singingsunshine

[singingsunshine]

how do we tell our parents that we aren't alright?

[singingsunshine]

Struggle(s)

It's sometimes a struggle to get up from bed on dull, unwanted mornings.

It's sometimes a struggle to exit the bathroom on cold, lonely weathers.

It's sometimes a struggle to act "normally" on normal, exhausting days.

We do get up from bed. We do exit the bathroom. We act.

[singingsunshine]

#WeStandWithTaylor

For years I asked, pleaded for a chance to own my work. Instead I was given an opportunity to sign back up to Big Machine Records and ‘earn’ one album back at a time, one for every new one I turned in. I walked away because I knew once I signed that contract, Scott Borchetta would sell the label, thereby selling me and my future. I had to make the excruciating choice to leave behind my past. Music I wrote on my bedroom floor and videos I dreamed up and paid for from the money I earned playing in bars, then clubs, then arenas, then stadiums. 

Some fun facts about today’s news: I learned about Scooter Braun’s purchase of my masters as it was announced to the world. All I could think about was the incessant, manipulative bullying I’ve received at his hands for years. 

Like when Kim Kardashian orchestrated an illegally recorded snippet of a phone call to be leaked and then Scooter got his two clients together to bully me online about it. (See photo) Or when his client, Kanye West, organized a revenge porn music video which strips my body naked. Now Scooter has stripped me of my life’s work, that I wasn’t given an opportunity to buy. Essentially, my musical legacy is about to lie in the hands of someone who tried to dismantle it.

This is my worst case scenario. This is what happens when you sign a deal at fifteen to someone for whom the term ‘loyalty’ is clearly just a contractual concept. And when that man says ‘Music has value’, he means its value is beholden to men who had no part in creating it. 

When I left my masters in Scott’s hands, I made peace with the fact that eventually he would sell them. Never in my worst nightmares did I imagine the buyer would be Scooter. Any time Scott Borchetta has heard the words ‘Scooter Braun’ escape my lips, it was when I was either crying or trying not to. He knew what he was doing; they both did. Controlling a woman who didn’t want to be associated with them. In perpetuity. That means forever. 

Thankfully, I am now signed to a label that believes I should own anything I create. Thankfully, I left my past in Scott’s hands and not my future. And hopefully, young artists or kids with musical dreams will read this and learn about how to better protect themselves in a negotiation. You deserve to own the art you make.

I will always be proud of my past work. But for a healthier option, Lover will be out August 23. 

Sad and grossed out,

💔

Taylor

[singingsunshine]

sa paligid ng mga pader

sa kalsada ng kasaysayan

sa ilalim ng ilaw

hindi maipapangakong mananatali

kailangang umusad kahit kakaunti

hindi maaaring laging nakatali

may nabubuong lakas

may damdaming nagpupumiglas

may bulong na lumalakas

hindi maipagkakailang hindi pa rin tayo malaya

kahit pa sabihing ang mga pader ng Intramuros ay hindi nasira

[singingsunshine]

Malaya ka na.

[singingsunshine]

Patuloy na magiging mahusay nang may dangal. Patuloy na mag-aaral para sa pamilya't bayan. Patuloy na magsisikap para sa pangarap. Patuloy na susulong kahit mahirap.

Mananatiling responsable at hindi magpapakampante. Mananatiling mapagkumbaba at hindi manliliit ng kapwa.

Salamat sa mga tumulong at nakiisa. Sa mga nagpanatili ng ilaw sa mitsa. Sa Diyos na sinasamba. Sa pamilyang naka-alalay ang suporta.

Tuloy ang paghinga. Tuloy ang paghakbang. Tuloy ay paglusong. Tuloy ang pagsulat. Tuloy ang pagmulat. Tuloy ang pakikibaka.

#me #recognitionday #lpu #shs

[singingsunshine]

oh well

“I am hopelessly a lover, and a dreamer, and that will be the death of me.”

— Rupi Kaur (via rupikaurpoems)

[singingsunshine]

I have loved you before, and I will love you more.

[singingsunshine]

—then it rained

on a sunny morning

everybody's excited for the celebration

which I did not care about

'twas funny I guess

everybody's excited for the celebration

wine-sharing, bitches chatting, oldies dancing

'twas funny I guess

but i felt alone

wine-sharing, bitches chatting, oldies dancing

they seemed to care though

but i felt alone

and nobody dared to talk

they seemed to care though

I can tell it by looking at their eyes

and nobody dared to talk

I brought dark clouds, haven't I?

wine-sharing, bitches chatting, oldies dancing

which I did not care about

and nobody dared to talk

on a sunny morning

#pantoum #poem

[singingsunshine]

The night is again cold

Warmth is never felt since the day I can't remember

As the darkness starts to fill in

Shattered doubts, regrets, and memories are also trespassing

Again.

I feel so numb

I don't know why

This is not me, I am not myself

The pain of the past is not so busy, that's why it keeps on visiting me

This visitor of mine wears a plain, white dress

She brings a wooden frame with a blurred picture

But I can see a huge smile, a genuine one

It feels so familiar, yet I can't remember when did I see it.

Oh God, I am so sick of this visitor

Please take her away from my door

I am trying to fight each day

But when she comes back, everything turns to gray.

Her chains have never loose its hold

And never did release me

She always accompany me

That is why I have never felt genuinely happy

Her chains, I think, it's magical

It flashes a young girl, with high hopes and sparkly eyes

There's a sudden ache in my heart

She made me realize that I wasted an art;

I wasted "me".

My heart throbs fastly

My mind functions badly

My soul... oh, I can't find it!

"Why do you keep on coming back?", I asked with despair, screaming on top of my lungs, but tears dropped, and my eyes mourned.

Then there's this whisper,

"That's because you have never really loved yourself."

[singingsunshine]

Ang kagitingan ay taglay ng mga Pilipinong patuloy na lumalaban para sa mga mamamayan, at lalong higit, para sa bayan!

Ang tao ang bayan, ngayon ay lumalaban!

#ArawNgKagitingan #ChinaLayas #StopLumadKillings #StopKillingFarmers

[singingsunshine]

#ManilaEncounters

In the busy streets of Quiapo, children with sampaguitas in their hands run to you, asking you to buy it. While you get your wallet, the sampaguitas became chains that held the children back. You thought it was your imagination.

But they're owned by syndicates.

(image source: google.com)

[singingsunshine]

Bisita

Alas tres na

Andiyan na siya,

papapasukin ko ba siya?

Matagal tagal na din simula ng huli niya akong binisita

Tanda ko pa noong huli siyang pumunta,

Hindi ko kinaya

Halos pinili ko ng sumama sa kaniya

Ngayon, pagbibigyan ko ba siya?

Kung sakali mang siya'y mag-aya

Sasama na ba ako sakaniya

— Kalungkutan, ngayon na lang ulit tayo nagkita. At oh! Kasama mo din pala si Kamatayan.