#‘I have three classes every day. why am I only remembering two’

[sweet-as-kiwis]

Plus side to having a boring class that only meets once a week: I only have to sit through two hours of Bullshit once

Downsides: I FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT THE CLASS IT STARTED 40 MINUTES AGO FUCK

[pupkashi]

cherry blossoms

part two of lights out | satoru doesn’t wanna leave you for the japan grand prix, so he flies you out to join him

a/n: hi hi !! here is part two to my f1 au !! this has taken me so long to write i hope you guys like please please please let me know what you think !!! i know the japan gp was so long ago i fell behind in sorry </3 ; lets just act like the plane rides and time zone shifts make sense thank u <3

wordcount - 7.1k

part one // part three // masterlist

LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO !

“so you’re going to japan in a couple days then?” you ask, sitting across from the white haired f1 driver, watching as he nods softly, taking one last bite from his steak.

“yeah, it’s my home race so I’m hoping it goes well” he smiles, it was obvious he was nervous for the race. you smile softly at him, “you’ll do great.”

it was like a bubble had engulfed the two of you after you first met, the chaos of the world and academia seemed to settle for the two weeks he had been in town.

“what do you have going on?” he asks you, hooked on what you’d reply with as the gears in his head turned.

“just classes, finally don’t have an exam this week” you cheer, looking up and seeing an unfamiliar look on satoru’s face.

“why don’t you come with me?” he asks, cerulean eyes gleaming at you. satoru is taken back when you laugh softly taking a casual sip from your water when your eyes land on his, stomach dropping when you realize he was serious.

“you’re serious? i can’t ditch classes for a week satoru” you laugh nervously, “i can’t even afford a plane ticket to Japan let alone a hotel and everything that comes with travel” you reason shaking your head.

“I’d pay for everything, don’t be stupid” he says quickly, “cmon just for the weekend then? you skip your Friday lecture all the time anyway what’s one more?”

you think for a second, biting your bottom lip and realizing you’ve only known this guy for the better half of a month. do things always move this quickly in relationships? you cant speak from experience, but before you think too long satoru is reaching across the table and taking your hand in his.

“it’s cherry blossom season and I’d want nothing more than to take you on a picnic under the beautiful trees” his cheeks are akin to those of the trees he mentioned and makes your stomach leap. “cmon you said it was on your bucket list didn’t you?”

you could feel your heart skip a beat, your face must’ve given away your surprise as he grins back at you. he remembered something you’d mentioned in passing? god he was making this harder than it should be.

when else would you get an expenses paid trip to japan and an f1 Grand Prix?

“i need to think about it” you say, his ears perk up and there’s a wide smile on his face that brings his dimples out.

“that’s not a no” he grins, you smile at him shaking your head.

“that’s not a yes either” you correct, squeezing his hand before letting go and finishing off your food.

he doesn’t bring it up for the rest of the night, instead appreciating every moment the two of you spend together, away from public eyes. satoru squeezes your hand a bit tighter, the sky a colorful painting of reds and oranges, a hue of pink blanketing the world around the two of you.

you sat in lecture on monday morning, only half paying attention to what your professor was talking about, messy notes on your tablet as your mind wandered.

what are the odds you miss something important on friday? satoru was right, you were already planning on skipping. satoru, you think, snowy hair and lashes to match, captivating blue eyes; what are the odds you come across him again?

who are you to fight against fate?

‘how much should i pack ? i am a chronic overpacker’ you type out, thumb hovering over the ‘send’ button before taking the leap and tapping it.

youre quick to put your phone on do not disturb and place it back in your pocket, figuring if you’re gonna miss lecture Friday you might as well take better notes now.

satoru was only half paying attention to what his manger was saying over the zoom call, chin resting in the palm of his hand as he listened. his phone lit up with your text, a wide smile immediately making its way onto his face as he grabbed it, reading your message.

“satoru are you paying attention?” his manager asks, slightly annoyed at the driver.

“media when we land, FIA wants me at the conference, tiktoks with george, a couple pre race interviews-” satoru continues to list off everything he’d been told perfectly, all while typing out a reply to you.

“oh could you book me a flight and an extra hotel room? I’m bringing someone this weekend” satoru grins, excited as his assistant nods yes.

satoru cheers, a bright smile into his camera as he waves goodbye to everyone and logs off the team call, finally settling on what to reply to you with.

‘pack as much as you want, I paid for a check in’

he can’t help but giggle, standing up from the table and flopping onto the hotel bed. satoru thought the image of the crushing schoolgirl was always an exaggeration, but the smile on his face and the swinging of his feet made him realize it was 100% true- and he was but a schoolgirl with a crush.

‘you already got me a flight?’

‘duh, wasn’t gonna risk you saying yes and me being unprepared :P’

you were trying your hardest to not smile, biting your lip and focusing on the music in your headphones. the suns rays beating down on you as you walked onto your bus, sitting near the back in case you did end up giggling at a message. (you failed miserably at hiding a smile.)

‘when does your flight leave?’

‘in an hour ish i think’

‘im headed to the airport now actually’

the two of you text the entirety of your bus ride and well after you get home. your phone rang after you’d set it down to focus on your work, satoru’s contact name flashing on the screen as you picked up the phone.

“hello?” you answered, a nervous laugh leaving your lips.

“hey! figured this is easier than texting so that you can do your work and stuff while we talk” satoru had a giant smile on his face, eyes looking out the window of the plane as he talked to you, “is that okay?” nervously bringing his bottom lip between his teeth.

“that’s perfect actually” you chuckle, “how was the airport?”

it didn’t feel like much time had passed since you answered the call, but as you looked out the window and how much work you’d gotten done you realized it been well over four hours. your eyes widened as you checked your phone as saw the length of the call

4:47:56

“oh my god it’s been almost five hours” you laugh, closing your laptop and putting it to charge. “unlike you i don’t have a flight attendant to give me food so” you trail off, realizing you’d forgotten to take out meat to thaw for dinner, takeout it is.

“alright alright, I’ll let you get back to life without me” satoru sighs dramatically, “have fun in the slow lane” he teases.

“oh please you’ll see me on friday” you laugh, “and i do not drive in the slow lane! you’re just used to going too fast in cars” you mumble, thankful he couldn’t see the wide smile on your face and the way you were playing with your hair.

the call went on for a bit longer, there was a pregnant pause between the two of you.

“I can’t wait to see you friday” satoru breathed out, staring at his lap before back out the plane window. everyone else on the small plane had fallen asleep already, trying to get a jump on the time zone shift. he should’ve been asleep hours ago, but he couldn’t bring himself to hang up on you.

“i can’t wait either, my second ever formula one race” you tease, “oh and you’ll be there too!” satoru rolls his eyes at you, smiling.

“haha very funny” his sarcastinf tone makes you grin.

“okay i seriously have to go now, let me know when you land?” you’re not sure of your words, it’s not like you were dating the guy.

“course i will, have a goodnight y/n” he says softly.

“goodnight satoru” you reply, a small smile on your face before hanging up. you’re stuck dumbfounded for a second, laughing before shaking your head, trying to get back to reality and not think about the tall, blue eyed man every moment possible.

lectures always seemed to drag on forever, but this week? eternal. especially on your final thursday lecture. had time always gone this slowly in class? your professors words were not the least bit interesting today, not compared to the thought of getting on a flight to japan for a Motorsport event.

not compared to hanging out with satoru again.

your fingers itched to text satoru, he’d been busy since he landed, with scarce texts sent your way. you didn’t want to seem too clingy, the thought of it scaring him away held you back from double texting him. he’d text you when he could, right?

finally lecture came to an end, you couldn’t help but breath a small sigh of relief as you packed your thing into you backpack and shuffled out with the rest of the class.

as if on cue your phone began to vibrate.

satoru

“hey” you smiled, pressing the phone closer to your ear as you tried to get out of the crowded hallway, going down the stairs and exiting out the side of the building.

“hey! is this a good time?” he asked, fiddling with the hotel duvet, the tv on as background noise.

“yeah i actually just got out of class- isn’t it night time over there?” you interrupt yourself, “shouldn’t you be getting eight hours of sleep or something?”

satoru can’t help but smile at your concern, “it’s only free practice tomorrow morning, just to get a feel of it all” he assures you, “what’re you up to?”

“heading to my bus stop actually! gonna get home and make sure I’ve got everything for my flight” you giggle, a little more bounce in your step as the time for your departure nears.

“do you need me to get you an Uber to the airport?” he questions, rubbing his burning eyes, refusing to give in to his exhaustion. just a couple more minutes, he told himself.

“nah my friend's dropping me off, but how am i getting to the hotel and stuff?” you’re beyond nervous for the whole trip, hands a bit sweaty just thinking about everything that could go wrong.

“I’ve got a driver picking you up, you might be tired so you don’t have to come to the free practices or anything, I’ll see you after they’re done, so maybe sometime in the afternoon” he replies, about to say something else when a yawn cuts him off.

“are you sleepy?” you ask, nearing your bus stop and internally cheering when an empty one arrives at the same time you do.

“just a bit, media was exhausting” he chuckles.

“why don’t you get some rest, we can talk all you want after i land” the words still don’t seem real to you, “you need to get sleep, satoru.”

“only because you keep insisting” he agrees, a dramatic tone in his voice that makes you smile. “goodnight y/n, can’t wait to see you tomorrow” he yawns as he speaks, eyes already fluttering shut.

“goodnight satoru, sweet dreams” you reply, biting back a grin as you hang up, your nerves at bay for now.

you should’ve known satoru booked you a first class seat, but you were still shocked when you sat down in the spacious seat.

‘how much did this ticket cost ????’

you didn’t expect a reply back, he was more than likely already at the race track getting ready for the first free practice.

‘don’t worry about price :) how’s the flight ?’

satoru had to be out in the garage in 30 minutes, his suit only half zipped as he sat in the room waiting for kento to come get him. he can’t help but think about you, how your flight was going, if you were regretting coming.

three sharp knocks on the door have him shooting you one last text ‘have to go :P’ before carelessly setting his phone on the counter and hastily putting the rest of his suit on.

“come in” he sing songs, knowing a familiar blonde headed man would be the one on the other side of the door. the door swings open only a moment after, kento giving satoru a small smile before stealing a piece of candy from his counter.

“you ready?” kento asks him, tossing satoru his gloves. “toto wants you to get a feel of the track, not pushing much this session” satoru nods at his words, following his friend out the door and into the bustling garage.

“alright let’s kick the weekend off!” satoru grins, grabbing his balaclava and helmet before putting them on and hopping behind the wheel.

you felt silly, really you felt like you were back in eighth grade and crushing on the star football player that everyone wanted. you especially felt silly asking you friend for their f1 tv login so you could watch the first free practice.

though satoru didn’t expect you to keep up with formula one and understand exactly how it worked, you’d figure if things were serious enough to fly you out to a different continent, you should at least understand what his greatest passion was. it was a rabbit hole you fell into one night, and multiple videos, google searches and questions to your friend later you had a basic understanding of the motorsport.

by the time you landed the second round of free practice was halfway underway, and as promised a driver was there to greet you and help with your bags.

“mr. gojo has arranged for you to have your own suite in the hotel,” the driver, ijichi, states. “however he has also asked me to give you a keycard to his room as well”, handing you two cards “in case you’d like to stay there instead.”

“oh thank you so much!” you exclaim, “I don’t have to check in or anything?” you ask, looking out the window in awe of the city around you.

“no, everything is set already” he says kindly, “and feel free to order anything for room service, if you’d like to go anywhere when he’s busy you can call my number” he hands you a small business card with a soft smile.

“oh wow thank you so much” you smile, “he really went all out huh.” ijichi smiles at you through the rearview mirror, nodding before focusing on the road again.

the hotel room was much larger and more expensive than you thought. you realized maybe you shouldn’t underestimate just how much money satoru had, and how willing he was to spend it on you.

curiosity got the best of you, setting your things down and walking into the hallway. the large window at the end of the hall caught your attention, your mouth falling agape when you saw just how close to the circuit you were. the cars seemed to fly on the track, and you found yourself looking for satoru’s. after a minute you headed back, finding his room and hesitantly putting the keycard up to the lock, heart racing when it actually unlocked the door.

satoru’s room was about the same as yours, and you could t help but snoop around. there were two beds in his room, whereas yours only had one. the notepad on the table has something written in it, you debated not reading it and minding your business. but you could only stop yourself for so long.

onigiri, strawberry sandos, chips?

the messy handwriting matched satoru's. was he thinking of foods to take on your picnic? the realization made your face heat up and your lips curl into a bashful smile. you stopped a giggle from leaving your lips, composing yourself before heading back to your own room.

your phone buzzed after a couple moments, speak of the devil.

‘just finished wrapping up, did you make it safe?’

you couldn’t stop a giggle from escaping this time, biting your bottom lip before typing out a reply.

‘yup !! just got to my room actually :3’

satoru smiled at his phone at your text, sending you a ‘see you soon then ;)’ before putting it in his pocket. as he exited the paddock a couple fans called out for him, making his step falter and head back to say hello, signing a few things before waving goodbye.

“good luck! we are all rooting for you!” one of them called out, he couldn’t help but smile widely, nodding before walking off. it hadn’t dawned on him really, the fact that it was his first ever home race in formula one. something he’d dreamed of since he first discovered the sport as a child.

he could feel his heart begin to race, hands getting a bit sweaty before he shook the thoughts out of his mind. he let his mind wander as he made the short walk to the hotel, catching himself grinning when he remembered you were waiting for him.

the soft knock on your door made your heart leap, unforeseen nerves surfacing as you thought about being face to face with the famed driver once again. a deep breath later you’re opening the door with a small smile, one that grows when satoru’s expression mirrors your own, growing in size upon seeing you.

“you really came” he breathes out, a relieved laugh leaving his mouth. “for a second i thought you were lying to me and had backed out” the admission made you gasp incredulously, smacking his arm and inviting him into your room.

“you wound me” you quipped back, “i wasn’t gonna leave you hanging, not after all the effort you’ve put into all this” your arms motioning to the room around you. satoru is glad his face a bit flushed from both the free practice and the walk here, or else you’d surely notice the prominent blush on his cheeks and ears.

“did you wanna go out today?” he asks, taking the liberty to sit on the edge of your bed, you’re quick to join him. despite having only known you for under a month, he could tell you were at odds as to what to say. “we can stay in, i know how exhausting flights can be.”

satoru’s toothy smile warmed your heart, his dimples seemed especially prominent today. you let your head rest on his shoulder letting out a small sigh.

“as much as i wanna go out and explore, yeah im exhausted” you chuckled. satoru couldn’t help but smile wider at the physical contact.

“how about we watch some movies and order in?” he suggests, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you down so the two of you were laying on your backs.

you turn to look at him, nodding your head as your eyes traced over his features. his hair was somehow still fluffy, blue eyes softly meeting yours. he couldn’t take his eyes off you, he didn't know someone could look as stunning as you do after a flight.

“sounds perfect” you whisper, eyes briefly landing on his lips before focusing back on his eyes.

satoru excused himself after ordering food, going to shower and change before coming back to your room to join you for the night.

it felt like the two of you were back in a bubble. just you and satoru getting to know each other, feelings growing after every exchanged glance and shared laugh. it didn’t feel like you’d met him three weeks ago, everything about him felt familiar. being with him felt safe, it felt right.

satoru felt it too, and it thrilled him. the warm feeling in his chest anytime he saw you, the way he couldn’t help but let his gaze linger on you a beat longer than normal.

it was during a stolen glance that the two of you caught each other, bursting into a fit of laughter before calming down.

“i thought you were watching the movie” you accused, tone playful as you look at satoru. he was leaning back on his arms, a charming smile on his lips as he cocked his head at your words.

“why should i? you aren’t watching it either” he shot back, smile never faltering as you crossed your arms over your chest.

“yes i am!” you defended, “you’re the one who keeps looking at me” satoru grins, leaning in a bit into your personal space.

satoru was confident and cocky when he wanted to be. but he was never one to make the first move, too scared to mess things up. it was the reason he hadn’t kissed you yet, despite having taken you out on multiple dates. with every centimeter he leaned closer, his heart rate rivaled the speed of it pounding in his chest during a race.

his face was only inches away from yours as he replied back, “too pretty to not look at.” the words have your face hot and heart pounding, your brain all over the place.

thankfully you didn’t have to think about what you wanted to do next. instead you bit the bullet and closed the space between the two of you, lips crashing onto his. satoru was quick to move a hand to cup your cheek, shifting it to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss after a moment.

you let your hands wander, tangling your fingers in his hair before traveling the expanse of his back and finding their way to his chest. pushing gently when you desperately needed a breath of fresh air.

even as you two pulled away your senses were consumed with him. you nose filled with the smell of his cologne and body wash mixed together, making your brain feel even fuzzier than it already was.

satoru was not much better, his mind in a haze as he tried to reel himself back in. the taste of your lips and the feeling of your hands on him stuck in his mind.

the end credits of the movie began to roll, causing the two of you to snap your heads to the screen before looking back at each other and laughing once more.

“i didn’t pay attention at all” you confessed, a shy smile on your face when satoru’s mouth dropped open.

“after you chewed me out for not paying attention!” he gasps, wrapping his arms around you and tackling you back onto the bed, “neither was i” he admits, laughing when you smack his chest.

there’s a moment of silence that blankets the room, a comfortable silence. it’s only broken by satoru’s phone buzzing, making him apologize and grabbing his phone to read the text notification.

suguru geto 11:37 pm

good luck tmrw

you take the opportunity to go to the restroom, coming back to find satoru laying on his back staring blankly at the ceiling. you’re quiet as you join him back in bed, laying next to him and glancing over at him.

“nerves?” you whisper, he gives you a convincing enough nod. satoru was not prepared to lay everything out for you, not tonight.

“first ever home race” he breathes in, sighing after a while before flipping to face you. “glad I’ve got you with me though” he grins. you blush, nodding your head before placing a chaste kiss to his lips.

the second movie was a failure as well, with both of you talking over it (and making out) the entire first half and falling asleep for the second half.

the next morning satoru is up before you, his eyes fluttering open and gaze settling on your sleeping form. he can’t describe the feeling in his chest, the feeling of waking up next to you. it’s something he wants to relive over and over again.

tomorrow, he decides. he’s asking you out tomorrow.

when you wake up there’s a note sitting on your nightstand. it’s satoru’s handwriting, written when he was still half asleep you assume from how messy it is.

left for free practice but I’ll see you at qualifying?? <3 :)

there’s a small doodle of a race car and two stick figures you can only assume are you and him. you can’t help but smile, folding the paper and putting it into your suitcase for safekeeping.

satoru feels good enough after the third free practice, getting out of the car with a smile. he’s quick to take his gear off, heading over to where kento was sitting to go over the strategy they had planned for qualifying.

you decide to head over to the paddock early, beating the crowds for qualifying so you don’t get lost or in the way. before long you’re in the Mercedes garage, with satoru’s assistant smiling at you and waving you over.

“satoru just went to the restroom but he’ll be back soon! you can wait here in his room” she opens the door and you thank her softly, looking around before taking a seat.

the door swings open, with satoru’s eyes seemings glowing with joy as he spots you.

“you’re here early! i didn’t think I’d see you until after qualis” he grins. you can’t help but be in awe of satoru in his racing suit, with the fireproofs hugging his body perfectly. as much as you try to not focus on how perfectly sculpted he is, you can’t keep your eyes off him. “hey now my eyes are up here” he teases, putting a finger underneath your chin and gently pushing it upwards.

“dunno what you’re talking about” you smile, “been looking at those pretty eyes this whole time.” satoru’s skin flushes, a smile on his lips before he’s pressing them onto yours, giggling into the kiss before pulling away.

“well now that you’re here do you want a tour?” you’re quick to nod yes, making his smile widen as he takes your hand in his and walks you out of the room.

satoru begins pointing and explaining everything, going into detail about more important things and how they contribute to the race. there’s movement all around you, with satoru speaking quite loudly so you can hear over the chaos of everyone prepping things before qualifying.

there’s a sparkle in his eye as he explains what the engineers do, his hands moving expressively as he looks at you, excited to see you’re paying attention to him still. “this is obviously the car, usually there’s more work being done around it but since we can’t make changes anymore it gets some time alone” he jokes, making you giggle as he takes your hand again, leading you out into the sunlight.

