#(<- I HAD to include that silly tag in my post it is my treasure <3)

[sol-dial]

I am so normal so sane I am normal I am fine this is fine I am fine I am

I AM SCREAAMING.

Again, I won't spoil but GOSH. My animation nerd heart is thriving and my Lego Ninjago heart is breaking into a billion pieces as I desperately fix it and it breaks again but reforges with the fire of passion I have <3 (Whaat me mentioning forging and fire and such whaat anyways *coughs and dies and revives*)

It's only 3 episodes being treated as a pilot so I NEED MORE!! The animation is so gorgeous I could weep happy tears, the small details, Vincent Tong's (Kai's voice actor for the English version) voice acting and delivery is beyond phenomenal and truly tugs at your heart and makes you feel. And the many things revealed is..AHHH!!!!!!!

Again, Avengers Assemble (and SteveTony :3) currently have a deathgrip on me..but I need to emotionally recover as my Lego Ninjago interest from long ago rekindles and burns brightly and slowly consumes me again!! A dual, sharp edged blade I will happily plunge into my heart, twist it deep, cry in pure happiness, fall to my knees and be in bliss.

TL;DR: AHHHHHHHHH KAI MY BELOVED, MY SKRUNKLY, MY WET DRIPPING CAT, MY ANGSTY BOI.

[who-is-page]

Wag Those Tail Feathers: The Wonders of Alterhuman Courtship

Author: Page Type: Essay Words: 1,065 Summary: Page's perspective on alterhuman courtship, as an individual who has been both on the receiving and giving ends of it.

[Part of the Sol System’s Alterhuman Writing Project for 2024. If you don’t want to see these posts, block the tag #inkedclaws]

As a polyamorous alterhuman, I’ve had the wonderful experience of being in relationships with people who have a variety of different courtship instincts— sometimes even all at the same time! Including my own instincts, it’s led up to some interesting realizations about the variety and diversity of expressions of love, and how wonderful it can be to be loved by an alterhuman (and to be an alterhuman in love, too).

My personal experiences, notably, revolve specifically around being nonhuman and this applies to a majority of my partners as well, which influences the flavor of this discussion. It’s been a wonder to be the target of a feathery mating dance, to be wooed with draconic jewelry and treasures, or to have my partner jump out with a meal, as proud as could be at displaying their hunting skills for a mate. It’s not necessarily just a nonhuman thing, either, of course; my orthohuman partner exhibits some similar sort of feelings and actions, too! Something which comes across especially strong in his hunt-and-gather supply-hoarding behavior in video games. But there’s something so especially intimate about having your alterhuman partner court you in a way unique to their species identity. It’s a beyond flattering form of trust, love, and affection.

And as an alterhuman who has targeted my partners, alterhuman and orthohuman alike, with my own affections, it’s also uniquely affirming to have your partners engage with your varieties of courtship for your species. There’s something incredibly special to have them try to learn your rituals and woo you in turn, even if they don’t have the same instincts driving them. It’s love with intention, a conscious effort to learn a language that’s typically foreign to them or which they might otherwise never come across on such a personal level. It may not always be perfectly executed, but the intentions behind them make them perfect regardless.

I’m someone who’s fully public about my alterhumanity. I don’t hide that I’m a dog and (luckily) no one especially seems to care in the day-to-day when I’m meeting up with strangers and acquantinces. But it’s become an important part of my dating life that potential partners need to not only be aware of my alterhumanity and accept it, but they also need to interact with it. You could argue that my spouse set the bar high for any potential future partners with how he took to my canine-ness and plurality like a fish to water, but I’m of the opinion that it’s something that should be the norm, not something so utterly unexpected by many.

Being able to engage in alterhuman courtship with your partner, as serious or as silly as it may fundamentally end up being, shouldn’t be something that you feel is utterly unreachable, that you yearn for but never feel like you’ll be able to reach. Alterhuman courtship is a wonderous experience; something that I think it’s not only important for alterhuman folks to be able to freely do with those they love most, but also to be on the receiving end of, too. It can be easy to default to the status quo in relationships, because of the societal pressure around us. Normativity around romance, sex, and even platonic affections is something that is constantly at play in the backgrounds of our culture and which embeds itself into our conciousnesses in unexpected and often invisible ways; and it’s difficult to dissect these without exposing ourselves to what some might list as “weird” or “unusual” urges and behaviors. But we can’t unpack the shame or embarrassment that might be holding us back from engaging with these urges unless we actually let ourselves acknowledge the collective, confusing feelings abound within them. We shouldn’t allow ourselves to shrug our shoulders and simply say, “I suppose I’ll never find someone who can accept me as my [species] and all that entails,” or to just resign ourselves to having to hide a part of ourselves away forever to maintain relationships.

We should toss these types of negative feelings aside and embrace our alterhuman courtship urges in earnest: that sometimes we’re not fully human, or we’re human a little to the right, and that inevitably makes romance, sex, and platonic interactions a little different for us than it might look for standard folks as displayed on a big screen. It’s not a failure on our part, and it’s not something that needs to be squirreled away due to internalized respectability politics. We can love ourselves and find love in others, for and by being ourselves. We can experience unique forms of love and adore those factors in others. This is, to me, a part of the territory that comes with being alterhuman or knowing alterhumans. It’s a part of what makes life wonderous.

In my partnerships, I love getting to bring my partners gifts. I love to bring them tiny treasures, small things from my system’s hoard, to pebble at them almost like a penguin would (sometimes including a silly little dance, of love!) It goes beyond standard gift-giving in the way that most of the people I’ve met would think of it, where presents that large are often reserved for special occasions like holidays and birthday. But it’s something I do year-round, to show my partners that they’re always on my mind, and that what is mine is their’s, too. I do the same thing with food; while normally incredibly food protective, both due to species identity and past food insecurities, I make the effort to share my favorite foods with my partners for the same fundamental reasons. To share my food, my bed, my life— and to have my partners recognize that as not just general displays of love, but as specifically displays of love intertwined with what I am, is something which displays a deep level of understanding and acceptance for my species. It’s something I’m grateful for beyond words, but it’s also something that I don’t want us as a community to accept as unheard of, or as just a one-off, lucky occurrence. Love like this is achievable and rewarding, both as a recipient of such alterhuman affections and as the giver. And we all deserve to experience it, in whatever form of love that we feel most comfortable with. Don’t tell yourself otherwise; don’t settle for less just because you feel like you have no other choice.

[cupcraft]

Cupcraft's Sims 4 Build Requests Challenge

Hi Hi! I have been very Sims 4 build-pilled for the past couple years and you can see builds I've posted on the tag #cup.builds (or by gallery, DispleasedBrick).

Thought I'd challenge myself to do small builds on request but to challenge myself.

I am doing a 2 pack challenge (+ basegame always included).

General Rules:

I won't use any custom content in the build itself.

I can only use packs I own, so if you request a pack I do not own it won't be included obviously (I will make clear what I own!).

Debug & Basegame will be fair game as long as its only debug for basegame or the packs you requested. Basegame will always be included.

I am doing this for free on my own free time so requests won't be quick necessarily and I may not finish them all/take all requests (depends on how many I get really).

How to Request:

Via Ask! Can be anon if you prefer!

Requests I'm looking for in the format of: I'd like you to try to build a STYLE/THEME/CHARACTER'S HOUSE/ROOM/APARTMENT/ETC. With 2 PACKS YOU OWN OF MY CHOICE. So for example "I'd like you to build Gregory House's apartment with everyday clutter kit and seasons" or "I'd like you to build a modern ranch house with horse ranch and eco lifestyle" etc.

You can also request minor terrain/misc things ie "it'd be nice if the home had a pond!" or even "try to include these color palette I like!"

Do not request very large and complex things ie castles, giant manors, things that involve extreme terrain manipulation (Ie mountain house). This challenge I also won't rennovate any townie houses. Not that i would never do a request like that but I want these to be finishable. I will build most houses and styles :). Even something as small as a room or apartment rennovation (not townie house, but apartments are more feasible ie the ones in eco-lifestyle or the highrise in lovestruck).

I ask for now that if you request the everyday clutter kit you are mindful that currently the game is glitched and it is missing 17 items and it has not yet been patched!

What packs do you own so I don't request something silly?

Expansions: I own all of them

Game packs: spa day, dine out, vampires, parenthood, jungle adventure, realm of magic, dream home decorator, my wedding stories, werewolves, and outdoor retreat

Stuff packs: spooky stuff, romantic garden, backyard stuff, vintage glamour stuff, laundry day, my first pet, moschino, tiny living, nifty knitting, paranormal, home chef hustle

kits (of the build ones, cas ones not listedn here): industrial loft, blooming rooms, desert luxe, everyday clutter, bathroom clutter, pastel pop, basement treasures, greenhouse haven, modern luxe, book nook, castle estates, riviera retreat, cozy bistro, artist studio, storybook nursery, and I will be buying on my next paycheck the cozy gamers kit and the bella goth kit (forget the actual name)

Taglist for my everything & sims specific tag list is in the replies :)! Request away!

[riddles-fiddles]

Can we have a cat? Pt. 2

Synopsis: you ask your boyfriend (+your bff Ortho) if you two can raise a baby kitten together. Characters: all the vice housewardens Tags: fluff, silly scenario to warm the heart Notes: gender neutral reader, slight long post, will make more of this if someone requests for characters not included here

•·.·''·.·•ˏˋ°•*•·.·''·.·•ˏˋ°•*•·.·''·.·•ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

I feel like he's more of a dog person

So when you ask him about it, he's a bit hesitant at first

"A cat? But what's so fun about them? They just lie around all day along and scratch you when they're hungry." Somehow the way he wailed about your suggestion could be sharply directed to Leona, who was, in the end of the day, a big feline. Ruggie also tried to put some sense into you, telling you how it wouldn't work out since you are both very busy students, and he also needed to tend to Leona's whims - and that was enough cat for him. Alas, he's not immune to puppydog eyes. All it took him to have a change of heart was to gaze upon your sad, big shining eyes, and he was sold; there's no way he would not melt and feel guilt under such a powerful spell, specially when you always left him feeling like you could stare your demands right into his soul. By the end of the day, he complied to your request, but settled some reasonable rules before giving you the green card to get a kitten - 1. it shall stay with you at ramshackle dorm; 2. don't let it disturb Leona; 3. if it tries to scratch or bite, he'll bite back (jokingly, you hoped). In contrast to his defiance regarding getting a feline companion, the little cub decided to stick to Ruggie, always on his feet and clinging for his affection. At last, it wasn't so rare to catch both of them snuggled together in a deep, warm nap. "This little ball of fluff isn't all that bad, actually... it's pretty warm and soft."

Growing as a servant, Jamil learned a lot about animal care

But that doesn't mean you get to convince him so easily

"I'm sorry love, but I'm a busy man. I don't think it would be fair to try and raise a baby kitten by meeting its minimal needs." Jamil made it clear to you that despite wanting to share such a wonderful responsibility, he wouldn't be able to do it right, and therefore, would rather wait until you two had more time.

Jamil wouldn't budge no matter how many tear-filled sparkling eyes you direct his way - stubborn and determined to achieve his goals, he would rather pursue a better life and place before settling into the blissful details of domestic life and tending of animals. During all his servitude days to Kalim, he would entertain you by suggesting names with funny meanings, or tell you stories from his family/close friends about some cat mischief, happy to pull some joyous laughter from you by his silly stories - promising that someday he would gift you the prettiest kitten alive. When finally achieving freedom with enough independency and good money, Jamil quickly complied to his promises, waiting for a special occasion to gift you the kitten you dreamed about so much. "My treasure, I'm the happiest when by your side, and as evidence of my undying love and devotion, I want to give you something very special."

Is excited by the aspect of owning a kitten but doesn't show it

Genuinely curious but there's also a low miscievous tone under his smile

"A baby kitten? I think that could be arranged, if so fervently you wish." Complies without much hesitation, but leaves most of the responisbility over your shoulders, mostly because he's busy making sure Mostro Lounge doesn't explode by his brother's antics or managing the patrons since he's the most reliable twin.

Allows you to name the kitten, since particularly he'd prefer to not worry about name meanings or if any sound pretty enough. Regardless of that though, he'll come up with funny nicknames for the little feline, using them to annoy you, entertained by your grimaces. "He's truly an intriguing ugly duck, isn't he?", he would tease with a low chuckle, all while playing gingerly with the kitten sprawled over his lap, hands tugging gently on the toebeans. "It's like taking care of a fluffy mudskipper with too much energy." Despite his odd choice of terms of endearment, you can rest assured that Jade absolutely loves the little feline, though partaking mostly on the fun side of pet care - playing around, sharing snacks, napping together... sometimes he would even bring the little one to Mostro Lounge with him to 'help with the customers'. In no time, both your beloved boys would turn into stars on the fancy lounge.

With Lilia, everything is just another fun llittle opportunity

Eagerly accepts and won't hear a word of protest from neither Sebek or Silver

Like Jade, Lilia allows you to choose a name, as he judges himself terrible with such a matter. Follows you around adoption centers, excitement clear on his step, sometimes even forgetting you two were supposed to actually leave the places with a single kitten in arms - the felines love him, that's clear as day, and he made sure to poke at your jealousy as swarns of baby kittens clinged to him.

It quickly turned clear how hard it could be to settle with a single animal, though, since each and every one had their very unique quirkness and special demands, and everything had to be in tune for you two and the feline to grow happy and welcomed - like it was fun to meet so many cute kittens, but none had clicked right yet. Until, someday while you two walked down the streets of your hometown during the holidays, you noticed a shy and cautious figure hiding away between some bushes - nothing but big golden eyes peeking between the foliage to alert you of its presence, as the deep black fur mingled within. Slowly and surely, the small feline warmed up to both of you as you dedicated some time to persuade it out of its hiding spot with a stray yarn of Lilia's shirt. "The poor kitten is missing a leg," Lilia pointed out the missed detail, though his voice carried nothing but tender esteem. "I think she's perfect for us."

