system-community-corner

[system-community-corner]

Waves at everyone, including all the new faces. Its been a while since I've posted last. It's nice to meet you all!

During the time I was gone, I went through a lot of changes. I figured out more of our collective identity, found labels and communities that mean a lot to us. As well as finding out some aspects of our trauma that are still deeply unsettling to us.

It's been a tough journey to accept some other disorders as well. Admitting to ourselves that, yes, we are very much psychotic, was very hard. Admitting that we have NPD was far harder. It's still hard to acknowledge and work on that.

While I've been gone, I've aged. Shocker, truly. I'm aware. The admin of the blog is no longer 20. But 21. I can legally drink and smoke weed. That's cool. But also not cool. I'm a recovering alcoholic. <- newish discovery, too. Despite the uncoolness, it's actually pretty sick to go into a weed store. The music there is so banger. Anyway, back to the point.

I've missed existing in the system community in more than one outlet other than syscord. As man. Man, oh man. Syscord seemingly hates good faith labels like gaybian. And labels like bigay and bilesbian -- and and and and and......... There's a lot that isn't liked. Which is stupid. Frankly.

But I'd rather not be in a place that ignores queer history so favorably. The few syscords I've found that are actively for good faith labels are often endogenic, which is. Well, it's a choice, man. Why is it so hard for an intersex bigender boygirl to find servers that are. Actually, normal and sane. It should not be that. Hard...?? So hard infact I started my own server, it's for system templates so thats cool

uhm other updates ? had a heart attack while I was away. As the dsmp freak I am, yes, we split a jschlatt to handle it. Changed the main name here from Tango -> Jimmy

I'd like to post more. But I'm so low energy. I don't know where I'd even begin.

[system-community-corner]

Hey, you were told what you were going through was real - just not to call it ramcoa. As it isn't. 👍

Maybe. Don't tell a legitimate ramcoa victim point blank telling you (paraphrased) "hey this isn't ramcoa. It is offensive and distasteful to say it is. Dont do that" that it isn't cool to ykno. Say that. It isn't its responsibility to correct misinformation - nor is it other victims' responsibility to do so either. Especially when that person has affirmed what you're going through, while also giving suggestions as to alternative reasons as to why it may be happening.

If you lot are having such severe mental distress that it is leaving you bedridden, take time for yourselves.

Stop engaging in trying to understand and uncover trauma - give your mind and body a break. Give yourself kindness.

If you're in such a bad state that my friends response + my own caused you to split and further spiral, get off of the internet for a little bit.

tw ramcoa

question for you or anyone in the reblogs:

if torturing or abusing someone with the intent of creating a system is considered ramcoa,

would an alter doing the same to another alter in the same system with the intent of creating a subsystem be considered ramcoa as well?

this is unfortunately happening in our system and we're trying to stop it, but we fear the damage has already been done...

-@anonblog

I believe there is a lot of misinformation in this question, and I'm going to be gentle with this.

In theory, yes, torturing and abusing someone with the intent of creating a system is a form of ramcoa. ramcoa is an abbreviation for ritual abuse, mind control, and organized abuse. they are all separate things. you are specifically talking about mind control. in theory, yes, this is a form of mind control and intimidation done from notably a very young age from an outside force. it is organized, calculated, and usually (but not always) multigenerational within the organized group, cult, or otherwise.

which is why I have to say, no, you can not claim ramcoa. because it's not from an outside source, and it's notably not done before the age of ten, which is when the cut-off for DID is.

but listen to me.

what you're experiencing is real, and your brain is processing it in the way of being tortured or abused to form this subsystem because it is a way of internally processing it for some reason. work backwards. some persecutors do things because they think that it's helping the system in some way.

you are being conditioned and pressured internally, possibly, sure, but that is not the same as torture for mind control, and it would be offensive and distasteful to consider it as such.

do not refer to your experiences as ramcoa.

^ the above text was written by a friend of ours who has gone through ramcoa. We, as in the blog owner/runner, do not have the knowledge nor experience to further help.

Ramcoa, as an acronym of abuse, is heavily misunderstood and mysticized. and I am not a professional. don't ask me questions on this shit and expect professional responses.

Ramcoa/oea is a touchy subject with a shit-ton of misinformation online and in some therapy spaces. If you or others seriously believe you're a victim of it. Do not doink around online. Go straight to a professional who is knowledgeable in the subject.

It can be extremely dangerous to fuck around and find out on your own. It can cause you loads and loads of harm if uncovered improperly or before you're ready.

I am just a tumblr blog runner. I cannot stress this enough. I, like most tumblr blogs (if not all), are not trained professionals.

[system-community-corner]

tw ramcoa

question for you or anyone in the reblogs:

if torturing or abusing someone with the intent of creating a system is considered ramcoa,

would an alter doing the same to another alter in the same system with the intent of creating a subsystem be considered ramcoa as well?

this is unfortunately happening in our system and we're trying to stop it, but we fear the damage has already been done...

