samdotdocx

[samdotdocx]

Concrete, 100% effective way to tell if someone doesn’t belong in a LGBT+/queer space:

They openly and actively hate/ want to hurt the people in that space

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bottle with openwork shell adorned with the Hathor-head flanked by the two uraei; the rim and the base are shaped like lotus flower. Egyptian blue (copper-calcium tetrasilicate), ca. 1070-718 BCE; now in the Brooklyn Museum…

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Representation and Reception of Romantic Love in Pop-culture Media

This essay explores the gendered connotations of romantic relationships in modern media, using the three 'fandoms' with the most fan created written work inspired by them. Statistical analysis shows that the majority of the people who interact with these fandoms on that invested a level are women - and also that the number of people getting invested are increasing over the years. A majority of the works created under 'fandom' banners involve homosexual male relationships, often unfounded in the actual content of the program, and deviating from the 'canon' relationship presented. In contrast to the concept of 'penis envy' as coined by Freud, this essay explores the idea of these fictional relationships, and the development of the characters as is portrayed in the programs, being removed from larger trappings of gender identity and heteronormativity entirely, which is what makes them so popular, particularly among the female and LGBTQA fan population.

1. Introduction

Romance is a widely used and wildly popular element of modern storytelling. These stories usually involve monogamous, heterosexual relationships, but the relationships that are most popular amongst fan communities are often not the main pairing on the program, or heterosexual at all. This is an occurrence even with shows having no main romantic pairing; BBC's Sherlock, and Supernatural are the examples chosen here. With about 10% of people openly identifying as LGBTQA globally, the consumer base of these programs being largely heterosexual women, and the shows themselves having no concrete LGBTQA characters or content, where, then, do 'slash' pairings come from? Why are male/male pairings substantially more popular than male/female or female/female pairings?

2. Media Portrayals of Romantic Love

Western and American produced media have dominated the industry for the past twenty years or so, in large part due to the fact that English is the main language in a majority of the world's countries. Insidious westernisation aside, this also means the stories being told, and the characters telling them, are created with western socio-cultural norms in mind. These norms, for the most part, differ generally from eastern productions in their level of focus on the sexual aspects of romantic relationships. Korean dramas, for example, though many have plots centred around romance, have very little sexual content. That isn't to say one is better than the other; both cater to very different primary target audiences, and there is substantial global appreciation for both. The depiction of the 'romance' within them is one such example of the differences in demand for their respective target audiences. Though they both tend towards heteronormativity, Korean dramas can be said to be more focused on emotional and intellectual intimacy, than compared to their American contemporaries.

That being said, this essay is not meant as a commentary on western sexual fixation, but rather as an analysis of the kinds of relationships that are most popular amongst the audience. Gender and sexual-orientation play a large part in this, not just of the characters themselves, but of the viewer base.

There are various reasons these shows inspire what has been called 'cult' fan followings. The plots are meant to be engaging and fantastical, the lead characters are conventionally attractive, and, for the most part, decently written, by which I mean; independent of the story, the development of individual characters is done to a level where they can be connected with - and built upon; "people [write] fanfic because they [want] either 'more of' their source material or 'more from' it"1 The question here is not of the validity of the shows themselves as worthy of such following, but rather; where do the popular pairings in these fandoms come from, and why are they more popular than the ones already in the story?

2.1. The Three Most Popular Fandoms

A statistical analysis shows that the programs with the highest amount of fan created content are; 'Supernatural' (The CW - 2005 to 2020), 'Sherlock' (BBC - 2010 to 2017), and 'Teen Wolf' (MTV - 2011 to 2017). Of these, only Teen Wolf has a canonical romantic pairing for the main characters (Scott McCall/Allison Argent). However, multiple fan works have imagined pairings between characters that are not shown to be a couple on the show, and in the case of Teen Wolf, the most popular pairing is not the main in the series.

As of 2020, despite all three of these shows having concluded, there continues to be fanfiction written for them, though the rate at which these works are written has decreased. It is worth noting that the relative age of a fandom does not have a direct influence on the number of works created for it; if this were the case, older fandoms such as Star-Trek or various early anime would be in the lead.*

The most popular pairings, or 'ships' in these fandoms are 'Destiel' (Dean Winchester/Castiel), Johnlock (John Watson/Sherlock Holmes), and 'Sterek; (Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale) for Supernatural, Sherlock, and Teen Wolf respectively. None of these pairings are ever canonically portrayed, though arguments can (and have) been made in their favour due to the sub-text supporting them. All of them are male/male.