“so this is the pit lane, where the pit stops happen” he rambles on about pit stops for a second, pointing across the lane where the race engineers sit and explaining quickly how they communicate with him during the race.

satoru also explains to you what qualifying is all about, make it in the top 15 in Q1, then top 10 in Q2 then as best as you can in in Q3.

before long you’re wishing satoru luck, squeezing his hands and placing a kiss on his cheek. you head up to the seating area you’d been told and watch as he puts his helmet on before getting in the car, people surrounding him as they talk about god knows what.

soon enough he’s exiting the garage and into the pit lane, the first round of qualifying fast underway. he’s one of the last ones to set a time, landing himself in P14, a fact that made your palms sweat, knowing if he’d been a couple seconds slower he would’ve been out.

by the start of Q2 satoru pulls himself together, mind focusing only on the track and the car. he lands himself in P8, talking to the race engineers and tweaking his strategy to try and improve before the final round.

your fingers are crossed when he heads out for the final round of qualifying, bottom lip between your teeth as he pushes on his final attempt for a better starting position.

“and satoru gojo manages to land himself in P5! a rocky start to todays qualifying for the rookie but it seems as though he’s ready to take on his first ever home race” the commentator speaks.

you can’t help but cheer along with the others in the garage, beyond excited and proud of satoru as you join them outside to watch him pull into the assigned position.

it’s a sight to behold as he gets out of the car, pulling his baclava off his head with an open mouth smile. he finds you in the crowd almost instantly, winking at you before going to do his post race duties.

you wait for him in the garage, smiling when he finds you with a smile on his face.

“i told you you’d be amazing” you praise, letting him pull you into a hug despite being quite sweaty. “are you done for the day?”

satoru shakes his head, “not yet, I’ve got some media stuff and a debrief to go over data from right now” he sighs. “you can head back to the hotel and we can get dinner when I’m done?” he grins as you agree, saying goodbye to you before heading back into the garage.

true to his word satoru takes you out to dinner, treating you to only the best food as you two talk about anything and everything. you try and coax him into heading back early, but he refuses, taking your hand and pulling you through the city.

after two hours in the city satoru finally agreed to head back to the hotel, fingers interlocked with yours as you swung your arm back and forth with his.

“you’re nervous again” it comes out as more of a statement than a question. satoru sighs, staring at the sky while the two of you sit on a bench near the hotel.

“i don’t want to disappoint anyone, you know?” his voice is a bit shaky, “everyone has such high expectations of me because of how I’ve been doing and it’s getting to me a bit i guess” he changes his focus from a drifting cloud to picking at his nails, leg bouncing a bit.

“you’re going to do great out there” your hand makes its way to his thigh, squeezing reassuringly before taking his hands in yours. “and even if everything goes wrong and you get dead last you’ll still be my favorite driver,” satoru can’t help but smile, shaking his head and looking at you.

you end up staying in satoru’s room that night, despite your protests. he left you no choice when he grabbed your room keycard and held it above his head. you voiced your fear of getting in the way of whatever pre race rituals he does, to which he simply giggled and kissed you.

“i think cuddling can be a new pre race ritual of mine instead” he had replied, a coy smile on his face when you gave in and got into bed with him.

the next morning is a whirlwind as you head to the paddock with satoru. the two of you entering through a lesser used gate, one moment you were wishing him luck and kissing him on the cheek, the next he was already out of the garage and behind a Red Bull in the formation lap.

you help your breath as the five lights went out, watching on the edge of your seat as all 20 cars reacted quickly, fighting to get to the front.

“and the rookie tries to get the inside line on piastri but is unable to! pushed down to 7th place as alonso and norris over take him.” you let out a sigh as you listen to the commentator.

satoru stays in seventh for the better half of the race, managing to exit the pits before the mclaren in 6th and taking his spot. satoru is gains on alonso after a while, enabling DRS on a straight and managing to overtake him just before the turn.

a cheer erupts in the garage, with you nervously clapping as you stare at the monitor, a smile on your face as he fights to catch up to Ferrari ahead of him. soon enough he’s right behind him on a turn, pushing just enough to manage to get the inside line and successfully pass leclerc, putting himself in 4th place.

one more place for podium, you think. there was only a slight moment of peace when the standings were consistent for a good couple of laps, until satoru was close enough to 3rd to finally overtake them. the garage claps as he gained on the red bull in second place, with only a handful of laps left the chance of moving up a place was becoming slimmer.

“and we are in the final lap, with satoru gojo alarmingly close to Perez, could the rookie manage to snag second place in his first home race?”

“it seems like he might- he has DRS enabled and it pushing to pass Perez and he’s going to do it!” your mouth is agape in shock before you begin to cheer, smiling widely as he races by the checkered flag.

you can hear satoru cheering through the radio, the sound makes your heart grow warm. the entire garage is cheering, with everyone hugging each other and celebrating his success. everyone moves outside to greet satoru behind the barricades, with him throwing himself into his mechanics before even taking off his helmet.

when he finally does take his helmet off he’s looking for you, smiling widely when his blue eyes meet yours. he gets weighed and interviewed quickly, excitement over flowing as he answers questions with a giddy smile on his face the entire time.

as the podium ceremony begins you smile softly when satoru walks out, the crowd cheering loudly for their countryman as he waves. he finds you in the crowd again during the Dutch national anthem, sending you a wink as he claps when it ends.

the crowd cheers louder for him as he gets handed his trophy, holding it up proudly before setting it down as the celebratory music plays, being showered in champagne by the two Red Bull racers before he gets the chance to even pop his open.

when you see him again he’s pulling you in by the waist, smiling happily when you press your lips to his. he tastes like the champagne he was dripping in, the two of you are smiling into the kiss, giggling by the time you pull away.

“see? you had no reason to worry” you say, satoru smiles at you, his attention fully fixed on you. “my favorite driver” you grin, pressing another kiss to his cheek. it takes everything in him to not just ask you out then and there, not wanting to spend another moment with the thought of you never joining him again.

his name being called stops him, and he’s snapped back into reality.

“I’ve got some interviews i need to do and some stuff to make and film- but how does a picnic sound?” he asks.

“sounds perfect” you reply, “now go before they ban me for being too distracting” you push him softly, making him laugh before he’s giving you one last kiss, heading over to the social media coordinator.

it’s astounding to you the difference in demeanor satoru has now, sitting next to you atop a picnic blanket, compared to how he was during the race. the usual sure footed and confident formula one driver is gone, replaced by a nervous and bashful version of him.

“thank you for bringing me” you say, ending the beat of silence. “and thank you for the food too, it was really good,” you smile, relieved to see satoru smile back at you, slowly growing in confidence once again.

“i did tell you the convenience store was the right move” he quips, nudging your shoulder with his own.

“convenient, some would even say” you retort, giggling when he rolls his eyes and acts as if he’s scooting away from you. “you fly me out to japan just to scoot away from me?” you gasp, your lips turning upwards when satoru turns his back to you with a smile. “you know i think max might be my favorite driver” you say, laughing when he immediately snaps to face you with furrowed brows and a scowl on his face.

“that is so not fair!” he cries out, tackling you with a hug that causes both of you to fall backwards on the blanket. “take it back! say I’m your favorite!” he can’t help the smile on his face while he’s looking at you, hair a mess against the blanket.

“okay, okay you’re still my favorite driver” you admit, biting back a smile when you see how much his face lights up at your words. the spring breeze hits the two of you as you sit back up, cherry blossom petals falling around the two of you against a sky painted pinks and reds to match.

“i really like you” satoru blurts out, his gaze switching between his fidgeting hands and your face. you’re tempted to make a witty remark, something about you’d hope so after three week, but you hold your tongue.

“i didn’t think I’d find something serious, i wasn’t really- it wasn’t something high on my priority list you know?” he lets out a breathy laugh. “i told myself i was only gonna focus on driving, getting better and being the best, no time for anything else, no distractions,” you’re watching him intently, trying to read his facial expression when he’s looking at you.

was he breaking up with you? or was he-

“but you’re not a distraction, and i want to make time for you” his blue eyes are locked on yours now, no hints of uncertainty in his voice as he continues. “i want to be with you more than anything else; be by your side, have you cheering me on and celebrating after you pass exams, be able to just talk with you” he smiles.

“will you be mine?” satoru finally asks.

there’s a million thoughts in your head as you process his words, hundreds of reasons why you should say yes and thousands of what if’s. what about his schedule? and how much he travels and time zones and stress and school and-

there’s another gust of wind that causes more cherry blossoms to fall from the sky, landing over the two of you. you can hear a bird singing and you wonder if the universe itself is rooting for the two of you. a blossom falls perfectly on your face, landing on your cheek, it makes you smile.

“yes” your cheeks hurt from the smile on your face as you wrapped your arms around him, “of course yes!”

satoru meets your gaze with equal happiness as his arms immediately wrapped around you, squeezing your tightly. he lets out a sigh of relief, a wide smile on his face as he peppers your face with kisses. the two of you radiate the epitome of romance as you’re in each others embrace, with hearts practically forming as the two of you look at each other.

the night is spent in each others arms, giggles and dumb conversations filling the hotel room until late into the night. silly anecdotes and surprisingly deep questions keep the two of you from falling asleep, even when you both admit to your eyes burning from exhaustion.

“i don’t wanna go to sleep yet” he whispers, “because then it’s less time with you before your flight” the sadness in his voice is evident, and your tone mirrors it when you respond.

“me either” you sigh, one hand brushing the snowy hair out his his eyes and exposing his forehead a bit, “but then we’re both going to exhausted tomorrow” a small smile on your lips when satoru chuckles softly.

“yeah you’re right” he yawns, scooting closer to you before speaking up, “still can’t believe i won.”

“second place in your first year driving is an insane win” you agree, “you’re so talented, I’m so proud of you.” the words hit closer to his heart than satoru anticipated, breath hitching n his throat as he quickly regains composure and smiles.

“oh that too” he nods, “but i was talking about you being my partner” even as he utters the sentence he can’t help but get giddy, heart flipping as he watches a smile fight its way into your lips.

“you’ve had a great day haven’t you?” you ask with a smile, laughing when he nods happily in response.

the next morning both of you are beyond exhausted, a consequence of sleeping a mere four hours. neither of you regret it, only laughing it off as the two of you pack your bags up.

satoru would be heading back to his house in Monaco for the by-week before heading to shanghai for the chinese grand prix. you’d be heading back to your apartment for university and trying to catch up on work you could’ve been doing the entire weekend; you don’t worry about that yet, not when you have a 6’3 formula one driver by your side as you head to the airport.

“you’ll call me when you land?” he asks, a pout on his lips despite your nodding. “I’m gonna miss you so much” he sighs, pulling you into him by the waist and crashing his lips to yours.

you pull away after a moment, chasing his lips with a quick peck before sighing. “me too” you frown, “but we’ll call and text right?” the thousands of what if’s flood your mind as you look up at him, eyes frantically searching his face.

“you’re gonna be annoyed of me texting you” he smiles, kissing your cheek and extending out his pinky, “i pinky promise to call and text.”

you smile widely at his gesture, linking your pinky with his and shaking it softly, “i pinky promise to call and text.” satoru beams down at you, kissing you one last time.

you had barely sat down at your gate when your phone buzzed, a bashful smile on your face as you read the notification.

satoru <3

‘hi :3’

two what if’s were loudest in your head as you typed out your responsed; what if it worked out? what if it really was meant to be?

taglist: @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags @fushironi @nineooooo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @gojoshooter @beautiful-is-boring @sweetheart-satoru @luna0713hunter @torusmochi @kentocalls @sadmonke @cactisjuice @thewondrousdreamer @beaniebaby12 @kenmacantakemeaway

[magewritesstories]

[ ᴊᴇꜱꜱ ᴍᴀʀɪᴀɴᴏ ] ᴍᴏᴛɪᴠᴀᴛɪᴏɴ

summary: Luke doesn’t understand where Jess’s sudden motivation to do well in school is coming from TW: none note: i love him sm, but it’s a pretty short fic

“I’m leaving!”

Luke looked up, astonished at the sight that greeted him. Jess stood in the doorway of the diner, with a book bag slung across his shoulder, headed towards the library.

This had been happening for about two weeks now. Every Wednesday at 15:45 on the dot his nephew— his school despising nephew— had been leaving to go to the Stars Hollow Library

The older brunet had made sure that he was actually going to the library and not off to Walmart to pick up some extra shifts.

Jess made his way across the townsquare towards the local library. Everyone who knew the boy in the slightest would know he had no business there— his habit of annotating books meant he couldn’t borrow any, and he despised the quiet— so why was Jess Mariano going to the Stars Hollow Library?

The answer was very simple; Jess had a crush.

You were always there. Sitting in a faraway corner, of the library, working on homework or reading for an assignment. 

A few weeks ago he’d gathered the courage to walk up to you when you were reading Wuthering Heights. He was surprised when you remembered him from your english and biology classes (mostly because he was rarely there.)

You were sitting in your usual spot when Jess arrived. It was a small wooden desk, with enough place for two people. The edges of the table were worn, just like the fabric of the pillows on the chairs. There was small yellow-light over the table that blinked every now and then.

The black-haired boy made his way over to the table, letting his bag fall onto the floor with a loud thump. 

The sudden sound made you look up from your math assignment, “Oh, Jess, hey,” You gave him a bright smile, “Didn’t think you were gonna make it today.”

“Oh please, I am nothing if not consistent,” He quipped as he tried to ignore the feeling of his heart hammering against his chest.

You rolled your eyes, “They only thing you’re consistent in is bailing, Mariano.” Jess shrugged, “Doesn’t really matter what it’s in, I am consistent.”

“I heard you missed the math quiz yesterday?” You asked, turning back to your homework, “And I missed you in english.”

The teen shrugged, grabbing his books, “I had some stuff to do.” You raised an eyebrow, “Stuff?”

“Yeah, stuff.”

“Well, you missed Ms Bledel handing out our assignment,” You continued. Another thing Jess loved about being around; you didn’t push too hard on things that weren’t your business.

You handed him a copy of your notes, “It’s a two person assignment, and since you weren’t there I made sure we were paired up— so you better not choose next week thursday to be consistent.”

Jess laughed, taking the papers, “I make no promises.”

It was a busy day in the diner when you stormed in. Jess was refilling Rory’s cup of coffee, when the bell rang and you shouted his name.

He looked up in surprise, along with Luke and Rory. “I got an A!” You shouted, running over to him. The black-haired boy wrapped his arms around you in surprise when you jumped towards him, “Thank you!”

You were referring to the fact that he’d helped you with the english assignment and you’d gotten an A for it— which was practically unachievable since Ms Bledel never gave A’s.

Jess rolled his eyes, hoping that the tinge of red on his cheeks wasn’t obvious, “It’s not a big deal,” He shrugged as you pulled away.

“It’s a huge deal,” You countered, “She never gives out A’s, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten an A for english in my life.”

Rory, who was watching the scene amusedly, nodded along, “Yeah, even I haven’t gotten an A in her class before.”

Having heard the commotion Luke walked over to the three teens, “I heard someone got an A?” You nodded, proudly holding up your’s and Jess’s copy of the assignment— bit with a red A on them.

“Oh this is so going on the fridge,” Luke smirked, which made the black-haired boy groan, “Please don’t...”

You giggled slightly at the scene in front of you, before realising you had other places to be. “I have to go,” You said, “But I’ll see you at the library tomorrow?”

That’s when it clicked in Luke’s head; the sudden motivation to do well in school had nothing to do with his threats of kicking Jess out if he failed, it was simple puppy love.

The brunet watched in amusement as his nephew’s eyes followed you all the way to the end of the street.

You had become Jess’s motivation.

word count → 782 words links → gilmore girls masterlist

[mia-can-yap-too]

synopsis:- Jean Kirstein is in love. You just think he's very supportive. It's been three years. Pray for him

warnings:- fluff, crack, sfw, groupchats and google docs, memes provided by connie, a lotta mentions of salted caramel lattes, yearning, longing, eren being a hater, not-so-good advice, two (2) mentions of horses cuz come on, its Jean

pairing:- Jean Kirstein x Fem!Reader

🌺:- special shoutout to @satorus-princess for helping me out with the coffee order cuz idk batshit about that. I hope Marco comes in your dreams and gives you life-changing head <3 also thank you to @jeonwiixard for beta reading, ily ho

divider credits to @uzmacchiato, header by me, do not steal

ACT I :- THE SIMP AWAKENS

Jean remembers exactly when he became a simp. 

June 16th. 4:28 pm. Exactly 36°C. 

His attire consisted of a band tee that stuck to his chest and some random bottoms he borrowed from Reiner. He was on the way back to his dorm after spending the day swimming with the others at Historia's. 

You were wearing a baby blue tank top and white shorts, ready to karate chop the fuck out of a vending machine.

It had eaten your dollar, and you stood in front of it like an exasperated god deciding whether to smite it. 

When Jean, stunned by either your chaotic rage or accidental beauty, offered you the ice-cold Red Bull he had been saving for later, you casually said, “Oh my God, are you an angel? Thanks, dude. I was about to go all WWE on this junk.” 

Perhaps it was your nonchalance (nonexistent) or maybe it was the way the evening sun shone down on you that made even the sweat on your forehead look otherworldly, but Jean fell. 

Emotionally. Spiritually. Metaphysically. Hard. 

And from that moment, Jean embarked on a soul-crushing, three-year-long campaign of flirtation, longing, and enough failed romantic attempts to qualify as a sitcom side character. 

He complimented you constantly, with the confused sincerity of a teenage boy who had just discovered poetry. “Y/n…are you a…chandelier? Because you light up my world. N-not that you would be one of those ugly chandeliers they have in motel lobbies or something. But like a good chandelier… a medieval one, you know?” 

You just snorted and replied, “L-O-L. You're so weird, man. You would make a great cashier, though!”

Jean died a little. 

Your friends noticed. Loudly.

Armin started a Google Doc titled ‘Jean's Emotional Spiral’. Everyone added regular live updates. 

Mikasa stared at you every time Jean flirted like she was watching a toddler walk into traffic. 

Sasha and Connie started hiding the ‘Jean X Y/n' ship shirts they had made. 

Eren and Reiner just laughed. 

Ymir deemed you a certified dumbass. She's planning on trademarking that. 

ACT II :- A DUMBASS GUIDE TO FLIRTING (by Jean) and a cameo by @satorus-princess 

But Jean was nothing if not stubborn. Jean doubled down. 

Every morning, he brought you coffee. Your exact order. A salted caramel latte. Exactly 3 pumps of syrup, any more or less and you would notice. Oat milk. And only half a cup of ice because you said, “Too much ice means less drink. And I like drink, thank you very much.” 

Hell, he even pays the local barista, Hazel, extra to make it before she takes any other orders.

Hazel is very happy with the extra pay. 

Anyway, you always just take the drink with a grateful grin and say, “Thanks, Jean. You're like my emotional support coffee machine!” 

Jean considered flinging himself off a balcony. Hazel doesn't mind the discredit. 

He also started absentmindedly sketching you during class. Except it wasn't absentminded.

He actually takes pride in the amount of attention he pays to get your hair right. 

One day, you flipped through his sketchbook and paused on a drawing of you on horseback, your hair flying like you were leading an army after a Titan. (Not that that would ever happen, of course. That's Erwin's job.)

“Why am I on a horse?” you asked. 

Jean blinked. “You're majestic. It's a metaphor.” 

You just patted his head like he was a particularly sensitive child. 

In a desperate attempt, he even said, and this is a real quote, “If I had to build a perfect person on Sims, it'd be you.” 

You nodded solemnly and replied, “I'd make you too! As the Sim who's the nice coworker!” 

Jean hit his head on the wall. 

Your friends tried to help. They really did. 

Armin cornered you in a room and spoke in a slow voice as if he were talking to a toddler. “Okay, Y/n, he may want to be more than friends with you. What comes after being friends?” 

It took you a minute to say, “Oh, I know!”

Everyone was hopeful.

Connie was screaming, “SHE FINALLY GOT IT!” 

Before you continued with, “Best friends! :)” 

All hope was lost. 

Historia suggested he fake-date the barista Hazel to make you jealous. 

Connie proposed memes with heinous captions like ‘I crave that poosay’. 

Marco advised him to switch to interpretive dance. 

Eren just… laughed, cuz he's a hater. 

Mikasa was the only one who said something normal. “Just tell her. Straight-forward. You can't go wrong with that.” 

