#<- humphrey's inner thoughts

[metrosexualcyclops]

what if robin could speak anglo-norman because he learned it through osmosis/an old ghosts who already got sucked off moved on taught him.

ok now imagine humphrey trying to talk to robin after he's just died and getting incredibly frustrated because it sounds like robin's speaking french

[blackpanterblog]

Shadow is so awe

Hearing all the latest facts about Shadow feelings for Amy is so heartwarming.

I was right that about his twitter takeover will have more moments he spent with the pink hedgehog outside of concerts. He couldn't admit that he loved shopping with her but he does loved rubbing their time together in front of his rival. I pray those two will have their own takeover and it will explode the whole media content.

In the latest podcast with David Humphrey Shadow 1st ENG VA, admitted Shadow does have a soft spot for Amy in SA2 by explaining is inner thoughts of her: ''I only known her for 5 minutes but if anything happens to her, I would destroy the world and everyone in it.''

[matrixbydaria]

Arcana of Gossip Girl Сharacters

Fiverr TikTok

"Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite."

Have you ever wondered which Arcana your favorite Gossip Girl characters embody? I decided to dive into this idea and created the following list. So, let’s explore their Matrix of Destiny charts and uncover the energies that define them!💌

👑Blair Waldorf – Arcana 3 (The Empress)

Blair Waldorf is the perfect embodiment of The Empress, symbolizing power, ambition, and the ability to create and nurture her empire. She thrives in high society, commanding attention and respect through her elegance and strategic mind. Blair's need for control extends not only to her own life but also to those around her. She is a natural leader, shaping relationships, friendships, and even rivalries to fit her vision. Like The Empress, Blair is deeply tied to themes of creation—whether it’s her own success, romantic endeavors, or managing her social circle. Her ultimate challenge lies in balancing her need for dominance with her softer, more vulnerable side.

🕊Serena van der Woodsen – Arcana 2 (The High Priestess)

Serena is a living mystery, embodying the harmonious yet enigmatic energy of The High Priestess. Her magnetic charm and natural beauty draw everyone in, making her the center of attention without even trying. However, her life is often marked by moments of indecision, where her intuition clashes with external influences. The High Priestess represents deep wisdom and hidden knowledge, which mirrors Serena’s ability to see beyond the surface and connect with people on a profound level. Yet, her struggle lies in fully embracing her intuitive power while navigating a world filled with distractions and societal expectations.

🎱Chuck Bass – Arcana 15 (The Devil)

Chuck Bass exudes the raw, magnetic energy of The Devil, symbolizing temptation, material power, and deep inner struggles. His life is intertwined with themes of wealth, passion, and the darker sides of human nature. Chuck often finds himself caught between indulging in his desires and seeking redemption, making his journey one of self-discovery and restraint. His charisma is both alluring and dangerous, capable of drawing people into his world of intrigue. At his core, Chuck’s challenge is to break free from the chains of his past and his vices, learning to use his intensity for personal growth and meaningful connections.

✒️Dan Humphrey – Arcana 9 (The Hermit)

Dan is a classic example of The Hermit, someone who seeks truth, understanding, and self-reflection. While he appears as an outsider in the glamorous world of the Upper East Side, Dan’s introspective nature allows him to observe and analyze this world with clarity. He often isolates himself, preferring his own thoughts and creativity to the superficial drama around him. The Hermit’s light shines brightest when illuminating hidden truths, and Dan embodies this as a writer who exposes secrets and reveals deeper layers of those he interacts with. His journey is one of finding authenticity, both in himself and in the relationships he builds.

💫Nate Archibald – Arcana 6 (The Lovers)

Nate represents the duality and choices embodied by The Lovers. He is constantly caught between following his heart and meeting the expectations placed upon him by his family and society. Nate’s charm and easygoing nature make him a romantic figure, yet his internal struggle often leaves him feeling lost. The Lovers card reflects his journey of learning to make decisions that honor both his responsibilities and his personal desires. Nate’s greatest lesson is discovering how to integrate these parts of himself to create a life of balance and fulfillment.

✂️Jenny Humphrey – Arcana 16 (The Tower)

Jenny’s journey is one of upheaval, rebellion, and transformation, perfectly mirroring the energy of The Tower. Her rise in the social hierarchy is marked by moments of destruction, where she must break away from her roots and old beliefs to carve out her own identity. Jenny’s ambition often leads her into chaotic situations, forcing her to confront the consequences of her actions. The Tower symbolizes her struggle to tear down the structures that no longer serve her, allowing her to rebuild and redefine herself. Ultimately, her journey is one of self-discovery and empowerment.

💎Lily van der Woodsen – Arcana 4 (The Emperor)

Lily embodies the stability, structure, and authority of The Emperor. As the matriarch of her family, she takes charge of creating a solid foundation for her children, even when it means making difficult decisions. Her life is guided by a desire for control and order, often clashing with the chaotic lives of those around her. The Emperor symbolizes her strength and resilience as she navigates personal struggles while maintaining her family’s image and legacy. Lily’s challenge lies in balancing her authoritative nature with emotional openness, ensuring her leadership is both firm and compassionate.

🎸Rufus Humphrey – Arcana 14 (Temperance)

Rufus’s energy is defined by balance, patience, and harmony, reflecting the essence of Temperance. As a father and former musician, he bridges the gap between his creative past and his practical present. Rufus often acts as the grounding force in his family, mediating conflicts and offering wisdom. He seeks to integrate different aspects of his life, finding equilibrium between his dreams and responsibilities. His journey is one of compromise and acceptance, proving that true strength comes from understanding and adapting to life’s complexities.

🎥Vanessa Abrams – Arcana 11 (Strength)

Vanessa’s resilience and courage align with the themes of Strength. She faces numerous challenges, often standing firm in her beliefs despite opposition. Vanessa’s inner strength comes from her ability to remain true to herself and her values, even when it isolates her from others. Like Strength, she uses compassion and determination to overcome obstacles, embodying the idea that true power comes from within. Her journey is one of perseverance, as she continuously fights for her place in a world that doesn’t always understand her.

🪩Georgina Sparks – Arcana 18 (The Moon)

Georgina thrives in the shadows, embodying the mystery and illusion of The Moon. Her manipulative nature and unpredictable actions make her a wild card in any situation. The Moon’s energy reflects her ability to create confusion and intrigue, often leading others astray. Yet, beneath her deceptive exterior lies a depth of emotion and complexity. Georgina’s journey is one of navigating her own illusions and uncovering the truths she hides even from herself. She is a reminder of the power and danger of the unknown.

So, which character's Arcana resonates with you? And do you agree with these interpretations? Let me know your thoughts!

Who am I? It's not a secret, you can find my services about Matrix of Destiny on Fiverr. You know you love me. XOXO, Matrix by Daria💋

[luckykiwiii101]

Hey Upper East Siders. Want to play a game…? One condition, this time you HAVE to play by the rules. Or it’s game over…

XOXO, - gossip girl 💋 💌

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

And who am i? That’s one secret i’ll never tell, You know you love me, XOXO - gossip girl

————————————————————————————————————————

♥️🖤♥️🖤♥️🖤♥️🖤♥️🖤♥️🖤♥️🖤♥️🖤♥️🖤

————————————————————————————————————————

Hey Upper east siders.

It’s that time of year again. When the sleigh bells are jingling and people add more items to their never ending wish list.What if i told you…it’s more than just a wish list.Ever wanted something so bad that you would do ANYTHING to get it? Well luckily, i’m not talking about signing a contract in blood. You don’t even have to lift a finger, nor shed any blood…or tears. You can have everything you’ve ever wished for.You just have to play a little game. Will you accept this dance…? If the answer is yes…keep on reading.

Now that we’re nice and ready. We can get started on this super quick and fun journey. If i didn’t say this earlier, GOSSIP GIRL HERE!! and i have the BIGGEST news ever! YOU will have entered/woke up in the void state within a week and manifested your dream life! Maybe you’ll do it in less than a week, and have a holly jolly Christmas XoXo. Just depends on how determined you are.

You know what happens if you aren’t…right? There are two outcomes. Let’s go over them shall we..?

“Will you have this dance..?” “No”

(Option A)

SPOTTED: Lonely Boy. Can’t believe they didn’t want their dream life, only in exchange for a little persistence. How tragic……And EVERYONE is talking. Wonder what Blair Waldorf thinks. If only they knew how easy life was…

“Will have you this dance…?” “Yes”

(Option B)

SPOTTED: SPOTTED, On the steps of the Met: B. Looking perfect, as usual. Feeling perfect, as usual. Having everything they’ve ever wanted. So much for such little “work”. Did they really think they could just waltz over here and not manifest their dream life? So effortless, it’s almost funny.

So……Which do you choose?

(thought so)

Option B?! Good choice. Looks like Little J will have everything they want and a ticket to the inner circle. Why waste precious time dreaming when waking life is SO much better?

Luckily, your journey will be very short, and VERY sweet.

YOU’VE BEEN INVITED!

Serena Van Der Woodsen, your invitations just arrived. With strings attached. Come out, come out, wherever you are.

Gossip Girl here…enough with the stalling. Now for the main event.

You will spend the next 7 days, accepting that you are a void master.

What is the void state?

Well well well. Look what we have here. An overcomplicator on our hands, caught red handed. (Just kidding, XoXo)

It’s a state of pure consciousness. When you are detached from your physical senses completely. You can’t hear, see, smell or feel anything. Must be heaven if your name is Dan Humphrey.

Did you know, that you enter the void state everytime you fall asleep? Shocked? Well don’t be. It’s nothing special. Things always work out for you after all, should be used to it by now. Doesn’t it feel weird to finally have Gossip Girl on YOUR side? Can’t wait to pry into your success soon……and write ALLLLLL about it. You better not disappoint me, you know what happens next. Don’t wanna end up like lonely boy……do you?

“But i don’t believe in the Void State.”