2.1.1. Statistical Support

One major reason for male/male pairings is that sheer amount of male lead characters in dramas of this variety. Statistically, there are just more male characters to connect with — both for audiences, and characters in the programs themselves.

2.2. Fandoms and Fanfiction

Fanfiction has existed possibly as long as fans have existed; it's even been argued that classic works like Milton's 'Paradise Lost' and Dante's 'Inferno' are fanfiction of the Bible. This essay focuses on fanfiction writers and readers using the hosting platform 'Archive Of Our Own' or AO3, as reference, from its inception to date; 2012 to 2020, though it is by no means the only website for fanfiction. It does however have the most refined system for tagging and navigating works, and its user base aligns more with programs targeted towards older audiences that would be more appreciative of romantic subplots.

This, as compared to other websites; fanfiction.net for example, which is the first multi-fandom digital archive and was created in 1998, and generally has a user base that trends towards under eighteen.

A majority of television shows have male leads, and often include at least one male supporting actor, but the primary relationships, if any, are usually heterosexual. This is true of media across the globe. Of the viewer base, using these three fandoms as an example, it is evident that the majority are heterosexual or bisexual adult women.

2.2.1. Fanfiction and Gender Roles

It doesn't seem to be the case that 'slash' (male/male) fanfiction, or the general popularity of these pairings is motivated by a desire for media representation of LGBTQA characters, although that is definitely a part of it. But in that case, why then are there so few works with female/female pairings? It is established that there is more variety for choice amongst male characters, but if this was purely motivated by representation, those few shows that do have female characters would likely have been popularised simply by virtue of presenting the possibility.

I propose that male/male pairings are popular with female audiences not just due to their availability, but also primarily because they are male characters. Not as a fetishisation of gay men (although I do acknowledge that is a very real issue), but rather a complete disconnect from the idea of traditional 'gender' altogether.

2.2.1.1. Heteronormativity

A trapping of heterosexual romantic story lines is that they fall into the habit of being just that; specifically 'romantic' stories, with characters being typecast as 'hero' and 'love interest'. Taking Teen Wolf for example; the relationship between the lead character Scott McCall and another character, Allison Argent, is set up right from the get go. Their relationship is a take on the 'Romeo and Juliet', 'star-crossed lover' trope. They are not badly written characters, exactly; Teen Wolf does, in fact, pass the Bechdel Test, but all their interactions are coloured by the expectation that they want to be together, and the tension caused by their feelings for each other. This, as compared to the most popular pairing on the show; Stiles Stilinski and Derek Hale, both of whom are supporting characters, with no particular love interests. Their interactions with each other are antagonistic and reluctant at best, and they become reluctant allies and eventually friends, but they are not exactly close. The quality of their interactions though, fulfills two important criteria; they are dynamic without being predictable, and they are vague enough to build upon. It is precisely because Stiles and Derek do not need to subscribe to the 'boy meets girl' stereotype, they are free from gendered expectations.

3. The 'Female Experience'

Amber Butchart raises an important point about the nature of the way women's experiences are treated.3 Taking that idea further, it could even be said that women, due to the way society has developed, experience things differently than men do. To clarify; consider our language and the concept of neutrality or generality. 'Man' and 'Woman', 'Male' and 'Female'. This is evident even in our choices for clothing; when women started joining the workforce en masse in the 80s, women's fashion adapted to look more masculine. That can be attributed to men's fashion dominating visual language as associated with the professional sphere, however, this is also a phenomenon observed in non-binary fashion; male, or masculinity, is considered the default. The 'male' experience is the baseline, from which the 'female' experience deviates.

Women in social spaces are aware of the fact that they are 'women', but men don't seem to have the same awareness of their gender, at least not in the same capacity. Toxic masculinity could be called a counterpoint to this argument, but even there; the issue is less a lack of any particular male virtue, and more the deviation from it.

3.1. Projection and Identification with a Character

The separation of gender from a character's identity ends up being the difference between 'female character', and 'character who happens to be female'. There are some very good examples of this; 'Steven Universe', for example, where the majority of the characters are female, but they are not female 'coded', as characters from mainstream media tend to be.

