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andillneverbethesame · 11 months ago

Text

GUILTY AS SIN?

❥ james potter x fem!reader, sirius black x fem!reader

❥ warnings; emotional cheating, sexual thoughts, self pleasuring

❥ you 'loved' your boyfriend sirius. or at least, you loved him as a friend. but his best friend james. . . he was the one that made your heart skip a beat, he was the one in your wildest dreams.

❥ word count; 4k

❥ a/n; meant to make this more inspired by guilty as sin but whateverr

my ts masterlist pt 1, pt 2

you sat together in a quiet common room, the low hum of the evening settling around you and him. your heart raced as you met his gaze, the warmth of his brown eyes drawing you closer.

he brushed a strand of hair from your face, his fingers lingering just a moment longer on your skin. you could feel the electricity between you two, the pull that had been there for so long, finally undeniable.

without thinking, you leaned in, your breath catching as your lips met softly. his hand slipped gently to the back of your neck, fingers weaving into your hair as he pulled you in deeper, your kiss becoming more urgent, more certain. the taste of him, the closeness — it sent your senses spiriling.

his arm travelled to around your waist, tugging you against him until there was barely any space left between your bodies. you sighed against his lips, feeling the press of his breath mingle with your own. every touch, every kiss felt like it held the weight of everything unsaid between you two.

time seemed to slow, the outside world fading as you lost yourselves in each other. he kissed you deeper and you surrendered to the warmth, the tenderness of the moment, feeling safe and alive in his arms, knowing that you didn't need words to understand what was building between you and him.

you tugged at the hem of his shirt. the weight of his embrace dissapeared as he lifted his arms so you could take it off. once the piece of clothing was lying on the common room floor, you pulled away for a second to admire his body that must have been sculpted by some greek god.

he smirked and took the opportunity to push you so you were lying down on the sofa. he climbed on top of you and once again, connected your lips. one of his hands made its way from the side of your face, through the valley of your breasts until it reached the bow of your underwear, and then—

thud!

you opened your eyes and quickly sat up. you were a bit confused as of your whereabouts but soon realized you were in the marauders's dorm. in your boyfriend's bed.

you turned your head to find the reason of the loud thud and found james potter standing a few steps from where you were. he picked up what most likely fell, a muggle book you began reading a few days ago.

the worst thing? he was only in a towel that hang dangerously low on his hips. he looked just as attractive as he did in your dreams. but this was worse. this was reality. and you had a hard time trying to look away.

“sorry, love,” james said and blood rushed into your cheeks at the nickname. it always did when he called you that, “didn't mean to scare you. i was just wondering what the book is about. sounds interesting.”

“you can have it,” you said without thinking. “borrow it, i mean. if you want.”

james raised his eyebrow. “you're halfway through. i'll borrow it when you're done,” he said and put it back on your (well, sirius's) nightstand.

before you could respond, the door opened and sirius walked in, still in his quidditch uniform. you realized they must have had an early morning practice and that's why sirius (nor peter and remus, who were probably watching them) wasn't there before.

“good morning, babe,” your boyfriend said and pecked your lips. after he pulled away, he eyed james up and down. “why are you naked, prongs? trying to seduce my gorgeous girlfriend? i don't blame you. but back off,” he joked.

james only rolled his eyes, looking like he thought it was the most absurd thing in the entire world and it tugged at your heart. you wished he tried to seduce you.

but would you let him? you didn't know. you would if you weren't with sirius, you were hundred percent sure about that. but yiu, unfortunately, were and she couldn't do that to him. it was his best friend, for merlin's sake.

you forced a smile as you glanced at sirius. “how was the training?”

“good, good,” he replied as he took off the top of his uniform, revealing his slender body. “it'd be better if you were there, though. but i didn't want to wake you up. you looked so peaceful. like you were dreaming about something nice.”

you bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. oh, sirius. if you only had a slightest idea what i was dreaming about.

the evening of that very same day, while you were in the shower, you couldn't stop thinking about james. he was on your mind when you turned on the water. he was on your mind when your hand slipped between your legs. you dreamed about him being there with you as she felt the familiar knot building in your belly. and you held back from moaning his name as the knot exploded and your legs shook, and so you just whispered it, over and over until you came back to your senses again.

your face was all pink when you looked into the mirror, realizing you've never touched yourself and thought about sirius. sure, the sex was great. there was no doubt that he was a skilled guy, but it did nothing to the emotional side of you.

you sighed and opened the bathroom door before walking over to sirius's bed. you secretely glanced at james, who was already dead asleep, and wished you could go to him instead.

you slipped into sirius's bed and he turned around to face you. he had that look in his eyes that you knew well. and you shook your head.

