#(<- they are projecting sososo hard) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bangtanbeom · 2 months ago

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’*•.¸undeniably yours¸.•*’ 3

୨♡୧ part one / part two / part three / bonus ୨♡୧

pairing: beomgyu x fem!reader genre: fluff (this part leans more to angst) , strangers to friends to ? , college AU, slow burn (trying to), summary: you and beomgyu are partnered for a group project, the connection starts off as simple friendship. but as you share quiet moments, unspoken glances, and moments of vulnerability, the lines between friendship and something more begin to blur. w/c: ~4.2k warnings: not entirely proofread, couple of curse words, bit angsty a/n: i still can't thank everyone enough! your comments, reblogs and likes make me sososo happy. i check and reread every comment at least 10 times a day <3 i was so deep in my own imagination while writing this, that i made it more angsty than i wanted to, i'm sorry. i really wanted to make an all fluff story for once, but i guess i like pain, agony and drama, i did enjoy writing it but sorrysorry oops LOVE LANGUAGE IS FINALLY OUT AAAA i pulled an allnighter for this while writing and waiting, im going to bed now bye <3 taglist: for the cuties who wanted to be tagged <3 @thearcherbeomgyu | @georgeweasleys-gf | @urfavmaknae | @eumpappasmom | @jisungooner |

the sunlight poured through the cafe's large windows, painting stripes of gold over wooden tables. outside the cherry blossoms filled the street, their petals swirling like confetti against the blue sky. a girl sat across from him, her fingers curled around the edges of his notebook like she owned it. her smile as bright as the sun combined with her effortless beauty.

and beomgyu—

he was smiling—not his usual lopsided grin, but something softer, intentional, his fingers tapping the table to a rhythm only they seemed to know.

your stomach twisted.

soobin nudged you. "they've been working on that song for weeks. it's good."

"cool," you said, too quickly. the words tasted sour.

you turned to the counter, where the barista—who knew your order by heart—was already sliding a steaming mug your way.

"banana latte, extra cinnamon," she said with a wink. "he paid ahead. said you'd need it after your exam."

the mug burned your palms. he'd remembered. of course he had. beomgyu always remembered—the way you took your drink, your fear of the dark, the fact that you hated studying for exams alone.

you took a sip. it was perfect.

and it made you furious.

because right then, he was leaning toward the girl, his brow furrowed in that way it only did when he was truly listening, and—

she reached out.

just a brush of her fingers against his wrist, a fleeting thing. but beomgyu didn't pull away.

your throat tightened. the sweet latte tasted bitter on your tongue.

you set the mug down too hard, the sound drowned out by the cafe's chatter.

soobin raised an eyebrow. "you okay?"

"perfect," you lied. "but i have to go."

the door jingled again as you left, the warmth of the latte still lingering on your palms.

your feet carried you blindly through the streets, past laughing couples and slow-walking tourists. the world snapped into clarity—the too-loud scrape of a chair against the pavement, the shriek of a child's laughter, the sound of a text notification that wasn't his.

you pulled out your phone. unlocked it. closed it.

unlocked it again.

you found it. the girl's instagram was right there. you told yourself you wouldn't.

but you did.

her latest post was a blurry shot of sheet music spread across a cafe table—our table—with beomgyu's hands just visible in the corner.

your thumb hovered over the photo. if you clicked it, you'd see his comment. if you didn't, you'd imagine it.

so you imagined it.

the replay in your head was worse than the actual moment.

the way she touched his notebook, the cherry blossoms swirling outside, through the window behind them—looking like a scene from a romantic drama.

the notebook—the same notebook with your stupid doodles in the margins, the one he'd shoved at you last week with a grin,

"write something here. make it deep."

his smile. not the teasing one, not the one he used as armor—the real one. the one you thought—

no. it doesn't mean anything.

so what if he was sitting next to her? so what if she touched his wrists?

it didn't have to mean anything.

you'd seen him like that a hundred times—laughing with soobin, nodding along to some professor's rambling, humming under his breath while he scribbled lyrics.

this wasn't different. was it?

you kicked a pebble. it skittered across the sidewalk and smacked into a trash can with a hollow clink.

your stomach twisted, over and over again.

why did it bother you so much?

you were just friends.

the friend who stole his hoodies and laughed at his stupid jokes. the one who noticed the way his voice softened when he was tired, or the way his fingers tapped restless rhythms against his thigh when he was thinking.

just—

your steps faltered.

oh.

oh no.

this wasn't just annoyance. this wasn't just friendship.

this was—

no. no. no.

you couldn't. you wouldn't.

because if you admitted it, even to yourself, everything would change, and you couldn't lose him. you couldn't.

unbelievable.

you were overreacting.

maybe you were just tired. maybe you were reading into things. maybe the way your chest ached when he smiled at her was just—

indigestion.

this wasn't jealousy. it couldn't be.

except your chest tightened when he smiled at her.

your phone buzzed, a notification lit up your screen.

beomgyu: you left?

the three dots appeared. disappeared. so did your breath.

then—

nothing.

you stared blankly at your textbook, the words swimming before your eyes. your phone buzzed for the third time in twenty minutes, the screen lighting up with another message from beomgyu. you didn't need to look to know what it said—another attempt at his usual banter, another question—another attempt to close the distance that was created by you.

your fingers hovered over the keyboard. last week, you would have responded with a sarcastic joke or ridiculous meme. now, your thumbs moved mechanically.

you: sorry, busy studying. talk later.

you hit send before you could second-guess yourself, immediately feeling the emptiness of the words. the message stared back at you, its distant tone—a stark contrast to the colorful, emoji-filled exchanges that used to fill your chat history.

beomgyu sat in his apartment room floor, guitar resting on his lap. his phone screen lit up as your message appeared, his chest tightening at your short response.

soobin watched from his bed seeing the way his roommate's shoulder slumped slightly.

"still nothing?" soobin asked gently, his eyebrows furrowed slightly in sympathy.

beomgyu shook his head, thumbs brushing over his phone screen.

"she's just... different now." he forced a laugh that didn't reach his eyes. "maybe i finally annoyed her into hating me."

beomgyu tried to rationalize it.

maybe you were stressed about midterms. maybe you were mad at him for something he didn't remember doing. maybe you were just tired.

but then—

you stopped sitting next to him in lectures.

you stopped laughing at his jokes.

you stopped looking at him.

and that—that stung.

one afternoon, he cornered you after class, blocking your exit with his body, his voice uncharacteristically sharp. "did i do something?"

you blinked. "what?"

"you've been avoiding me."

your throat tightened. "i haven't."

"bullshit." he rolled his eyes, his tone light-hearted, but lingered with a slight tone of frustration—desperation, maybe.

you forced a weak laugh.

his fingers twitched at his sides like he wanted to reach for you but didn't know if he was allowed anymore.

beomgyu exhaled, his cheerful facade slightly disappearing, he was running a hand through his hair. "just—tell me what i did."

you didn't do anything. it's me.

you opened your mouth. closed it.

beomgyu's jaw tightened, not able to hide his expression anymore. "if you don't want to be friends anymore, just say it."

your chest ached.

"that's not—" you cut yourself off, shaking your head. "i don't—"

i don't want to just be friends.

the words sat heavy on your tongue, unspoken.

beomgyu waited, hurt, concern, written over his face.

but you couldn't do it.

you gently pushed his body to the side. "i'm just really busy. i have to go."

campus was nearly empty. you didn't expect him to find you.

but of course he did.

because this was beomgyu. and beomgyu always found you.

when he found you sitting on a bench, your back against the sun-warmed brick wall. he approached with caution, holding two iced coffees like a white flag—almost looking like a peace offering.

