roxiewritesstuff

[roxiewritesstuff]

Never apologize for how you feel. No one can control how they feel. The sun doesn’t apologize for being the sun. The rain doesn’t say sorry for falling. Feelings just are.

Iain S. Thomas, Intentional Dissonance (via resqectable)

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I’m not everything I want to be but I’m more than I was, and I’m still learning

Charlotte Erikkson (via heavyrain-dc)

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Promise me not to hide yourself when you’re in pain, it’s unfair that we laughed together but you cried alone

Unknown (via heavyrain-dc)

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Choose to love yourself; choose to respect yourself; and promise with all your heart and soul that you will never leave you.

Kimberly Kirberger (via heavyrain-dc)

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Every moment is a new birth

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Your Armor is Soft

Hello again guys! As always, feedback is appreaciated.

English is not my first language so feel free to correct any mistakes! Warnings: Clarisse is soft! (Cause I’m a whore for soft Clarisse who is only soft for her s/o), Battle, wounds (not graphic), happy ending. (tell me if I missed any)

A/N: Reader is Percy’s sibling, you choose if blood related or not. So daughter of Poseidon.

Hope you enjoy :)

Clarisse La Rue x Fem! Reader

“Clarisse, you cannot upgrade your water gun to shoot stronger than the others’.” I scold the woman sitting on the ground, trying to dismantle her water pistol.

“There’s no rules about boosting your weapons.” A knowing smirk creeps up her face.

“There is about killing other campers though.” I state, snatching one of her tools.

She huffs in annoyance. “Alright, but you’re no fun.”

Crouching, I give her a sweet, short kiss. “But you still love me.”

“Don’t get too cocky.” A smirk appears on her features yet again.

It is supposed to be a calm day. Summer is at its highest and most campers are already inside borders, talking to their half-brothers and sisters.

Today there are many entertaining and fun activities to do. Mr. D and Chiron were kind enough to let everyone relax for at least one day of Summer.

But I should know already that nothing is ever calm in camp Half-Blood.

“HELP!” We hear people scream from near the border’s entry. Don’t tell me it’s another bull.

Both of us get up and start running to assist. Many campers from different cabins race along us.

The screams get louder as we near the entrance’s pillars. People are rushing left to right desperately. We can barely see what’s happening in front of us. Pushing our way through the crowd, we find out why everyone is yelling.

“What the…” I mutter astonished.

Some guy I don’t recognise is sprinting away from the biggest cyclop I’ve ever seen in my life. And for the looks of it, he doesn’t know how to fight. Probably a new camper, without a satyr to guide him through the woods safely.

“Shoot. Go get more children of Ares!” I shout so Clarisse can hear me over all the screams. Pulling out my sword, I get into a fighting stance.

“What? Are you crazy?! Look at the size of that thing! I’m not leaving you.”

“I can hold my own. Besides, I will be safer if there is backup. Please, love.” I urge her. 

“Okay.” She rushes to her cabin, just to pause midway. “Hey, don’t die on me, okay?” Her concerned face shows more emotion than she’d like.

I nod. And while my girlfriend runs away, my attention is back on the boy and his new friend.

“Hey, dickhead!” I call for the cyclops' attention. “Catch me if you can!”

 Jumping through roots and rocks, I sprint to the opposite direction of the new camper, trying to make the big creature fall.

“Newbie! Run to them! They’ll protect you.” I order while pointing at the other campers, safe inside the borders.

After a strenuous time, children of Ares finally arrive. Clarisse leading them. I’m so tired that, looking at them, I stumble my feet into a rock. I don’t fall though. The cyclop catches me just in time to throw me into a tree with all its force, knocking the air out of my lungs. How lucky.

I hit the tree with my back, falling after the impact. My head down on the floor and my sword by my side. Clarisse rushes to me. Her half-siblings surrounding me for protection.

"Baby, c’mon. Wake up.” She pleads me.

“I’m awake. Just… out of breath.” A groan leaves my lips as I try to stand up but fail. The head of Ares’ Cabin helps me sit up.

“Get him.” And with that short command, all her half-siblings bolt to the cyclop.

The green-eyed woman puts her hand on my chest to regulate my breathing. “You’re okay, don’t worry. I’m here with you.”

“What happened?” A new rushed voice appears by my side.

I look over to see my brother, Percy Jackson, dashing to me.

“A new camper arrived without a satyr. A cyclop smelled him.” Clarisse explains for me.

“I’m on it.” Percy declares and runs off, pulling his own sword out.

