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One time Bruce signs up for some sort of celebrity charity assault course TV show mostly so he can make a fool out of himself as Brucie Wayne while drawing public attention to a charity. Only when he gets there to meet the other celebrities he will be competing against, he finds out that all his older children have been given the slots to go up against him (Tim pulled some strings and kept mentioning how great it would be to have a 'Wayne Family' special only they wouldn't let Damian compete because he is a baby). And Bruce is then torn because he really doesn't want to loose to his children and suffer the embarrassment of it but also he's Brucie Wayne so he can't act like he can keep up with his children who are trained acrobats and ballet dancers.

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Tim: Oh, I have one cookie.

Damian: Why are you making me do this?

Tim: It's for social media. Just do it.

Damian: Oh look, I have two cookies. Grayson, please reveal your three cookies so we can move on with our lives.

Dick: Oh look, I have... Oh, no cookies.

Tim: No, I definitely gave you a cookie.

Dick: No, it's okay. I didn't need a...

Damian: Once again I must cover for Drake's incompetence. Have my second cookie, Grayson.

Dick: Thank you.

Damian: And we can split Drake's so he learns to count better.

*takes Tim's cookie*

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Fic idea where, after all the other Robins are badly injured on a mission, Jason decides to time travel back to shortly after Bruce took Dick in and stop Dick from ever becoming Robin. He figures that is a happy medium where Dick has a legal guardian but all Robin based trauma is avoided. He figures all he needs to do is stop Bruce from 'manipulating' Dick into becoming a hero. Only Jason soon learns that Dick is dead set on being a vigilante and finds Bruce Wayne, the same age as him and tired, is his unlikely ally in trying to convince Dick to just stay home and live a quiet and safe life in the mansion.

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Superman being like 'This is my Fortress of Solitude' and it's got an AI of his bio dad to talk to and a dozen robots who want to hang out with him.

Batman being like 'This is the Batcave' but it's literally a nursery.

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I keep thinking about Damian ending up trapped in a storybook world where he ends up on Neverland and he is like 'Fine, let's fine this immortal fairy boy and get home' only as he tries to track down the Lost Boys, he encounters more and more people who look like versions of people from Gotham and he comes to believe that Dick Grayson is the leader of the Lost Boys because he never grew up only for him to reach them and find out that Bruce is because he has never been able to move past being that terrified little boy and he has to help Bruce taken down their version of Captain Hook or else he won't help him get back to his version of Gotham.

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Damian getting black mercyed results in him dreaming of a world where Bruce is retired from Batman and Talia is retired from assassinating people and they live together in Wayne Manor while Dick is the Batman to Damian's Robin and Jon is still younger than him and his best friend.

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I have this Dick/Babs but Miraculous Style Love Square idea where Dick has a massive crush on Batgirl and Babs has a massive crush on Dick but they don't know who the other really is. And originally I was like 'Bruce knows but doesn't say because it is funny' but now I am like 'Bruce knows but he needs time to emotionally prepare for Dick to start dating so he is holding off until he is ready'

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I feel like Dick Grayson would love to tease people behind Batman's back. Like in his latter years as Robin and his early years as Nightwing, he knows he looks good and he knows if anyone looks, Batman is gonna be furious, so he is deliberately trying to get criminals and sidekicks and cops alike to gawk at him and then acting all innocent when Batman turns around like he wasn't just maintaining eye contact with someone while sucking on an ice lolly.

Batman, for the most part, is fully aware that Robin/Nightwing is doing this but he thinks it is the perfect teaching opportunity for any potential romantic partners that Bruce will be removing their bones one by one if they hurt his boy.

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I get everyone writing Bruce as a publicly responsible parent for Dick but I also like to imagine a world where Brucie Wayne still acts like a wild playboy but just with this kid in tow. And Gotham just let's him because the way Bruce does it is actually pretty endearing. Like he takes Dick clubbing with him but buys out the entire VIP section so it's just him and their eight year old dancing behind a red velvet rope while the rest of the patrons cheer and dance. And he takes Dick out on his boating trips with models but everyone spends their time dressed up (to varying extents) as pirates and the models just have to accept their sunbathing might be interrupted occasionally by a boy jabbing them with a plastic sword (but they're on a millionaire's yacht so they'll survive).

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This is why Batman keeps the dinosaur...

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Odysseus: Penelope, Telemachus has a scar on his knee. Where did he get it? Penelope: Oh, when he was a toddler a big wave knocked him over and he cut his knee on a rock. Odysseus: Excuse me for a moment. *One moment later* Odysseus: You hurt my son! Poseidon: It was an accident! I'm sorry!!

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I need an Odyssey retelling in the style of 'How I met your mother' only it's Odysseus telling his grandkids the tale of how he got home to actually meet the man their father became.

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When Clark ends up becoming the parent helper for the football team, Damian gets a little jealous that everyone is saying how cool Jon's dad is so he demand Bruce call the school and become a parent helper. However Bruce is busy and there isn't really any jobs for him so Dick ends up taking on the job, becoming the parent helper to the cheer squad. Which Damian is at first super embarrassed about because all the other boys make fun of him for it but soon Damian sees Dick is running the cheer squad with military precision and Damian suddenly becomes super popular with all the girls on the squad simply because he spends so much time around them which makes all the other boys jealous.

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Batman be like 'I know a guy' and then he calls up the tiniest little guy with the brightest blue eyes you've ever seen.

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Keep thinking about a version of the Odyssey where Odysseus gets home only to find Penelope and Telemachus have been kidnapped and he tells the suitors whichever one of them proves themselves as the best warrior when they go on a quest to rescue Penelope and Telemachus will be highly rewarded and get to marry his widowed sister only for Odysseus to rescue his wife and son with the suitors and spend the entire journey back deliberately setting the suitors up to be killed off one by one.

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Thinking about a version of Epic where the suitors do go to attack Telemachus while he is on his ship and as they're making it very long and drawn out and monologuing about everything evil they are going to do, Odysseus is is just slowly, calmly, making his way toward them across the water.

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I know I am not being 'Truman Show'ed because a broadcasting company would have to give me better mental health care