"thought you could use this," he said, offering you the drink, the condensation dripped onto his fingers as he waited for you to take it.

you accepted the cup automatically, the cold shocked against your palm mirroring the discomfort twisting in your stomach. "thanks," you murmured, setting it beside you on the bench without taking a sip.

beomgyu's smile faltered. he took a long sip from his own cup just to have something to do with his hands.

"so... that midterm was brutal, huh? i swear, the professor takes pleasure in our suffering."

"yeah," you nodded without looking up from your notebook. "brutal."

silence stretched between you, thick and unfamiliar. beomgyu shifted his weight from foot to foot, the usual easy rhythm of your conversation nowhere to be found.

he tried again, forcing lightness into his voice, "you know, if you keep giving one-word answers, i'm going to start charging you per syllable."

the joke landed with a thud. you offered a weak smile. "sorry. just tired."

he studied your face—the way you avoided his gaze. the tense set of your shoulders. this wasn't tired. this was something else entirely. the realization settled heavy in his chest—you were pulling away, and he didn't understand why.

spring showers—the rain pattered against the music building's windows as you hurried down the hallway, desperate to make your next class on time. the sound of familiar laughter made you freeze mid-step.

through the practice room's small window, you saw beomgyu sitting at the piano, the same girl from the cafe perched beside him. her fingers danced over the keys as he leaned in to point at something in the sheet music, his face alight with that particular enthusiasm he only got when talking about music.

their heads bent close together, her dark hair brushing against his shoulder as she laughed at something he said. you watched, rooted to the spot, as beomgyu reached out to adjust her hand positions on the keys, his touch lingering onto hers just a second too long—in your opinion.

the scene burned itself into your retinas. you turned away sharply, your chest aching with something too close to jealousy for comfort. this was ridiculous. you had no claim on him. no right to feel this way.

yet the image followed you all the way to class—his easy smile, their comfortable closeness. the way he looked at her with none of the awkwardness that had crept into his interactions with you recently.

but this was what you wanted—the moment you decided to create that same distance between the two of you.

it wasn't supposed to be like this. you weren't supposed to care this much, but here you were—again—lying in your bed, staring at the ceiling like it held all the answers, replaying every stupid interaction, every laugh, every moment that had somehow led you here—to this.

you groaned, pressing the heels of your hand into your eyes until stars burst behind your lids.

idiot.

you had one job—keep things simple. keep things easy. and what did you do?

you went and fell for him.

the same person who still laughed with milk dripping down his chin, who stole your fries just to get a reaction, who looked at you like you were the only person in the room even when the room was full.

the same boy who was probably sitting in a cafe—strumming his guitar—with her, smiling like she'd hung the stars.

you squeezed your eyes shit.

stop.

but you couldn't

because the truth was, you hated this. the way your stomach twisted when you thought about him, the way your chest ached when he texted someone else. hated that you'd become that person—the one who reads too much into every glance, every touch, every stupid banana milk he handed you like it meant something.

and you messed up.

because right now, every time he looked at you, you froze, every time he joked, you forced a laugh. every time he tried to close the distance, you moved away.

and he noticed. of course he did.

and instead of fixing it, instead of just telling him—you ran.

"hey, by the way, i think i might be in love with you, and now i can't even look at you without wanting to scream. cool, right?"

no.

that wasn't happening.

because the second you said it out loud, everything would change. you couldn't—wouldn't—risk losing him. not when he meant this much.

so you did the only thing you could.

you pulled away, trying to get rid of those feelings.

and now, here you were—lying in bed, hating yourself for being weak, for being scared, for being the one who ruined the best thing you'd ever had.

all because you were stupid enough to fall for him.

your phone buzzed. again.

you didn't need to look to know who it was.

beomgyu—always beomgyu.

you sat back against the couch, the faint scent of him still clinging to the fabric of the hoodie he'd left behind.

the knock on your apartment door was sharp—impatient. you barely had time to set down your mug before your sister let herself in, her coat slightly damp from the drizzle outside.

"you're ignoring mom's calls," she announced, toeing off her shoes. "and don't say you're 'busy'."

you groaned, flopping back onto the couch.

she flopped beside you, stealing your half-eaten bag of chips. "is this about that guy? beomgyu?" the way she said his name—like it was a secret she'd caught you writing in a diary—made your throat tighten.

"no," you said too quickly. "we're just friends."

she raised a brow. "the kind of friend you ignore calls for?" she smirked. "or the kind you like?"

you rolled your eyes so hard it hurt, averting your gaze. "god, you're so delusional. he's just—" you waved a hand, scrambling for the right word.

annoying. loud. not at all the kind of person who makes your chest ache when he laughs.

"—he's a friend. barely. more like a nuisance."

"a nuisance who brought you banana milk every morning?"

"a nuisance who's super clingy," you snapped, harsher than intended. the words tumbled out, desperate—like if you said them loud enough, you'd believe them. "he's everywhere, all the time, with his stupid jokes and his stupid grin—"

"wow." your sister blinked. "you hate him that much?"

"yes."

no.

"he's insufferable." you continued, your voice cracking. "i could never—never—fall for someone like him." a mocking laugh escaped from your lips. yet the lie burned your tongue.

a moment of silence. then—

a floorboard creaked.

your blood turned to ice. your sister's eyes flicked to the door—then back to you, wide with realization.

she forgot to close it.

your stomach dropped. slowly, you turned. the door was slightly ajar. not enough to notice at first, but enough to see the shadow retreating. enough to hear the muffled thud of someone stumbling back.

no.

you lunged forward, yanking the door open—

rain. empty hallway.

and a single, half—crushed banana milk carton abandoned on your welcome mat.

the silence was unbearable.

beomgyu had stopped texting you. no more random updates, memes. no more banana milk left on your doorstep. completely nothing.

you'd catch yourself staring at your phone, thumb hovering over his contact, only to pull away.

you didn't know what to say.

"sorry i lied about hating you?" "sorry i ran?"

pathetic. you tried texting him—once, twice, a hesitant "hey", then a more desperate "can we talk?"

no response.

worse—the new semester has started, this time he wasn't in any of your shared classes. he wasn't at the cafe. he wasn't anywhere. it was like he'd vanished, and the realization made your stomach twist.

you might have ruined everything already.

the thought clawed at you—what if he was done? what if he'd finally realized you weren't worth the trouble?

you considered going to his apartment, but the fear stopped you. you weren't sure if he even wanted to see you. maybe he would shut the door in your face, his eyes cold in a way you'd never seen before.

you were sitting on a bench outside the library, staring blankly at your untouched coffee, when someone cleared their throat.

you looked up to see soobin standing there, his usual easygoing expression gone—replaced with a sharp expression.

"wow," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "you look about as happy as beomgyu these days."

your fingers tightened around the coffee cup. "what do you—"

"save it," he cut in, plopping down beside you with enough force to make the bench creak. "i'm not here to play therapist. but someone needs to knock some sense into one of you, and since he's currently wallowing in our living room like some tragic romance protagonist, that leaves you."

your breath caught.

soobin raked a hand through his hair, frustrated. "do you have any idea how annoying it is to live with him right now? the sulking, sighing? the way he keeps opening his damn phone, staring at it for five minutes, then throwing it across the couch?" he shot you a look. "and don't even get me started on the guitar playing at 3 a.m."

the words settled heavily in your chest.

