#"Setting boundaries for good behavior"

[kidsinnowadays]

Discipline and Boundaries: What Is Good for Children's Behavior

Understanding discipline and setting healthy boundaries helps children thrive. This post shares tips on positive discipline, consistent consequences, and teaching self-regulation. #discipline #boundaries #parenting

Raising children is one of the most rewarding experiences in life. However, it also comes with many challenges, especially when it comes to discipline and setting boundaries. As parents, we want our children to grow up to be responsible, caring adults. But how do we instill good values and behavior in them? What type of discipline is most effective? In this article, we will explore the…

[thedevilinmybrain]

'that doesn't mean i can't have negative feelings about the behavior that he is presenting before us or i can't be critical of it' you absolutely can, but accusing louis of using his dead mother for clout is not you being critical - your quote: 'people wouldn't be so invested and making comments if louis didn't make a habit of shoving his family and his relationships in front of us for clout'. i'm not a good person, but even i would never stoop so low as you.

i think you misunderstood me.

i wasn't referring to jay in that quote. in fact, out of all the people in his life, i think he has kept her as private and protected as possible, and only really honored her and her memory.

i was talking about how louis (and/or his team) uses his girlfriends and his son as props sometimes to push a narrative or they share too much and then allegedly gets upset when people comment about it. louis would do so much better if he set up clear boundaries and did not engage with social media in this way, especially on twitter.

[yellowbeefarm]

Why Chappell Roan Hate is So Forced

And how it runs much deeper than her

I’m sure you have heard the name before. You would be living in a bubble if you haven’t. Or you are simply not as immersed in pop culture politics and the rise and fall of the pop lesbian Midwest princess.

Chappell Roan, a pseudonym for Missouri-born Kayleigh Rose Amstutz, is an American singer-songwriter well known for songs Pink Pony Club and Good Luck Babe. You might have heard her on the radio or for her show-stopping performance at Governors Ball in New York City dressed as the Statue of Liberty.

She often performs with an aesthetic inspired by drag queens, and includes dramatic makeup and extravagant outfits often referencing queer icons and popular characters in history.

Her 2023 album The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess became widely popular after the release of her single Good Luck Babe in 2024, both included in the top 5 in the Billboard Hot 100 and US Billboard 200. Her songs include themes of sexuality, getting with a girl for the first time, situationships, and men not making her come.

This red, curly-haired, painted pop princess is not new to the game, but her themes often hit a nerve with those new to this genre. Which is not, in fact, a new genre.

People are often turned off by her authentic, gaudy, “mean girl” vibe. Which has a bit to do with her presence during interviews, and a lot more to do with the box society expects her to climb into as an outspoken lesbian in the world of queer pop culture. They love to pick apart every inch of her personality and presence, so let’s get into it.

On Motherhood

“All of my friends who have kids are in hell. I actually don’t know anyone who’s like happy and has children at this age.”

During her appearance on the Call Her Daddy podcast, hosted by Alex Cooper, she talked about her stance on having kids at her age and how the mothers around her feel.

Other mothers, specifically, have outraged over her comments, simply saying, that all the mothers she knows are miserable and are not enjoying their lives. They have expressed that they ARE happy and this declaration of all mothers being unhappy with their kids is wildly offensive. Now, let’s back track and read that quote again. Maybe she wasn’t talking about you?

There are a lot of mothers on TikTok and mommy bloggers on Youtube that do in fact complain about their role as a mother and society’s harsh expectations of how they should act. Motherhood is difficult. I don’t have to be a mother to completely accept that fact.

This all comes down to social media’s disease of thinking everything is targeted toward them.

“My cat is so loving and beautiful.” So you hate dogs?

Everyone is just personally attacked by a statement that doesn’t pertain to them. A woman, that has friends with kids that are miserable, speaks up about how her specific friends feel miserable? I guess she is calling every single mother miserable now.

It almost feels like people were just waiting for her to say something slightly controversial so they can put their bigoted opinions they already held for her aside and attack her for “good reason” now. But, it didn’t start there.

A Celebrity's Boundaries

“I don’t care that this crazy type of behavior comes along with the job. … That does not make it okay. That doesn’t make it normal. … I don’t give a .. if you think it’s selfish of me to say no for a photo … That’s not normal. That’s weird.”

These are not unique concerns that come from being a celebrity, nor is it abnormal.

She stated later how she was not recalling a specific experience with this statement, but it has been an overall topic that has been bugging her.

Now what could possibly be wrong about setting boundaries? And it is just that. Boundaries. Why is everyone pretending that because this type of behavior comes with the fame and the job, that she just has to accept it. Just because it comes with the job, it does not make it okay.

It created fire with people claiming that if she can’t handle it, she should quit, or that she is overreacting because, of course, as you become more famous, people are going to recognize you and want to take a picture with you.

You’re a teacher, so you just have to accept that kids are going to mistreat you. You’re a nurse, so you have to accept that patients will abuse you.

These are common claims from female-dominated fields because women are taught that bad things might happen to them and they just have to deal with it because it comes with being a woman.

I am not saying being a celebrity is a female-dominant field, though a lot of female celebrities receive similar backlash for constant harassment they are expected to accept as part of their job.

And as the internet does, it drags it out.

Did she say she would immediately punch you in the face if you asked for a photo? Did she say she would blow you up with her mind if you made eye contact with her? No, but the internet did.

Yes, I can understand and appreciate a good joke, but only if it’s that. Good and funny, which these are neither.

Why boundaries and completely understandable concerns are treated as a joke is beyond me.

Political Standing

“I think it’s important for me to question authority and question world leaders and question myself. … If you literally know anything about me and for what I stand for … that my actions have always paved the way for my project and the people who really know me.”

To follow up this quote the next day, “Endorsing and voting are completely different.”

I’m sorry if you believe a drag queen inspired, man-hating lesbian could possibly vote for Donald Trump. I am sorry if she has to spell it out for you.

Never did she say she was not voting, period. It’s another case of assumption made by the internet so they have a reason to hate someone.

She explained later in the video that she did not endorse presidential candidate Kamala Harris because she doesn’t stand for everything she is running for. Her campaign doesn’t completely align with her, so she didn’t want to endorse her for that reason.

Then the internet turned around and called her a secret Republican for that reason. As soon as someone isn’t completely aligned with you, you accuse them of having the exact opposite views as you. Apparently her lesbianism is fake because she is not fitting into the box that a lesbian public figure should fit into.

She made another statement on the Call Her Daddy podcast about how hard it is to stay completely informed on politics and what is happening around the world. Which it can be difficult, but never did she say she doesn’t try.

She has donated money to Black and Queer communities, she advocated for better healthcare and support for growing artists, she refused to perform at the White House, she continues to give growing drag queens a bigger platform.

She expressed that no one should rely on celebrities for their political views and it was twisted into a view that she doesn’t care about politics at all.

If you rely on celebrities to figure out what you stand for, you should not be participating in this conversation. If you criticize her for expressing how difficult it can be to stay informed, but you jump on her hate train without doing any research or actually listening to what she is saying, you do not deserve to participate in the conversation.

Valid Criticism

In the pop culture world, every artist can be criticized. I don’t believe with every single thing she has ever said, and I believe she could be more consistent with what she has spoken up about.

I refuse to have a conversation with someone about her because they believe “she seemed off” when she was becoming more popular. I refuse to have a conversation with someone claiming she is a secret straight, Donald Trump supporting woman that is being performative about her queerness.

She built up her iconic Chappell Roan brand off of drag queens, and she has shown her support continuously, but her consistency can be criticized. Drag queens are, inherently, very political. Using their brand for your platform and then complaining about people expecting you to stay politically informed is pretty contradictory.

In the podcast, she expressed how hard it is to sleep, eat, perform, pay her workers, stay politically informed, and prioritize mental health. I can agree that is a lot to deal with, but it is coming from a very privileged view, and definitely could be said differently.

If an average person with a harder job and lesser wage can stay politically informed, then a famous, wealthy pop star can uphold what she has been standing for and not complain about it like it’s abnormal.

She once asked her followers for an AI picture of her and her friend, Ramisha Sattar. The use of AI is very environmentally dangerous and just ethically wrong. It was tone deaf, and ignores actual artists that could’ve been supported by Chappell Roan.

