sillygoofyqueer

[sillygoofyqueer]

I should mention that I got this back!!!!

Tumblr better watch out because they just deleted my reblog side blog for basically no reason I presume

[sillygoofyqueer]

Many things to be talked about but there's only one thing I really want to talk about in this very moment. KPDH x MXTX AU. Okay so last time we were yapping about He Xuan's backstory, and now we need to talk about how he fits into the main timeline. So, there's four members of Mogui Boys, and they're like "we're so hyped, we're so ready" (well, Hua Cheng and Wei Ying are)and Mo Xuanyu goes "no you aren't. Who the fuck is the rapper?!" Wei Ying's like "we don't need a rapper!" However, they learn that they both cannot choreograph things and they really do need a rapper because it would help a lot. Wei Ying knows how to do these things, because he's been trained since a young child, but literally everyone else in the group is like "what the fuck are we doing" no matter how enthusiastic they are about it (which, for two of them, is not very). Mo Xuanyu is like "this is so girlfailure, A-Yuan," and A-Yuan is a baby so he can't respond. THE POINT IS, Wei Ying is the only experienced guy and he's struggling to teach three guys who have little to no idea what they're doing. Also the songs suck because they have very different themes that they want to go for ("I will not do a hate song about your uncle. Or Bai Wuxiang. And I'm not doing a song devoted to your love for Xie Lian. STOP!"), so, they're in a bit of a pickle.

Completely unrelated to this, Hua Cheng pops back into the demon realm for a bit, searching for the water demon that everyone speaks of in hushed tones - after all, not many demons go out of their way to eat other demons. He Xuan is in his lake, having thoroughly come to terms with his existence as a demon over the centuries, and is hibernating after a feasting that had left most demons leaving a wild berth around his territory. However, he is suddenly rudely dragged out of his hibernation by a loud and aggressive splashing heading very quickly towards his sleeping space. He can hear his pets going to go deal with the problem so he can keep sleeping, but that hunger is creeping in again (had it ever really left?) and he decides that a light snack won't do any harm to his hibernation. So, he swims up to the surface, letting his true form shift and twist into the usual humane form as he drags himself up and - "Oh, fuck off!" That familiar pest who he can't eat because of that difference of power and centuries is standing there, water at his hips and a glint in his eyes. Hua Cheng is one of those very few demons he would classify as an acquaintance.

"You used to be a cultivator, right? Singing, dancing, all that?" Charming way of just digging right down and pulling at one of those core parts of trauma for him! The only reason why he does not immediately sink back down into the water is because one of his precious babies is curling around him and nudging his body around with its massive skull, and he needs to give it love. "Yes. Why." Next thing he knows, he's being grabbed beneath his shoulders and dragged out of the lake, leaving a trail of water and a distressed pet. His hair is sticking to his face and then also slipping down around him, robes soggy and dripping, but that doesn't matter because one second he's in the demon realm and the next there is a cool breeze on his skin and he's staring up at the night sky. It has been so long since he has seen clouds, or stars, or the moon. Suddenly, all frustration at being dragged around falls away as he just stares at the sky. His meimei had always loved the moon. What is he doing in the human realm? Why is the night sky in a wash of light and why is there so much noise echoing around this space that has narrowed down to just this point.

Wei Ying watches Hua Cheng drag a sopping wet water demon through the tear and lets him explain "oh yeah this guy used to be some sort of cultivator and he sang and shit" and that would be useful if the demon (He Xuan) hadn't been dead for six hundred years. Music works a lot differently now than it did six hundred years ago. However, it is an attempt to deal with the issue and it's better than the options that Luo Binghe and Mobei-Jun have been giving him (no options, to clarify), so he decides to try and make it work. He Xuan is taken back to his apartment and, after some negotiation (so much takeout being ordered. So much. At least someone can handle his spice level.), he takes a look over the vague compositions and song lyrics that Wei Ying has sort of come up with. All the while, A-Yuan is clambering all over Wei Ying and Mo Xuanyu is running a brush through He Xuan's hair, gushing about it, (because the other men won't let him touch their hair (to be fair, Wei Ying had had long hair until A-Yu tried to give him a trim)), but He Xuan doesn't blink at it, focused on the writing in front of him.

Wei Ying knows that Hua Cheng, at least, is centuries old, but he seems to blend into society easily - he himself has said that he's good at finding tears in the Honmoon, wandering across the world through all of society's shifts and changes. However, He Xuan seems to act his age, radiating this sort of ancient vibe with every movement he makes, flicking through the pages of his notebook and sometimes just pausing to trail his fingers over the spiral holding it together. It's a little creepy, but pretty cool as well. Wei Ying wants him in the group, of course - especially as he begins quietly picking through the song lyrics, gaining a quick grasp of the composition and what Wei Ying is trying to go for with certain songs. It's undeniably nice to be able to talk to someone who has training and experience in this - even if it's from an entirely different time, things have been passed down through those generations that have never changed. Hua Cheng is noticeably smug at being able to find a new member, and has taken to taunting Mobei-Jun and Luo Binghe about how he's obviously the best member; demons seem to have a natural competitive streak, because this bugs them a lot.