Separating a character from gendered expectations opens them up to relationships and interactions that are built solely on the personality of the characters themselves. For a majority of women who can be attracted to men, gender identity is a large aspect of their sexual identity, and it is appealing to want to create a space with characters that you enjoy and identify with, that are free from the confusion or expectations of gendered interactions. Once that is removed from the picture, it opens the story up to exploring the connection between two characters on a much deeper, more independent, and nuanced level, which in turn makes for better stories. Male characters in these shows interact free of those undertones, and as such are portrayed as having deeper, more dynamic relationships, that are built on more than just a mutual attraction; Supernatural for example. The relationship between Dean and Castiel is referred to as a 'profound bound', and, queerbaiting aside, while their relationship is not inherently romantic, they do actually have a profound bond. Neither of them are feminine in the slightest, but they do both display traditionally 'female coded' traits; emotional vulnerability being a key example here. TNT's 'Rizzoli and Isles' depicts this perfectly; though both female characters have multiple love interests throughout the series, when it comes to things that are considered domestic, or 'relationshipy', they seek out each other.

4. Conclusion

We are socialised to view ‘maleness’ in and of itself as a sort of subconscious default. The representation of woman and heterosexual characters in modern media has not yet caught up to the wants of their consumer base, and so when matters are taken into the fans’ own hands, the characters they choose to write about within those fictional worlds are primarily male, because those are the characters with the most fleshed-out and well-developed individual character arcs, allowing for a more nuanced, more satisfying personal connection. Male characters are able to be removed from preconceived ideas of heterosexual romance, which gives them a completely blank slate, so to speak. This blank slate is independent of the physicality or sexual component of the relationship. For example; Korean dramas focus primarily on these individual aspects of their characters and their relationships as well, but they do still operate within gendered expectations of behaviour. Slash fanfiction typically exists outside of these norms, and is an exploration of the female desire to experience true neutrality; to experience things as a person, primarily, and not as a ‘woman’.

5. Notes

5.1.Queerbaiting

It is not a coincidence that there is very little representation for relationships that are not heterosexual and monogamous in mainstream media. That being said, LGBTQA communities make up a substantial portion of the population and therefore target audiences, particularly for shows that are targeted towards teenagers and young adults. The cast and production team of several shows, including all those mentioned here, have admitted to deliberately adding queer subtext to their portrayal of certain characters, though they have no intention of ever canonising the relationship. This was likely done to appease both sides of the fence; since no one can say for sure whether or not it exists, everyone can come to whatever conclusion suits their beliefs best. This is a highly problematic tactic for several reasons, the larger socio-cultural implications of mainstream media that employ these tactics being prime amongst them.

Citations

Butchart, Amber Opinion | 14 NOV. “The Artificial Divide Between Fine Art and Textiles Is a Gendered Issue.” Frieze, November 14, 2018. https://www.frieze.com/article/artificial-divide-between-fine-art-and-textiles-gendered-issue.

centreoftheselights. “Fandom Demographics.” Archive of Our Own. Organisation for Transformative Works, 2013. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16988199?view_full_work.

“FanFiction.Net,” August 7, 2008. https://fanlore.org/wiki/FanFiction.Net. Crowd-sourced and peer edited. Last updated on 31/03/2021

Felschow, Laura E. “‘Hey, Check It out, There's Actually Fans’: (Dis)Empowerment and (Mis)Representation of Cult Fandom in Supernatural.” Transformative Works and Cultures. Organisation for Transformative Works, 2010. https://doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0134. State University of New York, Buffalo, New York, United States

Forst, Beth. “Couples Portrayed in Prime-Time Television.” CLA Journal 5 (2017).

https://uca.edu/cahss/files/2020/07/Beth-Forst-CLA-2017.pdf

Gates, Gary J. “How Many People Are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender?” Williams Institute, April 2011. https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/publications/how-many-people-lgbt/.

“Gender in Lead Roles.” AT&T Preferred Dealer, 2017. https://www.directpackages.com/entertainment-blog/gender-on-tv/.