“no, not today, i'm sorry,” you spoke and let your head hit the pillow. “i'm not feeling well.”

“oh, okay, that's alright,” he said and wrapped his arm around you. “what's wrong?”

“my belly aches. i think i'll get my period soon,” you lied and you hoped he wasn't secretely tracking your cycle to know you were making this up.

“oh no,” he frowned. “ is there anything i can do?”

you shook your head. “no, that's okay. nothing a good night of sleep can't fix.”

he nodded and pressed his lips to the side of your head. “goodnight, then. you can wake me up if something's wrong.”

“i will. goodnight.”

“goodnight. love you.”

you remained silent for whole two seconds. “love you too.” the taste of the words was bittersweet so you swallowed, letting the guilt eat you up alive.

whatever you tried, you could not turn your mind off and just fall asleep. it was a torture. leading on sirius like that while having more than platonic feelings for his best friend, who probably did not feel the same way about you. that was embarassing. you were ruining your relationship for something that's not guaranteed. and probably not even possible.

sirius was already sleeping when you got out of the bed and decided to go and wonder somewhere else.

the gryffindor common room was dimly lit and you noticed that the lamp next to one of the armchairs was on and remus lupin was curled up in it with a book in his hand.

he looked up at you and then at his watch. his eyebrows furrowed. “it's three in the morning, what are you doing here?”

“could ask you the same thing,” you replied and lied on the sofa opposite to where remus was sitting. “i couldn't sleep. i'm not feeling well.”

“physically or mentally?”

you didn't plan to tell remus, or anyone, for that matter, about your love problems. but you were feeling very vulnerable at that moment and you had no idea what to do.

“mentally,” you responded honestly. and remus only nodded, waiting for you to continue. “have you ever had such bad thoughts that made you think you were a horible person?”

he nodded once again. “i think everyone had these at least once in their life. but there's no such thing as bad thoughts. only your actions talk.”

you wondered what that really meant. you glanced at him and something in his eyes made your heart start racing.

he knew.

“w-wait, do you. . .” you trailed off, hoping for him to get what you mean.

“it's not that hard to see. . .” he answered. “but don't worry, sirius is oblivious. he has no idea. and neither does james.”

you sighed. “you don't think i'm a horrible person? for feeling like that about james when i'm with sirius? cause i definitely feel horrible.”

“i don't think you're a horrible person for feeling like that. but you should not continue whatever this thing is you have with sirius. he deserves to know. and after what he's gone through, he doesn't deserve to be lead on.”

you nodded. “yeah, you're right i need to tell him. but what if james finds out and doesn't feel the same? that'd be just embarassing.”

remus smiled. “trust me, he does feel the same.”

“how do you know?”

“he told me.”

y/n šat up and blinked at him, unsure if she heard that correctly. “he told you?”

that couldn't have been the truth right? you would surely notice if james liked you more than platonically. there would have to be some lingering touches and classes or something. james is the type of guy to show what he feels, especially through physical touch. you would know.

“he told me,” remus repeated. he must have noticed the suspicious look on your face because his next words were, “i'm not making this shit up, y/n. he told me around the christmas holidays while you were over at the potter's mansion. he realized his feelings because he finally admitted to himself he's jealous when he saw you and sirius cuddled up on the couch. he was miserable when he realized he might love his best friend's girlfriend. almost cried the whole night at the thought how this will hurt sirius. what he didn't know is that you love him, too, and that might hurt sirius even more.”

“he will hate me,” you breathed out and tears began to form in the corner of your eyes. “and james, too, if something happens between us.”

your shoulders began to shook as you let the tears fall down your cheeks. you might have not loved sirius as a romantic partner, but he was a close friend. he made you smile and laugh and he knew your fears and dreams. he was one of the closest people in your life. you did not want to lose him.

remus moved from his spot in the armchairs to the spot next to you on the sofa and put his arm around your shoulders. “there, there, it's going to be okay.”

“i'm horrible,” you sobbed. “am i even allowed to cry?”