- Said no sane person ever. Unless your Queen B with a broken heart.

Here you go! 💋💌💋

Does little J want a virtual slap of common sense? Don’t tempt me. A few clicked pics of your journey home could turn into a journey to hell. You know you love me. XoXo.

How do I enter the void state?

(Here you go 💌💌💌)

Looks like entering the void state really IS sugar and spice and EVERYTHING nice after all.

Hear those silver bells? It’s a void master INCOMING!!!

Applying states for the void state:

(Here you go! 💋💌💋💌)

And everyone knows the biggest present comes in the smallest box………not so difficult after all.

Then there are those boxes you are SO glad you opened.

“Challenges” to apply:

EVERYONE knows that there’s no such thing as a “challenge”.

“Take one It Girl on a pedestal. Add a crowd eager to see her fall. And give them the means to knock her down. So sad how they know they’ll only be the ones who end up falling” - XoXo Gossip Girl

Is Queen B Feeling frustrated? : (Lotusmi’s void challenge)

Always finding your hands in your hair and your fist in the wall? Well this one’s for you! (💋 💋 💋)

Love complaining? Of course you do! Talk about a Blair Bitch Project.

And for the building to really blow up, all you need is an unexpected turn. Who knew changing attitudes were so helpful?Especially for the Stubborn Blair Waldorf.

Desperately Seeking Serena: (3 day void challenge)

Is Queen S feeling like she needs a whole mind reprogramming in a gorgeously short amount of time? Well it’s time to turn that mental frown, upside down! (Here you go!!! 💋♥️💋♥️)

Ah, what’s that magic word again? Oh, Consistency! Whoops! Don’t tell me you forgot too?

And anyone who’s used to bending the rules will find themselves breaking them.

Feeling like a Dare Devil?: (Void Princess challenge)

Confidence is built, and NEWS FLASH!!! You don’t need confidence to build it. No expense is spared.

(Post is here 💋💋💋)

There’s nothing Gossip Girl loves more than a little……push. Not off of a building of course………ofcourse.

Of course Gossip Girl here isn’t going to link every single void challenge here. Wouldn’t you like to come up with your own? Use your favourite one to your hearts content.

As we all know, there’s nothing Gossip Girl loves more than a surprise.

Is that a smile we see on B’s lips? The spotlight’s on her for once and no one helped her get it. I guess “miracles” can happen.

Distraction Method (made by the one and only, Gossip Girl)

Another stray thought lands in B’s lap. Will she use it as ammunition or will she surrender and put down her arms?

Here you go! 💌♥️💌♥️

What happens if Queen B doesn’t want to persist?

No, that’s not a tear in my eye. It’s just allergies. Without you, I’m nothing. — gossip girl

Who doesn’t love a five-finger discount. Especially if it’s the middle one.

Look who doesn’t want to end up on my blog. Who will I gossip about now?

Who cares if i’m pretty if i fail my finals?

Everyone knows that Blair Waldorf is SO much better than Rory Gilmore. Luckily for Blair, the word “failing” is unheard of. Too bad for Rory, it’s all she thinks about.

Read this 💋💋💋

Hey Upper East Siders. We hear that World War III just broke out. And it’s wearing kneesocks. Choose your side or run and hide. We have a feeling this one’s to the death.

Why should I listen to Gossip Girl?

Because “I was a teenage drug addict” is not exactly a winning college essay.

Now have a holly jolly Christmas with your every desire. You can thank me later.

Every happy ending is just a new beginning. Because on the Upper East Side, the good times ALWAYS last forever. You know you love me, XOXO —Gossip Girl 💋 💌

[anevildictatoroftaste]

Confessions of a Runaway Debutante

Dair X Bridgerton AU Fic [Chapter 8] >Click for AO3 link

A tiny (but scandalous) excerpt, as always:

Blair’s eyelids fly open with a start. Oh, good heavens.

She’s tumbled to the soft dirt on the ground — well, not the ground exactly, since her fall has fortuitously been cushioned by one Dan Humphrey, whom she is currently clinging onto for dear life.

A soft groan falls from Humphrey’s lips as he winces in pain. His left arm remains wrapped tight around her middle. A fine layer of sand blankets his sleeves and coat, but he seems unharmed for the most part.

Hastily, she pushes herself up by the arms with a scowl, peeling away from his stupidly warm chest — which is no easy feat, considering she’s still numb and trembling from shock.

“Are you all right?” Humphrey asks, breathless, his cravat slightly askew from the impact. “I think your horse got a little spooked by a bee’s sting back there.” 

“I — yes, I…” Blair trails off, her train of thought evaporating along with — with the warm amber flecks in Humphrey’s irises…or the — the way his chest heaves, with every shallow breath he takes…

No. Oh, no. 

She. Is straddling. Daniel. Humphrey. In a most compromising position that is far, far beyond the bounds of propriety, her inner thighs brushing against either side of his hips.

“G-get off me at once, you buffoon!” She cries shrilly, a gloved hand clasped to her bosom in utter mortification.

“I hate to bicker over positions, Miss Waldorf,” the man manages a wry smirk in spite of the fact that he’s sprawled on his back in a most undignified manner. “But I do believe that you’re on top of me.”

[beezonia]

So my brain was thinking about the sweet event thing I came up with for my potential eah rewrite

and I thought i should share

———-

So I think the characters who would mainly appear in this (if it was like an episode) are:

Ginger

Poppy

Lizzie

Briar

Humphrey

Hopper

This is because these kids together are just chaos and chaos in a kitchen is always fun/painful to watch

——-

So the event is mainly a celebration of sweets, Ginger talks to Poppy and Lizzie about the festival they have at her home where it’s all about sweet treats and celebration of creation

Lizzie is like “That sounds quite like a tea party in wonderland although those don’t last a week”

Poppy thinks it’s cool and decides to help Ginger bring it up with headmaster grimm

(she believes that rebels should be allowed to have big events that celebrate their choices hence why I went with a theme of creation)

and with a bit of convincing and with Lizzie saying to grimm she’ll get her mother to make his life a living hell if he doesn’t do this

they get permission to start planning and briar comes in to help

she also brings hopper and humphrey with her because she knows humph will help with the maths side of things and hopper can help with the decor and all that jazz

also we get more platonic briarhop

(they deserve to have good friends)

the two of them get to go absolutely ham with everything

they also give humphrey advice on how to ask Jillian out

(the inner Jillhumph shipper in me is coming out not sorry)

so that’s like a side story of the episode

——

que kitchen shenanigans and food fights just teenagers being teenagers

(because eah needed more of that tbh)

ginger starts to feel homesick when she digs out her fathers favourite recipe

(gingers dad kinda left the picture when she was 11/12 for reasons I haven’t decided on yet)

so she ends up telling everyone about her childhood and why she just wants to bring everyone together with her baking instead of hurting them

(so In my rewrite I kinda want to uncover characters motives bit by bit so everyone gets the spotlight)

I feel like Duchess comes and steals some treats when that’s going down so the gang have to scramble together to get everything ready for the next day

Poppy uses her voice to gather up both rebels and royals to help (yes poppy is like a figurehead in the royal/rebel divide)

Lizzie directs everyone (alluding to her being ready to take her mothers place on the throne)

It ends with a big celebration, ginger gets some really good friends, and also some really good reviews!

——-

yeah I hope you like this idea!

[commfiesammie]

The Stanley Challenge

The Stanley Challenge

We all know and love Stanley Humphrey. Ever since his debut on the Lilsimsie channel on February 1st of 2020, Stanley has been an icon of the “ get rich-quick schemes ” However, If we dig deep into Stanley’s history, there is little to no information about him. When he was created by Lilsimsie, she acknowledged that he is actually a hotdog sim and that he had a dad who helped him with money in the past. But, she never addressed how or why? and I can’t help but wonder; When did he become a hot dog? And how? Well, it is time for us to wonder no more! 

Welcome to the “ Stanley Lore Challenge” Here we will make sense of it all. We will go back in time and find out the true lore of Stanley Humphery the hotdog sim. 

Note:

This challenge can be played in two ways :

A- Easy Mode

( Buy the lot, build a house then cheat the money to zero)

B-Hard Mode

(Buy the lot and then immediately cheat the money to zero)

Basic rules: 

1- Each heir must represent a hotdog ingredients or topping.

2-Money cheats are NOT allowed. We are scheming after all. 

3- You can live in any world of your choosing unless the challenge specifically ask you to relocate. 

4- every generation must start with zero dollars.

5- lifespan can be whatever you decide, though a normal life span is recommended. 

6-The cursed meatwall heirloom must be placed in each build after the second generation. 

Disclaimer: I have created this challenge because I wanted to create my own story for Stanley and share it with the community. @Lilsimsie is the original creator of Stanley Humphrey and owns full rights to his story of origin. This challenge drafts a story of my own thoughts and theories and is not all associated with the true mysteries of Stanley or his creator @lilsimsie. 

Generation One: The Bun 

You are an introvert who lives in a secluded area in Mt. Komorebi. You enjoy reading random books, playing the Sims, and practicing yoga. You are not seeking love as your cat is enough. Your one best friend is your old college roommate Bob Pancakes. Your life is normal, safe, and happy. However, one night while streaming “The Sims Forever” Eliza Pancakes comes over to your house, starts talking poorly about Bob, confesses love to you, and now wants to have your baby… The choice is yours! 

Traits: Cat lover, Creative, Loner

Aspirations: inner peace 

Scheme: Live Streaming

Rules: 

Have Only One Child

Must live in a tiny home

Must max the Wellness skill

Finish the “MySims trophies” collection

Generation Two: The Hotdog 

In this generation, you are a childish individual who only cares about themselves. After the passing of your parent, you wasted all your inheritance money on hot dates and parties. One day you find yourself on an empty island with just the clothes on your back and just a few simoleons. Lucky enough, you stumbled on an empty abandoned food stall next to a grill and your hot dog grilling business was born. 