Another dog person

Rook can appreciate the beauty of felines, but much prefers the versatility and utility a dog offers for hunts and guarding duties

Rook watches in amusement as you talk your way into his heart, excitement contagious as you regard everything you appreciate the most about the fluffy critters. "Mon cher trickster," he coos beneath his breath, voice full of love and admiration as he takes your hands between his. "The way you spill the love for such gorgeous and mysterious creatures captivates my soul, though I think we could benefit more from a dog, don't you agree?" Feels sincerely bad for making you frustrated and look so down from his suggestion, he actually takes his time and dedication to learn more about the extensive world of cat breeds. He is the the most pleased bu finding out there actually exists a special kind of cat carefully bred to assist their owners into their exhausting hunts. Alright, maybe this kind of cat wasn't truly suitable for bigger prey like he expected, but the concept of being followed during his chases by such a glorious creature instigated him, since maine coons are known to be an adventurous, curious breed. "My most beloved, after some time of research and contemplation, I came to the conclusion that cats are, indeed, great companions," Rook muses in, arms concealed behind his back as he leaned in to smoother a trail of kisses all over your face, words tender and mysterious. "That's why I have a rather heartwarming gift to match your most exquisite and feline-like beauty." With a charming wink, he carefully craddles a baby kitten of bulky size into your arms, the grey fur glistening against your skin.

The happiest. Day. Of. His. Life!!!!!!!!!

He's so excited he might overheat his systems - talking about it, he already knew.

Ortho already suspected that you were looking for a kitten to adopt - he saw your search history on your device - with the best of intentions, of course, merely trying to get a glimpse of your current interest to gift you something. He wouldn't even need to try and look all sunny and surprised, because he truly was excited!!! Ortho loves animals, especially cats, since they're very chill and cuddly, and don't need as much attendance as dogs do! Of course, he asks his brother first though, to be sure he would be okay with a cat sharing their room from time to time. Ortho quickly convinces his big bro into adopting a cat by giving the biggest, most irresistible big eyes ever known to humanity, and the boy literally wastes no time; by the next time you come in to hang around, the dorm is already adapted with cat-proof furniture and an indoor cat playground with complex and stylized tunnels. The boy gladly bestows an exclusive version of the playground in Ramshackle Dorm so the little kitten can get entertained in both dorms, spending heavy minutes of his day playing and cuddling with your shared feline company - he thinks it's a very good thing you two adopted an animal, since it pushed him into being more in tune with reality. "She is so cute in every little aspect! I want to play with her forever..."

Thinks about what Riddle might think of it so is reluctant at first

But he simply can't say no to you, especially with that heartfelt request

"Ugh... alright, my love. We can have a kitten together, but let's keep it low so Riddle doesn't find out about this." Trey is confident in his ability to pass the details unnoticed to Riddle and the rest of his dorm, convincing you to keep the kitten with you at all times at Ramshackle Dorm.

He dutifully visited Ramshackle to help you with the responsibilities of taking care of the small feline, even bringing homemade special treats he baked, reveling on the simple pleasure of sharing domestic moments between you and the kitten. His favourite time of the day quick turned to be the hours he would be able to spend on the couch of Ramshackle Dorm with you, your head rested against his shoulder as your little kitten laid sprawled comfortably over your laps, his quiet purrs engulfing the silence of the solitary dorm like a magical song to sooth his worries and tension away.

"When I met you, I thought you'd be my one and only fortress to ground myself and easy my worries away when needed, but I'm glad to meet this little fella. You two are both the best things to ever happen to me."

[gunsatthaphan]

🏆 Top 10 of 2023 💫

a few anons have requested this and I was also kind of indirectly tagged by @blneobin, @elizabethsebestianhedgehog and @khaotungsfirst for slightly different posts but I decided to just combine them all into one 😄 hope that's fine with everyone ✌🏻

My watchlist wasn't very extensive this year due to time reasons but here are my personal highlights:

Don't think I have to explain much about this one lol (she says as she proceeds to write a whole paragraph) After the masterpiece that was The Warp Effect and the disaster that was Never Let Me Go, I was nervous about what Jojo was gonna cook up with this one lmao but luckily my fears were unjustified. The watching experience was absolutely insane and it turned me into a different person in the time between August and October lmao. It wasn't perfect, I got annoyed at times but overall it's undoubtedly my number 1 this year. SandRay my loves, my babes, my roman empire lmao. I loved their story so much, they were the main characters for me lol but it was such a good ensemble in general and each cast member was the perfect fit for their respective characters, including Mond as Boeing who was the cherry on top of all the madness and also my boy Mix as the first Only Friends Stay guest, leaving room for imagination lmao. It was raw, real and unapologetically chaotic aka my favorite kind of plot. pure perfection. Jojo outdid himself once again. 10/10.

No words just vibes. It went by SUPER fast and I'm still mad that they chose to air an 8 episode show twice a week like whose idea was that?? To air a treasure like this in the course of 4 weeks is more homophobic than Jim's family lmao. But anyway. Doesn't change the fact that it was an incredible production, so visually stunning, so carefully written and so well executed down to the tiniest detail. It deserves every single award it won because what a masterpiece. It made me extremely emotional but in the best way. I'm still in awe. amazing. life changing.

I kinda hate to admit this bc it was SO full of crack lmao but it was SO much fun?? I had low expectations but I had the best time from start to finish. It made me laugh so hard I frequently dislocated my lungs lmao, the overall watching experience was just incredible. Story-wise it was sprinkled with the typical Domundi nonsense, the surreal cartoonish vibes were dominating and it was overall another show where I couldn't tell you what the plot was afterwards lmao - but everyone who lived through the Cutie Pie experience wouldn't expect anything less from these people lol. I loved it.

We're only halfway through but I'm so obsessed with it that I'm including it lmao. It's SO adorable and pure, offgun are back with the puppy honey vibes in all of their fully evolved glory lol, the writing is excellent imo and it's the perfect balance between silly, cheesy and honest emotions, good communication and the notorious offgun magic lol. Whenever I say I want a good romcom, this is what I mean. I was so annoyed when it was announced as I was convinced it was gonna be a downgrade from Not Me but it's really not. It's just another show where OG can showcase their dynamic in a completely different setting. I love it.

I'm still having mixed feelings about this one due to obvious reasons but looking at it from the outside I have to include it because objectively speaking this was an excellent production. The narrative was intelligent and worked so well, my boy Gawin was shining so much as Pisaeng, I still can't believe he wasn't the first choice because he's literally the perfect fit for this. I loved the symbolism, the blossoming romance and just Pear. that's it. just. Her. she was incredible. G&K had good chemistry, I was struggling with K.'s presence but the show was just so good that it overshadowed the rest. Loved it.

This show got a lot of hate which I sort of understand as it was low budget, cheesy and with heavy lakorn vibes but on god it really hit the spot for me lmao. JaFirst are my runner-up babes lol, I love their dynamic so much and seeing them make their comeback in this with completely reversed roles had me squealing lol Punn was the most adorable cookie, others cringed, I blushed lmao I loved the setup so much and him and Achi were everything. period.

Another show that's still airing but I'm really liking it so I'm including it as well lol. It's surprisingly well written and Pavel is doing fantastic in his comeback, I had lowkey written him off after the disaster that was Coffee Melody but he's back stronger than ever. Love that for him. The rest of the cast is very solid too, a lot of familiar faces who all stepped up their acting game since I last saw them with a special shoutout to Thanapon who is doing amazing. The story is super interesting and goes so far beyond just the racing stuff which was my apprehension when starting it. And even the omegaverse stuff is not as bad as I thought (so far.. don't wanna jinx it lmao). It's overall doing very well. Love it.

This one also got a lot of backlash lol but I loved it!! JoongDunk are my second FirstKhao lmao they're very dear to me, their on-screen dynamic is good actor carries weak actor and I'm aware of that lmao but to me they just work so well. Idk what it is. Even though Dunk's acting leaves room for improvement, they have a ton of chemistry and they're mastering the secret crush plot. This was fun and light, not too serious and I found it very enjoyable. the only thing that irritated me was the butchering of AouBoom like what in the world was that. Tee probably added them because he had to and disregarded them in the process but their story was abysmal. But putting that aside, it was a very nice show.

This was very brief for Mame standards lol and I was considering dropping it after episode 2 but then it surprisingly picked up, I started to really get into the story and SunnyPak worked very well for me. I was surprised that they just disappeared afterwards as I was expecting MMY to milk them like the rest of their couples but oh well. Mame made her GL debut in this which I appreciated but I wish they had casted someone else as Marine because sorry sweetie but she was terrible lmao rip. Yiwa was a very sweet and likable character and she deserved a better partner. That plus the special episode being stupid as hell, It's getting raking #9 lol.

This whole season was... a very wild rollercoaster ride lmao. I would say it was a 50/50 for me, half of the episodes were fun and the other half were horrendous lol. My personal highlight were The Eclipse episodes, they were pure fluff and adorableness, paired with some minor dumb fights but overall this was exactly what I was craving after the ordeal AkkAye went through in The Eclipse lmao but also I could easily sit through 10 episodes of Akk and Aye just being cute and cuddly and doing absolutely nothing else because duh. They're my comfort couple 🥺 I also quite enjoyed the ATOTSxBBS crossover and also surprisingly the ABAAB and NLMG episodes were a lot of fun!

thank you 2023 for - once again - giving us good gay food lmao. here's to an even better 2024 🧡

[seokmashu]

moot appreciation & 1000th post ❤️

to celebrate the end of predebut era, zb1's debut, my lovely 5ever moots, and my 1000th post! (also bc this ask has been sitting in my inbox for a few weeks now and i figured it's time!) it's been a few months since i joined zumblr and i wanted to shout out a few people who have made this experience so fun and lively and wonderful and whose friendships i really treasure ❤️ i love all of you mwah now let's goo!!

💌 cherrie // @cherriegyu 🍒

cherrieee tietie 🫶 when i first came on tumblr you were one of the only ppl i talked to and you made me feel so welcome in the community- i loved discussing lex's hp ideas with you, our bias lists and being a zerorat (����) imy and love you lots <3

💌 moni // @taerrrrrae 🐨

moni you're always so sincere when reading and reacting to other ppl's works, responding to asks, and letting other ppl know you're thinking of them, that i find it so inspiring~ i mean who else would compose poems for their moots?? you're such a sweet person a 7 star hallabong fr <3

💌 riri // @chxrrymxxnlight 🌛

ririii my fav riyangi fangirl!! you're so cute and i appreciate how you always keep me up to date about zb1 stuff (like within 0.1 seconds of them posting, insane) even tho we always miss each other cuz we live in opposite timezones 😭 i hope u only have happy days ahead and i'm so excited to hear more about this story you're writing and drawing!! <3

💌 tee // @haesunflower ⛳

teee! i'm so glad you sent me that message when we first became moots bc it's so much fun talking to you~ remember the gyuvin cheeto ask i sent you? 💀 and all those times you were thirsty over wrote about zb1 ahem. i love discussing fic ideas with you because you simply give the best reactions and i'm so happy you get to live out your y/n fantasy fr fr 😭 <3

💌 rose // @ohdudedhesflirting 🐝

ah yes rose one of the only other seokryus that i know on tumbles 😭 your thirsty reactions to posts are so funny and always crack me up~ i'm sooo glad you started writing more bc i love reading your fics!! still mad you didn't tag me in the first one 😤 but it's ok since it literally wrenched my heart out ;; i hope you're doing better now and that you had a wonderful bday <3

💌 lex // @bp-zb1fics 🦇

lex i know you haven't been as active lately but it doesn't feel right to not include you in this since you were literally my d-1 bestie when i first started this blog- i loved discussing fic ideas with you and joking around making silly posts and sending each other twts and telling each other about our dreams and reading all the wonderful stuff you wrote! i hope you're doing well now, i'm thinking about you <3

💌 venom // @zerobaseonefics 🕸️

you were one of the first people i talked to when i arrived at zumblr and i remember thinking wow she seems cool i wanna get to know her! little did we know that was the start of a century long feud however thankfully we can say war is over now that you've admited defeat 😇 fr tho, you're such a talented writer and i really admire how you always make time to listen to and talk to everyone~ your love for spiderman is sooo cute you act cool all the time but you're actually the cutest yk? thank you for encouraging me to post my art back then, i really don't think i would've started posting my bday series if it weren't for you and ilysm <3

💌 hazel // @hanbeanz 🔮

aka the don 😎 hazel i think you're such a talented gifmaker and the way you include your stream of consciousness always cracks me up lolol i think you're an awesome leader and it's fun discussing ideas for zb1net tg, don't feel too discouraged and i also hope you don't get too burnt out either<3 also that time you sent me an ask about your emoji tag still cracks me up hahaha <3

💌 alma // @gunwookstan 🐭

my fav fav fav mattwook fangirl almaaaaa <3 i'm so happy you messaged me bc we are literally kindred spirits when it comes to reacting to our boys LOL it was sooo funny that one time i was scrolling twt and accidentally found your account and you were like sweats uhhh that's not me ok sure 👀 talking with you always brightens my day ily sooo much mwah <3

💌 rin // @jjanguri 🐳

rininining!! my sweet, kind, open-hearted friend who can't help but cry from simply existing 🥺 from our first interaction i could tell you were gonna be lots of fun to talk to~ i love being spymasters tg, hearing ab your feud with your cubicle mate, the tattoos you plan on getting, your reactions to hao, and your love of eating bricks and concrete <3 bc of you "goobert" and "monch" are imprinted into my mind LOL and also i think it's soo impressive how you churn out 10 gifsets every day even tho you're so busy all the time~ idk what's up with the whole ss and meow agenda you've been cooking up lately but grrrr i'm keeping my eye on you 👀 thanks for being such a fun but also calming presence my lovely friend and i hope you know i'm here for you when the going gets tough <3

💌 iana // @taeraex 🦖

iana our cute adorable bb <33 it's funny that your bias is taerae bc both of you could stand still doing nothing and i would still think it's the funniest thing LOLL i love talking to you about astrological signs and your stalker behavior and being petty and your random bursting out into song and playing codenames with you (we fr are connected to the same wifi bc it's crazy how similar our instincts are) it's always such a fun time when you're around 😛 you could talk for hours and hours and i would love listening to every second of it you're just so funny and endearing and cute <3 also thank u for always supplying the cute cat pics bc there is a SEVERE drought going on 🙏 i hope u get some sleep bc i'm always worried ab you y'know <3

💌 lili // @y--eontan 🦎

o lilicat how i adore you, you're so funny and brazen and sweet and every time i see you lurking in chat i just wanna go pspspsps 😽 before we started talking i remember seeing your emoji gifset and i remember thinking this is so cool i can't wait to see the part 2!! and then you messaged me and i was like :0 your reactions to gunwookie are soo cute that i just wanna spam you with every noot noot/cheek pic i see~ it's so funny the way you complain about stuff and block people you have no patience for lmaooo i am seated for our next complaining sesh 🫡 your comments and little quips always catch me off guard bc you're so deadpan and i love your sense of humor haha also when you drew that lil orange puppy on the art i made for you? *bursts into tears* <3

