#‘ & sometimes i think language should cover its own eyes when it speaks ▬▬ [ v. one . ]

[behld]

@eyesolate​, tim.      what are we?

in an ideal world,      this conversation would have happened at any other time:      weeks ago,      maybe,      the last time they’d pushed their desks to the side to dance around the office after everyone else had gone home,      research foregone in favor of something that is both so much simpler and infinitely more complicated.      jon has never been the best at identifying his own feelings,      but tim has made a home in jon’s heart.      cleared out a space for himself,      hummed distant waltzes that stick to jon’s ribs and feel an awful lot like love-love-love.

this is not an ideal world.      last week,      jon had been called into elias’ office.      offered a promotion      —      one he isn’t sure he wants,      isn’t sure he’s qualified for,      but is in no position to even think about refusing      —      and told to choose assistants to move down to the archives with him.      and jon had thought,      immediately,      of tim.      had asked tim,      in that glanceaway way of his that does nothing to hide how he is trying and failing to not look like he cares about the answer,      if tim would follow him there.

the consequence of that      —      that jon would be tim’s boss,      and it would be entirely inappropriate to keep doing      ...      whatever it is that they’re doing      —      didn’t bother to rear its head until that night,      the thought springing fully formed into jon’s mind and refusing to disappear no matter how he willed it away.      alright then,      he’d thought.      they aren’t dating.      it isn’t as if jon has to break up with tim,      he just has to      ...      put some distance there.

so they’ve moved their pens and staplers and exhausted selves down to the institute’s basement.      so jon’s holed himself in his office,      given himself the shield of a closed door with an archivist nameplate on it.      he has work to be doing.      it’s the work that makes him shut everyone out,      he says,      not the people behind the door      —                 jon isn’t hiding,      he just      ...      doesn’t want to have this conversation.      not now.      not when every answer he could give is a wrong one.

now tim’s standing in jon’s office like it’s casual.      like he’s asking a normal question,      here’s your papers,      boss,      like jon hasn’t been avoiding him for the entire week they’ve been down here,      but jon sees something flicker behind tim’s expression.      what are we?      jon wants an easy response.      jon wants to leave this office      —      he is laughably out of his depth here,      has nothing remotely near an archivist’s training      —      and go back to soft dances and sweet kisses and the feeling of tim’s arms around him.      jon wants      ...      but that doesn’t matter,      does it?

‘      tim,      ’            jon says,      and he hates the way he sounds;      he has schooled his voice into something prickly and reprimanding in the hopes it will disguise his floundering,      but tim doesn’t deserve that.      even so.      jon doesn’t change anything.      can’t allow himself that vulnerability,      that softening.            ‘      we both know that it would be entirely inappropriate to pursue a      —      ’            relationship,      he nearly says,      but that’s presumptuous.      who is he to say that that’s even the path they were headed down?      he replaces it quickly:            ‘      anything,      now that i’m your boss.      ’

jon keeps his desk between them.      it is not as much of a shield as he wants it to be.            ‘      i      —      i’m sorry.      ’            he tacks an apology on quietly,      like it’s an afterthought.      he cannot assume that this matters to tim,      and maybe it’s easier to convince himself that it doesn’t,      that this won’t wrench out two hearts.      if he distances himself enough,      he can convince himself it doesn’t matter      —      maybe,      maybe,      maybe.            ‘      i need to get back to work.      if that’s all.      ’

[jtsfavslut]

Desperado [GD]

Description: Grayson participates in the famous November challenge, but Y/N has made it her mission to make him fail. 

Warnings: Ahh yes...smut, cinge, idk what else 

Word Count: 2.5K+

Touch starved.

The term was an understatement for your current situation. Why? Because your boyfriend decided to participate in the famous no nut fucking November. To say you hated it was another understatement.

You despised how committed he was to it. And to make matters worse, he didn't shave either.

And you being you, you were a whore for Grayson's beard. It was mid-November so it was right where you liked it, a bit past the scruff period.

Every Time you looked at him, your core did nothing but ache. Your legs clenched at the memory of how good he felt between them, his big arms wrapped around them; Holding you close to him as he made you cum for the 4th time that night with just his fingers and mouth.

"Penny for your thoughts?" His voice ranged in your head making you shake your filthy thoughts and memories away.

"Hmm?" you hummed turning to look at him, a smirk on his face disappearing when he licked his lips, coming back short after.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

"Nothing," you shrugged it off, but he knew. Grayson was fluent when it came to your body language, knowing what everything meant, even the slightest movement.

"Nothing? You've been staring at me and cleaning your legs, you're biting your lip and you're flushed. I know that look from a mile away, Angel," he taunted, making you turn your head and look away, scoffing in response.

"It's just hot in here. You have the heat all the way up," you murmured before getting up and walking away. 

"Are you serious?"

"It's just really hot in here that's all" an idea comes to mind and you strip your hoodie.

Grayson raises an eyebrow, already knowing where you're going with this "really"

"Yeah just really hot" you take your shirt off as well, leaving you in a bra and jeans, you were about to take off your pants before he verbally stopped you.

"Angel, don't you dare," his voice was stern and rough, letting you know you were working him up.

"What? I'm not doing anything bad, I'm gonna go swim," you replied before walking away, a smirk on your face, "To each their own Bailey, to each their own,"

"Keep it up, y/l/n," he whispered but you were long gone to even hear it, your feet dipped inside the cool pool water as you looked up at the clear sky.

Your attempt was a slight fail, it was good, just not good enough to crack Grayson.

Grayson Dolan was stubborn. Maybe as stubborn as they came, you blamed that on three things; his cockiness, his ego, and the fact that his top three had an influence on his personality.

But you couldn't give it. You had made it your mission throughout the entire month of November.

It was now the last day of the month, and you needed Grayson to crack. You needed him to crack hours before the month ended. You wanted to be as close as he could, yet as far as he could. Your plan was evil, perhaps it was, but it wasn't fair that you were forced to compete in a ridiculous, immature, high-school like bet.

You were sure this plan was going to work. You felt it in your bones. You were clever enough to use one of Grayson's qualities, and a few of his traits against himself.

If there's anything that Grayson was, other than stubborn, was dominant and jealous. One wrong look from a guy and he was railing you, fucking the pretty out of you, not that it worked since in his eyes, your prettiest state was when you were fucked out. Hair frazzled into all sorts of directions, a few beads of sweat dripping down your hairline onto your forehead, mouth slightly opened as deep, tired breaths fell past your lips, sore shaking legs, chest rising up as your eyes closed. A sight only he got to see, a sight he caused.

Your skimpy blood-red dress clutched onto your body in the most perfect way, a pair of matching heels covered your perfectly pedicured feet, a pair of silver snake earrings held onto your ears, and a simple matching snake necklace adorned your neck. A silver purse completed your outfit as you applied the last bit of gloss and highlighter you needed before slipping out of your vanity, grabbing your phone before leaving your room, walking towards the couch where Grayson laid on, a pair of gray sweats, with air forces, were present on his body.

"I'll be back around 2 am, don't wait up for me," you spoke, your nails suddenly becoming more interesting than a shirtless Grayson, "Peace you," you turned to walk away before his voice suddenly stopped you, a smirk making its way on and off of your face before you turned back around to face him.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked, placing his phone down before sitting up straight, his once hazel eyes scanning your body up and down.

"Out, where else?" you carelessly replied as he chuckled.

"Out where? With who?" he questioned, a dry chuckle falling past your lips as you shook your head, clutching on to your purse.

"The club, with Vinnie, invited me out for some drinks," you replied, only receiving a glare and a scoff.

"Since when do you go clubbing?" he asked and you shrugged.

"Since when do you care?" you scoffed, "Anyways, he's here, I need to go, have fun," and with that, you were gone.

You were out the door, as Grayson's anger increased. Sure, he did trust you. But he also knew about your history with Vincent.

He knew everything, from how you went from best friends to fuck-buddies, to best friends again, so he felt a bit uncomfortable with you going out for drinks with someone you spent countless nights with.

Vinnie however, was aware of everything. He was your last resort. You knew how jealous Grayson got whenever he was around. Of course, he agreed, knowing how sexually active you were. He knew you couldn't last a month. He was in fact surprised you had gotten this far without touching yourself, which he knew because you told, just like you did with everything else.

"Do you think this will work?" He asked, taking a shot of the tequila he had ordered, "Like was he mad?"

"He was furious, you should've seen his face," you replied after swallowing the aged liquid, the slight burn giving you nothing but satisfaction, "He should be checking my location right about now," you giggled when the tiny typing bubble popped up in your texts with Grayson. It had been a few hours since you left, meaning Grayson was probably getting ready to bring you home and punish you for being bad and bratty.

"Hey, if he doesn't give you what you want, just know, I'm always up for you," Vinnie smirked, flashing his hand on your face, rings adore his fingers, as black nail polish perfectly laid on his nails.

"In your dreams Vincent," you playfully smacked his hand, knowing he was only playing around.

"You're right, you know? I liked you more when I had you to myself," he scoffed, shaking his head, taking another shot letting out a groan at the taste.

"Oh please V, I'm sure you have plenty of entertainment around," you rolled your eyes as you stared at his hands.

Oh, how you wished Grayson would accomplish your wishes of painting his nails black, but he claimed it was simply not his style. Of course, you understood, but you still wanted him to do it, it was, after all, something you found incredibly attractive.

"Not really, no one offers what I need, you know? They all like that vanilla shit, with the aftercare and soft shit,"

"But you did that with me?" you asked confused but he just shook his head.

"Because it's you. You gave me what I needed. But anyways, your boy toy is here," he spoke as he noticed Grayson walk in. An angry look on his face as he caught a glimpse of your back and Vinnie’s face.

"Ughh, finally," you scoffed as your core throbbed, your mind suddenly imaging certain scenarios on how Grayson would take you.

"What are you doing here?" You asked as soon as you felt his presence next to you, his cologne slapping you on the face.

"I came to pick you up and take you home," he said, no emotion laced with his voice, you mentally rolled your eyes.

Your hand reached up to Vincent's, intertwining your fingers with his before letting out a whine, "But we just started to have fun,"

"I don't care. We're leaving," he spoke before leaning down close to your ear, "You're gonna get it as soon as we get in the car,"

"Ughh fine. You're so boring. You should take a shot or two sometime," you dramatically sighed before letting go of Vinnie's hands and grabbing your phone and purse, "I'll see you another time V, love you, take care," you said, sending him a smirk in an angle that Grayson couldn't see.

"Love you too, don't do anything I wouldn't do," he waved you off as Grayson carefully dragged you out of the establishment. He had parked his car in an empty and abandoned parking lot, having a plan thought out for when he arrived at where you were at.

He opened the back door of his Tesla, before throwing you inside, making sure you wouldn't get hurt, but wanting the message that he was upset to get across, "You think you're funny? Acting like a whore, wearing a slutty outfit to go out with Vinnie? Teasing me all fucking month long, acting like a fucking bitch," he spoke as his fingers came in contact with your jaw, squeezing it in the most perfect way.

Never in his life did Grayson think he would call a woman a whore. But when you came along, you brought a Pandora's box with you. He wasn't sure degrading a female would get him laid, but you introduced it to him, at first it was weird, but he took a liking to it, only with you.

"I didn't do anything," you pouted against his hand, making his other hand squeeze your hip.

"Did I tell you to speak?"

"You asked," you scoffed, eyes widening as a burning sensation spread over your thigh, followed by a moan.

"Open," he muttered, tightening his grip on your jaw, making you open your mouth before he leaned down, doing something you thought Grayson Dolan would never do, "Swallow," he muttered after spitting in your mouth. You did what he said, no questions asked, and no ounce of hesitation in your body, "good girl," he whispered before moving down to between your legs.

His hands explored your legs before you felt a couple of cold things making you look down to find a couple of rings on his fingers, yet no nail polish.

"You wanna behave like a whore, I'll treat you like one," he smirked at your facial expression, he was loving every single second of what was happening, "Mouth of fingers? Never mind, you don't get to choose, don't you dare make a sound," he muttered before pulling down your underwear.

Your body slightly jumped and the long-awaited feeling of his fingers. You bit your lip, feeling so touched that just the slightest feeling of his two fingers spreading your arousal around, "Look at you, so desperate, and wet. It's pathetic," he chuckled making you shake your head before throwing it back as he slowly slipped a finger in, just one, feeling satisfied as you spread your legs and threw your head back, he added another one, and you felt out a whine, earning a thigh smack from him, "I said no sounds,"

He dipped his head down, just feeling the presence of his mouth near you pussy was enough to make you bite your lip, and hold back a moan as he pressed soft kissed on the inside of your legs, fingers wholly moving in and out of you, until he finally placed a soft kiss on your clit, and started moving his fingers faster.

You quickly moved your hand up to your lips, muffling any sound and moan that slipped out. The feeling of euphoria and ecstasy spread quickly over your body, and a knot started forming on your lower stomach at how good Grayson was eating you out and finger fucking you.

"Gray, Grays please," you started chanting his name, not being able to hold it back any longer, the amount of pressure building up was much more than what you could handle.

"You wanna cum for me Angel, Wanna be a good girl for daddy?" He teasingly asked, his fingers moving at a pace that you thought was impossible.

"Mhm, I do please. I'll be a good girl I promise,"

"Let it go, cum for me," as soon as the words slipped out, there was no holding back, your eyes rolled to the back of your head, as you let a pornographic like moan, squirting all over his face and making a mess in the back seat of his car, your vision had truly gone white, never feeling something as strong before, not that you minded, you loved every single second.

"Oh my God," was the only thing you managed to breathe out, finally opening your eyes after a few seconds, Grayson was above you, his white shirt having some wet patches, showing how good he truly made you feel.

"I don't think you should be saying his name right now," he smirked as you shook your head, "Not after this mess you made in my car, at least,"

"I know a perfect way to make up, but you know, it's still November so," you smirked, looking at your watch, the time being 11:51, he had nine more minutes.

"Really? How so?" He teased, picking you up as he sat down, placing you bare half on his black dress pants.

"To make you feel really fucking good, right here. In this car, and you can do anything you want to me," you smirked, palming him through his pants, his bulge was apparent, but you were running out of time. 11:55

"But it's only valid for today," you added, unblocking his belt before lifting yourself up to pull his pants down, You spit on your hand before moving it, just to make him harder and work him up a bit more.

"But you have to say yes,"

11:59

"Fuck just do it," he groaned before placing his hands on your hips, making sure to align himself before slamming you down on his dick.

12:00

"Look at you, couldn't even wait one more minute," you struggle to say as he bounced you up and down on his dick, loud groaning falling past his lips at how good you felt around him.

"Shut up,"

Please I am so sorry!!! This is so bad and gross, and I got carried away...I also wrote this in like an hour!! But I said I would do it so here we are!! Anyways yeah, if you made it here because you read it I love you!! And big thanks to @blazedgraysons for helping me and motivating me to write it, I love you bitch!!! 

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 10

post directory

obsetress:

obsetress: this is actually exes au owen and viola and i. hate it

obsetress: i think exes au owen and vi actually really get along like

obsetress: same w hannah and vi

obsetress: like hannah and owen just… water off a ducks back yknow

obsetress: hannah side eyes her a lil more than owen but they always enjoy joining dani n jamie when they go to vi and beccas sometimes

em: big dumb family

obsetress: my big dumb found family

em: i think owen and vi realise they have a mutual passion for: annoying the shit out of jamie

obsetress: rip jamie taylor

em: one day i will stop bullying jamie taylor but its not today!

obsetress: interesting how

obsetress: jamie no parents dani no parents viola no parents

em: (holds back tears) fascinating

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: viola late to brunch, coming from therapy: so have you all heard of reparenting

em: viola is um. peak ‘i don’t do small talk’ she just goes straight into. tell me about ur trauma

em: she doesn’t have time!

obsetress: which honestly tracks for all of them. jamie first date mum woz looez taylor

obsetress: but yeah viola like. all the time more so, can't be assed

em: damie taking the time to make a space for these nice little earnest heavy convos god bless and then violas like (slams take away coffee on table, startling damie, rebecca unphased) so. today in therapy

obsetress: yeah and like she says she's late because she's coming straight out of therapy but she had time to get her $12 cappuccino?

---

obsetress: vi walking into isabel's room n seeing her curled up w rebecca while rebecca reads her a bedtime story

em: ah

em: AH

em: Ahhhhh

obsetress: rebecca looks up n sees her looking and smiles softly back

obsetress: rebecca kisses isabel's forehead and pulls her covers up and slips out to meet vi in the hallway and then just. rests her palms against her chest and beams up at her

obsetress:viola's just kinda staring yk

em: i think a lot about how like, as a woman of her status viola was absolutely sharp as a razor

em: knew like five languages, a lady and a scholar type deal

em: like the closest we get to that mentioned is her insane business n strategy savvy but

em: idk! viola talk dirty to me in middle french

obsetress: all of the above

obsetress: exes au viola speaks french (because duh) n portuguese n mandarin i think

obsetress: yknow business and globalization and all that

em: beautiful

em: oh my god the horses i forgot abt the horses

obsetress: THE HORSES

em: idk enough about horse girl culture but she has that crop for a reason

em: and not just to make me flustered

em: exes au viola has a country mansion or a stable or whatever and an obscene flat

obsetress: her family home

obsetress: LONG WEEKENDS AT HER FAMILY HOME

obsetress: so much potential

em: she’s walking the grounds and she’s pointing out all of the history and violas face lights up for exactly two things

em: destroying a competitor and family

---

obsetress: idk if you've ever watched dead to me

obsetress: different context but, all i could think was

obsetress: vi and rebecca stay over at dani and jamie's once in a blue moon and dani's still asleep and rebecca's working out or smth and jamie wanders into the kitchen and viola's making a french press

----

em: maybe a little buzzed but perhaps. post break up toxic danvi

[spotify link to love me dead by ludo]

obsetress: now i’m thinking about how dani and vi def hook up after they break up and how it def happens multiple times :/

obsetress: dani tops vi every time :/

em: posts danvi post breakup hookup and falls asleep... a cage of my own making bc now I’m thinking about it

obsetress: it’s what you deserve

obsetress: i hope you think about it all day with no outlet because that’s definitely what i’ve been doing

em: i have an outlet i’m gonna draw horny art

obsetress: viola like. inviting dani to a meal post breakup for closure or whatever and dani knows better but she does it ANYWAY because part of her still feels..... y’know. there’s always gonna be something there

obsetress: and viola tells her she’s found a therapist and working on herself and dani just like

obsetress: they finish dinner and dani kinda looks at her and she’s like “can i come home with you?” all matter of fact

em: olivia rodrigo voice i guess that therapist i found for you she really helped (now you can be a better woman for your brand new girl)

obsetress: and then like. dani keeps leaving stuff or viola will be like oh i found another thing of yours and the second dani comes in every time they’re both just. all over each other

obsetress: anyway um dani likes it because she doesn’t have to worry about emotionally regulating viola and can grow and be her own person but then finally they’re in bed one night and vi’s like “what if you just... moved back in”

obsetress: and dani’s just like

obsetress: she YEETS

obsetress: and then they don’t talk for however long and live their lives and never see each other again until the video store

em: i love like um. messy constant on and off danvi

em: actually dani maybe you SHOULD stop fucking your ex

obsetress: honestly SAME idk how we didn’t think of this sooner

---

obsetress: also. remembered i came up with a bunch of stuff for kmd in my notes app when i was tryna fall asleep last night so i opened it up and

[Hannah Notes App Transcription:

Danvi exes - dani actually thinks shes v empowered hooking up with her ex lmfao she’s proud of herself for not getting emotionally involved and doing something for her and thinks thats growth fjdndnkdkf]

obsetress: dani after breaking up with viola, on her way to hook up with viola

em: dani is all my mutuals that are constantly rt things about growth and cutting off toxic ppl in her life n putting out good energy

em: like i um agree w the sentiment but ur not gonna catch me rting it

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: i love her

obsetress: she's so dumb

em: danis severe astrology phase

em: brief but severe

obsetress: her crystal collection

obsetress: i can't stop thinking about the whole. dani hooking up w vi after theyre broken up

obsetress: literally have not been able to stop thinking about it since

obsetress: ugh

em: drunk em is like

em: i dont know where that came from

em: i am terrified of where that came from

obsetress: just absolutely

obsetress: unhinged and so enlightened all at once

em: i cannot stop thinking abt it

obsetress: cannot! stop!

em: i think if dani isnt gonna necessarily be stuck w eddie for like. 2 decades she can get her fix of dumb bitch elsewhere

----

em: more damie vibecca parallels: phat ass gf and lean (well. scrawny mothefucker jamie taylor) gf

obsetress: jamie why are all the women around me always so hot taylor

dani and rebecca and viola: well, actually, you’re—

jamie: wot

em: a truck or a train or whatever goes past n blares its horn every time someone’s abt to reveal to jamie shes Hot

[yourfaceislikeabluemoon]

His Little Imp

Words: 4.5k

Warning: Finger sucking, blowjob, face-fucking, cum play/cum eating, handjob, slight exhibitionism (if you squint), usual dirty talk, and language.

A/N: soooo I haven’t posted something like this in ages 👀 like I haven’t done a member x member fic in a really long time. but this idea barged into my head while I was trying to fall asleep one night and it wouldn’t go away. plus, this is a favorite trope of mine heh heh. also, it is conveniently Felix’s birthday as I’m posting this (I swear that wasn’t actually intentional, it just worked out that way lol). this isn’t edited bc I kinda forgot and also I’m lazy 😂 anywho, I hope you enjoy - I sure enjoyed writing it hehe ❤

The whipped cream was distracting. Tasty, sure, but it was the tiny glob on the side of Felix's mouth that he had somehow missed when he licked his lips that kept grabbing Seungmin's attention. After a few moments of actively trying, and failing, to ignore it, Seungmin sighed exasperatedly and reached to thumb it away. "Lix, you have whipped cream on your face," he alerted the older boy before he swiped the offending substance off his skin.