“of course, you are,” remus whispered and pulled you close, allowing you to smell the comforting smell he had — books and chocolate (and cigarettes).

you had no idea what you were going to do. but one thing was sure.

you needed to tell sirius.

the next morning, you wake up with a heavy heart, your mind still swirling with last night's conversation with remus. sirius had woken up early, leaving a note on his pillow that he was off to another quidditch practice. you feel both relieved and anxious — it gives you more time to think, but also more time to dread what you need to do.

you can’t keep living this lie, but the thought of breaking sirius’s heart fills you with guilt. yet, what remus said about honesty echoes in your mind. sirius deserves the truth, and if you wait too long, the betrayal will hurt even more.

you get dressed slowly, your thoughts racing. what will you say? how can you explain this without tearing your entire friend group apart? the idea of sirius hating you is unbearable, and the fear of losing james before anything even begins twists your stomach in knots.

as you descend the stairs to the common room, each step feels heavier, as if dragging you deeper into your own turmoil. the room is mostly empty except for remus, who sits in his usual armchair, reading. he glances up when you appear, his expression softening when he sees the dark circles under your eyes.

“you look like you didn’t sleep at all,” he says, closing his book. “did you think about what we talked about?”

you nod, sitting down beside him, feeling the weight of everything about to come crashing down. "i have to tell him. today."

remus gives you a reassuring smile. “it’s the right thing to do. and after that... you’ll need to talk to james.”

your heart stutters at the mention of his name. the mere thought of confronting your feelings for james and what that means for your future — your friendship — makes you dizzy with nerves. you bite your lip and glance toward the portrait hole. you can already hear footsteps and familiar voices outside. sirius and james are returning from practice.

"how am i supposed to face them?" you whisper, more to yourself than to remus.

before remus can respond, the portrait swings open, and sirius walks in, all smiles, his hair messy and damp from exertion. james follows closely behind, laughing at something sirius had said, but the moment his eyes land on you, the laughter fades, and something flickers across his face — a brief moment of tension that makes your chest tighten.

sirius immediately crosses the room and kisses you on the forehead. "hey, love," he says with that bright smile you adore. "you feeling any better today?"

you swallow hard, your throat dry as you try to muster the words that have been festering inside you for too long. “sirius... we need to talk.”

sirius’s expression shifts, the playful grin fading as he sits down beside you. “sure, anything.” he glances over at james, who lingers by the door, clearly sensing the heaviness in the air. james gives a quick nod and mumbles something about taking a shower before disappearing up the stairs, leaving you and sirius alone.

remus, sensing the gravity of the moment, excuses himself with a reassuring pat on your shoulder and slips out of the common room, leaving you with sirius — and the truth you can no longer avoid.

you take a deep breath, your heart pounding in your chest. "sirius... there's something i need to tell you. and i’m so, so sorry."

his brows furrow in concern. “you’re scaring me. what’s going on?”

the words lodge in your throat, but you force them out, your voice trembling. “i haven’t been completely honest with you... about how i feel.”

sirius’s confusion deepens. “what do you mean?”

you look down at your hands, unable to meet his eyes as the confession spills from your lips. “i care about you, so much, but... i don’t love you the way you deserve to be loved. and worse... i’ve developed feelings for someone else.”

the silence that follows is suffocating. you can hear your own heartbeat echoing in your ears as you finally look up at sirius, whose face has gone from confused to utterly heartbroken.

“for someone else?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

you nod, your throat tightening. "james."

for a moment, sirius says nothing. he just stares at you, disbelief and pain swirling in his dark eyes. then, slowly, he stands up, running a hand through his hair as he takes a step back, as if needing physical distance from the revelation.

"james?" his voice cracks. “my best friend?”

your tears spill over as you nod again, the guilt overwhelming you. “i didn’t mean for it to happen, sirius. i never wanted to hurt you. i swear.”

sirius clenches his jaw, his hands curling into fists at his sides. he looks like he’s battling a storm inside himself, torn between the love he still feels for you and the betrayal stinging his heart. after what feels like an eternity, he exhales shakily, his voice hoarse. “i can’t believe this...”

“i know. i’m so sorry.”

sirius turns away, his shoulders slumped, and for a moment, you fear he’ll just walk away and never speak to you again. but he doesn’t. instead, he stands there, breathing deeply as if trying to hold himself together.

finally, he faces you again, his expression softer, but still full of pain. “i appreciate you telling me, y/n. i really do. but it doesn’t make this any easier.”

you wipe at your tears, nodding. “i never wanted to hurt you.”

