#'Blowing them...up? We have attempted to develop multiple-'
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I love how Stargate actually admits that it sometimes resolves things with "plan so stupid it's only working because plot", because every show does that to some extent, but Stargate is at least self-aware.
When your entire species is so hyper-engineered to be supergeniuses you have to outsource your âso stupid it just might workâ plans.
#Supreme Commander Thor#Daniel Jackson#Jack O'Neill#Stargate#Stargate SG1#'Help humans none of the technologically advanced weaponry we've built can stop the alien bugs that literally eat technology.'#'Have you tied blowing them up?'#'Blowing them...up? We have attempted to develop multiple-'#'Nevermind we got it guns break 'em pretty good!'#'...nothing makes sense anymore.'
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The fact that so many of us grew up undiagnosed autistic and socially isolated to the point where we couldn't have a normal interaction with our average classmate, were forced into learning philosophical and psychological theory just to understand what the fuck was wrong with us, kept having our interests shamed by the mainstream and our natural form of existence being seen as a turn-off for almost everyone in our fucking lives, kept being told that we were being inappropriate and unacceptable because the rules of society were stupid, had our entire life fall apart because everything was harder than it was supposed to be, developed multiple mental health issues in the process and had to cling to the insights we gained about society from the outside and to the things we were passionate about as our only forms of stability and power, only to then be told that we're "not better than everyone else for liking different things" and "should stop trying to win over male approval", just because we also happened to live through all that as girls and God Forbid we let the self-importance of an isolated dysfunctional teenage girl without social support blow out of proportion, will probably continue making me angry for as long as this doesn't stop. And maybe a bit after that too.
What I need some of you to understand is that "haha other girls wear makeup and date guys while I listen to indie rock and have no love life" is not necessarily a takedown of wearing makeup and dating guys. Sometimes it's just attempting to joke around at how terrifyingly isolating it is to be the only one who is the latter and WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO MAKE YOURSELF ANY OTHER WAY EVEN IF YOU TRIED, while everyone in your life is the former, and seem to relegate you to the category of "unsociable weirdo". Do you really think that this causes people (and by people I mean TEENAGE GIRLS for fucks sake) to believe they're genuinely better than everyone around them? Do you think people who went through this and made "other girls vs me" memes on Facebook were the ones who left the "other girls" of the world with unresolved personal trauma from highschool? That the outcasts joking about being edgy and cool because they can't get along with anyone are the ones who made gender-conforming girls with mainstream interests and a friend group and a love life feel like they are lesser? Give me. A fucking. Break.
#not like other girls#feminism#autism#undiagnosed autistic#mental health#isolation#social isolation#the trauma caused by growing up as a social outcast#uniqueness
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My Good Luck Charm
18+ explicit sexual content ahead, minors/ageless accounts DNI
Pairing: Jayvik
Word Count: 5,270
âWhat is it V?â He could feel Jayceâs breath on his cunt, sending shivers up his spine as his partner blew cool over his dick. âYou canât be tapping out already? We usually get you to at least five before a gameâŚweâre not even halfway there.â
OR Rugby captain Jayce is superstitious and has a pregame routine for good luck, involving fucking one Viktor Novak in his letterman jacket.
includes: mole worship, top Jayce, bottom Viktor, service top jayce, but their switches, jayce just tops in this fic, t4t, trans Viktor, trans Jayce, Jayce calls Viktor baby 2 times, pillow humping, hexstrap, strap-on, inappropriate use of hextech, anal fingering, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, oral sex, possessive sex, squirting, multiple orgasms, does this count as marathon sex?, marathon sex, cum marking, dacryphilia, dirty talk
Terms used for anatomy: cunt, cock, dick, folds, lower lips
A/N: I saw some art, couldn't get this out of my head, and wrote my first smut fic about it.
This was inspired by art by tetsarou on twitter bc OMG it was SO good!
https://x.com/tetsarou/status/1914020097477292124?s=46&t=n4hmIld1kHnuCdEuuY2RLA
Viktor used to scoff and roll his eyes at people who claimed college had been the âbest years of their lives,â and why wouldnât he? In his first few years he had some amazing memories, sure, but if those had been the best years of his lifeâŚwell he thought his life would have to be pretty disappointing.Â
And then he met Jayce Talis.
Jayce, who had been placed on both academic and extracurricular probation due to blowing up a lab in his early years, attempting to develop the early stages of what they now fondly call âHextech.â It just so happened that their academic advisor had thought it would be best to put him under the careful and watchful eyes of his teaching aid, one Viktor Novak, who had been in his last year of undergrad at the time.
Viktor had been vehemently against it at first, with his heavy workload he insisted had no time to look after this muscle head his advisor had saddled him with.Â
That thought didnât last long of course, the moment Viktor had looked over the many pages of work that Heimerdinger had confiscated he was met with one simple fact; Jayce Talis was a genius. The research he had been working on was groundbreaking, it was inspiring, and it had the potential to help millions of people all over the world if he played his cards right. He hadnât done that, of course, however that night Viktor had set his mind to nudging him in the right direction.Â
Over the remainder of the year they had set to developing Hextech as their endgame, not just academically, but for as long as they could tolerate each otherâs presence. What had started out as a mere dream to Jayce, had transformed both of their lives dramatically. They had gone from strangers to friends to roommates and eventually partners, in every sense of the word.
It took them an embarrassing amount of time, and yearning on both ends, before Jinx had finally developed a scheme to get them to kiss during a drunk game of spin the bottle a few years ago. Jinx had been in one of the classes Viktor assisted with during the first year of his masters degree, and had formed an attachment to him. With her older sister being involved with Jayceâs friend Caitlyn, they had become good friends outside of the standard academic setting as well.
The kiss had been breathtaking. Years of longing and desire poured into a drunk kiss in the middle of Viâs living room at 3am, they had received a chorus of booâs and joking statements from their friends before they had pulled apart, becoming aware of the setting they were in. The walk home had been tense, as had the days that followed, but after a week they had had a very long and heartfelt talk about their feelings.Â
They had been best friends, both yearning for nearly their entire friendship, they trusted each other wholly and completely. Jayce had finally found someone who believed in his wild dreams, and Viktor a match for his academic skills, specifically one that respected him. They thought each other equals in every way.Â
It has now been just over two years and they were in their last years of their masters programs. Everything was going perfect for them.
That includes Jayceâs sports career.Â
Aside from their shared dream Jayce was also the captain of the school's rugby team, making for a very heavy load for him this time of year. Balancing practice, their dream, academics, and their relationship was no easy task, especially given howâŚcodependent they had become.Â
As captain Jayce had to be at every practice, every game, no exceptions. This also meant Viktor had to be in the bleachers for nearly every practice and EVERY game, no exceptions. None of this was new to them, Viktor had been coming to these events to support Jayce since he had been able to rejoin the rugby team the sports season after he blew up the lab. At first Viktor had gone to stealthily ogle at the beautiful men on the team, Jayce included of course, but eventually it had turned into just ogling Jayce.Â
Jayce and his big beautiful muscles, his usually perfect hair messy from all the physical exertion, the way the sweat dripped down his face and body in the most intoxicating ways. He was a wet dream waiting to happen (and it had, eventually, happened).
When they had started having sex it was like a new door had been unlocked for the both of them. It was like Viktor had awoken parts of him he never knew existed, new kinks heâd never thought he had. Viktor had realized quickly that even things heâd previously thought he disliked were the hottest thing on earth when done by his beautiful hunk of a boyfriend.
That included his rather unorthodox superstitions, because of course Jayce had to be superstitious. Viktor didnât believe in things like âgood luck charms,â could never get behind the weird things Jayce did before games or before a big presentation that the man swore up and down were the keys to his success. He tolerated them of course, helped his partner with them since he knew how much they meant to him, but he never truly believed they had any merit to them.
They werenât all bad of course. One in particular had its perks.
Last year Jayce had somehow gotten it into his head that the key to the teamâs success fell directly on Viktors shouldersâŚor rather between his legs. Somehow they had fucked before all but two of the rugby playerâs games last season, and somehow those had been the only two the team lost. This had of course lead Jayce to the conclusion that he just had to fuck him before every game, and not just a quick fuck; that wouldnât fulfill Jayceâs people pleasing tendencies.
That brings us to the present, where Jayce is performing his pregame ritual of making Viktor cum as many times as they can fit into their schedule before he has to head out. All while making Viktor wear his letterman jacket, the one with the name TALIS printed in big bold letters across the back.Â
Vikto had already cum twice today on Jayceâs beautifully long and dangerous fingers. He was currently on his back with his legs hiked up over the otherâs shoulders as Jayce buried his head between Viktorâs legs.Â
âFuckâŚJayce please- â Viktor moaned out, one hand gripping his partnerâs hair and the other thrown over his face in an attempt to hide the pretty blush that had bloomed there.
He felt Jayce hum at him in response, his mouth suctioned around his cock in an oh so perfect way. Jayce pulled off of Viktor with a loud and wet pop, quickly replacing his mouth with one of his thumbs, and Viktor whined at the feeling of spit sticking to the skin between his legs.
âWhat is it V?â He could feel Jayceâs breath on his cunt, sending shivers up his spine as his partner blew cool over his dick. âYou canât be tapping out already? We usually get you to at least five before a gameâŚweâre not even halfway there.â His words came out like he was pouting, and when the pale man raised his arm up to peek down at his partner he found he was right. The man was pouting at him.
Viktor scoffed at him, scrunching his eyebrows together in indignation.
âI am not tapping out Jayce! I am just getting impatient! â Viktor said from his place on the bed.Â
âOh?â Jayce raised a thick eyebrow at that, curiosity blanketing the deep rumble of his voice. âYou wanna cum again that badly V?â A smirk overtook his tanned face as he let his thumb and pointer finger flick along his partnerâs dick, sending a jolt through the olderâs body.Â
Viktor threw his head back against the pillows at the fingers inside him sped up their motions, hitting that pleasurable spot inside of him at just the right angle.
âI wouldnât want to disappointâŚlet me make it up to you.â Jayce disappeared back between the otherâs legs, placing a sloppy kiss to a mark heâd left in the inside of his left thigh, coincidentally right on a mole. He pulled his fingers out with a wet squelch, pulling a disapproving whimper from Viktor, before quickly replacing them with his tongue.
Viktorâs eyes shot open wide at the new feeling, the hand not in Jayceâs hair gripping the bed sheets below him as his hips rocked up into the otherâs touch.Â
â AghâŚÂ Jay- Jayce oh gods-â He cut himself off with a choked moan, his partnerâs fingers working over his cock faster and faster as he approached his peak.
He could quite literally feel his partner smirk and chuckle against his cunt as he retracted his tongue and pressed a kiss to his hole, quickly reinserting his fingers. His mouth didnât stay unoccupied for long of course, coming back up to replace his fingers as he licked and sucked along his cock, pulling breathy moans and gasps from the beautiful man below him.
âIâm gon- gonna cum-!â Viktor went rigid as he felt fluid gush out of him, hearing it splatter across Jayceâs face, arms, and chest as he bucked his hips up into the otherâs mouth, now working overtime to prolong his orgasm.
When he finally came down Viktor let out a low whine at the sensation of Jayceâs fingers dragging out of him, at the feeling of his hole fluttering around nothing, now empty and gaping.
Jayce gave a light hum as he let his eyes rake up over Viktorâs body, licking the cum off his fingers as his gaze lingered on the two scars peeking out from under his jacket before letting them trail up to look directly into the hazel eyes of his partner.Â
He thought Viktor looked so good like this, breathless and satisfied, in nothing but his jacket and compression brace. He felt a gush of slick wet his own thighs as he sat up on his knees.
âCan you turn over for me Vik? Lay on your stomach and spread your legs open for me?â
Jayce watched his partner nod, a knowing look coming over his face as he not so gracefully flipped over and adjusted himself onto the pillow below him, propping himself up on his elbows for the time being. Viktor looked over his shoulder with a smirk on his face.
âLike what you see, Talis?â
Viktor knew what he looked like, dripping and flushed from head to toe, and he especially knew how riled up it got his lover to see him like this with his last name printed across his back like a brand. He spread his legs apart ever so slightly, in a teasing way, and was met with a deep groan of appreciation from behind him.
Viktor gasped as he felt a thumb move from his dick, through his folds, and make its way up to his puckered asshole, rubbing gentle circles there as another hand groped at his ass, kneading the cheek in its palm. Appreciative kisses were placed on what he knew were moles on his thighs.
âYouâre gonna ruin me Vik,â it was muffled from Jayceâs face being pressed against the skin of his legs. âProbably already have. Do you have any idea how good you look with my name on you like that?â
âOh I have a thought or two.â Viktorâs eyes had shut at some point, the sensations overwhelming his already too sensitive body, âYouâve told me every time I wear this exactly what it does to you, how it makes you feel. Even if you didnât Iâd be able to tell by the way you canât keep your hands off of me, hm?âÂ
âHow can you expect me to keep my hands to myself when I have the most perfect person in existence with my name draped across him?â Jayceâs head came up from where he was placing kisses against his partnerâs legs, he sat back up before moving the hand down to stroke over Viktorâs slick lower lips.Â
Viktorâs head fell forward with a breathy gasp into his arms, broken whimpers tearing from his mouth as he lost himself in the feeling of both his holes being stimulated.
âSo perfect for me Vik, taking my fingers so well.â Jayce pushed the tip of his thumb into the ring of muscle it had been circling, eliciting a whine from the older man. âYou gonna come again for me baby? Weâre nowhere near your record, Iâm sure you can give me another.â he was met with a breathy keens in response.
âGive me your fingers again, I need them Jayce.â Viktor meant it to be stern, but it came out much more wrecked than he meant it to, who could blame him though?Â
âCan you ask nicely for them? That sounded an awful lot like a demand V.â Jayce said in a playful tone. He kept moving his thumb in and out of Viktorâs rim with shallow thrusts, his other hand just moving back and forth over his cock in slow, teasing strokes.
Viktor growled in annoyance at the request, he hated when Jayce did this, made him beg for what he knew they both craved just as bad as the other.
âOr you could just do as I say and fuck me with your fingers.â Viktor shifted his hips up ever so slightly and felt the way the fabric of the jacket just barely slid up his back at the motion. Jayceâs fingers all but completely retracted and he all but sobbed at the near complete loss of contact from his lover. âNo, wait-â
âAsk nicely V.â Jayce scolded gently. âIâll make you cum so good Viktor, but you gotta ask for it. Can you do that for me, ask me to make you cum on my fingers again?â
Viktor could feel the tears leak from the corners of his eyes as he pressed his lips into a thin line, thinking over his options. He knew he could make Jayce give him what he wanted, but it may take longer than heâs willing to hold out for. He wanted to cum again so bad , and he wasnât sure it would be worth it to brat his way into this one.
With a defeated sigh Viktor let his forehead press to his forearms and let out a small âPlease.â
All he earned in response was an inquisitive hum, and the complete removal of the hand on his cock. He knew heâd have to try harder to get what he wanted. He let out an exasperated sigh and squeezed his eyes shut.
âPlease make me cum Jayce, please give me your fingers, let me cum on them again, I want it so bad- eUGHâ Viktor was cut off by the feeling of two long thick fingers pushing into his dripping cunt, and one beautifully thick thumb pushing all the way past the rim of his ass. He felt impossibly full.
Behind him he could hear Jayce shuffling against something, could hear fabric moving against fabric, but he couldn't find it in himself to care about it with how quickly he was approaching his next orgasm. He could tell Jayce was enjoying himself too, and as if the man could read his mind he decided to let Viktor know just how much he appreciated the view, words all coming out rough and dripping with lust.
âThere you go V, was that so hard? You sound so good when you beg for me, all whiny and out of breath.â Viktor was practically shaking as he let his upper body fully drop onto his arms beneath him. âSo good for me Vik, always so good for me. Look at youâŚfuck, Viktor. All spread open on my fingers, dripping onto the bed, with my fucking name written on your back- â
Viktor can feel himself tighten around Jayceâs fingers as he lets out another absolutely wrecked moan, the digits inside him hitting that perfect spot over and over again.
He heard a choked off groan from behind him and felt Jayceâs fingers stutter inside him for a few moments, causing Viktor to let out an indignant cry as he quickly fell back down from the peak he had just barely been headed over. He canted his hips back towards his partner and all but sobbed in relief when both of Jayceâs hands resumed their ministrations at what seemed like double the pace.
âOh V, did I ruin your orgasm? Iâm sorry.â Viktor could tell by the lilt in his voice that Jayce was most certainly not sorry in the slightest, but he really couldnât bring himself to care when the man was speedrunning making him cum again. Every movement was intentional, poised exactly in the ways Jayce had learned he loved over the years, and it didnât even take a minute before he was crashing over the edge, entering into his fourth orgasm of the night.