[sillygoofyqueer]

Hi yes I'm so in love with you THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!!! OH MY GOD. THANK YOU! They're literally so awesome and I'm actually dead on the floor you killed me you killed me you KLLED ME I'M DEAD. Shen Yuan is the one voicing suspicions about the Mogui boys and meanwhile you have these guys so hyped up in the background. Wei Ying isn't making a lot of money (what is he doing for work? I'll touch on it eventually) but all of it goes towards his pseudo children and CVZ because it's his special hobby and he can claim it to be research for the Mogui boys! I still haven't gotten to how Luo Binghe becomes obsessed with Shen Yuan but we know that Hua Cheng is SO hyped for Xie Lian every time there's a concert or anything. I adore your designs for them as well, I love them so so much... AND THE JOKE, IT'S SO PERFECT. I think that Wei Ying would definitely make hats for both of them when the crow turned out to have an interest in them as well.

Also I love demon Lan Zhan. I will be making an AU about wholly demon Lan Zhan. It's going to happen. Also the marks over his forehead ribbon make me sick with delight and I love them so much.

little doodles for @sillygoofyqueer’s kpdh x MXTX au <3

Also demon LWJ because I thought it would sick as fuck if he had marks on his forehead where the ribbon would go.

[sillygoofyqueer]

Tumblr better watch out because they just deleted my reblog side blog for basically no reason I presume

[sillygoofyqueer]

I'm really bored and I want to talk about the KPDH x MXTX AU so...I'm going to talk about the AU. I mean, what else would I do in this situation lmfao. "I'm going to torment myself by not talking about it"? NO. KPDH X MXTX AU!!!! Okay so I have no idea what I was talking about last time but I want to talk about the other Mogui Boys. I know if I get into That One first, we won't hear about Mobei-Jun, so we're going to start off with him! Mobei-Jun is a demon, the only one who was actually borne to a demon and was raised as a demon - a noble one, at that - so he does not really care about humans or what they have to offer. Yes, he knows what cultivators are and why he should avoid them, but he doesn't need to concern himself with that when he does not leave the demon realm. He has no reason to, not after being lured out by his bastard of an uncle as a child and almost died were it not for a young boy with brown curls finding him curled up beneath a patch of green plants and going "uh oh, you're not supposed to be here." Next thing he knew, he had been led back to a tear in the Honmoon with the little boy saying "this stays between us, kay? Gege would kill me if he found out!" Mobei-Jun has always hoped that that boy's gege had not killed him, for that would be a worrying blood-debt to have to uphold. He's already bound by another debt that he still hasn't considered fulfilled.

After all, after he found himself stumbling back into the demon realm, a far too human boy found him moodily stomping around because he knew where he was, he just didn't know how to get back to his home!! Luo Binghe was easily swayed into helping him in exchange for his silence, and Mobei-Jun wasn't going to go around telling people that he had found the forgotten heir to the Demon Realm, so they made it work. Demons did not have 'friends', but humans did and, due to Luo Binghe being half-human, he proclaimed them to be friends after Mobei-Jun snuck back out to see him mere days after he had gotten back to his home. It was far too easy to slip out from the servants' watchful eyes, and Mobei-Jun had to ensure that Luo Binghe hadn't died before he could fulfil his debt to him by giving him food. Humans of any kind were far too easily attached, if anyone were to ask him. All this time later, Luo Binghe is finally calling in that life debt, and it requires him to sing and dance. Yes...that humiliation is surely more than enough to fulfil a debt, perhaps Luo Binghe is more demon than human after all.

I know I should talk about how the others react to him, but that can be done later. Right now, I'm talking about That One. He Xuan. BARK BARK BARK etc etc, let's GOOO. This takes place like six hundred years before the main timeline of events, back when people still believed in demons and cultivators, before they were worshipped as gods. He Sheng was always meant to be a cultivator. He was selected from a very young age due to the way qi seemed to naturally swirl around inside him, taken from his family with the promise that he would be taken to visit every month or so until he could go back and forth of his own accord. It's easier for him than others to get the hang of singing, and fighting, but he never makes a big deal out of it, always helping those who ask or need it. He's like a favourite of the sect he's been taken into, and it's easy for everyone to like him when he's rather humble about it all. However, nobody really likes him more than Shi Qingxuan - she and her brother joined the sect under mysterious circumstances, and yet they seemed to fit in quite well nonetheless - because she clung to him from the first moment they met.

Unlike Shi Wudu, who was quick to catch up to others his age in terms of cultivation, Shi Qingxuan struggled a little more with it. He Sheng tried to help her along the best he could, but she didn't seem to worry about it too much, and so he didn't either! They were close to one another, and he felt seen enough to tell her about his frequent-as-can-be visits to his family when he wouldn't tell anyone else about it, and she whispered to him that she was a boy, but she didn't mind being a girl. That she was cursed by a demon, one that fed on her fears and caused constant misfortune. He promised that he liked her anyway, and that he wouldn't let the demon hurt her if it came looking for her, and she promised that she'd go with him to meet his family one day, and that she'd teach his sister how to braid because he wasn't that good at it. While she and He Sheng grew and bonded together, Shi Wudu worried about his meimei's cultivation. If she didn't manage to grow her cultivation enough, she wouldn't be able to become a proper demon hunter, and then eventually ascend with him, meaning she would be at the mercy of the demon that had cursed her.

When a voice came whispering in his mind, promising that it could help him ensure his sister's safety, he did not hesitate. He followed its every command, because it said that it was the best for everyone involved. Even as he performed the fate switching ritual between He Sheng and his meimei, it was because the voice whispered that He Sheng wasn't cut out for demon hunting anyway, that he would be better off with his family instead. Suddenly, Shi Qingxuan was getting very good at cultivating. Suddenly, He Sheng's family was falling into dire straits, and it got to the point where he left the sect so he could be with them and help out as much as possible. Shi Qingxuan was miserable, but Shi Wudu decided that it was just for the best. Meanwhile, things start rapidly going downhill in He Sheng's life. His family's business began failing, and what happened next is much like canon. His meimei was murdered and he was blamed for it, spending two years starving in prison before he was set free, to find his mama dead. The sect refused to talk to someone seen as a criminal, and Shi Wudu wouldn't let Shi Qingxuan reach out, because the voice told him that He Xuan did this to himself.