Felix made a noise of recognition and leaned forward to give Seungmin better access. The younger gently scooped the cream off with his thumb but wasn't fast enough in retracting his hand; without warning, Felix sucked the whipped cream off and giggled as his cheeks tinged slightly pink. Seungmin stilled, lips parted and eyes wide, and he could only imagine how red his own face was. Felix shrugged and looked away as Seungmin finally let his hand drop to his own lap, "Couldn't let it go to waste."

Seungmin awkwardly cleared his throat and nodded stiffly, "Uh, yeah, of course."

And that was that. They both went back to what they were doing before the 'incident', Felix acting like nothing had happened. But Seungmin was still distracted, just not by the whipped cream anymore. He couldn't get the image of his thumb in Felix's mouth out of his head; those pillowy, raspberry-colored lips, how warm and wet his mouth was, the juxtaposition of innocence and mischief that glinted in the older boy's eyes when Seungmin finally tore his gaze away from Felix's mouth and made brief eye contact, and the faint blush that dusted over those freckled cheeks.

That moment replayed in Seungmin's head way more times than he would ever admit. Not that he would admit to thinking about Felix's mouth in the first place, absolutely not. Seungmin definitely didn't think about Felix's mouth when he was tucked away in bed that night, staring at the inside of his eyelids and willing himself to just go to sleep.

~

Days later, Seungmin was cooking something in the kitchen of the dorm, it being his idea instead of Felix's for once. He regretted that idea fairly quickly when he gracelessly elbowed a full bowl off the countertop and reflexively tried to catch it, making an even bigger mess in the process. Seungmin swore and threw his head back dramatically, groaning in frustration.

"Lix, I made a mess again."

Felix shuffled into the kitchen already laughing even before he saw the state the younger boy was in, "How many times are you gonna tell me that exact thing in our lifetimes?"

Seungmin shrugged his shoulders and held up both hands, one of which was dripping with the sauce from the bowl, and stared down, past his sauce-streaked apron, at the liquid covering the floor surrounding and all over his feet. Felix tip-toed closer, avoiding the splatters and various sized puddles, and grabbed Seungmin's wrist which startled him. He looked over just in time to see Felix's plump lips closing around two fingers. The texture of Felix's tongue sliding against the pads of his fingertips, ridding them of the sauce, also rid his brain of anything and everything; his mind was just static. His entire body felt like static, too. The only place that had any feeling left was the hand in Felix's grasp and mouth. Jolts of electricity transferred from Felix's taste buds down Seungmin's wrist into the numbness of his arm while Seungmin stood motionless, mouth agape and something akin to disbelief etched into his expression.

Felix dragged the fingers from his mouth and looked off into the distance as he licked his lips, "Needs more salt."

Apparently, even when his entire body is in some weird form of hibernation, Seungmin's knack for sarcasm is completely unharmed, working as usual despite the lack of function everywhere else. So he said the first thing that barged into his empty brain, "Oh, well, hand me the salt shaker. I'll just sprinkle some on the floor here."

Felix snorted and doubled over with laughter, his tiny hands clutching his knees, "Sorry. Sorry, that, yeah, never mind." He wiped at his eyes and straightened up, "Let's clean up."

Seungmin nodded in agreement and looked disdainfully at his feet, "I really need to change my socks." Felix followed his gaze and cringed before busting out laughing again.

And just like that, they acted like nothing happened. Again. Only this time, Seungmin had a new image brandished into the back of his eyelids when he struggled to sleep that night. And this time when Seungmin replayed the moment in his mind, there was definitely no trace of innocence in Felix's eyes.

~

Now that his brain had so thoughtfully provided him with a new fixation, all Seungmin could think about was Felix's plush lips and warm, wet mouth. His eyes found Felix's face far too often and lingered on his lips for far too long. It was getting bad and he really hoped that no one noticed, especially Felix. But, alas, luck was not on his side -- it never was when it came to this 'situation'.

"Minnie, you're staring again," Felix pointed out from his spot on the couch, legs draped over the back and his head dangling with his attention fixed on his phone.

Seungmin grunted in acknowledgement and blinked rapidly. In his defense, he admittedly had been staring at Felix's mouth but sometime before his brain alerted him to look away after an unsuspicious amount of time, his thoughts wandered and he ended up staring off into space, deep in contemplation. "Sorry," he apologized and squirmed in his seat across from Felix, "Just thinking, didn't even know I was staring."

Felix hummed and spun himself around so he was sitting like a normal human being before patting the place next to him for Seungmin to come sit. "But, unconsciously or not, you've been staring at me a lot." Felix watched the younger make his way over, frowning when he sat down on the opposite end of the couch. He quickly crawled over to Seungmin and sat back on his heels, tilting his head like a confused puppy. "Is something wrong, Minnie? Did I do something wrong?" The pout was evident both in his tone and on those lips of his that Seungmin caught himself gawking at yet again.

Seungmin vehemently shook his head and tried to back away but was blocked by the armrest, "No! No, not at all! Everything's fine!"

Felix hummed again, squinting suspiciously as he eyed the younger boy before his expression morphed into one of smugness and teasing. "Like what you see?"

Snapping his eyes up from where they had been watching Felix speak, Seungmin swallowed thickly, "Uh, is that a trick question?"

Felix shook his head slowly and bit at his bottom lip. "Oh, come on. There must be something keeping your attention or else you wouldn't be staring at me every waking moment!"

Seungmin floundered, unable to come up with an answer. What was he supposed to do? Tell him the truth? Oh, yeah. Sorry, Felix. I just have this super weird fascination with your mouth and it's all I can think about. Not just during the day, I can't even sleep at night because I keep imagining your mouth. I want you to suck on my fingers again just to feel you, nothing major. Yeah, like that was gonna happen. That would go over so well.

"Am I really that pretty you can't keep your eyes off me?"

Seungmin was abruptly wrenched from his thoughts by the boy that was still kneeling on the couch next to him. He was all too aware of the fact that they were sitting too close to each other, so much so that Felix's bare knees were pressed up against Seungmin's thigh. Seungmin's brain finally processed the question he had just been asked but before he could stop himself, he breathed out his answer.

"Yes."

Felix's eyes became hooded and dark and he leaned in closer, a smirk curving his lips. "Tell me, what's your favorite feature of mine?" It should have sounded extremely narcissistic but something in the tone of Felix's voice, a bit contemptuous with just a hint of genuine curiosity, made Seungmin heat up, surely blushing a brilliant shade of red under Felix's enticing gaze.

Seungmin's mouth went dry and he found himself swallowing again as he fumbled for another answer, but Felix held up a finger to halt him. "Wait, let me guess! Could it be my tiny hands?" He wiggled his fingers and scrunched up his nose cutely.

"Oh, maybe it's my eyes," Felix tilted forward again, batting his lashes seductively and looked up at Seungmin through them.

The older suddenly sat up on his knees and lifted his shirt, causing panic to rise in Seungmin and something else. "Probably my itty-bitty waist, right? Wanna grab at it with your big, strong hands?" Felix teased as Seungmin's eyes wandered over the expanse of skin directly in front of him, defined abs, deep v-lines, and that tiny waist.

Seungmin was sweating. Or maybe that was drool. Probably both. And he wanted to touch. Bad.

He instantly glanced up when Felix started talking again, "But that wouldn't make any sense." He dropped his shirt and plopped back down, pouting because he hadn't guessed correctly yet. "You've been staring at my face this whole time." Realization washed over Felix's face and the smirk made its way back onto his plush, tempting lips.

And it was in that moment that Seungmin knew he was fucked.

Felix had known the whole time. He was just having fun riling Seungmin up, making him sweat, making him want him even more, the little devil. "I know," Felix licked his lips, seemingly in slow motion, "It's my mouth you like, isn't it, Minnie?"

Seungmin's sharp intake of air was answer enough. Felix nodded once, "You can touch if you want."

The younger gulped and hesitantly lifted his hand to the other boy's face. When he got within an inch, Felix snarled and snapped his teeth. Seungmin practically jumped out of his skin, eyes like saucers and his breathing labored and panting.

Felix giggled. He giggled. "I'm just kidding, Minnie! I won't bite. Unless you want me to." Felix winked and sucked in his bottom lip to bite down on it. When it popped free from his mouth, the wet flesh glistened in the light and Seungmin threw all fear out the window, grasping the side of the older boy's face before slowly sliding his thumb over Felix's bottom lip and lightly tugging it down. Felix poked his tongue out impishly and hummed, giving Seungmin permission for whatever he wanted to do next.

The younger boy's stare flicked from Felix's mouth, up to his eyes, and back down again. Seungmin retracted his hand only slightly to rest two of his fingertips against the pillowiness of Felix's lips. Tongue peeking out again, Felix gently licked at Seungmin's fingers, watching him intently and gauging his reaction, and when the younger gasped and his eyes fluttered but stayed open, Felix took both fingers into his mouth and sucked.

The faintest moan slipped from Seungmin and he breathed heavily, "Lix."

Felix hummed and smiled around the digits in his mouth, laving his tongue against the fingertips and sucking diligently. He found himself leaning in even further, hands resting on the couch in front of him and his ass perked out, an elegant curve to his spine.

Felix could feel his sense of control slipping and he almost lost it completely when Seungmin pushed his fingers in further and pressed down on the back of his tongue, causing him to gag a bit. Seungmin groaned in response, free hand snaking up to rest at the nape of Felix's neck as he slid down further into the couch.

Felix took the opportunity to move his hands from the sofa seat to rest one hand on each of the younger boy's thighs. Seungmin jolted minutely at the contact but smiled weakly as he pulled his fingers from the older's mouth, a single strand of saliva connecting them like spider silk sparkling in the light. Felix pouted at the emptiness and started to lean backwards but Seungmin stopped him with both hands on his waist. Quirking an eyebrow, Felix leaned back in as Seungmin tugged him forward.

"C'mere," he slurred and pulled the older into his lap. Felix fell against him from the force and chuckled as he situated himself in Seungmin's lap, thighs resting on either side and his arms draped over the younger boy's shoulders. Seungmin stared up at him, completely entranced, eyes wandering over every facial feature, stopping at every freckle and marveling at the beauty in front of him.

Felix giggled, "Minnie?"

"Huh?" Seungmin grunted, immediately making eye contact, pupils already blown.

A coy little grin playing over Felix's face, he leaned in a trifle closer and whispered, "Aren't you gonna kiss me?"

Seungmin was well and truly fucked.

He gulped and wet his lips, steeling himself in preparation. Not that he didn't want to kiss Felix -- boy did he ever! But this was something that had only played out in fantasies behind his eyelids when he let his mind spin things just enough while he was in that space between awake and unconsciousness when he laid in bed at night. This wasn't something he ever expected to happen outside of his daydreams, so to say Felix's question caught him off guard was the understatement of the century.

Felix saw the brief flicker of panic in Seungmin's eyes and he couldn't help but frown, fearing that he had somehow made the younger uncomfortable. "Minnie, if you don't want to kiss me-"

"No! It's not that at all, believe me!" Seungmin reassured as he soothed his hands up and down Felix's sides. He chuckled despite himself, "I just- I've thought about this so much but I guess I never really thought it would happen in real life?" He winced slightly at how lame he sounded but Felix was beaming and Seungmin could see the older boy's desire to tease sparkling in his dark eyes.

"I'm curious," Felix paused to bite at his lip playfully, "How did it go in your daydreams -- us kissing?"

Seungmin yet again explored his deserted brain for an answer and came up empty handed. The twinkle in Felix's eyes somehow became even more mischievous and he scrunched his nose a little before laughing breathily, "Why don't you just show me?"

The younger nodded dumbly, a hesitant palm resting on Felix's hip while the other shakily reached for the side of his face, thumbing at his bottom lip once again. Seungmin delicately guided Felix forward, noses brushing and fingers trembling.

The closer they got, the more Felix could feel his own nervousness thrumming in his chest and he wondered if Seungmin could hear how fast his heart was racing. But, he assumed, Seungmin's heart was most likely beating wildly, too. Their breaths mingled and jolts of electricity went through them both when their lips barely grazed each other's. Felix was yearning to just dive in and kiss him hard, no second thoughts, but he wanted Seungmin to take the lead and do whatever he was comfortable with.

After what felt like ages, Seungmin softly pressed his lips against Felix's and quickly pulled back a little bit. The older couldn't help the smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. Seemingly just testing the waters with that initial peck, Seungmin searched Felix's eyes for any sort of hesitation or discomfort and when he found nothing but ardor and rascality, he leaned back in. So gently, so carefully, so sweetly, Seungmin kissed Felix and drew him in closer, chests pressed together.

Seungmin was in heaven -- Felix's lips were somehow even softer than they looked or how he'd imagined, the feeling of holding him was the definition of blissful, and he couldn't get enough.

Felix was going insane -- he felt like a madman and he felt bad about it because all he wanted to do was kiss Seungmin senseless but darling, charming Seungmin was kissing him so innocently.

A few cautious pecks later, Felix calmly pulled away and smiled warmly. "I know I'm small but you don't have to be so careful with me, Minnie. I won't break. And I don't mind if you're a little rougher with me." The older couldn't help the blush that crept onto his cheeks, "I actually kinda like it. A lot."

That was all Seungmin needed; his gaze immediately darkened and his chest rumbled in a sort of growl before pulling Felix back in. His kiss had gone from gentle and pure to searing and sinful at the drop of a hat. He was stealing Felix's breath and the older found himself gripping onto Seungmin's shirt to stabilize himself to some extent.

Seungmin bit and nipped at Felix's pillowy lips, occasionally sucking the lower into his own mouth. He licked at the seam, silently asking for permission, which Felix unabashedly gave instantly.

Felix's jaw went slack and his eyes practically rolled to the back of his head when Seungmin's tongue finally tangled with his own. He whined lewdly when Seungmin sucked in his tongue and, at the same time, squeezed his ass firmly, yanking him in even closer. Felix couldn't help but roll his hips, grinding down in Seungmin's lap and relishing in the low moan the younger let out when their clothed erections brushed against each other.

"Want you in my mouth. Wanna taste you," Felix whimpered against Seungmin's lips when they paused to breathe.

Seungmin chuckled, "Isn't that what we're doing?"

Panting, Felix shook his head and pouted, "Wanna suck you off. Please?"

Breath caught in his throat, Seungmin stared at the boy in his lap. "Any of the guys could come out or come home and see us, we're on the communal couch," he hissed, panicking.

Felix pouted more and punctuated his begging by grinding down again, "Please, want you in my mouth. Please?"

Throwing caution to the wind, Seungmin groaned and tossed his head back before nodding, "Fuck. Yeah, OK. Fuck yes."

Eagerly clambering out of Seungmin's lap and onto the floor in front of him between his legs, Felix clutched at the strong thighs next to him in anticipation. He nosed at Seungmin's clothed length, humming contentedly while the younger squirmed under him.

Seungmin's hips canted and he couldn't help but moan deeply as Felix palmed him and mumbled into his thigh, "You want my mouth just as much as I want your cock, don't you?"

"Ngh, yes. Please, Lix," he groaned at the ceiling. Felix toyed with his zipper, still keen to tease despite being desperate himself. "Please," another whispered imploration. The eldest smiled softly and obliged him, undoing his jeans and tugged them down with bated breath. Seungmin lifted his hips to make it easier, resting back into the couch when Felix had pulled them partway down his legs.

The younger was straining against his briefs, his cock having already leaked enough pre-cum for it to leave a dark spot on the front. Felix whined when he noticed it and pressed gentle kisses along the still covered shaft before sucking at the head through the material, tiny hands kneading at the meat of his thighs, fingertips occasionally slipping under the hem to rile the younger up even more. Seungmin was gripping onto the couch like his life depended on it, drunk off the pleasure regardless of the fact that he was still in his briefs.

Felix quickly solved that problem, fingers dipping under the waistband to slide down the offending item of clothing. His breath hitched when Seungmin's hard cock slapped against his lower stomach and his eyes flicked up to the younger's, mouth agape and watering. Seungmin chuckled huskily and took the perfect opportunity to throw Felix's words back in his face, "Like what you see?"

Felix blinked torpidly and nodded, unable to hide the blush that dusted his cheeks when he registered the question. Without preamble, he leaned in to suck at Seungmin's balls. "Oh!" Seungmin shuddered, gasping at the sudden contact. Felix hummed and lapped at the supple flesh before licking up to the head of his cock. There he suckled tenderly, the tip of his tongue sporadically dipping into the slit, and made eye contact with Seungmin who looked close to passing out.

Panting and squirming, it was Seungmin's turn to whimper, "Shit, Lix! You look so fucking pretty! God!"

Felix fluttered his lashes in response and sunk down on Seungmin's dick, lips stretching obscenely around his girth. He moaned at the feeling of the younger boy hot and heavy on his tongue; his eyes rolled back and drool dripped from the corners of his mouth. Seungmin moaned right along with him, throwing his head back and anchored himself so as not to thrust wildly into Felix's tight, wet throat.

"Lixie, so pretty for me," he brushed strands of hair from Felix's eyes as the older looked up at him again and rested his hand against one freckled cheek, feeling it bulge and hollow as Felix fervently sucked. "Fuck, your pretty mouth was made for my cock, wasn't it?"

Felix whined and nodded in agreement, easing more of Seungmin down with each bob of his head. When he reached the base, he swallowed tightly, tears pooling in his eyes from the discomfort. Seungmin whimpered above him, getting lost in the pleasure. "How can someone be that pretty even when they cry?" he whispered, not really intending for Felix to hear, but the older heard and preened nonetheless.

With one last lave of his tongue over the bulging veins in the underside of Seungmin's cock, Felix pulled up slowly, the head falling from his lips with a filthy pop. He pumped the length with his hand, all the saliva making the slide slippery and smooth. "I know you're close, Minnie," Felix arched an eyebrow, "Are you holding out on me?"

Seungmin's hips pitched forward ever so slightly, dick twitching in the older's grasp, "Ngh, you feel too good. Wanna feel you for as long as I can. Don't wanna stop."

"Oh, baby! I'm not going anywhere! You can have my mouth again whenever you want, don't you worry about that!" Felix placed a single kiss on the head of his cock, seemingly sealing his promise, before smiling up at Seungmin, a dash of feigned pity behind his eyes. "Besides, it must hurt to hold it in so long like this." He tutted and shook his head, "No, that won't do. I know what'll make you cum, baby." Seungmin's hips shot forward at the pet name and Felix snickered meanly, "Here, fuck my mouth. I know you want to."

Seungmin whined and whimpered and writhed. He did want to. So badly. But he didn't want to hurt Felix. The eldest noticed the hesitation and smiled genuinely, "It's ok! I like it rough, remember?" Seungmin nodded tentatively and Felix took him back into his mouth, bracing himself against the strong thighs at his sides. The younger shyly thrusted once, again testing the waters, but when Felix's throat accommodated him so well, he sighed and reached to tangle his fingers in the older's hair before beginning to shallowly thrust. Felix moaned around the cock in his mouth, loving the feeling of his throat being abused as Seungmin's pace quickened and his strokes strengthened.

The older was a whimpering mess being used for Seungmin's pleasure and that got Felix more turned on than he's possibly ever been in his life. He reached down with one hand to grip at his dick over his shorts, trying to relieve some of the pressure, but he ended up pulling out his cock to thrust into his own hand, chasing the blinding satisfaction that he was on the very cusp of.

Seungmin was scorching hot, belly burning with his release so close, "Lix, I'm- I can't last anymore." Felix hummed in encouragement, quickening his own pace on his leaking length. "Lix, can I- I wanna cum on your face. You'd look so fucking pretty with my cum on your face. Can I, please?" Felix was eagerly nodding the entire time Seungmin was begging, or nodding as best he could while choking on his cock.

The younger whispered 'thank you's over and over again as he tugged Felix off by his hair and started to jerk at his sensitive dick. Felix obediently held his mouth open, tongue lolling out in wait, and seconds later, streaks of white painted his lips. A few shot up to land across his freckled cheeks and nose, narrowly missing his eyes, which he was thankful for because he could fully see Seungmin's reaction to his face covered in his cum. And god it was beautiful. So was Felix in Seungmin's eyes. And he told him so.

"Gorgeous," Seungmin breathed, smearing his cockhead in the cum covering Felix's bottom lip. The eldest moaned and smiled, lashes fluttering closed before he suckled any leftover drops of cum from Seungmin's cock and licked his lips. He dragged his fingertips across his face, scooping up all the cum, and sucked it from his fingers, making sure to look Seungmin in the eye as he did.

"Fuck, you're filthy," Seungmin smirked and tugged him back up into his lap, "C'mere." Felix clumsily scampered up, still hard cock bouncing against his own stomach when he sat down. Seungmin glanced down, smirk widening, and took Felix into his hand. "Good. Wanted to see you cum all over yourself anyway."

Felix whined, "And you said I was the dirty one."

Seungmin smiled naughtily before leaning in closer and started to tug at Felix's cute, pink cock. "Gonna make you even dirtier." The older keened and surged forward to kiss Seungmin again. Seungmin groaned when he tasted himself on Felix's tongue but made no effort to move away which made Felix twitch in his grasp. The younger twisted his hand and thumbed at his frenulum, making Felix gasp into his mouth. He swallowed his moans and jerked him to completion, cum spilling over his hand and shooting up the front of Felix's shirt. "Looks like you made the mess this time, Lix," Seungmin whispered against his mouth. Felix punched him in the arm and giggled as he came down from his high.