"i don't know what happened between you," soobin continued, his voice losing some of its edge, "but it's been over a week. a whole week of this... whatever this is." he turned to face you fully. "so here's my question—are you going to fix it, or do i need to start hiding his guitar?"

you swallowed hard. "is he... does he hate me?"

soobin barked out a laugh. "if he hated you, do you think he'd still be keeping banana milk in our fridge? if he hated you, would i be finding him walking around in your unwashed hoodies, that still has your scent?" he leaned in.

"use your head."

the lump in your throat grew heavier. you stared at the dark liquid in your cup, watching the light reflect off its surface.

soobin dragged both hands down his face with an exasperated sigh, his shoulders slumping as some of the tension left them. when he spoke again, his voice had lost its sharp edge, replaced by weary sincerity.

"look," he said, rubbing his temple, "i'm not trying to be an ass about this. but you two..." he made a vague gesture between you and the general direction of his apartment. "this whole thing is ridiculous. just go talk to him, okay?"

he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, thumbing through it before turning the screen toward you. a recent photo of beomgyu filled the display—slumped over his guitar in their living room, hair messier than usual, crumpled sheets of paper scattered on the floor.

"see this?" soobin tapped the screen. "this is what avoiding each other looks like. and frankly? i'm tired of this."

he pocketed his phone and gave you one last, long look. "so do us all a favor and end this weird standoff before i lose any more sleep and break his guitar."

as he walked away, you noticed his steps were slower now, less agitated than when he'd arrived. the fight had gone out of him, leaving only exhausted concern in its wake.

you stared down at your coffee, the cream forming pale islands in the dark liquid. the bench creaked slightly in the breeze, the empty space beside you suddenly feeling vast and hallow. somewhere across the campus, a guitar chord rang out, or maybe you just imagined it. either way, your fingers curled tighter around the cooling cup.

you missed him.

your phone screen glared back at you—another unanswered text, another call that went straight to voicemail.

you tried catching him between classes, lingering by his usual haunts—the library, the cafe, even the music practice rooms. but he was always either just leaving or already gone, slipping through campus like a ghost.

so you did the only thing left.

you went to his apartment.

the walk there felt endless, your pulse hammering with every step. what if he refused to see you? what if he looked at you with that same cold distance that had settled between you?

this was your fault, so you had to fix it.

your fingers tugged nervously at the sleeve of your sweater, the fabric stretching under your grip.

you raised your hand to knock—hesitated—then forced yourself to do it before you lost your nerve.

the door swung open.

soobin stood there, eyebrows lifting in surprise before he nodded. his expression shifting into a knowing look. he didn't say a word, just stepped aside, grabbing his jacket from the hook in one smooth motion.

"beomgyu is in his room," he said simply, shrugging into his coat. "i'll be gone for a while."

you opened your mouth—to thank him, to ask him to stay, you weren't sure—but he was already brushing past you, tossing a quiet, "don't overthink it," over his shoulder before the door clicked shut behind him.

silence.

the apartment smelled faintly of banana milk and guitar polish mixed with his cologne. a half-empty carton sat on the counter, next to a crumpled bag of the chips you always teased him for eating too much of.

your chest ached.

you took a shaky breath and walked down the short hallway, stopping in front of his door. music played softly from the other side—a familiar melody, one you'd heard him hum absentmindedly before.

you knocked. the music stopped.

a beat of silence.

"yeah. come in."

his voice was quiet. rough.

you turned the knob and stepped inside.

the door creaked as you pushed it open.

beomgyu sat on the edge of his bed, guitar resting across his lap, fingers still hovering over the strings. his head snapped—then froze when he saw you.

for a second, neither of you moved.

his expression flickered—surprise, then something guarded, before settling into careful neutrality. his fingers tightened slightly around the neck of the guitar.

"oh..." he said, voice flat. "it's you."

he said it like he'd been expecting soobin. like he hadn't been expecting you at all.

the words didn't sound angry. they sounded hollow.

you swallowed. "yeah."

silence.

his gaze dropped to his guitar, fingers plucking at a string absently. "didn't think you'd actually show up." he paused, his voice quieter than before. "you never did before."

the words hit like a brick.

his room was dim, the only light coming from the desk lamp. there were crumpled sheets of paper scattered on the floor—lyrics? maybe. a half-empty water bottle. a hoodie tossed carelessly over his chair—your hoodie, the one you'd left at his place weeks ago.

the silence stretched, thick and suffocating. the air between you was thick with unsaid words, the kind that clogged your throat and made your chest ache. you could hear the faint hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen, the distant sound of traffic outside—mundane noises that felt too loud in the silence.

you opened your mouth—

"don't," he cut in, still not making eye-contact. his voice was rough. "don't say you're sorry if you don't mean it."

you swallowed hard. "i need to say this—"

"and i need you to leave," beomgyu cut in, finally lifting his gaze. his voice was sharp, but wavered at the end, cracking like he wasn't sure he even meant it.

something in you snapped.

"no," you said, louder than you meant to. "no, you don't get to do that. don't shut me out, i... i'm trying—trying to fix this, us—just, listen!"

his fingers stilled on the guitar strings.

you barreled on before you could lose your nerve. "i missed you. every damn day. and it killed me because—because i realized something, and it scared the hell out of me, and i didn't know how to say it—"

his head jerked up at that, eyes widening slightly before his expression shuttered again.

"winter break—i realized things. about us. about me." your voice cracked. the confession spilled out like a secret too long kept. "every time you texted me, my heart would race. and it terrified me. what if i ruined everything? what if you didn't feel the same? what if—"

beomgyu's guitar pick clattered to the floor.

you sucked in a sharp breath.

"and when i saw you with her—"

your voice broke, the words tumbling out now, messy and raw.

"and i—god, i felt like i'd been punched in the gut. how she touched your wrist, how you smiled at her. and i—i couldn't even look at you without—" your hands were shaking.

"what if i was too late?" you whispered.

"and then," you let out a shaky laugh, pressing your nails into the palms of your hands. "—and then i told to my sister i hated you. said you were nothing. and you heard it, and i—" you dragged a ragged breath. "fuck, i didn't mean it. i didn't mean any of it. i'm sorry, i was just—god, i was so scared of losing you that... that i—"

beomgyu moved so suddenly you flinched.

the guitar hit the floor with a discordant twang as he stood, his hands hovering in the air between you, trembling. like he didn't know what to do with them. his eyes were wide, his breathing uneven.

"her?" he repeated, voice rough. "the—the girl from the music department?"

you nodded, unable to speak.

beomgyu let out a disbelieving laugh, running a hand through his hair. "god—she's—" he exhaled sharply. "she knew. she knew how i felt about you, and she still let me ramble about you for hours like some—some idiot—"

your pulse stuttered.

his hands finally settled on your shoulder, his grip almost too tight. "she was helping me write a song," he said, voice cracking. "about you."

the world tilted. your stomach fluttered, your heart felt like it was going to jump out of your chest.

beomgyu's thumbs brushed your hands, hesitant. "i kept the banana milk carton from our first meeting," he admitted quietly. "it's in my desk drawer. soobin thinks i'm insane."

a choked laugh escaped you.

his fingers tightened slightly. "say it again," he murmured. "please."

you swallowed. "i like you."

his breath hitched.

"yeah," he breathed, like he was savoring the word. "yeah, me too."

and then—slowly, carefully—he kissed you.

his lips were tentative at first, like he was waiting for permission, and when you didn't pull away, he leaned in fully, one hand lifting to cup your cheek. you could feel the tremble in his fingers, the way his breath shuddered against your skin.

you kissed him back, his other hand resting around your waist, pulling you closer. your hands finding the fabric of his hoodie, clutching it like you were afraid he might disappear.

and just like that—everything fell into place.

