slimeydreamer

[slimeydreamer]

Had a dream where a company made a machine capable of talking to those in comas. But the company was Wawa, and all it told those in comas was that pumpkin spiced lattes were back.

[slimeydreamer]

Had a dream that I accidentally gave my entire family food poisoning. It was so life threatening, that my town's district attorney publicly expressed interest in arresting me for involuntary manslaughter if anyone in my family didn't survive.

Well, the good news is that they all did survive. The bad news is that I was forced to, out of my own pocket, to go to culinary school, because local law enforcement was terrified that I would accidentally poison the town. I ended up passing with flying colors, but during my final exam, my teacher choked on my calamari and died.

I was then legally not allowed near kitchens.

[slimeydreamer]

Had a dream where I went to Old Navy to buy some new pants. All was going well, until suddenly, an entire construction crew surrounded me and began to renovate the place. In a blink of an eye, Old Navy became "New Airforce", and everything was inspired by the US Military....and marketed for children.

When I expressed discontent for child soldiers to the manager, he just sighed, pulled out a grenade, said "Sorry Ma'am. Killing you is company policy" and proceeded to blow me up.

[slimeydreamer]

Had a dream where I found out through the grapevine that a lot of my students wanted to nominate me for some sort of award. I was really confused however, on account that, considering the school year had just started, there really wasn't any sort of awards available for winning.

So, I spoke to some of my coworkers about it, and they said it had to do with some TV show. This only further confused me. I ended up figuring that it was easier to just see what the surprise was than go crazy trying to figure out what it was myself.

Only...I never got an award.

The entire school year went by, and none of my students/coworkers had ever mentioned me receiving an award.

Finally, right before the school year was about to close for summer vacation, I found a shiny gold star on my classroom door. It read "#1 AT BEING PRANKED!"

...even in my dreams, my students don't respect me /j

[slimeydreamer]

Had a dream where I was given my new list of students for the upcoming 2025-2026 school year, and one of my kids was named "Skibidiah Alfredo".

[slimeydreamer]

Had a dream where I wrote a novel about a narcissistic woman, who is also an unreliable narrator. The book opens with her going through processing after stealing her ex's car. This is also how she meets her future husband...as he's her public defender. Immediately, she falls head over heels for the guy and manipulates him into dating her out after helping her win her case.

Well, she ended up pregnant and realized how awesome it was, because who doesn’t wanna marry a lawyer? But once she realized that public defenders didn't make that much money/her husband was a crazy catholic that wanted 13 kids, she immediately lost all interest in him and decided it would be cheaper to just kill him than divorce. She ended up succeeding in killing him (having made it look like a suicide), but then she realizes that she can't afford to raise a baby on her own.

This is where the book takes a dark turn...she ended up dumping her baby in the woods. She reasoned that since it was a home birth, no documents could trace the baby back to her. So, the book ends with her ditching the baby and driving off into the sunset, assumably to start a new life.

People HATED my book (for all the right reasons), but fame had gotten to my head, so I started attacking anybody who said that I was a bad author.

[slimeydreamer]

Had a dream where the biggest news story of the year was that a whistleblower for a huge candy company revealed that estrogen was the secret ingredient in all their candy. It also came out that it was such a strong amount, that it was almost preventing puberty in male children. There was a lot of controversy about the candy, and everything ended up having to be recalled.

About a month or two later, I ended up finding one of their candies in my junk drawer. I thought about it and figured I'd eat it. And I was right! It did nothing to me and was just great candy.

My dream then ended with me randomly telling my coworker about it the following day, and them getting all panicked that "Female 2.0s are the WORST kind of Woman!" before I just woke up.

[slimeydreamer]

Had a dream where I found out I was 0.2% Swedish, so got really into competitive adult yodeling competitions. Whenever I was free, I was yodeling something.