Things got worse. His mother died, and all businesses he started were sabotaged by rivals. Whisperings started up in his mind, telling him that he was useless and that his efforts were all for nought. Patterns began to etch themselves into his skin, every bit of self-hatred coalescing into hatred for the world. Everything was brought to a boiling point the night his baba died. Nobody could help him bury the body, not after he had been so scorned by some cultivators drinking in the establishment he went to ask for help in. He dug the grave himself, whispering becoming louder until he was struggling to hear himself think. The voices called him a monster, a demon, so why should he not be a monster, a demon? That night, he grabbed the first weapon he saw and went into the village, slaughtering everyone who had ever wronged him as he made his way through. We all know how this story ends, with a mere man succumbing to his exhaustion and injuries, resentment screaming out in his soul as he fell into the water below, as it opened its clutches to greet him like an old friend. The demon realm gained another citizen, but he went with a violent rage, a hunger so desperate that other demons avoided his territory. Until one demon didn't.

[sillygoofyqueer]

Caw caw.

You son of a bitch. I hope YOU get fucked.

[sillygoofyqueer]

Hi Foub! For the SJ adopts CrowYuan:

If A-Yuan has so many crow like tendencies, would SQQ get him amenities for crows? Like a perch, bird bath and whateverse else crows need. Or is he getting him more baby stuff? A mixture of the two? (This is merely an excuse to get you talking more about A-Yuan and SQQ's life together)

I bet Papa SQQ brings his son to class because he doesn't trust anyone with his babey.

Henlo Chablie! Thank yew for the ask, of course. Or well, it WAS a THANKS before you YELLED AT ME FOR NOT ANSWERING YOUR ASK. YEAH. CALLING YOU OUT. PUTTING YOU ON BLAST. YOU'RE LUCKY I'M ANSWERING THIS. (/silly) Anyway the literal moment that Shen Jiu is like "yeah this is my son now", he's carrying the baby with him all the way to An Ding to add a new section to the budget - Child Spending. A-Yuan is his baby, and will be spoiled ROTTEN because Shen Jiu never was and he was a fucked up child. Shang Qinghua hears boss music and just slides down beneath his desk because maybe if he hides, he can avoid the boss battle. Of course, that has never worked in games, why on earth would it work in real life? Shen Jiu comes storming in, reaches beneath the desk and drags Shang Qinghua out kicking and screaming to force him to deal with the situation he's bringing to him. Baby A-Yuan watches his new baba drag out this strange man and (quite intuitively) decides that this human is not scary because he's weak and pathetic and cries a lot. Plus, he has those demonic instincts ingrained in him so he sees the rough handling of the man and goes "ahhhh baba's got a boyfriend" because he's one smart little cookie!! Anyway, instead of listening to Shang Qinghua's stuttering greetings, Shen Jiu just places A-Yuan onto the desk and lets him stare at the man for a while.

Shang Qinghua can only stare at the baby for a few seconds before he becomes irreparably weak to him and he's like "fuck you're so right you should have so much more money, A-Jiu." After a bonk on the head with a fan, Shen Jiu goes back to Qing Jing with a smug look in his eyes because yes, he very much knows how to get the budget working in his favour without having to go to stupid Yue Qingyuan! The moment this money is handed over to him, he is writing letters fucking everywhere. That random in-depth study session on crows really helps him out when it comes to buying things for his baby. He also thinks about everything that he ever wanted as a child, and buys all of that as well. Where is all the money coming from? Listen. LISTEN. Bai Zhan is basically a peak full of animals anyway, they don't need that much for the peak, not with Liu Qingge being paid in the adrenaline that comes from fighting and the children only accepting food and weapons as payment because honestly, Bai Zhan is filled with really weird as fuck kids - Liu Qingge really knows how to fucking pick them-

Also, Shen Jiu is obviously bringing A-Yuan everywhere he goes. Classes? Baby in his lap, chewing on his calligraphy brush and giving very good advice like 'ababa' and 'gah' and, of course, 'bleh'. (Sorry to that one disciple, who had to redo their work after the baby threw up on it.) When he's at a peak lord meeting? A-Yuan is yappering to himself like he's got his own meeting going on, doodling on a blank piece of paper with a very serious expression or cuddling into Shen Jiu, who looks like the smuggest motherfucker around because he has the cutest baby ever. Either that, or, inexplicably, he's wriggling around in Shang Qinghua's grasp, taking great delight in messing with all all of his perfectly organised documents for the meeting or even chewing on the papers. Or the man himself. Shen Jiu still looks smug, and Yue Qingyuan looks like he's going to have an aneurysm with every second that passes. If Shen Jiu needs to go on a mission? There's a BABY ON BOARD, and ANY DEMON AROUND SHOULD RESPECT THAT. (They do lmfao. They see the baby and they're like "shit, that's a baby on board. Let's not attack the green one, he's a MOTHER AND HE'S JUST HAD A BABY. ONE WITH WINGS.")

[sillygoofyqueer]

Caw caw

Say that to my fucking face.

[sillygoofyqueer]

I know it's a bit away but will CVZ have a takedown moment? Like the Demon boys are very diffirent from the salad boys so the only one who I can maybe see doing that (given the right motivation) is LBH.