Valid criticism should always be welcome, and especially encouraged, when talking about anyone remotely famous, as it is important to not idolize celebrities for everything.

Using her as a punching bag because your anger runs much deeper than her, is downright para-social.

Just say you don’t like Chappell Roan. Stop twisting yourself and her into knots trying to give yourself a valid excuse to hate her. You can just not like her. I hope you heal from whatever you are going through.

[alarrytale]

What's your opinion on Chappell calling out entitled fan behavior?

wanted to ask your opinion on the chappel roan tiktoks she made the other day about fame and boundaries. i know a lot of people are siding with her, but i just feel like she could've been nicer about what she said...? i get that she had this crazy rise in fame the past few months. and i dont know how i would respond to that change, but to be upset bc fans want to take photos with you and to be so rude about it bc you're on "your time" just???. idk i feel like im in the minority here

Hi, anons!

So here is what she said for context.

It's a complicated topic with no right and wrong answer. When you become famous, a celebrity and a public figure you also become a role model, someone who people look up to, admire, and who people project their own feelings on to. There are many people who wants to find fame and recognition, but only a few of the best make it. It's the people and fans who choose who make it. With fame and celebrity there also comes expectations. You need to live up to people's image of you, what made you famous, or else people will turn their back on you and you're not worthy of your earned respect, fame and attention.

I've said many times before that a fan and celebrity relationship is symbiotic. It's give and take on both parts. You need to cater to your fans wants and wishes if you want to keep their attention and their loyalty. At the same time, a fan needs to respect that the celebrity is human with their own wishes and wants. So you need to find a balance between the two, where both parties are content.

When you're a celebrity you have to give up some things like privacy. People are going to greet you on the streets, want a pic with you, want to follow your career and private life, want to visit your home town, befriend you etc. You're a role model and a celebrity now. When you want attention on yourself to become famous, you can’t really choose and regulate when and where you get the attention. When CR compares herself to "a regular lady" she simply is not. Her days of not being recognised and being able to walk around a mall in peace are over.

I'm not sure what CR expected of fame and recognition and becoming a household name, but if she think she can police her fandom and expect to be treated like a regular citizen, she's wrong. It sounds like she wants to be a successful artist with all the perks, but not a celebrity and role model with all the backsides that comes with that. That's not how fame, success and recognition works. Being famous has it's perks, but also disadvantages. You have to give up and sacrifice some things in order to become famous. I saw a quote tweet that said that she's not going to last long in the industry if she's using this much energy on this. I agree with that. She needs to come to terms with people idolising her, especially since she has a young, female and queer target group and fandom.

I think realising and accepting fans need for your availability, respect and acknowledgement is important. She needs to understand how much she means to some people. That doesn’t mean she should put her life on hold for her fans. But it does mean setting aside time to do fan service. She has her boundaries and i think it would be good for her to do signings and meet and greets in controlled environments. That makes it easier for her to say no to pics, and fans understanding and accepting it, when she's "off work".

She also says that fans don’t know her and she doesn’t know them, that they're strangers. That's not true either. She should know what she means to her fans and how important she is to them. Her fans know what she's projecting and sharing of herself. A fan driving by her and rolling down the window and saying "hi, chappell, i love your music" isn't entitlement, harrasment, nor stalking. A fan talking about her on social media isn't entitlement, harrassment nor stalking. It's things she needs to accept as a celebrity.

Actual fan entitlement, harrasment, stalking, invasive behaviour is of course never okay. There will always be a handful of fans who break those boundaries. It can't be helped. The vast majority of fans she meets are just overzealous, harmless fans who just want her attention and show her how much they love and admire her. I understand it can be annoying to be asked for a pic twenty times a day, but just politely decline and say you appreciate their support. You can still say no and leave the fan with a good impression of you and have a good interaction.

She's young, she's new to all this and i think she's mourning her freedom and anonymity a bit. I hope she learns to deal with her new found fame and find a balance between protecting herself and her boundaries, and acknowledging her fans and the role she plays for them.

[geeta-singh]

When Good Designs Get Lost in Bad Renders: The Real Challenges of 3D Interior Rendering Services (And How to Fix Them)

You’ve crafted the perfect space—carefully chosen textures, balanced lighting, curated furniture—and yet, your 3D interior render doesn’t reflect your vision. Or worse, it doesn’t help win the client.

That’s the problem most professionals in the interior design and architecture world face. While 3D interior rendering services have revolutionized visualization, they’ve also introduced complexity, miscommunication, and rising client expectations that most teams aren’t prepared to handle.

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in endless revisions, explaining unrealistic expectations, or struggling to deliver on tight deadlines, this post is your roadmap.

We’re diving deep into the most persistent pain points around 3D interior rendering services and offering real, actionable strategies to overcome them—so your renders don’t just look good, but also drive results.

1. Why Most Interior Renders Fail to Communicate Emotion and Function

It’s not about how real it looks. It’s about how right it feels. Too many 3D interior rendering services focus on technical realism and overlook emotional resonance.

The problem:

• Spaces feel sterile, not lived-in

• Mood and lighting are misaligned with the design’s intent

• Camera angles miss the heart of the design

Fix this by:

• Starting with the narrative: Who is using this space? How should it feel?

• Matching lighting to emotion (e.g., soft morning light for calm, focused task lighting for functionality)

• Including subtle signs of life—wrinkled sheets, books on a shelf, a half-drunk coffee cup

Example: A studio working with a Scandinavian hotel chain improved conversion by 42% after adding atmospheric storytelling to their renders.

Why it matters: A render that connects emotionally will outperform a hyper-realistic but soulless one every time.

2. Unrealistic Turnaround Times and the Domino Effect

The rise of instant gratification has led clients to expect renders in 24-48 hours. But true 3D interior rendering services are layered: modeling, texturing, lighting, post-production—it all takes time.

What you can do:

• Build a clear project timeline with deliverables upfront

• Educate clients on phases: concept, draft, high-detail render

• Offer tiered service speeds (standard vs. express with premium pricing)

Quote to use: "Fast, good, or cheap—pick two."

Real-world solution: A New York-based firm created a visual process map for clients explaining each rendering stage. Result? 70% reduction in delivery-related complaints.

Why it matters: Setting boundaries doesn’t push clients away—it builds respect.

3. The Hidden Cost of Poor Material and Texture Libraries

Even skilled renderers often waste hours looking for the right materials or adjusting low-res textures. This inefficiency doesn’t just slow you down—it affects render quality.

Here’s how to streamline:

• Build your own high-resolution material library over time (organized by use case)

• Invest in commercial libraries like Poliigon, Quixel, or CGAxis

• Use proxy assets to reduce file weight and improve viewport performance

Example: An interior design studio in London saved 18 hours per month after standardizing their material library across teams.

Why it matters: Consistency = quality. And quality builds client trust.

4. Design-to-Render Disconnect in Collaborative Teams

Often, the person designing isn’t the one rendering. This creates communication breakdowns that compromise the design’s integrity in the final visualization.

Solve it by:

• Using shared platforms like Trello, Notion, or Frame.io for visual feedback

• Hosting handoff meetings between designers and renderers

• Creating detailed render briefs: desired mood, focal points, lighting behavior

Real case: An agency in Singapore implemented a two-step render briefing system with visual references. Project accuracy rose by 36% in the first quarter.

Why it matters: Better alignment equals fewer revisions and more compelling visuals.

5. Post-Production as a Strategic Differentiator

Many 3D interior rendering services treat post-production as an afterthought. In reality, it’s where the magic happens—adding depth, emotion, and final polish.

Upgrade your post-production game:

• Learn Photoshop or After Effects color grading techniques

• Add sun flare, bloom, DOF blur, and slight vignette effects for mood

• Use LUTs to create a cohesive render style across projects

Example: A boutique interior rendering firm in Berlin created a signature color grade for their renders and saw their Instagram engagement double.

Why it matters: Renders should feel like part of your visual brand—not just functional outputs.

6. The Myth of ‘Photorealism’ in 3D Interior Rendering Services

The industry often equates quality with photorealism. But this leads to overproduced visuals that lose warmth and relatability.

