#<- for the ramblings of hunting and stuff

[transman-badass]

It's three am, why not ramble about my stuff I guess.

I've got two completed horror short stories on itch right now, both part of two series that I'm working on.

Friend of the Damned is a epistolary gothic horror story about grief and deception. Set in a Victorian inspired world of eternal night, it stars Owen Rosedown, a young trans man who is asked by his cousin to investigate a grieving medium called Miss Dartmere. Miss Dartmere's fiance and mentor died before their wedding but the cousin, a medium herself, hasn't seen much of the dead woman's spirit. With this information, Owen follows the sound of broken glass and finds himself trapped in a room with three hostile "betters" and the medium herself. The dead woman howls for help... But is everything all it seems?

This story is set in my Runner Owen series. The overarching plot is about Owen and his relationship with the vampire hunting Prince Aurum, who he serves, and Aurum's rival, the mysterious and ancient vampire known as the Scarred Man. You can find more over at my half assed blog for the series @runner-owen

Lock The Last Door is a Cthulhu Mythos story. Yes really. No knowledge of the Mythos needed to read it but it does help a little. Set in 1930 within the New England town of Arkham, it's a noir heavy piece starring Lazarus Core, a trans private detective, and his rival, the crime lord Harlan Thompson. Sent to find a runaway youth, Lazarus finds himself trapped in a tiny house by his nemesis, who wants him to figure out a small mystery. But it's Lazarus who is the biggest mystery of all, and his secrets are starting to unravel...

Pharaoh Syndicate Investigations is my Cthulhu Mythos series. It's about Lazarus Core, private detective, and Carmine Mason, his best friend, going up against Harlan Thompson, the crime syndicate leader who runs the city. Would be a fairly standard noir plot, had this been any other story. Instead, in "witch-haunted" Arkham, Harlan Thompson serves forces man was not meant to know, and our MCs find themselves trapped between him, the university professors who run the resistance against him, and the unknowable. It's fun!

All my fiction features trans masc MCs. I do not shy away from showing transphobia in various forms but it's never extreme, or at least isn't right now. Sexism and racism are also things to be aware of, the latter especially in PSI. Both stories involve death, violence and body horror in various amounts.

You can find these two right here:

Current WIPs I'm working on!

Smut with Owen and Prince Aurum. Like it's just pure smut

Body horror fantastic with Lazarus and Carmine helping a woman named Judith escape from a cult

A rewrite of my first PSI story, The Darkness in Old Bellblack

Wisteria House, a classic gothic romance novel with even more vampires!

Okay that's, that's about it I think. Thank you for reading and I hope you're doing well!

I am genuinely wanting to read some works from other writers. This is your opportunity to shamelessly plug your WIP or completed work :)))

Bonus points: you yap to me about your story and characters. I am desperate need of a good literary yap session

[tojisun]

cuddle in the stuffie pile is my dream 🥺 the sharks will keep us safe! also you should totally get an orca stuffie but maybe i’m biased hehe.

vodka slush?? i haven’t had one of those!! how do you make one? oh goodness i’m gonna have to get a drink for tomorrow night! patiently waiting for the day when there’s more emojis and the orca is part of it ):

honestly that sounds like such a bad ass way to introduce them and they’re so powerful like i love them so so much. i wanna go watch this documentary now or something similar. i just get so sad watching them bc the babies always get into trouble. like i was watching prehistoric planet about dinosaurs and one of the babies got eaten and its like im feeling so sad about a baby from hundreds of millions of years ago…. ):

but orcas being more studied and classified and !!!! that makes me happy.

the sharks will keep us safe yes!!! i have a big big one that actually covers about half of my bed so yk we’re cGed and protected 🙂‍↕️

im planning on getting an orca one but i cant find one that looks soft enough so might just wait out on that one :(