It's just that the angst is so good I'm curious to see if you use it!

First of all, I know it was probably autocorrect but I very much did cackle at the "salad boys" thing. They form together to make a particularly colourful salad like power rangers, and I will accept no other interpretation of such a thing <3 NEXT!!! 'Takedown'. Okay so obviously, in canon, that's like the demons fucking around with Rumi and also making it look like the idol group is breaking up. THIS won't be happening in my AU, because the Mogui Boys (yes, that's their name<3) have no reason to attack CVZ. Plus, CVZ as a whole likely wouldn't make a song like this at all. Honestly, Lan Zhan's lucked out with his group because Shen Yuan is fascinated by demons (like in canon) and Xie Lian literally fell from grace because he was a lot more sympathetic towards demons than people liked, and he still holds those beliefs. Lan Zhan knows that if he were to tell his friends about this, they would be very chill about it all, and like the only thing stopping him is the fact that he has been raised with Lan Qiren saying that he shouldn't tell anyone for his own safety. To be clear here, Lan Qiren is NOT like Celine in that he's not trying to suppress his nephew's demon sides (because it's my AU and I like grumpy but supportive uncle), but the Lan Clan as a whole is very stuck in their ways about hating demons (as previously mentioned).

HOWEVER HOWEVER. The song, 'Takedown'? Well, just because CVZ wouldn't make a song like this, doesn't mean another group wouldn't! And sliding in comes the Venerated Triad!!! Lan Zhan may be surrounded by rather progressive individuals who wouldn't care if Lan Zhan turned out to be half demon, but Lan Huan's group is uhhhh. Okay so Nie Huang, AKA Nie Mingjue, and Meng Yao, AKA Jin Guangyao, make up the Venerated Triad with Lan Huan, AKA Lan Xichen. The Nies? Hate evil and, therefore, demons, with all their might. The Jins? I mean, they certainly act like they hate demons and evil, and Meng Yao is trying to get his father's approval, so showing no mercy to demons is necessary. Lan Huan is very aware of this and is like 'ohhh...they would not like to find out I'm half demon.' The Mogui boys come along, and (especially with Yu Ziyuan spilling everything about Wei Ying) it's very clear that they are demons, and everyone thinks that they're trying to steal the fans of cultivator groups. SO, Meng Yao's like "I think we should make a callout song" and Nie Huang is like "that may be the first thing you've said that I agree with."

Lan Huan can't exactly oppose them without suspicion being cast his way, so he can only really go "haha yeah that sounds like An Idea." There is no 'Takedown' moment, because the song itself is the angst. Lan Huan has to go through this whole song about how evil and unfeeling and ugly demons truly are, all the while knowing that he's half-demon and that his friends would (to his knowledge) never accept him for what he is. Not only that, but his precious didi is also half-demon, and always goes to his shows, meaning that he has to listen to this visceral hate being spewed out to millions. He can't oppose the song like Rumi does, because he's always the pacifier, the mediator. Trying to oppose the song that, to his friends, makes perfect sense to perform (and it's not even for the idol awards or making the Honmoon golden, which is not important to my plot) as like a way to 'warn' the fans and make them stop paying attention to the Mogui Boys would cause so many issues. He hates making issues. Plus, A-Yao and A-Huang are finally willingly doing something together to make the song. It's best to just do the song and hope that they're content with it afterwards, so that they don't have to make more songs like it.

[sillygoofyqueer]

For the SJ adopts baby crowyuan, after they inevitably make it back to the peak. Crowyuan is surrounded by shiny martial siblings and SJ is like nah you can’t have him he’s mine. Crowyuan naturally has the love me beam though and he gets little gifts in turn. Maybe LBH is one of these mysterious gifters?

Hrrrmmmm honestly when it comes to AUs like this - baby demonyuan with a parental figure, I don't add in any ships lmfao. I just think "hrrrrmmm father and son bond and grow and love one another." Like obviously, people like to gift Crowyuan things, but he does not trust anyone but Shen Jiu. The only other non-demon he's ever met literally tried to kill him, and even later on, when he's growing up, he's still like "honestly they're all a bit sketchy and I like to stay on Qing Jing - thank god Baba doesn't like those other guys!" But it's time, time for the next instalment of SJ ADOPTS BABY CROWYUAN! Okay so, after very calmly beating the shit out of Liu Qingge with very loud "WHAT IN THE ABYSS IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"s and "YOU'RE SO LUCKY THAT THERE'S A CHILD HERE OR YOU WOULD BE DEAD!!"s, he scoops the little crow demon up into his arms and takes himself back to Cang Qiong with a moody Liu Qingge beside him. Everyone's pretending to be happy and pleased to have him back, but all he cares about is making sure the baby (his baby) is healed as soon as possible. Mu Qingfang says "oh, this is a demon, I don't know if they work in the same way humans do," but very quickly backtracks because Shen Jiu is still smeared with Liu Qingge's blood and he looks very frustrated. It's best to just try his best and be very careful when it comes to the more demonic aspects of the child, especially that damaged wing - damn it, Liu-shixiong, you're so violent!! There's another issue though, and that's the fact that this demon baby is very much unwilling to part from Shen-shixiong. The moment the man (reluctantly) tries to put him down, he's bawling his little heart out, clinging on tightly and burying his head into the man's shoulder.