💌 hope // @zeroze 🕊️

my cute hopieee i'm so sorry i called u buzz lightyear when all u wanted to be was bubbles 😭 it's so much fun theorizing ab zb1 concepts with you bc we share one mind when it comes to our music tastes and thank you for always looking out for me and asking if i'm gonna watch stuff with you and making sure i go to bed at a reasonable hour 🫶 you're so sweet and kind and funny (thinking about the time you banned iana 💀) even tho you never let me have my own cute emoji reacts :'( i hope your exhibition wraps up well and you can fiiiinally have the break you deserve! and i also hope you have the best time in japan/korea (if we don't end up meeting up!!) and i SWEARRR i'll go to bed earlier (just for u 😚) <3

💌 maria // @sunghanbinie 🌺

aka jiff, lieutenant mario, and the other half of our shared braincell -- i love how we can talk about anything and everything, from when we wake up to when we go to bed, you've simply been there for everything. even though you torment me day-to-day with monkey allegations and thirsty matt gifs, you're also always there to listen to my troubles and check up on me when i'm feeling down - i appreciate you so so much from playing 49584 games together every night and spilling tea to fangirling over zb1 and giving me gif advice. you are my constant <3 i think you're so smart and funny and such a talented gifmaker and writer. i love our little jokes and making fun of each other at every opportunity, and i truly don't think being on zumblr would've been the same without you <3 i love you sooo much mwah mwah mwah <333

finally, a shoutout to moots who i haven't spoken to as much but who i want to get to know better because i just think they're so talented and cute and cool: @jinkiseason // @zb1s // @zerobaseone // @seokmatthewz // @sung-hanbin // @yunacoeur // @keiwook // @cinnajun // @juyomiao <3

this was written from the heart at like 4am and i hope you all know just how much i love and appreciate each and every one of you <3 1000 posts and 10000 more to go! can't wait to spend the next 2.5 years with y'all 😁

[rillils]

*me pushes you aggresively!!!*

RILS LISTEN. LISTEN RILSS i can't believe you just wrote a story based on my f1 steve. i was completely mesmerized by it that i accidentally squealed so loud at work and had to quickly cover my mouth. one of my coworkers looked at me and said "you okay?" and i said yeah, but truth is NO! I WANT TO ROLL ON THE GROUND AND SCREAM WHILE HOLDING MY PHONE🤣haha oh dear, i'm gonna think about your delicious writing piece for the next few months (especially the one where steve was in the sunset, the kissing scene and bucky's cigarette drop💖 THATS JUST SO MMMWAHH MWAH MWAH). ashdjfdk i love you rils. i love how you react so gleefully towards others' people work including mine (even though i'm still learning how to draw🥺), you always make me swoon with your words and your support is the reason why so many ops continue to pursue their arts hehe. thank you so much my precious. now pls take this little feisty steve💓

AYA MY SWEETS 💖💕🌷💛💫💞✨💖💕💖 AKDHSUHSJSK I LOVE YOU

This is one of sweetest messages I have ever received in my entire life, and I'm still smiling like a complete dumbass BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FJDHKSLSK💕💕💕 I wish I had the skills to write a whole fic based on your art, rather than just a silly little headcanon screamed in the tags, but!!!!! Your art is so inspiring, sometimes I just can't help myself!! IT'S TOO GOOD AHGDUSHSH 💕💖✨💞✨ I'm not kidding here darling, your art tag is an actual treasure from start to finish and I want everybody to know that 💖💖💖 And yes, I will absolutely confess that I have a soft spot for your Steve art, and every time I see a new post, a new AU by you, all I can do is SQUEAL SQUEAL SQUEAL AND SQUEAL SOME MORE

You might still be learning, but your art has such a beautiful, delicate, soft quality that I can't even describe, it's like- like if strawberry milk and peach flavoured yogurt had a baby, you know?? That sweetness! That delicious velvety creaminess!! Aya my love, your art isn't just art, it's a whole mood, it's its own brand of aesthetic, it's a feeling! an emotion!! And it's gorgeous and I love it!!!! with my entire heart!!!! and I'm gonna tell everyone willing to listen!!! And I believe that art always shows a little bit of the artist who created it, and your art radiates pure beauty, pure sweetness, pure love coming straight from your beautiful beautiful heart, 'cause you're gorgeous inside and out, my dear 💖💖💖💖💖

You, and all the amazing talented artists in this fandom, bring me so much joy every day, making all this wonderful art about these two boys that I love so dearly, and when I get silly in the tags (aka all the time, let's be real xD), that's just me trying to convey how happy you guys make me, and how grateful I am for every single work of art I get to enjoy thanks to you all 💕💕💕

I love love love love you sweet Aya, and also I'm 100% stealing that little feisty Steve because *SCREECH* HE'S PERFECT!!!! 💞✨💕💖💫💓💞

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! MWWUUUUAH

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

My latest passion project, so yeah. I landed on a name after some brainstorming with a friend and now I’m free to post 😁 

This will continue the story of Fuegoleon and Solara after a few months of what happened in Embers of Sun and Flame, and it will be canon compliant and typical at the same level as the first book. So, sexual themes will be added, but I haven’t decided on smut. However, all smut will be tagged, and posted so that the story itself can be enjoyed by those not interested in smut. 

This will contain multiple chapters, and a book masterlist will be made in the future.

Do tell if you want to be tagged for the future chapters 💖

Keep in mind that this series will contain themes that some may find upsetting. This will include violence, at the same level as in canon, some sexual themes, and other possible triggers, so readers are advised to proceed with caution. I will, however, tag triggers that come to mind at the moment of posting. 

And just as with the first book, not all OC presented are mine. Namely Aika that is mentioned in this chapter, belongs to @/simpingforthisonedeer here on Tumblr

Warnings: mentions of alcohol

Length: ~4,8k

Chapter 1: Preparing for the worst

Solara placed her hands onto a railing and looked into the distance. The fields before her opened up as wide, and seemingly everlasting, perhaps a fitting representation of the future ahead of her. Well, her and him.

A smile crept onto her face. One that was faint, but insistent. One that bubbled up from her chest, climbing from her heart, and reached right onto her lips from where it could be seen; put on display for all the world to see. The flutter of her heart, the swirling, swaying, lifting sensation wanted nothing more than to rise to the surface and proclaim its very existence for anyone who might see. Because that flutter was anything but ashamed. It wasn’t scared, well, perhaps a tiny bit, but for a different reason. It was proud. It was ecstatic. It didn’t quite know what to do with itself. Other than rise up, and coat her lips, tugging the corners of her mouth so high up that they tried to reach the blissful heavens where she must’ve been.

And the scared. The faint, lingering veil of scared. It only had to do with realizing just how in love she was.

It was almost silly.

Almost.

And yet whenever she gazed down onto her hands, seeing her engagement ring, she couldn’t help but feel a lull of her tender emotions amplifying. She couldn’t help it, but neither did she want to help it. Instead, she welcomed it, savoured it, treasured it.

The sensation of the ring was still there all throughout the day. After all, it had barely been a few months since then. The time was far too short to get fully used to the feeling of the ring around her finger, so she was aware of it. She was being reminded of the fact that she was loved, cared for and valued; that she was wanted by him. But more than anything, it reminded her of him. It reminded her of him, because it was a symbol of his affection for her. And she wanted to preserve it the best she could. Which is why she kept turning it around on her finger, whenever the more embellished side of it rolled around onto her palms side, trying to make sure that it would experience as little wear and tear as possible.

The ring, was meant to last for a lifetime, after all. Thus, mindlessly hitting and scraping it against every surface that she came by, seemed… foolish, careless, even horrid, in a strange way. Because doing so felt like dismissing the testimony, paying no attention to it, even disgracing it. It was, as if, she wouldn’t have cared if the ring was on her finger or not.

But she did, she did care. She loved it, because he gave it to her. The memory of him slipping it onto her finger was sweet to her, even despite the pain that coexisted with the memory, for not all that happened that day was pleasant. Not everything, but the pain, the sorrow and the worry, it spoke of his love for her. And she couldn’t just… ignore it. She couldn’t ignore that portion of the testimony; how much it pained him to see her so broken, and hurt. It had been, as if he had felt her pain along with his own, so that she might not feel any.

But it was absurd! Of course, she would feel that pain too. She would, in turn, feel his pain as her own. And that suffering, the statement of him not being able to watch from the side lines, if she chose to keep doing that, to keep hurting, ending up battered and broken, simply because it would be a slow death for him as well, it was also her death. Or it would be her death; at least that part of her that inhabited her mortal form, the part of her, that would continue in the ever-after.

If there was one.

His death, would be hers as well.

She sighed, and shook her head.

I’ve been so… unwise… Though, I had a reason for each of those occasions, where I ended up in that state. There was also a reason. And it was… the right thing… Perhaps there would have been other ways to get around, but one rarely thinks of them in the spur of the moment. I… do feel bad for making him worry, and I don’t want him to do so again. Not because of me. But I-, just-, sometimes I can’t bear the idea of choosing to not do anything, if it’d mean…

Faces of people, and images of places, flashed through her mind; settling onto one, in the end.

That I’d lose it; it all…

“You’ve been out here for a long time.” The words cascaded onto her like the first snow of winter that had already arrived. But instead, the cold was subsided by a warm, caring embrace that caught her, wrapping a pair of arms around her middle and pulling her closer.

His hair draped along the side of his face, pressing against hers as well, which made her tickle as she turned her head towards him, and pressed her forehead against his, the best she could.

“I have?” She smirked with a faint melody in her undertone while leaning against his chest.

“Yes,” he whispered against her skin before planting a brief kiss onto it, one that held the softness of a landing snowflake in it, but none of the chill. “You’ll catch a cold at this rate. And besides…” his right arm parted from her just enough to take a hold of her hand.

He let his flames caress her skin, travel over it as if planting kisses, and intwined his fingers together with hers. And the soft, prominent, gentle and stern hold that he had of her, assured her that he’d be there, keeping her warm.

“Your hands are freezing,” he continued while bringing her hand onto his lips and placing a kiss onto the back of her palm.

“Not when you’re holding them,” she grinned.

A chuckled escaped him, one which rolled down her cheek, tickling her in the process. “Let’s go inside,” he stated while tugging her along with him through the doors and into their shared bedroom where a fire roared within the contains of a fireplace.

It was a warm winter day, or so it felt. Snow still glittered in the low hanging afternoon sun outside, but after the blizzards and raging ice and frost, this felt mellow, even warm, despite the temperature being below freezing. Even if only barely.

“Is something worrying you?” He inquired while closing the door behind them, and allowing the warmth, that felt almost hot, of the room lick her skin and make her feel as if blood began coursing through her body again.

“You mean more than it should?” She quirked an eyebrow at him, while still wearing a smirk over her lips; referring to the events that would take place in just a few months.

Another chuckle fell from him, but this one was heavier, one that was painted with sorrow and the burdens of their positions. “Fair enough,” he agreed while taking her hands into his again. “But that doesn’t quite answer my question.”

“True,” she replied before leaning closer and pressing her lips against his cheek.

But she didn’t pull back. Instead, her face stayed hovering over his, lingering, wondering if it might pepper his complexion with butterfly kisses instead. Even if the decision was easy, and her lips landed onto his skin again, after only a brief, passing moment. And they did so again, and again, and again.

And just once more, as if to seal it.

“There’s nothing particularly troubling me. I’m just thinking,” she stated while finally pulling back and looking deep into his eyes that weren’t quite lavender nor royal purple. The eyes that smiled to her, and spoke without words, professing things that words never could.

“What are you thinking? The dinner perhaps?” He suggested with an almost tilt of his head. The action was so small, so almost insignificantly small, that one had to be looking at him whenever he did so. And even then, it was easy to miss. But. The small act that she had caught, made her smile. It was an adorable trait of his, that he had, most likely, adopted from her without realizing. And it was a secret she chose to keep for herself.

“The dinner went well,” she smiled with a small roll of her eyes. “What’s there to think about?”

He let out a thoughtful hum, during which a small glimmer appeared in the corner of his eye. “It did go far better than expected. Your parents were on their best behaviour,” he spoke with a smirk.

A laugh left her with the latter remark, making her sway her head. “My parents? Of course they were,” she grinned back before placing a kiss onto his jaw line. “And so were your parents.”

“Naturally,” his words fell from him with soft syllables, and cascaded onto her. “We should do that with our siblings as well.”

“We should,” she agreed. “Rory would have come already now, but she had exams to study for, plus it was established that on that occasion, it was supposed to be just our parents and us.”

“She’s about Leo’s age, isn’t she?”

“She is, and I think they’d get along. Relatively well at least.”

He nodded to her, and nudged her head with his before making his way to a cabinet in the corner of the room, taking two wine glasses out. “I can’t say that I would be worried for the future, family, dinners,” he stated. “Quite frankly, if I’m perfectly honest, this was the dinner I was worried for the most.”

“Oh?” She hummed while taking a few, slow steps towards him, almost as if assessing, but more curious than anything. “How so?”

“Because…” he sighed, and looked up, wondering how to dress it properly. But. Sadly, the answer wasn’t written on the ceiling. Not on this occasion, just like it had been on none of the occasions before. “I… can’t say that I was certain that your parents like me,” he admitted.

“Hmmm…” she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his middle, resting her chin onto his shoulder as he poured them glasses of wine. “I suppose I can see why,” she thought out loud. “But their issue was mostly the whole Mereo-came-unannounced -thing. Plus, you know, you being the very evil man who’s stealing their eldest into a foreign nation.” The statement rolled from her with faint amusement, but this time it didn’t latch onto him as well.

“That’s my concern,” he stated while turning around. “We’re trying to establish friendly relations with our nations, but they worry, as parents, about you moving into a country that they know very little of. And you’re their first-born daughter, the example of which at least one of your sisters seems to follow, which can easily create the figment of them losing all their children into another nation. And them being left alone, back into Thea. That all would then be my fault, because I ‘snatched’ the first one away. In addition it doesn’t help that the first encounters we, me and your parents had, were on such-“

“You’re overthinking, my love,” she hushed him, and placed her hand onto his cheek; her thumb drawing circles onto his skin.

“I have to take it into consideration,” he spoke with hushed syllables and looked at her with a faint veil of melancholy over his eyes.

“And you think that my parents would blame you for me falling in love with you?”

“They wouldn’t say so, I believe. But their feelings need to be taken into consideration.”

“They do, and it’s only smart,” she admitted, giving him a slight smile. “As in, it’s only smart to take their emotions into an account. But they don’t hate you for loving me, or me loving you.”

“But taking you away from Thea?” He suggested with a smile that was laced with sorrow.

