#^^ fucking insane album. Music that makes you address it

[seafoam-taide]

GO MYSOUL BPD PAGES

Avoiding abandonment/fear of being alone

Wildly unstable sense of identity

Sui/SH as self punishment/threats

Intense, unpredictable shifts in emotion with a center on sudden anger. Less lyrics for this one mostly bc all soul lyrics are like this

Hashtag dissociation, derealization, paranoia and spiraling

Mysoul design leak so that this post isn't just words. Go mysoul

[coulson-is-an-avenger]

still thinking about The Castaway and subsequent songs 'Pip' and 'The Squall' on Daniel Emond's KTW album. thinking about how he missed probably one of the easiest opportunities he had to actually critique the fucking book😭

if his real intention with this album was "Moby Dick but it actually addresses the in-text racism and more explicitly condemns it", he could have EASILY had the castaway end with Queequeg and Pip pointing out how callous and horrifying it was to have Stubb narrate what happened to Pip as if she didn't cause it, as if Stubb didn't boast about leaving her to die and then follow through with it. Stubb's lyric of "Can you see God's foot on the loom?" could have been followed with "and you'd like to think yourself God, wouldn't you?"

for a song that has a whole section where Queequeg talks about "bigots running wild", it's actually insane that the narrative entirely removes Stubb of blame and makes what happened to Pip an accident, and then gives Stubb a sillygoofy solo song about living life as a musical RIGHT AFTER Pip's ballad about losing her identity and nearly her life.

Pip doesn't even get to speak about what happened to her. In fact, it's removed from the album ENTIRELY and only in the live version are we told that Pip nearly drowned because a squid grabbed her. 🙄

As a tangent, sooooo many adaptations put work into making Stubb sympathetic, or at least less racist, less gleefully sadistic, and for what! so the audience can comfortably relate to the white men in power? so we can focus on blaming Ahab as the single point of tragedy instead of acknowledging that the entire whaling industry is full of horrible fucked up people? that's literally ishmael's whole point in book; that the higher you go in the whaling hierarchy, the whiter and crueler it gets. Hell, in real life, the officers on whaleships were KNOWN for terrorizing their crews bloody; it was even encouraged!! that's one of the unique things about mobydick – that Ahab and Starbuck are less violent by FAR than their real life counterparts.

Stubb is not!!! Starbuck actively has to order Stubb to stop beating a crewmate at one point!!!! Stubb is not anyone's fucking friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't get it. why do people need him to be blameless so bad. he leaves a child to drown EXPLICITLY because his body is worth less than a whale's. how does anyone engage with that section of text and not go "yeah this guy is fucking evil and should be treated as such"???

[aropride]

i have been deeply appreciating ur TGI posting and was wondering what ur fave songs off of it are !! - mare

HI MARE im free from academia for the day (FINALLY) so i can answer this yayayaayy

as of right now. and this is in album order And im about to list off like a good third of the album sorry in advance but: only girl living in la, dog years, letter to god 1974, letter to god 1983, darwinism, lonely is the muse, and life of the spider

first of all. only girl living in la is an INSANE way to start an album. Like i knew i was absolutely in for it seeing the track list and that we were Starting with a 6 minute long song i was like Oh she loves me specifically she knew id been tormented by songs that are 2 minutes long for too long. i dont think ive ever finished the first song on an album and been, like, scared to listen to the rest of it before (good thing)

dog years. i canteven say anything yet Like theres no words. probably one of my favorites out of my favorites

letter to god 1974 and letter to god 1983 are twins to me. (well triplets shoutout letter to god 1998 no disrespect to my girl its just the first two are my faves personally) Thank u halsey for addressing the "wanting to get really sick so people would pay attention to you" to "getting really sick and it turns out people kinda dont gaf if ur in ur 20s about it" pipeline

hometown- is anyone else trying so hard to escape their hometown or is it just me and halsey and gerard "i know im never getting out of belleville" way. also i love her voice on this one

darwinism- i was reading it as being about physical disability but apparently she said it was about neurodivergence either way is anybody else feeling ostracized from the rest of society or is it just me and halsey out here

lonely is the muse- INSANE FUCKING SONG vocally lyrically musically everything. when i found out there was gonna be a Whole Album and lonely is the muse was on it i realized i was going to die.and then i did. <3

life of the spider- i knew there was a tori amos song on the album and the one tori amos song im really familiar with is me and a gun so of course i was terrified .and i was right to be. love a song i cant listen to without having a panic attack one of my favorite genres. insanely haunting song i cant really listen to this one casually yet or possibly ever i have to like sit down and prepare. this morning i saw a spider in my bathroom and started crying. tomorrow more of the same. "favorite" not in the way where i listen to it a lot favorite in the way where i can barely listen to it at all

also one more thing i feel like in general the album is organized very well does that make sense. like the songs are in a specific order that is good and makes sense. only girl living in la -> ego -> dog years -> letter to god 1974 is an insane run of songs generally let alone first on the album but also it like. makes sense why theyre in that order. also darwinism -> lonely is the muse -> arsonist -> life of the spider i can say the same of. like yeah thats the exact order those songs should go in. this is really not a Shuffling Album to me at ALL theres a specific order they all go in and i really like that Bc half the time These Days it feels like everythings so focused on having 2 minute long songs with 15 second clips that blow up on tiktok that its always nice to have an album thats like. Ok thankgod they actually give a fuck about this and its not optimized for social media analytics

thank u for reading My essay ^___^<3 u sent this 5 hours ago when i was working on my school stuff and i waslike oh thank god i get to talk about music later. A little treat for meeee to rewind and such.And then immediately i wrote A lot of sentences but, like, for fun this time so it counts as Rewinding

[greenerteacups]

Merry Swiftmas! I saw your note at the end of the most recent chapter. What are you Tortured Poet Department thoughts and feelings?

Literally just got back from a listening party so this is all coming in VERY fresh and unprocessed but first reactions:

The unfortunate exigencies of Industry Shit have kind of hurt Swift creatively because (1) she's been taught she can have her cake and eat it too with the Grammy-winning 15-track sonically cohesive tone album if she just drops it separately as the first act of a 30-song behemoth deluxe edition/multiverse of bonus tracks, and (2) the Vault Tracks have taught her that fans actually do want to hear every single thing she writes, even if she (rightly) might have thought it wasn't release-quality 5-10 years ago. Long story short there is a good album in here but it needs to be TIGHTLY pruned out because a lot of these songs are either underwritten or underdeveloped or both. She should've focused her energy on improving a smaller set (i.e. cleaning out some of the clunker lines, tightening melodies, giving each song its own identity) and cutting like, more or less the last third of the tracks. That being said! I did like a lot of it.

I also think some people fail to understand Swift is a pop artist making pop music. When we say she's a good lyricist, we don't mean she's fucking Samuel Coleridge, it means she uses the medium of a pop song successfully to communicate a mood or an emotional experience. Pop is vernacular; it's supposed to evoke the kind of language you hear every day. Not surprisingly, I find her at her best when she's not trying to affect some kind of heightened poetic mood. Songs like "Would've, Could've, Should've" straddle this line pretty well for me, because it's not affected, it's just... intelligently thought-through. It's a single metaphor, taken from multiple angles, explained well, and set to a great melody. It's not trying to impress you, but it still does. Anyway.

Miscellaneous/specific thoughts:

"Guilty as Sin?" is my favorite, it's going to be one of my most played songs of the year, both for reasons of Oh Shit It Me and because I'm just straight up in love with the sound of this motherfucker. No analysis it makes the happy juices in the brain go

Other favorites: So Long London, Fresh Out The Slammer, The Bolter, Daddy I Love Him

"thank you aimee" is a reprise of "Mean" addressed semi-obviously to Kim K/the Collective Nation of Haters of Taylor Swift, which was a weak diss track when it was a teenager singing it and has not improved in the mouth of a 30-something artist

"But Daddy I Love Him" is conversely a very successful ironic reprise of "Love Story," and I'm fond of it because it reads like a love letter to the girls who grew up on that song

Interesting strains of Reputation on "Little Old Me," I feel like there was an earlier draft of this song that went harder on the Bad Blood/Don't Blame Me vibe, but she's still scarred from the critical reaction to reputation and hasn't fully gone there since. Which is why someday I will throttle the Pitchfork editor with my bare hands

Florida!!! feels like it needed some more production besides Jack Antonoff sitting on the synths with a jackhammer but I do like it. The bridge/second half sounds a lot like a Bleachers song (compliment)

"So High School" was sweet and I was surprised by how much I liked that and "The Alchemy," both of which are fun but ultimately simple and sentimental — which is GOOD to be clear I don't go looking for Proust in my pop music, and simplicity can be a virtue

However, I scream-laughed in a full room when I heard the line "you can ball and I know Aristotle," and I look forward to thinking about it once a day for the next forever. Insane. So good. Also, like — Taylor, have you read the Politics? You are legally obligated to tell us now if you have read the Politics.

[thedemostop]

Who is the Fastest Rapper of All Time:  Icons of Music

Rappers that can move quickly have evolved into a whole new genre. In the early years, rapping became increasingly popular due to artists such as The Treacherous Three. Rapid-fire lyrics in songs like "The New Rap Language" make it hard for peers to understand. Since then, fast rap has come out of the underground to rule the charts.

 Rap music is currently a well-respected and ever-evolving genre. Rap today exhibits not just technical excellence but also representation, story, and pure lyrical talent.

We shall investigate who is the fastest rapper in the world this article.

List of Fastest Rapper in the World

Eminem – 10.65 syllables per second

Full name: Marshall Bruce Mathers III

Birth date and place: October 17, 1972, in St. Joseph, Missouri, USA.

The fastest rap song is 10.65 syllables (or 7.23 words) per second in “Godzilla.”

Hit songs:

“Love the Way You Lie”

“Rap God”

“Godzilla”

As a youngster, Eminem went through adversity and suffering. His breakthrough came with the release of "The Slim Shady LP," early in 1999. For the multi-platinum album, he was honored with two Grammy Awards and four MTV Video Music Awards.

With his unexpectedly successful album "Music to Be Murdered By" in the beginning of 2020, Eminem became the first musician to achieve ten consecutive number-one albums. Because of his sincerity and ability to rhyme, Eminem is on the Who is the fastest rapper list. These qualities have had a lasting impact on the music industry.

Crucified – 28.9 syllables per second

Full name: Richard Dickie Lee Mason

Birth date and place: June 18, 1987, in New Braunfels, Texas

The fastest rap song is 28.9 syllables per second on ‘Powered Up’ from the album’ Water to Wine.’

Hit songs:

“That Music” from the album ‘Sing to the Morning Light’

“Wicked” featuring Twisted Insane from ‘The Birth of Tragedy’

“Still we breathe” featuring Bizzy Bone, also from ‘The Birth of Tragedy.’

When Crucified was just fifteen years old, he composed his first song, which launched his musical career more than twenty years ago. His songs usually address themes like drugs, murder, and the occult, which includes aliens. Crucified, who is not a well-known rapper, has made a name for him on the list of the fastest rappers in the world.

Outsider – 24 syllables per second

Full name: Shin Ok-cheol

Birth date and place: March 21, 1983, in Seoul, South Korea

Fastest rap song: 24 syllables per second in “Loner”

Hit songs:

“Loner (외톨이)” from the album ‘Maestro’ which held the #1 spot on both the Mnet and Melon music charts for more than five weeks.

“Speed Star” from his debut EP ‘Come Outside.’

“Hero (주인공)” and “Attitude Needed When Breaking Up (이별할 때 필요한 자세)” from his third album ‘Hero’

In 2004, Outsider—a rapper from South Korea—made his underground debut with the release of his EP "Come Outside." His second album, "Maestro," was released in 2009 and was somewhat successful. He is renowned for combining hip-hop with a classical touch and speed rapping. He is thought to be the second fastest rapper in the world.

Tech N9ne – 15.2 syllables per second

Full name: Aaron Dontez Yates

Birth date and place: November 8, 1971, in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

Fastest rap song: 15.2 syllables per second in “Takin’ Online Orders”

Hit songs:

“Caribou Lou”

“Worldwide Choppers”

“Fragile”

Tech N9ne was a part of Black Mafia in the early 1990s before he started Strange Music. The trio, who were 57th Street Rogue Dog Villains, rose to stardom with their song "Let's Get Fucked Up". Tech N9ne's fast-rhyming, chopper-style music earned him the nickname "TEC-9 semi-automatic handgun" from rapper Black Walt. He later clarified the underlying meaning of the phrase, stating that "tech" stands for technique and "nine" for the quantity of complements, and that the name itself is a representation of the full rhyme scheme.

NoClue – 14.1 syllables per second

Full name: Ricky Raphel Brown

Birth date and place: January 28, 1985, in Seattle, Washington, USA.

Fastest rap song: 14.1 syllables per second in “New West”

Hit songs:

“Caribou Lou”

“Worldwide Choppers”

“Fragile”

No clue began rapping when he was four years old, and by the time he was nine, he was writing his own rhymes. In the early 2000s, he co-founded the independent label Strange Music, which launched his career. In January 2005, he became well-known for breaking the Guinness World Record with his 14.1 words per second rap. NoClue, his stage moniker, implies that everyone was "aware" of the impact he was about to create.

Busta Rhymes – 12.8 syllables per second

Full name: Trevor George Smith Jr.

Birth date and place: May 20, 1972, in the East Flatbush neighborhood of Brooklyn, New York.

Fastest rap song: 12.8 syllables per second in the song Hello.

