#(Trying to rizz her up) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

[zapfish-juice]

Hellsing art requests? 🫦 can I request Integra?? I need her in the next 0.0037 milliseconds though or I will explode PLEAS— 💥💥

*sob* the Integra nation will remember you soldier, thank you for your service🥀

[ramshacklerumble]

thinking about....dylla spade...

[spinnysocks]

noooo don't rizz up my daughter /silly

[dol-dee]

Fallen Sydney is definitely the type that enthusiastically buys all sorts of kinky outfits. For themself as much as their s/o haha

Sydney buying a bunch of outfits she really wants to see on Dee. Forgetting she will have to convince/beg her for weeks to actually wear them

[cestacruz]

AU doodles

This was the original reason why i drew league girls in those poses btw

[whysamwhy123]

So, I started writing a dumb crackfic about a bunch of my blorbos attempting to hit on my newest blorbo because it was funny in my head buuuuut turns out I'm not funny enough to bring it to life so I probably ain't gonna finish it. But I don't wanna feel like I completely wasted my time, so I'm just gonna drop the unfinished thing here because I can't seem to make myself continue it. It's a shame because I feel like it would have gotten a little better/funnier after I got the set-up out of the way, I had plans for where this would go, but alas, my brain has failed me yet again. And whatever, this most likely appeals to absolutely no one anyway, so here it is, read at your own risk because it sucks!

Jack was minding his own business before the show, wandering the halls while dicking around his phone, when he spotted Hook, just standing there.

‘’Hey man, what’s up?’’ he said, leaning against the nearest wall, still looking at his phone.

When no response came, Jack looked up. Hook was still as a statue, his eyes focused forward. Did he not hear him?

‘’Hello? Hook?’’

Jack got closer and slowly turned his head in the direction Hook was staring. ‘’What are you looki - whoa!’’

Jack almost dropped his phone when he first caught a glimpse of her. No wonder Hook was staring - she had to be the most beautiful woman he’d ever soon. She was fucking gorgeous. The kind of woman that’s so beautiful it feels like she shouldn’t be allowed to exist. Or that you shouldn’t be allowed to look at her, how dare you think yourself worthy! But she was real and she was right there all the way over on the other side of the hallway. She seemed to be checking how she looked in her phone’s camera, adjusting her long blonde hair and examining her makeup as though it wasn’t already perfect. She was perfect. She was wearing this all red ensemble that showed off just how killer her body was. And she was tall too. Long legs.

Jack’s mouth was agape. He knew it wasn’t polite to stare but how could he not?

‘’Jack, buddy,’’ Hook said, not taking his eyes off the beauty across the hall. ‘’I’ve found my next conquest.’’

Jack couldn’t take his eyes off her either. Who could blame them? ‘’Who is that?’’

Hook somehow managed to tear his eyes away from the vision they’ve been blessed to look upon and turned his head to Jack instead. ‘’My next conquest. Weren’t you listening?’’

Jack forced himself to look away - any longer and he was about to start drooling. ‘’No, who is she? What’s her name? I’ve gotta know.’’

‘’You seriously don’t know who she is?’’

The two men whirled around to find Daniel Garcia right next to them.

‘’How long have you been there?’’ Hook asked.

Daniel waved him off, a whatever gesture and then nodded his head in the direction of the unbelievably gorgeous woman. ‘’That’s Mariah May!’’

Hook and Jack blinked at him.

‘’From Stardom?’’

More blinking.

‘’Club Venus? Rose Gold?’’

‘’You’re just saying words at us, man,’’ Hook said.

Daniel gave them a judgemental look. ‘’You guys don’t watch Stardom? For real? Do you not watch any joshi wrestling at all?’’

Jack scratched the back of his neck. Hook gave a half-hearted shrug.

Daniel shook his head. ‘’What’s wrong with you guys? Y’all got no taste. Where else do you find spots to steal?’’

‘’My dad,’’ Hook said.

At the same time, Jack said, ‘’Shawn Michaels, I guess?’’

Daniel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘’I’m surrounded by uncultured swines. Look, she was one of the hottest - literally - free agents in the business. She just signed here, she’s debuting tonight.’’

‘’She’s a wrestler?’’ Hook said. ‘’Damn. Would have been easier if she was a rat.’’

‘’She could be,’’ Daniel said. ‘’You can be a wrestler and a rat at the same time.’’

Hook narrowed his eyes at Daniel. ‘’You would know.’’

Daniel smiled back, completely oblivious. ‘’Yeah, I mean, look at Adam Cole. Or Edge. Or CM Pu -’’ He stopped himself and his eyes went wide in Jack’s direction. A very uncomfortable silence fell over the three of them, one that seemed to last precisely one million years. ‘’...other examples…’’

‘’Alright, enough standing around,’’ Hook said finally. He took his hands out of his hoodie pocket and cracked his knuckles. ‘’I’m going in.’’

Two hands, one from Daniel and one from Jack, shot out and grabbed his hoodie, preventing him from taking a step.

‘’No way,’’ Daniel said.

‘’Nuh uh,’’ Jack added.

Hook glared at the two. ‘’I saw her first.’’

Daniel was aghast. ‘’No, I saw her first! You didn’t know who she was until fifteen seconds ago!’’

‘’That doesn’t count,’’ Hook argued. ‘’I saw her first in the building, so I get first dibs.’’

‘’That’s not fair!’’ Jack whined.

Daniel said, ‘’You don’t understand, man - I’ve been crazy about this girl ever since I first saw her on Stardom World. I’ve been waiting for this moment for months - that could be the love of my life right there!’’