“Are you really taking me?” She tapped the tip of his nose with her index finger, and flashed him a smirk. “Don’t think that I won’t be expecting you to familiarize yourself with at least a bit of Thean politics, outside of building foreign relations. Because our children will know of both worlds,” she insisted; but she insisted with a smile.

“Well I-“

“And though it is true that you captivated me with your eloquent speech, charmingly handsome features, a loving heart, and a brilliant mind,” she began, making him let out an amused scoff as his eyes shifted to the side for a moment. “But even so, I’m not here against my own will or wish. So, if they want to blame someone, they can blame me.”

“You’re flattering me, my love,” he spoke with a whisper as his eyes turned back to gaze into hers, seeing the small specks on gold lighting up in her eyes as a result of the roaring fire. And that roaring fire reflected the burning of their hearts, the song and dance of passion, but also that of commitment.

Her smirk widened with his words, as they brough forth a memory. “I don’t believe that I am,” she stated.

A few seconds ticked away as he tried to remember the strangely familiar undertone in her voice. And then, it dawned on him. “You don’t give up easily, don’t you?”

“No, I do not,” she giggled, making the veil of melancholy and sorrow be pulled from him, and allowed one of nothing but gentle, adoring undertones take its place.

He looked at her, just looked at her, until he let out a puff of air with his lips tugged up into a wide, wide smile. And he shook his head. “I love you,” he stated before placing a kiss onto her forehead.

“I love you too,” she whispered back. “[I love you…]” she repeated, with another whisper.

“[And I love you,]” he repeated while pressing his head against hers.

She pressed a kiss onto his jawline and pulled away, brushing away a few strands of his hair. “And I’m so… happy,” her head swayed from side to side as her right hand began travelling down and to his left hand. She entwined her fingers together with his, and felt the smooth surface of his ring pressing against her skin.

“So am I,” he replied while taking her left hand into his, and letting his flames envelop her fragile fingers into its hold.

They fumbled with each other’s rings, running their fingers over the gilded surfaces as if to make sure that the other was indeed wearing it; trying to work through the disbelief of it. The months that had preceded it were still playing in their heads, as if a repetition, trying to establish that it was far too concise to be a fever dream, but instead, a reality.

But his expression, it took again an undertone, one of melancholy. One that held fears, and sorrows, of things that he hoped would never come. “And… I hope that we will be,” he spoke with a tone that pricked her skin with a feather light touch, speaking of the horrors he didn’t dare utter.

“You preparing for the worst again?”

“… yes,” he admitted after a brief pause. The words fell from him like a weight, a cape made of lead and terror of the things he would lose; the future he might lose.

“Hey…” she placed her hand onto his cheek again, and looked at him, imploring his eyes to turn to her once more. “We’ll make it,” she tried, not knowing any better than he did, what the future would hold. All they had, was the wish, the hope that they would indeed survive the upcoming war, and the devils that sought to pour into the world.

“I want to believe that, my love,” he spoke with tired, heavy syllables, but it was to be expected after the meeting he had had with the other captains.

“I didn’t say that the war would be easy,” she paused for a moment as her thumb kept drawing circles onto his cheek. “What I said was that we’ll make it.”

There was a pause, a moment of hesitation where his eyes travelled to his right arm and its flickering flames. But as soon as they had fallen to the side, they turned back and looked at her, at her smile, and the glimmer in her eyes instead. “If you say so,” he finally spoke out, giving her a tired smile.

Her eyes had followed his onto the flaming arm, and back, now locking gazes with him. “You know what my father used to tell me when I was little?” It was an absurd question, but only because he couldn’t have known what Lord Equinox used to tell her while growing up.

So, he shook his head. “No, I can’t say that I do.”

“He used to tell me that…” she paused for a moment, frowning as her eyes became directed blankly ahead of her, or perhaps into the depths of his cape; either way, she only frowned in such manner when she thought, trying to bend foreign syllable around her tongue. “Even if the night sky is dark, pitch black, with no sun, or the moon for guidance, there are still millions upon millions of stars flickering. And they might be small, they might seem insignificant, but they aren’t alone, and their light makes the perhaps otherwise unbearably empty heavens above seem bearable. That’s why stars symbolize hope.”

He let out a heavy breath, one that was almost a scoff, and shook his head. “Your father is… a wise man,” he finally stated, before pressing his forehead against hers again. “My starlight,” he continued with a hushed tone.

“You’ve been spending too much time with grandma Idalia,” she giggled.

“She had been of great assistance to us, but I don’t see how I’ve spent too much time with her, or how it’s relevant to the topic,” he replied, speaking out the words as if crafting an official statement while pulling back from her.

“No, I mean,” she smirked while glancing up for a brief second. “She used to continue that, on a separate occasion that… the sun is also a star. And thus, it’s okay to sometimes be ‘just a star’.”

“I see,” he replied as the more serious expression melted back into a tender smile. “In that case you are my stars, and my sun, the celestial bodies that give light.”

“I-… How am I supposed to reply to that?” She whined with amusement, letting out a chuckle at the end.

“You are not,” he smirked in triumph.

“Meanie,” she grinned before placing a kiss onto the corner of his mouth.

“In this context, I’ll gladly be one.”

“I see,” she laughed. “Only in this context.”

“Naturally,” he replied before placing a kiss onto her temple.

There was a moment of silence that lingered in the air, a moment shared without words, because there weren’t any. And since there weren’t any to add into the conversation, there wasn’t a need to fill the space with empty, hollow words, and instead a meaningful silence was allowed to settle over them; envelope them, wrap them together into a silken scarf of mutual understanding.

“How was your day otherwise, dear?” He inquired, initiating another conversation while handing her one of the wine glasses, and taking the other for himself.

“It… was alright,” she sighed before taking a sip of her drink as he waited for her to continue. “Oh. Nothing much,” she commented with a round motion of her hand. “I’ve just bene trying to have constructive conversation about… um, well, the behaviour and cultural views of you Cloverians with the Extended Council.”

He opened his mouth, but closed it with a slight frown.

“Yes?”

“Extended Council?”

“The Council, plus the Next Heads of their respective Houses,” she explained.

He nodded, having received the clarification that was needed. But as the gratitude, and perhaps relief of not having missed anything crucial, subsided, another frown overtook his expression. And that frown had to do with the first question that had surfaced to him. “What did Augustus do this time?”

“Mh, well, it wasn’t actually Augustus this time,” she corrected while taking another sip.

“Pardon?” He quirked an eyebrow.

“Well, you know Julius and his habit of going about while exploring different types of magic in a disguise-“

“No?”

“Oh… Well, he does it,” she commented, making his brows rise for a moment, only to settle back into a disbelieving frown that was combined with a veil of disappointment, defeat, and slight horror. “And though I understand that he’s very intrigued about us, and maybe, I want to give him the benefit of a doubt and try to see from his enthusiastic perspective here,” she added. “Maybe he’s trying to be subtle by going around in a disguise.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“It’s not exactly well received in Thea. I mean… even if he was doing so as... himself, having asked for permission to do so, people would be sceptical. But since he disguised himself, and got caught, it’s evoking a lot of emotions.” She paused for a moment to sigh to herself. “They are taking into consideration that he’s under, um, let’s say ‘under close inspection’ by Madam Tolliver-“

“Aika?”

“Yes,” she confirmed, making a vast array of emotions, disbelief and surprise being the most prominent, flash over his expression. “They’re being-, it’s better. Because she hasn’t exactly fallen out of favour with us. Well. I mean. She is a former associate of my mother’s, but her company still operates in Thea, so they’re taking her word, and her view on it, as a trusted outside perspective on the matter. But it’s… still difficult. They’re keeping a close eye on him as of now, and haven’t confronted him about it yet. Partly because they want to see if he’d try to do something detrimental while being under the impression of not being watched, and partly because of Category Two mana being a pain to control in the first place.”

“I-, uh…” he breathed out. “Category Two?”

“Time Magic.”

“I… see…” he sighed.

“So. As of now… well, maybe the Princess put it best by asking Queen Anima: ‘Two kings in a Kingdom and not even one whole ruler? Why do we want them as allies?’ And… it amused a lot of them.”

“A..ha.”

“And that was only based on her hearing a part of the conversation while walking in to ask something from the Queen.”

He stayed silent.

“She’s twelve, if you wondered about it.”

“That-, not really no…”

She paused for a moment, allowing him to catch his breath, and try to take a hold of his swirling thoughts. “You want the silver lining of all of this?” She asked; giving him a faint smile.

His head swayed from side to side with a faint motion, as if trying to shed away the burden of the information he had just received. But in the end, he looked into her eyes with implore. “If you can’t spare me a gold lining,” he attempted to joke.

“That’s you,” she replied, with a proper smile this time.

“I’m your gold lining?” He asked; reflecting her smile as his own.

“You’re only finding out that now?”

He let out an amuse huff.

“But seriously speaking, that is the silver lining. They have gotten to know you well enough, and have seen that … when it comes to juridical aspects of it all, and … representing those in power, you’re doing the best you can. Because you can only work with the material you’re given, so… They recognize that you can’t overrule the Kings, just like none of us can overrule the Queen.”

He looked at her, trying to determine if that could be count as a silver lining.

“But the more time progresses, the more they wonder how Clover is still standing.”

“Well…. I-, at times I ask myself that very question.”

Her brows shot up. “Oh? I thought that you’d answer something like ‘with the tireless efforts of the Squad Captains, the Royal advisor and many other representatives we have found a way to prevail.’”

He paused for a brief moment. “I would like to change my answer.”

“Too late,” she pecked the tip of his nose.

“What a shame…” he spoke with hushed syllables as a smile rose over his lips for a faint moment. “So… Should I talk with Julius about this?”

“No, not yet at least,” she shook her head. “Queen Anima is keeping the most crucial documents and other… things, close by and under her own surveillance. So, for now they’re keeping things as they are. There’s also the added reason not to evoke … disagreements as there’s the impending threat of Devils pouring in,” she placed her hand onto his cheek, drawing circles onto it with her thumb. “It’s about choosing our battles. And when to have them.”

“About choosing our allies?” He suggested with a tired smile.

She nodded. Just once, but she did.

He placed his glass back onto the table, and pulled her into his arms.

“Can you take mine too?” She asked with a whisper.

He nodded, and took her glass, putting it away as well. And he took a hold of her again.

She, in turn, wrapped her arms around him, and gathered some fabric of his clothes into her hands.

And so, they stayed for a moment, one blessed, or perhaps, bittersweet moment. There was understanding between them, though it wasn’t all understanding of pleasant things. But. What consolation it might have been, it was beginning to seem as if people would no longer, or at least little by little, thinking that they weren’t fit for each other. Even if with one step at a time, it was beginning to look like neither one of them was deemed as unfit for the other. Instead, what was laid between them, was a lot of ‘others’. Other things. Other people. Not even necessarily looking to be in between them. But by their own motives and actions, they had been laid there, on the ground, as a barrier. And even if neither admitted it out loud, they hated it.

They hated it. But saying so was unnecessary, because it was obvious. They both knew the other hated it just as much as they did. The pain, the sorrow, the… inconvenience of it all.

But. Life was rarely as kind, as to just freely give such blessings as love. And, just as they had chosen to do, not too long ago, they’d need to do time, and time again. They’d need to choose to love each other through the difficulties, the arguments, the downs, of life.

“I love you,” she whispered against his skin with silk like syllables.

“[I love you too,]” he replied with sacredness of all the relics the heavens would have to offer.

A moment of silence.

Only the crackling of fire in the fireplace was heard, that and the faint, almost inaudible sound of their breathing.

It was as if, in that silence, wordless understanding served as if a period at the end of a statements. The act of not needing to add anything after it, after saying those three little words, after the ‘I love you’, made it definite. The weight of their very emotions was in that silence, and it felt as if it looked to make heavens bend under its weight.

What an absurd feeling it was, because they were only two people. Two mortals; dangling on the threads of fate just like any others. Even if the threads had spun into strings, and strings into ropes, it was still only a rope around the hearts of two mortals with no say or way to bend the heavens into any direction they didn’t want to bend. All they could do, was hold onto each other while being adrift in the sea of time, and life.

They nudged each other’s heads once, as if to state one more testimony of love in that room, in that one room that knew them.

But all they could do, was trust each other, on the road forward and into that which was about to happen.

[tuiyla]

Sentimental Affection: Hambo, the Shirt, and Objects of Psychic Resonance

Adventure Time and the mundane, aka Daddy, why did you eat my fries?

Ever a show to be full of hidden symbolism and so much more under the surface than its 11-minute runtime would allow, Adventure Time uses seemingly mundane objects like a teddy bear or a T-shirt to convey the monumental importance of character dynamics. This doesn’t only apply to objects but actual parts of one’s self, like Finn’s arm and the interwoven significance of his many swords. And then, there’s Marceline.

Like with many of the show’s more complex aspects, this is especially prevalent in Marceline’s story. How do you stress the sheer volume of having lived for a thousand years? How do you signify the lack of letting go of the past, lack of maturity? You give a girl a teddy bear and have her hold on to it for as long as she can. And it’s not just Hambo that adds unexpected depth to Marceline’s character and her relationship with others. There’s the infamous rock shirt, which we’ll get to, and then there’s the French fries eaten by Hunson Abadeer.

As iconic as the Fry Song has become and as synonymous with the complex Abadeer father-daughter relationship as it is, it seems silly, at first glance, that Marceline would be so upset over that simple transgression. But Adventure Time has a special talent for making the mundane whimsical and significant, so through the context of the full song, through little glimpses here and there, we understand the symbolism of the fries. It’s Hunson’s disregard for Marceline’s feelings, his carelessness, his lack of understanding, that really matters.

Just a teddy in the wreckage of the world

So what about Hambo? Hambo is, for a while, everything to Marceline. Hambo is the one representation of her relationship with Simon that she has left. It’s a remnant from the wreckage of the world, a plushie given to a scared little girl by an equally scared old man. It’s the one thing Simon leaves behind when he abandons Marcy, for her own good, and summons Hunson to take care of her instead. But Hunson eats those fries and so Marceline takes the family axe instead and keeps it as safe as she keeps Hambo.

Hambo stays with Marceline long after she turns into a vampire, ever a symbol of the tragic childhood she lost and yet is stuck in. It’s not a coincidence that she’s implied to tolerate much of Ash’s jerkish behaviour but draws the line when he sells Hambo for a new wand. That’s the only thing of Simon, the real Simon that she has left and it matters more than a boyfriend who doesn’t care about that. Disregard for Hambo is disregard for her. So Marceline keeps moving all across Ooo, both to escape from this new, twisted version of Simon and to find the one thing that proves he wasn’t always like this.

You kept the shirt I gave you?