Hit songs:

“Woo-Hah!! Got You All in Check”

“It’s a Party”

“Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See”

Busta Rhymes's career took off as one of the New School's founding Leaders. After the band disbanded, he had a successful solo career. His debut album, "The Coming," was released in 1996 and resulted him a Grammy nomination. Chuck D of Public Enemy is the one who gave Busta Rhymes his stage name. George "Buster" Rhymes, a legendary wide receiver in the CFL and NFL, served as the model for his name. He was dubbed the fastest rapper of all time for his intense and exciting live performances.

Conclusion

The fastest rapper is determined by a variety of factors, including syllables per second, consistency within a verse or song, and clarity. Over the years, a number of rappers have acknowledged or been recognized for their exceptionally quick rhymes.

[mrsfezziwig]

KQ - The Reason Ateez Don't Win Awards: (Pt 1)

n.b.(Good God I am actually scared of what reaction this may get from other Atiny but I feel like it is something I really need to address!)

Ateez are incredible;

as humans, as a group, as vocalists and as rappers, but their stand out ability comes in the way they perform and dance. I have never seen a group like these eight men when it comes to their star power; all of them could probably be in The Demon Line now they have matured, especially Yunho, who feels more relaxed on stage, more intense and he is most definitely not holding himself back anymore (That YunGi clothes grab in the Wonderland tour version, anyone? This Mrs Fezziwig was fanning herself like a Georgian Regency lady with a hand fan and blaming it on her age - hot flushes, you know... Oof! ). But anyone with a braincell can look at the lack of acknowledgement of their talents in terms of end of year award show nominations and wonder what the hell is going on?! It is incredibly irritating when people who deserve to have their hard work and talents celebrated are passed over again and again.

Now, this is where I just know I am going to be side-eyed, possibly bombastically, because I need to make comparisons in order to make my points as this is only about my opinion, and things I see other Atiny discussing on socials. In addition everyone knows how close the members of these two groups are as friends, hence why I am risking my sanity to say it:

The Comparison - Stray Kids

What makes Stray Kids so well awarded isn't just their agency, which has absolutely helped, with their money, organisation and longevity in the idol industry, but there's also the fact that they have practically carte blanche when it comes to the music they make. No body on this good, green Earth can ignore the sheer genius that is 3RACHA and their most common 'making-tweaks-for-perfection collaborator', Versachoi, when it comes to their abilities to write, compose and produce their songs.

Every emotion in the human pantheon of feeling is out there in a song available for fans to discover from their catalogue. Their forte is the musical freedom all the members contribute to the group.

SKZ hits harder because they are performing their own emotion out in song and dance, having three geniuses in one group is fated, no one can ever tell me otherwise... However, Ateez doesn't have that extra layer of connection even though the boys are still insanely versatile and make it work.

That's not the fault of the members, BBTrippin or even on some level the collective Edenary, they're all being told the same thing by the agency. It lies in the fact that those at the top want it to be this way.

I don't say this as a diss against Edenary, and I have yet to find a skip song on their albums. It is all impactful, musically, there is nothing but hit after hit on those but the lyrics just aren't up to par. Guerilla was about a fictional revolution, Halazia was about a fictional revolution from the outsider perspective, Bouncy was about an, um... fictional revolution and Crazy For-... Yeah, I am going to stop here.

KQ CEO-nim, I respectfully say:

Holy Fuck... Drop the fucking storyline into the b-side! Yep, you heard me right - Drop. The. Fucking. Storyline. From. The. Title. Tracks! Plllleeeeaaaaasssseee?

I am pretty sure all the inhabitants of Dimensions A and Z, and how ever many other of these buggers are hiding in the mind of the planners, shall collectively gasp dramatically 'Blasphemy!'

What a cardinal sin to suggest such a thing!!! Pre-debut Atiny are clutching their pearls and Diary Version albums as I speak such foul utterances, wondering how I could possibly have the very cheek of it to say such a thing! Do you think the boys will be proud of the dramatic delivery here? 😂

Yes, there are some moving and heart-wrenching b-sides on Ateez albums that are ignored for the scale of interdimensional time Pirates, which makes it increasingly, painfully obvious that those emotions are rare in their title tracks. So, I will make the point I've been moving up to with the comparison:

KQ need to let loose the reins

I first encountered Ateez in my initial journey with kpop in 2021 and I was in my 'BTS got me hooked, Stray Kids toppled them with Hellevator from my focus, and Ateez seems interesting...' era

Being 38 I felt kinda like some sort of sicko for finding guys I could have birthed attractive and I still have twinges of this feeling occasionally. Thankfully, none of the 5th Gen children are anything other than cute little babies to me, ones that I want to tut at, throwing appropriate clothing their way and ground them for going out in such tiny skirts and dresses. As you can imagine, finding Deja Vu as my first Ateez song sent me screeching dramatically away from the group, hands flapping and looking for a man my age to hide behind [thank you, Rain; you were extremely helpful during my mid-life-ish crisis].

So I continued on my way along up the endurance hike that is the Stray Kids path, again feeling slightly creeped out at myself for buying Oddinary, but also in absolute awe at the music these eight guys made. I still don't have a fucking clue what their storyline is, although it is coming more into focus thanks to the most recent SKZFLIX but that's kinda positive as it allows for their flexibility in terms of what they say and how it's performed and perceived.

At the core, I like their lyrical content better than Ateez, purely due to the fact it's visceral in its emotional impact. With a leader like Bang Chan, I haven't been surprised to find so many amazing fans out there too. Older STAYs I chat with on Discord have been my rock and support as I admitted my feelings of discomfort at the age thing and we figured out it was my STBX husband and his reaction to my new found hobby and likes that left me feeling so icky.

With their help, I finally got the courage up to accept that we were done after 20 years and I haven't missed him except for one occasion [I was facing a general anaesthetic to have a massive abscess on my jaw drained, all alone in a hospital about an hour from home with nobody at all to hold my hand] since he left in March. Every time I faced a backwards step emotionally because of my Ehler-Danlos Syndrome and my limitations, they were there to check on me.

This community is what makes Kpop the best rabbit hole I ever plunged into - stay away from Twitter (No, Elon, it isn't called 'X', it's called Twitter!) and the fans are such magnificently, genuine hearted people who just get me! For the first time in my life my sense of humour wasn't misinterpreted and rather slotted into place like this was where I was meant to be all along. When I found this tribe I was so lonely it was frightful, and it's only by being who I am today with their love and support I can look back at that version of myself and cry for her desperation and black-fog draped soul.

99% of the people in that chat are actually StayTiny, and they were discussing Halazia, insisting I really need to watch the MV. So I did, and as thankful I am for BTS getting me into Kpop and Stray Kids for finding me at my lowest then giving me my coping song in Voices, Ateez overtook them all in one MV. There is something about these guys that I connected with. That began my twisted path in April 2023 in learning names, songs and personality types that lead me to December and the drop of Crazy Form. Yet they may now be my Ult group, Stray Kids are my foundation in the world of idols. And no, I still can't handle Deja Vu no matter how many times I have tried to make it happen. So far I can get to the end of Yunho's opening but I can't take San with that haircut and eyebrows without cringing and backing out, which means I've progressed beyond the sexual feel of the song and am now firmly entrenched in 'Second-hand Embarrassment Station'.

Ateez could be much bigger if...

Despite the connection I found with these seven crackheads plus Jongho, instantly was thrown off by the incessant focus on the story of Ateez and dimension hopping, wondering where they were, as in where were the personal stories; the freedom of expression and grounding focus of reliving your experience in music?

If the story came in the form of a novel, I would be pre-ordering that shit off Amazon faster than I pre-order SKZ and Ateez albums. And I am not alone in this sentiment. After five years in the industry, these guys aren't newbies, they have the experience to handle the responsibilities of writing their own songs with guidance from Edenary and creating their own choreo alongside BBTrippin.

Hearing how the agency weaves the lore into every single MV and title track, I felt angry. I still am and am likely to always be, because if they let up and allowed the boys to display their joy, sorrow, happiness and agony in their songs and choreo, Ateez would be even greater, they'd be a force to be reckoned with particularly in the international market where they just work already. This is where BTS and Stray Kids have Ateez beat.

international fans have come to expect that the music is written and produced by the members of a group. Sure this could be argued as being a side effect of BTS getting so big, it's also a factor no one should discount.

Now, I shall move onto the part I love most: 'saying shit 'people who don't have a genetic pain disorder and who still have two flying fucks to give' won't...

The agency is responsible for the lack of mainstream recognition in terms of awards and fans because that oomph 3RACHA pour into their music is where the disparity lies.

With performers like the eight men in Ateez imagine them being up there on the VMAs stage getting all the praise... And the viral Taylor Swift reaction to match... Her reaction to Chan was just so relatable after all (be still my Swiftie/STAY/Atiny manic heart). I can't lie, the thought of them never being recognised in the mainstream before it's too late and they disband to focus on solo careers makes me tear up. Oh, that's so dramatic of me is what people who don't know Ateez will think,

'Ewwww... it's not that deep 🙄! Go touch some fucking grass and stop being so saesang coded' { Bitch, if I could go outside without dislocating my hip, I'd still be an Archaeologist! Is that enough grass and mud for you all?}

With a massive 'Wooyoung-thicc, baby-girl-twerking' ass BUT(t):

The thing is, it actually is that deep.

I am sick of spending comeback day piecing together the story point instead of looking at the video and lyrics and it's meaning. Which invariably is about the destruction of the dystopian universe. Don't Stop did the story telling in a way that made sense for what the video portrays and it works real fucking well (plus Mingi? Oooh, damn boyyy!). We understood it because it was all there to be found!

Imagine having that every comeback day, the 'falling out of bed at 5am to match KST' would be so much more enjoyable because there isn't any depth to plunder, it would be a {most definitely not} straight shooting banger or bopper or tear-mopper of a track, ALMOST ENTIRELY written and produced by the members for us to enjoy on repeat. Then a few days later the Edenary b-side/s with all the storyline desired would drop and we would be mentally prepared to disect every second of it because our thirst would have diminished to the 'reasonably manageable when those eight beautiful men plus San's chocolate bar abs are in the world' level.

Whilst I intended to make all my points in one post, I will split it up because of the length it's going to be... To be continued...

[beachesgetpeaches]

the increase of taylor hate is not good for my hyperfixating brain because while I personally am all for recognising where she does things wrong the hate over the celine thing is just people looking for something.

and another thing.

I saw people talk about Taylor's PR mishaps, specifically at the Grammys (announcing a new album - not unheard of tbh, "dragging" Lana up on the stage - probably in good faith, not appropriately addressing Celine - whatever). I think that it is very odd that very normal things and situations are being called PR mishaps. The fact that the way she may have looked or not looked long enough at another person is a PR mishap is somewhat insane to me.

I'm sorry but how is human behaviour a PR mishap. Essentially what I am hearing is "she did not behave in a way thar I would have, so she must be bad/whatever", but lbr no matter how many bytes and pixels Taylor Swift occupies in your little phone she is still not a robot. Meaning that surely she is bound to "misbehave" if the standards for good behaviour are pseudocode of accepted steps.

I personally don't think we should be talking about half these things. The Celine D thing is easily attributed to excitement and not thinking right - whatever, happens. Especially when you receive a record breaking award. The accusations that she dragged Lana up on that stage, I mean she did. But not with any ill will, and as a person who has friends this is likely what I would do if I were pitted against my friend and won. I would drag her up and be like - she worked on this too, she is amazing, she deserves all the recognition. Which brings us back to "ignoring Celine" (I swear poor woman has been on everyone's lips since Sunday)... in her acceptance speech, I presume. People seemed to take offence with Taylor praising Lana, whilst Celine Dion stood ignored to the side but, I mean - yeah. Lana was nominated in that very same category. Lana is who she collabed with. Lana is her good friend. That is why she mentioned her. Not as a fuck you to Celine Dion.

The album announcement is just people clinging onto anything to justify disliking her without having the balls to actually say - she annoys me, I think she's cringy and lame, and I do not like her. I think it is perfectly fine to not like Taylor Swift, you don't even need a reason. Dislike her bcs of vibes, bcs she has a private jet, because she does this and that and whatever... but ffs be consistent in your arguments. Taylor is hardly the first and likely not the last artist to announce a new album after winning an award (at Grammys), she is not the only celebrity who owns or used a private jet, she is not the only celebrity who has stayed painfully silent in the past when we needed her to speak up, so if you are going to point that out you best believe I hope you are pointing your finger at eveeeeryone else.

Eeeeeveryone.

Because truth be told, it makes sense that I as a fan of her and her music say "thats fucked, she should do better" but it is much much much weirder that a person who claims to dislike her takes so much time out of their day to point out every single "bad" (qm bcs not all of them are even sane complaints ngl) thing she has done while also not giving a flying fuck that other celebrities do some of these things better (worse?). This is what people mean when they say fan behaviour.

Also a super weird note but the fact that she does get this weird vitriol over unnecessary things is diminishing the actual criticism that she might get, and it also motivates me as a fan to actually not be as loud about some things because I'm like: "man she gets so much shit anyway, why should I even care"

[mywifeleftme]

245: Hole // Live Through This

Live Through This Hole 1994, DGC

Having a “problematic fav” usually involves an element of wish fulfillment. The biographies of male PFs almost always involve insane amounts of drinking or drug use; a string of failed relationships (when not outright abuse) stemming from an unwillingness or inability to meaningfully address their feelings; and tawdry premature death. But there’s usually something tragic and romantic about the character they cut, a doomed poignancy in their art, and also an appealing freedom in the fantasy of letting yourself cruise through life being wildly unreliable and fucked up. With female PFs most of the above holds true, except there’s an additional vicarious thrill for women in imagining getting to be annoying as hell all the time. Against the usual social strictures on women’s behaviour, these girls are pushy, demanding, sulky, petty, and at least a bit fabulous. While many women still kinda like terrible famous men, men tend to loathe terrible famous women even when they make excellent art—case in point, Courtney Love.