Somehow, Mu Qingfang manages to work around this and eventually bandages up the little demon, all while the baby is clinging to Shen-shixiong and barely making a sound, and then only just manages to get his recovery plan out before the man is absconding his way back to Qing Jing. There, Shen Jiu goes into the Bamboo House and realises that there is nowhere to keep a baby in this place. He could clear out the room for the Head Disciple but he also doesn't want to leave the baby alone - and he can't keep just referring to it as 'baby'. He looks down at said baby and finds him already staring back up at him, those big brown eyes so trusting and sincere in a way that he hasn't seen in a long time. "You look like an A-Yuan." Are, for some reason, the words coming out of his mouth, and the baby goes "ahb!", which he assumes is an assent. A-Yuan needs a place to stay and, despite never letting anyone into his room, he inexplicably decides that this is the safest place for A-Yuan to heal, so decides to take him into there. Unlike before, the baby is much more willing to let him go, instead burying his tiny fingers into the blankets that are-were neatly laid over the bed.

Shen Jiu doesn't really want to leave him, so he goes about grabbing a desk and moving it into his bedroom so he can catch up on work in there - listen, he's not giving his 'martial siblings' any chance to think him any more inferior. However, he gets back into his room and finds that A-Yuan has bunched up the blankets into a similar pattern that he had with the sticks whenever he brought them over before. He had noted early on that A-Yuan's wings seemed to be like a crow's, so it's rather easy to parse out the fact that this is a nest. A-Yuan has made a nest on his bed. And now he's looking at him as if expectant for praise. Shen Jiu does not give out praise; it is a pathetic thing that people require to feel good about themselves, when any person who was really good at what they did did not need such things to feel good about themselves. However, it is, from what Shen Jiu can tell, a very good nest, and A-Yuan is just a baby who likely hasn't made many nests. He awkwardly reaches out and places his hand atop A-Yuan's fluffy, feathery hair (the feeling not actual feathers), which is enough for the small demon's feathers to fluff up a little as he grins up at him. Oh, Shen Jiu's baby is the cutest thing ever.

[sillygoofyqueer]

I'm just imagining baby Crowyuan and Shen Jiu as the "He asked for NO pickles." Meme.

This works either way and that makes it all of the better, I love it so fucking much.

Like, you obviously get the big scary cultivator known for mocking the shit out of everyone with visceral insults that leave even the strongest cultivators crying, coming up to the counter, holding a littol baybee. He doesn't look very threatening, on account of the littol baybee demon clutching to him and staring at you with big brown eyes, but then you look him in the eyes. And they are so hate-filled that you are already moving to crouch behind the counter as he says, mock-calm, "He specifically asked for no pickles." All you can do is start praying for the poor person who made that burger because ohhh shit that dude is so fucked. You hold back tears as you say "hey, we can make him a new one!" and he looks at you as though you have shot his littol baybee. He wants blood, and you can only hope that it's not yours.

Then you've got the other side of the coin. You're serving at the counter, and you hear a tiny little "Eh!!" You look down and you find a tiny littol baybee staring up at you, definitely a demon of some sort, and he doesn't look particularly scary but also he is not blinking. Then he very carefully reaches up, clutching something within his hand, and quietly deposits what seems to be sauce-covered pickles onto the counter. His hand is grimy with the sauce and it smears over the white counter as he places it, along side his other one, onto it, then continues to stare at you. In the background, Shen Jiu is glaring at you from where he is sat with two kids meal boxes, a deconstructed burger in front of him, and the message is very clear. The baby is judging you for your terrible mistake, and that's so much worse than verbal slaughter.

[sillygoofyqueer]

C- Crow- *coughs dramatically like an extremely dehydrated and malnourished homeless man* Any crowyuan thoughts lately? *Keels over and dies*

(Sorry if I come off as pressuring and/or rude.. I just miss the bird boy.)

Don't apologise!! This is Tumblr, I'm most known for Crowyuan, people are gonna want Crowyuan stuffs! I have a backlog of Crowyuan asks because I always have a backlog of Crowyuan asks lmfao. For precious babygirl Anon, I will go about answering them *checks notes* 'sooooon'??? What the fuck kinda note is that? I really gotta learn how to make proper notes, Jebsus Chrbist.

That's right lads, Crowyuan resurgence to be found very soon!!! Keep an eye out 😈

[sillygoofyqueer]

heyyyyyyyy whhats uppppp its meeeeeee

so,four-y boo, youve not been the only one slaving away writing aus...

(un-betad,yet, she wants to kill me for all the mistakes though)

You know, I've never watched The Good Place, but this reads as sick as hell!! Zewu-Jun is automatically my favourite I love him.

[sillygoofyqueer]

It's time for the Dog Therapy AU (also @eyalsfantasy's birthday AU) and this one was supposed to be a general overview of the ending but then I got entirely off-track so drunk Wei Ying?!?!? Okay so, Wei Ying had a major issue with the dog- Bichen in his last therapy session, and it's got him feeling pretty hopeless. Like, like he's never going to get over his cynophobia and Jiang Cheng will never be allowed to get a damn dog or anything because of it. He's so fucking weak, and he hates it, but he just cannot even think about getting near a dog without getting all panicky and scared. He, of course, gets drunk over this horrible, horrible thought process, and basically messages Lan Zhan all about it while drunk. Lan Zhan, impossibly, responds, despite the fact that it's probably past his bedtime (one that he was told about during general conversation that always slipped into therapy), and asks him if he's alone right now. Of course he is, why on earth would he let anyone else see him like this? Next thing he knows, his therapist is asking for his address, and he's inexplicably giving it without a second thought, suddenly hit with this painful pang of loneliness that he would do anything to get rid of. So, when there's a loud buzzing that lets him know that someone wants in, he drags himself off his couch and buzzes them up, before unlocking the door.