Kamm, Björn-Ole. “Rotten Use Patterns: What Entertainment Theories Can Do for the Study of Boys' Love.” Transformative Works and Cultures. Organisation for Transformative Works, 2013. https://doi.org/10.3983/twc.2013.0427. Heidelberg University, Heidelberg, Germany

Narai, Ria. “Female-Centered Fan Fiction as Homoaffection in Fan Communities.” Transformative Works and Cultures. Organisation for Transformative Works, 2017. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2017.1014. University of Wollongong, Wollongong, New South Wales, Australia

Ng, Eve. “Between Text, Paratext, and Context: Queerbaiting and the Contemporary Media Landscape.” Transformative Works and Cultures. Organisation for Transformative Works, 2017. https://doi.org/10.3983/twc.2017.0917. Ohio University, Athens, Ohio, United States

Olah, Christopher. “Fanfiction, Graphs, and PageRank.” Fanfiction, Graphs, and PageRank - colah's blog, n.d. https://colah.github.io/posts/2014-07-FFN-Graphs-Vis/#:~:text=The%20sheer%20amount%20of%20fanfiction,4%25)%20(FFN%20Research).

Organisation for Transformative Works. “AO3 Stats - Weekly Traffic 2012 to 2020,” n.d. https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1D9L1gXhnGIxFNr6pX-UYn2NIGQBQO0o9Q48jfktPoaM/edit#gid=815016392.

Rozycki, Jessica. “#May17Because: 70% Of the World Population Live under Regimes That Restrict LGBT Rights.” GLAAD, May 5, 2015. https://www.glaad.org/blog/may17because-70-world-population-live-under-regimes-restrict-lgbt-rights.

Toasty Stats. “Fandoms Over Time.” ToastyStats: Fandom Statistical Analysis (blog), February 23, 2015. https://toastystats.tumblr.com/post/111930409603/fanfiction-net-fandoms-over-time-toasty-says.

“Top 30 Languages of the World.” Vistawide, n.d. https://www.vistawide.com/languages/top_30_languages.htm.

[samdotdocx]

I really need everyone to understand how serious the oxygen shortage in india is.

Not just for COVID patients, many of whom might die without it, but oxygen therapy is important for several other health issues.

People with COPD are at high risk for hypoxia (and for COVID) and often need oxygen therapy. You need medical oxygen for patients on life support. I had to get surgery back in September, and I needed continuous oxygenation because for a lot of types of anaesthesia, oxygen is essential to prevent complications and allow a safe transition into surgical anaesthesia.

The oxygen shortage means a collapse of the healthcare system and several people are going to die because of it. I do not exaggerate when I say that this is a disaster.

Please for the love of god, donate if you can and share/reblog any links that you find. Remember to NOT donate to PMCARES or any related government organisations.

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um so, some good news, the raw material embargo has been lifted, along with some aid

The United States has identified sources of specific raw material urgently required for Indian manufacture of the Covishield vaccine that will immediately be made available for India. To help treat COVID-19 patients and protect front-line health workers in India, the United States has identified supplies of therapeutics, rapid diagnostic test kits, ventilators, and Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) that will immediately be made available for India. The United States also is pursuing options to provide oxygen generation and related supplies on an urgent basis. The U.S. Development Finance Corporation (DFC) is funding a substantial expansion of manufacturing capability for BioE, the vaccine manufacturer in India, enabling BioE to ramp up to produce at least 1 billion doses of COVID-19 vaccines by the end of 2022. Additionally, the United States is deploying an expert team of public health advisors from the Center for Disease Control (CDC) and USAID to work in close collaboration with the U.S. Embassy, India’s health ministries, and India’s Epidemic Intelligence Service staff. USAID will also quickly work with CDC to support and fast-track the mobilization of emergency resources available to India through the Global Fund.

From here. This is only a temporary fix, and one that only applies to India. Brazil, Peru and the rest of the Global South are still suffering, India is able to draw diplomatic favours as an ally/anti China bulwark. But that should not be a prerequisite to citizens getting healthcare. We must continue pressuring govts till the TRIPS waiver is actually useful – aka no patents, compulsory licensing for the duration of the pandemic

[samdotdocx]

So, I watched 8 1/2, and whooo boi

Yes, I watched it for a class, but we all start somewhere. And what a place to start indeed; this is genuinely one of the most visually beautiful movies I've seen. But the narration; oh boy. There's that one post floating around somewhere that talks about Douglas Adams and how reading his writing was the first time the poster had actually understood what could be done with words; this movie matches that vibe. And I'm a little late to the game, but! Better late than never.