Only her most delusional fans would argue that Courtney Love hasn’t been at many times a borderline unbearable person to be around. But dismissing her music on that basis strikes me as churlish bullshit. Courtney was an asshole, but she was also smart and tough and managed to make as great an album as any to emerge from the grunge movement without like doing any Jimmy Page shit. The reputation of Live Through This has only grown with age, to the point that it’s now considered by many (in my circles at least) to be more or less on par with Nirvana’s Nevermind. Certainly, you don’t get Live Through This without Nevermind, as it very closely mirrors the earlier record’s platinum-plated mix of catchy quiet-loud-quiet pop songs, ragged thrashers, and opiated ballads. But Love and guitarist Eric Erlandson’s hooks are as indelible as any of Cobain’s, and she’s able to tap into and express a vein of specifically feminine anxiety and aggravation that makes the songs land quite differently—and cut more deeply.

While Love’s lyrics can be as abstract and gooey as Kurt on a weird day (e.g. “Gutless”), she’s generally more direct than he is—perhaps because as a woman her pain can be tied to more specific issues than Kurt’s agonized but also generalized malaise. Her lyrics don’t dazzle, but she has a genius for tone and phrases that, in her voice, pin otherwise difficult-to-express feelings right to the wall: “Someday you will ache like I ache”; “Go on, take everything / I want you to.” In the end, there’s some truth to the notion that Courtney found fame by making herself a sort of female Kurt, but what many of her detractors missed was that a “female Kurt” was a distinct and powerful thing to be in that time and place, and that unlike the legions of male Kurt clones (e.g. Gavin Rossdale) Love had the ability to create music that doesn’t suffer from the comparison.

This version of Hole didn’t last long. It’s generally accepted that the competence of the new rhythm section of Kristen Pfaff on bass and Patty Schemel on drums was decisive in transforming the ferocious but commercially unpalatable band that cut Pretty On the Inside into an act capable of walking the tightrope between hardcore and mainstream radio rock Live Through This balances on. Pfaff would be dead within two months of the record’s release, and by the end of the album’s tour Love was in a much more pop headspace. Hell of a 38:17 they put together in the time they had though.

245/365

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I know you always struggle to write about Suga Bpp but I'd really appreciate a review from you for D-day.

Sincerely, a follower who loves the space you make here.

Thank you for focusing on the music in the middle of the madness. I struggle with this a lot, but your posts always help.

Pls review D-day in any way you like or in that way you always do.

***

I'm losing my mind.

This album has put me in a high that hasn't come down since release. Overall, I rate the album a 9/10. I won't really get into the lyrics (Yoongi never minces words), but will tell you why exactly I think Yoongi is insane.

(Tsk... a problem)

We should all thank Yoongi. If I had his address I'd send him flowers and my nudes (me sitting pretty in a bucket of tangerines), for the blessing, the honour, the gift of J-hope Jay spitting the coldest bars of his entire career on HUH?!

His delivery??

Jesus.

Jung Hoseok, the man you fucking are.

There's no Korean rapper in the history of rap who has spit sicker bars, delivered so cold it feels like he just ripped eyeballs clean out their sockets.

(Son couilles est lourde)

HUH?! is the best song on the album

See, up until now, BTS had never done drill. And a part of me was always grateful because even on harmless boom bap beats, they been cutting niggas left and right. But Yoongi went there. On D-DAY, he went there. And Lord is it a revelation. Nobody should be surprised that D-DAY is now the highest selling rap album, in history. Yoongi is the first rapper to sell a million albums in a day in history. Not k-rap, not in Asia, but globally in the history of the genre - that was done by Min Yoongi with Jung Hoseok whipping up guts served cold on a platter.

If you're vegetarian or vegan I'm so sorry but this album is not for you. Because this album, HUH?! in particular, is an exhibit of cadavers split open and Hobi's delivery is of a man who didn't even bother washing his hands after doing what needed to be done. A man who doesn't feel a speck of remorse for the corpses left in his wake. Hobi's flow on HUH?! is psychotic. And think about what it means to have Hobi on a song like this to begin with. Yoongi said he hadn't done the genre before, and he trusted Hobi - who initially learned from Namgi but very quickly developed his own flavour and skills enough to earn the respect of his idol - Yoongi trusted his brother on that track and that alone nearly brings me to tears.

Then Yoongi follows it with Amygdala and I start actually crying.

(This was me on my third listen.)

Amygdala is the standout song on this album

The transition from drill rap to soothing acoustic trap is so beautiful, it alters your mind. It's so seamless. Everything about Amygdala cements Yoongi's genius as a force to be reckoned with among the greats.

(I love them)

When Yoongi showed Jimin this song in SOOP around the time he made it, he said he went through wild mood swings making it. And you hear it in his voice. When he screams so wildly he uses autotune to distort it, almost temper it, for our sakes and to drive home the point. The point being his pain, how overwhelming it was, how he decided to intentionally pull those memories out to process them. And he lets us hear the result. He lets us see the compassion he shows himself in that song.

Y'all...

*

Snooze

Yoongi's writing is the reason I fell in love with him. Just by the way. An Anon asked me this question almost 11 months ago now and I never responded, but Anon if you're reading this now, this is the answer to your ask. Yoongi's writing is what I think cemented him as my bias.

Have you heard/read the lyrics for Snooze yet? I cried when I first heard them. To think Yoongi made this for his brothers, for his juniors, for his fans, for anyone whoever hears it, for himself... that brought me to tears.

Repurposing the lyrics from So Far Away...

(I've been a mess since Friday)

With the context of the tragedy of the last week, I can't help but weep. I really hope these artists get the support they need, I hope the wider k-pop fandom quickly recognizes what is actually at stake here, and I hope you remember to always take care of yourself.

*

Woosung's voice on this track is perfection.

When it comes to vocalists, Yoongi has a type. It's my type as well, vocalists with a voice made for haunting rock anthems. The best examples being Jimin, Taka from ONE OK ROCK, Tyler from Twenty One Pilots, Adora, and now we can add Woosung from The Rose to the list.

The thing that gets me with BTS, is they could drop the pantie dropper album of the century and they'd still have substance to them. You don't get Ryuichi Sakamoto on your album, in his final years no less, if you haven't got a decent bit of substance to you.

Snooze is yet another song on the album that reminds us of the evolution of Agust D. It reminds us of why we're at this point, where we are in the timeline of his growth. It reminds us of why we should join him on the other side.

He doesn't let us languish too long in the feeling though, before moving to SDL - that groovy, sexy number that surprises me with how much I like it every time it comes up in my playlist.

[ I'm starting to ramble so I'll just say Adora on SDL makes me think they should get together.

The track is so good and Adora undeniably is the magic ingredient. And if we're being honest, Adora is his best female feature/adliber. We all know it. I'm just selfish and shameless enough to voice the desire we all have that they should always make music together. ]

*

Haegeum is where he repeats the pattern but we never learn if he's broken the cycle

I'll try to be ultra brief here.

Agust D is born of the anger, hatred, and pain Yoongi feels when looking at the world and at himself. He expresses his struggle with self-loathing, insecurity and greed in Agust D. Haegeum, meaning both to lift a ban, to say what had been suppressed, and a traditional Korean instrument he loves - Haegeum is the resolution before he reaches the acceptance he shows in People Pt 2. We hear Yoongi brutally criticize himself and his society while dissecting the system to get down to the root of what really ails us. K-pop stans have predictably made a ruckus about his lyrics referring to capital. And their criticisms yet again show why few people take k-pop and its fans seriously. Because exactly none, zero, zilch, not a single one of their criticisms are rational once the whole verse is viewed in full.

*

Haegeum is very much a read of himself as it is of anyone else. He confronts the shadow of him that represents those vices, and kills him. But just as it was in Daechwita, we don't know if that shadow will remain dead. Although in Haegeum it's clear Yoongi has grown and whatever shadow that remains is closer to Suga in likeness than Agust D, we don't know if the cycle is permanently broken. And that is how it is for all of us. We have to continue to evolve, to confront more complex versions of our shadows, each time better reconciling who we are to who we want to be, perfecting our characters.

Haegeum is a visual feast, somehow more vivid than Daechwita which is really saying something. It reminds me of Hong Kong neo noir films. It's cool Yoongi wrote the storyboard for the MV himself.

And as I've said before, Yoongi is messy killer. When I said this about him last year I got some of his akgaes in my inbox saying I should stop smearing the man. Lol. If you had any doubt before, after Haegeum it should be crystal clear.

He could murder you with chopsticks and look good doing it. Honestly, only Yoongi can tear down capitalism as well as Karl Marx does, looking 1,000x better.

*

*

In D-Day, SUGA gracefully ends the trilogy of Agust D. Yoongi has told this story of his wrestle with his greed, his anger and hatred, over the last 7 years, and his honesty and graciousness in how he concludes it in D-Day deserves a standing ovation.

I strongly encourage everyone to read Yoongi's Thanks To on the album. I'll post an English translation from Twitter below:

Credit: @/btsbaragi_jk

His sense of humour is one of my favourite things about him.

*

Yoongi has created a masterpiece. He worked so hard and it shows. His vocals on the album alone have elevated D-DAY to one of the best releases this decade. You can hear how much he has grown as an artist to the point I dare say he no longer has any obvious weaknesses. The impeccable production on D-DAY is a given. And to think he finished most of the album in 2020, but chose to wait for the rest of the guys to find their feet, for them all to decide on the timing for Chapter 2, to think he waited that long... sometimes, I wonder if people have a true understanding of the kind of group BTS is. Of the personal sacrifices each of the members in BTS have had to make.

When I see asks about this or that mistreatment complaint for this or that member, sometimes it pisses me off. Cause yeah, it sucks that Jungkook has to (possibly) serve now despite having 5 years more and being at his prime; I too hate that Jimin's sales were explicitly targeted, deleted without precedent, explanation, or accountability; I cannot for the life of me explain what the fuck happened with Jack in the Box's album roll-out, packaging, shipping, etc. But like, every member is making these decisions with their eyes wide open and taking these hits in stride with a team/company they say they trust. If Jimin trusts Bang PD with his career, on what basis could I begin to disagree with him?

Anyway I digress. D-Day is a gift. Pray you survive the live versions lol. And oh, about Yoongi (and the rest of BTS) being insane as I said initially, just listen to HUH?! again.

[zolotaia-ptitsa]

boris started dating kotku and said she had cool taste in music and that she made him a mix cd with “a bunch of smoking hot hip-hop” and then he began to throw out gang signs, used “yo” and said n-word a couple of times (i assume he picked it up from hip-hop music) and i think this shows how easily influenced boris actually was. i highly doubt he really liked hip-hop since he adored white album by the beatles and listened to radiohead, the velvet underground with theo together. he probably just found kotku cool for some reasons and wanted to please her or for her to like him.

boris’s feelings for kotku are so mysterious to me. he got insanely jealous of her in school, called theo to find out an address of a guy he assumed she’s cheating on him with. he talked about her non-stop annoying theo a lot. i mean, maybe he just wanted to get some reaction out of theo. like i read some post that said boris wanted to make theo jealous or something. i think it’s wishful thinking though. theo exaggerated a bit about how awful kotku was and how she took boris from him but in fact it was boris who basically ditched theo and left him alone and theo got miserable x2, smoked weed, went to some parties, took xanax, got really drunk all by himself. if you really think about it, their “fucked up nights” probably really didn’t mean much to boris, they were making out and he never took it seriously and while theo was afraid of boris “having the wrong idea” and making it more than it really was… for theo it’s always been something more than just making out while drunk. i think theo was genuinely in love with boris repressing all his feelings though while boris never thought twice about it and he didn’t have any serious romantic feelings for theo. another fucked up love in theo’s life.

[thenightlymirror]

There’s also something about the binding of fear and intimate experiences. Maybe the least intimate film of all time except for the fact that it happens through phenomena so close to real nightmares, or intimate in the way that seeing through your own eyes is intimate. But it arouses a kind of paranoid attachment. Like, “John Lennon, stop writing songs about me.”

I’m trying to remember some of my most paranoid moments. Wonder Showzen was a lot like something I was imagining at the time, and I was sort of losing my mind recording an album and was afraid I had projected the series into existence. Hahaha in my defense, I was insane at the time. Now it’s clear, that even a weirdo’s experiences are basically universal. They are sometimes just yet to be addressed culturally, or sometimes a certain innovation of language makes an experience feel new, finally expressed.

Clearly, a lot of kids had nightmares and weird feelings about muppets. Or at least weird kids had weird feelings about muppets. Haha geriatric millennial group therapy session. That and the satanic panic. That’ll fuck you up.

I also remember being really worried that modular synthesizers would fuck up the way my brain worked. Haha that’s too sensitive. Maybe that tells you something about how aversion works. There’s a certain kind of laziness where a person could do nothing forever, because new things begin to seem impossible. For example, I almost never buy new things, if I get something as a gift, if I don’t start using it right away, it will sit in a corner for a year. Forever. That’s psychology, folks. Haha I don’t know why. It’s a defense mechanism of some kind. It’s like your relationship with technology is it’s own disassociation, and new things really disrupt that. Like, some people don’t take showers. And it’s just the required elasticity to change modes. They don’t have it all the time. Mental health is elasticity. Being mentally limber, able to change states as needed. It’s rough.

