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parfaitblogs · 2 months ago

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sleeping with the lights on ❀ s. reid x reader

in which the first time you kill an unsub hits you like a truck, and spencer reid is there to pick up you back up.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: hurt/comfort tags: comfort very little hurt. ptsd. description of someone being shot. this is my thesis for my phd in yapology. spencer reid loves you sooo much like sooo much. word count: 2k a/n: i miss posting… i miss you guys… im deeply sorry for not posting for over a month. i have so much in the works i promise i promise!! anyways yesss i read dostoevsky before writing this im sure you can tell russian novelists take over your brainnn.

"thank you for loving me when i still tasted of heartache and war." (nikita gill)

There is a certain shade of fear behind a person's eyes when they know they are about to die.

When there is a gun levelled at their heads, and the wrong thing spills past their mouth, even the most psychotic of God's men will see a second of fear before there is tranquility. Survival instincts kick in, and no narcissistic, smug facade can ever deny that specific human brain's worst fear is dying.

Is it not most?

Fear of what dying feels like. Does it hurt? When every organ in your body shuts down, is it slow, and the most agonising of feelings? Or is it quick; painless? Does your brain shut down first and therefore render you unable to actually register the agony you're in? What happens after is an entirely new rabbit hole to delve into.

Where does our conscious actually go after life? A permanent state of nothingness sounds lonely. Heaven implies there is a celestial being behind everything. Reincarnation means you have to live through this doomed from the start world all over again, and you won't even know it is your second, third, hundredth time on Earth.

Guilt.

An annoyingly human emotion that will eat at you from the inside out, chewing its way through organ and bone, consuming you so wholly you stop believing you are worth anything to anyone. You can nurse your own brain back to a faux sense of health, rocking back and forth on the cold wooden planks of apartment flooring, but you can never erase the guilt that takes over your body. For when it is this strong, it is more than just a mere pit churning in your stomach.

It's cold on your side of the bed.

He's pretty sure it's what prompts him awake at the glaring hour of two forty seven in the morning.

Rumpled sheets provide him the needed comfort that he didn't imagine you going to sleep with him only mere hours earlier, but the lack of warmth left on the fabric frightens him into thinking you've been awake for hours. He pats it down anyway, seeking any inkling of body warmth left within the fabric. Proof that you are still nearby, and haven't had enough time to run too far.

You haven't.

By the time his eyes adjust to the blackness of the room, he can see the shadowed outline of your body sitting at the end. Head just visible from your balled up position on the floor, rocking yourself as a desperate attempt to comfort whatever is going on inside your brain.

He says your name quietly, voice a barely there whisper as he shuffles across the bed to lower next to you. It sounds crackly to your ears, and he's in dire need of water if he wants to fix the hoarseness of it. But you are also as quiet as you hum in response, wiping your eyes with the backs of your hands and turning your head to look at him.

He doesn't say anything as he coaxes you into his welcoming arms, fingers brushing against your scalp, and accepting your heavy hearted emotions as they are. He lets your walls crumble, and holds on as you sob into his chest, dampening the fabric of his shirt in a way he doesn't particularly like, but he will ignore it for you.

There's a layer of distaste for the position you are in that almost wills you to rip his arms off of you. Guilt coincides with self loathing more often than not, and he is holding you as if you are soft.

You are not.

"Do you ever think about dying?" you whisper.

There is silence in his apartment that follows your question, and your eyes transfix on the glow of the moon through the sheer curtains on his windows. It blurs with the fabric, the illusion of a fuzzy circle. You wouldn't know it was the moon if you weren't holding onto its existence with a vicelike grip.

"I do," he finally provides you, predictably so. "A lot."

"I didn't," you reply, clasping your fingers with his own hand, tracing circles over his knuckles to focus your mind. "Not intensely. Did you know being shot can sometimes feel like nothing?"

"For the first few moments, yes," he nods. Of course he did. "It's due to the nerve networks being our receptors for pain, as opposed to the tactile sensors. Signals move slower between the brain and the nociceptors, which are our pain receptors."

"Do you think he felt nothing when he died?"

A question weighing tonnes. He's silent for a few crucial moments, and you slowly come to your own conclusion of what the answer would be. Probably yes, for you had located where the bullet landed after you'd fired it, and you knew whatever pain receptors he had still functioning would never get those signals to his brain. He was brain dead before he'd even hit the floor.

"I can't tell you what he felt for absolute certain," he replies, gently shaking your body out of its frozen position so he could lift your limbs atop of his own. He lets you finish the movement of climbing into his lap, face burying into his neck, his arms encircled tight around your waist. "You'll drive yourself crazy thinking about this."

"I feel crazy."

"Honey," he places his palms on either side of your head and pulls it back so he can look at you, thumbs collecting the tears that fall from the movement. "Why is this overwhelming you?"

"I killed someone, Spencer," your voice wavers as you speak, cutting in and out, and you were already so quiet.

"You killed a man who killed a lot of people," he reasons. "Do you think he sat awake each night and pondered how they felt dying?"

"No, but—"

"—Then why are you?"

You stare at him in bewilderment for a few moments. You're aware there is a point within his accusatory words, but it does not communicate entirely, and you do not like the disdain for the man in front of you that wells in your chest.

"Because I'm not a psychopath," you murmur, fingers beginning to fidget with the hem of his own shirt.

He lets out a puff of air that hits your lips signalling his slight frustration, but he nods his head.

You call him out on it anyways.

"You're angry with me."

He offers you a small smile.

"I am not angry with you," his fingers poke your sides, and you squirm. "I'm watching you disappear in front of my eyes. I'm concerned."

Reasoning with him is futile.

Reasoning with him had been futile. He had his forearm wrapped tightly around a nineteen year old girl's throat, and a gun indenting into her temple. Morgan still tried to, and you'd watched nearly helplessly as the bullet clicked into place in the chamber.

Car crashes move time slowly, it's said. Watching a girl nearly die has the same effect, you suppose. Everything was so clear. You could map out every ridge on the gun, down to its tiniest, minute details. Every engraved line, the rest for his palm roughened from excessive use and sweat eroding at the metal. He was strong enough to manage both the sobbing and writhing girl in his arms and the less than light firearm, and you knew even if you had more than half a second to stop him, you could not without your gun.

The gunshot reverberated off the concrete walls, and a loud ringing followed you weren't used to. You'd heard gunshots before. You were inured to the sound of them ricocheting around warehouses similar to this, or the safer environment of the academy's firing range.

It's a different feeling when it's your own gun.

It's an all encompassing feeling when you catch the eyes of the person you are shooting at milliseconds before the bullet hits them. Fear in the eyes of a killer about to be killed. How stupidly poetic.

Perhaps there is a universe out there where humans are able to die in blissful ignorance.

"I used to think I'd be okay with killing an UnSub if I had to," you're staring at the threads fraying from his sweater's neckline, and he makes no move to return your eyes to his. "They're bad people, right? Killed a lot more than me for much less. But I'm—I'm not. I don't know if I ever will be. Where does that leave me? An agent who can't even stop a serial killer without having a breakdown."

"Do you think you're the only one?"

That catches your attention, and you can see the small specks of light in his otherwise dark eyes even in this shadowed room when you catch them.

"No. I know I'm not," you croak. Warmth covers your hands, and it's only then you recognise the movement of your own body. Gripping petulantly onto his sweater were your hands, his own providing a comforting blanket. "You never talk about it, though."

"I can. Do you want me to?"

Hesitantly, you nod, and he settles his leaning body against the bed.

"I killed a man named Phillip Dowd when I was twenty-four," he says. "He was an L.D.S.K. Long distance serial killer. How is unimportant, but it was a hostage situation. Like yours. I felt... nothing. For weeks I continued on as if I didn't have somebody's blood on my hands."

"Must be nice," you mumble.

He chooses not to acknowledge your words. "Gideon told me on our way home from the case that this would all hit me eventually. It took longer than it's taken you, evidently, but by the time it did came around, I let it control my life. It took taping photos of his victims to my walls to let him go."

"I don't want to do that," your knuckles wipe more falling tears, and you watch his lips turn up into a gentle smile.

"You won't have to. Crying about it is actually much healthier than what I was doing."

You're not sure if he's lying to make you feel better, but you lean into it regardless.

"Guilt is normal," he adds, quietly. "You're allowed to feel whatever you want to feel about this, but know that anger with yourself is displaced. You did what you had to do, and a lot of good people are alive because of what you did."

"Are you reciting a book to me?" you ask, and there is a warmth that blossoms in your chest when he huffs out a short laugh.

"Regurgitating the very advice I got when this happened to me, actually," he tilts his head and brings it in closer to yours. "The third was, I'm proud of you."

"For killing a man?" you whisper.

"For being brave enough to do the only move you had left."

"Is there really nothing else I could've done, though?"

There probably were a thousand things you could've done. You could've ran into him earlier in life and saved him from impotency. You could've been a childhood best friend that brought him out of a shell. You could've been his first kill that set the FBI after him immediately and stopped him from hurting anyone else. But his series of life events, and your own, ran parallel to each other until you were in that room with him pulling the trigger. A frustrating realisation that you can only let life run its course the way it's been meticulously threaded out for you, and the impacts you make on people's lives will be specific and forever preplanned by the fates.

"No," Spencer tells you, anyways, and you accept his one worded answer as the summary of your own spiralling thoughts. "Let's get you back to bed, yeah?"

"Yeah," you mumble, absentmindedly.

Your consciousness is outside your body as he helps you up, and you crawl inside the covers next to him. You can barely feel the cotton of sheets against your skin, nor the ghost of his hands on your hips as he pulls you close enough to him.

Distantly, he says goodnight to you, and reminds you he loves you. He doesn't press for a response, and you don't remember to give him one.

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡

#lia’s fics ♡#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid imagine #spencer x reader #spencer x self insert #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader angst #spencer reid x reader fluff #spencer reid hurt/comfort #spencer reid x reader hurt/comfort

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amoristt · 4 months ago

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the night falls like heaven || 2

part one (x)

「 ✦nam-gyu/reader ✦ 」 tags: sfw // hurt/comfort, mild sexual themes, mild violence, not as angsty as the first one lol, namgyu is a fake idgafer,

a/n: im so happy to get this final out UGH i do have one more small piece related to this mini series ( wink wink iykwim) that ill get posted asap! i hope you guys enjoy hehehe word count: 7.5k | songs i listened to (x) (x) original request (x)

・❥・When you open your eyes on the dawn of the third day, the first thing you’re met with other than the ceiling is the hushed whispering of other players already awake. Chatter that grew by the minute, drowned out below you.

Sitting up was a hassle for sore, sore muscles and aching bones that had been shaken to the very marrows. You remembered praying, staring up into the white tiles above, for god to give you an easier day than the last.

You weren’t sure how much more of this you could take.

Nothing could have prepared you for the third game. Mingle was a monster bearing teeth and a gaping maw, biting and snarling and killing. Blind panic, grabbing hands and twisting fingers. Room after room watching the light in someone's eyes go out through the miniscule gap in the heavy doors.

Almost every second of the game was spent in apprehensive terror, watching the room go round and round until you were dizzy between the colors and blood. The way fear had stricken you made it hard to focus on anything except numbers and faces, split second decisions that showed only the truest of nature, tailing the few people you’d grown acquainted with into rooms bathed in muted greens and oranges.

Nam-gyu was nowhere to be seen- or perhaps you were just simply overlooking him, lost in the sea of moving bodies and swaying feet.

Groups of six became five, and then four. One after the other, names of those you’d never gotten the chance to learn became grave markers. Four, and then three.

Over the days, you’d grown quite close to a player who’d happened to choose the bed a couple feet from yours, the both of you chatting about the people scattered about the dormitories. He was a kind man with dark hair and even darker eyes that never seemed to feel untrustworthy. Normal enough, friendly enough. Quick to let you join his team during the six-legged race even though you’d found him with a sour expression and an ever more sour attitude.

So when the number of players per room dropped to two, you jumped to grab his hand and yank him into a room. The least you could do, you think. He had been so kind when you kept messing up your minigame, managed to gather your confidence into the final try, you owed it to him to get him through his game.

You threw a door open and let him jump inside. For just a second, all the chaotic cries were muffled through the thick walls.

But only for a second. Because something true and powerful ripped you back by your tracksuit, dragged you right out from that room and sent you skittering on the floor feet away. The wind knocked from your lungs, the back of your head bouncing off the floor with a crack. Fireworks exploded behind your eyes, obscuring the scene before you, but not so much to miss a man slipping into the room after forcibly taking your place.

When you finally bring yourself to your feet and try to pry the door back open, you see your friend held back by that damned player all the way in the corner.

“Run!” Your friend cries. No sound reaches you. “Run!”

The step back you took was shaky, your mind swimming, lost under the ocean. Heat flooded your skin, prickly and loud. Your heart was a thrashing beat, beat, beat, in your ears.

Outcries and players beating on doors in the corners of your eyes.

You were going to die.

The first thing you think of, standing there frozen in place, watching your friend try in vain to free himself from the other player’s (your murderer’s) grip, was what death would be like. Doors slam shut, rooms occupied with poor souls clutching at the window trying to pry the doors open.

The player holding your friend back gave you sorry, sorry eyes despite it all.

You hoped the afterlife would be kinder than this.

And then, with seconds to live, you think of Nam-gyu. The time spent with him argues with the pit of hours spent wasted. Years of wondering and then days of having. It was never good for you, not really, but you loved him in a way that made you weak in the knees. And you missed him so, so deeply that when you’d locked eyes with him on day one there was this little part of you that hoped he did, too.

Clearly, he did. And you fought against him like a bull, his hands tearing away on your horns, all anger and sneers. A piece of you rearing its head, an angry beast that would prickle at the very thought of his name. A suit of rage to hide away that broken hearted girl standing in the doorway, wishing he’d stop her.

All that. Just to let him back in.

If you had known this was the end, perhaps you would have let him prove himself.

You’re yanked to the side so intensely you almost drop to the ground like a stone through murky waters. Running, somehow, even though you couldn’t feel your legs. Everything is a blur of colors and flashing pinks, your brain’s gears have gone haywire and firing blanks in the disarray. When you’re getting your footing back, and your eyes have decided to process the sight before you, you’re drowned out in green covering every corner.

Metallic thudding and muffled screams. You’re spun around on your heels so quickly it almost made you tip over all over again.

“Why the fuck were you just standing there?!”

You hear his voice before you see his face.

When you do, and Nam-gyu’s blocking that abhorrent neon light beating over your skin, it feels like all the gears have stopped. Tunnel vision, all else echoing away in chambers far forgotten. His hands drag from your shoulders to your face, tries to gather the bits of you scattered outside the room.

“What’s going on with you, huh? Listen to me!”

He’s angry. Or, at least, he looks like it- sounds angry too. But the way his eyes are scanning you, searching you over in noticeable distress tells you otherwise. Fingers running through your hair, tips dancing through your locks until suddenly they nudge up against something so sharply sensitive that it makes you leap. He’s quick to stop you when you try to shove against his chest.

“Hold still,” Fingers still searching, the palms flat against the sore spot you’d cracked against the hard floor. “You hit your head.”

Not angry, after all. Even the animosity in his tone has melted into something quieter. He draws back and checks his hands for blood.

“I’m fine.” You have this idea to push Nam-gyu away from you. For some reason, you don’t. You lean into him. Maybe it’s because your head is still struggling to support your brain. Or, maybe, it’s because at that moment you were grappling with the reality that was him being one of your final thoughts. Again.

Flirting with death was becoming a trend with a common denominator.

You bury your face into his chest and let yourself feel protected for the first time in years. For a moment, Nam-gyu tenses. Unsure, disbelief.

“Thank you.” Your voice was a gentle hum that vibrates against his chest, and sticky tears are dampening your water lines, lost in his tracksuit. Wakes him up, muscle memory wraps his arms around your body. You can’t hide the way you tremble like a leaf.

And you can’t hide the way he soothes it all out, rests his chin against the top of your head and lets you use him to find yourself in one piece.

You thank him again, even when he says not to. You thank him, and thank him, and thank him until the door unlocks and you follow him out like a braindead zombie. Pools of blood, now more than ever, are splattered along the floor.

You see yourself among them.

Still a meandering zombie all the way back to the dormitories. The top bunks have all been taken down, marking the end of lives. There’s a pit in your stomach that only alleviates when you lock eyes with your friend- and this stupid grin explodes over your face when he realizes you lived. He’s across the room from you now, but he’s warm all the same.

It takes a long time to find a new bed to call your own, but when you do, you hope laying down will help you with the thoughts rattling around in your skull.

Hours later, you’re still drowning in thoughts.

I do know you. That's exactly why I won’t be on your side.

Your throat strickens. A million thoughts are bursting your brain at its very seams and spilling out from the cracks. Chatter is endless in the dormitory, but you loiter in uncanny silence.

You know that I can’t stay with you. Never again.

The extraordinary disdain so profound it had scared even you to hear it rolling off your tongue. Standing before you, ears flat and flickering tail tucked, an unending urge to control, Nam-gyu had been the very same man you’d deserted for all those years. But the core of you had been so blue it would frost to the very touch, sapphire walls of licking flame to keep anyone and anything out. Even as you found companionship in the presence of others, your mind called for him until you’d hushed it with an onslaught of terrible, terrible memories at his own hands.

But then you almost died, ripping the cord back on your third attempt at the spinner, watching it tumble fruitlessly as your heart thudded in your ears. Finally getting it, and still barely passing the finish line with your lives intact. It rocked you- changed you, but only in the ways you didn’t notice right away. Walking back into that dormitory, frightened as rabbits before great jaws of teeth, the first thing you fancied yourself to see was him.

You felt something real when you did- something forgotten and dusty creeping into the forefront of your mind.

And then he went and saved your life during Mingle.

Plucked you from the claws of death itself and dragged you into that washed out green-lit room, the colors hueing off your skin and glistening in his eyes when he grabbed your face to check on you. The distress of his expression, the red-hot regard for you to be in one piece, to be in his hold again after so long… It rewired something in your fuzzy brain. Clarity, or illusion, settled and fired echoing shots of previously snuffed out passion to life.

Reminded you why you fell in love with him, why you never wanted to be without him. More specifically, why being his girlfriend, his one and only, was so important.

You had known from the start that you were his. You knew it the first night he’d picked you up on his night off and drove you around the city, watching the lights sing in the hues of his eyes. You knew it when he crept into your apartment at a very whim after a long shift, particularly worn and falling into your bed with beautiful ease.

You knew it the first time he kissed you, eager and fervent. And you knew it the first time you felt him inside of you. Heavy, filling, the perfect piece to all that you needed.

At the end of the day, you knew it was always you and him- until that fact began to waver and fade, and you found that resolve cracking. Disappearing for weekends at a time, never returning a text or a call, until suddenly it was two in the morning and he was at your door, and you’d barely even get the chance to rub the sleep from your eyes before he was pushing you into the walls and stripping you down to your very bones. All teeth and grabbing hands and your voice chanting his name through the silence.

A flame roaring so deep and red hot it scorched at the touch.

It was such a small request, you felt- labels. Be mine, be mine, be mine so I may give myself entirely to you and trust the fall on the way down. You needed that reliability, you needed to know that he held you as you held him. And, lord, you had been so sure of yourself. Brought it up as you ran your fingers along his chest absently, exposed and naked and shimmering with the hazy afterglow of sex.

No had caught you off guard so severely you had to ask him to repeat himself. The second time you heard it, it hit you like a cold bucket of water splashing overhead. Drenched, chilly down to your very bones. Air ripped from your lungs, mouth dry when he proceeded to laugh at you.

“Be serious.” He’d chittered. “I’m too busy for all that.”

Voice wavering, tears already threatening to build in your eyes as you spoke, I am serious.

“Don’t be a bitch, okay?” Hands touching your naked sides, wrapping around you like slithering snakes threatening to drag your life from the confines of your skin. A touch that felt as slimy as his voice sounded. “We’re fine like this.”

“So what, you just want to fuck and call it a day, forever?”

Lips finding your neck.

“Come on. You know I like you.” Licks up your jugular, doesn't notice the way you aren’t shivering at the feeling, locked up.

“If you like me then be my boyfriend.” His ceiling was mundane, void of anything particularly eye-catching, but you couldn’t tear your gaze off.

“I’m busy.”

“…Not too busy for sex, though.”

He pulled back to look at you, this growing sneer on his lips. “What’s gotten into you, huh?”

“Come on, is it really so bad? Being my boyfriend?” You sweetened, tried to soften him. “I just wanna hear you say it, y’know?”

Nam-gyu had tensed at the word the first time, and he did just as well the second time around. Prickles at every word.

“We’re not fucking-” He gets up and you’re cold, and you’re heart broken and there’s rage simmering somewhere in your belly. “What we have is fine. Don’t complain about shit.”

“Seriously Nam-gyu? You show up and you fuck me and but that’s all you want out of life?” When he doesn’t answer, that simmering rage bubbles into more, swinging your legs from around his bed and bringing yourself to your unsteady feet. “Tch. Fine. Forget about it. ‘Too busy’. God’s sake- If you’re too fucking busy have you considered working a little less?”

Nam-gyu’s jaw tenses and he scoffs, climbs out of bed and passes you right by to throw himself limply onto the couch.

“Can you chill? How about you focus on you and I’ll focus on me, yeah?”

You took all of five minutes to throw your clothes on and find yourself running down the halls of his apartment. All you bore was your clothes, your phone, and your dignity. Rest be damned, scrambling to get to the privacy of your home with eyes so blurred with tears you almost didn’t make it.

Months and months to scrub him from your body, even longer for the weight of his presence to go unnoticed in your mind. Even longer to stop seeing him in your dreams, and feeling your heart flutter with every knock at the door.

You should hate him, still.

But oh god, you can’t.

And oh god, the way he looked at you in that room, all hands clutching and grabbing and touching you so gingerly you wonder if you’d died somehow, after all. In that moment you wondered how he could ever hurt you at all. Beautiful and warm.

Years to forget him.

Exactly 3 days for him to sink back in as if he’d never left.

Corners of your brain would always house him, the door was always propped open and all the windows unlocked. Nam-gyu would find himself right back where he had started within you, leaving dirty footprints through your hallways.

The differences in him were subtle creatures, if you’d blink you’d miss it at times, but he’s trying and that means he gives enough of a shit. He’s waiting for you to open your arms and welcome him back in so he could make a mess of you all over again- and though you may be a fool, you decide to throw the poor dog within him a particularly tasty bone.

You don’t sit next to him by any teams, but after grabbing your dinner from the guard you make a point to settle upon a set of steps within Nam-gyu’s general vicinity. It’s an invitation- one that reaches him in alluring calls the very moment he sees you lean back and catch his eyes. As always, he was eager to take that chance, hastily getting up from what little ‘friends’ he had and scurrying over to sit beside you.

At first you don’t offer any words. There’s a certain weight in the gapping pause, like he’s at the edge of his seat, leaning on every inhale and exhale of yours. Dark eyes and a pointed expression that can never quite seem to figure you out. He waits, and he waits for you to break the silence whilst spinning the rings on his fingers, his meal yet to be touched at his lap. Your tongue swipes out over your lips.

“Thank you.” Tentative, careful. But you break the stillness regardless like a stone through water.

“You already said that.”

“I know, but I need to say it again. You could have gotten yourself killed, you know.”

Poking through his rice with his chopsticks, all he offers is a dull shrug, like it doesn't matter. Your eyes narrow, and you mock him with a dramatic shrug of your own.

“That’s all? Really?” He won’t meet your face, chewing the edge of his lower lip. You scoff. “Does your life mean that little to you?”

“How can you ask that? It means a lot to me. I don’t wanna die.”

“You almost did.”

He finally finds your eyes, expression caught somewhere between the dance of upheaval and agitation. Perhaps he doesn’t even understand it himself- the way he’d thrown his life around so easily for you. You’re pushing him, so you reign back, let yourself soften just enough.

“You could have died, and you did it anyway?”

“Damn it,” He sets his food down and rubs his eyes, dragging at the skin. “Why’re you always asking so many questions?”

“Because you never tell me things on your own.” You pluck the fried egg from your box, chewing down the cold food. When you take a bite, Nam-gyu does too, whether he means to move in tandem with you intentionally or not.

“I tell you lots of things.”

“Sure, but nothing I ever really wanna know.”

“Alright.” He puts his food down again, swallows his mouthful of rice, restless. “Ask me shit, then.”

You know the smart thing would be to have a couple buffer questions, little things real easy for him to digest, but the words leave you before you get the chance to pull them back down to the pandora within your chest.

“Why did you turn me down?”

It should catch him off guard, but it doesn’t. His blinks down at you, jaw tensing, those eyes of his always so stormy and unsure. Once again, all he manages for you is a shrug. He’s hiding right before your very eyes, all hands reaching out whilst slapping yours away when you reach back. A scared, hurt, biting dog. The tendency to howl for your love was beastly and he never stopped bearing those teeth.

“Please,” A sweet touch to his arm, a downcast to your lovely eyes. “I have to know why you didn’t want me.”

“I did want you.” He says it so fast you have to take a second to process him. Your brows knit, the early stages of confusion and anger bubbling under your skin as you set your bento box down. Your temper was always the first to bloom.

“Clearly not, or you wouldn’t have let me leave.”

He swallows, tongue poking out to swipe over his lips. “I freaked out.”

“Really? Because I remember you just sitting there.”

“I know.” His fingers find his mouth, teeth catching on the hangnails he’d worked into the nail beds during bouts of anxiety. “I was freaking out. I didn’t want all that extra shit and then you left and I-...” He swallows again, mind searching for all the words. “I don’t know. I didn’t think you’d really go.”

You have to digest it all for another moment, a pregnant pause as you do. The look on his face that day, so mullish and nonchalant even though you knew with every fibre of his being that he was anything but never left you. Haunted you, drew you away from anyone that shared even an ounce of similarities. You saw his smirks, heard his laughter, saw the outlines of his posture in strangers and it always made you sick to your stomach.

There’s a thousand questions, now, but you hone in one in specific.

“Extra shit?”

“Extra shit. Like-... Girlfriend, boyfriend shit…”

“Nam-gyu, we did have girlfriend, boyfriend shit.”

“Yeah but then you wanted to go and make it some official thing. If we already had it, why bother? All labels do is cause problems. What we had… It was good. It was fine.”

Your skin is starting to heat up. There’s a fall to your tone when you slip your hand off his arm and murmur, “Fine, for you.”

His eyes follow your hand retracting as if you’d cut him, shoulders slumping. “...Why didn’t it work for you?”

“I really liked you. I needed all that extra ‘official’ shit, whether you think it’s stupid or not. It meant a lot to me. It meant that you were serious about me, that you wanted me more than the… Fun. we had.” The words leave you forlorn, alive but peaking at the brims with defeat. “I knew I was yours, but… I wanted-... Needed to know that you were mine, too.”

“I was yours!” Nam-gyu leans back hard, terse and pointed with this sullen desperation around him that cried hear me. “I was yours and I didn’t need some stupid name to prove it.”

It’s a tale as old as time, true as it can be when he’s bunching his sleeves up, gripping hard to the inner fabrics, growing frustrated and antsy under the glint of your spectacle. His skin twitches like it’s its own separate entity, like he has to squeeze and clutch and drag to get it to settle back over his muscles and nerves. You’re sure you’re under there right now, worming paths through his veins and into his brain like a sneaky little parasite he could never seem to shake.

All it takes is a gentle touch to his arm again. Reminds him that you’re right there, beside him.

And then he’s giving up. Losing his edge, losing his temper but crushing the rolling bites of anger into a simple longing itch of you. He’s trying to clamp his mouth shut but you’re dragging it all out of him anyways, cast by cast. It’s a gratifying satisfaction you never knew could scratch so good. You’d wanted it since the start- all these swirling emotions sputtering from his lips so you could lap up every sound.

Fingers fall from his tracksuit. You eye him, meet his dejection face to face.

“Why was being my boyfriend such a terrible thing to you?”

Nam-gyu’s expression falls miles below anything else you’ve seen thus far, somehow. Drawn and weathered, far away down into his lap and hiding himself within the darks of his eyes to escape your gaze.

“I didn’t want anything to change.” Strands of hair slip past his ear and hang around the frame of his face, further shielding him. “I didn’t think… I don’t know what I thought.”

“Didn’t think what?” It’s like pulling teeth, you find, extracting the bits of him he’d clocked years into burying. You coax him anyway, and he finds your light with compulsory desire.

“I thought I didn’t want it.”

“It, or me?”

“It. It really got under my skin. You, got under my skin.” When he looks at you, you can truly see the mask breaking away into shards. A person suit coming untwined as the real him bloomed. “Girlfriend had a lot of… weight to it. I didn’t want all of that, but you then left, and I don’t know.”

And thus, that nonchalant squarecrow he’d planted onto that couch all those years ago is gone in the blink of an eye. You remembered him ugly and defiant in the moment, but you had overlooked the smirk of anxiety. The way he watched every move you made, the way he rubbed red into the skin of his hands with his fingers itching to drive into something, anything to release the tension.

I thought I didn’t want it.

A weight settles in your chest as the being of him crawls further into your ribcage, carefully.

“...How do you feel, now?”

Eyes travel from where your touch meets his skin, up to your shoulders, and then to meet your line of sight. His lips twitch, parting, but he’s searching for the words. Searching for you, you realize, reaching and begging to be taken out from the cold.

“I thought you died earlier.” He blurts. It throws you off guard, but your perturbation is only as long as it takes for him to continue with the ghost of fright still saturating the memory. “After the six-legged race, I thought you died, and it felt like it was my fault.”