“Be careful!” I try to yell, only to start coughing in the middle of the sentence.

After a few minutes of recovery with Clarisse by my side, I feel good enough to stand again. Ready to fight.

Just when I get up, Percy flashes by my eyes only to hit a tree right by my side. Unlike me, he stays down.

I can only feel rage at that moment. No one touches my brother.

“Get him to the infirmary.” I demand. A couple of campers helps him while Clarisse never leaves me.

“What now?” The fighter asks.

“Now he dies.” I sneer.

My hands close in fists, all the screams around me fade. Water streams course through my veins, soaking my skin and the soil surrounding me. The current leaves me, only to envelope me like a ball. My hands dart forward and the water obeys. The cyclop is hit by a pressured water stream that sends him flying through the woods, splatting on the ground.

“Babe!” Clarisse gets my attention. She moves near the creature and makes a platform with her body so she can help me jump. “C’mon!”

I grab my sword from the ground and use my powers to guide me to her and make an impulse. I aim at the cyclops’ eye and dig my sword through his flesh.

Bullseye.

The creature turns to ash and I fall to the ground. I try to stand up just to discover that my legs are wobbly. Luckily, I feel a pair of strong arms embrace me before I can hit the ground.

“Love, are you okay? Talk to me!” It’s the last thing I hear before I blackout.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

When I regain my senses the first thing I notice is the soft mattress beneath me. No more screams. My mouth feels dry and my eyelids heavy. There’s also a soft feeling on my hand. I can’t quite pinpoint what it is.

I open my eyes and the light is dim enough for me to not be bothered by it. After a little while I can open them wide enough to scan my environment. 

Infirmary, great.

The light entering the room tells me that it’s dusk. I look down to inspect the soft feeling on my hand, only to find out it's my girlfriend's hand holding my own. She’s asleep, snoring softly in a chair by my bed. So beautiful.

I was about to whisper something but the only thing that comes out is a rough cough that startles her awake. She gets up quickly to get me a cup of water as she sees me struggle.

“Better?” Her soft voice asks. Probably the softest I’ve ever heard.

I nod. “What happened?” We may be talking in whispers by now.

“Something about using your powers so much you passed out. I didn’t really pay attention to what Will was saying, I was worried about you.” Taking my hand again, she kisses it gently. The gesture so unusual and delicate that makes me melt.

“Wait,” My head perks up. “how long was I out?” Her expression reflects my concerns.

“Two days.” Wow… Was it that bad?

“You… have been here all this time?” 

“She has.” A third person enters the infirmary. Will, son of Apollo. “She almost beat me up when I tried to take her to her cabin.” Luckly, he didn’t seem upset by my partner's attitude.

“You should know better than mess with a child of Ares.” I try to lighten the mood.

“I will definitely be more cautious next time.” That sunny smile of his flashes me.

“So… wanna tell me what happened?” I inquire, gesturing to the bed.

“When they brought you, you were dehydrated and physically exhausted. The cyclop cracked one of your ribs. You abused your powers so much that you passed out.. Fortunately, you only had to rest. Everything is healed now but I suggest you take it easy for a week.”

“Thank you, Will.” My brother quickly creeps my mind. “Wait, how’s Percy?”

The son of Apollo walks to the other side of the room and pulls one of the curtains back. There is Percy with a cast on his leg, Annabeth by his side.

“You’re awake!” Both of them cheered. The daughter of Athena walks up to me and pulls me into a hug.

“Hey, be careful.” Clarisse says warningly, ready to split us.

Wanting to ease her, I grasp her shoulder. My hand slides into hers again, squeezing softly.

“How are you doing?” I ask my brother from across the room.

“I’m fine, just…” He gestures to his leg.

“Yeah, he’ll be here for another 2 weeks.” Will says.

“Can I go to my cabin, though?” I ask Will, wanting to get out of that not so comfortable bed.

“Sure. Although I would like for someone to monitor you for me.”

Everyone looks at Clarisse. She only scoffs.

“Of course, you think I’d let her be alone after all of this?” She questions, almost offended. Standing up, she makes a move to carry me.

“Wait, I can walk on my own.” I giggle lightly.

I take her arms to stabilise myself, a little weak but successfully. My girlfriend’s arms almost embracing me, just to be sure that I wouldn’t fall.

“Okay, I’m fine.” I say confidently. Even though I’m walking just fine she still keeps a hand on my waist, just in case.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

At night, Clarisse doesn’t leave my side. Ever.

While I took a shower she was on the bathroom floor. I am still a little sore so she even helped put my clothes on.