Anyways, I was afraid the Piston Honda was like a Hellraiser box changing the way my brain was relating to music creation. Haha and it was! Death to Videodrome! Long live the new flesh! You just gotta accept change. I think I’m afraid that I’ll lose my ability to feel or recognize certain things. Consciousness changes throughout the course of a life. I drew a picture of this once. When I was maybe nine, I was in the car, and had this sudden realization that my consciousness, the way I perceived everything, was very different now than it was when I was “a child”. Very young. I think watching The Tree of Life, there’s that same recognition, of holy shit, how did someone remember, sustain, duplicate, communicate, that whole strange feeling?

Now that I’m an experienced psychonaut, I can say probably a few things about that. One, marijuana. Haha it’s a pretty common experience, and though it is difficult to articulate, I think there’s a pretty universal stoned experience of personally ancient memories being evoked. So, maybe he had that up his sleeve. Though for me it was more a matter of sensitivity and obsession with these things. The other is, I think now maybe I can say that me as a nine year old noticing that consciousness had “changed”, was maybe just a person experiencing for the first time that consciousness was “changeable”. Maybe that’s all it is. And maybe sensitivity to those changes makes you try to avert those changes defensively, and in that same strange double bind that happens with every neuroses, also makes you compulsively seek out those changes.

[thedemostop]

Who Is the Fastest Rapper of All Time:  Icons of Music

Rappers that can move quickly have evolved into a whole new genre. In the early years, rapping became increasingly popular due to artists such as The Treacherous Three. Rapid-fire lyrics in songs like "The New Rap Language" make it hard for peers to understand. Since then, fast rap has come out of the underground to rule the charts.

 Rap music is currently a well-respected and ever-evolving genre. Rap today exhibits not just technical excellence but also representation, story, and pure lyrical talent.

We shall investigate who is the fastest rapper in the world this article.

List of Fastest Rapper in the World

Eminem – 10.65 syllables per second

Full name: Marshall Bruce Mathers III

Birth date and place: October 17, 1972, in St. Joseph, Missouri, USA.

The fastest rap song is 10.65 syllables (or 7.23 words) per second in “Godzilla.”

Hit songs:

“Love the Way You Lie”

“Rap God”

“Godzilla”

As a youngster, Eminem went through adversity and suffering. His breakthrough came with the release of "The Slim Shady LP," early in 1999. For the multi-platinum album, he was honored with two Grammy Awards and four MTV Video Music Awards.

With his unexpectedly successful album "Music to Be Murdered By" in the beginning of 2020, Eminem became the first musician to achieve ten consecutive number-one albums.

Because of his sincerity and ability to rhyme, Eminem is on the Who is the fastest rapper list. These qualities have had a lasting impact on the music industry.

Crucified – 28.9 syllables per second

Full name: Richard Dickie Lee Mason

Birth date and place: June 18, 1987, in New Braunfels, Texas

The fastest rap song is 28.9 syllables per second on ‘Powered Up’ from the album’ Water to Wine.’

Hit songs:

“That Music” from the album ‘Sing to the Morning Light’

“Wicked” featuring Twisted Insane from ‘The Birth of Tragedy’

“Still we breathe” featuring Bizzy Bone, also from ‘The Birth of Tragedy.’

When Crucified was just fifteen years old, he composed his first song, which launched his musical career more than twenty years ago.

His songs usually address themes like drugs, murder, and the occult, which includes aliens. Crucified, who is not a well-known rapper, has made a name for him on the list of the fastest rappers in the world.

Outsider – 24 syllables per second

Full name: Shin Ok-cheol

Birth date and place: March 21, 1983, in Seoul, South Korea

Fastest rap song: 24 syllables per second in “Loner”

Hit songs:

“Loner (외톨이)” from the album ‘Maestro’ which held the #1 spot on both the Mnet and Melon music charts for more than five weeks.

“Speed Star” from his debut EP ‘Come Outside.’

“Hero (주인공)” and “Attitude Needed When Breaking Up (이별할 때 필요한 자세)” from his third album ‘Hero’

In 2004, Outsider—a rapper from South Korea—made his underground debut with the release of his EP "Come Outside." His second album, "Maestro," was released in 2009 and was somewhat successful.

He is renowned for combining hip-hop with a classical touch and speed rapping. He is thought to be the second fastest rapper in the world.

Tech N9ne – 15.2 syllables per second

Full name: Aaron Dontez Yates

Birth date and place: November 8, 1971, in Kansas City, Missouri, USA.

Fastest rap song: 15.2 syllables per second in “Takin’ Online Orders”

Hit songs:

“Caribou Lou”

“Worldwide Choppers”

“Fragile”

Tech N9ne was a part of Black Mafia in the early 1990s before he started Strange Music. The trio, who were 57th Street Rogue Dog Villains, rose to stardom with their song "Let's Get Fucked Up".

Tech N9ne's fast-rhyming, chopper-style music earned him the nickname "TEC-9 semi-automatic handgun" from rapper Black Walt. He later clarified the underlying meaning of the phrase, stating that "tech" stands for technique and "nine" for the quantity of complements, and that the name itself is a representation of the full rhyme scheme.

NoClue – 14.1 syllables per second

Full name: Ricky Raphel Brown

Birth date and place: January 28, 1985, in Seattle, Washington, USA.

Fastest rap song: 14.1 syllables per second in “New West”

Hit songs:

“Caribou Lou”

“Worldwide Choppers”

“Fragile”

No clue began rapping when he was four years old, and by the time he was nine, he was writing his own rhymes. In the early 2000s, he co-founded the independent label Strange Music, which launched his career.

In January 2005, he became well-known for breaking the Guinness World Record with his 14.1 words per second rap. NoClue, his stage moniker, implies that everyone was "aware" of the impact he was about to create.

Busta Rhymes – 12.8 syllables per second

Full name: Trevor George Smith Jr.

Birth date and place: May 20, 1972, in the East Flatbush neighborhood of Brooklyn, New York.

Fastest rap song: 12.8 syllables per second in the song Hello.

Hit songs:

“Woo-Hah!! Got You All in Check”

“It’s a Party”

“Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See”

Busta Rhymes's career took off as one of the New School's founding Leaders. After the band disbanded, he had a successful solo career. His debut album, "The Coming," was released in 1996 and resulted him a Grammy nomination.

Chuck D of Public Enemy is the one who gave Busta Rhymes his stage name. George "Buster" Rhymes, a legendary wide receiver in the CFL and NFL, served as the model for his name. He was dubbed the fastest rapper of all time for his intense and exciting live performances.

Conclusion

The fastest rapper is determined by a variety of factors, including syllables per second, consistency within a verse or song, and clarity. Over the years, a number of rappers have acknowledged or been recognized for their exceptionally quick rhymes.

[taylorswiftdiscographyrate]

#60-51

60. Cold As You (7.606) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 5

The very first track 5! There are some great lyrics in here, especially considering how young Taylor was when she wrote them.

Highlighted comments: @tobesolonely: “im biased because im coldasyou” (well, you’re not anymore, but I still really liked this comment)  @wesawbears: “underrated queen”  @liabilitys: “the way she wrote this when she was 15??? the lyrics are insane. 'mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you'?”

59. the last great american dynasty (7.609) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 3

TASTELESS, ALL OF YOU! TLGAD is one of the centrepieces of folklore, setting the stage for the album’s exploration of the intersection between past and present, and introducing the “mad woman” theme which would continue to be addressed later in the album. She is the moment, and you’re all horrible for ranking her so long.

Highlighted comments: @corneliaavenue: “great storytelling, but it's just not the song for me” @breathinmaries: “THE STORYTELLING”

58. peace (7.634) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 1

There are a lot of nice things I could say about peace, but I’m still reeling from TLGAD being so low... and this of all the songs on folklore ranking above it... so I need a moment to sit quietly and process this... I’ll see you all at the next song <3

Highlighted comments: @breathinmaries: “I appreciate how raw and honest it is”

56. I Knew You Were Trouble. & I Think He Knows (7.650) I Knew You Were Trouble.: Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 1.6 I Think He Knows: Highest score was 9.5; Lowest score was 6.6

Yet another tie! IKYWT is a bit iconic, and the Red era live performances are some of my favourites of all time. In particular, the 2013 BRITS performance was a highlight of my life as a Swiftie thus far. You’ll note I also left the period at the end of the song title. I don’t know why it’s there, but Taylor put it there so it must be important!

Highlighted comments: @corneliaavenue: “I hope the goat is featured in the rerecordings”

As for I Think He Knows, poor Taylor never gave her a chance. I believe this is the only Lover song to not receive a single acknowledgement from Taylor beyond releasing it. Hell, it got left off of a merch item that showcased the album tracklist! A shame, because it is a bop and a half.

Highlighted comments: @leadinmeon: “this song fucks. pry it away from my cold dead hands.” @corneliaavenue: “SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE LEAD SINGLE!!!!” (oh my god, someone else who shares this opinion. our minds!)

55. Don’t Blame Me (7.688) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 4.3

A gospel-inspired, blasphemous banger! Listening to Don’t Blame Me is akin to a religious experience - it’s a song that could have had a lot of potential as a single with a sultry, dark music video.

Highlighted comments: @breathinmaries: “A favorite from first listen” @corneliaavenue: “Alexa play Take Me to Church” (now WHERE is our Taylor & Hozier collab?)

54. Love Story (7.713) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 3

This feels... wrong. Love Story is Taylor’s signature song - Shake It Off might be her biggest hit, but I think Love Story is going to be the song that endures as representative of Taylor’s career and her talent as an artist and songwriter. I expected to be much higher up. Swifties, we have lost our way.

Highlighted comments: @breathinmaries: “A mega-bop somehow written in 20 mins” @corneliaavenue: “Shakespeare who???”

53. Paper Rings (7.725) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 5

I have a whole live performance for this song in my mind. Take YBWM from the Red tour, but give it a more retro and Lover-era aesthetic, add some fun dance moves in front of the mic stand, and of course picture her singing Paper Rings instead of YBWM, and there you go.

Highlighted comments: @breathinmaries: “Another one I sent my fiancée” @liabilitys: “instant serotonin” @corneliaavenue: “This song grew on me, it was a 1 when I first listened to it”

52. coney island (ft. The National) (7.757) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 1

CONEY ISLAND RIGHTS! This was easily the most slept on evermore song, but it’s not the lowest-ranked song on evermore here, so I count that as a victory! I honestly cannot comprehend how someone can dislike this song. “Sorry for not making you my centrefold” is one of my favourite lyrics on evermore.

Highlighted comments: @itspeterlosingwendy: “Best on the album I don't care what anyone else says” @liabilitys: “this song grew on me sm” @breathinmaries: “This grew on me sososo much” (this song growing on everyone... coney island stans we won!)

51. Daylight (7.781) Highest score was 10; Lowest score was 4

I cannot believe this fandom spent months plastering “step into the daylight and let it go” over every single edit you made, only for the song actually featuring that lyric to release and be met with relative indifference. This is a great song and great closer, I don’t care what anyone else says.

Highlighted comments: @breathinmaries: “My favorite off Lover 1000%” @itspeterlosingwendy: “people love it but meh”

[bisluthq]

Hi! I discovered your blog 2 days ago & read your Kaylor timeline. So refreshing to see some unbiased thinking! I 100% believe Kaylor happened but it's dead now. What's ur opinion on this: d'you think that T & K's teams use the “legend“ of Kaylor to keep fans engaged in their brands? K references T in her posts & she seems to know the signs Kaylors look for. K posted a clip of herself dancing in a cardigan in the woods 13 days before folklore, how'd K know? are their teams together on this?thx

Hi! Thanks babe we worked really hard to put it together. So I think Kar deeefinitely uses/baits/signals to Kaylors. This is because that’s a HUGE chunk of her online engagement, and tbh a huge reason for why mainstream publications are interested in her at all. She is MASSIVE in fashion (like we can’t ignore or erase or underplay that, she really was the last “supermodel”), but the reason she has pull beyond other former VS Angels or high fashion models of her generation ONLINE is her connection (konnection?) to Taylor. There’s no way Kar’s brand can afford to sever ties completely. Also she gets asked about it a LOT. Like not to be cynical but she legit can’t afford to totally cut the Kay fans off. For example, when she posted that pic of the KWK scholar’s screen and she was streaming Tay I don’t think it was accidental. She wants to/highkey needs to keep their brands intertwined.

I don’t know that she does this signaling as much as the big Kay accounts claim though. Like, no, every time she posts a flower it’s not a klue for the Kays. This is a sunflower not a fucking daisy. This is a kaleidoscope pattern, not a daisy, and she has another bag like it. She is allowed to post flowers without either signaling or baiting tbh. She is allowed to buy expensive ass Dior handbags and not be signaling to Kays. The problem with a lot of the “klues” is they are actually just reaches. Which like... okay whatever, reach all you want, far be it from me to tell people how to have fun online, but admit you’re wearing clown shoes 🤡 Don’t tell people it’s “obvious” when it’s legit not.

So for example she she WAS pretty loudly “clueing” a pregnancy announcement, those of us non-Kays who follow her (her fashion fans and like, Team Gaylor Chaos) were discussing the possibility ever since she posted this in early October and Natalia Vodianova (a very good friend of Kar’s) posted a comment about her “trying to tell us something” and this 😇 emoji. But Kay accounts missed that shit because they are being deductive not inductive. They’re not piecing clues together, they’re trying to find crumbs to prove a theory that doesn’t hold up. So instead of looking at what clues/Eggs say, they’re saying “where are the Kaylor klues”? And that’s not very good critical thinking lmfao.

Now with all that in mind, let’s get to the cardigan video. Idk what to tell you - it could be an insane koincidence, that’s the explanation her fashion fans would probably give you. I side eye that theory slightly because it truly is an insane koincidence lol. My crack theory/reach would be that Taylor told her the album was coming out. Like if there are Karlie songs there, as I personally think there are (ILLICIT AFFAIRS!!! HOAX!!! THE 1!!!) it lowkey makes sense for Tay to give her a heads up. And Karlie took that info and decided to bait/signal and keep their brands linked because she fucking NEEDS to because of the info in the first para. Obviously I don’t know for sure that’s what happened - but that’d be my explanation. Di Agron seemed to maybe know when the MV for Babe would drop so there’s a pattern to this.