‘’Yeah, well, I wanna fuck her,’’ Hook said, as though that was the most airtight, well-reasoned counterpoint imaginable. ‘’You can fanboy over her all you want after I’m done with her.’’

‘’Hell no! I don’t want your sloppy seconds!’’

‘’If ‘the love of your life’ is sloppy seconds, what does that say about you, huh?’’

Hook and Daniel had been gradually inching closer to each other with each response. They both looked mad, like they were one second away from throwing punches. Jack couldn’t let that happen. Not after last time…

He put a hand on each man’s shoulder and created some distance between them. ‘’Guys, guys, calm down! We don’t need to fight.’’

Clearer heads seemed to prevail, Hook and Daniel shared a nod and then their body language changed, less guarded.

‘’Besides, you’re both wrong,’’ Jack continued. ‘’I should get to approach her first.’’

Hook and Daniel, now suddenly allies, raised an eyebrow each at Jack. ‘’Why?’’ they both asked at the same time.

‘’Because…’’ Jack started. His mind drew a blank. ‘’...I…want to…’’

Now it was Jack’s turn to be blinked at. He wracked his brain - he couldn’t let this opportunity slip away, not when the girl in question was that hot.

‘’Okay, here’s why it should be me! Or, I guess, here’s why it shouldn’t be either of you!’’ He pointed at Daniel. ‘’You hit on girls all the time, while I don’t. So much. So it’s only fair that I got a shot first because, you know, it’s a special occasion.’’ Daniel looked incredulous and opened his mouth to respond but Jack cut him off by pointing at Hook and continuing. ‘’And you! Aren’t you already seeing someone?’’

‘’Uh, no? The fuck you talking about?’’ Hook asked, looking very annoyed at the mere suggestion.

‘’What about that girl you hook up with all the time? The one who’s always texting you? Carly something?’’

Hook rolled his eyes. ‘’Alright, look - technically, I never told Carly we were exclusive. I just…told her a bunch of other stuff and she kinda assumed and I didn’t correct her because I didn’t wanna seem like an asshole. But just because she lets me hit on the regular doesn’t mean I owe her anything - she should understand that. So how is it my fault if she gets mad about something like this?’’

Jack furrowed his brow at his best friend. ‘’You…you don’t seriously think that, right? That’s gross!’’

‘’Nah, that makes perfect sense,’’ Daniel said. ‘’Flawless logic. She’s the one in the wrong, not you.’’

He and Hook shared a quick fistbump. Fuckboy solidarity.

Jack sighed deeply. ‘’See? This is why I should get to shoot my shot first - I won’t treat like her dirt like you two assholes!’’

Daniel looked offended. ‘’I’ll have you know, I’ll treat her like a queen!’’

Hook nodded. ‘’Yeah, same. Unless she doesn’t want me to, you know?’’

Fistbumps all around.

‘’There’s gotta be a way we can decide, fairly, who gets to go first,’’ Jack said. ‘’Some way we can settle this like mature adults. Like men.’’

The three men took a long moment to ponder their predicament and search for an appropriate solution.

Hook glanced down at his fist. ‘’Rock, paper, scissors?’’

‘’Yes,’’ Jack said, emphatically.

Daniel rubbed his hands together. ‘’Alright, how we doing this? Elimination style or triple threat rules?’’

Jack decided to defer to Hook; it was his idea after all.

Hook considered it for a moment. ‘’The usual 3-way match rules. First to score a fall wins.’’

The three of them formed a triangle and each of them placed a fist onto their other palm, ready and waiting. After silently confirming they were all ready through a series of shared nods, Jack took it upon himself to count them down.

‘’Okay, here we go! Rock, paper, scissors, sh -’’

Before he could finish, Jack was shoved back by Daniel, his back colliding with the wall. Daniel then grabbed Hook’s hand, still balled into a fist, and promptly covered it with his own palm, preventing Hook from changing his option and signalling paper-beats-rock.

‘’I win!’’ he announced proudly.

Hook ripped his hand away. ‘’Like hell you do!’’

‘’The fuck was that?!’’ Jack demanded, rubbing his back where it was now sore. ‘’That wasn’t a win, you cheated!’’

Daniel smiled smugly. ‘’No, I didn’t. We said triple threat rules - that means it’s No DQ.’’

A lengthy discussion ensued about what exactly constitutes a disqualification in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, hollowed by a side tangent about why there aren't disqualifications in a triple threat match. Upon realising that they weren’t going anywhere and were just wasting time, they all agreed to play by elimination rules. Hook was the first fall, picking paper while Jack and Daniel went with scissors. And in the finals, Jack’s paper bested Daniel’s rock. How poetic.

‘’Yes!’’ Jack exclaimed triumphantly. He took a great deal of satisfaction in Hook and Daniel’s sour, dejected expressions.

Jack glanced back over to confirm that Mariah was a) still there and b) hadn’t overheard any of that, which turned out to be true on both counts. She was in the exact same spot as before, still admiring herself in her phone’s camera. Jack could relate.

Jack took a few deep breaths to psyche himself up. ‘’Okay, Jack, you got this. You got this! I know exactly what’ll work here!’’

Hook groaned. ‘’You’re not seriously gonna try that again, are you?’’

‘’I told you, it totally works!’’ Jack said, defiant. ‘’Sometimes.’’

‘’What’s he talking about?’’ Daniel asked.

Hook sighed. ‘’He has this thing he does to try and pick up girls. It’s stupid - he just stands around looking sad and supposedly, a girl will eventually come up to him and ask him what’s wrong.’’

‘’It. Works. Sometimes,’’ Jack insisted.