“i know,” he says quietly. “but it’s gonna take me some time to deal with this. to deal with... everything.”

without another word, he turns and leaves the common room, leaving you sitting alone on the couch, your heart shattered from hurting someone you care about deeply.

now, the only thing left is to face james.

you sit there for a moment, frozen, the weight of everything pressing down on you like a heavy blanket. sirius’s departure leaves the room feeling colder, emptier. the silence that follows is almost unbearable, and your heart aches for him — for the pain you know you’ve caused.

but there’s no time to wallow in guilt now. you know what comes next.

james.

you stand slowly, your legs shaky as you gather yourself. your mind races as you head toward the stairs that lead to the boys’ dormitory, each step feeling heavier than the last. you pause outside the door, taking a deep breath. it feels impossible — how are you supposed to face him, especially after what just happened with sirius?

after a long moment, you finally muster the courage and knock softly on the door.

“come in,” james’s voice calls from the other side.

your heart leaps in your chest. you push the door open to find him sitting on his bed, still damp from the shower, hair tousled in that familiar messy way. he looks up, his brown eyes locking onto yours, and for a second, the world seems to stop.

you step inside, closing the door behind you, and the air feels thick with unspoken words.

“hey,” james says, his tone softer than usual, like he knows something is off. “what’s up? everything okay?”

you swallow hard, unsure how to begin. your voice comes out quieter than you intended. “i talked to sirius.”

his brows furrow slightly, confusion flickering in his eyes. “about what?”

you take a breath, sitting on the edge of the bed across from him. “about us. about... how i feel.”

james’s eyes widen slightly, and he sits up straighter. his expression shifts, a mixture of curiosity and apprehension washing over his face. “wait, what do you mean? what did you tell him?”

you look down at your hands, unable to meet his gaze. “i told him that i... that i have feelings for someone else.” the words feel heavy, hanging in the air between you both.

the silence that follows is thick, almost unbearable. you can feel james staring at you, his confusion growing.

“who?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper, though part of him seems to already know the answer.

you finally look up, meeting his eyes, and the vulnerability you see in them nearly undoes you. “you,” you whisper, your heart pounding in your chest. “i told sirius i have feelings for you.”

james stares at you, completely still, as if the words haven’t fully registered. his mouth opens slightly, but no sound comes out at first. finally, after what feels like an eternity, he speaks, his voice shaky. “me?”

you nod, your throat tight. “i know it’s wrong. i know it’s messed up, and i feel awful for hurting sirius, but... i couldn’t keep pretending anymore. i can’t stop thinking about you, james.”

his breath catches, and you can see the battle waging inside him — the shock, the guilt, the uncertainty. he runs a hand through his messy hair, glancing away for a moment as if trying to process everything.

“i didn’t think...” he starts, then stops himself, swallowing hard. “i didn’t think you felt the same way. i’ve been trying to bury this, y/n. i thought it would just... go away.”

you shake your head. “it hasn’t gone away for me, either. no matter how much i tried, it’s just... always there.”

james leans back slightly, his hands gripping the edge of the bed, knuckles turning white. he looks at you, eyes full of emotion, and for a moment, you see the same longing you’ve been feeling reflected back at you.

“what about sirius?” he asks, his voice laced with pain and hesitation.

“i told him,” you say softly, tears pricking at your eyes. “i told him the truth. he was hurt — of course he was. but i couldn’t keep lying to him. not about this.”

james closes his eyes for a moment, his chest rising and falling as he takes a deep breath. when he opens them again, there’s a flicker of hope, but also fear. “this... this is complicated,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair again. “sirius is my best friend. i don’t want to hurt him.”

“neither do i,” you say quietly, feeling the weight of your words. “but i can’t keep ignoring how i feel, james. and... i don’t think you can either.”

he looks at you for a long moment, his hazel eyes searching yours as if trying to figure out what to do, what to say. finally, he stands, taking a step toward you, his hand reaching out slowly. his fingers brush yours, tentative at first, like he’s afraid to fully close the distance between you.

but when he finally does, when his hand wraps around yours, you feel a rush of warmth, a sense of rightness, despite the chaos swirling around you.

“i’ve wanted this for so long,” james admits, his voice barely above a whisper. “but i was too scared to do anything about it. too scared to hurt anyone.”

you squeeze his hand gently, your heart racing as you take a step closer to him. “me too.”

the tension between you is palpable, the air thick with everything unsaid. his eyes search yours, and for the first time, there’s no hesitation — only a quiet certainty. his hand moves to your cheek, his thumb brushing softly against your skin.