If they were still friends, Kar would’ve received an actual cardigan. If they were DATING there’d be evidence for it instead of cracky reaches. But it doesn’t mean that Kar isn’t mining the konnection for online engagement. And if I was gonna drag my ex for cheating on her then boyfriend now husband I’d maybe give her a heads up - tho it’s pretty funny if Kar took that info and decided to bait.

Now to address a different point in your ask: does TAYLOR use Kaylor for her brand? Um. That’s a harder one to tackle. She doesn’t need to and she seems to have cut Kar off (she didn’t even bother to “like” the Rep concert tour pic), but seems somewhat bitter (she surfaced to “like” Kar’s wedding pic which is ODD). What is true is that Tay seems to have spoken about aspects of their relationship in her music. Idk if that counts as “baiting” - I think she was processing a very complicated and pained relationship through her music. She has never made out publicly as though the music’s about Karlie but there are a number of (sad, anxious, cheating) songs that seem like they’re about them. I wouldn’t call that baiting or brand building because that hasn’t been in the marketing and Kays ALSO MISSED IT.

I hope that answers the question? If you have any other ones let me know! And remember we are allllll wearing some form of a clown outfit. And that’s ok as long as we remember it.

[calumcest]

i took a walk with my fame down memory lane (i never did find my way back) - chapter eight

[ao3]

this is the latest i’ve ever posted a chapter...but technically it still counts. as long as i havent slept its still monday and you dont know whether i live in california or not 

@tirednotflirting​ thank u for entertaining my insane little ideas and improving them this fic is truly nothing without you and @kaleidoscopeminds​ thank you for making my entire fucking week with that helpful little encouragement although i have to say its only monday so don’t get too gassed about that compliment. 

i said on ao3 that half of this was written to a specific song so here i’m going to reveal the other half was written to just be good to green by professor green which honestly? fucking slaps i can’t be lying to you on this fine monday evening/tuesday morning 

They have a few dates in the UK at the end of December, and Calum finds that his week or so away from his band has actually been a week too long. It almost made him forget the warmth that fizzles through his veins with the laughter that comes from Noel making contemptuous comments about Liam and Bonehead and Liam and Tony and Liam again, from Bonehead cheering loudly as Calum and the brothers groan and wince when they hear -and City have conceded yet another goal, this really is poor form- on the radio, from Liam slinging an arm around Calum in a bar in Glasgow and grinning madly at him, eyes lit up from the high of the show and the booze and the drugs, and shouting I fucking love you, Cal, over the sound of the shitty music. It makes Calum grin back, makes him press a sloppy kiss to Liam’s cheek, makes him giddy with the thoughts of how could I ever give this up? that rattle around what little of his mind the coke in his veins has left him. 

It’s good, though, because the week-and-a-half apart is all the breathing space they needed, so once they’ve all recovered from their frankly alarming post-New-Year’s hangovers, the first few weeks of January, which are precious weeks off, are spent cooped up in a rehearsal space, or down the pub, or lying on the floor of Noel’s flat, stoned out of his mind, or wrapped up in a bunch of sky-blue scarves screaming abuse at the away stand at Maine Road. 

Or, looking at houses in London. 

Calum had mentioned it to Liam in a carefully-casual way, biting the inside of his cheek to contain a smile as Liam’s bright blue eyes had lit up and he’d said, a little too enthusiastically, eeyar, y’know Kentish Town’s a right nice area? Bet you could find a place there, too.

“Have you got a place, then?” Calum had asked, and Liam had shaken his head. 

“Not yet,” he’d said. “Got some more viewings next week, though, if you fancy tagging along.” Calum had hummed, and nodded. 

“Might do,” he’d said. “What’re you looking at?” 

“Houses,” Liam had said immediately. “Big fuck-off houses. Mansions." Calum had snorted, and rolled his eyes. Typical. 

“Give us the number of your estate agent,” he’d said. “I’ll ring and see if they’ve got anything for me.” 

So Liam had called Noel and asked for the estate agent’s number, because he’d lost his address book again, and then Calum had rung the estate agent and told them vaguely what he was looking for - a place somewhere around Kentish Town, not too far from a pub if possible - asked to be put on the books, and been posted a few particulars. There had been a few places he’d been interested in, two houses and one flat, and with a little bit of wrangling he’d managed to get himself viewings on the same day that Liam had said he’d be going down, which is how they’ve ended up here.

They’ve seen both the houses that Calum had been considering, neither of which were quite right - one had a deceptively large garden, which Calum simply can’t be bothered to deal with, and the kitchen of the other one needed far too much work doing - and they’re in the second of Liam’s now, ambling around an airy, spacious living room. It’s a nice house, Calum thinks as he runs a finger over the mantelpiece above the fireplace, if a little big for his own taste. Liam, though, seems to be fucking loving it, craning his neck to look at the high ceilings and the sash windows, whatever the fuck those are. Calum had tuned out of whatever the fuck the estate agent’s droning on about approximately ten minutes ago, electing to simply wander around on the other side of the room, lost in his own thoughts. 

It’s going to be fucking weird, he thinks, living in London. Manchester’s home. It’s where he’s been for almost six years, where his life had gone from bland and mundane to the fucking rollercoaster it is now, where he'd settled in and grown into himself. It’s going to be fucking weird being away from it, not going to Maine Road on a Saturday afternoon or a Tuesday evening, not heading down to the pub round the corner from his house for a pint with Liam, not hopping on a bus to cross town to Noel’s flat. Somehow it feels even stranger than when he’d first found out he’d be going on tour, leaving Manchester and sleeping in a different city every night, because he’d still always known where his home was. Sydney hadn’t ever really felt like home, not in the way Manchester does, and it makes Calum’s skin prickle with a tiny bit of fear to think that he’s choosing to uproot himself again, choosing to displace himself entirely this time, on a strange leap of faith chasing his best friends down to London. 

Well, he thinks, glancing over at Liam again, and a warm wave of comfort washes over the prickling under his skin. At least he’ll have a little bit of home here with him. 

Almost like he knows he’s being watched, Liam turns on his heel and catches Calum’s eye.

“What d’you think?” he says, like they’re a couple, or something. Calum shrugs. He likes it well enough, but it’s not his money, is it?

“‘S your money,” he says. 

“Yeah, but what d’you think?” Calum shrugs again, casting his eyes back up at the huge bay windows opening out onto the street. He can imagine Liam here, sprawled out across a big sofa with ten empty bottles in front of him, TV blaring in the background, phone hanging off the hook. He’d probably have those NME covers of himself blown up and hung on the wall over there, maybe above the fireplace, might even get a vinyl of their album and stick that up on the wall behind the sofa- yeah, Calum can imagine Liam here. 

“I like it,” he says. “Think it suits you.” Liam beams at him. 

“Yeah?” he says, and turns back to the estate agent, who’s been hovering a little nervously in the doorway as Liam prodded around the brilliant white living room. “How much was this one, again?” 

“Five hundred and forty six thousand,” the estate agent says politely, and Liam nods thoughtfully, like that isn’t the most enormous sum of money Calum’s ever heard of. 

“D’you want to ring our accountant, maybe?” Calum says pointedly, and Liam shakes his head. 

“Seeing Noel tomorrow,” he says, and Calum hums. Fair enough. Noel’ll probably know the state of Liam’s finances better than their accountant, anyway. "Right, let's have a look at your little bedsit, then, eh?" Calum rolls his eyes, and shoots Liam a playful glare. 

"Get to fuck," he says, and Liam grins, following the estate agent out of the house. 

The flat Calum had liked the look of is literally around the corner from the house Liam’s keen on, and there’s a pub halfway between the two of them that Liam points out and stops outside of, peering in and asking the estate agent how much a pint costs there. 

“Two pound fifty?” he echoes in shock, when the estate agent informs him. “Who the fuck do they think they are?”

“You’re literally a fucking millionaire,” Calum reminds him, and Liam tears his gaze away from the window to glower at him. 

“It’s the fucking principle,” he says, but he slouches away from the pub, albeit not without throwing it one final glare. 

The flat’s on the ground floor of a huge house, one that looks like something Calum might expect Brett Anderson to live in, and he has half a mind to ask whether any other potential rival band members are living in the area before letting Liam loose in it, but decides he’s not going to play the role of Liam’s minder if he doesn’t have to. He, at least, isn’t bound to him by blood and double-helixes like some people, and he’s going to take full advantage of that. 

The estate agent’s saying something about excellent schools in the area as they walk in, and Calum just stares at her back, thinking do I fucking look like I’m about to have kids? I don’t even know how to boil an egg or change a lightbulb - or anything beyond playing bass and taking drugs, really. Liam doesn’t hold back his snort, and Calum throws him a glare over his shoulder but can’t hide the amused smile playing at his lips, which just encourages Liam, makes him say eeyar, Cal, could tuck your little kids Mary and Jane into bed right here, couldn't you? when they get into the smaller bedroom.

The flat’s not too big, but it’s definitely not small, either - two bedrooms, a living room, a bathroom and a toilet, and a kitchen, with a little patio at the back over the shared garden which, the estate agent assures him, is taken care of by the building managers. It’s exactly the right size, really - big enough that Calum feels like he’d have breathing space, even with the four noisy Mancunians that are inevitably going to be spreading themselves out across his new place like they’d been the ones to spend a few hundred thousand on it, but small enough that it wouldn’t feel empty, wouldn’t make him feel lonely if he were there on his own, and, more importantly, wouldn’t be a fucking ballache to clean. 

He looks down at the particulars he’d had the foresight to bring with him - or rather, that his mum had shoved in his hand before he’d left the house - and scans it for the price again. A hundred and ten thousand, alright. That’s still fucking extortionate, but after hearing the price of the place Liam’s thinking of it feels like a bargain, and he’s already got his mortgage in place thanks to the chivvying from his parents, so he turns to the estate agent when they get to the kitchen and says: “I’d like to make an offer at the asking price.” She brightens, and nods. 

“We have one more viewing on this property this afternoon, but I’ll get in touch with the seller as soon as I get back to the office and let him know,” she says, and Calum smiles politely at her, feeling incredibly out of his depth. Fucking hell, maybe he’s not ready for this. Maybe it’s too early to be living on his own; maybe he should have a transition period, move in with Liam, or something, rent something in Manchester. 

But, like he can sense it, Liam turns to him, and nods decisively. 

"This is your fucking place," he says, like it's obvious. "And I'll be right 'round the corner." 

So it's decided.

Buying a flat, it turns out, though, is a right fucking hassle.

It involves lawyers, which Calum hadn’t expected, and it involves a surveyor, which he’d never even heard of, and it involves his parents insisting on coming down to London to look at the property he’s chosen, like they can’t trust him to make an adult decision. 

(Well, Calum thinks, when Liam casually offers him a bump of coke in the pub the evening before they're due to go down to London. Maybe they’re right.) 

His mum thinks the kitchen is too small for entertaining, and Calum doesn’t have the heart to tell her that the kitchen probably won’t be used for anything other than storing alcohol for a good few years, and his dad thinks the shower could do with replacing, which Calum just nods at - he’s not sure how he’d go about doing that; call a plumber? A builder? He’ll figure something out - but they both nod, satisfied, when Calum’s finished the full tour and turns back to them expectantly. 

“How close did you say Liam would be, again?” his mum asks, too casually, and Calum can’t help but laugh as he leads them out. 

There’s no way it’ll all be done before they have to head back out on tour again, so Calum has to sign a bunch of documents authorising his parents to be informed about what stage of the buying process he's in, but the lawyer Noel had found for him assures him that everything will be done by the end of January when they’re back for a few days for the NME awards and Calum’s birthday. 

About a week and a half before the NME awards, Michael calls. 

“A little birdy tells me you’re buying a place in London,” is how he greets Calum when Calum picks up the phone after hearing the Calum, it’s Michael yelled up at him from the kitchen, and Calum can’t help but huff out a surprised laugh. 

“How the fuck d'you know that?” he says. 

“I’ve got my sources,” Michael says, and Calum can hear that he’s grinning. 

“You’re not spying on me, are you?” Calum says, a little suspiciously. 

"'Course not," Michael says breezily. "Can't speak for Damon, though. Y'know, this whole Blur-Oasis thing is really stepping up a notch with the NME awards around the corner." Calum can’t help but smile himself, grinning down at his lap. 

“Fuck off,” he says, and he feels comfortable saying it, and Michael laughs, and it all makes a strange warmth curl up and make a home for itself in the pit of his stomach. 

“Dave’s looking to move to Kentish Town,” Michael explains. “Went to an estate agent, who said it was surprising to see three members of Oasis and one member of Blur there in the space of a week.” 

“Those bastards,” Calum says evenly. “Thought we were paying for exclusive rights to their services. Pretty sure Liam would've made sure we had a verbal contract, or something; none of those Blur cunts allowed." Michael laughs again, and the sound goes straight to something deep in Calum, something that he reckons might be either his heart or soul but chooses to ignore because he can feel the threat of panic rising in his chest at the very thought of entertaining that idea. 

“What made you decide to move down, then?” Michael says, and Calum shrugs, even though Michael can’t see him. 

“Thought it was about time I moved out,” he says. “And- y’know. London’s sort of the place to be, if you’re in the music scene.” Michael hums. 

“Y’know Kentish Town’s right around the corner from Camden?” he says, a little too nonchalantly. “‘S where that fish and chip shop I took you to was.” Calum swallows. 