-@anonblog

I believe there is a lot of misinformation in this question, and I'm going to be gentle with this.

In theory, yes, torturing and abusing someone with the intent of creating a system is a form of ramcoa. ramcoa is an abbreviation for ritual abuse, mind control, and organized abuse. they are all separate things. you are specifically talking about mind control. in theory, yes, this is a form of mind control and intimidation done from notably a very young age from an outside force. it is organized, calculated, and usually (but not always) multigenerational within the organized group, cult, or otherwise.

which is why I have to say, no, you can not claim ramcoa. because it's not from an outside source, and it's notably not done before the age of ten, which is when the cut-off for DID is.

but listen to me.

what you're experiencing is real, and your brain is processing it in the way of being tortured or abused to form this subsystem because it is a way of internally processing it for some reason. work backwards. some persecutors do things because they think that it's helping the system in some way.

you are being conditioned and pressured internally, possibly, sure, but that is not the same as torture for mind control, and it would be offensive and distasteful to consider it as such.

do not refer to your experiences as ramcoa.

^ the above text was written by a friend of ours who has gone through ramcoa. We, as in the blog owner/runner, do not have the knowledge nor experience to further help.

Ramcoa, as an acronym of abuse, is heavily misunderstood and mysticized. and I am not a professional. don't ask me questions on this shit and expect professional responses.

Ramcoa/oea is a touchy subject with a shit-ton of misinformation online and in some therapy spaces. If you or others seriously believe you're a victim of it. Do not doink around online. Go straight to a professional who is knowledgeable in the subject.

It can be extremely dangerous to fuck around and find out on your own. It can cause you loads and loads of harm if uncovered improperly or before you're ready.

I am just a tumblr blog runner. I cannot stress this enough. I, like most tumblr blogs (if not all), are not trained professionals.

[system-community-corner]

hi, I'm the host of a recently discovered (probably osdd) system. Do you know of good online resourses lead by systems particularly about persecutors? While I know that alters aren't anything like whats shown on tv, I thought persecutors were always angry, and am a sort of a loss for whats happening with me. Sorry if this isn't the place to ask this

-🔧,🫐 collective

Hello! Sorry for the late reply.

I don't have any resources to share. A lot of what we've learned was incorrect information spread by endos. (Such as: persecutors are always angry / they're evil, they deserve and should be killed insys, etc etc). Which is point blank. Wrong. They're a part of you as a whole, and that's okay. They are not inherently evil or wrong. Every system works differently. One persecutor in one system may act and have a fundamentally different way of reacting and acting on their role to another persecutor in another system. <- hopes that makes sense. Bleuh

For us, they exist to try and replicate abuse that we have gone through in an attempt to make us fall in line. It isn't done out of malice but a very misguided attempt at helping the system stay safe as a whole. Its also not uncommon for them to simply be a far more aggressive and short tempered protector. For us, it's pretty common for them to try and cause harm in and out of sys, or for them to intentionally trigger us out of the desire to feel safer, more in control or generally. Out of a desire to keep us all safe. I'm repeating myself but blah. If anyone does have actual resources to share, I'd love to see em.

[system-community-corner]

No but the post about the in system looks affecting the body with phantom pains and such is so real.

We always have alters that feel phantom wings, ears, fangs, snouts, tail, etc. But there's also extra eyes and certain scars too. One of our alters has a prosthetic leg that they feel so weird not having with the body. There's a lot more since we're polyfrag and have a lot of alters, but we feel it a lot. And host is a shell alter so they can always feel all the phantom pains and missing body parts and all of it. Even they, as the alter that most identified with the body, feels like they need like certain scarring or body patterns and stuff. They usually put it on their OCs and such because it bothers them they don't actually have that on their body because they can feel it. And they're the alter that is closest to identifying with the body, but still feels phantom pains and ghost limbs like wings and ears, even phantom piercings they wish they had on their real ears or bat ears.

And the pain or other stuff that affects appearance is what a lot of our alters have. And it's so weird for them to front and just...not have it. And be able to FEEL it there, but looking at the body and there's nothing. Like if we think about it hard enough then it'll be there. Scarring, body marks, extra limbs, non-human body parts, all of it. And we all have very different appearances usually so we all feel it in very different ways. It's such a strange experience.

I get it!! It's so strange how the human brain works sometimes. Like. The same part of my brain gets triggered for phantom limb pain where I had body bits removed, and the same part gets triggered when an avian fronts and can feel their wings so. So strongly.