The two heard a noise and Felix turned around just in time to see Hyunjin, jaw on the floor, slap a hand over his eyes, immediately do a 180, and made a beeline out of the room, presumably in the direction from which he came. Felix giggled while Seungmin groaned, "I knew we'd get caught! You're gonna pay for this, you little incubus!"

~

Later that night, far past midnight, there was a soft knock on Seungmin's bedroom door. He opened it to find his little imp smiling sweetly, already batting his lashes.

"Can I help you, demon?" Seungmin asked with a raised eyebrow.

Felix clasped his hands in front of himself and cutely twisted in place, his big t-shirt billowing out around him made him look even tinier than usual. "I believe you promised me a punishment."

Seungmin scoffed before glancing the older up and down and growled, "This time, I'm shoving my fingers down your throat while I suck you off."

Felix feigned shock as he closed the door behind himself, "Minnie, how scandalous!"

[gb-fics]

Dressed in Confidence

Fanfiction:

Kiryuuin Shou x Kyan Yutaka (Golden Bomber)

Note: So, you might have seen the self-cover Shou shared yesterday and it inspired me to write a fic right away. For the context: The character originally performing the song has a magic suit that makes him confident and popular with women. Please, don’t question how it works, we’ll just pretend a suit can magically change Shou’s appearance and personality in this fic ^-^ Also, if you haven’t seen the video, please check it out, because he is gorgeous in it and maybe it will make the story seem a little less random ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgzL_Ccmr1Y

„Just go over and talk to her already”, Yutaka urged quietly.

He didn’t know whom of the girls Shou had set his eyes on, but the glances he kept sneaking at the group of women opposite to their booth at the bar were more than obvious. Yutaka had waited to speak up until Jun and Kenji had went over to the counter to secure new drinks for themselves though. Shou was naturally self-conscious and Yutaka hadn’t meant to make him uncomfortable in front of the others. But his silent longing was becoming hard to bear.

“I can’t just do that”, Shou protested. Obviously, he knew what Yutaka was talking about immediately. He didn’t even seem surprised that Yutaka had noticed. “I’m not some kind of gigolo.”

Yutaka frowned. Although he was pretty good at seeing Shou through, he sometimes didn’t understand his reasoning anyway.

“Chatting up girls in bars and being a gigolo are two totally different things.”

Next to him Shou squirmed on the bench seat.

“I just don’t have that kind of confidence”, he whined.

“You are handsome, famous and you have money. Women have every reason to be interested in you. So, pull yourself together.”

Yutaka had lost count of how often he had given Shou similar pep talks already.

“I’m not”, Shou said right away. He cleared his throat. “I mean, I’m famous. And I do have money. But I’m not handsome.”

It was difficult to come up with the right reply to that. Yutaka never found the right words to talk about Shou’s looks.

“You should let them decide for themselves”, he pointed out.

Shou shifted his weight again. He reached down to check for the bag he kept on the floor between his legs. He had kept checking for it all evening, as if he was scared it might suddenly disappear.

“Please, if I go over there, I won’t even be able to look them in the eyes.” Shou winced.

Yutaka hoped that Jun and Kenji would hurry. The conversation was starting to make him uneasy. He didn’t know how to cheer Shou up without praising him, and he didn’t know how to praise him without making him uncomfortable. Being Shou’s friend could be difficult.

“What’s in the bag anyway?”, he changed the topic. Not the best solution, but at least a way to distract Shou from his self-pity.

“Ah, I wrote Party wo Tomenaide for that franchise, remember? They’re currently working on this magic suit and they gave me a prototype when I recorded the video for the self-cover. It’s supposed to make you cool and confident and popular with women.”

“And you brought it to the bar?” Yutaka hadn’t meant to let disdain sneak into his voice, but Shou pulled up his shoulders instinctively as if he wanted to shield himself from potential judgement.

“Just in case”, he said defensively. “We sometimes end up talking to women, when we’re in a group and I thought it might be a good chance to try it out. See if it even works. In case there is ever something I’ll need a lot of confidence for.”

Yutaka felt soothed to think Shou had only eyed the women as test objects to sate his curiosity about the suit and that he had not fallen in love from across the room. His tendencies in that regard were sometimes worrisome.

“Well then, give it a try”, he suggested. He had heard about the suit but hadn’t known Shou actually owned a prototype. He was curious, if it would work. Shou’s confidence could surely use an occasional boost and it would be great to no longer be the one responsible for it.

“If you insist”, Shou mumbled, but he was already fumbling with his bag. It was obvious he had only waited for some sort of permission.

He pulled out a suit coat and inhaled soundly before he got up. For a moment, he just stood there with the piece of clothing in his hands indecisively. Then he slipped it on in a surprisingly smooth motion.

All Yutaka did was blink and the next second, a completely changed person stood in front of him. Shou’s traditional Tamiya shirt had miraculously transformed into a silky, black suit. It even came with matching dress shoes. But it wasn’t just that. His hair had changed, too. It was styled in perfect shape and showed green streaks that made his look seem edgy and interesting. He was even wearing makeup that differed his usual style. A bright yellow flower stuck in his buttonhole.

Shou had transformed into someone so conventionally attractive, he might indeed start working at a host club.

Absent-mindedly he straightened his suit coat and turned towards the group of women.

He looked dazzling, but almost like a stranger.

Yutaka was surprised that he hesitated for so long before approaching the women anyway. He followed him with his eyes, curious how this would turn out.

Shou’s posture seemed straighter than usually as he walked through the room, yet he still managed to look awkward. He looked like a person who was arguing with himself about every step.

Finally, he stopped right behind a cute girl with bangs. Yutaka should have been able to guess it was her whom Shou had been watching. He would have chatted up her more light-haired friend, but when it came to Shou, she was just his type.

The girl didn’t notice him, though.

Shou just stood for a moment, although her friends had already noticed him. Seemingly, Shou had no idea how to draw attention to himself. He hesitated for far too long, before he reached out and tapped the girl on the shoulder. She flinched, which caused Shou to jolt in return and the whole situation was so awkward to watch, that Yutaka winced under his breath. The good looks and the confidence to approach women had done nothing for Shou’s coolness.

The girl turned around and even from across the room, Yutaka could tell that she seemed startled at Shou’s appearance. Her expression wasn’t annoyed but spoke of pleasant surprise. If a girl looked at you like that at first sight, it was very difficult to blow it.

Even from across the room Yutaka could tell that Shou would blow it.

Instead of looking at the girl while talking, he kept his eyes on the ground and his posture shifted, making it seem as if he wanted to curl back up into himself. He looked exactly as miserable and self-conscious talking to women as he had as a teenager. Everything about his body language radiated insecurity.

Yutaka sighed.

The woman shook her head. Instead of taking it with dignity, Shou managed to look even more miserable. Knowing him, Yutaka assumed he was probably blushing. He still didn’t make eye-contact.

After a very painful minute, Shou turned around and shuffled back to their table. He no longer seemed confident at all. His outward handsomeness remained, but it didn’t match with the way he carried himself at all.

“Sorry”, Yutaka said. “At least now you know.”

Shou sat down on the bench next to him again. Yutaka noticed that he wasn’t slumping down as usual, though, but sat surprisingly straight. It made him look taller and more self-assured.

“Too bad the suit is not working.”

“Oh, I don’t mind”, Shou said and turned towards him. His voice wasn’t as quiet and gloomy as Yutaka had expected. He spoke smugly. “I’d rather spend my time with you anyway.”

Yutaka eyed him suspiciously. The makeup suited him; his features looked more contoured and his skin smooth. His lips were always wide, but tonight they glistened invitingly. It was still Shou’s face, but the makeup brought out all its good qualities more strongly.

“What?”, he asked.

“Why would I waste my time with these women, when I can spend the night with a pretty guy like you?”, Shou asked. He was meeting Yutaka’s eyes head on. That was rare for him already, but tonight his gaze was challenging rather than stubborn.

Yutaka was so irritated by his unnaturally confident tone, that it took him a moment to realize what was going on.

“Oh, ha ha, very funny”, he said dryly.

“I mean it”, Shou insisted and placed his hand on Yutaka’s shoulder. He often did that, especially when he got tipsy and he had already had a couple of beers tonight, though by no means enough to justify him acting so out of character. His touch right now felt different, however. He wasn’t just seeking out body contact, he was using the gesture as an excuse to lean in, bringing them closer together. Suddenly, Yutaka was very aware of how close Shou was sitting.

“Let me buy you a drink”, he said, before turning around. Shou usually hated calling over the waiter and when they went to a restaurant together, he normally left it to the others. He was too shy and polite to raise his voice at strangers.

Now, he raised his arm and called out loudly: “Excuse me?” to make the young waitress turn around. “A bottle of champagne, please. Your most expensive one.”

The waitress nodded and headed off.

Shou turned back to Yutaka.

“Champagne? The expensive one? What’s gotten into you?”, Yutaka asked, still irritated. Before this, he could have written it off as a joke, but Shou would never waste money just to prank him. “You never order anything high-end.”

He still felt like he was talking to a stranger.

“Nothing but the best for my kitten”, Shou said.

Yutaka chocked.

“What?! What did you just call me?”

“Kitten”, Shou repeated. He sounded hoarse. His eyes trailed down Yutaka’s body and he didn’t try to hide the fact that he was shamelessly checking him out. It made Yutaka feel unexpectedly hot.

“Unless you prefer another pet name?”

And then Shou smiled.

It wasn’t a smug, cocky smile. His smile was warm and genuine and it looked just a little bit insecure as if he worried that he had crossed a line. It made Shou look shy and kind and charming. His teeth weren’t showing, but his lips seemed even wider and absolutely gorgeous and the small dimple on his left cheek didn’t seem as misplaced as usual, but it fit in perfectly with his handsome face. The smile turned him from a stranger into nothing but Shou, but the best version of Shou that he could possibly be. It was Shou the way he would look if he were no longer worried and self-deprecating; still shy but no longer scared.

Yutaka’s knees grew weak. But it wasn’t just his knees. It was his shoulders that suddenly held no tension anymore and his arms, that turned into butter and his whole body felt like it might just melt away when Shou smiled at him like this and called him cute names.

“Uhm”, he said.

“Your champagne”, the waitress interrupted them and Yutaka turned hastily, glad for the interruption that allowed him to clear his head. Something about this suit seemed to be working at least.

The waitress placed a bucket filled with ice on the table, that held a bottle of champagne. Steam was rising from the bottleneck, indicating that it had just been opened. Yutaka hadn’t expected it to be done for them already, but it was probably better that way. They would surely have created a mess otherwise.

The bottle came with four glasses and only their sight made Yutaka realize he had completely forgotten about Jun and Kenji. He wondered what was taking them so long.

“Let me get that for you”, Shou offered, although Yutaka hadn’t moved to fix himself a glass at all.

Shou placed his fingers on Yutaka’s wrist as if he wanted to physically stop him from helping himself. Once again, the gesture wasn’t untypical for Shou. He often touched people while talking to them, but this time, it had a different quality. Usually, his touches were distracted as if he didn’t really notice what his body was doing at all. But right now, he looked down on his hand resting on Yutaka’s bare wrist, and then he looked up, meeting his eyes, as if he wanted to make absolutely sure, that Yutaka became aware of the contact. His touch was fully intentional this time and Yutaka sensed heat creeping up his neck.

The touch lasted just long enough to not feel accidental, then Shou pulled back and reached for the bottle of champagne instead. He closed his long, slender fingers around the bottleneck firmly and took up a glass. His movements were secure and controlled. Yutaka had always admired Shou’s hands, that seemed too elegant and coordinated for someone who moved the way he did. But when it came to his hands, Shou always seemed to know what he was doing.

He poured a glass of champagne without spilling a drop and held it out to Yutaka.

Yutaka thought that with all the things that had changed, Shou’s hands had stayed exactly the same.

He took the glass and Shou held his gaze for a moment. It was Yutaka, who looked away first. Shou was wearing coloured lenses and his eyes were bright and intriguing. He didn’t seem in a hurry as he poured himself a glass as well.

Yutaka watched his movements closely. He could still recognize Shou’s way of moving, but he seemed less stressed and therefore less awkward. The only real difference seemed to be, that he was relaxed for a change and Yutaka wondered, if Shou would always look this sexy, if only he managed to put him at ease more.

Shou placed the bottle back into the bucket and held up his glass to Yutaka while meeting his eyes again.

“To a night full of fun”, he said. He said it like he was thinking of something dirty.

“To a fun night”, Yutaka agreed and clinked his glass to Shou’s. He did his best to make it sound less suggestive.

He emptied half of the glass in large gulps. The champagne made him feel bubbly inside, but he doubted it was because of the alcohol. This version of Shou made him nervous.

“Tastes expensive”, he observed lamely, although he couldn’t tell one champagne from the other.

Shou smiled again and once more, Yutaka thought that his lips looked stunning tonight.

“Oh, you guys ordered champagne!”, Kenji’s voice chimed in unexpectedly.

“When did you change, Shou? Is that the magic suit?”, Jun asked and pulled up his chair to sit down opposite to them.

Although Yutaka had hoped to be rescued from this weird tension, he still felt mad at them for interrupting.

Kenji placed himself on the bench next to Shou.

“He brought the suit to the bar to pick up girls, but it doesn’t work”, Yutaka declared maliciously. He was no longer sure if he was annoyed with Jun and Kenji for showing up, or for staying away for so long, or with Shou for acting so weird in the first place.

Shou patted the bench next to himself.

“Here, Kenji, come closer”, he said.

Kenji shuffled closer.

“Why?”, he asked. It was very much like Kenji to comply first and ask questions later.

Shou raised his hand and ran his forefinger across Kenji’s sharp jawline.

“So I can get a better look at your handsome face.”

Something inside of Yutaka constricted uncomfortably. He didn’t know why he felt so upset, but he couldn’t deny that he felt jealous of Kenji. Since the suit hadn’t worked on the girls, he had assumed it was only him having this effect on Shou.

“Oh god, what’s up with you?”, Jun asked, sounding seriously worried.

Kenji gave an embarrassed sound, but started pouring champagne for him and Jun as well without waiting for an invitation.

“The suit is turning him gay”, Yutaka explained nonchalantly and emptied his own glass.

“What’s turning me gay is sitting here with such cute guys”, Shou said lightly. He didn’t sound embarrassed at all. Rather than joking, he seemed flirting.

“That’s disturbing”, Jun said somewhat too loudly. “Someone get him out of this suit!”

Shou batted his eyelashes before looking right at Jun at the other side of the table.

“Please, Jun”, he said. “If you want to undress me, all you have to do is ask.”

Jun made a startled noise that turned into a mixture between a nervous laugh and a cough.

Yutaka placed his glass on the table too soundly.

Shou turned towards him. He leaned in closely.

“Don’t be jealous, kitten”, he said lowly. “I haven’t forgotten about you.”

Yutaka wondered how Shou had noticed his feelings without even looking at him, when Yutaka had troubles naming them himself. He felt oddly happy when he heard the pet name again. Shou hadn’t used it for Jun and Kenji. Maybe that meant something.

“I’m not jealous”, he lied and reached for the bottle of champagne. “I just need more alcohol, if you’re going to stay like this.”

He poured himself the rest of the champagne until his glass was so full, it nearly overflowed, before he put the empty bottle back onto the table.

Shou pulled the flower from his buttonhole. Up close, Yutaka could tell that it was a yellow rose.

“Here”, Shou said. When his voice was so low and deep, Yutaka’s body turned into butter again. He wondered, if Shou had the same effect on Jun and Kenji while wearing the suit.

“What are you doing? Get that thing out of my face!”

“Take it”, Shou insisted. “This one is only for you. To remind you, that you’re special to me.”

Yutaka hesitated. He wished Shou would sound joking, because a joking Shou was something he knew how to deal with. He still had the feeling that he was getting pranked, but he didn’t know how to avoid it.

He took the rose gingerly and placed it on the table plate demonstratively instead of keeping it in his hands. Shou’s facial expression was impossible to read. Yutaka could not tell, if he had offended him.

“It’s empty already?!”, Kenji complained. He had taken up the champagne bottle and studied it in disbelief.

“I can order another round!”, Shou offered right away and already raised his hand, but luckily, Kenji stopped him.

“It’s fine”, he said quickly. He seemed to be a little uncomfortable around this new version of Shou as well.

“Yes, I think it’s time we all go home”, Jun confirmed.

“No!”, Shou protested. “No, no! This party can’t stop! We have to keep drinking! Let’s celebrate all night.”

“It’s late”, Kenji pointed out.

“And you seem to need rest the most”, Jun agreed.

“You should take off this suit”, Kenji added. He spoke very gently, not like he was soothing Shou, but as if he was seriously worried about him.

“They’re right”, Yutaka said softly. He realized that he was worried about Shou, too. Tonight, he seemed unpredictable and possibly reckless. “Let’s pay the bill and then I’ll take you home.”

Shou turned and looked at him cheekily.

“I see, so you want to continue the party elsewhere.” His tone left no room for wondering what kind of party he had in mind.

“What? No!”

“I’ll take you to a fancy hotel”, Shou suggested and this time, he leaned in so far that Yutaka involuntarily pulled back. “Just give me a chance. If you let me, I’ll make you feel things that no woman has ever made you feel before.”

Yutaka’s neck felt hot again and now his face started to heat as well. He thought of everything that entailed. He thought of feeling Shou inside of him.

“Just let me try”, Shou coaxed, but he no longer sounded flirtatious. He sounded like he was begging. The despair in Shou’s voice scared him. He didn’t know what to do with it.

“Shou”, he said as sternly as possible and grabbed him by the shoulder to push him back. It felt like dealing with someone, who was very, very drunk. “It’s really time you take off that suit and get some sleep.”

Shou pulled back from his touch and wrinkles were showing around the root of his nose. The lines made his face look so characteristically himself, that Yutaka felt almost relieved.

“I don’t want to”, Shou said and finally, he sounded like his stubborn self again. “I don’t want this party to end.” He seemed to be repeating the words like a spell now and gestured towards the table as if he wanted to include everything. “I don’t want this night to end. I want to stay with you all night.” He gestured towards himself. “Like this.”

Yutaka didn’t fully understand what Shou meant, but his emotions seemed so raw and honest, it pained him anyway.

“You can’t, Shou. You are not yourself.”

Shou hung his head.

“I am”, he said. “I am.”

“Hey”, Yutaka said gently and touched his arm. Jun and Kenji stayed out of the conversation like they always did, when Shou turned difficult. It was only ever Yutaka, who managed to soothe him. “You need some rest.”

“Fine”, Shou agreed reluctantly. “But you have to take me. And I’m keeping on the suit.”

“Okay.” Yutaka sighed. He figured they could argue over the details later. He looked up at their bandmates. “Why don’t you guys go pay? We’ll pay you back later. I’ll make sure Shou gets home safely. Maybe the fresh air will help.”

“Alright”, Jun agreed. The fact, that neither of them argued about splitting the bill immediately although it contained the expensive bottle of champagne proved they were all irritated by Shou.

“Come here”, Yutaka said as gently as possible and took Shou’s arm to pull him up from the bench. “Let’s get you home.”

Shou followed without resistance. He picked up his bag, that was now empty and allowed Yutaka to guide him over to the front door of the bar.

It was colder outside, although the temperatures were warm enough that they didn’t need a jacket. The cold air cleared Yutaka’s mind a little, but finally getting some distance to Shou certainly helped as well. Inside the bar, he had started to feel dizzy.

Yutaka pulled out his phone and opened an app.

“I think I’m going to call us a cab, alright? We can’t take the train with you looking like this. Also, you might try to pick up random guys, if we don’t get you home straight away.”

“You’re jealous again”, Shou observed and this time, he sounded gleeful.

“I’m not”, Yutaka muttered and requested a ride before putting the phone back into his pocket.

When he looked up, he realized Shou was standing awfully close again. The suit seemed to be making him taller as well, because Yutaka had to look up to him slightly. Maybe it was just his straight posture in combination with the heel of the dress shoes though.

“Have you heard of personal space before?”, he complained and took a step backwards.

Shou took a step forward immediately. If anything, he was standing even closer than before.

“Sorry, that my handsomeness is making you nervous”, he said with a sleek grin. Yutaka had not thought that to be sentence he would ever hear from Shou unironically.

“Uh”, Yutaka said. He had been meaning to deny it, but Shou’s face was so close now, that he forgot how to say words.

“Shh, kitten”, Shou said quietly. He reached up and cupped Yutaka’s face with both hands. His touch was gentle but very secure. Yutaka could sense how bony and strong his fingers felt. They were surprisingly cool.

He knew that he was supposed to pull back, but he stood frozen, and he felt guilty for that. He knew that Shou was not himself and it was up to him to keep the situation from getting weird. But truth was, that he liked the way Shou touched him and he liked it when he held his gaze for so long and he liked it, when he called him kitten.

“Don’t”, he forced out softly anyway. “You can’t just do something like that in public.”

They were the only ones out on the street, but someone might walk out of the bar any moment. Anyone could see them.

“I don’t care”, Shou said. “I don’t want to worry about who could possibly see us. I’m tired of always worrying. I just want to kiss you.” He paused. “May I?”

Yutaka knew exactly what the answer was supposed to be. Under no circumstances could he allow this to happen, because it was reckless and dumb and moreover immoral.

“Yes”, he whispered.

Shou leaned in and kissed him with astonishing force. His kiss wasn’t hesitant at all. He kissed like he knew what he wanted. His lips were soft and his hold on Yutaka was firm. It made him feel very safe and oddly frail. He parted his lips and allowed Shou to kiss him like no one had ever kissed him in a public space before. Their teeth clicked together and Shou’s nose brushed his cheek and when he pulled back eventually, Yutaka was out of breath.