VODKA SLUSH honestly idk how my friend does it (in measures) but its basically finely crushed ice, vodka, green apple soju, and melona ice cream. it upset my stomach the first time i tried it but then i got obsessed :’>

the documentary is called “blue whales: the return of the giants” bc its about the researchers trying to see if theres a sign of life of blue whales, particularly the babies!, in this region (which was a popular spot for hunting of blue whales back in the time) and when the orcas appeared, the researchers agreed that thats not a good sign because theyre the apex predator. but there are blue whales there! theyve returned and it was so 🥹

oh yea the babies always make me so :( like i saw this documentary of orcas stealing a baby humpback from its mom by following the swimming patterns of the mom humpback and the baby was confused so it didnt fight back! the narrators dont go into the details of what happened but it does get you a lil stumped yk

but yes this new development (because it was only released in may of this year) for orcas is so thrilling!! one of the diffs between bigg’s and residents i remember was where they swim. thing was, they swim in the same waters, what differed was the distance. idk which one swims farther than the other, so it also affects their diet and their hunting styles which, for a while, they thought was only caused by different cultures within each families, not bc theyre diff species!

hhhh sorry for the word vomit again 😔 and thank u sm for chatting w me!!!!

[lazylittledragon]

so uhhhhhhhh. not to be cryptic and bitchy on main but congratulations to everyone in my messages for like 5 months on being right i guess

[bvckbiter]

fandom talks too little about hylla and reyna. reyna killed her father when she thought he'd killed hylla. hylla dragged them out of puerto rico and found them sanctuary and employment on circe's island AND became one of circe's favorites. then when they got captured by blackbeard hylla also got them out of that situation by out-pirating literal immortal pirates. then in a span of three years, they split up, found their own ways to the amazons and cj, and became the leaders of their respective factions. when hylla's queenship was being threatened by otrera in son, she plotted a counter-coup and defeated an amazon queen who couldn't die two nights in a row in one-on-one combat, THEN led her cavalry to camp jupiter. (ik this woman slept like a corpse for a week afterwards). hylla used reyna as an absolutely ruthless bait-and-switch to capture orion, and all reyna said in response to that was, "bet." reyna carries insurmountable amounts of both guilt and gratitude towards her sister. even though they havent seen each other in a while, hylla still drops everything and does everything in her power to save her baby sister when she knows reyna needs her.

[somnimagus]

My page for @kairizine. It was such a huge honor to be part of this wonderful book with everyone, I had so much fun!

[id in alt!]

[dreamyblanket]

Sorry guys, wafer on the brain, it's terminal u.u

Anyway, I'll elaborate on this in the tags bc omg I'm going to yap your metaphorical ear off.

[rooksamoris]

i want everyone to know that when i played twisted wonderland for the very first time and the option to take a character's hand came, i spent thirty minutes trying to figure out who my favorite was after skimming through everyone (at this point i had been reading translations in before the eng server went live) and then i found myself stuck at pomefiore staring down a certain blonde bob having mfer.

i saw this face standing beside vil and epel and thought to myself, "god why is he staring at me like that." originally, since i was not too far into the story via the translations, i was gonna go with jamil or kalim because i love my scarabia boys and like brown people unite or whatever, but rook was just staring me down like that. rook hunt, the man you are. i knew very little about him and yet my heart started racing. i decided to say 'you know what, fuck it. i need this man carnally for some odd reason.' and so i took his hand and rook ceremonial robes became my first ever card in the game.

now things have spiraled into me reading everything i can about him, collecting merch, thinking about him all the time, analyzing all of his cards, paying attention to vil when he says things like "rook you've bulked up for beansfest", giggling whenever i see something in french, deciding to go ahead in get my art minor because he made me miss art a lot, reading an ungodly amount of romantic arabic poetry, collecting khalil gibran's works because his writing reminds me so much of rook, painting him in oils and watercolors like its the nineteenth century and he is my long lost flame, deciding to do two master degree programs in history in literature, going ahead and studying french more seriously, and even writing sonnets/prose about him to turn in for my creative writing courses.

these unhinged screenshots exist because of his goofy ass. im so embarrassing wtf. he did this to me.

[racingliners]

Lewis Hamilton & Mercedes

12 Seasons, 246 Races

6 World Drivers Championships, 8 World Constructors Championships

84 Race Wins, 78 Pole Positions

153 Podiums, 3949.5 Points

4210 Laps Led, 55 Fastest Laps

[mscherub]

Witchy Ways 🕸️

Reader is gender neutral, referred to as Prefect, Y/N, Henchhuman(by Grim)

Warnings!:

My writing cause what was I doing while writing this—

Swearing

Half proof read

Part 4: “The Umbrella and the Black Cat.”