“Hold on, I chose to not join you.” Your brows knit, clutching the fabric of his tracksuit a little tighter. He just shakes his head.

“If you had died, I don’t know what I would have done. It was only for a few minutes, but fuck. I just kept thinking I shouldn’t have let you say no.”

A cross between amusement and empathy shapes your lips into an uptick, your palm dragging upwards to his bicep. “That’s the problem we keep having, Nam-gyu. When are you gonna’ realize you don’t ‘let me’ do anything?”

“Oh, I know it already. Trust me.” A sigh leaves him but it almost sounds like a scoff.

The recollection of your momentary loss eats at him. In all the years you’d been gone from his life, a ghost turned into forlorn fleeting blips of memories, you could still read him like your favorite book. Line for line, word for word. Every character and detail etched into your mind, a glorious museum packed to every corner with him, him, him.

There’s this part of you that’s coming to life again, rising from the ashes not so much like a roaring phoenix but this gentle stream of embers singing the tips of your soul. Like an old battery, a feeling that comes from deep, deep, within. The uncanny urge to sooth out all those tensions stoning over his muscles and push his hair from his face as he always does.

“I didn’t realize you had been that upset, earlier.”

Which is a lie. Truth be told, when you’d managed to find your feet back into that dormitory, the first thing you sought was him. And he was on you, quick, teary and red. In that moment, you could see the way he felt as though he could breathe again. You all the same- this all consuming relief washing over you like a wave from head to toe.

He was the first thing on your mind when you’d walked in, and he was the last thing on your mind when you fell asleep that night.

Nam-gyu’s breath stutters as he nods.

“I almost did.” You murmur, feeling the blitz of terror that’d driven into your heart during your round. “I kept fucking up the spinner, and my teammate lied about knowing how to play Ggongi. Because of us, we barely even made it with a second left. You wanna know something?” It takes a second for him to look you in the eyes, but he does, and you smile pathetically. “I remember thinking to myself, man, I should have gone with you. And then you went and saved my life earlier and I felt like such a…”

He blinks at you, and you can’t help but laugh.

“I felt like such a bitch.”

For a couple seconds, he doesn't react, but when he does, he leans back and clicks his tongue. His lips tuck upwards and he’s trying to not smile- your heart soars.

“You can say it this time,” You giggle, nudging him. “I won’t be mad.”

Another shake of his head, those black strands falling even further from his ear. “Yes you will.”

Tongue swiping out over your lips, you can feel the energy lifting back up, buzzing and trilling like a spring day melting away the laundering billows of snow. Something blooms there with beautiful petals under the sun.

“You haven't answered my question.” You chirp. He looks at you, and you’ve got him now, all his attention and all his warmth. Subconsciously, you lean towards him. And he does the same. “How do you feel now?”

There’s a heaviness that adopts the space between your bodies. Heartbeats and staggered breaths moving in tandem, a rhythm you knew all too well. All the time apart, bitter and spiteful and angry, just to realize that he’d never truly left the closets of your soul. You knew him like your own self, knew all his fine tunings and the jagged edges of his resentful anxieties.

Nam-gyu takes in the very essence of you with those all seeing eyes of his.

“I never stopped thinking about you.”

The world stops turning all at once when he speaks.

Oh god, how your heart bursts into flames, unaware of how badly you’d been wanting this. Like getting a taste of the finest wine, or a forbidden fruit, so sweet and perfect and dripping down your chin. A confession spills from you in the stream. Years of snuffing out that licking flame just for it to combust into a raging wildfire at his whim.

You can’t stop yourself.

“I haven't, either.”

A version of you from three years ago howls out in retribution.

But then it’s hushed with the doe of his expression, leaning in like every word out of your mouth is gospel. His own personal bible, his own personal heaven. When you tell him, his breath leaves him in a broad rush of air.

A voice echoes over the speakers, chopping chunks out of the palpable tension growing. Lights out in five minutes.

For a long moment, you both just watch each other. The raw brunt of emotions is palpable, thick over your mind and body like a sheet of yearning tension.

But Nam-gyu speaks first after he glances towards where your bed had been, gone as the number of players dwindled and the beds were rearranged to compensate. “Where are you sleeping tonight?”

“I found a different bed.” You don’t tell him that you purposely chose an empty bed closer to his, but when you point to it, you can see the pleased expression drawn out from the disappointment.

“If you get nervous, come to mine.” He says suddenly, and you blink at him.

“Nervous?”

“Just saying.” Fingers catching his sleeves, bunching the fabric up. “You can if you want.”

‘If you want’. He’s learning after all.

“I’ll keep that in mind. I’m gonna get to bed, okay? I’ll come talk to you in the morning.”

You say it so softly, like it could wound him. Perhaps it does regardless, however, because the look he gives you in return is especially pained. Hates that your getting up, hates that there’s going to be meters and meters of metal frame work and sleeping bodies filling the spaces that lead to you. He almost grabs you, fingers popping out from under his sleeves, but he reels himself back in and instead leans back against the wall of the step and watches you.

Leaning down, you kiss his cheek, and you pretend you don’t notice the way his breath lodges into his throat when you do.

It’s quiet that night. This weight has settled over like a blanket of smog threatening to snuff you out everytime your breath leaves your lungs. There’s this irritation stuck within you- a certain twist and churn within your guts that makes you shift positions ceaselessly. The present arguing with the past, years of growth and the endless tumble back down to where you’d begun. The mindless, dangerous joy of landing flat on your back under him all over again.

Laying on your side doesn’t work, your brain far too busy behind your eyes. You give laying on your back one more shot, eyes staring up at the bottom of the bunk above you, but it doesn’t help. Nam-gyu still floods your mind no matter what you do.

Fuck, you still see him. Those beautiful angles and the slopes of his cheekbones, the feeling of dragging your hands down his shoulders to his chest and marking every last inch.

He’s saying your name within the confines of your skull, the sound echoing through your dome.

You’re hearing him now, too? Great. As if it wasn't bad enough before. He’s taking over your mind, your body, and now you’re having to audibly hear him like a teasing ghost paying you visits of desire. You’re the same person you were three years ago, for god’s sake. After all you’d done to move on he’s still there under your skin, working his way through the ridges and bumps of your brain.

“Hey, are you even awake right now?”

Wait- that’s not in your head.

You launch up with a gasp sputtering in your throat, eaten by the sudden lurching fear of a dark figure leaning over your bed. The knee jerk reaction to scream fails you, as does your strength when the figure leans in close and you try to shove them away hopelessly.

“Stop, stop! I’m not gonna’ do anything.”

Oh, it is Nam-gyu. He’s just decided to come and sneak up beside your bed like a creep in the darkness and properly scare the living daylights out of you. The sudden plummet of your nerves makes you wheeze out a sigh of relief and you toss yourself flat onto your mattress. Your hands cover your face, dragging the skin down in irritation.

“I thought I was going to die.” You hissed.

“Come on. Seriously?” He sat at the edge of your bed, and you’re so fucking relieved it’s not some random player coming to sweeten the pot, that you let him without a word.

“I didn’t realize it was you.”

“Who else would it be? Thanos?”

“Yes, actually.” You smirk at him through your fingers. “That’d really bust your balls, wouldn’t it?”

“Don’t say that shit.” He grunts, huffing. “You being serious?”

He looks pathetic, even despite the way his brows collect in annoyance. You used to find that cute about him- all angry and ruffled on the outside but always this anxious, soft little thing on the inside. So pent up with nowhere to go, clinging to the few things that he gives a shit about but no means to show it.

You still do find it cute. At least a little bit, anyways. You must because you find your lips tugging upwards before you can stop them.

“No, obviously. Your friend is fucking weird.” Saying it like he isn’t weird, too, is a funny thing. But his weird is different in your eyes- better.

You start to wonder if maybe things were changing, again. Reverting and revisiting a side of yourself he’d forced you to abandon.

You also start to wonder if that's a good thing. It’s hard to tell with Nam-gyu. He has a way of making the things so terrible for you feel so, so good.

He’s just sitting there in silence, thinking harder than you’ve ever seen him think. The tenacity of him is something new- which is crazy, because you truly had thought you’d seen all the in’s and the out’s of him.

“Can’t sleep?” Your voice drags him out of his trance.

The floor lights illuminate a glow in his eyes when he turns to look at you again, those dark hues far away. When he doesn’t answer, and you fully take in the somberness of him, you have this urge from deep within your soul. An insatiable itch that you’d refused to admit to yourself you’d been longing for the last three years. You swallow hard, your mouth opens and closes, struggling to get the words out.

“...Do you want to lay with me?”

It’s like inviting the vampire into your home knowingly.

Nam-gyu doesn’t linger for even a second. Maybe he’s afraid you’ll change your mind if he doesn’t jump on the chance, or perhaps he’d been desperate to be at your side since you’d left him that day. You weren’t sure- not really, but he was throwing himself at your side in the blink of an eye.

Even worse, his arms are already snaking around your body, finding you against himself in the darkness. Entitled to your body, and taking your air with him. A part of you has this immediate suspension- or more like, an experienced worry that those long fingers of his are going to try and explore down your body until they find something all too warm and familiar, but just like the look on his face moments ago, somethings different about him. Something longing, feeling.

He drags your back against his chest and he cages you in his grasp and he buries his face into your hair, breathes you in so deeply you’d think he’s getting high off your scent. Squeezing you so tight like he can’t believe he’s really got you. He even brings the blanket over you and pats it over your shoulders before he nestles in against your body.

“Nam-gyu,” You whisper, and he hums in response. “What are you doing?”

As if you aren’t actively letting him, as if you aren’t feeling all your tensions melt away in his hold. A puzzle piece settled back into its place after so long it ached.

His response is quiet, broken up. Words you never thought you’d ever hear leave his lips.

“I missed you.”

Between his confession and his breath on your neck, you shiver. A full body wrack that makes you crack your eyes open in the darkness.

“Yeah?” Your voice is equally as wavering.

He just nods and clutches you tighter. He’s never been this sweet with you- not even when things were good. And then he goes and surprises you again for the second, or third, time since he’s slinked into your bed.

“When we leave here, give me another chance.”

The fence you’ve stuck atop of is mighty tall with a great leap on either side. One side him and all his backage, the other, lonely peace. To go through all that bullshit again might actually kill you. And fuck, you’ve done it, you’re out. You’re on the other side and untethered to him after so long, but he’s so warm next to you, and he’s saying the things you used to imagine in your weakest hours…

“You’re serious about this?” You ask, barely above a whisper.

He can’t say it, but he can nod against the cradle of your neck.

“...And you’ll be my boyfriend?” You’re chewing the inside of your cheek, putting heavy emphasis on the label, making sure it rings true through that thick skull of his.

Another nod. Your breath stutters in your fluttering chest. It’s slow, hesitating, but it’s there and you’re rolling over to face him through the dim lights. In this light, you can see certain parts of him that you’d seldom ever been able to touch. This softness, endearment that you caught fleeting glimpses of in his afterglows. Vulnerable.

Your fingers find the sides of his face and he reacts like they’ve got their own gravitational pull, putty in your hold. Your touch is like warmth in the cold, like shelter within the storm. Life over all else.

“So say it, then. Tell me you’re mine.”

He presses his lips into a tight line. “You already know I am.”

“Say it.” Dragging your thumb over his lower lip. “Say it so I can kiss you.”

You can see, you can feel the way light soars into those dark, dark eyes. His lips part.

“I’m yours.”

Nam-gyu’s lips against yours, fingertips ghosting the mound of your cheekbone.

It’s like coming home again.

Sweet and gentle and nothing like you’d ever had the fortune of sharing with him. Kisses with him were always so urgent and demanding, but this was void of anything other than the yearn of finding yourself again. It’s the most intimate moment you’ve ever had with him, you think, in the middle of a packed room inches from death.

So intimate, that when he pulls away to gauge you, you drag him down by his collar for another.

The flat of his palm cups the side of your face, and you hold the fabric of his suit to keep him right there. Deeper, this time.

Too long for him was a beast of its own entirely, one that grew claws in your nail beds as you buried your hands in his thick black hair and let yourself melt into pools of honey around him. He’s equally so fervent, passion radiating off him like an aura, all hands and twisting arms and his body covering your own. Your back is flat to the bed and he’s overtop of you, so familiar but so different from before. Real and raw. He’s gripping a fist into the pillow beside your head, the blanket shifting off the bunk entirely and pooling onto the floor, forgotten.

You pant when he breaks away, his hair tickling your face. He kissed your cheek, your jaw, and you’re excited to find his lips at your neck but instead he just kisses your jugular and buries his face within your collarbone.

You wait for him to try to take it further. To claim the prize he’d really been working for- that sickly-sweet nectar between your legs that always seemed far too eager to drag him in. But he doesn't, and he’s quiet, and he’s breathing in your scent.

And you haven't felt better in years. Clicked into place, even with the plane.

“Okay.” You pant., find his shoulders and trace lines down his back, marveling in his twitching muscles under your ghost light touches.

“Okay?” His breath is hot against your skin.

You pull him from the crook of your neck and pet down his face. He kisses your hand and you can’t stop this foolish grin from spreading over your face. A single nod.

“Okay. I’ll stay with you.”

He stops breathing.

“For the game… Or, afterwards…?”

“For the game and afterwards. If we make it out.”

All of his weight settles at once, as though you’d pulled the pounds lodged onto his shoulders off entirely.

“We will make it out.” His brows twitch together, caught between the cocktail of relief and trepidation, realizing that he could lose you all over again. He props himself up over you before he leans back on his knees, your waist trapped underneath his weight.

You prop yourself up on your elbows. “You don’t know that.”

The moment you start to get up, he feels the need to flatten you back out under him with those hands of his. And you’re just as happy to do so- watching him towering over you before he lays at your side and wrenches you against his curling form. He kisses the back of your neck, chaste and soft until your skin flutters under each one.

“Whatever happens,” You murmur, running your fingers over his knuckles. “I’ll stay with you.”

“We’ll make it out. I’ll make sure of it.” One more kiss to the back of your neck before he nuzzles you into him.

It feels right. It feels like being rewarded, like getting the thing you wanted most in life. You bring his hand up to your lips just so you can dot kisses another his wrist.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

#imagine #fanfic #namgyu x reader #nam-gyu x reader #nam gyu x reader #squid game #hurt/comfort #angst #drabble #fluff #angst with a happy ending

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bucketbueckers · 4 months ago

Text

I'D RATHER PRETEND

extra 3: life “over and over the only truth, everything comes back to you”

tags: @angryflowerwitch @avvwritesstufff @melpthatsme @rebecca-woso @bueckersg1rl @l0verl4ne @clouded-whispers @dolliest-thena @katemartinlvr @numberonepartyanth3m @glamourdaya @pbbucks @unadulteratedcyclepaper @paiges-1vur @thelightknight21 @ellehoops

wc: 9.0k

notes: finally getting through the last of the irp extra requests 😮‍💨 yes i didn't make a new banner and no i didn't want to. this is def the last extra chap i'll do (this is the end for real...that's crazy) bc after a while i feel like im beating a dead horse. tess kennedy you will always be famous. thank you all for loving irp, i loved writing it but she must go on her own way now 😓 poorly proofread but as always lmk what you guys think 🫶

i. why does ‘TessKennedysControversiallyYoungGirlfriend’ want you to step on her and how do i tell her to get a job

APRIL 2025, POST NCAA CHAMPIONSHIP

If you were to ask Tess, she would probably say, no, I’m not a jealous person. In a materialistic sense, she doesn’t make a habit of looking at what other people have and deciding that her life has any less value because of what she may lack. She’s a wholehearted believer that she could get anything that she wants (barring that slight crash out from a year and a half ago when she thought she couldn’t have Paige…but that’s neither here nor there) and if she couldn’t immediately get it, then she knows she could work for it. Those are the two fundamental truths of her life.

However, in the sense of her and Paige, Tess still doesn’t think she’s jealous. They’ve been together long enough that Tess is comfortably secure in their relationship. She has no reason to not trust Paige, Paige has no reason to not trust her, they’re happy and committed to each other and all is well.

But the lack of jealousy doesn’t mean a lack of possessiveness. Maybe possessiveness isn’t even the right word. Tess doesn’t necessarily think that Paige belongs to her and feeling owned honestly gives her the ick, so she’s fortunate that Paige doesn’t really think that way, either. There’s a simple understanding that they’re girlfriends – that means something, and if Tess had to admit anything, it’s that she enjoys Paige’s undivided attention a lot more than she lets herself realize or more than she will ever tell Paige (although there’s a small part of her that’s sure Paige has her suspicions).

Which brings them to where they are now.

The bathroom door in their hotel room is cracked open, the sound of water hitting tile echoing as Paige showers before their date. Following UConn’s championship win, Tess and Paige were treating themselves to a vacation before the draft rolled around. They knew they would immediately be in training camps and moving across the country, so they just wanted to enjoy this last bit of uninterrupted time together before shit truly hit the fan and the only way they’d get to see each other is during games. That was honestly a hard pill to swallow – being apart for so long, but they had a long, thoughtful discussion about it, promising to communicate and be present and all of that other sentimental shit.

Tess frowns down at her phone, her eyes all but burning a hole through the device as she reads Maddy Siegrist’s comment on Paige’s latest Instagram dump. Honestly, it’s not even that bad, but what is Tess if not a crash out? It was simple, reading dallas is about to get a whole lot hotter. First of all, ew? Second of all, Tess feels like that should be illegal. It feels like draft tampering. She can’t argue why but it just does. And third of all, has she said ew yet? She knows it’s probably teammate banter, but if she said that to Raven, then Raven would probably kill her before she got the chance to kill herself.

“Paige!” she calls, sliding off the bed and into a pair of slippers to pad into the bathroom.

“Yeah?” Paige says, opening the textured glass door to poke her head out.

Tess keeps her gaze respectful, not allowing her eyes to trace the water droplets as they trail down Paige’s cheek and jaw, dropping onto her chest. She flips her phone around, showing the comment section to Paige. “Tell your thirsty ass teammate to stop trying to homewreck.”

“My who?” Paige echos, biting her lip to stop her laughter as her eyes scan the comment.

“Your thirsty ass teammate.”

The look Paige gives her is nothing short of wicked. “One, she’s not my teammate.”

“Not yet,” Tess huffs.

Paige rolls her eyes. “Two, she’s engaged.”

“You do understand that you knowing that is like, worse, right?”

“Three,” Paige emphasizes. “Look who just followed you.” Tess resists an eye roll as she navigates to her notifications, her eyes catching on the one reading cameronbrink22 has followed you! When Tess glances back up, Paige looks smug, raising a brow. “You got a thing for blondes or sum?”

“You are so annoying,” Tess admonishes.

“Tell your thirsty ass teammate to stop trying to homewreck.”

“Not teammates!”

“Yeah, just like you’re not jealous,” Paige retorts.

Tess gives up on restraining herself and rolls her eyes fully. “I am not jealous.”

Paige grins insufferably. “Whatever you say, ma. You gettin’ in?” she asks, referring to the shower. “Save water?”

Tess huffs again, already reaching for the hem of her shirt. “Don’t say it like that,” she states, but she can’t help the way she preens when she feels Paige’s gaze fixed on her.

“I didn’t say nothin’ any type of way,” Paige says. “Just tryna be environmentally conscious and all that, let my jealous girlfriend know I ain’t showerin’ with nobody else.”

Tess turns, narrowing her eyes at Paige. “I’m gonna put my shirt back on,” she threatens.

Paige’s bottom lip juts out in a dramatic pout. “Noooo,” she whines. “Please don’t.” She reaches for Tess’s wrist, water droplets splashing against the bathroom tile and Tess lets herself be dragged in. “C’mon. Let’s talk. I know I’m being annoying but you’re being kinda passive aggressive so now I know you’re not just fucking around.”

Tess sighs as Paige shuts the sliding glass door behind them. Paige guides her under the shower stream, her hands rubbing her shoulders as the warm water envelops them. “I’m sorry. You’re right,” she concedes, drawing a hum from her girlfriend as she reaches for the loofah and the bodywash, beginning to work on scrubbing her back. “I’m not like, actually jealous, you know? I’m secure in our relationship and we both know neither of us are going anywhere. So I don’t feel threatened, but it’s just – she, and the rest of your teammates – are gonna get to see you on a constant basis for four years and I – I don’t know. You’re not even gone yet but I miss you already. I know it won’t be that different from college and we’ve made our peace with that, but I guess some part of me had hoped otherwise for so long and the realization that we’re actually going to play away from each other professionally is sinking in. It’s stupid –”

“Not stupid,” Paige interrupts, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to the back of her neck. She places the loofah on the rack in the shower and wraps her arms around Tess’s waist, pressing their bodies together. It’s the casual intimacy like this that Tess will probably miss the most now that she’s had a taste of it. There’s no expectations right now, just her and Paige, and she sinks back into her hold gratefully. “It’s a big change for us, right? Even if we’re used to it, or whatever, it’s different ‘cause we’re like…locked in, you know? We’re not just girlfriends.” Paige huffs. “I’on even know if that makes sense.”

Tess shakes her head, her hands coming down to rest over Paige’s. “No, I know what you mean,” she agrees.

Paige squeezes her gently. “Point is, s’okay to be a little upset about it. Just don’t be scared of it. It’s not easy to…I’on know, think about right now, but once you’re actually livin’ it up in LA, playin’ with KP and Rickea and Cam, it’s not gonna feel as bad. This is your dream, baby,” Paige reminds her, kissing her cheek as she rocks them side to side. Tess can feel the smile Paige presses against her skin, one of her own growing despite herself. “Whether I’m right next to you, at UConn, or in Dallas, I’m blessed to even be part of your life. We’ll make it work. We always do.”

It’s then that Tess twists around in her arms, resting her hands upon Paige’s shoulders. Her thumb absentmindedly brushes across the slope of her collarbone but neither of them fully register it. “Are you…?”

“Upset?” Paige finishes. “Scared?” Tess nods, not trusting herself to speak. Paige’s expression melts into one of soft understanding. “‘Course I am,” she murmurs. The tension in Tess’s shoulder washes away under the shower stream, but she finds herself feeling guilty. Paige was also struggling with this change, and here she is comforting Tess about it. Paige seems to recognize the look on her face because she shakes her head. “I wish we could be closer, too. Like, if everything lined up perfectly and somehow we went to the same team. The league wouldn’t know what to do with us.” That makes Tess laugh, which makes Paige’s face brighten. “I just…gotta remind myself that it’s just different, not impossible. I promised you don’t gotta be scared with me. I meant that. And I know I don’t gotta be scared with you, either. So…it might be a little hard for a while, but we’ll settle in and we’ll be okay. It’s new and different but it’s exciting, right? Us, getting drafted? Me kicking your ass in the championship?”

“Okay, you ruined the mood,” Tess complains, extracting herself from Paige’s grip as the blonde laughs smugly. Despite her words, her tone lacks any real heat and she fights to keep the smile off of her lips.

“Hey,” Paige calls out to her, passing her the bottle of her shampoo. “Good?” The check-in is a gentle reminder that regardless of their conversation being softened by humor, Paige is still looking out for her, for her feelings.

Tess nods, wrapping Paige in a gentle hug as the blonde presses a kiss to her temple. “Good,” she confirms. “Thank you. For…” Her words falter, not because she doesn’t know what she’s thanking Paige for, but because she knows that there’s so many things that she could be thanking her for.

Paige understands her all the same – she always has, which is just another thing on the long list of things that Tess finds herself thankful for. She smiles softly, her hand squeezing Tess’s hip. “I got you,” she promises, and Tess knows that’s the one thing she’ll always be certain of.

This brief period of peace doesn’t last for too long. They finish out the rest of their day, lounging around and enjoying their postseason vacation. They post a few TikToks together (which consist mostly of Paige roping her into thirst traps and funny couple’s challenges), DoorDash an unhealthy amount of snacks, and binge-watch movies until midnight when Tess falls asleep in the middle of a trashy rom-com.

Tess is in the middle of a strange dream – one wherein she and Paige are, for whatever reason, football players (although she supposes the recent football fixation is because Paige forced her to watch the Superbowl with her this year), when she’s gently shaken away. The voice in her ear is a soft murmur, pulling her out of sleep. The exhaustion makes her eyelids heavy but when they open fully, she sets her gaze on Paige. “You better have a good reason for waking me up this early,” Tess grumbles, pressing her face further into the space where Paige’s neck meets her shoulder, and she feels Paige’s body shake as she laughs.

“It’s 10am,” Paige says. “And I was bored. Tried waiting for you but you just kept on snoozing.”

“Paige Bueckers complaining about someone sleeping in,” Tess teases, mock-amazement filling her tone. “Someone pinch me.” Paige does, which makes Tess yelp and grab her hip. “Jackass,” she says. “Maddy Siegrist can have you. I don’t even care anymore.”

Paige’s eyes light up in remembrance. “A’ight, so I woke you up for a reason, actually,” she starts. Tess groans, but Paige’s hand traces the dimples on her back and that makes her forget all about her indignance. “So I was scrolling through TikTok. You remember that one we posted yesterday, the boogie on down trend?” Tess hums tiredly, the drag of Paige’s fingers lulling her back to sleep. “Never in a million years will you guess who commented on it.”

“Was it Sab?” Tess asks hopefully.

Paige huffs. “Worse.” Paige angles her phone to show her and at first, Tess is thankful that she had the foresight to at least turn her brightness down. “Why does ‘TessKennedysControversiallyYoungGirlfriend’ want you to step on her and how do I tell her to get a job?”

“Who?” Tess blinks once, lifting her head to look at Paige’s phone. True to her word, there was such a commenter, but what truly makes Tess giggle is the comment reading, ‘i want tess kennedy to step on me if only so she can scrape me off of her sneaker like day old gum.’ “Holy shit. That’s actually the craziest thing I’ve ever read.”

“That’s what I’m sayin’!” Paige cries. “We need to do something about this.”

Tess snorts. “Yeah, okay, let me just message my controversially young girlfriend and tell her my actual girlfriend is crashing out so she needs to stop commenting weird shit on our TikToks.”

“You laugh now but I’m serious,” Paige says, her tone leaving no room for argument. The pleading expression on her face tells Tess all she needs to know. She sighs again as Paige continues. “We need to post another TikTok.”

Tess gazes at her, amused. “Do you really think that will solve anything?”

“Prolly not,” Paige concedes. “But it’ll make me feel better. You don’t want me sad, do you?”

Tess narrows her eyes. “You are such a pain in my ass.”

“That’s not a no!”

Paige was correct. It was not a no. It became an okay, fine after Paige DoorDashed her a coffee and a bacon, egg, and cheese for breakfast, and once she was finally awake and coherent, she let Paige guide her to her heart’s content. Tess was actually pretty familiar with whatever trend Paige was trying to get them to do, but she kept that to herself because Paige had seemed so proud of herself and Tess wasn’t trying to take that away from her. It was simple – Tess was going to apply a thick layer of her lipstick – her go-to shade when she’s not settling for her usual gloss – and she would kiss lipstick stains onto Paige’s face. The actual video would start with Tess swiping the lipstick onto her lips and “accidentally” smudging it, then Paige would reach out to try and clean it, only for the camera to pan over to her face, revealing all of the kiss marks.

If Tess was being completely honest, she wasn’t sure how this was going to deter anyone. She’s sure it’s more fanservice at this point than anything else, or maybe Paige just wanted an excuse to post something like that. Regardless, Tess knew her intentions weren’t as pure as they seemed, but truth be told, she didn’t really care.

“Are you ready?” Tess asks, endlessly amused as she watches Paige inspect her face in the mirror, a ridiculously proud expression on her face.

Paige hums. “Nah. You missed a spot,” she says innocently, motioning to her lips. Tess rolls her eyes, but she obliges, kissing Paige soundly and leaving a red smudge across her lips. Paige examines herself once more, tilting her head back and forth each way like she’s actually going to find an inch of skin that Tess hasn’t stained, but she eventually settles down. “Perfect. Now we can start.”

Tess chuckles and locks in. The TikTok counts down from three before Daniel Caesar and Kali Uchis’s Get You starts playing. Tess swipes the applicator across her lips – her hand falters, dragging the lipstick off course. Paige reaches in, her thumb finding her chin and wiping the lipstick away as Tess pans her phone over to Paige, showcasing her covered in lipstick stains and the sickeningly in love expression on her face. Despite herself, Tess can’t help but be a little shocked – from the slight blush on Paige’s cheeks, the dopey grin, and sheer amount of affection that is reflected in her eyes, and she finds herself melting, too. She knows that Paige loves her – she says as much everyday, shows her how much everyday, but seeing how much when Paige isn’t doing or saying anything is a good kind of different.

Tess stops the recording, watching it back with Paige once. They’d gotten it perfect on the first try and after a lot of deliberation, Tess captions the video with the lipstick stain emoji and posts it. Paige looks unbelievably smug as they watch the comments roll in, a large majority reading, “just fell to my knees in a Walmart parking lot” (whatever that means).

“You done being jealous of fangirls online?” Tess asks teasingly, to which Paige kisses her teeth and shoves her shoulder lightly. Tess hardly moves and all it does is make her more amused.

“Wasn’t jealous,” Paige states. “Just wanted you to do that trend with me and make it very clear that you’re off the market and you’re not stepping on anyone. Let alone your apparent ‘controversially young girlfriend.’”