When we are getting into bed, something on her arm catches my attention.

“Love, give me your hand.” I ask tenderly.

She complies without a doubt, just wanting to please me.

I notice a deep cut right by her tricep.

“Clarisse La Rue!” That catches her attention as she looks at me wide eyed. “You told me you weren’t injured!”

“I’m not.” She replies confused.

“Yes you are! There’s a cut right here!” I twist her arm a bit to show her.

“It doesn’t hurt. It’s nothing really.” She isn’t nearly as concerned as I want her to be. She seems melancholic even.

“Why didn’t you treat it at the infirmary?”

“Because you were knocked down on the bed! Bleeding! You were gone for 2 days! Do you think I’d care about me when the person I love the most is hurt?!”

I’m shocked. Clarisse isn’t one to just talk about her feelings openheartdly. Her father never allowed her to. We’ve been working through that, so sometimes these outbursts can happen. Nothing that actually scares me. 

Although I���m kind of happy she is expressing herself, the last sentence caught me off guard. 

“You love me?” Of course that’s the only thing my exhausted brain can catch.

She looks at me dumbfounded for a while, until she realises what she said. “I… do. I love you. I love you and I was terrified of losing you.”

“I’m sorry.” I reach for her neck to hug her and nuzzle my face there.

“It’s okay. You are here now.”

After a few minutes of just hugging lovingly, I call for her. “Hey Clarisse?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I love you too.”

[roxiewritesstuff]

Mon Coeur

Hi guys! As always, don’t be shy about leaving feedback!

English is not my first language so feel free to correct any mistakes!

Warnings: kidnapping of characters, presumed dead, mentions of torture, guns and battles, nothing too bad I think, all very brief and light (does this make sense?), I don’t like Gérard very much (tell me if I missed any).

Okay, so I might have to explaina few things. This is kind of an AU where Widow was part of Overwatch along with Gérard, and all of Blackwatch didn’t betray Overwatch and were just taken away by Talon. Most of this is not canon!

Hope you enjoy :)

Widowmaker (Amélie LaCroix) x Fem! Reader

The gym is dark, not a light in the room. The only gleam of light comes from the hallway and the only sounds in the whole base are my groans of effort and frustration that slip from my mouth every time I hit the punching bag.

Everyone is asleep and yet, here I am, fully awake. I woke up from a nightmare not too long ago. It's probably 03:30 am by now. I can't tell how long I've been here.

Now, you might be wondering what triggered all this. Exactly 9 months ago Talon captured three Overwatch members: Gabriel Reyes, Olivia Colomar and Amélie LaCroix. All members of Blackwatch and the people I care about the most.

Gabe and Sombra were my best friends, but Amélie... oh Amélie. We met in my first years in Overwatch. We fell in love. You might be thinking 'wasn't she married to Gérard LaCroix?' and the answer is yes. But their marriage was already over long before we met. In fact, when we met she was already putting the divorce papers on the table.

We dated for over a year, and by then they were still trying to make the divorce happen. Turns out getting a divorce is a lot of paperwork, paperwork that Gérard didn't want to sign. He was a good Overwatch agent, I'm not going to deny that, but he was also a narcissistic son of a bitch who thought he was above everybody else. Even his own wife.

After me and Amélie made one year of dating she didn't want to keep the act about Gérard anymore, and told everyone about us and who Gérard truly was. Everyone was very supportive of our relationship and it looked like finally we could have a life together.

And then Talon took her. Along with Olivia and Gabe. I was the only member of Blackwatch left. There was also Moira, but by her own words, she was a double agent who went willingly.

We looked everywhere for the three of them. Started the deepest of investigations to find them as soon as possible.

Two weeks later they found Amélie. There was still no sign of Gabriel and Olivia and Amélie was too traumatized to talk.

I realized something was wrong when she refused to be near me. The only person she wanted near her was Gérard and she was constantly begging for him. Everyone could tell that it affected me. She was the one to tell everyone about us and now she couldn't even look at me. My friends tried to help me but there was nothing to be done.

And then, two weeks after that, Amélie killed him in his sleep. He was found in the morning and she was nowhere in sight. She disappeared again.

Debates and arguments were thrown by all Overwatch agents. Some said that she was a double agent, some believed that Gérard was killed by a Talon agent and they took Amélie again. My closest friends tried to reason that she would never do something like that, but I've always known the truth.

She killed him.

Of one thing I was certain: that was not my Amélie. Obviously, it was her body, but something about her behavior told me that she was not the same.