Let’s take a break from Hambo for a moment. Let’s picture a time long before Finn washed up on the shores of Ooo, before the Candy Kingdom grew into what it is today. Marceline and Bonnibel are friends, maybe more - details depend on whatever nuggets “Obsidian” gives us. For a while, it works, and Marceline gives Bonnie a rock T-shirt. That shirt is so quintessentially Marcy that it becomes a symbol of their relationship when it’s with PB. The two drift apart, though, as Bonnie becomes known as Princess Bubblegum to everyone else and Marceline leaves before she can be left behind. The shirt becomes a sort of inverse of Hambo: a token of love that’s - as Marceline initially thinks - never cared for. Bitter as she might be over this, Marcy leaves it all behind as she left Hunson with the fries. She never really got to grow beyond being that young girl who was left Hambo in the snow.

Except, Finn does come along, eventually, and he brings Bonnie and Marcy together again. It’s intense and Marceline lashes out because, well, sorry she’s such an inconvenience. But in truth, it’s Marceline who tags along to defeat the Door Lord despite having no stakes in the mater, and it’s PB who wants to get her precious possession back. Her treasure is, of course, Marceline’s shirt. The one she always has worn, just in the comfort of her own room or under something else. Not out in the open, one might say, but constantly nonetheless, even long after Marceline was gone from her life. A reminder of what they had as much as Hambo is a reminder of who Simon was to Marcy.

That’s the wonder of “What Was Missing”. It lampshades the potential cheesiness of the message, that being “the real treasure is friendship”, but it is genuine in how it portrays that message beyond what would be expected of a kids’ cartoon. Finn keeps a piece of Bubblegum’s hair, but PB is right there to hang out with whenever they want to. Bonnie keeps Marcy’s shirt because she thinks it’s as close as she’ll get to be around her again, but Marceline tagged along just for the joy of being around them. What these two examples have in common is that both Finn and PB want something more from the relationship with the actual person, something they think is unattainable, so they hold on to the objects instead of reaching out.

I’ll get your kid back, toy

So what about Hambo and Marceline reaching out to Simon? When the Ice King inevitably finds her, again, Marceline is rightfully frustrated and just about ready to pack up and move again. But she’s grown these past few years since Finn entered her life and helped her face her past demons. It breaks her heart but she starts accepting Simon back into her life. They hang out and she insists on calling him Simon, because she never stopped viewing him that way. She knows who he used to be, even if he doesn’t, and she clings onto the representation of that hope, Hambo.

Marceline is already in a much better place by the time “Sky Witch” rolls around than she was at the start of the series. She kind of has Hunson, Simon and Bonnie in her life again. It’s all a bit complicated and unresolved - ”Stakes” isn’t for another two seasons - but she’s on her way. That doesn’t mean she’s gonna let the opportunity to get Hambo back pass by, so she asks for Bonnie’s help. It’s a bit awkward but she spent all this time being angry and feeling like she wasn’t good enough when PB cared enough to at least keep the shirt, so maybe that’s as much hope as Hambo is for Simon. And that’s exactly what “Sky Witch” proves, as Bonnie’s level-headedness helps Marcy navigate Maja’s treacherous turf and gets her Hambo back.

There's only one Hambo

There’s a misconception, a common and understandable one, but a misconception nonetheless when it comes to the shirt and Hambo. When Maja says that Hambo’s psychic resonance is nothing compared to the shirt’s, it’s easy to see the implication being that the shirt is that much more important. Therefore, Marceline is that much more important to PB than Simon is to Marcy. This isn’t entirely inaccurate but I also think that what’s important here is not to put these two objects and therefore the two relationships on the same scale. It implies that we’re comparing the familial type of love between Simon and Marcy to the romantic love between Bonnie and Marcy and that’s just a false and pointless comparison. Instead, the significance once again comes through trademark Adventure Time subtlety.

“What Was Missing” was mainly the Bubbline dynamic from Marcy’s perspective: her hurt, her anger over not knowing why it all ended. The twist with the shirt at the end only hints at PB’s side of things and “Sky Witch” takes it home. From the little moments at the beginning of the episode to the revelation that PB gave up the shirt for Hambo, it’s a full package. It’s in everything, including the scene where Peebs dismisses Hambo’s importance. It’s just a doll, totally replaceable, an insinuation which insults Marcy deeply. Bonnie doesn’t necessarily get why Hambo is so important but, in a way, PB does understand. She understands, because Hambo is to Marceline what the shirt is for her: hope.

When PB gives up the shirt, she gives up the only piece of Marceline she’s had for all these centuries. It wasn’t replaceable, just like Hambo wasn’t, but by giving it up she gives Marceline her most treasured possession, her hope. And you know what else? By giving up this remnant of the past, Bonnie gets Marceline back. “Sky Witch”, then, is the beginning of their new dynamic, as the lesson from the Door Lord finally sinks in. And by equating, in a way, Hambo and the shirt, after we’ve already seen in “I Remember You” and “Simon & Marcy” how monumental that relationship is, this makes Bonnie’s devotion to Marcy clear as day.

Magic, madness, sadness, and all the rest

Hambo becomes something even bigger in “Betty”. The reason why Maja wanted Hambo and then the shirt in the first place is because Adventure Time acknowledges within the logic of its own universe how important the love poured into these objects is. She uses the magic of the shirt and Simon uses the magic of Hambo. Marceline, reluctantly, lets go of Hambo because she just got Simon back, just as PB let go of the shirt and got Marcy back. Nothing is ever that straightforward in the land of Ooo, though, so Hambo brings Betty back but it can’t save Simon. Now Marceline got a taste of the old Simon, had hope, and it lives on in the person they sacrificed Hambo for: Betty.

Betty’s hope is misguided, though. With her time jump to modern day Ooo, a journey of denial and desperation begins that leads her and the whole land down a road of magic and madness. Betty’s shenanigans is its own separate post, really, and all the themes of acceptance, denial and change they represent. What I find fascinating in this context is how, again, in true AT style, the butterfly effect did its magic and the mundane lead into the whimsical and grandiose.

Right there where you left it, lying upside down

Simon gave a little Marcy her teddy doll and Ash carelessly passed it on. Marceline gave Bubblegum a rock shirt, something so quintessentially her that it was the one thing Peebs held onto even after all those years. The shirt was a symbol of their lingering connection and its sacrifice meant the start of a new chapter. The significance of the shirt was enough to get Hambo back, which in turn was powerful enough for Simon to get Betty back. And, eventually, by moving almost literal heaven and hell, Betty brings Simon back. Everything stays, but it still changes.

The shirt is not Marceline. Hambo is not Simon. Objects are not people, nor can we only be with people if we let go of those objects. That isn’t the message the show is going for. And these objects are only catalysts for character arc and dynamics in most cases, anyway. Marceline doesn’t grow up by letting Hambo go, she succeeds in leaving the past behind in “Stakes”. And, if the “Obsidian” trailer is any indication, even that doesn’t mean she’s done with all her demons.

What the intertwined stories of Hambo and the shirt tell us is that complex, emotional stories can be told through simple objects. A teddy doll can signify a thousand years of pain and yet provide hope, while a rock T-shirt can pack some good old-fashioned queer yearning into it. Hambo and the shirt aren’t even monumental parts of Marceline’s, Simon’s and Bubblegum’s stories, even if Adventure Time finds clever ways to use them in the plot. They are just two simple things that represent so much in terms of character development and some of the show’s central dynamics, and that’s damn good storytelling.

[jlf23tumble]

Hi Jen, ummm could you rec any bottoming dom Louis fics? 👀 and/or service top Harry?

LMAO, well, I don’t think I’ve actually tagged service top Harry in my bookmark collection, but I know I’ve tagged bottom dom Louis because, yeah, I love him [non-fisting fist] so much! The truly amazing thing is that there are a ton of fics I could dig out that have this dynamic, but I didn’t want to make this list literally exhausting, and yet I still have enough that I have to put this under a "keep reading” ribbon. And on top (heh) of that, I will guarantee you there’s an entire crew of blp ride or die people who won’t actually read any of this fic because of ~vibes. Fandom is silly, totally their loss, I could say so much, but I’m just tipsy enough to not want to reply to the inevitable shitty anons about so, enjoy!

Like I said, these are my faves, so hopefully you like them, too, or at least until @cisharry pulls together their fic fest, hmmmm...let’s dig in!

Clean, orphan_account, 1k. Look, you know I love a good pube-related fic, and this one is that PLUS some bottom Louis, and all in 1k? The sorcery!

Turns Out She’s a Devil (In-Between the Sheets), zedi, 3k. My god, this series, the very best explorations of genderfluid Harry and shifting pronouns, but this one? CHEF’S KISS.

Lay So Still, yougotmeitedown, 3k. This would be so fantastical, Harry wanting to be used like a piece of furniture, except for him actually saying it IRL. Canon, bb!

someone who knows how to ride, orphan_account, 3k. You can literally stop this list right here, anon, this is the exact story you wanted to read, no frills, pure PWP.

Girl, you can bend me..., enbyharry/ @cisharry, 3k. This title, she is so long, but this fic, she is too short, written out of pure spite, and SO GOOD, this is mpreg Harry fucking Louis, and it’s everything blp WISHES they could get.

Edged in Lace, someonesthatsfunny, 4k. One of the first fics I read in this fandom, yet nobody ever recs it but me? For shame!

thank you, navarro., starvingdoms, 4.4k. Harry gets his nips pierced, and Louis has some fun. I know I’ve described it differently in previous recs, but I swear, this is it.

give me forever for a while, mercutionnotromeo, 5.4k. This is one of my favorite writers, hands down, and this somehow manages to combine Harry petplay with bottom Louis? Yeah, VIBE CHECK, BITCHES.

Let me take it all and give you more, sorcxita, 6.8k. The author’s note! “Harry wants to be used; Louis wants to give him what he wants.” Okay!

in the rough, karamelised, 6.8k. This is a series that is SO GOOD in general, but this chapter? Yeah, Louis turnin’ the tables....and I’ll raise you another installment in it, highway to hell, if you’re too lazy to read the whole thing, same vibes. 

Heel, 13ways, 7k. SPEAKING OF SERIES, god, this one is such a fave, but this installment in particular, bit of the hate sex part of the arc, but so evenly matched.

Gnossienne, pukeandcry, 11k. True story, my first group chat in this fandom, someone asked me for fave fics (to vet me?), and I had this huge rando list that none of these people had read, including this one, and more’s the pity for them...this write up feels like one of those pre-recipe stories without the recipe, lmao, tl/dr, Louis challenges himself to wear a plug all day, and Harry (eventually) fucks him.

head head heart, @turnyourankle, 11k. Harry post-Dunkirk, tryin’ to scratch an itch.

It’s halftime. Are you ready to go?, momentofclarity/ @gaycousinlarry, 12k. One of my very fave authors, and this fic? The dynamics? The entire set up? I can’t do it justice in a few lines?

We can have some more, orphan_account, 12k. Whyyyyy am I such a sucker for premature ejaculator Harry Styles? And Louis trying to fix him??? 

Take Our Bodies Higher, @littlelouishiccups, 21k. Another one of my fave authors, and one of my fave stories/series for multiple reasons (daddy louis, phone sex operator harry, eventual piss kink, but not here, sigh).

Small Doses (Loving You It’s Explosive), QuickedWeen/ @becomeawendybird, 38k. Oooooh, this fic--this author! Again, tons of daddy kink and exploration of a ~theme, but the way Louis uses Harry? Nice.

Buried Like Treasure, QuickedWeen/ @becomeawendybird, 40k. See above, minus the daddy kink but YEAH, god, I love this one. 

Tied Down, HamPalpert/ @ham-palpert, 48k. Oh, hello, yes, just me rec’ing this story again, it’s so gripping, good, and g-on point for your request!

No Control series, @sadaveniren, 96k. I’ll just end on this note, this series has a LOT of explorations of so many themes, but the one you want is hugely in there!

[gallavictorious]

I was delighted to be tagged by Our Lady of Words and Joy @howlinchickhowl Cheers, dear!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Earlier today it was 40. Now it’s 39. WHAT GIVES? Did someone eat a story? Which one? I am so confused.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

137 098. At least that hasn’t changed...

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Highs, and Your Lows (i will weather them)

This Time (We'll Be Fine)

Teenage Tales

To Keep Your Gentle Heart

Captive Look

Huh. Would you look at that. All Gallavich stuff!

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Eh. Well. Listen, I always want and mean to respond to comments, because as a commenter I always love a response from the author, but I am procrastinator supreme so a lot of the time I just... don't. Not for a great long while at least. Then, two years AFTER you left a comment, you might get an e-mail notification about me responding. It's horrible, really, because I keep the comments in my heart and treasure them so much and the lovely people taking the time to leave a few words on my silly stories really do deserve better.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Life, Still to Come has the one main character Jim Moriarty killing himself and his lover Sebastian Moran after he's diagnosed with incurable brain cancer, so I guess that's pretty angsty? The tone of the fic, however, is... kinda soft and peaceful, really. It doesn't feel so very sad, I think.

For Gallavich, I've got Chapter 7 of my ficlet collection Highs, and Your Lows (i will weather them). It's an Wild West AU kind of deal, where Ian Gallagher is visited by the ghost of the young fiend Mickey Milkovich after his dad beats him to death. That one is sad, but there's the glimmer of a promise that they might meet again one day, in a better world.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

My fics mostly end on a happy note, and I have a hard time pinning down which is the happiest. Hm. I'm gonna say Pressure or possibly Foreign Country, if only because the happy endings there are offered in contrast to the otherwise angsty story and so seems all the happier for it.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have, once. Well, started one, really. Notes Regarding the End of the World is a crossover between Sherlock BBC and Mark Lawrence's The Broken Empire trilogy. I still feel there's a bunch of potential there, but I'm very hesitant I'll ever finish it.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not to my recollection, no. Back when I posted my SW fic on the Jedi Council forums you might receive critical comments at times, but no hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not really, no. I'm not very interested in reading it, and so see very little point in writing it. There's been a few semi-explicit depictions of sexual acts – most notably in Claim – and I'm not averse to writing kink fic, even if they don't typically include actual sex when I do. For instance, I did The Ways We Bend and Break and Mend for X-Men, and the whole point was Charles first whipping Erik and then cuddling him – except in the end it turned into a character study with lots of emotions, and I think any attempts to write smut would be like that for me. Accidental character drama. XD

I might have a Gallavich thing for kinktober that is likely to be pretty explicit and kinda messed up. We'll see.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so. There have been a few instances of stuff popping up bearing a strong resemblance to things I've written, but there's also been times when I realize that things I have written bear a (very much unintentional) strong resemblance to other stuff that predates them, so I really think that's the nature of the beast. In any big fandom, the same ideas are likely to occur to multiple people, and we are all, often unconsciously, inspired by the same things and by each other.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah, to Chinese and Russian.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Pathoftheranger and I co-wrote (How to Break the) Alibi Armistice, which was fun!