Instead, aim for:

• Stylized realism—true to life but artistically enhanced

• Visual consistency with brand or project goals

• Balancing detail with atmosphere

Example: A rendering agency in Toronto created soft-stylized renders for senior living interiors. The warmth and clarity improved approval speed by 28%.

Why it matters: Photorealism is a tool, not a rule. Use it wisely.

7. Scaling Your 3D Interior Rendering Services Without Compromising Quality

Most businesses in this space reach a point where demand exceeds bandwidth. Hiring more hands isn’t always the answer.

Smarter scale strategies:

• Productize services with fixed scopes and timelines

• Use repeatable templates for common render types (living rooms, kitchens, bathrooms)

• Train junior renderers to handle base modeling and material setups

Real-life fix: A startup in Chicago built a render product catalog with pricing and deliverables. Clients could choose from packages like "Luxury Living Room" or "Modern Kitchen Night Scene."

Why it matters: Clarity and efficiency fuel sustainable growth.

Conclusion: Making Every Render Count

3D interior rendering services have become a critical part of how we communicate design. But doing it well takes more than software skills—it takes strategy, empathy, and strong business systems.

Key takeaways:

• Tell stories with your renders, not just specs

• Set timelines that protect both quality and sanity

• Standardize your asset pipeline to reduce waste

• Collaborate like your visuals depend on it—because they do

• Use post-production to distinguish your brand

• Challenge the photorealism trap with emotion-driven styles

• Scale smart by productizing and templating

Next step? Revisit one of your recent renders and evaluate it using the principles above. Then optimize one thing—maybe it’s your lighting setup, your client briefing doc, or your revision process.

[workscounselingcenter]

Social Media and Mental Health

In recent years, mental health content has exploded across social media platforms. From Instagram carousel posts with tips on setting boundaries to TikToks explaining attachment styles, therapy-speak is everywhere—and people are listening. For many, following therapists online or engaging with therapeutic content feels like a meaningful step toward healing and it is amazing that this information is newly at our fingertips. But there’s a critical difference between listening to therapy on social media and actually being a therapist, both in terms of experience and impact.

Let’s talk about it.

We’re living in a time when the algorithm often dictates the information we consume, especially on TikTok. And when it comes to mental health, the appeal is obvious. Therapeutic content on social media is often bite-sized, relatable, and emotionally validating. Influencers and mental health professionals alike attempt to break down complex psychological concepts into 30-second videos or colorful quote graphics that look pretty and will catch attention. These snippets can be comforting and even educational, offering language and frameworks for understanding emotions that many people didn’t grow up with.

And there’s no doubt that this accessibility has benefits. People who might never set foot in a therapist’s office are now engaging with content that normalizes mental health struggles, encourages emotional self-awareness, and destigmatizes therapy as a whole. This democratization of information can spark curiosity and empower people to seek help, which is a huge positive. But while this kind of content is helpful, it’s not the same as therapy—and it certainly doesn’t make someone a therapist. Sometimes it can even lead to misinformation or people using mental health content as click bait and viewing numbers.

Listening to therapy content online can give people the illusion of expertise. Terms like “trauma bond,” “gaslighting,” or “emotional regulation” have entered common usage, but often without the depth or nuance needed to understand them fully. The risk is that people may misapply these terms, self-diagnose inaccurately, or oversimplify complex issues that they or others around them are currently facing.

Being a therapist requires more than a good grasp of mental health vocabulary. It involves years of education, clinical training, supervision, ethical study, and ongoing professional development. Therapists are trained to work with people in deeply personal, often painful contexts, and to do so with responsibility, structure, and a strong ethical foundation.

Therapy isn’t about dispensing advice or throwing around diagnoses—it’s about co-creating a space for insight, growth, and healing that changes with each and every client that walks in the room.

Scrolling through therapy posts can often feel enlightening, but it’s a passive experience. You consume information, maybe reflect for a moment, and then move on to the next piece of content. Real therapy, by contrast, is an active process that requires emotional effort, vulnerability, and often uncomfortable honesty.

Therapists don’t just label behaviors—we explore the context behind them. We don’t just hand out solutions, instead we guide you through your own discovery. And we don’t exist in your phone or your feed, we are trained professionals who invest time and energy in understanding you deeply, over time.

The therapeutic relationship between a therapist and the client is also central to healing. Studies show that the quality of this relationship is one of the strongest predictors on the success in therapy. No Instagram post, no matter how insightful, can replicate that.

Another complicating factor is the rise of parasocial relationships, where people feel connected to public figures or influencers, including therapists on social media. While this connection can be comforting, it can also lead people to mistake general for the specific, for example, that a therapist’s advice to a general audience applies exactly to their personal situation.

This can become even more problematic when creators blur the line between educational content and care for others. Some viewers may assume that following a therapist on TikTok is a substitute for real therapeutic support. But social media content is not individualized, confidential, or interactive in the way therapy is. It can’t account for your history, your trauma, your coping mechanisms, or your current life context which is so valuable and important.

So based on all of this you might be asking, what’s the right approach?

The answer is hard to land on, but often the best use of therapeutic content online is as a gateway, not a replacement. Use it to spark curiosity. Let it help you feel less alone. Use the language it introduces to name your emotions. But don’t stop there. Real change often requires deeper work—work that’s hard to do alone, and impossible to do through a screen.

If you’re inspired by something you saw online, bring it into the therapy room. Talk to a licensed professional about what resonated and why. That’s where the real transformation happens, in the slow, layered, deeply human process of sitting across from someone trained to help you grow. It is important to remember that overall, watching therapy isn’t the same as doing therapy.

Social media is the introduction. Therapy is the journey.

If you're interested in any of our services, feel free to get in touch with us.

[xpressluna]

What If You Didn’t Need to Feel Better to Live Better?

Why Chasing Happiness Might Be Holding You Back

We live in a culture obsessed with feeling good.

From wellness trends to motivational quotes, we're constantly told to feel better, think positive, raise our vibrations, and manifest joy. The underlying message? If you want to live a better life, you first have to feel better.

But what if that idea is backward?

What if you didn’t need to feel better to live better? What if the secret to meaningful progress wasn’t mastering your emotions—but moving forward in spite of them?

The Problem with Emotion-First Living

Let’s be honest: feelings are unreliable. They fluctuate with sleep, hormones, weather, Instagram likes, blood sugar, and whether you skipped breakfast. Waiting for your emotions to “align” before taking action can leave you stuck.

“I’ll start working out once I feel motivated.” “I’ll leave this toxic job when I feel brave.” “I’ll write my book when I feel inspired.”

But what if those feelings never show up? Or worse — what if they come and go, leaving you in an endless loop of stopping and starting?

The Paradox of Action

Here’s what high performers, psychologists, and even spiritual teachers often agree on: Action precedes emotion.

You don’t meditate because you’re calm — you meditate to become calm. You don’t go for a run because you feel energized — you go to gain energy. You don’t set boundaries because you’re confident — you gain confidence by setting boundaries.

In other words:

You don’t need to feel better to live better. You need to live better — and then, maybe, you’ll start to feel better.

This Isn’t About Ignoring Your Emotions

Let’s be clear: this isn’t about stuffing your feelings in a box and “powering through” forever. Emotional awareness is critical. What we’re talking about is emotional leadership — the idea that you can lead your feelings, rather than be led by them.

You can feel afraid — and take the leap anyway. You can feel sad — and still show up for your responsibilities. You can feel unmotivated — and still do one small thing that moves your life forward.

That’s not repression. That’s resilience.

Micro-Actions Create Macro Shifts

When you stop waiting to feel better and start taking action anyway, something interesting happens: Your actions begin to reshape your identity.

You feel like a failure but write one paragraph → You become a writer. You feel anxious but go to therapy → You become someone who heals. You feel unworthy but ask for the raise → You become someone who advocates for themselves.

These aren't massive, overnight transformations. They’re small signals to your brain that you are not your emotions — you’re someone who acts with intention, regardless of them.

Real-World Example: Behavioral Activation

This concept is backed by science. One of the most effective treatments for depression is something called Behavioral Activation. It doesn’t start by changing your thoughts or your feelings.