Daniel considered that. ‘’Huh. Yeah, I can see it. One time, there was this girl who told me I had ‘sad eyes’ and it was half the reason she fucked me. So you might be onto something.’’

With his confidence boosted, Jack took another breath to calm his nerves and headed down the hallway to his target. He willed himself to stay calm, but he grew more nervous with each footstep. The closer he got, the better he could see her. She was even more stunning up close.

When he was near enough, he put on his game face. Which was to say, he put on his best sad puppy dog eyes and leaned against the wall, dejected.

His head was bowed, but he could see Mariah out of the corner of his eye. Unfortunately, she was still distracted by her own reflection. Jack didn’t blame her, but he really needed her to look his way. 

He let out a loud sigh. Nothing. So he sighed louder. Still nothing. The third sigh was so loud and exaggerated, it was almost comical. But it was the one that got the job done. Mariah finally looked up from her phone and found him there. There was a flash of concern on her face and Jack knew his diabolical plan was working.

‘’Excuse me, are you alright? You look really sad!’’

Whoa, she has an English accent? Jack wasn’t expecting that. It took him a couple of seconds to process and actually respond.

‘’Oh, it’s nothing, really. Just one thing after another today, you know?’’

Jack knows this is the part where she asks more questions about why he’s so sad and tries to cheer him up.

Mariah just hummed. ‘’Okay,’’ she said, and then turned her attention back to her phone.

Uh oh. It’s not going according to plan! Jack’s brain scrambled for what to do next. He pushed himself away from the wall and closer to her.

‘’Uh, hey, wait! Uh, I’m Jack!’’ he said, offering his hand out.

She eyed his hand curiously and then reluctantly shook it. Goddammit, why did he try to shake her hand? That’s not romantic, that’s…business-y?

‘’Nice to meet you, I guess,’’ she said. ‘’I’m Mariah May.’’

‘’Yeah, I know who you are,’’ Jack said. He wracked his brain for what it was Daniel said about her back there. ‘’I saw you wrestle in, uh…Venus World?’’

[sharlsworld]

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆ the sainz effect — 𝐎𝐏𝟖𝟏 ❁

( 𝗈𝗌𝖼𝖺𝗋 𝗉𝗂𝖺𝗌𝗍𝗋𝗂 𝗑 𝗌𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗓 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 ）

（ 𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒 ）𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝗌𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗓 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝖺 𝖿𝖾𝗐 𝖽𝗋𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗐𝗋𝖺𝗉𝗉𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋， 𝗌𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝖼𝖺𝗉𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍？𝗆𝖺𝗒𝖻𝖾 𝖺 𝖼𝖾𝗋𝗍𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝗁𝗒 𝖺𝗎𝗌𝗌𝗂𝖾

✫ i kinda really hate this i got lazy at the end sorry

🝮

yn

liked by pierregasly and 1,834,175 others

yn i’ll be back japan 😋🫰🏽 kinda boring race, happy birthday oscariño, getting fined for having a tummy ache is crazy, me & lily were munching alllll weekend, 8/10

lilymhe My favorite date 🥰🥰

⤷ alex_albon sigh

lando you’re so cute

lando 😍😍😘😘🥰 i’d eat sushi for you btw

⤷ yn do it then

⤷ lando okay let me mentally prepare myself. let’s go to dinner tomorrow tonight

⤷ yn i do not like the way you said that

⤷ lando may we please go to dinner where i’ll eat sushi for you at 8pm tomorrow night sweet beautiful kind princess?

⤷ yn 👍

⤷ lando chat is that rizz

⤷ alex_albon never beating the norizz allegations

⤷ lando oh who is you

carlossainz55 Saying “tummy ache” at your big age is crazy

⤷ yn fuck i’m glad you got fined you bitch.

⤷ carlossainz55 I was just teasing bug don’t be upset with me please

⤷ yn shut up i don’t like you right now

oscarpiastri Thank you! 🥰❤️

⤷ nicolepiastri I didn’t even get a thank you that sweet Oscar

⤷ oscarpiastri Mommmmmmmm

francolapinto i miss you mami

⤷ yn i miss you too franco

charles_leclerc I think you should fly back to Monaco with me I need some consoling after that race you know? 😢😢

⤷ yn awhh poor baby come pick me up

⤷ charles_leclerc omw mon cœur

⤷ carlossainz55 No???

⤷ yn fuck out my face you cunt

⤷ yn take my stuff back with you too

⤷ carlossainz55 Guess I’m the butler now

⤷ yn obviously. don’t scratch my suitcase either or i’ll punch you in the throat

⤷ carlossainz55 Okay gyash 💔

maxverstappen1 Should’ve been in my garage

⤷ yn i was in your garage in china though

⤷ maxverstappen1 I just miss you schat

⤷ yn i miss you too maxie

⤷ redbullracing he’s giggling rn

lewishamilton Hey I had a bad race too

⤷ yn yeah but you took my brothers seat so…☹️

⤷ lewishamilton I’ll give it back I’ll drive the Williams

⤷ scuderiaferrari No??

⤷ lewishamilton Such a cockblock 😒

🝮

lando

liked by oscarpiastri and 1,455,163 others

lando just ate sushi no biggie

yn good boyyyyy

⤷ lando my pants were JUST on

⤷ carlossainz55 No i’m sorry bug you have to find someone else lando has too big of a playboy reputation. Sorry lando.

⤷ lando oh but when she does it it’s okay?

