ve been casually doing searches all this time, but now it’s become more of a priority. Sometimes I can even find things where the person specification isn’t ridiculously specific and I could actually apply. (My second main issue is the University of Sheffield job site. What is with that? A scrolling window within a scrolling window is the best way to make people infuriated.)

10. Making a picture. I’m sort of doing some textile art. It’s a soothing thing to do.

11. Volunteering. Learn for Life Enterprise on London Road provides an important array of services to loads of people, and particularly non-English speakers who find themselves in Sheffield. I’ve done three stints of volunteering at their two-hour Friday conversation class, which is both intense and really delightful. So far, I’ve spoken to people from Afghanistan, Poland, Israel, Eritrea, Sudan, Somalia, China, Iran, Iraq and more, of both sexes, and all sorts of ages. It’s in my diary for tomorrow. Learn for Life loves volunteers, so if you have some spare time, get in touch with them.

12. Cleaning. An upside of tutoring in my house is that it incentivises thorough cleaning, which would not happen on a weekly basis otherwise.

13. Playing Jurassic Park Builder. I’ve been trying to combat my feelings of time poverty by deleting apps off my phone and silencing my notifications, but look at it: it’s glorious. It’s like my beloved Zoo Tycoon but without any of the raking up of poo.

However much time my teaching job took up though, its main impact was on the mental energy it absorbed – it seems that the main difference I have now is actual brain space. There’s so much room in there now! Things that used to take up a lot of time still do, but having the actual brain capacity to do those things and others seems to be my chief benefit, and it’s a liberating one.

  What have I been doing with all this time? I have now not been teaching for about eight-and-a-bit weeks. What have I been doing instead?

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Why I have issues with the true crime podcast 'Serial'

Why I have issues with the true crime podcast ‘Serial’

This post is entirely unrelated to anything else I’ve written about here, but forgive the intrusion: I feel compelled to write this because yesterday I started listening to ‘Serial’ and became so nauseated and creeped out by it so quickly that last night I had to read Jeeves and Wooster until my brain was no longer processing the marks on the page. Even then, I had difficulty sleeping. For those…

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It's ‪#‎timetotalk‬ day . . .

It’s ‪#‎timetotalk‬ day . . .

I have seen a lot of open, brave posts on my Facebook timeline this evening by friends relaying their experiences of anxiety, depression, eating disorders and the myriad knock-on effects that result from such mood-altering conditions, such as panic attacks, agoraphobia, insomnia, and no end of other physical, emotional and psychological issues. It’s so great to see adults discussing their mental…

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Writing and Reading courses on FutureLearn

There are a ton of nice-looking, FREE courses based around reading and writing on FutureLearn coming up:

There’s an Introduction to Screenwriting course starting on Feb 29th, run by UEA.

There’s a course by Warwick University that’s just started called - intriguingly - Literature for Mental Health: Reading for Wellbeing.

The National Film and Television School have a course coming up called Explore Filmmaking: From Script to Screen.

And the University of Birmingham is running this interesting course on Othello, exploring how the play has been performed and interpreted from Shakespearean times to the modern day. 

There’s some good learning there.

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Progress (or not) & the awkwardness of putting a value on your time

Progress (or not) & the awkwardness of putting a value on your time

ILLNESS I think I’ve been accumulating various ailments for a long time and, without the background noise of teaching-related tiredness, I’m discovering things that are actually up with me: last week I went to the doctor about the dizzy episodes I get and perpetual tiredness I feel. These are symptoms I thought were by-products of teacher stress (I’d park up at school and then have the sensation…

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'The Chimp Paradox' and the difficulty of setting up schedules

‘The Chimp Paradox’ and the difficulty of setting up schedules

The weekend before last, I thought I’d made a pretty good decision about how I’d approach all the time I now have on my hands. I want to be productive and systematic to ensure I made the most of the opportunity so I decided that every night, taking the weather forecast into account, I’d write down my plan for the following day. This would include a morning routine that consisted of getting out of…

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How was my first week of not being a teacher?

How was my first week of not being a teacher?

Thank you for asking: it was great. I had worried that it would be hard to get out of the habit of mindlessly procrastinating even though there’s now no marking or planning to procrastinate from, but on the whole there’s been remarkably little of the time-wasting that tended to characterise vast chunks of my time during both term times and holidays. (It went something like this: I didn’t want to…