“what do we do now?” james asks, his voice full of vulnerability.

you take a deep breath, your heart pounding in your chest. “we figure it out. together.”

and then, as if the world had been waiting for this moment, he leans in, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that feels like everything you’ve both been holding back. it’s slow at first, tentative, as if you’re both still afraid of the consequences — but then it deepens, and all the longing, all the confusion melts away, leaving only the undeniable pull between you.

when you finally pull back, breathless, james rests his forehead against yours, his eyes closed as he exhales softly. “i’ve wanted to do that for so long.”

“me too,” you whisper, your hand resting on his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath your palm.

but as the reality of the situation begins to settle in, you both know this isn’t the end — it’s just the beginning of something far more complicated. there’s sirius, the rest of your friends, and the mess that’s about to follow. but for now, in this moment, you allow yourself to feel the relief, the happiness that comes from finally being honest with yourself — and with james.

whatever comes next, you’ll face it together.

#harry potter #harry potter imagine #marauders #marauders imagine #harry potter x reader #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #james potter #james potter x reader #sirius black x reader #remus lupin x reader #james potter imagine #james potter smut #james potter fanfic #james potter fanfiction #james potter angst #harry potter fluff #james potter fluff #harry potter angst #harry potter smut

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mttonex · 6 months ago

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THANK YOU FOR THE TOPHABE PONIES they're so cute..... one time i was also making a kind of pony au, was getting invested but eventually forgot about it

and reading your post it reminded me of the cutie marks, and the implications of the og historical figures being ponies lol

one of my dilemmas was if the clones would be "born" with the same cutiemark as their clone parents or gain their own

for the sake of not making this too long (for now) i just want to ask you your interpretation!! do you think they would have their own separated cutie mark?? or some would have the same or at least similar

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION!!! I was also thinking about this when I was designing the clones' cutie marks..

My thoughts under the cut (I have a lot)

Firstly the implications of the clone parents being ponies (hilarious) Yeah I guess in this universe they were all real, the clones are still clones, and the ogs had their own cutie marks just like any normal pony in mlp 😭 Anyway I decided that when the clones were cloned they would be a blank slate (a blank flank, if you will😁) Since cutie marks have a strong connection to the pony's talents and personality, and a lot of the clones have such differing personalities from their clone parents, it would make sense that they would have different cutie marks too

Clones that are similar in personality or who are trying to live up to their clone parent would probably end up getting a cutie mark similar to theirs (but not the exact same) or one relating to their clone parent, whereas clones who have wildly different personalities or have given up on/don't want to live up to their clone parent would get much different cutie marks. Taking my designs for example, Confucius and Harriet, who are very different from their clone parents, have cutie marks that don't relate to their parents at all, instead having ones that reflect their own personality. Frida and Cleo, however, who are a lot more similar to their clone parents, have cutie marks that I imagine would bear resemblance to their parent's

(my pony designs for reference:)

Joan and Abe's cutie marks are a mix of both of these though, having both something of their own personality and something relating to their clone parent. I think some clones, no matter how alike to their clone parent they are, would end up having small references to them in their cutie marks, they are clones after all

Clones who got their cutie mark when they were younger also might have similar cutie marks to their clone parent, even if they grow to be much different than them, as most clones probably really wanted to grow up to be like their clone parent when they were kids. This applies to my Topher pony because I imagine he got his cutie mark when he was a kid, but now he doesn't look up to his clone father anymore, so his cutie mark doesn't reflect his current personality. I know ponies in mlp get their cutie marks when they're kids but whateverr they're clones they probably work different than normal ponies. They have the extra burden of living up to their clone parents so it might take longer for them to discover who they want to be

Another thing I think would be interesting is the concept of some clones being blank flanks. Clones who are unsure how/if they want to live up to their clone parents, but also don't really have any strong passions/talents of their own. The clones are only teenagers, and they're still trying to figure out who they are. They would probably eventually get their cutie mark, like the cmc in mlp, but it's an interesting concept nevertheless. Makes me wish we could've seen an older pony be a blank flank in mlp :(

If the clones DID have the exact same cutie marks as their clone parents, I think it would be like a "What my Cutie Mark is Telling Me" situation where they try to live up to the destiny their cutie mark is telling them, that being the destiny of their clone parent. This would make a fire animatic tbh.....