Previous part here <3

Next part here <3 (TBD)

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Part 4: “The Umbrella and the Black Cat.”

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The thing to do now…hide away, maybe? With those readings you got, you’re put on edge, that prickly feeling on the back of your neck people usually get when someone is watching them, though, you’re not sure if you’re actually being watched or not. That’s also concerning. So, now this, and the fear of your own practice, it’s like this world you’ve gotten plopped in to is taunting you or something!

Feels like it for sure. And, you guess now knowing something else is coming your way in the future, things aren’t looking too bright. Up your protection spell magic maybe? It’d certainly be the most beneficial option for your safety right now…damn, having to think of your own safety in general is just a wild thing.

Part of you doesn’t want to believe the symbols you seen, instead of taking them as insightful ones, which is how they are supposed to be taken, they seem more like warnings…or threats, both are plausible answers. And going back to the whole idea of your magic acting up the way it is here, it’s safe to say you can’t just push the thought away or take what you got with a grain of salt.

To even attempt to get these raging thoughts to cease, you’re bordering the edge of the forest by ramshackle, foraging for certain herbs while, in hopes of even finding any, and dangerously close to just banging your head off a tree. Money was, as usual, very tight, so here you are poking around and trying to scrap together any herbs you can find to make your own little protection charms to carry around on you.

“Ahhh…what am I gonna do? Maybe not think about it? Like I could do that…this is really, really cumbersome…” As if talking to yourself would give you an answer, but it honestly helps to clear your mind a bit more and get your thoughts set straight. You carry a little satchel, messing with the drawstrings on the bag as you scout around.

“Weighing the options of safety…I mean for sevens sake, it’s never safe for me here anyways, but thats not…ughhh! It’s one thing after the other anymore.” You mutter again as you bend down and look at a plant…it’s spiky and an awkward blue color, and almost looks like it’s pulsating. This is definitely not a plant you’re accustomed to. Maybe it’d be easier to just go rob the Botanical Gardens because you are not getting too far over here. Though, you’d have to avoid the people frolicking around in there, like the science club kids, sevens forbid you run into Rook, you’re just screwed at that point, or Leona, but he probably wouldn’t care, scratch that, he wouldn’t. Just in and out for what you need, walk in like you own the place and people won’t question!

With a quick look around, scanning the area and deeming it safe to head off to your destination, you start off your little journey. There are easier ways to do protection spells, yes, but your magic is a little unpredictable so to speak, and maybe something like a little protection spell jar or charm would work better, and for a longer period of time for you. For now, however, just drawing a pentacle with your own saliva on the back of your hand should be enough for now, hopefully. You kinda know your own magic…kind of…

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The botanical gardens are always nicely kept, the plant variety that’s housed in here is definitely in the 100’s, and it’s always nice to come here and look at the various life forms when you quite literally have nothing else to do. You walk along the paths that twist and turn in search of the items you need for just a simple protection satchel…you didn’t have an jars left, so you had to make do with what you had, easy since that’s the way to go anyways!

The organization system of the whole place was usually followed to a T, the rest of the science experiments being done kept away in their own little section and keeping them from cluttering with the other plants. You find “row” R, and you walk down, looking for rosemary, which shouldn’t be that difficult to find. You know, it is kind of calming in the gardens, of course because of how peaceful it can be. You can see how Leona can fall asleep in here—

“Ah! Bonjour, Trickster! What a delightful surprise to see you here!”

Ignore him.

Just…pretend he’s not there. Can’t hear him. You stiffen up and you look down at the rosemary plant which you just managed to find…why now?

“Trickster?” His voice drops slightly and you nod, giving in and turning around to face him.

“Heyyyyy, Rook…” you force a smile. You have to stop thinking of situations in your head because clearly they’re gonna come true.

He smiles back and clasps his hands together, his eyes narrowing. “What is your reason for being here today, alone nonetheless? I see Monsieur Fuzzball isn’t accompanying you on this fine and gorgeous afternoon?”

“He’s just with the duo, like usual. He’s uh, I’ve been dropping him off there a lot lately, I’ve been busy…”

“I see, yet that still doesn’t explain the fact that you are here.”