୨♡୧ part one / part two / part three / bonus ୨♡୧

#txt #txt fic #choibeomgyu #beomgyu #beomgyu fic #beomgyu imagines #txt imagines #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu x female reader #beomgyu x you #tomorrow x together #txt x reader #beomgyu au #txt au

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dragonzfanfics11 · 6 months ago

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Request - Hii I don't think your asks are on but I really wanted to request a Kit x reader where Kit sees the reader and instantly is infatuated with her to the point where he gets side tracked on his mission with Jentry and becomes borderline obsessed with reader! Thank you In advance ❤️ @soobins--dimple

I'm gonna try my best with this request I've never wrote for an obsessed character I think nor have I wrote for kit yet so I hope this turns out like you expected!!

warnings - probably spelling errors, might be more f!pov then gn, nothing else I think? Let me know if there is more

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Kit walked into the school as the 'new student'. His only focus was to find jentry for his mission. Well....that was until he saw you.

He say jentry in the hall at her locker and thought it'd be a perfect time to get closer to her since she was alone. Class was just about to start so there was a few students rushing to get there things to get to class on time including jentry as he made his way in her direction.

Just as he was halfway down the hall you were just rounding the corner in a rush to get to class and before he could react you ran right into him and both of you tumbled to the ground from the suddenness of the impact.

you ended up falling on top of him, some of your papers scattering onto the floor as he let out a small yelp of surprise, not expecting to be rammed into so suddenly.

"Oh shoot-- I'm sososo sorry I didn't see you!"

You quickly apologized as you pushed yourself off of him and scrambling to grab your papers in hoped to maybe still make it to class

"It's fine just slow down next-"

He froze mid sentence once he actually got a good look at you, you were stunning. Like no other person he's seen before you were breathtaking.

He stares at you for a moment as tou gather your papers, completely entranced by you before realizing he probably looks weird and quickly sits up. Grabbing one of the lost papers that ended up next to him and holding ut out to you.

"Uh here you go.."

"thank you, sorry again for bumping into you like that. I hope I didn't hurt you with how hard we fell"

You say with a small nerves chuckle as you gently take the paper from him. He thought your smile and laugh were beautiful.

"Nono- it's perfectly fine, it wasn't to bad of a fall"

he said with a small nerves smile. All his usual confidence he had with other people seemed to just vanish as he started talking to you. You quickly stood up once you gathered all your papers and offered a hand to help kit up.

He took your hand after a moment. He quickly noticed the warmth and softness of your hand as you helped him up still admiring how beautiful you were.

You smile at him and you both just stand there silently for a moment till suddenly the bell rings and you both quickly remembered there's still classes.

"Oh! Sorry uh- it was nice to meet you!"

You say quickly before rushing to class

"Wha- hang on-!"

He attempted to stop you but you were already gone.

after that he's been thinking more and more about you then his mission with jentry. He'd instantly notice you in hallways or in the classes you both shared. Even in the school gatherings or events he could find you in the crowd almost instantly.

He talked to you evry chance he got and you both quickly became close friends!

Headcanons cuz I can't think of how to continue~~

As he got closer to you as friend he'd follow you around like a lost puppy

Loves asking about all your likes and interests and trys to learn a bit about each of them, like that scean when him and jentry were eating chips and talking about that band (forgot what it was called lol)

He almost completely forgets about his mission with jentry as he started talking and hanging out with you

He probably switched some of his classes so they'd match yours and trys to partner up with you during projects

Completely fascinated whenever you show him something you like or really even just smile at him 😭

Constantly trys to think of ways to tell you he's not human and thinks maybe he shouldn't tell you cuz he doset want you to see him as a monster like everyone else 🥲

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I hope it turned out like you were expecting!!

Also for people wondering, no this does not mean my requests are open i just felt like writing a bit when they messaged me!! I really prefer getting requests when they are open so plz don't start sending requests through messages to much! Have a good day/night 😋

#jentry chau kit #jentry chau #jentry chau vs the underworld #jentry vs the underworld #jcvtu x reader #jcvtu kit #Kit x reader #Jcvtu kit x reader

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littleakito · 5 months ago

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HI HI HI HI HI. Angsty Dazai headcanons? Pretty please! With sprinkles on top even!

╰╮﹕★﹒ANGSTY LITTLE! DAZAI HEADCANNONS﹒🩹 TW WARNING.

AVERAGE DAZAI SHENANIGANS (suicide, sh, etc.), MENTIONS OF FORCED INJURY, EXTREME SELF LOATHING & SELF HATRED, DEHUMANIZATION. NOT TO BE READ WHEN REGRESSED (unless you like. hate yourself I guess? do what you want <3)

HEED THE WARNINGS.

୨୧ ：aah! finally getting to this hehehh.. I would have gotten to it sooner! but I need to be in an awfully specific mood to write angst.. tis odd! also! no cherry on top!!?!?! smh… /silly sprinkles are great though, sounds delicious mmmm..

1　 ﹒　Despising pain so much is quite a struggle when your brain has so much hatred towards yourself it begins to physically hurt, they say that once you grow hungry enough, you begin to eat your own heart. Dazai doesn’t have one of those, last he checked. So instead, his body begins to sacrifice his mindset for one of a much, much younger person.

It’s scary, even scarier when your anxiety is running rampant and rapid, coursing through your veins at an all time high. Vulnerability shouldn’t be such a scary thing, but when your most memorable experience with such is having your arms sliced open on a vivisection table, and tubes shoved down your throat, you begin to despise letting people see you as so.. small.

It’s even worse when you mentally feel so little, and the world around you begins to look like tall, scary faces, watching your every move.

2　 ﹒　Being oh so used to tainting all that he touches is rather tough, I feel as if he’s broken a pacifier before and had an absolute panic attack, god forbid someone allows him to hold a cup whilst he’s somewhat fuzzy, things will begin to blur the lines between sitting in Mori’s office, and being right in front of his caregiver.

3　 ﹒　When he betrayed the Port Mafia, he lost Chuuya. I wouldn’t entirely say that Chuuya was his “caregiver”, due to their oh so complicated relationship, but I would say that Chuuya was the closest thing he’s ever had to one. They’re both rotten, but that doesn’t entirely matter when you feel so sweet next to one another.

Whenever Dazai would begin to wish for him by his side, he would grow so much self hatred, how could he want something? How could he ever allow himself that treat of comfort, when he’s done nothing but be an awful, awful human being(? Is he even that, anymore?) towards both himself, and everyone around him.

He’s been biting and snapping at others for so long, that he’s begun to forget he, too, was bitten himself. That sorrow that taints him is a product of another person, who cherished him, yet only for his inability to feel cherished, and understand emotions in the first place, for that matter.

4　 ﹒　After time, if he ever began to feel even a little more comfortable in that state, he would begin to have extreme night terrors of his regression. He would begin to despise it, anything that brings him comfort should be banished, after-all. If he had a specific love for a certain toy or drink or stuffie, he would cry himself to sleep in a corner without it, all in punishment for existing in the first place.

If whatever god is out there created Dazai with the purpose of making a self loathing success of a black hole, destined to be hungry for love whilst tainting those around him, for all of eternity, they certainly are a master in their field.

୨୧ ：projected a lil too hard with my lil man methinks, anywho, I hope this is okay and at least partially in character! thank you sososo much for your request, ash! ‘twas fulfilling!