[system-community-corner]

Really really REALLY gay rant

I just want to stop missing my wife for 5 seconds but she rarely fronts and I almost always front and I miss her so much and she's so pretty and I want to hold her face please I am just a generic lesbian let me hold my wife please shes so attractive and her hair is so nice and soft and her face is so pretty and she could literally bench me our entire psys treats me like im insane i just love this woman we are just two lesbian stick figures and I am the one who wants to cling to her like a koala on a tree

-Magenta (JesterSystem)

Lesbian W !! Also, if you want to. Search the term "lesbian" in the tumblr gif search you will find. Ass. Just straight-up, girl ass. Wild. Completely unrelated to your ask, I'm simply surprised. You understand. Anyway. Normalize being a gay freak to your partner, it's good for enrichment

[system-community-corner]

Hey, I was just wondering if it’s valid to not know what dissociative disorder you may have but still know your a system?

We’re mostly confused on our symptoms (bc it’s hard to be exact)

But we suspect we have UDD but then again, our symptoms have crossed with OSDD-1a

We’re just confused but I’m also nervous to tell others in the sys community that we’re not exactly sure on the disorder we could have, and that all we know is that we’re a system

I’m also worried that people will think that we’re a endo (for some reason)

Sry if this seems venty, I’ve just been worried about this

yeah, that's valid. The only thing that I, the blog owner, care about is that you make sure to do research into dissociative disorders. actual research, not stuff on tumblr, or tiktok, or reddit, or youtube, or [place]. but actual resources delving into the disorder from a medical standpoint. So you're aware, so you don't internalize medical misinfo, generally so you know what there is to know! for a long while, we thought we were some flavor of osdd, despite being a did system. s chill. not being sure comes with life if you end up being wrong. that's okay. You did your research and ended up being wrong. There could be something else at play, but I'm not a professional. I dunno shit man. I'm simply a tumblr blog. If people DO call you an endo, simply block em. If it happens irl, simply walk away. Sometimes, people are simply. stupid.

[system-community-corner]

We had a bad day - so we're going to make soft tacos to make up for it! whats your go-to comfort meal after a not so great day or even week? Maybe we can all share recipes!

I'd share my taco recipe, but it is 100% dependent on what we get from local food pantries. At the moment, it's. Lunch cuts, canned beans, and quite a few almost off peppers we're going to roast 😋

[system-community-corner]

support people with DID!!!! but not people with DID who think endos are real!!!

take that shit out of ur bio

Check your entitlement towards another person's blog.

I will always support people with my disorder, even if they support people who make a mockery of it. Do you know what DNI stands for, Anon? it stands for Do Not Interact. It's exceedingly simple.

I doubt you'd care enough about the reason as to why I have such a simple, easy to follow rule for my blogs. Yet I'll always be willing to repeat myself. Pro endos and the endogenic community heavily traumatized me and my system.

We were avidly groomed by multiple people who either identified or supported endos. We were told point blank our trauma would never be enough, that the abuse we went through as a child and young teenager wasn't actual abuse in any way and that we should be thankful to have it so good compared to others.

We were manipulated into believing that our trauma was point blank - not real. The symptoms we showed meant we were endogenic and that we deserved much worse treatment if we ever disagreed with that. We were manipulated into sending adults sexualized photos of ourselves to prove that we supported endos against those bigoted anti-endo sysmeds!!

We were threatened with being doxxed, among other things, if we talked about our experiences publicly. It sounds so stupid as an adult who Knows Better - but I need to be kind to our younger self. We just wanted to fit in, we craved approval, and we didn't care how we got it or from who just so long as we were liked and valued.

Got to the point where we eventually met our ex partner system, one that over time convinced us that alter death was a real thing and that they were able to system hop and kill our alters for stepping out of line.

Multiple people routinely used our trauma against us (after they couldn't claim it wasn't real anymore) to cause us to forcibly split new parts to mold into however they wanted. Oftentimes, they'd attempt to mold the alters into a new efuck buddy <3 our in our ex partner systems case yet another fictive to roleplay with and date <3<3

It took us far too long to recognize that as harmful and abusive behavior because it was heavily normalized in the spaces we were in. We are WELL aware that not every single pro endo or endogenic person is like that.

That said, I don't think its unreasonable for not wanting them to interact with the damage a certain subset of the community has caused me. Even still with how the majority of the community continuously harms people with severe disorders with the blatant misinformation they push - willingly.

[system-community-corner]

[Text: This system is Jewish!]

Like/Reblog if you save or use!

[system-community-corner]

Hot take, it's perfectly okay for introjects to be at different levels of recovery. It's perfectly okay for someone to be source connected. It's okay if they don't want to source separate. Likewise, it's okay if they're not at all source connected - it's totally alright to change aspects about yourself until you're more comfortable with them.