Why is this man on to you in an instant? Can’t you just be left alone for once? In all reality you knew that couldn’t happen, but I guess it’s time to lie— again. “I’m just trying to get things for, erm— skin care! Yea! That’s it! Skin care, mhmmm! Rosemary is anti inflammatory, did ya know that? Also promotes hair growth…I was just gonna take a little is all. You know me, money is not my uh, not my friend cause it likes to avoid me. Yea.” Convincing enough.

“Ou la la! Why forage around for such items when Rou du Poison has the items already processed that you are in search of! I guarantee that his products will be better than any others, though it is just beautiful to see how hard at work you appeared to be while searching! Ah! Beauté how you try to conserve and take matters into your own hands!” He was as eccentric as ever, clearly.

He slips his hand to the upper part of your back and drags you along out of the gardens, conversing with you the entire time as he drags you off to Pomefiore grounds which never fail to be breathtaking, but also frightening since you know who runs them.

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“You never fail to surprise me.” Vil quickly states after he hears the reiteration of what you were doing from Rook, who, sits looking too happy at the moment, a smile wide across his face.

“Well, I apologize for not squandering my money off—“

“Exactly, you don’t have money to do that. But are you so humble that you can’t bother to ask help from others? Especially with matters that I expertise in, genuinely, Prefect, you are quite odd.” He sighs as he inspects his nails, uncrossing his legs then standing up. His heels click against the ground as he gets closer to you, his eyes critical as he looks over your features. You were stressed so if you looked a little off that would be why.

“What would you like? I can give you a rundown on your skin type if you’d like. Here, follow along.” And you’re dragged off again. Vil takes you to his room and sits you down promptly at his vanity and he begins to test multiple products on your arms and back of your hands like some guinea pig, but it was all in the best of interest for your skin, obviously.

“Which do you like better of the products? I have a lot procured to multiple skin types…I have to have them on hand for any of my dorm members. And now respectively you, of course.” He hums softly as he begins to take the bottles of products that matched and reacted well with your skin and he ushered you up and brought you to the bathroom to wash your face.

This was not how you intend to spend your afternoon. Not that you were fully against the entire situation, it just wasn’t ideal for the problem you have at hand, the one problem only you know about, but still! Out of all the things you said to Rook you had to say skincare. You could have said cooking and he’d have probably left you alone.

“Pat dry, don’t do anything else, it’ll disrupt and irritate the skin.” He chides as he strolls out of the bathroom and back to his vanity, spinning the chair to face your direction. “Chop chop.”

Toner first, he applies it and lets it sink into your pores while he gets multiple bottles of serums and lists each effect, but you don’t have the effort to actually listen in and understand the properties. Off of serums then on to eye cream, placed prospectively under the eyes.

“Have you been sleeping well? Your eye bags are rather defined. Drink more water and sleep a minimum of 8 hours. No less than that.” Was all this necessary? Coming from him you knew it was just Vil being Vil, helping those around him so they could achieve beauty just like him, but in their own ways, and he was good at it.

“Moisturizer. I’d hope I don’t have to explain this.” He dots some around your face before he moves on to squirting some sunscreen and rubbing it in.

“Done. Did you mention something for your hair as well? At least from what Rook had interpreted your story to say…”

“Actually, no! Haha, just skincare, I gotta go, but uh, thank you?” You quickly interject.

“I see. Take these products then, and come back to me when they empty. Stay on top of your skincare or I will find you myself and remind you of the importance with a lecture.” He smiles, though his reminder is enough to get anybody to not think twice about it. He pushes the little basket of products into your hands.

“Of course! I’m just— I’m gonna go. Ok, bye.” You stand up quickly and you leave his room. Your skin is now soft and bouncy, revitalized, but that doesn’t really change anything about your predicament.

“Prefect!” Epel shouts from behind. You turn around and look at him.

“Hey…”

“The hell happened to you? Oh. Another Victim of Vil’s…you’ll get used to it.” He sighs, nodding along to say he understands. “I just wanna ask you about that jar you made! You think you can make any others like it…but you know, with different effects and in a different container? I’d like to carry one on me for a spell drive game…I tired to do that and I opened the bottle you gave—“

“You opened it?” You tilt your head.

“Yea? I was just gonna try and put the contents into a little baggie but…it stopped working. I dunno what you had set in place on that.” He purses his lips, moving his hands behind his back and smiling again. “I dunno…I’d just…like another one. It was a really helpful thing to have on hand!”