HEADER READS: “LITTLE DAZAI HEADCANNONS”

DNI BANNER READS “NSFW DNI” “HEY, DID YOU HEAR ME?” “CHILD SAFE BLOG”

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yumebambi-writes · 1 month ago

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NSFW 10k headcannons please

10K "Z Nation" NSFW Headcanons (MDNI)

ok i have so many thoughts on this because i am genuinely in love with him!!! so this could be really long, or i might have to do multiple parts :P this will be x reader bc the request isn't specific, so i hope that's alright!

cw: masturbation, anal/vaginal fingering, oral f!andm!receiving penetrative sex, choking

10k is a virgin. he has never even kissed anyone. or held hands romantically for that matter

because he's a virgin, he can be a little shy and naive in the bedroom. that's not to say he's innocent because he's not. this man is horny af

being all alone in the appocalypse for three years, and being a lonely homeschooled teenager before that, 10k is very well acquainted with his left hand

he's never seen porn (canon), so i don't think he knows what he likes (other than the fact that he's a tit man for sure (might be projecting here)), soooooo you will have to introduce him to so many things

he is VERY eager to learn

he used to masturbate to nothing. like he had no conjured image or fantasy in mind; he was strictly doing it to relieve himself

HOWEVER, once he meets you, you're all he thinks about while he touches himself

he feels very guilty over this and will avoid looking at you or talking to you at all the next day after he does it for the first time while thinking about you

NOTE: i personally think 10k is uncircumcised. i just don't see his national park-living, homeschooling in the middle-of-nowhere parents as the type to circumcise their baby

he is also very pink and hairy. hugeeee, dark bush with a mouth-watering happy trail. about average in size, but once you teach him how to please you, he is phenomenal, and eventually the size of the boat really doesn't matter compared to the motion of the ocean

SOSOSO EAGER TO PLEASE

he'll do whatever you say, touch you however you ask

consent king. he will never even kiss you without making sure that you want him to. once he gets more confident, he'll be able to read your body language and nonverbal signals so that you don't have to verbally confirm your consent to every little thing, but he'll still ask, "are you ready?" or "is this okay?" every time before pushing inside you

missionary is his favorite position because he loves to look at your face while you're making love (not fucking. making love.)

however, he will cum really fast if you're kissing him while he's inside you

SPEAKING OF--he comes in his pants the first few times you two are just making out. he can't help it, and it mortifies him. it's super hot though

gets boners so easily when around you

you wear a low-cut top? he has to excuse himself from the group to take care of himself. bend over in front of him? raging hard on for the rest of the day. hell, if he sees you kill a z in a particularly hot way, he will be pulling you aside and whining for you to relieve him

VERY LOUD soooo whiney and whimpery and, god, his moans

he has a praise kink but is also obsessed with praising you and telling you just how good you make him feel

he lovessssss your body. it doesn't matter what you look like because to him, you are perfect. he literally worships every part of you and will trail kisses up and down your body and reassure you that he adores even the parts you might be insecure about

he's clumsy at first and makes a mess of it, but he loves to go down on you. he thinks you taste like you were made just for him

will spend hours between your legs if you let him. he once spent the whole afternoon making you cum like seven times before he even inserted himself inside you

not great at fingering and couldn't find the clit/g spot the first time he tried. once you angled him correctly, though, he will go so hard on that spot as to overstimulate you on accident

feels very guilty afterwards if you ever end up crying from overstimulation, and he'll make sure to just trail soft kisses around your thighs and groin

he isn't the best at aftercare the first few times because he immediately falls asleep after he cums

but once he realizes that you need cuddles and cleaning up, he is all up on you (he's the little spoon usually because he can't handle the feeling of your ass against his crotch)

POSSESSIVE. in a lowkey way though; like, if he sees someone flirting with you, he'll just come up and place his arm around your shoulder casually. afterwards, he WILL leave hickeys and love bites and other marks on your chest and neck so that people will know that you are his

if he even THINKS that he's hurt you though, oh man. he would never be into anything rough enough to leave you bruised, nor would he ever bite hard enough to hurt you

however, he does like to be choked--as seen here (/hj)

he's a very gentle lover, almost to the point that it's teasing how slow he goes

except for when he knows he's about to make you cum. then, he is literally rutting into you and chasing your high so fast that it'll come crashing over you, and you won't even know what hit you

when he's about to cum, it's the same except that he's all over the place and can't keep a regular pace because he's so lost in you and what he's feeling

closes his eyes when he cums and has a delicious o-face (with very loud moaning, of course)

if you ever ask him to keep his eyes open while he's cumming, his face will be blazing red with a blush, but he'll do it because you asked

actually seeing your face as he cums is almost an overstimulating experience for him because of how much he loves you your face and body

again, if you have them, i think he loves your tits. even when you're not having sex, he just likes to hold them and kiss them

he can also appreciate a good ass, but i don't think it's his main focus. BIGGGG thigh man though (maybe a little more projection)

if you don't have breasts, i still think he'd like your chest, and he'd definitely pay extra special attention to your nipples if he sensed that you like it

LOVESSS MUTUAL MASTURBATION he thinks its so hot watching you please yourself and knowing he can't touch you but that you're watching him and thinking about him as you touch yourself

kind of vanilla at first, and that's okay <3

was this any good? idk i blacked out; i hope you enjoyed though!!

#z nation #10k z nation #10k z nation x reader #10k x reader #x reader #bambi's headcanons #headcanons #gender neutral reader #10k z nation smut

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shsl-simp · 6 days ago

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ooooh you wanna post the rest of your agere hcs soooo bad!!!! (/nf ofc but i would love to see them)

i guess the best way to overcome your fears is to face them 💔💔

same disclaimer as last time, i wrote all of these with no intention to post them while half asleep. i did not beta read these either 💔

agere hcs for hiroaki, wada, and yanagi!

hiroaki

flip cg lean

hes really not the best but hes trying,, very comforting when he gets soft tho!!!

perfect cg for ojima tbh. comforting, draws with him, just lays in bed w him most of the time,,,,,

almost cried when ojima called him mama for the first time. he genuinely felt so many emotions at once it crushed him

can tell when ojima is slipping + the difference between him regressing and spacing out like scarily well

was hesitant at first before he really knew what agere was but he warmed up when he saw how much it helped ojima :33

draws with his littles a lot,, cherishes every drawing his regressors make for him

sososo soft and gentle with upset or younger regressors,,,

nicknames : sweetheart, darling, kiddo, star

he only regresses after a breakdown / when he's stressed

5-6yo,, very talkative he will not stop RAMBLING

yanagi main cg he treats him so WELL

loveloveloves being called prince by him,,,,

dress up. need i say more.

wada

regressor!!

baby... so unbelievably tiny......

main cgs are tsuno and isono! hasegawa is a babysitter for him :3

completely nonverbal except for crying and whines :(

rlly embarrassed abt his regression but tsuno and isono are v supportive

when tsuno found out he was a regressor she bought him his first regression gear and he CRIED

pacifier lover.

so eeby when small,, just let him sleep

isono sings him lullabies to help him sleep :3

drools in their sleep,, like no even just while regressed like in general

yanagi

flip, cg lean

such an amazing cg oh my GOD

he puts on his princely persona so well for his littles

treats them like ROYALTY

tea parties? tea parties.

nicknames: prince/princess, my liege, etc etc

if his regressor gets overwhelmed/starts crying he panics a bit but hes like. really good with children in general. he smiles and they stop crying

spoils his littles so bad.......

being a cg is so comforting for him bc he gets to be the father he never had,,

speaking of a a father he never had

regressor yanagi !!