It goes without saying that the majority of the movie ‘8½’s points, which are nuanced and many, are conveyed subliminally. The lay person watching the movie doesn’t need to articulate to themselves what anything means; their understanding is not just influenced by, but created by nuances of the scene that the eye picks up on and connects with unconsciously. For example; the beach. Guido could just as easily have been flying over a park, or a canopy of trees. The beach though, despite connoting things like summer vacation or swimming, also places you in the sand, looking out over the water, knowing that you can go this far, and no further. It’s not the kind of feeling that can be articulated, but it informs our interpretation of Guido’s flight; on one hand, there is the freedom of the beach, related to carefreeness, but on the other, we have the danger of the open water, and Guido right on the edge of both. He could fly away and be free if not for the rope, but it is a restraint and an anchor at the same time, because if he flew away he might be free, but he’d also be alone, and at the mercy of the open ocean and sky. This, combined with the sentiment of the previous scene which demonstrated Guido’s feeling of being stifled and his need to escape, sets up the theme for the rest of the movie; Guido’s freedom in terms of his artistic and personal expression and desires, versus his safety in terms of maintaining the life he has built for himself. And later in the movie, the beach in his memory with Saraghina too is a place of similar confusion, but also similar freedom. The beach is an exploration, but also a hard limit, as we can infer from the ending of that scene, and the reprimand he faces in the next one, at 1.05.00. The people in his life have very specific expectations of him, and on one hand, he wants to live up to those expectations, but on the other, he’s not sure he can, or even if he actually wants to.

The film has a fluidity to it that is an integral aspect of the narrative. This is especially apparent when concerning the characters apart from Guido. The audience is meant to see things as Guido sees them; the story is technically about him, and the fluidity of the scene transitions adds to the snaking stream-of-consciousness quality of the narration, but it also serves to underscore Guido’s detachment from the world not only in a metaphorical sense, but also a literal sense. His focus, and therefore ours, lands so briefly and erratically on anyone else, but the moments that are chosen for the audience to see tell us so much about those characters. At the same time however, we never find out more about them. There is no exposition, because Guido never asks. And when they try to tell him something, he isn’t listening. We feel Guido’s restlessness, with conversations fading in and out of his range of concentration, the pieces of parallel stories that catch our interest, but are never pursued. Even the settings are mostly cluttered and busy, with elements that probably have endless meaning, but we never linger on them – with the exception of the photographs on his bed, which, being literally snapshots of people – women, specifically – taken out of context, are a neat parallel to the way Guido interacts even with real, live people. And all these other relationships become a foil to Claudia, the one person Guido has consistently been interested in, who he genuinely asks questions of; she is interspersed throughout the film and almost acts as a visual crescendo by the time she appears at 1.56.20. Claudia becomes a symbol of what Guido believes is his solution, even though he can’t quite pinpoint what his problem is. It’s not a coincidence that she appears just as everything is falling apart.

The overall mood of the film to me is one of confusion, and this feels deliberate. Guido is the only one here, it seems, who is lost. Lost in traffic, lost in a crowd, lost his direction. We know from Guido’s flashbacks that he is used to being the centre of attention, the centre of a crowd, and in many ways he still is, but the tone of that attention is very different. Guido’s flashbacks are bright and rose tinted, whereas in his waking hours – though the intention behind the attention is largely the same, though he is still the one who’s attention everyone is vying for, Guido is overwhelmed by it. Not by the attention itself, but the quality of it, and Guido himself can’t seem to understand why it is he’s feeling and behaving this way. He himself thinks he has everything he wants – or at least, everything he can reasonably have. It seems fairly simple, and fairly obvious, what he wants in his ideal life; he may not be getting any prizes for feminism, but there’s a part of him that knows that, and that part keeps it all a fantasy. He may come across as a bit of a Casanova, but he’s never been outright misogynistic. In fact, he’s generally quite sweet in his interactions with both his wife and his mistress. He knows he can’t really have what he wants. His project, the film, then, if not just a means for Guido to muddle through his confusion as to how to deal with the women in his life, becomes a larger reflective exercise – as is obvious, even to the characters in the story. His entire professional standstill, his childhood, his complicated feelings over his parents, everything; the plot meanders, as does Guido. “What do you want?” everyone seems to be asking him, but he has no idea other than ‘Not this’. “What’s the point here?” He doesn’t know.