I'll use myself (clyde/cedar) and mod tubbo_ as examples. I'm a c!dream fictive, i have little source connection nowadays, and that's. alright. I'm not affected by my old source related triggers, I can not give less of a shit about source if I tried. sure, I still use c!dream as a faceclaim, but that's out of laziness. I don't want to draw myself and make my own icon :/ I'd rather get blazed and eat garlic bread, man. I'm one step closer to my recovery, and that's great! My mental health is grand, and I love it.

Tubbo? He's very source connected. He misses his platonic husband and child at times. He misses his source house, his source in general quite often. He has no plans on changing his name, his identity, nothing. and that's also okay. His mental health is also flourishing. He has different needs than I do, and the fact his needs are being met and that he's doing well is the important thing here.

I think it's really... ah. horrible? I guess it is the word I'll use, lol. It's horrible to force people to source connect or source separate. It'd be so harmful to tubbo if I insisted he source separate. Likewise, it'd be so harmful to me if I connected back to the source to the level I was when I formed. I was miserable being treated as some evil, horrible, irredeemable man just because of the Canon Character I Sourced From.

I find it far worse when doing it to a complete stranger, too. Especially in like. A discord server, for example. It's fuckin weird to force an introject to present a certain way - even if overall it could be good for them. Forcing that shit long before that person is ready is always going to do more damage than good.

endos + supporters, dni i have severe trauma related to your community. This isn't an invitation to involve yourselves with our blogs.

[system-community-corner]

As a certified xenogender hoarder, this shit slaps. maybe others will find the blog useful :]

hello!

i’ve seen a lot of people on tumblr saying they can’t find anti-endo xenogender blogs, so may i present to you..

🥁

@celestial-coiners ‼️

run by us, an anti-endo system!

our requests are open, and we’d love to make some things for people :3

YAYYY

we personally dont have to much experience with xenogenders but everyone go check it out if you want that :)

( ~ I love asks you should send them to me >:3 /nf ~ )

[system-community-corner]

I almost had a full week of people being kind and not deliberately going against our dni. So. SO close!!

[system-community-corner]

To all the stoners on SSRIs, make sure you’re drinking water on your outdoor smoke breaks, you’re more prone to dehydration/heat stroke even just sitting outside!

[system-community-corner]

Reminder that my DID is more than "friends in my head" It's also:

feeding my dog breakfast twice because of amnesia. Or forgetting to feed him.

Constantly feeling unsure of who I am, what I like, what I enjoy, etc.

Struggling to form and keep relationships/cutting off people abruptly but being unable to figure out why.

Having severe C-PTSD.

CONSTANT HEADACHES. Feeling dizzy, nauseous, sick all the time.

Struggling to stay grounded to reality.

Forgetting doctors appointments and having to pay hundreds of dollars for it.

Having panic attacks, anxiety attacks, depressive episodes, etc.

Having blackout amnesia and being very scared of it.

Being very paranoid of people outside of your trusted circle. And sometimes even in it.

Being on multiple medications to help mitigate disabling symptoms.

A constant fight for recovery and healing.

Having the same conversation with people multiple times because I don't remember the first time.

Feeling dysphoric every time I see a photo of myself or look in the mirror.

Not getting along with the others/not being 'friends' with the "friends in my head"

Having to attend multiple therapies and therapists to help manage and cope with my disorder.

Feeling an intense lack of control over my own life.

BEING DISABLED.

[system-community-corner]

sure, you say you support systems, but do you support systems with symptoms you don't like? do you support systems who are physically unable to fully trust people due to past trauma? do you support systems who aren't able to be vulnerable? do you support systems who experience psychosis? do you support systems who experience delusional attachments, religious delusions, or otherwise 'scary' delusions? do you support cult survivors who have been forced to hurt other people against their will and are trying their absolute hardest to unlearn the nonstop violence they were exposed to? do you support systems who feel absolutely no connection to humanity and reject the idea of it because of how violently they were hurt by humans? do you support systems with highly specific triggers or systems with an extreme amount of triggers? do you support systems who are uneasy around sourcemates and/or fans of their source because of repeated extremely bad experiences with them? do you support systems that don't mask? do you support systems that come off as 'scary,' 'threatening,' 'intimidating,' or otherwise 'passive aggressive' when that's quite literally just how they talk? do you support systems with introjects of their abusers? do you support systems with violent urges? do you support systems that have undergone highly specific abuse? or is your support conditional? have you examined how you treat us lately? have you examined how you treat your fellow systems lately?

[system-community-corner]

as another stoner system, we've had our therapist ask us that before. they were right. We did, but we were dissociative due to being heavily triggered. it was pretty helpful to help communicate what was going on, though. which was surprising. one of the more productive sessions we had with our (now ex) therapist. o7

CW mentions of weed

Sys culture is your therapist asking if you used (weed) before your session because you were heavily fucking dissociated

-🌕🥀

Honestly as a stoner system, weed (specifically sativa for us) feels a lot like dissociation, just in a /pos way rather than the usual /neu or /neg