ACT III :- CLOWN TO LOVER PIPELINE

Jean tried to take Mikasa's advice. The universe, however, was committed to making him suffer. 

His first attempt was in a library.

The two of you were taking a break after a gruesome study session. He leaned in close and said, “Hey, Y/n… I really need to tell you something…” 

You leaned back and whispered, “I swear if you fart right now, I'm dropping out.” 

The second attempt was at your birthday party. 

He handed you a carefully written letter somehow comparing you to both the moon and a raccoon. His literacy skills are unmatched. 

You read it. Blinked. Sniffed a little too. “This is so nice. Did you have something to drink already, though?” 

Third was via a meme. Connie's idea. He sent you an image with that one dilf smurf in the background captioned, “Would you love me if I were a worm?” 

Three minutes later, you answered, “You'd be the sexiest worm I've ever seen. Bros for life. 💪.” 

Jean spent the next three minutes screaming into a pillow. 

He was one poorly timed romcom montage away from snapping and writing slam poetry. 

The emotional support group chat created for him is now divided into two groups.

Team “She has GOT to be doing this on purpose” consisted of Historia, Connie, Ymir, Eren and Bertholdt. 

Everyone else was on Team “She's just THAT dense.” 

ACT IV :- THE REALIZATION

It all clicked when you overheard Jean talking to Mikasa in the kitchen. 

“I don't even care if she doesn't like me back,” he lied, voice all raw and dramatic as if he were aiming to get an Oscar. “I just want her to be happy. Even if it kills me.” 

You, crouched behind the fridge, had an emotional implosion. 

Wait… Was she you? Were you she???

Cue a full-on spiraling montage. 

Every compliment he ever gave replayed in your head with dramatic music and subtitles. 

You googled ‘how to tell if someone is in love with you and you've been blind since 2023.” It didn't help. 

You stared at your ceiling. 

You stared at your walls. 

You also stared at your mirror, cuz you're fine shyt. 

You kept looking at Jean's contact, hoping desperately to get a text or call from Tall, Employed and Feminist.

Realization hit you like a brick to the frontal lobe.

 You showed up to his house at 11:47 pm with two salted caramel lattes, courtesy of Hazel.

Jean opened the door with the dead-eyed look of someone who'd thought you were finally returning his sweatshirt. 

“So, like,” you began, eloquently, “If I hypothetically realized that you may be hypothetically into me and I may hypothetically be into you too, hypothetically, what would you say?” 

Jean blinked three times. 

It was finally happening.

Three long years. He couldn't afford to lose his cool just yet. 

“I would hypothetically kiss you so hard that time rewinds and my past self gives up sooner.” 

“Cool,” you said. Then you kissed him so hard the smoke detector went off. 

ACT V :- POST-KISS APOCALYPSE

The next morning, you soft-launched your relationship via Instagram story. 

The picture was of you, in Jean's hoodie, both of your legs tangled on his couch, his sketchbook on your lap. Captioned ‘plot twist:- he wasn't joking’.

Sasha called you. Screaming. 

Connie posted a Tiktok eulogy. 

Armin updated the Google Doc with a celebratory meme. 

The group chat became a shared grocery list. 

Eren hated from a corner. It was all so perfect. 

You and Jean became that couple. He called you ‘babe’ in increasingly ridiculous accents. You replied by stealing his clothes and turning his dorm into a nest of your socks. He's still drawing you with horses. Except now you also get a sword and lightning for special effects. 

At your six month ‘I guess we're dating now’ party, Connie raised a glass and said, “To the girl who missed every sign in the universe and the guy dumb enough to keep trying.”  

And that, is how Jean Kirstein became the ultimate simp. 

🌺:- bet you wish he was real rn huh 🫵🤣

masterlist

[raven-dor]

meddle about

in which james sirius potter is obessed with his girlfriend, and her hair

PAIRING: james sirius potter x reader

WARNINGS: making out, fluff, james is adorable, self esteem issues, slight arguing (slight angst), more making out

WORD COUNT: 2.1k

🎶 : meddle about - chase atlantic

AN: 🩵♥️💗 - i got THREE requests for James Sirius, two of them asking for the reader to have curly hair, so i thought i would just mash them all together!! I AM AWARE THAT THE GIRL IN THE GIF DOES NOT HAVE CURLY HAIR - there are not a lot of 'cute couple' gifs with girls that have curly hair, i apologize 😞

The urge to have an outburst of anger in the Great Hall at nine in the morning was becoming more and more appealing with every passing moment. Her hair did not cooperate with her this morning, and now that she was in public, she felt like everyone was staring at the ‘mess’ on her head. She tried to force it into a bun, but it seemed to have a mind of its own. She squeezed her eyes shut, clenching her fists. 

“Love?” 

She felt her heart squeeze, opening her eyes to see her loving boyfriend. “Jamie.” She almost sighed in relief before remembering how disgusting she felt. She winced; she was sure he was not enjoying the sight before him. “How are you?” 

“Fine. I think the better question is, how are you?” He sat beside her, even though they were not in the same house. It was practically routine by now, but it still made her blush whenever he did. “You seem tense.” 

“It’s nothing. I just-” She paused. Every time she brought it up to James, he told her she was beautiful and she had nothing to worry about. Sometimes, she wished he would be honest with her. She smiled, shaking her head. “It’s nothing.” 

He nodded but looked entirely unconvinced. “Splendid.” He grabbed a piece of toast, stuffing it in his mouth like a child. She laughed, shaking her head. “You look gorgeous this morning, have I told you?” 

She tried not to glare at him. “You have. This morning, when I left your room.” 

He smirked. “Why didn’t you wait for me?” 

“James, I had to do rounds. After all,” She spread jam on her toast a little too harshly. “I’m the one who assigned them.” 

He nodded sarcastically. “Being Head Girl is so difficult.” 

“It is.” She glared. “Thank you for acknowledging it. Just because you’re Head Boy does not mean you can-” He interrupted, kissing her out of nowhere. She sighed, her stomach fluttering. “James.” 

“Love.” He whispered. “You’re spiraling. I saw the light leave your eyes.” 

“No, I’m not.” She admonished him. “I’m just saying that you need to take your duties more seriously.” He smirked, and she shoved him away. “Don’t even think about saying it.” 

He held his hands up in mock surrender. “You know me so well.” 

She nodded, taking a bite of her toast. “Would I be a good girlfriend if I didn’t?” 

“I suppose not.” He kissed her cheek quickly. “Thank Godric you are.” 

Transfiguration made the hours feel like days, and she really wished that she had sat in the back at this moment. If she had, she could have taken a nap or, more importantly, made sure no one could see the back of her head. She let her head fall into her hands, groaning quietly. Roxanne leaned over, whispering. “You alright, babe?” 

“Roxie, if this class doesn’t end soon, I swear to Merlin…” She peeked out of her hands, staring at her friend. “I need you to be honest with me.” 

Roxanne nodded, knowing exactly where this was going. “Your hair looks fine. Do you honestly think I’d let you walk around with bad hair?” 

Y/N laughed. “Wouldn’t be the first time…” 

Roxanne rolled her eyes. “You need to let that go. It was five years ago.” 

She sat up, watching as Professor Nott went over the steps of becoming an Animagus, even though they had already learned this in third year. She laughed to herself, knowing that James and she had done the steps two years ago. 

It was the one and only time she had broken the law. So far. She could never tell what she would have to do for James; his pranks always bordered on illegal activity. 

Y/N spoke under her breath, leaning closer to Roxanne. “He’s staring at me, isn’t he?” 

Roxanne turned around as subtly as she could, nodding almost instantly. “When is he not?” 

“Honestly, if he spent as much time focusing in class as he spent on me, he’d be top of our year.” 

Roxanne laughed, causing half the class to look over at the girls. They sank into their seats, giggling lightly. A paper bird landed on her desk, and Y/N whipped around, glaring at her boyfriend. She shook her head, opening up the note. She blushed, Roxanne almost laughing again at her friend's reaction. 

You’re absolutely breathtaking. 

Broom closet after class? 

xx

Your secret admirer

She grabbed her quill, scribbling quickly. 

Don’t lie to me; that’ll get you nowhere.

And I won’t meet you in a broom closet, we’re not fourth years.

We have a room for a reason, Potter.

She sent it back, forcing herself to focus on the lesson.

That proved difficult. 

She felt like she was on fire. James always did this to her; he stared at her like she was his entire world, and she turned into mush. This was just one of those many times. As he trailed down her body, she tried to contain her gasps, her cheeks bright red. “Jamie, you’re going to kill me.”

He smirked, reaching back up to her lips, and kissed them passionately. “Well, we can’t have that, can we?” He played with her hair, and she groaned, shoving his hands away. He tilted his head, a curious look on his face. “What are you doing?” 

She nuzzled her face into his neck, whispering. “You’re going to ruin my hair.” 

He scoffed. “I don’t think I could ruin your hair; it’s perfect.” 

She rolled her eyes, shoving him away and standing up, walking over to the mirror. “Now I have to redo it. It looks like I’ve rolled in the grass.” 

He sat on his shoulders, watching as she fussed over her now ‘ruined’ hair. “And what’s wrong with that?” 

“It’s almost as if you find joy in making me look like a mess.” She scolded him. He rose an eyebrow, rolling off the bed and standing behind her. 

“You never look like a mess.” He wrapped a hand around her waist, pulling her in. Y/N glared but made no movement to pull away, relaxing from his touch. “You’re beautiful, and so is your hair-” 

“James…” 

“No matter what it looks like.” He said firmly, a chill running down her spine. He was never this serious with her, constantly slipping a joke into any conversation, even arguments. “I need you to stop saying that.” 

“It’s my hair, James.” She scoffed. “Now let me fix it before dinner.” 

He walked away, shaking his head. “Fine. But you should know that no one is looking at your hair and thinking it’s a mess. It’s just you.” 

She felt like her mother was reprimanding her. Embarrassed, she stalked back over to his bed, grabbed her wand, and walked out the door. He yelled after her. “Where are you off to?” 

She didn’t bother to turn around. “I have to go do my hair.” 

“Love-” The door slammed behind her, and James winced. He followed after, knocking on her door. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” 

She brushed her locks, her eyes tearing up with frustration. “Just go away.”

“Y/N…” 

“You don’t get it, James!” She screamed at her door. “You’re perfect.”

He felt his heart shatter, listening to her voice crack. “So are you.” 

“James…” She flopped onto her bed, her mascara staining her pillow. “I’ll be out for dinner; just let me be.” 

“I’m sorry.” He hadn’t meant to upset her; he just wanted to compliment her hair. He walked back to his room, shutting the door. What he hadn’t heard was his girlfriend sobbing even harder than before. 

Y/N stomped down the stairs, casting a beauty spell on herself so that her friends wouldn’t know she was crying over her hair yet again. She sat at her table, ignoring James’s worried looks. She smiled at her Lysander and Lorcan, who were looking at her suspiciously. “Hello, my favorite pair of twins.” 

Lorcan laughed. “Don’t tell Roxie that.” 

Lysander simply tilted his head. “Take the spell off.” 

Lorcan shook his head, mumbling. “Lys…” 

“Does James know?” Lysander ignored his twin. “You know he wouldn’t like-” 

“Drop it.” She glared. “I just want one second where I’m not thinking about how disgusting I look or how my hair lays.” She sighed. “Please.” 

“I’ll drop it.” Lysander lamented. “But you know he won’t. And I agree with him; you know that I do.” 

She mumbled, picking at her food. “I don’t point out all the things you obsess over.” 

“True, but it’s different. And you know it.” 

Lorcan winced once more, nudging his twin. “Stop.” 

“I think I’m going to eat in my room.” She stood up, smiling weakly. “I’ll see you around.” 

“Wait-” She walked away, and Lysander sighed. “She didn’t even bring any food with her.” 

Lorcan nodded. “I wouldn’t worry too much.” He pointed to the Gryffindor table toward James, who had made her a plate and was following after her. "He's got her."

She was sitting in their shared living room when he’d found her. Staring blankly at the fire, she had hardly acknowledged him when he’d walked in. He felt distraught seeing her so upset about something that he had never even thought about. She was gorgeous; he thought she knew that. 

“I brought you food. I saw you hadn’t eaten anything.” 

She didn’t look up at him. “Are you watching me now?” 

He smiled, sitting beside her. “I always watch you. Why wouldn’t I?” He nudged her, placing the plate of food on her lap. “You’re mesmerizing.” 

“Thanks for the food, Jamie.” She picked up the plate, scooping herself some shepherd's pie. “It smells delicious.” 

He leaned back, staring at the fire with her. “You’re scaring me.” 

“What have I done to scare you?” 

He leaned over, his eyes bearing into hers, and she felt a chill fall down her spine. He whispered. “You know what you’ve done.”  

She rolled her eyes. “Why does everyone keep saying that?” She stood up, bringing the food with her as she walked toward the stairs. “I’m fine.” 

“No, you’re not.” James pleaded. “You’re practically perfect, and you don’t see it.” 

“Stop!” She screamed. “I can handle compliments, but I can’t handle lying.” Crossing her arms, she broke, a tear slipping down her cheek. “Especially from you.” 

He stepped forward, his face serious. “I would never lie to you. Ever.” 

She scoffed, stepping back toward the stairs. “You’re lying to me right now.” 

“Y/N.” He grabbed her face in his hands. “I have never lied to you, and I’m not going to start now. You’re beautiful.” He leaned his forehead against hers. “It hurts me that you don’t think so.” 

“You’re too sweet.” She whispered. "I don't think I'm good for-"

He shook his head, placing a finger over her lips. “Don't finish that sentence.” He removed his finger, smiling lightly. “I need you to say it with me. Say you’re beautiful.”  

She shook her head, trying not to smile alongside him. It was hard; everything about him was so infectious. “No.” 

His eyes grew dark. “Say it.” 

She shook her head, giggling. “No, James.” 

He rose an eyebrow. “Last chance, love.” She tried to back away from him slowly, but he was fast; of course he was. He pulled her back to him, laughing at her feeble escape attempt. His hands fell to her waist, tickling her lightly. She cackled, almost dropping the food still in her hands. He grabbed the plate and sat it down on the table beside them. “Now, where were we?” 

She shook her head, trying to run up the stairs. “Please, don’t, Jamie!” 

He laughed as he chased after her. “Say it!” 

She shook her head, running into her room. “You can’t-” He grabbed her wrist, spinning her around. She gasped, her hands landing on his chest. “I-” 

He smirked, leaning down. “Say it.” 

She whined. “James.”

“Love.” He whined back. “I guess I’ll just have to make you believe it.” 

Her cheeks grew red instantly, and she smacked his chest, trying to get out of his hold. “James Sirius Potter!”

He laughed, following after her as she fell onto her bed. “What? What did I say?” He hovered over her form, his boyish grin full of mischief and love. “You’re beautiful.” He leaned down, kissing her neck. “Say it with me.” 

She hummed, trying not to give in. “I’m-” 

He nodded, kissing lower. “Yes?” 

“You’re being mean.” She squirmed under his touch. “This isn’t fair.” 

“You’re right.” He said in between kissing down her torso. “It’s unfair that my hot girlfriend thinks she’s some kind of troll.” He pulled himself back up to her lips, dangerously close to them. “Say it.” 

“I’m…” She gulped, whispering. “I’m beautiful.” 

He nodded, leaning down and kissing her until her lungs gave out. “Good. Now, let’s make you believe it.” 

taglist: @beebeechaos

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO JOIN!

[notdotspot]

Dp x Dc Phys 3001

Masterpost

This has been one of the longest nights in Tim’s whole life. Yes, he did recently stay awake for approximately seventy-two hours, but his brain was led by routine. He could function at the lowest amount to stay awake while still completing tasks. Tonight is different. He is constantly processing and analyzing Phantom’s every move. Jason may be an asshole, but he is still his brother. Aside from the intent watching, Tim did not realize how emotionally charged curing Jason would be. He should have known. He remembers how Bruce and Dick acted following Jason’s death. 

Casual physical contact is not out of the ordinary for their family. Fighting excluded, his siblings never minded squishing onto one coach, but the hug Dick pulled Jason into was different. Jason seemed totally relaxed and at home in his big brother’s arms. Tim used to see them close like this at galas and high-class events when they were younger. Jason picks his head up to Bruce, inviting him in. It did not take much for the rest of the family to descend upon Jason in a dog-pile of a group hug, Tim included. 

Released from their grip, Jason yawns loudly, “I see what you mean by exhaustion. I could sleep standing up.” 

Danny gave him a small smile, responding, “Yeah. You need some rest and there may still be more side effects. Be careful.” 

“I think all of you need some rest,” Bruce says. He is ushering Jason toward the elevator. Before they reach the door, Bruce turns around again. Tim can see the look in his eyes before he utters a word.

“Phantom. Uh, Danny. Do you have somewhere to sleep? Alfred could set up a guest room.”

“No need. I have an apartment.” 

“But it is two in the morning. Crime Alley is across the city.”

“Thank you. I do appreciate the offer but I am more comfortable there.”

“Well, let Alfred drive you. You must be tired.” Tim held himself back from shaking his head in disapproval. Bruce was trying to adopt another kid right in front of their faces. 

“I travel just below the speed of light.” Danny seemed to know what Bruce was doing. Tim almost laughed at the startled look on his dad’s face. Take that old man. 

“I will be back tomorrow to discuss blueprints for the purifier. Bye!” Then Danny disappeared into thin air. Bruce seemed to realize he was not gaining another child tonight and entered the elevator. Tim was so tired a second ago, but now he is awake with thoughts thrumming through his brain. 

He had almost been too caught up to notice some of the odd things Danny had said. Who is Frostbite? Who are the other colleagues he mentioned at the Bat Burger? Are those the people watching his back? What did Danny mean when he said Jason’s hair was something he had seen before? Why did he need the special blade? Who is Danny? Is he more than just a ghost? How powerful is he? Tim had so many questions. He could not lay in his bed. He had to get answers, so he crept down to the Batcomputer and began his research. 

He should not have been surprised how easy it was to find Danny. One online search of apartment leases under the name Danny and he got three hits in Crime Alley. Danny Fenton was the name. Tim could have laughed. Phantom and Fenton. He would have to be blind not to connect the dots. With a first and last name, finding the rest was child’s play. Danny Fenton is a student at Gotham University majoring in astrophysics and a minor in engineering. Tim even found his class schedule.

Wait. A college student? Danny did not look a day over thirteen. Double wait. How does Danny Fenton exist? Is he not dead? After a little more digging, Tim found Danny’s high school transcript and birth certificate. They almost looked real. Almost. Danny Fenton is a fake persona. Unfortunately for Tim, that means no social media or background to look into. The only place he can guarantee finding Danny Fenton is at his physics lecture in Garrett Hall at eight in the morning. Shit. That is in three hours. 

“Better get some sleep. Wow. Never thought I would say that.” Tim yawned, logging off of the Batcomputer and shuffling all the way back to his room.

✩✩✩

Finding the lecture hall was easy, but Tim could not recall the room number for the life of him. He spent the first fifteen minutes of investigation time looking for the class. 

“Do you need some help? All these rooms look the same,” a girl giggles. 

“Yes. I am looking for Physics three thousand one.”

“Second floor, first hallway. Room two-ten.”

“Thanks.” He rushed up the stairs two at a time. Turned left in the first hallway and walked to the end. He silently opened the door and sat in the back row, pulling out a notebook and taking notes to blend in. He should have gotten more sleep because the dark room, lit only by the soft glow of a projector, and the monotonous tone of the professor lulled him right to sleep.

“Tim.” He jolted awake. The lights that had been turned on burned his eyes and he could feel the imprint of his spiral notebook in his face. 

“Of course, you had to track me down. Come on. I need to grab food before my next lecture. You are paying.” Tim blinked the tiredness out of his eyes. He got up to follow Danny with haste. This Danny was different. Taller with brown hair and blue eyes. Tim realizes they look around the same age.

“I have seen you before. At the Bat Burger.” 

“Yeah. You were in my favorite seat, so I left.” Danny’s voice displays his clear annoyance.

“If I were not so pissed at you, I would probably be impressed, but I guess all of you Bats are little detectives.”

“Sh!”

“Oh, so secret identities only matter when it is you and your family?” Tim panics. Danny is right. He violated the unspoken code of heroes.