Traits: Childish, Glutton, Party animal 

Aspiration: Serial romantic

Scheme: Meat wall and food stall

Rules:

Must marry an evil spell caster 

Must have a secret affair with pregnancy 

Master DJ mixing skill and dancing skill

Must buy a meat wall

Generation Three: Mustard 

You had a happy childhood, you got along with your siblings, and had more toys than you could ever play with. As a teen, you fell in love with a person at school but that ended poorly, as a result, you cared less and felt more distant from everyone. Everyone was nice to you, but you always felt like something was missing. One night as your family slept soundly, you ready your favorite things and quietly snuck out.

Traits: Loyal, Friendly, Family-oriented 

Aspiration: Big happy family 

Scheme: Decor box and Trifting 

Rules:

Move out as a teen

fall in love with a ghost and bring them back to life 

live in a suburban house

Master handiness skill and parenting skill

Generation Four: Ketchup 

Some might say that even as a child you were money obsessed. But, that is not entirely true. As a child you enjoyed simple things like playing make believe, cooking with your parents, and doing chores. it’s only when you got older and experienced the real world that you became harsh, obsessed with money, and materialistic objects. 

Traits: Ambitious, Materialistic, Snob 

Aspirations: Fabulously wealthy 

Scheme: Use Dumpster diving to fund your five-star restaurant 

Rules: 

Master Cooking skill and Gourmet cooking skill

Live in modren house with a live in buttler

Marry for money and become widowed  twice 

Have atleast one set of twins 

Generation Five: Pickled Relish 

You are green with jealousy. You can’t believe that your parent gave the family hot dog recipe to your other sibling and not you! How could they do that to you? You were the best one with the best grades! You always made your bed and did your chores, it’s so unfair! But, it’s whatever, you can still figure it out. 

Traits: Jealous, Evil, Genius 

Aspiration: Seeker of Secrets 

Scheme: blackmailing and programming 

Rules: 

Master Robotics skills and cooking skill

Complete “Experimental Food photo” collection. 

fall in love with in love and marry a mermaid.

become best friend with the grim reaper

Generation Six: White Onions

You spent most of your days in your room, keeping to yourself. You never really got along with your parents and didn’t have many friends. You lived a very normal life until you met your better half, you became best friends, fall in love and got married. After, you went on adventures, discovered hidden gems and found wishing well. You made a wish for a baby and when you went back home the magical meatwall was gone and a baby had magically appeared. 

 Traits: Socially awkward, Paranoid, Geek 

Aspiration: Renaissance sim 

Scheme: transfer ray

Rules: 

Master Gardening skill

Be engaged to your best friend. 

wish for a kid at the wishing well

must name one of your kids “ Stanley”

Lastly;

If you have played this challenge and wish to share it with me don't forget to tag me @commfiesammie i would love to see it.

Special thanks to Wesley for helping in the proofreading process.

[suekreandtheidiots]

The Joy of Parenting

Location // Characters: Aberdeen // Sofia and Craig

October 2004 - Sofia and Craig talk about their oldest son.

Status/Notes: finished / I love writing these two, and I love parent couples who are still very much in love with each other after years of being together!

___

October 2004

Strong but gentle arms wrapped around her body from behind, and Sofia closed her eyes, leaning into the very familiar touch with a content smile and breathing in her husband's scent. Sun and salt water in his long hair, his favourite cologne as well as a hint of fresh wood - it was an illustrious scent she could never get enough of, even after twenty years.

"Let's go and eat out tonight, Sof, hm?" Craig murmured into her ear. Sofia could practically see his wide smile, without turning around, right in front of her inner eye.

"What?" she laughed.

"I want to take you out to dinner, dear and hard-working wife of mine."

"Where does that come from now?"

"Well, I feel much better than I did last week, I made a secret wish on my birthday… that is now not so secret anymore, mind you, and it's been ages since the last time we went out. You're always so busy saving animals-"

"He says like it's a bad thing-"

"-and I miss going out with you!"

"Well, our budget's been a bit tight after all, with all the repair work in our bathrooms, Ali's new sets of sports gear and Lance's latest school trips? Besides, we are also still saving up to support him through university." Sofia said, snuggling a little deeper into Craig's embrace, savouring the moment.

"And we always managed to put food on the table, too." Craig said. "We've always been doing just fine, Sof. I have an eye on our finances, too. You just worry too much."

"Nooo, I just prefer to keep my head out of the clouds, unlike a certain gentleman whom I happen to be very much into… despite his tendency to gloss over certain situations." she mocked, knowing that Craig would not take it personally. He never did.

"Have I ever met that bloke? Sounds like an idiot."

There we go.

"Briefly, I think. He's quite adorable, actually." Sofia giggled and lightly patted Craig's arms.

The gentle pats were their own little signal to let go of each other, any time they didn't exactly want to part but had to, and Sofia sure would have loved to lean into her husband for a little while longer, but the ice cream that was sitting at the bottom of one of the grocery bags on the counter was probably about to melt right in front of her eyes within the next few minutes and that was not at all why she had bought it.

Once Craig let go of her, she started unpacking the bags, handing him some of the items so he could store them away.

"Nah, seriously, Sof… what do you say?" Craig tried again, putting a package of spaghetti into the cupboard above him. "Hm? Just us tonight. We can drop Ali off at Finn's and, as far as I know, Lancie has plans, too."

"He does?"

"Heard him say somethin' earlier and from what I understood, he won't be home before ten or so."

"I love how he's only sixteen and just assumes that curfews are no longer a thing for him."

"He's a good kid, Sof."

"I know, I know."

Craig put away the two new boxes of Weetabix and leaned against the counter. A wide smile spread across his face. "So, what do you say? I could get a table at Humphrey's at six o'clock?"

"Hm, go on?"

"Then we should be done with dinner around eight, at the latest, and that still leaves enough time for me to get you home real quick and show you some of my finest woodwork, if you catch my drift."

Sofia groaned. "Dear god, Abbott, that's it, I'm going to hide that book about puns."

"So that's a no to my well-crafted plans?"

Sofia pursed her lips and thought about Craig's idea.

She actually had made plans to declutter her office tonight, to go through all the documents she had not had enough time to sort into their appropriate folders in the past few weeks, and after that she had looked forward to wind down in front of the TV with one of her favourite movies, "Gone With The Wind" (hence the ice cream), and go to bed early, to enjoy a night of peaceful sleep.

A date with her husband, however, with the outlook of some… woodwork, as he apparently liked to put it now, was all too tempting.

Between them both working full time and managing everyday life with two very lively sons, making room for some actual romance could be a challenge, and it really had been a while at this point. Neither Sofia nor Craig had liked that a whole lot.

Sofia decided that her office could probably wait another day or two.

"It's a yes." she smiled. "Stop referring to sex as woodwork, though, and you will get lucky tonight."

"It's a charming code word, though?" Craig hopped on the counter and made himself comfortable, snatching one of the shiny bags next to him, opening it and devouring a handful of crisps within seconds. "Any time the boysh are around and we talk about woodwork, they'd remain entirely cluelesh."

"Really?" Sofia raised an eyebrow. "Have you met your own sons?!"

"Well… at least Ali would be clueless, and he might remain so for a long time, now that his cute little mind revolves all around football."

"Let's just hope so."

Sofia sighed at the very unsettling thought of her youngest eventually growing up, too, and she had just put away a can of baked beans when another thought crossed her mind. She turned to her husband.

"So what is Lancie up to later?" she asked. "I haven't seen him all day, and, well… he never really talks to me anyway."

She did her best to make the last part sound like a casual statement, and she knew that it had never been personal either, but the way Lance felt mostly drawn to Craig still had potential to nag at her sometimes.

"I don't know, really. Think I heard him mention 'Diana', though."

"Dear god, no." Sofia let out another groan, losing composure for a second, despite trying not to, and leaning on the counter in frustration.

Next to her, her husband chuckled and helped himself to another handful of crisps. "You really don't like the little lass, eh?"

"I want to, Pooky, I really do. It's more that... I don't know, I just don't like the way she makes Lancie run after her. That's just not like him at all."

"Sof, he's sixteen. A damn teenager."

"So? Doesn't mean he can't have any standards?"

"You're cute. Do you really need me to spell out for you what he's after?"

"Craig!" Sofia moaned. "You're not helping."

"What? Most of us go through that awful phase, and trust me, it pains us more than it does you."

"And how would you know that?"

"Because you lassies know you're sweet and gorgeous, and intriguing, and that we're all into you no matter what, and you know we know it, and you can do whatever you want with that. Don't tell me you weren't a scheming little goddess at sixteen."

"I wasn't?!"

"I don't believe you at all." Craig laughed. "What I wanted to say, though... we usually come out of that phase as better, wiser people."

Sofia glanced to the side to where Craig was still sitting happily on the counter, his long legs dangling and his blue eyes sparkling with excitement as he was looking at his bag of crisps like it was his own, personal revelation. He, too, resembled a damn teenager in this very moment and it was one of the things she had always loved about her husband - life, no matter the circumstances, had never hardened him and she hoped it never would.

Her lips curled up into a smile. "Better, sure. Wiser however-"

"Hey, I managed to woo you!"

"I was young and very easy to impress." Sofia laughed.

"You were never easy to impress, Miss Thomson, I am really just that great." Craig pointed at himself with two thumbs, grinning like the gorgeous, confident fool he was, before he joined in laughing.

A few moments later, he shrugged and added: "Honestly, Sof, don't even worry. Besides, it's not like there's a whole lot that Lancie could do wrong, so let him do his thing, he'll be fine."

Sofia cocked her head.

It's not like there's a whole lot that Lancie could do wrong.

What a strange and out-of-the-blue statement that was. It sure sparked her curiosity, so she decided to address it.

"What do you mean, he can't do wrong?"

"You know what I mean. Our oldest isn't exactly set up for failure, right?"

"I don't even know how to answer that."