“Don’t worry,” Tess croons, squeezing Paige’s hand. “You can be my controversially clingy girlfriend. Or my controversially annoying girlfriend. Or–”

“Chill!”

ii. how many golden state valkyries does it take to screw in a lightbulb (spoiler: a lot)

LATE APRIL 2029

When Azzi suggested a team bonding activity to welcome in the Valkyries’ newest free agency pick-ups and their single draft selection, Tess had a couple of ideas. Maybe they’d all gather in the gym for some friendly scrimmage. Maybe they’d gather at someone’s house to have dinner and play party games like they weren’t pushing thirty. Or maybe they’d even go out on some fancy teammate preseason vacation – in her fourth year with the Sparks, Tess and her teammates went to Greece. But this? Tess didn’t even consider it.

“An escape room?” she repeats.

“Hear me out!” Azzi exclaims, water bottle in hand. The Valkyries had just wrapped up their first training camp practice of the season and even though it was grueling, Tess couldn’t deny that she was incredibly excited to play basketball with this roster – Azzi had developed into a monster in her last year at UConn and her time with the Valkyries had only strengthened that. Tess herself had improved her game tremendously and she knew that between her, Azzi, and Paige, the Valkyries would be a force to be reckoned with. Logistics and basketball aside, Tess was over the moon to be able to play with Paige – her wife, which Tess still isn’t used to thinking about. Life in the Bay was amazing so far. “So, an escape room teaches you how to work together, right?”

“Sure,” Kiki agrees, stretching her legs out. A few more of their teammates hum, their gaze set on the shooting guard.

“But most importantly, working together in high pressure situations,” she states. “Like, have you ever been in an escape room with your friends and you’ve got less than five minutes on the clock and you’re not close to finishing and everyone is screaming and yelling?”

“I’ve never done an escape room at all,” Tess admits, and Azzi’s eyes nearly bug out of her head.

“What?” she cries in disbelief. “You’re twenty-seven and you’ve never done an escape room?”

Paige nudges Azzi, a mischievous smirk playing on her lips as she wraps her towel around her neck. “Not too much on her now,” her wife says. “She ain’t even have an Xbox until I first made her play Fortnite with me.”

That draws more disbelieving gasps from their teammates and Tess throws her hands in the air, exasperated. “This isn’t about me! Azzi, please tell us more about your wonderful idea. Or literally anything else so Paige stops talking.”

“You married her,” Ayoka reminds her.

Tess shrugs. “I didn’t have enough community service hours at South Carolina,” she says. “Cathy said I couldn’t get picked up out of free agency unless I gave back to the world. Hence me marrying Paige so she learns to behave.”

Paige rubs her temples, opening her mouth like she wants to argue, but Azzi groans. “Guys! My turn to talk.” Everyone goes quiet, sheepish looks on their faces. “Thank you. So, I think we should do an escape room. Teamwork in high pressure situations, learning how to work together even when you’re pissed, ‘cause let’s face it, we know Paige is gonna pass to Tess religiously–”

“I’m a 64% three point shooter,” Tess interrupts. “There are worse things that could happen.”

“–and because I think it would be fun,” she finishes. Azzi scans the team with hopeful, doe eyes, and Tess knows in her heart of hearts that it’s not possible to say no to Azzi Fudd. “All in favor?” Simultaneously, every hand in the huddle raises and Azzi grins proudly. “Perfect. We’ll go on Saturday.”

The rest of the week passes in a blur of practice, shopping for more home decor, and even more practice. Finally, Saturday rolls around and Tess and Paige load up in Paige’s Jeep to head out to the escape room facility. They’d paid a little (okay, a lot) extra to rent out the entire place, knowing that if the media knew where they were, they wouldn’t be granted a second of peace. Paige offered to drive a few of their teammates, although Ayoka and Kiki adamantly refused, claiming that Tess and Paige were in a perpetual honeymoon phase and they couldn’t sit in the back and watch them make heart eyes at each other.

Contrary to popular belief, Tess and Paige could keep it together, but whatever. Riding alone just meant they could sing along to the High School Musical soundtrack in peace without being mocked.

They arrive at the escape room facility and only have to wait around five minutes for everyone else to show up. Azzi leads the Valkyries into the building, signing them in and delegating teams. They’d decided to separate into two groups of six with Tess, Paige, Azzi, Ayoka, Kiki, and Kate in the first group and the rest of their bench in the second group. Tess is quiet, taking her new team in, and a slow smile grows on her lips before she can truly process it. Paige has her arm wrapped around her waist, almost absentminded in the touch – Paige always has to have a hand on her one way or the other; over the years, it just became something that Tess doesn’t think twice about – as she bickers with Azzi over something stupid like “This escape room is ‘get away from your kidnapper’ themed? Az, we have got to get those Ellen Mover books away from you!” to which Azzi responds with, “First of all, it’s Colleen Hoover. Second of all, I don’t read her books – you were the one who dared me to read one and it made me throw up. And third of all, she’s literally in jail. There are no more Colleen Hoover books.”

Moving her attention away from her wife and her best friend’s latest debate (there was just something in Paige’s genetic code that made her want to test everyone’s last nerve), Tess glances at Kate, who’s grinning excitedly at Ayoka and Temi as she shows them photos of her dog. Kiki and Janiah are in the middle of a long-winded argument about a USC/UCLA match-up from last month where, according to Janiah, “The refs were blind as fuck, Kiki!” and, according to Kiki, “Invest in some LASIK for you and your bum ass Bruins so y’all can see what winners look like.” That makes Janiah gasp in indignation, but both she and Kiki dissolve into cackling laughter that draws the attention of Madison, Kayla, Celeste, and Dorka. The six of them lapse into an entirely new argument about which of their colleges were better.

Tess tunes them out, her smile turning fond as her heart constricts with happiness. She’s pretty sure that the second group – Temi, Janiah, Madison, Kayla, Celeste, and Dorka – is going to be just as much chaos as the first group, but she gets the impression that they’re going to make it out in time.

Finally, the escape room operators return to let everyone know that the rooms are ready. Without further argument, the Valkyries separate, although Janiah glances back to taunt, “See y’all after we win!”

Tess and Paige share a glance. Then they look at Azzi, then Ayoka and Kiki, and then Kate, and they don’t need to say anything else to know they’re going to make Janiah and her team eat shit.

The six of them are led into a dim room, locking hands to make sure none of them trip or stumble, although someone — Paige — seems to bump into the wall as evidenced by a high-pitched “Ow!” that causes Tess to snicker. The operator sits them down and adjusts the bindings on their wrists and ankles. They’re loose enough that they could easily slip out of them, but where’s the fun in that? The door closes without another word and the Valkyries sit in silence until the overhead speaker crackles to life.

The operator’s voice is affected by a voice modulator, sounding distorted and mischievous as they explain the set up. You’ve been kidnapped! Luckily for you, your assailant is away for an hour to collect supplies. You and your party must work to escape before he returns. Pretty standard stuff. Per the operator’s instruction, one person’s bindings weren’t fully locked, so it’s their responsibility to figure out who it was, and then they must locate the master key that’s hanging on the wall by the door.

“Okay,” Azzi says calmly. “Who’s not locked up?”

Tess stretches out her wrists and her ankles to no avail. “Not me,” she states, followed by agreements from Paige, Kiki, and Ayoka. Tess hears the click of someone’s bindings before their victorious cheer.

“Don’t worry, guys,” Kate says proudly. “I got this.”

“Our hero,” Kiki mutters dryly as Kate begins feeling around the room in search of the key.

Tess eyes the clock in the corner of the room. 59 minutes left. “No rush, Money,” she says nonchalantly. “There’s not a kidnapper on his way back or anything.”

“Paige, get your wife,” Kate gripes.

“I said no rush!”

“Feels like you’re rushing me,” she says, her tone clearly teasing, and Tess grins despite herself. Kate makes another noise in celebration once she’s finally found the key. “Okay, I’m gonna unlock Azzi first, give her the key, then I’m gonna try to find our next clue.” After Azzi is free, she makes her way around the room to unlock everyone else as Kate begins her search.

Soon, they’re all free, and Kate has narrowed down their next step. To open up their next clue box, they have to replace the flickering lightbulb in the room. Removing the old bulb requires them to solve a puzzle, so Kate directs their group to split. Kate, Azzi, and Paige work on solving the puzzle to unscrew the lightbulb while Ayoka, Kiki, and Tess work on solving the puzzle to get the new bulb.

Evidently, this task is incredibly difficult. Paige curses under her breath as she reads the instructions again, adjusting the number sequence and pulling. The lock doesn’t budge. Meanwhile, the clue to unlock Tess’s puzzle is written entirely in a cryptogram – albeit, a really simple one, but the six of them are operating on one shared brain cell (which Azzi probably has) – and Ayoka and Kiki can’t seem to figure it out.

It’s then that the operator phones back in to offer some advice. “How many Golden State Valkyries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” the operator asks, their voice deep and teasing, and all it does is cause the room to let out simultaneous groans. “Time’s ticking, Valkyries. Perhaps you should consider how…connected, these clues are.” The room goes silent again and instantly, Tess knows what to do. Cryptogram in hand, she spins around and meets Paige, who is on the same wavelength. They pore over both of their clues until Tess keys in on the strange spacing between the letters of Paige’s clue and the symbols on her cryptogram. Placing the papers over each other, Tess and Paige cheer when the cryptogram symbols line up with several letters. It gives them enough to work with and Tess inputs the answer. To everyone’s relief, the lock gives and Tess produces a lightbulb and another clue from the chest.

The new clue lines up perfectly with Paige’s initial clue and she puts in her new sequence, too. Her lock opens up and she extracts the lightbulb, swapping it out with Tess’s, screwing it back in, and locks it into place. Finally, the light in the room returns fully and the Valkyries cheer now that they can see better. Paige raises her hands in a high five, bumping chests with her wife, and nobody in the room can truly keep the grins off of their faces.

From then on, the six of them work like a well-oiled machine. There’s no true “leader” as everyone showcases their strengths on different puzzles. The clock in the corner of the room serves as motivating pressure, but they don’t let it get to them, staying focused and working together quickly.

With five minutes left on the clock, they’re struggling through the last puzzle together, searching for the final key to unlock the remaining door to escape. It’s Paige who clutches up with less than thirty seconds remaining, finally solving the puzzle and securing the key. Ayoka, Kiki, Tess, Azzi, and Kate all cheer as Paige fumbles with the key, sticking it in the lock and twisting. The door opens with a click! and the six of them rush out, high fiving each other with huge grins on their faces.

The operator meets them at the exit, grinning and congratulating them, but the sweetest reward of all is the maniacal laughter coming from within the room across the hall from them, followed by screaming. The six of them share a glance and within moments, the other half of their team exits their escape room, defeated looks on their faces, but no one is truly upset. Temi claps them all on the back, expressing her pride and the sentiment that “you don’t win them all,” and Tess softens a little bit.

Tess locks eyes with Janiah, who smirks at her. “Don’t wanna hear it,” she says, drawing laughter from the shooting guard as she raises her hands in surrender. “I ate my words – that’s okay.”

They gather for pictures, posing with weird props, and Paige rests her arm on Tess’s shoulder as if she’s more than two inches taller than her. Tess rolls her eyes, but grins when Paige presses a cheeky kiss to her temple, her lips curling into a faux snarl as she holds up a prop knife. Tess knows better than anyone else that these photos are going to cause the Internet to explode once the Valkyries media team posts them, but she can’t find it within herself to care, especially not when Paige pulls her a little tighter into her side.

The ensuing argument about where they should get lunch eclipses any argument or disagreement they had while they were in the escape room, but they eventually settle on a steakhouse not too far away. Everyone loads up, driving away without a second glance, but Paige hesitates for a moment in her Jeep.

“Everything okay?” Tess asks her, concerned as she places her hand over her wrist.

“Yeah,” Paige says softly, her shoulders relaxed. Tess knows instantly that it’s the truth. “I just…I’m really happy. I’m here with you. I love our teammates. Everything’s perfect.”

“It is,” Tess agrees, which makes Paige squeeze her hand gently. It’s a little strange to think back on everything they had to do to get here. The whole fake dating thing – to go from that to being married for real is hilarious in retrospect, but Tess wouldn’t change anything about them – the hundreds of miles apart during their rookie contracts, the countless hours of work and commitment and honesty. All of that has led Tess to where she is now – married, playing professional basketball with her best friend, and living the kind of life she used to always dream about.

iii. bueckers-kennedy to bueckers-kennedy for three, good if it goes…

OCTOBER 2029

Tip-off wasn’t for another ten minutes, but the Chase Center was already roaring. The cheering from both sides of the arena was almost suppressive, half of the stands donning the Valkyries white and purple and the other half clashing with the Indiana Fever red. Both the Valkyries and the Fever were equally matched – after DeWanna Bonner and Natasha Howard’s departures/retirements, the Fever scouted for young talent just as the Valkyries had. A couple of free agent steals added to their already stacked roster, but Tess knew that she was leaving this arena with another ring on her finger tonight, even if the Fever made her work for it.

To be honest, Tess didn’t really plan to go to the finals in her first year as a Valkyrie. Playoffs, sure, but the league was stacked. The Valkyries, however, rose to the challenge. They dominated the league with a staggering 39-5 record. Their starters were deadly and their bench was full of energy and experience. It took weeks of practice, drills, and film to get here, but Tess knew that her team was willing to do what it takes to shut down the Fever tonight.

Tess makes her final rounds to her teammates, offering words of encouragement. She’d truly grown into her own leadership role on this team, too, providing excellent veteran experience. She knew how to push the right buttons to get her team going, a trait she’d picked up from five years with Coach Staley, who was in the crowd tonight. She was actually courtside next to Geno. Knowing the both of them, they’d probably spend the entire game roasting their respective players. Smiling at that thought, Tess finally makes her way over to her wife, who is working on her handles and sinking the ball in from the midrange. Paige grins when she sees her, pulling an airpod out of her ear and joining Tess for their silly, pregame handshake with several steps.

“You ready for this?” Tess asks teasingly.

Paige kisses her teeth, waving her off. “‘Course I am,” she states confidently. “Just make sure you land your shots, a’ight? Azzi already thinks 75% of my passes go to you.”

Tess snorts. “That’s because they do, babe. And because I do land my shots, thank you very much. 67% three point shooter, remember?”

Paige smirks. “You tryna flirt with me before our big game?”

“Oh, are you turned on by numbers now?”

“Just the ones that show my girl’s the best shooter in the nation.” Tess rolls her eyes, unable to stop the blush from lighting up her cheeks. “You ready?” Paige’s voice softens.

“Yeah,” she confirms, no hesitation. “We’re unstoppable. We’ve got Azzi. Ayoka. Kiki. Kate. Madison–” Paige clears her throat, raising a pointed brow. “Oh, right. Saniya, Kayla, Celeste–”

“Heard,” Paige mutters. “I’m only passing to Azzi tonight.”

Tess laughs, her eyes shining. She squeezes Paige’s hand quickly, not wanting to do too much in front of the cameras that she knows are undoubtedly trained on them. “And the best point guard in the country,” she finishes in a murmur. Despite herself, Paige’s lips quirk into a smile, a little bashful. “What do you say about winning our first chip together tonight?”

“I’d say you’re running out of fingers to put your rings on,” Paige jokes.

“Well,” Tess hums, raising both of her hands and examining her ring fingers. Her engagement ring and wedding bands are both absent – because playing with jewelry was hazardous and Tess would lose her mind if her rings ever got damaged – but she smiles at the sight of the dual tattoos on both of her ring fingers. During the All-Star break, she and Paige had finally mustered enough courage to get matching ring tattoos so they could show it off, knowing that they couldn’t wear their rings as much as they’d like to due to their professions. “At least I always have the important ones.”

Paige’s smile turns impossibly tender. Seeming to forget about the cameras, she lets the ball fall to the ground, stopping it from rolling away with her foot, and takes both of Tess’s hands in her. Delicately, she presses her lips to both of Tess’s ring fingers, giving her hands a gentle squeeze. “I love you,” she whispers. “You and me?”

“You and me,” Tess agrees, smiling widely. “I love you, too.”

The time passes quickly and finally, the ball is tipped. Ayoka just barely beats Aliyah, awarding the Valkyries the first possession of the game, and Kiki passes the ball to Paige with haste as she begins directing traffic to her liking. The offense rotates seamlessly until a hole in the passing lane opens up and Paige sails it swiftly to Ayoka, who lays the ball in with ease.

The Fever open up their possession with a signature Caitlin Clark three. Paige, Tess, and Azzi share a glance as the ball falls through the net cleanly. If that’s the pace they want to play at, then the Valkyries are happy to oblige.

The first quarter passes in a series of back and forth buckets, crucial defensive stops, blocks and steals, and Tess ends it off with a clean eight points. Azzi trails her with six, then Paige with five (although she’s racked up five assists of her own), and Ayoka and Kiki combine for another eight points in the paint. The Valkyries hold a slim three point lead over the Fever, 27-24, but going into the second half, they’re unwilling to let that lead go.

And they don’t. The Valkyries double down on their defensive pressure, holding the Fever scoreless for the first four minutes. Kate, Saniya, and Madison provide great minutes for the Valkyries as they log a combined 14 points. Paige and Tess sit for the last three minutes of the half. They head into the locker room 53-48, where Natalie emphasizes the need for stops. The Fever were a very powerful team offensively – if they were able to shut them down there, then their defense would falter, too.

Although the Valkyries come back stronger in the second half, the Fever do, too. Caitlin opens the third quarter with two back to back threes that put the Fever in the lead by 1. One possession later, when they’re all in the huddle after Kiki was fouled by Aliyah in the paint, Paige reminds them to get their head in the game, to refocus. Caitlin was starting to take the game into her hands, which means she was passing less and shooting more. Applying pressure on Caitlin would get the ball moving, and since the rest of her team wasn’t as hot yet, applying pressure on them would stagnate their offense.

The rest of the third quarter passes quickly. The Valkyries are able to hold Caitlin out, but the rest of the Fever start warming up. Lexi Hull is explosive from the wings, adding to Aliyah’s paint dominance, and by the time the quarter ends, they’re tied 71-71.

This was their final game of the season. Win or go home. They’d played six games against the Fever already with the series tied at 3-3. The Valkyries need to put an end to this game, now. The final quarter was a defensive battle through and through. Tess comes down with two critical steals which allow for two, quick transition scores from Paige and Azzi respectively. Kiki and Ayoka own the paint, sending three different lay-up attempts flying into the fifth row of the stands. And Tess? She’s hot from three, sinking two back to back shots in seamlessly and forcing an early Fever timeout.

With three minutes left in the game, they’re still tied 82-82. They’d played a clean quarter and had a couple fouls to give, so the final minutes of the game were a test of clean clock management or getting the ball to their sharpshooters to hopefully make the deficit too large to come back from. After the timeout, the Fever have possession, and the game starts back up again.

The last minutes are tense, a mix of shots and bricks and running down the clock to try to get a hold of the last possession. The game is still tied 87-87 and with twenty-five seconds left on the clock, it appears as though the Fever are letting the time run down before they try for a final shot. Tess is on Caitlin like glue, the look in her eyes reminiscent of the second Final Four they’d ever played against each other in college. Tess has spent enough time playing against her and watching her play to read her tells perfectly. So when Caitlin steps back, gearing up for a deep three to either send the game into overtime or send the Fever home with a championship win, Tess jumps with all the power she can muster, the muscles in her body rippling as she extends her fingers as far as they could go.

The ball scrapes against her fingertips, sending it off-course and directly into Paige’s waiting hands. Tess and Paige are speeding off in tandem without another thought, but the Fever are quickly back on defense. With five seconds remaining, Tess makes a break to weave around Caitlin, acting as though she’s driving to the bucket, although she plants her feet and steps back, watching as Caitlin slides harmlessly across the court. She angles her body to receive the incoming pass from Paige and without a second thought, she pulls up to shoot the three.

Over the pounding of her heart, the roar of the crowd, and the commentator’s cry of, “Bueckers-Kennedy to Bueckers-Kennedy, good if it goes…”

The buzzer rings, echoing in the arena, but the swish of the net is all Tess truly registers.

“It’s good! The Golden State Valkyries are your 2029 WNBA Champions!”

Tess is immediately swarmed by her teammates, their laughter and cries and cheers like music to her ears. She feels the tears spring to her eyes as she wraps her arms around whoever, she doesn’t know, but she holds onto them as tightly as she possibly can. The one thing she does know like the back of her hand, however, is the looping arm around her waist, the warmth of the palm against her stomach, and Tess turns in their group hug to throw her arms around Paige’s neck. Her wife’s hold on her tightens as they share elated giggles. Tess can feel Paige’s tears as they soak into the fabric of her jersey, and this feeling right here – winning a championship and having your wife be the first person you see after sinking the game winner? There’s no better feeling in the world. Paige lifts her clean off the ground, the rest of the arena fading into nothing behind them, and the one thing Tess is certain of is that she and Paige have plenty more wins in front of them.

Tess lifts her head, scanning the crowd, the sea of white and purple jerseys that are here for her, for her team, at her home in the Bay. She watches as Azzi pulls Kate into a bone-crushing hug – they were truly a dynamic duo; Kate, becoming the face of the organization after the expansion draft and Azzi being the organization's first drafted Rookie of the Year. The both of them had truly put so much into this team and Tess can’t help the fresh wave of tears that pools in her eyes. Temi and Kiki pull Natalie onto the court to celebrate with her, too, because why wouldn’t they? Natalie is the fucking coach of the year and she’d just guided her team to a championship win in her fifth year as head coach.

Her feet touch the ground again, dragging her out of her thoughts, and Tess all but beams as she glances up at Paige, her hands resting atop her shoulders once more. “What I say, huh?” Paige jeers, a wide grin on her face. “Game winning three? You’re like that, baby?”

“Game winning assist?” Tess echoes, tangling her fingers in the fabric of Paige’s jersey. “We’re like that?”

Paige’s nose brushes hers, her teeth bared in excitement, although the look in her eyes is impossibly soft, reserved just for her. The kiss that Paige plants on Tess’s lips, in front of the crowds and the cameras and the eyes, softens the heat and the thrill of the moment, and Tess can’t help but sink into Paige’s embrace. They’d done it. They’d really done it. She almost can’t wrap her mind around it, but Paige is firm, tangible, here, and it’s all the proof that Tess needs to know that this wasn’t just a dream.

When Paige pulls away, her smile is tender. “Same time next year?” she murmurs, and all Tess can really do is pull her back in, whispering the same promise against her lips.

iv. no, sweetie, mamma does not have more championship wins than mommy, she’s lying to you

SOMETIME IN 2044

“And so that’s how you and Mamma fell in love? Like for real?”

Carter’s voice is childlike, full of wonder as she stares at both of her mothers in awe. At five years old, she’s the oldest of Tess and Paige’s two children. Their youngest child, another daughter named Alessia, is only a year younger than her sister, but Carter holds onto that year like it’s the most important thing in her life. To be honest, Carter probably gets that from Tess, which is something that Paige teases the both of them for on the daily. Both of their children are laid in their beds, having demanded a bedtime story like the hours they spent running around all day didn’t tire them out.

“For real,” Paige agrees, wide-eyed herself, and even after fifteen years married, nearly twenty together, her antics still make Tess smile like they’re lovesick twenty-somethings.

Both of them had retired in 2039 after ten successful years with the Valkyries. After their first championship win, they added on four more, which would probably be enough to secure their spots in the Hall of Fame. They’d long since retired their jerseys – both at the collegiate level and for the Valkyries. Numbers 5 and 25 would never be worn again, although at the rate Carter and Alessia are progressing, Tess and Paige think that they might have to make an exception for the next generation of Bueckers-Kennedys to carry on the torch. Carter and Alessia, fortunately, aren’t at the age where they want to argue about who gets which mother’s jersey number, but Tess knows that day is coming sooner rather than later. Following retirement, Natalie brought them on as assistant coaches, although Natalie herself retired a few years later. Tess and Paige were going into the 2044 season with Paige as the official head coach of the Valkyries and Tess as the associate head coach. Tess was content to let Paige have it, knowing the sheer amount of paperwork that came with being the head coach, although that was for naught as Paige tends to drag her into head coach conversations, anyways.

At first, Tess and Paige had wanted to adopt, but after looking at the IVF options, Tess quickly found the appeal in carrying. Paige was a hard no, which Tess wasn’t really bothered by, but pregnancy was a discussion that took a long time before they ever truly reached a consensus. It wasn’t that they were in disagreement on a lot of things. It was more so the fact that pregnancy was huge, even for them, and they wanted to give themselves enough time to fully consider the ins and outs of it and the extensive process that was IVF. Ultimately, Tess ended up carrying both Carter and Alessia, and that was that.

“And then you had me and Carter,” Alessia states matter-of-factly.

“I came first,” Carter points out proudly, puffing her chest out, and Tess and Paige share an amused glance.

“Yes, you did,” Tess agrees, brushing her fingers through Carter’s hair, her heart swelling when a toothy smile lights up her daughter’s features.

“Why couldn’t I have been born first?” Alessia complains.

“‘Cause you’d be named Carter,” Paige retorts, which makes Carter gasp and Alessia nod as if it makes a ton of sense.

“I like being Alessia,” their youngest daughter says, yawning when Paige adjusts her comforter, tucking her in and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

“Wait,” Carter says, a confused expression on her face as she sticks up her fingers to count. “So Mamma has one…two…champ-ships in college. Mommy has one.”

Paige’s eye twitches and Tess fights the urge to laugh. “Championships,” Tess enunciates slowly, smiling when Carter tests the syllables out on her tongue and strings the word together. “But yes, honey, Mamma had two championships in college and Mommy had one.”

“Then Mamma beat Mommy in the other champ – championship –” Tess nods proudly when Carter looks up at her for reassurance, “– and then Mamma and Mommy won five together.”

Tess hums in confirmation. “Your Mommy could never really win when it came to me, huh?”

That makes both of their children giggle, although Paige huffs dramatically. “Mamma wins more?” Alessia asks.

Tess nods again and Paige kisses her teeth. “No, sweetie, Mamma does not have more championship wins than Mommy, she’s lying to you,” she argues.

“Babe, what’d we say about lying to the kids?” Tess teases, but she knows Paige is just joking, too, matching smiles on both of their faces.

“Lying is bad,” Carter agrees wisely, waggling a small finger at Paige. The blonde swoops down, pretending to bite her finger, and that just sends Carter into another flurry of giggles.

“You’re too smart for your own good,” Paige murmurs, kissing Carter’s forehead. She makes sure to turn back around, brushing Alessia’s hair out of her face and grinning at her. “You, too. You both are the smartest, most beautiful, kindest girls in the world.” A smile grows on Tess’s face as she watches Paige interact with their children. When they were first seriously talking about pregnancy, Paige was always a little worried that she wouldn’t be a good mom. She thought motherhood had to be natural, that it couldn’t be trial and error. Tess finds that Paige is a mix of both. She’s a natural in the way she uplifts and encourages their daughters, in the way she teaches them how to be better humans, although it took her a few attempts to figure out how to discipline them (on the rare occasions it was warranted – Tess and Paige truly lucked out and got the perfect children).

Tess used to think that one day, it would be impossible to fall anymore in love with Paige, but she continues to surprise her. Watching her be a mother to their daughters activates a different part of her brain entirely. It’s like it was something she was destined to do, and Tess can’t help the way her heart swells at the sight.

“Time for bed,” she says softly. Surprisingly, Carter and Alessia don’t complain, only sticking out their tiny arms. Tess and Paige both wrap them up in tight hugs, leading them both through their goodnight prayers and making sure to whisper their I love yous. With a gentle chorus of “Night Mamma, night Mommy”, Paige shuts off the light in their room, closing the door with a gentle click.

Paige doesn’t waste anymore time after. She wraps her arms around Tess from behind, sighing against her softly as her head falls onto her shoulder, pressing a chaste, innocent kiss to her neck. “You’re really good with them,” Tess comments.

Paige squeezes her waist a little tighter, a soft noise that sounds vaguely like disbelief building in her throat. “They’re my girls,” she murmurs. “So are you.” Her hands trail to her stomach, fingers brushing against the soft skin of her navel, the sinew and the power in her muscles despite how motherhood has softened her. “I love you so much, you know that?”

Tess chuckles, twisting around in Paige’s embrace to hug her fully. Her body is warm against hers, solid. It’s always the easiest way to ground her after long days where being a mother tests her patience. Paige’s arms envelop her fully and Tess sighs, melting into her. “Been told a time or two,” she murmurs, which makes Paige huff out something akin to laughter as she sways them back and forth.

“You’re good with them, too, you know,” Paige reminds her after a while.

“You make it easy,” she states.

“We’re a team.”

In lieu of a verbal response to that, Tess presses up on the tips of her toes to kiss her wife, soft brushes that make her feel like it’s their first kiss all over again. The peace in her heart feels like contentment, like relief. She has everything she’s ever wanted in life; her wife, her family, her legacy. Wrapped up in Paige’s arms outside of their childrens’ bedroom is truly what fulfillment feels like.

When Paige draws back far enough to whisper, “Thank you for giving me this life,” Tess knows exactly what she means. Her love, her heart, their children – they all add up to be the greatest successes of their shared life together. Tess couldn’t be anymore thankful, more appreciative of the way her life has played out. Paige is worth it. Their children are worth it. And for as long as she has her family, she knows that home isn’t so far away.

#paige bueckers #paige bueckers x oc #uconn wbb #ncaa wbb

191 notes · View notes

midnightwriter21 · 9 months ago

Text

aot hcs: them as boyfriends

characters: levi, eren, connie

warnings: i have the mouth of a sailor im srry

an: first aot fic lesss gooooooo!!! lmk if y’all want another part with diff characters!!