Viktor practically screamed as waves of pleasure overtook his body, every nerve he had being lit up in an almost painful way with how Jayce continued to finger him through it all. His arms grasped for hold on the sheets in a desperate attempt to ground himself until he went limp on the mattress, using the last bit of strength he had to bat away the offending hands between his legs.
âYou are incorrigible, absolutely insatiable.â Viktor joked over his shoulder as he turned his head just enough to get a glimpse of the man behind him, and in return was greeted by a sight that made his mouth go completely dry.
Jayce was there, flushed and sweaty as expected, licking his fingers clean like Viktorâs cum was some kind of delicacy. The part that sent a flood of heat through him however, was the pillow he had just noticed lodged between his loverâs legs, a wet patch visible right at the apex of his thighs.
Viktorâs eyes went wide and he let his tongue out to wet his lips as he felt himself clench around nothing, excess fluid dripping out of him. He inhaled shakily as he let his gaze meet his partnerâs, the man in question still licking his spend off of his now almost completely clean hand.
Jayce let out a chuckle and blushed at the new attention, climbing off the pillow and tossing it off to somewhere else on their bed. He leant his body over his partnerâs and pressed kisses over his back moles while his hands glided over Viktorâs sides.
âI hope you can forgive me for making you wait a little extra for that one, I just couldnât help myselfâŚâ Viktor felt dizzy with all the new knowledge. It was nothing new for his partner to cum from giving him pleasure, in fact heâd done it on their very first night together. The pillow was new though, in their years together heâd never seen Jayce hump a pillow before, and the sight had unfortunately reignited the fire he had just barely been able to stamp out.Â
Viktor let out another whine when Jayce pulled down his jacket to suck a hickey onto one of the moles that dotted over his shoulder blade.
âYou want one more? I really wanna give you another, just one more please Viktor.â The paler man let out a breathy chuckle at the pleas, pretending to contemplate his answer.
âHm Iâm not sure Jayce, I think your team can win just fine with four.â
âBut we always play best when I give you at least five! I havenât even gotten my dick in you yetâŚâ Jayce finished his sentence with a whine, his hips grinding down against Viktorâs.
Viktor let out a full laugh at that, an eye he hadnât meant to close opening back up to find the drawer where they kept all their toys.
âWellâŚâ Viktor let one hand move down to cover Jayceâs larger one on his hips, âsince youâre asking so nicely for me, I guess I can somehow manage one more for youâŚfor the team .â Viktor let his own hips rock back into Jayceâs, just enough to have the other whimpering into his neck where he had started to suck another bruise.
âOh thank you baby, Iâll make you feel so good, I promise.â
âYou always doâŚnow please hurry up Talis, I am starting to feel quite, eh...empty without you.â
He felt the way Jayce frantically nodded against his back before retreating to get his strap from their toy collection. Jayce had always been good at following directions, moving with a clear sense of urgency as he put on the harness and took out a bright blue silicone toy and the small box they kept to house the hex shard it was powered with.
The dildo had three parts, two bases that were interchangeable for different activities, one that could suction onto any surface and the other for occasions like this, to provide stimulation to the wearer of it while they were fucking one another. The third part was the dildo itself, around 8 inches in length and about as thick as the smallest part of Jayceâs wrist. Veins decorated the phallic object to give a more realistic feel to it.Â
Jayce placed the hexshard into its compartment at the base of the dildo before attaching the stimulation end over top of it, watching for a moment as the whole thing activated and lit up.Â
Viktor bit his lip as he watched his partner come back over to him, eyebrows furrowed together as he took in how gorgeous his boyfriend looked.
Jayce took notice of this, of course he did, and a grin broke out on his face as his hand moved down between his legs, giving himself a few strokes. He stopped in front of Viktor, just close enough that if Viktor really wanted to he could lift himself up to take him in his mouth.
âI take it you like what you see?â
âI swear to the GODS Talis if you do not get in me right now-â Â
Jayce cut him off with a beautiful laugh as he gave himself a few more strokes and climbed onto the bed behind him. Taking Viktorâs thighs in each hand, he spread them apart just enough to slot himself between them. He took a moment to locate the pillow heâd previously discarded to place it under Viktorâs hips, using another one to add some extra cushion under his bad knee.
When Jayceâs hands disappeared Viktor couldnât even voice his displeasure before he felt the head of Jayceâs dick sliding through his folds. He let out a choked off moan as he felt a hand come to rest on his lower back, teasingly moving up and down over the exposed skin as Jayce pushed the jacket up. He let out a strangled gasp as another set of fingers dipped into him to collect some of the excess fluid, no doubt to help lubricate the monster that was currently situated between Jayceâs legs.
â Fuck Iâll never get tired of seeing you like thisâŚall fucked out and needy for meâŚâ
Viktor felt a pressure at his entrance and took a shaky breath as the head pushed in. Jayce continued to babble behind him, Viktor was pretty sure he wasnât even aware he was still talking.
âLove seeing you in my clothesâŚmy house colorsâŚyou look so good in red and gold sweetheart, wanna wrap you in it.â Jayce continued to slowly fill him up as he talked, and Viktor could barely listen. All of his attention was being stolen as he was split open on his partner, on the slight pain that was mixing in with the pleasure in just the way he liked. â-name looks so fucking good on you Viktor. âÂ
Jayce bottomed out as he said his loverâs name, pushing a moan out of the man below him. He stayed there for a few seconds, just watching where their hips met, before rocking his hips. He didnât pull out, not yet, just stayed seated how he was and pushed himself deeper into his partner.Â
Viktor was losing his mind from it, it was simultaneously too much and not enough, being stuffed so full while also craving more.Â
âJayce please move , I need you to fuck me . â
âIn just a secâŚâ Jayce sounded absolutely breathless, âlemme just-âÂ
Viktor feels hands on either side of his hips lock him into a bruising grip before a pair of thumbs was spreading his cheeks apart. Even after the afternoon theyâd shared, Viktor couldnât help the blush that crept up his face at the feeling of being so exposed. Of course that didnât stop him from unconsciously clenching and unclenching at how much he liked it.
âThere we go, now I can see all of you.â
âJayce Talis, must we go through this every- oh!â Viktor was interrupted when Jayce finally decided to move, pulling nearly all the way out and thrusting back in like his life depended on it.Â
Jayce set a relaxed pace, choosing to focus more on the force of his thrusts, every one making moans spill from Viktorâs mouth. His hands were the only thing keeping Viktor from being fucked into the headboard, pressing his hips down into the pillow beneath him so that he couldnât even move if he wanted to.
Viktor wailed as the head of the dildo brushed across that oh so perfect spot inside of him and felt the hands grow impossibly tighter around him as his partner started aiming to stimulate it with every thrust. His fifth orgasm of the night was quickly approaching, the pressure building in his gut increasing as more filthy words of praise made their way past Jayceâs lips.
âNever get use to this sight- hah, you stuffed full like this, dripping wet for me- oh fuck.â Jayce sped up his thrusts, letting one of his hands leave Viktorâs ass to catch himself as he let his upper body fall forward, he was close enough now that Viktor could feel his body heat, could feel his hot breath on his neck as he panted over him.
Viktor let out a high pitched whimper at the change in position, using the little strength he had to turn his upper body just enough to make eye contact with Jayce. Desperate pants fell from Viktorâs mouth as he took in how hot he looked. His hair had started to stick to his forehead, his lips were kiss swollen and parts of his lower face were still shiny from when he had made him squirt. Jayce never wiped his face off after going down on him during these sessions, said he liked being covered in Viktorâs cum. The first time heâd said that it had triggered another three rounds, making him almost an hour late for team warmups, and just barely giving him enough time to properly prepare for the match (they won by a landslide).
The thought alone triggers another rush of fluids from his body and he sees the way Jayceâs eyes snap down to his cunt, his eyes darkening and a grin spreading over his face as he no doubt notices the added wetness.
âThat feel good Vik? God youâre so worked up today, so needy for meâŚyou like being reminded youâre mine?â Viktor squeezed his eyes shut and let out a shaky breath he hadnât even realized he was holding. âHey none of that,â the hand Jayce had previously been using to support himself gripped onto Viktorâs Jaw, âopen your eyes for me VikâŚthatâs it.â (damn)
Viktor forced his eyes open to stare back into Jayceâs molten gold ones.
âLook so good, mmh , when you cry V.â
Was he crying again? Viktor let one of his hands come up to touch his cheek, and sure enough, his fingers came back wet.
âCanât help it, Oh! Feels so good Jayce- fu- oh fuck.â He sounded wrecked, completely and totally wrecked. Viktorâs words were slurring together and he couldnât keep the high pitched whine from slipping past his lips as the finger circling his ass pushed back in.
âC-closeâŚÂ Iâm so close- Jayce!â Â
âI know Viktor, let go for me. Want you to hah cum on me. You sound so pretty when you cum Vik.â Jayce finished his sentence off with a sharp bite to his partnerâs shoulder and Viktor came on the spot.
Everything went white and Viktor felt himself shake with the force of his orgasm. A broken scream tore its way out of him as fluid sprayed out of him onto Jayceâs thighs and lower body, completely soaking the sheets, exceedingly wet squelching being heard from the new addition of fluid between their bodies.Â
And then Viktor went limp on the bed as the world around him went dark. Everything felt fuzzy; his mind, his body, just everything. Where was he? Wasnât Jayce here just a second ago?
â-iktor? Come back to me V.âÂ
Viktorâs eyes blinked open, when he shut them he didnât know, and he took a moment to take in his surroundings. He was on his back now, with a hand combing through his hair and one massaging out the knot he knew was forming in his thigh.
âHey thereâŚwelcome back.â
âMmhâŚdid I pass out?â One of Viktorâs hands came up to rub the dried tears from his face.
âYou did, but you squirted again first.â Jayce said it with a proud grin on his face. âI already got you all cleaned upâŚwell mostly. I couldnât change the sheets with you on them.â
Viktor hummed in acknowledgement as he finally felt the dampness of the fabric below him.Â
âThank you Jayce, I appreciate itâŚdid you..?â The question didnât need to be finished, Jayce knew what he was asking, and it was clear based on the dusting of pink that covered his tan cheeks.
âUh yeahâŚhehâŚâ The hand that Jayce had previously been combing through Viktorâs hair came up to scratch the back of his own neck, âI came, like right after you did actually. You underestimate how much I like getting you off.â
Viktor let out a tired chuckle at his partnerâs shyness and moved to stretch out his spine, wincing at the pops it let out.
âWell,â he made a move to sit up on his elbows, âthen I do hope this concludes your pregame ritual, no? You have everything in order to play to your highest capabilities and win without a shadow of a doubt.â
Jayce stared down at him lovingly, leaning in only to place a gentle kiss against the side of his head.
âI do yeah, all thanks to my absolutely perfect good luck charm.â
âYes, well your good luck charm will be showering now, and you should throw this jacket in the wash. It reeks.â
Jayce lets out a laugh as Viktor shrugs off the clothing and lets it fall to the bed with a soft thud. The two make their way off the bed, locating Viktorâs cane and moving on to their respective pre-game/post-sex activities, knowing they will see each other again soon enough when Viktor arrives to watch Jayce reep the rewards of their coitus in the form of a landslide win.
A/N: I plan to write a part of this set years in the future where Jayce is disabled, they're married, etc. It's in my head already, but don't expect it soon bc I'm busy af. If there's anything about this fic yall have genuine criticisms of please feel free to let me know, I'm willing to listen if I accidently wrote something weird or missed any tags! Hope yall enjoy otherwise bc I was SO nervous to post this. BIG thank you to all my moots and friends who encouraged me with this, and hyped me up for it!! Specifically justmĂĂny on twitter for editing it and finding several places I forgot to capitalize letters!!
#jayvik#jayce x viktor#jayce talis#viktor#alternate universe#modern au#college au#trans viktor#arcane#jayvik smut#smut
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how to write a love song
.ăťă.ăťăâăť.ăťâŤăťăăťă.
masterlist
taro has been heavy on my mind for the last 24 hours and iâve always wanted to write a fake dating fic so here we are
summary: you have been a solo idol under SM for years now. unfortunately, youâve seen a decline in your popularity in the last year. smâs newest boy group, riize, on the other hand, is blowing up in korea and overseas. in an attempt to generate buzz around your upcoming album, your company sets you up in a PR relationship with riizeâs shotaro. (not proofread)
date: 04/07/24
scenario themes: fake dating, idol!au, lowkey grumpy x sunshine lmao
idol: osaki shotaro of riize
concept: fluff, angst-ish
warnings: swearing
word count: 5.3k

"fucking hell." you curse to yourself, alone in your private studio. you were looking at the sales for your last mini album. this was the lowest number you've seen since your debut. flopping onto a chair, you opened up youtube to check your streams, then spotify, then naver, and so on and so forth.
you were beginning to become obsessive, looking to numbers for validation. you put your phone down, sighing. looking up at the wall in front of you, you were greeted with your debut poster.
you were so young, so passionate. you didn't care about streams or sales, you just wanted to share your art with the world. feeling a bit ungrateful, you began to gaslight yourself into feeling better: it's not like the figures were that low, and many artists would kill to have half of what you're complaining about.
it didn't work. you felt even more like shit. somewhere along the way you fell in love with stardom. you became used to high-end brand endorsements, sold-out stadiums, and paparazzi everywhere you go. life has changed a lot for you in the last year.
you got so caught up in everything that you haven't been able to produce as much music. and if you're being honest, the only music you have put out hasn't exactly been your best work.
you initially stood out since you were an idol who didn't dance or put on flashy performances but instead wrote and composed captivating songs with meaningful lyrics. this attracted the attention of a nation, and later on, you developed a global fanbase. a fanbase that is currently fighting for their lives to defend your shitty mini-album.
somewhere along the way, you lost your spark. your lyrics which used to be about raw emotion and life experiences now seemed out of touch and cliche. your instrumentals had so much care poured into them, with most of them containing your own playing of the guitar, piano, drums, and more. now, they were created electronically for the most part by multiple big-shot producers.
you followed the formula for success, so why weren't you reaping the benefits?
your phone screen lit up, notifying you of an email sent by your manager:
RE: Staff Meeting
Y/N,
The numbers aren't looking too good. We need another drop, and soon. Weâre having a meeting and you can show us what you came up with so far. We brought in the PR team and they're going to share some ideas with us. The meeting's at 6, don't be late.
you glanced over at the clock. it was 4:44 p.m., which means you still have an hour and 16 minutes to come up with something to show your team.
no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't come up with anything. it used to come so easy to you. your love songs in particular were always so easy to write, and guaranteed hits at that.
unfortunately for you, being in love is nearly impossible when you're a full-time idol. between hectic schedules and invasive fans, you can't find the time or place to catch feelings for someone.
before you knew it, it was 5:50 and all you had done was mope about how hard it is to make music. packing your belongings, you headed out of the studio and made your way to the SM company building.
once seated at the meeting, you were greeted by your manager and the PR professionals he invited. "so, y/n. we're looking forward to hearing about any progress you might have made for the album." your manager encouraged, smiling at you.
"i... don't have anything," you admitted. the room was dead silent and you were holding yourself back from cringing at your own words. "I was hoping we could maybe just look at a couple of demos?"
"y/n, that's what we did last time, and it clearly isn't appealing to the fans. they want your music. we need the finished album from you by next month." your manager stressed.
"i know, i know. i'm working on it." you muttered. clearing his throat, your manager looked to the PR team, "since there's no new music for us to listen to, i guess you guys can take it from here."
"right, thank you." an unnamed woman in glasses began, "we were thinking of creating a fabricated relationship between miss l/n and another idol here at SM. his group is having a comeback around the same time you are."
you were about to protest before she cut you off, "the relationship doesn't have to go on for long, just until you release new music. it'll generate buzz and people will be more likely to tune in if they think your songs are about him. just consider it." she pleaded.
"who is it?" you questioned, still apprehensive. "shotaro from riize. the group is still recovering after a member of theirs has gone on hiatus following a scandal free seunghan until it's backwards. the two of you are close in age and he's been an idol for a few years now so he's perfect." she persuaded. you saw your manager nod in agreement in the corner of your eye.
"isn't dating as an idol a scandal in itself?" you argued. "yes, but you would generate more good exposure than bad. fans online have been talking about how good of a couple you would make for a while now." your manager butted in.
great. so you're not only going to get death threats from delusional fans but also affirm crazed shippers' beliefs. as badly as you wanted out, you really did need more attention on you as you were preparing to come back. besides, any publicity is good publicity, right?