"Just think about it - has Lance ever done anything truly stupid? Name one thing!" Craig dared her, putting his bag of crisps away, before he jumped off the counter, proceeding to put the last few groceries to their designated places.

Sofia smirked and raised an eyebrow. "So you're tryin' to tell me that you already conveniently forgot how he snuck out to a party he wasn't allowed to go to last year?"

Her husband turned around, making a face. "Oh, that-"

"And didn't even manage to sneak back in, like he had planned? Instead he passed out drunk at some stranger's house and we called him about three hundred times, worried sick, before he gave a sign of life - the next afternoon."

Craig pressed his lips into a thin line, and he blinked. "Just, uh… name one other thing he fucked up."

Sofia laughed and gently tugged at the hem of her husband's sweater jacket. "Pooky, what are you even on about?"

"That party incident was merely a glitch, don't you think? What I'm saying is that our son is a force of nature. I'm so proud of him. I mean, he's good at everything he tries, it almost scares me."

Ah. The age old tale of the Golden Boy. Sofia looked down and bit her lip.

She had always loved how Craig had proved to be a devoted father. In spite of what everyone else had to say about their young relationship back in the days, he had done simply amazing right from the start and while there had been many voices trying to talk her out of 'settling for that silly lad', Sofia had always… known. Sure, Craig had been young, but even back then, in his very early twenties, she had sensed that hint of security about him. It was never about money, status and possessions, she could've had that plenty of times. Craig Abbott had the heart and soul that she had always looked for, to even think about starting a family. Craig had always seen her for her, and he wholeheartedly believed in the people he loved.

Sofia had always known that and not much had changed about it, but the past was the past and the present was right here, always waiting to be faced in whatever way necessary. And believing in loved ones was one thing. Putting them on a pedestal, however, was another.

"Lance is good at everything he does, that's true." Sofia nodded reluctantly and she let a few more moments pass before she went on. "And I'm beginning to wonder whether that's actually a good thing."

Craig put his hands on each side of her neck and gently caressed it with his thumbs. "That doesn't make any sense, love. How can that not be a good thing?"

"Because I'm not sure if I like the person he's becoming... because of that."

"Come on, Sof. What is that even supposed to mean?"

"Haven't you noticed how... reckless he has become? Inconsiderate? I mean... sometimes?"

"He's neither reckless nor inconsiderate, he's confident."

"Confidence is a good thing, I'd never complain about that. I don't know, Craig, it's the way he talks to his friends sometimes. His tone, his manners. Happens with Cal, mostly. You might want to listen a little closer the next time the two are talking."

Craig sighed. "I don't know... aren't you reading a bit too much into all of this?"

Sofia knew that her husband was not exactly trying to brush off her concerns or to invalidate her perception on purpose but it still angered her a little that he did not even try to think about it for a while longer, pretty much proving her point right on the spot.

"Perhaps I am." she shrugged. "I can't help but notice a little change, though. You keep encouraging him in a way that... I don't know." She sighed. "I don't know, Craig. There's just something I don't quite like about this."

"So what? Lance has figured some things out sooner than others, what's the big deal? Makes things easier for us! It's what I'm talking about after all, he's a bright one, and I still don't know how that's a bad thing."

"Because teenage years are exactly the time to fuck up. It's how we truly learn and grow. We make mistakes. We learn. We grow. All the time, on repeat. We need to experience those mistakes, to really feel the weight of them. That way, we learn how to reflect ourselves. How is Lance supposed to do that if no one is around to humble him every once in a while?"

"You want us to wear our own kid down?!"

"God, Craig, no!" Sofia groaned. "Of course not. All I want to say is… you might want to grant him a little more room to make mistakes. Because he will. He already has. Question the things he says. Look a little closer, just every once in a while."

"Who says I'm not doing that?"

"I'm not saying that it happens on purpose, but you aren't exactly- I mean, sometimes-" Sofia struggled to find the right words. "The way you talk about him sometimes, like he's already a fully fledged grown up friend of yours… it concerns me."

Craig pulled his eyebrows together and made a tiny step back. "But… why? I love him and I admire him. Why can't my son be my friend, too? How is my support wrong all of a sudden?"

"It's not wrong but… I don't know, Craig. And you know what, sometimes I can't help but ask myself whether you remember that we have another son."

"Hey, no. Just no! That's not fair, Sof." Her husband now let go of her entirely. He took another step back, crossing his arms in obvious defense, and shooting her a glance of disapproval. "You know I love Ali just as much!"

"Well, I can sure assume that, but does Ali know?"

"Sofia, what the fuck is this about? How did we go from dinner plans to me being on family trial, what did I even do?"

Sofia looked down and shook her head. Damn. That was not at all how she had meant for her concerns to come out. She made a step forward and gently squeezed her husband's upper arms and she knew she was not exactly acting reasonable right now, but acting reasonable could be so hard when the subject of debate was her children. Her still-so-very-young sons.

She had to let Craig know that this was still an eye-to-eye discussion.

"Look, I'm sorry, Pooky." she said, stroking his arms. "You are definitely not on trial, and I am not trying to hurt you here, but… sometimes I can't shake off the feeling that you're..."

Doing more harm than good. No, way too harsh. And not quite true either. Sofia pondered her choice of words carefully.

"... that you're putting Lancie in a position he is not at all ready to be in. You may see a force of nature but he is still a boy, Craig."

"Are you… are you tryin' to tell me that I love my son too much?"

"No. No, Craig, that is absolutely not what I'm trying to tell you." Sofia shook her head. "I love the way you love him, alright? I'm just a wee bit worried you might be putting more pressure on him sometimes than what is good for him, without you even realising. You know how you get carried away at times-"

"I'm not putting any pressure on him!"

"Craig-"

"It's not like I expect him to do any of the things he does? I never expected him to master "Painkiller" on the drums at only fourteen, I never expected him to do that well in school and I sure don't expect him to go to med school. It is what he wants, Sof, it's all him! He is the driving force in his own life, he has always been."

"I know that!"

"So what are we even arguing about?!"

"We're not arguing!"

"No? Because it feels like that to me!"

"We're not! I just happen to know that Lance looks up to you. He looks up to you so much, and it might not appear like that to you but he wants your approval. He wants you to think high of him. I know my son, too. He might favour you and he might not even be aware of all the things I just said, but I can see it."

"If it was me he looks up to, he would strive to become a rockstar and hedonist."

"Craig." Sofia breathed out in mild exhaustion and she rested her forehead against her husband's chest.

"The doctor thing is cool, too, though." Craig said after a few moments, offering a tone so soft now that Sofia instantly knew that she had him back on her side, right where he belonged. Craig put his arms around her once more and gently rested his head on hers. This felt good. They stood like that for a while until Sofia felt ready to speak again.

"All I want to say is… try and look behind the facade at times. Be gentle with him." she murmured. "After all, this world won't always be. He might be more fragile than both of you think."

"I am gentle with him. He doesn't care for it all that much."

"I'm not telling you to coddle him. I just- I need to be sure you have his back, even when he messes up."

"Why would you even question that?" Craig asked, unusually timid, stroking her hair while he was still gently rocking her in his arms.

"I know you think he can't do anything wrong but... just play pretend for a moment." Sofia pulled out of his embrace, not much, but just far enough so she could look up into his face. "Assume that Lance does something really stupid... will you be there for him? Will he have your unconditional love and support, even when he's not the amazing self you admire so much? Even when he makes loving him very hard?"

"Sofia-"

"I just need to know, Craig. Please."

Her husband took a deep breath, and he also took his time before he answered.

"Sofia, I will always love him, no matter what he does. And I will always be there for him, too. Even when he messes up. Even when he messes up bad. It... it hurts that I have to spell it out like that."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm having a moment. It's been quite a week, I'm letting it all out on you and I'm so sorry."

"It's all good, love, but you need to tell me what this is really about."

Sofia pondered the question. "I don't know. Sometimes I hate seeing him grow up so fast. Love it, too. But mostly hate it these days. The world is scary, and I keep wondering whether we're giving our sons enough-"

"Shhh. Hey. Our sons have great parents, trust me. They will be fine."

"Why can't I be the funny and gorgeous, happy-go-lucky half of this relationship at times?"

"Because you're perfect the way you are, and no one wants you any other way. And I get that you're thinking about these things, Sof, I really do. I think about it, too. But our sons growing up is the way things are supposed to be, and we may not always like it but neither you nor I can change it. All we can do is watch them live in the moment."

"I know." Sofia sighed. "Wow, that was one hell of a speech, I just remembered again why I love you."

"I told you I'm just that great!" Craig smirked down at her, earning himself a light punch to his upper arm but it only made him laugh and pull her a little closer again. "It'll be alright, love, Lancie still has us. And just to assure you once more - I'll be around to catch him the second he falls. I promise."

Sofia nodded. "Alright, good. I'm sorry, Pooky... can't promise it won't happen again but I'm done being a crazy mother hen for now."

"As long as you always end up telling me what's on your mind, I'm fine with you acting a little crazy at times."

Sofia let out a little laugh and gave her husband another little squeeze.

"Are we good?" Craig asked, kissing the top of her head.

"We're always good." she assured him and stood up on her toes to kiss him. "I meant what I said earlier, though."

"Hm?"

"I know you love him. Of course you do, but please make some room for Ali, too. It won't hurt. He needs his father just as much, if not more. I mean, you have already established that Lance is a force of nature so I think you can let him run free sometimes."

"That coming from you, right after your crazy mother hen meltdown?"

"Arsehole."

Craig let out a hearty laugh. "I promise I'll make room for my little Ali. Of course I will. He'll be fed up with me soon enough."

"You don't need to suffocate him?!" Sofia scoffed. "Just... pay a little attention to him, he's really sweet and entertaining, actually."

"I know he is, and now that I think of it... the prospect of having an entire lifetime of pestering both my sons to pure and utter exhaustion ahead of me... it's pretty great!"