“But, I am an unknown, right? Dangerous? Even after I helped Jason and cooperated with the Lazarus Pit plans?”

“Okay! I am sorry. What I did was wrong. I got caught up in theories and research. I am sorry.” Danny grabbed a sandwich and drink from the cooler and went to the register. The worker scanned the items, and he stepped to the side motioning to the card reader. Tim took out his wallet, handing a ten-dollar bill off. He grabbed Danny’s food and walked to a table, not stopping to grab his change. Danny sat across from him to start eating.

“So, why do you look so old or should I say so young as Phantom?”

“Right to the questions, huh?”

“Sorry. You do not have to answer if you do not want to.” Danny appraised him while chewing on his sandwich. 

“It is fine. Phantom is only the ghost half of me. Well, more like three-quarters of me. The rest is human.” 

“How are you a human and a ghost?”

“Poor parenting and a lab accident,” he says, sipping his drink. Tim is shocked by his casual nature. 

“How old are you really?”

“Depends. My human side only ages in human realms, making me about nineteen, but I have been alive far longer than that. A millennia? Give or take a few decades.”

“A thousand years? How come Phantom looks thirteen?”

“Fourteen, actually. Ghosts look the way they did when they died, minus an odd circumstance here and there.”

“That is why you talked to Jason about death like you knew it personally.”

“I do.” He whips his hands of crumbs, slings his backpack over his shoulder, and grabs his drink.

“I also have another class. Throw my trash for me. See you tonight and get more sleep. You are useless to me if you are too tired to read a blueprint.”

✩✩✩

Danny landed on the doorstep of Wayne Manor, letting the white rings of his transformation reveal his civilian clothes. He rang the doorbell and waited for an answer. Alfred answered the door politely.

“Hello, may I help you with anything?” Danny thought Alfred would recognize him as a human but it seems he was wrong.

“Um. I am here to see Tim.” Tim would be the only one to recognize him. Does he look that different? Just then, Steph was passing through the foyer.

“Who is here, Alfred?” Her head peaked past the butler. Her eyes lit up seeing him.

“Oh my god! The cute guy from the Bat Burger! Come in! We can go find Tim together.” She interlocks their arms to lead him into the mansion. This mansion has much more style than Vlad’s. Less dingy too. 

“How do you know I am here to see Tim?” She gives him a sidelong look, her smile widening further. Danny blushes at the implication and she giggles. She pushes open the door leading him into a room. 

“Tim,” she sing-songs.

“Steph, I am busy with WE reports. Can you wait a moment?”

“Someone is here to see you,” she responds, dragging out the end of her sentence in a teasing manner. Tim’s head turns slowly, his eyes still tracking his laptop screen as he types. When his eyes finally snap to Danny, they widen and he flips back around to his screen. Steph holds in a laugh as he vigorously types. Quickly finishing his report, he shuts down and closes the computer. Popping up from his chair, Tim puts on his best smile and strides over to him.

“Danny. I will show you to the cave.” He can see Steph’s demeanor change in an instant. She turns Danny to face her, examining his face.

“Danny? You look human. How did you age overnight?”

“Uh.”

“Steph, leave him alone. He can explain later. Right now, we can bring him to the cave. Bruce is probably already down there waiting for Phantom to show up. Why did you use the front door?” 

“I figured you had already told them about my identity. Either way, I know all of yours, so it is only fair.” They seem to take his answer, and Tim opens the door for him to exit the room. The journey down to the cave was longer than he expected. Getting to the elevator shaft and riding down probably took close to ten minutes.

“Is there not a more efficient way to get to the Batcave?”

“We have thought of other options but this one is good enough for the time being. Secure too.”

“Plus, B rejected Dick’s idea to add a firepole,” Steph tacks on. She leads the group into the main area Danny was in last night. He never did get the time to admire the Batcomputer for the glorious machinery it is. He would love to see its capabilities. 

Jason is parking his bike and removing his red helmet when they walk in. 

“Is Danny here, yet?”

“Yep,” Danny speaks up. Bruce finally turns to see the group walking toward him.

“Oh, I thought it was just Steph and Tim.” He can tell Bruce is taking in the change in appearance.

“Danny,” Jason calls, “You look significantly less ghost-like.”

“Uh, thank you?”

“Danny is your real name, then?”

“Yeah, so is Phantom. Are we going to get to work?”

“Yes,” Bruce speaks up. “Tell us the plan.”

Danny slipped the backpack off of his shoulder and pulled out a binder. Laying it on the table in the middle of the room, he takes out each blueprint to unfold them. 

“There are multiple components to my plan. This,” he points to a paper, “is the design for the ectoplasm purifier.” He bends down to his bag again. He produces a gadget that looks like the sketch.

“I made a prototype and tested it on a few samples I had in the fridge.” Bruce gives him a look.

“In the fridge?”

“Yeah, it is like an energy drink. I stock up once a month. Caffeine is insufficient and I have homework to get done.”

“Homework?”

“Tim, really did not tell you?”

“Danny, here, is a student at Gotham University,” Tim states.

“Yes, where Tim so gratuitously tracked me down this morning,” Danny quips. Tim looks embarrassed with his family's eyes on him.

“I said sorry.”

“And bought me lunch. Oh, before you ask, yes. I am older than fourteen. My ghost form just looks that way.”

“You are a human and a ghost? Like Jason?” Steph’s genuine curiosity stops Danny from yelling angrily at getting off track. He forgot these people do not know the ghost world or him. He has never had to answer this many questions about himself since Jazz found out he was Phantom. It is a solemn thought that makes him miss her even more. He has had centuries to mourn, likely more with the Ghost Zone to human realm time difference, but he just misses his big sister. Steph’s enthusiasm reminds him of her. He signs, resigning to the fact that he will have to explain himself. 

“I am a Halfa. Half human and half ghost. I would not say it is half, more like a quarter human. Jason and I are not the same. I died under entirely different circumstances.” He could feel the looks of pity burning into him. One part of him hates it, but the other part of him is grateful for the understanding. Sam, Tucker, and Jazz took a long time to realize he was only Phantom because he had died in the accident. Truthfully, he was so caught up in fighting ghosts that he almost did not realize it himself. 

“I am okay. I have had many years to come to terms with it. Let us get back to this.” He pointed at the table. Their attention was back on the project, but he would still sense their sad eyes. Jason especially looked heartbroken. Maybe he was realizing why Danny knew how to comfort him. 

“The prototype was effective, but we will need to scale it up. The next problem to solve is getting the processed ectoplasm into the Ghost Zone. There are only three ways to access the Ghost Zone: occasionally successful summoning rituals, naturally occurring rips, or a homemade ghost portal. It would take too long to find a ritual that actually works, so that is out. Finding natural portals is next to impossible without the Infi-Map. I will not endanger it by bringing it here, nor would the rip last long enough to complete the mission. A mechanical ghost portal is the best option, but once you open it, it is a two-way street. We could make an off-switch, but even a few seconds is enough for ghosts to slip through. I have not figured out a way to get around that. My only idea would be magic.”

“We can Zeta in some magic users. They may have the knowledge to assist you on the more ghostly aspects.”

“Thank you, Bruce.” 

“Well, later nerds. All this shit goes right over my head. Call me if you need to change a tire.” Jason turns to the elevator.

“I will go to. I am useless when it comes to this.” Steph jogs off the catch Jason, waving as the elevator door closes.

“Where is the blueprint for the ghost portal?” Tim inquires as he flips through the pages on the table.

“Up here.” Danny points to his head. “That knowledge is far more powerful than you think it is. I trust you, but not that much. It is my responsibility to keep the Ghost Zone safe.”

“But-”

“Tim,” Bruce cuts him off, “you can work on the purifier instead. Danny, can you build the portal from memory?”

“Yes.”

“I will go make some calls. When do you think it will be done?”

“A few days if I have all of the materials and work long hours.”

“And, I can finish the purifier quickly too. The blueprint is well drawn, and with the prototype, I should have no problem recreating the effectiveness.”

“I will leave you two to work.” Bruce turned, pulling his phone from his pocket, walking off to make his calls. 

Tim gives Danny a quick tour of the equipment and tools.

“How much space will you need?”

“I should be able to build the portal here. I will make it as small as I can while preserving functionality.”

“What is so dangerous about it anyway? Aside from opening a gateway for enemies. You seem a lot more scared of this thing than you are telling us.”

“It is unstable. I have tried to fix other versions of it, but I can never guarantee the safety of the operator. You guys are mortal and this portal has consequences I would never wish upon anyone. My parents were reckless. I can not be responsible for an accident.”

“That is what you meant when you said poor parenting and a lab accident. A ghost portal is what made you Phantom.”

“I have to hand it to you. You are sharp. Get to work. It will take you at least a few hours to construct the filter.”

For once, Tim got the hint to stop pushing into Danny’s past. They both descend into their work silently. Working well into the night before Tim yawns.

“Go get some sleep. You have made good progress.”

“Do you not need sleep?”

“Not really no. Do you want to head upstairs, or should I just put you to sleep? I have to warn you. Your neck will be sore if I knock you out in the chair like that.” Tim’s eyes widen.

“Is that something you are capable of?”

“Do you want to find out?” Danny raised a hand, making it glow green. Tim shoots up and walks to the elevator. Danny watches as the doors begin to close.

“Goodnight, Tim.” Tim smiles and opens his mouth to respond, but the closing doors cut him off. 

As his alarm rings, Danny is proud of himself. He got the whole frame built. All he has left is the wiring and the ectoplasm circulation system. The elevator door opens behind him. He turns to see Dick strolling in. He is dressed in workout gear with a protein shake, humming a tune. He stops in his tracks when he notices Danny. 

“Who are you? Better yet, how did you get in here?”

“Dick. I am Danny. I am also going to be late for class, so bye.” He transforms into Phantom right in front of Dick. If it were not for his enhanced senses, he would not have heard Dick’s shocked whisper.

“Woah.” 

Then, he is shooting off to his Astronomy class. 

-----

more romance coming eventually

aside from that, this is the first chapter I actually proofread

Thanks for reading!

[novascharms]

MY STRANGE ADDICTION - RAFE CAMERON

dealer! rafe cameron x maddy perez

Maddy Perez has never been addicted to drugs—nor will she ever be. Her only addiction is the campus dealer she just can't seem to shake off and no matter how hard she tries to break free, she keeps getting pulled back into his orbit.

masterlist  w.c — 800 c.w — none a.n — choosing to continue this cause i got two free weeks and like lots of ideas abt these two for someee reason. lets ignore that rafe would actually off himself if he had to deal with maddy hihi :)

how rafe usually grovels for forgiveness <3

Maddy rested her head on BB's shoulder, her half-lidded eyes fixed on the professor’s projected computer screen, though none of the words actually registered. She hadn’t been in the lecture hall for more than five minutes and already regretted letting Kat convince her to drag herself out of bed for this stupid 8 AM class.

“Coffee’s not cutting it anymore,” Cassie grumbled, sliding into the seat next to Maddy and BB at the far back of the room. “At this point, I need caffeine intravenously.”

Maddy groaned, her voice muffled by exhaustion. “I could kill Kat.” Her eyes flicked around the lecture hall. Students were still filing in, with about seven minutes left before the lecture started, but there was no sign of Kat.

“She better show up,” Maddy muttered, her voice edged with irritation. “Or I swear to God—”

“How does Lexi do this every single day?” BB cut in, cracking open a can of Red Bull and taking a long sip.

“She’s insane,” Cassie replied flatly, leaning back in her seat.

“She’s just more disciplined than we’ll ever be,” came Kat’s chipper voice from the aisle. She appeared with her usual infuriatingly bright smile, the kind that made Maddy’s scowl deepen. ��That’s why she got into a way better school than us.”

Maddy crossed her legs, pulling out her phone with a dramatic yawn. She began scrolling through her notifications aimlessly, barely registering anything on the screen.

“Oh my God, I love your nails!” Cassie tilted her head to get a closer look, admiring the tiny rhinestones glinting against Maddy’s polished tips.

“Thank youuuu,” Maddy sang, holding up her hand to admire them herself.

“Didn’t you just get a new set?” Kat asked, her brow furrowing as she leaned in for a better look.

“Yeah,” Maddy replied with a casual nod. “Got sick of them.”

Kat’s eyes narrowed. “Isn’t this, like, your third new set this month?”

Maddy paused to think, “Hmm, I think so, yeah.”

The girls stared at her as if she’d just sprouted a second head.

“Is your nail tech that affordable? Put me on.” BB asked, incredulous.

Maddy raised a brow. “Oh, God no. She charges a ton, but I can’t cheat on her. My cuticles have never been better. Plus, the last girl butchered my nails so bad I was bleeding.”

“I remember that,” Kat said, scrunching her nose in sympathy.

Cassie frowned, clearly doing the math in her head. “Wait…you can afford three sets a month?”

Maddy shook her head, not even looking up from her phone. “Rafe pays for them.”

A stunned silence fell over the group. All three girls exchanged wide-eyed glances. Maddy hadn’t so much as mentioned Rafe’s name since the last party, and they were approaching the one-month mark that usually ended their no-contact period. Everyone had been holding their breath, waiting to see if she’d relapse on him.

“I thought you stopped talking to him,” Kat ventured cautiously.

“I’m not talking to him.”

“And you’re not…you know.” Cassie gave her a pointed look, laced with judgment.

Maddy shot her a sharp glare. “I’m not fucking him either.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” BB leaned forward, her voice incredulous. “He’s paying for your shit, and you’re not even putting out?” Her voice carried loud enough that half the lecture hall turned to look at them.

“Bitch, shut up!” Kat hissed, shoving her.

BB grimaced and lowered her voice. “How the hell did you manage that?”

Maddy leaned back in her seat, folding her arms. “He’s groveling,” she said simply, her tone dripping with disdain.

The silence from her friends was deafening, forcing her to elaborate. “I’m not answering his calls or texts. He’s trying to…apologize.” She wrinkled her nose like the word itself offended her.

“You thought I was just paying for all that takeout?” Maddy asked, turning to Cassie with an arched brow.

Cassie’s eyes widened in realization. “Wait, he’s been sending all that food? I thought you were just being nice!”

Maddy snorted. “Have you met me?” She opened her banking app and held her phone up for them to see. A long list of direct deposits from Rafe filled the screen.

“And that doesn’t even include the food and the random packages he keeps sending to our dorm,” Maddy added as she turned off her phone.

BB stared at the phone, her expression one of mock despair. “God, when is it my turn?” she muttered, looking heavenward.

Kat laughed, shaking her head. “You don’t even believe in God.”

“Well, I’m starting now,” BB said, gesturing dramatically toward Maddy. “Because clearly, He’s real.”

Kat turned back to Maddy. “So…are you gonna see him again?”

Before Maddy could respond, her phone buzzed with a new message. She glanced down at the screen, her lips curving into an amused smile as she read it.

“Mm, maybe,” she said, her tone light and nonchalant. But the glint in her eye said everything her words didn't.

masterlist

[imusticaniwill]

A Beautiful Story of Life

Shared with me by a friend.

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know.

I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me

with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?”

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze.

“Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.

She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…”

“No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

“I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the

next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine” as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us.

She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.”

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old.

If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.

Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.”

She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.”

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

“We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.”

[moon-and2saturn]

Talk

s.f.k. x f.reader

a/n: this was meant to be a short little one shot but it actually turned out to be pretty long... oops. it’s only lightly proofread and i’m posting this at 2:30 am so i hope it’s good. enjoy :)

word count: 5.3k

summary: You’ve known Sam practically your whole life, and your relationship has always been the same. He’s your best friend, and he’s never given you a reason to think he feels any other way. So why is he acting so different tonight? Your love for him has so far gone unspoken, but all secrets are about to be revealed.

warnings: fluff, angst (some fighting & yelling), swearing, smoking, kissing, shameless nicknames like always; SMUT (MINORS DNI): oral sex (m & f receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v sex (practice safe sex, folks!), dirty talk, some begging, slight praise kink if you squint, soft dom!sammy

“imagine being loved by me.

i won’t deny i’ve got in my mind now,

all things i would do.”

You’ve known Sam as long as you can remember. You’ll never forget the first time you met him. It was the first day of the seventh grade, you had just moved to Frankenmuth that summer from Detroit after your parents split up and your mom wanted to move out of the city. You’d only lived there for a month and your house was pretty secluded on a long road, so you didn’t have much ability to make any friends until you started school.

You were riding your bike to school and someone crossed the street right in front of you, forcing you to slam on your brakes to avoid hitting them and knocking them down. You came to a screeching stop and looked up at the scared boy in front of you, who hollered, “Are you trying to kill me? What the hell is wrong with you?” You got off your bike and the two of you walked the rest of the way to school together. And that’s how you met your first friend, Sam Kiszka.

The two of you have been pretty much inseparable ever since. You had a lot of classes together and he let you sit at his table at lunch, introducing you to his best friend, Danny. From that moment forward, the three of you did practically everything together. You guys would go to the movies, listen to records, and sometimes even jam together in the Kiszkas’ garage with his older brothers, Josh and Jake. You always felt that the rest of them were much more musically talented than you, especially Jake, but you enjoyed singing harmony with Josh every once in a while. You were like family.

Once you got older, you noticed your relationship with Sam began to change. Not in a way that was obvious or disruptive, but there was something that developed that would always be on the back of your mind- your feelings for Sam. You first discovered that you had feelings for him at your ninth-grade homecoming dance. You and Sam went together as friends, slightly organized by your mothers, and something in the air changed that night. There was a knock at the door after you had gotten ready and you opened it to see Sam, all dressed up in a suit and tie.

Your gaze softened as you saw him, and you felt a feeling that you’d never experienced before. When he saw you, in your dress and your hair done, you noticed an expression on his face that you couldn’t quite place, like a deer in headlights. And then he entered the threshold, brushing off whatever it was, acting just like your normal Sam. You put it in the back of your mind and moved on with your night.

However, near the end of the night, something happened that you’d never be able to forget. They turned on the last slow dance of the evening and the two of you had avoided every other slow dance prior out of awkwardness. But something pushed you to ask him for this last song, so you did and he agreed. You both walked over to the dance floor and he placed his hands awkwardly on your waist as you put your arms around his neck. You both swayed there for a while to some random slow song from that year that you couldn’t remember now even if you tried, and there was a look in his eyes that would be burned into your memory forever. He looked at you so softly, like you might break. You looked up at him- his cute swoopy hair, his dimples, his dopey smile- and you knew right there and then: you were in love with Sam Kiszka.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*.・゜゜・✩ ✦ ✩・゜゜・．*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Things are a lot different now than they were when you were 15, but your feelings for him are just as strong as ever. He’s never shown any hints of feeling the same way, however, and you’ve never made any effort to tell him. You’re much too afraid of it changing your relationship, especially if he didn’t feel the same way about you. You’re more than happy with what you have with him now, though, even if it’s only platonic. He’s your best friend and you love the time that you get to spend with him, considering it’s quite limited now.

When you guys were in high school, the band that the boys had formed ended up gaining popularity. Even before you, Sam and Danny graduated, they were going out on tour, opening for big bands. You were incredibly impressed and so proud of them, but you definitely missed your best friends. Once you graduated, they were away even more than before. So, when they all wanted to pick up everything and move to Nashville a few years ago, you decided that you would too.

You had delayed going to college for a couple of years because you couldn’t afford it at the time and neither could your mom, so you used this new opportunity to apply to Tennessee State University in the area and you were accepted. You’re in your third year there now and it’s been working out great. You got an apartment not far from where the guys were all living, and that’s how you met your roommate and now close friend, Lucy. She is attending graduate school at Vanderbilt for the same field of study and shares your immense love for music, so you got along almost immediately.

The guys’ band has become relatively famous now. They’ve recently released their third album and have gone on several tours, their current one being a world tour. You haven’t been able to see them as much lately because of it, but you try to catch as many local shows as you can. Despite being away so often, you and Sam are still as close as ever, spending basically every day together when he’s on break from the tour. Every once in a while, you’ll sometimes wonder about the ‘what-ifs,’ but your friendship with Sam is too important to risk by confessing your feelings for him.

Tomorrow is Lucy’s 24th birthday and the band is on a break from tour for a few more weeks, so the two of you are throwing a huge party tonight to celebrate. Your apartment is much too small to host that many people, so Josh offered to host the party as long as you both helped out with supplying the food and decorations. Of course, Josh was more than happy to supply the booze, being someone who would never turn down a party. It’s your last big get-together before the band leaves for the European leg of their tour, so you’re all really looking forward to it.