Shou looked at him and he broke into that sweet, bashful smile again, that looked so much like him, except lighter and happier than Yutaka had ever seen him before.

For a moment, he thought that he might just give in. He considered going back to a hotel with this new version of Shou, who would hold him in his strong arms and whisper sweet nothings into his ear and kiss him full of confidence. Yutaka would grow weak in his arms, because he was handsome and cool and self-assured.

But it wasn’t real.

“Stop it”, he said as gently as possible as Shou moved to lean in once again. “This is no good.”

“We can go somewhere more private”, Shou offered immediately.

Yutaka shook his head.

“It’s this suit. There is something wrong with it. It obviously works on men instead of women. It’s making you weird. You need to take it off.”

“No, no, please”, Shou said and he reached up instinctively, clawing his hand into the lapel of the suit coat as if he was scared Yutaka might try to tear it off. “This suit is not changing me. It’s just making me more confident. It’s … This is me. This is the version of me that’s in my head. It’s who I want to be. All the time. I don’t want to … I can’t let this end. I want to stay this version. I don’t want this party to end.” Vaguely he gestured back to the bar.

“So, you want to be someone, who promiscuously hits on all of his bandmates?” It had been meant as a joke, but it came out bitter. The way Shou had touched Kenji’s face made their kiss just now meaningless – regardless of whenever it was the suit or something Shou repressed violently.

“I want to be someone who is at terms with and open about his sexuality”, Shou blurted out.

Yutaka was pretty sure that the surprised was written all over his face. Before tonight, Shou had never indicated liking men at all.

“I want to be able to joke about it”, Shou said. “I don’t want to hide from the people closest to me. But most importantly, I want to show you how I feel. You’re the person I …”

He finally let go of his suit coat and his arm dropped down by his side as if he no longer had the energy to gesture at all.

“I wanted to try if the suit worked. I thought, if it does, I’d one day wear it to tell you. I wasn’t meaning to do it right away. Things got out of hand. I was scared of this night ending, because … I don’t know what will come afterwards.”

Yutaka licked his lips.

“So, you …?”, he started, but didn’t know how to finish the question.

“Yeah”, Shou confirmed. “I love you. And when I’m wearing this suit … when I’m wearing it, I’m cool and handsome. I’ll keep wearing it. And if you give me a chance, I think I can make you like me a little too. You allowed me to kiss you like this. You are at least somewhat attracted to me in this suit. I can be this version of myself for you. I’ll keep being it.”

Yutaka shook his head slightly.

“What are you going to do?” He wasn’t mocking Shou. He was sad, because Shou sounded so desperate. “Keep wearing the suit in your sleep?”

Shou shrugged and smiled helplessly.

“I hope they’ll design magic pyjamas soon”, he said.

Yutaka looked at Shou and all he saw was a handsome host. He had no idea where the despair in his voice was coming from. It was as if he couldn’t see below the pretty surface at all.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”, Shou plead. “I confessed to you. Don’t I deserve an answer?”

“Please, take off the suit”, Yutaka said. He suddenly felt exhausted. He was tired of dealing with this person in front of him. He just wanted to talk to his friend. “I want to give you a proper reply, but I can’t when you are wearing this suit.”

“It makes me better”, Shou insisted.

“This …” Yutaka gestured towards Shou and the green streaks in his hair. “I feel like I’m talking to a stranger. I need to make sure it’s really you.”

Shou looked at him for a long time and Yutaka was convinced he would decline. But then he nodded and slowly took off the suit coat.

He blinked and then Shou was already different.

He was back in his Tamiya shirt, his arms bare and pale and awkwardly holding on to the suit coat. His hair was blonde again and looked uncombed because he had run his hands through it early this evening. His face was flushed and bare and his eyes were tiny, but dark and so much warmer than when he was wearing coloured lenses. He kept his eyes cast down and yet Yutaka had the feeling he was seeing them for the first time tonight. He seemed small, hunched over once again and his head too large for his shoulders, making him look frail and in need of protection.

Yutaka felt a giant wave of affection rushing through him and he had to stop himself from wrapping his arms around Shou.

He had missed him. He had missed him so much more than he had ever expected. And he thought that this awkward little guy with the small eyes and the messy hair was the most beautiful version of a human being possible.

“Hey”, he said quietly.

Shou looked up briefly, but he didn’t manage to hold his gaze for too long, just as it had always been.

“Hey”, he replied.

“Do you …?” Yutaka broke off. For a moment, he considered that Shou might have forgotten about everything that had happened tonight. “Do you still feel the same? Without the suit?”

“Yeah”, Shou confirmed. “The same. Plus, an awful lot of regret for saying it out loud.”

Yutaka chuckled.

“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Shou looked down onto the suit coat in his hands. His hands still looked the same. “I behaved awful tonight. Sorry for putting you into a position like this. Let’s just forget I ever said anything. In fact, let’s just forget about this entire night.”

Worried lines were showing everywhere on Shou’s face. His face looked all weird and wrinkly. He looked like his old gloomy, over-thinking self again.

“I should probably burn this thing to make sure I never do anything this stupid again.”

“You probably should”, Yutaka agreed.

Shou had looked happier when wearing the suit, more relaxed. Yutaka wanted him to look this happy always, but he knew they’d have to find a different way for that.

“Sorry”, Shou mumbled again.

Yutaka paused for a moment.

“Though, if I’m honest, I’m going to miss you calling me your kitten”, he confessed jokingly.

Shou looked irritated. Yutaka let him suffer for just a few seconds more.

“I’m also going to miss you kissing me”, he added.

Shou looked up and sucked in his lower lip. His teeth were showing visibly. He looked by no means conventionally attractive and Yutaka loved him for that.

“Really?”, Shou asked insecurely.

“Really”, Yutaka assured him without hesitation.

Shou started smiling and it was the same smile as before. The warm one with the cute dimple, that made his lips look gorgeous and that was shy and hesitant, but finally happy without a trace of worry. And Yutaka thought, that they were going to get there and that they wouldn’t need a magic suit for it at all.

“We can always work on that”, Shou said. “Right, kitten?”

[brentwatchesmovies]

Brent’s Top 10 Movies of 2019

Scorsese is probably my favorite living filmmaker, but I’ll be honest, when I heard that Scorsese was making this movie, and *how* he was making it (heavily digital de-aged actors) I was a bit skeptical. De Niro and Pacino haven’t been turning in interesting performances in quite awhile, and Pesci came out of a decades-long retirement for the movie as well. On top of that, the first trailer released did little for me. All that to say I was an idiot to doubt the master.

Scorsese returns to the crime genre that he re-invented many times over the years, this time with the eyes of a man in his 70’s, looking back on his life and career. The movie is very long, but in my opinion, it needs the length. The viewer needs to *feel* the totality of a life, and as is his intent with The Irishman, the *consequences* of this specific life. The final hour or so of this movie feels like a culmination of Scorsese’s career in many ways. The energy and entertainment of a crime/mob epic, with the fatalism and philosophical leanings of a movie like ‘Silence’. It’s a 3.5 hour movie that I’ve already rewatched, and actively want to again, so that alone ought to speak volumes.

Harmony Korine made one of my favorite movies of the 2010’s, the neon-soaked and often misunderstood ‘Spring Breakers’, so I was already in the bag for whatever he did next. When I heard it was a freewheeling stoner comedy where Matthew Mcconaughey plays a guy named ‘Moondog’ costarring Snoop Dogg, I reserved its location on my top 10 list.

This movie doesn’t have the empty heart at its core that defines Spring Breakers, opting instead for a character study about a ‘Florida man’ poet after his life pretty much falls apart. It’s basically plotless, stumbling from one insane, borderline hallucinatory sequence to the next, but I just loved living in the world of this movie. Beach Bum almost feels like a deliriously fun VR simulation of hanging out with Matt McConaughey and his weirdo friends down in the Florida keys. This is one that probably won’t pop up on many top 10 lists but I really adore, and will surely rewatch it a dozen times in the years to come.

Let the record show, I’ve been a huge fan of Bong Joon-ho since I first saw his monster movie/family drama ‘The Host’. Some time later, he went on to make ‘Snowpiercer’, one of my favorite movies of the last decade. All that to say, I think Parasite is probably his best movie, and a true masterwork of thriller direction. It also has his usual brand of social commentary and a script filled with darkness and humor, following a South Korean tendency to juggle multiple tones throughout, sometimes all in one moment or scene.

Parasite also follows a big 2019 trend of commenting on class and social dynamics between the rich and the poor. I think that’s part of why it’s done incredibly well at the box office (especially for a Korean language film), the fact that people can relate in a huge way, regardless of which country your from. Parasite is one of the most entertaining movie viewing experiences I’ve had this year and I’d recommend everyone check it out.

If you were to ask me what the funnest movie-going experience I had in 2019 was, I’d have to pick Rian Johnson’s ‘Knives Out’. Hot off making one of the best Star Wars movies ever made (don’t @ me) Johnson decided to make a passion project in the vein of classic Agatha Christie style murder mysteries, and the results are a total blast. Filled with clever twists and turns, weaponizing the structure of murder-mysteries against the audiences expectations, it stays one step ahead of you the entire time.

Aside from the clever mystery of it all, it’s the actors performances and chemistry that really sell this thing. Jamie Lee Curtis and Toni Collette are expectedly great per usual, and Daniel Craig is having the time of his life as Mississippi private-eye Benoit Blanc, but the heart of the movie is relative newcomer Ana de Armas. She brings an emotional weight and anchor to the movie that always keeps you emotionally invested amidst the terrible, money hungry backstabbing by the other heightened characters. I hope everyone sees this movie and Johnson is able to give us another Benoit Blanc adventure somewhere down the line, I’ll be there opening day.

Nobody makes an upbeat, feel-good movie like Ari Aster does! After last years light and breezy ‘Hereditary’ (which I liked a lot but didn’t totally love) he’s back with a completely riveting and emotionally draining (not to mention horrific) masterpiece. What I connected to most in Midsommar is the journey of Dani, played incredibly by Florence Pugh. The way the film portrays the relationship between her and her dog shit boyfriend played by the (usually) charming Jack Reynor keeps you invested in every twist, perfectly paced out over the movies admittedly long runtime.

I won’t get into spoiler territory, but where this movie goes in the end is what makes this a fully 5-star movie for me. After putting you through hell, like Aster loves to do with bells on, Midsommar ends in a euphoric, psychedelic orgy of music and violence that I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Midsommar rules so hard and I can’t wait for whatever twisted thing Aster cooks up next.

One of my increasingly favorite brands of movies is a finely crafted, primo slice of dad-movie cinema, and James Mangold has made one with Ford v Ferrari. The story chronicles the partnership of ex-racer and designer Carroll Shelby and racer Ken Miles as they work to make a Ford that can compete in the 24 hour race of Le Mans. Bale and Damon are a blast to watch bounce off each other and the race sequences are pretty damn thrilling, combining (what I expect is) a solid amount of great VFX with practical racing to great effect.

I also didn’t expect it to have as much to say about the struggle to create something special by passionate people and not committees while also inside the very machine that churns out products on an assembly line. Just a random note, this original movie was just put out by 20th Century Fox, now owned by Disney but that’s completely unrelated and I’m not sure why I’d even bring that up??? Anyway, I love this movie and dads, moms and everybody else should check it out.

If you saw my list last year, then it must appear like I’m some diehard Mr. Rogers fan. I don’t really have many memories watching his show as a child, but what the documentary ‘Won’t You be my Neighbor’ and this film by Marielle Heller have in common is a shared fascination of his immense empathy and character. It’s only right that America’s dad Tom Hanks should play him, and I was surprised at the end that I was able to get over his stardom and accept him as Rogers. He’s not doing a direct impersonation, and I think it’s all the better for it, instead opting for matching his soft tone and laid back movements.

On a pure emotional level, this movie was a freight train. It didn’t help that the movie covers a lot of father stuff, from losing your own to becoming one yourself (2 big boxes on the Brent bingo card). Heller’s direction is clever in its weaponizing of meta/post-modern techniques, such as one incredible fourth wall break in a diner scene. It literally breaks down the barrier between Mr. Rogers, we the audience, and the films intent to make us feel something.

I cry a lot at movies, that much is well known, but it’s rare that a movie makes me weep, and this one did. Even thinking about scenes right now, days later, my eyes are welling up with tears thinking about the messages of the movie. Mr. Rogers and his lessons of empathy and emotional understanding have rarely been as vital and important as they are right now in our world.

Robert Eggers first film ‘The Witch’ from 2015 is one of my favorite movies of this decade, possibly of all time, so my hype for his black and white, period piece two-hander ‘The Lighthouse’ was through the roof. Even with sky-high expectations, it still blew me away. With dialogue reminiscent of The Witch in its specific authenticity to its era, to the two lead actors giving all-time great performances, It was one of the most entertaining film viewing experiences I had this year.

There’s something about both of Egger’s movies that I really keyed into watching this one: his fascination with shame and the liberation from it. Where Witch was from the female perspective, Lighthouse literally has two farting, drunk men in a giant phallic symbol fighting for dominance. It’s less a horror film than his first, but still utterly engrossing, demented and specific to his singular vision. I can’t wait to see 20 more movies from this guy.

This is another big movie of 2019, like The Irishman, where you can see the director looking inward, at what his films mean and represent. It initially caught me so off guard that I really didn’t know how to feel about it, but after seeing it again, it’s one of my favorites of the year, and probably Tarantino’s filmography overall. More akin to something like Boogie Nights or Dazed and Confused, letting us live with and follow a small group of characters, it mostly doesn’t feel like a Tarantino movie (until the inevitable and shocking explosion of violence in the third act, of course).

‘Hollywood’ is the most sincere and loving movie Tarantino has made, interested in giving us a send off to an era of Hollywood and artists that have been lost or forgotten (Some more tragically than others). In the end, the movie functions similarly to ‘Inglorious Basterds’ in it’s rewriting of history to give us catharsis. “If only things could have worked out this way.” Luckily in movies, removed from the restrictions of reality, they can. And once upon a time in Hollywood, they did.

Uncut Gems probably tripled my blood pressure by the time the credits rolled. A slice-of-life story about a gambler/dealer in New York’s diamond district, the movie follows Howard Ratner, played by Adam Sandler in easily the best performance of his career. Ratner is basically addicted to living at the edge of a cliff, being chased by violent debt collectors, juggling a home life and a relationship with an employee, and fully relying on risky sports bets to stay afloat. It makes for a consistently tense and unique viewing experience, expertly directed by the Safdie brothers.

Something that might not work for everyone but that I personally loved, is the chaotic way in which the movie is shot. What feels like loosely directed scenes, with characters talking over each other and multiple conversations happening at once, adds an authenticity and reality lacking from most other movies. It’s more adjacent to Linklater (thanks to Adam for the comparison) or Scorsese’s earlier films (also fitting, that he’s a producer on this). Following Howard Ratner as his life descends into chaotic hell was one of the best times I’ve had watching a movie this year.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

AVENGERS ENDGAME

DOLEMITE IS MY NAME

BOOKSMART

JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3

THE FAREWELL

AD ASTRA

[ruxbold]

Hawks x f! Reader

child wish

There may be many grammar mistakes because English is not my native language and I apologize for that. If you have any suggestions for improving then let me know:)

word count: 3828

contains: NSFW, breeding kink (kinda)

It was a hard life working as a pro hero. Especially when you’re the number 2 hero in Japan. Keigo, known as Hawks, always had a handful of work, so it was almost impossible to think about other things like having a peaceful life, not having the attention of the media on him, going shopping like a normal person or dating a girl. The last one was definitely out of reach when you have to save lifes every day and barely would have time for taking care of a relationship. So Keigo accepted this disadvantage of being a hero. In the end it would only hurt his partner and eventually cause her to leave him voluntarily.

That’s what he thought until he met you. Kind, cute, funny, laughs about his jokes and is understanding of his work. You don’t complain about him comming back home so late at night or when he suddenly needs to go because something urgent happened. After all you were aware of all that when you two started dating. You were just perfect. Though, Keigo still felt bad about all those lonely nights you spent without him or when you don’t even realize when he comes back because you’re already asleep. For the first time in his life he felt scared of losing someone. He was so in love with you that he couldn’t think about living without you. So one day he proposed to you and fortunately, you said yes. Even though it was a dangerous decision, Keigo just couln’t let go of the thought of you being by his side forever. He swore he would protect you no matter what.

And so the days of you as a married couple passed by. You two were so happy and deeply in love. After 2 years Keigo wanted to have something that was the symbol of your love and would bound you two together even more. He wanted a child. A litte mix of him and you running through your house, laughing and you doing family stuff together. This thought made his heart beat faster and he couldn’t wait any longer to finally ask you. But it had to be special, of course. So he had already prepared something for this.

“Can you just tell me where exactly we are going?” you asked impatiently. You two were sitting in the car and Keigo was driving through the city to go to a particular place.

“We’re almost there, lovebird.” He said smiling. Of course it would have been faster, if he just flew with you in his arms to the destination, but that would have caught too many eyes and right now he didn’t want any paparazzis sticking to his ass and ruining his plans with you.

Your curiosity only increased, as you left the city behind and stopped in front of a forest. Keigo knew that you loved nature and hiking. When he has free time, you always ask him to go for a walk at the mountains or in the forest. He found your expression of fascination, when you admire the beauty of nature, really cute.

Keigo grabbed a basket, which was packed with small snacks, out of the trunk. With your hand in his he led you through the forest. It was a little bit dark because a few clouds were covering the sun, but you still were amazed of the sight of the green which surrounded you. Luckily, you didn’t cross ways with any citizens, who would only take away his precious time with you.

“We’re almost there.” Keigo said in a singing voice. You giggled and were really excited about the surprise, which he had prepared for you. When you finally arrived, it was like you were sent back to time when you had your first date.

You were surrounded by large trees and different kind of flowers decorated the grass underneath you and you could hear the sounds of flowing water, which belonged to the creek nearby. A yellow checkered picnic blanket was spread out on the ground with red rose petals on it. It wasn’t much but it was exactly like when he had took you out for the first time.

“It’s wonderful.” You said while turning around to face your husband, who stood there with the basket in the one hand and a wine bottle in the other.

“Let’s enjoy our time, shall we?” He shook the bottle in his hands and gave you a charming smile, which you always loved to see on his face. Keigo was indeed an attractive man. And additionally with his position as the number 2 hero, he was popular especially among females.

You two sat down and he took out snacks like sandwiches topped with your favourite things, of course chicken wings and much more and two wine glasses. After he filled your glasses with the red liquid, you clinked them together and began to enjoy your time. Keigo even left his phone at home so that nobody could interrupt this moment with his beloved wife. Maybe his sidekicks will complain about him that they couldn´t contact him but right now he didn’t care. You were just sitting there and talked about different kind of things or he tells you some jokes, which make you laugh.

Actually, he wasn’t that kind of person, rather more like a spontaneous guy but since he met you he wanted everything to be perfect. Even though he sometimes thinks that he didn’t deserve you, Keigo still couldn’t stand the thought of you being together with somebody else, who would have more time for you.

As time went by, your bellies were already full of snacks and wine. Your head leant against his chest and he had his arm wrapped around your waist. It was finally time to tell you his dearest wish.

“So you know, I’ve been thinking a lot about this and-” His speech got interrupted by a loud thunder and after that a lightning lit up the forest. You startled and removed yourself from the warmth of his body. A few drops fell down from above and landed on your face.

‘God damn, why now?’ Keigo thought in annoyance.

“Oh no! Let’s go to the car!” you said panicked. Keigo helped you to pack all the things back into the basket and folded the blanket together. You two ran through the forest and by now it was already raining heavily.

When you arrived at the car and got in, you were already wet, your clothes soaked from the rain. Keigo swore inside his mind, insulting himself for not including the weather when he was planning this. Another thunder was heard followed by a bright lightning.

“That was unexpected.” You said breaking the silence. “Maybe we should head home now.”

Keigo looked beside him at the passanger seat where you sat and an immediate blush showed across his face. Your white dress, in which you always looked so pure, was soaking wet, letting him see your lightblue bra underneath the fabric. You had drops of water on you, running down your delicate skin. Strands of hair were sticking to your face. The sight of your whole body drenched from the rain, made his pants got tighter around his crotch. Keigo gulped down the lump inside his throat. He was thankful for the rain to give him such a sight, even though it ruined his plans.

“(V/N).” He finally began to speak. You looked at him and also got flushed from his appearance. It was a delicious sight of him, all wet from head to toe. You could clearly see the traces of his abs through his wet shirt and the drops of water in his hair made him look more handsome than he already was. You could feel the arousal rising in between your thighs.

“There is something I wanted to tell you.” Keigo breathed in the air, which smelled like freshly fallen rain. And again a lightning with a thunder appeared and lit up the inside of the car. “I…want a child.”

Silence fell again. The only sounds you could hear was the heavy rain falling and the thunder which was miles away from you. You widened your eyes and your entiry face turned red this time. Keigo was smiling with a tint of flush on his nose and cheeks, his eyes looking at you in a soft way. He finally said it.

A number of emotions built up inside you and you whole face lit up. You almost bursted out of joy, but wanted to cry at the same time.

“Me too!” You answered and left your seat to give him a tight hug. “I’d love to have a little family!”

He shivered as your cold body and his were pressed together, your soaked clothes sticking to his. With his hands he cupped your face and looked you in the eyes. You were so beautiful. The lightning lit up the car again and his handsome feature was illuminated by the light. Golden eyes shining down on you like a hawk spotting its prey on earth. Seeing him like this so close made your arousal only worse.