like 7-10yo usually

still very princely, but like the childish kind of princely more leaning into knight

bc hes one of the older regressors in the cast he usually takes care of the younger ones,, its just his nature :3

pls play knights with him. how can you resist those piercing blue eyes

his main playmate is tamba,, cmon princess regressor tamba and prince/knight regressor yanagi

loveloveloves folktale storybooks

hes so sweet when regressed but he is also a lot more sensitive,, he jumps at any loud noise or sudden movement

i also have ones for kamimura but no way in HELL am i posting those i projected way too hard 😭 but the footnotes are flip, no lean, involuntary regressor :3

#tdrp #tetro danganronpa pink #tetro danganronpa #tetro pink #✦ tea's txt #tetro agere #agere #hiroaki nakamigawa #wada masanari #yanagi shigeki #ps i wrote wadas before the tfem wada stuff so thats why they use he/him #not saying that you cant refer to wada with he/him just that ik i usually use she/they for them so thats why it was different :3 #i genuinely wanna try taking tetro agere reqs but im lowk scared.......... sigh i hate anxiety #but just know that is a possibility for the near future

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ohno-the-sun · 7 months ago

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:3 slides these over

⭐️💖📓

⭐️ - Favorite AU character design?

Hmmm in general gosh thats so hard there's so many good ones out there I mean basically every oobbbear design for an au makes me go crazy

qwille with their gitm stuff is so incredible too they have such detailed characters

Omg and chknbzkt’s werewolf stuff, just absolutely all of it I adore sososo much

wyervan and their slasher boys have started bouncing around in my head loads they are just so skrunkly

Lynafern's forest boys too I love them sososoosos much

omg 8um8le's cyber boys too- I love their sun so much hes like a big gentle giant

gosh i could go on and on there's so many good ones out there

I guess among my own aus- think magical girl au has the prettiest designs, but my luca au siren babies are an indulgent fav

💖 - Do you prefer your Y/N to be a blank slate for the reader to project on or do you prefer them to be more like an OC in their own right?

I don't really like y/n's in general, I think I just have a problem with the 2nd person perspective- I don't like being told what to do pfptpfp

But in general I think I prefer when they have more personality or are their own character- makes them more of like an interesting person for the dca's to interact with rather than like putting "myself" into the story

📓 - Show us a current WIP for your AU!

Here’s a small part of a comm I got from the lovely chknbzkt that I may or may not eventually color pfpfpt

And a small snippet of something I might post very very soon (I am biting at the walls of my enclosure)

#fnaf daycare attendant #sundrop #ask #moondrop #my art #Luca au #I am so excited u guys

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themousebehindthecurtain · 11 months ago

Text

hello!!! now that the mice are in the picture i feel like i can start actually start pulling my weight with the "marketing" side of things so.......here is an art blog where i can breakdown some of the process stuff that goes into making the comic.

first! before anything! go read my comic! it's about a witch who tries to break a curse on some people who got turned into mice but it turns out they want to stay mice!! my sister and i work sososo hard on it and also it's silly! read it here @notinvitedtothemouseparty or on the neocities our younger sister made (mouse-party.neocities.org)

now that we've got some basics out of the way, when annie (sister) and I first started throwing this idea around we realized we wanted the mice to look like a completely different art style than the rest of the comics. the easiest way to do this would, obviously, be to get a non-annie artist to draw them.

i am a non-trained artist, outside of like. elementary school art lessons. but during the first COVID lockdown, i had started a silly little challenge to draw a mouse (completely unrelated to this project) a day every night before bed and sent it into the group chat we share with our sister. going back over these drawings, it was really cool to see how i progressed drawing the same thing consistently and we started to discuss whether or not *i* should be the one to draw the mice. which um!!! made me a little nervous ngl! annie is very talented! and i didn't really know how to draw hands!!

but when we put some of my mice on her backgrounds it felt kind of undeniably charming. the contrast between the watercolors and the paper doll-like mice worked really well together and i think ultimately ends up serving a good thematic statement. this comic is fundamentally about Growth And Creativity In The Face Of Weird Horrors And Situations Also™ and what better way to show that than conducting a story-wide psychological experiment to see if i end up going from being a scribbler to an all-around okay illustrator! could get better at art, could get worse! the goal here is fun and also to finish a project amen forever and ever!

the division of labor was set: i would draw the mice, annie would draw literally everything else

#need a proccess tag think its gonna be #mouse rules #you’re not invited to the mouse party #comics #webcomic #i don't know if we've laid it all out yet entirely but this is the exact breakdown of who is doing what lol #annie does backgrounds and humans i do mice #annie and i work on story beats together i write the scripts

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iluvchick3nz · 3 months ago

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Harvard era finnlo plz👀 gotta love angst w/ baby finnlo love and sweetness

*Sighs*

Once again, I cannot write unresolved angst. It's just too painful, and I don't like to hurt myself that much. HOWEVER, this piece does STAY a little angsty because Leo is a *kinda hurt* ray of sunshine in NOLA after the playoffs, BUT FinnLo miss him SOSOSO much!

Please keep sending in prompts if you'd like! I'm almost done writing all the ones I've got. :)

Credits to @lumosinlove :)

Logan didn’t know how to be mad at Finn. That’s what he’d discovered after their first fight.

Finn had promised to help him with his English reading, but then he’d had to meet up with his French Literature group for a project at the last minute because their professor had moved the due date up. With Samyra. Logan liked Samyra. She was nice, funny, smart, beautiful- and obviously got along with Finn. Logan wouldn’t be surprised if he asked her out. And Logan really should have been happy about that, should have been understanding about the fact that Finn really did have a good excuse to miss their study session. But it was Finn. He drove Logan crazy, he made Logan laugh, he made Logan lose every single bit of rationale he was holding in.

And he was also supposed to help Logan study for his English midterm.

Logan really regretted yelling. Irritation was justified, even if it wasn’t Finn’s fault. Feelings were justified, as Aubrey loved to remind him when he was little and got hot-headed, but the actions one took afterwards sometimes weren’t. And yelling at Finn, who had been trying to be reasonable even if he was confused, definitely wasn’t justified. Logan had slammed the door so hard after him a book had fallen from Finn’s shelf. Pride and Prejudice. Logan almost cried at the memory of him and Finn watching the movie the day Logan had turned in his essay on it.

Now, Logan was still sitting at his desk, trying to make sense of the essay prompts they were given for Romeo and Juliet. Logan had read it in high school, but in French, and never with the level of analysis his professor required. He let out a frustrated grunt and threw his pencil down. He looked at his phone. 5:30.

The dining hall would be getting busy soon. He should have gone before all the good options were gone, but he never went alone. He and Finn always went together, even if they were coming from different places or left to meet up with different people after eating. It was Logan’s favorite part of the day: Finn’s undivided attention, Finn’s laugh, the way Finn always gave him half of his dessert. Logan let out a shaky breath and covered his face with his hands.

After a moment, he heard a thump outside of their door and then the sound of the knob being turned. Finn walked through, humming to whatever was playing through his AirPods. He stopped when he saw Logan, looking him up and down, before taking his headphones out. The silence that stretched between him removing them from his ears and their case clicking shut seemed like an eternity.

Finally, he looked Logan in the eye. “Hey, Lo. I-”

“I’m sorry,” Logan interrupted, standing abruptly. They weren’t eye to eye, so Finn had to look down, and even though the difference wasn’t much, Logan still felt incredibly small. Finn’s gaze was a little curious, a little shocked, a little hurt. Logan hated hurting Finn. “I’m sorry,” he said again. His accent sounded thick. “I’m so sorry, I should not have yelled at you. That was not fair.”

