some-guy-on-the-web

[some-guy-on-the-web]

Stan Lee as Street Evangelist

[some-guy-on-the-web]

Shibari

[some-guy-on-the-web]

The four footmen of the apocalypse were reluctant to change the lightbulb, they had to be four-horsed to do it.

[some-guy-on-the-web]

I love redheads so much I can't tell the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Saint Valentine's Day.

[Don't tell her I do it to take advantage of After-Valentine's-Day sales.]

[some-guy-on-the-web]

Momma Long Legs

The species of spider commonly known as "Daddy Long-Legs" is reputedly more venomous than the Black Widow, but it's not that bad, and they're more delicate and shy, so unless they're starving, they usually don't leave their webs except to mate. Living with them is not a problem. I've been living with a harem of sisters, they're usually very well behaved. Sometimes I feed them. You can catch mosquitos in your hand if you're quick, and if they bit you they're full of your blood and make a decent snack for a cute little spider girl who's hungry for your blood, but the girls will only eat prey that's still moving, so I have to catch the mosquitos very gently.

Like the Black Widow, not only are Long Legs venomous, they also live in the same ecosystems, and like the Black Widow they also build haphazard and tangled webs, though they prefer to live upside-down in high webs as opposed to right-side-up in webs close to the ground like the Black Widow. They may have evolved these separate nesting habits from being in competition.

But I digress, I'm actually writing this because the BIG "Daddy Long-Legs" are usually FEMALE, it's the females who are really the LONG Long Legs, not the daddies. My poor girls have been misgendered. So I'm asking everyone to start calling them "Long-Legs", or maybe even call the big ones Momma Long Legs.

[Update. Okay, honestly, I was only joking about calling them my harem. Once in a while, maybe if it's cold, one will crawl on me when I'm sleeping and I'll be like "Girl, please get off, I don't want to hurt you.". I would never date them because they drain their dates dry. So even calling the MALES "Daddy" Long Legs is a misnomer, because they don't stay daddies for long. Now, despite the fact that they sometimes drink my blood, were not dating, honest, we're just friendly neighbors. Vamps aren't my type, I prefer the girl next-door.]

[some-guy-on-the-web]

Time is Bullshit

Time does not work the way you think it does, because at the subatomic level the differences between matter and energy break down and everything becomes bullshit. That's why politicians have power, they are masters of bullshit, they're like bullshit herders summoning bullshit from other dimensions and telling it what to do, and then, inexplicably, it's done. This also explains how politicians can do so much while actually accomplishing so little. Four years in government is equivalent to one year in the real world. Time is money and money is fiat bullshit they create out of thin air. Time is bullshit.

[some-guy-on-the-web]

If you think the sexes are the same, then everyone is gay.

…but then you can't see straight.

[some-guy-on-the-web]

On the side of your finger, next to the fingernail, the skin pokes out a little. Humans evolved this trait to push the close ad button.

[some-guy-on-the-web]

The Best Conspiracy

The best people to conspire against are conspiracy deniers. They'll only deny it.

[some-guy-on-the-web]

Never trust anyone who tells you not to judge, they're only saying that because they are the worst.

[some-guy-on-the-web]

If you aren't liberal by 20 you have no heart, and if you aren't conservative by 30 you have no head, but if you aren't nonpartisan by 40 you have no balls.

[some-guy-on-the-web]

The more you know...

The more you know, the more you know what everyone needs to know but does not want to learn from you.

[some-guy-on-the-web]

Death to X/Twitter Censors

May the staff of X/Twitter die of various brain disorders.

[some-guy-on-the-web]

Left Wing / Right Wing

Left wing, right wing, same bird.

Tastes like chicken.

[some-guy-on-the-web]

How The World Works

The world will teach you alot of things nobody in their right mind would want to learn, and it will go way out of it's way to prevent you from learning the things you should really want to know.

To learn the important stuff, you have to take a gamble on some guy on the web ranting into the void.

So this is an example of how the world works.

Rummy lets slip the military misplaced trillions of dollars, BOOM, government accounting office blows up, evidence destroyed, BOOM, other government accounting office blows up, but nobody talks about the accounting offices, they talk about Muslims on the other side of the planet, chaos ensues, weapons of mass distraction, sheep start bleating, sock puppets, Lambchop, social media alter the trends, censorship, manipulation, coercion, if you don't do XYZ you are a terrorist and everyone hates you, big brother loves you, cattle get steered into pens, articles disappear, people disappear, black sites, torture, slow-burn soft-kill depopulation, keep calm and carry on, all's quiet on the farm again, pay your taxes, three bags full.

I'll presume that makes no sense to most people, but I'm not giving any of you any fucks, because most people on Tumblr masturbate to cartoon animals. Fuck you all and the fascist bastards who brainwashed you.

I swear everyone in corporate media should be summarily executed for running slavery rings.

Politics is basically the same thing as corporate media, but less frantic, because it's antiquated, originally designed to operate on country time. A country minute can be a few seconds or a few days.

Education is the same thing but more obviously sex slavery. Teachers molest more kids than even politicians or priests. Did you think schools have communal showers because government cares about public hygiene? Then why communal showers for kids but not the homeless? Because nobody wants to fuck the homeless.

Employment is the same thing but more obviously sex slavery. Everyone wants to be an actor and everyone knows what happens to actors. You may think jobs are supposed to accomplish things, but you're wrong, you're all given jobs to prevent you from doing anything important. Employers are baby-sitters, and sexual predators, same as education, politics, and corporate media. Humans are horrible creatures who treat eachother very badly.

Your life is a lie. You are a chump. You were created by a hyper-redundant system of slavery that drugged you into stupidity even before you were born. You were a slave since Day 1 in the womb. Your mother was raised on GMO. You have no idea how to be human. You don't know how to eat, you barely know how to breathe. You were raised like like a robot. Your food is a science experiment. Your education is a science experiment. Your entertainment is a science experiment. Project Paperclip. Operation Mockingbird. Echelon. Stellar Wind. The End.

You may now resume masturbating to cartoon animals.