[samdotdocx]

A very long-winded essay about why I love Night in the Woods and The Ramayana makes me Big Mad ft. Lets Talk About Mental Illness™

So I was in this class called 'The Ecology of Language". Excellent class, 10/10 would recommend - and especially relevant in the Indian context in particular, but that's a topic for another day.

One of the things we talked about was the concept of 'relatibality' in media, which, I'm sure we can all agree is a large component of contemporary character or story-line development. Considering the context of modern readers, what that sometimes ends up looking like (in our society that is built on constantly being told we are lacking, and the subsequent need to satisfy manufactured desires), is some wonderfully nuanced characters in stories stories that are three-dimensional, well rounded, and well developed and written. It's pretty great. And sometimes, what that means is that we have excellent characters that don't conform to the standard 'protagonist' stereotype. They might not even be 'good' (this is NOT a villain-apologist post). In fact, they might be complete idiots. They might be the people in stories who make all the wrong choices.

One such relatable character is Mae, and it's because she's an unmitigated train-wreck.

Anyone who knows the game probably knows what I'm talking about when I say the illustration style and character designs are gorgeous. Anyone who's ever dissociated probably knows what I'm talking about when I say that illustration style and character design were excellently used to create the sort of subliminal, surreal state of Mae's mind. And as you play the game, you see how that state of mind plays with the other characters, and - spoiler - it isn't great.

This is the first of the relatable aspects of Mae’s character; there are people around her who love her and are worried about her, but at the same time, are angry and irritated about her behaviour. At what point does it become too much to ask of those around you to forgive all your continuous and repetitive mistakes? Even if you have a good reason for it, mental illness is not an excuse for being exploitative, even if it is unintentional. Mae is not trying to hurt the people around her, but she constantly needs emotional labour from them – it’s exhausting, and people’s patience is going to run out eventually, as is their right.

Another aspect of this behaviour is the lack of reciprocity, an example of this being when Bea’s mother died of cancer – and Mae didn’t even notice.

There are several instances of Mae’s thoughtless behaviour throughout the game; she gets completely wasted and makes a scene at the party, gets jealous of of Greg and Angus because they’re leaving the town without her, and ends up destroying the radiator Bea was supposed to fix, getting her in trouble.

The thing is though, that Mae is given the opportunity to fix her mistakes.

A large part of relatability is the want so see yourself in a character. Mae is relatable to me because there are several circumstances and events in our lives that match up, but more than that; the game is an interactive visualization of her healing process. Her nine steps, if you will. She is given a second chance – and that chance is hard won, particularly in the context of the game.

Mae talks about feeling like she’s falling behind, of knowing that she is, in a way, wasting an opportunity that was a privilege in the first place, especially considering her family’s financial situation – but at the same time, being literally unable to help herself. And the aspects of the gameplay that hint at the supernatural elements of the story possibly being a figment of Mae’s imagination – well. All us depressed losers know what it's like to not be able to trust your own judgement and point of view. She talks about why she dropped out of college, and her description of the dissociation, and the mental and emotional deadening that it causes is spot on and so well represented.

It underscores the point that the logical brain knows that mental illness is an illness like any other – but the emotional brain doesn’t care.

The game does a brilliant job of laying bare the realities of middle class life, and makes painfully clear the fact that, at that level, it doesn’t matter how difficult things are for you. The world isn’t going to wait for you to get back on your feet.

Mae’s mental state and the limitations it imposes on her cultivates a state of extreme frustration. Again, relatable. It’s an understated aspect of illness of any kind; the anger at yourself, and how that anger carries over into a lot of things in your day to day life. After a point, it becomes a habit. Mae does this too; she's belligerent, and instigative, and unrepentant of consequences, because anger blinds you.

It's not how things will always be. I have the privilege of hindsight, so I can say that with authority. But, this isn’t the kind of thing that ever fully leaves you, either. If you break a kneecap, it’s going to bother you for the rest of your life, and similarly, mental illness has a ‘no return, no refund’ policy. So you grow up, and you try to adapt those habits and impulses into a more positive context. Recycling, right? Maybe you set your sights on things that actually deserve your anger, and you go from there. You find people who, for their own reasons, perhaps or perhaps not related to your own, are angry.

And you don’t understand the people who are not.

A large part of the anger and frustration surrounding mental illness is due to the stigma surrounding it. It’s frustrating to be so powerless and dependent, but this is exacerbated by the attitude of ‘it can’t be that bad’, which makes it so difficult to reach out, to be able to say, ‘I need a break’ – and actually get one. This is an attitude that carries over to a lot of other issues as well, and the worst part is – we are surrounded by people who are okay with it, who believe in and support that mentality.