After thinking about this so much, both my mind and my body get tired. I punch the punching bag one last time before leaning against it to catch my breath.

When I think I'm done, I turn to the bench where my things are. Then I see the ring.

Right... on our one year anniversary, Amélie gave me a ring along with a very beautiful speech about how she thought we were made for each other. That was also the moment we said 'I love you' for the first time. I still wear it till today. I think it gives me a feeling of safety. Almost like a part of her is still with me. It also gives me a little hope of seeing my Amélie one day.

I gather my things from the bench and make my way to my room.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It's been a week since my late night workout in the gym.

Now I'm on a bus with five other Overwatch agents. Many other Overwatch buses ahead and behind us. We've been called by an agent of ours who was carrying an important load to our base. He alerted the base that Talon was trying to steal the load and he needed back up. And so, here we are.

As soon as we get in the location we sprint to protect the truck. The agent is surrounded by Talon operatives, only with a gun in his hand which I notice is shaking.

Overwatch agents start gaining ground to dispel the enemies away from the load. We are able to round the truck, making a sort of barricade to defend it. Their reaction is to back away.

In the corner of my eye I see one of our agents limp away to the back of the load where Talon agents can't reach. I follow him and take notice of the bullet in his leg while he sits down, leaning against the truck. I take my scarf off my arm and wrap it around the wound. He grunts because of the pain and mumbles something incomprehensible.

"What?" I ask loudly because of the sound of bullets flying everywhere.

He pulls me down towards him and mumbles in my ear faintly.

"S-Sniper."

My eyes get two times bigger as I examine his leg again. Indeed, the entrance wound is consistent with a sniper shot.

I turn around and start searching the top of every roof visible.

My eyes are drawn to the scope of a rifle. Its handler is wearing some kind of visor that doesn't allow me to see their face.

When the rifle lands on me I am expecting a sharp pain of a bullet entering my flesh. It didn't happen. In fact, it looks like the person on the other end completely freezes.

I am confused. Does the person know me?

The sniper takes their head away from the rifle's aim. The visor opens and now I'm the one who's frozen.

I could recognize those gold eyes anywhere. It's her. Amélie.

Both of us are frozen in place. Not moving a muscle. Wondering if we are hallucinating the vision of each other. Her whole face bathed in shock.

After a few seconds I examine her further. Her skin... is... blue? It's a baby blue color. Almost looks... cold.

Her prior orange, grey and white uniform is now mainly purple and gray, and much more revealing. Her eyes are still the same. Besides her face full of shock, I could see sorrow in her eyes. It gives me a heartache.

"Y/N!" My head snaps to Jack, who is screaming at me to get in the trunk of the truck with the load.

I whip my head to observe the battle situation. Talon operatives are backing down and I can hear some of them saying 'recall.'

I look to the roof again. Amélie is now standing up but still hesitant to leave. Her brain can't decide between looking at me or at the terrorist organization she was with.

When I don't move from my place behind the truck several Overwatch agents come to see if I am in trouble, Jack included. When they realize I am moving my eyes somewhere else they follow them, seeing Amélie. Everyone's mouths hang open except Jack's.

Realizing what is happening to me, he stands right in front of me, blocking my view to the roof. He crouches and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Y/N." He calls softly in that sweet fatherly voice only he can manage. Honestly, he is like a father to me.

He puts his thumb on my cheek and makes a wipe motion. Am I crying? I realize my vision is blurred. Yes, I am crying.

Finally my brain gets that this is not the time or place to be emotional. This is a battlefield, goddammit. There is an agent bleeding right by my side.

I wipe my tears away and stand up. Jack helps me place the agent on the trunk with the load and I climb after him. I recharge my gun with ammo if needed.

The truck starts moving, going to the base. The agent with the bleeding leg passed out by my side but I know he will be alright.

Amélie is alive. No one at Overwatch knew what Talon had done with her, Sombra and Gabe. There is still a chance. They are still out there.

The whole ride to the base I caress the ring in my finger.

Amélie is alive.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It's been five days. Five days of trying to track them down without pause. Jack and Ana assured me they are using every resource they can.

Fareeha stops me while I am walking to the kitchen. She asks me if I am taking care of myself properly since she likes to think of herself as my older sister.

"I promise, Fareeha. Today I even slept 8 hours." She gives me a suspicious look.

"I don't believe you."

Just when I was going to answer her, I see a troop of Overwatch agents running past us to what I assume is the armory.

We look at each other curiously.

I see Angela past Fareeha's shoulder and step in front of her. She backs away with a glow in her eyes when she notices me.