"fine." you agreed begrudgingly. "wonderful! shotaro has also agreed, we'll have another meeting tomorrow at 10 a.m. with the two of you to go over everything." the lady exclaimed, clasping her hands together excitedly.
smiling politely, you excused yourself and left the room. your manager rushed after you, stopping you from leaving the building. "y/n, listen. I know this is all probably really uncomfortable, but I think it'll be good for you." he insisted.
good for streams, maybe. "i'll be fine. it's only a month, right?" you smiled. "right." he affirmed, patting you on the back before walking in the opposite direction.
once he was out of sight your smile immediately dropped. you made your way out the doors of the building preparing yourself for the lonely commute home.
despite being surrounded by fans and paparazzi constantly, you felt pretty lonely most of your days. you rarely had time to see your friends and family, and you didn't have any group members to share the burden of loneliness with.
making your way to the parking lot, you bumped into an energetic figure, causing your keys to drop. the two of you bent down at the same time and your heads collided. stepping back, you looked up at the stranger that had just made your already shit day even shittier.
he picked up your keys first before standing straight and looking back at you. laughing, he handed them over to you, apologizing for the inconvenience.
to your surprise, it was shotaro. the man you had to act like you were in love starting tomorrow. he had incredibly soft features and the brownest, biggest eyes that you could get lost in forever.
"hey, I recognize you!" he chirped, "I was told you would be at the meeting tomorrow for..." he trailed off, the air between you suddenly awkward.
"yeah." you added dryly. "well it was nice meeting you." you pushed past him. "nice meeting you as well!" he called out, enthusiastically waving.
he's so sweet it's sickening.
maybe you're being a bit of a bitch, but your life feels like it's falling apart. stepping into your car, you took a moment to breathe before starting it and heading home.
the next morning, you wanted nothing more than to rot in bed, but your annoyingly loud alarm reminded you of your impending meeting with shotaro. you didn't see the harm in getting a few more minutes of beauty sleep so you hit the snooze button and drifted back off.
unfortunately, those few minutes turned into an hour, and the next thing you know, you had twenty minutes until your meeting. panicking, you rush to wash your face and get dressed, sprinting down the stairs of your apartment.
once you're seated in the car, you're greeted with a blaring sign: empty tank. just your luck. you have under 10 minutes to get to the SM building and it's a twenty-minute walk from your place.
you checked the bus schedules frantically but none of them seemed to come in time. mentally cursing yourself, you began running in the direction of the company building.
there was no way you were going to make it in time. but this was better than nothing. after about 5 minutes of sprinting like your life depended on it, you saw a familiar face in a car waiting at a stoplight: shotaro.
you don't know how you managed to bump into him yet again but you couldn't really afford to care at this moment. knocking on the window lightly, you saw him look at you shocked.
he rolled down his window, "are you okay?" he asked, slightly freaked out. "i'm so sorry i promise i'll explain but could you please let me in because the light is about to turn green." you begged.
he stared at you shocked for a few seconds before you practically yelled at him to let you in. unlocking the doors, he watched you jump in. he definitely thought you were crazy.
and you couldn't blame him either. looking in the window, you saw your reflection for the first time since you left home: sweat beading on your forehead from running and your hair frizzy and half out of your bun.
while putting together your appearance as best as you could, he coughed loudly, "you said you were going to explain...?" he cautioned.
"right. I slept through my alarm, my car ran out of gas, and I was planning on booking it for the interview since there were no buses available either. oh, and sorry again for scaring you." you rattled on.
you expected him to react like most people if put in this situation: slightly annoyed but accepting of the situation.
he simply laughed. "well then I'm glad you ran into me!" he cheered with a genuine smile on his face. what the hell was his problem?
you knew idols would put on cheery, cute personas for the camera, but you never met someone so honestly enthusiastic. you would be lying if you said it wasn't refreshing, but it felt too good to be true.
you arrived at the building within a matter of minutes. "thank you, once again." you turned to shotaro once the two of you reached the elevator. "no worries." he smiled.
youâd be lying if you said he wasnât extremely handsome, and his kind demeanor made him even more attractive.
you caught yourself staring at him intensely, suddenly feeling nervous in the cramped elevator alone with him.
he kept trying to make conversation but you were completely zoned out, only being able to focus on how good he looked in his oversized black sweater.
your eyes kept nervously flitting between him and the elevator door, and you were beginning to sweat. has he always been this hot?
after what felt like an eternity, the elevator door opened and you practically sprinted out, making a beeline for the conference room. never have you been more relieved to see a room full of PR professionals.
you and shotaro sat down a safe distance away from each other. youâre not sure what overcame you in the elevator.
you havenât had any romance in your life for so long that every little thing gets you flustered, including being alone in a small space with a good looking man.
âthank you both for coming today.â the same woman from yesterday greeted. âif you donât mind, weâd like to walk you through the month-long plan of your ârelationshipââ she shared, using quotation marks.
âfirstly, we want the two of you to be spotted out together. going to cafeâs, the movies, even just for a walk. hold hands, hug, kiss if you feel like it.â you couldnât help but look at shotaro for the last bit and you were shocked to see he was already looking at you.
âweâll call on paparazzi and companies like dispatch to âcatch you in the actâ and post your photos online for people to catch on.â she continued, nodding at a man next to her.
âthen weâre going to make an official announcement on behalf of the company that you two are officially dating. you know, âthe pair are getting to know each other and we would appreciate your privacy bla bla blaââ the man said, far less professionally.
âright. you two will continue your outings for another week or so after and then you come back, and we will make a statement on behalf of the company that you have broken up to focus on your schedules. how does that sound?â the lady wrapped up.
âsounds good to me.â shotaro replied coolly. âyeah, um, sounds good.â you sputtered, a bit overwhelmed.
suddenly, you heard a loud ping on the womanâs phone. she looked down and looked up again between you and shotaro, âwell, it looks like you two have already set the plan into motion.â she chuckled.
looking closer at her phone, you saw an online article showing pictures from just an hour ago of you in shotaroâs car titled ây/n and shotaro: potential lovebirds?â
what the hell? how did those photos get out so fast⌠and when were they even taken?
although you were growing increasingly anxious about your lack of privacy, you had to admit the PR team knew what they were talking about, people were going insane over the article.
âsince youâve already been spotted together today, you might as well go on a âdateâ later in the afternoon to seal the deal.â an older man opposite you added in air quotes.
you and shotaro simply nodded in agreement and before you knew it, the meeting was coming to a close.
grabbing your bag, you prepared to speed-walk out of the room and avoid shotaro until your inevitable âdateâ but he seemed to have other plans.
âwait up, y/n!â he hollered, catching up to you. âi know weâre kind of being forced to hang out, but that doesnât mean we canât enjoy each otherâs company!â he began, âwhatâs your favorite coffee shop? mineâs-â
âlook i appreciate you trying to make light of the situation, but this is just a marketing strategy, nothing more and nothing less.â you cut him off, âletâs just go to the bakery across the street, make lovey dovey eyes at each other, and go our separate ways, yeah?â
his smile faded a bit which made you feel guilty, but he recovered quickly and nodded, following you out the company building.
once you arrived at the bakery, you tried to seem as interested as possible in whatever shotaro was talking about, but your brain was still foggy from the hectic morning you had.
âanyways, what about you?â the singer excitedly asked, ââŚwhat about me?â you repeated through gritted teeth, forcing a smile in case any cameras were on you.
âi was asking if you started preparing for your new album.â he smiled. âoh. um, yeah.â you shrugged, avoiding eye contact.
âyou know iâm a big fan of your music,â shotaro started, âi loved your debut album, i listen to at least one song from it every day.â he shared shyly.
well great. now you felt even more bad for being so unnecessarily rude to him. softening your demeanor, you replied with âthanks⌠i really liked âget a guitarâ, too.â
his eyes lit up upon you mentioning his track, which you took as a sign to continue, âbut i can never get the dance quite right.â you added, grinning.
âi can always teach you!â he beamed.
âthat would be nice-â
âoh my GOD, is that shotaro?â a stranger gasped, causing both your and shotaroâs heads to snap in opposite directions.
even though you were technically trying to get caught, old idol habits die hard. dating scandals are every idolâs biggest fear: an entire dedicated fanbase turning on you just for experiencing romance? true nightmare fuel.
âand i think thatâs y/n with him! why are they here together?â another stranger spoke up. you and shotaro swiftly picked up your belongings and left, worried youâd attract more attention.
âiâll-um-see you, bye.â you mumbled with your head down as shotaro gave you a small thumbs up underneath the table.
the two of you set off in different directions and you began dreading the long walk home. you were wearing a mask and a beanie, which meant your chances of getting recognized were pretty low, but they definitely werenât zero.
however, you loved walking through seoul, especially this time of year. the weather was nice, and the streets were bustling. you used to love brainstorming song lyrics and melodies during walks.
deciding to take advantage of your situation, you racked your brain for any potential lyrics.
nothing.
how could you have lost all your creativity? did your songwriting talent just disappear? how would you get it back?
doubts filled your mind as you realized you were already halfway home and failed to come up with a single verse.
maybe you were lacking inspiration. your life was filled with romantic endeavors prior to your debut, which filled your mind with several ideas for new songs.
but you seemed to have forgotten all of them, and as cheesy as it sounds, you might have forgotten how it feels to be in love as well.
nearing your apartment, you felt a vibration in your pocket. taking out your phone, you opened up an email from your manager:
Re: Dating News
Hello Y/N,
Seems like your bakery date is already going viral on SNS. A pair of fans spotted you two and uploaded a photo of you sitting at a table together. Keep up the good work.
[1 Attachment]
clicking on the attachment, you saw a screenshot of a tweet exclaiming âRIIZE SHOTARO AND Y/N L/N ON A DATE???â with a picture of the two of you smiling and sitting across from each other at a table.
it freaked you out how happy the two of you looked in the photo, almost like a real couple.
shutting off your phone, you couldnât help but smile as you entered your apartment, maybe shotaro was starting to grow on you.
in the next few weeks, you and shotaro would go on several public outings, getting spotted almost immediately.
before you knew it the two of you were the hottest topic in k-pop, headlining several media outlet articles and trending on social media.
you would periodically receive correspondence from your manager and PR team praising you for how well you were pulling the stunt off.
although you wouldnât admit it, you were really starting to enjoy shotaroâs company as well. the two of you began texting until late hours at night and planning âdatesâ without instruction from your team.
youâd be lying if you said you werenât starting to feel a bit attached to him but you reminded yourself that this was simply a work thing. besides, itâs not like heâs interested anyway⌠right?
you couldnât read shotaro at all. he always had a sweet smile plastered on his face and seemed excited about everything and anything.
weirdly, you felt your writing ability start to come back slowly as well.. but it obviously has nothing to do with shotaro!
itâs just a coincidence that you draw on your memories of him to come up with lyrics; that you describe his mannerisms to a T in your potential choruses and scribble about how he makes you feel in your notebook on your off-days.
yup! definitely just a coincidence.
âyâknow i used to love these growing up,â shotaro shared as the two of you stood at a street food stall indulging in dango.
âyou must miss japan a lot, huh?â you asked, staring at the side of his face. his expression faltered slightly.
âof course i do, but iâm glad i chased after my dreams. it sounds clichĂŠ but it paid off. i get to do what i love, even if iâm hundreds of miles away from home.â he replied softly.
you donât know what it was, but in that moment you wanted nothing more than to kiss him. you stared at his lips for a few moments before he caught on.
âdo i have something on my face..?â he questioned, raising a finger to wipe his mouth.
you leaned in, centimeters away from touching your lips with his when he stepped back.
shit. way to go, y/n.
âsorry, i just- i donât think we shouldâŚâ he stammered,
âno, iâm sorry. i donât know what came over me. we-i should go.â you said awkwardly, biting your lip.
you headed off before he could reply, mentally cursing at the world and wanting to crawl into a hole and die.
how could you let your guard down like that and embarrass yourself?
that night, you didnât receive a single text from him like you usually do, so you tried reaching out.
no response.
every time you contacted him afterwards or tried to set up another âdateâ he would flake last minute or respond dryly until he full-on ghosted you.
you stopped heading out together and your manager seemed content with it as you had already generated enough anticipation for your comeback.
the next time you saw him would be at a company meeting, discussing the end of your ârelationshipâ.
you zoned out the entire meeting, barely hearing anything coming out of anyoneâs mouth. you focused on trying not to look at shotaro and keeping your thoughts preoccupied so you felt less embarrassed just being in his presence.
your manager briefed you on the contents of the meeting afterwards, sharing that all you had to do was release a joint statement that confirmed you were now broken up.
âitâs easy enough, you mostly leave it to the social media managers. just send them your virtual signature and be sure to post it on your instagram as soon as possible. got it?â the man asked.
you nodded wordlessly with your head still in the clouds. for the first time in a long time your mind was filled with new ideas for lyrics, ranging from lovestruck to heartbroken to enraged.
you opted to walk home that day, even taking the longer route, furiously typing in your notes app and recording several voice notes on the way. you mustâve looked insane to everyone else around you but you didnât care.
if you couldnât get your mind off shotaro, youâd at least make it work in your favor. that night, you wrote an impressive 10 drafts of different songs, staying up until late and getting up early the next morning to head to the studio.
you drowned yourself in your work, hoping youâd forget about the boy whose presence was still all around you in both your thoughts and lyrics.
eventually, you refined and recorded all 10 songs, ready to release them in your new album.
shortly before your album announcement, you posted your official âbreakupâ statement, feeling empty as you tapped on your screen.
you never wouldâve predicted the somewhat annoying and yet incredibly charming guy that you were forced into a relationship with would haunt you this much.
you even found yourself looking through old posts and articles about the two of you, reminiscing on your time as a fake couple.
it stung knowing it was completely one-sided, and it stung even more knowing you couldâve still had him as a friend if you didnât stupidly act on impulse.
you saw him here and there entering and leaving the SM building and the two of you would share a polite smile and bow before rushing off.
the response to your breakup announcement was unprecedented, and the amount of people heartbroken for the both of you took you by surprise.
riizeandrealize: âlove isnât real after all đđâ
y/n4eva: âat least we know the new album is gonna hitâ
y/ntaro: âNOOO MY PARENTSâ
tarosho28: âawww⌠so that means shotaroâs single again? đâ
scrolling through the comments absentmindedly, one in specific caught your attention:
user1129399: âshe always seemed more into him than he did. heâs probably the one that broke it offâ
you felt hot with rage, what does a stupid netizen on the internet know? and why is their comment making you so upset?
maybe because they were partially right. you obviously were more into him or he wouldâve been more receptive to your humiliating attempt at a kiss.
your album was set to come out in a week and you had a set track list recorded and ready.
and yet, you felt compelled to add one more song.
you went to work immediately, writing so fast your words were barely legible but you could read it perfectly fine.
you wrote as intensely and specifically as you could about everythingâfrom your first encounter to your last. you tried to keep your other songs vague enough to avoid any suspicion on shotaroâs part about the subject of the lyrics, but you didnât care anymore.
you were in love with osaki shotaro and you needed to express it in the only way you know how.
âare you insane?â your managerâs voice boomed over the line.
âitâs already recorded, and i have the backing vocals done too. i just need one more day to get the production team together and itâll be done and ready to add to the album.â you pleaded.
âfine.â he sighed, âthis better be worth it.â
âit will be.â at this point you werenât sure if you were assuring him or yourself.
this was your most personal and emotional piece of work yet, and you were worried shitless about what response it would receive.
luckily for you, it did amazing on the charts and with your fans. in fact, your fanbase almost doubled in size and you were experiencing even more success than you were already.
unluckily for you, you still felt like shit.
your life felt empty without shotaro in it and no amount of fans, cameras, or praise could fill that void.
as you were preparing to go out onto stage for a music show, you ran into a familiar figure heading out of the green room.
of course it was none other than the one person you have been thinking about nonstop for the past month, wrote an entire album about, and the same guy who probably cringes every time he hears it play on the radio.
you gave him a polite smile before rushing towards the hair and makeup room.
âwait. y/n, can we talk real quick?â he began nervously.
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfu-
ây/n?â he repeated, snapping you back to reality.
âyes. of course.â you responded, trying to sound as collected as possible.
âi-uh listened to your new album. itâs amazing. i loved track 11 the most.â he smiled softly, but it didnât quite reach his eyes.
of course you liked that track, itâs obviously about you.
âthanks! is that all?â you rushed, preparing to sprint away at any moment.
âno! honestly, i wanted to apologize for the way things ended.â he confessed,
you knew how this was going to end. he was going to give you some bullshit excuse for ghosting you instead of just telling you he wasnât interested and waste 5 minutes of your time.
but you donât have 5 minutes to waste. you need to get up on stage and sing about how bad he hurt you.
pathetic, but at least youâre self aware.