His head moved forward as your staring competition continued. And then after his hot breath hit your face, he placed his lips on yours. It was so gentle and so magical. You put your hands on his chests and melted into the kiss, your lips moving in synchro with each other. Butterflies were flying inside your belly and the sounds from outside were deaf to your ears. After a long time you two parted away and looked deep into each others eyes. Both of you knew that it wasn’t enough and you wanted more. Keigo’s thumb traced your bottom lip and pulled it a little down, so that your mouth was slightly open for him to put his tongue inside you. His hot muscle explored the inside and twirled it around yours. Your hands moved to his hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss. Sloppy sounds of your heated make out could be heard. Your saliva mixed together and ran down your chin. Keigo’s hand moved to your seat and pulled on a lever which made the backrest fall back on its own.

He climbed over to your side, not breaking the heated kiss and lay your body down with him hovering above you. As you felt that you were running out of oxygen, you finally parted away, a string of saliva still connecting you for a short time before it broke.

“Are we…seriously going to do it…here.” You tried to say while still breathing heavily.

“I can’t wait til we get home.” Keigo said, opening the three buttons on your wet dress to get access to your breasts. “And the idea of sex in a car is kinda hot.”

You blushed at his statement but also couldn’t deny it. On top of that, you both were horny as fuck. As soon as Keigo opened the last button, your breasts sprang out of your dress, as the pressure of the tight fabric against your chest was gone. He attacked your neck, leaving purple marks on your skin while he shoved your lightblue bra with a little bow in the middle up, your tits bouncing out of the cups. With his hands he began to massage them carefully, but his grib got rough as he wanted to hear more of your cute moans. Your boobs were always so soft and elastic, it reminded him of the japanese candy Mocchi. Keigo put your pink nipples between his fingers, squeezing and pulling on them. His mouth left your neck and wandered down, kissing in between your breasts.

He buried his face in between them, pressing your boobs against his cheeks and breathed in your unique scent, which made you gasp of the strange feeling. It’s something that Keigo always likes to do because he claims that this place is the only part of your body where he could smell your scent clearly. And he was obsessed with it. Your smell can’t be described perfectly, but if he had to, he would say that it smells like lavender with a little touch of vanilla and freshly peeled oranges. It may sound like a strange combintaion and you looked at him questioningly when he described it to you once, but for him it was the only way to define it.

“Keigo…” He looked up to your flushed face and almost forgot how long he was sandwiched in between your breasts, as he was lost in enjoying your smell.

“Sorry, I didn’t notice.” A chuckle escaped his mouth. He removed his face and kissed your lips once again for a short time. “Now, should we begin with the main course.”

A smirk appeared on his face again and you could only nod. His hands travelled down to your legs, stroking your wet and cold skin. His heat spread over to your body and it was already enough to warm you up. After he pinched your flesh a few times, his hands went under your dress up to your panties. Your breathing stocked in anticipation, as he grabbed it on each side and pulled it painfully slow down. His fingers tenderly brushed against your skin which gave you goosebumps. After it was finally removed from your legs and thrown back to the back seats, Keigo held up one leg and kissed your inner thigh, while starring at you in a seductive way that made your heart skip a beat. Then he took off his jacket and his soaked white shirt.

Saliva gathered inside your mouth, as you had a full view of his upper body now. No matter how often you saw him shirtless, it always was a heavenly view and whenever he walked around the house with no shirt on you just want to throw yourself at him and want him to fuck you on the ground. Keigo’s smirk got wider, as he noticed your staring. He knew what you had inside your mind. Everybody thinks that you were an innocent and sweet girl but only Keigo knew that naughty side of you when you’re begging him for more while he’s shoving his cock inside your pussy. You weren’t the pure woman that everyone thought you would be.

“I help you with that.” He pulled on your dress and you held your arms up so that he could pull the fabric over your head. The dress and your bra also joined your underwear and his shirt at the back seats, where Keigo threw all the unnecessary clothes away.

The cold air, which hit your skins, was bearly noticeable, as the heat inside your bodies only grew by the minute. You two definitely were going to be sick the next day but this though didn’t even cross your minds, as the fog of lust took over your thinkings. Keigo couldn’t wait any longer so he unbuckled his belt of his pants while sucking in the sight of your naked body with your flushed face underneath him. As soon as he slid down the unwantig cloth with his shorts he positioned his stiff member in front of your entrance, sliding the tip up and down your slit. It was already wet enough for him to slide it inside you in one go. You put your arms around his neck, starring into each others eyes.

“Keigo, please.” You begged and every time his name slipped pass your lips he could go crazy.

He placed his lips on yours and immediately shoved his tongue inside your mouth again. Meanwhile he slipped his head of his cock, that already had a pearl of precum on the tip, inside your dripping pussy. You moaned into his mouth, feeling his thick member stretching your walls, as he moved further forward. It took him a while to slide his whole length inside because he wanted to feel every part of your pussy, from the outside til the back. It felt like his cock melted, as he left the cold air and entered your heat. Keigo grunted, loving the feeling of how you remembered the shape of his dick and squeezed around it perfectly.

He didn’t waist more time and began to move with slowly but deep thrusts so that he were able to reach every part of your inside. Loud moans drowned the sounds of the pouring rain outside, the thunder and lightning had already stopped but neither of you noticed that small detail. Your hot and heavy breathing got visible through the cold air. Keigo grabbed you thighs, putting them on each side of his hips, and squeezing your tender flesh. But as much as he liked to see your whole body with your bouncing breasts that matched his rhythm of his thrusts, he liked it even more to feel it rubbing against his own skin, so his hands moved from your legs behind to your back and lifted your upper body so that you were pressed against his, leaving no space between you.

He attacked your neck, giving you more marks that will last for at least one week. A smile formed on his lips, as he remembered how you always complain about it that his hickeys last so long and that you always have to hide them somehow. But right now it seemed like you didn’t care, screaming his name while asking for more. With your arms around his neck, and your legs around his waist, you were clinging to him like a baby koala to its mother.

“Need…more…faster, fuck, please faster.” You begged, biting his neck and also leaving a mark on his skin.

First, Keigo didn’t respond to your request and continued his slow pace but eventually he also got tired of it. He sped up his thusts little by little, til he was pounding inide you with an incredible force. You body was laid down again with your legs against your chest so that he was able to move faster with more intensive thrusts. Your moans got louder, as he showed you heaven on earth and also more sounds were heard from the bird man. He wanted to spread his wings of peasure but as there wasn’t enough space they hit the ceiling of the car.

“Ahhhh, s-so deep!” You held the armrest as tight as you could, whereby your knuckles got white from the pressure of your grip.

“Damn, car sex really is…the fucking good.” Keigo grunted through gritted teeth while pounding inside you like there’s no tomorrow. “Just imagine…someone finds us fucking in a car like animals, ahh shit, and making a baby.”

You walls clenched harder around his girth, as the image crossed your mind. Keigo smirked, feeling your stingy pussy sucking him in even more. “Oh, you like the idea?”

Suddenly he stopped which made you whimper from the lack of pleasure and grabbed you by the shoulders, shoving your face against the car window of the passanger seat.

“Wait, what are you-” You moaned as he picked up his pace again, fucking you from behind while his chest was pressed against your back. The window cooled down your warm face, and you were able to see the grey landscape with the rain drops flowing down the glass.

“Fuck, maybe if you’re lucky, somebody crosses by and sees how well I pleasure my wife.” Keigo grunted in your ear, holding your chin with two fingers.

He knew that nobody would go out in this weather but he smirked as your walls clenched around him, as you thought about it. The glass got fogged up from your hot panting, your sweat and drool were sticking onto the window. Suddenly a loud moan escaped your lips as Keigo hit your sweet spot. With the tip of his cock he penetrated that special place, giving you the ecstasy that let you scream out his name. You thought he couldn’t go any faster but oh were you wrong. After all he isn’t called the fastest man in Japan for nothing. Your pussy tightened after every intensive thrust which was enough to sent Keigo over the edge.

“Shit, you’re sucking me in way too much.” His hands wandered down to play with your clit, helping you to get to your orgasm too.

“Ahh, Keigo, give me all your semen!” You interwined your hand with his, looking over your shoulder to show him your face which was all messed up thanks to him.

“Fuck, take my sperm and bear my child, baby.” With his last powerful thrusts he spurted his hot cum inside, fucking it deeper into you. The feeling of him filling you up with his thick fluids gave you the rest and you felt the familiar knot inside your stomach. You moaned loudly, as finally your orgasm arrived. Keigo’s finger pressed your lips of your pussy around his cock so that his precious semen stayed inside you and nothing would go down your legs and get wasted. He stayed like this for minutes to make sure that every single drop reached the back of your womb.

“Just imagine…telling your child…that he was made in a car…” You joked around, still trying to catch your breath while you came down from your orgasm.

“I can’t wait for you to get pregnant.” Keigo chuckled and gave you a kiss on the cheek. “With a round belly, tits full of milk and I’ve heard that sex with pregnant woman is the best.”

“You wish, when it’s time I won’t let you touch me.” You giggled, leaning your body against his, concentrating on his touch as he explored your sweaty body with his hands.

You moved forward, trying to slide his dick out of your pussy but as soon as you moved, Keigo pressed you down on the passanger seat and starred at you with hungry eyes. Suddenly you could feel his cock twitching inside you and it still was hard as a rock. Your (E/C) eyes widened as you realized what’s going to come next.

“Do you really think we’re already done yet?” Keigo smirked, his golden pupils glowing. “I will only stop when the rain is over or when I’m sure that I’ve bred your thoroughly. We’re gonna make lot of little chicks.”

And there you two went for the next round. And then again. And again. Let’s just say the rain didn’t stop til the next day and you spent the night in the car. Keigo didn’t even stop penetrating your hole when there was a bulge on your belly visible which was caused by the multiple times he filled you with his cum. After that you had to buy a new car because the stains of your love juices won’t go out of the seats and the smell of sex lingered inside and won’t go away no matter how many times you cleaned it.

[behld]

tags 01.

[pendulum-sonata]

Chapters: 4/7 Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Serena/Yuri (Yu-Gi-Oh) Characters: Serena (Yu-Gi-Oh), Yuri (Yu-Gi-Oh) Additional Tags: Drama & Romance, Forbidden Love, Tanabata, One Shot, Alternate Universe - Mythology, Predatorshipping Week 2019, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Belligerent Sexual Tension, First Meetings, Predator/Prey, Fairy Tale Elements, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Marriage Proposal, Language of Flowers Summary:

“Father.” She said as she curtsied to him. “Why have you called me?”

Zarc looked at his daughter dressed in finery from head to toe – literally, since the heavy dress layers covered her feet – and almost wanted to shake his head in disapproval, but such behavior was not proper of an Emperor, at least not in the middle of his court.

It was also the only reason Serena allowed herself to be adorned to such excess, as if she was a doll.

She needed to play the part if the prim and perfect princess.

“It has come to my attention that you have yet to pick a suitor, despite the fact that you have since come of age.” The words tasted bitter in his mouth, yet, the sharp shine of betrayal in her eyes felt a thousand times worse.

Snickers were heard all over the room; delighting on the princess’ forced to behave as such; if it was up to Zarc he would behead all of them, but such thoughts came to a halt when she used her fan to hide her smirk.

“I have given deep thought to all of them, a suitor, must be suitable for me the First and Only Princess of this Empire, and I have found every single one of them lacking.” No one dared to contradict his and Ray’s daughter, no matter how much they wanted to and Zarc allowed himself to laugh.

“You are most right!” He continued to laugh for a couple of seconds before calming down. “As Emperor I would never deliver the hand of my only daughter, the jewel of the palace, to just anyone! Does anyone here disagree?”

Of course they did, but they couldn’t say anything out loud; if he concentrated, he might be able to hear them grinding their teeth.

“If his majesty agrees, then it only makes sense that I, as princess under your heavenly guidance, must be allowed to set the requirements for the perfect suitor.”

“Ah, I see, after all the one who marries my daughter will become my heir…” If it was up to him, Serena would be proclaimed the Crown Princess, but there was only so much both of them could push the court before they started to scheme. “…I can’t possibly take such matters lightly, and I cannot trust a better judgement than yours.”

Serena was quiet for several minutes, making the trepidation in the room to raise to almost tangible levels; If Zarc knew her, she had already come up with an idea and was only enjoying the control over the court she had at the moment, however limited.

“I will only marry the one who will bring me a blue rose.”

A pin could have dropped in the courtroom and made and echo, due to the aghast her answer provoked; some of their faces had even turned the same shade of blue the flower would be.

Blue roses, were taught by many to be a legend, very few had ever heard of it, even fewer heard the rumors of its existence, and even less knew of the remote place where the sky and earth met and a lake where all rivers were born.

Only its waters could nurture the mythical rose.

“Perfect, if they wish for your hand in marriage and my throne so badly, then, such request should laughable, let this decree be known across the empire!”

ᵜ

“It has been a very quiet week.” Her father said in her tea parlor; even though he left his cup untouched, instead he chowed down all the candies and tiny cakes.

“You sound almost bored.” She said as she moved her pieces in the board.

“Are you kidding me?” He said, flashing the brightest smile. “Finally some peace and quiet! I didn’t even remember how nice the palace was without those leeches abusing my hospitality and pushing me to force you into marriage; then they dared to suggest that if I didn’t want a new empress, then I could at least choose a concubine…. I was this close to execute them.” His fingers dug into the board while saying this.

There were very little things that would make her father truly furious, and suggesting he replace her mother or herself was the top one.

“As annoying as they are, their influence and money is very much needed,” Serena chewed on her rice cake a little too hard.

“Were you serious then?” He asked, looking at her for any shred of mischief. “What if one of them really does bring a blue rose?”

“Then I will make good of my promise.” Serena was sure everyone at the court thought her to be a spoiled and foolish princess for asking a pretty flower as a token of marriage; the rest surely thought that she was once more dodging her duties by setting an impossible task.

But if a man managed to be smart enough, resourceful and determined to fulfil her task, then there shouldn’t be a more appropriate person for the throne.

“Aw, and here you have me thinking that you chased them all off because you missed your old dad and wanted to be my little girl a bit longer.” How did he manage to go from a fearless ruler to pout like a child was beyond her.

Why had her mother chosen such a man anyway?

“Please, if I do not desire to share my life with young men, what makes you think I want the company of an older man?” She drank her tea when she finished saying this, just in time to see his expression going from pouting to crestfallen.

“Meanie.” He mumbled.

Serena allowed herself to smile behind her sleeve; her father was really such a foolish man.

ᵜ

The first one was a very known and very rich son of a nobleman who always stared greedily at the jewels and gold in the throne whenever he set foot in it.

The rose was pretty, but nothing much could be said about it; granted, Serena had nothing beyond aesthetic appreciation for flowers, but she was sure a blue rose must be magnificent or at least wondrous to look at.

She took the flower in her fingers, the stem was smooth, no tiny hairs or thorns.

Too pretty… She walked to where her servants had already deposited a vase of water for her flower.

To everyone horror, Serena turned the rose upside down and submerged it in the water, slowly, the water started to tint a pale color blue whereas the petals turned white again.

“Do you really think I will marry a man who uses deceit and bribery to achieve their means?”

.

.

.

The second one was a warrior, he had not been present for Serena’s decree, but having heard of it, he had led campaigns to find the blue rose, ransacking town after town, and interrogating people left and right.

The rose presented was not a flower at all, its likeness to an actual rose was uncanny though, but it was hard and frozen to the touch she noticed that it was carved from a sapphire, its rightful owner was probably dead.

Serena didn’t even dare to touch it, and turned her eyes away from the man.

“… This is not a blue rose, a man who delivers such a lavish token must be as cold and unfeeling as the stone it was made from.”

.

.

.

Surely the Princess must accept this blue rose.

It’s what they are all probably thinking as this third suitor – the son of a scholar – presented a glass box in which the most magnificent blue rose resided, the man was accompanied by an old man, which robes she recognized as being a medicine man; in a quiet voice he explained that such a rare flower must be encased for it’s very fragile outside its native environment.

How convenient it was that the glass was sealed, making it impossible to confirm his claim.

That was when a sunray shone in the middle of the throne room and Serena noticed that neither the box or the rose casted a shadow.

Serena took the box as if it was the most delicate of treasures.

And smashed it against the floor, tiny pieces of crystal spilled to her feet, but no blue rose was anywhere to be seen.

“You dare using an illusion to achieve your goal? A man who twists the lies into truths will never marry me.”

ᵜ

At night, Serena had slipped unnoticed from her room, wearing one of her servant’s dresses as to not call attention. She could not sleep, and the only thing that calmed her down, was watching the quiet waters of the pond and feeding the fishes.

“Maybe it really is an impossible task…” She whispered to no one.

In the still water, the full moon was reflected like an enormous ray of light… sometimes she liked to think that her mother was watching her from the moon, along with the rabbits and the moon goddess.

A strange fish that she had never seen disrupted the reflection and her thoughts; she threw food into the air and the fish jumped to catch it… as it turned out it was not a fish at all, but a sort of water snake, its color was a rare combination of golden and purple scales.

Odd, she would have to talk to the servants in the morning and see if they could catch it.

ᵜ

The fourth man was causing lots of whispers in the court.

He arrived covered almost completely in a cape that hid his features from anyone; the only reason the guards allowed him in, was because he assured them he came to claim the hand of the princess in marriage, that he had the blue rose in his possession.

When requested to prove his words, he claimed that the rose was for the princess eyes only and no one else. They all laughed, the captain probably thought it would be funny to watch this commoner make a fool of himself in front of the imperial family.

He didn’t acknowledge any of them as he passed through the gates.

This suitor had no lavish clothes, no entourage behind him, speaking of great possessions and power.

Before even seeing him, Serena feels her chest tighten in trepidation, something that she had not felt for any other suitor.

Why? Was it the unexpectedness? The whispers of the palace? The supposed low station of his person?

When her father took his seat, then she stepped up and waited for him.

His steps echoed loudly into the room, he was still clad into that cape, it didn’t look tattered or dirty, but it was nothing special either, the fabric was a dark color and it looked comfortable enough to walk around and warm for the cold of the night.

No one dared to speak as he knelt, first to the Emperor and then to the Princess and then he removed his hood.

A head full of purple hair met her eye, his head was still lowered and hiding his face but by the silky and healthy looking hair, she could deduce he was a young man.

“Greetings, your majesty, I have come to fulfil your request.” His voice sounded young too.

“Raise your head and state your name and precedence.” She ordered, feeling her palms sweat, unlike her other suitors, he exuded an air of confidence on meeting her requirement, but not of arrogance as if he was planning to deceive her like all the others.

“In my home, I’m called Yuri, I reside on the place where all the rivers are born.”

Serena said nor asked anything else, not even as the disbelieving looks of the court pressured her to question him further, she waited, signaling that it was time to prove his claim.

He rose to his feet and she could finally see him, his face and she was instantly drawn to his eyes, an even more vibrant shade of purple than his hair. The most entrancing part of his expression was his smile, as if he was private to a secret no one else shared.

From somewhere under his garments his hand fumbled and slowly, almost too slow, produced a blue rose.

Serena used her fan to hide her agape mouth; not because the rose was beyond perfect or magnificent like stories said they would be, she did what she had not done with any of the previous suitor and went down the steps that separate her from him, when she took the rose in her hand, even though she was careful not to not brush her hand against his in the slightest, she still felt a shiver due to their proximity.

The stem was rough to the touch, and if she could see a tiny spot of blood where one of its thorns had pierced her skin, the shade of blue of the petals mirrored that of her own hair and it spread evenly from the tip to the base in the calix of the flower.

She could hear everyone’s gasps when she lowered her fan, allowing the stranger to see her face up close, and when she brought the rose against her nose, she was assaulted by the memories of red hair, flowing in the wind as they led her through the halls of the palace, of the scent of jasmine of her clothes, and the feeling of joy and safety the smile of her mother brought to her.

This close she realized… his eyes, they were looking at her, the same way her father always used to look at her mother.

“This is a blue rose.”

ᵜ

When Serena could finally breath again, it was not a pleasant experience; she coughed the water she had swallowed before and her mouth tasted awful.

Her dress was drenched in water and it was now too heavy for her to even try to stand up.

Her father was screaming frantically for the servants to bring her dry clothes and for the doctor to check up on her.

Apparently she had made quite a ruckus when she slipped and feel into the pond, which wouldn’t be too bad if it wasn’t for the heavy clothes, becoming heavier under the water and the recently grown roots of the lotus flowers twisting around her body.

It was nothing short of a miracle that she was alive.

Before losing consciousness, Serena watched a kid on the bank of the pond, his eyes look too shiny in the middle of the night, his teeth look slightly sharp, and on the sides of his face his skin stops looking soft and turns into purple scales.

The same shade as his hair.

He waves goodbye before jumping back into the water.

[babblingbat]

Various Characters I meant to post Months ago

Various Characters of mine

I have so many I want to write (some) of them down! This is a suuuuuper long post so more under the cut! Includes a spy, a crime lord/activist, and a bargaining warlock (I have to reblog this later bc tumblr threw a hissy fit about the length)

X

- Kinda in a Bond-esque spy agency, but more of a contractor

- When everything goes to shit, you can count on them to fix it

- Nonbinary protege of whoever is in charge of the tech division (Mezza? Sloane? Dixon? idk, but they have a hell of a shady past and there’s like… noooothing that can keep Sloane out of computer systems)

- X isn’t formally recognized by APO (authorized personnel only, the spy agency) but they do have access to all information because of a backdoor Sloane made

- So I guess the name is Sloane

- Anyways, X goes on the black ops of black ops, typically with either mercenaries or no back-up at all

- Thus trust issues and like the opposite of dependency - they have so much trouble asking for things but are willing to help anyone or offer material assistance - if they have it

- X is nonbinary and really doesn’t have any preferences on pronouns, as long as they aren’t he/him or she/her

- They’re also autistic and shut down if there’s too much loud noise or if they’re just too tired for some reason - sometimes this means going nonverbal or just Not Functioning and their favorite way to feel better is to sit on the ground, wrap themselves in a blanket and listen to music - so in conclusion they don’t really use guns unless there’s a silencer, and they aren’t v good with them

- A huge part of their espionage function is language!