Finn’s shoulder relaxed, the hurt fading into something Logan didn’t understand, but all that mattered was that Finn was looking at him. “Hey, no, it’s okay. You’re stressed.”

“No,” Logan shook his head. “Non, non, it’s never okay to yell at you like that. I-” He stopped. English was hard for him. He tried to think of what Aubrey would tell him to do.

Breathe. Breathe, Logan, it’s okay to feel things. It’s okay to apologize, too.

Logan took a deep breath. “I am sorry. I am stressed, and I was frustrated, but I should not have yelled at you.” He averted his gaze and looked down at his sneakers. He could make out where Finn had signed his name on the top of his foot with a smiley face. It made his breath catch all over again. “I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

“What? Wait, no, Logan-” Finn cut himself off to grab Logan’s shoulders, ducking down to meet his eyes. “No, God, I’m not mad at you. I can’t- I can’t be mad at you.”

Logan jerked his head up. “What?” That sounded too close to-

“You’re my best friend. I can’t be mad at you.” Finn jostled him lightly. “You’re my best friend, okay? Forever. You don’t have a choice.”

“Oh.” The news wasn’t new to Logan, but for some reason he still felt surprised. “You’re my best friend, too.”

“Good. C’mere.”

Finn wrapped him in a hug. His arms were strong and his chest was solid. Logan knew his hands were too low on Finn’s back, clutching at his waist. Normal friends didn’t hug like that. But Finn and Logan did. Logan was confused and scared, but he was mostly warm and safe. Finn’s arms were safe. Even if Logan didn’t know anything else, he certainly knew that.

“Okay,” Finn said, giving Logan one more squeeze before leaning back. They were a little further apart now, but they didn’t completely remove their arms from around each other. Finn smiled down at him. “Pack your stuff. Let’s go get dinner and go to the library. I’ll help you with your English essay, ‘kay?”

“D’accord,” Logan said, pulling away from Finn’s warmth to pack his things. A thought popped into his head, and he felt a pang in his stomach as he asked, “Did you ask Samyra out?”

Finn blinked. “Uh, no? She’s got a girlfriend. We’re just friends.” He cocked his head. “Why?”

“Oh, uh…” Logan shrugged. “Seemed nice, that’s all. Thought you might like her.”

Finn smiled slightly and shook his head. “No. No.” He bit his lip and looked Logan up and down. “No, I’m all set for now, actually.” He jerked his head towards the door. “C’mon, the dining hall will be busy soon, and I want to get the chocolate pudding before it’s gone.”

“You mean you want to get it and give it to me, don’t you?”

Finn shoved him out the door. “Maybe with other desserts, but not with chocolate pudding. Let’s go, Tremblay, you’ve got an essay to write and I’m starving.”

Logan laughed and walked with Finn down the stairs and out of the house. In the sunshine, with Finn as his company, he felt a little lighter.

***

“Fuck me, this steak is good.”

Logan smiled against the rim of his wine glass. Across the table, Finn had his cutlery poised and his mouth closed, slowly chewing his bite of New York strip. After a moment, he hummed in appreciation and opened his eyes. He smiled at Logan around his food. “What?”

Logan swallowed his wine and set the glass down. “You’re cute.”

That made Finn’s eyes sparkle. “You flirting with me, ten?”

Logan looked from his eyes, to his lips, to his capable hands, then back up to his face, where his cheeks were now flushing slightly. “Maybe.”

Finn put the utensils down and squeezed Logan’s ankle between his own two feet. “Stop that, I’ll never eat my steak if you keep looking at me like that. And it’s good steak.”

“Ouais, it is,” Logan sighed, picking up his own fork and knife and cutting into his piece of meat. “Le would like this place.”

“Mm.” Finn finished another bite. “Well, we can take him. When he gets back from New Orleans.”

“Ouais.” Logan worried the inside of his cheek. “Fish?”

At Logan’s tone, Finn looked up from his plate. “Yeah?”

Logan let out a nervous breath. “Do you think Leo’s mad at me?”

Finn studied him for a moment. The dim restaurant lights made his eyes look warm. Or, maybe, that’s just how they looked when they saw Logan. “No, baby. He’s not mad.”

Logan nodded minutely. “Ouais. Non, ouais, you’re right, I’m sorry. That was silly.”

“Hey, hey,” Finn said, taking both of Logan’s hands in his own and squeezing his fingers. He was leaning across the table a bit now, as if to keep their conversation private. “He’s not mad at you. Mad that we lost in the playoffs? Yes. Mad that he was in goal? Yes. Mad that it was you who scored on him? Yes. But he’s not mad at you, baby.” Finn paused for a minute, scrunching his eyes in thought. “I don’t even think he’s mad, more frustrated, because he could never be mad at you. And he's hurt. Hurt that we ended up in that situation and that we were forced to face each other like that. Hurt that he did, that he had to face some things he really didn’t want to.”

Logan let out an angry breath. “Jack.”

Finn kissed his fingers. “Yes. Jack, but not just him. Le felt so separate there, for a minute, you know? When I got my concussion. And you talked it out, and it’s fine now, but it did happen. And so he was frustrated at himself, and Jack, and the playoffs, and-” Finn looked conflicted for a second.

“What?” Logan pressed. “What, rouge?”

When Finn’s eyes looked into his, they were almost a little sad, but he smiled anyway. “I think that, the longer we’re dating, and the more he learns about the two of us at Harvard… I don’t know, he just gets more frustrated with the fact that he wasn’t there? Not like, sad, but- selfish, I guess, for the years he didn’t know us. Not that he could have, obviously, and we’re together forever, there’s no stopping that.” Finn smiled when Logan let out a light laugh. He shrugged. “I think he just wants to have been there with us. It probably would have been messy, I know, but- I don’t know, even I’m selfish for that lost time with him, I guess. With both of you. It would have meant more time with him, if he was there with us.”

Logan nodded. “Ouais. Ouais, I would have liked him there, too.” He brought Finn’s hands up to his own mouth, now, and kissed them gently. “But I also like him here.” He brushed a hand through Finn’s hair. “He helped me be okay with loving you both. With loving myself. And I don’t think I would have felt that way in college, even if he was there. I had a lot to learn.” He grinned softly. “I also cannot be mad at him. Or you. Never could.”

Finn laughed. “Yeah, me neither. And yeah, you did. We both did.” He cupped Logan’s cheek and kissed him gently. “I love you.”

Logan smiled against his mouth and kissed him again. “I love you, too.”

When he sat back and picked up his utensils again, he spared a glance at Finn. It was different than sitting across from him in the Harvard dining hall. He was still Finn. He made Logan laugh like he did back then, but it was also more now. He kissed Logan, he held Logan, he gave Logan pleasure so deep and heady, let Logan give him pleasure until they were shaking with it. He loved Logan. He loved Leo. He kissed Leo, held Leo, made love to Leo. Logan loved seeing him love Leo. He loved seeing Leo love Finn. He loved both of his boys receiving the love they so deserved, that he wanted them to have. He loved how gently they treated each other and him. He couldn’t ask for anything more, didn’t want to. He had everything he’d ever wanted, and even more than he’d ever thought to look for in the first place.

“You okay?” Finn asked, breaking him out of his reverie.

Logan smiled at him. “Ouais.” He pressed their ankles more insistently together. “I love sitting across from you at dinner.”

Finn tilted his head questioningly at him for a moment. Logan watched the moment he understood and felt something warm settle in his chest. Finn reached across and playfully pushed at his cheek. “Fuck, ten, don’t say things like that, or we’re going to be out of here real fast. And I am enjoying this steak.”