âsave it. i know you donât feel the same way and thatâs fine. but you couldâve at least told me. you didnât have to shut me out, I thought we were friends at the very least.â you exploded, suddenly feeling a burst of adrenaline.
âbut y/n-â
âand iâm not in the mood for excuses. you had a month to think of a good excuse but i guess there just isnât one. you know i just hope you can take this experience and learn to never do this to some other girl because-â
ây/n youâre not listening to me.â
âwhy should i? you didnât bother listening to me when i called you all those times. and about track 11, yes itâs about you. the whole fucking album is about you and i bet you already knew that-â
your petty rant was cut short when you felt something press gently against your lips⌠but he definitely wasnât kissing you.
oh my god. did he just physically shush me? he carefully removed his finger from itâs place in front of your now-closed lips.
âdid you just shush me?! have you lost your damn mind-â you began again,
ây/n!â he practically yelled, now gaining the attention from several staff members.
âi know what i did was shitty and Iâm sorry. youâre right, i shouldnât have ghosted you. but itâs not because i didnât feel the same way. iâve loved you for a while now.â
your jaw dropped, along with several eavesdropperâs jaws throughout the now dead-silent hallway.
âi was scared that you didnât see me in that way but when i found out that you did⌠i panicked. i was too scared to tell you how i felt and i know iâm an idiot for it.â he looked down. âiâm not going to beg you to take me back or anything, but can we at least go back to the way we were? friends?â
ây/n, you need to get to hair and makeup NOW! youâre running out of time before your performance!â a staff member called out before you could respond, dragging you away.
well great. now you have to pretend everythingâs alright and sing a little song on stage when your whole world has been flipped upside down.
as you sat in the makeup chair, you pondered over what would happen if you did agree to start over with shotaro, would you be happy?
before you knew it, you were on stage facing a crowd full of people staring right at you. you usually wouldnât mind, youâre an idol after all. but the whole situation was just overstimulating you.
luckily the backtrack began playing before you could overthink and you were able to escape from reality for a few minutes to sing and perform.
you missed this feeling. you missed staying up writing, listening proudly to your new music you poured your heart into, and giving your all on stage every performance.
at the end of your song, the crowd erupted into cheers. you looked onto all the banners with your name and face plastered onto them gratefully.
whether you liked it or not, shotaro brought your spark back. yes it caused you immense pain and suffering, but it also gave you moments of joy, including the one you were experiencing right now.
once you wrapped up, you headed backstage, surprised to see shotaro standing by the monitor. was he watching your performance?
âi made up my mind.â you announced, walking up to him.
âare you sure you donât need more time?â he asked, nervous.
âyouâre a dumbass for what you did,â you started, noting how his face fell, âbut iâd be an even bigger dumbass to pretend i donât want to be with you.â
the contagious smile youâre used to seeing slowly reappeared on his face, causing you to slowly smile as well before you quickly corrected yourself.
âbut⌠i want a proper apology. maybe you could give me one at the bakery tomorrow morning?â you mused.
âitâs a date.â he responded warmly.
#kpop reactions#kpop scenario#riize#riize x reader#riize imagines#riize fluff#shotaro#osaki shotaro#nct u#shotaro x reader#riize reactions#riize scenarios
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I didn't realize how politically, historically, and personally idiotic people actually were until I saw posts arguing about Jinx and her crimes in Arcane and the comments below them.
Before I knew people were idiots, but I always tried to be optimistic and thought it was due to propaganda, upbringing, and the sheer amount of things going on during wars and just in any historical event alone.
But no. People are just stupid. Their view of the world is so painfully clear when a simple ass cartoon like Arcane pops up. "Jinx is a freedom fighter, Piltover is the evil empire." đ Jinx is a crazy person who was blowing shit up because she kept going through schizophrenic episodes and panic attacks. The "freedom fighting" happened after a certain someone perished. And the show doesn't has a definite evil. It shows both sides having evil people and heroic people, the entire point is that no side is evil but both are blinded by selfishness to some degree that stops progress from being made.
Also did everyone just completely ignore how Zuan situation happened? How the power imbalance developed? Due to an accident, Zuan has poisonous gas released into the city. To which there was an attempt to clean it up by none other but Caitlyn's family! In the snippit of Caitlyn slowly turning into a dictator where she looks at her family's history, it legit says that Zuan must have fresh air. And in another, we have Jayce having to give counsel members perks to be fully accepted, denoting to the corrupt nature of Piltover with a similar scene with Silco where he had to poison the room with the grey to get the Chem barons to listen to him.
I mean come the fuck on. The parallels are right fucking there. Is Zuan the victim? Yes. But Piltover is not a Disney villain. Corrupt practices from BOTH SIDES prevented any reconciliation attempts made by BOTH SIDES.
Caitlyn was literally setting up a meeting with a counsel to fix the Zuan situation and have Vi, a Zuanite, testify what's happening. TO THE COUNSEL. Before Jinx blew the damn building up with Caitlyn's mother inside and kept making terrorist attacks. Which led to one of the strongest supporters of Zuan into a psychopathic meltdown of wanting to hunt down Jinx and not caring who she hurts in the process.
There are multiple characters in Piltover who have shown sympathy and desire to help Zuan, and most of which were turned off from helping after Zuan kept making terrorist attacks (though yes, one was orchestrated by Embessa.).
But this is not to say that Zuan is the issue. Piltover has the exact same issue with people fucking up the possibility of fixing the inequalities and rage baiting Zuanites into reacting negatively.
The real, and only, freedom fighter with a good head on her shoulders was Sevika. She was never a traitor. She just sided with whoever was best for Zuan at the moment. She had no issues doing all the work, all she needed was a poster boy (now girl) who would help her with organizing all of Zuan together to end the systematic inequalities that Zuanites faced. And she always stuck with the important shit. Not revenge. Not ego.
So, in short, the average person is an idiot who over identifies with Zuan and dumbs down the entire show to fit their narrow understanding of the conflict between the two cities and the deep relations between all of the characters.
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Oh boy howdy Buckle up children it is time for a review of
The Kiss of the Basilisk
I'm sorry sweet little one... You do not deserve this...
Which like. There's a stunning lack of actual basilisks and a stunning lack of regular kissing. It's all described as TONGUES PASSIONATELY DANCING
Anyways this book is 18+ so this review is intended for 18+ folks so if that's not you ... Begone. Also if you are a fan of the book, or are the author, or know the author, do not read this post if you're going to get your feelings hurt or send this to the author in any way. I have the author blocked on my Instagram and do not want to drag authors into my negative reviews. This review also contains spoilers of the book so if you don't want to read spoilers, you too, should go now.
TLDR; Reading this during pride month was a hate crime against the Gay Community and I sincerely apologize for my actions.
Fuck it, it's 10PM and there's a tornado watch so I am hunched over on my bathroom floor with sirens blaring. This is the worst, longest, most dragged on, least character developed, poorly written book I have ever read in the 26 years I have the misery to call "life". This book is actually so bad that I had to pull out my laptop to write an even more scathing review of it. Just a couple points:
This book starts off with NO trigger warning (in the KU version at least). There is just a note from the author saying this book will ChAnGE UR LyFe!!! and to say GOODBYE to the person you were before you read it! Man. I do miss the Caps from before this book. So sweet. So innocent. Anyways this book has MULTIPLE content warnings that the author gleefully skipped over, including sexual assault, harassment, attempted rape, sexism, murder, fantasy racism and mentions of genocide. Whee! Changed for sure!
The characters are so weak if I blinked they would blow over from the breeze of my thin white girl eyelashes. We have SO MANY instances of Tempura (Temperance is a DUMBASS name) saying I AM BRAVE AND NOT WEAK and then being weak. She pouts when Carpet is mean to her, or lies, and then she mopes to Leo, who comforts her and flirts with her (and she flirts BACK?!?) and then she goes back to Cambry. The snake boy is also dumb as hell and he isn't even the ACTUAL Snake King. that's his dad. Who she bangs in front of Corbin and his whole family. Anyways Calender is SO GOOD AT SEX OH MAH GAWD and he has banged many women relentlessly but then he LOOKS at this twenty year old and gives her a claw buttplug telepathic dildo because just seeing her changed his life. Also Tailgate decided she loves them both and proceeds to flirt with both men, get engaged to them both, and lead them on without, you know, telling them. Coriander also knowingly is teaching Torrence to be good at sex for the prince and then gets pissy when she, you know, does it. Oh. And she has FRECKLES U GUISE. No one else does! Wow! So original! Also she's A VIRGIN WOW and thus somehow the best at sex because spoiler she's half basilisk wow shocker) and she's like WHATS THIS CALLED while pointing at her vagina. She's TWENTY. In a VERY sex/fertility based society.
Leo and Temperature's mother did not deserve this bullshit. She constantly dogs on her mother for being a SINGLE MOM and is so busy getting rammed by the telepathic dildo claw that she feigns being sick to send her mother into a town that HATES HER. Like more than they hate Teal or whatever the fuck her dumbass name is.
Okay so the stereotypes are horrible. She has a Hispanic coded gay best friend who is mean and sassy and slutty, and the village favorite and resident bully, Vera (who everyone hates but apparently is the "village favorite"?) is plus size ("curvy") and the only bully. And blonde. And there are ACTUAL villains in this book and Tem is like "WAAAH this Regina George wannabe is worse than them". Strong and independent, my ass.
There's this bad guy. Rowe. Right? He's mean and evil and yadda yadda. Anyways Torque can't figure out with her dumb dumb girl brain why he hates Cupid. Turns out. Central "crested" Rowe's dad (which is where the snakes give someone such a powerful orgasm they TAKE OVER THEIR MIND?? Unless I misread that??) and thus. Rowe hates him. And Tem by extension. His dick gets ripped off.
The world building sucks. Example:
Everyone worships the goddess of fertility, and all pray to her, and have the same depiction of her... across species over entire centuries? The one goddess?
Men are expected to be good at sex and women are too but women are shamed and harassed and called whores. Which like, isn't inaccurate from real life, but in a society built on sex...? And one that has worshiped sex? Typically don't have a regressive view on women being sexual??
Also, in a society that fears basilisk, where Roosters are the number one way of scaring them off and everyone is buying roosters and chickens from Tailspin and her mom... Why are they frowned upon? They're called "Chicken Shit" (and Tem is told her v@gina thus, tastes like Chicken Shit by Vera), they're looked down on for being farmers... They should be rolling in the dough if everyone is trying to buy roosters from them.
Little tangent on the previous: the king hates Tummy and even says, in front of Leo, "ew, chicken girl, you don't want her because she's a working class bitch" (that's paraphrasing). But he's... fine with just all the OTHER village working class girls? And like yeah, he dated her mom, but why do they not call the kingdom next door and work out a political marriage? This would strengthen them against the basilisks? But no that's called "thinking" and something that the author cannot take the courtesy to extend to her readers.
Okay, let's talk about the basilisks then. Their "form" isn't a snake. Just hot people who are naked with big pwenises and bewbs, and they get... shadowy and have scales. And they lost the war to humans centuries ago and the king at the time told them... to teach village girls how to BONE?? That's IT? Not enslave them? Not sell them to other kingdoms for higher up marriages? Not try to incorporate them into society as sex workers and warriors, which they are formidable as? Like that's ALL the king thought to do with them? When they get Horny they also HISS?? Miss ma'am. Have you MET a snake?? Ugh. Also oh tem is so hot she makes ALL the snakes horny.
The sex was awful. Every time is OH SO SPECIAL and OH THE BEST O SHE HAS EVER HAD and OH ALL THE DIQUES ARE SO LONG and OH THIS MOMENT IS SO IMPORTANT my guy it is mediocre at best. also. she has so much sex at the snake orgy (or as I have dubbed, "snorgy") that her vagina starts to bleed and her pelvis breaks. Good. Fucking. God. This is the most booktok sex I have ever seen and I mean that in the most derogatory way possible.
Anyways if I keep going, I'll just have more to say. Do yourself a favor and do not read this book unless you are high, you are dead, or both. This is 600 pages of bullshittery with no trigger warnings and this book made me go to the exotic meat store, buy snake, fry it, and eat it because that is all this book made me want to do. Eat snakes. And not in the sexy way.
Also before yall say anything yes, I love romantasy, I love romance, I love fantasy. This book has no grounds to be even half as long as it is and has a lack of romance and fantasy. World building is shite and the relationships and characters are shite.
#book reviews#book rant#rant review#book rant review#bad book#hate read#the kiss of the basilisk#minors dni#books#reading#readers
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Sorry y'all this one's gonna be a long one lol fun analysis/theorizing/headcanoning whatever the fuck this is under the cut :)
So, lately I've been really thinking about Lambo and Tsuna's relationship, Lambo's connection to Vongola, and Lambo's spot as the Lightning Guardian. I know as a fandom, we tend to disregard Lambo because he has like.. two fights in the whole series or wish that someone else was made the Lightning Guardian because that boy is Literally Five. And I won't act like it wouldn't have been cool to see another character as Lightning Guardian (My Haru Guardian fans rise up where are you) but I think what Amanos done here is really fun too from an analysis perspective.
To start with, Tsuna's family is not really a..traditional Mafia family or even a traditional Vongola family either. Let's look at this here, he's got his Two Best Friends(TM), his crush's big brother, the leader of the Disciplinary Committee at his school, a criminal, a half dead girl, and the aforementioned five year old as his guardians. This is FAR from what's likely expected out of the Vongola family, even when you date it back to Primo AT LEAST PRIMO HAD PRINCES, PRIESTS, SAMURAIS as his guardians. (Though he gets away with having One Best Friend (TM) as his guardian.) Yet somehow, their family makes it work!! They survive the Mafia world, multiple times throughout the series and when it's not working they get stronger as a unit and they fight for each other and make it out together. And I think that's the beauty of their specific family.
So then you have Lambo, who Tsuna would do anything for just to avoid Lambo having to experience a fraction of the shit they go through. And Tsuna actually SUCCEEDS at this, he doesn't normally succeed when it comes to being avoidant of Mafia stuff but this was something throughout the series that he was so genuinely adamant against. He only let Lambo fight when he truly had to and even then he very minimally let the Mafia world wrap its greedy paws around Lambo. Kokuyo arc, Tsuna didn't even sort of kind of a little bit consider taking Lambo with them (which would later help keep Kyoko and Haru safe), Varia arc, knowing that this would disqualify him, Tsuna decided he could not allow Lambo to keep fighting.

Future Arc, Tsuna kept Lambo out of the fight as much as he could, allowing the non-fighters to take care of him and I-pin. Shimon Arc, Tsuna felt real regret at the prospect that he allowed Lambo to come.

(And Arco arc where Lambo was hardly present at either, which I'd like to imagine that if Lambo was involved in Arco arc then Tsuna may have just absolutely fucking died)
Tsuna to Lambo is not his guardian (Frankly, he doesn't view any of his guardians as such, they are his friends, his pride, his comrades, and those he has traded blows with and knows they can be trusted.) Lambo to Tsuna is his little brother. This five year old was sent on an assassination attempt that was absolutely in no circumstance meant to actually succeed and the Bovinos know that. To send Lambo to assassinate the strongest hitman was a death mission. So, Tsuna took this child in (or rather this child stuck around bc his Mom makes banger meals) and immediately Tsuna assumes the role of his brother. Lambo and Tsuna are the closest out of all the kids. (Ofc Tsuna loves I-pin and fuuta too, but I think it's safe to say Lambo is his dumb little brother)

Now, I don't think that Tsuna is ever going to see Lambo as anything but his little brother. I actually theorize that the way TYL Lambo is the way he is because Tsuna never really got out of the habit of babying him. He's calmed down since he was a kid and developed a more nonchalant personality with the occasional tantrum because you can't tell me Tsuna DOESNT STILL view TYL Lambo as a non-combatant. When Tsunas 15, he looks at 5 year old Lambo and goes no thanks that boy is never touching a weapon in his life. When Tsunas is 25, he sees 15 year Lambo and goes that is STILL a child he is never touching a weapon in his life. And yes he's completely unaware of the hypocrisy in my head.

This is a spoiled little brother no one can tell me otherwise.
So we know Tsuna just sees him as his kid brother and not a real guardian. But then you have Lambo's feelings about the whole matter. We know that Lambo doesn't really consider Tsuna a boss but as his big brother, but I don't think that changes a lot for Lambo. While fighting is scary for Lambo, he still desires to follow alongside Tsuna and his friends. He doesn't want to be left behind and makes Tsuna promise him he'll take him wherever he goes. He sees Tsuna freaking out about him being a child in a battlefield and he goes, "No you don't understand, I want to be there."