It's already 3 in the afternoon and you and Lucy have to go over to Josh’s soon to help decorate before all the guests arrive, so you start to get ready. You curl your hair and pull it half-up, then put on some simple makeup with some silver glittery eyeshadow. Lucy wanted to make the theme of the party “Starcatcher” to incorporate the guys’ newest album, so you wanted to throw in a subtle reference to the theme. You go to get dressed, finding the new dress that you had bought just for the party. It’s a short, tight dress adorned with silver glitter, matching your makeup.

It’s not as if you intended to catch anyone’s attention tonight with your outfit, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing. You’ve tried dating since you moved to Nashville, but nothing has ever worked out. All of the guys are either shallow musicians who don’t want to ‘put a label on it’ or immature frat guys with no emotional intelligence. Besides, you still find it hard to completely forget about Sam. You know that he’s probably taking plenty of girls home while on tour; as a rockstar, why would he not? It didn’t bother you, it’s not like he knew how you felt anyway.

You grab your things, then slip on your heels and pop your head into Lucy’s bedroom. “Hey Luce, you ready to go?” you ask, stepping inside of her room. She turns around from looking into her vanity mirror to look at you. “Oh my god, Y/N! Look at you! Sam is gonna die over that dress,” she says, teasing you. She knows all about your little crush, of course, you tell her everything. She’s the only one in your friend group who knows since the rest of the guys wouldn’t possibly be able to keep that kind of secret.

“Luce, come on. You know he doesn’t look at me like that,” you answer, rolling your eyes, “Plus, maybe I’ll find another guy to appreciate me tonight. I don’t need it to be Sam, I don’t expect it to be.” She rolls her eyes back at you and turns her attention back to the mirror. “Okay, okay, whatever. I’m just finishing up my eyeliner, we can leave in a minute,” she says. She finishes up her makeup and you both head to the party.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*.・゜゜・✩ ✦ ✩・゜゜・．*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Lucy drives you to Josh’s place and the two of you pull into his driveway, seeing that you’re not the first ones there. You knock on the front door and are greeted by Josh, whose face lights up at the sight of you. “Hello, darling!” he exclaims, pulling you in for a tight hug. He pulls away, smiling, and sees Lucy behind you. “Ah, Lucille, happiest of birthdays to you, my dear,” he says to her, hugging her tight as well. You both enter the house and find Jake in the kitchen, preparing some sort of dip recipe.

“I thought that we’d be the first to arrive,” you say to him, making him turn his attention away from the stove. He sees you both and smiles slightly, saying “Well, it wouldn’t be a party if I didn’t make a queso dip, would it?” You chuckle, walking over to get a whiff of it. “No, it wouldn’t. Smells delicious,” you say, patting him on the back then turning around to place all the snacks that you’ve brought on the kitchen island. You all start to set up, putting out the snacks and alcohol and hanging some decorations on the walls.

Around 6 o’clock, the front door flies open with Sam and Danny waltzing through. You all turn your heads to look at the sudden noise and your eyes find him. He’s wearing a short-sleeved button-up, half unbuttoned, some dark jeans, and sneakers. You watch as he removes his sunglasses and brushes his hands through his hair as he and Danny approach the kitchen, then try to direct your attention back to hanging the star decorations that you’d been attaching to the ceiling.

“Hey, Freckles,” Sam says, walking into the kitchen to greet you. He’s called you that ever since that first day, on your first walk to school. He looked down at you and saw your face, completely covered in freckles, and settled the nickname right then and there. It’s still managed to stick after all these years. "Hi, Y/N! Hi, Lucy, happy birthday," Danny says, walking into the kitchen and sitting down at the table to help blow up some balloons.

“Here, let me help you,” Sam says, reaching his hand up to meet yours and finish hanging the star. “Thanks, Sammy,” you say, stepping down from the step ladder you were using. “No Rose tonight?” you ask, looking up at him. “Nah. Didn’t want her to get too drunk, she was absolutely belligerent last time,” he said, laughing as he jabbed your side with his elbow jokingly. You giggle and say, “Yeah, she’s out of control. You should probably look into that.” He smiles at you silently for a moment, looking down at what you’re wearing. It’s not long enough for you to notice, however, and you move on to helping Josh with the liquor table.

You finish decorating and the guests begin to arrive around 8. Most of them are Lucy’s friends from grad school, as well as some friends from work. You don’t really know a lot of them, so you’ve just stuck with the guys by the bar area of Josh’s dining room for most of the night so far. “Here you go, Frecks” Sam says, handing you another tequila soda that he’s made for you. You thank him and take a sip, then look out at the crowd that’s amassed in Josh’s living room.

It’s been over an hour now since the party started and you still feel slightly awkward since you don’t know any of the people here, but you don’t really want to just be a wallflower all night either. Suddenly, Lucy comes charging toward you. She’s gotten a bit intoxicated, having made some drinks while you all prepared for the party in addition to the ones she’s had since then.

“Babe, c’mere, I want you to meet my friends,” she says, pulling you away. You look at Sam and Danny with a ‘please save me’ face as she drags you into the crowd, hearing them laugh at you as you move further and further away from them. You end up in a small group over on the other side of the room, a few girls your age and a guy that you don’t recognize. “Y/N, these are some of my friends from my classes this semester- Tara, Emma, and Stephen. Everyone, this is my roommate and bestie, Y/N!” You wave shyly and say hello, catching eyes with her friend Stephen.

He’s pretty tall and has dark black hair that’s slicked back with a couple of pieces hanging out in the front. His eyes are dark and mysterious, and you can’t help but admit that he’s rather handsome. You doubt anything could ever come to it, but it might be nice to distract yourself from your one-sided feelings for Sam. Lucy goes back into whatever conversation she was having previously with the girls as Stephen steps closer to you.

“Hey,” you say, looking up at him with a shy smile. “Hey there,” he replies, checking you out quickly before meeting your eyes again. “Do you go to school around here?” he asks. “Oh, yeah, I’m in my undergrad at TSU. I’m a couple years behind but I’m starting to catch up,” you say, sitting down on the couch as he goes to sit next to you, rather close. He makes small talk about what you’re studying, where you’re from, what you want to do after graduation, and more. He’s definitely a nice guy, and he seems interested in you and learning more about you, so you don’t mind sitting and talking to him.

“You’re gorgeous, you know,” Stephen says, smiling at you and reaching over to brush some of your hair behind your ear. “Thank you, Stephen… you’re not too bad yourself,” you say, blushing slightly as he places his other hand on your thigh. The two of you sit there for some time talking closely, flirting a bit back and forth. You glance over to the dining room for a moment and see Sam, who’s looking at you. He’s leaning up against the wall, arms crossed with his eyes glued to you and Stephen, piercing right through you. He looks almost angry, which you don’t completely understand. Maybe he’s upset that you ditched him since he doesn’t know many people at the party? But he has Danny right next to him, who’s talking away as Sam stares daggers into you.

“Excuse me just one moment, Stephen. I have to go check on something,” you say apologetically, getting up off the couch and heading into the other room. Sam’s eyes lock onto yours as you approach, still not faltering from their angry gaze. “Sam? A word, please?...,” you say, looking over at Danny, “…alone?” Sam looks down at you and uncrosses his arms, “Yeah, whatever.” You grab his wrist and drag him into the kitchen, then out the back door to Josh’s porch.

You drop his wrist and turn around to face him as he reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes, sticking one in his mouth and lighting it. He takes a long pull, breathes it out, then scoffs. “What? What is it?” he says in an annoyed tone. “What is it? Sam, what’s wrong with you? I saw you looking at me in there, what the hell is your problem?” you say, throwing your hands up, exasperated. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? You just met that guy and he was just all over you. It’s fucking gross,” he says, raising his voice at you slightly and rolling his eyes, taking another puff of his cigarette.

“So what if I just met the guy? Why does that matter? He was really nice, I wanted to talk to him! It’s not like I was gonna be over there all night, I was going to come back over to you guys.” you say defensively, crossing your arms and looking up at him, waiting for an answer. He runs his fingers through his hair frustratedly, “Frecks, he so clearly wanted to sleep with you! He probably doesn’t even actually care about you, he just wants to get laid! He’d never treat you right.” He takes another drag of his cigarette and then sighs.

“Why do you even care, Sam? Am I not allowed to talk to guys? Is that it? Am I supposed to just follow you around like a little lost puppy all night? It’s fucking pathetic!” you yell, your eyes starting to well up. “No, Frecks, God! That’s not what I’m saying! But I can’t just stand around and watch some guy flirt with you right in front of my face! It’s making me fucking crazy!” he says, putting his head in his hands and shaking his head. “Sam. Look at me,” you say, looking up at him, tears starting to fall down your cheeks slowly.

His gaze softens as he looks down at you, then he throws his cigarette on the ground and steps on it to put it out as he steps closer to you. You look up at him, glossy-eyed, waiting for some sort of explanation for why he was acting like this. Sam never gets angry with you, you don’t understand what’s gotten into him. He keeps his eyes locked on yours as he gets closer to you and suddenly, he raises his hand to cup your cheek and pulls you in, kissing you. At first, it’s soft, his lips feel warm to the touch as you kiss him back, his thumb caressing your cheek affectionately. Then he deepens it, pulling you into him with his other hand on your waist and smiling against your lips.

It grows to become ravenous and uncontrollable, and you start to struggle to breathe. He turns you both around and backs you into the outer wall of Josh’s house as he teases his tongue into your mouth. You welcome it, moaning into his mouth as you deepen the kiss even more. Both of your hands are on the back of his neck, tangled in his long hair, pulling him closer to you. You suddenly feel very aware of where you are and remember all the people inside, so you pull your mouth off of him, still staying close. “Sam, the party,” you say, looking up to meet his eyes.

“Fuck the party. Let’s go, c’mon,” he says, grabbing your hand and dragging you through the backyard gate, around the house to the driveway, avoiding the crowd inside. You giggle at the situation, feeling like a couple of teenagers, then ask “But what about Danny?” You both stop at his car and he looks down at you. “He’ll just stay at Josh’s tonight,” he says, smirking, “I’ll text him, don’t worry about him, honey…” He holds your waist and pulls you in for another kiss before opening the door for you, letting you into the passenger seat. He rounds the car and gets into the driver’s side, starts the car, and pulls out of the driveway.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*.・゜゜・✩ ✦ ✩・゜゜・．*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The drive to Sam’s place is short but also agonizingly long at the same time. He keeps a steady hold on your inner thigh as he drives, keeping his eyes on the road. Occasionally, he rubs his thumb lightly, sending shivers down your spine. Never in a million years did you think you would be here, with him. It was something you only imagined, but you never thought that Sam would want you like this. It warrants a conversation, but you can worry about that later.

Sam pulls into his driveway, puts the car in park, and then rushes to get out and open your door for you. You get out of the car and his lips are already attacking you, putting his hands on your hips as he backs you up toward his front door. He drops your lips for a moment to unlock the door, opens it, and then drags you in with him, closing it and shutting it behind you. You both kick off your shoes and then he swiftly brings you to his bedroom upstairs.

You’ve been to Sam’s house hundreds of times, but this time felt different. As you enter his room it almost feels like the first time, giving you butterflies as he pulls you into him, taking your lips in his. He lays you down on the bed as he continues to kiss you, making his way across your jaw and then down your neck. You lean upwards into his touch, wanting more. His lips feel electric on your neck, sending shockwaves through your entire body and creating friction between your legs.

He pulls back for a moment and slides his finger under the strap of your dress. “Can I…?” he asks, looking down at you for permission. You nod and you watch him as he slides the straps of your dress down your arms, leaving it bunched above your waist and freeing your uncovered breasts, as you couldn’t wear a bra underneath. “Fuck,” you hear him mutter under his breath before he leans back down, taking one of your nipples into your mouth as he holds the other in his hand, squeezing it, making you whine. He moans against your skin and then leans back to unbutton his shirt, throws it to the side, and then slides your dress the rest of the way off, past your legs.

He kisses his way down your stomach, to your hip, and then your inner thigh. You writhe slightly under his touch, barely able to contain yourself from his teasing. You’re insanely aroused now after all of the kissing and feeling his hands on you, you don’t feel like you can wait anymore. “Sammy, please,” you whine, his eyes looking up at you deviously. “Don’t worry, honey. It’s okay, I’m gonna take care of you,” he answers, his voice sounding so smooth that you feel closer to the edge just from hearing it. He slowly slides your panties down your legs, tossing them onto the floor.

He kisses your inner thigh once again as he spreads your legs a bit more. “Y/N, you are so beautiful… You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about all of the things that I want to do to you…” he says before lowering his mouth onto your aching pussy. Your back arches at the feeling of his mouth on you. His movements are slow and gentle, his tongue circling your clit slowly as his hand rubs your thigh softly. He runs his tongue swiftly through your folds, making you moan quietly before returning to your sensitive bud. You’re already so close from all of the anticipation when you feel his fingers on you before he dips one of them inside of you. He uses steady movements, curling his finger into you as he brings you closer and closer to your release. “Fuck, Sammy, that feels so good,” you whine out to him and he moans against you.

His tongue starts to speed up as he pushes a second finger into you, pumping them in and out of you relentlessly. You clench around them and he removes his mouth from you for a moment and says “Come on, honey. I know you’re close, give it to me. Want it so bad,” then goes back to attacking your clit. His smooth voice combined with his movements inside of you bring you right into a crashing orgasm, arching your back as it washes over you. After you come down from it, he removes his fingers from you and climbs back on top of you.

He slips his hand behind your neck and kisses you passionately, slipping his tongue into your mouth as you taste yourself on it. You moan into his mouth and he pulls away, saying “You taste so sweet, baby. Did you taste it? Isn’t it sweet?” You nod and smile weakly at him, still in a bit of a trance. You lean forward to sit up and kiss him again, reaching your hand down to grasp at his hardened cock through his jeans. You start pulling the zipper down and he leans away from you to get off of the bed and remove them.

Sam gets off of the bed and slips his jeans down his legs, stepping out of them and palming himself lightly over his briefs. He then tucks his fingers underneath the waistline and pulls his underwear down, revealing himself to you for the first time. Your jaw drops at the sight, he is much bigger than you had ever imagined. You’d thought that it might be big considering that he’s tall, but this is much more than you expected. He immediately sees your reaction, chuckling a bit and taking your hands to bring you off the bed to stand up with him.

“Surprised, Frecks?” he says, laughing a bit. “I don’t wanna hurt you, honey. You think you can take it?” he asks, looking down at you with a smirk. You just nod before lowering yourself to your knees and taking him in your hand. Given your small stature, your hand can barely even fit all the way around it. You look up at him as you lean up to lick the tip lightly. You watch as he leans his head back, groaning and mumbles some expletives under his breath. You slip the head into your mouth and work your way as far to the back of your throat as you can go.

You start to move, bobbing your head up and down his shaft as you hold it with one hand and grasp his thigh with the other. He reaches his hand down and places his hand in your hair, holding your head as you continue your movements. You swirl your tongue around him and begin to rub your thighs together to relieve some tension, but he’s had enough. “Uh-uh, nope. If you keep going like this, I’m gonna come right there in your mouth,” he utters, using his hand in your hair to take you off of him and bring your face up to his. “I want you, Sammy. So bad,” you say, looking up at him, begging him with your eyes. “Honey, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted you,” he answers, leaning you back down on the bed.

He kisses you slowly, holding your cheek in his right hand as he uses his left to line himself up with you. He pulls away, his face just a few inches from yours. “I’ll be gentle, okay baby? You tell me if it hurts at all, and I’ll stop,” he says softly. He leans his forehead against yours as he slides the tip in, eliciting a soft whine from your mouth. He pulls out slightly and then pushes back in, just a bit more, easing you into it. “Fuck, honey, you’re so tight. Relax for me, okay? I’ve got you.” He does this same thing a few more times, easing in a little further until you’ve adjusted enough for him to push in to the hilt. He lets out a deep groan, lighting your insides on fire as you pull him close to you, kissing his lips harshly.

He kisses you back hard, moving his hand from your cheek to grasp the hair at the back of your neck as he pulls you into him. His other hand is firmly planted on your hip, holding you still underneath him. He begins to pull out slowly, slamming back in once, making you whine into his mouth. He starts a steady pace, pulling out and slamming into you over and over again. Your hands are grasping at his back, surely scratching it up to the point where it will leave a mark. “Harder, Sammy, please,” you whine, feeling him smile against your lips. “Can you handle that, baby?” he says, smirking. You nod ferociously, “Yes, please, please.”

He pulls out of you, causing you to whine at the loss of the feeling of him inside you, then swiftly flips you over onto your stomach. His hand goes under you, pulling you up to your hands and knees, while the other lines himself up with you once again, slipping in with ease. You both moan as he places a hand on the small of your back, pushing you down slightly as the other grips your waist. He sets a faster pace, slamming into you so hard that your head starts to spin. “You like that, honey? That hard enough for you?” he asks, relentlessly pounding into you. You mutter a string of yeses, unable to focus on what comes out of your mouth.

The hand previously on your waist moves down to your clit, moving in tight circles as he continues to fuck into you repeatedly from behind. “That’s it, baby, that’s it. Give me another one, all over my cock. I know it feels so good,” he grunts as he brings you to another climax. His pace inside you never slows as he fucks you through your second orgasm, uttering words of encouragement as you come down from it. You can tell he’s close now, his hips faltering a bit. “Mmm, fuck honey. I’m so close, where can I-?” he asks, as you interrupt him before he can finish his sentence. “Inside, Sammy. Please, I need it so bad, wanna feel you,” you whine, causing him to throw his head back and moan at the idea of it.

He pulls out and flips you back over, then quickly slides right back into you. “Wanna look at you when I come, baby. Wanna see your face as I fill you up. Fuck, you feel so good,” he groans, unable to hold back anymore. He thrusts inside you a few more times before he reaches his own climax, pulling you in for a long, hard kiss. He whimpers against your lips as he finishes, coating your insides completely. His hands are holding your face affectionately as he pulls away from you, looking at you like you’re his whole world. He pulls himself out of you, still hovering over you, his eyes trained on yours.

“I love you, Y/N,” he says. He rubs his thumb on your cheek, looking down at you. “I love you too, Sammy. So much. I always have,” you say, smiling up at him. He pulls you in for another kiss, smiling against your lips and letting out a sigh. “You’re everything to me, Freckles. Everything.” He kisses your lips again lightly before taking your hand and helping you out of the bed, bringing you to the bathroom to clean up. You both take a shower, wash everything off, and then return to his bed.

You settle into bed, laying your head on top of his chest, breathing him in. His hands play with your hair as you wrap your arms around him, nestling in. “Goodnight, Sammy,” you say, sighing into him as you shut your eyes. “Goodnight, my love,” he answers, placing a kiss on the top of your head before drifting off to sleep, feeling the happiest he’s ever felt.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*.・゜゜・✩ ✦ ✩・゜゜・．*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[floridaboiler]

source - https://twitter.com/CalltoActivism

I absolutely love this story…….. It made me cry.

"An 87 Year Old College Student Named Rose The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know.

I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?”

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze. “Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.

She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…”

“No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

“I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me. After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine” as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us.

She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.”

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success.

1) You have to laugh and find humor every day.

2) You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!

3) There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old.

If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older.

That doesn’t take any talent or ability.

The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.

4) Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.”

She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they’ll really enjoy it!

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

We make a Living by what we get,

[whorediaries-09]

so you pack your life away

pairing- sirius black x auror!reader warning(s)- hurt/comfort. a/n- for the story's worth, reader was in gryffindor.

little train. series masterlist.

you crossed your leg over the other, stretching out your limbs. sirius handed you an ice cream before he sat down beside you on the park bench. the night had fallen, but somewhere within the quiet revering silence amongst the chilly breeze and sirius' presence made you lose your presence of mind, which further resulted in losing the track of time.

yet, it was nice to actually have company apart from your colleagues. also somebody who you remembered being a part of your youth.

'if you don't mind sirius, why are you wandering about here? i mean don't you want to rewind in the wizarding world?' sirius took a bite of his ice cream sandwich before answering you.

'i mean, the press is after me. i don't exactly want rita skeeter rushing about in the daily prophets. we all know how she is. i also read the recent articles she wrote about you, and save you, you've been absolutely crushed by her.'