⤷ yn what are you trying to say?? cause i’ve never done anything with any of the drivers. i think i’ve kissed charles twice

⤷ charles_leclerc thrice…and it was amazing

⤷ lando nothing you’re perfect babylove you can do wrong cause you’re so perfect and beautiful and amazing and smart and kind and funny

⤷ yn yeah that’s what i thought

maxverstappen1 Fuck you’re beautiful

⤷ yn aw thanks maxie 🥰

⤷ maxverstappen1 of course baby

⤷ alex_albon looks like max is going up in the lineup

⤷ danielricciardo wait tell me who’s winning wtf

⤷ alex_albon 1. charles 2. lando 3. max 4. lewis 5. franco

⤷ charles_leclerc fuck yeah

⤷ lando how am i not number 1 i just ate fucking sushi for her

⤷ francolapinto fuck me than damn

olliebearman bro ate an ice cream sundae while lando was conquering his biggest fear

⤷ lando hey don’t make her sound bad i loved it so much i didn’t even gag. breathing exercises work guys

charles_leclerc 😾 she likes me more

⤷ lando and what makes you think that?

⤷ charles_leclerc we’ve literally kissed thrice. THAT MEANS SOMETHING. and, she hangouts with my family so

⤷ lando oh yeah? she hangouts with my family too and me and her dad go golfing together SO HA

⤷ charles_leclerc oh yeah? really? me, her, her mom, and her sisters went out to brunch in spain last year SO HAHA I WIN

⤷ lando FAWK

⤷ yn guys…no…stop...seriously

⤷ lando whatever you say babylove

⤷ charles_leclerc whatever you say mon cœur

🝮

yn

liked by badgalriri and 1,785,302 others

yn 🍉🍓🍒

charles_leclerc so radiant 😍 let’s kiss 🌹

⤷ yn no ❤️

⤷ charles_leclerc aw man 💔

lilymhe My beautiful babe 😩😍😍

iamrebeccad The most gorgeous girl 😍😍😍❤️

francisca.cgomes oh girl i’ll be stealing that dress 🥰 you look so sexy 🫦🫦

⤷ yn omg i’m blushing

oscarpiastri 😍

⤷ carlossainz55 Oscar?

⤷ charles_leclerc wtf oscar you’re my son

⤷ lando my own teammate? 💔💔💔

⤷ maxverstappen1 Oscar I’ll push lando off the track in bahrain if you cut all contact with y/n…promise

⤷ francolapinto b-but you said you’d learn spanish for me… was that a lie??? a disguise?

⤷ pierregasly yoooooo get in there oscar

⤷ lewishamilton 😐

oscarpiastri Very pretty

⤷ yn thank you oscariño 🥰🥰

⤷ georgerussell63 Oh! Just in we have a new man in competition for y/n’s heart, things just got crazy. Who will get the final rose? Stay tuned

⤷ charles_leclerc fuck my life

⤷ lando naurrr don’t do this to me

⤷ lewishamilton i’m literally richer than him

⤷ francolapinto AGHGDHEJSJDNENS

⤷ maxverstappen1 Guys, she’s obviously gonna choose me. Just back out now

⤷ charles_leclerc fuh nah i have the best chance out of everyone else we’re literally neighbors

⤷ lando ok and i go on her family vacations??

⤷ francolapinto yk what, i quit

⤷ lewishamilton me too 💔🥀

⤷ georgerussell63 JUST IN FRANCO COLAPINTO AND LEWIS HAMILTON ARE DROPPING OUT OF THE COMPETITION FOR Y/N’S HEART

⤷ kimi.antonelli touch grass

⤷ georgerussell63 You cannot be talking rn

⤷ kimi.antonelli you right you right

🝮

yn

liked by nicolepiastri and 1,890,502 others

yn p1 for oscariño, p3 for lan, dnf for carlitos (you’ve been a bad boy yuki), 7/10

carlossainz55 At least you still have my back when you’re mad at me

⤷ yn yeah now can you bring me a shirley temple

⤷ carlossainz55 Making it now 😒

oscarpiastri Maybe you were my good luck charm, you should hangout in my garage more

⤷ lando 😾😾

charles_leclerc You looked so beautiful in the paddock mon cœur ❤️

⤷ yn awh thanks charlie 🥰

lando why did oscar get cute pictures and i got the one where i wasn’t paying attention

⤷ yn well why wasn’t your attention on me???

⤷ lando please don’t guilt trip me right now i’ll cry

⤷ yn whatever get me sushi

⤷ lando going right now

⤷ georgerussell63 Thoughtless obedience, I love to see it

⤷ lando frick off

nicolepiastri I can’t believe you got Oscar to pose for a picture so easily, and with such a big smile too! 😂

⤷ oscarpiastri Mom, please.

⤷ maxverstappen1 Okay I didn’t push lando off the track but you still won!!

⤷ yn ???

⤷ maxverstappen1 I quit, I’m going out tonight

⤷ yn stay safe maxie 😊

⤷ maxverstappen1 Always schat

⤷ alex_albon wait i’m gonna cry that was so 🥲

⤷ georgerussell63 With a bittersweet goodbye, Max Verstappen drops out of the competition leaving Lando, Charles, and Oscar. We’ll be back next week folks.

🝮

oscarpiastri

liked by iamrebeccad and 1,615,243 others

oscarpiastri She said she knew a spot

yn do you like my fab oscar???

⤷ oscarpiastri What’s that?

⤷ lando i like it babylove

⤷ oscarpiastri What’s a fab?

⤷ charles_leclerc I love it mon cœur

⤷ oscarpiastri WHAT IS A FAB??????

⤷ yn fuck ass bob 😾

⤷ oscarpiastri Oh yes I love your fab honey!