It starts by getting you to do things you don’t feel like doing — showering, going outside, meeting a friend — with the belief that actions will lead to mood improvements, not the other way around.

Spoiler: it works. Really well.

Final Thought: Show Up First, Feel Later

You don’t need to fix your entire emotional landscape to make better choices. You don’t need perfect clarity, boundless motivation, or unshakable confidence.

You just need to do the next right thing — even if your feelings haven't caught up yet.

Don’t wait to feel better to start living better. Start living better — and trust that the feelings will follow.

[javier-cuenca-basketball]

Javier Cuenca basketball - How Stay Motivated in Bad Work Culture

Staying motivated in a bad work culture can be challenging, but it’s possible with the right mindset and strategies. Here are some practical tips shared by Javier Cuenca basketball to help you stay focused and positive:

1. Focus on Your Personal Goals

Set Clear Objectives: Define what you want to achieve in your role, regardless of the work environment.

Keep Long-Term Goals in Mind: Use your job as a stepping stone toward bigger career aspirations.

Track Progress: Celebrate small victories to maintain a sense of accomplishment.

2. Build a Support System

Find Allies: Connect with coworkers who share a positive attitude or similar values.

Seek Mentors: A mentor within or outside your organization can provide guidance and encouragement.

Lean on Friends and Family: Share your challenges with trusted individuals for emotional support.

3. Create Your Own Positivity

Focus on What You Can Control: Avoid dwelling on negativity you can’t change.

Practice Gratitude: Find aspects of your job or workday to appreciate, like learning opportunities or financial stability.

Personalize Your Space: Make your workspace more inspiring with photos, plants, or motivational quotes.

4. Develop New Skills

Invest in Learning: Take courses or attend workshops that enhance your skills and make you more marketable.

Expand Your Network: Join professional groups or attend industry events to broaden opportunities.

Be Proactive: Find projects that align with your interests or strengths to keep work engaging.

5. Maintain Work-Life Balance

Set Boundaries: Avoid overextending yourself in a toxic environment.

Prioritize Self-Care: Exercise, meditate, and get enough rest to maintain your physical and mental health.

Pursue Hobbies: Engage in activities outside work that bring you joy and fulfillment.

6. Document Issues and Reflect

Keep a Record: Document any problematic situations or behaviors. This may be helpful if you need to address issues with HR or management.

Evaluate Your Role: Consider if the job aligns with your values and goals. If not, start planning your next steps.

7. Plan for Change

Start Exploring Options: Update your resume, network, and look for better opportunities.

Stay Optimistic: Remember that a bad work culture is temporary, and better environments exist.

Exit Strategically: Leave on good terms when the time is right to preserve your professional reputation.

Key Takeaway

While a bad work culture can be demotivating, focusing on personal growth, finding support, and maintaining a positive outlook can help you persevere. Remember, you always have the option to move toward a healthier work environment when the time is right.

Follow Javier Cuenca basketball for more such posts!

[omens-and-more]

I dont think Noah or the band dislike the fanbase for real, is more: they dont know how to deal with it anymore and also probably N feel that he cant win, he cant "discuss" on social medial, and if he do people will distorce his words even more. Remember in one interview that he said that many things that people quoted them, they in reality NEVER said it. This, and the stalk thing and baby pics. Also, he having problems with mental health, dont help too.So for his mental health, maybe is really better he just stay away or just lurk around when feel like it.

I think they have had plenty of time to adjust but as for them not knowing how to deal with it anymore, I would argue that they didn’t really deal with it to begin with. They have gone about things incorrectly. They never addressed problems when they arose they just ignored them. They never called out certain behavior. That just caused more problems and it became a vicious cycle. So they only have themselves to blame imo. If they would have spoke out and set clear boundaries when fans started getting crazy it would have made a big difference. Now it’s too late and the fans are a joke to the rest of the scene and it makes the band look bad as well. Judging by how Noah has talked about how serious he takes the band and the business, I’m sure his mental health isn’t very good right now.

….

[jiyofullest]

Embracing Your Talent: Quotes to Overcome Toxic People

In our journey through life, we often encounter toxic people who drain our energy and cloud our judgment. They can be discouraging and make us doubt our talents. To combat this negativity, it’s important to surround ourselves with positive thoughts and inspiring quotes. This blog will explore some powerful "toxic people quotes" that can help us rise above negativity and "jiyo fullest."

Understanding Toxic People

Toxic people are those who bring negativity into our lives. They may criticize us, belittle our talents, or drain our enthusiasm. It’s vital to recognize these individuals and their impact on our mental health. By understanding the signs of toxic behavior, we can learn to set boundaries and protect our positive energy.

The Power of Words

Words have a profound effect on how we feel about ourselves. When we read "toxic people quotes," we can find comfort and motivation. Here are some notable quotes to help you stay strong:

“You don’t have to engage with toxic people.” This quote reminds us that we have the choice to walk away. We can choose who we let into our lives, allowing ourselves to "jiyo fullest."

“Not everyone deserves a seat at your table.” This statement emphasizes the importance of valuing our time and energy. When we remove toxic individuals from our lives, we create space for positivity.

“The only way to win with a toxic person is to not play.” This quote is a powerful reminder that engaging with negativity only brings us down. Instead, focus on your talents and passions.

“Life is too short to waste on toxic people.” Our time is precious, and spending it with negativity only hinders our growth. It’s essential to surround ourselves with those who uplift us.

Inspiring Quotes for Your Talent

Now that we’ve explored "toxic people quotes," let’s turn our attention to the positive side. Here are some quotes that celebrate talent and encourage us to shine:

“Believe in your talents; they are your superpower.” This quote reminds us that everyone has unique abilities. Embracing our talents is crucial to "jiyo fullest."

“Your talent is a gift; share it with the world.” Sharing our skills can inspire others and create positive change. It’s a way to combat the negativity of toxic people.

“The world needs your talent; don’t hide it.” Hiding our talents out of fear or discouragement only benefits toxic people. We should let our light shine brightly.

“Success is not about being perfect; it’s about being yourself.” Embracing our authentic selves allows us to grow and thrive, despite the presence of toxic individuals.

How to Move Forward

When we face toxic people, it’s important to have strategies to move forward. Here are some steps to consider:

Set Boundaries: Identify who in your life is toxic and establish clear boundaries. Protect your space so you can focus on your talents and passions.

Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that make you feel good. Whether it’s reading, exercising, or pursuing a hobby, self-care helps combat negativity.

Surround Yourself with Positivity: Seek out supportive friends and mentors who encourage your talents. Their positive influence can help you "jiyo fullest."

Reflect and Journal: Writing about your feelings can help clarify your thoughts. Reflecting on your experiences with toxic people can guide you in making better choices.

Conclusion

In life, we will always encounter toxic people, but we don’t have to let them define us. By focusing on empowering "toxic people quotes," we can shield ourselves from negativity and embrace our talents. Remember to believe in yourself, set boundaries, and surround yourself with positive influences. As you move forward, strive to "jiyo fullest" by sharing your unique gifts with the world.

Let these quotes inspire you, reminding you that your talent matters. With the right mindset and a commitment to self-care, you can overcome any negativity that comes your way. Stay strong, stay positive, and let your talents shine brightly!