LEVI ACKERMAN

*sigh* he's so girlfriend

starting off strong...

this man is NAWT kissing you in public lololol

he's got a reputation to uphold

however!!

he will show pda in much smaller, more subtle ways

walking down the street, he's offering his arm for you to loop yours through

or guiding you with a hand on your lower back

if y'all are walking through a crowd he is CRUSHING your hand with his grip

he's not trying to hurt your hand haha

he's just strong, can't see over peoples heads, and doesn't wanna lose you in the sea of people

he'll keep that unbothered bored look on his face but just know that on the inside that this man is stressed lmfao

alsoooo

service bf to the maxxxxx

dude is not good with expressing his feelings

especially romantic ones lol

so he expresses his love by doing little tasks for you

oh you forgot to get food for your cat?

levi already has it

can't get that jar of pickles open?

he's snatching it out your hands and popping it open

and you already know your house is about to be the CLEANEST its ever been on god

i feel so bad

for the person to shit talk you in front of levi

on my mama let somebody say something slick lmfaooo

he is not gonna let it slide

forget getting physically violent

this mans mouth is absolutely DIABOLICAL

in more ways than one if ur picking up what im putting down

*ahem* will make said person cry with his words alone

period.

EREN YEAGER

meowwwwwwwww

bark bark bark

*insert other animal noise here*

huh? somebody say something?

no? okay

AHEM

this man right here? cocky asf

dude is fine

and knows it too

and he knows y’all make a FINEEEE ASS COUPLE

shows you and your relationship off all the time

not a day goes by where he’s not posting you on social media

and he coordinates yalls outfits too omg

he makes sure his clothes match yours

not exactly matching ofc but the colors

if ur wearing a red dress to an event

he’s wearing a red tie

it’s a casual day and you’re wearing a blue shirt or dress?

his shoes/accessories/etc. are gonna be the same color

it’s an aesthetic that he keeps up with. period.

also he CANNOT keep ur name out his mouth

brings you up in every conversation possible

“i think y/n mentioned wanting to go see that movie too. was it good?”

“nah sorry, my girl said she wants to have a date night soon so i’ll have to pass. we can make plans another day though.”

“i gotta go to the store when i leave here. i wanna get some stuff to surprise my girlfriend, y/n, when i get home.”

and he is handsy asf

bro is touching you at all times swear

it’s impossible to walk past this man without him latching onto you and lathering you in kisses and feeling you up

in public he’s gonna keep it respectful tho

unless he knows he won’t get caught lmfao

introduces you to mikasa and armin

wants all of the important people in his life to get along ofc

i love him sm

CONNIE SPRINGER

let’s get right into it shall we?

as soon as y’all make it official

i mean the MINUTE y’all are boyfriend girlfriend

he’s calling up all his friends to tell them the news

and then he’s making plans for them to meet up so he can introduce you

i feel like he takes you on a lot of fun dates

y’all don’t jus go get dinner and then go home

that’s too lame for connie

he’s taking you to laser tag, haunted houses, trampoline parks, etc.

and let me tell you this rn

come close

connie is NOT teaming up with you for laser tag

he’s making sure he’s on the opposite team so he can’t hunt you down over and over

will not take it easy on you idc

anyways… when y’all do go to dinner

7/10 times sasha is third wheeling yall

maybe jean too lol

idk i jus think that for connie it’s “the more the merrier”

especially since dinner isn’t something that’s gonna get his blood pumping yk?

but at least y’all can all get drunk and be funny together as a group right?

connie is so incredibly dedicated to being a dumbass around you

like as long as it makes you laugh, nothing is off limits

bro is constantly cracking jokes, telling embarrassing stories, doing stupid shit in public

he wants you happy. at. all. times.

this being said

if ur sad connie is doing anything and everything to cheer you up

i’m talking getting you ur fav snacks, renting that movie you always talk about, and pulling you close for a snuggle

yeah so i want to eat him basically

351 notes · View notes

ssprayberrythings · 1 year ago

Text

our little secret | CL16

charles x female!reader / smau fic

this was a request so thank you anon for providing the idea, i changed some of the detailing ever slightly to fit it more into the social media format but overall i followed the request so i hope i did it justice!

as a bit of a background: you and charles have been together for a few years now, but nobody knows because they’ve kept their relationship secret from the f1 community and private from anyone who follows you. everything is going great until photos of you and charles on vacation get leaked. normally you’d deny it or ignore it but it was very obviously charles in the pictures which cause fans to go crazy, wanting to know everything ultimately resulting in you and charles deciding to go public and hoping for the best. oh and the request included having other drivers on the grid having gone through recent breakups which was another reason charles liked that your relationship was private.

warnings: none, just pure fluff and charles being a simp for his girlfriend !!

yourusername posted on their instagram

yourbestfriend, yoursister, user23 & others liked

life recently ⭐️🫶🌸

view all comments

user1: y/n i still cant believe we haven’t figured out who your partner is, its been atleast a couple years

user2: at this point, i don’t even care who it is, as long as she’s happy

yoursister: awe the flowers, he’s the sweetest

╰ yourusername: i know !

user22: one day we’ll find out…i hope

╰ user17: we can only hope

yourbestfriend: i love that youre happy but i don’t enjoy third wheeling, does he have any single friends he can atleast bring along 🥲

╰ yourusername: sorry..pretty sure all his close friends are in relationships 🫣

charles_leclerc posted on their instagram

f1fan, pierregasly, landonorris, fanofleclerc & others liked

who do i give these flowers too

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fanofleclerc: YOU CAN GIVE THEM TO ME

f1fan: ILL TAKE THEM OFF YOUR HANDS CHARLES

user30: how is this man single ???? he’s so boyfriendcoded

landonorris: i’d prefer literally anything else but i guess you can give them to me

╰ charles_leclerc: ill pass

f1: we’ll take them for you charles, im sure someone in the paddock would like them

yourusername posted on their story

caption: he loves me i swear..😉

*replies disabled*

charles_leclerc posted on their instagram

pierregasly, landonorris, f1, f1fan, charlesleclercfan_ & others liked

enjoying the sun whenever i can

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fanofcharles: hes so beautiful wow

charlesleclercfan_: imagine running into charles leclerc while he’s shirtless? id pass away

pierregasly: photo creds would be nice..

╰ charles_leclerc: you didn’t take the photo ?

╰ pierregasly: yes but i was behind the camera offering support, its basically the same thing

f1fan: pierre and charles’ friendship is top tier

╰ liked by f1

yourusername posted on their instagram

yoursister, yourbestfriend, user20 & others liked

me and everyone’s favourite man hit the town 🍸

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yourbestfriend: its giving old money, i love it

╰ liked by yourusername

user20: im sure whoever he is, is a gorgeous man

user12: i may not know who he is but i aspire for these vibes

yoursister: the hand placement is everything

╰ liked by yourusername & yourbestfriend

user44: whoever he is, he was raised right, that hand placement says everything and him holding y/n’s heels, god has favourites

charles_leclerc posted on instagram

charlesleclercfan_, f1, f1fan, landonorris & others liked

hikes at sunset >

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charlesleclercfan_: omg charles

charlesleclercfan_: i think my heart just stopped

f1fan: he knows what he’s doing, he has to

user33: brb finding the strength cause this photo makes me weak

user2: he looks so happy

yourusername posted on their instagram

yourbestfriend, user22, user14, user7 & others liked

my two favourite people 🫶

tagged: @yourbestfriend

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user2: mystery man once again

user14: the way they go on runs together

yourbestfriend: the only time i’ll gladly be a third wheel..i love a good walk/run at sunset

╰ yourusername: i know how much you love your sunset runs

user12: couples that run together, stay together

╰ liked by yourusername

yourusername posted on their story

caption: my whole 🌎

*replies disabled*

yourbestfriend posted on their story

caption: i once again find myself third wheeling..@yourusername

╰ yourusername: atleast you could walk away when you wanted..

╰ yourbestfriend: not the point..but tell charles thank you for paying for me aswell

╰ yourusername: will do 😅

charles_leclerc posted on their story

caption: enjoying some local art before racing starts again

*replies disabled*

yourusername posted on their instagram

yoursister, yourbestfriend, user3, user15 & others liked

gonna miss watching the sunrise in the morning and the sunset in the evening with you 🥺

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user3: wait where is he going

user23: awe, i hope everything’s okay and they haven’t broken up

╰ user4: i think mystery man has to leave, but they’re still together

yourbestfriend: mom and dad..fr

╰ liked by yourusername

user44: wherever mystery man has to go, i hope he comes back soon

“Merci mon amour” You smiled as he situated himself next to you in bed. Having been dating now for almost 3 years, you had picked up on french terms and were able to have small conversations only speaking French with Charles

“I posted you on instagram” you told him as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders pulling you closer into him but being careful not to spill the drink in your hands

“Oh what did you post? My phones charging” he explained as you unlocked your phone and showed him the post you made for him “You’re now being referred to as mystery man” you chuckled.

Out of all the names people had given him throughout the years, this was definitely your favourite. Charles also chuckled when he heard the name that was given to him

“Can I ask you something?” Charles asked after a few seconds of comfortable silence passed between the two of you

“Of course, what’s up?” you asked after taking a small sip of your tea “Do you ever think about going public with our relationship?” He followed up

You turned to face him fully “Of course, mon amour but we both agreed it was better this way” You reiterated the promise you made early on in your relationship

“I know but I hate that I cant comment on your posts or even post you myself” he sighed “I want to keep you safe but I also want the whole world to know you’re mine and I’m yours” he finished.

“I know it’s not fair” you exclaimed while running your fingers through his hair, something you did for him when he was stressed or feeling anxious “I love you all the time though regardless if you post me or not you know that. Right?” You asked him

“Of course I do” he told you in response closing his eyes feeling relaxed “One day we’ll go public. Im making you that promise” he told you opening his eyes again

You smiled at him “Sounds like a beautiful promise” you responded, leaning in to kiss his cheek “As much as I would love to spend the rest of the night talking with you, you have to be at the airport early tomorrow” you reminded him as you stopped playing with his hair, to turn and put your mug on the bedside table next to your side of the bed, Charles putting his own mug on the table next to his side

“Im gonna miss you” he told you when you were both situated in bed, the only source of light coming from the evening sky outside “Not as much as I’m gonna miss you” you told him, snuggling into his side while his arm pulled you closer to him.

Even if you had been dating for awhile, the start of the race season was always a struggle, neither of you wanting to be apart for long periods of time but it was moments like these that you held close and savoured until the next time you could be this close again.

yourusername posted on their story

caption: my happy place 🎨

╰ charles_leclerc: babe i miss you already and its only been a few days

╰ yourusername: i know but soon you’ll be busy with media events, qualifying, racing and the time will go by quicker, i promise my love

╰ charles_leclerc: facetime tonight so i can see your beautiful face ?

╰ yourusername: of course ❤️

yourusername posted on their story

caption: now whose third wheeling..😠 @yourbestfriend

╰ yourbestfriend: oh hush up, this was only one time compared to how many times i third wheeled you and driver boy

╰ yourusername: okay fair point…also driver boy? wait till i tell charles that one 😂

more replies..

╰ charles_leclerc: omg since when did y/bf/n get a boyfriend? i want all the details

╰ yourusername: i’ll tell you everything on our facetime call, its a pretty cute story of how they met

╰ charles_leclerc: okay but not as cute as when we met? right?

╰ yourusername: oh never, we have the ultimate cutest first meet story 🤭

charles_leclerc posted on their instagram

f1, carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari, landonorris & others liked

feels good to be back 🏎️

tagged: @scuderiaferrari

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scuderiaferrari: looking forward to a great season !

╰ liked by charles_leclerc

f1fan: HE LOOKS SO WELL RESTED AND HAPPY, FERRARI YOU BETTER DO CHARLES JUSTICE THIS SEASON

f1: as if we weren’t already excited for the new season !!

╰ liked by charles_leclerc

charlesleclercfan_: IM SO EXCITED

charlesleclercupdates: THIS IS HIS SEASON, I CAN ALREADY FEEL IT

Charles was standing with the other drivers, whenever the new season started they always had to do a bunch of media and although some drivers may hate how childish some of the antics were, overall it’s always a nice time getting to be in the same place as everyone and not be competing for once.

Charles turned to George and Pierre who were in conversation with Carlos and Lando. Somehow they had gotten on the topics of relationships, Lando having told everyone that the girl he was seeing at the end of the previous season before the break, wasn’t in the picture anymore.

“Aw mate I’m sorry” Charles told him “Its okay, we weren’t anything serious” Lando told him, seeming to be completely fine with the outcome. “Carlos how are you and your lady?” Lando asked Carlos taking the attention off of him

“Ehh, its alright” Charles’ teammate answered the question directed at him “We barely talk and now with racing starting, I don’t see her sticking around much longer” he explained his current situation.

To Charles it seemed as though everyone who had been relationships or atleast talking to someone, now had no one which made him a feel a bit guilty as he had been in a 2 year long relationship that none of them knew of.

Later in the day, the guilt in Charles stomach only grew when he somehow found out 3 more drivers on the grids long term relationships had ended. He was feeling unnerved because it seemed as if there was some sort of relationship ruiner going through the paddock and he didn’t want to be the next victim.

That night, he called you up, for a moment forgetting about the time change but remembering its only a small change. You answered after a few rings, you had your painting scrubs on indicating you had been working on a new piece of art

“Hi mon amour” you exclaimed happy to see your boyfriend “I was just in the middle of painting, let me just take my scrubs off so I can move to the couch” You explained, Charles nodded his head acknowledging you

“Okay tell me how everything went today, I want to hear it all” you started talking again once you were situated on your couch. Charles started telling you about his day making sure to include what he learned about his fellow racers, which only caused you both to feel content keeping your relationship to yourselves.

yourusername posted on their instagram

caption: disconnecting to enjoy the serenity of camping 🏕️

*replies disabled*

f1updates posted on their instagram

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old photos of charles leclerc with an unknown female leaked. reports say this was last year during the summer break, which brings up the questions of who is she? were they dating here? if yes, are they still dating? everyone wants to know.

*comments disabled*

charlesleclerc_updates posted on their instagram

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more leaked photos of charles with this mystery woman. who is she? i know im not the only one dying to know

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user11: OH MY

f1fan: CHARLES MY DUDE WHAT IS THIS

f1updates: does anyone have any idea on who she is

╰ user15: no clue

user3: she’s pretty from what ive seen

user22: i need to know everything

ferrarifan: what i would give to have been a fly on the wall when charles found out these got leaked

Charles was resting in his drivers room. He was trying to mediate which meant he had his phone silenced. This was something you started doing with him when he would get in his head about racing and it helped him regain his focus especially during the moments when he was to hard on himself.

He had been in here for probably 30 minutes before there was a rapid knock on the door “Charles, its Carlos can I come in?” his teammate asked from the other side

“Yeah” Charles answered. Carlos opened the door and stepped into the room “Have you been on instagram?” Carlos asked holding his phone in his hand

“No why?” Charles was confused, what was so important on there that had Carlos wondering of his activity on the app “You should see this” Carlos told him while passing him his opened phone.

When Charles looked down and saw what he saw, he felt his heart stop. There you and him were on his boat, last summer. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He scrolled through his tagged and it was flooded with the same pictures posted by various accounts

“This isn’t good” he mumbled to himself as he passed Carlos his phone back so he could pick up his own phone. He went to go text you immediately when he remembered you had told him, you and your best friend were going camping for a few days which meant you wouldn’t have reception until you got back home.

He opted to still text you something rather than nothing, that way you would see his message once you turned your phone back on and would give him a call.

“Can I ask who she is?” Carlos asked after a few moments of silence “Shes my girlfriend. We’ve been together now for almost 3 years” Charles answered his friends question, figuring the secret was out now and there was no point in lying.

“Oh wow, you’ve kept this going for that long and its just now coming to light. Thats impressive” Carlos told him

“Yeah we decided early on to keep it between us” Charles sighed “We were planning on going public eventually but I guess the public beat us to it”

Carlos just gave his teammate a sympathetic nod, there wasn’t anything he could say in the moment but he could still be there for his friend.

A few days after this, when you were on the drive back to your place, you turned your phone back on, having a few texts from Charles. One that stood out, read ‘Babe give me a call when you can. I have to talk to you about something’ the text from Charles read.

You weren’t sure what this could be about so you didn’t wait to dial his number once you were in the comfort of your apartment. After a few rings, Charles answered, asking you how camping was and catching up before moving on to talk about what happened while you were offline.

That night you and Charles had a long conversation on what you both wanted to do in this situation and after some back and forth, finally came to a decision regarding your relationship that you both hoped you wouldn’t regret down the line.

yourusername posted on their story

caption: he’s back ♥️

╰ yourbestfriend: happy anniversary to you two:)

charles_leclerc posted on their story

caption: when she makes you breakfast 😍

╰ maxverstappen1: WAIT ‘SHE’ ??

╰ carlossainz55: AW

╰ landonorris: soft launch?

yourusername posted on their instagram

yourbestfriend, charles_leclerc, landonorris, pierregasly & others liked

i guess after 3 years, my mystery man isn’t a mystery anymore.

happy 3 years mon amour 😘

tagged: @charles_leclerc

comments have been limited

charles_leclerc: i love our love

charles_leclerc: 3 years into it, a lifetime to go

╰ liked by yourusername

yourbestfriend: so happy for you both 🥹

╰ liked by yourusername

pierregasly: oh wait this is actually cute

╰ landonorris: agreed !!!!

charles_leclerc posted on their instagram

yourusername, yourbestfriend, f1, landonorris, maxverstappen1 & others liked

hard launching because i’ve wanted to post my girl since i met her

joyeux anniversaire, ma chérie 💌

tagged: @yourusername

comments have been limited

yourusername: i love you

yourusername: falling asleep on you > falling asleep on the bed

╰ liked by charles_leclerc

f1: we’re happy for you:)

maxverstappen1: 3 YEARS? WOW

maxverstappen1: happy for you dude

carlossainz55: bring her to the races so we can all meet her !!

╰ liked by yourusername & charles_leclerc

i hope you enjoyed this one. im trying to get more into including actual pieces of writing so hopefully for this one, everything made sense. as always feel free to leave any comments or you can make your own request, up to you! ♥️

#ssprayberrythings x formula one #charles leclerc #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #f1 smau #f1 x reader #f1 #f1 imagine #charles x smau #formula one #imagines #x reader

1K notes · View notes

maplesyrupsainz · 11 months ago

Text

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙we were in paris | PG10˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: pierre gasly x singer!reader y/n (she/her) x kika gomes

genre: social media au, polyamory

warnings: polyamory lol

summary: in which it takes the world a while to understand the type of love you have found 🩷

a/n: u alr know i'll never say no to a pierre & kika request (dont hold me to that)

request!!!: could you do pierre gasly x kika gomes x singer reader (Fc taylor swift)

my masterlist

fc: taylor swift

instagram ->

ynupdates

liked by francisca.cgomes, user24, and others

ynupdates y/n seen leaving a restaurant this evening in monaco, AGAIN – the third time this month she has been spotted here.

tagged: yourusername

view all comments

user1 omg monaco again why???

user2 is she making music or something

user3 doubt it in monaco

user4 maybe she's on holiday lol

user5 why is pierre gasly's gf in the likes

ynupdates i was wondering too 😭

user6 who is that?

user7 pierre gasly an f1 driver his gf is a model kika gomes!!!

user8 she's sooo gorgeous

user9 new music when

user10 omg we've been seeing so much of y/n lately <3

user11 maybe she's dating someone

user12 u guys are obsessed 😒

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by sabrinacarpenter, gracieabrams, and others

yourusername hangin’ round 🩵

view all comments

user13 who is the girl?

user14 y/n is sooo cosy girl coded

user15 writing more music for us i hope 👀

user16 hangin round where...monaco? 😂

user17 hahaha so true

user18 i think that's kika gomes?

user19 omg i thought so too

user20 RIGHT??!!! im so certain

user21 it would make sm sense fr

gracieabrams need to c u soon

yourusername omg 🥹 100%

oliviarodrigo new music soon queen? 👀

yourusername 🤫

user22 oh to be a yndaughter

user23 i need to be a girlie in the music industry

user24 same i love how y/n supports them all

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by francisca.cgomes, daisyedgarjones, and others

user32 nooo u need to be in miami

user33 boo!!!! not france!!!!

user34 y/n ur running out of time! miami needs u!

user35 i still have faith.... (dnt make me look delusional y/n i beg)

francisca.cgomes bring us some lemons 🥺

yourusername 😘 anything for you!

yourbff miami? 👀

yourusername 🤫 no comment

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by francisca.cgomes, pierregasly, and others

user36 EVERYBODY CHEEREDDD AHHHH

user37 omg alpine too i knew it

user38 ofc ur at the pink team

yourbff tell kika i said hi

yourusername ya ya ya

user39 this confirms kikayn friendship yippee

user40 YAYYY kikapierreyn is happening i can tell!!!!! new fav friendship abt to dropppp

alpinef1team 👀

liked by yourusername

francisca.cgomes posted a story

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, and others

alpinef1team our girllll

liked by yourusername

scuderiaferrari she should be with us

francisca.cgomes in your dreams!!

mclaren she would look better in papaya

francisca.cgomes if you dont get out of my dms 👊

mclaren 😳😳😳

user41 ahhhhhhhhh oh my godddddddd

user42 bffs for sure..?

user43 so cute

user44 most random friendship ever

yourusername posted a story

liked by yourbff, francisca.cgomes, and others

user45 omg i just screamed

user46 AHHHHHHH

estebanocon 😂 welcome to my world, y/n

yourusername aww i love it here!!!

estebanocon rather you than me!

user47 third wheel y/n era

user48 this friendshipppp omg

charles_leclerc better get used to it

yourusername more than happy to 😉

scuderiaferrari see, this is why you should've chose our garage

yourusername 😂 keep dreaming ferrari!! ily tho

twitter ->

instagram ->

francisca.cgomes

liked by yourusername, pierregasly, and others

francisca.cgomes golden days ☀️

tagged: yourusername

view all comments

user56 omg

user57 LOL what is this?

user58 it's so gay

user59 ???

user60 such an unlikely friendship what the hell

user61 this is so cosy

user62 too cosy 🤨

user63 ya that person who said pierre & kika were looking for a third might be onto something 😂

user64 urm so weird to speculate this kind of stuff right under her post...

pierregasly gorgeous 🩷🩷

liked by francisca.cgomes

user65 the last pic is soo date vibes..?

yourusername 😘 ily my girl!!

francisca.cgomes ilysm

charles_leclerc bring the cat to the next race!

francisca.cgomes hahaha as if

yourusername never!!!! leo will eat her

charles_leclerc this is slander

alexandrasaintmleux he's innocent!

yourusername for now 😱

yourusername

liked by yourbff, francisca.cgomes, and others

yourusername 🎶

tagged: francisca.cgomes, pierregasly

view all comments

francisca.cgomes cutest girl

yourusername 🩷🩷🩷

user66 kika always first to like & comment 😭

user67 omg the second pic pierre driving & the girls in the back?!? 😭

user68 they love eachother

user69 .....g-g-gay

gracieabrams new music i hope? 👀

yourusername not telling u a thing!

gracieabrams pls y/n pls

user70 one of us

pierregasly 🩷

liked by yourusername

user71 hello???

user72 sus

alexandrasaintmleux so excited to see you back in the studio y/n! 😭

liked by yourusername

yourbff miss youuu

yourusername come into the studio w me tmr 👀

yourbff oh i'll be there trust

user73 pic 3 she's third wheel again? 😭

user74 🕯️y/n new music🕯️

ynupdates

liked by user11, user55, user18, and others

ynupdates y/n seen out last night with formula one driver (& boyfriend of her new friend, kika gomes?), pierre gasly. they held hands and he helped her into the car.. thoughts?

tagged: yourusername, pierregasly

view all comments

user75 what the hell..???

user76 ??????????????????????????

user77 huh? is he cheating on kika with her friend fr

user78 what is going onnn

user79 never would've had y/n down as a home wrecker

user80 suits her vibe she's so pick me....

user81 omg this is so gross

user82 there must be an explanation for this i beggg

user83 she's so weird

user84 not shocked by her

user85 if they're cheating why do it so openly

user86 right?? it's so strange

user87 she's their third ☀️

user88 stop it😭😂😂

user89 i need them to say something asap...

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by francisca.cgomes, pierregasly, and others

yourusername privacy sign on the door, & on my page and on the whole world... ‘paris’ is (not dead if you keep it just) yours now.

tagged: francisca.cgomes, pierregasly

view all comments

user98 FUCK OFFFFFFF

user99 omg what is going on..?

user100 IM SO IM LOVE THAT I MIGHT STOP BREATHING???

user101 paris?? and arent pierre and kika french...

user102 no i didnt see the news coz we were in paris 🤨

user103 romance isnt dead if u keep it just urs

user104 i wanna brainwash u into loving me forever????

user105 omg this song has too many iconic lines

user106 is this ABOUT pierre & kika??

user107 im so lost is she dating them or is it inspired by their relationship

user108 this is so clearly a throuple hard launch

user109 it could just be about their relationship tho like

user110 GIRL listen to urself 💀

user111 so she isnt a home wrecker...?

francisca.cgomes Y/N I LVOE YOU OH MY GOD

liked by yourusername

pierregasly you're insane for this..... ❤️

yourusername 😘

yourbff ur so amazing

yourbff but also insane

yourusername HAHAHAH

charles_leclerc oh my god

liked by yourusername

danielricciardo no comment

yourusername 🤡

maxverstappen1 great song y/n

yourusername mwahhh thank u max verstappen

user112 omg this is crazy

user113 her full naming him is so real

francisca.cgomes posted a story

liked by pierregasly, yourbff, and others

yourusername dont expose me!!

francisca.cgomes sorryyyy 🥹

user114 more music?

user115 ALBUM ALBUM ALBUM

user116 leak it to us

user117 kika do u not care abt the pap pics of y/n & pierre 😭

user118 can u guys address the pics 😂

interview ->

transcript: interviewer: so we wanted to ask what was going on with your new friend, y/n… / pierre: ah, well, she's a close close friend of mine an kika's, i think it's obvious. / p: there has been a lot of speculation i've seen and i want to say that we're happy and y/n hasn't done anything wrong.

transcript: interviewer: so you and kika are still together? / p: yes as i said, we're all very happy / interviewer: but the photos OF (sorry typo) you and y/n- / p: i don't want anymore questions like this, i said we're happy, if you're still confused then i'm not sure what else to say.

instagram ->

francisca.cgomes

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and others

francisca.cgomes three's a party!! 🎉

tagged: yourusername, pierregasly

view all comments

user119 "three" this "we" that..

user120 ...what are you saying

user121 THROUPLE!!!!!

yourusername and what a party it is 🥰🥰

francisca.cgomes 🥹🥹

user122 and im supposed to believe they're jus friends?

user123 THEY ARE ALL SO CUTE OMGGG

user124 this trio has changed my life

charles_leclerc okay okay we get it

francisca.cgomes shut up loser!!

pierregasly somebody's jealous 😂

user125 LOL charles is sick of them

user126 the second pic 🥹

landonorris very cute

francisca.cgomes are you being nice to us?

yourusername very suspicious

landonorris wow. let me live

pierregasly je t'aime mes filles ❤️ [trans: i love you my girls]

liked by francisca.cgomes, yourusername

user127 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

user128 omgg im obsessed

yourusername

liked by gracieabrams, pierregasly, and others

yourusername we've decided to drop two more songs.... hope you like them. ‘lavender haze’ and ‘sweet nothing’ are yours now. 🥹

tagged: francisca.cgomes, pierregasly

view all comments

user129 "we" OH MY GOD!!!

user130 omg y/n & kila look so hot in the first pic

user131 ok im obsessed. officially

user132 i've been under scrutiny u handle it beautifully 🥹

user133 im damned if i do give a damn what ppl say 🥹

user134 no deal the 1950s shit they want from me 😭

user135 i find myself running home to ur sweet nothings 🥺

user136 to you i can admit im just too soft for it all 😭

user137 ur in the kitchen humming... 💖

user138 all that u ever wanted from me was sweet nothing!!!!

charles_leclerc the songs are so beautiful y/n!! ❤️

yourusername tysm charles 🥹

gracieabrams never loved anything as much as i love sweet nothing 💞

liked by yourusername

yourbff ur amazing

yourusername ilysm

pierregasly beyond proud of you

yourusername couldnt have done it without u <3

pierregasly nonsense!

user139 omg they're so cute

francisca.cgomes stop or i'll cry

yourusername 😭 precious girl omg

user140 MAKE IT STOP🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

pierregasly

liked by yukitsunoda0511, charles_leclerc, and others

pierregasly she brainwashed us into loving her forever... 😵

tagged: francisca.cgomes, yourusername

view all comments

yourusername i did not

yourusername wait did i?

yourusername another win for y/n

pierregasly hahahahahha

francisca.cgomes who the hell wouldnt love you forever y/n!!??!

yourusername ask me again in a week!!!

pierregasly A WEEK? you have no faith in us

yourusername lol. i love you guys

*comments on this post have been restricted*

THE END 🩷

971 notes · View notes

dearlyd3parted · 5 months ago

Text

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖: 𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜 | 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

🕸️syp: Mark Lee is many things; A 2nd year college student, A stressed Stark Industries intern, Your friendly neighborhood Spiderman, and also your childhood friend. He's also a secret fifth thing, a loser hopeless romantic who's been in love with you for years. Due to his inexperience, it takes him two failed attempts at a confession until the third is finally a charm. 🕸️mark lee x fem!reader - (127 centered) biggest idiots in love u will ever read 🕸️feat: a bit of nct dream, xiaojun from wayv, and yunjin from lsrfm cause mother 🕸️word count: total 26.2k 🕸️warnings: some profanity (mark is very stressed ok), descriptions of injuries (blood, cuts, bruises), light angst, mostly just misunderstandings and such, brief mention of smoking, eventual smut 🕸️authors note: ok i genuinely had so much fun writing this one i love mark so much and i live to push the spidermark agenda. i don't follow any exact mcu plot. just inspired more heavily by tom holland cinmenatic universe! also he has glasses in this fic, i know canonically spiderman has perfect vision but idc i have a nerd agenda to push ;p i've only proofread once, so pls bear with any typos. to my current followers who were waiting on me to post, i spent a lot of time on this one so that is why content is delayed, but i hope it makes up for it! im doing more piwon next! i really like this one and hope u do too. pls reblog and like and follow for more ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ 🕸️chapter index: chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 tags🏷:

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟷: 𝙵𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚎𝚝𝚛𝚢 - wc: 8.3k

Mark Lee has always been sure of his identity.