"Angela, what is going on?" She was walking so hurriedly that her change of attitude threw me off a little.

"Jack and Ana found them! They found Sombra, Gabe and Amélie." She says with a brilliant smile and shining eyes.

My mouth hangs open for a second before my face changes in happiness. I cover my mouth and close my eyes for a little, absorbing the news.

"Where are they?" I ask swiftly, my impatience growing every second.

Finally the days without sleep paid off.

"Operations." And then she runs to the armory again.

I don't even say goodbye to Fareeha as I run to Operations like my life depends on it.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

I burst through the operations' door. Jack and Ana stop talking abruptly when they see me.

"Is it true?" The smile is still very present in my face.

"Yes." Ana answers with a little smile of her own.

"Oh my God." My body is gleaming with happiness at this point.

"Okay, I'm just gonna grab my gear and I'll meet you in the hangar." I say accelerated. I try to make my way to the armory but Jack's hand grabbing my arm stops me.

"Y/N," Ana starts, her smile completely vanished. "We don't think it's a good idea for you to come with us."

I look at Jack and I can immediately tell he agrees. I pull my arm from his grasp and back away.

"What?" I don't scream. I don't shout. My voice is low and distressing.

"You are too emotionally attached to the mission." Jack tries to explain.

And I snap.

"Of course I'm too emotionally attached to the mission! My girlfriend, my best friends have been missing for more than 9 months! No one did a damn thing about it! You all just sat in your fancy chairs instead of looking for them! I was the only one who had hope of finding them! Now, all of a sudden, everybody cares! WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU 9 MONTHS AGO?!"

Finishing my outburst I feel my chest moving up and down at an alarming rate. My face and neck feel hot as hell. My hands are flexing with need to punch something.

"Ana, can you leave us alone, please?" Jack requests, his eyes never leaving mine. He is calm, his voice is calm and that just angers me more.

Captain Amari leaves the room, leaving me and Jack to stare at each other wordlessly. I cross my arms trying to control my emotions.

I am mad. I am enraged. But still, a little voice in the back of my head reminds me that Jack is like a father to me, and I just yelled at him.

"You're questioning my methods." His voice is still a little soft, but mostly stern.

"I'm not questioning them, I'm saying it's stupid." I argue. My voice is much more gentle.

He lets out a deep breath conditioning me to do the same.

"Why?" My tone drops alarmingly.

"I'm too afraid you're going to do anything to get them back."

Then I realize, he is not punishing me. He is protecting me.

"Amélie needs someone to come home to." He finishes.

I'm at a loss for words. Jack is just making sure everyone gets a happy ending.

Without a word, I embrace him in a tight hug. He hugs me back, resting his head on top of mine.

"Thank you." I mutter.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Since I wasn't allowed to go on the mission, I asked Winston to send me Sombra, Gabriel and Amélie's files from Talon.

They arrived an hour ago and I still can't believe them.

Looking at my computer in my room, I'm curled in a ball in my chair, covering my mouth with glossy eyes. Everything around me is dark, the only light being the screen of the computer.

All the horrors they did to them. It is all here. All the experiments. All the trauma they put them through.

Sombra was forced to hack for them. They would threaten to kill her if she didn't want to do it. They made her steal information from a lot of people for blackmail.

Gabriel was experimented on, made into a shadow. The procedures were painful and he screamed for hours during the night. The report says they would just tranquilize him.

And then Amélie.

Amélie was... she... Amélie was brainwashed. They broke her will, slowed her heart, messed up her brain until she became the perfect weapon: emotionless. I can't read half of the reports about her. Just imagining what she's been through. What if... What if she isn't Amélie anymore? What if Amélie is gone?

There is one thing still bothering me. All the files and papers say that she is emotionless. That was Talon's primary objective with her. But if she is emotionless... Why was she shocked when we saw each other? Supposedly, she doesn't have any memories after Gérard and Overwatch. So... how did she recognize me? Maybe... just maybe... Amélie isn't completely gone.

My phone beeps, pulling me out of my head. I reach for it and see a message from Angela. 'They are in the med bay. Whenever you're ready.' it reads.

I don't respond. What can I say, after all?

Even if Amélie is still in there, does she blame me for not looking for her? Is she angry with me? Does she want to have a life with me again?

A knock on my door nearly makes me jump from my chair.

"It's open." I try to say. The crack in my voice makes me flinch.

The person enters and just after a few seconds I turn my head away from the screen.

Amélie. It's her. In bone and flesh. Right in front of me.