Am I reading too much into this for a crossover between a kids show and a teen drama parody??? probably but WHOO CARESS I'M CRINGE AND I'M FREE. I love thinking about the whole clone aspect of clone high so this was really fun to write :3 sorry for making this a whole ESSAY

tl;dr: I think the clones would have different cutie marks than their clone parents 😁

#asks #clone high #mlp #clone high ponies #i made a lot of this up while i was designing everypony so i hope it makes somewhat sense 😭#if anything doesn't make sense my excuse is that they're clones and their dna is weird #i also wrote this right before i went to sleep #this is all based on the mlp g4 lore btw. I haven't seen the g5 show so i'm not sure if they changed anything in regards to cutie marks #also at the time of writing this i haven't finished designing a jfk pony so i'm not sure where he will fall into this yet 💔#as much as i love cutie marks they are SO HARD to design #gandhi is also not here but his cutie mark would probably fall into the same category as confucius and harriet's

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goat-sin-of-lust · 4 months ago

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can u use this ask to talk about whateverr you want really long

i didnt think id get one so im unprepared. um um. i rlly like 7ds even tho the authors weird as hell bcuz yknow. i like the story 👉🏼👈🏼 despite meliodas being THAT at some times hes fun! when hes normal hes a nice guy!!! i wish he did more stuff with diane tho. shes my third favorite. merlin and me shouldve been siblings i say that so much in the legend WE R SIBLINGS!!! idrc about ban and escanor i forget they exist. and ofc me and king r so yaoi 🫶🏼 we were supposed to be dating but it wss changed. im totally telling the truth. read 7ds its good (the anime is good AS A TREAT it feels totally different from the manga)

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visckera · 1 year ago

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TELL ME ABOUT LITERALLY ANYTHING YOUR OCS WHATEVERR I WANT TO HEAR YOY RANT ABOUT STUFF YOU LOVEEEE

YOURE GONNA REGRET THIS >:)c

It all started with Sky. Before Sky, there was nothing. But then there was Sky.

Sky was filled with Stars. Stars made Light. The rest of Sky was Dark.

And so, Raal was born for Light, and Kek was born for Dark.

One day, a star Died. Someone else was found in the place it was, and Sky called them Death.

There was something different about Death. They used Raal’s Light and Kek’s Dark to Craft.

Death Crafted Imprisonment, who was also Freedom, Pain, who was also Protection, Soul, who was also Shadow, Progression, who was also Tradition, and Abnormal, who was also Normal.

Sky saw Death’s Crafts, and knew this was not just Death, but Life as well.

Each of Them, along with Raal and Kek, worked to build Life.

Even with Life working with them, this was no easy feat. Life was delicate, something to be protected and preserved until it sprouted and bloomed.

It was always too hot or too cold, too dry or too wet. Sky saw Them getting impatient and suggested something else.

“What about more of Us, Death-But-Also-Life?”

Death-But-Also-Life shook their head. “I have made all I will.”

So Sky set to work themselves. They Crafted Nosoi, who was Sickness, and Salus, who was Health. Sky’s Crafts were not like Death-Who-Was-Also-Life.

They were not two in one body, the Opposites dragged together, polar in every way but somehow harmonious.

But that was All Right, Sky reasoned. They did their job.

Nosoi and Salus took interest in the Life They were cultivating. They could not be sick or healthy, so they were happy this Life could.

Eventually, It started to take shape. It was only a prototype, It’s objective being to be the Perfect experiment, and one day the Perfect servant.

So with this in mind, Sky named it the Servling.

The Servling was Amazing. Nosoi filled it with Sickness, and Salus with Health.

Imprisonment-But-Also-Freedom chained it and ripped at it, but it still stared with slack-jawed awe at any of the Eleven of them with mesmerised amazement.

So they Crafted More. More Servlings, tough and simple, to populate their empty worlds.

And they Worshipped. They built Temples to the Eleven that gave them life, Grovelled at Their feet as they walked the lands. Sacrificed themselves and Each Other in a strange Desperation for Approval from Them.

And They got drunk on it. They loved the Servlings for the power their devotion gave Them. They loved that They could do whatever they wished with them, play with them like dolls.

But after a while, the Servlings were boring. Their blind obedience was exhilarating, but dull after a millennium of it.

“They don’t think.” Soul-But-Also-Shadow complained, who had decided their name was Orange to make things easier for everyone.

Red agreed. “They enjoy Pain, and Protection. We cannot make them feel anything but love.”

Blue, formerly Imprisonment-But-Also-Freedom spoke next. “I want things that will feel.”

Purple stayed silent. Abnormal-But-Also-Normal didn’t care about the Servlings.

Progression-But-Also-Tradition hadn’t liked the Servlings as much as the others. They thought they didn’t deserve such bad treatment, but even Yellow knew they were growing bored.