And that? That right there is what fucks me up after everything. Lambo as a concept for a Lightning Guardian feels really unique because of this. He's the youngest one. He's always going to chase after the others, trying to keep up with them, to walk alongside them. One day, he wants to catch up and be considered a rightful Guardian like the others. And that is so... Tsuna and him would be batting heads over this because I cannot see Tsuna relenting on Lambo staying out of the battle. I cannot see Tsuna ever feeling like Lambo's ready. Not because he thinks Lambo is weak, but because Lambo's his baby brother and Tsuna needs him more away from the battle or else he can't focus.

While Tsuna doesn't react outwardly in this frame, I do think it's not a coincidence that he could focus on fighting the battle and not be "impatient" as Reborn put it, the moment he saw Gokudera and Hibari on the battlefield. He could focus easier knowing his friends were running around saving Lambo and co.
Okay, so you have the Big brother who wants to protect his little brother from seeing the same stuff he does, from fighting the same battles he does, and wants him to grow up as a regular kid (a right which he had been robbed off the moment a certain hitman showed up at his door). Then you have the little brother who wants wholeheartedly to be there, desires to catch up to his big brother and know the world that his big brother knows.
How does this difference in value get addressed? well it doesn't because Lambo is still 5 and Shounen jump are cowards for ending Amanos series when they did <3 B U T we have this.

We all know this scene for when we rewatched Reborn for the first and went "..wait.." because that was some actually sweet foreshadowing from Amano. Okay, so. We have a Lambo who finally did it. Finally is someone worthy of being called the Vongola Lightning Guardian. And Tsuna and co are implied to have just been... Gone. All of Tsuna's efforts to raise this kid in a regular life are ripped away because something happens to HIM, not Lambo. And from Lambo's perspective, he's caught up finally but the person he was following isn't around anymore. He didn't think he'd see him again. I think it's safe to assume that this scene either implies that something happens to Tsuna in his 30s (since we know he wasn't actually dead TYL) OR 20yl Lambo is from a parallel world where Byakuran had actually won and actually took Tsunas life.
And I think that's some real meat to bite into for these characters. A little brother who will lose his big brother if he doesn't do something, get stronger in time. A big brother who won't let him join the battle because he's afraid of losing HIS little brother. A Vongola Lightning Guardian who wants to be a shield for his Boss, and a Boss won't let him be a shield.
And that? That's a good concept for a Vongola Lightning Guardian.
Thank you for reading this far if you did :] this is a bit of a ramble but I was thinking about it and I felt it nice to share. I hope maybe I shared some of my brain worms with you <3
#katekyo hitman reborn#khr#sawada tsunayoshi#lambo bovino#ough this was a long one#why cant i make regular haha funny one liners#whys everything gotta be a thesis paper i s2g
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More thoughts on Mockingjay
Howdy bitches im back with more thoughts hehehe. (Im in chapter 18)
- hey ouchie !! I need a bandaid for my heart
- Finnick is the only one being a real friend to katniss in this mega bunker. He is the only one who isnât trying to get something from her.
- PEETA IS HOME
- worst reunion ever
(except for Finnick and Annieâ 20/10 no notes)
- Peeta is mean now :( attempted murder is not cute dude
- Gale. What you did in district 2. Too much. Doing way too much. The most actually. You compared people to wild dogs and ran that logic all the way up to justifying suffocating people to death.
- GALE QUESTIONING IF THEY CAN TRUST DISTRICT 2 IS CRAZY! YOU WANNA TRAP AND SUFFOCATE PEOPLE IN A MOUNTAIN AND COMPARED THEM TO WILD DOGS!!! YOU ARE WILLING TO GO TO SUCH EXTREMES DUDE!! HOW DO WE KNOW IF WE CAN TRUST YOU???
- what part of blow up the mountainâ who cares about suffocating people from D2â says Iâm a trustworthy guy. Gale. I fear you have lost the plot.
- âyou think Iâm heartlessâ Gale who blew up a mountain and helped develop weapons that exploit human empathy, compassion, and fear Hawthorne
- beetee why are you helping make these weapons. I thought we were cool.
- FINNICK AND ANNIE WEDDING!!! PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!
- I love the detail about Finnick always holding Annieâs handâ the light hearted detail we all needed
- love Finnick and Katnissâs friendship. They are the best friends ever.
- GALE THINKING FINNICK WANTED KATNISS HAD ME SHOCKED AND ROLLINGâ GIRL WHAT? THIS MAN CRIES HIMSELF TO SLEEP THINKING ABOUT ANNIE AND WAS INCOHERENT AND LIVING IN A HOSPITAL BED FOR MAJORITY OF THE TIME THEY HAVE BEEN IN 13â FINNICK IS DESPERATE YESâ DESPERATE TO SEE IS W I F Eâ WERE YOU NOT WATCHING THE QUARTER QUELL????
- the found family is found familyingâ Haymitch comforting katniss like he is her dad and peeta is his son in law.
- the capital had no leverage against Haymitch until katniss and peeta ;-; ouch
- snow you ugly bitch. When I catch youâ
- Peeta. I know the lights are not on inside the house but I will bitch slap you to the pearly gates if you ever disrespect Mags like that again.
- this love triangle needs to die. QUICKLY!! Multiple points in the book I have said out loud âwho fucking caresâ because it is not me anymore. There is a war morons. Why are yâall making out in the woods itâs weird. I hate it. Kill it.
- when Joanna is the only one who isnât bumming me out you know things are bad.
- still hate Gale. His extremism is frustrating. Not everything is black and white and I just wish he could be okay with the gray areas of things.
- Coin and Snow are cut from the same cloth. The only difference between them is geographical location. They function off the same ideology. Absolute control. Coin doesnât want to change the system snow perpetuatesâ she just wants to be in charge. BOOOOOOOOO YOU STINK !!!
- very smart and thematic but Coin needs to get kicked.
- Prim vs Plutarch â YUUUUUP YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP
- the crazy cat analogy hurt my feelings. Ouchie
- love the companionship between Boggs and Kantiss
- Katniss missing her dadâ ow ow ow ow ow ow
#the hunger games#haymitch abernathy#mockingjay#finnick odair#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#gale hawthorne#annie cresta#mags flanagan#primrose everdeen
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I think the worst part about all of this is, from the vantage I have been put in, I have developed Views that would make my own Eat Me Alive, but I don't have to speak them. Within a handful of years they will be the new reality, and they will fix many issues for us, if the left allows it to.
What if I said most of what Musk is doing is things I'd want to do if I had no morals and infinite power? Like completely destroying multiple frames of the government so we could rebuild them?
What if I said I think DEI departments SHOULD implode since it's always taken over by white women anyway? That it's just inflating extra HR departments when we could have like, the department of DEI?
What if I said you did, indeed, fuck over the trans community in multiple angles, and you won't understand until we're deflated by force? What if you've been trained to destabilize us thinking you're helping? What if half of your dialogues were inserted by bad faith actors the same as the rest of politics? Oh, you think the gays are IMMUNE?
I'm not going to keep catching children from our mistakes my own community won't look at, forever.
I shouldn't have to tolerate "I want to be trans" from kids ripping out their hair and violently bashing their heads off their wall while slitting their wrists open because literally anyone desperate to find any identity can only think of one way to wedge it in now. Nobody WANTS to be trans, you're TRANS or you're NOT. "I'm trans. I want to be cis." that's one statement. "I want to be trans" while having a complete psychotic episode once a day, that's not it kids, that's not it.
Even right now, the other ways this shows. "I'll never be cis, so I want to die." Okay? So you've been presented with gender variance and this has become a fatalistic thing? There's no buffers or rails or therapy or counseling in our community anymore, everybody piles in, the gates are open to avoid "gatekeeping" but it lets in every shitheaded bad faith actor until I have "therians" showing up on my LGBTQ hotline.
There is a reason trans ideology is vastly spiked in the west. Ranging from the aforementioned desperation to find any identity which has only been marketed with some LGBTQIA+ label to glue on our heads until spiritual ideologies and furry ideologies and everything else are trying to fight their way in to be "valid", from bad faith actors, and from western luxury, where frankly, I'm gonna say it. Most people living in Gaza blowing up literally do not have the time for this horse shit, this comes from sitting in your thoughts too long, literally. When you're trying desperately to figure out who you are in a constructed society. Are there a few trans people in Gaza, I'M SURE, but I don't know if you notice, their focus goes to other fucking things. China and Rednote are fucking fine posting their gays with a small rainbow emoji, but are openly telling Americans to stop their obnoxious rainbow flag spam the fuck off.
My point is. We fucked up. We thought we were doing right, all doors open, nothing rejected, no bars on treatment, lowered counseling expectations, but all we've done is destabilize the shit out of a generation that just had the rug pulled on them on the illusion of safety after convincing them to wear their rainbow flags like badges to be rounded up by and mocked for once the climate shifted.
We fucked up.
It's time to start assessing how we fucked up so we can do better.
Real question guys, do you think this actually helped anyone, or do you think it raised hostility? Did this improve our ability to govern efficiently and actually help these categories, or is it an act of self gratification and insertion by attempting to apply social force rather than build a sustainable society?
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When the Gates of Heaven Have No Locks: A Humble Christian's Musings on Papal Wisdom
Ah, Pope Francisâthe gift that keeps on giving. Just when I thought I'd caught up with the latest episodes of "How to Challenge Traditional Doctrine in 10 Easy Steps," our beloved pontiff drops another gem. This time, he's taken a bold stand against those pesky southern border controls, calling attempts to close them "madness." Well, who needs national security when you have divine intervention, right?
I must admit, I'm thoroughly enlightened by the idea that borders are so last millennium. After all, if the gates of heaven are open to all, why shouldn't our national borders follow suit? I'm sure the Vatican will be the first to tear down its walls and open its lavish halls to anyone with a backpack and a dream. Oh wait, that's not happening? Color me surprised.
But let's not stop at borders. Pope Francis has graciously informed us that "every religion is a way to arrive at God." Fantastic news! So, all those centuries of theological debates and councils were just one big misunderstanding. Who knew that the narrow path Jesus spoke of was actually a six-lane highway with multiple exits and a food court?
It's heartwarming to see the Pope promoting unity by effectively telling us that exclusivity is overrated. Why bother adhering to specific doctrines when all roads lead to the same destination? It's like being on a spiritual road trip where every wrong turn still gets you to Disneyland.
Now, some might argue that this dilutes the core message of Christianity. But let's be honest, clarity is overrated. Ambiguity adds that zest of adventure to faith, doesn't it? Plus, it gives us more time to focus on pressing issues like debating the morality of razor wire at borders. Because nothing says "love thy neighbor" like leaving your front door wide open in a rough neighborhood.
Speaking of love and acceptance, I'm eagerly awaiting the Pope's endorsement of blessing literally anything that moves. He reportedly questioned why we would bless corrupt businessmen but hesitate to bless same-sex unions. A fair pointâwhy have standards at all? Let's just have a universal blessing day. Bring your pets, your houseplants, maybe that toaster that's on the fritz. Let's spread that holiness around like butter on warm toast.
In all seriousness, it's a challenging time to be a traditional Christian. When the spiritual leader of your faith seems keen on rewriting the playbook, it does make one ponder. Perhaps I'm old-fashioned, clinging to the red letters in my Bible like they're actually important. Silly me.
But hey, who am I to question the direction in which the winds of modern doctrine blow? I'm just a humble believer trying to navigate the increasingly choppy waters of contemporary theology. Maybe next week, we'll learn that sin is just a social construct and that confessionals are being converted into fair trade coffee shops.
Until then, I'll be here, re-reading the Sermon on the Mount and wondering if there's an updated version I missedâperhaps something along the lines of "Blessed are the indifferent, for they shall inherit whatever's left."
Disclaimer: This post is saturated with sarcasm and a dash of exasperation. It's penned by a Christian who deeply respects the papal office but is, shall we say, perplexed by recent developments. If you've found any of this offensive, please take a moment to reflect on whether open dialogue is still a valued component of our faith.
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my mean gills mutual: you should post your mean gills thoughts
okay so what i find most interesting about mean gills' dynamic is the way scott acts in it â we can see from prev seasons that scott cares very deeply about keeping up his image & his control in situations, to the point where he will literally go to such an extreme extent (like blowing himself up in dl's finale) if it means he's perceived as 'good' in the end â and that plays a super big factor in mean gills' relationship!!
when martyn attempts to ally with him, scott already has leverage over him due to martyn's failed explosion kill / trying to discreetly kill scott while insisting he's not the boogey, so scott feels confident he's not going to owe martyn anything and even directly remarks on this ("you've come crawling back, haven't you")
this ties in to their dynamic all season!! mean gills has some really interesting parallels to renchanting which i think about a normal amount â guided (from screenshot above) has been rewatching martyn's liml and they noticed that martyn acts very protective of scott "time to engage bodyguard mode" & "on full mean gill protection services today", along with the just kill me martyn scene, where martyn visibly feels very guilty about killing scott and tries to justify the kill by telling the surrounding crowd how it wasn't betrayal because it was requested (and earlier in the episode gets hugely stressed about accidentally setting a trap on scott and apologizes multiple times)
they slowly develop this codependent relationship where as the season gets more hectic and red names start killing, they stick to each other because they're all they have, they can't leave because the rest of the server either dislikes them or are distrustful of them. i think this is partially an explanation for martyn's guard dog behaviour (and this has even more of an impact if you look back at last and double life where he had very little trust + very little allies) so he's doing everything he can to keep scott on board with him overall :D
1 note and i'll post my mean gills thoughts
#joel in ep4 after martyn protests about them killing scott for the millionth time: âoh you're his best friend or whateverâ#txt#mean gills#i'm normal
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Could you maybe write something with dark dark Steve who has a huge size kink and crying kink and loves to humiliate?
School Days
Note: sorry it took so long. been kinda down. also hope i did OK with humiliation.
Summary: Co-worker makes you feel uncomfortable.
Warning: 18+Only, short reader, size kink, crying kink, humiliation kink, non consent, forced fingering and cock warming i think
Dark Coach Steve x Short Teacher Reader
đ
You had always had a love of teaching. Growing up your friends would always groan when it was your turn to pick what to play, because you always chose to play school.
You knew exactly what you wanted to do when you got to college. You wanted to shape young minds. It was fascinating watching them grow and learn right before your very eyes.
Shelby elementary hired you two years after you received all of your certificates. Replacing their beloved Mrs.Pepper Potts after she moved out of town with her husband.
You taught first graders. You preferred teaching the lower grades. The higher grades were a bit difficult. Competing for attention when most of the students where dealing with raging hormones proved an exhausting endeavor. Your short stature became a reoccurring issue too. During your student teacher days you realized the taller they got the more they seemed to not take you seriously.
At least working with the lower grades you were less likely to be confused as a student. You had lost track of how many times you were stopped in the hall by a colleague. With the lower grades you towered over your class and commanded respect with little effort.
đ
You felt exhausted. Your first parent teacher meeting was over. It was endearing and encouraging that so many parents had so many concerns about the development of their little ones. But their critiques on your credentials didn't fail to strike a nerve, an issue new teachers faced all the time. You smiled through it as you normally did. Letting them have their back handed remarks as you answered and waited out the clock.
When it was all over you needed a drink. You cleared up the mess they left for you, a preview of what to expect from their spawn.
When everything was in its place you tackled the blackboard. Taking out your stool you stood on tip toes erasing. You had the bright idea of outlining your curriculum on the board for all the parents to view. It was hard getting it all on the massive board, but with your step stool you got as high as you could go.
"Hey! Whoa you know that's dangerous." A voice rushed to your side as your stool tilted.
"Are you OK little one?" he asked helping you down.
God he's tall. You barely came eye to eye with his chest. You tensed in his arms and when he realized his mistake he released you.
"Oh sorry" he rubbed the back of his head slightly embarrassed. "I'm Steve Rogers." He reached out a hand for you to shake. You took it and introduced yourself. His firm grip swallowed your hand, when he squeezed you held in the hurt from the pressure.
Steve's presence was intimidating despite the smile he wore. When he released your hand, you took as step back, but he stepped forward.
He is just a close talker. Don't over analyze.
"Sorry again with your clothes I just assumed you were..." He motioned at your clothing.
Taking inspiration from Ms Frizz, your favorite animated teacher, you always wore colorful puffy skirts that depicted various things related to education or fairy tails. The look kept the attention of the youngsters, but it certainly didn't look childish.
"It's OK, but I am afraid you are a bit late for the meeting."
Spinning away you move to the other side of your desk to give yourself more space. "If you wouldn't mind filling in your information, encase of emergencies or special needs. I know you probably filled it out for the front office, but I like to have my own copy." You explained as you handed him a pen and the piece of construction paper with the other parents info.