“Epel…it doesn’t work anymore because you broke the wax seal, and another possibility is that…” your voice drops down to a whisper as you think, “I didn’t put much intention into the jars to last for more than just a few days…”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. Yea, just don’t break the wax seal is all…” you clear your throat.

“Why’s that, though?”

Why does everybody have to question you anymore? “It kinda…how to word it? Gets rid of the effects?” That’s barely any information on it, but it sounds plausible.

“Huh, ok then. Can you make me another then?”

“I’ll think about it.” You nod. Epel gives you a happy closed eye grin and nods.

“Thanks!” His face almost instantly contorts to some sort of evil look and he smirks, chuckling as he narrows his eyes. “If I get that then I’ll beat them RSA suckers next time we play em! I can’t wait to see the look on their faces, and I’d get MVP of the game.” He snickers to himself. Ok, buddy, have fun with that.

You nod one last time and you finally, finally leave. Second times a charm for the botanical gardens, maybe?

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With the basket resting in the crook of your elbow as you walk, not had having enough time nor care to drop it off at Ramshackle, you head back to the gardens, back down the paths, back to row R, and back to the damn rosemary plant. You crouch down and you pick off a branch or two and stuff it into the satchel, worrying about processing it all later. Now to section L, and lo and behold, in the middle a tall laurel tree, but fate throwing more problems at you and most likely dying of laughter as it watches you suffer, ironically enough, another thing beginning with the letter L is also there, but it’s not a plant.

Leona and his “clever” sleeping spots never fail to surprise anybody. Tiptoeing around him wasn’t an option, cause he’d hear you, and he’s kinda in your way of climbing up and shaking down a few leaves. Whatever, you’re not letting anything else get in your way now, and especially not for one of the most prominent ingredients you needed. Bay leaves, also widely known to be as equivalently lucky to a shooting star, make a wish upon a bay leaf then burn it, and give it back to nature after. You were gonna use it for its protective properties, however.

You walk up to the thick base of the tree and kick against the side of it, the action causing Leona’s ears to flick and his tail to twitch as he cracks open one of his eyes to, oh so nicely, glare at you.

“What.” He murmurs gruffly, definitely irritated already.

“For one, hello to you two, and secondly, since you’re like already kinda perched up there…get me some leaves off the tree…I need them for uh…cooking.”

“Just go to Sam’s shop and buy some.” He yawns, turning away from you to face the other direction. “They’d be better anyways…already dried out, too…”

“That’s…bro you know I’m fucking broke and can’t spend my money on that, so can’t you do a nice thing for me? I’ll climb up there myself and step on you, so choose the better option…” you meet him back with the same attitude.

“You’re annoying today, huh?” He scoffs as his tail gives a warning flick, but he sits up and glares at you as he grabs his pen and uses his magic to send down—

And now there’s leaves everywhere. He smirks and he slips the pen away and gets back into a comfortable position, falling asleep again almost instantly and leaving you alone to look at the mess of leaves and branches on the ground. Whatever, this still works…you grab what you need and flip him off as you walk away, even if he can’t see.

You manage to gather the other things you need without too much trouble, then being the easier items such as the lavender and sage, easy and not that questionable. Students gave you many quick glances and eager hushed whispers as they watched you “rob,” which technically in this case could be considered borrowing, from the plants. But honestly, who cares, so long as people don’t know your main secret, all you have to say to them is: Fuck em! You don’t have any more left to give today…

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Hammer in hand you drive a nail into the wood on the outside of Ramshackle. The makeshift stool you’re standing on is…well, not super stable, but it gets the job done. You hang the horseshoe you got just a day ago right above the door in the middle, and of course you cleansed it before you hung it up, it’s just basic protocol anymore from being so on edge.

“Well, let’s see those readings come true now thanks to this bad boy hanging up above my door! I think this is the first time I’ve been happy in a while—“

“Henchhuman, why’re ya talking to yourself, and what are you hanging up?” Grim pipes up as he looks up at you…but it’s also not just him. Ace and Deuce stand behind him, looking up at you as well, clearly a thing or two on their mind that they want to say to you.