“Yeah, I know,” he says. He hesitates, and then adds, in an equally too-casual voice: “You’ll have to show me around the area.” 

“Might do,” Michael says lightly. “For a fee.” 

“I’m going to be skint after buying this place,” Calum tells him. "It'd be an act of charity." 

“Who said the fee was monetary?” Michael says, and Calum’s heart skips a beat. He clears his throat, and goes to say something, but can't. It doesn't matter, though, because Michael’s carrying on, a little hastily, like he’s picked up on Calum’s silence. “You could nick me a few of Noel’s songs. Damon’s really struggling for lyrics. Came into the rehearsal room yesterday after being stuck in traffic with a song that goes who maddest one on the M1?” He pauses, and then says: “It’s pretty good, though.” Calum can’t help but snort at that, heart beating a little too fast, even though Michael’s glossed over the awkward moment. Or maybe papered over it; Calum's never been great at telling the difference.

“I’m not looking to get murdered,” he says, and Michael sighs dramatically. “Plus, it’s not like Noel’s lyrics are any better.” 

“True,” Michael muses. “What’s that one about, fucking, Mr Soft?” Calum huffs out a laugh at that, leaning back on his bed. 

“Don’t remember a song about fucking Mr Soft,” he says, and Michael tuts, but Calum can hear the note of amusement in it. 

“Should’ve been that instead,” Michael says flippantly. “I reckon it would’ve been an improvement.” 

“Bit rich, coming from someone who’s got a song that half-consists of the word ‘parklife’,” Calum retorts, and Michael makes a noise of indignance. 

“That’s a fucking brilliant tune,” he says, and Calum can hear the smile in his voice. 

“Damon barely even sings on it,” Calum says. 

“Shouldn’t do, either, for what we had to pay Phil Daniels,” Michael remarks. “Damon’s obsessed with getting these fucking features on. D’you know we’ve got Ken Livingstone lined up for our next album?” Calum can’t help but laugh out loud at that, bright and surprised. 

“Ken Livingstone?” he echoes. “Like, Ken Livingstone?” 

“Yeah,” Michael says, and he sounds exasperated, but fond. “I don’t know what the fuck is going through Damon’s head most of the time, but it’s easier to just give him a pat on the head and go aww, Damon, that's a lovely idea, what a clever boy you are than to try and understand him. Don’t have the energy for that. And I’m still making money, aren’t I?” 

“If your house is anything to go by,” Calum says. 

“Hey,” Michael says, mock-serious. “Let’s not talk about my house. Nice flat you’re buying.” Calum has to concede there, with a grin. He’s got a point. 

“Does Damon call all the shots, then?” he asks, a little curious. He doesn’t actually know much about Blur’s dynamic - they’re nowhere near as transparent as Oasis are, and all he really knows is what he’s heard from Michael, which seems to be that they’re decent blokes and good friends, and what he’s picked up from the Oasis camp, which seems to be that they’re all Tories and that the jury’s still out on whether they’re the antichrist or whether that’s Liam. 

“What’s this, trying to infiltrate us?” Michael asks, but Calum can hear that he’s smiling. “He tries, but Graham won’t let him. We sort of step back and let their do their thing most of the time. Alex gets involved, sometimes, but I think Graham and Damon like the fighting.” Calum hums, not really sure what to say to that, besides sounds like Noel and Liam.

“You’d like Damon, I think,” Michael says, after a moment of silence. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Well, y’know. If your insane bandmates would let you.” 

“Yeah, well.” Calum shrugs, a little awkwardly, and casts his eyes back down at his lap, picking at his pyjama bottoms. Michael doesn’t say anything to that for a minute, just breathes down the phone line and lets the two of them simmer in a slightly-uncomfortable silence, and then he sighs. 

“I should go,” he says. Don’t, Calum wants to say, but he doesn’t have a good enough reason to keep Michael on the line. Michael pauses, like maybe he’d been waiting for Calum to ask him not to go, and then sighs again. “Alright, well. I’ll see you at the NME awards, I guess.” Calum’s stomach twists. Shit. He’d forgotten Blur were going to be there. 

“Yeah,” Calum says. “Yeah, we’ll be there. Don’t think you’ll be able to miss us, the number of awards we’ve been nominated for.” Michael laughs at that, and it’s soft, but it’s a little wistful. Maybe Calum should have asked him to stay. Maybe he didn’t need a good enough reason. Maybe just wanting him to would have been reason enough. It’s too late now, though, because Michael’s saying I don’t think anyone within a six mile radius of Liam can miss him, and Calum huffs out another laugh, but the smile accompanying it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“I’ll see you then,” he says, and then hesitates, and adds: “I mean-”

“I know,” Michael says quickly, and Calum’s grateful for it. “I promise not to even look in your direction all night.” Calum snorts. 

“What’re you going to do when we’re up on stage collecting all the awards we’ve beaten you to?" 

“Go to the loo,” Michael says immediately, and this time, the smile does reach Calum’s eyes. 

“You’ll be up and down like a fucking yo-yo,” Calum says. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure, given the number of awards we’re up for,” Michael says, and it’s smooth and cocky, confident without being arrogant, and it sends something electric charging through Calum, knocking the breath out of his lungs and making his vision blur a little around the edges for a moment. What the fuck is that? 

“Guess we’ll have to wait and see,” Calum manages to get out, proud of and relieved at how light and even his voice sounds. 

“Guess we will.” Michael’s voice is light and amused, but that searing edge of confidence is still there, and Calum has to swallow, mouth suddenly dry. “I’ll see you there.” 

“You will.” He hears Michael breathing for a moment longer, and then there’s a click, and he’s gone, leaving Calum sitting in bed, staring at the wall opposite him, mind finally kicking into gear and helpfully offering him an explanation for the way his heart’s racing in his chest and his breath coming out a little shorter and shallower than before. 

Arousal. 

 -------

 They have a show in Hollywood on the twenty-second, which means Noel ramps up rehearsals for the week before they go, probably mostly because he just loves to wield power over them all. Calum doesn’t really mind, though, enjoys the way that Liam and Noel snipe at each other, the way Bonehead grumbles about needing to re-tune his guitar again because he can’t be bothered to restring it, the way that they all roll their eyes at Tony when he fucks up the rhythm for Supersonic again in the first few bars. 

Well, actually, he’s not enjoying that so much. 

See, he knows Tony’s not the best drummer, the same way he knows that Noel’s far from the best guitarist and he’s not the best bassist. They’re all getting there, though - Calum can hear how much better he sounds than even half a year ago - except for Tony. Tony’s not got any better, doesn’t even seem to care enough to try, content to get by with what he’s got away with doing so far and then go down to the pub for a pint or two and ring his missus when he gets back to the hotel, but it’s not good enough anymore. It might have worked when they were fighting tooth and nail to get on a bill, but now, when they’re selling out bigger and bigger venues, when they’re on a six-album contract and they’re in the running to be the biggest fucking band in Britain, it’s not enough. 

The tension’s been mounting for a while, the exasperated looks Noel throws in Tony’s direction turning to scornful, to ugly, twisted lips and dark, furrowed brows, but so far, no one’s said anything. Liam might snipe at him a little more, might seek him out to get out his pent-up anger when Noel’s tired of fighting with him, and Noel might snap at him faster, might say Jesus, you’re fucking incompetent with absolutely no shred of fond exasperation, but no one’s said anything. It’s only a matter of time, though, Calum thinks, as he watches Tony falter on the beat again and Noel turn around, fingers stilling on the strings, shoot him a furious look and say d’you feel up to doing your fucking job today, or what? Should I do it myself? They’re going to have to address it at some point. 

Not now, though. Now, they’re flying to America again, and Calum’s trying to get Liam to go to sleep on the flight instead of demanding peanuts from the poor air hostesses every two minutes, and Noel’s turning around in his seat and saying stop kicking me, you dick to Bonehead, who just shrugs and kicks harder, and Tony’s pretending to nap across the aisle. Everything’s in its strange, fragile balance, and none of them want to be the first to upset it. 

The show in Hollywood goes well enough - which is measured by the fact that Noel only had ten minutes of criticisms to hand out, rather than the usual twenty - and then they’re flying back to the UK, drugged-up and exhausted from jumping back and forth across timezones, being ushered into a hotel in London and told you’ve got a day off, and the NME awards in the evening. That’s a human evening, Bonehead, not fucking midnight. Calum’s sharing with Liam that day - or is it night, he can’t fucking tell anymore - and they just fall right into bed and sleep for sixteen hours, only waking up at five in the afternoon when someone hammers on their door and shouts Noel says to wake you up, and to tell you that you’re lazy cunts. Liam rolls over, and blinks blearily at Calum. 

“Time’s it?” he mumbles, and Calum squints at the bright red numbers on the alarm clock balanced precariously on the edge of his bedside table. 

“Five,” he says. Liam groans, and rolls onto his back, staring at the ceiling. 

“Fucking Noel,” he says. “Don’t even have to leave for another hour. Prick just wants to torture me.” 

“Probably,” Calum agrees, because that sounds like Noel. Liam groans again, rubs at his eyes, and then pushes himself up on his elbows, looking back over at Calum. 

“Did we raid the minibar last night?” he asks, and Calum thinks for a moment, and then shakes his head. Liam smiles, satisfied, and swings his legs out of bed, stretching and yawning as he gets to his feet. 

“Perfect,” he says, heading straight for the little fridge under the desk. “Noel can pay for these, then.” Calum just rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning when Liam winks at him over his shoulder and tosses him a little bottle of vodka. 

They drink the entire minibar between them, and by the time they’re heading out for the car that’s waiting to pick them up, Calum’s laughing at everything Liam’s saying, skin pleasantly warm and tingling, which is just encouraging Liam to say stupider and stupider things and gesticulate more and more wildly. Usually, Noel would nip that right in the bud, but he’s a little pink-cheeked himself, just laughs along at Liam’s antics and the weird little stories he tells on the journey to the venue. 

It’s fucking packed when they get there, and Calum’s almost blinded when a few cameras go off in his face, and he barely has time to think brilliant, bet I look fucking great in those before someone’s tugging on his sleeve and pulling him up the steps and inside. He’s still blinking away the blue-green-purple behind his eyes as he stumbles into the room, gets ushered to a table with the rest of them, and twists around in his chair, trying to drink in the rest of the room. 

It’s fucking packed, and it’s full of people Calum recognises from festivals and from magazines and newspapers - Elastica, Radiohead, Suede, Pulp - but he’s only really looking for one band. He’s trying to do it as subtly as possible, though, knows he doesn’t have a lot of time to look before Noel notices and gets shirty about it, but can’t find them anywhere in the crowd of people as people get up and sit down and lean around their table to talk to someone at another table. He turns back to his own band, tuning into the conversation that’s going on about whether or not they’d actually been nominated for Best Single; he'll just look for Michael the next time the Gallaghers have gone to take whatever it is they're on tonight.

There’s drink on the table, and there’s drugs in Noel and Liam’s pockets, and by the time the ceremony’s begun they’re all looking very fucking merry and pleased with themselves. The brothers actually manage to behave themselves, though, sitting back quietly as the first award - Best LP - is introduced. 

Of fucking course, it’s Blur. 

They watch as Blur traipse to the stage to a round of polite applause, looking very relaxed and pleased with themselves, coming from somewhere against the wall to the far left of the Oasis table, and Calum feels his heart start to speed up as he spots Michael at the back of the group, saying something to Graham with a smile on his face that makes Graham laugh too as they follow in Damon, Dave and Alex’s wake. 

Damon leans into the microphone, saying something about thank you to the fans, blah blah blah, but Calum’s just staring at Michael, willing him to catch his eye. Michael’s scanning the crowd in a way that Calum could mistake for idle if he didn’t see the slight narrowing of his eyes, the slight downturn of his lips. He’s looking at the back, then at the left, then somewhere around the middle, and then finally his eyes fall on Calum’s table, and his lips curve upwards ever-so-slightly. 

And then, like Noel and Liam aren’t sat right fucking there, he winks. 

Calum knows what he’s saying. First award goes to me, eh? Fucking cocky little shit, he thinks, through the haze of alcohol, but it makes his next intake of breath a little sharper all the same. 

“Pricks,” Liam says derisively, reaching for another beer. Calum hums his agreement, but his eyes don’t leave Michael, who’s now trying to suppress a fully-fledged smile. Calum shakes his head, almost imperceptibly, and reaches for his own beer, just for something to put between himself and Michael. 

Damon finishes his speech, thank you to their management, blah blah blah, and then they’re heading back off the stage, and Michael breaks his eye contact with Calum easily, like it’s nothing, tossing another nonchalant comment that Calum can’t make out in Damon’s direction. It sort of stings, seeing how easily Michael can act like it's nothing, but it’s also an odd relief, because Calum’s all too aware of the two fuckers he’s sat between. 

He’s downed another beer by the time the next award’s being announced - Best Single - and it looks like they have indeed been nominated for it, because they win it. 

“Fucking get in,” Liam crows, getting to his feet, and Noel doesn’t even have it in him to do anything but cuff him upside the head fondly as they head for the stage. 

“None of you cunts deserve this,” he says, as they jog up the steps. “Least of all you.” He directs the last part at Tony, but unlike the first half of his sentence, it’s got an edge of venom to it, a bit of Noel’s cruel streak leaking through. Calum shoots Noel a sharp look as they head for the podium, because tonight is not the fucking night, and shakes his head. 