I don't know what to say. What to think. What to do. And by the looks of it, neither does she. So we just stare at each other in the darkness.

A few minutes of this and my throat feels strong enough to mumble some words.

"Do you know who I am?" My tone seems sufficiently steady.

Amélie takes some time of her own. I can't even begin to wonder what is going on in her head.

"Mon coeur."

And I lose it. I start crying without stopping. Not a sound escaping my lips, just silent tears blurring my vision.

"I..." Amélie starts, I look at her wiping my tears away. When she understands she has my full attention she goes on. "Talon brainwashed me. They experimented on me. Broke me in every way possible. They tried to wipe my memories away and make me emotionless. The perfect weapon."

I lower my head, not wanting to hear more. Her voice is even but I know deep down she is suffering so much. I don't want her to revive that. Nonetheless, she keeps going.

"For a few months it worked. I couldn't feel any emotion. I was numb. But my memories were starting to come back in pieces, I started remembering my life again. My first memories, my childhood at Chateau Guillard, my ballet recitals, Gérard, and you. Eventually, I remembered everything, but I just kept hiding my feelings so no one would suspect and take me back to the lab."

Realizing she is over, I lift my head again. When I look at her I take in her teary eyes. They are glossy, but no tears fall.

"Amélie..." I try.

Her lower lip trembles and the tears she was holding are finally set free. I'm a little shocked at her reaction. Then it clicks. She probably hasn't been called Amélie for so long.

I get up from my chair and practically lunge at her. She catches me without an effort and just holds me close. I take notice of how cold her skin actually is. I read about it in the reports but it's not as bad as I expected. Almost feels... welcoming. I breathe in the scent on her neck. She still smells like my Amélie.

She copies me and breathes in my perfume. When she recognizes the smell as the same I've always used around her because she told me it was her favourite, I feel hot tears wetting my shirt.

I pull back a little to wipe away her tears with both my hands. She catches my hand after noting something.

I only stare at her trying to get why she grabbed my hand.

"You kept it." Her voice shows a little more emotion this time. Almost hopeful.

The ring.

"Of course I kept it." A little smile creeps to my lips. "I never stopped loving you, Amélie." Now a little smile tugged at her lips. "It also gave me hope when I thought I'd never see you again."

Amélie moves her lips to kiss the ring on my finger, then she looks at me intensely. I know what she wants and I also know she is too fragile to ask for it.

I lean in to kiss her but stop. Just a millimetre separating our lips. I look in her eyes again, just to be sure. She nods and I finally close the gap.

The kiss isn't hurried, feverish or hot. It's calm, full of promises, regrets and assurances. It is an affirmation of our love.

When the kiss is over, we don't pull away too much. We lean our foreheads together and just stare at each other's eyes. The last thing either of us wants is to be apart again.

Talking about eyes... "I've always loved your eyes but blue really pops them out." I giggle a little.

I see the inside of her eyebrows lift in concern. I can see she is getting insecure about her new skin tone.

"Hey." I say, making her look at me again. "I like it, it suits you."

And we kiss again. The second of so many yet to come.

[roxiewritesstuff]

[roxiewritesstuff]

The Life I Want

Hi guys! This is my first fic posted online! This being said, a little feedback would be appreciated.

English is not my first language so feel free to correct any mistakes!

Warnings: family problems, reader’s mother is an asshole, mentions of death of a minor character, Fareeha is an amazing girlfriend (tell me if I missed any)

Pharah (Fareeha Amari) x Fem! Reader

“Can you hand me that shirt, Habibti?” Fareeha asks from across the room. She’s currently sitting on the floor in front of a suitcase, packing for our upcoming trip. 

Summer vacation is almost around the corner. Some agents have already left, some are arriving soon. For a week or so, Overwatch headquarters are almost deserted from agents. The only people left are backup agents or simply the ones who didn’t want to take a vacation. In a way this is good, me and Fareeha can be more affectionate with each other without worrying as much about people finding out about our relationship.

Not even Ana, Fareeha’s mother, knows about us. Not because I think she will judge us, never. I know Ana is accepting since Fareeha already came out to her some years ago. My mother on the other hand…

My mother and Fareeha’s mother do not have a good story. This hate that my mother, specifically, has for Ana began when I was just a kid. You see, my mother works at Overwatch’s executive office, while my dad worked as a field agent. Back in Overwatch’s glory days, the three of them had a companionship no one could break.

