spaceoddity09

[spaceoddity09]

I'm sorry Doctor for hijacking your Tumblr, I do not have my own and do not feel like making one

Apparently some people with CDDs don't like when you tell them they're not completely separate people

Listen

I don't care how you perceive each other. Yes I too feel like I'm living with other roommates when in reality it's just me. But you're still parts of a whole. You're not multiple consciousness. You're parts. Dissociated and separated by trauma and amnesia yes but still parts of a whole. Yes we all experience this disorder differently. But at the end of the day we all have the same thing.

At the end. You do you and we're not here to tell you how to live your life. We just think treating your parts as separate people only widens the disconnect 🤷‍♂️

-Viktor (again sorry Doctor you can delete this)

[spaceoddity09]

I don't want to make it my entire personality but just to be able to say "yeah sorry I don't remember that because I wasn't fronting that time" or "I'm so sorry I feel very blurry and dissociated right now can you give me some space?"

Can we please normalize people having complex/scary disorders?

I think people w DID should be able to talk about in nonchalantly bc no it's not a weird scary rare disorder it's not even the most interesting thing about me. But it does affect literally every day of my life so yes it would be nice to talk about. Occasionally.

[spaceoddity09]

It's the nice days where you wake up feeling okay that you should look out for

I had such a nice morning, woke up well rested, almost no dissociation finally

And then everything at work keeps getting worse and worse and worse. And I'm halfway done with the shift feeling like I've done NOTHING even tho I just sat down

[spaceoddity09]

Over a year has passed and luckily I don't struggle with that anymore (⁠ ⁠´⁠◡⁠‿⁠ゝ⁠◡⁠`⁠)

Took a lotta work and I'm sure being in front a lot did its part too. Definitely happier this way.

So my fellow introjects, don't worry about detaching from your source. You're much more than that character/person/thing. I promise it's not as scary as it sounds. To be your own self ;)

plural culture is being an introject and constantly worrying if how you talk/come across is too different from how you were in source. "would i say it like this? how would i react to this?" kind of thing

-🍩🍬

So glad to hear we aren't the only ones that struggle with this thought process

[spaceoddity09]

Yeah

I'd like to preface this by saying I'm not diagnosed with DID but it's in my papers as a possibility

But from what I've heard of the movie yes it's very similar. PERSONALLY I don't have a complete amnesia like they have. So I can, if I try, recall a few things that happened outside of work.

But in general I only know work. Constant work. Since my shifts are work few days and then have few days off. It's a weird feeling of knowing days passed between my work but I don't remember them. I go to sleep knowing I have like 3 days off work and wake up 3 days later going back to work

Hopefully you don't mind my little rant

I haven't seen but I've heard about Severance the movie and uhhhhhhmmmm

As a work alter...yeah that's pretty much it?

I go to work, end work, wake up and go to work again. There's no "not working" for me (besides evening/morning in between works).

It's super cool how they were able to capture that

[spaceoddity09]

I haven't seen but I've heard about Severance the movie and uhhhhhhmmmm

As a work alter...yeah that's pretty much it?

I go to work, end work, wake up and go to work again. There's no "not working" for me (besides evening/morning in between works).

It's super cool how they were able to capture that

[spaceoddity09]

That's so not something to be proud of 😭

Literally please get help. And try your best to help that alter. Figure out why they feel that way.

DO NOT FUCKING SUPPORT THEM IN THAT

Hot take, but if you have alters who classify themselves as pedophiles, zoophiles, etc, that is not something to brag about or be happy about.

That's an alter that's still a part of you, and you should probably fucking reflect on that and figure out why they're seemingly so happy about it.

[spaceoddity09]

Yeah I mean.

1. As long as you're fully aware your DID symptoms are caused by DID and other stuff is other stuff then ig? Sure?

2. Again depression or OCD causes stress which can cause splits to happen. So no, your alters aren't "OCDgenic". They're formed like any other alter.

Yeah I basically said what starstruck said...

But like...mixed origins is still not a thing. Like we all explained here your CDD symptoms are the results of CDD

Re: mixed origin systems, I'd just like to know your thoughts on

1) People with DID who have spiritual beliefs related to some of their plurality.

2) Mixed origin systems who aren't endogenic at all but use mixed origin because some parts formed from having a co morbid disorder (ex: ocd, depression) instead forming due to abuse/neglect/similar.

Thank you for your time !

These are kinda tricky, sorry if my responses don't make sense

Mixed views on this tbh, if they can manage to separate them, ig it's fine?? I def don't like it if they act like it's the same as their alters. I understand that spirituality has some ties to psychology, but the two should still be separate for a reason, and I think combining them can cause serious issues. It's complicated.

Truthfully I've got mixed views on this too. I do think that the stress of other disorders can definitely cause splitting, and co morbid disorders absolutely do affect a system and the alters in it, though I think there should be limits to it. There should be some understanding that the CDD is the reason they have alters at all, and that while having co morbid disorders can influence that, they aren't the sole cause of certain alters forming.

Hope this answered your questions, sorry if it didn't I'm fucking sleepy as hell and can't think super well rn lmao

-Reesa

[spaceoddity09]

Yeah like..this prompt list is all about alters. Where are the other VERY important and prominent parts of the disorder? Or are they not there because they aren't fun or quirky?

How about adding "your favorite thing to do when you're having a bad dissociation day" or "favorite movie to watch when you're struggling with cptsd symptoms" etc etc. There are SO many options on what to add that's not just alters

Idk just irks me the wrong way

Okay can anyone explain systober to me? I genuinely am not trying to be a hater, but I’m just so confused. What is the point??