"Oh god." Sofia groaned and rolled her eyes, but she did it with an honest smile. It felt so good to let it all out every once in a while, and another thing she loved about her husband was that he always had a way of making her feel better.

"Honestly, I live for that!" Craig added, a mischievous little spark in his eyes. "For now, though... how about we both finally enjoy the prospect of going out to dinner later?"

"Sounds great to me!"

***

[ggblasts]

Spotted: Dylan Jackson and Roxanne Long, the dynamic duo we never knew we needed, hitting up one of the most exclusive nightclubs in the city. The two best friends—and exes, lest we forget—were seen in a corner booth, drinks in hand, and very much in their element. It seems the ladies were doing more than just catching up, though. Sources close by overheard the pair throwing some serious shade in the direction of Roxanne’s most recent ex. Sounds like someone’s got some unresolved feelings, but is this just Dylan being the supportive bestie, or could there be more to the story?

Roxanne’s breakup has been the talk of the town, and we all know who’s at the center of it: Dan Humphrey. The writer-turned-socialite hasn’t exactly been a favorite on the Upper East Side, but it seems like Roxanne had finally had enough. But if her words at the club are any indication, there’s a lot more to the breakup than we realized. Could this be Roxanne’s true feelings bubbling to the surface after keeping them bottled up for so long? It’s one thing to keep things civil post-breakup, but it sounds like those bridges may be burning faster than we thought.

Of course, no one’s better at picking up the pieces than Dylan. The two may have called it quits years ago, but their friendship has remained unshakable, proving that some exes really are better off as best friends. The question on everyone’s mind now is: How much of Dylan’s support is just her being there for a heartbroken friend, and how much of it is because she never liked Dan in the first place? After all, Dylan’s never been one to shy away from speaking her mind, and if Roxanne’s ex was no good for her, you can bet she’d be the first to say it.

But let’s not forget the golden rule of clubbing: What’s said over drinks rarely stays over drinks. With alcohol flowing freely and emotions running high, it’s hard to say how much of the night’s conversation will make its way into the daylight. Still, it’s not like Roxanne to hold her tongue, and if she’s finally letting her true thoughts on Dan slip, maybe this is her way of closing that chapter for good. Dylan’s presence certainly adds an interesting layer—especially when you consider their history.

Either way, we’re glad to see Roxanne leaning on Dylan in her time of need. Heartbreak is never easy, but having a ride-or-die friend by your side can make all the difference. Whether this is the beginning of a fresh start for Roxanne or just a venting session remains to be seen, but one thing’s for sure: Dylan and Roxanne’s bond is as strong as ever. Exes? Sure. But this friendship? Unbreakable.

So what’s next for Roxanne Long? Will she bounce back stronger than ever, or are we about to see her embrace her inner savage? Only time will tell, but with Dylan by her side, we’re sure she’ll be just fine.

XOXO, Gossip Girl

@dylanrjackson @roxannelong

[tcm]

Paul Williams on His Regrets and Career By Donald Liebenson

“Bugsy Malone is like nothing else,” Roger Ebert wrote in his 1976 three-and-a-half-star review. “It's an original, a charming one.”

Alan Parker’s directorial debut, a one-of-a-kind gangster musical acted out by children (including Scott Baio in the title role and a then-13-year-old Jodie Foster as a sassy nightclub chanteuse), was an early career triumph for Paul Williams. Williams is everything that he wanted to be: an actor, an Oscar-winning songwriter of era-defining hits and composer of iconic movie scores. He’s something else, too: sober. Earlier this month he celebrated just over 30 years of sobriety. “When I got sober, the career I thought I had been gone for 10 years,” he says. “I feel like Lazarus; I’m 80-years-old, and I feel like a tired 34.”

But he’s ebullient talking about BUGSY MALONE, a cult favorite in the United States, but in its native England, it is something of a viewing rite of passage for children, thanks in part to a 1980s stage adaptation by Micky Dolenz. The film itself won four BAFTAs, including Best Screenplay and Best Newcomer and Best Supporting Actress for Foster. Williams was nominated for two Golden Globes, including Original Score and Original Song.

He has completed a new musical, Fortunate Sons, about how the Vietnam War draft lottery affects two households. His last major acting role was as ex-lawyer and informant JT on two seasons of the Amazon series, Goliath. “I’ve always said I’m a pretty good songwriter for an out-of-work actor,” he jokes. “Acting is where I got my start.”

Where in the process did you get involved with Bugsy Malone?  

Paul Williams: BUGSY MALONE began as a bedtime story Alan made up for his kids. Every night he put his kids to bed, they said, ‘Tell us more about Bugsy tomorrow night, dad.’ So maybe the answer to that question is that the headwaters of BUGSY MALONE is Alan’s love for his children and his great love for the traditional American gangster film. He found a place where those two things would meet in a way that was really unique.

How did Bugsy Malone come to you? 

PW: Alan Parker liked my songs, but I don’t know where he got the idea to approach me. It was around the time of A STAR IS BORN (for which he co-wrote the Oscar-winning song “Evergreen” with Barbra Streisand). He sent me a batch of beautiful color drawings of the cars, the splurge guns and the sets. Then he sent me the script, and I loved it. I was playing Vegas a lot and when I agreed to do it, he came over to talk to me. I was opening for Liza Minnelli or Olivia Newton John, I don’t remember who. Alan and I sat down at a deli, drank coffee and I was just singing bits and pieces of songs that I thought would be good ideas. I thought we needed to open with a song about Bugsy. It poured out of me. When the marriage is right, that seems to happen with me.

What was your own connection to American gangster movies? Were you a fan?

PW: Oh, my god, I was a huge Humphrey Bogart fan. One of the great times that I ever had was doing THE CHEAP DETECTIVE, because I was playing Elisha Cook’s role from THE MALTESE FALCON. As a little boy, I knew his name before I knew Santa Claus. I remember when I first came back to Hollywood to try and make it as an actor, one of the first things that happened was I walked into a drug store just as (character actor) Royal Dano was walking out. You’ve seen him in a hundred movies. I said, ‘Hiya, Mr. Dano,’ and he snapped his head around and said, ‘Hello, young man.’ I told that story on Carson, and I got a letter from Royal Dano. He said, ‘Although I don’t remember meeting you, it seems to me you were thinner then.’ I love that.

How did you approach writing the songs, because they are songs being lip-synced by children, but they are not children’s songs. 

PW: The script is the Bible. The two basic tasks a songwriter have are to move the story ahead and to display the inner life of the characters. Alan Parker was similar to Jim Henson in that the rule of writing was to not write down to kids, but to write accurately for character and story. The characters Alan wrote were so strong; they are archetypes of the great Warner Bros. characters. Bugsy was John Garfield meets Humphrey Bogart.

Where did the idea come from to have the child actors lip-sync to adult voices?

PW: They got kids that could act, they got kids that could dance, but the songs had intricate rhythms and to find kids who could sing them was a challenge. I thought that if the automobiles are these weird little hybrids that make the sound of an engine but are being pedaled, and the guns shoot cream, then why couldn’t the kids sing with adult voices? It would have the feel of an animated film. It solved the whole problem. The one regret I will have my entire life is that I put another (singing) voice in Jodie Foster’s mouth; one of the great actors in American film history.  That’s a terrible legacy (laughs). I did that with (the character) Beef in PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE. I used a guy named Ray Kennedy who had a great beefy voice, but when I heard Gerritt Graham sing later, I thought maybe I should have given him a shot.

This was before your collaboration with Jim Henson and the Muppets. Was Bugsy Malone a project you personally wanted to take on as something your own children could see?

PW: Bugsy Malone is the one motion picture I’ve written songs for that I’ve seen more than anything that I ever worked on, and there’s a simple reason for it. When my wife and I broke up, I would spend the weekend with my kids and I would plunk them down in front of the TV with pizza and, god bless them, they must have seen BUGSY MALONE for years. Eventually, I learned how to talk to my kids and be a sober real dad, but my kids just love BUGSY.

The closing number, “You Give a Little Love,” is Bugsy Malone’s legacy song, much like “The Rainbow Connection” is for The Muppet Movie. It was even used in a Coca-Cola Super Bowl commercial.

PW: That song is pretty much my philosophy. I absolutely believe it. My entire life has proven to me that there is something about the elegance of kindness that has always had a solid return. The core philosophy of BUGSY MALONE is, ‘We could have been anything that we wanted to be/and it’s not too late to change.’

In America, Bugsy Malone received good reviews and is a cult favorite. But it’s huge in England. Why do you think it was so embraced there?

PW: We took it to the stage in the 1980s. Every kid in England, Wales and Ireland, but especially in Great Britain, grew up seeing BUGSY MALONE. It’s like GREASE in this country. Edgar Wright did BUGSY as a kid, which led me to a role in BABY DRIVER. 

Where do you rank Bugsy Malone in the Paul Williams canon?

PW: It is probably the best opportunity I ever had in this life to preach a little kindness. It’s probably the best opportunity I’ve ever been given to express the possibilities and probabilities that we could be anything we want to be. I was the runt of the litter from the Midwest; this little dude who didn’t fit into any world. I just absolutely loved music and movies and without thinking twice, I thought, ‘I’m going to do that.’ I hope BUGSY MALONE inspires that for anyone looking up at the screen and is attracted to the possibilities of telling the truth about themselves in a way that helps someone else.

Bugsy Malone is but one chapter in an incredible life and career. Have you given any thought to writing your autobiography? 

PW: You know what? In recovery we call it an inventory (laughs). I think I’m at a place in my life where I feel like a beginner, like I’m just getting started. I know how idiotic that sounds at 80, but I want three digits on my driver’s license, and I think the one thing that gives me a shot at that is that I love being busy and doing the things that matter most to me, and that’s trying to tell the truth in a way that helps someone else.

[scarytat]

Humprey Theory

In a follow up to my cap theory post, I have a few ideas about Humprey’s death. 