[someonewhothinks]

Forgiveness: a change of perspecive

So I've had a catholic upbringing, and although I'm somewhat distant in regards to the idea of god as an entity, I do believe, that the core values of christianity hold value and are helpful. Recently though, I have had some conflict about one of these values, that I wanted to share my thoughts about, that being: forgiveness. What sparked my interest in the topic was an upsetting experience with a teacher I had a month ago. He was the teacher who should have helped me with my scientific paper that I need for graduation, but throughout the process he repeatedly talked down to me and stressed me out (although he probably wasn't the only factor involved, he was one of them), which caused me to procrastinate, and - in the end - to fail. The buttom line is that he treated me poorly and didn't help, when help was needed. After this situation, I sort of distanced myself from the situation mentally and thougth about how to deal with it in a healthy manner, since I would meet that teacher again in class. Here the story becomes relevant: First I thought about forgiving him completely. I recall thinking of forgiveness as a reset-button, that would obligate me to change my behavior towards the person I'm forgiving and restart from the beginning. What else is forgiveness good for, if not for changing your behaviour towards the person that did you wrong? In hindsight, this is a pretty naive view of forgiveness, since it is completely onesided and leaves you vulnerable to repeated mistreatement. It presumes, that through your benevolent act of forgiveness the other person will suddenly change and recognise that they did you wrong. Unfortunately, this chain of events is an ideal and is most likely not going to happen (interestingly enough, this actually may be the philosophy that the bible wants to preach through Jesus, since he never fought back and endured all the pain that came his way - but that is ). I recognised this, when I discussed it with my father during eastern. He thinks, that forgiveness does not exclude the setting of boundaries. We should forgive people in order to move on and come to terms with the situation, not only to expect the other person to change in an instance. The value of forgiveness doesn't come with any forcecul change of behavior on your side, rather it comes with the less spiteful inner attitude that you internalize by forgiving. Then you take less damage from the situation and prevent it from continuously carrying it around as emotional baggage.

I read this fitting quote about it online: "Pardoning doesn't mean you have to let them back in."

[ladygoofball]

A Shady Love Poem from the office of Cassandra Apparently

For Apparently, Nobody. Fuckers. If you want Inanna's story? You'll keep reading. If not, feel free to scroll on by and accept my little written kiss sounds

kiss muah muah lovie lovie thank you for the time.

I just love pushing the boundaries of what is possible because the only thing I've ever been good at is fantasizing a better life for myself. I'm just nobody though, don't quote me on that.

To clarify it is to the same audience as my Battle Worn Boots poem. I'm tired of figuring out the meaning of words. You might say I've been chasing some wild geese for crumbs. What the hell do I know though? I'm just a lady! An American at that!

Another application? In this economy?! Come on. I've done thousands over the course of 7 years, and I'm pretty sure that is not hyperbole but I can't look in my emails without feeling a sense of disgust in my own behavior. Call it an official Strike Declaration.

The offices of Cassandra Apparently calls that? Witchcraft. Ereshkigal's crypto-testimonial (free of as many negative effects to the environment as humanly possible so better than crypto currency) is below the cut. The vibe? Keep that li'l diddy on repeat.

DATE OF PREDICTION: Basically all of 2024 so far. Assholes.

First off? Fuck you for questioning that authenticity. That needs to be said in no uncertain terms. Call me Absolute Truth, if you dare. I won't accept that in writing that needs to be told TO my face. That's where my self respect is, raise the bar any higher and I'll be happy to take this shit elsewhere tyvm (thank you very much in american gods damned english)

The spirits told me?

CALL THE PROJECT CASSANDRA!!!

I knew They'll say "No, that's too good to be true!" The bots will prevent the word from Reaching you. I did it anyway. That's too bold? Cool now I have to code switch to flirting because characters are limited and have to jump through hoops to prove I'm not trying to do that with any real ass person right now.

I say? I'll keep knocking until I get answers. As politely as possible until it might get to be too late. That's called good cyber security working out of courtesy to save something worth fighting for, Your Honor. What if there was a better world that I could show you?

I keep them begging. Yearning for the definition of the word. I am a Lit'rary thirst trap on the world wide web. I'll be Miss spider for a second and keep going anyway.

Oh...yes? GIVE IT TO ME, PLEASE!!!!

Bitch, "please"?

Just "please"? Not even dolling it up for me?

THE queen of 2020 hindsight? Come on.

You know what, now I have to start laying some ground rules. Call them boundaries, a steel sword in a marriage bed, or whatever. That's why I'm so activated anyway, I'm now in military generational trauma land Your Honor.

Yes, it is kind of your fault...but Yes it is kind to know people care. No, I'm not really that angry but Witness Ereshkigal cannot rest this case until it she knows it has been WITNESSED. Inanna does not come out for just anyone. /genuine.

I just have to set some HARD LINES IN THE SAND. I call that: building a wall with just imaginary bricks and mortar since the economy is collapsing and border walls are a poor concept in real life anyway. I call that Quality American Craftsmanship, a dying breed. I watched "Adventures from the Book of Virtues", I know when something is just a lesson and when something is direct. That was how I went to sleep thanks to good ole public television.

Rules for Conducting Business with Cassandra Actually, if you want to come into her house and beg her forgiveness for not listening to her sooner.

For the Camp Records: No, You don't personally have to, but someone should at this point for fuck's sake.

Rule 1: JUST PLEASE?! If this elvish paradise isn't enough for you, then hand me the keys. I'll drive US somewhere better, eh? We can call that Manifest Destiny without slaughtering native peoples and not endangering anyone in the process for being too on the nose. If that's not possible? I get it, but somebody has to try to get something better for me and for the record? I'm very happy to do it by myself thank you very much. My grandmother owns her own building. It's in my blood to seek the best for myself. Noni would approve, and she calls me frequently to provide tech support for her because she can't work a computer to get tenants. I don't have a single aspect of what I do on this WWW that is not exploited by someone, so that's why it has to be like that.

Rule 2: Do not do me the discourtesy of keeping their names from my shit list. If they bother any of you, bring them to me. I'll show them a way around a word or two. I've written thousands just for myself and nobody gets to see that before I am finished.

That last song probably got old by now, so you know what? Let's throw in another one to change the audience and the tone without putting words to what I'm doing for once in my gods damned life.

Rule 3: If I swing and I tell You to Duck? Then, bitch you had better get Quacking. That's not putting too much emphasis on the timeline, that's running out of funds to write checks that I can't cash if I wanted to because Nobody says it is not safe for me there. My entire Organization is on the line. I still honor the value of words, which is a craft that is apparently lost on these ghosts.

Rule 4: I may have been here for a while now, but I do NOT make time for anyone who can't get their damned facts straight. Even if it hits them over the head with ACME's Anvil. Bugs Bunny ass. That's not my problem, Your Honor. That sounds like a pissed off spirit. Too bad the art of Necromancy is dead in this place. If only a wizard knew how to Divine the cards as well as we can. A shame, really.

He must not be a master of the school of Divination like he claims to be!

Rule 5: I do not have time and will not make time for anyone who cannot get their facts STRAIGHT. It's the only straight thing about me, all these facts that I have are the definition of the straight and narrow.

He says that the way I hit it makes him forget his words? Try harder than that!

He says I must be celestial with all these angels singing in the chorus? Try harder than that!

The tone shifts away again? She can't keep doing this, but They say "Third time is the charm!"

Bozo Apparently asks: WHO THE FUCK HEALED YOU? WHO LAID HANDS? WHO CHARGED? THE GOOSE GIRL?? Over 400 hours, assholes. And weeks of playing with wild geese on the internet. 3 different runs through the Holy Narrative and I refuse to play through Act two until my eyes stop burning and my psyche is healed. I know how to play a video game or two and I know far better ones I can spend my time with. Ask Matthew Mercer who my last man might have been. Call that? Rune Factory 4 approves.

Did you say: Only a General could get them stepping this fast?

Bozo says: It could have been too late, sorry I'm a bit rushed! The economy is collapsing and industries I keep trying to get into are shutting me out faster than I can count how many weeks my unemployment checks. It's not that bad, all things considered, but if I was more than a half inch away from losing my familiars with no other options to save them I would not call myself Witch.

Bitch. Fuck a closing paragraph.

Wait, one last recommendation? Watch "The Social Dillema" and tell me I'm looking too into subliminal messaging online again motherfucker. You might as well add the Lizzie Bennet Diaries youtube series to your media diet too, while you're at it.

