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i bet cats think they look like really awesome panther beasts with huge claws in their minds. i bet theyre always like i look sooooooo bad ass right now when theyre walking around looking like this

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i hate this stupid fucking video my girlfriend keeps playing it when we’re sharing comfortable moments of silence and it’s ruined by this stupid fucking orange slut getting water boarded by toothpaste
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when u catch urself thinking wistfully about dating and being in love and being c*ddled and how nice that would be
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r/lies has been a bit of a warzone lately but this made me laugh out loud
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affirmations for when you have to send emails
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WHEN will THEY lose focus and have a consensual HOUSEHOLD relationship

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My man's thighs called awareness the way I'm. spreading them
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saw an ant on the bus today, what a horrible fate. moved an unfathomable distance from everything you've ever known because of forces you could never possibly understand. no matter how long you follow the pheromone trail you laid you'll never find your way home.
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