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I'm a creature of ever-changing affections, so I'm not so good with ”all-time favourite”  and to be honest, I mostly tend to have favourite characters and ship them with everything in sight... Currently it's all about Gallavich but pretty much all ships including Jim Moriarty is forever gold to me (though MorMor is The Best. Or is it Sheriarty? Or maybe Mormorlock? Or Moriadlock? Or Johmlock – notice the 'm'?). Cherik's a big one too!

Ask me again in six months and my answer might well have changed!

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The aforementioned Notes Regarding the End of the World. And I have this superlong Star Wars fic I started writing when I was 16 and wrote for years and years and then just... stopped writing, when I was maybe 20 pages from the end? It's currently at 180k words. This one I DO have some hope that I will go back and finish one day, although it's likely to be a jarring experience since I'm very much not 16 years old any more and my ideas about writing and the characters and everything have shifted quite a bit.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I do pretty well with the short format, I think. And with dialogue? Finding the voice of the characters (some more than others, certainly). Writing in my native Swedish, I think I'm pretty good at offering decent prose – I'd like to think I have a fairly developed ear for the flow of the text, and the melody of it? But when writing in English, that gets quite a bit harder. This really annoys me, because I'm rather preoccupied with the stylish elements of writing – though I've found that a lot of people seem happy enough to overlook clunky writing as long as they find the story otherwise engaging, which is a huge blessing for me. I believe I can build a decent plot, but since I can't write anyting longer than a few K these days there's no telling, is there?

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Primarily getting any writing done at all. Mostly, I stare at a blank page and despair and then I give up. This is why I no longer write long fic. I also tend to reuse favorite phrases or themes far too often. And there are so many subclauses... Proofreading happens to other people (I'd like it to happen to me too, but I'm terrible with it). I'm not good at accepting constructive criticism, even when I ask for it. I will often favour style over efficiency, and I'll stubbornly refuse to admit that this can be a problem.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

This question makes me feel like I ought to have developed thoughts on this, but I don't so much... I don't mind it? I've used it. Uh. It's a good idea to do a bit of research and not just rely on Google translate for it? If you don't like it, don't use it. Those are my thoughts.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars. <3

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Buffy/Angel/Spike. The Book of All Hours. Heroes. Maybe something based on The Coldfire Trilogy... ? Oh, and the Bible. I'm sure there are others.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I really don't have one. There are a few I'm particularly happy with, but no one that truly stands out... That said, I was quite chuffed with how the first ficlet in Or Else Into the Light, my (tiny) collection of Anakin redemption one-shots, turned out. And Claim. I’m very pleased with Claim.

Tagging @dreamylyfe-x @fiona-fififi @pathoftheranger @abundanceofnots and @captainjowl

[kai-keda]

Cowards Die Many Times | DreamSMP Fanfic

Wow okay so I literally JUST made a post flat-out making fun of myself for writing this but in the tags I made a comment of “Should I post this?” and wow three people already reblogged with comments expressing I share.

So, you can thank (or blame lol) @thesmpisonfire @tommyistheprotagofthesmp and @ak3m0n for this being posted here at all. Depending on what the response to this is on here, I may or not post it on a03 and, again, depending on the response, I may or may not make this a sort of collection of one-shots detailing different death scenes and how the characters felt in those moments.

A/N:

THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE REAL LIFE STREAMERS!

I view the DreamSMP storyline as a sort of Dungeons and Dragons game with no real DM. Just players running around a world that they create as they go along and cause whatever chaotic instances and plot points they can manage. As such, while I write this and as you read this I want you to remember - burn into your brain - that this story isn’t about the real Minecraft streamers. They aren’t even streamers in this fic, they are fictional characters living in a made-up fictional world. I get that the line is blurred due to the nature of the videos this is based on, but I view it as being sort of like how when you write a character like Spiderman, you’re writing Spiderman, not Tobey Maquire.

All that being said, I really wanted to just write this concept of how death and respawn works with Tubbo from a certain festival event but as it turns out, he is very uncomfortable with the concept of fanfiction written about him. (Thank you SMP-boundaries for your God sent Tumblr) As such, even though I don’t see it as me writing literally him as I’m sure he’s seen plenty of, I won’t include anything from his perspective and try to limit any sort of mention of him. (I can’t bring myself to surgically remove him entirely. That would just be impossible because of how much of a part he plays both in what visibly happens and in Tommy’s development) ALSO PLEASE do not go out of your way and tag or try to show any of the Minecraft streamers/youtubers involved in this (not that y’all would lol). I happen to know that Tommy especially doesn’t want to see them even if he’s okay with them existing.

This was also meant to be a sort of collection of ficlets in one chapter. It was going to include more than this one scene and even include a POV from Wilbur but, uh, wow I got really carried away heh

SO YEAH! Now we got the important bits out of the way, please enjoy~

Cowards Die Many Times

“Do I shoot him Wil, or do I aim for the skies?” It was a heavy question. So heavy he couldn’t bring himself to raise his head. As they stood together and allowed the light reflecting off the water shine on them in a subtle way, Tommy considered his options. The answer should have been obvious. After all, this was war and this duel was their ticket to end it all and free themselves from their previous leader. The one Wil and he had labeled as a tyrant.

Dream.

“Tommy I -” A pause. Tommy looked up at his general. The only man he would ever take orders from. Wilbur Soot. He could see in his eyes that he had messed up. This was a burden Tommy couldn’t handle anymore. The deafening silence lasted for all of two seconds but it felt like eternity. He would never know for sure what Wilbur thought of his outburst and challenge towards their worst enemy, but the answer he received relaxed him. If only for a bit.

“I want you to do whatever your heart tells you.”

Tommy took a deep breath and relaxed it before turning around and going towards the man who hid behind a mask.

“Coward.” He whispered to himself. When he thought the word, he believed it was for Dream but now that he felt it leave his mouth and heard the shake of his voice, he wasn’t sure if it was for himself or not.

He walked to the center of the wooden path and held his bow tight. The tyrant, with his bright green hoodie that seemed to act as a target and challenge, laughed with his friends. With George and Sapnap. As if he felt this was all a game and after he won it would all be over with him holding more than bragging rights. The worst of the scene was that even Eret - the traitor - joined in their fun.

With such thoughts running through his mind, it’s no wonder the decision Tommy came to.

They needed their independence.

And Tommy had the perfect opportunity.

He knew what death felt like. He had nearly grown used to it. Maybe that’s why he was always so quick to start fights, skirmishes and even join wars. That was probably why he felt no regret with this decision to challenge the immediate area’s strongest member.

But if he was so used to death, then why did he shake so much?

Dream finally left his friends behind to watch as he walked towards Tommy. The younger of the two swallowed his nerves and did his best to glare. The smiling mask stared him down. Was Dream glaring under there? Was he shaking within the loosely fit hoodie? Was he…

“Are you taking this seriously at all, Dream?”

“Oh, I don’t know. This seems pretty easy.”

Oh yeah, Tommy was killing him for sure. To hell with any sort of ‘honor’ that supposedly came with throwing away ones shot in a duel, Dream was officially a dead man.

“Remember, Tommy,” Dream stated with his usual calmness, “when I win, you give me the disk, Mellohi, and you all give up this silly tantrum for good.”

Tommy glared even harder as now he was angrier than ever. Dream was always after his music disks, his most prized possessions in this God forsaken land. Betting one of them was worth it if it meant seizing total and complete independence forever for this wonderful vision Wilbur had shared with him.

He thought briefly about the disks. About why they were so treasured by Dream and himself.

For Dream they were merely bargaining tools. Something he could use to keep Tommy under control and stop him from starting anymore fights with anymore members under Dreams thumb. The deal would be that if Tommy got involved in any sort of ‘griefing’ of any kind, Dream would burn the disks. Though, to be completely fair and honest, all of that had started with Sapnap burning an unrelated member's home and then dragging both of the now dueling men into the fight.

But for Tommy? These disks were everything. There was something nostalgic about the sound of music, as though there was something he had long forgotten from a time far behind him. It was incredibly rare where they lived to find such things and Tommy, Tommy had two of them. Each a different mixture of sounds that brought their own unique textures to his mind.

He was not about to throw away his shot.

A whisper entered his mind and he did his best to not give away who it was from. For someone to use this ability, one that made themselves freeze in place and become vulnerable, especially at a time like this, it was important. So he simply continued to glare at Dream.

‘There’s no turning back now, Tommy. Good luck out there. My right hand man.’

Tommy took a deep breath before yelling out as loud as he could. “LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOO!”

At the sound of yelling, Dream, Sapnap, George, Eret and even Tubbo - the only other member as young as the loud blonde child and one of their allies - all laughed. But the rest of his side? His makeshift army? They starred with an apathetic energy Tommy wasn’t sure what to feel about. All looked as though they had given up on this hopeless revolution. The humanoid fox and supposed child of the general, (it was unclear how serious he was of such a claim as it was never confirmed) Fundy, even went so far as to let out a sigh and shake his head.

He never was one to find such outbursts funny. It was as though he felt that Tommy treated this all as a simple game with no consequences. Yeah, he hadn’t experienced death nearly as many times as Tommy had, so maybe he did think more of it. 

Wilbur, however, was hardly monotone in his expression and voice. As he spoke his next line, he looked directly at Tommy for only a brief second with worry and, more importantly, sadness. Wilbur had also already given up but as Tommy thought over that look, he realized that Wilbur, the one who was always looking after him as though he were an older brother charged with watching over the youngest child, was apologizing for dragging him into this. For supposedly making Tommy experience the worst possible torture this crazy world had to offer over and over.

Death.

“Are both parties ready?” Wilbur had questioned. After that one look, he refused to even so much as glance at Tommy. The younger one understood. Wil could never help getting emotional in times like these, after all.

Tommy turned to look at his opponent and the damn man was putting on a show of yawning, hardly looking prepared. He really was that confident.

Tommy pointed an accusatory finger at the one who seemed to like to smile a bit too much and yelled out “Are you ready to experience death, Dream?! Cause I’m ready to cause it for you!”

Dream shrugged and stood straight, bow in hand at his side. “Let’s hurry and get this started.”

Wilbur, still not looking at Tommy and, more surprisingly, not saying anything about his outburst of a response, stated the rules of the duel.

Turn their backs to each other, count ten paces - no more, no less - and then fire on your opponent at will. The first to die wins the duel and the agreement.

Either Tommy loses one-half of his most prized possessions, or he gains independence for their nation.

The count began. Tommy thought about what it would be like to kill Dream like this. No tricks, no silly traps and no real plans from either of them. Just a single arrow making contact and he would be dead. It was almost unreal. He would be a hero and would be considered a total badass. Maybe everyone, both enemy and friend, would finally respect him.

The count hit four. His thoughts turned away from such happy fantasies. What if Dream wanted revenge? He never took losing very well. Rather, he took it harshly, and the Lord only knew what George would do to them in unofficial retaliation. Dream would probably lightly suggest George return the favor to Tommy in a whisper and then claim to wash his hands of the incident. Just for the satisfaction of showing power while keeping whatever peace they decide upon after all this.

The count hit seven. Tommy centered himself. Maybe it was a bad idea to allow himself to daydream at this time. He probably should’ve been scanning and studying the terrain thoroughly and thinking of how to use it to his advantage and of how the other could use it against him. Think of a plan or at least a vague idea of the literal millions if not infinite possibilities.

Like hell.

Tommy always thought of plans only when he was backed into a corner and even then he was well into a battle.

Dream was the one to come up with every possible outcome and choose one of nine where he won. Tommy refused to be like Dream.

The count hit ten.

Tommy turned quickly and fired. His arrow went off and almost hit Sapnap, someone who was once an ally, if only temporarily, in his and Dream’s initial war. Way further off his target than the young man was willing to accept.

There was no time to think and sit in denial of being such a terrible shot. No time to listen to Dreams lackies yell at him to be a better aim or watch Tubbo cover his eyes while Fundy simply shrugged as though expecting it. Dream’s first arrow went by his ear so fast he almost felt as though it could deafen him and the older of the two was already aiming his second shot while Tommy was stuck in disbelief.

Tommy quickly moved and jumped to avoid the arrow that he knew would hit him if he didn’t but instead of landing on the wooden path, he crashed into the water. The very lake - or was it a pond? - that served to decorate the land and create a nice scenic area to sit and enjoy time with friends around. Tommy had forgotten all about it just as everyone had probably predicted.

Just as Dream had predicted.

As no arrows came, Tommy figured that Dream was waiting for him to surface so he took the time to ponder on his decisions.

After all, there was no doubt they were coming to bite him in the ass. There was no chance of him getting out of the water and not getting shot to death by a single arrow from his worst enemy.

This was it.

He was going to die again.

How much would it hurt this time? How long would he be stuck in an area of nothingness as whatever God that created them formed a new body? Would he be able to see his friends, to see Wilbur, as they are forced to give away any hope of a special place they could call their own?

Would it be slow and torturous as his body reels from the pain or would it be instant and clean? He had no way of knowing any of these things. He had no way of knowing what this death would feel like as, in his experience, there was no rhyme or reason to any of it.

What would one day only sting for a bit as he was instantly brought back to life, would cause him to spasm and feel his heart stop and his lungs give up their air for what felt like hours. In that one case that comes to mind, to add insult to injury, he would be trapped in that plain area that was completely absent of light and life with no way to contact anyone he loved (or hated).

They all knew this.

They all agreed that the fear of what would happen as you see the attacks coming and you feel yourself growing weaker could only sometimes be worse than the experience itself.

Tommy felt torn by everything in a single moment. If they all knew this, then why did they fight in this war to begin with? Was it worth these moments of pure fear and terrible agony?

Whenever he would die he would return as though nothing ever happened despite his true thoughts and experience. He was not one to talk about things like ‘feelings’ or ‘emotions’. That was something for women and only women. No matter how much Wilbur would try to encourage him to be more open like Tubbo, Tommy was a man. And he was always fighting to prove it.

Yes.

He may be positive he’ll lose. He may be certain there is no chance of winning this duel, but Tommy made a decision in that moment as he swam to the other side of the path.

He was going to die but he’d be damned if he let himself be the cause of Wilbur’s hopes in the form of their very own L’Manberg crashing down forever and for good.

First, he had to make it look good so no one else would suspect what he had hiding in the deepest part of his mind. An actual plan.

