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"how do i let it all go?"
[ advice ]
“ this isn’t something you can let go. ”
“ it will hurt and it will make you want to die — but there is so much more out there, ruby. so much beauty that you’ve yet to see.”
“ you taught me that. ”
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“exactly why i came up here. too many people.”
silence was a far more comfortable friend than the chaos most thrived off of. the bars were loud, albeit profitable. cassidy had perfected the art of dealing with his customers, all business and no conversation to fill the voids. maybe one day the witches would build up the same reputation, one where she wouldn’t be required to mingle with strangers.
leo wasn’t as brash as some of his fellow soldiers.
he was good, whether that was an admirable trait in the outlaw life or not. ruby could sense it within him, his camaraderie always lingering on him like fresh tobacco. his reputation rang different than his father’s, incomparable entirely. his presence brought a welcoming grin, falling as soon as it had appeared. with fingers still clutching the lit joint, she offered her hand sheepishly in his direction.
“what’s the celebration for, anyways? they all seem a little more drunk than usual.”
he broke out into the night air almost desperately– like greeting an old lover. his boy stepped out of the stairwell and onto the open landing of the roof, his fingers already busy striking up a cigarette. nostrils flared, he drew on the tobacco, nostrils flaring as he inhaled. until he exhaled, smoke billowing out like an over exerted factory, dispersing its stress across the world. they were celebrating, down below, but leo was having a hard time remembering exactly what the occasion was supposed to be. it could have been the successful run they’d made upstate, earlier that week. or, the fact that their president had bowed out of changing a charter law (he knew when to pick his battles, and that certainly wasn’t worth it) or, it could have just been a wednesday night.
whatever the reason, it was clouded by five beers, a joint, and the constant contamination of tar seeping into his lungs. sighing, he looked upward, catching sight of someone small and brunette. furrowing his brow a bit, he leaned forward and over, on his toes, before falling elegantly into step at the realization of who it was.
he stopped behind her, letting out a sigh, another wave of smoke drifting out to greet her, ❝ what’ya doin’ up here? ya’ missin’ the party, ❞ he informed pointedly, his fingers tugging the cigarette from between his lips just long enough to take another sip of his beer.
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ruby simply stared.
flirtation didn’t warm her eyes, nor animosity. the witch had been alarmed, a shift in the atmosphere enveloping her moments before. it had been subtle, absent of the makings of a hurricane. this was the single drip of rain before the storm, a warning one might mistake as a false alarm.
she didn’t believe in coincidences anymore.
deandra was running late, a typical fashion for the prostitute. luckily her dealer had more patience than she had money-- a rare commodity among these lands. she sipped on the glass of water left by a knowing bartender, ruby no longer having to utter the words i don’t drink. quizzical looks were replaced by a lack of care, only voicing concern if patrons who actually drank came in looking for a vacant bar stool.
this girl wasn’t a normal customer, couldn’t be. something felt off in the congested air surrounding them.
@rubydelgad0
bumfuck was a shit hole. and not the same sort of shithole that nowhere mississippi was. it was the type of dank, moldy smell you got after opening a locked cellar for the first time in ten years. or, like a festering wound. and the magic in the air crept like one. she could feel it, faintly, intertwining in nearly everything around her. she’d followed the steady stream of his mother that still lay in the currents. and it had dumped her out there.
THE ONLY THING TO DO, WAS TO DROWN HER SORROWS. – and, to get to work. her ex wasn’t going to kill himself, so the task fell on her to offer the favor. sighing into the head of her beer bottle, she leaned in against the bar, her body slightly lifted form the barstool to take a quick sneak behind the bar. one of the bartenders (probably new) had a bad habit of leaving the cash drawer open when he turned his back to hand off change. it was sloppy. no, she thought, this muh home now…
sighing, she took another swig, sitting back, her head cocking to the side as she plunged a hand into the pockets of her shorts for her cigarettes. ready to strike one, she only halted at the sight of a particularly beautiful brunette some ways from her. smiling inwardly, she struck up the end of the cigarette, turning her attention to the bartender to place an order, before she let herself openly stare at the other, suggestion in her eyes.
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summers in the swamplands were violating.
night air felt like an unwanted man breathing heavily against your neck. hot, balmy, its consistency made you more uncomfortable as you tried to resist. the heat only proved more suffocating. she rarely complained about this, thrived in fact, when the fire-kissed air enveloped her. ruby loved the warmth, she’d been cold for too long.
tonight was not filled with this familiar enjoyment. she needed to get out of this goddess-forsaken bar, something she’d call a no man’s land if there weren’t so many men with vile tongues scattered everywhere. they were good clients, but terrible company. the whiskey-sweat pouring from their oversized bodies only had her turning up her nose.
ruby couldn’t judge--- but she could smell.
business could be put on hold for a minute, if only so she could tap into her own stash for a minute. weiss urges that burning through her own supply was bad for cash flow. ruby didn’t care. with a look over her shoulder, she wordlessly slipped out of the main room, gliding seamlessly towards the ladder leo had shown her months prior.
as she slipped into isolation, a joint rolled hours before was pulled from her jean pocket. its paper was no longer fresh, wrinkled from the strained confines she’d kept the little gem hidden in. it was a near miracle that it hadn’t been shredded by her constant motion this evening.
minutes into her smoke session, a rough clearing of a man’s throat caused her to jump, long locks whipping around as squinted eyes strained to see who’d intruded.
as if this was solely her spot.