So Green agreed to make different creatures. It was within Death-But-Also-Life's power.

So they erased the Servlings. The worlds they inhabited were left dormant, but not for long. With the template that was the Servings, they created humans.

The humans were filled with emotion and feelings. They were jealous and hateful and territorial, but also loving and giving and selfless.

They loved them.

They were so much fun to torture and spoil. They kept changing and evolving. Their blood was especially intoxicating.

It was a wonder they didn't eradicate the whole race. They were entertaining to hunt. Their screams were like liquid joy.

years and years and years and years and years and years and years

well. haha. this is kind of the premise of my main story and ocs. six gods (sort of. not really) kinda just fucking around. each of their personalities is based off of a villain stereotype (mastermind, muscle, insane etc.) so if you wanna hear more abt them let me know ig :)

#text #text post #ace writes #writeblr #writers on tumblr

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scatterbrainedart · 2 years ago

Text

Found a recorded performance of the Frankenstein musical and so naturally I have more thoughts to share about it

(Sort of a continuation on this post)

Like I've said before, the changes they make from canon in the musical always serves a very real purpose for the sake of the medium they're telling the story in, like the origins of the creature. Because, they'd have to have just one guy play him so it makes sense, and I really like how they executed it. It's made in such a way that it doesn't feel out of place at all, or jarring, as some adaptive changes very much can. So that's very exciting!! But it does, however, make him even more tragic. So, ouch.

This part. Just very fun lyrically. The condemned man asking for his creator (God) to claim him before he dies, and then after his execution, Victor does. So simple yet so effective. I love this musical. (Also just the rest of that line as well. The man accepts his death, only wishing for his cruel life to be over. Despite that, Victor continues and prolongs it, and consequently only fills it with more pain and suffering. Will not analyse and reflect on the "I'll trust in you" bit of the line as I believe that would cause me to implode. Thank you for your understanding)

Whoever decided that the same instrumental would play for Your Father's Eyes and Amen (Reprise), I HATE YOUUU. I AM IN SHAMBLES. Not only did they have the line "Forgive this foolish father" in there, but the fucking parallel itself of Victor's father reassuring him vs Victor seeking the creature's grace is gonna be the end of me. Genuinely. I am so so weak for family dynamics, this is NOT fair.

So far I have not found a single Frankenstein adaptation that doesn't do Henry Clerval outrageously dirty. People just hate friendships fr. I get that they change him for drama reasons, and to make him less like the other characters (since they all pretty much serve the same purpose, and therefore interact with Victor the same way. Changing some of them to interact differently with him adds some more dynamic to it all, which I do understand but it still annoys me). Henry absolutely adores him, and more importantly respects and wholeheartedly trusts him. Henry's death plays for the same reason as all the other deaths in the story: to hit Victor where it hurts and further fuel his grief and anger. Which, again, I get why you'd want more drama out of it. But the Clerval slander, man D: The slander.

Where are the adaptations with an overly affectionate Clerval?? The Clerval who cares for Victor in sickness and in health without asking any questions whatsoever, the Clerval who would rather be next to his best friend on his absolute lowest possible point than with strangers who lift him up indefinitely??? The Clerval who is always there when he's allowed, but respects Victor's wishes for the contrary when asked???? WHERE are the adaptations in which Clerval's trusting nature and his affections towards Victor is what makes him the creature's target??????? That CAN make good drama if you're not a COWARD. Oh yes, family bonds broken from the death of William, tragic. Oh no the loss of his romantic love in Elizabeth, how sad. But his friendship with Clerval?? Eh, just do whatever seems the most interesting. It's basically a gap to be filled with anything, really (/s). And, I mean, it could be. And I get it. But every goddamn time?? Friendships aren't boring dynamics. They have just as much love and pain as romantic and familial bonds, again, if you're not a coward. That is my main critique, because they really didn't need to do that honestly. But eh, whateverr, it's finee, I'm coolll. I just wish people would just let men be pals more often. Just let em be bros. Pls.

Anyway. The creature's origins also ties really well into how Victor would get his materials for the female version, since in the musical that whole bit is directly after Justine's trial (and the fem creature is played by her actress, at least in the version I watched, which seems reasonable).