- They speak German, Spanish, Japanese, FSL, and ASL all idiomatically

- They also speak Russian, French, and Afrikaans, but not fluently

- They can swear and count to ten in Korean and Czech

- They’re pursuing a PhD in computational linguistics, though APO gets in the way

- They’re 24, and have a bizarre set of skills because both of their job, previous jobs and jobs they hold as a cover to pretend they pay their taxes, and special interests

- Sloane is only 7 years older than them, and recruited X out of high school

- At first it was small things, like ‘pick up this book from Elm Street and drop it at Main’ but it got bigger after they graduated

- When X turned 18, they went through formal training - protocol, combat, and analysis

- They’d done some martial arts before hand, but not much punching, mostly kicking, throws, and staffs (5 and 6 feet)

- X’s main job is to clean up messy situations, usually by stealing things or extractions, and their own ops are less combat oriented than the clean ones

- X is not the best at math, not by a long shot, but they can see patterns from a mile away

- “I am the fact guardian, guardian of the facts!” “Puzzles quiver before them!” “FUCK OFF”

- They do simple division when bored and solve a lot of math things by finding patterns and using them

- X is both their designation in the agency (as in ‘x factor’) and their actual name- they use an alias for college

- They live with a few people, most of whom complain at their erratic sleep schedule and ask that please, for the love of god, X gets sleep meds and just a solid 8 hours, for once

- Sloane eventually sends X on an op to extract Mel, Sloane’s girlfriend and top operative

- X doesn’t know what to tell Mel, so mostly they just tell them that things will be answered later

- Mel asks Sloane, who reluctantly explains X’s role, and this sets some things into motion of X eventually being brought into the spotlight

- They have several hearings about their activities

- Eventually, Seville (who runs things? I guess) tells them to carry on as they do, reporting directly to Sloane, but they are recognized now by the APO

- There are three other things I want to fit in:

- Goes missing for [period of time], leaving a very close friend behind, comes back after being presumed dead and no memories, apparently solved a conspiracy and now has many illegal friends who all enjoy thievery

- Magic is a thing (because it wouldn’t be my words if it wasn’t lmao) and common enough that people know it exists but rare enough that it’s kinda intimidating and sometimes people will freak out about it, despite plenty of people having it.

X has/develops magic at some point but is terrified to tell anyone and tries to hide it from their team (which is now their family, love that trope) because they don’t want to be barred from the APO, but it comes out accidentally during a mission

- X’s infodumping saves the day somehow

The Celestian

- K so this is more about an organization, but the Celestian lives in a like a 1920s fantasy setting and likes dancing

- They run a social activism group masquerading as a crime network that uses queer bars and stuff as fronts

- To get money, they dance competitively with their bodyguard and d8m8, the BFF (butch femme fatale) who identifies as a nb lesbian

- To get into any of the places where actual political dismantling and activism happens, who have to have very specific patterns on your nails - nail painting is a method of communication and is also a huge teambuilding exercise

- There are different codes for everything

- When cops try and get in (they can only find the places if they have a member of the Queer Folk), the code is “blue denim” and then the person caught tells the police they need nail polish and then laugh as they get caught, as if they were bullshitting the whole thing

- Other things are called “10:50 am” which looks like a sleepy eye

- Or “songbird rhapsody” which is also a popular song that the Celestian sings at clubs

- Or “money” which is just a green splotch on all the nails

- If you’re a member of the Queer Folk, you get a crate monthly of money and nail polish, and special things on birthdays and holidays

- The Queer Folk do everything from organize protests to take kids in and try to pay for their education through crime - as in robbery from different places

- Their crimes always have a certain flair to them - they value creativity and snazziness

- The Celestian is like 5’ 3” (which, to be fair, is 3 inches taller than I am) and the BFF picks them up a lot

- They don’t like alcohol or caffeine but drink herbal tea 24/7

- If they don’t, something is very, very wrong

- They have a prosthetic leg

Red

- Literally in high school

- A warlock! They traded their gender and all “gender identifying features” to a trans demon for magic powers

- The demon mostly asks them to get coffee and stuff because the demon isn’t very good at bargaining and just wanted Red’s gender, but it’s expected of a patron to keep using the warlock for things

- (on the demon phone) “hey so this is super duper important and if you could get it in the next half hour that’s the best thing”

“what is it”

“alright so go to the corner of Lincoln and Greenleaf, turn three times to your right, once to your left, and a door should open behind you. Don’t try to turn towards it, just fall backwards”

“if I fall onto poison ivy or concrete I’m breaking my fucking contract”

“No, no no no, you’ll appear in that good good heaven spot”

“… the coffee shop?”

- Red focuses on science in their school

- Every interaction is a deal. E V E R Y I N T E R A C T I O N

- Breakfast? “I’ll give you the salt if you hand over the pancakes”

- Entering a building? “Hold the door open and I’ll give you praise”

- School? “You want me to tell you what I do in my spare time? Give me an A on my midterm and I’ll tell you”

- The last one has left a lot of teachers confused and more than a little scared of the silly little nerd in their class

- Honestly, they have straight A’s because they make deal after deal about grades. They never cheat on tests, but they make deals, hold people to them, and know what they’re doing

- Red’s demon is getting a little worried with all the deals

- Red is most accustomed to deals rather than anything else because they think that unequal exchange (i.e., gifts) is really suspect

- That said, Red has no problems altering “equal” exchange to benefit them

- If they ever became a business owner, they would be terrifying

- They want everything to turn out the best it can for every one but… are not fans of laws

- They have many Opinions on law, its enforcement, and the government

- That cousin that will tell you constantly about how the government is corrupt and should be rebooted with the youngest people as the primary interest

- Anarchy? Not quite, but revolution? Most definitely

- No angst, just high school silliness and chaos

- Has no idea what’s going on 90% of the time - a kid on a sportsball team did something amazing, people started treating him like shit for adults liking him, and Red had no idea until like 3 months later

- Red just kinda lives in their head

- Did they hear what you just said? Nah, but they sure did hear that wristwatch every time it clicked on the second.

- Likes the sound of adventure, but mostly gets lost in Ikea and makes deals with the eldritch monsters in the mattress section

- SUCH A SHITTY SENSE OF DIRECTION, COULD GET LOST IN A GRID WITH MAPS AT EVERY INTERSECTION

- Charismatic, but mostly in the sense of lying their ass off and persuading people

- Once tried to go a day without making a deal (on a dare), ended by making a deal to not have to ever do that again

- Businesses both hate and love them - they pay for nothing but will bargain away odd things of equivalent value every time and catch shoplifters, dislikes shoplifters because it’s not a fair trade

- Bizarrely good luck with finding things in pockets, particularly to “pay” for things

[agtdalecooper]

Colin Firth, L’Uomo Vogue [July 2014]

Giving a voice to those who need it.

Surfing the web looking for information, the definitions of Colin Firth are always the same: "One of the most talented of today’s actors, appealing, classy, chic, cultured, engaged in humanitarian causes, and with one of the most stable and lasting marriages in the world of cinema".

"So what’s wrong, Mr. Firth?". The actor does not like interviews and does not hide the fact. He smiles with his eyes, frowning slightly, "When they describe you like this, it’s because they do not know you and I do not want to be known by the public. So this boring description is perfect".

English by birth and sense of humour, the son of two university professors – the mother of comparative religion at King Alfred’s College, Winchester, and the University of Winchester, and his father, the head of education for the Nigerian government, professor of history.

It was in Nigeria that Firth spent his early childhood, of which he does not have clear memories, though well acquainted with the local culture and intellectuals who live in the country. Perhaps this nomadism and the spirituality “inherited” from his parents led him to take an interest in different cultures and to work since the early 90’s with Survival International to defend the rights of indigenous peoples around the world.

A convinced ambassador in the campaign to save the Awá, one of the last hunter-gatherer tribes in Brazil, called the “most threatened tribe in the world”, he is a supporter of the importance of protecting the culture, customs and way of life of marginalised, isolated populations who only want to protect the “romantic” aspect of their existence in a world that is increasingly obsessively industrial.

His theory is that "we evolve in length but not in breadth" and ignore everything that is not directly consistent with what we define as “evolution”. "Destroying these ethnic minorities is genocide. We are destroying our planet. We think we are making it more beautiful but we do not do it with due respect. I’m not at all naive or utopian nor against capitalism. I’m just aware that we will not be leaving anything good for the generations that follow. We should not accept this situation".

Engaged on several fronts, he also works with Oxfam for the Make Trade Fair campaign, while his wife, Livia Giuggioli, has established GCC-Green Carpet Challenge to bring a greater awareness of eco-sustainability to the red carpet.

Firth does not flaunt his commitment in any way. He just does things. Simply. He doesn’t shout but he is listened to. Colin “dissents”, writes, performs and produces.

He is the executive producer (his wife the producer) of In prison my whole life.  The documentary shows a different version of the case against Mumia Abu-Jamal, a political activist accused of murdering a Philadelphia police officer in the ’80s and sentenced to death. He has published a story, The department of nothing, which is part of the Speaking with the angel collection, whose purpose is to raise funds for the TreeHouse Trust, which helps autistic children, and has contributed to the writing of We Are One: A celebration of tribal peoples.

After being fascinated by the book by Howard Zinn and Anthony Arnove, Voices of a people’s history of the United States and the movie The people speak again by Zinn and Arnove, Firth co-published The people speak: Voices That changed Britain with Arnove, which was a play and a documentary before coming out in book form.

"Seeing from the other side, seeing the country from the part of people who are different, seeing through the eyes of those who rebelled to show that democracy is not a spectator sport, as Zinn claimed". It’s a project – giving a voice to those who are “against” – that Colin would like to develop in many other countries.

Firth was also co-author of a scientific treatise on the analysis of the brains of politicians to see if there are differences between a politician of one party or of another, coming to the conclusion that Conservatives have a greater amygdala volume and liberals have larger volume of the anterior cingulate cortex. "I was curious: there must be some synaptic circuits in the brain that affect certain positions".

What does he think of politics? "I’m an optimist. We need to look at reality. If we seek perfection, we will never do anything. In many countries there have been changes but not necessarily for the better. Sometimes you have also to accept a compromise, but not in a reductive sense, just to be able to move forward. And anyway, every era comes to an end and now a new one is emerging. Or at least I hope so".

Colin has always been “curious of the truth” and “against” ever since he was a teenager. "I was not a rebel, but I simply could not find the school system interesting. I liked music. I thought of writing or composing just to skip classes. So during weekends, I started a seminar for acting and a lady who I still see today urged me to continue. I did not want a life dedicated to something depressing. I did not want a boring life. So I chose an acting school and have not looked back! Those were years in which I was very committed to being a hippy".

And now, despite his hatred for school, he has received an honorary degree from the University of Winchester. "My career has progressed with alternating rhythms", he says of a curriculum that started in ’84 with the role of co-star alongside Rupert Everett in Another Country.

This was followed by many films: Valmont by Forman, a television version of Pride and Prejudice which provided him with thousands of fans, the two Bridget Jones and the "late bloomer” success of A Single Man by Tom Ford, for which he was nominated for an Oscar and won a BAFTA award in 2010, and on to the triumph of his role as King George V in Tom Hooper’s The King’s Speech, which won a hat-trick of awards (Golden Globe, BAFTA, Oscar in 2011).

"Sometimes you think you have chosen a good part, and sometimes instead the package is not perfect, but if you want to work you need to do different roles. Sometimes I choose a part because I like it or know the director. Sometimes I like the story. Sometimes I do not like the other actors, although this does not happen often. Often a project takes time, as was the case for the film I’ll be doing in autumn. It took three years to arrive at the starting point. I always learn, as I did with The King’s Speech. I found myself in a world I knew nothing about, among those who suffer from stuttering. I am moved by the courage of these people. They are heroes. The children especially, who must find the strength daily to face life: now I am working with them through an organisation. The writer of the movie is a stutterer and in shooting the film I realised the sense of panic that grips you even in the most simple situations, such as answering the phone or ordering in a restaurant. I have great respect for these people".

Two years ago he was made CBE by Queen Elizabeth.

And fashion? He has a relationship with the sector that is not limited to the movie, A Single Man, and having a wife committed to promoting environmentally sustainable creations: few know that he also has a past as a cover boy. In 1988, he appeared on the cover of L’Uomo Vogue.

"I respect fashion. I recognise it has its own language. Fashion goes to the heart of people and is a factor of socialisation. You can use perfect manners of speech and have a large vocabulary and yet say superficial things. Fashion tells stories. There are stories behind every outfit. It makes you dream. Fashion speaks to people and has a great power over people. In media terms, it has a great power".

And Italy? "I have a great love for Italy, for its territorial diversity and its riches. I have an Italian wife and two children who are half Italian. My life would be very empty without Italy!".

L'Uomo Vogue, July-August 2014 (n. 452)

[uncamellia-blog]

± ♥ ( right back ‘atcha )

Send me ± for a headcanon about our characters:

music of the night // It’s her most telling composition – and one that might never be finished; she writes a little bit of her heart in it, she weaves a couple strands of her memories into it, and she works on it whenever she has half a mind to, but much like the woman it is about and for, it transcends beginnings and ends and simply is, and not a single soul on the earth will know it completely.

i. She’s two. This memory is blurry and damn near inaccessible, and she’s not entirely sure if it’s perfect recall or the result of someone else telling her that it did indeed happen, but the melody is unmistakeable. The memory (and melody) goes like this:

“Mommy, mommy,” she says, tucked into bed, mere seconds after Lacha has finished brushing her hair to resemble silk, and laid her down. ��Sing me a bye,” she begs, pulling at her mother’s sleeve, big blue eyes blinking in the dim light.

“A lullaby,” Lacha corrects gently, fondly, brushing a few stray strands away from her forehead.

“Lullaby,” she imitates, closing one eye and twisting her mouth. “Please, mommy?”

Lacha concedes, and she almost lurches out of her bed with joy, but instead claps her hands together in a succession of rapid patters in the quiet of her room, and waits in anticipation, closing her eyes as her mother starts singing, soft, and simple, in a language that she doesn’t know yet. The melody’s entrancing and impossible to follow, and the memory fades out as she falls asleep.

ii.She’s three. This memory is a tad bit clearer: snow falls silently in the dead of night, and the moon stares down from a clouded sky. She’s looking out the window, head turned away from the door, entranced. Lacha turns the lights off with a whispered good night and turns to leave.

She turns her head around; she doesn’t want her mother to leave, not just yet. She cannot think of a reason to get her mother to stay: she’s in her nightgown, her hair is brushed, and she’s sleepy.

“Sing me a lullaby, mommy,” she whispers across the darkness of her room.

Lacha’s eyes glint with moonlight as she glances out the window and watches the snow, and she comes back.

The melody is different. The words remind her of freshly fallen snow glistening in vanilla moonlight, and her mother sings to bring the morning back.

iii.She’s six. The winds howl outside, and she shouldn’t cry or whine because princesses do nothing of the sort, but the trees bend, break, and moan outside, and the wind does not let up its wailing. She’s got her covers pulled up to her nose, but doesn’t feel any more secure because of it.

“Mommy,” she says, tone shaking, even as she tries to hide her tremors. “Can you please sing me a lullaby before you go?”

The lullaby her mother sings drowns out the horror, and the kiss laid upon her forehead bids her sweet dreams.

iv.She’s eleven, frowning at the mirror in a show of frustration that almost no one is privy to; she’s grown out of showing her discontent on her face, except in private. There’s a dip in her brow and her lips are pressed together tightly in her displeasure and she meets her own eyes in the mirror, and smooths out her face for a second, examining it, watching as the soft open of her mouth softens her whole face. She memorizes how it feels. 

She gives up, back to pouting at her mirror, when her mother walks in, graceful, imperial, and powerful, though her gentle tone is at odds with her stride.

Her mother fixes her hair, gently combing through it, and she observes every second of it through her vanity mirror, shifting minutely to see if she can mimic the set of Lacha’s shoulders. It doesn’t work, and she instead chooses to relax into the melody that slips forth from her mother’s lips, smiling and humming her own counter melody. She’s just recently started getting really, frighteningly good at music, or so the royal tutor tells her, and this is when it all clicks; every single lullaby and fragmented melody from her mother starts to weave itself together.

Yes, this moment, with her hair being combed into regality, and the tiara set on top, seemingly jauntily and delicately; she shakes her head and nothing moves and she smiles as the music in her head swells. “Thanks, mom,” she says, grinning and moving in for a hug, wondering if she should start learning the trumpet – so brassy and triumphant is this moment that the piano alone cannot encompass it.

She’s still shorter than her mother, and there’s a gentle kiss to the side of her head before she’s wrapped in her mother’s embrace, a gentle, loving sentiment murmured into her frame. She lays her left hand on her mother and feels the tenderness of the moment twofold. Always. She thinks that might be a fitting title for her composition.

v.She’s thirteen, and fever-delirious; she’s caught some bug, or eaten something, either way, it’s uncomfortable and she thinks she’s crying a little as she lays in her bed. In snatches of lucidity, she can see her mother by her side before she lapses back into her fever dreams. When the fever breaks and she wakes up for longer than a couple seconds, she hears the hushed quality of her mother’s go-to lullaby, and she cracks a small smile, even though she feels like gaunt death. 

She reaches her hand up, the left one, not quite coincidence but also not by design, just simply habit, and lays it upon her mother’s arm, feels the overwhelming worry, a break of relief, and then it’s all muted, because her mother has always been good at hiding what she feels.

She smiles either way, but her throat is too dry and cracked to hum along – her mother’s wild hand is still upon her, and her true desire must show how much she longs for a lullaby, because Lacha breaks a smile and continues humming.

vi.It’s moments like these that make it into her composition, which grows from a couple scribbled lines on a errant piece of scratch paper into a formal pile of papers and never shows signs of stopping. All the snatches of melody and music her mother has ever brought to her make their way into the composition, all superimposed on top of her own light narrative, usually in the higher register of notes – not too high, nor too low, but matched to the tone of her speaking voice.

Sometimes, she sings along to it. There are no words, just clear notes to pair with the piano, and she makes a note of whenever she’s singing.

vii.She finds her way back into her apartment after a fight with her mother – all controlled tones and measured words, not a beat out of place except for the feral beating of her heart as anger pumps through her veins and is forcibly subdued before it reaches the set of her mouth – and she sees the binder that holds her music on top of her piano, and rips out a page of her composition.

It crumples in her fist, and she goes to rewrite it, except all her notes run sharp and the music is angular and jagged instead of the consistent, even, tender tone of her usual musical narrative, and she cries for the loss of her music, and wonders how it is a princess who can feel all the emotions of anyone she chooses in the world has such a small range of feeling for herself. She does not pity herself. She only mourns the things in her that must die as she tries to be even half the woman her mother is.

She is not fit for the crown, not yet.

A small part of her wishes she never has to be fit for rule, but she shakes that thought quickly. The other alternative is death, and that is much worse to a girl who hasn’t had enough of the meager taste of life she’s had so far.

She wonders if this is what her mother feels like: stuck between the crown and death, even if she’s managed to dodge the sacrifice.

She returns the page she tore out of the binder so hastily, and smooths her hand over the wrinkles. Some of the notes originally on the page have been obscured or torn, and she plays the music on that page tentatively, missing notes and all.

It sounds hollow, but that seems fitting for the mood she’s in.

She dates the page.

viii.She hears of the rebellion brewing in her name and writes her conflict (dutiful daughter warring against selfish preservation) into notes, into the melody her mother has provided for the backdrop of her life.

She makes the decision to not inform her mother of the rebellion and dots a note. 

She hopes it will not be the last note in this composition.

Send me ♥ for how my character feels about yours:

The composition is titled “for██ever”, the original dedication scratched out to merely become a vague sentiment, its creator infinitely scared that someone may see far too much of herself and her subject in the music. 

But she fears needlessly – the music is so layered and complex that only those with formal training may scrutinize it and make sense of its ever shifting melodies and notes. The music grows and matures with its writer, and with every page comes another layer of subtext – the music itself cannot give away much of anything lest it is played out, but the effort and the heart sunk into it, the sheer number of pages, the compressed portions showing rewrites, and the wear of the paper showing frequent erasing in a manic attempt to get it right; well, even a fool could decipher the love that went into the making of it.

A fool can see the love; an empathetic man, the vulnerability; a sensible man, the labor; a wise man, the desire to immortality, and a musician, the narrative in flux.

[melzan-of-bregan-daerthe]

Eleint the 2nd 1489

He plucked at the strings. He was constantly doing this. They never sounded right to him, so he would tune each to resonance. Off from a typical lute, six strings either sounding like two too many or not nearly enough for him.

"Ooh, It's a passion, Ooh, you can feel it in the air~"

he more spoke under his breath than sang, but something about it carried. Some subtle magic laced into the sound, something between the strings plucked by those sharp fingernails. Iliad would glance up only a second, not at anything in particular, but as if to pull his head out of what ever world he'd left it in to catch his breath. Face hidden by veil and hood, he'd dive back into it.

Melzan heard the music. He'd been looking over his holy book. Magical music. Making sure his face wasn't visible he got up and followed the tune. Not surprised by Illiad being the musician he chose to listen. Melzan did not attempt to remain unnoticed as he approached.