By the time he's dropped back down onto the couch, there's a knock on the door and he slurs out an 'it's open' between very generous swigs of the bottle of wine he's drinking from, others littered around the room. Lan Zhan steps in, and Wei Ying pulls a face as he drags his eyes around his measly little apartment, messy and cluttered from everything he decided was 'necessary' to keep. The man's probably never seen anything so dirty before, how depressing that Lan Zhan's first (and probably only) look of his living space is this shithole. He probably voices this, maybe not, but Lan Zhan is by his side the next moment, taking the bottle without any sort of struggle from him aside from a sound of complaint and then gently shifts him into a sitting position. This is apparently a struggle for him because he is making himself very comfortable slumped in the man's arms, unable to lift his head up enough to take a closer look at the man's expression, so he can only groan and rest his face against Lan Zhan's shoulder. Lan Zhan's mouth is moving and he's definitely saying something, but all he can hear is a low buzzing that's blocking out everything else.

Next thing he really remembers is being fed something or other as he cries about how useless he is when it comes to dogs, and how it's all just another reason why Madam Yu has hated him since he was a kid. Lan Zhan doesn't seem to like this sentiment, and Wei Ying can only giggle at the furrow that appears between his brows, trying to smooth it out with his thumb despite how heavy his hand feels - it's been a while since he's been so drunk, but he was desperate to chase away the guilt and fear that crawled around inside his chest. Alcohol had always been his best friend when it came to processing things like this; he's not going to pester anyone he knows with such issues, that's just being a pest! Or, well, he wasn't supposed to. Next time he gets drunk, he's hiding his goddamn phone. Even if it does mean not being scooped up into firm, warm arms and carried into his room by the most beautiful man in the whole world. It doesn't matter if Lan Zhan hears him muttering about this, because it's only the truth. When he gets placed down onto his bed and handed some form of soft clothes that have likely been removed from his drawers, he's already pulling off his clothes before Lan Zhan has even left the room.

Meanwhile, Lan Zhan is internally scolding himself for even being here. Any good therapist would be able to keep some form of distance between themself and their patient, but he has come into a patient's home without even considering the repercussions of his actions! If his uncle could see him now, he would be appalled, and Lan Zhan is as well. However, when he hears a thud ring out from Wei Ying's bedroom (because he's seen where that is now), he immediately darts back into the room to find Wei Ying staring at a fallen lamp as though it has offended him, halfway through pulling his sleep shirt on. He notices Lan Zhan and goes "wan't me." before tugging his shirt on properly and flopping backwards onto the bed. Lan Zhan picks up the lamp and places it back on what he can only assume is a nightstand while the other man stares at the ceiling and comments on it like he's watching the stars in the sky - looking up shows that there's actually glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the ceiling. This is far too endearing for Lan Zhan, and he can only carefully tuck Wei Ying into bed before stepping out of the room and pondering what the hell he's supposed to do now.

[sillygoofyqueer]

Next up on the schedule: mad scientist Wei Wuxian AU, but if he went to the Cloud Recesses lectures!!! I'm a huge sucker for this kinda shit, disciple era is always so silly to me. All of the Lans appear to be very hesitant around Wei Ying and his siblings, which is something that sort of baffles him until Wen Qing tells him that the other sects are often wary around the Wen. Well, that makes complete sense! The Wen Sect is the only non-fucked up sect around, of course these messed up clans don't know how to act around important disciples of such an illustrious sect. When this becomes clear to him, he doesn't feel it necessary to chat with any of them, just hanging out with Wen Ning and Wen Qing in their rooms while he waits for dinner time to be called, joking about how he might actually be able to keep these white robes clean with the lack of experiments. They look at him sceptically, which is more than fair because a lack of dead bodies and relatively strong wards keeping out resentful energy are two things that won't stop him from fucking with the stuff for too long. It's just a matter of time until he's got those wards figured out, then he can figure out how to get past them or fuck with them - just a little! Wen Qing sees the calculating in his eyes and throws a shoe at him, telling him to just stop thinking while they're there.

At first, he legitimately tries to do this, scribbling away a letter for Xue Yang and catching up on some notes he was supposed to make on the boat ride over before he got distracted thinking up a new talisman. This works well all the way up until the signal for dinner echoes to the rooms they've been put up in and Wei Ying gets his first glimpse of the other clan disciples that are going to be joining them for the lectures. Or, well, it could be described as them getting their first glimpse of him, with how they stop and openly gawk at him as he passes with his siblings on either side, unable to look away - it's like they've never seen someone like him before. 'They probably haven't,' he thinks smugly, because nobody has done what he has before; Wen Ruohan has told him so. He's creating things that these fucked up sects couldn't even dream of, and he's been doing it since he could process thoughts in a meaningful way. He holds his head high, continuing to ramble on to Wen Ning about his plans for this time in the Cloud Recesses; to summarise, the library is going to become his bestest friend, with the training grounds coming in a close second.