Eventually, I ended up overdoing it at one of my competitions and lost my voice for a few weeks. That's how I found out something startling...my CAT had picked up my yodeling and would start doing it at me! And it sounded just like a little kid yodeling!

I tried everything to get him to stop... I took him to a vet, to a human doctor, to my vocal coach, etc. Eventually, I trained him well enough to only do it around 6AM and 6PM and I pretty much gloated about it after that.

[slimeydreamer]

TRIGGER WARNING//PREGNANCY LOSS

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Had a dream where I was pregnant, but I lost the child. In my grief, I searched all over the world for someone capable of bringing back the dead. This is how I ended up meeting Victor Frankenstein. He said that he was looking for a corpse to test out his new machine, so it was a relief on his end that I'd be willingly handing him over a body. "How you got the body isn't any of my business, but if the police find out...well...then it's both of ours".

He then laid my child into his machine, and in a few moments, it zapped my son back to life! I was overjoyed, so I asked Victor Frankenstein if there was any way I could repay him for what he's done for me. Victor said that his only price was that I had to name my son after him and also let Victor test on him whenever he wanted.

For some reason?? I agreed to that?? So I started to call my son "Junior" and I would lie to him that Doctor Frankenstein was just his general doctor for 6-month checkups.

[slimeydreamer]

Had a dream where the latest big fashion trend was headphones. Fuzzy headphones, sleek headphones, a speaker that looked like a headphone, etc etc. It was like the 2013 Mustache trend all over again. Everywhere I looked were headphones!

[slimeydreamer]

Had a dream where I worked at Nickelodeon in the 90s. I was one of the first female showrunners to have a successful show (at that time). My cartoon was all about a gaggle of orphaned aliens who were trying to find the perfect family to adopt them. It was a relatively harmless show, practically just designed for selling toys.

Well, I ended up in hot water in'97' when I accidentally overheard talk about replacing me as show runner due to my crippling gambling addiction (don't ask because idk either). I kinda panicked, and my frustrations ended up reflecting in my work. Suddenly, I had a banned episode on my hands...

The plot of the episode was about the aliens' ship breaking down on a weird, dilapidated planet. Naturally, as the aliens typically did, they investigated the planet to see if it was a place they could live. Doing this made them meet "A'Quercus Suber," who was a Sudowoodo-like alien. She was an adult alien who seemed to rule the planet. But the way she talked, walked, and CARRIED A WHIP made her come off as very threatening. But to the wholesome orphan aliens being so pure, they can't see that at all and just want a mother to love them.

It later ends up being revealed that the reason A'Quercus Suber was being so rude/downright evil towards all the other aliens from the planet, was because they were all the former billionaires of the world/used up all the resources/dried up their money. So, A'Quercus Suber took up the role as their personal slave master to make sure that they all would be forced into re-planting every plant they killed. The alien kids end up leaving, the end.

This made headlines. I also lost my job and became a weird, washed-up miscellaneous background actor in "The Nanny" and other Nick shows, before eventually leaving to Laika.

[slimeydreamer]

Not a dream

A colleague posted or mayhap he himself AI generated an AI image of the Pope Francis meeting Jesus in Heaven where Jesus looks like the final boss and the Pope like god of war

This colleague is very religious so he didn’t do it ironically

[slimeydreamer]

Had a dream where I moved into a small apartment complex. I was sandwiched between a cranky old man who lived on my left and a weird guy who lived on my right.

I tried being a friendly neighbor, but neither guy was interested. Weird guy would brush me off whenever I passed him, and the old man would just yell at me about miscellaneous stuff (Ex, "TRASH DAY AIN'T TIL TUESDAY! GET YER SHIT BACK INSIDE").

Eventually, I came home from work one day to find old man's apartment was full of people dressed in black. I joked, "Oh, don't tell me he's hosting a funeral in his tiny apartment..." only to find out the old man DIED and it was HIS FUNERAL going on next door. I ended up attending, thinking I was just doing the morally right thing, but I ended up getting dragged over to talk to a weird man in a suit.