He jumped from the lake and pointed his arrow directly at the mask and right between the eyes but before he could fire, he was hit.

Ah. This one was going to hurt.

[scottspack]

Over a week ago @progmetallesbian created the “Top Ten Niche Interests” tag game and tagged me in it and ive been meaning to do it ever since!!! My lovely wife @got2ghost tagged me in it again today so it’s finally happening:

TOP TEN NICHE INTERESTS

As a preface, ive seen a lot of these from other people and you all have wonderful, very niche interests (ex: amy & chi) and it made me feel like a lame normie when i started thinking about my interests bc apparently im not into anything THAT niche, so these are the things that to me are personally niche and to everyone else are probably just normal things

1. TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR FC: there’s a long unimportant story to how my dad and i became spurs fans but the fact of the matter is that we’ve been following spurs soccer for three years now and it’s an interest i literally ONLY get to talk about with my dad because i have about two (2) friends who are interested in soccer and zero (0) of them watch the EPL. it’s hilarious to me that what is probably my personally most niche interest is the one that is shared by the vast majority of the world. such is the life of being a soccer fan in america :(

2. THE PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN TRILOGY: this is an old niche and another one that isnt that niche at all but one i feel compelled to include because when i tell you that i was obsessed with this trilogy in elementary school, obsessed is not nearly a strong enough word. i watched all three movies so often that i broke about 2 sets of dvds per movie. i know every possible piece of trivia about these movies. i had every piece of merch from claire’s and hot topic that it was possible to own. my friend and i read about 500 different books on pirates. we called orlando bloom “orly”. i could go on. potc was probably the only thing ive ever been legitimately “hyper-fixated” on and i will defend all three of those movies until i die!!!! if you’ve ever said “i liked the second two but i just couldnt follow the plot” please let me know and i will be happy to explain it to you in excruciating detail!

3. SOLO THRU-HIKE BLOG POSTS: this one i feel can actually count as niche! i fucking love reading blog posts from professional hikers who do crazy long solo thru-hikes. the lewis and clark trail, the appalachian trail, and the te araroa trail in new zealand are some of my favorite to read posts about, but ill read about any solo thru-hikes because i think its fucking bonkers and interesting and complex and inspiring and i hope to never ever do one in my entire life!

4. R/PARANORMAL: i have no reddit experience, i dont have an account, and i never want to actively engage in the reddit community. BUT. i fucking love ghosts and the paranormal so r/paranormal is a treasure trove for fun ghost stories and i read it pretty regularly! a lot of them are silly as youd expect but every now and then there are some really good ones that scare the shit out of me

5. HISTORICAL DRESS YOUTUBERS: it started with bernadette banner and once i had watched pretty much every single video she ever made, i started watching her friend’s channels, and then their friend’s channels. i have no interest in ever dressing historically, i dont really care about fashion, and i will never make my own clothes, but goddamn it if it isnt extremely fun and interesting to watch how passionate these ladies are about their specific niche time period of historical clothing! the talent! the history! its amazing! 

6. INSTAGRAM PINUP MODELS: i honestly cant remember how i stumbled into this world but there is an entire community of classic “pinup” models on instagram who have the most beautiful and creative looks ive ever seen and i now follow like 15 of them and am obsessed with watching them do their hair and makeup 

7. THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO (2002): this is the greatest film adaption of a book, the greatest period piece, and the greatest piece of cinema ever created by human kind. im not interested in debating, i just know that im right.

8. ENDLESS OCEAN: endless ocean was a game i owned on the wii as a preteen that i played for like a year and has been living in my head rent free ever since. you play as a scuba diver in the great barrier reef and all you do is go diving and catalog fish for your conservation team. thats it. that’s the entire game. and playing it was the happiest ive ever been in my life!

9. BANDS FC: there’s a guy on twitter who combines bands and soccer clubs to create new logos. ive been following him forever and its one of my favorite things on the internet!!! he puts a ton of time and research into his designs and they’re all so good. fun fact, he’s also a gay ally and once went to battle against british footie homophobes! a true king!

10. CHRISTIAN MYTHOLOGY: idk if it counts as niche if i blog about it on the regular but i have a deep deep love for the aesthetics, stories, and legacies of christianity. i grew up non-denominational christian but have always been (prepare for cringe) a spiritual person, so i have a huge appreciation for all religions! but obviously christianity is fairly ubiquitous in america and the only religion i have any claim to, so it’s a big interest of mine to explore christian mythology and the ways it’s shaped human history

im going to tag @wolfbuddy @eremji @curlytemple and @significationary if yall are interested!

[dlamp-dictator]

Allen Rambles About Fighting Games

I... honestly don’t know where to begin with this Rambling. I’ve been trying to think of a decent intro for over a week now and I just can’t be bothered to write a hook.

I guess I should start with myself.

Hello folks, I am Allen X. I do opinion pieces on the internet that I call Ramblings, write silly fanfictions about cute girls punching things, attempt to write original fictions about cute girls punching things, and very occasionally write fan lyrics to video game OSTs. And today’s Rambling is about fighting games and my current thoughts on them as of late. 

I’m a huge fan of fighting games, been playing them since Tekken 3 and Soul Calibur 3, the latter being one of my favorite 3D fighting games period. After that I got into Blazblue around the time Continuum Shift came out, and I’ve played every game in that series since, becoming a massive fan of Air-Dashing fighting games. 

I’m not a huge fan of ranked listings, but here’s a quick list of my 5 favorite fighting games just so you all understand where I’m coming from. So in no particular order:

Virtua Fighter 5 Final Showdown

Blazblue Chronophantasma

Soul Calibur 3

Dead or Alive 5

Under Night In-Birth Exe Latest

So with that list I hope you understand I’ve played a lot of fighting games in my time. That list is just a fraction of the games I’ve played over these last ten years.

And folks, I don’t know how to feel about modern fighting games at the moment. 

I think the current games out are fine, but as a fan of fighting games since the early 2000s they just don’t scratch a certain itch. I couldn’t tell you what it was, but nowadays fighting games just feel very bare-bones. Most of them only have an online mode, a training, maybe a combo/mission mode to help learn combos, and then maybe an arcade/story, with that story mode being bare in some way, shape, or form. It’s just feels empty nowadays.

But... I think I should give an example before going further. And I think the best game that shows my... conflicting feelings is Blazblue Cross Tag Battle. 

And where to begin with Cross Tag? This was a game that literally came out of my dreams and into reality. An actual pipe dream that I and many other fans of Arc System Works games jokingly wished for. Under Knight In-Birth, Persona 4 Arena, Blazblue, all in one game. It sounded like the wildest of wild dreams.

And then this trailer dropped. And I lost my shit. I think everyone lost their shit. 

I screamed.

I jumped out of my chair.

I nearly broke my damn tablet in shock seeing this trailer. 

And Ruby Rose was being added? Something that Mori and Ishiwatari had only teased about in passing? 

I... I needed some air after watching that trailer.

I needed a drink and some food. 

I’m pretty sure I lost three pounds from that trailer, and I’m barely 115 pounds, I need to keep all the weight I can put on. I was so excited to play that game after that. A crossover of three of the best 2D fighters in the 2010s and one of the most popular niche IPs of the 2010s, all together in one game, with unique character interactions. And an English Dub. Finally, a chance to hear Patrick Seitz, Cristina Vee, David Vincent, and more back where they should had been in Central Fiction. It was just... a magical time to be a fighting game fan.

And then I actually played the game... and boy did I have opinions on it.

I did a Rambling about this game last year after playing a bit of the beta. My overall thoughts, aside from my gloating, were that I felt it was lacking in complexity, but had potential to maintain my attention if they could meet a few of my expectations. And not much of my opinion has changed since then. If anything, I honestly wish I got off my butt and wrote more about this game while it was still fresh in my mind. 

But, back to my original point, this game is a good starting point in a lot of my conflicting feelings about fighting games nowadays, and I think I should start by discussing...

My Expectations

Last year I had three main expectations for Cross Tag. Those being a story mode that was more entertaining than insightful, free DLC of some kind, and a fulfilling single player experience. These are the three main things I want in most fighting games, as I’m not into the competitive seen outside from online get-togethers nor do I have a positive opinion of the competitive side of the FGC to begin with. So, how did Cross Tag stack up?

Well, I can happily say that at least two out of three isn’t bad. 

But I should probably break this down a little, as again, these three points are what I look for in most fighting games.

The Story Mode

Much like I hoped, the story modes were relatively simple and didn’t get too deep into everyone’s lore and backstory, which is honestly for the best. I’m a fan of Blazblue’s story, I really am, but I wouldn’t wish for that encyclopedia of lore known as the Blazblue world-building and the mini encyclopedia of lore that is Under Night and RWBY world-building mashed together. A fan of all these series I am, but that would had been much.

That said, the story modes were great. I was cackling at almost every interaction. Ragna squaring up to Kanji and Wald, Ruby being an absolute weeaboo when she confuses Yosuke and Yukiko for a ninja and geisha respectively, Ragna being surrounded by all the robo-girls save for Labrys, Hyde just... dealing with everything in his story mode, Weiss and Orie teaming up to take down Ragna in the name of justice. The list goes on, but the point remains. I loved a lot of this mode, my only real wish being that it was a little longer and didn’t focus solely on the main character of each series. I was also hoping for something a little more... grounded. Well, not something so ridiculous as some weird AI/Goddess controlling everything behind the scenes and forcing everyone to fight anyway. I know with the Cross Tag 2.0 update coming there’ll be a new story mode, and I hope it’s a little more inclusive than this one. I’m also hoping for a bit more replayability too. This story mode was fine, but I’d like to see something I could come back to and want to come back to. 

To give an example, I think Continuum Shift Extend had the best story mode of any fighting on pure replay value. There are at least 20 didn’t character perspectives in that mode with alternate endings and gag endings included. Each character has a decent arc and narrative, they occasionally run into other named characters and have their timelines mix, and there’s even a retelling of the previous game with some added bits thrown in. I know I said Chronophantasma was my favorite of the Blazblue series, but Continuum Shift had the most love put into it. I’m not expecting something of that extent in Cross Tag 2.0, but something at least trying to reach that would be great.

Ah, but moving on.

Free DLC

This one’s a real technicality and I’m tempted to not count it, but for the degenerates like me that bought the original season pass, we also got to enjoy Seth, Heart, Teddie, and Naoto K. for free. That’s... not exactly what I was hoping for in my old post, but we did get something out of it. In the future I hope that Cross Tag will follow something a little closer to how Samurai Shodown handled their season passes, letting early adopters download it for free on the first day or week before charging as a reward for those giving it a chance... or at least running the the store page quick enough. 

In all seriousness, I do hope for something to the effect of the reason of Season 2′s characters being either cheap or free for the first few days before charging whatever retail price they set it to. It’d just give some incentive to stay up to date on the game and encourage people to actively play it.

But sadly, two out of three meant I didn’t get the main thing I wanted, which was...

A Good Single Player Experience 

I had mentioned I wanted something akin to Chronophantasma’s Abyss Mode or Persona 4 Arena Ultimax’s Golden Arena Mode. Something with a leveling system or that had some replay value to it for the single player folks. Sadly, I didn’t get that. Like many current fighting games, Cross Tag is rather bare-bones with the content. There’s not even a basic arcade mode, a staple in every ASW fighting game. I’m... disappointed by that. And this isn’t the only game either. I believe it took Street Fighter V an entire season to get an arcade mode. Tekken 7, a series known for its wild mini games, barely had anything beyond a story mode, a very bare bones arcade mode, and a treasure mode that... just didn’t feel fun to play. This is from a series where the last numbered series had an expansive 3D-esque brawler mode for it’s story mode with special items and costumes that gave some really wild effects. Soul Calibur 3 had a mini Fire Emblem-esque strategy game with Swords and Soul Mode where you got to create a character with a pretty original moveset all things considered, several movesets in fact. But sadly... a lot of that is starting to go away.

I just feel like with the push toward competitive play a lot of fighting games aren’t bothering to keep in mind casual players, and that saddens me. I don’t play too many fighting games for the sake of getting better, but that’s where we’re going. I want to say that’s bad for business, but Street Fighter is pushing out season 4 and EVO is still one of the biggest and most marketable events in the FGC. Maybe I’m just being an old man yelling at those darned kids and their bare-bones gaming content. I’m willing to accept my 25-years-old mindset is a bit old fashioned in the year of 2019 where time and technology is blitzing by and those in our mid-to-late twenties who have been playing games since the 90s are seen as the old men in the gaming community, but I just had to get my thoughts out. ...

...

...

God, I miss the line breaks Tumblr use to have, makes these closing statements a lot easier.

Anyway folks, with all that said I think I’m going to call it here. For those expecting the Weekly Update it’s been a real slow week, so not much to report. Consider this Rambling my update. I’ve finally gotten through the first chapter of Arifureta and honestly that’s all I need to read to get an idea on the Rambling I want to do for that series. I bought 6 volumes of Tokyo Ghoul:re against my better judgement, so expect me to talk about that next week. And slowly but sure I’m getting some notes together for the Taboo Tattoo Rambling. So look forward to all that and I’ll see you all later.

[ezilyamuzed]

Baby

Summary: Who better to give a the Tale of the Winchester’s than the one who has been there through it all?

Warnings: SPN spoilers. Language. A little angsty/fluffy I guess- I don’t know how really to define it.

A/N: This is for @ain-t-bovvered 800 Follower “Tales of a Winchester” challenge. She said that it could be from anyone, and I chose the one that many of us have fallen in love with throughout the years. This is her side of the story. No pairing and includes the last 13 years. 

Any grammatical mistakes are all my own, because I am human & don’t do the beta thing. Remember all comments and feedback are welcomed! If you want a tag in future posts regarding this series or other writings please send an ask! As always thank you for reading! Enjoy!   

*gifs/photos are not mine-obtained from google*

Most of you have already heard the tale of Sam and Dean. The two wayward sons of John Winchester, carrying on with their family’s legacy: Saving people, hunting things. The family business, as Dean likes to call it. Well, I am here to tell you my side of the journey on the road so far. Let me start by introducing myself to you now, I’m Baby.

Now I know this may seem strange to some, an old and worn down car illustrating to you what it is really like alongside the brothers, but as a wise man once said, “Family don’t end in blood”. From their beginnings I have watched them grow, only to become the men they had been destined to be. Through all the trials and tribulations they prevailed, as I watched in the distance awaiting for them to come back to me. To come home. There are endless stories that i could tell, but first, let’s go back a little further to my beginning.