Being unable to talk in the dining hall is like Wei Ying's worst nightmare, the awkward silence settling over him like a weight upon his shoulders. However, he has had many-a dinners with Wen Ruohan where being still and respectful in body language despite his rambling is key as to not piss him the fuck off, so he forces himself to deal with the discomfort and eat the absolutely shit meal that has been served to them. He's never been one to say no to food, but this...this rabbit food that he's going to have to eat for far too long has him bemoaning everything to his siblings as they leave the dining hall. How is he supposed to survive with this stuff?! So bland, so depressing!! He throws his arms over Wen Ning's shoulders from behind, letting himself be dragged along by the lovingly exasperated boy while the actually exasperated Wen Qing tells him he's being 'fucking stupid', and that he's 'eaten much worse before'. And like, yes, he has done that, but also, that was of his own will, thank you very much!! This is basically torture, these mind games are literally insane (and he may or may not be taking note of them. Just in case). People throw looks his way on the way back, but he just smiles with all of his teeth.

The next day, all he can think about is the excitement that comes with potentially learning something new, lunging around the room despite the early hour (hey, he sometimes doesn't sleep, this is good for him!) so that he's prepared for the knowledge he's going to learn. He gets more things thrown at him, this time from both of his siblings, as his cluttering about wakes them up despite their efforts to stay asleep until the last possible moment, but he doesn't even care! The Lan are renowned for their knowledge, he can't wait to see what they've got planned, even if it means suffering through shitty food for breakfast. Wen Ruohan said that he wasn't allowed to talk about any of his alternative methods of cultivating or dealing with spirits in lectures, so he's going to be working entirely through 'normal' (boooring) cultivation to deal with any problems that might be thrown at them! He's so hyped!! When he flounces into the classroom, ahead of the other clans because they're so slow and still so tired despite ample time to get up and ready, he is hit with what may be the most beautiful boy he has ever seen in his life. He freezes, and only Wen Qing shoving him forwards gets him moving again.

He drops down beside the Beautiful Boy, who can only be a Lan judging by the forehead ribbon adorning his head, and grins at him when he notices pretty gold eyes shifting slightly to look at him. Wen Qing drops to sit in front of him, and Wen Ning sits beside him, but all he can focus on is the Beautiful Boy who seems to be trying to pretend he doesn't exist. Jokes on him, that would never stop him! "Hey," he whispers, even though the other guest disciples are still filling up the room and nothing has started, "I'm Wei Ying!" Beautiful Boy is still trying to ignore him, but that doesn't matter. "Has anyone told you that you're possibly the most beautiful man to exist ever?" Wen Ning chokes on air beside him, and Wen Qing lets out a long sigh, but Beautiful Boy is staring at him like he's lost his mind. "Oh my god...they haven't?? But you're so pretty!" Beautiful Boy's ears are getting redder by the second, and Wei Ying is in awe of him. Before he can say anything else, the room (now filled with disciples) goes quiet as Lan Qiren enters the room like he is a god amongst men. Wei Ying can always respect a powerful entrance, even as he wonders how much blood the man has spilled to uphold his sect's strange rules.

[sillygoofyqueer]

HI??? Congrats for 600 followers! I did not expect to be your 600th BAHAHDES as for an AU suggestion maybeee??? Winged/bird hybrid AU MDZS? C:

HIHIHI!!! Thank you for being my 600th follower! I now have six hundred people, meaning I can take them all to go fight in Troy and then try and go home after winning, instead getting lost in increasingly fucked up ways and losing all of my men after sacrificing them so I can go home to my wives and children. I mean. Winged MDZS AU, let's go!! Right off the bat, I need to figure out what kind of vibe I want to go for with the bird gang. Like, what kind of bird people are they going to be? After some careful checking, there's no sort of Ancient Chinese avian-humanoids (aside from birds with human faces which is not the vibe I think anyone's going for lmfao), so we're going to have to be a bit more general with this. I'm going to stick with just the usual winged people, but of course there'll be a few bird features that I'll decide on along the way! Typical patches of feathers along the skin and bird eyes and such. Instead of dealing with just general birds, I'm going to do something stupid and focus on Chinese birds only because I guess I hate myself?? So much research and there's over 1,300 bird species....I CAN FUCKEN DO THIS, FOR LUCKY NEW FOLLOWER!!! I'll be focusing on the species for now, but I'll make a separate post about lore <3

Okay so, with the much appreciated help from a few of my beloved wives, we've got a couple of Chinese bird species going on here!! Some (most) are like entirely vibes based, because Jesus Christ there are so many birds hanging around. There is one that is NOT (just) vibes based though, and that is Wei Wuxian!!! I have decided that he will be a Pied Kingfisher, both due to vibes and because of its general behaviour. From what I've gotten from research, this is a bird that's very speedy and what could be considered 'fidgety' - bobbing its head a lot, flicking its tail up and down, and can hang around rivers n shit! Iconic behaviour, and perfect for Wei Wuxian. Now, I haven't decided the plot just yet, but I'm not certain I want to stick to just canon plotline for this, so you're getting a whole different plotline (well, not entirely different, lmfao).

Okay, then we've got clans. The Lan are gonna be Oriental Turtle Doves because they're elegant and cute and have you seen those wings? Refined but elegant. Why the hell can't they be hehehe. Next, the Jin, the Jin are Great Bustards. Please read that correctly - BUSTards - and let me tell you that these birds look so fucking smug. They just want to be peacocks and you can tell that they want to be peacocks soooo fucking bad - also, their name does allow for Wei Wuxian's mockery, so that's a win. Then the Nie, who are gonna be Golden Eagles because these are (according to my First Wife) one of the oldest tamed prey birds, which fits them so well, and they're working birds, which fits the idea of Nie originally being butchers! Nie Huaisang, who has a different mother, is gonna be a Sparrowhawk. The Jiang are gonna be Mandarin Ducks. Just. Because. Yeah. FINALLY, the Qishan Wen are Greater Coucals because like, they just fucken scream Wen to me. Also, they're cuckoos, and they're vil.