He introduced himself as the old man's lawyer and said that I was the main subject of his clients' will. I was all "Excuse me?" and the lawyer explained that the old man hated me SO MUCH that he set up America's first case of posthumous adoption. That way, as his daughter, I'd be forced to carry on the family legacy.

"He said it was something he wouldn't wish this upon anyone else. Have a nice day" Was all the lawyer said, when he handed me a HANDGUN FULL OF SILVER BULLETS. Turns out, "the family legacy" was VAMPIRE HUNTING.

I later ended up getting all sorts of records from the old man's lawyer. They were handwritten statements the old man made about local vampires, such as who I gotta keep an eye on, who I can trust and who I should just forget. The freakiest part to an already freaky day was finding out from the records that the weird guy that lived next to me was THE DEADLIEST VAMPIRE in all of America. And as the old man's adopted daughter, it was my task to kill the guy in my "Father's" name.

I. Was. So. Upset.

I ended up trying all sorts of ways to kill the weird guy next door (Ex, stake in the heart, silver bullets, etc), but nothing was working because the guy was just....somehow unaffected?? Eventually, he was somehow able to get ME cornered in our apartment's elevator. The last thing I remember was him looking at me, baring his sharp silver grillz, and telling me how he couldn't wait to drink my blood.

I then woke up.

[slimeydreamer]

Had a dream where my Mom dragged me to a pottery studio. She wanted to spend some time with me, so she signed us up for a week long art class.

We were supposed to make mugs together, but I got kinda carried away and made a matching tea cup and saucer set. I painted mine all pretty, with a white base and golden stripes. My mom's mug however, came out terrible...it had broken in the kiln, so she had to super glue everything together.

I decided to break my tea cup and saucer, and with all of our missing pieces, we combined them to make a Franken Mug. My Mom then put it in her desk to hold pens and pencils.

I kinda wanna call up my mom to do this irl now...

[slimeydreamer]

Had a dream where I worked at a hotel. My job was really simple, as all I really had to do was keep the place clean. Occasionally, I'd have to talk to customers, but my coworker "Brenda" (fake coworker my dream made up) was the one who typically handled all the customer service stuff.

Well, one day, Brenda didn't come in. I found out she put in her two weeks notice without telling anybody, so the day before was actually her last day. I had NO idea she was leaving, so I was extremely sad. I had gotten really close to Brenda. Anyway, my dream boss then told me that I shouldn't be sad, as I'd now be promoted to Brenda's job. I was not thrilled...

I felt really bored on the job. Far more than I did just as a cleaner. So, as a way to give myself some entertainment, I started randomly telling customers to beware of certain rooms because they were haunted. It helped that the hotel I worked at was really old and dilapidated.

This accidentally brought on a new problem: MORE customers. It seemed like everyday, I'd have to assist 12+ customers at a time because they all wanted "Haunted Rooms". I would also constantly get front desk calls from the customers, as they'd tell me all in a panic how they spotted a "real" ghost. At that point, I felt like I had to come clean to my boss.

Well, he took it WAYYY too well. He loved the boom in business, so he started hiring actors to pretend to be ghosts and do harmless pranks on the customers. So now here I was getting paid to lie and harrass all the customers while they slept. The only saving grace from everything was that none of the customers actually cared if the ghosts were real or not, they just liked the theatrics.

[slimeydreamer]

Had a micro dream, where I was watching TV, and the only thing the TV was playing was a static still image of a bowl of grapes. My eyes were glued to that image for so long that it permanently burned a grape mark on my TV screen.

[slimeydreamer]

Had a dream where YouTube created a new system for how to follow content creators. The idea was that you could "anti-subscribe" to a channel that you absolutely hated, so that the content creators could better see how liked/disliked they are by the internet.

This got REALLY out of hand fast, so within a few days, YouTube removed all traces of the anti-subscribe button.