Until the accident. A routine mission was being executed, everything seemed well. Ana commanding and my father being her right arm. Then everything went south. I’m not sure what happened that day since no one wanted to explain to a kid why she no longer had a father. My father and five other elite field agents died that day. Ana barely made it out alive. Nonetheless, my mother blamed her for the loss of her husband.

As I grew up, I tried to find more information about that mission but came out empty. Like it never existed. But one thing I’m sure of, it wasn’t Ana’s fault.

Ever since I read what little scraps of reports I could find about that day, me and my mother grew apart. Our different perspectives about a crucial day in our lives made it impossible for us to carry a normal mother and daughter relationship. It only got worse when I entered Overwatch as a field agent. My mom was not happy at all. She almost-

“Habibti? Can you hear me?” The sudden trip back to reality scares me enough to hit my head on the bedside table, making me whine in pain.

“Oh my Ra! I’m so sorry, love. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Fareeha pulls me up, hugging me gently. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. You just scared me.” I laugh it off. The pain gradually leaving my skull.

In an attempt to make me feel better, my girlfriend kisses my scalp.

“You looked so lost in thought that I got worried.”

Before I could even disclose to her what I was thinking about, a blasting siren makes my eardrums tingle. It’s a mission alert. Both our watches beep, Athena alerting us that we are the last minute assigned agents for this mission.

“Shoot. We should’ve left earlier.” I sulk a little.

“C’mon, darling. This one will just take a few hours.” She reassures me, grabbing my hand and rushing to the armory.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Well, Fareeha was right. It only took a few hours. But those few hours completely worn me out.

On our way back to headquarters I’m so exhausted I could sleep on the floor. I did try to sleep on the bus’ floor but Fareeha, being the thoughtful girlfriend that she is, pulled me up and allowed me to sleep against her.

“I’ll wake you up when we arrive.” She whispers to me.

Being so drained, I can’t even thank her, so I simply rub my head deeper on her shoulder.

Something that neither of us are aware at the moment is Captain Amari smirking at the cute scene.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Finally. After a power nap on my way back to headquarters, the only thing I want is to finish packing and get out of here. Of course, something always gets in the way.

“I’m sorry! Agent!” An executive assistant calls for me.

“Yes? Can I help you?”

“Your mother demanded to see you upon your arrival.”

He doesn’t need to say anything else. Everyone around us gives me looks of pity. Word got around that me and my mom have a complicated relationship.

“I’ll be in the hangar when you get out.” Fareeha assures me with a back rub.

As I walk to my mother’s office I change my demeanor to be as neutral as possible. It’s easy to get enraged with her.

I knock on her door and wait for permission to enter. I barely have time to close it before I’m getting screamed at.

“Have you lost your damn mind?! What the hell were you thinking?!” She stands from the chair only to slam her hands flat on the desk.

“Don’t look at me like that. It was an emergency. I didn’t have a choice.” From all the years dealing with my mother, I learned that yelling back would only get my voice sore. It doesn’t matter how much I scream, she never hears.

“Your choice was to never be a field agent.” She’s not screaming anymore but her voice is filled with hatred. For her own daughter.

“We’ve talked about this. I won’t live the life you want for me. This is my life and I’ll do whatever I want with it.”

Her head drops in disappointment.

“It’s Amari’s daughter, isn’t it?”

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t try to lie to me. I saw you two kissing the other night! She’s the reason you’ve been so irresponsible later, right? She’s a bad influence.”

I can’t even begin to wonder how she even got to this conclusion. 

“You know, just because you hate Captain Amari doesn’t mean you can talk about her and her family in any way you want. She’s still above you.” I try to keep my tone as monotone as I can.

“That woman killed my husband! You’re rolling in bed with the daughter of the woman who killed your father!”

“She didn’t kill him. You know that. You know that better than me. But your mind still needs someone to blame, so you attack the first person you can think of. Hating Captain Amari is going to end up ruining your life, mother.”

As happens every time she knows I’m right, she diverts the subject.

Sitting back down, she recollects herself as to be ‘the bigger person.’ Whatever that means to her.

“You are forbidden to see her from now on. And no more missions, I’ll do my best to get your contract terminated so you can work under me.”

I can only stare at her like she’s crazy. But then again, she may be.

“You cannot order me around! No one is getting between me and Fareeha nor me and my job.” And the calm is out the window.

“It isn’t up for debate.”

“No, it isn’t.” I get closer to her desk, leaning right above her. “You do not tell me what to do anymore. I don’t follow your orders. You are not my superior. You are barely my mother anymore.”

That finally catches her attention, her eyes widen. She has the nerve to act as if it is a surprise.