Dafan Wen are also cuckoos, but they're Chestnut-Winged Cuckoos because they don't look like they would kill you like Greater Coucals do lmfao. Mo Xuanyu is a Great Eared Nightjar, because one of my wives said so and I love my wife so I trust them implicitly about this. Also, they look cute lmfao!!! Nie Huaisang, who has a different mother, is gonna be a Sparrowhawk. Much fucking smaller than Golden Eagles, but still a possible threat. Yu Ziyuan, a member of the Yu Clan, is a Barnacle Goose because geese are fucking MEAN, okay, and Yu Ziyuan is mean as well. Yes, this does mean that Madam Jin is also a Barnacle Goose <3. We're not stopping there though, because Xue Yang is a Cinereous Vulture - First Wife wanted him to be a type of crow (that doesn't eat dead things), but I was like "Xue Yang would eat dead things," so boom! Vulture. A-Qing is an Asian Palm Swift, Song Lan is Great-Billed Heron, and Xiao Xingchen is a Demioselle Crane.

Okay so like this is just the technical part, and it's like "Four why did you go through all of this effort for wings" HEY. I'LL BE USING OTHER CHARACTERISTICS!!! But uh...uhhh. Silence the fuck up. PLOT WILL COME SOON I PROMMY.

[sillygoofyqueer]

To my surprise, the AU post of the day is Hanguang-Jun Goes To The Future AU!!!! (also known as @lyngracetalksnwritesnstuff's birthday present AU.) I'm almost certain that this is because of the winky face etc etc but who cares? It's been a fucking while!!! Nie Mingjue is weak to his husband's whims, no matter how strange they may be. He knew it right from the start, and A-Huan learned it in due time (likely because A-sang was slandering him for it in front of him on that one occasion). This is why, when A-Huan comes home with a stranger who he states to be a Lan from the past, he does not question it and just goes to bed - his darling husband could deal with it himself! Plus, working night shifts at that damn facility was enough to make anyone exhausted; why did so many people see barbed wire and a shiny "DO NOT ENTER" sign and think that it was a good idea to completely disregard the clear warnings put in place? Fucking morons. A-Huan said it was no good for his already delicate blood pressure, but he never felt calmer than when he was tackling someone to the ground and pinning their hands behind their back. It was like meditating to him. Plus, it makes him just pleasantly tired enough to easily pass out when his head hit the pillow, hopefully not to be woken for at least a few hours.

Life is never good for Nie Mingjue, because at some random point later, he's being awoken by the sound of his phone going off, meaning that either A-Huan or A-Sang (on his emergency number, not his normal one) is messaging him. Considering the situation, he assumes that it's A-Huan and reaches over blindly to grab out for his phone on the nightstand, trying not to glare at it as he reads through the message. He loves his A-Huan and his need to help anyone in his family, but he just wants to sleep at this present moment, and he doesn't even care who enters his apartment when he's this tired. Let Lan Qiren's favourite student come over and learn Past Lan's language, let him blow up the damn apartment for all he cares, he just wants to sleep. Of course, that's until he learns that this guy (Wei Ying, whose name does sound familiar) has kids, who will be joining them at the apartment because of whatever reason. He doesn't care the reason, he just finds himself dragging himself out of bed to go find suitable snacks for children because kids are cute and lively and they were so much more entertaining to talk to than people his age.

By the time people are entering the apartment, he's got a whole spread of food out and ready because he remembered that adults also needed to eat, and he's chugging the strongest coffee he can make using that baffling machine that A-Huan insisted on. A-Huan isn't surprised by the sight of him, giving him a peck on the cheek before immediately darting back out of the door, leaving him staring at two young men and two children. He suddenly remembers who Wei Ying is, having flashbacks to when A-Sang was in high school and wrinkling his nose at the memories that come with it, and is surprised to see that he has kids now. One of them is clutched in his arms, chewing on that familiar ratty red ribbon, and the other one is hiding behind him, peeking out with a mixture of hesitance and awe. Wei Ying greets him with a chirp of "hey Jue-ge! Thanks for letting us hang here!" and it's like he's been hit with a truck of nostalgia that he gets across with a clearing of his throat as he gruffly nods and gestures to the snacks without a word, turning to eye up Past Lan, whose name he has forgotten. Past Lan stares right back at him, bowing his head slightly, and he offers the same response.

That out of the way, it isn't long until Wei Ying's notes are sprawled over the coffee table and he's babbling away to Lan Zhan about something or other - Nie Mingjue never cared about such things in school, so this didn't interest him at all. He, instead, has been placed on babysitting duty, holding a toddler in one arm and lifting up the kid clinging to his other arm, much to the delight of the child in question. Kids are so easy to entertain when one is strong and muscular, because they just want to be picked up and be flung around like limp dolls. They don't have the survival instinct that's supposed to save them from danger, and he's well adapted to dealing with people like that (suspicious look in Wei Ying's direction here). Honestly, he's pretty sure that the man wouldn't mind his kids getting tossed up and down, and even if he did, he's too busy rambling to Lan Zhan and squealing when Lan Zhan can respond to him in that strange, ancient language of his. The way that Lan Zhan is looking at Wei Ying is both sweet and sets off the (what A-Sang likes to label as) 'Da-ge' instincts in his brain. Listen, Wei Ying was around a lot as a kid, it's hard not to treat him similarly to A-Sang, goddamn it! So, if he does send a few warning glances towards Lan Zhan, that's for him to know (and Lan Zhan, who looks suitably sheepish).