It seems that since birth he has had a very firm grasp on himself, what his personality is like, what he wanted in his future, what he wanted in the very moment. Mark has never been a mystery to him.

When he was in the 6th grade, he knew he was a buzzing personality. He knew he was a jokester, always smiling, always laughing, even when the moment didn't call for it. He knew that he loved to talk about anything, really. He could spend hours talking an unsuspecting classmate's ear off about his favorite subjects (math and english, never science), the video game he just played, or some cool new thing one of his favorite superheroes did.

However, because of his...as one would put it in kind terms, passion for life and anything that excited him slightly, he had a hard time making friends. Sure, he had some, the same handful of guys who had been perpetually stuck with each other since elementary school, but making new ones was the problem.

It was at that point that Mark realized he is also a people pleaser from time to time. Especially at 12 years old when everyone is dying to fit in. So, in order to get some of his peers to find him...not annoying, he tried to mimic their personalities.

Mark amped up the snarky-ness and the sassiness, changed his look to what could best replicate what was popular at the time, and started talking about Tony Stark maybe 30% less (That really was the best he could do).

And surprisingly....it worked. For a bit there, he was thinking he might slowly climb his way up from whimsical nerd to just some dude. God, he wanted to be just some dude so badly.

Then one day he saw you.

You sat alone on the end of a lunch table, a pizza lunchable in front of you as you clicked away on your DSI, seemingly playing...Pokémon? Of course, adorned with a Star Wars backpack sat right next to you. He shuddered a bit at the sight, but not negatively. He just really wished that was him instead of what he was currently doing, trailing behind the kids who play basketball after school with an immense 'cool kid' vibe to them.

Mark took immediate note at how they snickered at you, the word nerd being thrown around being most obviously about you. As he gripped onto his tray, a sly smile masking an internal panic on his face, he figured it was a perfect time to prove himself as he followed his pack leaders.

Mark cleared his throat as he approached you, ready to strike. "Nice backpack, Young Jedi." He snickered, his voice as condescending as he could make it out to be when addressing a really cool backpack.

You paused your game with a swiftness, swiveling around to look at him, not an ounce of offense on your face. Without a beat, your deadbeat expression bounced back.

"Nice bowl cut, loser.”

Needless to say, Mark didn’t make the cut for just some dude. He would be staying a talkative and giggly nerd for a while, he was sure of that fact about himself. He knew that was him. It was okay, though, because he didn’t want friends who he couldn't be himself around. After that whole facade, he knew he wasn’t the nonchalant cool guy he tried to resonate with.

He also knew that after a thorough and heavy apology his friend Taeyong had made him give you, he had just met someone who he resonated with a lot more.

He knew he was your new friend.

(To which you only agreed because of his Captain America themed backpack. Besides, your jab at his bowl cut that truly was awful made it even.)

A year later, he was certain that you were his best friend. Maybe it was a bit selfish that he had so many best friends, you including his flock of seven other boys who had just become stuck to each other.

But…there was something different about you. Like you were his ultra best friend, if thats a thing. After the initial awkwardness of your first meeting, the friendship only soared. Helping each other with homework, rewatching ‘Star Wars: Revenge of The Sith’ for the 30th time, fangirling over Tony Stark and the avengers. He never thought he would meet a girl that understood him so well, and in turn who he understood, too.

Until the 7th grade, he couldn’t quite place what it was that was so different. You were integrated into his group of friends, he didn’t treat you any differently and you didn’t with him. Yet, for some reason, he was happier when you were around, and even happier when it was only the two of you.

His heart was a mixture of things every time he made a joke and you laughed because of him. It had also dawned on him that even if you and him had your many similarities, you were still more reserved and cautious when it came to other people. Despite that, you seemed comfortable around him, enough to confide in him and share whatever you wanted to.

So, when you confided in him tearfully that the boy you had wanted to attend the spring formal with was going with another girl, as your best friend he decided to step in and take you himself to cheer you up.

Seeing you a bit happier at the outcome of that night, wearing a navy blue dress he remembers oh so vividly as the colorful lights seemed to be illuminating your smile, his heart sank to his stomach. That was when it had hit him what had been so different about you.

Mark knew that he liked you. He liked you terribly.

He knew he liked you as he danced with you, his hands tenaciously at your shoulders as you thanked him with a smile for not letting you come alone. He knew he liked ever since you started to feel ‘different’ in the best way possible, and he knew he would keep liking you for a long, long time.

And that is exactly what he did.

Middle school passed by in a flash, and he never liked you any less. In fact it was impossible to not like you more. You, who was always on his side through all his phases, who brought an extra sandwich from home to share with him at lunch, who gifted him the missing star wars comic in his collection for his birthday, who defended him against all the snickers and teases of the rest of the friend group, who was the cutest girl he would ever be blessed to see, who joined the academic decathlon in highschool so he wouldn’t be alone. How could he not crush on you harder?

Just because he liked you so much, didn’t mean that he rushed to act on it. Quite honestly, when he first realized all these feelings were heavy to hold and the only way to let go of them was to confess, he had a nervous breakdown. What would he even say? What would you say? How would he even explain this to you? You were always so headstrong and focused, would a measly schoolboy crush even appeal to you? Was this the end of the world?

Once he calmed down, however, he realized that there was no rush to explain the feelings he himself couldn’t even muster to say aloud. All that mattered is that you were in his life, and he was in yours. And he was pretty damn content with that. Maybe in the future, if he still felt so much and he had gotten much more confident, he’ll be able to tell you. At the moment, 15-year-old and sophomore in highschool Mark had no rush at all.

And then, he was bit by a spider.

Of course, it wasn’t a normal spider. Because god forbid anything ever be normal in Mark’s life. One morning, he woke up with body muscle his lanky limbs did not have when he went to sleep and a strength that broke his desk bunk bed in half. If it wasn’t obvious something was off, his glasses stuck on his hand for the better part of an hour sure confirmed it.

Yup, Mark knew it. He had turned into some sort of a Spiderman.

At least, that’s what he called it. It’s what he decided to go by when a very confused passerby asked him who he was as Mark saved his bike from a thief. A quick sew of some blue and red fabric with a poorly stitched on symbol, and he was putting these powers to test.

He had a good run making a name for himself on Youtube under this ‘Spiderman’ pseudonym. It was a blissful first few months, figuring out the basics of his powers, slamming into the wall maybe only a handful of times, fighting neighborhood crime in a heroic way that he used to only be able to gawk at the avengers doing.

However, ignorance is bliss. Mark couldn’t possibly be ignorant to the way that he was making enemies who didn’t like the interference with their crimes all over queens, and fast. He especially couldn’t ignore it when a particular petty group of criminals had hit rookie Spiderman with everything they had, and the bliss ended as he limped away his first gruesome fight he had managed to win with his life.

As he dragged his way across the city, whimpering and crying as the universe decided to make his first terrible day on the job even worse with rain, he was aware of how roughed up he was, he needed help.

He couldn’t just go to his Aunt and tell her her 15 year old nephew had been putting his life in danger for the last few months. He couldn’t go to the hospital and risk exposing the identity he tried so hard to protect. He certainly couldn’t let his rowdy friends know by showing up to Taeyong’s apartment.

So he found himself barely making it up to your fire escape, knocking with the last bit of strength he had to get your attention from your Calculus homework to his figure in the window. He was limp and a mess of “i’m sorry”’s and “i don’t know where to go”’s as you pulled him in, speechless at the sight in front of you.

You didn’t get angry, you weren’t annoyed, you didn’t ask him a million questions. You only bandaged his wounds, and offered open arms as he cried and cried until he couldn’t anymore.

As Spiderman Mark gripped your hoodie, his tears staining it with salt, he knew he felt safe. God, he always did with you.

He knew that he loved you. Because honestly, wasn’t it impossible not to?

The revelation that he was in love with you didn’t come with much shock, if he asked 6th grade Mark if he knew this day would come, the answer would without any doubt be a yes.

It did come at a turning point in his life, however. He met Tony Stark, got suited up with Stark Industry gear that made every nerd crevice in his mind vibrate, fought with the avengers, nearly joined the avengers, accidentally revealed himself to his aunt, and then his other 7 friends, fought against avenger-level-threat villains, and quickly rose as one of the most famous heroes around.

Throughout everything, he never loved you any less. And even through his trials and tribulations as he settled in this neighborhood Spiderman identity, you never strayed from being his best friend. He didn’t need anything else to feel like the luckiest man in the world.

Except, maybe an answer to the dying question he wanted to know for years and years. Was he just your best friend? Or has he always been something more? On the few times you’ve told him something along the lines of, ‘I will never care about anyone like I do about you, Mark’, (And no, he actually didn’t memorize that one word for word) Did it also mean what he has always meant, or was he just dear to you in the friendliest way possible?

Although Mark was older, 18 years old and graduating from highschool, he still had that same mindset he had as an angsty new teenager. His feelings for you only weighed more and more in tons and tons over the years, especially since he was able to name it as love. Yet, he found it hard to explain why he still hadn’t felt any rush to act on them.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, even if anyone who would hear his logic might think it was. As he watched you say goodbye to peers and friends at graduation from a distance, happiest as ever in your cap and gown as you were set to attend MIT with him in the fall, he knew it wasn’t because he didn’t want to. He dreamt of it some nights, actually. He hadn’t known you his whole life, but for some reason, it felt like you were always there. When he had that stupid bowl cut, when he tried out for the soccer team and made a fool of himself, when he got his first B on an english paper, when he got bit by that spider and bit off more than he could chew, when he was applying for college and decided to major in computer science and engineering, you were there.

As you pranced back to him as you finished saying your farewells, he couldn’t help but think it would always be this way. You had him, and he had you. The night you both graduated, you both sat on a rooftop, staring at queens under you as you shared a pizza. Naturally, it felt like you would always be there. You were just natural.

Despite that, It had been nearly seven years since he first met you. Nearly seven years since he told himself he would confess when the time was right, when he was more confident and hopefully a little bigger.

He was definitely taller, and involuntarily grew some muscle. Luckily, his hair hadn’t seen the after effects of a bowl cut in years. His voice didn’t squeak when he talked to you or any girl for that matter, and he liked to think he was 10% less of a nerd. At least, enough to be charming when it counted.

So as you both left highschool for your first year at NYU, he decided he checked a sufficient amount of boxes to go for it. However, it was clearly going to be harder said than done. Just seeing you the night after he made up his mind that the time has finally come, his forehead was slick with nervous sweat and somehow he walked right into a pole. Your questioning about why his ‘Mark tingle’ hadn’t worked–which is what you had named his 6th spider-sense–didn’t help not one bit.

Truth is, it was terrifying. He didn’t know why. He had fought against intergalactic villains and catched runaway trains with his bare hands. Yet a simple ‘I’m madly in love with you’ was too much for him to handle.

Mark composed himself, running it through his mind during every late night patrol. He was going to do it, and soon. First, he had to get over the initial fear. After that, love sparks would fly.

Soon turned into weeks later, then months, and then an entire year. Before Mark could blink, it was the 2nd year of university and the ‘initial’ fear seemed to be a perpetual one.

In his defense, the first year of college was very busy. The both of you were buried in the books, biochemical and computer science engineering not being easy majors, and of course trying to maintain extracurriculars. Mark with his Stark Industries internship, that both was still a pseudonym for Spiderman duties, and this time around an actual internship he had begged Mr. Stark for. You, with the school's Debate team and interning wherever it counted and wherever paid.

Mark would be a liar if he said there was absolutely no time, though. A plus to the both of you being the unassuming and socially awkward nerds all throughout the years meant that you didn’t peak in highschool. University could be a time to blossom, be more social, enjoy the journey a little more, maybe attend a party or two.

Watching you in this beaming light as you entered a new chapter of your life, an enigma shining more than ever, it only intimidated Mark even more. Which is why his after-graduation-confession plans had stretched out a whole year later.

Mark never felt like he was losing you, though. Losing his mind? Most definitely, but not you. You were closer than ever, Mark was content.

Telling himself that he had you on his side through everything, and he would continue to have just that is what helped him sleep at night. He would stop being a coward eventually, and just like the movies, the sun would shine a halo around you, his eyes would meet yours, and he could finally confess. Time, there was lots of it, right?

Wrong. Again, it seemed like Mark’s reality was always perpetually shifting or going the opposite direction that he was aiming for.

Today, he found himself standing outside of one of the many NYU buildings, waiting for your cell biology class to be done with. It had become a habit to him to make sure you got back to your apartment safely after classes that ran into the evening, claiming that as the resident neighborhood spiderman, it was his duty to escort you. Even though in reality, you were capable of getting around just fine, and this was just another excuse for Mark to spend even more time with you.

He was wiping down his glasses when he heard the door open and you walked out, tired out from a full day of classes. He wasted no time putting on his glasses back on, making sure he caught every bit of you. Mark always thought you looked best like this, hair down and tousled in comfy clothes, today a cardigan and some baggy jeans, the night making your features even softer.

You smiled despite your weariness, waving at him, and Mark smiled right back. “Hi, Mark.” you said, walking up to him as you clutched onto your bag.

Mark reached for it, slinging it over his shoulders, the heaviness of textbooks and all your other supplies being nothing to him. “Y/n! How was your day?” He asked enthusiastically.

You stared at him with those eyes you get, sighing as you looked down. “It was alright…I got assigned two group projects, though. I mean, two, seriously? In the first month of school?” You complained and talked with your hands like you always did when you were angry, as you both started walking, Mark listening to every word.

Mark inhaled sharply, making a face at the thought. “Yikes. Two on the same day is some luck. My operating systems professor said we would have a group project soon as well, but at least we get to choose our partners.”

You pouted up at him, finding your situation unfair. “We can’t even have that luxury. I don’t know any of the people I was assigned with.” You complained with a frustrated sigh.

Mark sympathized with you, knowing how unfortunate that must be, but when you looked so expressive and adorable as you complained, it was hard for his heart to stay still in its cage. “That really does sound like it sucks. I hope they aren’t rude or some slackers.”

You shook your head looking off at the city in front of you, when all Mark could do was look at you. “I don’t think they will be too bad. The group project for cell bio, I got this one guy…Xiaojun, I think, for a partner. He seems like he’ll be a big help.”

Mark’s head tilted, his glasses tilting in the process. “Mm, really? How so?”

You looked at Mark with a pursed smile, shrugging at the recollection. “He’s very receptive, first to offer to help with research. Gave me his number so I could call him ‘if anything’, so I gave him mine as well. He’s nice, a little too nice maybe, but nice.”

Mark felt an uncomfortable lump in his throat, he hadn’t heard of you and any other guy in ages. He didn’t want to. As he took in what you had said, recognizing the name of a pretty well-known school heartthrob, exchanging numbers with him, and even the whispered fact of him being too nice, he didn’t like it. Not one bit. Surely it couldn’t be that this Xiaojun was…taking an interest in you?

Mark had to make sure as he forced down the lump that prevented him from speaking. “Ah…so sounds like…he’s flirting with you.”

You both came to a stop at an intersection. You pondered your words as Mark stared at you, reading your every visible thought. “It seems like it. He’s a nice guy but I'm not interested if that is the case…because…” You said, your words trailing off as you looked at Mark with a distant look in your eye and shrugged after a moment. “I guess, I don’t have a reason to not be interested. Should at least hear the guy out, I suppose.”

Mark’s heart sank to the floor in record speeds. And he’s jumped off of buildings. As the light turned from the orange hand to the walking man, he stalled a few seconds, shaking off this new dread as he jogged a little to match your pace. “H-hear him out? So you…you like him?”

You giggled a bit, shaking your head with a smile. “I didn’t say that. I just met the guy. All I’m saying is I’ve always said no, no, no, and no. Maybe it’s time to move…Uh, I mean, to stop saying no so quickly.”

All Mark could process in that sentence is that there were others that you had to say no to. As he looked down at the sidewalk he was strolling on, his world view seemed to crack a bit. He had always known how amazing you were. Your eyes an ocean he wanted to sail. Your hair framing you in the most flattering way. Your sarcasm and humor that brightens his day. Your drive. Your kindness. Your intelligence. Your generosity. Should he keep going? He could, he could spend days listing everything that was right in you. It had just never dawned on him that other hormonal and sappy guys like him could do the same and act on it. Worse, that you could entertain it.

“As in…look for someone?” Mark asked, his voice sounding pathetic beyond his control.

You sighed, staring off at the distance, not wanting to look at him. “I don’t know…it’s just…something I've been thinking about. It feels like I'm overdue to try my hand at this whole love thing…”

Overdue. Overdue. Is that really how you felt? Mark supposes you have both gone your whole lives without dating someone. At this point in your lives, that can be considered a while. Mark had never felt like he was lacking in that category, love, because he had so much of it for you. You didn’t know that, though, and now you felt overdue.

Mark’s palms were sweaty as he gripped the straps of both of your bags. “There’s…no rush, though, right...?” He questioned, trying to preach his own stupid, stupid anthem.

You nodded, a bit solemnly if he had to add, looking up at him with a strange mix of a smile and pout. “You’re right. No rush.”

Mark sighed a breath of relief. A relief that didn’t last long as you spoke up again. “But there’s also no reason to push it away anymore.”

Mark had so many questions, such as why were you set on ‘pushing it away’ until now, where the hell did this Xiaojun come from, how it can be possible that a certainty he awoke with this morning can crumble a mere few hours later, and how he could possible be so stupid, stupid, stupid, cowardly, and naive?

Mark inhaled a sharp breath, trying to stabilize himself. He wanted to freak out, he wanted so badly to bring the both of you to a halt and grab your hands, begging for you to not even think about this. However, that would also be stupid, and if he showed that he was anything short of understanding during this conversation, you would never share anything like this with him again. Then, he would be completely in the dark about your apparently beginning love life.

“If…that’s what you want.”

Stupid. Idiot. Buffon.

There it was again, that forced smile that Mark was too busy internally panicking to notice himself. “He hasn’t even said anything that confirms the suspicion. But…I’ll see. I’ll figure out what it is that I want.”

Mark nodded, trying to play it cool as his fingernails dug into his palm. He didn’t even notice that you had arrived at the train station, standing in front of the train that took you home.

You looked up at him, smiling softly as you reached up to flick hair out of his face. It didn’t help the melting pot that was his current emotions. “You texted early that you wanted to get an early patrol. You should go get ready. I’ll be okay from here.”

Mark normally would have shaken his head no immediately, insisting that he take you all the way to your front door. Today however, he felt as if the longer he spent around you, the closer he was to losing it. “You sure? I really don’t mind-” is all he managed to say as you cut him off.

“Positive. I can join you on comms later tonight. Gotta get some homework done first.” You said, looking back as the train started to pull into a stop. “You go get ready. And eat something or you’ll be off your game. Last time you went out hungry you nearly crashed in an office window.”

Mark chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck, thinking to himself that of course only you could make him laugh and make him want to yell in such a short span. “Aye-aye captain, I’ll do that. You better go before the train leaves.”

You nodded, taking back your bag from him and waving. “I’ll come to yours tomorrow. We have o-chem in the morning. We can swing there?”

Mark smiled, as best as he could by this point, nodding. “Yeah, we’ll swing there. Text me when you’re home.”

You shot a thumbs up as the train doors opened and you rushed to get in. “I will, bye Mark! Careful!”

His heart warmed, you had always told him to be careful, no matter the hundreds and hundreds of times he must have gone out now. It wasn’t enough to make him unball his fists though. “Bye, Y/n.” He said back, missing its added sense of joy.

He watched as you walked in, taking a seat and looking back at him once. He didn’t even have the guts to stand there and watch you leave, looking back twice before he was sprinting up the subway stairs and running down the street.

The slight chill in the night felt even colder as he ran, wind blowing smack in his face, but he kept running until he found an alleyway, running deep into it until he was out of sight, away from any pedestrian eyes. The cuff Mr. Stark had given him came in handy at times like these, when all he wanted to do was be suited up as soon as he could, His heart wouldn’t stop racing as the press of a button had him in his full spider-suit. He tightened his backpack onto himself, and he was off, shooting himself up in the air, and running across a ledge before throwing himself off.

He didn’t even react as he reached closer to the ground than normal, shooting a web to divert his fall just in time. Even when he was swinging way too fast, weaving through buildings and poles and cars. All he could think about you and your words. When he woke up in the morning, he thought he had time, lots of it. Now as dusk falls over and the cars underneath him couldn’t be as loud as his thoughts, he finds out he doesn’t. Or perhaps he did, and now it had run out on him.

. 　˚ ✭　 * ✦　. ‧₊˚🕷‧₊˚　.　✦　˚ .˚　 ✭　.

“So, the last thing I said was, ‘I’ll figure out what it is that I want,’ and then we got to the train station.” You finished explaining to your roommate, Yunjin, as she sat on the opposite side of the couch.

You had only met Yunjin last year, but she already felt like one of your best friends you had ever made because of how easy it was to tell her all of your problems. Of course, you already had one of those, Mark Lee, who had been wreaking havoc in your life since you had first caused him to become the laughingstock of the popular kids back in 6th grade. But you couldn’t tell him absolutely all of your problems. Especially the biggest one, that you had always had a strange sense of infatuation for him that you expected to go away, yet here you were.

If you had to pinpoint when it began, you would say when he knocked on your window sophomore year of high school, bloodied and in the famous original spiderman costume. Mark had always been loveable, long before he got bit by that spider. It was what you liked most about him, his ability to always see the positive, to always somehow wear a smile and a laugh. In someone like that, it takes the utmost trust for them to allow the most vulnerable parts of themselves to be seen.

So, it wasn’t the suit that made you realize what you had felt. Even if you had been a major Spiderman fan and the revelation was only a little life changing, that was the last thing on your mind. He was hurt, he was scared, and he needed someone, and his first thought was you.

You thought it was a fluke, feeling so much for someone so unexpected. Surely, it was bound to go away. Yet, it didn’t. The feeling was nagging and adamant, just like Mark, and refused to let go.

After some time, you came to terms with the fact that nothing about it was unexpected at all. Since you met Mark, you spent every waking moment with him. Going to your first hero convention, building the Lego death star you got for your birthday, the school trip to Venice, middle school dances, high school dances, all of it was Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark. Every memory, the good and bad, that held a special place in your heart had Mark. How was he not to become special as well?

You thought about coming straight out with it, hoping to get closure or acceptance or anything that would help maim the feeling of overflowing love. However, Mark wasn’t just Mark anymore, he was Spiderman. While the latter didn’t matter much to you, it had become a part of who he was. With his great powers, came great responsibility. Not just that, but it seemed like him almost dying every other weekend had become his new reality. While it was stressful watching Mark go through all of that, even as you became his girl-in-the-chair of sorts to help him on patrols, you couldn’t imagine how stressful it was for Mark for himself. It felt unfair to throw a confession on top of everything he already had to deal with.

So, you decided if anything were to happen between you two, Mark would have to initiate it.

While you may have kept it better under wraps, Mark always wore his emotions on his sleeves. It would take an outstanding idiot to not notice the way he acted around you. The way his ears go pink before his cheeks do, the way on occasion he’ll forget to respond as he stares in a trance, or he’ll fumble with whatever object he has in his hand. Mark had always had those awkward, loser-ish tendencies, but it was undeniable at how they seemed to be at their worst whenever you were around.

He had to have at least entertained the idea. So, therefore it was just a waiting game. When Spiderman was ready to take that leap, so were you.

You waited, and waited, waited, and waited, and waited some more. Suddenly, the second year of university came, and you were still waiting.

Honestly, it had brought you down that no moves were made as you graduated high school. Needless to say, that the fact he was still radio silent when entering university only made you more discouraged and had you wondering if your premonition was wrong after all.

Your new roommate turned friend, however, was quick to catch onto your gloominess, and almost immediately connected the dots that it was about Mark.

Since you caught her up on everything she needed to know, while of course keeping Mark’s secret locked away, she had become a trusted person to confide in. As opposed to your clear inexperience, Yunjin had more experience on her love life resume, and was always at bay with advice.

Her recent advice being something that she believed would speed up the process, to display your availability, and to flaunt that you were planning on using it. In whatever form that may be.

So, when Xiaojun exchanged numbers with you, (and in your defense, was indeed being a little too friendly) it was the perfect opportunity to test the theory.

That is how you found yourself here, playing the conversation back and forth amongst each other to try and decipher if it worked.

Yunjin groaned, hand coming down to smack the pillow in her lap. “‘I’ll figure out what it is that I want.’ You guys are impossible. It is crystal clear what you both want.” She said with a shake of her head. “Is that really all he said? ‘If that’s what you want?’ How did he…I don’t know, was he panicky or shaky or anything?”

You thought about it with a sigh, shrugging. “I mean, I guess he was a little. At the stop walk he…almost forgot to move? But he had just come from that Stark internship, he’s always like that after it. Like a deer in headlights.”

Yunjin sighed as well, biting her bottom lip in thought. “Okay, this is good. This is a good start. We’ll just have to ramp up the Xiaojun thing and eventually, he’ll be forced to crack.”

You smiled, a little bittersweetly, your hands clenched together. “I hope it plays out like that…otherwise all this for nothing.”

Yunjin could read you like a book, a superpower of hers Mark didn’t always have, ironically. “Not for nothing. You know, you could always say something.”

You looked up at her with a knowing look, shaking your head with a sigh. “You know I can’t. He’s got too much to deal with, he’s literally sp…super busy. With school and the stark internship. I just can’t.”

Yunjin nodded as she stood up, taking the memo not to pry any further. “Alright, I hope this works then, for the sake of you both.” She said as she grabbed your face in her hands jokingly. “Seriously. I’m sick of looking at it.”

You swatted her hand away, chuckling. You hoped it worked too. With your whole being.

. 　˚ ✭　 * ✦　. ‧₊˚🕷‧₊˚　.　✦　˚ .˚　 ✭　.

Mark landed on the roof of his apartment that night exhausted from a full day of work followed by an evening patrol. Crime was quiet lately, with his biggest cases today being a measly shoplifter and a cat stuck in a tree. The type of quiet that came before a storm. Mark had too much on his mind to think about that, however. All of which involves you.

He deactivated his suit and found himself back in regular clothes, waltzing his way down the rooftop access stairs, all the way to his apartment on the 6th floor.

He came in fidgety and anything but calm, seemingly too pumped with adrenaline and emotion to be as tired as he usually is after days like this.

Mark had the opportunity to be roommates with two of his friends, Johnny and Doyoung. Luckily for him and unluckily for his friend, Johnny was sitting on the couch, a gaming controller in his hands as he looked up to see the ball of nervousness make its way into the once mellow apartment. “Hey, Mark.” Johnny greeted, not talking his eyes off the TV. “You wanna play overwatch? Doyoung’s out for the night.”

Mark could barely register the question, his backpack slamming on the kitchen table as he plopped down on the couch next to Johnny. “What? No, no. I’m good, don’t wanna play. I have to talk to you, though.”

Johnny sighed, not taking his eyes off the screen. If his hands weren’t so busy, he’d probably grab his head too. The subject was painfully obvious. “What’s up?”

Mark sat back, looking at the ceiling. “Y/n. I messed up. So bad, dude.”

Johnny nodded, trying to feign surprise. “I see. How is she by the way? I haven’t seen her in a while.”

Mark ran his hand through his hair, shooting the back of Johnny’s head a look at the inappropriate question during his time of stress. “She’s fine, dude. She told me something today.” Mark said, taking a deep breath to begin his rant. “You know, I told you…I’m confessing soon. Or I’m planning to. When I work up to it. I thought…shit. I’m so stupid. I thought she’d wait for me. She doesn’t even know, but I thought she’d wait. Apparently, there’s this dumb guy she has a group project with. Xiaojun, that’s his name. He’s flirting with her, I’m assuming. They exchanged numbers and everything.”

Johnny listened with his eyes a little narrowed, nodding in understanding. “Ah. I know that guy. He’s pretty cool.”

The look on Mark’s face couldn’t be described as anything less than offended. “He is arguably not. I mean…I know people must try to hit on her and stuff, but she was like…all cryptic. Saying things like ‘maybe it’s time to not say no so quickly’ and ‘I’m overdue at this love thing.’ She says she doesn’t like him but…she’s…she’s looking to date right? It’s gotta mean that.”

Johnny raised his eyebrows, fighting the urge to keep playing his game or turn and start shaking Mark by his shoulders. “Listen, Mark. Y/n’s a nice girl, full package, great person, gorgeous as well, and a single college student. Dating is kinda what you do. Especially with someone like Xiaojun.”

Mark’s world couldn’t crumble any faster. If only Doyoung was there instead, he at least would have broken the news a little nicer. “Oh, God. Shit. What…what do I do? She’s gonna start...dating.” He muttered with his hands on his face, glasses pushing up to his head.

Johnny stifled a groan. “Mark, you do what you should’ve done years ago. You just tell her, man.”