⤷ charles_leclerc HONEY??? WERE LOSING HER LANDO

⤷ lando can’t we just be a throuple + one? ☹️

reyesvdec So cute! ❤️

♥︎ by author

georgerussell63 In the city of love? 👀

yn i love traveling with you oscar

⤷ oscarpiastri I love traveling with you too honey

lando friends, family, fans, it is with great sorrow that i admit that i, lando norris, drop out of this competition. i will be going out tonight

⤷ yn stay safe lan 🥰

⤷ lando always babylove. i’ll always cherish our time we spent together

⤷ yn we’ll always have miami

⤷ lando always

⤷ yn so i’ll see you in a few days at dinner with my family right?

⤷ lando of course

⤷ georgerussell63 And then there were two, the competition dwindles down to Charles and Oscar after Lando surprisingly drops out of the competition with a heartfelt goodbye just a few days after Max dropped out. They’ll always have Miami, see you soon folks.

🝮

yn

liked by francisca.cgomes and 1,185,907 others

yn kinda nervous

carlossainz55 Dafuq 🤨

oscarpiastri ❤️

⤷ carlossainz55 DAFUQ

⤷ charles_leclerc DAFUQ

⤷ charles_leclerc no mi mon cœur

⤷ lando dis gur

nicolepiastri 🥰🥰❤️

alex_albon i smell someone else dropping out of the competition 👁️👁️

olliebearman first date kinda nervyy

⤷ carlossainz55 Ollie don’t make me call Charles.

⤷ olliebearman Party pooper.

charles_leclerc Ladies, with gentle hands…I come to this comment section today to announce that I will be dropping out of the competition, it’s been a great few years and we’ve shared many great moments together but it’s time, I quit. Catch me at the club tonight.

⤷ yn stay safe charlie ☺️

⤷ charles_leclerc always mon cœur

⤷ yn i’ll always remember us sneaking off in the middle of the night and just talking

⤷ charles_leclerc i would listen to you for hours mon cœur

⤷ carlossainz55 Oh so you’re a slut.

⤷ georgerussell63 And with that, we’re left with the last one standing, the one who joined last, the one who no one thought would win, the one that stole the heart of y/n. We have the winner of the competition, the man, the myth, the one who gets the final rose, Oscar Piastri. What a ride that was, thanks for following along folks.

🝮

oscarpiastri

liked by charles_leclerc and 2,704,186 others

oscarpiastri my honey 💛

yn my babyyyy 🩷🩷🩷🩷

danielricciardo Aussie’s on top

⤷ yn oh he’s on top alright

⤷ carlossainz55 DAFUQ

⤷ yn jkjk (not jk)

⤷ carlossainz55 STOP

⤷ charles_leclerc Oh I know Oscar is never bored

iamrebeccad the sainz effect is real

yn you’re so sweet i wish australians were real

⤷ oscarpiastri ???

pierregasly What a love story, i’m getting emotional I just need a minute 🥹

kimi.antonelli HAHAHA OLLIE OWES ME 5 THOUSAND DOLLARS AHAHAHAHAHAH

⤷ olliebearman darn it 😒

⤷ yn wtf??

⤷ olliebearman i had my bet on charles

⤷ pierregasly Me too I thought those bitches we’re getting married. So happy for Osc though this is so sweet 🥹

⤷ olliebearman let’s get you back to bed grandpa

georgerussell63 The last man standing, thanks for following along this crazy love story folks. ❤️

[stellrn]

Stelle is only flustered by Trash cans, but okay.

Try to fluster my muse in the asks, and will rate your attempt

[butchlifeguard]

im being a useless lesbian tn or as close as i can get while being still bisexual

[miedei]

nonexistent rizz

the team is shocked to see that… early seasons!spencer pulls?? and he has pulled???? (aka, the team discovers that early seasons!spence has a girlfriend)

a/n: first cm fic!!! super indulgent, deffo way longer than it had to be but I don’t care, I love love love the dynamic of the s1/s2 team and I NEEDED to write it (look at '#mystery girl!au' on my blog to see more musings about them <3)

cw: alcohol consumption, reader referred to as a woman, reader is around spencer’s age in s1/s2 (23-24), completely inaccurate early 2000s technology i think, cuties being cute, not edited in any way

wc: 2k

part two | part three | mlist

(reblogs are the only way to promote fics on tumblr! please reblog if you enjoyed it :) )

“‘O Keefe’s! My wonderful, wonderful sweethearts, we are going out!” The moment the team steps out of the elevator, Penelope is bombarding them, hands moving wildly as words seem to tumble out of her mouth. “And yes, Hotch, I am sure we have no cases lined up yet, and yes, I’m sure JJ can corroborate that the moment she gets to her office and no, you may not stay behind, tonight is compulsory. That stands for you too, Gideon!”

Hotch hasn’t even opened his mouth, shaking his head in defeat as he takes in Garcia’s determined face. Under the watchful eyes of the team, his shoulders slump, a tired hand scrubbing down his face. “Fine. We all have to finish our reports, but if we’re all done in half an hour, we can go. Gideon?” He turns his face, hoping for Gideon to find a way to bunk off, but there’s a glint of amusement in the older man’s eye. “Sounds like there’s no getting out of it.” With that, he walks off, to his office. 

Penelope whoops excitedly, “Okay! That means we’re all going! That’s the first time since Gideon came back,” but her face sets slightly when she meets Spencer’s eye. “No. No, Baby Genius, you will not do this to me,”

“Garcia, I have pl-” “No! You are coming out with us, and we’re going to have a great time, and whatever Russian indie film you were going to watch will still be there for you tomorrow. Okay? No more complaining, baby, you know I won’t listen.” With a pat on his shoulder, she flounces off. Defeated, he doesn’t move from the elevator area, shrugging helplessly when Elle, JJ and Morgan brush past him to the bullpen. 