“Oui,” Logan agreed. “It’s good steak.” He took a bite and considered for a moment. “But not as good as Leo’s”

“Ain’t that the truth. C’mon, eat up, you need all the protein you can get for those big muscles of yours. Then we can go home and call sunshine.”

Logan rolled his eyes playfully but obeyed, and poised his fork and knife.

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carmendeiact2whenplz · 11 months ago

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for the ask game, maybe decarabian or amos?

(Decarabian, since I already did Amos)

First impression: “I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I WISH HE DIDNT EXIST I HOPE HE BURNS IN HELL FOREVER HOW DARE HE DO THAT TO NB I HATE HIM I HATE HIM HE DESERVES EVERYTHING BAD EVER!!!!”

Current impression: The same as my first impression with the addition of “If I do not know Everything about him within the next three seconds I will Explode. I have so many headcanons about him I am sooooooo normal about him. I need to consume every media every theory everything about him ever. I need to dissect him and observe him under a microscope. I need to throw him off a cliff (derogatory) (affectionate) (derogatory). I need to put him in a maze with a reward at the end and see how he tries to escape. He is rotating in my mind at light speed. Everyone is wrong about him. I hate him sososo much but at this point I might actually be his number one fan. I am projecting so hard onto him it’s scary. He is truly A Character To Ever Exist”

Favorite moment: I can’t actually answer this as we have no idea what Any of his moments were. We have zero quotes from him, and he’s appeared in zero cutscenes, hopefully we will know more about him in the future

Idea for a story: He gets revived/reincarnated into modern day teyvat, there are a million ways that it could go from there but I need to see that man in an environment where he isn’t a god and isn’t treated like one whatsoever, and how he reacts to it all.

Unpopular opinion: Not quite sure how unpopular this is considering there aren’t many Opinions about him in the first place, but I don’t think he would be an extremely masculine 100% cis man. He should have at least a little bit of Gender in him. For all we know, “lord” and “king” are both apparently gender neutral titles/situational and not gender based arlecchino and navia in the genshin universe, and there is a good chance he probably can shapeshift to some degree. Obligatory “we have no idea what he looked like whatsoever” comment

Favorite relationship: Him and nb, I need to know if their thoughts about eachother went anything beyond mutual hatred. Maybe deep down they both respected and pitied eachother in a way. I need to lock those two in a room where they are forced to have a normal conversation for five minutes without them trying to kill each other.

Favorite headcanon: I think he should be Serious but also secretly have a lot of whimsy that he doesn’t show very often. He likes hoarding Shiny things in the tower. He runs down hallways watching his cape flow behind him. He secretly sings when no one’s watching or listening. He accidentally breaks character in serious moments sometimes. He should be a little bit silly

#decarabian #old mondstadt

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ya-killin-me-smalls · 9 days ago

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yOU HAVW NO IDEA HOW I KICKED MY FEET WHEN I SAW YOUR RWSPONSE AHHH JESUS DUDE I've never talked to an author so extensively (well apart from. My partner who writes fics heheh) and ouuuhgghrggh thank you so much for indulging me... I never considered too hard about Deimos being such an unreliable narrator like I went holy fu k that's so smart. And obviously from a readers perspective I'm gonna project so god damn hard ontoghe entire situation and interpret it my own way, yknow. And ouhghh thank you for the next chapter crumbs. I have to ask because I'm so curious do characters have rough ages? I also forgot to really mention er er like how Deimos and doc genuinely don't know shit about each other. But worse because doc knows a lot more than Deimos. Like Deimos doesn't know how old this guy is. And he even said like doc could have a wife and kids and he wouldn't be surprised, but like YOU said that unfamiliarity is probably what makes Deimos more attracted to him because of his past handler. REALLY good point BTW I forgot about his handler n how it'd affect him.

And even rho like yea were all flawed I feel like doc, being the person in more power and more time in his life and more experience or whatever should recognise that if he wants to help Deimos sex is the last thing Deimos needs!!! If he made it clear from the start that he actually cares about Deimos rather than him finding Deimos cute, I think things would've gone a lot more differently. An honestly if I had time on my hands I'd like to write an au on that. ALSO HANKFORD HOLY SHIT

Gehehveeg again it means sososo much that u like. Thought so hard about what I was saying ur da goat smalls

as someone who's dumped in my favorite author's inbox before and got really awesome thoughtful responses, I try to keep that energy going. I also just really really love talking about this fic/ship like it pains me to keep my mouth shut about spoilers

I don't have solid ages set for anyone aside from Doc because he was asked directly, which was 38. Sanford is like 28 and Hank I'm leaving a mystery because giving them a solid age just feels wrong. Dave and Bert are somewhere between 25-35 but I try to leave stuff up to interpretation as much as possible. Deimos is a complicated answer and for that I gotta show part of The Sleepwalker Files

this is the one I was talking about that'll actually go over Deimos's brain damage and other stuff. so developmentally speaking he's around 26-28 during TIMH, which takes place 2 years after he dissents from the AAHW, so he was 24-25 when he dissented. in terms of time spent conscious and aware of the world, dude has 10ish years under his belt and most of those were spent under Silas's control, the earliest years no longer in his memory because of his amygdalotomy. it's a complicated answer but it's kind of a projection of my own experience being a system, feeling like I haven't actually existed for very long despite being 24. I could keep rambling on this and my headcanons for clone development and how the other place works and all the logic behind it but I shant

but yeah 10ish year age gap there and. well like I said. don't date your boss lmao. it's been healing writing this fic even if their relationship isn't quite healthy it's like. y'know Doc DOES love him despite everything and I wish it had ended that way for me. fix it fic for my own life

anyway Doc knows a decent amount about Deimos in terms of his past since he's read his file. he hasn't talked to Deimos about it because he trusts Deimos to open up when he's ready to, if he's ever ready to. on a personal level though, he's definitely in the dark but has the advantage of Deimos having zero social life to try and sort through. he's trying to unravel who Deimos is on the inside and Deimos is playing 3d chess in his mind about Doc. the mystery does add to the appeal even if he isn't aware of it, because everything he doesn't know about Doc he can fill in gaps with what he knew about Silas because that's the only baseline he has on how to interact with an authority figure. this has mixed results. I do plan to expand more on Deimos's background with Silas but honestly I'm like. glad that people see Doc as bad guy-adjacent because it means Deimos is doing a great job of lying to the reader and himself

the intermission I'm writing right now takes place like a year before the actual events of TIMH and that'll kinda clear up a little bit how their friendship was before it turned into a clusterfuck. unfortunately the place where I started it didn't really allow for that buuuut there was a foundational positive relationship there. if Doc were smart he would've given it several more years for Deimos to figure out how to be his own person before making any sort of move, but it was a heat of the moment decision and one that he regrets very often

please please please write an au (if you feel like it no pressure) I would absolutely love to see your take on things because just from this convo I can tell you put a lot of thought into this stuff and I think a fic by you would go fucking hard dude

hankford implications:

Deimos knows something is being talked about but he's not picking up on it properly

he's stupid and majorly lacking in maturity, hasn't ever stopped and thought "hm maybe my words and actions are hurtful to others" because he's on the defensive 24/7 and likes to blame all the consequences for his actions on things that he can't control instead of. his actions

man. I can't spoil things. it's definitely possible for them to salvage things and I got more than a few ideas on how that'll happen. honestly tho if you wanna write a spinoff where sanmos happens then feel free to because early on that was one of the endings I'd considered but ultimately scrapped

#i could talk about this shit endlessly #anon ily #asks

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