Mark didn’t like that answer. Of course, it was the only one that made sense, but he was hoping that someone would have some sort of miracle solution. “You say that like it’s easy.”

“Shouldn’t it be though?” Johnny retorted. “I mean, you’ve known this girl nearly half of your life. She cares about you a lot. You see it, I see it, we all see it. A confession isn’t going to break a bond like this, it can’t. You’ve got to know by now that what you’ve got is stronger than that.”

In the eyes of Mark, what Johnny said went against what every imagined worst-case scenario told him, even if logically it had made sense. You weren’t the type of person to cause a grand thing or make Mark feel bad about something so small. That was inherently the problem, however. Nothing about this was small. Small is the last word he would use to describe how he feels about you. You wouldn’t consider small something that could fill every ocean on earth's surface and then some. “How do I even tell her? I can’t just say ‘I’m in love with you.’” Mark argued, his voice sounding more and more pathetic.

Johnny used a brief moment to shoot a look at Mark, his eyes going back to the TV as he finally put his controller down and completely discarded the match he was in, leaning on his knees. “At this point, that’s exactly what you say. Your problem is that you’re trying to make it too grand, too perfect. Y/n has never been the type to be a stickler for that. It doesn’t matter how you do it, it won’t affect the outcome. If the feelings are there, which if you ask me, I think they are, then they’re there. Plain and simple.”

Mark felt a lot of things, but at that moment defeat was most prominent. He had been imagining for years how he would confess to you. In one fantasy he would buy a billboard in Times Square and take you to see it, or perhaps he would learn the guitar and write you a song. He could make his own advent calendar, buy you a present everyday each specifically curated to your wants, and on the final day, a beautiful piece of jewelry. You deserved nothing short of perfect, but now he had to ask himself if that was really what you would want, or if he’s trying to pull every string he can for it to work in his favor.

“So, what do I do…?” Mark said quietly, running his hand through dark hair.

“I just told you. Just tell her. Write her a poem, take her to dinner, or just straight up come out with it. Just tell her, as soon as you can, before it’s too late.” Johnny said, a supportive hand patting Mark’s back. “No more waiting. You’ve run out of time. I’ve told you this before, but I promise you it’ll turn out fine.”

It had been a wild afternoon filled with many unwanted revelations and a nasty swirl of emotions, but the quick conversation had brought Mark to the eye of the storm. He was backed into a corner, with only one way out, and that realization had finally dawned on him. “You’re…you’re right. I have to…as soon as I can.”

Johnny ruffled Mark’s hair, reaching for his controller. “That’s the spirit. You wanna play Overwatch now?”

Mark shot up and grabbed his bag from the table. “Nah, I’ll pass. I’m beat. I’ll probably just go to sleep, honestly.”

Johnny nodded as he returned his focus back to the TV. “Night, then. Don’t stare at your ceiling all night.”

Mark scoffed as he called from the hallway. “Wasn’t gonna do that. And goodnight!”

He didn’t stare at his ceiling, but he did stare at his desk and lined paper almost all night. Johnny’s first idea of writing a poem was thrown out there randomly, but Mark didn’t think it was half bad. It was a short read on your end, and easy to get the point across without Mark having to do much talking. So, he wrote away, trying various different styles. From haikus to Shakespearean sonnets, to a ballad, each one frustrating him more and more. He even tried to make his usually sloppy writing neater than usual with cursive.

In his last attempt, he decided to ditch all rules of quatrains, lines, and rhyme schemes and instead write whatever he was feeling in a free verse poem. Finally, he felt the poem was right. Enough to say what he needed yet not including the words he needed to tell you himself. With a sigh, he laid out the poem neatly on his desk, ridding all evidence of his struggle the past hour by clearing off all pens and discarding all crumbled up sheets of paper in a trash can.

Mark found himself staring at it over with pride. Was it cheesy? Yeah. Was Mark a hopeless romantic? Certainly. That is just who Mark is, he knows that. After all these years spent with him, surely you know that too by now.

He was drained by this point, his eye lids that have felt stretched open the past few hours feeling too heavy for him to fight against them. Finally, he flopped on his bed, being able to close his eyes and drift to sleep, with plans to give you the poem laid on his desk the next time he saw you.

. 　˚ ✭　 * ✦　. ‧₊˚🕷‧₊˚　.　✦　˚ .˚　 ✭　.

Mark didn’t process that he would be seeing you much sooner than he expected. Soon being the next morning that you had set to head to class together. How could he when he was so out of it? He hadn’t felt as physically and emotionally tired as he did yesterday in a while, which consequently probably caused him to sleep through his alarm the next morning.

So, he slept like a boulder, missing all of your incoming calls and texts saying that you were headed to him, blissfully unaware of the poem laid out on his desk.

Mark still slept like a baby as you arrived at his apartment, and of course Doyoung had let you in without hesitation. It was completely out of his control as you made your way to his room on a mission to wake him up. Mark stirred awake, slowly and whiny, as you shook his shoulder, your voice quiet yet enough to wake him up gently. “Mark…you overslept. Get up now, so we won’t be late.”

Mark groaned, rubbing his eyes as you stepped away from him, your job complete. In Mark’s freshly awoken state, he didn’t see what the problem was as you browsed around his room while he gained consciousness, eventually pulling his desk chair out to sit at. Sitting down, your curious eyes landed on the only thing that was laid out, his poem. Well, your poem.

He sat up, his hands still attacking his eyes, trying to rub the sleep away, and you were already well into reading it. Your face was a scramble of feelings that only grew in perplexion as you read every last word, and even getting the chance to read it twice before Mark realized. After a particularly effective yawn and stretch, his eyes landed on you with your eyes set on the paper. Only then did Mark shoot up on his feet, his limbs stumbling as he decided if he should play it cool or snatch the paper from your hands, his only thought being, “please tell me she didn’t read it, please tell me she didn’t read it, please tell me she didn’t read it, please tell me she didn’t read it.”

At Mark’s not very subtle reaction, you put the paper down, looking up at Mark from the chair. “That’s…” Is all you managed to say, not being able to choose between the words intense, beautiful, star striking, devoted, or out of place in Mark’s room. So instead, you stayed speechless for a moment, another feeling the poem invoked as you studied his every move. “Did you write that…? For who? Your writing looks different-”

In a split second, Mark was torn between answering your question with a “yes” and several “you, you, you, you, it’s all about you, only about you," ’s which is what he should have done, or lying his head off.

The image in his mind of you sat in front of him, seeking answers to your questions, looking at Mark like you were searching for something, it seemed to move in slow motion. This was the plan, was it not? He would hand you the poem, and then he would just admit it was about you. You were more than smart enough to piece together what that implied.

As he cut you off, he hoped that was what came out, a mere couple of words that would be all he needed to say in the moment. However, when has anything ever gone his way?

“I didn’t write it!”

Mark said a little too desperately, wishing he could exit this sack of meat and bones and punch it across the face. “Not my writing. Too neat. I uh…I found it…on my desk! In my coding class! Must be some kind of secret admirer, I think.” He exclaimed, watching as your face went from something that he couldn’t tell was hope to neutrality, drinking in his lie as fast as he had come up with it.

“Oh…well, that’s…wow. They must really like you,” you pondered as your eyes grazed over the paper.

Somehow, the poem that he had poured his heart into for you, had turned into the sign of affection that a made up secret admirer had written for Mark. If you weren’t right in front of him, he’d fall to his knees, grabbing his head in his hands as his first confession attempt results in a failure down the drain. “Yeah…I guess so…”

Turns out, confessing right away was going to be much harder than he imagined.

. 　˚ ✭　 * ✦　. ‧₊˚🕷‧₊˚　.　✦　˚ .˚　 ✭　.

chap. 2

chap. 3

#mark lee #mark lee x reader #nct 127 #nct dream #nct x reader #nct 127 x reader #mark lee fluff #mark lee smut #spidermark #fanfiction #spidermark x reader

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cheshitora · 3 months ago

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I haven't seen this on your Kazutora tag (yes, I went through it) but what's your take on Kazutora as a boyfriend? I feel like he's a little nervous about it at first but I know he'd be a good one

IVE BEEN PUSHING THIS OFF BUT I SWEAR I SAW YOUR ASK 😭 ive been busy these past few days but here i am. you're absolutely right though. i haven't made a post like this and that surprises me bcuz i love my baby boy sm (not you checking out my tag lol. its mostly just reblogs tbh). and since i'm a bit stumped in my fic rn, i'll go ahead and do this

KAZUTORA AS YOUR BOYFRIEND ┊ ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

where do i even begin to start? (this will be the good tl btw)

╰┈➤ ❝ i will say this - one thing about kazutora that i think is pretty unanimous is his possessiveness over you. not in an overbearing way, but he has to cling onto you almost. given the circumstances in which he grew up in, understand that kazutora is looking for someone to love him. he craves love because he lacks it from his own family. so if he falls, he falls hard, especially if you're good to him. ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ so when he falls, he's going to shower you with affection in any way he can (i don't care what ken wakui says, he'll be such a good boyfriend). it is going to take some time for him to adjust having you as a partner. he's going to have his doubts about your love for him. he's going to wonder if you're serious about him. the last thing he needs/wants is to be manipulated by someone he's pouring his heart out to.❞

╰┈➤ ❝ once the fear and doubts settle over, that's when you'll notice a change in the way he acts (not in a bad way). you start to see the goofy, almost wreckless side of him. you become his main source of happiness. he spends A LOT of time at your place. eventually, he begins leaving some of his clothes there (or maybe you start stealing his hoodies. don't take his printed shirts). ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ one of my favorite things about kazutora being your boyfriend is that he's kind of a loser. let's face it - he is. man has no game so he really wonders how he pulled someone like you. but in the sweetest way possible, he's a loser virgin. he's not a smooth talker nor is he a player in anyway. he wears printed shirts - that's the most loser thing about him. but it doesn't matter because you love your loser boyfriend. don't ever worry about him cheating (he has no hoes and the thought alone makes him gag) ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ he's very handsy. he LOVES to kiss you, anywhere. it also does not take much for him to get turned on, even if the gesture is so small (he's the type to get hard if a waitress calls him "honey". lol im just kidding. or am i?) i don't think he's super prone to pda, but his possessive ass will probably (definitely) kiss you or pull you into his chest if someone looks at you too long. he loves to hold your hand though and if you try to slip your hand away, he'll pull it right back and keep a tight grip on you. ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ going back to his possessive nature, it almost borderlines obsession. no, he doesn't like it if some other person stares at you for too long. yes, you can wear whatever you want because he can fight ( just don't let him fight because he'll try to kill them). if you've been together for a decent amount of time, expect his possessiveness to increase while you're together. ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ he loves to take you out on his bike. he's very careful with you at first, making sure you're comfortable and going at a reasonable speed. but once you've been dating for a while, he has no sense of caution. crazy kids. and he takes you everywhere you wanna go on his bike. the back of his bike is your third favorite seat (the first is his face. second is his lap). ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ he's very attentive to your needs and likes. he pays attention to everything even when you think he's not. can he be clueless sometimes? absolutely. but when you're really passionate about something, he makes a clear mental note in his head so he won't forget and if he does, he almost crashes out. ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ once you start living together, he takes even better care of you (he'd rather you not work though so you don't stress out but you always fight him that you need to pull your half too). but coming home to him after a long day is best sight to see. he likes to give you massage and he'll try to cook for you too. he'll even run you a bath (he just loves you so much). ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ he'll never pressure you into getting married or having kids (partially because his own parents' marriage left him traumatized and wondering if marriage was worth it). but you're also still working out your futures and careers. you'll get married when the time is right, when you're both ready. if it happens, it happens. i will say this too - he loves it if you refer to him as your husband (somewhere in TR, kazutora just got very hard). marriage may not be on the table yet bur oh, just the thought of claiming you as his wife has him whimpering for you. ❞

a note from che : oof. i'm not sure if this was what you wanted or expected (i havent sleep well in three days im abt to pass out) but i hope you like these hcs anyway. i love tora with my whole life. my husband, my man. he's my everything so i'll probably make a pt.2 to this bcuz i have a lot more to say abt him.

#kazutora my bby where art thou :(#tora.fm ♡#kazutora hanemiya #kazutora hanemiya x reader #kazutora x reader #tokyo revengers kazutora #tokrev kazutora #kazutora x you #kazutora x y/n #kazutora headcanons #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x y/n #che's headcanons 💣

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127tko · 6 months ago

Text

art dump bc this account has kinda just been sitting here and I don’t think each of them individually deserve their own posts tbhh :}

They’ll be sectioned and labeled for easy viewing and comprehension. All transformers content!!

…and I’m deeply sorry if the formatting ends up being hard to scroll through anyways im not quite versed in anything related to tumblr, this is my third post ever orz

First ever Optimus and Bee human designs I ever did (made after my first time watching TFPrime episodes 1 through like 9 with my friend)

Doodle ft the first ever (and I’m pretty sure only) Megatron concept

A small redesign after I made it farther into the series (around like the middle of season 2)

First ever Breakdown and Knockout!! They make me sick (it’s a mess I know - in my head Breakdown has just a giant braid it is very important to me. Think Osceola Redarm(the goat) from AoEx) (also important, if not for the fact that it would’ve been completely covered and incomprehensible, BDs shirt would’ve said Hello Nurse with a Red Cross on it - it’s KOs shirt)

New KO concepts and the start of a potential Starscream (im smirking)

Are they giving vampire bc I lowk wanted to channel vampire but I can’t tell if I failed or not

And finally… from out of the blue it’s StarBee. Sorry they’re both individually my favorite characters so I just… I put them together because I love them. There’s an entire au in my head and everything, hopefully I’ll find it in me to expand and share. It involves a death loop if anyone was curious :3

Plus a humanized bee that I put through the works because I love him, it’s a crime of passion

(Fun fact this was the first Mech I ever drew and you can tell becaus it’s not very Mech-esque ;*})

…I am still unaware on what constitutes effective tagging so sorry if it’s lackluster. I’m tying my best o7

#starbee #bumblebee #tfp #transformers #starscream #knockout #breakdown #tfp kobd #optimus prime #megatron #kobd #transformers prime

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lenaswritingandstuff · 9 months ago

Text

Meant to be mine - Regulus Black x f!reader

Pairing: Regulus Black x f!reader; Evan Rosier x f!reader

Summary: When you start thinking Regulus only sees you as his best friend, you date someone else. However, Regulus' reaction to your new relationship is not what you expected.

Word Count: 8.8K

Warnings: Angst; English is not my first language!

A/N: Loosely based on the dating Headcanons I posted. I had to make up two Slytherin students because well, apparently we don't know any Slytherin girl from Regulus' era - feel free to correct me if you do know one. It was supposed to be Barty instead of Evan but I want him to get the girl lol so I'll write something for him in the future. Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Enjoy!

Tag list: @helendeath @im-jesus

Tag list for this story: @pompeygirl89 @angemyrtille

Regulus and you had clicked immediately on your first day at Hogwarts several years ago, and he was the best friend you ever had. You essentially spent most of your time together, sitting next to each other in class, doing homework and studying together, and spent your free time reading, watching movies or simply talking and laughing, incredibly comfortable with each other. Sure, you had made other friends, and also spent time with them, but it couldn’t compare to what you felt when you were with Regulus, for the simple reason that, during your third year in school, you fell hard in love with your best friend.

But much to your chagrin, Regulus never hinted at sharing your feelings. You had noticed how he looked disappointed when you told him you were spending time with Emmeline and the others, but you thought he just felt that way because, well, you were the only friend he had - for some reason, he had never managed to create a friendship with any other boys from your house, despite a lot of them also coming from a pure-blood family. You never told anyone about your feelings for the sweet, caring boy with dark curls, and, too shy and scared to tell him how you felt, you buried your feelings for him, secretly - and shamefully - thankful that while your love wasn’t shared, he didn’t seem interested in any other girl, and instead, continued spending all your time with him like everything was fine.

But pretending became harder and harder with time, and summer break almost came as a relief. You were spending it debating over confessing your feelings and risking destroying your friendship or keeping on slowly breaking your heart -, you decided to move on. However, it turned out to be even harder than to love someone who didn’t love you back, especially since Regulus kept writing to you about how bored he was in his family’s house despite his parents’ affection, and how much he missed you. Your first instinct was to not answer his letters, but you eventually did write a polite yet very short letter where you told him you missed him too. He didn’t seem to notice how cold your letters were, and kept writing to you, asking about what you were doing and talking about the books he was reading. But several days before going back to Hogwarts, you finally made up your mind, and decided to move on from Regulus.

After saying goodbye to your parents on Platform 9 3/4, you waited for the train next to your bags, feeling a bit anxious at the thought of seeing Regulus again, when you suddenly felt a hand on your shoulder. It made you jump, and when you turned around, you felt your heart miss a beat when you saw Regulus’ sweet eyes and smile.

“Sorry, y/n,” he said gently, “I didn’t want to startle you.”

“It’s fine, hum,” you said. “How…How are you, Reggie?”

“Very well,” he said. “It’s nice to come back to school and to see you again. Oh, I almost forgot.”

You frowned as he turned around for a second, only to turn around with a gorgeous bouquet of flowers in his hands.

“There for you.”

“Oh, Reggie,” you said, hiding your annoyance when you felt your heart beating faster, “they’re beautiful, thank you.”

You reached a hand and took them, but froze when your fingers touched Regulus’. Your eyes met his, but after a few seconds, he didn’t move his fingers. You only dared to move when the train’s departure was announced as imminent, and you took the bouquet, trying but struggling to grab all your bags in one hand and the bouquet in the other. Regulus immediately saw your struggle and reached out a hand.

“Please let me help, I’ll put your bags on the train.”

“I’m fine, Reggie,” you said without looking at him, walking to the train’s door.

“Come on, y/n, let me…”

Not waiting for an answer, he grabbed all your bags and, acting like a gentleman as he always did, he opened the door and let you get on the train first. He then followed you in, and you started walking quickly to put some distance between the two of you while you were looking for a compartment. You eventually found an empty one, put the bouquet on the seat next to you and went back to Reggie, who was about to enter the compartment, and took your bags from his hands.

“Thank you, Reggie,” you said, still not looking at him.

You put your bags where they were supposed to go, over your head, and sat close to the window, and looked at the other students saying goodbye to their relatives. Regulus did the same with his bags before sitting on the opposite seat.

“How did your summer go?” he asked.

“Good,” you said, still looking through the window. “Yours?”

“Good.”

Soon, there were only families or relatives on the platform, and the train started moving minutes after. Regulus tried to make conversation during the whole journey, asking you about your activities during the summer or your family, but you only gave him short answers while avoiding looking at him, which he didn’t seem to notice. He never notices anything. Regulus later tried to buy something from the trolley for you, but you politely refused despite his insistence. You knew you were acting like a child, and knew it would be simple to take risk to face rejection but you couldn’t help it. You felt as if the only way you could get over him was to put distance between the two of you - maybe if you saw him less and talked less with him, your feelings would go away, and you could try to find interest in other boys. But as the train got closer to Hogwarts, you realized seeing Regulus less was going to be harder, considering you shared all your classes. I’ll just sit next to Emma, you thought. And I’ll just have to find excuses to not spend as much time with him. The rest of the journey was spent in silence. You looked at the landscape in front of you, and while Regulus remained silent, you sometimes felt his eyes on you. Two hours later, the sun was starting to set, which meant the journey would be over soon. You rose from your seat, and, for the first time in hours, looked at your best friend.

“We should put our robes on.”

Regulus looked at you before slightly nodding.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

The next few weeks in Hogwarts went on quickly, and you managed to avoid Regulus outside of class - and managed to ignore the ache his sudden “absence” caused in your heart. As you had decided on the train, you now sat next to Emmeline or Mary in class - neither of them thankfully asking you why you no longer sat next to Regulus. Regulus himself didn’t ask any questions either, and every time he tried to talk to you outside of class, you found an excuse to leave. He never insisted, however you would sometimes catch him looking at you in class, which secretly kept you awake at night, wondering if after all, Regulus might like you. Spending time with Emmeline, and Mary was nice, as they were funny, nice, and always made sure to include you, but deep down you were missing Regulus, his voice, his presence and your conversations more and more with each day passing.

One day, you were on your way back to your dorm after a study session in the library when you heard laughs in the next corridor. As you got closer, you recognized the voices, and you were eventually proven right in your guessing when you walked past Sirius, Regulus’ brother, and his friend James Potter. The latter didn’t see you, too busy laughing at some joke, but Sirius noticed you.

“Hi, y/n,” he said, walking to you. “You all right?”

“Yes.”

You knew Regulus didn’t like you speaking to Sirius, but deep down you always thought he wasn’t as bad as Regulus thought of him and you actually respected his courage to stand up to his family. Plus, in the few interactions you guys had, he had been nothing but polite and kind to you, so you didn’t have any reason to hate him.

“Cool. Had a good summer?”

“Yes, thank you. Yours?”

You knew through Regulus that Sirius had left the family’s house and thought it would be inappropriate to mention that you knew, as it wasn’t really any of your business.

“Great. And how is school so far?”

You were about to answer when another voice was heard in the corridor.

“y/n!”

Your heart almost sank as you heard Regulus quickly walking up to you, and you finally dared to look at him, you saw he was angry.

“What’s going on?” he asked you before turning to his elder brother. “Why are you talking to her?”

Far from being intimidated, Sirius raised his shoulders and frowned, while his friend James slowly got closer to him.

“And why not? Plus, I don’t really see why she would need your permission,” he answered before giving you a reassuring wink.

Regulus gave him a death stare before he suddenly grabbed your arm.

“Come, y/n.”

Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but you slightly shook your head, meaning it was okay. You knew Regulus better than everyone else, and knew he would never hurt you in any way - well, other than the fact he didn’t love you back, that was. You followed Regulus into several corridors before he stopped walking and turned to you.

“What was that?” he asked as if he was both shocked and confused.

“Your brother and I were just talking,” you said calmly.

“Oh, so you speak to him, but you won’t speak to me?”

“Well,” you said, trying to act detached, “we are talking now, aren’t we?”

Regulus had a false amused small laugh, “You know very well what I meant. Ever since we’ve gotten here, no, ever since we got into the train, you won’t speak to me or even look at me. Do not think I didn’t notice how you always sit next to your friends in class, and that when we aren’t in class, I don’t know where you are most of the time.”

You couldn’t help but feel joy knowing Regulus did notice the distance between you two,

“I’ve just been busy,” you lied. “Is that a crime?”

“No, but I’d like to know which crime I did for you to ignore and avoid me in such manner.”

“You didn’t do anything,” you said in a reassuring tone. “I’ve just thought that… I should spend more time with the girls. That’s all.”

Regulus stared at you, and you feared for a second that he didn’t believe you.

“Then, can we go back to how things were before? You…Is there any way you could spend time with the girls and me?”

He sounded so sad, hurt even, that you felt your heart break and felt immensely guilty for how you treated him and how alone he must have been - even more considering you did that only to get over him and it didn’t work at all. In that moment, the only thing you wanted was to be in his arms.

“Of course. I’m sorry, Reggie,” you said with a small, sad smile. “Truly.”

You didn’t know if it was going to be easy to be around Regulus again, but maybe it was time to think about another solution. Maybe I could give him hints? Or maybe just try to make him jealous? Or maybe I could simply not care anymore and just tell him how I…

“It’s okay, y/n. I’m glad to have my best friend back.”

You froze, and so did your heart.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

“Girls, you won’t believe who asked me on a date today!”

You and Mary were in the common room after a long day of class - which you spent next to Regulus - sitting on one of the sofas and Emmeline was now coming back from giving back a book to the library, with pink cheeks and a great smile on her face.

“Who?” you asked with curiosity.

“Marius!” she said excitedly.

“No way!” Mary said, putting her books down.

“Yes!” Emmeline said, both hands on her heart. “We’re going to Hogsmeade tomorrow afternoon.”

“We’re happy for you,” you smiled.

“You two should find boyfriends too, you know,” Emmeline said, sitting between you and Mary. “Not anybody, of course. You deserve the best. He obviously needs to come from a good and respectable family.”

Emmeline was a Rowle, and while she had a kind heart, she had been raised to believe she should marry a man from a wealthy Pure-Blood family - a belief your family and Mary’s didn’t share - and Marius Avery, from your class, while being an overall polite and quiet student, just also happened to fit that criterion. However, you always had a bad feeling about him, but you just couldn’t put your finger on it.

“As long as he’s a good man himself,” you said, going back to reading your book, “his family doesn’t matter to me.”

“y/n is right,” Mary said. “Wealth and blood doesn’t matter.”

“As you wish, ladies. Still, we need to find you boyfriends. y/n, what do you think about dear Evan?”

You turned your head to look at the light-haired boy from your class, chatting with one of his friends on the other side of the room. You didn’t look at him for long, but still enough for him to notice, look back at you and give you a smile.

You smiled back at him and felt your cheeks becoming hotter. While ignoring and avoiding Regulus, you had been exploring other options, and Evan had definitely one of them. You admit he was rather cute, with his green eyes, great smile and sand hair, and you only had warm conversations with him through the years - your feelings to Regulus not allowing you to feel anything else but fondness for Evan or any other boy in school.

“He’s nice.”

“And?” Emmeline insisted, raising an eyebrow.

“‘And’ nothing else,” you retorted patiently.

“Marius and he are best friends,” Emmeline continued, apparently not caring about your non-interest, “I could ask him tomorrow about it.”

“Emmeline, please,” you sighed.

“What? Do you have someone in mind?” Emmeline asked. “Is it Regulus?”

“What?! No!” you immediately protested, trying to keep your normal voice. “Reggie and I…are just friends.”

Emmeline shrugged and turned to Mary.

“What about you, Mary? Any boy you like?”

You went back to reading your books about magical creatures, grateful Emmeline was now playing matchmaker for somebody else. Regulus arrived in the common room at that moment, and you two went to the Great Hall for dinner while Emmeline and Mary stayed in the common room. A few days had passed since your conversation with him, and everything seemed to be back to normal, except he was now spending time with other boys from your class while you were with the girls and you were know sure Regulus only saw you as his best friend - because if he felt anything else for you, he would have told you after seeing you with Sirius, wouldn’t he? It had made you cry at night, and also made you want to avoid Regulus again, especially since you now felt uncomfortable around him - and basically had lost your appetite. The only option was now to move on, as you were now too scared that trying to make him jealous would fail and were sure you couldn’t endure the heartbreak and it would mean the end of your friendship with Regulus.

Maybe Emmeline is right, you thought in your bed that night, making sure she was asleep before allowing yourself to cry. Maybe I should get to know Evan better.

The next morning, you would have stayed the whole day in bed feeling sorry for yourself. But knowing the girls would come looking for you at some point, you decided to go to the Great Hall for breakfast, and as it was still early, there were only a few students there. You sat down on the table, looking down on your empty plate.

“Hi, y/n”

Lost in your thoughts - who were mainly about a dark-haired boy with green eyes - you didn’t hear Evan coming.

“Oh, hi, Evan. How are you?”

“Good, thank you. Do you mind if I sit?”

“Not at all, please do.”

He gave you a smile and sat on the opposite bench. He served himself some breakfast, and you imitated him, even though the usual tasty food tasted like ash in your mouth and you felt your stomach closing itself.

“So, any plans for this weekend?” he asked, serving you both pumpkin juice.

“Thank you. Well, no, I don’t really have plans. You?” you answered.

“Same.”

He seemed to hesitate a bit before clearing his throat and running a hand through his hair.

“Well, I…Maybe we could go for a drink in Hogsmeade?” he asked with a nervous voice. “I mean, I think it’s a shame that we’ve been classmates for years and don’t know each other much.”

Speechless, you stared at him, and soon his cheeks became pink in embarrassment.

“Hum, just forget it,” he mumbled, lowering his head, “I understand if you don’t want to go…”

“No!” you said a bit too loudly, and his eyes were immediately filled with hope. “I mean, of course I’d love to go to Hogsmeade with you! I’m sorry, I was just surprised.”

“Great. Actually, do you have anything to do right now?” he suddenly asked. “‘Cause why wait? We could go right now.”

Surprised again, it took you a few seconds to answer, “Hum, yeah! Absolutely,” you nodded. “I’ll just grab a jacket and my purse in my dorm and we meet in the common room?”

“Perfect,” Evan smiled again.

You both had finished eating, so you went directly to the common room, which was empty. Barty went to his dorm and you went to yours, and after brushing your teeth and grabbing what you needed, you went back to the common room, but this time, Regulus was here, sitting on a sofa and apparently waiting for someone. You approached him, thinking you could at least tell him you wouldn’t be free today.

“Hi, Reggie.”

He raised his eyes and gave you a smile.

“Hi, you. Already had breakfast?”

“Yes. You?”

“Not yet,” he shook his head, “I’m waiting for Alexander and Dorius, then I’m gonna help them do the homework for Slughorn. You know, what we did on Thursday. Ah, here they are.”

You nodded, and suddenly heard two people coming from the dorms. It was indeed Alexander and Dorius, who were like Regulus from the Sacred Twenty-Eight - respectively from the Avery the Mulciber family.

“Wanna come with us?” Regulus asked, standing up.

“Um, I’m sorry, I have things to do.”

“You sure?” he asked.

You nodded with the most confident smile you could force your mouth to make.

“Alright. I’ll see you later, then,” he smiled, and squeezed your shoulder as he brushed past you to leave the common room. Seconds later, Evan arrived with quick steps.

“I’m so sorry for making you wait,” he said. “I couldn’t find my jacket.”

“It’s okay,” you smiled.

“Should we?”