With a sigh, he takes out his phone, pressing his newly-programmed speed dial and bringing the phone to his ear. From Derek’s vantage point in the bullpen, he can see Spencer, pacing back and forth in front of the elevator doors, and he can see the moment whoever is on the other side picks up. The younger man’s face lights up, like when he’s on the receiving end of a rare Hotch smile out in the field, but more spirited, buoyant. Only snippets of the conversation float in through the slightly-ajar glass doors, but they’re enough to give him pause, and still his fingers above his keyboard.

“...Garcia’s got this plan for us all, and…”

“Yes, I know, I do like going out with them, but that’s not what I wanted to do…”

“...I took the metro tonight, so I think I’ll just… Really? You want to?”

At that point, Spencer turns, his voice muffling, and keeping Derek from his vested interest in his conversation. But what little he heard is more than enough to pique his interest. He flicks a pencil onto Elle’s desk. “Greenaway. You know if pretty boy’s mom is in town or something?” Elle looks up from her monitor, head tilting, “Not that I know of. Besides, doesn’t she not like flying? I don’t think he’d have her come here. Why do you ask?”

Derek doesn’t reply, simply gesturing to the glass doors, where Spencer is walking inside, his mouth twitching to conceal his smile. His steps are measured, like he’s trying to feign calm. He settles at his desk, hunching his back in a way that can’t be comfortable, typing rapidly as his knee jiggles up and down. Elle turns back to Derek, eyes wide with wonder. 

“That is not how you look getting off the phone with your mother.”

The incident is quickly forgotten, however, when the BAU team are crammed into a booth in the back of the low-lit bar. Penelope has roped Hotch into helping her bring drinks back from the bar, and the rest are speaking a little too loudly, arms flinging and bumping into the empty glasses littering the table. 

All except for Gideon, who, despite having had three glasses of whiskey, is still just as calm and observant as he is fully sober. It is this that causes him to zero in on Spencer, sitting across from him, sandwiched between Morgan and the newly-returned Garcia. 

There’s a pink flush across his high cheekbones, and he’s incredibly giggly, all things that are completely expected for him, a few drinks in. However, what the experienced profiler picks up on, are his darting eyes. Spencer can often be found staring into the middle distance, or, since Gideon taught him the importance of building rapport with victims and officers alike, trained steadily on the space between someone’s eyebrows, but this time it’s different.

His eyes flick to whoever’s talking, feigning interest, but every few seconds, it turns back down to his lap, where something is clutched in the hand he keeps under the table. If it were Hotch, Gideon would know with absolute certainty that he was watching his phone, waiting for a text from Haley.

But this is Spencer. The youngest person he knows. The youngest person he knows whose technological knowledge is somehow worse than Gideon’s own. What on earth would have Spencer acting- 

Oh. Gideon nearly gasps at Spencer’s movements. On his fifteenth peek down at his lap, Spencer stiffens, then draws his hand up from his lap to get closer to his face. It is his phone, and Spencer Reid has somehow learned to text as quickly as Morgan does. His thumbs fly over the buttons on his phone, and he can’t hold back the smile that spreads on his face.

Gideon’s eyes furrow, and he can’t hold back from nudging Hotch’s shoulder, pointing in Spencer’s direction. Hotch pulls himself away from his conversation with JJ, and Gideon can see his expression morph from mild interest, to confusion, to complete bewilderment. After a beat, his face turns to meet Gideon’s and his normally stoic demeanor is shaken, eyes wide. 

Spencer, however, doesn’t even notice his mentors’ faces, still tapping away at his phone and craning his neck to look around the bar. 

It’s a while later, when JJ has pulled the team (minus Hotch and Gideon) onto the dance floor, a few drinks past tipsy at this point. She’s laughing out loud, holding Elle’s hand and twirling her under her arm. Penelope and Derek are mock-waltzing, bursting into laughter every few steps, and Spencer… 

JJ pauses for a moment, before Elle pulls her into moving again. Her head whips around, trying to find Spencer, before giving up. He must be back at the table with Hotch and Gideon, he was never very comfortable dancing anyway. 

The four on the dance floor quickly devolve into a mess, swapping partners until they’re all dizzy and laughing. JJ and Penelope are shimmying back and forth together, when Penelope gasps a little, tapping JJ’s arm without ceasing her movements. “Jayj! Look, see that girl at the bar?” She gestures subtly at a younger woman, probably in her early twenties, wearing a purple wrap top that has JJ sighing wistfully. 

“Pen, I think I’ve seen my soulmate. Would it be weird for me to crawl over there and beg her for her shirt?” Penelope giggles, gripping JJ’s forearms so they can sway to the music dramatically. “Just a little, my sweet. How about we go ask her where it’s from, though? I think that would be a little more…” She goes uncharacteristically silent, and it has JJ twisting to see what shut her up. However, Penelope tightens her grip on her arms, keeping her from moving. 

“JJ. My love, my heart. You’ll always be honest with me, won’t you?” Now she’s worried. JJ nods quickly, deciding to just focus on Penelope. “Yeah, Garcia, of course. What’s wrong?”

“I think I’m seeing things, and you are one of the most qualified people in the world to tell me if I’m going crazy. I’m going to turn us around, and you’re going to look at the woman in that gorgeous top, and you are going to either scream, or send me off to Hotch for a psychological evaluation.” Her tone is serious, hushed, and JJ nods solemnly. 