1. The idiots like to mention famous persons from that ghosts era in a sure nod to their horrible histories upbringing. Thomas mentioned Byron with wrath in the first series, but lo, a random officer killed him. The only person Humphrey mentions is Henry VIII. Going by Humphrey’s allusion to the banquet, we can estimate he was alive and in the inner circle of court during Henry’s later life when he was famed for such banquets. Say 1527-47 (the last 20 years of Henry’s life). I think Humphrey was present then, but died after Henry’s death, as his clothes tell us...

2. Humphrey’s ruff is of a later date, 1550 onwards, so he was beheaded after Henry’s death, ruling out Henry as the beheader. 

As you can see, during Henry VIII’s reign collars not ruffs were the fashion. But after his death, around 1560 onwards, we see closer matches to Humphrey’s clothing.

3. What did happen in the mid-1500s was the reformation, where both Protestants and Catholics were fighting for control and beheadings were common. He alludes to a French wife, which is interesting as England was at war with France and Scotland until 1550. Humphrey moves in inner royal circles so perhaps he was accidentally involved in the fight for power after Henry’s death, as a nine year old King Edward was in charge on paper but not in court. 

4. There is the theme of betrayal, and that is why the ghosts cant be ‘sucked-off’. So Humphrey’s story is probably one of betrayal during a big historical event, death of leader, religious reformation or war. Probably by someone he felt close to like a relative, friend or ally.

5. As with other demises, I don’t think we have been introduced to the character yet. It tends to be a villainous character, kinda outside the plot. So it probably won’t be his wife and he doesn’t get angry over Henry. Enter Lord such and such in a flashback...

6. The idiots said that mentally they stay where they died. Humphrey’s resignation and willingness to please, along with his considered insightfulness give him a sort of narrator role in the plot. His eyes are open to deception. I think his death will involve him realising too late to save himself that he was set up by someone he trusted, hence his knowing. But perhaps there’s another layer, like they were doing it to save themselves, hence his morose sort of forgiveness.

Thoughts? There really isn’t much to go on...

[filthy-reckless-rp]

♛ Spotted on the Upper East Side…

Name: Meredith Park Pronouns: She/Her Age: 20 years old Hometown: Upper East Side, NY Occupation: TBD Social Status: Insider Faceclaim: Im Jinah

Who Is Meredith?

“This is how to be a heartbreaker, boys they like the look of danger, we’ll get him falling for a stranger, a player.”

My, my, if it isn’t my favourite little menace. Some people read a good book when they’re bored or text a boring ex but you, Meredith Park, take things to a whole new level. When you’re bored, chaos usually follows. It’s a coin toss on whether you’ll post a cute selfie or ruin a man’s life when the whim hits you and I for one love that for you. You barely know the meaning of the word ‘consequence’ and let’s be honest, you could get away with murder if you wanted. Sure, sometimes your actions can be a little harsh or destructive but whatever, right? You’re just having fun. Whatever happened to having a sense of humour around here. I totally understand. You love your life, you love your bestie and you love doing whatever the hell you want. If something isn’t broken, then don’t fix it. I’ll see you soon, Mer. XOXO ---Gossip Girl

A Little Extra

When you combine restlessness with Meredith Park you get nothing but trouble. All her life she hasn’t been able to sit still and her idea of ‘fun’ isn’t always, well, fun. At least not for her victims (how dramatic, right?). Meredith doesn’t tend to spare thoughts for other people’s feelings especially when they’re not in the inner inner circle. In fact, if she were being brutally honest which she often is, if it was a choice between her (and her bestie Ava, of course) and the rest of the world, the world would not come out winning. There’s nothing wrong with being selfish. Meredith doesn’t expect anyone else to look out for her so she does it herself just to be sure. Growing up though she was totally spoiled and doted upon as needed. Meredith could have almost anything she wanted and in true Upper East Sider fashion, it was never really enough.

When it comes to her life, Meredith likes things just the way they are. She likes to know who her friends are, who her enemies are and who is worth blowing kisses at. Disruption to the status quo is not allowed in Meredith Park’s world. As Blair Waldorf once said, some people are simply better than others and there’s no room for the Dan Humphreys of the world to be sniffing around. When the occasion calls for it, Meredith can pull out the charm. She can be an angel just long enough to fool you and then hell usually follows. And one hell of a headache as well. Meredith is someone who you always hear rumours about, someone who is always allegedly doing something outrageous and that just makes you want to meet her. Hang out with her. Unfortunately, hanging out with Meredith is not for the faint of heart as few found out during the great limo escapade (wild story, you should look into it). Meredith Park is simply here to live her best life and she doesn’t care who she has to cross do it.

What Does Gossip Girl Have On Them?

Meredith loved Gossip Girl. GG was never afraid to be interesting or mean and it was exciting. Jesse was a giant snooze as always for trying to take her down. Mer has the popcorn out waiting for the big return. Maybe GG knows what the hell’s going on with her bestie and the life crisis they’re having ATM as well.

Connections

Ava St. James - listen! Ava is Meredith’s best friend in the whole damn world. Ride or die. Ava is the only person that Meredith truly loves and cares about. That’s her person! Her #1! Is she absolutely furious and hurt that Ava cancelled their lifelong gap year plan to party around the globe to- to (hold on, it takes a moment to even say) build homes for, like, poor people or whatever? You could say that.

Isobel Prescott - as a messy bitch who loves drama, Meredith is lowkey obsessed with Isobel Prescott. The former Queen B and Ice Queen (affectionate), Isobel is the drama.

Penelope Shafai - Meredith lowkey loves Penelope. She’s the perfect person to gossip and judge with. Plus, she’s a babe.

Freddie Redlynn - okay so for those of you who’ve been living under a rock... The limo that Meredith and the girlies stole that fateful night for a joy ride, belonged to Freddie Redlynn (Mer always struggles to get that right). He was such a damn baby about the whole thing, Mer had to throw in a new car just to get him to shut up. So annoying.

[theendofeverafter]

Apple White: A Character Study (Chapter 2)

Below are my notes on Apple White’s character in Ever After High, specifically in Chapter 2. My Thronecoming notes will come in a separate post, as will my thoughts on most of the specials. As such, this post will be a bit shorter than my last one. Also, there isn’t as much material regarding Apple in Chapter 2, so a big part of this will be some thoughts on other characters. I anticipate I’ll have more Apple-specific content in Thronecoming.

CHAPTER 2

- (Side note: I love the friendship trio of Briar, Cupid, and Hopper)

- (Side note: Duchess being the tallest female character gives me life. I like that she's imposing in her stature and her personality.)

- It's sad that Apple's entire understanding of love is about finding "predetermined princes". She's never had a chance to explore her own ideas about what love might be. This is why I'm really glad that Daring isn't her Prince Charming.

- (Side note: Raven likes to pretend that she doesn't care about Daring's good looks, but she was extremely excited when she thought that he was her secret admirer. Perhaps it's a defense mechanism? Daring is supposed to defeat her in "their" story, and I'm sure heroes like him weren't the friendliest to children of villains.)

- Love how Apple's mind is completely blown when she sees a Royal dating a Rebel

- For once Apple doesn't keep up appearances on camera and in person: when Raven is being interviewed by Blondie, she rushes into the room crying and kicks her feet against the bed. She gives a mopey interview herself, and she continues to mope in her classes until Ashlynn confronts her.

- "Ash, this is hard for me." Sis PLEASE I'm begging you to think about other people and their feelings. Nice job (temporarily) breaking up a nice couple.

- (Side note: Duchess + Sparrow <3)

- A piece of Apple's heart shattered when Ashlynn left the Royals to become a Rebel lmao

- I'm finished 😂 Apple saw Ashlynn and Hunter having a moment in the spotlight and she said "not on my watch!" I promise you can enjoy your life without making everything about yourself

- (yes I realize that her facial expression is likely due to her reconsidering her stance against Rebel-Royal relationships, but my interpretation is funnier to me)

- "…I might think you're doing the wrong thing, but I want you to know that we'll always be friends, no matter what." What a backhanded statement lmaooo

- Apple is mean wtf, she doesn't want Raven to take Princessology just because she's the daughter of a villain. Raven's going to rule a kingdom someday, right? Shouldn't she learn the ropes?

- Also, she assumes Home Evilnomics is Raven's favorite class. I highly doubt that's the case.

- This "competition" is one-sided. Raven wasn't even competing with Apple. She dropped Princessology like 10 minutes in, whereas Apple dug herself into a hole with Home Evilnomics. Considering Apple is supposed to be an A+ student, I'm sure she's horrified to think about what a poor grade in the class could do to her GPA (or FPA, I guess). In conclusion, Duchess Swan for valedictorian.

- Apple gets a baking contest for her birthday and a school-wide celebration. I suppose she's the princess of Ever After, but this seems a little too much for one 16-year-old girl.

- Blondie is Apple's ride or die for real. What kind of friend volunteers to be a taste-tester at a school attended by future fairytale villains?

- (Side note: I love how Ashlynn now eats lunch with Hunter and the Rebels. They're probably much more interesting to talk to than the Royals.)

- Apple learns an important lesson from Cedar that I think is underrated (also, if you didn't know, Apple and Cedar have the same voice actress and it's very noticeable). Apple's been raised to think that beauty is the most important thing because that's what saves girls like her. Huntsmen help her escape. Woodland creatures fawn over her. Princes can't help but run to her aid at the slightest bit of misfortune. It's her only lifeline as someone who will be targeted by a villain. Cedar, on the other hand, is a character who needs inner qualities to help her have a good life. No one cares if she or people like her are pretty. She needs a quick wit, intelligence, and good personality traits. It's good to see Apple encountering something that contradicts her worldview and accepting it.

- (Side note: I don’t think it’s cool that Mattel portrayed Sparrow as a bad musician. He can obviously play the guitar well. It'd be way more interesting if he and his band were serious musicians trying to build a following, in my opinion. I'll probably pursue that storyline in my own story.)