[llycaons]

this post editor is driving me up a fucking wall 😭 here's the last bit of the jc section and then some more (2/2)

flashback wwx wasn't really able to push back against jc given their respective positions in the sect (wwx feeling like an indebted servant who needed to serve the jiangs), but his refusal to take jc's abuse postres is a really significant part of his journey to a happy and healthy life. he still feels guilty about jyl and jzx, but he sets boundaries, he leaves if it's getting to be too much, and he doesn't hesitate to criticize jc. they COULD be close postres, but it would take a lot of work, especially on jc's part given how frequently jc has used his knowledge of wwx (his guilt/grief over jyl, his fear of dogs) to harass and torment him. I just want better for him!! it makes me so upset that authors write a relationship that is objectively going BACK to what was TERRIBLE and acting like it's a happy ending. like wtf!! I thought we moved past this!! wwx is very mature postres and jc simply is not and that's going to inform their dynamic…

behavior: wwx has a mischievous and silly side! he can be juvenile and talkative, and he may flirt to accomplish his goals. he laughs even in serious situations from stress or nerves or to cope, he does joke about his own feelings to avoid confronting them or allowing people to see too deeply into his heart, but but the way fics flanderize him into a nonstop 'gremlin' chatterbox who giggles and flirts all the time drives me up a wall. he has very serious moments of introspection and grief, especially postcanon, and unless it's a very light-hearted story, I think it's important to balance his goofy side with the side that desperately misses or yearns or grieves.but he IS funny and witty too. he quotes literature and poems all the time! most fics don't go as far as to incorporate that, but I think it's important to remember that he is very intelligent, he's very well-read, he's a brilliant academic and inventor, and his mind made connections and crafted theories that nobody in his setting could ever possibly hope to match those tend to be the big ones! some smaller things

he's a little manipulative of his loved ones, depending on the situation

flashback arc he was the vengeful firebrand but postres I just think he's tired. he's actually really chill and forgiving for what they all did to him. he doesn't STOP caring about justice - see yi city - but he's less furious and desperate and frantic, having backup and no longer being in such an impossible position

he liked to roughhouse as a teenager but probably less so as an adult

he understands social cues perfectly well and is extremely intuitive and charismatic. he will do as he's told to prevent humiliation on his sect or to avoid punishment from his abusive authority figures but he doesn't always follow them if he feels strongly enough he shouldn't AND myu isn't there

he obviously adores jyl and is very protective of her, but they're also some of the sillier characters in the show. they goof off together in like a very gentle way. and he acts like a baby with her sometimes because that's the only way he can ask for comfort (from anyone) without being too vulnerable

I don't think wwx would realistically have a relationship with lwj (or anyone) post-BM because anyone who feels his pulse or gets too close could figure out he doesn't have a core

he's a survivalist! he's used to and often prefers to be self-reliant because historically that's the only person he COULD rely on so he only trusts himself, but once lwj starts proving himself he's happy enough to get shelter and food and money lol. I think this transition is uncomfortable for him at times but deep down he does crave safety and a home and security and domesticity, esp postres,

I think postres he's rather nostalgic for CR. despite the rules, he finds it beautiful and his memories there are relatively good. he looked so wistful walking down the paths after waking up in 33/34 (?)

he knows gay people exist and he knows what gay sex is and I feel pretty confident he knows he's into men since flashback arc easily. personally I read him as bi but those categories don't rly exist in the setting so in canonverse there's no wrong sexuality for him to be as long as he's into men

he was very community-focused before the attack on LP! he loved chatting with the vendors and he clearly knew a lot of them personally

he thinks highly of wq but doesn't rly talk about her postres. wen ning he's fond of but in a slightly distant way? authors actually get this one right usually. wen ning gets pushed to the background both in wwx's mind and the narrative. has been there since the BEGINNING but wwx will often forget him or brush him aside in favor of thinking about lwj 😭 he also used him kind of casually as a servant in flashback arc but postres I think he's trying to remind wen ning they're equals.

he actually does have good calligraphy and he's got the lan sect rules memorized! he's also a skilled artist

he may not be a great cook, but he in the flashback he was out hunting birds barehanded for food so he could presumably make it into something edible

kind of a bad teacher? he's good at what he does but he kind of insults the kids and he tells teenagers to get into fights lol. he's not afraid to yell at them. perhaps ironically, he also complains when nobody respects or fears him as the yllz, though he's unhappy when he hears JL and the kids (and jc) hate him :(

in canon he's a little misogynistic calling jin ling 'young mistress' as an insult and all but if it's a modern AU I like to think his strong sense of justice would direct him towards more umm appropriate perspectives

if you're still reading, thank you!! all mistakes are due to the fact that I haven't watched the show in a while, but I'm pretty confident in these readings. just remember he's an extremely nuanced character so you could actually make a lot work for him as long as you link it to something he does in canon and make sure the context all makes sense

hello!! as someone who loves cql wwx, i really love how you defend wwx’s canon characterizarion vs his fanon one. it’s all so good to read like that’s our boy!! so i wanted to ask as someone who wants to write fic from wwx’s pov, do you have any tips or advice? thank you! 💕

hello, anon! thank you! I'm not a writer, but I'm certainly happy to list some things that bother me in fics from a characterization standpoint (1/2)

sense of self-worth: in canon, flashback arc wwx thinks he's hot shit. he is slightly less obnoxious about it postres, but still has a lot of confidence and knows he's an incredibly skilled (and handsome) cultivator. I see a lot of fics where wwx has a super low sense of self-worth - he verbally talks about how he doesn't deserve another chance, how lwj is better than him, how he deserves punishment, etc. and it ends up with lwj needing to constantly reassure him that he's 'good enough' when in reality that's not their dynamic. wwx doesn't want platitudes, he wants tangible emotional and mental support from someone who believes him and has his back and will commit to him even though his reputation is in tatters. he does make enormous sacrifices, but it's less that he doesn't think he's worth anything and more that he considers his moral or familial obligations to be of higher importance. and he does have regrets but postres he truly doesn't want to suffer any more (dying was punishment enough!), and he certainly doesn't think he deserves more. he doesn't like to dwell on the past since it's so painful and he's rather move on but in theory this should wreak havoc on his mental health since he never actually deals with it? this is something canon doesn't explore as much as I'd want it to but I love reading about him coping with the trauma of his entire life after decades of ignoring it.

...and general emotional state wrt lwj: postres his behavior and dynamic with lwj is a little confusing, so honestly I kind of go with whatever the author's interpretation is. personally I see him in the flashback having a big crush, picking up a similar vibe from lwj after a few mishaps and being excited about it, then BAM the war happens, innocence is lost, and he realizes 1. he can't hope to live as a cultivator alongside lwj, ever and 2. lwj will probably reject him for using DC (which...he does), so he takes control and decides to be the one who cuts off that relationship before lwj can, bc having control over the terrible things that happen in his life is that important to him. but ofc they still stay close and I think by BM it's more like "we know how we feel but neither of us can do anything besides what we're doing' and then wwx loses it a bit and can't focus on anything besides the wens and his sister etc. and THEN postres his reluctance to involve himself with lwj is more due to being unsure about how lwj 16 yrs in the future would treat him, his habitual self-reliance and slight mistrust, and a desire to keep lwj safe and his reputation intact. wwx knows that lwj didn't do everything he could have back then, so he's still a little wary until lwj proves himself, AND he's worried lwj will be ruined bc of being associated with the yllz, famously hated mass murderer/heretic