The intricate plan is conducted, and JJ is now facing the bar, her eyes searching for the girl, when she stiffens, sucking in a breath. “Yes! I’m not crazy, you see it right? What is going on!” Penelope smacks her arm repeatedly, but JJ can’t tear her eyes away from it. It being something she couldn’t possibly have prepared herself for, not in her wildest imaginations.

The girl is sitting on a barstool, sipping at a cocktail, and chatting to… Spencer. Spencer, the BAU’s Spencer, child-prodigy-lovable-dork-awkward-mess Spencer Reid, is stood in between her legs, smiling down at Mystery Girl without a hint of fear. It’s devastatingly sweet, his eyes soft in a way she’s never seen before, as he nods along with whatever she’s saying. Penelope jolts her out of her trance with a tap to the arm, JJ whispering, “He’s so… carefree.” 

That’s the only way to describe it. He’s looking down at her, eyes locked onto hers, and he’s still. His hands aren’t tapping, his leg isn’t shaking. He’s just looking at her. 

JJ can feel Morgan and Elle huddle near her, questioning Penelope about what they’re looking at, before shutting up as they see it. She hears them take twin gasps, and huddle even closer. They stand in silence, surely a hindrance to the people dancing, but they can’t tear themselves away. 

It’s only when Spencer shatters their worlds once more that they finally find themselves able to move. Four pairs of eyes follow him, as he leans even further towards Mystery Girl, and they all bulge at once when he raises a hand, carding his fingers through her hair. Penelope whispers, “oh my god”, Elle grips JJ’s arm in a vice grip, and Derek makes an unseemly noise, before gripping their arms, tugging them back to the booth. 

They collapse in the seats, faces pale as they look at each other, next to a very confused Gideon and Hotch. 

“What? What is it?” Hotch questions them, brow furrowed deeply. None of them speak, however. Only Elle lifts a weak hand to point. She directs their attention to the sight at the bar, and they all turn back to it, gasping once again. They’re… “kissing,” Derek breathes, shocked. Hotch and Gideon stiffen, but still crane their heads until their eyes fall on what has rendered their highly trained team speechless. And their reactions are just as silent.

Mystery Girl has stood up, her arms around Spencer’s neck, and he’s leaned down to meet her lips, hands braced on her hips. It’s honestly not that scandalous, a lazy, casual kiss that they part from with twin smiles, but the FBI agents can’t handle it. They don’t say a word, straining their ears to hear whatever she is saying as he holds her hand (Penelope lets out a squeak at that), and walks with her towards the door, not even noticing that his coworkers have returned to the booth. Her voice is low, but Hotch manages to pick up a few of the words. 

“...go home and watch that movie I was telling you about? Metropolis, I think you’ll really…” And they’re off. Spencer Reid has left a bar, holding hands with a girl (that he’s apparently spoken to multiple times? Who refers to a place as home for both of them?), acting like it’s the most normal thing in the world. 

The group sits in silence, unable to muster a comment, when Penelope’s phone buzzes. She checks it, and silently turns the screen over so they can all read it. 

BOY GENIUS: Hey Garcia. I wasn’t feeling well so I decided to go home. See you Monday :-)

“What?”

[usagimygoatfr]

the staff?! - lara raj x reader

synposis: lara raj found down bad for a staff

☆ミ fluff, crack, down bad lara

wc: 1.7k

"you have got to be kidding me." lara groans, her bodypack transmitter wasn't picking up her voice for the fourth time in the span of an hour. yoonchae, the ever so observant maknae, sees lara fumbling with her bodypack transmitter for what felt like the hundredth time during soundcheck for gnarly.

the girls sat down on the empty stage. manon and daniela were taking selfies, while yoonchae and megan were bickering about what they should have for dinner.

while the girls were occupied with what they were doing, sophia walks back with a staff. "lara, can you stand up for a sec?" sophia asks. before lara could move an inch, a voice intercepts, "no, it's fine. please stay seated, i'll be quick."

lara's eyes meets the staff's kind eyes, her breathing hitching as she does. "hi, i'll be fixing your bodypack transmitter." she says, offering lara a smile. she kneels down behind lara, the warmth of her body enveloping lara like a hug. lara can smell the perfume that you're wearing from the proximity, and it was making her heart beat faster no energy drink could ever surpass.

lara feels you fumbling with the transmitter, but your touch was gentle. the way you angle your fingers were deliberate, as if you were scared of making her uncomfortable if you accidentally touched her exposed skin because of what she's wearing. she was in a dazed that she didn't hear what you said.

"w-what?" her stuttered words echoing throughout the empty arena. oh she knows she's getting teased later with the amount of stares she's feeling on her.

you smiled, "i see your mic is working now."

oh god, kill her now.

"so..."

"don't start."

"..."

"manon, i swear to god if you don't shut your mouth i will kill you in your sleep." lara threatens, her piercing eyes finding manon's teasing ones. manon raises her hands, "what? i was simply going to ask what you wanted for dinner." she says, like fuck she is. "like hell you are. just get it out while they're not here." lara sighs in defeat. she knew this was a losing battle so why fight it?

"okay, first of, stuttering in the big 2025? the rizz is not rizzing, miss rising global popstar sensation. second, a staff? our manager would kick your ass when she hears this, i'm calling it."

"okay, calm down. our manager has no reason to kick my ass because i was simply..." lara pauses, trying to find the words that could possibly make her situation a little less sticky.

"simply what?" manon teases.