“Don’t be a cunt,” he says, and Noel just shrugs, turning away from him to accept their award and then stepping over to lean into the microphone. Liam’s there too, quick as a fucking flash, not willing to let Noel have any more than about forty percent of the limelight, and Calum just rolls his eyes and steps back, deciding to just let the fucking shitshow happen. He’s got other things to think about, anyway - Blur had come from his left when he’d been sat down, so they should be sat somewhere on what’s now his right, and he frowns as he scans the room, squinting into the bright stage lights as he tries to make out the all-too familiar shape of Michael sat at a table.

He actually spots Damon before he spots Michael, and he feels an odd stab of excited anticipation make his heart lurch as his eyes slide around the table, like he’s a fucking fifteen year old with a crush again. There’s Graham, Dave, some woman he doesn’t know, Alex- 

Luke.

Fucking hell. 

He’d completely forgotten, somehow, that Luke - and Ashton, who’s sat right next to him - were going to be here. It makes his stomach tighten, seeing the two of them again in this unfamiliar context, makes him blink like they’re going to fucking disappear if he tries hard enough. Luke’s hair is long, now, curly like it always used to be after they’d been swimming at Bondi Beach, and he’s broad as fuck, fills out the shirt he’s wearing in a way that would probably make Calum’s mouth water if it were anyone other than Luke. Ashton looks older, too, has his sleeves rolled up far enough to expose very muscled arms, hair dyed black and one slightly-curled strand falling into his eyes. He’s got his hands in front of him, clasped together and elbows on the table, and Luke’s leaning back in his seat, one arm around the back of Ashton’s chair, leaning into him a little. They look the same, and they look so different.

Calum doesn’t even realise Liam and Noel are done with their antics until Bonehead shoves at him with his shoulder and inclines his head with a frown, signalling get off the fucking stage, you prat. It only just occurs to his alcohol-addled mind to flick a quick glance over at Michael, who’s grinning up at him easily, even looking a little proud, and it makes Calum’s already-leaden stomach flip somehow, in a way that he thinks might be pleasant but isn’t entirely sure about. 

He follows the rest of his band off the stage in a daze, almost trips over his own feet at least four times on his way back to the table, drawing enough attention to himself that Liam throws him a frown as they sit down, concern for Calum cutting through all the drink and drugs in his veins. 

“What’s up with you?” he asks, managing to make it sound hostile somehow. Calum blinks at him. 

He can say it, can’t he? It’s not like they’ve got any shit with Luke and Ashton. Well, Noel probably will on principle, but anyone who isn’t the most vindictive person on the planet shouldn’t have. 

“I, uh,” he says, and clears his throat as he realises Noel’s tuned into the conversation too, even though he’s still facing the stage, sitting far too still as he listens to what Calum has to say. “I saw the Blur table. Michael’s brought two of my best mates from Sydney.” 

“Oh,” Liam says, sounding a little disappointed, like he’d been expecting something juicier than that. “D’you wanna go and say hi?” That gets Noel to turn around, to shoot Liam a furious glare. 

“Are you insane?” he demands. 

“What?” Liam says defensively. “They’re his mates.” 

“They’re with Michael.”

“So? They’re still Calum’s mates.” 

“They’re with Blur.” Liam scoffs. 

“Don’t be so fucking unreasonable,” he says, raising his voice a little to be heard over the applause as the next award is announced - Calum has no idea what it is, but Blur are receiving it again. Noel laughs incredulously, and his eyes are narrowed and cold, and Calum thinks for fuck’s sake, not again. 

“I’m being fucking unreasonable?” Noel says. 

“Yeah, you fucking are,” Liam says stubbornly. “What the fuck have they done? They’re not in Blur, are they?” 

“They’re-” Noel cuts himself off, throwing his hands up in the air, like the fact that Liam’s not on his side on this is beyond him. Liam throws him one last look, and then turns back to Calum. 

“D’you want to say hi?” he asks again, and Calum hesitates. He’s not really sure. 

“Jesus, why don’t you ask him if he wants to fuck Mike again too, while he’s at it?” Noel says scornfully, which makes Liam’s eyes flash with anger for a moment, and he rounds on Noel again. 

“Shut the fuck up,” he says. “Just fucking leave it.” 

“Leave it?” Noel echoes. “Leave-” 

“Stop it," Liam says, something uncharacteristically firm and serious to his tone. "You’re making yourself too obvious.” That makes Noel’s mouth snap shut, but his jaw muscles continue to work furiously as he glowers at Liam, something so irate in his expression that Calum can’t even read it. He doesn’t want to, anyway, not when he sees the defiant set of Liam’s jaw and realises they’re having one of those brotherly we know something you don’t know moments, sees the silent conversation occurring between the two of them and just waits it out, waits for one of them to snap. It’s Noel this time, folding his arms and sitting back in his chair, still glaring at Liam, but Liam seems to know what he means by that, because he throws Noel one final look that looks almost like those I’m disappointed in you looks that Noel so often sends Liam, and turns back to Calum again. 

“Let’s go over,” he says. 

“Not now,” Noel says sternly. Nothing to do with Blur, though; this is Noel’s business voice. “We’re in the middle of a fucking awards ceremony.” 

“So?” Liam says, with a carefree shrug. 

“No.” Liam looks like he wants to argue for a moment, but Noel holds his gaze, and eventually Liam sighs and slumps back in his seat. 

“Fine,” he says sullenly, but before Noel has time to say something cutting in response, everyone around them is jumping to their feet and cheering. 

“What?” Calum says to Bonehead, who throws him a funny look. 

“Best new band,” he says, and Calum’s heart clenches, but in a way that he definitely likes. 

Fucking hell, he thinks, as he gets to his feet and grins broadly at Noel, who grins back, the previous conversation completely forgotten. Well, that makes him two-for-two with Michael, doesn't it?

 -------

 Oasis end up winning three awards, eclipsed only by Blur, who take home five. Liam claims that they win four, though, because Alan wins the Godlike Genius award, and he’s basically Oasis, innit? Oh, fuck off, Noel, you’re not Oasis. If anything, right, I’m Oasis, ‘cause- and then Calum tunes out. 

Someone mentions something about an afterparty, because of course they do, and everyone agrees enthusiastically. They’re all getting to their feet when Liam turns to Calum with a look of surprise on his face, like he’s just remembered something. 

“Your mates,” he says, and Calum swallows. His mates. 

“Yeah,” he says. “Uh- yeah. I might-” he cuts himself off, but Liam gets it, and nods. 

“Want me to come over with you?” he says, and Calum hesitates. No, because I’m not sure I can handle the guilt of being around you and Michael at the same time is thrown up at him by his mind, but his heart says yes, please. I’m scared. I need you there. 

“Can you refrain from calling them all cunts for five minutes?” Calum says, because he can’t say please, and Liam grins, a sparkle in his eyes. 

“Guess we’ll find out,” he says cheerily, and skirts around the edge of the table, making a beeline for the table Blur are gathered around on the other side of the room, lingering and laughing at something Michael’s saying with big, grand hand gestures. He can feel Noel’s eyes on the two of them as he jogs to catch up with Liam, who strides like a fucking maniac despite the fact Calum’s got a good three or four inches on him, but he doesn’t say or do anything. That’s almost more dangerous, though, Calum thinks, because Noel never forgets, just files the information away to act upon later. He doesn’t have time to worry about it, though, because the speed with which Liam’s powering towards the table means they’re there before Calum’s really realised they’ve crossed the room, the band and the other assorted people that Calum doesn’t know blinking at them curiously. Well, blinking at Liam curiously, Calum thinks, stomach bottoming out. They all know about him and Michael talking again, don’t they? Do they know that Liam doesn’t know? Do Calum’s fucking rivals know how Calum’s betraying his own best friend? 

“Who’re you?” Liam says to Luke and Ashton, ever the fucking diplomat. “Cal says you’re his mates from Sydney.” The two of them blink at Liam, clearly not entirely sure what to make of him or the situation, until Ashton clears his throat. 

“Uh, yeah,” he says, and Calum’s next exhale comes out a little shaky at the sound of his voice. It’s so fucking familiar, has the same intonation and confidence it’s always had, and the same thick Australian accent that both he and Michael have lost along the way.  

“I’m Liam,” Liam says, completely oblivious to the entire group of people staring at him like he’s absolutely insane. Well, Calum supposes, he must be used to that. Pretty much everyone stares at Liam like he’s insane, most of the time. 

“Oh,” Ashton says, and shoots Michael a look, like he’s not sure what to do. “I mean. We know.” He hesitates, and then adds: “We really like your album.” Liam grins. 

“‘Course you do,” he says breezily. “It’s fucking brilliant.” 

“We’ll see you at the party, Mike, yeah?” Damon says, and throws Michael a pointed look. Michael just shrugs, and Damon looks at the rest of the table, who all kick themselves into gear and start slowly ambling away from the table as they shrug their coats on, mumbling to each other too quietly for Calum to hear. Damon’s the last to go, tossing Liam an easy smile, a glint in his eyes.

“Nice to see you again,” he says. 

“Fuck off,” Liam says, not even bothering to look away from Ashton, and Damon’s lips just twitch in an amused smile as he catches Michael’s eye, who rolls his eyes at him and shoos him away. He goes, though, turns on his heel and jogs to catch up with Graham, who’s been loitering a few tables away, seemingly waiting for him, and Liam leans forwards, rests his elbows on the vacant seat in front of him and puts his chin in his hands. 

“Who’re you, then?” he asks again. 

“I’m Ashton,” Ashton says. 

“I’m Luke,” Luke says, and his voice is deeper than Calum remembers. 

“Right,” Liam says, and then glances at Michael. “Are you gonna fuck off, or what?” 

“Me?” Michael says. “No, I’m alright.” Liam narrows his eyes at him, and Calum watches a flash of amusement cross Michael’s face before he schools his features into something convincingly solemn again. 

“Hey, Cal,” Ashton says, before Liam has the chance to tell Michael to get to fuck, or whatever, and Calum tears his gaze away from Michael to meet Ashton’s eyes. 

“Hi,” Calum says, throat suddenly dry. He clears his throat, and tries again. “How’re you?” Ashton blinks at him. 

“Good,” he says, “we’re good, yeah.” He glances at Luke, as if to anchor himself, and it makes Calum’s heart ache, makes memories of Luke doing the same to Ashton five, six, seven years ago bubble up in his mind. 

“Michael says you’re a teacher now,” Calum says, just for something to say, wanting to cry at the awkwardness of the atmosphere. It seems to be the right thing to say, though, because it makes Ashton’s lips hitch up in a smile, something warm reaching his eyes. 

“Yeah,” Ashton says. “Yeah, I teach RE.” Calum smiles at that, and he can’t help but glance over at Michael, thinking about their conversation a few weeks ago. Michael’s looking at him too, and their eyes lock for a split second, held together by a private memory, before Calum breaks it to look over at Ashton again. 

“Could’ve guessed that,” he says, and Ashton’s smile turns into a grin, something like relief tingeing it, like he hadn’t been quite sure how Calum was going to react to him. It emboldens Calum to add: “You and your fucking philosophy.” 

“Hey,” Ashton protests, but he’s still smiling. “Not all of us are cut out to be rockstars.” 

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Michael says, and Calum remembers. 

“Oh, hey, d’you still play drums?” he asks, and Ashton wrinkles his nose. 

“‘Course he does,” Michael says. 

“Well, y’know-” Ashton starts cagily, but Michael interrupts him with a scoff.

“Oh, shut up,” he says in exasperation, rolling his eyes, but it’s utterly fond. “He’s the fucking man of the scene in Sydney.” 

“You’re in a band?” Trust Liam to be suddenly interested. 

“I- well, I’m in a few-” 

“You’re in a few?” Liam frowns, and pauses, before asking: “Are you really fucking good, or really fucking shite?” 

“Really fucking good,” Michael puts in, and Liam shoots him a glare. 

“Did I ask you?” He doesn’t bother waiting for a response, though, just rounds on Luke, and asks, blunt as fucking anything: “D’you talk?” Luke’s eyes widen, and he looks so much like that seventeen-year-old that Calum had left behind that it makes Calum’s head spin for a moment. 

“Don’t be a cunt,” Calum tells Liam sharply, who turns enough to throw Calum a look over his shoulder. 

“Just asking a fucking question,” he says, but it’s grumpy, which means he’s going to relent. 

“Michael says you’re a pilot,” Calum says, to try and ease the tension, and Luke’s eyes flit to him. 

“Yeah,” he says. 

“That’s pretty cool,” Calum says, and Luke hesitates, and then smiles. 

“Coming from you,” he says, and Calum grins back. 

“International rockstar’s a pretty good job,” he agrees, and Luke’s smile turns into a full-blown grin too. 

“Is that what you write down on visas?” he says, and Calum snorts. 

“I don’t, but this prick does,” he says, nodding at Liam, who just smiles inanely. 

“Not gonna lie to the authorities, am I?” he says, and Luke, Ashton and Michael all laugh, and it’s real. It’s not forced, it’s not polite, it’s real and amused and warm, and Calum thinks he might have ascended to another fucking plane of existence, seeing his two best friends from Sydney, his best friend now, and his- well, whatever the fuck Michael is, all getting on, if only for a moment. 

It hurts, though, because he thinks this is what it could be. This is what I could have, if Noel and Liam weren’t such fucking cunts. 

“Right, are you done?” Liam says, straightening up again. “We’ve got drugs to take.” Michael rolls his eyes, and Luke and Ashton look a little startled, and Calum thinks oh, fucking hell, but he sighs, and steps back. 

“We’re in the UK ‘til Saturday,” Ashton says. “We, uh. It’d be nice to see you. If you have time?” Calum blinks at him. Fucking hell, he doesn’t know his own schedule; he just jumps when Noel tells him to. 

“I, uh,” he says, but Liam speaks for him. 

“Could do Friday,” he says. “If you can come to Manchester.” Ashton glances at Luke, who shrugs. 