The myth of Sita, for example. She is a strong female figure in Indian mythology, who overcomes her circumstances to live a ‘good’ life, and for all intents and purposes, is a hell of a role model.

But that’s the thing; her life wasn’t good, was it? She was supposed be a goddess reincarnated, she should have been powerful, and respected, but instead she is reduced to ‘wife’ – and everyone today is fine with it.

I respect her immensely for the choices she made; marrying for love was her choice, going into exile with her husband was her choice. She was the paragon of virtue, of 'wifeliness', of kindness – she chose her husband over everyone and everything else, including herself, as was expected of her. But yet – she couldn't win his trust or respect. It should not even have needed to be won.

It’s commendable the way she takes it all in stride, but why did she? She was kidnapped and held captive for years, entirely against her will, and her husband's response to that is to force her to walk through fire to prove her ‘purity’ – and she does it. And she stays with him after, and I cannot understand the depths of her patience and forgiveness, because I would have been livid, and I want her to be so too. I’m furious for her, because Ram was not just her husband, he was also the king, and his later verdict to exile her, alone, while heavily pregnant, his readiness to condemn her based on speculation and public sentiment, was not just a verdict against her, it was against every woman in his kingdom who had ever been victimised.

Sita became a martyr to the modern feminist movement – if she could not be angry on her own behalf, we will do it for her. But at the same time, she is still relatable, because we are held to a slightly lesser degree of the same expectations. There are always going to be aspects of things that you relate to. ‘Big Mood’ culture is a strong indicator of the human ability to empathise, especially with characters that you like, or respect.

Sita’s world, I imagine, was run by the expectations her society and community had of her, and maybe she didn’t even have the liberty to be angry. Who is responsible for portraying her in passive acceptance of her fate? Is that representation reliable? Would the story have been different had it been written by a woman?

I can't remember a time when I was not angry, especially about things like this. I am always ready to fight, and I think the same goes for so many other people today, sometimes to our detriment. I cannot imagine a world where that was not at the very least an option. Not necessarily the best option, - but Sita’s world was very different to ours. Even with centuries between us, we’ve just gotten over angry and depressed women being labelled as ‘hysterical’ and subsequently being locked away. What is it like, to have to be calm and careful in response to being treated like this? This care in response may not be an overt requirement anymore – though the fact remains that society will not take you seriously if you become hysterical - but shouldn't you, at the very least, be able to rely on the support of other people in the same boat?

That is the main difference in these stories, and another main point of relatability to me; Mae, like myself, had a support system. Sita did not. Mae was selfish and demanding in so many ways, and required a lot of time and patience and healing before she was able to give back, but she got there eventually because she was able to put herself first. She fought for herself, and when she couldn’t, she had other people to fight for her. Night in the Woods represents the intersection of oppressed minorities and community with their portrayal of Mae, Greg, and Angus in particular, and the importance of community support – and, the difference between geographical community, and communities formed through camaraderie and actual unity. And so does the Ramayana - except, where was Sita’s community? Where were her sisters, or her parents, when she was abandoned in the woods, and later when she committed suicide? We are well aware, in the modern day, of the state of mind that causes people to kill themselves, and yet that is a part of the story that we never talk about. Where were her people then?

What would have happened if she had been more like Mae, and put herself first instead of bleeding herself dry for people who never respected her, and would never do the same for her?

People relate to personalities. They relate to choices, and circumstances, and habits, and it is neither a good nor a bad thing, to be relatable or not. Sita will be highly relatable to people who, like her, were governed by their circumstances, and were screwed over despite their best efforts. People who felt they couldn’t, or shouldn’t exercise their power and agency. Sita’s death was at odds with her strong personality, and so was her deference to her fate on many occasions, but there are a lot of people out there who will relate to the feeling of simply wanting things to be over. Mae on the other hand; she’s a steamroller, and she doesn’t stop. There’s a reason her character is a cat, and jokingly referred to as feral in the game. She is persistent, she is growing.

[1] In Defence of Kaikeyi and Draupadi: a Note – by Fritz Blackwellhttps://www.jstor.org/stable/23334398?read-now=1&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents [2] https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/emergency-room-wait-times-sexism/410515/