dynamic with jc: hoo boy. I have seen so many authors screw this one up because they're biased towards jc never having done anything wrong, or the yunmeng sibling bond being sacred and unbreakable and or something. people love to write jc being verbally aggressive and even physically abusive to wwx, and wwx being happy because 'it means he cares' or some shit. drives me up a wall. jc is deeply insecure, chronically contemptuous, violently lashes out when angry, and has steeped in bitterness to cope with grief for decades. he has THE most rancid vibes and nobody likes him and wwx is very rightfully sick of his shit, especially postres. and their story is such a crucial example of how the people we're close to can badly hurt us, and the fact that they love us doesn't mean they're not hurting us or that it's okay. the drama softened jc a bit, but canonically to the novel AND the drama, jc and wwx have always had a rocky relationship. recall jc choking him nearly to unconsciousness after the LP attack, for one. the cracks started showing during the wen indoctrination camp, in which wwx wanted to help lwj, his personal friend and another high-ranking sect heir, during the hunt, potentially saving his life, and jc told him repeatedly to leave him behind since he's not family. and jc hunkers down and tries to protect his people alone, while wwx is fundamentally incapable of abandoning people who he could help. this ideological split between them continued through his (mutually agreed-upon) defection from the jiang sect, and came to a head during nightless city. you may recall that jc told wwx to go to hell while wwx was actively in the middle of committing suicide. based on this, the fact that jc then raised jin ling to hate DCers and wwx specifically, the fact that jc tried to immediately kill wwx when he came back, and the fact that he then tortured wwx psychologically using insider knowledge of his fear of dogs, indicates pretty clearly to me that this man is um. not really a safe person for wwx to be around mentally, emotionally, or physically. and wwx himself knows this! he stands up for himself when being tortured, he accuses jc of never changing, he compares jin ling unfavorably to jc, and he complains about jc's juvenile and cruel behavior frequently there are so many jc defenders in this fandom that interpret his behavior and actions as love or trust or simple ignorance, but the fact is that there is a long-established and extremely serious pattern of jc hurting wwx to vent his own anger, frustration, or pain, whether wwx had anything to do with it or not. and ppl talk about him like he's a defenseless victim even when he's a nearly forty-year old sect leader 🤡. not that he hasn't had his own tragedies or his own reasons for acting as he did, and I do see him as a very tragic figure, but the facts are that he's terrible to wwx and wwx knows that, and responds to it. wwx doesn't hate jc but he doesn't want to be hurt by him anymore and after the age of like 15 he would never respond positively to jc treating him like shit. if he was wary around lwj, you can imagine how nervous he is around jc. please, PLEASE if you're writing wwx, don't let this all be forgotten. I do think there's a way for jc and wwx to become close again, and I do think wwx has forgiven jc if not forgotten the hurt he's caused him, but a HUGE part of wwx's journey is finding and staying with someone he loves who's safe, who cares about him and will prioritize him and won't hurt him.

part two coming up!

[femmefatalevibe]

Hi hon, could you talk more about finding my own ‘dream girl archetype’ & creating ‘my personal manifesto’ as you mentioned in this post? 💌🌹

Gladly! Some notes on creating your own dream girl archetype and personal manifesto are below. Lmk if you need anything else x

How To Build Your Own Dream Girl Archetype: 

Reflect on your role models: These can be TV characters, celebrities, public figures, or, even better, those you look up to in real life. What qualities and characteristics about them do you admire and want to emulate? Is it their poise, work ethic, their personal strength, confidence, style, general aesthetic, lifestyle, cultural affiliations, career, and hobbies? Make a list of these people or characters with bullet points under each one. If you find a lot of commonalities and find certain qualities on multiple lists, place them on a separate list – this list will become the framework for your dream girl archetype.

Get introspective: After gaining some inspiration from those you admire, it’s essential to look inside yourself to acknowledge the characteristics and personality traits you like about yourself, your natural talents, skillset, and your motivation for wanting to become your dream girl – this desire for self-growth and perseverance should make it onto the list if you’re still reading this! Think about the compliments you receive, especially those that you regularly get from different people who don’t know each other. I find that these types of comments help us learn the most about how we’re perceived in the world. Add all of these characteristics, personality traits, talents, skillsets, etc. to your list. 

Acknowledge your dark side: Get comfortable with your shadow self. If you have certain traits or habits holding you back from being your ideal self (i.e. people pleasing, self-sabotage, procrastinating, etc.), become curious and reflect on why you engage in these behaviors or uphold this mindset. Strategize ways to unlearn these characteristics and ways you move through the world that no longer serves you. Create a plan to dig yourself out of these self-destructive thought patterns and actions. Read books, speak with a therapist (if you can), and start journaling to come up with creative solutions to make changes in your daily life to prioritize yourself. Set up your environment in ways to help you win. Own your indulgent side - it makes you human. The sooner you align with your guilty pleasures, the better you get at indulging in them strategically. Have a small sweet treat every day if needed. Keep emotional distance from toxic loved ones. Make your feelings about your current hot hookup self-referential. Block out time to watch your favorite show.

Assert an active role in your life: Create healthy habits to make you feel good. Stop craving others’ approval – no one can be as happy for you as you are for yourself when you succeed. It’s okay to remind yourself we’re all a bit narcissistic – it’s human nature. 

Construct your higher self: Once you’ve acknowledged the qualities you need to internalize to become your ideal self, discover the external qualities and habits you need to cultivate to build your dream girl. What does she wear, what’s her career, how does she speak, work through issues, engage in conversation? What are her habits like? Her morning and night routine? What does she read, watch, and listen to? What’s her social life like? How does she spend her leisure time? What does her space look like, her beauty, diet, and self-care routine? What quotes does she live by? Does she know other languages or about certain topics? How do others speak about her? Create as many inspiration boards and lists, journal entries, etc. as you need until you unlock all of these answers. You will know when some new characteristic, routine, or aesthetic resonates. 

How To Write Your Personal Manifesto: 

Essentially, this document (can be a journal entry, notes app entry, Google doc, etc.) is an amalgamation of your values, principles, habits, and boundaries. It’s a written reminder to yourself of who you truly are, decide to be, and promise to yourself to stick by your values no matter who tries to tear you down. 

Create a mission statement of your ideal self and the qualities that validate this narrative. Essentially, practice the law of assumption by creating a series of personally-tailored affirmations that describe your self-concept and the woman you choose to be. 

Write out all of the qualities listed above that you admire about yourself and emulate in your daily life. Affirm this self-concept. Feel free to use specific personal affirmations and attach related behaviors to your self-affirming characteristics (i.e. I make it my mission to show up with class and confidence in every area of my life. I’m mindful of how I speak to others, choose my words carefully – in person or in writing – and consider the feelings of the other person when engaging in conversation. I take my appearance seriously and aim to embody a seductive and alluring presence. I maintain a healthy diet, make almost all of my meals from fresh ingredients, go on long walks daily to take care of my body, tailor my closet with streamlined clothes made of high-quality fabrics that fit my body well, indulge in my makeup and beauty routines daily alongside wearing my signature scent. I’m an intellectual whose dedicated to learning more about the world every day – I read at least 10 pages of psychology, personal development, or a business-related book daily, etc.). 

List out your boundaries and non-negotiables with yourself. Feel free to get specific with your boundaries to include all aspects of your life – with your work, family, friends, intimate relationships, dating, food, style, self-care habits, etc. Validate your needs. Add your ‘why’ to each of these boundaries and priorities to help you internalize them and to motivate yourself to uphold these standards despite any self-doubt or external criticisms. 

[faejilly]

so I wanted to riff off of @alexanderlightweight's response to the Alec/Bow/Quiver/summoning meta post by @ralfstrashcan that I reblogged recently, but also I didn't want it to get lost in an increasingly long reblog chain, so I'm gonna quote and start over here:

100%

my headcanon is that it's alec's shadowhunter ability like clary's rune ability and apparently the herondale ghost talking ability(??)

if we really want to take it a step further. we can even talk about how izzy has specially made weapons that have to be super tricky to use which means weapons ability

but that's just my brain. which made that one scene where alec goes back to the institute make no sense, to retrieve his bow because literally every other time he doesn't need to (they just wanted to give clace the training moment and set up the whole hodge thing)

1: I also think Alec's 'have to go get a bow' is just an excuse, but he's using it to a) get away from Jace behaving incomprehensibly & Clary being So Very Clary, AND b) to cover their tracks now that he's realized just HOW comprehensively his siblings are going to go off the rails in the next day or so. (And on a narrative level I really like the scene with Hodge so I'm glad it exists. 😅)

2: I headcanon that part of the reason Alec (& to a lesser extent but still noticeably so, Izzy) can get away with pushing so many Clave/Nephilim boundaries without actually getting deruned despite their parents being on Thin Fucking Ice™️ with well, everyone, is that they have inherited both Family Traits and that's valuable enough (especially after all the losses during and after the Uprising) that the Clave really really doesn't want to get rid of them.

(Similarly, there's some hope that Jace and/or his expected children might show signs of the Wayland traits coming to life again as they've died out otherwise. Obviously that goes a bit sideways once they finally pick up on How Very Herondale he is, but luckily he's Herondale so that's still a benefit.)

Truebloods: very literally truth-tellers. Variations on their skills include the ability to recognize lies, off the charts charisma when they are invoking what they believe to be the truth, and an ability to make the most awkward truths palatable to audiences that normally wouldn't want to engage with them. They were traditionally the guardians of the Soul Sword whenever it left the City of Bones, but that honor faded away over the years as the Council with the Consul/Inquisitor as heads centralized power in their own hands.