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“no guarantee.”
she didn’t have to smile or wink, the signature deadpan humor rarely going missed by those closest to her. after plucking up the burning roach once again, ruby let it burn idly between her fingers. her chest still rose and fell dramatically, an erratic heartbeat slowly dulling as she found peace once more.
as much as she she could get without him around.
the younger witch took a deep drag off the joint as she nodded her head towards the free space in the bed. ruby didn’t need to scoot over, she was already saving a spot for someone who wouldn’t be here tonight. as the brunette slumped into the pillowed haven, she handed zahra the dimming joint and a lighter to accompany.
“i’ll get us another.”
with christmas lights illuminating over the witches, ruby reached over and fumbled for a loose bud and paper on her bedside table. placing the zig-zag on her stomach, she began to grind the sticky herb between her fingers. all of her hazy eyed concentration was on the task at hand, her words sounding preoccupied as she spoke.
“--- the new kid seems to have taken a liking to you.”
”i would hope so. simbi tends to run into more walls.”
being partially blind would do that to a feline.
her eyes twinkled with amusement as zahra rested against the door frame, arms crossed and head cocked as she watched her sister move in a hazy panic, recovering the fragment of a joint before it had the chance to burn a hole through her sheets.
“think you could hold off on burning this place down, though?”
a faint chuckle breezed past her lips, the witch’s eyes idly drifting towards the empty half of ruby’s bed. the lack of a certain brunette was almost… unsettling. cassidy had become a regular in their home, something zahra seemed to no longer mind. it wasn’t uncommon to find him sitting at their kitchen table or his upper half under a sink or some other fixture, tackling the endless list of repairs their home seemed to offer.
but most of all, she could always count on the duo sharing a bed.
the question of cassidy’s whereabouts was on the tip of her tongue as zahra pushed herself off of the frame and lazily sauntered over, the sweet smoke filling her nostrils as she moved further into the room. she hovered over the edge of ruby’s bed, a pause hanging in the air.
“got room for one more?” zahra finally asked, corners of her lips twitching upwards. “and maybe a little more of that to go around?” she nodded in the direction of the joint.
#.zahr#and by new kid I MEAN WEISS#because he's finally working for them lol#.....even if it's only in spirit ;)
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“advice is worth nothing unless it actually helps someone.”
the transition to friend with advice was one she’d never expected to take. for so long she’d been trapped in self-driven motives, only one goal in mind. vengeance clouded her judgement for so long, a smoke-thick illusion that kept her from any sense of happiness.
if you could call happiness the dull gray she’d slipped into. at least it was better than the alternative that burned her insides. smiles were less forced now, including the one that trickled against her lips at orson’s joke. it wasn’t much, but it was progress.
“camera’s are easy-- point and shoot. what we’re having problems with is that instant-gram that all the photos are hung up inside.”
❝ you know what?? i just might. ❞
he sat back in his seat, a surprising expression crossing his features; a mixture of fascination and relief. granted, this was all fake and orson would most likely find another way to shut her up, but ruby didn’t need to know that.
❝ if anything, i’d be doing them a favor. they’re both pretty cool people. ❞
❝ y’know, you’re pretty good at this. the whole … advice thing. ❞
he offered a kind smile, nodding slowly to himself as he glanced back down at his phone. looking over at the brunette, he furrowed his brow with a comical tint visible in his eyes.
❝ by the way, how’s the whole technology thing going for you?? last i heard, weiss was trying to teach you how to use the camera. ❞
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of course he didn’t want to hurt the girl. orson wasn’t the malicious type.
“oh... that seems a little difficult.”
she didn’t know how to empathize. she hadn’t exactly been in the dating game before. let alone had to reject someone. there was a perk to being alone, and this was one of them. ruby’s fingers combed through silken locks as her eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
“i’m not good with words. when i don’t want to talk about something, i just... don’t.”
her lips pulled into a slight curve, hardly detectable. she looked at him with sympathy, despite feeling a tinge of guilt over not having more help for him.
“if it were me--- i mean, she wasn’t unattractive. do you have a friend you can set her up with? it could help if she has someone else to focus on.”
❝ honestly? ❞ he paused. ❝ i wish that were my problem. ❞
his eyebrow itched and, without thought, he raised his hand to scratch it. while this wasn’t the first time a woman had latched onto him, he still found it necessary to ask for help — if only to make it seem as though he needed it.