He took it and filled it out. "I just erased the curriculum, but I can email you a copy."
"Did you also used to teach at Camdien?" Steve inquired, bending over your desk as he wrote. While you waited you packed up your belongings.
"Um yes I was a student teacher there. Did you have a child there too?"
"I coached there actually. Well was." He rose and approached you. Slipping your purse straps on your shoulder, you tried to remember if you seen his face before. You didn't recognize it. As striking as he was you doubted you would forget it.
But the athletic department lived in a world separate from the teachers. Their multiple championships brought in funding that went to their brand new athletic facility. The highly coveted building allowed them to live above the peasant class of the faculty. You had even heard a nonsensical rumor that they even had a Starbucks and onsite masseuse.
When he handed it back you reached out, but Steve pulled the paper just out of reach. Hovering it over your head like a bully playing keep away. You huff and frown after two attempts. You were not a child and would not be treated as such. Pursing your lips you made a move to leave. You would just go through the admin office to get the information.
"Aw don't pout, but I must say you do look adorable when you do." He smiled down at you as he blocked your retreat. His wholesome grin did not match the darkness in his eyes. There was a disconnect somewhere. You felt like a mouse before a lion. Were the other teachers like this? You were so eager to get started working you did little research in the school that so swiftly hired you. "Here you go."
Snatching the paper away you say, "thank you." It sounded slightly annoyed, but you did your best to choke down the edge.
Unhooking the lip of your bag you placed it with the others as his shadow clouded you. Ignoring it you side step him.
"Yeah I remember. I used to see you at Camdien." Steve recalled, blocking you once more. You stopped just short of bumping into him as you closed your bag. "Cute little thing, roaming the halls." Steve informed you, stepping closer once more, making you take a step back. The alarm bells blared in your head at that comment.
"Boy wasn't I relieved I wasn't crossing the line with all the thoughts I had." He chuckled as your back hit the chalkboard. You had to strain your neck to look him in the eye this close.
The principal was making his rounds soon. He wouldn't try anything right?
"Mr. Rogers-"
"Coach" he interrupted. He didn't touch you but that fact gave you very little relief. You felt your nails dig into your palm as you gripped the thin strap of your bag. Your arm the only barrier between you two. "Just call me Coach."
"Rogers!" Your saving grace, Principal Barnes, exclaimed from the door. Steve's body blocked you from James. "There you are. Nice to see your getting to know your colleagues."
"Yeah, just sharing stories from Camdien" Steve stepped aside to greet Principal James. His hand landed on the top of your head, messing your hair as he patted you playfully like a dog. You swallowed the discomfort as he moved to talk to James. You gathered the rest of your things as they focused their attention on each other.
"Oh yeah I forgot you both came from their."
You took that opportunity to make your exit. Walking fast mumbling a 'goodnight,' you bolted toward the door. They replied back, but you ignored it, allowing their chatter to fade the further down the hall you got.
đ
The first week of school was hectic. Lost students, late students, little accidents here and there, it ran the gambit. But nothing worried you more than P.E. period.
Steve was listed as your classes gym teacher and made the drop-off a chore. It surprised you how increasingly inappropriate he was becoming. Always stretching out your name flirtatiously in front of the children causing them to taunt you with 'OOO's, and pepper you with questions about the nonexistent relationship until you departed.
They stayed in line as you approached the double doors that led to the gymnasium. He was there, dressed in his sweat pants, gym shirt and the whistle dangled from his lips.
As you ushered them inside he caught site of you as he wrangled another group and smirked. It was unnerving especially when your students egged him on by making kissy noises loudly when they noticed him too. On one occasion he sent a note with one of your students asking you out. You ignored it.
You should've reported him you know, but what would they say 'Oh he was just being friendly' or any number of things to justify his behavior. You'd been in enough situations to know without evidence that met their standards nothing would happen.
đ
In the teachers lounge Steve made his presence known. You stared at your custom coffee mug as it sat high on the edge of the third shelf. You had half a mind to take and break his, as it taunted you from the first. You were growing more and more tired of his antics. This wasn't the first time and you knew it wouldn't be the last.
Two arms planted themselves on either side of you as something rested on your head.
It was him you knew it. Who else would it be?
"Need some help little one?" He hummed.
"God damn it Steve get off me" you barked You elbowed him, but the mountain of a man didn't budge.
"No need to be nasty."
You felt him push you into the counter, crushing you against it as he reached for your cup on the high shelf.
"Here you go" he said placing it daintily in front of you.
Calm down don't blow your lid he is doing this to fuck with you.
"Shouldn't you be watching my class?" You asked as you waited for him to move out of your way.
"Student teacher got me covered. You remember what that's like? Give them the work while we teachers kick back and relax."
He backed away allowing you to get the coffee, but stayed glued to your side. You ignored him, pulling out your phone and flopped on the couch, waiting for gym time to end.
Steve of course sat next to you crowding you into the corner. He boldly placed a hand on your thigh, you brushed it off, cursing at him to 'go away'. If you got up he would only follow so you crossed your legs and leaned into the arm of the couch. Don't let him get to you.
Steve stretched out his arm on the back of the couch. Even sitting next to you he towered over you. His arm wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you in snugly. Your head resting against his tone chest. "God your so adorable."
"Steve!" you almost shriek at him as his other hand slyly crept under your skirt. "Jesus Christ what the hell is wrong with you."
You try to stand suddenly, but get jerked back down. Landing in the same awkward situation as before.
"Fuck you let me go" you hissed at him. He only chuckled as you tried to stop his hand from advancing up your skirt again. You became panicked the further he got.
Clamping your thighs tightly together as he wedged between your crossed legs. Your eyes shifted to the door before you, the couch sat across from the only entrance. If anyone came in they surely would be under the wrong assumptions.
His arm refused to budge as you attempted to pry him away. Steve was nothing but muscle, struggling was getting you no where, each shift pressed him hard against your sensitive area.
đ
"You know I've been nothing, but nice to you" Steve sounded disappointed.
"Stop please" you sounded panicked and desperate. Your nails dug into his arm as you tried to fight back an ache that taunted you as he teased.
"But you always give me attitude." He stated casually.
You slapped him. The sound loud in the empty room. Your eyes blurred with tears of frustration. Your hit did nothing, only leaving his cheek red, but from the smile on his face he liked it.
"And violent too. Hope you don't act that way around your class" he tsked while poking hard at the growing wet spot. You felt your spine curve and breath become heavier, your toes curled in your shoes as he increased his friction.
"Oh look at you. You like that don't you" he teased rubbing circles after noticing the tension in your legs relax. You cocked back to slap him again, but stopped when you felt his other hand at the back of your neck. It squeezed softly, but it was a warning nonetheless. You felt defeated. Not only was Steve bigger than you, he was stronger. Tears of frustration finally fell as you lowered your hand and let him do as he pleased.
"God your even cuter when you cry." He preened. "Tell you what. Since we don't have that much time....Kiss me and I will stop." You bristled as you felt him peel your panties to the side.
He didn't wait for your reply. Steve crashed his lips on to yours without warning. You flinched expecting pain, but it was soft. It was so tender that with anyone else they would given and close their eyes, accept it, but you couldn't.
"Stop..Steve.. Please" You panted over his lips, pushing at his chest as his fingers pushed into you. He didn't stop, the kiss only embolden him to go further. You whimpered and moaned as he took from you.
"Give me your panties" he asked pulling away from you, but his fingers still curled inside. "You promised you'd stop" you remind him, wiping away tears.
He wasn't going to relent, you could tell by the determination in his eyes. You felt exposed and embarrassed. Anyone could walk in at any moment and he knew it. He would probably get a slap on the wrist while you would need to find employment else where to escape the shame.
"I promise this time" he said lowly. "No tricks."
Swallowing your pride you lifted in your seat, he moved just enough to let the fabric pass. Rolling them down your knees quickly you hand them over. His hands slipped from you as you pass it. He held them up to the light and examined the wetness he created. Wiping away tears, you stood and bolted toward the door, but stopped when Steve whistled loudly.
"I think you forgot something."
You turned to find him pointing at your discarded mug.
"If you leave it, I leave this in it", he waved your shame in the air.
"Don't forget to wash it....don't want it to leave a stain" he ordered from the couch. You walked back on edge. Snatching the mug from the other side of the table. You rushed to the sink and rinsed your cup. More tears fell as you felt the wetness between your legs. The mirror mounted above the sink allowed you to examine yourself. Your mascara bled a bit and lipstick smeared, but nothing that couldn't be fixed with a dab of a napkin.
You swore to never step foot in the lounge ever again. If you needed to eat you would do it in your car or at your desk. This was supposed to be a magical time for you, but with Steve it had turned into a nightmare.
You sniffed as you blinked away the tears, forcing yourself to stop crying. Gym time was almost over and you needed to pull yourself together and collect your class.
"You know how often I wonder about you" Steve said rising from the couch, you watched him carefully from the mirror. You fumbled your mug, the water splashing back at you.
"Steve you promised" you said meekly, utterly defeated. He stared at you through the mirror, you felt his eyes watch your discomfort as you picked up the cup.
"What would the parents think if they knew their kids teacher walks around the class with no panties on" he tutted. You hung your head low and noticed your panties balled up in his hand as he rested it on the counter.
"I also wonder" He said pressing you into the sink. You felt his resolve through his sweat pants. "Do you fit?"
Fit?
Then it became clear. You felt his cock against your backside. You tried frantically to flea, but Steve caught you by the neck.
"I'm willing to bet you can't even fit half of me inside" he whispered in your ear as he bent you over the sink, crushing. "If I'm wrong I will let you go." Your eyes rounded as he hauled up your skirt. You whimpered as the cool air of the staff room tickled your exposed rear.
Steve was really going to fuck you in the staff room. These walls were paper thin and he knew it. Your head swirled in panic as you pleaded with him to stop. He only chuckled and shimmied down his sweat pants as you swatted back at him.
He angled and aligned himself as you sobbed. The tip slipped through your wet thighs, finding the target of its need.
You choked down a guttural moan as he breathed out 'good girl'. He watched your face as every inch stretched through your insides.
"Its is too much" you gasped out, trembling from the pressure, dancing on your tip toes as you adjusted around him.
"Its all inside" he praised the accomplishment. Forcing you to look at the mirror. "You fit me so good...see."
The mirror reflected your assault to your horror. "All cute holding me inside, taking everything I got" he said while stretching you.
Shooting pains radiated from your core as sharp breaths escaped you.
"Look at you" he taunted "coming apart just for me.... "
You heard the door to the room open and close quickly as you panted wildly. Steve didn't pull out, unabashed, letting whomever take in his pale ass as he continued to stuff you.
You didn't know who saw you, you only hoped his massive body hid you and your shame.
đ
#dark steve x reader#dark steve x black reader#dark!steve x reader#dark!steve x black!reader#black writer
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I THINK THIS IS WHERE I REQUEST SO IVE JUST HAD AN AMAZING IDEA. So, Gerard x reader. This could go two ways. Way number 1- reader and Gerard hate each other, or way number 2- reader and Gerard are dating. So the reader is messing around with Gerard or heâs annoyed at the reader and he gets really close to the reader and the reader just moans. Like on accident they moan at him. And theyâre both in shock and reader locks themselves in their room and one of the other band members comes in somehow and are like âitâs okay, also Gerard wants to see youâ for way number 1- Reader comes to see gerard and makes out with reader or for way 2- gerard is like âitâs okay, donât be embarrassedâ and theyâre just in love cutely. I hope this wasnât confusing (but i know it was).
Summary: Gerard hates (y/n) who is Ray Toroâs sibling, after a while, they get annoyed with the constant insults and the rest so they decide to hate him back. They annoy Gerard afterwards for months, back and forth bickering until Gerard accidentally makes them moan leading to confessions from the both of them.
Enemies to lovers, Gerard Way x gender neutral!reader
Warnings: making out, smoking (cigarettes), swearing, alcohol, no smut but kinda heated
Word count: 1.9K
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Long car rides are boring but not today, today Iâm sat next to Gerard. One of my favourite things is to annoy him and get him riled up, itâs quite entertaining to watch. He hates me, I donât know why because I never did anything to make him hate me.Â
When they were looking for a drummer I turned up for the audition and joined the band a week later. We started rehearsals and I was nervous as shit, what if they only let me join because Rayâs my brother? I did everything I could to make the others like me, I was polite, early and did my best in rehearsals but for some reason the frontman just didnât like me. Everytime I tried to talk to him or be his friend heâd brush me off or be rude and after a while it started to affect me because even though I didnât want to admit it, I had developed a crush on him.
I asked the rest of the guys if they knew why he didnât like me but none of them came up with any good ideas, a few joking âwhat if he has a crush on youâs came up from Frank. I felt my heart flutter at the thought but I tried not to get my hopes up.
So once Iâd been in the band for a while and had attempted multiple times to be Gerardâs friend I decided that I wouldnât let him keep making me feel like shit. Instead of trying to be his friend I started answering back and matching his energy. If he doesnât want to be my friend then I donât want to be his. It also might have been me overcompensating for liking him but we donât talk about that part.
So on this car ride, weâre using a five seater car but thereâs five of us so weâre all cramped together except from the guys in the front, Mikeyâs driving and Frankâs next to him sorting out the GPS and maps. Obviously I was put next to Ray (in the middle) because weâre siblings and best friends and that leaves Gerard who was put on the other side of me.
The whole car ride was full of us bickering and arguing, I would prod his shoulder and do stupid things like that which annoy him. Everytime I saw him nodding off I would ask him if he was asleep therefore waking him up and annoying him.
âHey, hey Gerard.â I whisper to him but he doesnât reply. âHey, I know youâre awake.â I say starting to prod his shoulder.Â
â(y/n) leave me alone.â He says surprisingly calm. âYouâve been bothering me the entire time.â
âYeah, well itâs not my fault you smoke in the car and are a bitch about everything.â I say talking about when I took his cigarette and threw it out the window because it smelled bad.
âIâm not a bitch.â
âOh, you so are.â I counter him, smirking. âYouâre such a bitch that you canât even admit it.â I say laughing.
âYouâre insufferable, you know that?â He asks rolling his eyes
âOnly for you, baby.â I say blowing him a mocking kiss.Â
Silence fills the car and I turn around to see everyone but Mikey (whoâs driving) looking at us.
âWhat?â I ask with a chuckle then turn to look at Gerard. His arms are crossed and heâs starring out the window in silence.
âFirst time Iâve seen him silent in a while.â Frank jokes from the front.
âShut up, Frankie.â Gerard says sounding very pissed off.
âOkay, everyone, thereâs not long left, just leave each other alone.â Ray says trying to calm everyone down.Â
I turn around to Ray and we just talk quietly for the rest of the ride. He wasnât wrong and there was only thirty minutes till the next tour stop.Â
This show is one of the biggest shows on the tour so the place weâre staying is slightly bigger and nicer. We grab our night bags, basically the bags with our pajamas. The rest of the bags will be unpacked tomorrow when either we can be bothered to do it or someone will bring them in.Â
I grab mine and yawn as I walk towards the hotel weâre staying in.
Someone signs us in and we make our way up the stairs to our rooms. We each have our own room and beds but thereâs a communal room attached to a kitchen.
Once everyoneâs thrown their bags in their rooms they all regrouped in the lounge area. I walk in afterwards walking into the kitchen and I check the fridge for some beer. Grabbing one I walk over to where everyoneâs sat and slouch on the sofa.
âWhy do they keep giving us kitchens, we never use them.â I say opening the can.Â
âWhy donât you invest in a cook book and cook us all some food then.â Frank says jokingly.
âNah, not worth it.â I say resting my arm on the arm rest.
Gerard finally walks in and has to sit next to me because there are no other spaces. He pulls out a cigarette pack and lighter and starts clicking the lighter.Â
âSmoke outside!â I say not wanting to inhale the smoke.
âFine! Calm down.â He says jabbing me with his elbow and IâŚmoan.
My eyes go wide and my hand flies to my mouth. Frank looks shocked but amused. Rayâs head is in his hand and Mikeyâs already laughing. Gerard, I donât even want to look at him.
I stand up quickly and hurry out the room heading towards my room. I lock my door behind me and stand not moving a muscle still in shock.
âWhat the fuck is wrong with me? Oh my god!â I mutter to myself quietly now pacing around the room, head in hands.Â
I drag my hand through my hair, cringing at the memory of a few minutes ago. I feel my cheeks warming as I wonder whatâs going to happen next.Â
Is Gerard going to mock me? I know Frank and Mikey will. Is he gonna ignore me? Am I gonna get kicked out the band? I think that might be a bit too far but who knows.
A knock on the door disrupts my racing thoughts.
âGo away.â I say not knowing who it is.