“You guys weren’t supposed to be back for like another 10 minutes…”

“But here we are.” Grim sighs.

“This,” you say as you motion to the horseshoe, “cultural thing. That’s what this is, don’t ask anymore questions. Shut up!” You spit out as you step down, looking up at your handiwork. Ace lets out a puff of air and stalks closer to you, looking up at the odd thing.

“We didn’t say anything though—“

“I’m just saying don’t ask. I wanted a…touch of home from back home, exactly. Thanks for bringing Grim back, now byeeee, I’m busy.” You pick up the stool and heave it back inside, Grim shrugging to the two boys and following along behind you.

“So, what happened today?” You question him as you walk into the lounge and head over to the mantel, checking over a few things and dusting away a thin layer of dust that somehow already was managing to form.

“They just complained the whole time about those jars ya made, said they stopped working, and then they did a deep dive as to how they even worked…it was a painful conversation I had to sit through, and no compensation or payment of tuna, either!”

Huh? Deep dived into the topic?

“What did they say about how the jars worked?” You slow down in your movements and peer over your shoulder towards Grim who was laying lazily on the couch.

“Dunno, tuned em out, but they said some stupid thing that you had a student enchant it, but they’re dumb cause I didn’t trace a single bit of magic on em. Then they went off that and started saying you enchanted it yourself, which couldn’t be possible since you didn’t have magic. I told em that.” He hums.

“And…they believed you?” You murmur as you walk over to the couch and sit down. “I mean…I don’t have magic…”

“They’re iffy about it, said they don’t know your world so they don’t know what actually goes on there or what you know. They’re just big doofuses…anyways, I need tuna, I’m hungry.” He hoists himself up and goes into the kitchen.

He stops midway and turns to you again, “oh, and Ace went around mouthing away to people about everything again.” And then he goes off.

That’s a lot of information in one go, and in such a nonchalant way, as well. The black cat…gossip, and if you really look into all the things that happened today, the umbrella, difficulty while you were trying to get the simple shit you needed for a protection spell. Yea…

Ok, distraction time, you know an easy way to be protected, you just have to get a little creative. You get up and grab one of your notebooks before heading upstairs.

Incense is lit and you take a seat in the armchair and begin to draw out a circle and label it with letters going around the perimeter. You write down the words “Strong Protection,” crossing out vowels and repeating letters, being left with “Strngptc” as your jumble of letters. Back to the circle, you draw lines and curves from each letter, making a simplified sigil. It’s still a sigil and will work how you intended it since intention is key. You move on to another group of words, just for a boost of confidence to hopefully hide any evidence of stress, you write down “Beauty and Rejuvenation.” Easier said than done.

You slap these sigils onto the skincare package Vil gave you and go through every step in order that he had applied all the products to your skin. Wash, uh, toner, serum, eye cream, yea? Whatever, then moisturizer and then look in the mirror and— well damn.

You certainly looked a lot better now, and felt a sense of calm. Even after what Vil had done for you just hours earlier, you honestly thought that looked good and helped out just a tiny bit, but you just amplified the products by like 50% and also while adding in the bonus of protection…it’s like you’re a whole new person…glamour magic is no joke, huh? You’ve outdone yourself, props to you.

That’s probably enough worrying for one day…at least for now that is. Maybe distracting yourself isn’t the best way to deal with problems.

…idk where I was going with this one, I’m getting of track a little, I fear…this was kinda just plot progression and a lot of filler shit and also a way for me to mention Pomefiore…all dorms will have their major moments, like Octavinelle in the second part…I just need to find motivation to do it 👍

THANKS FOR PUTTING UP WITH MY WRITING, LOVELIES <3

Again, if you wanna be tagged just ask!

Master List

Please don’t steal or copy any of my work! You may, however, reblog if you’d want to!

Pictures belong to Disney Twisted Wonderland but are edited by me :)

Tag list <3:

@w0nd3rhoy

@biumg-ie

[kirby-the-gorb]

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

I’m the anon who sent you that ask about Sonic and Shadow’s relationship in the Chronic Sonic au. If your post saying you ignore long asks was directed at me, can you please just… post the latest version without answering? I would prefer to save it to my likes and maybe have other fans read my thoughts.

thank you

Well no, it wasn’t just directed at you, there are a couple long asks in my inbox (some of which are positive and very beloved and i cherish, Dopambles I’m looking at you <3). But you’ve sent your ask twice now and this one too so I’ll answer this one. I don’t really want to make this a big long thing, but I also don’t really wanna leave ya hanging when this seems so important to you so lets do this (everyone else can ignore this if ya want I’m going long-winded through everything.)