“I mean- yeah, sure,” he says, and Liam nods, satisfied. 

“Seven at the Vic on Burnage Road,” he says. 

“Is this an open invitation?” Michael asks mildly, and Liam glares at him. 

“Not to you,” he snaps, and puts his hands in his pockets. “Right, well. Nice to meet you. Me and Calum’ve got toilet lids to be getting to know. See you Friday.” Calum just blinks, not entirely sure what’s just happened, watching as Liam slopes away. 

“Uh,” he says intelligently. “Sorry about him.” 

“He’s…” Luke trails off, and Calum can’t help but huff out a laugh. 

“Yeah, he is,” he says, but he can’t hide the fondness and pride in his voice. “I- sorry, I really should- Noel’s-” 

“No, no, don’t worry,” Ashton says. “We’ll see you on Friday.” Luke’s still watching Liam, who’s now hovering in the door and throwing Calum an impatient glance, apprehension etched on his features.

“Will he be there?” he asks.

“I- uh. Seems like it.” Which is fucking insane. 

“Right.” Luke doesn’t sound too happy about that, but Ashton throws him a stern look, and he just sighs and then smiles at Calum. “See you on Friday, then.” 

“See you,” Calum echoes, and then throws Michael a glance. “I’ll-” 

“Yeah,” Michael says quickly, so Calum won’t have to say it. “Don’t worry. I know.” He smiles, and he means it, and Calum wants to cry. He doesn’t deserve Michael. 

He turns on his heel and jogs to the door, still trying to process what the fuck’s just happened. It must be written all over his face, because Liam frowns at him when he gets to the door, and then squares himself, looking a little hostile.

“What?” Liam says defensively,. “They’re your mates, aren’t they?” 

“Well, yeah, but-” 

“And they’re not in Blur.” Calum hesitates. 

“You don’t have to,” he says, and Liam shrugs. 

“Yeah, I know,” he says easily, pushing open the door to the venue. There are no photographers outside, now, just a few wannabe groupies hanging around and a couple of cars still waiting to ferry people from the venue to their hotels or the afterparty. It’s one of those that Liam opens the door to, clambers into without holding the door open, meaning it almost shuts on Calum as he follows, just about managing to get his leg in without the door slamming on it. “But they were important to you, weren’t they?” 

“Well- I mean, yeah, but-”

“That’s that, then.” He blinks steadfastly out of the window as Calum stares at him for a moment, drunk brain trying to understand what’s going on, what Liam's doing for him, and why he's doing it.

God, he thinks, as the familiar guilt settles deep in his veins again. He doesn’t deserve Michael, and he doesn’t deserve Liam, and neither of them deserve what Calum's doing to them.

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[seblore]

everyday i wake up and you still havent posted your evermore rant </3

there u go boo 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

GDBDNSKDJHHDDNDS GIRL................ ok so i very cleverly avoided ranking folklore because every song REALLY HIT and the whole album was just SO.. SO.. yeah. i can however rank miss evermore. i dont want to compare the two album i do not get the point in that. both give off really different vibes. now what i will say is with folklore, AS AN ALBUM, it is just a master masterpiece. The songs flowed amazingly with each other and really held you close the entire first listen. at least thats what I felt like <3 with evermore however, the individual songs are OMG!!! THERE IS LITERALLY NO SONG I DONT LIKE FROM ANY OF THE TWO ALBUMS. but as an album on the first listen i did feel a bit disconnected from evermore which didnt happen to me with folklore. why i think that might’ve happened is BECAUSE taylor is just so brilliant m8.... the MASSIVE contrasting emotions between the songs was too much for my little brain to handle.

Ok so now that’s out of the way dhsjsk time for rankings :) i have no idea where im going to put each song im just going to make it up as we go <3 ill ALSO give you my fave lyrics from each if I remember it <333 (oh and also you’ll notice marjorie isnt here. im sorry but i never listened to it after the first listen because it hits a little too close to home and i dont want to unpack all of that now im sorry! it is a beautiful song)

14. Closure: she popped off <3 she really said dont treat me like a situation that needs to be handled 💃🤙💯 a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics HOWEVER its the first song i couldnt connect with thus it’s down here BUT I STILL WOULD LISTEN TO IT ON REPEAT THO... the last in my ranking but still fucks 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ thats taylor swift 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

13. long story short: i have never been in a relationship ever BUT GODDAMN ‘pushed from the precipice, clung to the nearest lips’ hdjsksksjjddjnBbdns jddd ubebs!:!?:?:$3&39383$hzjs WOAH.... and this bitch really summarized the full 2016 drama with long story short it was a bad time. HILARITY. yeah not much to say here tho this is just the ‘at least one mandatory song to shake your tits to on each ts album’ song of evermore <3 and always remember that if the shoe fits walk in it TILL YOUR HIGH HEELS BREAK WOOH ANDIFELLDOWNTHEPEDESTALRIGHTDOWNTHERA—

12: dorothea: making a lark of misery :D RENt free. i had to listen to ‘if youre tired of being known for who you know you know youll always know me’ 113 times to finally understand it tho 😐 some of us are stupid and illiterate have you ever thought about that miss swift???? anyways TINGTINGTINGINGINGING THE STARS IN YOUR EYES SHINED BRIGHTER IN TUPELO <33333 such an innocent feel good song I LOVE!!!!!

11. ivy: the goddamn here and the hush of mirrorball ARE THE REASON IM STILL ALIVE 😽 another lyrical masterclass <3 ‘id live and die for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time’ IS2G!!!!!!!!!!! anyways what if you cheated on your husband with me and i cheated on my husband with you and my pain fit in the palm of your freezing hands 😳 JK JK 😅 unless...... 🤪😏 hdjsks yeah this song is magnificently cursed and i am in love with it 🧎‍♀️

10. tis the damn season: this song is august but the other side of the coin. august but four months later. AUGUST SLIPPED AWAY LIKE A BOTTLE OF WINE- THE HOLIDAYS LINGER LIKE A BAD PERFUMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... she sounds so pretty goshhh! ‘time flies messy as the mud on your truck tires NOW IM MISSING YOUR SMILE hear me out we could just ride around and the road not taken looks real good now’ is on repeat in my mind. and as always the bridge ::::::::::::::.............:::::::::::::: how does she do this everytime. ‘and wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles im faking’ 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ after every ts song i listen my expectations about true love grows exponentially and my chances of finding true love falls exponentially simultaneously ADIEU.

9. willow: she really took the invisible string quartet and put it in huh..................... FUCKED IN THE HEADDDDDDDDDDDDDD. what can i say <3 its just such a pretty song <3 hashtag gorgeous hashtag i cant say anything to its face. WRECK MY PLANS!!!!!! WRECK IT BITCH!!! ‘wait for the signal and ill meet you after dark’ LOVE STORY WHIPLASH. also mate i cant even focus on the song she looks SO GOOD in the music video i—

8. happiness: !!!! what can i say.... one of the best songs of the album hands down. lyrical masterpiece AND musically rich. she really logged into tumblr dot com and typed out ‘THERE’LL BE HAPPINESS AFTER YOU’ AND ‘THERE WAS HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF YOU’ ARE IDEAS THAT CAN COEXIST and logged off...... h8 her and her insanity. the one word i have to describe this song is: picturesque. tis a picturesque song <3 oh and dfbhhffcbhDDVHHTRSDVJK when i heard ‘i hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you’ i audibly GASPED and then she says ‘no i didnt mean that sorry i cant see facts through all of my fury’................. i fell out of my chair. IT FELT LIKE AS IF SHE HEARD MY GASP AND TOLD ME SPECIFICALLY THAT NO SHE DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT... anyways yeah. ill write an article one day named THE SWIFT DECEPTION OF TAYLOR about how she keeps writing songs with deceptive titles and this will be the opening case 😈🤙 also the fact that this is one of my faves and i put it in number 8 says a lot......

7. evermore: i havent recovered from ‘motion capture. put me in a bad light’. i mean come on the whole goddamn song is a lyrical masterpiece. ‘writing letters addressed to the fire’. IS SHE OK!????????????? i think tf not. beautiful song beautiful arrangement. iver sounded really good too. and lol lol rofl WOOFWOOFbarkbark ‘HEY DECEMBER GUESS IM FEELING UNMOORED’ unmoored definition from google dot com: no longer attached. she doesn’t go back to december anymore. about2 faint oml. long story short: i did not survive. THIS PAIN WOULD BE FOR EVERMORE........ what i felt with this song is that she took the quarantine sadness we all felt at least once this year and made it into a masterpiece of a song. couldve been easily the top song on any album except this. no i will not elaborate <3

6. no body no crime: i cannot believe. she teased us with a musical number. this woman teased us with. a musical number. I THINK SHE IS WRITING A MUSICAL BUT I JUST CANT PROVE IT! when she wins that tony 16 years later call me prophetic xoxo. anyways yeah she literally wrote this to flex her storytelling abilities. send tweet 🐥

5. cowboy like me: YEEEHAWWW I’LL BE HONEST WITH YOU I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FULL SONG SOUNDS LIKE I JUST HAVE THE BRIDGE ON REPEAT!!!! OMFG!!! the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up. AAAA!! ??? STFU. IM NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE LYRICS MATE THE WAY ITS SUNG!!!!!!! GUT WRENCHING! the best bridge she has ever written musically. i cant stop listening to it. REALLYYY DID BELIEEEVE I WAS THE ONEEE. STORIESSS ABOUT WHEEEN YOU PASSSEDDD THROUGHH TOWN. y e l l. and then she hits me with ‘now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon.’ L ???? M !!!!! A $$$$$ O “”””” i had to pause it and sit there for 10 minutes to take in what i had just heard. case closed critical hit sustained yeedhawd.

4. tolerate it: i cried. the only reason it’s not 1 is because it hurt me too much. WHAT THE FUCK YOU MF YOU ASSUME IM FINE BUT WYD IF I BREAK FREE AND LEAVE US IN THE RUINS???? TOOK THIS DAGGER IN ME AND REMOV— m8 this physically hurts me everytime. if its all in my head TELL ME RN. aghhh aRghhhhhhh. pain. and lol she broke down sleep to its bare essentials ‘breathing with your eyes closed’.

3. ??? coney island: i know it’s a bit of a controversial top three but WHO CARES 🕴this is solely here for ‘AND IM SITTING ON A BENCH IN CONEY ISLAND wondering where did my BABYy GO’ im shaking. my bed is shaking. my body is shaking. my pupils are shaking. THE WAY SHE SINGS IT OH MY GOODNESS ME i have to lie down gimme a sec. ‘and if this is the long haul howd we get here so soon 😟’ SCREAM. and when i was hearing it for the first time and she said ‘sorry for not making you my centerfold’ i was like yeah and?? so what?? and then she hits me with ‘over and over’...... so she didnt make him/her/them her centerfold over and over !!!!!!! she is sorry she didnt do it over and over!!!!!! mannn.... the chorus.. i shall not speak. i am held at gunpoint i CANNOT SPEAK. the bridge tho dhdnsksksjsb I CAN SPEAK AND I SHALL SPEAK. BITCH WENT OFFFFFFFF. <3 this is the apology she deserved from her exes which she never got so she wrote it herself. podium. grey skies. birthday cake. ACCIDENT. im laughingggggggggggg <///3 and yeah so overall it is a really yummy song with yummy vocals and yummy arrangement 9/10 would recommend. also!! life lessons kids life lessons. disappointments? SIMPLY CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PRETEND YOU DO NOT SEE IT YAAAAAAAAAS

2. gold rush: ETHEREAL!!!!!! The last time i felt like this™️ whilst listening to a song was with mirrorball <3 the production of this song omg omg omg LOVE 💃 but what propelled it to number two status was the ‘i dont like slow motion double vision in ROSE BLUSH/ i dont like that falling feels like flying till the BONE CRUSH’ imagine how fucked in the head a person needs to be to rhyme rose blush with bone crush. yeah i have nothing more to say really this song is extremely gorgeous and ‘eyes like sinking ships on water so inviting i almost jumped in’ / ‘walk past quick brush’ ?:!:!&:8483 F A V E <33333 and the transition transmission transfusion from ‘... gray old tea cuz itll never be ᵍˡᵉᵃᵃᵃᵃᵐⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʷⁱⁿᵏˡⁱⁿᵍᵍᵍᵍ’ MADAME

1. champagne problems: are we surprised? ARE WE REALLY SURPRISED? when listening to new albums i normally listen to it at one go in order. i stick to that rule. HOWEVER after many years of my solid album listening self made rule tm i finally broke and immediately replayed this mf song after listening to it once. ‘you had a speech, youre speechless/ love slipped beyond your reaches’???? stfu???? VILE. PUNISHABLE. DEROGATORY. and welp the entire bridge ...... .... ........... what can i say. And the parallels to miss all too well??? WHAT WAS THE REASON???? your SISTER splashed out on the bottle- left my scarf there at your SISTER’s house 😐 she’ll patch up your tapestry that i SHRED- maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you TORE it all up 😐 your MOM’s ring in your pocket- your MOTHER’s telling stories bout you on the tee ball team 😐 November flush and your FLANNEL cure- PLAID shirt days and nights when you made me your own 😐 wHAT A SHAME SHE IS FUCKED IN THE HEAD IS2G........... and also why would she not rhyme POCKET with LOCKET?????? why with wallet???????????? slant rhyme why????????????? AND THE NOTE THIS MF SONG ENDS ON..... FUCKED IN THE HEAD

THATS IT. i really sat here and did this for the past 2 hours huh...... hhdjsms anyways LONG STORY SHORT: I HATE ONE INSANE WOMAN AND HER NAME IS TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT. GODSPEEED 🏃‍♀️