❝ look, i don’t …. ❞
❝ … i don’t want to hurt her feelings. ❞
a light sigh escaped his lips as he shook his head, a bit of bile gathering in the back of his throat as he fought the urge to kick his own ass. what a pussy thing to say.
❝ the girl who introduced us? she hasn’t really, eh … left me alone. at all. as we’ve been talking, she sent me a text. see? ❞
he lifted his phone, showing off the message.
❝ so how do you do it? how do you tell a girl you aren’t interested? ❞
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she couldn’t tell that smoke had begun to roll off the walls, lingering in a fogged haze throughout the bedroom. ruby was lying under the messy tangle of christmas lights they’d hung from her ceiling, a joint threatening to fall from feathered fingertips.
even in cassidy’s absence, ruby had a habit of sticking to one side of the bed. less out of obligation, almost always the formed routine they’d slipped into. a foreign noise startled her, the lit joint slipping to the sheets. ruby fumbled around, burning her hand as she plucked the burning roll up.
“you’re even quieter than the cat.”
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ruby: i know.... hey, i know.
ruby: just talk to me, okay? i’m right here. just tell me what happened.
cassidy: i’m tired, ruby.
cassidy: ... i don’t like that i can’t sleep in my own apartment.
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ruby: ....cas??
ruby: ...where are you?
cassidy: ...
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ruby: i didn’t hear from you tonight...
ruby: ...you okay?
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he had kind eyes.
there was something there that made ruby believe he could stick around, become part of their family as cassidy had. he appeared commonplace in their kitchen, like he belonged there. ruby’s eyebrow quirked as she looked at the back of his head, circling around the table at his plea and sitting across from him.
“are you alright??”
he must have said that because she had three sisters.
“is that smile of yours finally not enough to charm a woman ??”
❝ seeing as how we’re on a first name basis now, ❞ he mused, allowing his voice to trail off as he leaned forward in his chair. ❝ i need some advice. ❞
orson had made connections with the girl, making her his plaything as he created emotional ties through lies and deceit. a smile here and a sob story there and suddenly the man was seated in her quaint little kitchen as if he’d grown up there. ah friendship.
❝ i figure you’d be able to give me the best advice, seeing as … well, seeing as you’re good with women. ❞
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“what you’re lacking is hope. ------ nothing i say will gift that to you.”
“when you reach your dead end in the road, call me.”
“ you talk nice, i’ll give ya that. ”
“ but havin’ a fancy tongue ain’t shit here. ——— i’m underestimatin’ you? sounds to me like you’re underestimatin’ them, because you can’t make that kind’a promise and keep it.
doesn’t work that way here. ”
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ruby liked snakes.
occasionally, they liked her too. she didn’t immediately scoop him up, that would have been disrespectful to the alluring creature. a warning hand ( that frankie couldn’t see ) held itself out to warn him against moving. it was fruitless she’d remember later, but her attention currently lie elsewhere. its belly drug across the dirt, a soothing clicking noise rolling off the girl’s tongue as she lowered her opposing hand in front of the reptile. plucking the poor thing straight off the only stability he knew would have been rude.
she said nothing to the frozen man.
two fingers lie in front of the miniature snake, pausing momentarily at the road block her elongated digits presented. a spanish coo escaped her lips, assurances that she wouldn’t hurt the creature. it slithered into her hand, forming a bracelet as it began to circle around her wrist.
❛ she’s okay. you can BREATHE.
her following chuckle was almost inaudible, nothing more than a gentle scoff stemming from her nose. she was entirely enamored with the new friend she made, eyes not leaving her as she curled across tan flesh. she stood from the ground with a familiar grace, her arm refusing to budge as the snake circled about.
❛ do you want to hold her? ❛ she’s gentle.
❛ oh, ABSOLUTELY, ❛ I never make a deal I can’t follow up on. ❛ and especially not if it results in dancing with pretty women.
He had a good hand shake, firm, it was a UNIVERSAL TRUTH or something that a man couldn’t be blind and have a bad handshake. Francis took her hand with a practicedsort of confidence and found that, once more, he was almost RELUCTANT to let go. He drew his eyebrows together in confusion when Ruby addressed someone or SOMETHING as beautiful. Did they have company? Had someone gotten worried and come looking for Ruby? ( did she have a SOMEONE to get worried and come looking for her when she found herself entertaining strange blind men? ) Frankie’s mouth parted to inquire who was there when she clarified, almost taking a step forward out of instinct.
❛ –––––– a snake? ❛ this close?
Frankie figured they’d be making too much NOISE for a creature as gun shy as a snake to come wiggling around the earth underneath them. He supposed that he never thought much about SNAKES one way or another but he certainly wished no ill will towards the being, and especially not if it could bring a gentle brightness to his new acquaintance’s voice. So he stayed as still as he could, struck by some kind of BOYISH fascination, people had always described the animal as something slimy and wicked –––– but the way Ruby spoke of it, PROTECTED it, he wondered if she couldn’t do better than that.
❛ am I clear? is it okay?
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