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reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

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local crime son in his pretty pink dress

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A lesson in how to gird your loins.

via The Art of Manliness

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I just read the line “President Donald Trump also indicated that federal squads would likely target cities run by the party that opposes him” in a real-life news article and I’m just thinking about how people really thought Democrats were overreacting in 2016 and that we should “give him a chance”

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This American badger is literally grounding her misbehaving kid 

(via)

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x

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The “attention deficit” part of adhd is misleading imo because in my experience adhd is less “doesn’t have focus” and more “cannot control where the focus goes”

Forgot what you were doing because your brain zoomed way ahead and you were left scrambling to remember why you’re holding a dishtowel? Adhd

Looked up from your computer screen and realized you’ve been reading wikipedia articles about the mating habits of spiders for the past five hours and you haven’t eaten all day? Adhd

Can’t do the mildly intimidating task because every time you try to think about how to do it, your brain skitters away from the topic like a nervous mouse? Adhd

Didn’t do the dishes because you remembered them on the drive home but by the time you arrived you had already moved on to other topics? Adhd

Need to listen to a podcast while doing chores because neither task occupies enough of your attention to keep you engaged? Adhd

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My 13yo cousins made a stop at my farm on their way to visit their grandmother farther North, and I wondered if I should look at their social media the day before because today’s teenagers make me nervous and I don’t know what they’re into and how to entertain them. They arrived talking about obsolete currencies (of all things) and how the Aztecs used to pay with bird feathers filled with gold dust. They asked if they could go look at my coop to see if chicken feathers are big enough for them to cut the tip of the quill and put some dirt inside. Then they spent an hour very patiently approaching Pampe (she’s shy with strangers) to feed her their melon rinds and pet her. Now I feel silly for worrying; Today’s Teenagers just want to hug a young llama and make counterfeit Aztec money.

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the dk rap but it doesn’t stop at the end it just keeps going naming new kongs thay are increasingly obscure and scary until you get an absolute abomination kong

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I just remembered… I woke up in the middle of the night with a giant monster with a black body - i couldn’t see what the body shape was like - with a golden deer head and red eyes in the corner of the room staring at me. All I did was ask: “Why are you not handsome? Just for a change.” and went back to sleep.

It was probably sleep paralysis. It happens 4 times a month on average, I just ignore it and go back to sleep.

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if thomas nook put a barrier around the island to prevent you from swimming too far how the fuck do whale sharks get in

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The Booksellers (D.W. Young, 2019)