“I am your mother. I am your only family.”

“You are not my family. Those people out there are my family. They’ve been through hell with me! They held me when I was down! They’ve carried my body when I couldn’t move! They’ve literally saved my life in every way imaginable! They are my family!”

“If you think like that, how about we make it official?” She stands up again, making me take a step back. A defense mechanism for her… unpredictability during arguments.

“How so?” I ask, curious.

“Since I can’t punish you, how about I forbid you to use my properties?”

My eyes darken before my head drops. Mine and Fareeha’s planned trip was to a beach house my mother owns. Even though Fareeha would be disappointed, I can’t back down. It’s time to face my mother.

“Go ahead. I don’t need anything that comes from you. I don’t need you.”

My mom leans back surprised with the venom in my voice, completely speechless.

Finally, the arguing is over. I can leave. So I do.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

I walk in the hangar with my head low. Fareeha will be disappointed when I tell her we can’t go on our vacation anymore. At least I still have my apartment, which is in my name, so my mother can’t take that away from me. Maybe me and Fareeha can have a summer vacation in my apartment? Yeah, that doesn’t sound nearly as good as a beach house.

Looking around for the Egyptian woman, I spot her putting our suitcases in the trunk of her car. She must have finished packing everything. Now I feel even worse.

Before I have the courage to walk up to her, her eye spots my figure. I assume I look bad because as soon as her eyes land on me, her expression screams worry.

When I finally get to the car, my head is still hanging low. There’s no point in masking my feelings with Fareeha, she reads me like an open book.

“Oh habibti…” She hugs me tight. Comforting arms embracing my body. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“We need to talk about it, Fareeha.” I still don’t look up at her. All I want to do is nuzzle my face in her neck forever. “We can’t go on our vacation.”

She forces me to look at her with her hand on my chin. “Why is that?” her voice much more gentle than I predicted.

“My mother forbade me to use her properties. The beach house is hers so we can’t go there now.” I bury my head in her neck again.

“That’s okay, love.”

“No! That’s not okay! You wanted to go to the beach. How the hell are we gonna do it now?”

“Love, I wanted to be with you. I don’t care if our summer is spent on the beach or on your apartment floor eating ice cream, as long as I’m with you.” She explains.

“Are you sure?” I ask, looking at her in the eyes to grasp her genuine answer.

“Of course.” Her soft, warm eyes disclose that she is telling the truth.

When I give her a simple nod, she pulls me even closer to give me a reassuring kiss. But before our lips meet, a voice echoes through the hangar.

“Hello, lovebirds.”

The hangar makes a tremendous amount of echo, so when I hear Ana’s voice it makes me jump away from Fareeha so fast that if it wasn’t for her I would’ve landed on my butt.

“Oh- Greetings, Captain Amari.” Fareeha giggles behind me at how formal my nervous tone was.

“Call me Ana, sweetie. No need to be formal to your future mother-in-law.”

Fareeha, sensing that I’m completely frozen in place, holds my hand and steps in front of me.

“I’m sorry, mother. This is not how we wanted to tell you.”

The Captain only quirks one eyebrow up.

“Who do you take me for? I’ve known for months.”

Both me and Fareeha stare at her in disbelief.

“How did you know?” Asks Fareeha.

“A mother knows.” She gives her daughter her signature smirk. Then her eyes land on me. “Besides, the heart eyes you throw at each other since you met were dead giveaways.”

Finally finding my voice, I speak up. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I figured you’d tell me when you were ready.”

“So… you’re okay with this? Me and your daughter?”

Ana approaches me and grabs my shoulders gently.

“You make my daughter happy. That’s all I care about.”

“Thank you, Ana.” I say before hugging her. I let my body relax against her comforting embrace.

“Of course, dear. Now…” The woman pulls away. “I heard what happened with your mom. You two are looking for a beach house?”

“H- How did you know?” I ask.

“Your mother screams very loudly. Anyways, I have a beach house you can use for your vacation if you want.”

Fareeha stares at her mother, curious. “Since when do you have a beach house?”

“Since I died. It was one of my safehouses. You can use it all you want.”

Ana walks to her daughter and gives her the key.

“Thank you, mother.” They hug each other. It might be the first time I witness their beautiful bond.

“Thank you, for choosing an amazing daughter-in-law for me.”

My face heats. It may be a little too soon for that.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, okay?” Fareeha starts guiding me to her car. “I’ll call you when we get there!” She half screams.

“Good trip, girls!”

“Thank you!” I shout back.

And we finally went on our summer vacation.