The drow kept his distance to a few feet away, more out of habit from trying to hide himself from others than actually not wanting to be nearer.

His voice was always strange when he sang, the way it filtered away his strange accent. The musician was strange. Most bards wove their magic with song, and he was clearly capable. Instead he used the same kinda common gestures as any sorcerer. He didn't seem to be enjoying the tool as he played it, leaning against a stump felled some time ago. But it sounded pretty. Chords that didn't seem to be native to this realm.

"Lift your hands and voices, free your minds and join us~ you can feel it in the air~"

He didn't seem to notice melzan's approach. Or, maybe that was why he lifted his head before. Either way it didn't seem for any consequence to him. Actually, melzan would recognize this song, though the elf wouldn't be able to feel the better part of it's magic due to the nature of his race.

When Illiad finished Melzan clapped a few times. His gold eyes glowed under his hood as he tilted his head.

"You don't seem to enjoy your own music. Is there a reason?" Melzan didn't sound like he required an answer, just basic curiosity. "How easily can you play to a new tune?"

"I'm, used to something a bit less, pedestrian I guess?"

He tilted his head, phantom amber eyes of his illusion looking to melzan's. his body language was his emotional indicator. Wrapped up tight and only showing those fake amber eyes.

"I'm absolutely garbage at picking things up like that. I'm not a trained bard."

"I'm certain you are better than you think. Instruments were never something I learned. It's a bit amusing that I'd end up with a goddess who loves music and poetry. It's one of the things I've really enjoyed about the surface," Melzan folded his arms as he thought about what to say next.

The man said he would be garbage, but it might be worth a try. Not to mention Melzan really wasn't sure how to be friendly.  What would a human or another elf do? Probably try to get him to do what they wanted anyway, garbage or no.

"The instrumental part doesn't have many, uh, cords? Notes? I'm a pretty garbage singer so we'll both be bad?" admitting he wasn't good at something, normally that would be ridiculed by his kind as a sign of weakness.

"If you're looking for common ground, you've all ready had me at the aesthetic love."

He smiled up to the drow, motioning to their similar sense of dress. These conversations always amused him. Genuine awkwardness was a treat for him, something he was able to take in often with this group.

Talk of his goddess lifted a sharp eyebrow, not that melzan could see it. He had always been so expressive, hiding behind them. Almost felt naked to be so covered up. He wondered if that would matter to a goddess.

"If you sang melz, I would play with you. Might not be the sound you're looking for but, I will play."

"Common ground? Oh... similarities. It's not as fast as the one you were singing," Melzan had to think about what Illiad had meant.

Melzan didn't understand a few terms in common very well. He knew sarcasm, but joking and slang were something he had to continue working on. Swallowing he nodded and hummed a little tune. When Illiad got it, he began to sing, softly.

Melzan almost felt embarrassed about doing something so useless, but at the same time it warmed him up inside. It was a song that many who worshiped Eilistraee sang, words from their goddess.

((stealing song from dragon age because it fits the lore a bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dULdG1dGPos ))

When he finished he nodded. "Thank you...."

Plucking along was a simple thing. His notes close enough to what he thought melzan's voice needed more so then what he was look ingredients for. It, was eerie to him how the tone seemed to slowly shift from him. Fingers moving away from the established notes, to find tones more fitting on their own.

Elvish was a strange language for him. Synapses firing off and fussing about then meanings of words as he heard them. Like he was just on the cusp of understanding what they meant. He couldn't help but feel as though he was supposed to know. Elves frustrated him. Would the women who'd brought him into this world have known this song? Would she have sang it to comfort him as a child...

"Any time melz. You should know by now I enjoy spending time with you."

The young man laughed softly behind the illusion.

"You don't need to thank a friend for something like that love."

Melzan narrowed his eyes to figure out if Illiad was being sarcastic or not when he mentioned 'enjoying' spending time with him. Deciding he meant it honestly had his eyes widening in surprise. Soon the Drow looked away, unsure of what to say to those kind remarks. Even his old 'friends' did not regard him in such a manner. Not to mention no other Drow would be caught dead saying some of those things. It made him nervous and uneasy but Melzan took a deep breath and tried to ease his tensed shoulders.

"Sit melzan, it's alright to relax."

He yawned softly in response to the fries narrowing golden eyes. Atreyu really didn't get the ridgedness of it all. Expressing little things like that, it was simple and clean. Opening up without giving any ground or taking any loss. He's save the worry and stress for the real secrets. Just bury them all under open sentiment.

"You gotta teach me how to speak with you to avoid those reactions."

After taking a moment to consider the offer he moved to sit with Illiad. Relaxing is not something a Drow did easily. Most of their training built around paranoia and distrust didn't help the matter.

"What do you mean? Some of your words are..." he rubbed one of his hands with the other, thumb running over his palm as the right word struggled to find it's way out.  'Nice', 'Startling', 'untrustworthy', 'sarcastic', 'strange', 'affectionate' ... Finally he decided on a word. "Unexpected."

"I don't think the way every one else does."

He blinked, tilting his head.

"I don't really think much before I speak either. Just kinda blurt of something almost ok and steer into the current..."

Melzan let out a single laugh at remembering how Illiad had acted with people so far. The man certainly did not have a way with words as much as he had a way with song and music.

"The things you say are not bad they are just not things I am used to hearing. At all. Even the term of endearment. No one has ever referred to me as such and there's not such a word in my original language so when I actually realized what you were calling me meant I thought you might be being literal or sarcastic. I'm still a bit new to common and the surface. It's hard when the language has a meaning for words, but sometimes the word might not mean what the person meant to say, but it does anyway," Melzan shrugged. "Outside of other drow and those I met in the Underdark, I've no experience with others."

"Well, no pleasant ones."

He tilted his head, blinking again as he listened. He hadn't heard melzan say, half as much in one a single session.

"It's, words can be frustrating alright? People are a pain in the ass. They take things, the wrong way and... you should see me work when I don't care about who I'm speaking to or, wether or not someone I love is listening."

He sighed.

"I've never known another drow. You're my introduction. I promise that it hasn't been a bad one."

"You should not take my interaction as normal drow behavior, trust me. Most Drow would slit your throats as you slept. Manipulate you into killing those you care about. Just in general do their best to cause you the most pain they possibly could before killing you," Melzan was tense again as he thought about his time in his homeland. He'd still been a 'youth' when he was taken into the male band of traders/rebels.

Atreyu's hand found its self patting melzan's head, not looking over or saying anything for a moment.

"I keep meeting people from from terrible cultures. People who have escaped for what ever reasons."

He frowned, not taking his hand away, just gently patting.

"There are a lot of terrible people. Lot of terrible worlds and cultures. Even people who are at peace are terrible. Every single person I've ever met is the same in chains."

The hand patting his head startled Melzan and it took a lot of control not to jerk away. He held his hands together so tightly they trembled before he convinced himself that it was a regular gesture. He knew that patting a persons shoulder or hand was a thing, but not the head. It didn't hurt, or feel upsetting, just new.

"I think when it comes to cruelty demons may be the only ones out there worse than the Drow... But I have not been over the entire world so, that might be wrong. I've never known another race that openly accepts slaughtering and torturing their own families. Children, babies and all. Sometimes just for 'fun'," Melzan looked around to make sure there weren't any others that may be startled by his appearance. Satisfied he reached up and let his hood fall back and uncovered his face.

"Well, honestly, that is... uh, a really fucking stupid way to do things."

He nodded, pulling his hand back and putting his weight on melzan's shoulder. He was, too light. Sickly light for a human man, even more for a half orc. It might have even be weird to see him without food in his mouth.

"I know what it's like to be under to influence of an evil deity."

"... There's something more wrong with you than you let on. You're keeping it from everyone. Not just what you are. I realize you don't want people to know. Cursed or worse. Constant need to eat. The so thin you probably should be dead appearance, although I'm not sure how much of that is for show," Melzan took in a deep breath and looked at him before smiling a little. "You're pretty fucked up, friend. Guess that's why we all actually are getting along. All fucked up in our own ways. Also, I'm using that word correctly? It's a vulgar common word used to emphasize things, correct?"

"It's just very lewd to keep saying while we're so close to each other."

He lied casually. Deflection, swerve and bob and duck and deflect. He was an excellent liar.

"Yeah, we're all a mess huh? I'm just a hungry guy trying to keep a pretty girl safe. Like a cliche story."

"Lewd?" Melzan thought about that and what they normally thought was 'lewd' on the surface. His skin around his cheeks darkened ever so slightly, hardly enough to even be noticeable. "Yes. We are a mess. I've never really read stories like that. So this is all kind of new. Also, you're not just a hungry guy. That 'ritual' you do in the morning is not for meditation or worship." Melzan poked the man in the chest. "And I bet it has something to do with your missing shadow and how much you care for Nessa. I like mysteries, and I don't forget about them. Just because you wont tell me or try to avoid it, doesn't mean I'm going to completely drop the issue. I can have patience."

"Well, you'll out live me love. So I just gotta wait till I drop."

He chuckles, finishing his ritual and creating his dome of space around them. Taking a breath, he released the glamour that was masking him and pulled his hood back.

"I have a lot of answers, all of them are lies and I really hope you don't hate me for it. Maybe some time I'll tell you about the derst house where I met her."

"This really does seem a lot like home sometimes," Melzan smiled and didn't seem bothered by the fact that they would be lies. "Your business is your business. I'm not curious about how you met Nessa, more I'm curious about what's going on with you. As a healer, it worries me. I want to help you, but I don't know how." Melzan admitted and looked at Illiad. "Also, we all might die. I'll only outlive you if no one kills me first. Which, considering everything, may be likely. I have a lot of people who hate me. A lot."

"I intend to keep you alive remember?"

He yawned and stretched, taking his weight off of melzan. The half orc was, a definite change from the false human who had just been sitting with the drow. Olive skin, and a broad scar across his face. His orcish features were minimal. Sharp canines, but hardly the tusks one expected to see, a more animalistic nose, a long jagged ears. His left eye was, beast like. A sharp green iris, and blade strip of black at it's centre. Orcish. His right however, wasn't so much an eye as it was a Maroon coloured orb almost glowing.

"I mentioned the house because it was a mystery. Haunted and evil, but i pieced together it's story. I like stories."

He shrugged, pulling the cloak off, no one else could enter the hut so, he had his privacy. His breast plate would take a moment.

"If you're concerned about my health then you can look me over."

"Maybe I'll have to look into it later but haunted houses aren't so mysterious most of the time. Also, yes, I do hope you can keep me alive," he watched Illiad and tried to figure out if he'd put on weight with the disguise down.

He was a bit surprised that they were in his hut with such privacy without the others. Most of the time Illiad summoned the hut when it was time to sleep for all of them. At the same time when the half-orc began to take off his breastplate it made more sense.  This apparently was something that Milo, Nessa, and Sam had no knowledge of.

"You really do trust me," Melzan said out loud more to himself than to Illiad. "I - uh... I'll do my best not to um... betray it..." he'd heard other people say that and it felt odd, but right to admit.

If anything, the breast plate and the layers of clothing under played exactly how under weight he was. Under the plate he wore a simple loose shirt. Something a sailor might wear. He was tall, inches taller out side of the illusion, and his shoulders were broad the way one would expect a half orc to be. But his body was thin, and lithe, too thin. He, didn't look sickly, in fact his physical constitution was well above average. Atreyu was just thin.

"You'd be surprised how often I tell the truth. Like I said, I trust you."

He flicked his wrist, and a crossbow bolt popped into existence. He tossed it onto the cloak.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, but I am getting better, slowly."

Melzan looked at the bolt then back to illiad. So this man wanted him to keep even more secretes. Not that he couldn't, but Melzan wasn't sure how the other team members would react to that once he heard about it.

"Getting better slowly is a good thing at least." Melzan nodded.

The bolt was no secret from the others. Just a means of defence in case of being unarmed. Defence that could sting a good deal more then cantrips. Save the dagger in his boot that he was just about to toss onto the cloak, he was completely unarmed.

"People have secrets. Mine are to protect nessa and my self. Pretty soon it won't matter."

"My health doesn't matter for now. I can still fight, I can skill cast, and I can still lie. Every other thing is extra melzan."

Melzan nodded. Though he moved to look over Illiad.

"Your health might not matter now, but that could change. It's very, very easy for someone to go from sickly to bed ridden. Granted I was wrong and you look even more starved now."

He looked up at the scar on Illiad's face and wondered how he survived from that. Likely friends or a healer. Maybe he didn't survive and a cleric or someone revived him. Melzan had his own scars, but nothing quite as severe, at least he didn't think so. Then again no one ever saw  his scars. Even with other he only uncovered his face. His gloves stayed on, and basically everything he wore stayed on. Nothing else exposed but his face. Elf like features, high cheek bones, pointed ears although they were shorter than surface elf ears. Dark, almost blue skin, and silvery white hair.

-insert insight check of 18-

He's not lying about keeping secrets to protect himself and nessa.

He definitely looks worse without his illusion up.

And you get the idea that he has no fucking idea what's going on with his body, or if he is getting better

Melzan frowned. He reached out and paused before touching Iliad's arm. He wasn't sure if the half orc wanted him to try and figure this all out.

Atreyu stretched, taking a sip from the ewer he kept on his hip. How he wasn't always completely sloshed was dizzying. His half orc physiology was probably the only thing keeping him... standing anyway. He didn't flinch as melzan touched him, actually, almost. It had been awhile since anyone actually touched him. He took another sip, eyes shifting to the drow's. "Thirsty melz?"

"... I suppose," he nodded. "Do you want to figure this all out? I'm not promising that i can, but i can at least try," he would take the ewer when offered.

"No? Maybe?" He shrugged, holding the glorified wine jug out. It, was pretty, made of some brassy metal, adorned with images of wolves and deers and other forest animals dancing about in relief. It, felt as though it was half full, liquid swishing inside, but if melzan were to look, it would be empty. "Just take a sip, it's weird but it pours." The wine it's self was, a delightful pink fizzy liquid, deliciously sweet and very strong. As likely to catch a person off guard with hiccups as alcohol content.

Melzan was caught off guard slightly. The hiccups started soon after his drink. He couldn't cast spells hiccuping like that. During on hiccup he glared a little at Iliad.

Then, he removed one of his gloves and reached to touch his arm. A maybewas as good as a yes he figured.

He smiles playfully as the hiccups started, a genuine and abruptly handsome smile. He shook it off after a moment with a yawn.

"Don't, beat yourself up if you can't do anything love."

"I won't. Just means i have to research more."

Melzan frowned as he realized that there wasn’t much he could do. The curse was strong and out of his power, but he could at least assist with the pain or the side effects of the curse. 

[btsxyou]

Can’t We Make it Up to You?

Anonymous asked: Can you please do a threesome smut with Jimin x reader x V? Also can the story line be you are working on a group project at your house ?? Pleaseeee 💜

Warnings: SMUT, just some nasty threesome smut, language you know the drill

Note: THIS IS REALLY LONG FOR ME,  ,95 line, ouch (why do i picture 95 line like the twins from ouran….so mischievous.. ) this was so fun tho THIS IS A LOT OF SMUT OKAY

“Guys, can you listen for like five seconds? We really need to finish this, I don’t want to be stuck procrastinating and doing it the night before its due, I actually want it to be good.”

Jimin groaned. The two of them were sitting together watching some video on Taehyung’s phone. Tae’s eyes didn’t bother to leave the screen but Jimin was looking at you, head leaned back against the seat of the couch behind him. You sat across from the duo, papers scattered across the floor, the beginning of a powerpoint on your computer screen waiting for completion. That won’t happen however, without the cooperation of your partners.

You sighed out of frustration, tucking some of your hair behind your ear as you leaned closer to the computer screen.  You didn’t want to be stuck doing everything yourself, but that’s usually what happens.

“I should know better than to partner with you guys. It’s always the same.” You said to them, shaking your head.

“Ugh, don’t be so worried. We will work on it with you. We promise.” Jimin leaned forward, now looking at you more intently.

“Yeah, we promise.” Tae finally spoke.

“We will work with you really hard for half an hour if you allow us to apologize to you for causing you stress.” Jimin reached for his backpack, pulling out a notebook from the class that your project was due in. You look at him skeptically, they usually did always make it up to you, you had to admit that. For some reason, they both caused you so much trouble but always had some sort of apology that made being friends with them sort of worth it.

“Why do you think we never do anything, Y/N? We’ve worked on this project on our own in our own time, just because we aren’t putting together the presentation doesn’t mean we haven’t done the work you asked us to.” Tae handed you his notebook, along with Jimin’s full of much needed information and notes from class.

“It would have been nicer if I had this two hours ago…” you thought to yourself, that way you would probably be done. But you should’ve known, this is how it always is. You breathed a sigh of relief after noticing that they actually did do what you asked of them, doing the needed research and adding the sources along with their information.

You quickly typed the information on the slides, editing and formatting the text and photos you had found, adding the sources at the end and doing any finished touches that the presentation may need. All that was left was to arrange the speaking points of each slide and assigning those to each group member and making sure everyone would have their speech points.

“So, for the information we all found, how about we present those to the class individually, please, please, please, have a good speech to present about your topics and don’t embarrass me.” You begged, hands clasped together in front of your chest. They were never bad speakers, but they always tended to go a little overboard.

“Of course, we know what to do.” Jimin stated, Tae nodding along with his words with his wide smile plastered on his face.

You let out a deep breath of relief, flipping their notebooks back to their covers, and closing your laptop. You stood, gathering your belongings to put away and prepare yourself for whatever the duo had in mind for you.  Usually they would immediately make up for their actions, whether it was just who they are, or if they enjoyed toying with you, they were pretty good at making you forget all about it.  One time, they accidentally caused you to drop your phone, resulting in a small crack on the corner of the screen. An hour or so later, they appeared with a new phone.

They liked to play tricks on people, making things disappear and them placing them back was a very simple but equally frustrating little ploy. It made you feel insane… you had just seen it.  Things didn’t grow legs and walk away, but with them around, they usually did.

And then theres that one time that you broke the radio in your car, and then woke up to found your car missing. After several hours of freaking out and trying to come up with excuses to tell your mom when she got home…. Your car appeared again. And out of it came Jimin and Taehyung, as if nothing had happened at all. Even after all the anxiety that it caused you, you couldn’t stay upset for too long. They replaced your radio at a shop with an even better one, and even brought you dinner. That’s how it usually was… Your life was filled with constant stress only interrupted by gifts and acts of their kindness.  There was no doubt in you that all of their intentions were pure, obviously they felt pity on you for causing you trouble.

Jimin and Tae stood also.  Since Taehyung was taller than Jimin, he easily slid his arms around his shoulders giving him a back hug, and laying his chin against Jimin’s shoulder. This was a usual position for them.  They adored you almost as much as they adored each other.  They rarely parted, and, when apart you were more able to decipher their true personalities.  They were different but didn’t clash.  They were almost like the ultimate human: smart, attractive, successful at deceiving others and knowing just how exactly to get what they want.  As much as it seemed that they lacked innocence or sympathy,  they constantly reminded you ow thoughtful or caring they actually were, and it started with each other.

“Y/N…We were thinking.  We can get dinner later, but there’s something else we want to do now.” Tae said, a devilish grin appearing on his face. He was blinking at you through the hair that slightly covered his eyes. His appearance was always a lot more child like than Jimin’s.  They sported similar hairstyles, the only difference being the part. Taehyung’s hung close to his eyes, making him appear much younger,  almost like a puppy who was a little messy and followed you everywhere.

“Yeah, it will be fun, we promise. We think you’ll like it.” Jimin said, the same grin flashing across his lips. They broke away from each other, moving to surround you. He, on the other hand, allowed his hair to part ever so slightly on his forehead, allowing just a teasing look at his forehead.

You looked up at both of them, a slight fear washing over your body in a wave. What are they doing? You weren’t going to hold it to them, they’re usually a little weird with each other and sometimes with you. So this wasn’t exactly beyond them…

“Ah, Y/N, sorry for stressing you out.” Taehyung deep voice vibrated against your ear from behind you, causing a wave of goosebumps over your skin. “You seem so tense, we’re sorry.”

“Yeah, don’t you trust us? We won’t hurt you. This will feel good.” Jimin added, taking a step towards you and wrapping his arms around your waist.

You looked at him, sensing how both of them were positioned in front and behind of you, slowly taking in the situation with realization. This was even a little far for them, but you had to admit… You liked the idea of it. You nodded, feeling hands on your hips as Tae pushed his crotch into your ass, slightly grinding into you. Jilin’s eyes were glued to your lips as if they were the most fascinating things he’s ever seen in his life. You were too afraid to reach out, as if you might ruin their plan.  Who knows how long they’ve had this whole situation in mind.  It could’ve occurred to them just today, or months ago. You had yet to fully figure out how they worked.

Jimin pushed his plush lips against yours, already having such a perfect rhythm with you, as if you’d known each other this way for years. He was soft, and inviting and it felt so comfortable. Tae roamed his hands all over your body, he was definitely a more curious lover than Jimin already. They slipped over your hips, moving to cup your ass and then sliding up over your stomach, rising high enough to cup your breasts but never quite getting there.

Grasping along your hips again, he pulled you backwards down the hall towards your bedroom. Jimin broke your kiss to pull your shirt off over your head, giving him a good view of what he had in store for when he removed your bra.  His eyes were honest, taking in each part of your body as it became exposed to him. Tae on the other hand was tugging on you, reminding you that he was there too.

“Y/N!” He said happily “You cooperate so well.  A lot different than us, huh?” He approached you quickly, his lips attacking yours, then slipping lower to your neck. His actions were playful, taking his time to suck marks along your neck and collarbones, and gently nibbling at any free skin he could get.  Each bite was making you gasp, feeling yourself get wet as Jimin slid his hands over your ass, hinting that your pants would be the next item to go. He slipped his fingers underneath waist band of your leggings and slid them down slowly.