Izzy can be seen doing this during her trial, because even when her personal behavior has included digs & microaggressions against Downworlders, she believes that they as a people can and should do better and her speech clearly works in-universe because of that resonance of truth.

(She even occasionally manages the sincere/heart-felt clunky dialogue that works despite being clunky that Alec's so good at, and poor Jace doesn't, despite his best attempts, because for all he's a Lightwood in every other way that matters, he's not actually part Trueblood.)

Maryse has several hints of Alec's same blunt (inexplicably successful) sincerity once she lets herself stop hiding behind Politics & Expectations. When she's upset with Izzy about spending time with the Seelie in s1, she has a line that always felt very self-recriminating to me; (I'm paraphrasing here since I'm too lazy to pull up the script or episode): 'never trust a people who can't lie, they'll find more imaginative ways to stab you in the back'. She knows this about the Seelie because it's what she's always done.

(Alec's shock at his parents being in the Circle can't be because it's against their politics as they've never really tried to behave better. Perhaps it's because it never occurred to him that they could lie that well. Especially his mother, since he has a much better relationship with her than Robert.)

This means that Maryse buying into Valentine's rhetoric was invaluable to him, because she could back him up and help make sure people would fall for it, because she was a Trueblood. Equally, when she turns, that is part of why the Clave lets them back in. Her vow to now toe the party line is completely believable, because she promised on her children... who are also Truebloods.

This also means that their bloodline is one that would not always be popular since they can call out power when it's behaving badly; thus the apparent decline of Trueblood standing in the way that the show refuses to ever really acknowledge it in the present day timeline, and instead talks about Lightwood honor.

(But countered in the way The Clave doesn't move directly against Alec Lightwood, HotI, despite gay and living with a Downworlder, despite how much clear disdain he has for so many of them and their policies. They aren't willing to risk what a Trueblood could do if pushed into active rebellion.)

Lightwoods have a much more palatable martial gift. Their affinity for the adamas in their weapons means they can bond with them, sometimes strongly enough to summon them, manipulate them in the field, adapt them and rune them and enhance them in ways most Shadowhunters can't. (We never see anyone doing anything resembling Alec runing his arrows in s1 after all. What if most of them can't?)

As shown by Izzy in s3 as Weapon's Master, in Alec's ability to beat his parabatai (the supposed best fighter of a generation) when they're sparring with weapons even if he loses once they get to hand-to-hand, Izzy's unique skill with a whip, Alec fighting with everything he gets his hands on, from seraph blades to his signature bow to actual arrows for stabbing. (As seen in everything in ralf's original meta post and delightful fic.)

There's even something in the fact that Izzy was interested in joining the Iron Sisters (which while prestigious also involves even more sacrifice from a people who have to sacrifice a lot already and are thus vital enough that they let Cleophas join despite her past because they needed her) and yet Izzy stayed active duty -- and presumably eventually marriageable.

(I frequently wonder if part of why she chose to make herself as unpalatable as possible for a traditional/political match was a lingering bit of awareness that that was what The Clave most wanted from her, regardless of who she wanted to be.)

ALSO! There has to be a reason that Robert Lightwood was valuable enough to keep even when they got rid of Maryse, a reason the show reiterates Lightwood honor over and over again, a reason he & Maryse got to be co-Heads of an Institute (even if the general fanon that they were more constrained than most Proper Heads does fit what little we see), and we never actually see Robert fighting or sparring, but we are repeatedly told that his children are the best of the best.

But it's seldom mentioned as a compliment, is it? More like an expectation. They're Lightwoods, they have to be the best with their weapons, or what is the point of them? It's just another weight added to Alec's so-called crown, another expectation Izzy has to both flaunt and fight against every day so she can have at least a little bit of herself left to hold onto.

(The one thing Jace is good at, the one bit of the monster his father built that helps; he's as good with a blade as a Lightwood. It's the only thing that gives him hope for redemption, the only thing that gives him enough conviction to ask Alec to be his parabatai and protect his soul from himself.)

[kariachi]

Guess who has Save the Last Dance words this morning?

That’s all the warning you’re getting.

Because here’s the thing, I was raising an eyebrow at the shit Gwen pulled early in the episode already, back when it aired. Because Kevin doesn’t actually ask her out- he asks if she’s looking for him to take her to an event, she decides ‘that’s good enough’ gives him a time to pick her up and immediately fucks off, presumably in case he tries to clear up the ‘misunderstanding’ given later shit (you know we’ll get there), and then Kevin rolls with it because he does like her- and her purposefully misunderstanding him is, to put it simply, fucking rude. Who raised this child?

And then we realize that this happens the day before the dance, and this is a point where we very much hit ‘viewer experiences affect how they engage with text’ territory because I was an American teenager at the time this episode aired. I was an American teenager who had been to four different high schools. None of them were you bringing a last minute date who did not go to the school. That shit required paperwork, parent signatures, shit submitted at least a week in advance. And I am aware that this is probably a post-9/11 thing, and that the writers were probably all in at least their thirties, but, still takes a bitch out of the allure when they’re going ‘that poor guy’s gonna go through all this work to get turned away at the door because he’s not on the guest list.’

‘Either that or Gwen did all this shit ahead of time, which would be fucking creepy.’

But, let us put that aside, personal experiences coloring shit, yadda yadda, yackimy-smackity. This girl describes herself as having “made him ask me to the dance”. Quote from the episode, when she’s gunning for sympathy from Julie because she’s worried he might not show.

And she didn’t make him, because he didn’t ask her, but she did purposefully misunderstand him. Actually, one second, a quote from me from my rewatch of this episode-

“Ever since I made him ask me to the dance“ you didn’t even do that!!! He asked if you wanted him to ask you and you responded with a time for him to pick you up! Which, by the way, really fucking rude! And presumptive! And now you’re being all “oh but now he’s acting weird” you should be grateful he’s having anything to do with you. People with more self esteem would’ve taken that for the red flag it fucking is and backed off entirely!”

But what gets me about her saying that, really digs under the skin, is that her describing herself like that? Says a lot about her attitude going into the situation. Because, again, he didn’t ask her out, she didn’t ‘make him’ do shit. The proper phrasing, that I as a writer would use if I didn’t want my character to look like an asshole, would be ‘got him to’. Because ‘made him’ brings across the idea that the matter has been forced. And for Gwen to use it when she didn’t force the matter, after what we already saw, says to me that she intended to. Otherwise why would her brain be in the space to use that wording? Unless she’s realized she was being rude, overstepping set boundaries, and feels bad about it, but it’d be a first for her in AF and even then why not fucking say that? It’d be just as easy to have Gwen going ‘I’m worried I might have overstepped’ as it is to have her go ‘I’m worried Kevin’s gonna stand me up’. Or have her apologize at some point for being pushy, and then you could’ve had Kevin forgiving her and it could’ve been a really sweet moment letting them move forward with clear air and definitely on the same page.

But again, that’s assuming she uses the phrase ‘made him’ from a place of guilt or regret. Which we get no indication is the case. In which case, whether she did it or not, her own words imply that she may not have intended to accept a ‘no’ from Kevin on this. Which, given her behavior in All That Glitters, laughing at and ignoring a basic boundary while very very much trying to pressure Kevin into making a move, isn’t all that outlandish a possibility.

Which hits even harder when you consider, again, personal experience impacting engagement with the text. Because one really solid way to force the matter would be to have gone through all that effort ahead of time, and have that there to pull out as a ‘I went through all this and you’re going to make it a waste’. Which is very unlikely to be intended, but a very viable interpretation.

Even without it though, again, there’s the implication Gwen intended to try to force a date out of Kevin with this dance. It’s even entirely possible that part of her phrasing is that her plan was to just tell him when to pick her up and go no matter what he said there, essentially voluntelling him to come to the dance with her, in which case her plan went off as intended and so was her ‘making’ him ask her out. It’s entirely possible that if anything being able to interpret his words as asking her out, even if he clearly wasn’t, made her more secure in her decision to do that, which would’ve made him acting ‘weird’ hit harder and more something to whinge at poor Julie about.