April 24th, 1967 was the day that I rolled through a small town assembly line, unknowing and ready for the adventures to come that would define my purpose within the world. Sal Moriarti was the first family I had known. Although he wasn’t perfect, he trusted me to carry on his purpose he had found in life. Providing bibles to the poor to “get folks right for judgement day” as he would say. He was a good man.

After Sal had died, I found myself once again alone, awaiting my next adventure. Rainbow Motors, a small used car lot in Lawrence, Kansas in 1973 was when I met John. A young, love stricken Marine hoping to find the perfect vehicle for his intended bride. After a little encouragement, from a face I would not see again for many years, he picked me to be apart of his family.

Mary had been a little reluctant with me at first, but it didn’t take long for her to welcome me with the same love that John had shown me. The two of them would sit together, closely on my leather clad seats, holding each other’s hands for hours as I took them wherever they wanted to go. Allowing the wind to blow through their hair, as they exchanged loving smiles. Those are the days I still hold dearly within my memory. They did this for many years, while sometimes even slipping towards the smooth leather of my backseat, holding onto one another through the night. That is where their love for each other would truly come alive, and where Dean’s story really began.

Dean. The freckled faced little boy that was full of mischief, adventure, while also exhibiting a sense of wonder and amazement to the world around him as he stared through my windows. I watched him grow, from a wide-eyed infant, as I carefully welcomed him home from the hospital, to the man you know today. Loudly singing along, off key to the radio with his parents, he would always smile. I wish I could have never let that smile fade, but that was out of my control.

Sam had been born just a few years later. The curious little Winchester, who often would be seen in later years with his face buried in another book while his father and Dean prepared for their next adventure. Although Mary was gone, I could see a lot of her in him. His bright smile and tender care for others let me know that she was still here.

I remember John sitting on my hood that fateful night, clenching his two sons close to his heart while watching the life he knew disappear within the flames. John did what he could for them, but he had been broken after she was taken. That was when I was given my new purpose, as their stories continued. I was no longer just a car to them. I was home. I would shelter and protect them as the tread on my tires wore thin with every mile traveled.

Now being the home of two rambunctious boys, they were bound to add their own marks on me. The little green army man that Sam had decided to place in my ashtray, is still there to this day, reminding my of my little soldier. Dean, being the silly boy that he was, added his own touch of legos within my vents, that still do this day will rattle as the heat from my engine warms them on the cold nights. Then there is my favorite part, the initials carved within my body by the two boys I had already loved so much. They placed their mark on me forever, and forever it will remain.

There have been years of heartache, often moving from one sad ending to another, but there has been laughter as well. Like during the times when Sam and Dean allowed themselves to act like the silly children I had known, pulling pranks on each other often with some assistance from me. No matter what was happening in the world around them, I was there. Parked under the night sky for them to lay across my hood to just stare up at the stars, or to provide shelter when they had grown tired and weary.

Every twist and turn of the winding road brought us all closer together. They all instilled their most precious treasures with me, and a few other items that no other family car would have. But none of that is important right now. What is important is the journeys that have led us to here.

Some of the nights on the road so far would be peaceful, with the only sound heard was the purring of my engine moving swiftly throughout the night. There were others when I pushed myself with the help of one of the boys to get them out of danger, sometimes feeling the blood soak through my interior, only fueling me more to get them towards safety. Those nights were the scariest, but they always kept fighting. Never faltering in their quest to save the people they had met along the way. All while killing some evil son of a bitches and raising a little hell, I was there.

There had been times when I thought my story was going to end, as I struggled to protect them inside my four walls. Every time it would be Dean that would bring my back from the brink of death, leaving all my perfect imperfections in place because, as he said once, it was what made me beautiful. He was the one who was the first to affectionately name me Baby after John had handed him my keys, because the journey and the memories of Mary sitting next to him on the bench seat were just too hard to keep remembering. Since then it has been Dean, with a little help from Sam that has made sure that I was always taken care of. Always ready for the next fight.

It can become tiring, moving constantly from one side of country to another, often only stopping out of necessity before reaching our destination. When Dean had chosen to try the civilian life after Sam had fallen into the pit, trapping Lucifer with him, I knew it was for the best. I have to admit that for a little bit the sound of BBQ’s and him teaching little Ben how change a spark plug would make me smile, knowing that he was finally allowing his weary head to rest. But I missed my family. I missed the adventure.

I have to say that there was some jealousy that came from me when I saw Sam pull up in that newer model sports car when he returned. I may have enjoyed it a bit when Dean and I put on a little show, proving who was the fastest and sweetest car around. I knew that Sam would turn around again, once he remembered where his home was.

The months where I stood, parked away and hidden by that old worn tarp while the boys fled from those after them was the hardest. Not knowing if they were ever to return, brought ache throughout me as I felt the dust growing heavier upon me. When I saw Sam’s solemn face, I knew that Dean had been in trouble, but I never gave up hope that he would return back home.

Family is something you never give up on. While the Winchester’s have been mine, now for the last 45 years, there have been others that I include on that list. Old drunks, youthful rebellions, strong-willed women, mothering caretakers, prophets of the lord, as well as a few angels and demons have all been included. They are the epiphany of what family looks like, through all the laughter, anger and tears. I enjoyed knowing them all, and saddened as I drove most of them to their final resting places, laying down their weary heads to rest for the last time.

What is my life like now? Well we have all found our home along the road we have traveled. I sit resting and waiting for when the boys need me to go on another epic adventure together. I will never complain that the hours are rough as well as the road when we hit a few bumps because I am with them.

I am with my family. I am forever a Winchester. I am Baby.

Forever's:  @waywardbaby @snffbeebee @curly-haired-disaster @waywardnerd67 @dean-winchesters-bacon @jaylarkson @ladywinchester1967 @wildefire @hobby27

[fromtheringapron]

Reviewing Google Audience Reviews of WWE Raw

One day, I searched Monday Night Raw on Google for reasons even unbeknownst to me. What is it out of boredom? A sliver of hope that I’d discover Raw had been canceled and replaced with a rebooted Prime Time Wrestling? I don’t know, but I did stumble upon some treasure in my aimless journey: Google Audience Reviews of Raw! This is apparently a new feature to Google. It allows people like you and I to give our baseless, uninformed opinions on any TV show at any time. Isn’t the Internet great?

But, man, if that wasn’t good enough, the real treasure are the reviews themselves. Such an intriguing look into the jaded, ignorant, infuriating, hilarious, and naive group of folks who make up WWE’s fanbase. The thing about the Internet, for better or worse, is that it gives a platform for all sorts of people to voice their opinion, even on a silly wrestling show. However, I’d like to think that also means it gives me the platform to give my opinion on their opinion. There are countless Raw reviews in this new section of Google, but here are a few that have really caught my eye:

Review #27: The AEW Truther

Okay, I’ll start out by sussing out some bullshit: All Elite Wrestling has a lot of promise, but we need to stop with the narrative that they’re going to be breathing down the WWE’s neck right out of the gate. They haven’t even put on their first show and don’t have a TV deal. In addition, outside of the diehard Internet fans and wrestling journalists, the casual fan who tunes into Raw isn’t going to give a fuck about AEW, mainly because they haven’t heard of it. So, no, “us Pro Wrestling fans” aren’t just going to turn to that. Again, it’s got potential and the excitement over it is valid, but I can’t help but feel the ones hyping it up the most will be the first to voice their disappointment when it doesn’t match even a fraction of what they expected.

With all of that said, I absolutely agree with this fan on the egregiousness of WWE putting an actual fascist dickhead and a convicted rapist into their Hall of Fame, especially when there’s inexplicably more rage geared toward the likes of Koko B. Ware and Torrie Wilson getting inducted, two people who were company employees for several years. I’m usually never the one to be up in arms over who gets inducted in the Hall of Fame because it’s a fake hall for a fake sport at the end of the day, but I do earnestly believe the focus should be on the workers who clocked in the hours.

Review #352: The Benoit Truther

Look, even though many will disagree, it’s okay for you to think Daniel Bryan sucks. Everyone has their own unique set of faves and least faves, and yours is no less valid than anyone else’s. Consensus in the fan community is boring, anyway.

Well, within reason anyway, because I’d like to think that the probability of Chris Benoit rotting in Hell right now is something we can all agree on. And, honestly, still listing Benoit as the greatest of all time feels wrong on a deep, moral level. The dude did some great things in his career, yes, but that’s besides the point. That doesn’t cancel out that he murdered his wife and son. Is defending the name of someone who will always be associated with a slaughtered family a hill you really want to fight on?

I don’t want to make it seem a comment like this is totally uncommon. It’s not much different from the various Youtube comments that linger on to this day about how Benoit should be inducted into the Hall of Fame. It still infuriates me though, largely because it feeds into the cesspool of Benoit apologia that’s only swelled since that fateful weekend in 2007. It’s the kind of language that words Benoit as ultimately a tragic figure whose poor brain was so damaged that his crimes were practically unavoidable, an explanation that wouldn’t be afforded to him if he weren’t so widely regarded by smarky wrestling bros. And that’s a bunch of shit.

The first half of the review isn’t so bad, which is why I didn’t include it. Maybe this fan just isn’t aware of what they’re saying, and I get that, but intentions can only go so far with me. The scariest part though? 78 people found the review helpful. The most of any review I’ve seen so far.  Fuckin’ balls.

Review #658: The Anti-Bullying Crusader

Okay, so I kinda love this. It’s such a nice reminder in a time where kayfabe is long dead and the WWE roster, regardless of heel/face alignment, will post pics with each other out in the town on social media that there are still fans who eat all of this shit up. I obviously know nothing about this person, but the review conjures up the image of an ornery senior citizen sitting ringside ready to whack those dastardly heels with a cane.

The bullying argument is hilarious. We all know WWE’s anti-bullying campaign Be A Star is hypocritical, disingenuous bullshit, largely birthed out of Linda McMahon’s failed run in politics. Like, how many of their storylines involve and normalize bullying? How many times have guys like The Rock and John Cena engaged in homophobic and misogynistic taunting on-screen over the years? There’s nothing wrong with informing your younger viewers on why bullying in real life is wrong, but you can’t deny the WWE has certainly trivialized the message. 

And it’s even more ridiculous when someone stops watching because of all the fake, scripted bullying on the show. Honestly, my friend, what are you expecting out of a wrestling product then? Bobby Roode vs. Heath Slater in a Handshake Contest? Also, this fan has been watching since they were five years old, no doubt remembering a more innocent time where Steve Austin would give the Stunner to someone who completely didn’t deserve that. 

I also love the last line. After bashing Raw for its bully-enabling platform, they at least concede that the ladies are killing it right now. Such an encouraging feminist stance!

Review #229: Everyone Had Fun and Nobody Got Hurt

Um, what? I do get what this fan is saying in the sense that, yes, wrestling is just play fighting, but “their policy of no violence”? Do I need to bring up that Roode/Slater handshake battle for the ages? And the wrestlers may sell fake injuries on TV all the time, but they can sustain injuries that are real as hell and carry some severe long-term repercussions. I feel like I’m being way too harsh, but come on now. If you’ve been watching since 1999, you’ve probably seen plenty of guys take unnecessary, dangerous bumps that shorten their careers. Watching even a small bit of Mick Foley’s work can probably tell you that.

With that said, I do love the refreshing stance in loving wrestling because it’s scripted. People usually hate on wrestling for that reason alone, largely because the business has historically gone to great lengths to make it seem real. It’s great to have someone who basically says, “You know, this is scripted bullshit and I’m okay with it.” And honestly, girl, I feel the same way. We need more people like us.

Review #44: Garden Variety Lapsed Fan #15,712

This certainly is a take. I can’t comment on what it’s like in other fandoms, but so many wrestling fans love to engage in the narrative that WWE stopped being good a long while ago and the current product is the worst it’s ever been but because they’re such a diehard fans they’ll stick around until it gets good again and willingly suffer through all of it due to the innate goodness in their hearts or some shit. The only difference in each of these arguments is that the date of the tipping point always changes. There are fans right now who’ll tell you WWE circa 2019 is the worst it’s ever been, but this was also true back when I first started traversing the Internet back in 2004 or 2005 and fans then were talking how that period was the worst it had ever been.

With that in mind, I find this review a bit refreshing in the face of Attitude Era truthers, who’ll repeatedly tell you wrestling, and seemingly all of pop culture, stopped being good sometime in the early 2000s. But as we near closer and closer to 20 years since that era ended, the more likely we are to see younger fans who have no real nostalgia for it. It won’t be long until we hear more and more talk about the salad days of Roman Reigns, Braun Strowman, and others. This fan says WWE stopped being good in late 2016/early 2017, which obviously wasn’t that long ago. I’m sure some fan daydreaming about the days of the Monday Night Wars would find this completely baffling.

It begs the question: when exactly was the WWE good? Has it ever been good? I don’t think any one answer is the sole correct one. None of these perspectives are invalid by any means. Every era of wrestling has had its pros and cons, and everyone has their own set of standards on what they consider a quality wrestling product. And, to be real, I don’t want to excuse the WWE of their shitty, at times irredeemable, booking and creative decisions. Fans have been driven away for numerous, valid reasons over the years.

But there’s that whole notion that nothing can ever bring back those early feelings of puppy love, and that’s just as true with the way wrestling first captivates you. Perhaps the constant frustration with present day WWE is partly the inability to rekindle what first hooked you in and never being able to recapture that feeling because, well, it’s simply not possible.

Review #788: Our Savior

We are not worthy of this review. A true diamond in the rough. So many good bits here. The prediction that Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose will compete in a “no holes barred” match, which sounds like something out of a Sean Cody wrestling parody. The invention of the “Tang Tang Championship” featuring the likes of “Pop Scott Dulson and his tag team partner." The referring of Baron Corbin as not only “Barry Korgan,” but also as “Brian Corbin.” The passage that merely says “All winding.” The passage that merely says “Bobby Lashley.” That it’s not even a review of Raw, the TV show, but more a comment on the existential nihilism we feel in the Trump era.

I’ve never seen a review that makes no sense but also says so much. I love the complete refusal of punctuation marks. Who needs those archaic things, anyway? It just makes it all one, continuous thought, a stream of consciousness that could make even James Joyce blush. I also dig the experimentation with spacing. After all, why do we need to just one space? Why not several? It’s important to give our thoughts the space they need and this fan understands that. Plus, it makes for poetic reading.

The review ends on an ominous note, with the fan’s last message being “My name Matthewhisee.” Is this meant to be a threat? A coded message of some sort? Matthewhisee, if that is your name, please let us know more. The world needs your insight. Oh, and to the 7 people who found this review helpful, you are the vanguards of the resistance. Bless you all.