Hm. I wonder if there was a time skip in there. Coulda been since the trial is in very end of act 1 and The Modern Prometheus is first thing in act 2, so the break could have functioned as a time skip I suppose. But if not, that would mean all of his guilty moping, which passed that time in between, in the book, wouldn't have happened in the musical version. Not even off-screen. Which does add up, I suppose, since I complained last time about how that whole portion of the story being overlooked by The Modern Prometheus anyway. Could expain why he was surprisingly easy to convince to make a second attempt at creating life. He wasn't quite as regretful, and the dream hadn't been dead for quite as long. Huh. Well I guess that doesn't matter then. Fair enough.

This specific performance of the musical painted Victor as this particularly selfish, pathetic little man and I'm kinda obsessed. I mean, obviously he kinda is in the book as well, but they really went all out. Especially on this one part (during The Proposition, I think) where the creature just grabs him by the collar, almost lifts him up and then throws him on the ground. Such a small little man. A little guy but slash neg. Short guy energy, but filled to the brink with self righteousness and the aspirations of greatness, mostly just for the sake of greatness. Very hubris indeed (especially as he clearly clings onto that hope of greatness, as showed in The Modern Prometheus). I mean he has enough empathy to feel human and real but man is he a little freak. That's almost peak blorbo material right there.

Also, the musical honestly drove home the theme of hubris better to me than the book did. Like, it was obviously prominent in the book as well, but Frankenstein's hubris in that only lasted for around a quarter of it at most. Then the rest of it was him just cursing himself for it in silence and hoping the world would just take him out of his misery already. Which is also peak blorbo material. But, a musical wouldn't have executed that particular well I don't think, so what they ended up doing was great. Again, adaptations whose main changes are made in favour of the medium are the best kinds of adaptations. The ones that preserve a lot of the story, or emphasize parts of it, while adapting it to fit their way of storytelling. The musical is one of those. It's pretty close to the book but most importantly it conveys the same ideas, shares the same vibes and tells the story of a longwinded book in such a way that it feels as if it always was a musical. And that, in my oh so humble opinion, is what makes it so good.

But ah. Oof. The ENDING. Alright, so- there was a lot of context to stuff that didn't quite land with me until I actually watched the thing, and the ending was one of those. Is it accurate to the book? No. Is it GREAT? I mean, that's a matter of taste, but I would definitely say so. But then again, I am weak to family dynamics. See, I didn't realise The Coming of The Dawn was practically just Victor having a parental epiphany. So you mean to tell me he travelled to the arctic in a haze of rage, and then that all that anger shimmered down into grief somewhere within that fatigue and exhaustion, and he kept going only to apologise on his deathbed?

Ah. Hahahah. Haha.

Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm good. Especially with how the creature reacted to it, assuming to find his creator in the midst of the cold, forstbitten and crawling his way forwards with nothing but the desperation of revenge. Assuming to find hate and violence, and instead finding a grieving father using his last breath to seek forgiveness where he already knows there might be none. I'm especially fine with how caught off guard the creature is at that, not really sure how to handle that emotion, that sudden, unfamiliar softness. And then the regret seeping in, the grief upon gaining all he truly wanted (his father's love) and losing it just as quickly. And it was his fault, and it was too late to take it back (HMMMM parallels. Victor almost,, turns their dynamic upside down in a way).

Frankenstein still comes to a sort of peace of mind at the end of the book, but not asking forgiveness. He asks Walton to continue his hunt for the creature even. It may not be passionatly said, but it's still his dying wish. That "yeah I'd appreciate to see him wiped off the face of the earth but also, I get that it's kind of a big thing to ask of someone so I wouldn't blame you if you didn't". Then the creature comes, after his death, and talks some of his own sincere thoughts before running off with Victor to die somewhere (which, I would assume, is what These Hands have drawn inspiration from and just moved around. Which is wonderful. It flows better that way anyhow). It's totally not heartbreaking at ALL, I'm FINE, I'm GOOD.

Ahhg. And then the Workings of The Heart parallels and instrumental. Fucking hell. I could go on about that, I feel, but again. Gonna refrain from that as I would probably implode if I were to try.

Victor in the musical goes from being far more selfish and hubris-inflicted than book!Victor, to being empathetic enough to beg at the feet of the murderer of all his friends and family, for grace. Book!Victor is a lot more steady in his emotional journey in comparison (which really does say something), and both versions are great. Ahhg, the musical is such a masterpiece. Honestly.

Alright. As a reward for reading all of that, he's the links to act 1 and act 2, the version I watched, in case y'all wanna watch them too. The expressions and emotions are definitely the highlight :)

#Frankenstein #frankenstein the musical #scatterbrained rambles #frankenstein brainrot #mary shelly's frankenstein

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