'we all know how rita skeeter is,' you chuckled. sirius shook his head, agreeing with you, letting out a bark like laughter into the wind. it ruffled with his hair, tousling them. suddenly, he felt a pang tug at his throat.

'i wouldn't be here without you, i'm so grateful for you.' he said, taking your hand into his. your hand melted into his warm, rough and calloused touch. you nodded, staring into his deep gray eyes. the sparkle of life had been enlightened into the true sirius black gaze. and from within, you felt it slowly burning your heart. slow, calm and tepid. but you let it.

you let him escape his quiet treason.

'i told you, sirius, i stand for true justice. i believed in you. dumbledore betrayed you, i know.'

sirius felt his eyes pool with unshed tears as you talked to him softly, treating him like a person, not a deranged criminal. the voices in his head screamed horribly shrill and loud, as he escaped his quiet treason, and into your arms.

'how did you know it was not me? there have been countless prisoners with no trial. why me and not them?' the moment sirius spilled those words from his lips, you knew you'd been doomed. while you had been expecting the question at some point of time, you didn't know the time would come so soon.

'sirius, i was with you at hogwarts.'

'what! i don't remember you being there! and for what it's worth...you look younger than me...'

'you don't remember me because i am three years younger than you. so naturally, we never shared any classes. but what we did have in common was the quidditch team. i was on the quidditch team. i'm not sure if you remember, however i still owe my beater's skills to your teaching. you taught me a few significant steps and tricks.' sirius awkwardly glanced at your face, bubbling with curiousty.

'i remember your group- the marauders. the pranks, the mischief each and every one of you caught up. significantly, i remember remus. he used to tutor me, since i'd gotten too distracted with quidditch. he was quiet and seemingly timid, but i sensed their was some sort of mischief behind his facade. james who was the better one between the two them, at transfiguration sometimes joined. i think mcgonagall never asked james to tutor me because she knew he had a very low attention span. he was always fidgeting with the snitch. although i do think for the most part, james went to the library to solely woo lily.' sirius silently laughed, letting the words consume him. he noticed you'd carefully dodged their other friend, peter.

'and what about me? do you only remember me being your mentor at being a beater?'

'of course not, sirius. i remember a lot of things about you. especially about you, actually because i could never go a day without hearing your name. my friend had a huge crush on you and she wouldn't go a day without talking about you.' sirius grinned, sparing his sparkly white teeth.

'is that so? did that annoy you?'

'it did annoy me sometimes yes, but who didn't have a huge crush on sirius black at hogwarts? everybody had the hots for you back then. my friend initially became jealous when she learnt that you had been teaching me, so i decided to keep myself away from you and not be more than a sort of teacher and student. and a few days later, she asked you out and you declined because she was too young. and the feelings disappeared like poof.'

he laughed heartily at your articulate description. 'i also remember in my second year, something became very grave within your group. after a few years, the news broke that you had escaped and walburga black had disowned you. we never knew where you went, but by grace, i had guessed that you were staying at james'. the point is, you two were like two peas in a pod, almost like brothers. which told me everything i needed to know. you didn't kill him, no you couldn't. so, while studying the trial less cases for my examinations, yours was the most recent and the most deranged- and the most unjustified. i had my mind made up the moment went through it, that you deserved the freedom.'

he bit his lower lip, carefully sliding his front row of teeth upon his lower lip.

'you don't know me yet you did so much for me, i can never thank you enough.'

'you packed your life to move into a shit hole even when you didn't deserve it. if you think you owe me something, no you don't. the ministry owes you, sirius. the years of youth and mourning they snatched away from you, keeping you bound to a prison. you'd escaped one when as a child, but they tied you down again. the prejudiced fuckers will never understand the things you went through.' sirius felt the tears escape as you strengthened your grasp around his hand. you were spewing anger, hot and boiling which brimmed at the edge of your patience. you clenched your jaw as the silent breeze struck into his hair.

sirius wanted to calm you down. while he wasn't sure how to, he awkwardly moved closer to you, so his knee was brushing with yours. he freed his hand and cradled your face into his clasp.

'thank you,' he whispered, 'can i hug you?' he said, desperate to comfort you. more than you, perhaps he wanted to feel your touch - the same touch that had calmed him down during the trial. the same touch that had made him feel safe after being touch starved for so long. you nodded. his arms wrapped around your body, engulfing you into his warm, comforting embrace. your crumbled body within his arms felt like the serene touches of maa on his scalp as she rubbed coconut oil.

he had packed up his life, and for a fortnight, he thought he'd acquired the freedom he had ruined his life for. he had allowed the joys to relish him in warmth.

but when your arms wrapped around his body, pulling him closer, he felt a sliver of hope to unpack his life.

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original idea posted by - @lilwnet

taglist - @reggieisfit @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @jamespottergf @eternallybipanicking @fictional-magic @iamgayforyourmom1510

taglist (for series) - @urbansaint

(if you want to be tagged please send a request through my inbox.)

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[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #44

previous // next // story index

—————

Victor

I am stoked!

Big competition coming up in three days, and I’m so ready for it. I mean, I’m ready for every competition, but this one’s super exciting not just because it’s a qualifier for the national championship, but because it’s here in Matsumori. All my friends are going to be there to watch, and of course Yuri will be there. I love it when he’s able to come and see me compete.

A lot of boarders talk about Kodak courage, where they feel braver and more confident when somebody’s taking pictures or videos of them, but for me it’s the knowledge that somebody I love is cheering me on. I have plenty of confidence on my own, but having Yuri there helps me feel more calm. It was the same back home whenever Mom came to see me compete. I always did better, knowing she was somewhere in the crowd.

I’ve been training every day since the amateur competition a couple weeks ago, and I’ve been doing yoga every second day instead of going to the gym. Yoga is great because Yuri likes it and it’s not too difficult for him, so we can work out together. Sometimes he just sits nearby and supervises me, though. He says he enjoys the show. I don’t think it’s much of a performance. I think he just likes looking at my muscles.

Anyway, I guess you’ve probably figured out that this isn’t going to be much of an update. I just needed to record something as a way to empty out my brain. Yuri says I’m way too energetic and I know he’s right, but sometimes it’s difficult for me to settle down, especially when I’m really looking forward to something awesome.

In case you thought getting ready for the competition was all about me, let me tell you a little bit about what Elsa’s been up to. Naturally, she’s on the mountain with me every day. That goes without saying. She’s absolutely a performer, and I love her. She’s the best gift anyone has ever given me.

If you don’t know or don’t remember how me and Elsa became a team, I’ll tell you about it.

It was at the beginning of last summer, and Yuri and I had a lot of stuff going on. We got evicted from our house down in the valley just as my mom was planning to come for a visit, and while all this was taking place, Yuri was up for a promotion at his job. Mom did come for that visit, and we moved to our current house in Kiyosaka which we’re renting from Yuri’s uncle, and Yuri got his promotion.

Part of the reason why he got promoted is because he managed to secure a really important client for the public relations firm he works for. The client was none other than Snowy Peak Sports Equipment, maker of excellent snowboards, among other things. Yuri’s boss, Mr. Tanaka, told him that he’d get a bonus if they landed the Snowy Peak account, and his bonus turned out to be a certain amount of credit to purchase any Snowy Peak products he wanted.

I didn’t know about that at the time. I thought the bonus was going to be actual money. Needless to say, I was totally shocked when I got home from work one day and saw the awesome surprise Yuri had waiting for me. The credit was large enough to get two pro-class snowboards, one for himself and one for me.

My jaw just about hit the floor when I saw Elsa for the first time. She was exactly the board I’d been dreaming about for months, the one that I looked at on the company’s website nearly every day.

I could hardly wait to get out on the mountain with her, but it was raining on the day we met and it rained for three days straight after that.

By the time the rain stopped and the weekend rolled around, I think Yuri was at his wits’ end with me. Fortunately, we were able to go out that Saturday for an adventure. Otherwise, I think me and Elsa would’ve both been sleeping on the couch because Yuri wouldn’t have been able to put up with my hyperactivity and general nonsense any more.

Practising together is only one component of training. Bonding is also important. Some people probably think I’m out of my mind, but I feel like Elsa isn’t just a tool or a piece of equipment. She might not be a living creature, but there’s some kind of spirit inside her, some essence that makes her a champion. My old board, Silver Storm, was like that. He had that mysterious energy, too. I’ve ridden other boards that don’t give off the same vibe, and with some boards, I don’t feel anything at all.

Sometimes I read or watch TV with Elsa. Currently, I’m reading a book about the history of snowboarding. I’m not very good at reading, but I know I have to keep practicing, so I try to get books that I find interesting. I like history, travel books, stuff about health and wellness, and biographies of famous athletes.

I’m not really supposed to have Elsa on my bed, but sometimes I sneak her into my room and do it anyway. Unfortunately, I’m pretty bad at being sneaky and Yuri usually finds out.

The reason I'm not supposed to have Elsa on the bed is because yur Yuri doesn’t like it. He’s not jealous exactly, because Elsa’s not a person, but I guess he finds it very annoying that I’d hang out with my snowboard. Like, yesterday after work, I decided to take a nap, and I was in my room just casually chatting to Elsa about our upcoming competition before I fell asleep. Yuri came in to check on me, and he was not amused.

“I thought I told you not to do that,” he said.

“I know," I said. "But it feels too weird to talk to her when she’s on the floor.”

“But with your snowboard on the bed, there’s no room for me. What if I want to cuddle with you?”

“Do you want to cuddle with me?” I asked.

He pretended to pout. “Only if I’m not interrupting your secret rendez-vous with Elsa.”

I laughed out loud at that. “You make it sound like we’re in a love triangle or something.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You mean, we aren’t?”

“Of course not. Me and Elsa are strictly platonic,” I said.

“Well, just so you know, I have no intention of being platonic with you.”

He started to reach down to pull Elsa off the bed, but I gave him a look, and he must’ve seen something in my face that made him stop. It’s not that I don’t trust him. In fact, he’s one of the few people I do trust to handle my boards. It’s only that in the days leading up to a competition I prefer that the only hands on her are mine, and maybe my coach’s if necessary. It’s a strange superstition I have.

“Sorry,” I said, as I lifted Elsa off the bed and placed her gently on the floor.

“Are you apologizing to me or to her?” Yuri asked.

“You,” I told him. “You know I’m weird about people touching my board before the big day, and I don’t want you to think it’s personal.”

“I know it’s not personal,” he said. “And I know you’re weird.”

“Uh… thanks?”

He smiled at me, and I swear I saw a gleam of mischief in his eyes as he climbed onto the bed. “All right. Now that my rival is out of the way…”

If you haven’t worked it out by now, Yuri can be very demanding. I usually let him have his own way. I’m easy, and he’s hard to resist.

Things got a little more intense than I’d expected. By the time we were done, I’d gotten my second wind and it was Yuri who was ready for a nap. I left him sleeping in my bed, hopped in the shower for a few minutes and then went to make dinner. I wasn’t sure if Yuri was going to eat, but let me tell you, I was starving.

Yuri was still dead to the world when dinner was ready. I let him keep on sleeping, concluding that if he was that out of it, he more than likely needed the rest.

Honestly, I’ve been really worried about him since before Christmas. He has good days, like yesterday, but he’s been having a lot more bad days lately. He’s been getting tired really quickly, and I’m concerned about the weight he’s losing. He's a master at hiding his pain, so even at times when I think he’s relatively okay, he still might be suffering.

I’m scared that he’s right on the point of another really bad flare-up, and I dread that. I hate seeing him miserable and hurting. I’ll be by his side and I’ll take care of him no matter what, but I wish we never had to go through any of that. He deserves so much more than a life of constant discomfort. Sadly though, the powers that be are indiscriminate. As unfair as it is, good people suffer all the time for no actual reason.

I ate my dinner outside, so I could look at the mountain and clear my head. We can see some of the ski and snowboard runs from our back garden, and I love how they look at night with all the lights on. I wanted to drink in every detail, as if I was memorizing it. And maybe in a way, I was committing it to memory.

I’ve only been here in Matsumori for two years, but this place has already become such a part of me. I love it here, and as much as I’m ready to move back home to Maple Grove in the spring, I know it’s going to hurt to leave our dear friends and this town and my beloved Arashiyama behind. I’d told Yuri a couple weeks ago that we can always come back here for visits, but deep in my heart I know it won’t be the same.

Sitting there in the shadow of our beautiful mountain, I promised myself that I’d make the most of the time we have left. It’s only mid-January. It’s nearly five months until we leave.

A lot can happen in five months, and I’m planning to make every day count.

[princessofgotham777]

Heavydirtysoul

Peter Hayes x Reader

Fic type: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

Warnings: mention of death, torture (semi graphic but REALLY NOT REALLY), typical divergent universe stuff, violence

Heyyy I was listening to Heavydirtysoul by 21 pilots today and got this idea lol. I haven’t read all the books so like if it doesn’t add up plot wise sorry. Also I know Peter is highkey an awful human being, it’s fanfic it’s ok. I also know realistically four would be the one to save the day but once again it’s fanfic.

Your head hurt like hell. You had no idea where you were. The last thing you remembered was going out with Tris to search for discarded rations. You opened your eyes to a sterile white room. It was completely empty. Three walls were white and one was clear glass. You saw a man standing outside staring. It was Caleb, Tris’s brother. “You psycho!” You scream as you slam your hand on the glass. “Where the fuck am I! Where’s Tris! What did you do Caleb!” You yell. He simply stares stoically, like his soul is missing from behind his eyes.

Back at headquarters Peter noticed you’d been gone for a suspiciously long time. Every Tuesday at four you left with Tris to stock up on supplies. And every Tuesday at seven you were always back. It was eight and you and Tris were nowhere to be found. Peter walked through the underground building finding Four.

“You seen Tris or Y/N?” Four asks him quickly.

“I was just about to ask you the same thing,” Peter says.

“Shit,” Four says under his breath.

“Somethings wrong,” Peter says. “They should’ve been back by now.”

“Yeah, I know,” Four says.

“How the fuck are we going to find them. They could be anywhere,” Peter says.

“I have a feeling I know where they went,” Four says.

“Care to share with the class,” Peter says, covering his panic with his usual sarcastic charm.

“I can’t tell you,” Four says.

“You can’t tell me where my girlfriend is?” Peter says getting defensive.

“It’s not like that,” Four says as he puts a gun in the waistband of his pants.

“You better tell me what it is like if you’re grabbing a gun,” Peter says.

“You aren’t exactly known for your loyalty and secret keeping skills,” Four says slightly annoyed.

“I’m loyal to Y/N, if it has to do with her I’ll keep my mouth shut,” Peter says.

“It doesn’t have to do with her,” Four says. “It has to do with Tris and I just don’t trust you enough to tell you. Y/N may think you’re a good person but I don’t. I’ll bring them both back,” Four says as he walks around Peter. Peter knows he’s fucked up before. When you first met him he was an asshole to everybody. Now he’s only an asshole to like 50% of people. In all seriousness you did change him for the better. Growing up in Candor wasn’t always easy. Peter got so good at lying, hiding his emotions, and putting up a rough exterior that it just became second nature. He never in a million years would’ve thought a girl like you would be even semi interested in him. You were a kind hearted girl from Amnity who he’d met when all hell broke loose and they hid in Amnity for a while. When Four, Tris, Peter and Caleb left Amnity, you left with them; with Peter. You always insisted that when it came down to it Peter made the right decision. You’d seen it with your own eyes. You didn’t have the mentality of wanting to fix him you just knew that he wasn’t truly a bad person. Plus you’d always loved the “bad boy” attitude.

You’d figured out you were somewhere in Erudite, the middle of Chicago. You knew why you were there. You were out with Tris, who is divergent. They didn’t want you, they wanted her, you were just collateral damage. You’d moved from the plain white room without furniture. Now you were in a plain white room with two chairs. You were tied to one and the one across from you was empty. Two guards opened the door and carried in a girl who was kicking and screaming, it was Tris. They strapped her down to the chair across from you and left.

“Y/N!” Tris said. “I didn’t realize they’d taken you too,” she said almost like an apology.

“It’s not your fault, plus now I’m here to help get you the fuck out of here. By the way-“ you pause for a moment not knowing how to tell her that her brother is a traitor.

“I know, Caleb’s here,” Tris says.

“I’m sorry Tris,” you say apologetically.

“Not your fault he’s a brainwashed moron,” she says.

“So do you have any smart ideas?” She asks. Just as you’re about to say something a couple people walk inside. There’s four guards and Janine.

“Tris dear,” Janine says. “And who’s your little friend,” she says gesturing towards you.

“My names Y/N you bitch!” You say.

“Well, she’s certainly got a mouth on her,” she says.

“It’s me you want,” Tris says. “Just let Y/N go,” she says.

“Ah Tris. Always so righteous. I’d love to get to the chase as well. We can forget all about Y/N as soon as you open this,” she says. One of the guards places a box in Janine’s hand.

“What is it?” Tris asks.

“I’d love to know as much as you. Only someone with your…capabilities can open the thing,” she says.

Tris realizes whatever it is probably dangerous. “Not happening,” Tris says.

“I was afraid you’d say that,” Janine says.

One of the guards opens a case with various sharp devices.

“Torture me all you want!” Tris says. “Someone will come for us!”

“Oh dear, it won’t be you learning what all these fun little blades do,” Janine says turning towards you. Tris’s and yours eyes go wide. Fuck, you thought.

“Wait,” Tris says.

“No,” you say. “Don’t open the thing Tris. It’s probably a bio weapon or something!” “I’ve been trained for this. I can take it.” You say.

“Isn’t that touching,” Janine says sarcastically to the guard.

“Tris look at me, even if I beg you to open it, don’t,” you say as your final plead.

It took Four three hours to get to the middle of the city. He figured you guys were in what erudite considers to be there weapons research building. The tricky part was just getting inside said building, finding both of you, and the three of you getting out in one piece. In retrospect, he probably could’ve used Peter’s help, he just didn’t trust him enough to tell him Tris’s secret. He took out a guard and put on the uniform. As he walked inside prepared to check for you two floor by floor, he just hoped he wasn’t to late.

While Four was driving to the center of the city he was completely oblivious to the fact that Peter was hiding in the car trunk the whole time. Peter watched Four take out a guard and walk right inside the weapons research building through a crack in the car. Peter decided he’d take a different approach in attempt to run into less problems and find you faster. He’d have liked to simply work together with Four, but he knew his reputation was set in stone.

Blood ran down your face from your broken nose, bloodied lip and split skin. This guard, who was a fully grown man, had punched you so many times you’d begun to hear faint ringing in your ears. Through your watery eyes you saw Tris sitting across from you, hopeless like a rabbit about to be eaten by a snake. “Still don’t want to help?” Janine asked Tris.

“Don’t…do it” you mumbled

“Y/N,” Tris says like she’s in physical pain.

The man holding the knife held the blade to your shoulder and made a cut, if you lived it would need snitches. You screamed and then yelled, “don’t fucking open it!” With that, everyone in the room turned their heads when they heard a knock on the door. A guard was standing outside, like he was waiting to be let in. Janine whispers something to another one of the guards in the room. The fourth guard opened the door letting the man in. He bashed the guard who opened the door in the head with his gun. He tried to attack the others as well but was quickly restrained by two guards. For a moment you’d hoped it was Peter coming to save you.

“Peter?” You mumbled incoherently under your breath. The guards ripped off his armored mask.

“Four!” Tris said. It wasn’t Peter, but at least someone had come. You hoped, you knew, Peter had to be somewhere…doing something to help. Whether he was ready with the get away car or right behind Four you knew he wouldn’t just leave you here. You began to cry slightly, you tried not to, remembering your training at dauntless to keep a strong front. It was all too much though, the burning from the cuts, the bruising on your face, the inevitability of Tris eventually caving and opening the box to save you. Your goal was just to stall Tris opening the box till someone could come save you.

“I have to Y/N,” Tris says.

“Don’t, I’m okay,” you say as the guard slaps your bloody face. “I’m okay,” you say again despite clearly being far from okay.

Tears fall from Tris’s eyes as she says, “I’ll do it.”

“No!” You yell, with that the guard hits you so hard your vision goes blurry.