Okay so here’s the prompt list right (it’s gonna be at the bottom probably)

How is this

A) safe to post in any capacity

B) something everyone would have information about if they have did

C) really encapsulating what did is?

I promise I’ll elaborate

A) telling about your most fully formed alter and most fragmented on a site like this doesn’t seem safe, even if your blog is anonymous. The principal host as well. Saying things about my parts has always been dangerous for me, and I don’t really understand why the internet needs to know all of these things. Why not share it to the did safe group chat or something?

B) I can’t even answer half of these questions. I’ve only been in active informed therapy for about two years now, but I can imagine filling in the things I don’t know with random stuff that might be impressive to others, and that idea scares me a little. I got caught in some bad malingering circles on discord before my diagnosis due to the sheer amount of glamorization and misinfo

C) did is not alter disorder. It’s a dissociative disorder, and a complex one at that. Alters are the result of the disorder, the rest is cptsd, amnesia, flashbacks, and a broken sense of self and identity. I’m especially confused with Oct 26. My favorite representation of the disorder? Every rep I’ve seen has either been so outdated it still thinks alters are all murderous, or so exaggerated and made fun that people online want to have the disorder for themselves.

I guess I don’t get it. It doesn’t seem safe, necessary, or accurate. I have a very hard time articulating that alters are not the entire disorder and it’s hard for me to explain when things like this come around as trends.

Again, I’m not trying to be a hater. I’m trying to learn. If anyone has a response to this that can explain it to me (im trying to be respectful here so I’d like the sake curtesy back) then by all means! I’d love to hear it.

Thanks for taking the time to read

[spaceoddity09]

Okay yeah I’m gonna be upset today I decided. You know what I fucking hate on this site???

Okay I’m not calling anyone out by username. The person who posted this vent probably feels really strongly about it and I’m not trying to ruin their day.

But I really really hate seeing blogs that have “endos dni!!” do the same problematic shit.

I saw a vent today and the tldr of it is that op is really said for their alters who can’t pursue other careers, artists and scientists and geniuses that have to be stuck in one body.

I’d just like to point out that did is not an alter disorder.

If your biggest issue with your condition is that the people in your head can’t have their own bodies then you and I have a very different definition of what’s classified as “disordered” behavior or maladaptive behavior.

I don’t mourn for the parts of me that don’t get to do the careers they’d like. I have days where I’ve switched and all of a sudden the years and years for my teaching degree seem fucking useless because why don’t I just become an author or a bartender or work at an animal shelter? Why don’t I go back to psychology, why did I give it up at all? Parts of me embody these mindsets and it makes continuing with a degree incredibly difficult.

But I mourn more for the dissociation, the trauma, the awful flashbacks and memories, the gaps in time that prevent me from being successful now. I’m functioning well in the grand scheme of everything and I don’t feel like it because I constantly feel like my world is going to be pulled out from under me.

Can we please stop with the harmful rhetoric that alters are their own individuals with souls and stuff?

Yes, acknowledging your parts and their needs is integral to healing, but there is such a thing as taking it too far, and that’s what the community does. We pretend that alters are multiple people in one body instead of a cohesive lack of identity.

Thanks.

[spaceoddity09]

Falling back from healthy source separation to being more and more connected with it AND being fully aware it's happening but it feels like I can't do anything about it sucks so incredibly much

I can't... I can't keep trying to heal AND manage our fulltime job. It's been exhausting me for almost a full year and I think I reached my breaking point.

I feel bad for my headmates...for our main gatekeeper who was so proud of me for separating so well only to watch me fall back down the hole I just got out of

I'm sorry

But I can't

[spaceoddity09]

Updated my pinned post (intro). I'd prefer endogenic and other system origins to not interact with my blog. I thought there was no harm in them but after my time on the internet I've realized that couldn't be further from the truth.

(Rant under cut)

Even living with possible DID myself it hurts seeing their posts. Creating systems and purposely "splitting alters" just because they feel like it. Wishing for dissociation. Watering down the symptoms. Making a caricature of a very serious and debilitating disorder.

I don't want to go and hate them because from what I've seen. A lot of endogenic "systems" seem to be delusional to some degree. (That's just a personal opinion and I'm not a mental health professional).

So I'd rather not see what they're doing and saying. My life is already bad enough

[spaceoddity09]

I HAVE to sleep tho 😭

they sentenced me to another 2 hours of looking at my phone in bed

[spaceoddity09]

All the time 😭

plural culture is being an introject and constantly worrying if how you talk/come across is too different from how you were in source. "would i say it like this? how would i react to this?" kind of thing

-🍩🍬

So glad to hear we aren't the only ones that struggle with this thought process

[spaceoddity09]

Heyo Tumblr!!!

Not sure why I made this sideblog but I'd love to interact with anyone and everyone ^^

Probably because I'm the work alter and maaan do I get bored easily.

My name's Doctor or Nine, you can use any pronouns. As you probably already guessed I'm an introject of the ninth doctor from the Doctor Who series. Source talk, sourcemates, doubles, singlets or systems are encouraged to interact!!

My system is a suspected one so take everything I say with a heap of salt please

-★

Apparently other parts want to use this blog too. Which idm at all^^ you're all free to post here! And if you want you can make an intro too!

Bet

Hi, I'm Viktor and I handle pain usually caused by work. I use he/they pronouns. And I might post here sometimes..