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Spending time with Evan was surprisingly very enjoyable, as you found him to be kinder and warmer than you already thought he was. He also acted like a true gentleman, offering you flowers from the village’s flower shop, and his conversation was always funny or interesting - and sometimes both. You also could feel he was a bit shy, which made him adorable.

“Wanna go to the Three Broomsticks?” he asked.

“Sure,” you said.

He smiled at you, and opened the door for you.

“Madam.”

“Thank you, good sir.”

You both had a small laugh before he followed you in, and you sat at a free table near a corner of the room for a bit more privacy, but you could still see the door from where you were sitting.

“Thanks again for the flowers,” you said with genuine thankfulness, “they’re beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you, but you’re more than welcome.”

Mrs. Rosmerta took your order and gave you a wink, probably thinking you and Evan were on a date.

“What do you want to do next?” he asked. “We could go see the Shrieking Shack, unless you want to go back to the castle?”

“Your pick,” you said.

Evan laughed, and you were surprised to find that his laugh was as cute as he was.

The conversation continued, and you were focused on what he was saying when the door of the pub opened, and you almost choked on your drink when you saw Regulus coming in, followed by Alexander and Dorius.

“You okay?” Evan asked, frowning.

“Yes, yes. Sorry.”

You tried to put yourself against the wall so Regulus couldn’t see you, but as his friends went to the bar, he looked around the room and froze when he saw you - and from where he was, there was no chance he didn’t see Barty as well. Feeling panic rushing over you, you tried to act as if you didn’t see him and instead looked at Barty’s glass, was thankful when you saw it was empty.

“Should we go? A new restaurant opened at the end of the street, maybe we could have lunch there?”

“Oh, yeah, I’ve heard about it. Let me go pay for the drinks.”

Usually you would propose to pay, but going to the bar would mean the impossibility of avoiding Regulus and an uncomfortable conversation. You rose from your chair and went outside despite the cold wind, but only a few seconds later, the pub’s door opened and Reggie was now standing in front of you.

“What are you doing here with him?” he asked..

His tone was barely a bit more confused than usual, but words still had a hard time coming out.

“I…We…We’re just hanging out.”

“Is this a date?”

“I…I don’t know if he sees it…”

“I don’t care about what he thinks,” Regulus cut you off harshly, “do you see it as a date?”

“I don’t know!” you answered in the same tone. “What does it matter to you anyway? Shouldn't you be helping your friends with their homework?”

“Alexander didn’t feel like doing it,” Regulus spoke quickly, “but don’t try to change the subject, this is about you and Evan, since when do you hang out with him?”

“Since I’ve wanted to! Regulus, I do not need your permission to talk to Sirius or to hang out with any boy I want!”

Regulus opened his mouth to answer, but no word came out. He looked at the ground for a second, his face and eyes hardening, before staring at you with angry eyes.

“Very well.”

Before you could answer, Regulus turned heels and went back inside the pub, slamming the door behind him. Not even a minute later, Evan came out, frowning.

“Is everything all right? Did Regulus talk to you?”

You nodded, “Yes. He just had a…question.”

Evan looked unsure, but didn’t say anything.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

The next day, you were getting ready in your dorm when someone knocked at your door. Expecting Emmeline coming to ask you questions about your day with Evan, you opened the door, but it wasn’t her. Instead stood Regulus, with flowers in one hand.

“Reggie?”

“y/n. I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“No, no, come in.”

Regulus gave you a small smile and entered your room, and you saw his expression change when his eyes met your desk and the bouquet Evan gave you yesterday.

“These are for you,” he said, handing you the flowers.

“Thank you so much, Reggie,” you smiled. “You shouldn’t have, they’re beautiful.”

“I was really surprised to see you with Evan,” he continues as you put the flowers in a vase. “I’ve never seen you hang out with him.”

“He’s nice,” you shrugged.

Regulus gave you a nod, “And…Do you want to see him again?”

The question took you off guard. “Well, I…I don’t know, I…I mean, even if I see Evan again, it doesn’t have to mean anything. Him and I could just remain friends.”

I should really talk to him to see how he sees it. Regulus remained silent, only staring at you.

“Well, I have Quidditch practice,” he said. “Can we have lunch together after?”

“I’d love to,” you nodded with a smile.

Regulus smiled back at you, and left. You could feel something was off with him, but maybe it was just because he felt guilty for the argument you had yesterday? You tried not to think much of it, as you didn’t want to get your hopes up. A few minutes later, Emmeline and Mary came to your door, asking you if you wanted to do your homework together - however, while it was not the first time the three of you did that, you knew very well Emmeline would take that opportunity to ask you about your time spent with Evan.

“Sooo, y/n,” Emmeline said with an amused and curious tone, “a little bird told me you spent the day with a certain blond boy from our class.”

“How was it?” Mary asked kindly.

“It was nice,” you shrugged. “Evan is very kind, and we had a good time.”

“Did he kiss you?” Emmeline asked abruptly.

“Emmeline!” Mary protested.

“What? I’m just asking,” she raised her shoulders before turning back to you, “you better be prepared for it, girl, because I heard Evan and Marius last night, and he really liked your time together, so much so that he plans on courting you and asking you to be his girlfriend.”

“What?” you said in a whisper.

“It’s a bit early, isn’t it?” Mary frowned.

“Yes!” you said with panic in your voice. “Of course it is! We’ve spent barely a day with each other and it’s not like we talked that much before that!”

“Calm down, y/n,” Emmeline said, a bit confused by your reaction, “if you think things are going too fast, just tell him. He seems to really like you, so he probably won’t mind.”

You sighed and did your homework in silence, and the subject quickly shifted to something else. Once you were done, you noticed Regulus would soon be back from practice, so you put back your things in your dorm before going to the Great Hall to wait for him. Next time, I’ll go watch the practice like I used to. But, on your way, you heard someone calling for you.

“y/n!”

You froze, and turned to see Evan almost running towards you.

“What’s up, Evan?”

“I just wanted to say I really had a good time yesterday.”

“Me too,” you smiled.

“And I was wondering if we could hang out again sometime? We could, I don’t know, have a picnic near the Black Lake or go to Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop? Or do anything you want, really.”

You were about to politely refuse, or at least tell him that it would only be as friends, but suddenly Regulus’ “I’m glad to have my best friend back.” came back to your mind.

“Actually, I’d really love that,” you answered with a genuine smile.

“Brilliant. I’ll see you later, then.”

You nodded vividly, and without thinking, got on your toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. His blue gaze shifted, and he turned around and left after giving you a smile. Why not? Maybe it’s worth giving it a shot. A half-smile on your lips, you turned heels to enter the Great Hall but your heart skipped a beat when you saw Regulus standing in the corridor.

“Hi, Reggie.”

Why did your voice have to be shaking?

He only greeted you with his head, not speaking a word, and you two went to sit at the Slytherin table.

“How was practice?”

“Good.”

He usually would give you details or just tell you how he did, but apparently he didn’t feel like it today.

“Did something happen?” you asked.

“No,” he said coldly, only looking at his plate.

His sudden cold behaviour made you too nervous to insist or ask other questions, and you also didn’t want to make him angrier than he already seemed to be, so you kept silent. You guys were almost done eating when he spoke again.

“What did Evan want?”

“Um, he wanted to ask if we could hang out again sometime.”

Regulus nodded, “That’s nice. Did you accept?”

“Yes.”

He nodded again, and his mouth turned an unusual smile.

“I’m happy for you, y/n.”

And with that, he got up and left, leaving you more confused than ever.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

The week that followed was normal, spent between classes, homework, Emmeline’s constant and annoying teasing and questions and Regulus acting strangely. While you guys spend time together, he always seemed elsewhere and somehow full of melancholy. You had asked him if something was wrong, but he had said no. Evan, who now would sometimes smile at you in class, had also asked you to go to Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop on Saturday, and here you were, sitting among other couples. The place was nice, and Evan was still as kind as ever - even showing up with flowers again. You had done your best to focus and enjoy your time with him through the whole afternoon, but your mind kept coming back to Regulus and his attitude.

“I didn’t think this place would be that nice,” Evan said. “I had never come here before.”

“Me neither,” you said.

He gave you a smile, and soon after proposed to go to Honeydukes, as he had promised one of his friends to buy some sweets for him. You went in too, and bought Regulus’ favorite sweets with the hope that it would cheer him up - or that you two could at least share a moment of closeness and laughs with your stomachs full of sugar.

You then both decided to go back to the warmness of the castle, and were mostly alone on your way back.

“I had a great time today, y/n,” he spoke, suddenly stopping.

“Me too,” you assured him.

He looked at you, and before you had time to take another breath, he got closer, bent over and pressed his lips on yours. Your first instinct was to protect yourself, but after you realized what happened, the kiss started to feel a bit nice and you even kissed Evan back before he pulled away. You were now breathless and still processing the fact that you had your first kiss.

“I’m so sorry,” Evan said. “I know I should have asked, but…I couldn’t help it. I really like you, y/n. Actually, I…I’ve liked you since last year.”

Your eyebrows rose in surprise, “Really?”

“Yeah,” he said, running his hand through his light hair in embarrassment, “I never asked you out because I thought you and Regulus were dating or something.”

You felt your heart sink and gulped.

“No, we…There was nothing between us.”

“Can’t say I’m not glad of it,” Evan had a half-smile. “Shall we?”

You both went back to the castle, hand in hand, and sat in the common room. You somehow felt a bit overwhelmed with both Evan’s kiss and confession, and also by the fact that you were starting to think that things were going a little bit too fast. Maybe I should tell him? I can’t date him if I’m not fully over Reggie yet. You took a deep silent breath and turned to him.

“Evan? Can I tell you something?”

“Of course, beautiful.”

“I’m really enjoying our time together,” you started, “and I’m glad you told me about your feelings, but…”

“We’re going too fast,” he completed.

You nodded, and he had a small smile.

“I understand, don’t worry. It’s true this whole thing is really recent, so if you want us to take our time, I’m totally fine with it.”

You felt relieved, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you, Evan.”

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

A few weeks later, it felt like, except classes, everything else had changed. You now spent a lot of your time with Evan, who was still as sweet as ever, while the rest was spent between Emmeline and Mary. As for Regulus, you had noticed that as time passed, he had become more and more distant. While you didn’t think much of it - after all, he also disliked when you spent time with Emmeline and Mary back then - but it still made you sad and ashamed - sad, because you disliked the distance between the two of you, and ashamed, because you were more or less officially dating Evan now, but didn’t tell Regulus, and kept saying you were just “friends” instead. You tried your best to spend time with him, or just ask him how he was doing, but it was now his turn to avoid you, always finding an excuse to spend as little time with you as possible. And the few times he couldn’t leave, he was polite but cold, only answering your questions with short answers and focusing on something else. It started to annoy you a lot, and you planned on getting him somewhere he couldn’t escape from to finally get him to tell you what was wrong with him.

But you also felt scared, because the more time you spent with Evan, the more your feelings for him started to grow. He now had the habit of coming to your dorm to kiss you goodnight every night, and you had even taken the initiative to kiss him a few times when you two were alone, and he was more than delighted. He didn’t seem to mind that you guys weren’t official yet, and for that you were thankful. But you also felt guilty to think and worry about Regulus - and having the kind of thought someone with a boyfriend shouldn’t have - and not be able to focus solely on Evan and your relationship.

That said, Evan was so sweet and patient, and it made you want to make some effort too, and you were starting to think that maybe, going public wasn’t that bad. After all, you were not ashamed of Evan or your relationship. So, why not? A little voice inside your head was telling you only did that because of your guilt, but you ignored it, and one day after classes, you asked for Evan’s attention by touching his arm, and when he turned his head to you, you gestured for him to go into an empty corridor. He seemed pleasantly surprised, and had the usual small, serine smile he always gave you. You put your arms around his neck, and he soon wrapped his arms around your waist.

“I’ve had an idea,” you said with a smile.

“Oh, really?” he said. “Should I be worried?”

“No. Actually, I…I thought it was maybe time to…not hide anymore?”

Evan’s eyebrows raised and his blue eyes started glowing. “Really?”

You nodded, and Evan’s hands left your waist to cup your cheeks and pull you into a deep kiss. You kissed him back, and after a few seconds, you heard footsteps. You instinctively pulled away from Evan, and when you turned your head, you felt your stomach drop when you saw a boy with familiar black curls and green eyes - green eyes that were now looking at you with confusion, anger and sadness at the same time. Without realizing it, your hands left Evan’s neck, and you stepped away from him.

“Reggie, I-”

But before you could continue, Regulus turned around and left.

“Reggie!”

You turned to Evan, suddenly feeling guilty.

“I’m sorry, I…I’ll see you later, okay?”

You didn’t give him time to answer, and went after your best friend. As you started catching up with him, you realized - or decided - that it was time to confront him and finally have a proper discussion.

“Reggie, wait!”

You both were now in the common room, but thankfully there were only a few people at the moment. He finally stopped walking, and turned to you. You almost took a step back, as you had never seen him with such a closed, angry face.

“Can we talk?”

He looked at you, and took a look around. “Not here. In your dorm.”

He started walking again, but this time it was easier for you to follow him. He walked through the common room and climbed the stairs that led to the dorms. He entered your dorm first, his back turned to you, and after coming in, you closed the door behind you.

“Reggie,” you started, “I-”

“Was that your first kiss?” he cut you off.

It was now your turn to be confused. “What?”

He turned to you, and your heart started beating faster.

“Was that the first time you’ve kissed someone?”

You opened your mouth, but no words came out.

“Tell me!” Regulus demanded in a louder voice.

“No!” you answered in the same tone. “No, it wasn’t! Why?! I don’t understand why you’re so angry. Why does that concern you all of a sudden?”

Regulus closed his eyes, had a small sigh, and ran both his hands through his face.

“It should have been me,” he muttered for himself.

At first, you thought you heard him wrong, and frowned in disbelief.

“What?”

What in Merlin’s name is happening now? Regulus looked at you, sighing again, but this time it seemed as if he had lost all his anger, and now looked at you with broken eyes.

“It should have been me,” Regulus repeated. “Me. Your first kiss. Your first love. Me, y/n. Not him.”

All the annoyance his reaction had provoked inside you suddenly left your body, leaving only confusion.

“But, Reggie…You see me as your best friend. Nothing else,” you said as if it was obvious.

“My best friend?” Regulus’ eyes widened. “My best…”

He had a laugh - and you would have been angry again if you had been capable of it - and he shook his head.

“y/n,” he said patiently. “I’ve been madly, desperately in love with you since our third year.”

Your heart almost stopped, and your knees suddenly felt weak. For a second you were scared to lose balance and fall, but you managed to keep your body standing. Your eyes went on the ground, taking in what Regulus just said, and you shook your head.

“No. No, you…You never showed any…Never said…”

“I know. I was scared you didn’t feel the same way, scared it would ruin our friendship. I’m sorry, y/n. I didn’t want to lose you, y/n, the mere thought broke me. You’re what I cherish the most in this life. Without you, I’d be lost.”

You felt tears burn in your eyes, and as you tried to take long breaths, you felt anger rise inside of you.

“I understand if it’s too late now,” Regulus continued.

“You…You’re unbelievable.”

Regulus looked at you in confusion. “What-”

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me since I’ve started seeing Evan?”

“Yes. I- I had this feeling you were starting to fall in love with him, and it was tearing me inside. I know it’s childish, and I also hated not seeing you, but it was too hard, y/n.”

“And how do you think I felt all these years, thinking you only saw me as your friend and thinking I wasn’t good enough?” you snapped. “Thinking nothing could ever happen between us because you didn’t share my feelings? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get over you, how scary to think I might watch you fall in love with another girl one day, and also how scary it is to think I could probably meet the best man on Earth and still think I would rather be with you? How guilty I felt that, despite being with a great man who admitted he loved me, my heart was also still somewhere else?”

“You wanted to get over me?” Regulus asked in a low, almost broken voice.

“At first it was impossible, no matter how hard I tried. But, after you asked me why I had been avoiding you and called me your best friend, I thought you didn’t share my feelings and started moving on with Evan, because he was sweet and had a good heart. We started going out in secret, but despite how much I wanted it to work you were always in the back of my mind, especially since you’ve been avoiding me. It made me sad, and I was so worried about you that I couldn’t focus on my relationship.”

There was a moment of heavy, almost sad silence, before Regulus spoke again.

“Do you love Evan?”

You sighed, “He’s a sweet boy, and I guess you two are alike in some ways. In other circumstances, he might have been the kind of boy I would have fallen for, and I admit I like him.”

Regulus had no reaction at first. You thought he was going to give up, tell you to be happy, but after a minute you noticed his body stiffening.

“I’ll fight for you.”

“What?”

He stepped closer to you. “I’ll fight for you. Now that I know you feel the same as I do, I won’t let you go. Ever. I’ll do what it takes for you to love me again. There is no way I’ll let us be apart. I love you, y/n. More than life.”

“Reggie-”

But his warm, soft hands suddenly cupped your face, making your heart beat faster, and put his forehead against yours.”

“Please, y/n. I can’t stand the distance between us anymore, and I can’t stand thinking that you’re not mine. Please, I’ll beg you if I must, but give me a chance. A chance to prove that I can be the man you both need and deserve.”

“Reggie, Evan…”

Reggie pulled his head away, though keeping it a few inches from yours, and slightly shook his head.

“Stay with him if you feel that you must, but know I will not ever give up on you. Be it ten days, ten months or ten years, I’ll still be here, waiting for you to realize that you were destined to be mine, and I yours.”

“Reggie, it’s not that easy-”

“Yes, it is! Don’t you see it?!”

And before you could say anything or take another breath, his hands were on both sides of your neck, his grip tight yet still gentle, and his lips crashed on yours. His kiss was desperate and starving, and awoke sensations you had never felt in your body. You soon kissed him back, suddenly also hungry for more, and Regulus immediately deepened the kiss, bringing your body close to his as much as possible. You didn’t have any idea how long the kiss lasted, but after a while, your lips and his parted, and you were both breathless.

“You can’t imagine how many nights I’ve spent imaging kissing you,” he whispered. “How your lips would taste, how it would feel…How it would feel to feel you love me back…”

You sighed, realizing you couldn’t lie to yourself anymore.

“I do love you, Reggie.”

It seemed almost stupid now that you thought you could love another. You were doomed to love this kind, sweet, quiet boy for the rest of your life, whether you wanted it or not.

“Then allow us to be together.”

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

You came back to your dorm feeling better than when you left it. Fortunately, Evan had taken the breakup very well, but seeing him clearly upset hurt you more than you thought it would. Regulus had asked to come with you, but you knew Evan wouldn’t hurt you, and you felt like you had to finally take responsibility. Reggie was sitting on your bed and his eyes were curious when you walked in.

“How did it go?”

“As good as it could,” you sighed. “But it was necessary. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror if I lied to him. He deserves better.”

Regulus nodded, and feeling you still felt guilty about Evan, he reached out his hands, and when you took them, he made you sat on his lap, wrapping his hands around you.

“You’re right. I’m sure he’ll get over it quickly, he’s not as emotional as he may seem.”

“What do you mean?” you frowned.

“Well, I’ve heard several times that he doesn’t seem to be affected by things. For not long, at least. But it’s just what people say, it might not be true after all.”

You gave him a nod but remained silent.

“I know it was hard,” he said gently. “And I know how much you hate hurting other people. But now, we can focus on what really matters.”

“Us.”

“Yes. I know things have been tense between us these past few weeks, and I hated every second of it. But it’s in the past now. Now that we’ve been true with each other, it will be better. Better than they ever had been.”

You nodded in approval, and he gave you a kiss on the cheek. You started better under his touch, and suddenly had an idea.

“Reggie?”

“Love?”

“Can we…” you hesitated, but he encouraged you to continue, “Can we cuddle?”

Reggie’s mouth parted in the cutest, happiest smile. “Of course.”

You got up, allowing him to take off his shoes and robe, leaving him in his white buttoned shirt and green and silver tie. He then laid on your bed, and after doing the same as him, you put your head on his chest and put your hand on one side of his neck. One of his hands was on your lower back and the other around your shoulder, with both his thumbs gently stroking you. Once you were fully comfortable and stopped moving, you felt him sigh in contentment, and he put his cheek against your hair.

“Every time I came here,” he said in a lower voice, “I would imagine what it would be like to just lay there and hold you in my arms like that.”

“I imagined it too,” you whispered, and you felt him holding you tighter. “I never thought it would actually happen.”

“I’m sorry, my love. Truly.”

“Don’t apologize.”

You raised your head to give him a gentle yet loving kiss, before putting it back on his chest. Despite not feeling tired, you closed your eyes, feeling more at peace and happy than you ever did. After a few hours of just staying here, happily holding each other, you went down to dinner, and thankfully didn’t run into Evan - Reggie and you had agreed to wait a few days before making your relationship known out of respect for him. Dinner was spent talking and laughing like you had done all these years, and you could have almost cried of how it felt to have things really go back to normal. Once you were both finished, you guys immediately went back to your dorm, and spent the rest of the night cuddling, kissing, whispering sweet things to each other while eating sweets. You eventually started falling asleep with Reggie’s body pressed against yours, his arms wrapped around your waist and his head in your hair.

You woke up the next morning in the exact same position, except that Reggie’s leg was now over yours, as if to stop you from leaving the bed. Still half asleep, you managed to turn around to face him, and saw how adorable he looked when he slept. You resisted the urge to caress his face and his soft dark curls, too scared to awake him. But after a short moment, Reggie started moving, and his eyes slowly opened. He immediately smiled when he saw you, and you couldn’t help but smile back.

“Morning, handsome,” you whispered, kissing his nose.

“Morning, love,” he yawned. “Slept well?”

“Perfectly. You?”

“Perfectly as well. We should go for breakfast, it’s probably like 10 am,” you added with a laugh.

“Want to have it here instead?” he asked, suddenly completely awake. “I could go in the kitchens and bring some food here.”

“It’s okay, Reggie,” you smiled, “we can just down there with the others.

“But I wanna stay here with you,” he pouted, and his adorable child-like expression made you laugh. “Alright, we’ll go down for breakfast, but today is free, and I want us to have a special lunch.”

“Of course,” you assured him.

He kissed you before allowing you to leave bed, and after you both showered and got ready, you went down to the Great Hall. After breakfast, you spent the rest of the morning in your dorm, quickly finishing the homework you both hadn’t done yet and cuddled again before Reggie left, giving you a kiss and telling you to meet him fifteen minutes later by the entrance’s hall.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

“y/n!”

You turned to see Emmeline and Mary walking towards you, dressed in their winter clothes.

“We’re going to go shopping at Hogsmeade, wanna join us?” Emmeline said.

“Oh, hum,” you said, “no, sorry, I’m waiting for Reggie, we’re gonna have lunch by ourselves.”

“Like a date?” Mary asked with a kind smile.

“What?” Emmeline retorted. “But I thought you and Evan were this close to be dating. What happened?”

“Evan was nice, but I don’t think it would have worked between us,” you shook your head. “Also, I haven’t spent time with Reggie in weeks, and I want to change that.”

As you said that, you saw Reggie coming, with a basket in his hand. You smiled goodbye to the girls, and followed Reggie near the stairs, resisting the urge to hold his hand. You followed him to the third floor of the castle, and you wondered what he had in mind until a large door appeared in front of him, and you finally realized this was the Room of Requirement. He opened the door, and invited you inside.

“Madam.”

You smiled at him before coming in, and gasped. The room was decorated with candles, flowers and Christmas decorations all around and, in the middle of the room, a large picnic blanket with several large pillows. On the opposite wall, a fire was burning in a marble chimney.

“Reggie! It’s so beautiful.”

“Well, thank you, sweetheart, but I didn’t do anything. Though I have to say, I exactly had that in mind.

You sat down on the picnic blanket, and when you opened the basket and saw all that Reggie had taken - sandwiches, cheese, some fruits, different kinds of small cakes, pumpkin juice, hot chocolate, Christmas biscuits - you couldn’t help but give him a thankful kiss.

“It looks good, Reggie.”

“Help yourself, love.”

You both started eating while chatting and laughing, and you didn’t know how much you had missed laughing and talking with him until that moment. Once the basket was empty - because apparently being happy and in love made you hungrier - you got closer to Reggie, putting your head on his shoulder. He immediately kissed your forehead, gently putting you between his legs, with your back against his chest and his hands around you. You immediately felt your body relax and your heart beat faster.

“I could stay here all day,” you said.

“It’s Saturday, love. We absolutely could. And, to be honest, spending the day here with you in my arms sounds like the perfect day.”

He nuzzled your nose, which made you giggle. However, as you looked at the Christmas decorations around the room, it reminded you that Christmas break was soon, and that both Reggie and you would have to go back to your respective homes. You knew your parents would love Reggie if they ever met him, but you couldn’t say the same for his own parents. You must have been lost in your thoughts longer than you thought, as Reggie gave you a quick kiss on the temple.

“What are you thinking about, beautiful?”

“Do you think your parents would love me?”

“Oh.”

You shook your head, “Yeah, I know, it’s probably too soon to think about that. I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re right,” Reggie answered. “You’re gonna have to meet them one day if we’re gonna get married.”

“Reggie!” you turned to him, chuckling and turning to face him.

“What? I was serious, y/n. I’m never gonna you let you go. You’re the only person I will ever be with. You were meant to be mine, and I was meant to be yours.”

He leant to kiss you, and you realise that he was right. You and Reggie were meant to be together no matter what.

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actiniumwrites · 11 months ago

Text

knots

synopsis: lyney has been head over heels in love with you since the two of you were only ten years old. the only problem? you're friends with lynette and not him. so he spends the next 8-9 years pining over you with seemingly unrequited feelings

characters: lyney x gn!reader

wc: 2.1k

warnings: angst to fluff, misunderstandings, happy ending, best friend's brother trope, an insane amount of obliviousness and pining, idiots to lovers pretty much, the ending is kinda rushed

disclaimer: i know character ages in genshin are a rather controversial topic of discourse within the community. i personally think of lyney and lynette to be around 18-19 years old and i do mention age in this fic as it follows a bit of a timeline. if this somehow bothers you, please just don't read or try to start an argument over it in my comments

notes: THIS IS SO CUTE IM SOBBING 🤧 i did throw in a lot of angst though i'm so sorry but i saw the opportunity and took it. the end is fluffy (and kind of rushed sorry) though‼️ the title is also inspired by lacy by olivia rodrigo as i think it's very fitting for this fic. thank you for the request! (this is my third time posting this cause the first time it didn't show up in the tags)

Lyney was jealous as a kid. It was hard not for him to be when him and Lynette were first introduced to you and you had barely even acknowledged him. He was only ten at the time, but he was so excited to make new friends outside of the House of the Hearth that he was stunned when you had only really talked to Lynette. You had only ever offered him a small wave and a smile to go along with it before running off with Lynette.

It wasn’t fair in his eyes. He was the one more interested in you anyway, not her. She had merely tagged along because he forced her too. Now here she was stealing his potential friends.

You’d clicked instantly with her. Both of you were more on the quiet and shy side, contrasting Lyney’s sunny and outgoing personality. You both liked the same foods, the same clothing, the same everything. Lyney wanted to share those with you too, but it was hard when his tastes differed from yours and you didn’t seem to pay much interest in him anyway.

And growing up, he’d always been around. You’d hang out with all of them, don’t get it twisted. It wasn’t like you’d ever told him he couldn’t spend time with you guys. In fact, you often spent a lot of time together. You were sweet. You loved helping them with their magic tricks, even though they normally failed since you were all thirteen by the time they really began taking it seriously. You’d pretend to be shocked when they guessed your card, despite knowing exactly how the trick worked. You’d be on standby when they performed more dangerous tricks. Hell, you were even an assistant for them nearly eighty-percent of the time.

Lyney was grateful for it all, but he still couldn’t shake the ever growing crush on you he’d developed three years ago when you first met. He wanted you to be closer with him more than his sister. It was selfish, he was well aware of that, but he was the one with a crush. Not Lynette.

Lyney was the one to pick you up and put a bandaid on your knees when you fell at the playground. Lyney was the one to always share his snacks with you, even when you usually said no. Lyney was the one to always sit next to you when you were feeling a little down and let his knee rest quietly against yours, hoping you wouldn’t pull yours away. Lyney was the one who was in love with you by the time you all turned 18.

When the fateful performance happened and they were revealed to be Fatui to the general public, he was sure you’d leave them for good. You had obviously known they were Fatui, but you didn’t know of the extent to which they acted, the crimes they had committed. In your eyes, they were only in training, because that was all they had told you. As close as you were to them, they could never let you know the full details. It was against the rules.

Lyney was so sure you’d up and leave that it was the second time he had ever truly felt anxiety in his life — his sister being taken was the first, but here you were making him feel that horrible pounding in his chest all over again. He was so sure that the ache in his chest would have to make room for more than just jealousy, but grief among heartbreak. That you’d look at them in fear and never speak to them ever again. That he’d never get to profess his love to you.

You proved him wrong, and rather unexpectedly so. You’d shown up to every second of their trial and helped the traveler out as best you could to exonerate them. You’d stuck by their side through it all and made sure they were alright. He was so surprised you almost made him cry.

When they were freed from it all and the crisis was solved, you’d only hugged Lynette and Freminet. That was the part that stung the most. But at this age, Lyney was too nervous around you. How could he not be? You were so pretty and sweet and kind that he didn’t know what to do, especially when he was confused as to where he stood with you. You were all of those things and more with everyone. Everyone but him.

So he pulls away.

He doesn’t want to. God, he’s so in love with you he doesn’t want to ever spend a second away from you, but you never reciprocate any of it. So perhaps, he decides one day, it’d be best to just move on and focus on other things. Lynette could have you to herself and he’d find someone else, no matter how much he wanted you the most.