- (Side note: Maddie gets the least amount of characterization for a main/supporting character in the entire series. That's very odd to me. She's the comic relief, the wild card, and someone who can move the plot along when the characters get stuck. But we don't hear much about her otherwise, which sucks since she's my favorite character. How does she really feel about having to live in Ever After? Who is her mother [or does she even have one?] Is she content with taking over her father's tea shoppe, or does she have other aspirations? She feels very "frozen in time" to me.)

- (Side note: Lizzie + Daring. That is all.)

- It's interesting how Apple knows she can use male attention to her advantage and does so eagerly. I mean, who wouldn't?

- Good on her for using her power to enact change quickly (in regards to the ducks).

- (Semi-side note: Who else isn't surprised that Blondie is the decision maker for the group? She's probably the "let me speak to your supervisor" girl of every friend group when they go out together.)

- (Side note: My headcanon is that Lizzie is the shortest girl in their year. She's obviously smaller than the people from Ever After, as most Wonderlandians are, and Courtly's "Little Lizzie Hearts" comment adds to this. I should probably now mention that another headcanon of mine is that Humphrey Dumpty and Nina Thumbell are a year below the main cast...)

CONCLUSION

Not much has changed with Apple. Her character has already been established, and most of what she does here reinforces her traits. You do see a slight shift during the True Hearts Day saga, but in my opinion it’s nothing substantial. Currently gearing up for Thronecoming b/c I know we’re gonna get the full Apple experience in that movie lmao

[dex-xe]

I've made Spotify playlists inspired by each of the ghosts and I've made these little written pieces to talk about them. if you wanna read them, please go ahead - if not then enjoy the music!!

This is Robin's playlist:

Somebody Told Me - The Killers

Robin is a stadium rock kinda guy, I guarantee you that. I’ve said this before multiple times but I love the idea of Alison trying to find music for all the ghosts that she things they’d like and he’d totally like music where he could watch gigs and festivals of people just going mental and jumping about. (I have actually written a fic here about Robin having watched stadium rock so yeah, go read that if you’d like!)

Starman - David Bowie

I feel like this is obvious cause space boy but also I interpret the song as being about the idea of accepting change. The Starman sits above Earth and knows things that “will blow our minds”, they understand more than humans do or ever could know much like Robin who has seen more than can be imagined and is wise beyond his time.

The Universal - Blur

This song encapsulates the two primary things I drew from in making Robin’s playlist which are space and the passage of time. But yeah, it’s kinda a sci-fi-esque song that I think is quite fitting. I’ve also seen a lot of discusison about how it’s a commentary on the downfall of society under the epidemic of believing everything you read which is like conspiracy theory Robin talking about the moon landing not happening and the Earth being flat.

Space Oddity - David Bowie

Just the image of Robin as a spaceman makes me happy, I saw some fanart of the ghosts in the outfits they described at clothes club and the one of Robin was so good!! (They are all great but that one in particular is super cute). If I can find it then I’ll link it here.

Spaceman - The Killers

Again, space vibes. Not writing much for this one because it’s self explanatory but also I’m writing this while listening the playlist through and I’m still searching for the fanart from the previous song XD

Run Boy Run - Woodkid

(Found the art) That scene where Robin is running through the woods to fetch Barclay in BitN always reminds me of this song because of like the fast pace and the way it would nicely meld with his like stompy running through the woods.

Starlight - Muse

Actually not chosen for the space theme (although it helps). Basically just the idea of being so far away from those you love, I feel like it goes so underappreciated that Robin is not a few centuries or even just a handful of deacdes away from his life like all the others but he is literally MILLENIA from his family and community. He must miss them so much, I think the whole “everything comes, everything go, but moonah always there” (not a quote cause I only have until the song finishes and can’t to search for the correct line) really indicates just how lonely he must be after literally thousands of year. He spent ~40,000 alone before even Humphrey turned up???

Carry Me Home - The Killers

See above answer but add in the idea of not really belonging where you are, like I said he’s 1000s of years older than anyone else and is way more out of his time than anyone else.

Dark Side - Blind Channel

This would obviously be one of his favourites from this years Eurovision so I had to include it, again I just think he’d really like energetic music so I think it’s a good call.

Baby You’re a Haunted House - Gerard Way

I wanted to include this song in someone’s playlist because, well it’s obvious, but I think it’s a pretty decent song. But yeah, I settled on Robin because of the lyrics focussing on like having to be happy and positive in love while dealing with trauma and inner demons and stuff and I think that’s potentially very Robin cause of the fact he’s been at the house for years and watched everything come and go. He’s positive and upbeat despite the obvious trauma he’s experienced.

Love Illumination - Franz Ferdinand

Basically thought to be about the idea that destruction and boredom is all around us so we look towards things that make us happy and spark love to distract from that. (According to Wikipedia) Alex Kapranos said that he would look to the bright lights of Blackpool for that love - the idea of light and illumination being important to Robin’s distraction and boredom-aliviation in the afterlife.

The Whole of the Moon - The Waterboys

Space boy space boy space boy. Kinda about the idea of somebody seeing and understanding more than others… obvious but yeah I really like the song and am very fixated on Robin’s process of growing into a world that is so unnatural to him but picking up on modern ideas through his time.

Ghosting - Mother Mother

I felt the need to include this for someone so after much debate settled on Robin cause he’s been there for so long and it’s just a nice vibe for him.

Kidz - Take That

I know this is about protest and uprising etc but I think the idea of questioning authority and the very concept of reality and looking to turn things upside down fits nicely with Robin’s loves of conspiracy theories and his unwillingness to accept things straight off but instead question everything he sees.

Cities In Dust - Siouxsie and the Banshees

This is one of my favourite Siouxsie songs: it’s about the destruction of Pompeii and I again think that’s very Robin because, like I said, he’s experienced the destruction of everything around him. Obviously on a completely different level to the fall of Pompeii and over a long period of time but everything he once knew lies in dust but he can’t escape what the world is like now.

Teenage Kicks - The Undertones

It’s just a punk anthem and just a classic, you know?? I have no further explanation but I dare you to tell me this is not a Robin song XD

Across The Universe - The Beatles

It’s not particularly about space or the universe but the vibe is good and the line “nothing’s gonna change my world” is open to my interpretation as being like holding on to the past while watching things outside your control change.

Fly Me to the Moon - Joytastic Sarah & YungRhythm

This is an obvious choice, clearly, but I wanted to include this version because it’s more modern and more representative of Robin’s acceptance of the new world and new ideas.

20th Century Boy - T. Rex

The meaning of this song are very much up for debate, I’ve never been able to interpret it I don’t think. But it just gave me Robin vibes, maybe it’s because of the modern pop culture references which make me think of someone kinda out of their time picking up modern ideas and kind of regurgitating it - much like Robin’s instant believing of conspiracy theories etc.

Apeman - The Kinks

Obvious but yeah, caveman. Kinda nostalgic for simpler times as it lists like tons of things that are shit about todays world (nuclear war, inflation, over population) and how much easier it would be to live in a society without those things - things Robin has grown up into rather unnaturally.

[theniftycat]

What pets do you think the ghosts other than Fanny had in life?

Oh, I love this question!

I love the thought of Robin having an early dog, he would genuinely be a decent owner and would respect its feral needs. I don’t think many animals were domesticated back then, but dogs already were.

The plague pit obviously had every kind of domestic animals.

I think Humphrey had many dogs who he would hunt with, also, horses. I bet he’d have great fondness for all of them. I believe cats were more of pest control back then, but he’d still pet them when he saw them around the house.

Mary would be iconic with a cat, lol. I get the vibe that she had strong feelings about geese. Either she loved them or hated them.

Kitty would greatly benefit from having a pet. I also think she’d love having a cat.

Thomas obviously had a horse. I don’t get strong pet owner vibes from him, but he probably was genuinely caring of his horse. He would be kind to other animals too, but probably didn’t have time for them, being consumed by his inner passions.

Captain being a military man probably didn’t have pets as an adult, but he probably also loved animals. I think he had a childhood dog who he loved a lot. If they had a regiment cat, he probably went out of his way to bring it treats.

Pat grew up with so many dogs. Then he had dogs when he got a family himself. He just loved them, the more of them the better.

Julian would kick a cat. Maybe his wife had one. And he would kick it.

[fly-pow-bye]

DuckTales 2017 - “The Fight for Castle McDuck!”

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Christian Magalhaes, Ben Siemon, Bob Snow

Written by: Madison Bateman

Storyboard by: Stephanie Gonzaga, Krystal Ureta, Brandon Warren, Hayley Foster

Directed by: Matthew Humphreys

A family feud!

This episode begins with Scrooge, the nephews, and Webby making another trip to Castle McDuck to meet Scrooge's parents. How are they able to visit this castle with that mist that only disappears every five years, as explained in the last episode that featured Scrooge's parents? Apparently, there's a fritz in the castle's mist, and Fergus, Scrooge's father, immediately blames Scrooge for giving them a lemon. As Webby narrates this clenched-teeth meeting of father and son into her tape recorder, Downy, Scrooge's mother, goes up and hugs the two.

Downy McDuck: Oh, let's just be thankful for this unexpected family visit! Group hug! (hugs Scrooge and Fergus, not really accepting of this)

Just in time for Thanksgiving weekend! Okay, it's not really a Thanksgiving special and it may be just a coincidence as there's no proof of Disney swapping the intended order of episodes this time, but it is an episode where someone is thankful for a family gathering that will involve some food; I've seen flimsier excuses to air episodes at certain times. Webby isn't the only one happy to see Scrooge's family again, as Huey, Dewey, and Louie are after yet another artifact: the Blessed Bagpipes of Clan McDuck. Yes, it's not just one of Scrooge's catchphrases, it's also an ancient artifact that was foretold to Huey by a druid somewhere between Mount Neverrest and that place where the Terrafirmians went after that one episode.