So, reasons i don’t like to respond to or even post long asks sometimes lets do this [cracks knuckles]

1. I don’t like posting things onto my blog that I haven’t checked over first. I struggle a lot in reading and comprehending long asks. I don’t know why, it’s weird, okay. Let’s leave it at that. I’m not gonna blindly post walls of texts to my blog without checking them over first, because I want to make sure I’m filtering asks so nothing harmful gets posted to my blog. You’d be surprised at how whack a lot of anons can get. Not to say your ask was whack, but I also am struggling to read it so it’s hard to say for sure! It’s not due to the nature of your ask, it is simply because my brain be like dat.

2. Sometimes, I just don’t like having to scroll through walls of texts that aren’t my own to get to my latest posts. I get a lot of asks as it is. I do love answering them, but when they get long, the amount of time it takes to scroll through em makes it hard to refer back to my previous posts and is just is not intuitive or fun when interacting with my own blog, which leads me to my next point

3. This is my space. My blog is by me for me. I choose to post and share to interact and have fun with other people but at the end of the day this blog is my space. I did not create it for anyone other than me. I welcome the people who find joy in my stories here, but this remains my space. If i was being paid for this it’d be different, I’d absolutely curate and change things to make it a better and easier experience for those that i charged to be here, but like… I’m not being paid for this? And to ask me to do what you want in my space so that you can have the experience you want is… i dunno it sounds a little entitled. (I’m not saying that you ARE entitled, only that it sounds like it to me personally.) Contacting me even after I expressed my difficulty in answering asks to try and convince me to post it for your sake is a little rude. I’m not a professional creator, I’m not a person with fans, I’m just a random dude trying to have a good time with other people on a dumpster-fire website. I’m not a creator trying to make sure everyone else is having a good time. This is what i do in my free time to relax and—

4. —being a moderator for other peoples hc’s and conversations is not personally relaxing to me. My blog is not a public confessions blog and I am not a public message board. I am honoured when people share their personal stories and how what I doodle has helped them feel seen and that things will be okay, but I’m not a place for other people to come say what they want to each other, I’m a person, not a message board. How other people use Tumblr is up to them, however, I am not going to change how I use tumblr so that you can have a better experience when it will make the experience worse for me.

5. If i answer asks, I don’t draw. And I like drawing. If I’m posting asks (even without answering them) and stressing about being the middle man in conversations that I will have to regulate to make sure conversations stay kind, that takes a lot of time and energy and I got so incredibly burnt out when i tried to do that. So i stopped. And I will not be starting up again simply so you can have a good time, because I will have a bad one. And this is my space to not have a bad time. If something stresses me out, I will not do it here, it is as simple as that. I have my whole irl to be stressed about.

These are some of the reasons I don’t like to post long asks. I have notified you that I struggle to read, I don’t understand why you continue pushing. I have amazing anon’s who send wonderful long asks who have been kind and considerate with me about my struggles reading and processing. They continue to send their wonderful asks and have assured me it’s okay if I never post them. I am confused as to why you cannot seem to respect my decision as well.

The final reason regarding my hesitance in posting your ask in particular is simply that your hc was not accurate to how I was aiming to portray the characters in the current timeline. You are more than welcome to hc and speculate, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I cannot simply post it without answering it like you suggest because I would need to clarify that it’s not true. When I used to do that, people would start to misinterpret my au’s and it stressed me out. It takes hours for me to write up responses to things sometimes because I want to make sure I’m being kind and thoughtful and accurate. I am honoured that you shared something personal but what you wrote is simply not where the characters are at right now. It could be them in the future, but it is still early in the au so that kind of resentment hasn’t set in yet. Shadow is hurting because he’s taking the brunt of Sonic’s negativity but he is resigned to it because for him nothing else matters as long as Sonic stays alive, even if he has to be the person Sonic hates in all this and that is heavy. He’s angry at him when he does not take care of himself, but he is not resentful. Sonic struggles with being a burden on all of his friends, not just Shadow. The way you described the relationship was closer to how Tails and Sonic interact than Shadow and Sonic and even then, there’s more going on that I just don’t have the time or energy to really walk through. And besides, I want to save that energy to draw out things later.