â(y/n), itâs me, Ray, can you let me in?â He says and I groan before standing up and unlocking the door.Â
I sit on the bed and cover my face with my hands.
âHey, itâs okay.â He says sitting down next to me and placing his hand on my shoulders.
âNo, itâs not! Itâs so embarrassing!â I whisper shout still covering my face.
âIt happens to the best of us.â Ray tries to reassure me.
âNo, no it doesnât, has that ever happened to you before?â He stays quiet. âOr anyone you know?â He stays silent. âSee, itâs weird and embarrassing!â
âItâs not. Frank and Mikey arenât even talking about it, theyâve moved on. And Gerard, he wants to see you.â
âTell him I donât want to.â I say finally looking at Ray.
âJust talk to him, itâll be fine, and if itâs not we can kick Gerard out the band.â He says jokingly.
âUgh, fine. Where is he? Iâm not meeting him in the communal room.â I say scoffing at the thought of talking to him in front of the others.
âHe was in his room last time I saw him.â
âOkay, Iâll go when you leave, I need to mentally prepare myself for rejection and humiliation.â I say with a sarcastic smile and thumbs up.Â
He shakes his head before leaving, closing the door. I lay back on the bed and take a few deep breaths before leaving my room. The walk to his room feels like the walk to a slaughterhouse. Finally, I end up outside his door, I knock.
âItâs unlocked.â I hear him say from within so I push open the door and walk in finally looking him in the face. I shut the door behind me and wait for him to speak but he doesnât.
âCan we just get on with the rejection and humiliation please? I have things to do.â I ask him as he stands a few steps away from me.
He leans forward quickly, pouncing on my lips. He kisses me harshly and I stand in shock before pushing him off.
âNope, you canât do that!â I say annoyed. âYou canât hate me and ignore me then kiss me!â He steps back away from me.
âI donât hate you.â He says quietly.
âYes, you do, when I joined the band I tried to talk to you and befriend you many, many times and you either ignored me or were straight up insulting! Youâre just rude to me and you brush me off all the time!â
âYouâre the same to me.âÂ
âYeah, because I decided to not let you make me feel shitty anymore and match your energy. Youâre shitty to me so I am back to you.â I say like itâs obvious, sadness and anger dripping from my voice.
âIâm sorry.â He says with a sigh. âI-I just, I knew that if I was friends with you I wouldnât be able to stay away. I knew that I would catch feelings for you.â He pauses. âBut I guess it wouldnât have mattered because I did anyway.â He explains. âI thought you hated me aswell.âÂ
Silence fills the room at the unexpected confession I was definitely not ready for.
âI could never.â A small smile plays on my lips.
I grab his collar pulling him towards me. He stumbles but doesnât fall as our lips crash together. I feel my back pressed up against the wall as his arms pin me to it, my stomach is tied in knots as I thread my hands in his hair. The bleached strands frame his face and I tug on them experimentally and Gerard moans into my mouth. Separting, I pull apart from him and smirk.
âPay back for earlier.â I say and observe him. His cheeks are flushed red, his mouth open slightly releasing quick breaths, his eyes dreamy and loving. But he turns it on me quickly.
âI canât believe you moaned because I elbowed you-â He says mockingly.
I interrupt him, pulling him back in and kissing him. He pulls me forward slightly, pressing our bodies against each other, warmth spreading between us. Shivers run up my spine as my head is pushed against the wall. His confidence overwhelms mine as he pushes his tongue into my mouth, swirling it around mine, my eyes flutter close and I feel my stomach jump. He tastes of coffee and cigarette smoke. I hate cigarettes but he pulls it off so well, the remnants of smoke play on my taste buds as the kiss deepens.Â
He moves to stand inbetween my legs, pushing them apart, I moan at the sudden movement in between my thighs. Excitement overwhelms me and I feel my legs become weak.
âHey guys, I came to check on how things are going.â Ray says pushing the door open. We jump apart as soon as we hear him but itâs too late anyway. He covers his eyes quickly and backs out the door. âSorry, shouldâve knocked, umm, well done though.â He says the last part in a weaker voice. He mustâve realised I liked him at some point.
I stand next to the wall still looking at Gerard. âDo you think we broke him?â Gerard asks and I just shrug before pulling him back in by his shirt.
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AN: Thanks for the request, I hope you liked this @heaveaux!
Feel free to send in any requests you have, I'll make a post with all the people/shows/bands I'll write for.
#mcr#my chemical romance fanfiction#my chemical romance fanfic#my chemical romance#fanfic#fanfiction#mcr fanfiction#x reader#x yn#gerard way#gerard way x reader#mcr gerard#my chem#mikey way#ray toro#frank iero#my chemical romance x reader#my chemical romance x yn#x you#x you fluff#x gn reader#gender neutral reader#reader insert#gerard way x yn#gerard way x you#ray toro x platonic reader#writing request#emo bands#emo
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Paralyze.
Chapter 10
After the day of our first fight, Bakugou and I got kinda closer to each other. He had made me go to his house every day this past week, and we were now in that cafĂŠ to study the three of us together. Whenever he would hit Kirishima with a roll of paper it would make me chuckle and apologize to the poor waiters, thankfully they didn't kick us out because some people recognized us from the Sports Festival and asked us for pictures or autographs.
Even if Bakugou wasn't too cooperative, it wasn't like somebody wanted to get close to him.
The study went by quite easily for me, Bakugou just explained me some things and gave me his notes so I could study them, Kirishima was another story and poor Bakugou was having a hard time not blowing his face off. This was now our last day of studying and Bakugou rested his body on his seat, exhausted, while Kirishima was frantically writing the answers to a mini-test Bakugou gave him. I looked at the blonde, leaving the notes I was studying aside.
"You okay?" He groaned and turned his head towards me.
"I'm fine. Just kinda glad you're not as dumb," at the end of his sentence, he pointed at the redhead across from us.
My eyes traveled back to the notes I was reading and closed the notebook. "Do you want something to cheer you up?" Without me actually wanting to, my mouth said. He opened his eyes and stared at me for a few seconds, before showing me an evil smirk.
But is that... blush? I'm sure his cheeks are slightly pinker than before...
"We'll fight again, and if you lose, you have to buy me the most spicy curry." I scoffed and moved my attention to his notes once again.
"As you wish."
//////
"I win, again." My eyes were looking at a defeated Bakugou panting on the ground. He was sweating and his breath was horribly uneven, I was getting a bit worried. "Bakugou... are you okay?" I walked to him and touched his shoulder, but he smacked my hand away.
"I'm fine! One more... I'll win this time, one more time..." he tried to stand up, but his legs failed him.
"You are not fine..." I muttered and got on my knees in front of him, "Let me help you." This time when I touched him he didn't attempt to push me away, instead he grabbed onto me as I lift him. "Can you walk?" After some seconds of waiting, he shook his head no and I sighed.
Well, this would look a bit weird.
I bent down my body and hook my arm under his legs, then I lift him bridal style. Now this was the weird part, Bakugou didn't try to push or punch me for carrying him, actually his grip tightened on my t-shirt and hid his face on my neck.
That caused my heart to thump aggressively against my chest, my body to shiver and my face to heat up.
The past few days I spent with Bakugou were really nice, but that also made me develop a... soft spot for him? Basically, I had a bit of a crush on him, but I didn't want to get my hopes up, but here he goes, being all cute and shit.
I walked inside his house, and his mother was there, as soon as I stepped in, she turned to us and squealed in a high-pitched voice.
"I have to take a picture of this! Masaru, get the camera!" Mitsuki ran toward us and pushed me to sit on their couch, I tried to stand up so I could take Bakugou to his room, but when I looked down at him I noticed his eyes closed and steady breath.
Did he fall asleep? So cute!
I was extremely sure I would have had hearts instead of eyes while I stared at his peaceful face. But when I snapped out of my trance, I heard multiple camera noises and flashes. I looked at Mitsuki and Masaru, the man seemed like he was feeling pity for me and that made me blush.
My grip tightened on Bakugou and I stood up abruptly, rushing to the stairs while trying not to trip. I could hear Mitsuki's complaints about wanting more photos, but I ignored her. When I got to his room it was a bit difficult to open the door but I managed, with my foot I closed it behind me and went to lay Bakugou on his bed.
I debated about if I should or shouldn't wake him up... maybe I should, he was all sweaty and it would be uncomfortable to sleep like that. I sat by his side and shook his shoulder.
"Bakugou..." I shook him some more, "Bakugou, wake up," he didn't react at all. "Maybe I should just leave. It's still early, he would wake up on his own." I stood up and grabbed my bag, which contained my previous change of clothes, the ones that were also sweaty and dirty. (If you are confused; you trained that morning, studied at the cafe, and trained again)
I opened his bedroom door and glanced at him.
"Goodnight, Katsuki."
//////
My eyes were wide and I felt my cheeks on fire. I couldn't take my eyes off the pictures sent to me by Mitsuki.
She had convinced me to give her my number a few days ago, and I wasn't sure if I regretted that decision, because she had sent me all of the pictures she took of Bakugou and me this afternoon. I could clearly see his face in some of them, while some other showed more the blush on my face and I got embarrassed.
Mrs.Bakugou;
I hope you like them, (M/n)!
Have a good night.
I stared at the pictures a bit more and decided to set my favourite one as my wallpaper. Yes, I would get a bit embarrassed every time I would turn on my phone, but it would be fine as long as nobody else sees it, right?
;I do like them, Mitsuki. Thank you.
;Good night to both of you.
A sigh escaped my lips as I set my phone on my nightstand and put it to charge. My body was tired and my mind was exhausted... I just wanted to sleep forever, but I still had school tomorrow. I closed my eyes and before I realized it, I fell asleep.
#paralyze fic#bakugou katsuki fanfic#bakugou x male#bakugou x male reader#male reader#reader insert#x reader
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Baseball Headcanons feat. AOT Men âžď¸
In light of Opening Day being cancelled (fuck Rob Manfred and everything he does), here's my attempt to console myself with some baseball headcanons. These will include YouTube links to funny moments in the MLB that I think each character would end up doing if they were Major League players themselves, so enjoy the laugh. Bonus points if you can guess my fave team from this lol
Characters featured: Zeke, Eren, Armin, Levi, Connie, Jean, Floch, Porco, Reiner.
âžď¸ Zeke
Obviously, he's a pitcher. Has a crazy arm.
Grows his facial hair out during the season. Refuses to cut it until the team loses and is kicked out of the playoffs - or until they win.
Oddly superstitious. Not quite Wade Boggs' level of superstitious, but is weird about things like eating certain foods or turning the ball in his hand twice before a pitch.
If he's in the National League, he totally hits when he can.
Pitches in the All-Star Game multiple times.
Claims to have a love-hate relationship with Levi Ackerman, despite having drinks with him a semi-regular basis and tweeting shit posts at each other.
Has been the victim of a mascot stealing from him, and he's never recovered since.
âžď¸ Eren
Catcher. 100%. Fight me on this.
Heâs signed to the same team as Zeke for his rookie year, and theyâre a force when theyâre on the field together.
Is able to play in an All-Star Game with his brother once, which was a special year for them.
He grows his hair out during the season but doesnât do the facial hair during the season. Says it gets too hot in the catcherâs mask with facial hair. Frankly, he debates cutting his hair halfway through the season every time because he forgets how hot it can be with all the gear on, but ultimately he gets chewed out by Zeke over the phone every time he considers it.
âBro itâs just hairââ âWe have a 12-game winning streak do not fucking cut itââ
Eren is notoriously friendly with fans. Will never turn down a kid for a signature or photograph if he can help it. Shadis (his teamâs manager) has to practically yank him away from the barriers before a game when heâs caught up signing for kids running up with their memorabilia and a marker.
Only time heâs been ejected from the field is during a spat with Jean, of course, during one of Jeanâs at-bat appearances when they were exchanging mumbled, angry words.
They made up after and next series of games, they quickly exchanged a brief bro-hug (you know the one) during pre-game warm ups.
âžď¸ Armin
Third Baseman.
Gives me Shohei Ohtani vibes in the sense that heâs an underdog. People donât expect much from him (throwback to the article saying Ohtani isnât any better than a high school hitter) and then he blows away expectations in games.
Heâs a switch-hitter and I will die on that hill.
Not a power-hitter, but heâs fast.
Fan favorite because heâs a big olâ softie and a cinnamon roll. On the flipside, this cinnamon roll also can crack a bat if heâs swinging hard enough.
Also super friendly with fans and other players alike. Doesnât get into beef with anyone, though heâs unafraid to call out executives and front offices when theyâre being shady and dumb. He brings facts and wonât be outsmarted.
Has tripped over the base after catching a pop-fly. Levi then signalled he was safe on base while straight-faced.
âžď¸ Levi
Pitcher.
Has a literal rivalry with Zeke. However, on the down-low theyâre actually good friends.
If one of their teams makes it to the post-season or World Series and the other doesnât, they do show support for the other.
Proof of the above statement is one year, Zekeâs team made it to the World Series, and Leviâs did not. You could see Levi in the stands during the game, though, sporting a jersey with Zekeâs name on the back. (Zeke did the same for Levi the following year when Leviâs team made it.)
He was on the same team as Jean during Jeanâs rookie year, and he took Jean under his wing to help him train and develop into the star player he is today.
Even though heâs had a strained relationship with his uncle, Kenny makes a point to show up to games when he can. Whenever Leviâs team makes it to the post-season or even the World Series, Kenny brings a photograph of Kuchel that he tucks in his pocket and holds when Leviâs at bat or pitching. The games that Levi wins, he clutches the photo and shouts, âThatâs our boy!â
Levi doesnât comment on this in interviews. He keeps it close to his chest because itâs not a moment to share with the world.
âžď¸ Connie
Shortstop.
Fan favorite. Resident goofball. Think Brett Phillips. Does the airplane on a home run, the whole nine yards. Everyone loves him because he adds a whole other layer of fun to the sport.
Professional Base Stealerâ˘ď¸
No, seriously. Heâs notorious for always trying even if he doesnât manage to pull it off, though heâs quick enough to always get back to where he was.
He once stole home in a game while Zeke was pitching, who was too shocked to be pissed off about it.
Totally the dude to (playfully) fuck around and joke with the other teamâs mascot before a game.
I wholeheartedly believe Connie would pull off this insane play where that Javier Baez did when he stole two bases after playing a weird game of chicken with the first baseman?? You just have to watch, but Connie would completely pull this shit off lol
âžď¸ Jean
Second baseman.
He has an on-going beef with Eren, but itâs mostly petty back and forth. Theyâre actually great friends who just get mouthy before games to rile up fans and excitement.
Has played in the All-Star Game a few times.
Also a switch-hitter.
Unfortunately, in the middle of a World Series game, he threw the ball at his own leg as he fell catching a ball mid-play. Heâs never been able to live this down. (Fortunately, they won that game, but this play certainly isnât forgotten!)
Heâs in the same club as Eren as far as the hair goes - during the season, heâll maintain the sides, but otherwise doesnât cut it.
Notorious for getting drunk and then going on live on Instagram and just chatting with his followers all night.
âžď¸ Floch
Center fielder.
Heâs a surprise power-hitter, which people didnât expect initially because heâs not stocky and bulky. However, he has some strength behind that bat.
Very well-spoken in interviews, so heâs often shoved in front of the camera so his teammates donât have to do so.
He ends up with the Rookie of the Year award for his breakout year. Heâs never taken that for granted, and he treasures being welcomed so eagerly in the Major Leagues.
Kind of a riot on twitter. Doesnât talk shit to other players, but heâs constantly posting memes and taking the piss out of people he knows that he can get away with.
âžď¸ Porco
Right fielder. Can fill in the infield if he has to, but ultimately, he prefers the outfield.
Constantly starts shit with team mascots. Itâs mostly for show, but he wonât ever admit that itâs a joke. In an interview, with a dead serious expression, says âOh, next time I see that shit-head, itâs on.â
Great at engaging with fans. Heâs happy to sign memorabilia or take a photo, but he usually prefaces it with, âOnly if you show me a picture of your dog.â If they donât have a dog, he just asks to see pet pictures in general.
His dietitian gets pissed with him because he breaks his diet a lot, but he just loves food, okay?
Ends up with a praying mantis on his hat during an inning in the second half of the game, in the vein of the same hilarious moment with Victor Robles. The damn thing stays on his hat for an entire inning and a half.
âžď¸ Reiner
First baseman.
He manages crazy defensive plays, like doing a full-on split while catching to get a runner out from first a la Ji Man Choi in these kinds of plays.
Teddy bear energy. Heâs intimidating during a game, but in between plays or at the dug-out, heâs grinning and all around having a good time.
Fucking shines in the Home Run Derby.