And you hate it, because well, you’re confused. Which sounds unfair, and in some ways it is, but Lyney was a special light in your life that you couldn’t get too close to. Not because you didn’t want to. No. Of course not. He didn’t realize that you were too scared to. You were so different that you shied away from him, despite feeling all the same toward him. He was like the sun and if you got too close to him, you were scared he’d burn you.

Lynette pushed you toward him regularly. You never seemed to escape her late night gossip sessions where she told you all about how her brother was practically drooling over how good you looked or how sweet you were. You found it endearing while she found it disgusting. Despite it all, though, you had confided in her about your crush on him as well, but how terrified you were to try to actually approach him. She almost slapped you right then and there.

Lynette thinks you’re both stupid. And she’s right. Because now you’re both stuck in a huge misunderstanding. Lyney thinks you hate him and you think he hates you. Could anyone really blame her for being so annoyed?

“You need to talk to him,” she finally breaks one day, about to pass out in her chair from her social energy running out just from hearing about the entire situation nonstop for the past week. You stare at her mortified as she gives you an unimpressed stare.

You nearly choke on the drink you were sipping on just a moment ago, catching a few passerby’s attention as you do, “Why do I have to be the one to say something?! He’s the one that started avoiding me!”

“Are you dense?”

“No?”

She stares at you for a long minute and sighs.

“You’re both idiots. He likes you. You like him. You were too shy to say anything and now he’s decided to move on,” she explains, unimpressed. Did you really not see it after all these years?

“Move on? What?” you place your hands on the table in front of you, panic swimming in your eyes. It all hits you so fast you feel your heart practically about to burst out of your chest.

“I have to go, sorry!” you jump out of your chair, yelling a string of apologies from behind you as you run from the cafe.

It takes you an hour to find him after your conversation with Lynette ends abruptly. Freminet was nice enough to let you know Lyney had gone down to the outskirts of the main city to work on some magic tools by the beach. It was just an excuse to get away. All three of you knew it, but Lyney wasn’t the type to say how he truly feels in fear of being a bad leader.

You wished he had said something sooner. Though perhaps you should’ve been the one to take notice long ago that his advances were more than just friendly.

You suddenly feel regret build up in your stomach at the way you treated him all these years. You were so afraid of your feelings you sabotaged yourself in the process and unknowingly hurt him too.

You find him sitting in the sand, legs crossed as he quietly fiddles with a few parts for some magic props.

“Mind if I sit?” you practically whisper from beside him. Lyney doesn’t even look at you. It’s cold and and unlike him and must be exactly how you looked all these years. He nods anyway.

You watch the waves crash in front of you. Over and over again as they grow closer with the deepening hours of the night. The stars reflect gently upon each and every one of them yet you can’t get yourself to focus on them.

You fidget with a small flower in your hands. It was tucked away gently in your pocket, the petals sticking out to prevent it from getting crushed. It’s a vibrant pink and even with its petals closed for the night, it still looks beautiful in your hand. It reminds you of all the times Lyney had dropped the very same ones at your doorstep or somehow tucked away on a piece of your clothing without you noticing. You hadn’t bothered to look into the meaning back then. You never knew rainbow roses were a declaration of love.

Lyney still sits quietly next to you, now messing with the hat he had taken off when you arrived. His lavender eyes avoid yours, but you don’t hesitate to drop the flower gently into his hands.

“I never knew the meaning of these,” you turn to him and say softly. Your eyes match your voice and he knows you’re telling the truth, even if he doesn’t want to believe it. When he doesn’t move to touch it, nor get rid of it, you speak again, “It’s uh…it’s for you. I picked it on the way here. I thought you’d maybe like it.”

He finally picks it up and turns toward you, a mixture of emotions pooling in his eyes. You see the anger, the fear, the pain, and the love all at once. You wish you had seen it all sooner.

“Why are you giving this to me?” Lyney asks quietly. It comes off a little colder than he’d like, you see it in the way he winces after. You only stare at him with a sad, but hopeful look in your eyes. You couldn’t take back the past, but perhaps you could change the future.

Quietly, you take it from him and tuck it above his ear. He’d done the same to you one time, only it was part of a show and you thought it was just for the act. Oh how oblivious you were back then. “You know what it means to give someone one of these. Lyney, I…I never meant to push you away all these years. I was just scared because I liked you, and Lynette was easier to get closer to than face my feelings for you. Even if we were just ten years old. It was immature and for that, I’m sorry.”

It’s quiet for a moment before his face brightens a bit, “Do you really mean it? You’ve really liked me all these years? Or are you just saying all this to make me feel better?”

You nod, confirming your words and he breaks out into laughter. A sound you’ve dearly missed. Sadness doesn’t suit Lyney.

“Can I…?” He says scooting closer to you, eyes glancing in between yours before falling to your lips. You nod, a small laugh escaping you as you lean in to meet him half way.

Lyney’s lips are soft against yours as he kisses you eagerly. You reciprocate the feeling, matching his pace until you both pull apart out of breath. You laugh nervously standing up and extending a hand, “Wanna go home?”

Lyney jumps up, his hand in yours and nods. He interlaces his fingers with yours tightly, not letting you go after all these missed out years.

When you return to the House of the Hearth, Lyney turns and places one last kiss to your lips. It’s short and sweet and lets you know that he’ll definitely be seeing you tomorrow. You turn and walk away after, wishing him a goodnight as you do. But before you can walk away completely and turns and shouts, “7 PM tomorrow at the Hotel Debourd! I’ll pick you up!”

Lynette appears behind him suddenly, rolling her eyes and waving to you before shutting the door on her twin, “You’re hopeless, brother.”

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact fanfiction #lyney #lyney x reader #lyney x you #lyney x y/n

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abigailovesz · 3 months ago

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any other blog recommendations ?

ALSO I LOVE LOVE YOUR BLOG SMM

OMG OMG yes i have SOO much recommendations.

FIRST. we have.. @loveharlow. NO CAUSE yall do not understand, her work?? INSPIRED ME. in november, i read seven on a roadtrip- and just HER WRITING STYLE? amazing. also her personality? AMAZING. shes so so sweet and i actually appreciate her and her work sm. LOVE YOU HARLOW.

SECOND. we have.. @bbyg4rl TEHE #1 DIVA. no, cause i really be in a random ass grocery store, opening my phone and tumblr- duh. and she posts this random ass thought and it SENDS ME. istg i wake up for her fucking jokes. and her work? UHM, AMAZING. i really be having seizures (kidding) over her smut...LOVE YOU B.

THIRD. we have.. @kittykatinc i actually love her and her aesthetic smm, she's also really sweet AND im sure she started a smau SO GO SEE THAT. LOVE YOU KAT.

FOURTH. we have.. @lilastrocup NO CAUSE SHE IS THE GIRL BOSS AT ALL THE CANON!JJ like i just love how she makes the unserious, chaotic jj in her work like MUAHH

FIFTH. we have.. @santaasi OKAY where do i start? she made the fic- the FIRST EVER FIC THAT I EVER CRIED TOO. this one. AND I JUST LOVE HER BLOG STYLE, HER WRITING STYLE. all of it!!

SIXTH. we have.. @stxrrkissed she is so so sweet, i LOVE her style, her support and i actually love jack harlow AND IM STILL READING ALL OF EM but i also just love her fandoms too!!

SEVEN. we have.. @thepinkprincesss HEYY OKAY, so i love love her and her fics, her ideas and HER DARK!JJ FICS 🤭 lowk opened a new part of me. BUT LOVE YOU SHAILA.

EIGHT. we have.. @featherandferns okay so people NEED to see her profile. THIS INSTANT. just search her jj tag and she's got a whole bunch of em AND THE BEST ENEMIES TO LOVERS ISTG. i really was inspired by her though, and i appreciate her sm. love youu

NINE. we have.. @rubiehart AHHH no guys, you do. not. understand. when i first got tumblr, i searched the obx fandom stuff and she showed up with the most mind blowing angst fic ever ever SO THANK YOU RUBIE!! she hasn't been online much, but that is okayyy just look at her stuff or else.

TEN. we have.. @thebestjjenthusiast SHE IS SO SO FUNNY WITH HER SMAUS. she has been offline for awhile, but she has already completed smau's so go look at those :)

ELEVEN. we have.. @maybankxw GO LOOK AT HER SMUT. NOW. NOW. I DEMAND.

TWELVE. we have.. @darlingchronicles. guys, i have one word. BREATHTAKING. because, she has a few smaus?? no, one smau. and it's AMAZING and if you scroll down you find some ALSO BREATHTAKING fics. this one. this one. this one. HER CONCEPTS??

THIRTEEN. we have.. @sexilene MUAH MUAH. LOVE. she quit but she does have THE BEST work!

FOURTEEN. we have.. @baocean AHH i love her and her smau, it's so WORTH waiting for and i also love her theme n alll. I RECOMMEND.

FIFTEEN. we have.. @moremaybank uh, shes been offline for 4 months BUT IT OKAY!! so, her smut makes me come. ALL IM SAYING.

#jj maybank #abbie answers!!#outer banks #obx x reader #jjmaybank #jj maybank obx #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank x reader #jj outer banks #jj thoughts #jj edits #jj x reader #jj maybank fic #jj maybank smut #jj maybank x fem!reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x you #jj obx

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princess-luvvv · 6 months ago

Text

A GOLD RING AND COLD FEET

Rafe Cameron x fem!exgirlfriend!reader

A/N: (This is lowk 4.3k words I’m sorry) Hey guys lol I literally do not know what I’m doing help. I did not proofread idek how to work this app so if this sucks just don’t tell me bc this thing is the biggest pain in the ass lol. Like I am so genuinely sorry I’m such a grandma. Also this is what I listened to while writing this so feel free to listen as well :)

WARNINGS: AUTHOR CANT FIGURE THIS APP OUT, there’s no smut (not going to traumatize you guys with my brain on the first post), girl reader, marriage (basically the whole theme), cheating (sort of from reader but like it’s fine), ermmm just bad writing im sorry lol. Just a man yearning (like good). Okay Im sorry byeee.

14 DAYS UNTIL THE WEDDING DAY: THE BRIDAL SHOWER

Rafe Cameron was going to be the death of me. I knew it.

We had dated for 7 years. He asked me out when we were 14 after knowing each other since we were 6. He broke up with me when we were 21. He said he “couldn’t be tied down in his 20s”.

After that I thought I was completely broken. I had never even imagined loving anyone else - having to love someone else.

But here I was. 14 days away from my wedding to a man I didn’t love. A part of me felt like such an asshole. Marrying a man who I knew I’d never love. But Jackson had his faults. He raised his voice too much. He never opened my door…not since our third date at least. He worked all the time. He regularly forgot important events like anniversaries and birthdays.

We started dating 10 months, 1 week, and 4 days after Rafe broke up with me.

Even though most people said it was time to move on it still felt too soon to me. 3 years later and it still feels too soon sometimes.

But here I am. At my bridal shower. Wearing a silver ring when I haven’t touched a piece of silver jewelry since I was 9.

I was opening gifts when only one remained. A small black box with no tag attached.

“Who is this one from?” I ask the crowd of giddy women surrounding me. They all share confused looks. Shrugging and comments like “It’s not mine” falling from their lips. This only furthered my confusion as I opened the box.

I gasped.

Inside was a beautiful - gold - ring. It was my dream ring.

“Oh my gosh it’s just beautiful!” My best friend Grace said.

“Jackson must have picked it out for you since yours is missing.” Grace says causing me to furrow my brows.

I looked down to my left hand and noticed the absence of my ring.

Since when was that gone?

��Oh yeah…I guess he did.” I smile and tuck the box away. Making a mental note to ask Jackson later. Even though I knew he didn’t get it for me, a part of me hoped.

As my friends went on and on about how beautiful this wedding would be and how happy they were…I couldn’t help but wish their joy was infectious.

At least someone is excited right?

12 DAYS UNTIL THE WEDDING DAY: BACHELORETTE

I was sitting in an expensive restaurant in downtown Charleston sipping a cocktail I’m pretty sure costs more than my salad. Jackson and I had decided to have our Bachelorette/Bachelor parties in the same city in case anything happened. He was out having a guys night while I was out with my girls. I hadn’t had this much fun doing anything wedding related well ever.

“It’s not a coincidence that you think that and Jackson isn’t here” a little voice inside my brain taunts me. But I push it down. Along with the bile rising in my throat. From the alcohol or the impending commitment of forever to a person who I know I don’t love - which, I’m not sure.

“How are you babe?” My friend Ava says as she turns her entire body to face me. I was tracing shapes on the condensation on the outside of my barely touched drink while I tuned out the rest of the chatter.

“I’m wonderful how about you Ava?” I smile and meet her eye. She gives an unconvinced smile and repeats her question: “Come on. How are you really? Cold feet? We can get on the next flight out of America just say the word.” She says with a laugh. And I know she’s joking but part of me is screaming “YES!” Inside of my head.

I laugh and shake my head.

“No cold feet. Just lukewarm maybe.”

Lukewarm. It’s funny cause that’s basically a word that sums up the entirety of Jackson and I’s relationship. I hadn’t felt fire, sparks, passion…any of it. Not since-

“Lukewarm is okay. Marriage is big. But…you’ll be okay.” Ava says cutting off my thoughts. And I can see her trying to hide her real feelings. She wants me to talk to him. Not him. Him.

The him who left me in a hotel room in Key West on what was supposed to be our 8 year anniversary trip. The him who wouldn’t stop sending letters to my house. The him who sent me 127 texts and 87 voicemails since last Tuesday. Which is apparently the day the Cameron’s wedding invitation arrived. I wasn’t going to invite them but I felt I needed to. Sarah and I were still friends and I adored Wheezie. The him who took up every inch of my heart. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself he didn’t.

LATER THAT NIGHT AT THE HOTEL…

I entered my private suite in the hotel. I had gotten my drunk pack of bridesmaids back to their rooms…well the ones that were sleeping in their own rooms tonight. I had my own room this trip. My bridesmaid Lila insisted on it in case Jackson wanted to sneak over from his hotel…that’s what she said. But I knew she secretly wanted to give me my space away from the wedding buzz and events. I was grateful for that.

Until I was not.

Because the second I opened my door and ripped off my crown that said “BRIDE” I looked up and saw a man sitting on the couch in the suites living room. His elbows resting on his large thighs as he hung his head.

He looks up when I walk in.

I should’ve been scared…but I knew exactly who it was.

I flicked on the light. “Rafe what- what are you doing here?” I say in half anger half disbelief. OBX was at least 7 hours from here.

What the hell was he thinking?

“I had to see you…” I shake my head as he stands up and walks towards me. I take a step back.

“No. No. You can’t do this to me.” He walks closer. I put out my hands. Placing them on his chest to keep distance between us.

“Please just hear me out….” He gently grips my wrists that are placed on his chest. He paused for a second. Looking into my eyes to see if I would stop him again. I let him continue.

“I know…I know I have no right to be here. No right to do this. But please just listen to what I have to say…” He sighed before continuing. “You can’t marry him. Baby you can’t….I’m begging you. He doesn’t treat you right. You know that. I have so many regrets in my life…but I’d live them all over a million times if it meant I never let you go. I regret that every breath I take.”

My eyes gloss over. His touch was so gentle unlike Jackson’s. He didn’t raise his voice at me. He didn’t do anything but love me exactly the way I wanted while also being everything I needed.

He sighs seeing my eyes tear up. “Baby don’t- don’t cry….it’s just-….I can tell you’re not happy.” He says as he wipes a tear that escaped my eyes.

“I-I’m happy…” I say weakly.

But I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince. Me or him?

He sighs. Bringing a hand up to my cheek to wipe away another tear. His hand not moving. “You’re not. I can see it. I know you…I see it in your face when you look at him. Those beautiful eyes have never told me a lie.”

“You don’t know me anymore…” another lie. He knew me. He knew me. He knew my coffee order at every coffee shop on the island. He knew my favorite songs and the lyrics to all of them. He knew my favorite movie. He knew my favorite animal.

He laughs softly in disbelief.

“I don’t know you? I know you. I know your order at every Mexican restaurant on the island. I can recite your coffee orders in my sleep. I know every word to your favorite Taylor Swift songs. Your favorite movie is Beauty and the Beast and you love the soundtrack. You love penguins and you’re a dog person. I know you baby.”

I cry harder as he recites everything about me. On surface it’s not much. Small talk topics he could’ve figured out from social media. But it goes so much deeper. He knows what makes me tick. What I need when I’m sad. How to cheer me up even through tears.

If only he could do that now…

“Does that asshole even know your favorite Jane Austen book? Huh? Does he? Cause I do. And it’s Emm-“

“Stop! Just stop Rafe! Just- just go! Why-why are you doing this me? This isn’t fair.” I say wiping my tears. I was full on crying now.

“I can’t just sit back and watch you marry someone who’s not going to make you happy. You deserve so much better. You don’t deserve someone who’s never there for you, or doesn’t treat you well. You deserve someone who treats you exactly how you deserve to be treated - like the woman I love. I know I was stupid to let you go. I was young - and I thought I wanted freedom, but I was wrong. I haven’t known a minute of freedom since you left. I miss you, I miss us. And I need you more than I need air to breathe…”

“Please. Don’t marry him. Please baby…” He’s begging now. I’ve never seen Rafe Cameron beg for anything.

“Rafe I’m-I’m getting married in 12 days I can’t-“ I cut myself off with a sob.

He pulls me against his chest. I don’t protest as I cry harder. Pretty much sobbing now.

I clutch onto the end of his shirt. “I have to marry him Rafe…”

“Why? Why do you have to marry him? You know this isn’t what you want.” He says pleading with me. Running a soothing hand up and down my back. Providing me more comfort than I’ve known all of my relationship with Jackson.

“I know.” I say softly. My voice hoarse.

“Then don’t do it. Don’t marry him. I made the wrong choice a few years ago, but I’m here now. I want you not some false pretense of freedom. I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted. I can give you a ring that you actually like, and a house that we build together. I’ll give you anything you want, just don’t marry him. Be with me.” I pause when he mentions the ring. I look down to the gold ring on my left hand. Silently piecing things together.

“Did you send me a new ring?” I look back up him. Brows furrowed. My face puffy from crying. When I meet his eyes I see how utterly heartbroken he looks. It breaks me a little bit.

“I-uh…yeah I did.” He says. And as he confirms my theory I step away from him. Letting out sobs as I turn my back towards him. One hand cradling my stomach as the other covers my mouth.

“Hey - hey what’s wrong. Talk to me.” He says as he walks up behind me placing a soothing hand on my shoulder letting his hands rub me gently.

“Y-you remembered the ring.” I had shown him the type of ring I wanted back when I thought we were going to get married.

I was so stupid at 20. Or maybe I was just naive.

“Of course I remembered the ring. You showed it to me a million times. I know it was your dream ring and I couldn’t bear the idea of him giving you something you didn’t actually want…” He explains with a confused expression. Not quite sure why it was hurting me so bad.

The thought that he had gotten me a ring I wanted even though he didn’t want me marrying Jackson made me want to cry…and vomit.

“I-I can’t-“ My legs give out and I drop to my knees. Rafe immediately goes down with me. Pulling me into his chest. I was now cradled in his lap as he rocked me gently while I cried.

“Please don’t cry baby….it hurts me so bad.”

That night I fell asleep in Rafes arms.

THIRD PERSON POV:

As Rafe brought her to her hotel bed and tucked her in he couldn’t help but feel the urge to get in bed and hold her as she slept. But he knew how awful she’d feel if she woke up next to him knowing she betrayed Jackson. So he left a note next to her bedside and pressed a kiss to her forehead before leaving. The words “I love you” mumbled softly as she slept.

ELEVEN DAYS UNTIL THE WEDDING DAY: THE NEXT MORNING.

THIRD PERSON POV:

As Jackson walks into the hotel room of his future wife he can’t help the guilt eating at him. He brings in the takeout bags and starts to place it onto a tray.

He takes out the water and Advil he got from the pharmacy and brings it over to her bedside.

As he’s placing the hangover cure on her nightstand a paper written on hotel stationery catches his eye.

He reads through the paper.

“All my love, R.C.”

He folds up the note and places it back in his pocket before going back to the takeout bags. Ready to act as if nothing happened.

FIRST PERSON POV

I wake up with an empty feeling in my stomach. The same one I’ve had for 3 years, 7 months, 2 weeks, and 6 days.

I hear someone walking around the suite and as much as I know it’s probably Jackson…a part of me hopes…

Seconds later Jackson comes into my room with a smile. Holding a tray of food.

Odd. He’s never done sweet gestures for me like this.

“Good morning my love…I thought this would help cure the hangover. I ordered breakfast from that place you like downtown. You always talk about how much you wish we had one back at home so…” As he explains his reasoning for being here the sick feeling grows in my stomach. And I wish it was hangover sickness. I felt like such crap. Here he was being so sweet to me and I cried in the arms of another man last night.

I look around the room for any evidence Rafe was here. Feeling slightly disappointed but relieved that I didn’t find anything.

“Have fun last night?” Jackson says as he picks a blueberry off my plate.

“Uh yeah….it was really fun.” I smile and lie. But he can’t tell the difference so he nods his head before getting up and kissing my forehead.

“Well I have to go into work early tomorrow so the guys and I are heading back home but…I love you.” He says. He rarely says those three words. And that itself wouldn’t be weird. We’re getting married of course we tell each other we love each other. But paired with the weird domestic wake-up I had this morning it left an icky feeling in my stomach. But I smiled and nodded. Swallowing my food before replying.

“Okay…love you too.”

TWO DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING DAY: THE REHEARSAL DINNER

“Have you seen my gold earrings?” I ask Jackson. Walking around our shared bathroom while he was shaving. We were getting ready for our rehearsal dinner before we left for the wedding venue in the morning.

“Which earrings?” He asks. Not pausing his movements of shaving his face.

“The ones I always-“ I huff in defeat knowing it’s no use. I’ve worn those earrings everyday for the past 9 years. They were Rafe’s 2 year anniversary gift to me.

I walk around the bedroom looking under a few things before my phone pings distracting me for a second. I walk over to it and turn the screen over to see an Instagram DM message request.

“Hey…I want to say I am so sorry to do this to you. I know you’re getting married in 2 days but there’s something you should know…”

THREE HOURS UNTIL WEDDING DAY: THE NIGHT BEFORE THE WEDDING

I was pacing around the cabin of my private room on the property of our venue.

The venue was a family owned property on the mainland. It was gorgeous. Jackson was in the cabin across the venue in the Groom’s cabin. I was staying in the Bridal lodge.

I felt nauseous. My throat felt like it was closing and the white matching way too expensive PJ set I was gifted especially for tonight felt like it was constricting my air. The cabin suddenly felt stuffy and like the walls were about to close in at any minute. I was all alone.

I pull out my phone quickly going to the only number I had on speed dial.

He picks up on the first ring - he always does.

RAFES POV

The whole day I had been sulking at home watching football and drinking whiskey. My lab Daisy sitting by my side as she watched me drown my sorrows.

Was she really going to marry him?

I had dozed off for a few hours before a phone ringing woke me up.

I look at the screen and immediately picked up.

“I need you.” I was standing up running to my shoes before the sentence was even over.

“I’m coming baby…I’m on my way just stay put okay?” Her shaky voice was breaking my heart. I grabbed my keys and made an hour long drive less than 40 minutes.

FIRST PERSON POV

I was sitting with my knees tucked to my chest. My eyes puffy and crying, sitting at the edge of the bed when Rafe barged in. He immediately dropped to his knees next to me. Pulling me into his lap. Cradling me as he rocked me back and forth.

“I’m here baby…I’m here.” He repeats the words like a mantra to ease my mind. And it does. But it doesn’t fill the pit in my stomach that seems to have taken a permanent residence.

“Talk to me baby…please you’re scaring me…” I could hear the fear in his voice. And I felt like such a dick. I called my ex boyfriend to help me the night before my wedding to another man.

I’m the worst.

“I-I’m so sorry….I didn’t know who else to call.” I get out between sobs. He shakes his head. Grabbing my face with both of his hands.

“Shhh….I just need you to tell me what you need. I’m right here. Just tell me how to help. Okay?”

How does he always know what to say? It’s ridiculous.

“I need out of this…” And at that sentence Rafe was pretty sure he could’ve cried a happy tear. But he needed to be sure.

“Out of what baby?” He knew. But he needed to know.

“You know what.” I pause before continuing. Sniffling and wiping my tears. “Jackson cheated on me. His bachelor party…she texted me the night our rehearsal dinner. She was their bartender in Charleston. But that’s not even the worst part…” I shake my head in disbelief at myself. “The worst part is I don’t even care. My fiancée cheated on me less than two weeks before our wedding. And I can’t find it in me to care.”

I knew I never loved Jackson. And that’s part of why I was marrying him. Because I knew that if I never loved him he’d never be able to hurt me…not like Rafe did at least.

I continue:

“I’m literally incapable of loving him because every inch of my heart belongs to you. And it kills me. I should be devastated right now. But- but all I can think is that I need you. And it’s so cold and you hate driving at night but this is the second time you’ve driven over an hour for me in two weeks.”

In reality it didn’t take Rafe an hour to get here. But he let me continue anyways.

“I’m terrible-“ He cuts me off.

“No. You’re perfect. I know you think you have to settle for this but you don’t. I’m not leaving you. I’ll always be here. Whether or not you get married in 12 hours I’m always going to be there when you need me. I don’t care what it is or where you are. You call and I’m there. You need me…and I’m right here baby. I’ll always be right here. I won’t let anybody hurt you.”

I look at him as he says that. And suddenly nothing about this makes sense. Why am I getting married to Jackson?

He sucks.

I stand up. Grabbing Rafes hands pulling him up with me.

“We need to leave.” I look around the room at my things. Rafe immediately nods and starts packing my things into my suitcase with me.

“Where do you need to go? I’ll take you anywhere baby. Car? Train? Plane? Boat? Fuck I’ll swim across the Atlantic for you baby.”

I pause and glance up at him from across my suitcase that we’re both knelt over. I meet his gaze. His eyes show me nothing but seriousness. Standing 10 toes behind his words. I wrap an arm around his neck and place an arm on his shoulder to steady myself as I lean in and kiss him.

He’s so taken aback but he kisses back after realizing this isn’t another one of his dreams that have felt like nightmares these past 3 years.

I pull away and he slightly sighs at the disconnect.

“Anywhere that’s not here. Just need to be with you. Please.”

2 HOURS UNTIL THE WEDDING DAY: AN HOUR LATER ON THE WAY TO THE AIRPORT

I look around the room once more to make sure I have everything.

“You got everything you need baby?” He asks me and I nod.

“I’m gonna take this to the car.” I was carrying my pillow and blanket I had brought. Rafe insisted on carrying my bags. He nods but stays in his place before speaking up.

“Okay I’ll be there in a second I’m gonna take one last look around.” I nod before walking to his truck and getting inside.

THIRD PERSON POV:

Rafe pulls the object out of his pocket. Placing it on the dresser.

He grabs her bags taking one last look at the wedding dress hanging on the closet door before shutting the door behind him.

The silver ring shimmering in the moonlight sitting on the dresser where he left it.

FIRST PERSON POV

Rafe gets back in the car and looks over at me.

“If you change your mind I don’t mind-“ I cut him off.

“I’m not changing my mind. Now drive.” He smiles before putting the truck in reverse.

As we drive for a few minutes a question plagues my mind: Why didn’t he say anything the morning after the bachelorette party?

“Can I ask you something?” He glances over at me. He had a comforting hand on my thigh as he drove.

“Anything.” I smile at his answer while look at my lap before continuing.

“Why didn’t you say anything the morning after that night in Charleston? Not a text or a note or anything? I know you didn’t have to I just…hated waking up with no evidence that you had even been there.” Rafe’s brows furrow.

I did leave a note. He thought to himself.

“Baby I left a note on your dresser…didn’t you see it?” He says confused.

“No…the next morning I woke up and Jackson was…” I trailed off. Suddenly piecing everything together. Rafe seemed to as well. His grip on the wheel tightened and his jaw clenched.

“I left a note. I promise. But it’s not anything I won’t tell you to your face everyday for the rest of our lives. So don’t worry about it, pretty. Okay? I love you, baby.”

“I love you, Rafe.” And I truly meant it.

On the way to the airport we sang along to Taylor Swift songs we both knew. And suddenly the pit in my stomach was slowly being filled with laughter and the way he didn’t even ask me what I wanted when we stopped at McDonald’s.

To be loved it to be seen. And I had to have been invisible to Jackson.

23 MINUTES UNTIL THE WEDDING DAY: AT THE AIRPORT 11:37 PM

“Flight 237 is now boarding. This is the final call for passengers to LaGuardia Airport.”

Rafe looks at me as we get ready to board the plane.

“You ready?” He sticks out his hand. I smile at him.

“Yeah…I’m ready.” I take his hand and lean up and kiss him as we walk onto the plane.

I glance down at the gold ring on my finger. And I realize no one will ever see me as clearly and perfectly as Rafe sees me. And that’s all I could ask for.

“Hey” he looks back at me. Glancing up from his sports magazine. His brows raised waiting for me to answer.

“I love you.” I continue and smile. His gaze softens and he pulls me into another quick kiss. I hated PDA but I didn’t care. Not with him.

“I love you more than I can even describe.” He pauses before continuing. “If I loved you less I might be able to talk about it more.”

I don’t know a lot…but I know I’ve found my person. And everything’s okay. And for the first time in 3 years, 7 months, 4 weeks, and 2 days…I felt like I could breathe.

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