As i shared with another commenter who asked something similar, I can absolutely DM you your ask back if you want to save it. However I don’t understand why you need me to post it to save it your likes if you simply want to save it. You have your own blog you can post it to. Why does it need to be on my blog? Why do I have to do extra work so you can have an easier time to do what you want? I am very grateful for your interaction and love of my comic, and I understand it’s frustrating when people make things harder for you to have a good time, but that’s exactly what you’re doing to me by asking me to change how I use tumblr to suit your wants instead of what is easiest for me. I am not a public service you pay for. I am a person, a full time student with family issues, struggling siblings that I’m trying to help, a person who is struggling myself. I have a limited amount of energy in a day, I get tired quickly. If i want to continue to find joy in drawing I have to set boundaries. You may not always know why someone does something, I guarantee there is more here that I will not share because it is personal. Sometimes you just have to be okay with not knowing, you have to be okay not understanding, and you have to be okay without an explanation that makes sense to you. All you need to do is understand that often times there is a reason people behave the way they do. It’s not a reflection on you or their opinion of you, it is simply many other factors at play that lead to such an outcome.

I sincerely hope this did not offend you, I am not angry with you, nor do I wish for any of this to be taken as scolding or upset you. If it has come across that way, I apologize. I am sorry I am not in a state to give you what you want, and I’m thankful for your patience with me in reading through this and I hope it is enough to at least paint a little bit of a picture as to why I will not be posting your ask. It’s unfortunate that I ended up spending hours addressing this anyway both to you and to another commenter—the very thing I wanted to avoid—but I value you as a person and did not want to leave you feeling negatively if I could change that. I hope this does not affect your enjoyment or experience with how you were having fun with my au, and if it does I am deeply regretful. However, I do have to set boundaries and make sure I’m doing okay or there would be no AU at all. Thanks for your understanding and I hope you have a day as kind as you are.

[lazylittledragon]

download festival dump bc it may have been the catalyst for the end of my relationship but i still had a GREAT time

[holland-vosijk-antari]

dont know if i already talked about the concept of antari having a telepathic link but im still thinking about it because consider the horror implications for holland being in black london/possessed by osaron????? he had never really spoken to kell through the link before then, but when he woke to find himself in this flat dead world with this living magic trying to persuade him to give up his body, well he just decides to reach out. imagine kells terror, after years of silence, to hear his fellow antaris voice, 10 days dead and in an unreachable world so unknown,

"kell? let me out"

in his usual calm tone like ice water with an insistency that has kells spine straightening. obviously he would be terrified at the implications, he had either trapped holland, alive and he was going to make that kells problem. or something else was speaking with hollands voice, and that thing had a taste for antari.

on the other hand it could be osaron speaking to kell, taking full advantage of their link and using hollands voice to do so. trying to tempt him in, or simply trying to break his brain. begging for kells help with hollands voice

"help me kell" "how could you do this kell" "please kell" "this is your fault kell"

and always "let me out" a mirror of the "let me in" that reaches the minds of the people of arnes later on. maybe hollands voice would sound slightly strange, slightly off, too many layers, constant dizzying and scuttling around his brain it would destabilise kell. rhy would find him on the floor with his hands over his ears and a knife at his side. nauseous with fear at the unknowable entity he could have released all thanks to a single black stone and a package he should have refused

[piowasthere]

i love getting a notification from Pinterest with recommended pins just to see my own shit on there reposted by somebody else without credit or anything

oh, and the comments are always also really awesome too they're great if they're not busy being confused by the artist or what's going on or being too cringe that is

will always find smth they don't like and ask for it to stop cuz getting it out of recommend too wild of a challenge for 'em not like it's gonna reach the actual artist who made it in the first place anyway they don't even know their work's out there

<3

[cheriekos]

you know i read teen titans 2008 one time and that haunted-sickly-victorian-child-but-make-it-fish design they did for garth literally touched a part of me so deeply i simply cannot imagine him any other way

[wutheringmights]

I won’t lie gang this chapter is killing me