Suddenly there’s a gunshot and the guard who’s been torturing you drops dead. Another gunshot and one of the guards restraining Four drops dead. Janine quickly retreats out of the room. Four takes down the other guard who was restraining him. Someone drops down from the vent in the ceiling.

“Peter!” Four says surprised.

Peter shoots the last guard. Four rushes over to Tris and Peter runs over to you. You’re going in and out of consciousness.

“Y/N! Y/N!” Peter says quickly. He takes a knife from his pocket and cuts your hands free. He picks you up bridal style and exhales with relief when he feels your hand on his chest.

“Peter?” You say softly.

“We gotta go Peter!” Four yells. Him and Tris walk in front, guns at the ready.

“It’s okay,” Peter says to you. “I’m gonna get you out of here,” he promises. You know he’ll do whatever it takes to get you out of here, and it kind of scares you a bit.

Running through each floor of the Erudite building you don’t really know what’s going on. You’re safe in Peter’s arms. Periodically you hear Four and Tris shoot someone or someone yell. You guys are almost to the last floor where the car is hidden when suddenly Four and Tris stop. You pear your head up as much as you can to see Caleb standing in front of the door holding a gun.

“They want to help!” Caleb says. “They want to help us Tris, you have nothing to run from. Just stay and you can help save everyone.”

“Caleb they’re the enemy,” Tris says plainly.

“They’re not though!” He yells.

“Really!” Tris yells back. “Look what they did! Look what they did to my best friend!” She yells as she points to you bloodied and bruised in Peter’s arms.

“They’re trying to help,” is all Caleb says in return.

“Get out of the way,” Four says, pointing his gun at Caleb.

“Come on, you two aren’t gonna shoot me,” Caleb says to Four and Tris.

“They won’t,” Peter says. He holds up with one arm as he reaches for the gun in his waistband. “But I will,” he says, pulling the gun on Caleb.

“Peter wait,” Tris says.

“You’re just gonna let that psycho point a gun at me!” Caleb yells.

“We need to go now!” Peter yells.

“Don’t do this,” Tris says.

“She’s bleeding all over me!” Peter yells. “He just let them torture her! He’s a traitor Tris.”

“He’s my brother!” She yells.

“Peter,” you say trying and failing to form a sentence telling him to not kill Caleb. He looks down for a split second to see you glassy eyed looking up at him. He exhales deeply, trying to not freak out about you clearly needing medical attention.

“Cuff him then,” Peter says.

“What?” Tris and Caleb say.

Peter holds the gun steady, still pointed at Caleb and says, “cuff him.”

“What if they hurt him?” Tris says.

“Bring him…bring him with us,” you manage to say.

“She’s right,” Four says as he grabs Caleb’s hands behind his back.

Four drove, Tris sat shotgun, and in the backseat Peter was in the middle with Caleb, who was hand cuffed, on one side and you half sitting on the other side of him- half in his arms. The ride home was virtually silent. You drifted in and out of consciousness, each time Peter saw your eyes close he promptly made sure you stayed awake and told Four to drive faster. It felt nice knowing you were safe; you felt secure in Peter’s arms.

You remember getting back to headquarters and Peter carrying you to the medical wing. After that your memory went blank.

Peter sat by your side all night in the medical wing. He watched as they stitches you up and fixed up your face. All night he simply sat beside you just thinking. Thinking about the pain you must’ve been in, thinking about how he couldn’t take any of the pain from you, thinking about how Four demanded he not tag along, thinking of the look in your eye when he almost killed Caleb. Suddenly a few tears ran down his face. He wiped them away quickly, then he noticed Tris in the doorway.

“What do you want,” he said quietly.

“Just checking in on Y/N, plus I wanted to talk to you,” Tris says.

Peter sighs slightly and says, “I’m sorry for almost shooting your brother. I didn’t mean to scare you…I didn’t mean to scare anyone” he says looking at you for a moment. “But he was standing between Y/N and getting out of there.”

“I know,” Tris says with a suprising level of understanding.

“I debated shooting him in the leg or something myself but he is my brother,” Tris says.

“I wasn’t going to shoot him in the leg though, I was ready to kill him,” Peter says. “I’ve killed so many people now I’ve lost count you know. Sometimes at night I go through them all trying to land on a number but I always swear I’m missing a couple,” he says. “I think I’m turning into a monster,” he adds.

“A monster wouldn’t have saved us,” Tris says. “You saved Y/N and me and Four. None of us would be here right now without you.” “We all think about doing crazy stuff when people we love are threatened, I almost did what Janine wanted when I saw Y/N in so much pain. I was without a scratch meanwhile she was being tortured in front of me begging me to do nothing to help her. Y/N is one of the best people I know. If she trusts you then I do too,” she says. “Four didn’t want you to come not because we think you’re a monster, sure you’ve fucked up but who hasn’t. He just didn’t want to tell you my secret cause it wasn’t his to tell. I’m divergent. Y/N knows, I made her not tell you. Only the four of us know now,” she says.

“I won’t say anything,” Peter says simply.

“I know you won’t,” Tris says as she leaves.

“Hey pretty girl,” Peter says as your eyes open. You see Peter sitting beside you in a metal chair, very bright lights, and realize you’re in a medical bed. You open your eyes fully and it stings a bit around your eyes. You can feel the stitches in your shoulder and tape and band aids on your face. Your eyes focus on Peter and you could’ve sworn you saw the remnants of a couple tears.

“Thanks for saving me,” you say softly.

“You never need to thank me for protecting you. You’re my everything, I’ll always be there for you,” he says. “Plus I think in the end you more saved me,” he adds with a soft kind smile. As much as you could without being in excruciating pain, you smile back.

Heyyyy I hope yall liked this fic. It was super cool to write. I know Peter’s highkey a piece of shit in the actual story but I think fanfic versions of him can be interesting. Any feedback is always appreciated. If you liked it I have another Peter Hayes fic posted that might turn into a series so feel free to check that out. Thank you for reading!

Masterlist

[theposhsworld]

Feeling your feelings doesn’t make you feminine but an easily controlled emotional wreck. If you are in a place of abundance you don’t actually feel much at all so you don’t give chasing energy so instead abundance and your dreams chase you. I was reading some garbage by a polarity scam coach that therapy & pyschology like Sun Tzu’s art of war is not masculine lol (she sounds broke) and she was saying femininity is about feeling all your feelings. No femininity is about being an emotionally stable grown up adult capable of being a wife and mother.

When you are a wife you manage your spouse’s feelings because you are the only safe place for him to talk about his feelings. Anywhere else, he looks weak if he talks about his feelings. Then you have to manage your children’s feelings. Yes you have to hydrate, feed and validate your spouse when he comes home. That’s why he pays you the big bucks to stay home. Then bam! His stress disappears and he is all yours.

Sometimes I remember something during the day or at night and am mad at my husband. I have to regulate my feelings to be cheerful when he comes home, be grateful that he pays my bills when I want to chew his head off. I have to hydrate, feed and validate. His stress is gone in an hour or half an hour. Then I can bring my concerns. By the time I want to murder my spouse I need tactics to keep calm. In my case it has always been an easily resolved misunderstanding and I was catastrophizing when mishearing something. I state my needs and what I thought I heard using I statements and the problem is resolved. I get very mad at more poor husband for mishearing what he said before we go to sleep some times the next day.

If you are married long enough you will have reason to be furious at your spouse for nothing they did wrong and be fuming the whole day or something they would gladly and easily fix if you ask nicely. Being able to remove judgment and not catastrophize and have emotional self control is what gives you the maturity to handle being a wife and mother.

As a mother you have to be in control of your feelings and not yell at your child for being frustrated. When I lived with roommates I would hear a single mother yell at her children many a Saturday walking past our place always threatening then for this and that & unleashing being a single mother of three kids. Sounded like a divorced Karen. The children will grow messed up. Validating the kids feelings while not allowing them to do as they please will make them grow up healthy.

Mental health is not about letting your feelings run wild and sabotage your life because some guru calls this feminine but developing control of your feelings and harnessing them to achieve your best life instead of sabotaging it.

Affirmations not only help you feel abundant but remove the chasing insecurity that scares what you want away and attracts what you don’t want.

A queen is not emoting every two seconds. Queens if you notice are largely devoid of emotions and when we feel, we feel subtly. Why? Because of abundance gives you confidence. We have feelings especially when things don’t go our way but feelings are not the default mode of the Queen. The Queen enjoys abundance and occasionally feels but a peasant has big giant feelings every two seconds and can’t control them.

Queens are chill. Peasants are emoting like crazy with big emotions and are controlled by them. That is why advertising targeting the elite is calm and advertising targeting the lower classes is full of big emotions. The poorer the audience the more emotional the commercial.

Elite are in control of their feelings more often than not because money is allergic to emotions. That is why elite invest in coaches, therapists, read stoic books and so on.

Money is allergic to emotions so if you can make your emotions work for you instead of against you, you can achieve anything

Credit Maria Al Massani

[sanaxo-o]

The (Lovely) Cake Warrior

Warning/Genre: curse words here and there, the reader+chanhee blushes? Kind of like enemies to lovers but not really so friends to lovers, fluff, it’s kind of like a past story about how they meet, making out, in present Chanhee is your fiancee, lemme know if o should add more

Word Count: 5,888

Sana: my first instalment for my series So sweet like nectar and for deoboyznet’s event! I had fun writing this because the reader is basically me but a more chaotic version:) thank you lovely beta readers @quaissants @from-izzy and @strayed-quokka a special thanks to @cloverdaisies for helping me out with the first half of the story ☺️. Love you loadssss (the nickname is all thanks to clo yall) Lennon and izzy sorry for not using the banner yall chose but it was three against two-

Tagging: @cloverdaisies @mosviqu @kimsohn @a-dream-bookmark @deoboyznet

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“I am telling you, I never snuck out with my girlfriend!” A shrill, yet soft voice yells at the two men in front of him as he tries his best to defend himself from the accusations the two of them were throwing at him.

“Yeah yeah, tell that to yourself Choi Chanhee. We all knew the amount of trouble you went through just to save your girlfriend…” says Younghoon as he takes a bite out of his steak, tired by the fact that Chanhee kept on denying the truth.

Eric just laughs at their behaviour and takes a sip of water before setting the cup down. “How’s Y/N doing though? Isn’t she out of the country right now…?” He asked once both of them had calmed down.

Hearing the question from Eric, Chanhee immediately took out a letter from his back pocket as he placed it on the table with a small smile lingering on his lips.

“She is doing great. I received a letter from her a few days ago. She was talking about all the stuff from our high school…” he tells them with a sigh, “It used to be so peaceful when we were young, no? Reading the letter from her made me realise just how carefree and peaceful our teenage years were. We took it all for granted…” Chanhee says with a soft sigh escaping his lips yet again as he looks down at his fingers in thoughts crossing his mind.

“Remember when Y/N made you bunk your mathematics class because her homework was not done?” Eric says after a while of silence.

“Yeah, I cannot believe she made you agree on that knowing the fact that you were very much particular about your studies.” Younghoon comments on it before letting out a small laugh when he sees Chanhee’s cheeks turning a shade of pink.

“Only my Y/N could make me agree on something like that,” Chanhee says with a small nod before letting out a small laugh when he remembers all the times you both used to escape from the boring classes only to sneak into the rooftop of the school building to avoid learning (Chanhee was more than happy to learn. It was you who wanted to make a run for it and Chanhee just happened to tag along every time).

“Remember the time you met Y/N for the first time? The scowl you had on your face was so funny, we could all make out by just one glance at you that you did not like her.” Eric reminds him as he looks down at his almost empty plate.

“I mean…our beginning was kind of rocky but that was totally only because Y/N was just really stubborn. She still is though…”

“We can never forget that, now can we? Every time we would meet in the hallways your first sentence would be ‘Why is Y/N so stubborn?’ As if that’s the only thing you have in your vocabulary.” Eric says with a scoff as he stirs his drink with the straw before looking up in thought.

Year: 2018

Entering the empty hallways, the young (yet pretty tall) boy tries to look for his locker while still being aware of his surroundings. He knew just how crazy kids can be so the best he could do to save himself from getting wrapped in some crazy shit was to be aware of the people around him and the situation he’s in.

“MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! COMING THROUGH!” He hears a loud voice beam through the whole place, making his eardrums explode. Just how loud can someone be so early in the morning?

Looking up, the sight in front of him immediately made him widen his eyes when he saw someone running straight at him while holding a box of what seemed to be cake in their hand.

Before he could even react or even try to move away the person straight away crashed into him. The cake that was in her hands was now completely ruined.

All the buttercream was now on his clothes instead of the cake while the cake was lying on the floor in bits and pieces.

Letting out a scoff Chanhee looks up at the person with a huge scowl painted on his face, “Can’t you watch where you’re going?” He yells in disbelief as he tries to tidy his clothes but it is of no use since it’s already covered in cream and cake.

“I am so sorry, I was just in some hurry…” the girl apologises as she looks down at the cake which was on the floor.

Chanhee noticed how the girl did not even seem to be apologising properly, instead of giving a proper apology her whole attention was on the cake which made him slightly angry.

“Now what am I supposed to do with these ruined clothes…?” Chanhee says with annoyance and frustration lacing his tone.

Heaving out a heavy sigh, he turns around and starts walking towards the restroom, hoping he can get it cleaned up a bit (just so he can go on with his day without feeling disgusted because of the cake)

“I am so so sorry, I was just trying to get the cake to its place on time and I was not paying attention to my surroundings. I will do anything to make up for this.” Chanhee hears the girl pleading while following him to the restroom.

Stopping in his tracks he turns around to glare at her before opening his mouth to speak, “You cannot follow me inside the restroom, just make sure you don’t run around with a dead-ass cake in your hand.” He says before rolling his eyes and entering the restroom, not waiting for another second to even listen to her answer.

“Ah, what do I do now?” He says as soon as he enters the restroom and looks at the state his shirt is in.

There was cream all over it with pieces of cake still sticking to it. Heaving another sigh, he turns on the tap water to try and get some of the cream off him.

“That girl really didn’t care if the cake was all over me or not...” he mutters while scrubbing on his shirt with his wet hands, “If only I had that much confidence at that moment I would have stomped on her cake.” He says with a scoff escaping from his mouth when he recalls the moment that just took place. “Like who the hell runs around the hallways with a cake in their hand is going to be beyond me...”

Turning off the tap water, he looked down at his shirt which was now soaking wet, the stains from the cream were still there which made him look odd and on top of that the shirt was sticking to his skin which made it all the more uncomfortable for him.

Turning around, he unlocked the door and stepped out, “Is it still-” “AHH WHO THE HELL…oh it’s you again.” Looking down at her, he rolls his eyes before walking away, not being in the mood to even look at her.

“Hey! I did say that I am sorry! And look…I have a spare hoodie for you..” turning around Chanhee stops in his tracks and looks at the hoodie which was in her hand. “You can take this and in the meantime, I will get your shirt cleaned..”

“Just don’t ruin it more than it already is, Cake Warrior ,” Chanhee mumbles as he snatches the hoodie from her hand and enters the restroom again to change into it.

“What did you call me?” Chanhee heard the voice beam and for once, he felt the voice was more relaxed and soothing rather than a shrill annoying voice that ruined his poor clothes; and of course his whole day ahead.

“Cake…warrior? Do you have a problem with that, Cake Warrior ?” He says now with more confidence, taking a step closer towards her he leans down to get to the girl's height. “What’s your name, Cake Warrior ?” He says again, rather more in a taunting and mocking manner.

“Y/N…” Chanhee hears her mumble in a low voice, almost in a whisper-like voice. Standing up straight he looks down at her before letting out a small cough, “I will stick with Cake Warrior .” He says with a smile as he leaves the corridor after messing up Y/N’s hair.

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It had been a few days since Chanhee came across Y/N or Cake Warrior (that’s what he liked to refer to her as). It was kind of weird how they never ran into each other again and considering the fact that she still had his clothes gave him another reason to worry about her ‘disappearance’.

While that was kept aside, Chanhee did make pretty good friends. He was an introvert and never really put himself out there to interact or talk but somehow he managed to make not one but four friends.

He did not know if he’d still talk with Sunwoo or Hyunjae (for him, those two were just way too annoying but still liked their company nonetheless) after graduation but he was sure that he’d try his best to keep in touch with Younghoon and Eric.

Finally entering the cafeteria, Chanhee looked around to spot his friends who were usually there before him. He just assumed that they didn’t enjoy their classes as much as he did.

Once his eyes meet with Younghoon, a smile immediately makes its way to his lips as he starts walking towards them—“Hey! Cake boy! Wait up!” Immediately halting in his tracks Chanhee slowly turned around to take a look at that loud beaming voice which made his ears bleed.

“Ah so she is alive…” he says to himself with a silent roll of his eyes before turning around to walk towards his friends again.

He knew that she would be following him either way so he didn’t have the need to wait back for her slow ass.

Placing his stuff down on the table, Chanhee takes a seat beside Eric as he looks at Y/N in amusement at the way you ran across the cafeteria with zero care in the world.

It’s as if you had no ounce of embarrassment in you. Of course, if it was him in your place, he would have slowed down or even screamed across the whole room.

“Ah…there you are! I have been looking around the whole school for you—can I take a sip of this?” Chanhee just stares at her as she cuts her sentence out in the middle and asks Younghoon, the one who was the closest to her if she could take a sip of his drink.

Not knowing what to do, all Younghoon does is give her a small nod and leans back in his seat (probably wishing he was invisible at that very moment.) “Phew…running around the whole school like that is not easy. Probably burnt some carbs.” She says once she had quenched her thirst.

“What are you doing here?” Chanhee finally speaks up once he has made sure that you’re not thirsty anymore and are ready to speak rather softly than having to speak in a loud voice while taking deep breaths from time to time to catch your breath.

“Your…Your clothes. They’re all neat and tidy again and ready to be used!” She announces with a proud smile spread across her facial features.

Chanhee notices how her cheeks have turned a light shade of pink, a direct indication and sign that she indeed has been running around the whole school in search of him.

He kind of felt bad for making her do that just for her to return his clothes back to her but then again, serves her right for bumping into him with a whole cake in her hands (and it’s not like he asked her to search for him so he has no reason to feel guilty or anything, right? I mean yeah, Chanhee was petty like that and agrees to that but just don’t say it on his face).

“You could have just left it in my locker…” he mumbles quietly as he gently grabs the bag of clothes from your hands and sets them down on the table.

After getting the clothes from you, he thought that this would be it and that you’d leave once you were done delivering his clothes to him but you turned out to amuse him again when you decided to take a seat in front of him. This resulted in you making Younghoon move from his seat (he did NOT want to sit that close to Sunwoo but alas he had no choice). “Move aside please…” you say softly to Younghoon as you sit in front of Chanhee with a smile, “So…what are your plans?” You ask with a huge grin as you await his reply.

Getting caught off guard with your sudden question Chanhee just stares at you with his eyes slightly widened. Surely he expected a bizarre question from you but not this.

“Huh?” Was all he could get out of his mouth, his lips slightly parted from each other as he looked at you with widened eyes as if you were some kind of an alien.

“Let me put it in simpler words then, are you free?” You ask with much more confidence and boldness in your words as you look him in the eye.

It’s as if words were stuck in Chanhee’s throat and he was unable to get them out, I mean surely he felt that way when he first saw you too but he just assumed that it was because you were running towards him with a whole ass cake in your hand and he was just trying to process the whole thing.

“For you? Never.” Chanhee says that before he can even tell his brain to stop thinking like that and gets up from his chair to leave the cafeteria with his stuff in his hands.

He could hear some of his friends stifling their laughter, yet he clearly heard Sunwoo teasing you with his loud ass annoying voice which just made him chuckle at their behaviour.

Why did he reject you like that? He has no idea but what he does know is that he surely enjoyed the look of surprise which came across your face almost immediately when he said that.

“Cake boy! Wait for me!” He hears your shrill (yet not so annoying voice) scream loudly again.

He did not have to look back again to make sure of the fact that you were running towards him, a way for you to catch up with him, “Why the hell do you have such long legs?” He hears you speak once you finally catch up with him.

“Born with it, unlike you.” He replies with a snicker leaving his lips when he sees your lips pouting at his teasing.

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“Did you do the maths homework?” You yell at Chanhee as soon as you enter the classroom.

He just looks at you in confusion and nods his head, “Obviously, did you not?” He questions.

You both knew just how scary the maths professor was so not doing the work (you had a week given to complete it but it just…slipped your mind) on time really just meant going to hell without an invitation.