Notorious for his batting. Strong infield player in general, but heâs a beast at bat.
Biggest softie when a kid comes up shouting for an autograph or photo. If a kid manages to yell loud enough and grab his attention in a game, he canât help giving a smile and wave just before the pitch is thrown.
#headcanons by kiddo#zeke headcanons#eren headcanons#armin headcanons#floch headcanons#jean headcanons#connie headcanons#porco headcanons#reiner headcanons#levi headcanons#baseball au#words by kiddo#this was fun to do
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âbut I thought about how I needed to say thisâ
a.k.a. yet another meta dissection of The Apology. I actually wrote most of this up on Friday night based on the original Japanese (@pikahluaâ has an excellent translation up here, and I also used @hanashimasâ translations as a reference as well), but I wanted to wait until the official release, though that turned out to be a mixed bag to say the least lol.
I would also recommend reading @pikahluaâ and @class1akidsââ breakdowns of this scene (here and here, respectively), because they are excellent, and because if any scene deserves to have as many meta breakdowns written about it as possible, itâs this one.
anyway so here goes.
Caleb did a more accurate job with this than the fanscan, even if he did try his best to take us out of the seriousness of the moment by throwing in that swiss cheese line lol. anyway so there are two things I want to talk about here. the first is the line about Izuku not remembering, which I thought was a nice touch. of course he doesnât remember what Kacchan said back then. he wasnât exactly in the soundest emotional state after seeing one of the people he cares about most taking a near-fatal blow that was meant for him. Iâd be shocked if he remembers anything about the aftermath (including the way he flew into a mindless rage afterwards) right up until the point when he entered the OFA Interstellar Party Void with Tomura. anyway, so I thought that was a nice callback.
and speaking of emotional states, the other thing I wanted to talk about is the part that Caleb got right which the fan scanlation didnât. âbut I had more to say.â in other words, âstop trying to win on your ownâ wasnât just a one-liner; it was meant to be the beginning of a much longer speech. âthere were other things that I needed to say.â
like, can we just stop and talk about that for a second. because basically what this means is that in that instant, when Kacchan pushed Deku out of the way and got impaled, his one and only thought was that he needed to apologize to Deku. his life was presumably flashing before his eyes, he had no idea if he was going to survive or not, and the only thing on his mind was how urgently he needed to make things right with his former childhood friend.
moving on!
so I have a confession to make, which is that I am relieved to see Katsuki describing this as the reason why he bullied Deku, as opposed to Horikoshi trying to retcon it into some sort of âsecretly he was just trying to protect him and keep him out of harmâs way because he was worriedâ thing, which ngl would not have gelled very well with me. the thing is that Iâm really not a fan of the whole âKacchan Did Nothing Wrongâ mentality that some fans seem to have. like, I have seen all sorts of convoluted attempts to find excuses for Katsukiâs shitty behavior, but in my view those attempts undermine what I love about his character in the first place. Katsuki is such a great character specifically because he is not perfect. his redemption arc is so compelling because he was such a giant asshole at the start. he was completely at fault, and he acknowledges this, and takes full responsibility for it. and that is fucking fantastic.
his arc is so great because it doesnât rely on garnering sympathy by giving him a Tragic Past, or by trying to foist the blame for his behavior over on someone else. itâs an arc that acknowledges that redemption isnât something you achieve by making people feel sorry for you; itâs something you have to earn by actively working to change and do better. and by forgoing the âmisunderstood/tragic pastâ route, Horikoshi is making a statement that anyone can go down the wrong path, but that more importantly, anyone can also choose at any time to turn away from said path. there is only one requirement for doing so, and that is realizing that youâve done wrong, and deciding that you want to change.
anyway, so in chapter 284 Kacchan of course had that whole speech about Deku not taking himself into account, and mentioned how that made him want to keep his distance. and a good chunk of fandom took this to mean that Katsukiâs bullying was actually a misguided response to Dekuâs reckless tendencies -- sort of an âif I show him how weak and powerless he really is, I can get him to accept the reality that heâs quirkless, and that being a hero will just get him hurt or killedâ type of thing. and I wonât lie, for a good while I was wondering myself if Horikoshi was really going to go down that route. and like I said, I am honestly relieved that he didnât. not only for the reasons stated in the previous paragraph, but also because the message that would have sent -- that there are certain circumstances in which bullying can almost be excused because the bully had Good Intentions and was just trying to save the other person from themselves, and so it Wasnât That Bad, Actually -- is all kinds of fucked up to say the least. so yeah, Iâm glad we ended up steering well clear of that.
(ETA: this post was long enough already so I edited out the 3 additional paragraphs I originally wrote analyzing the dialogue from 284. but just to be clear, Iâm not trying to imply that Kacchan worrying about Dekuâs recklessness is a retconned thing that Horikoshi only threw into the story recently, because there are multiple instances throughout the story where he clearly is worried and in total denial of it. but I firmly believe those feelings are not what led to the bullying. theyâre two separate things. Kacchan worrying about Deku is what prompts him to yell at him in chapter 1 when Deku comes to save him. but itâs not what incited him to burn his notebook and taunt him earlier in that same chapter. that action had a much meaner and more selfish motivation behind it, and Iâm glad Horikoshi didnât try to change it up last minute, because it wouldnât have felt right.)
thankfully as of this chapter I think we can safely cross that out as a possibility, as weâre given the true explanation straight from Katsuki himself. and the truth is that he bullied Deku out of insecurity and jealousy and fear and intolerance. there was nothing noble about it. there were no good intentions concealed in his actions. there are no justifications given, no excuses offered, and no mitigating circumstances to be considered, other than the fact (which neither he nor Horikoshi bring up) that he was and is still a child, and that children make mistakes.
itâs an explanation that challenges many of fandomâs ideas on who is and isnât eligible to be redeemed. there is no Ozai in Katsukiâs backstory. thereâs no great tragedy that he spent a lifetime trying to rise above. the only villain in Katsukiâs story is Katsuki himself. the only darkness that he has to overcome is his own. and itâs challenging, because I think many people believe the only way someone can be redeemed for doing bad things is if bad things happen to them in return. but what Horikoshi is saying here is that thatâs not the case. bad doesnât erase bad. and the one and only way to truly earn redemption is by doing good.
and thatâs what makes this such a phenomenal scene for me. by not shying away from Katsukiâs flaws and failings, and having him take full responsibility for them, Horikoshi keeps the apology from being self-serving, and underscores the true depth of Katsukiâs character development. the level of self-awareness he has here is something most people can only dream of. which is very fitting, as thatâs perhaps the most important takeaway from his character arc -- that itâs only by acknowledging your own weaknesses and flaws that you can learn to overcome them and reach your full potential.
one last thing to point out here, which is that in the panel where Katsuki finally acknowledges his terrible treatment of Deku, Deku is not even visible. instead, Horikoshi drew the panel from a perspective that makes it appear that Katsuki is addressing this particular line not just to Deku, but to all of his classmates.
again, he shows him taking full responsibility and admitting his wrongdoings in front of the people whose opinions and approval he cares about most. and just to clarify in case thereâs any confusion from Calebâs translation, Kacchanâs wording makes it very clear that he wasnât just âmeanâ to Deku, but that he full-on bullied him (he uses the same verb -- âijimeruâ (čăă) -- that he did back in chapter 284). thereâs no attempt to downplay his actions here.
moving on now, this chapter also reaffirmed another thing about Deku and Kacchanâs relationship which I was glad to see revisited -- Kacchanâs unwavering belief in Dekuâs ability. this is one of those paradoxical things about their relationship which Iâve always been fascinated by, but which is also kind of hard to explain, because I donât want it to come off like Iâm trying to put a positive spin on something which was unequivocally awful. like, please donât think Iâm trying to say that Katsukiâs bullying of Deku was in any way a good thing. but that being said, thereâs also a strange irony at play here, which is that Katsukiâs jealousy and insecurity also betray the fact that even at his very worst, he never once underestimated Deku. he has always believed in Dekuâs strength, even when that strength pissed him off and made him afraid and uneasy.
no one else -- not All Might, or even Dekuâs own mom -- believed from the get-go that Deku could become a hero. but Katsuki never once counted him out, even when he was calling him a pebble in his shoe. he confesses here that even though he âtried to act superior by rejecting [Deku]â, in truth he was never able to shake the feeling that Deku was above him. long before he ever understood the concept of âwin to saveâ, he knew instinctively that there was a strength in Dekuâs heart that couldnât be measured, and which had the potential to surpass even his own strength. and Iâve always felt that this was so important, because itâs the one aspect of their early relationship that hinted that on some level, however subconscious, Katsuki held the same type of faith in Deku that Deku always held in him. it was one of the few things that hinted at there being a possible path towards reconciliation one day. and it paved the way for the most important shift in their relationship to date, when Katsuki finally realized who Deku got his quirk from, and responded not with resentment or spite, but with acceptance.
moving on, I also really love the way we see them portrayed at the different stages of their childhood throughout this speech, and how it perfectly lines up with the dialogue. from small children (when Katsuki talks about his insecurities first manifesting), to middle schoolers (when he talks about the bullying), to high schoolers (when he talks about the past year and everything heâs learned at U.A.). Horikoshi really didnât have to go that hard, but he did, and thatâs why we love him.
and then we finally get to That Part.
where do I even start with this there are so many things omg.
the bow. this is the one and only time Katsuki has ever bowed to anyone of his own volition as far as I recall. and this absolutely is a bow, just to be clear, even though his form is straight-up garbage (very Kacchan-esque, with his feet and arms spaced apart because heâs still a punk after all). this is Kacchan showing more humility and respect than heâs ever shown to anyone else in his entire life.
regarding âIzukuâ, I actually have mixed feelings about this to tell the truth. I think it was a good call here because it was incredibly effective in setting the tone and showing just how serious Kacchan is. however if he continues to use âIzukuâ rather than âDekuâ from here on out, that would give the impression in hindsight that all his past usage of âDekuâ really was meant as an insult, which would undermine some of my favorite scenes. I would really like to believe that since DvK2 or thereabouts, Kacchan has (mostly) been using âDeku (affectionate)â rather than âDeku (useless loser)â, lol. but if he switches to the ânicerâ name on a permanent basis following his apology, it implies that the previous nickname was indeed being used cruelly. and so honestly I hope this was just a one-time thing, because I do think that in Katsukiâs mind, the name âDekuâ hasnât been meant as a slight to him for a long time now.
âmy truth/this is what I truly feelâ -- the word Katsuki uses in Japanese is honne (ćŹéł), and if youâre familiar with the concept of honne/tatemae, thatâs the same âhonneâ heâs talking about here. it means that heâs casting aside all of his walls and facades and expressing what he truly feels. and of course, one of the fascinating things about Katsukiâs character is that heâs the exact opposite of most people in that he chooses to put his meanness on full display to the public, and ironically itâs the kindest parts of himself which he tends to keep the most carefully guarded and hidden away. this also means that while his rage and anger are very often insincere and put on just for show, those relatively few occasions where he lets his humanity truly shine through are pretty much 100% genuine, as is the case with this one here.
and Dekuâs face says it all when it comes to how powerful those moments can be as a result.
and this, right here, is why it wasnât enough for Katsuki to atone solely through his actions, and why he needed to actually say the words as well. itâs not that the words are more important; obviously the actions are far and away the most important part, and carry far more meaning. but the reason why Katsuki needed to say the words as well is simply because Izuku needed to hear them. needed to, and deserved to, because this is one of the most important people in the world to him.
and so he deserves to know that the relationship isnât just one-sided, and that he is just as important to Kacchan as Kacchan is to him. he deserves to know that Kacchan understands how horribly he treated him, and that heâs sorry for it. and he deserves to know that Kacchan, without any expectation of it changing their relationship -- meaning that he will continue to feel this way regardless of what Izuku says or does from here on out -- cares about him. now more than ever, with AFO out there doing everything in his power to make Izuku feel as alone as possible, this is something that he really, really needed to hear.
so this part has some interesting wordplay which neither Calebâs translation nor the fan scanlation was really able to get across. basically, in the Japanese version, when Katsuki talks about âthose idealsâ, Horikoshi uses the kanji for âidealâ, but pronounces it as âAll Might.â obviously the meaning of this isnât too hard to decipher, as we all know how much both boys admire All Might. to them, he absolutely is synonymous with the Ideal. so this is a way of showing that respect they both have towards him, even as Katsuki goes on to point out the one fatal flaw that All Might was never able to overcome.
and speaking of interesting wording, as others have noted, at this point in his speech Katsuki switches from âtemeeâ (which he was using earlier during the âyour strengths and my weaknessesâ part) to âomaeâ (âomaeâ being a less insulting word for âyouâ, though still very manly and tough-sounding), which is definitely a big deal. though fwiw this is not the first time heâs used âomaeâ for Deku (he switches to it briefly right after DvK2, when he tells Deku âyou had the strongest guy lay the groundwork for you -- donât loseâ, and then later when theyâre walking back to the dorms and he says heâll learn and get stronger by watching everyone around him just like Deku did). itâs definitely a good choice on Horikoshiâs part though, as it makes this last part of the speech sound more earnest and sincere.
just a quick note, he does indeed use a plural pronoun here, as in âthe obstacles that you canât overcome, we will overcome.â but as @pikahluaâ pointed out, the âweâ here is ambiguous -- it could either mean âweâ as in class 1-A -- âwe will overcome them for youâ -- OR it could mean âweâ as in all of them -- class 1-A and Deku. âwe will overcome them together.â idk about you, but I know which one gets my vote.
anyway, and so this is the line that finally wins Deku over and allows him to let go of his fears, however briefly. what I love about this is Kacchanâs utter conviction. one thing that Calebâs translation doesnât quite get across is Kacchanâs use of the word morenaku -- âwithout exceptionâ -- when he talks about how theyâre going to save everyone and win. it echoes that same sentiment he showed back during the Joint Training arc -- that itâs not a perfect victory unless they save everyone. every last person. and he explicitly lists Deku among their number, just so there can be no doubt.
and Dekuâs response to this (or at least his thoughts, since heâs not really able to get many words out) pretty much brings everything full circle here.
he acknowledges that everyone else has gotten ahead of him. which is especially meaningful given who heâs standing directly across from. because for most of the series, as we all well know, itâs been Kacchan who was woefully lagging behind Deku in the character growth department. but now Deku himself is acknowledging that not only has Kacchan finally caught up at last, but that he and the others have surpassed him. which is only temporary, I should add, as I have zero doubt that Deku will catch up again soon. but the fact remains that just as Dekuâs rapid increase in strength and skill left Kacchan scrambling to keep up earlier in the series, Kacchanâs extraordinary character development has now left Deku in that same position. as All Might once put it, âwhen heâs starting at level one, and youâre already at level 50, itâs only natural that youâll be growing at different rates.â
and whatâs so wonderful about this though is that the two of them are finally approaching that point where theyâve both caught up to each other and are finally starting to level out. Deku is a full-on badass, and Kacchan is out here talk-no-jutsuing with the best of them. the two of them have been chasing and chasing after each other this entire time, and now theyâre finally just about ready to meet in the middle at long last, with each of them fully embodying both of those two crucial aspects -- win, and save.
just about. because Deku still needs some help catching up. but seeing as help has already been offered -- and accepted -- I canât imagine it will be very long now, and I canât wait to see him finally overcoming those fears and doubts with his friends by his side. itâs going to be such a powerful moment.
and last but not least,
or, as I prefer,

you had one job, Caleb. flkjsdlk.
but at least this provides a good opportunity to note that unlike the âweâll help you handle itâ line earlier in the speech, here the phrasing is left up to interpretation, as he doesnât use a pronoun. so it could be âwe knowâ, or, as the fan scanlation put it, âI know.â or it could be both. regardless, itâs good stuff.
anyway, and so Deku passes out, and in the process Horikoshi gives us one last parting metaphor, just in case anyone still thinks Kacchan is all talk because they havenât been paying attention for the past 322 chapters (more likely than you think). once again, Katsukiâs actions speak louder than his words (even his nice words) ever could: he is literally there to catch Deku when he falls.
so thatâs it! my sincere thanks to anyone who actually read through all of my endless ramblings about this scene which I have been waiting for since day one. props to Horikoshi for taking on an impossibly difficult task, and pulling it off with all of the emotion and care and nuance that Iâve come to expect from his writing. imo he delivered on every single level with the exception of the aftermath, which I donât consider to have actually happened yet. Dekuâs part of this is definitely a âto be continued.â but yeah, as far as Kacchanâs part goes, 10/10. so fucking proud of this kid.
#bnha 322#bakugou katsuki#midoriya izuku#bakudeku#bnha meta#bakugou meta#deku meta#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha
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