“You’re amazing…” Jimin said, grabbing handfuls of your ass and squeezing, causing you to let small gasps into Taehyung’s mouth.

“Really amazing.” Tae added after pulling away from you, looking at you as he ran his tongue over his teeth as he smiled openly. “But! One more thing!”

He reached behind you and quickly undid the clasp of your bra causing it to slide off your shoulders before you even registered what was happening. Jimin grabbed your hand and led you to your bed, pushing for you to sit down.

The duo stood back and took in the sight, Tae wrapping his arm around Jimin’s shoulder as they contemplated what to do next.  Or they already knew what they were doing… and just wanted to make you more nervous than you already were. No matter how deceptive they acted, they expected people to catch on and deceive them as well.  They were often quick to know when someone was lying, which made it impossible to make up any excuses to avoid their shenanigans for just one day.

There was actual little doubt in your mind that they hadn’t planned all of this.  Just one look at each other, as if they had telepathy, they were able to know what to do next.  No real words needed to be used, just simple looks.  How they knew what each other was thinking was beyond you.

“Y/N… Tell us who you want first.” Jimin said. You looked between the two several times.

“Yeah, we really wanna taste you. It doesn’t matter who you choose, but if you don’t hurry then we might change our minds.” Tae added, looking a little bored by your hesitation.

Although they had different personalities, they were equally devious. Tae was a quicker lover, definitely more playful, which means he would get you there fast… and Jimin was caring and slow, which means he would be agonizing but so so so sweet.

“Jimin.” You said calmly, although you were far from it.  He walked towards you slowly as did Taehyung, and you were trying to prepare yourself for what was to come.

“Oh, wait, this isn’t fair. Jimin, we should take off our clothes shouldn’t we?” Taehyung was already stripping himself of his shirt as he spoke, and Jimin followed suit. Within seconds they were both stripped down to their underwear. You took in the sight of both of them, seeing them shirtless many of times and of course in shorts but this was different. Usually it was never anything that brought you much attention, other than the warranted God, they have such nice bodies. Now you could feel yourself clench in hunger for one of them to finally touch you and make your wetness seem more validated.  Each of them were extremely toned, although they had different physiques they were both equally attractive.

Jimin kneeled in front of you, gently slipping a hand between your knees to open you up to him. He tried his best to not look too pleased by how sweet you looked to him, your folds glistening so slightly in the dimmed light of your bedroom. Tae perched himself beside you on the bed, dying to touch you but not starting to yet. Instead his eyes drifted over your skin, marking out places in his head that he really wanted to feel the most.

Jimin brought himself closer to you, you could feel the cool air from his breathing against your wetness, your patience dwindling. You wanted someone to touch you, to relieve all of your arousal and make it worthwhile.

“We share so well, Y/N. You know that.” Tae was smiling, raising his hand close to you, waiting to touch you the minute that Jimin placed his mouth against you. “Are you ready for us? Please say yes!”

“Y-y-yes.” You were shaking from anticipation, and hoping that neither of them noticed.

Jimin kissed both of your thighs before diving into you skillfully, the strokes from his tongue were slow and sensual but not too slow. He desired to taste you fully, to feel your wetness soak his tongue. He took time to reach every spot, focusing especially on your clit. You were trying to enjoy the sensation as much as possible as Tae’s hands roamed along your body once more.

“How about, we make it a pattern. Jimin, then me.  Then I fuck your mouth while Jimin fucks you, and then we will switch.” Tae said to you as he squeezed your breasts, only stopping to pinch lightly at your nipples causing your moans to raise in pitch. You nodded quickly, not wanting to answer with your voice since it was already being used elsewhere.

“Okay, that’s good for us.  Oh, and you can cum however many times you like. I hope we are good enough for four times… But it’s up to you.” He bright smile was replaced with a smaller much more devious one.  He was acting as if he already had plans for how many releases you would have. Taehyung already knew that he could get you there, and quickly. He was low-key especially glad that you picked Jimin first, knowing that Jimin was crazy good at getting someone worked up, and that he would take it from there usually.

He attached his lips to your skin, his tongue trailing across your skin wherever he wanted, sucking lightly on places you never thought you would even enjoy. Jilin’s tongue was also fixated on you, only leaving when Jimin took the time to suck your clit into his mouth and squeeze at the sensitive bud.

Tae moved his lips to your neck, kissing up one side while his hand was wrapped around the other.

“God, I never thought your moans would sound this great.” He said into your ear, goosebumps rippling across your skin from his voice again.  It was so low, so sensual and like a velvet you wanted to hear it all day long… and sometimes you did. But never like this. “Aren’t you going to cum for Jimin?”

His words hit the pit of your stomach with a pang, and it seemed impossible for you to get any wetter but you felt yourself flooding into Jimin’s mouth at his question. Your stomach was already twisting but you were putting it off, trying to hold off on this bit of ecstasy.

“Come on, Y/N. We are doing this for you, please enjoy it, yeah?”

Jimin sped up his tongue a little, sliding his fingers into you and causing you to moan into Tae’s mouth, but it was just what you needed to let go.  Your body was shuddering under the feeling, although you were still trying to fight how good it felt since your body would have to go through this so many times. Not that you had to, but you deserved it.

Jimin pulled away from you, leaving wet kisses along your thighs before switching places with Tae. Taehyung giggled cutely as he took in the sight of you, completely ready to taste you as he positioned himself between your legs.

“Oh, Y/N, I hope this is as fun for you as it is for me.” He winked before diving in between you legs with no warning. He licked harshly over your clit once, then over every place available to him.  He was so curious to feel you on his mouth, in his mouth. He loved the way you felt and the way you tasted and wanted you to feel that good.

HIs tongue felt as if it was moving at lightning speeds over your clit, bringing you closer and closer, your voice raising higher and higher in pitch as his hands grabbed at your thighs and hips.  He acted as if he couldn’t get enough of you. He was digging his tongue into you, lapping up your juices as you were squeezing your thighs around his head.  You couldn’t help but grind yourself into his face, your hips bucking at all of the overstimulation he was giving you after Jimin’s turn.  It was agonizing but it was so so so sweet, you wanted him to take you there and he was as quickly as he possibly could.

You could feel yourself getting closer and closer, clutching into Jimin’s hair and pulling as he was kissing your lips, your face, your neck, and down your chest.  He was trying to soothe all of the pleasure that Tae was giving you, afraid that things might be too much for you, ready to stop everything when you gave the word.

Your orgasm hit you like a truck, it was so heavy and loud. You wanted to scream but there was nothing, absolutely nothing leaving you.  You were wide eyes and mouth, only releasing breathy grunts after the first few seconds.  Tae continued with his tongue on you, but slower now, just helping your finish what he started.

When you managed to come down from you high, he began to leave you, but reluctantly.  He kissed on your clit gently causing you to shudder, then bit out at your thighs before taking a place on the bed opposite Jimin.

Tae took his place with a smile, completely ready to have your mouth around him, as Jimin placed himself behind you, his hardened cock lined up with you and ready to enter at your word. He caressed along your back with his hands, then placed each one on either hip.

“Y/N, is this fine? Are you ready?” Jimin rubbed along your back again, following his question.

“I’m ready.” You eyed ever Tae’s cock, it was hard as a rock as oozing from the tip. He was beyond ready for your mouth and you had barely even done anything to him yet.  You lowered your mouth onto him and Jimin slowly slid into you, allowing you to get comfortable with his size before moving.

Tae was laughing through his moans, his face in complete heaven as your head bobbed around him, trying your best to treat him as good as he treated you. You swirled your tongue around him a few times, nibbling along his head with your lips.

Jimin was thrusting into you, it was gentle but somehow so harsh, moving his hips in such a way that it was making your arms and legs weak just feeling it. It was a steady pace, knowing exactly how to please you where exactly you wanted it without even having to ask.  They way that they were able to read you – or anyone was completely amazing.  They knew exactly what you wanted without you ever having to open your mouth, but they would ask you anyways just for the satisfaction.

You hummed around Tae’s cock each time Jimin hit that perfect spot and angle and they both knew that in no time you would be close. You paid extra attention to Tae, switching your speeds from slow to fast, earning loud groans and a mix of shit and fuck from his perfect lips.  You used one hand to cup his balls, squeezing lightly. His brows furrowed as his head dropped back, fighting how good it felt because this isn’t where he was wanting to let go.

He only lasted a few seconds like this before he gently pushed you away, a pained smile on his face as he did so.  God, he looked so beautiful like that, he was almost helpless under your touch and it made you feel amazing to see him on the other side for once. You let it go, allowing yourself to focus on how Jimin was making you feel again, this time now going to be the second time you came for him, and the third time overall.  Your limbs were feeling tired, and your stomach was starting to ache from all the clenching to reach your release and to make Jimin feel equally as good inside you.

You pushed yourself back into Jimin, begging with your body for him to thrust a little harder, to get you there and help you let go. He sped up his pace a little, remembering exactly the spot that made you shake and squeal underneath him from pleasure, and he continued to hit it as you fell apart completely underneath him. He leaned forward to kiss down your back as you laid there trying to catch your breath and ready yourself for the final round.

Tae slid a finger under your chin that was resting against your sheets and lifted your face enough to look you in the eyes.

“Are you okay?”

You were too tired to nod so you smiled to him, and he kissed you sloppily before switching places on your bed with Jimin.

Jimin laid against your headboard, allowing for you to have your complete way with him while Taehyung had his way with you. Jimin reached forward to caress your face while you hovered over his dick, taking glances down at it. He was gentle as always, allowing you to take your time and do as you please.

“Are you okay?” Jimin looked at you sweetly. You always felt like you were experiencing deja vu with them, which you almost were. You nodded to him and he smiled.

Tae on the other hand, was busy sliding the tip of his cock along your wet folds.  You could hear him behind you groaning slightly every time he made a pass at your hole, the vibrations from his low voice raising all of the hairs on your body on end.

We share so well, you know that.

You bounced Tae’s sultry deep voice around in your head. They did share really well, that was obvious. They each had their own styles which made sharing so simple and fluid, and fun.

“Y/N, ahh, I can’t wait to be inside you. Can you wait?”

“No,” You hummed against Jimin’s cock, so hard and waiting for your mouth.

Light groans were coming from behind you. “Don’t you wanna taste yourself on Jimin? What are you waiting for… You’re delicious, trust me!” He pushed himself inside of you slightly, only to the base of his tip, but it was already so amazing you couldn’t help but to gasp.

You dropped your open mouth down over Jimin, taking him in as far as possible before sucking off harshly as Tae pushed into you completely. It wasn’t as big of a shock as it could have been since Jimin was just inside you, but it was still a new feeling and equally as amazing as Jimin.

You returned the same level of gentleness and care that Jimin showed to you, making sure not to tease him too much.  You were losing energy, not having nearly as much stamina as either of them and you were grateful that this was going to be the last round.

You focused on sucking of Jimin pretty simply, but throwing in some extra stimulating actions here and there. You couldn’t help but enjoy the sounds coming from him, small moans here and there mixed with whimpers and whines and it sounded so angelic. His voice was almost harmonizing with Tae’s from behind you, his grunts were low, especially his moans, both in complete different octaves.

Tae began slowly, knowing that you were tired but was almost giving you energy with each thrust.  He was definitely more playful and curious, his hands grabbing at your hips and around to your breasts, then in your hair.  His pace was a lot faster than Jimin’s, even taking the time to swirl his hips around and give you a new sensation.

“Fuck, Y/N, you feel so amazing I have no idea how Jimin lasted so long back here…” It was subtle hint between gasps that he wasn’t going to last much longer, but he didn’t want to admit it. He took great pleasure in releasing his energy this way and never wanted to appear lesser than his counterpart, but he knew that Jimin was struggling hold on also.

“Y/N, ah” Jimin was whimpering under you, his voice breathy and breaking. “Shit… can you please cum one last time for us?”

Tae began to thrust into you roughly, and reached his hand around to rub at your clit. You jumped slightly at the feeling, it was still so sensitive from everything before but you knew it would help you reach that final ecstasy much quicker. Your moans were busying your mouth so much that you had to break away from Jimin.  He moaned as he took in the sight of your lips, so plump and swollen from all of their work, covered in a mix of saliva and pre-cum.

You already know that your body would be so sore tomorrow, it was already beginning to hurt as your clenched around Tae, your stomach muscles tightening once more to allow you a release.  You didn’t want to give up, So you took Jimin in your mouth once more, sucking on him much more harshly than before, digging your tongue into his slit and playing extra attention to his very sensitive tip.  

You clenched around Tae at the same time, trying to milk both of their orgasms out of them so you could all release at the same time. Within a few thrusts you felt yourself breaking again, falling down into that agonizing heaven, your body almost completely giving out beneath you this time.

Tae pulled out of you, allowing you to ride out your orgasm on your own as he pumped his cock behind you, followed by Jimin in front of you, both of them spilling their milky white seeds out onto your back in a unison of groans, moans, and whimpers.

The room was filled with loud panting, each of you trying desperately to catch your breaths and cool down from the previous 4 rounds of activities.

You listened to the shuffling of feet on your floor in a tired daze, not even startled by the cold towel that was cleaning off your back.

“Y/N, are you alright? Here, pull this on. I think we all need a nap now.” Jilin’s voice was sweet, handing you a large shirt to pull on and also a pair of your underwear.

“Ah, wasn’t that so much fun? I hope you liked it.  We thought you really deserved something nice.” Tae added, standing beside Jimin, his arm over his shoulder once more.

“I really did actually…” You admitted your defeat, they always got to you in the end with all the things they do for you.

“We’re glad we could make it up to you.” They said in perfect unison, then climbed into your bed with you, ready to rest.

[chaoticpolicecollective]

On touring Europe, making a new show each time, and learning their craft all the time. check the body language, how Dean touches J (her breast, knees, how they’re sitting).

JT: CHris is the more creative one with with a show in their own style

I would be scared to try anything new because I was afraid of hurting him.

CD: we had the blade though the hand, we had the blade through the head

4:40 on the question of the relationship off the ice CD says taking JT’s hand: we were going to make the announcement tonight but just before the programme we had a steaming row so we decided to put it off. <Audience laughs>

6:30 TW : how many more years can you go on?

7:17 song, TW: It’s a number one in Albania. Is that what you’re going ot do now?

JT <seriously>: This was his therapy after the car crash, he was very very bored, and he felt that the only thing he could do was to sing, and that’s what we did.

(Accident in ‘Dancing on ice”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKK6c_hd9Y8 )

10:12 CD: we wont take part in the olympics because everything we do in the routine is illegal

In dance you can’t touch this part of the body, you can’t spin, you can’t do this sort of lift. IT’s stricter, more contained, it’s ice dancing. And since then we’ve gone on to hold all those bits, and do all those buts and we enjoy doing it and we don’t want to let it go of it.

Interview 1995 (with Chris being late https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PIyV1xCyKs

They’ve written a book

Host: Chris is stuck in traffic. Mind you I think you’ll be able to dine out on that

JT: I am. I’m having such a hard time. He’s always the one who’s exactly on time: saying ‘you won’t be late, you won’t be late’. If anything it’s me who’s a little bit late’

When we received the MBE he actually told me the wrong time so that I could get the earlier, so i’d be actually on time.

H: Tell him to get his skates on.

1.13 - About the book:

H: It’s a wonderful insight to .. How does it feel that, you know(raises the book) here’s my life, up till now.

JT: we often thought that, you know, this is it, we had to pout it down in writing, we tried ot be as acutrate with everyting, trying ot be as open...because you know this is an account of our lives to date. WE wanted to take time. It actually took as about a year to when we started talking about it. And w e had written a book previously but it was up until 84, and it felt like we’ve done an awful lot since then as professionals and we also wanted to talk about ourselves as people. Eveeyrone is always asking about our relationship, how that works and how we spend so much time together, what’s it like, is it like brother and sisiter or like a marriage (face). It was hard, we dont really know but we tried to speak about iti n the book to see if people can understand that a little bit more.

h: I mean the speculation about that was unbelievable at one time. You laugh about that now?

JT: Yes, at the time it was very frightening and overwhelming, we didnt understand why peopel wanted to know that, information about our private lives and we thought that people will be interested in the actual skating. At the time it was frightening but we learnt to handle it. IT woudl be like:

H: it’s this crossover between sport and show business at the end of the day.

about the book - to everyone who want to knwo truth not hte mysths.

3.30 - Chris arrives (body language)

CD: THe traffic is against us this mornign.

JT: Anyway, I’m doing fine, I’m ding fine (she sits on him to cover him up)

skating , roller blading, skiing, worried abut breaking anything

5.02 H: 1994 Winte Olympics, you put yourselves through it, you put us all thorugh it, I think the viewing fugures were as high as the royal wedding or somethign like that. HAve you ever thought, why, why are we doing this, why are we putting ourselves through this

JT: Well, I think when we stepped on for te final performance, that moment of waiting, the tension is awful

Going on competitions gives usa chance to choreograph something new. It’s nice to work on new pieces.

Late Late Show 1995 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPkBMuXUUu4

2.00 H: I noticed you’ll be perfroming in Dublin on Friday 13th, Are you peolpe  s....

CD: It’s Jayne’s choice, she likes numbers like that

JT: I like 13. Like they say ‘unlucky for some’ so..I consider it lucky myself

Yo Yo MA: celoist: Bach Cello Suite #5: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF5oY-_AT3s

Allemande: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF5oY-_AT3sy

Bach wanted to meet Handel. Here’s T&D choreography to Bach.

Labour of love, not for competition, for the beauty of the movement:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF5oY-_AT3sy

BBC - Face The Music - The Return of Torville and Dean: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF5oY-_AT3sy

Streets named after them, and Bolero Close

Honour Degrees from Nottingham University

1.15 - CD (saying a joke): What’s the definition of the intellectual’? Someone who can hear the William Tel Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger. Well let’s try this one shall we (hums Bolero)

1.35 Since then anxious questions have been prompted by (the art): surely this isnt sport. Is that art? HOw can they re-enter the Olympics.

1.48 Enter the olympics in Norway next year (1994). Their return was made possible due to the change of rules about the competing styles

2.50 They hired the ice rink (in Milton Keyns) for 4 hour a day 6 days a week to work on the stepr for Rumba and their 3 min free dance on which their comback will be judged.

3.20 CD: Each day w’d work on a section and the next day we’d double it ...then break it up again

5.00 (comments during perfecting a move)

5:35 JT: ‘We’ve used the video in the past quite a bit but we probably never used it this early on

9:03 - JT: He’s very forceful, very dominant, and if i was the same character we’d have too many clashes. But in a partnership you need somebody to be the driving force.

CD: And i think it’s part of what i do, i keep pushing. ANd ok, if i see a mistake or feel the mistake umm and if it is Jaynes Mistake, i’ll tell her. And if it’s mine I’ll tell her that she’s made a mistake too. (laughs)

JT: I’m pretty sort of easy going person, I’m very, usually placid and I need someone to fire me up, to get me going sometimes and he’s always liked it

10.45 JT: Of course I have a different rapport with Phil, my husband, when oyu meet someone you fall in love with .. there’s a magic element that attracts you to each other (Phil is a soudn engeneer from CHicago ,working with Genesis, JT tripps over the leaves - ‘I thought you’re supposed to be well coordinated’)

CD: about being in love with Jill (partner) and previous marriage break up (both ice skaters)Will you get married

11:45 CD: We knew it wouldnt work to work and be partners in live

14:52 Reneissance of dancing put back into skating (hence ‘Face The Music and Dance’)

15.00 - COMMERCIAL ASPECT: Agent / costs/ making 1 million punds if they do win, merchanduse, endorsements,very marketable comodities, they need to come back to hog the headlines

19:45 About wearing lycra and friend disapproval. You can get away with wearing anythign these days 20:30 about measuring the costume for Chris

21:10 It’s about steps and what our bodies are doing, they’re not so twisted.. its about the firs time a man to hold of a woman and started dancing wiht her instead on hi own.

22:00 Costumes from Jayne. You need to have 3 outfits. 1 for practices in character, looking like oyu could wear it. One you’re there you’re on display, on the first day of practice you need to show the judges, have all the bits right. Have flattering shape of the costume and the less material - the colder it is

22:50 - 2 ment (Chris & Trainer) talk about Jayne’s expression - storng but where did the coyness go. (and later) I love her expression when she does it. Her eyes are so big.

23:30 (during practicing) JT: Too Fast Too Fast.

CD: Don’t resist me one I started

24:!7 it’s about the presentation now: ‘it’s awkward. When I see Jayne’s arm is so stiff, looks very static to me

25:00 talking about Jayne’s impressions and directing her - how she should behave/ perform aka similar to when M instructs Nicholas in the performance.

25: 58 CD: ‘there’s a girl her who wasn’t born when we won our first championship.

JT: Really? Oh Dear.

26:25 JD: We’re really hapy wit hteh draw we got because alle the skater are doing the same pattern in the compulsory dance. It get’s like tram lines out there. Whereas the ice looks smooth to the person watching, to the person skating, it’s like getting caught on lines and other peopel’s edges - you can catch them and get into the groove and it can really throw you off balance27:20 PRACTICE/ talking about the movements, drawing the movement trajectory with a finger in the air - MOVEMENT 28:15 They create the intensity and electricity between them (29:10 Chris’ partner: Jayne is calm and Chris is nervous. That’s how it works. Because I’m in love with Chris I can tell by looking in his eyes whether the smile is forced or genuine 29:50 Applying make up, helping each other with it, trying to stay calm 32:40 MOVEMENT - Post Performance ritual