You shake your head slowly at his question with worry and fear taking over your face, “It slipped my mind..” you tell him with a pout as you slump down beside him with a huge sigh escaping your lips, “Can I copy your work?” You plead as you hold his arm and shake it gently, hoping he’ll gain some sympathy for you and let you copy his work.

“And why would I do that? Not my fault you have a memory set on default mode that you seem to forget every little thing.” Chanhee retorts back as he takes the lid off his americano to drink the leftover coffee.

“Oh come on! I swear I’d do anything you say, anything.” You plead as you move your hands around while trying to prove your point.

While doing so you fail to notice the fact that Chanhee had kept his iced americano by his books (the lid was not closed) and in your excitement, you hit the cup of coffee and all the ice and coffee goes all over his maths copy ruining his work.

“Watch out!” He yells as he tries to stop the cup from falling over but he is already too late since the coffee was already all over his homework.”Look what you did.” Chanhee says with a sigh as he looks at you with a scowl painted on his face, “Now what do I show that ass professor?”

You look at him apologetically as you try to clean the mess only for you to make it worse by making the coffee spread all over and fall on the ground, “Stop! Stop! Don’t touch anything!” He yells at you in disdain as he immediately stands up from his seat and holds your hand in his firm grip.

“I am so sorry, I swear I didn't mean to do that!” You stutter out as you look up at him with guilty eyes, your eyes immediately getting filled with tears as you sniffle.

Hearing you sniffle, Chanhee immediately stops tidying (Well, at least that's what he was trying to do) his desk and stares at you in complete shock. He approaches you while panicking, he never thought he’d ever see you cry or even have tears in front of him.

If you ever happened to cry in front of him he always thought it would be because you ruined someone's clothes again with a cake. But he never expected to see tears forming in your eyes, ready to roll down your cheeks at any moment because of a mere Americano spilling on his sheets.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Why are you crying?’ Chanhee says in panic as he immediately comes to hug you, hoping it will make you calm or soothe you down at least.

‘I ruined your stuff again,” you sniffle as you wipe your runny nose with your sleeve and you stare up at Chanhee with glossy eyes. “I always ruin things for you. Gosh, how can I be so clumsy?” You scold yourself as you stare at the mess you created because of your clumsy ass. “What will you do now?” You ask him softly, your eyes still glued to the desk.

“I guess I will just have to apologise to the professor and request an extension,” Chanhee says while staring at his wet copies. You both knew it was humanly impossible to complete all the work given by the professor in a few hours.

Despite all the help given by every one of your friends, you still would not be able to make it. You were given two weeks for a reason.

“Or maybe…we could just sneak out of here right now and save our asses from getting in trouble,” you suggest quietly when you take notice of Chanhee’s worried expression.

You knew just how serious Chanhee was when it came to studies (especially with Maths since he was just exceptionally good at it) and seeing him so worried about the submission which was totally caused because of you made you feel guilty. I mean, how could you be so clumsy to hit the cup that was right in front of your eyes?

Chanhee just stares at you with a judging stare as if you were nuts or out of your mind (which you were, when it came to do something regarding him) to even suggest something like that to him, “Did you seriously lose it at this point?”

You just stare at Chanhee when he says that, a knowing smile spreading across your face, “What? Do you think this is my first time bunking a class? How do you think I managed to get out of trouble every time?”

Hearing you say that, Chanhee stares at you with wide eyes when he realises that this is not your first time sneaking out in the middle of the class to save yourself from a deadline that you obviously did not finish on time.

“So what did you do the next day? Did you submit your work or…?” he stops himself from finishing the sentence, waiting for you to give him the answer instead.

“Of course, I submitted my work. I mean…it was a day late, yeah but it was still complete. That's why you pull an all-nighter with a few cups of coffee by your side to accompany you.” you say with a giggle as you stare at Chanhee again, “So…wanna come with me or not? It’s nothing too crazy, we will just go on the rooftop.” You clarify as you put your hand forward to Chanhee, waiting for him to take hold of your hand in his (you just wanted his beautiful slender fingers to entangle in yours).

Looking down at your hand, an airy chuckle escapes his lips as he shakes his head softly but takes hold of your hand nonetheless. “You’re crazy, you know that?” he mumbles while walking out the door with you.

“I was never this crazy before you came,” You reply teasingly, your cheeks rising in a smile when Chanhee laughs at your answer.

“So, you’re saying that I made you like this?” He questions with an exaggerated scoff leaving his lips.

You just shrug your shoulders at him as you turn around, walking backwards with your eyes focused on his lean figure, “Maybe?”

“Hey! Watch out!” Chanhee yells in surprise. His instincts kick in fast as he immediately grips your arms and pulls you towards him. Only then do you take notice of the pillar which was in the way?

You could practically hear your heartbeat in your ears when your eyes travelled up to Chanhee, the proximity you both were sharing made your cheeks heat up when you realised, just how close you both were right now (You could feel his breath fanning against your cheeks but we won’t talk about).

Clearing your throat, you immediately pull away from Chanhee and start walking upstairs, to the rooftop while muttering a small ‘Thank you’ to him–too shy to look him in the eye.

“Hey! Wait up.” You hear Chanhee yell as his footsteps start approaching you and he walks beside you within a second. He and his damn long legs, you curse in your mind as you keep your eyes trailed on the ground, not having the courage to even look up at Chanhee.

“Don’t tell me you’re all shy because of what happened back there,” Chanhee says with a laugh as he pokes your shoulder lightly, having fun at your reaction.

“Oh shut it!” You say in a hurry as you enter the rooftop and close the door once he walks in with you.

Sitting on the floor you look up at the sky with your eyes closed as you hum to some random lyrics. The rooftop was what you called your safe space, even though you were always loud and fairly outgoing you had your moments too.

This place was where you preferred to be alone and in peace, you never really preferred anyone being with you at this time. So, bringing Chanhee here was a first for sure.

“Are you not cold?” Chanhee questions quietly as he stares at your bare arms and then back up at your face, waiting for your answer.

It was cold weather today so it was a given that you’d feel cold but he did not want to just give you his sweater without hearing your answer.

It’d be embarrassing for him if you declined his offer, “No, I like the cold weather!” You reply with enthusiasm as you look at him with a big grin.

Chanhee could see that you were shivering slightly but he decided to not push you ahead. He decided to stay quiet for a while when he remembered the question he wanted to ask you since you guys started talking.

“Can I ask you something?” You hear Chanhee’s soft yet gentle voice speak up, making you open your eyes and stare back at him with your curious round eyes.

You just nod your head at his question, motioning him to continue his question, “Where were you heading to with that huge ass cake in your hand?” Chanhee questions with sass lacing his tone as he looks at you with slightly judging eyes but there is this smidge of warmth and affection in his stare. It was not visible to the human eyes but you knew it was there.

“Ah, that…remember Sunwoo? So it was his girlfriend's birthday and I was assigned to bring the cake which I miserably failed at.” You tell him truthfully, slight guilt lacing your voice. Because of you, his girlfriend was not able to eat the delicious cake.

“Why the hell would you take it out of the box then? Isn’t it common sense to keep it in the packed box?” He asks, looking at you with a judging stare as he brings the back of his hand up to your forehead, acting as if he is checking your temperature, “Something really is wrong with you…” he says softly as he immediately pulls his hand back when you try to hit it.

“Don’t you dare,” he says with a glare as he immediately flicks your forehead and stands up from the floor to run away from you.

“Choi Chanhee!” You yell as you immediately start chasing after him

“Sorry ma’am, I don’t have your cake with me but you can surely check my clothes. You will find bits and pieces of the cake!” He yells while running away from you.

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Entering the class, Chanhee furrows his eyebrows in confusion when he sees no sign of you.

You were always the first to be in the class (you always blamed your parents for waking you up early).

The entire day Chanhee couldn’t help but worry about you, he knew you wouldn’t just miss the day especially when you had to submit your overdue work.

“Ah finally!” Chanhee says to himself as he immediately packs up his bag to get to your house as soon as possible.

“Going to your girlfriend's house?” Chanhee hears Hyunjae’s annoying voice yell from across the room making him sigh at his childish behaviour.

“She’s not my girlfriend, Hyunjae.” He clarifies as he walks out the door with Hyunjae and his girlfriend trailing behind him.

“Yet. Just admit it, you like her, no? Your lovely Cake Warrior .” Hyunjae says as he pushes Chanhee’s shoulder lightly in a teasing manner as he looks at him with a knowing smile across his face.

Kicking Hyunjae’s shin, Chanhee just flips him off and walks away from there, knowing he would have to catch the bus to get to your house.

-x-x-

Ringing the doorbell, Chanhee waits for someone to open the door. Hearing no answer he presses the doorbell again and knocks on the door twice, getting slightly worried since he couldn’t hear any movement in the house.

Before he could knock on the door again Chanhee heard a faint voice coming from inside the house.

“Who’s there?” He hears your voice, it sounds a bit groggy as if you had just woken up from your sleep.

“Me, Chanhee.” Chanhee simply says as he leans against the wall, a cup of hot coffee in his hand as he waits for you to open the door.

“Chanhee who?” He hears your voice ask him, furrowing his eyebrows Chanhee scoffs at your question and heaves out a small sigh.

“The cake guy…” he mutters as he waits for you to open the door. “Real mature, Cake Warrior ,” Chanhee mumbles as soon as you open the door and let him in.

Entering the kitchen he places the cup of coffee on the counter and takes a seat on the chair, “Are you not well?” Chanhee questions as he settles his bag on the counter and looks at your tired figure.

You shake your head at his question and lay your head on the counter, too tired to even look up at him.

Looking at your state Chanhee, immediately stands up from his seat and sits down beside you.

Bringing his hands up to your forehead as he massages them gently, hoping the headache you were having would subside.

“You did not have to come here, you know?” You say softly, as you clear your throat when it starts paining.

“Who says I came here to take care of you? I am only here to give you the notes.” Chanhee defends himself as he immediately grabs his bag and takes out the notes to hand them to you.

A light shade of pink immediately creeps up his cheeks as he clears his throat and looks away from you, “Leave that, have some hot coffee. No cold drinks, you get that?” He warns you while handing you the cup of coffee.

Nodding at him, you immediately stand up from the chair and go into the living room to lay on the couch with Chanhee shortly following behind you once he took care of the mess in the kitchen.

Sitting opposite to you, Chanhee placed your legs on his lap as he massaged them for you.

Listening to the deafening silence you look at Chanhee curiously, “Why are you so nice to me?” You question him while staring at his face (you would never get tired of staring at that face).

Chuckling at your sudden question, Chanhee continues to massage your leg and looks down at you, “What is that supposed to mean?” He questions back with a cheeky smile on his face.

“I mean, you know…” you trail off, hoping he would understand what you meant to say.

“No, I don’t. Please elaborate.” You sigh at his answer and pull your leg back.

Sitting back up, you face Chanhee with your legs crossed.

“After what I did, I mean the cake, the Americano incident and all, I thought you’d resent me or something.” You clarify yourself while staring at Chanhee through your eyelashes.

“I don’t resent you. I mean yeah, I did hate you for ruining my clothes that day but you were a stranger at that time so it was a given, no?” You nod at his words and sigh again, “What’s bothering you now?” He asks with a smile.

“Why do you not hate me?” You ask him the same question again with your lower lip tucked out.

“Do you want me to hate you now?” Chanhee asks with a laugh as he pulls you closer towards him and places your head on his shoulder.

Patting your head soothingly, he hums softly, “If you don’t hate me, then do you like me?” You question after a while as you stare up at him.

You noticed how Chanhee stopped moving his fingers through your hair and just froze on the spot, his eyes widening slightly as he cleared his throat, “Why are you clearing your throat? I am the one who caught a cold.”

“You probably infected me, you germ-filled girl,” Chanhee says as he pushes you away slightly and sits up straight.

You snort at his words and look him in the eye, “Are you blushing? Hah, don't tell me you’re shy.” You say with a laugh, as you imitate his way of speaking.

“I don’t talk like that!” He whines as he stares at you with annoyance, “I never said you do!” You retort back as you mess his hair up and run away from there in your bedroom.

“Come back here!” Chanhee yells as he runs after you and follows you into the bedroom. Entering the room, he trips over the stuffed toy which was lying on the floor, resulting in both of you falling down on your bed with him on you.

Gulping, Chanhee stares into your eyes, only then does he realise just how beautiful your eyes are, “You have pretty eyes…” he mumbles in a whispery voice while looking down at your lips for a moment before diverting his eyes back up at you.

“You have such great lips,” you tell him as if you were in a trance with the way he was looking so captivating and ethereal.

You never told him but you always found him attractive, ever since you bumped into him with the cake in your hand (I mean, you asked him if he was free for a reason. You getting rejected was a different matter).

“Better than yours,” Chanhee says with a scoff as he tries to get back up only to get pulled down by you.

Grabbing a hold of his collar, you pull him down as you pull him in a slow, sensual kiss.

Being in shock, Chanhee didn’t know what to do so he stayed still yet he could hear his heart beating at a fast rate.

When you realise that Chanhee wasn’t kissing you back you try to pull away when he pulls you back in, his hands finding a way to your cheeks as he places one hand on your cheek and the other on the bed to support himself.

Pulling away slowly you look into Chanhee’s eyes, your face turning a shade of red as you clear your throat and push him away, making him fall down on the bed beside you.

“Your room is a mess,” he comments when you don’t say anything. Scoffing at his statement you grab your pillow which was beside you and hit his face with it.

“Way to go and ruin the moment, jerk.” You say as you stand up and walk out of the room with him following behind you while apologising.

You smile at yourself when you hear his frantic apologies, “Sorry, but seriously…do you need help cleaning-ACHOO!” He cuts himself off mid-sentence as he sneezes loudly making you look back at him with wide eyes.

“Great, you passed your flu to me, Cake Warrior .” He mumbles while wiping his nose with his sleeve.

“I am sorry but at least you like this lovely Cake Warrior , no?” You say with a cheeky smile as you go downstairs.

Back in the present

“See you guys soon! But don’t tell Hyunjae or Sunwoo that we met!” Younghoon yells as he leaves the restaurant since he has to go meet his wife at the coffee shop soon.

Giving an okay sign Chanhee turns to look at Eric as he sighs, “Do you still miss her?” He asks softly while paying for the bill.

Hearing his question all Eric does is click his tongue and shrug his shoulders.

Chanhee knew how much you both breaking up hurt him so he decided to leave the topic as it was and stood up to leave the place with Eric.

“See you soon.” He says as he pats erics shoulder

“Send us your wedding invitation!” Eric yells at Chanhee before parting ways with him.

☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️

Next instalment: Middle Of The Night (Eric Sohn)

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bundletober #13: blazing hymn

alright i've fallen behind on bundletober (the series of blog posts where i review and talk about a ttrpg i got in a bundle every day) and am hoping to make up the difference by putting out two entries today. this is the first one, and i'm looking at the mecha-piloting, synthetic-armour wearing, blaspheming-against-God-and-his-angels game blazing hymn by peach garden games.

now sadly this game is not a lyric/blackout poetry game about rewriting church hymns to be about gay sex. someone should make that btw. no it's just about wearing highly advanced battlesuits powered by the song of your heart to kill aliens with weapons of pure energy. which is about as cool.

first off, the layout of this game is unique and stylish. there are hexagons everywhere:

the game puts sparse splashes of dreamy pastel colours amid a constantly shifting set of black and white hexagons. it gives the book a visual identity that is at once both visually distinct and also changing massively from page to page. it's a really cool way to mix things up and keep you wanting to turn the page if just to keep seeing what the next one even looks like.

what's the game about? simple. angels have come to earth to destroy it badly. with the power of song, young people can power specially designed battlesuits, called Hymnals, that when not activated collapse down into crystal necklaces. it's a pretty anime concept--the game is pretty open about being inspired by Evangelion and Symphogear, neither of which i've actually seen--but it's cool as hell. the aesthetics of the layout really help bring the aesthetics of the game itself, of technology and ethereal mysticism merged into one thing, to life.

the game uses a pretty simple three-stat system where you build dice pools with a state relevant to an action and can get a full success, mixed success, or failure, depending on what you roll. your characters have two resources, Health, which is what it sounds like, and Gain, which is essentially magical power. because you can swap Health for Gain and Gain for Health at a 1-1 ratio with no restrictions, i'm not really sure why they're separate things--seems like a missed opportunity to not only simplify the mechanics but also create a strong mechanical narrative element by making Gain the only thing that keeps you going--once your song is silenced, you're out.

to create a character, you pick from one of six unit classes--here's where i'd describe the six classes, but honestly, they don't quite feel distinct enough. a lot of the powers you can pick for each hymnal class feel very similar, or are outright overlapping in a lot of cases. this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but the descriptions of the hymnals, while trying to clarify their combat roles, all end up seeming to repeat themselves or say contradictory things. i think some direct ties between those descriptions and their mechanics would have helped--i'd find it a lot easier to remember that, for example, the 05 Xyston type "brutal in combat" if that flavour text was followed by a direct reference to one or more of its abilities. they do all have pretty different stats--which, in a game with a very simple and elegant combat system, means i'm confident they play very differently once you hit the table. but just looking at them, as a prospective player, i struggle to tell the difference.

i don't have that problem with the next character creation mechanic, though, which is choosing the songs you sing to power your hymnal. each song, as well as a thematically appropriate set of stat boosts, also prompts a pair of revealing character questions. they're the kind of mechanic that i want to get my hands on because they make it fun to create characters, giving real mechanical expression to the emotional fundamentals of who they are.

the combat system itself seems really, really good. it's astoundingly simple--you're encouraged to use a map, but there's no fiddly grid or distance tracking, just the ability to move between being Close, Near, or Far from an enemy. it keeps the numbers low to keep it getting silly and doesn't bother with any of the unecessary bookkeeping and fiddliness that plagues TTRPG combat as a whole. no initiative, no separate turns--there's a 'player' turn and a GM turn, and during the GM turn the GM picks from enemy's listed actions until they've done two for each player. players can use their abilities on the GM turn, and the game encourages the GM to take enemy actions that wil lforce them to--so nobody's ever standing around twiddling their thumbs waiting for the whole table to rotate back to them, and having a lot of enemies doesn't mean the players listen to the GM talk for fifteen minutes.

there's two unique mechanics that i think are very interesting-- Civilians and Condemnation. Civilians are--well, exactly what they sound like. on their turn, players can use an action to evacutate up to 5 of them. this extremely small and simple mechanic is fucking genius. so many games tell you they're about saving innocent people, but yet the only mechanical verbs you have to interact with anyone are violent ones. as elaine scarry says in the body in pain:

so in a way i think blazing hymn puts its money where its mouth is in a way very few combat rpgs with emancipatory or heroic aspirations bother. angels are said to attack populated areas--you're sent to preserve life as well as destroy the enemy. it makes the game feel fundamentally different, like despite the questionable ethics of hymnals (after all, they only work on young people, who then have to be sent into deadly combat situations) there is something heroic you can do.

the second cool mechanic is condemnation, a reality-warping toxin that angels use to destroy the places they're sent to. this rocks because it adds a ticking timer to the battlefield, a passive threat that forces the player characters to be proactive. if condemnation gets too high, not only is the fight going to get harder, but civilians are going to die en masse. it's a great piece of game design that gives the GM a great lever to pull for pacing and urgency.

i also really like that one of the steps of the GM turn is to 'change the situation', whether that means something happens in the narrative or something on the map changes (a train arriving is the example the book gives) or more angels attack. in general, one of my biggest complaitns about d&d is that unless a DM takes it upon themselves to design additional mechanics and encounters outside of anything the game actually gives them, combat inevitably turns into two lines of people hitting each other with sticks until one of them dies. i love dynamic, progressing combat, combat where the stakes change moment to moment. and blazing hymn delivers.

anything else? oh yeah, the angel designs are cool as fuck.

god damn. anyway despite a few minor issues with the hymnals themselves, the core of blazing hymnal is fucking good, a nice tight and razor-sharp combat system wrapped up in pulsing pastel crystalline aesthetics. if you like cool anime fights and like having the rules to back it up but hate complexity, crunch, and tedium, this might be the perfect game for you. it's certainly given me a lot of cool design ideas to take foreward into my own projects.

blazing hymn is available for purchase as a digital download through itch.io