No, just kidding, it's yet another artifact in that journal that seems to be used to make filler episodes to feel more important. This is not to say this episode isn't necessary. These Blessed Bagpipes have a bit more potential than, say, the Sword of Swanstentine: the bagpipes are told to be able to bring life to the lifeless. Louie doesn't interpret this as zombies, but instead just hears is that this is a rare and potentially expensive artifact, and since they already dealt with this castle's traps before, it should be easy to get! As for Dewey, he's going to be important later.

Scrooge isn't really here for Thanksgiving or the bagpipes, though, he's here essentially as a magic castle repairman. Using his cane, he pokes the druid stones that usually power that mist that keeps his parents out of his sight, and he comes to the conclusion that it seems like the magic was sucked out of it. Even if we didn't see the cause right before the opening, which we do, this is a good enough hint to what could have possibly happened. Fergus doesn't believe him, and Scrooge replies with him asking why he even asked him to do this instead of getting one of his other children to do the dirty work. Short answer: he tried.

Meet Matilda McDuck, the youngest sister of Scrooge, who likes to start random businesses like emu farms. The very sight of a new McDuck neither she nor the audience has seen regresses Webby back to her Season 1 "McDuck fangirl" persona. Why wouldn't she still have that? Most of all, to her, there's no such thing as sibling rivalry in Clan McDuck, as McDucks always stay together! I'm assuming the sibling fights Huey Dewey and Louie sometimes get in are because they're merely Ducks.

McDucks, on the other hand, don't really do fights, as exemplified by Scrooge handing his sister a whole bill to invest in this empire of giant emu eggs. Wow, Scrooge must have been impressed: usually it's just a coin that's worth less than even if it was just one dollar! She immediately rejects the bill because she doesn't do family investments, unlike Scrooge and his Number One Dime. She then puts him in a headlock. Webby pays this no mind and talks about this sibling friendship, while Dewey just sits in the background and sarcastically says, "yeah, sure." No, being the stand-in for the audience isn't his important bit.

Huey and Louie get into a sibling rivalry of their own, as Huey plans to do this epic adventure to get the bagpipes, with plenty of strategies that Louie calls, and trademarks after a long yawn, "boring nerd stuff". Louie, on the other hand, decides to do the "ask really loudly to the great-great grandma where the magic bagpipes are" approach, and Great Great Grandma Downy just tells them that bagpipe must be in the junk room, and she'll even show them where it is.

Louie's faces during these scenes are top-notch; there's a fine line between "off-model to the point where it's disturbing" and "off-model enough to be funny", and the scenes are more in the latter. We might even see it with Huey, who seems to be desperately trying to keep that inner Duke of Making A Mess in control.

If one hasn't guessed yet, our villain of the week is none other than the Phantom Blot. We saw the Phantom Blot earlier in the episode, sucking up some castle magic with his magic-sucking gauntlet. He's joined by one of the Eggheads, a charismatic, overly happy sidekick named Pepper. The first time I watched this episode, I thought this was Matilda in a disguise, but then I noticed she didn't have those circles under her eyes. This is a totally different duck.

Blot didn't want any duck to be his partner, or any partner at all, but F.O.W.L. won't allow Missing Mystery taking alone. The Blot has his own vested interest in destroying anything magical, especially something as dangerous as a bagpipe that can turn something that's lifeless into living things. This is the second episode in a row where someone wants to take an artifact they feel is too dangerous, though it's done in a different way.

Unknowing of any kind of evil, Webby, Scrooge, Dewey, and Webby are going on a tour through the castle. Webby stops at a room full of statues, including one statue of Danny McDuck that happens to be holding a bagpipe with symbols on it. Webby is completely enamored by all of this, but Dewey questions which one of their ancestors is invisible. Matilda explains that this space was left blank until a worthy McDuck can be immortalized in this room with a statue. Webby talks about an obvious candidate for such an immortalization: Scrooge McDuck!

Matilda laughs at this nomination, saying that it would be more fitting for someone who actually takes care of the castle, while Scrooge fights back by saying not only has be built this castle, but he built the castle that gave her and their parents immortality. This is where Webby's main conflict in the episode lies: she can't believe two McDucks can talk to each other like that, and, despite being told that sibling rivalry happens all the time by Dewey, she vows to fix this.

Her first attempt at doing this? Let Scrooge look at an old family diary. This appears to work pretty well, as Scrooge is reminded of his first brother-sister mud pie business. Unfortunately for Webby's plan to let this feud end so early, one of the photos happens to be Whiskers, Scrooge's pet hairball, being around his sister, going against the story he was told that Whiskers ran away. Not only is Whiskers still around...

...Whiskers had a new fur dying session, too! The emu eventually biting it ends up being the last straw, causing him and her to get into a sibling quibble. It's funny to see these people acting like children, even yelling out to their mom to tell on each other. It's not so funny to Webby, who thinks that she's going to break her beloved Clan McDuck, though Dewey insists this is normal. It's good that Webby isn't perfect, but one knows she's going the wrong way here.

Meanwhile, in the junk room their great great grandma led them to, they see a whole bunch of bagpipes stacked onto each other. Once again, we see Huey trying to think of a good strategy to find out which one is the real bagpipe, and Louie just runs up and jumps on the pile. This massive bagpipe blowing this not only causes does cause a mystical bow and arrow to break a canister of tiny green flying lightbug beings that exclaim their freedom, but it also proves that all of these bagpipes are just ordinary bagpipes. That mystical bow and arrow also causes Huey to drop the book near a cardboard box that Pepper and the Blot were hiding in. Must have learned that from some snake.

This scene with Pepper and the Phantom Blot does show us one thing: she may seem like an incompetent sidekick, and the Blot sure treats her like one as he didn't want a sidekick to begin with, but she knows a clue when she sees one. She takes a picture of it with her smartphone, and deduces that the symbols that were drawn on it represent different rooms of Castle McDuck. This begins a slow bit of character development for the Phantom Blot, who was merely just "I hate magic and everyone" before this.

Meanwhile, as Webby is watching the family aggressively eat their dinner, she comes up with a plan. She even ropes Dewey into this for his big, important moment. Dewey gets to show his best talent...

...pretend he accidentally died while trying to make everyone happy by making two statues! See, it's a win-win situation for everyone: Matilda and Scrooge would believe they're both deserving of statues, and Scrooge basically confirms what Dewey always knew: that he was the favorite. Honestly, I'd say he's only saying that because he's supposedly dead, but don't tell Dewey that. By the way, Scrooge falls for this even though Scrooge did fake his death before in this series. I should also talk about how Webby would have to find a way to show that Dewey didn't actually die for potential future adventures, but she won't need to even think about that.

Huey and Louie end up in this room, too, and Dewey just couldn't resist telling them that Scrooge said he's the favorite. This leads to even more bickering amongst Clan McDuck. This ends up being a perfect distraction for the Phantom Blot and Pepper to sneak around the room, too. Webby doesn't notice those two, but she finally decides enough is enough, and outright calls out the family for their bickering, saying that it just isn't the Clan McDuck way. Scrooge decides to agree, and says Matilda is worthy of being the next Clan McDuck statue...

...because he's no longer going to be a member of Clan McDuck! This part feels like it should be in the trailers as a misleading line, as anyone would guess this would eventually be reversed, but even I'm not so sure if it was in the end. It really goes to show that Webby pretty much did what she feared she was going to do. It's going to take a miracle to fix up this family, and it has to be something blessed.

Remember that Danny McDuck statue with the bagpipe? Turns out, that's where the bagpipe was hiding all this time. Unfortunately, it wasn't any of the Ducks or McDucks that figured this out first, but it was Pepper. Admittedly, she had to smash through the bagpipe of the statue to find it, and I'm sure even with their bickering, degrading one of the statues would be a huge faux pas. The good news is that, while she may be able to figure out a mystery, she's still somewhat of a klutz, as she drops the bagpipe. Not only does this finally reveal the sinister villains behind what caused that fritz in the mist, we get to see that ability to give life to the lifeless that was foretold by that book.

No, not zombies, but the bagpipes give life to the lifeless statues! It seems like this episode was going to go to a rather predictable ending, showing the now separated family that Webby was right all along, and that Clan McDuck is all about being together. Just let those statues show what being a family is all about. This could very well be, but the bagpipes gave them the vocal cords of the people they're based on, too.

They immediately start fighting, starting with who stole the bagpipe, and Webby lets out an "oh, come on!". Not only does this lead to a big statue fight, this leads to a bunch of other fights. The statues are fighting, Clan McDuck are fighting, and even Huey, Dewey, and Louie are fighting. The last one seems a little tacked on, but it does add a little more power to the scene where Webby talks into her tape recorder about how, in her quest to strengthen Clan McDuck, she managed to ruin it. Even if I wasn't as big of a fan of Webby's antics in this episode, as I think she should absolutely know what she was trying to fix in the beginning was normal, it's still a powerful scene.

There's also a scene where The Phantom Blot and Pepper, hide behind a pillar, and Blot uses this opportunity to scold Pepper on nearly ruining the entire mission. It's nice to see the Phantom Blot actually getting a little development here.

Of course, in the end, they do make up. A lot of this is due to the situation that surrounds them, and Scrooge even uses that to get those ancestor statues to finally stop fighting and get these F.O.W.L. agents out of their hair. Because, and I'm sure people will see this line coming a mile away...

Agnes McDuck (the one in the royal dress): Nobody fights our family but US!

Heh, get it, because all they've been doing before this is bicker. Nonetheless, it's still a good lesson, and it's good to see Webby still learn lessons from Clan McDuck that she wouldn't have learned anywhere else. In the end, the villains get defeated, and the family does find some way to get together and do something, even if it is as simple as cleaning up the mess everyone did. Happy Thanksgiving...kind of.

How does it stack up?

Matilda is entertaining, and while I feel Webby is the weak point of the episode, her actions do lead to a good lesson in the end. Four Scrooges.

Next, ho ho ho, oh no no no.

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