"tired! do you have any idea how many times i had to adjust my transmitter because it wasn't picking up my voice? more times than i should've." oh she was quick with it, "i was just relieved that she fixed it. the performance went smoothly and i couldn't have been more thankful."

manon raises her eyebrow, "sure, let's go with that. i think our manager just might let this one pass."

lara exhales a breath she was holding, "it's the truth!"

manon laughs, dusting off nonexistent dust off her pants as she stands from the couch and walking towards her room. "i would so stutter in front of a pretty girl too, lara raj!"

a week has passed after the 'staff x lara' incident as the girls call it.

they were in the dance practice room, on queue to film the dance practice for their new song gabriela. sophia and yoonchae were doing some warm-ups, while manon, megan, and daniela were goofing off. lara is sitting near the camera equipment having her touch up. she was on her phone scrolling on instagram when she smells the same perfume she smelled last week. the one that made her stutter in front of her members.

lara nearly whipped her head at the direction where the scent was coming from but she stopped herself. her eyes zeroing at her members. from where she is, they won't be able to see what she's up to thanks to the lights in front of them. a quick peek wouldn't hurt, right?

and as if the gods where on her favour today, her makeup artist made her face the left to work on her eyeliner and eyeshadow. her eyes immediately locking in to the person that's been occupying her mind for the past week. the person who's the reason of the endless teasing and the sudden nickname change in their group chat. from 'rising global popstar sensation' to 'miss stuttering mess' real quick.

y/n y/l/n.

lara will be damned if she says you're not her type. beautiful, caring, sweet gentle voice, great with your hands, maybe has no clue that she exists, and an alluring aura. what else could she need?

maybe the balls to ask you out? but she doesn't have balls! and lara will also be damned if she's the one who asks someone out. she's the lara raj for crying out loud. people will literally kill for her number, but you? you're not even aware that she's practically burning a hole in your head with how hard she's been staring at you, and you're here fiddling with the equipment like she's not a few feet away! oh, you are so her type.

"and we're done." her make-up artists says, breaking her out of her trance. lara blinks, begrudgingly peeling her eyes aware from you.

the dance practice went smoothly. they did a few more takes just in case and after they were done, the girls have the rest of the day off.

"guys, can we please have sushi? i want to try out the new sushi place that opened last week. the reviews said they have really good california maki rolls." megan pleas to the group. the girls gave each other a look to see if they were down, "oh, come on! please, guys." megan whines, "lara! if you agree i'll help you get y/n's number."

lara's eyes almost popped out of her head when she heard megan's deal, "sure!" she coughs, "i mean, i have been eyeing that place for a while now. we should go." she says, her voice a lot more calmer compared to her first statement.

megan cartoonishly pumps her fists in the air in celebration.

"sophia, help me!" megan shouts from their her shared room lara, followed up with a loud bang. "sophia, please!"

sophia, always used to such chaos, lazily gets up from the couch, "what, megan?" she shouts. "lara is trying to kill me!"

sophia rolls her eyes, opening the lara and megan's door. "okay, that's enough. yoonchae is asleep and you two are so loud– lara put that vase down!"

megan dashes towards sophia and hides behind her back. "what the hell is happening to you two?" sophia asks.

"that bitch lied to me!" lara snarls, still holding the vase menacingly.

"no, i did not! i said i'll help! i never said i have her number. our manager said you should ask her instead!" megan protests.

"exactly! you said you'll help me, not let me fend for myself!" lara argues, putting the vase back to megan's side of the room.

sophia rubs her temples, feeling her age drastically increasing from being the peacemaker of the group. "alright, everyone calm down. lara, we'll be shooting from seven am to 5 pm tomorrow. why don't you take that time and ask y/n for her number?" she offers.

lara sighs, "fine. this isn't over, skiendiel."

megan audibly gulps, "can i sleep in your room tonight, fia?"

a sighs breaks out from sophia's lips, "go get your pillow."

tomorrow comes around and lara is all dolled up per usual. the studio was filled with staff and directors preparing for the shoot. the six chairs in the center had their names in it.

the girls sat on their respective seats. lara's eyes were trying to find where y/n could be. there were so many staff behind the camera that it made her dizzy from all the movement; so much so that she didn't realize that y/n was behind them, removing the paper that had their names on the chair.

"excuse me, lara. i need to take this off."

lara's eyes widened at the voice, she craned her head so fast she nearly gave herself whiplash. "yes!" was all she said, leaning forward so y/n can take the paper off. that earned a cackle from the girls, making lara nearly fall off her seat from embarrassment.

--

after the shoot, lara nearly dashed out of the building. she made a fool of herself in front of you twice! oh lord, she doesn't have any face to show anymore. she was walking so fast she bumped into someone, sending her butt on the floor.

"shit! i am so sorry, lara." y/n scrambles to her feet, offering you a hand.

"n-no, i wasn't looking where i was going. i am so sorry, y/n." lara replies quick, grabbing your hand to leverage herself.

the mess from the collision were everywhere. the papers y/n was holding was drenched in lara's water. lara's eyes widened at the sight. "oh my god! i ruined your... your..." truth be told, lara had zero clue what she ruined. it could be contracts, it could be scripts, hell, it could be the lyrics to their new EP for all she knew.

y/n's chuckle broke her out of her panicking inner monolog, "it's fine. those are just timetables your manager needed a copy of. i have the file with me."

lara sighs, thankful that it wasn't important. "still, i wasn't looking where i was going and look what happened. what can i do to make up for all these." she motions at the puddle of papers.

"you could give me your number."

lara's eyes widened, "my what?"

"your number." y/n repeats. "i-i mean, only if it's okay! i didn't mean to make it sound like you have no choice and you should give me your number even if you don't want to–" and you're a loser too? oh you are so her type. lara grabs your hand, stopping you from rambling.

"do you like matcha?"

an: chat, i lowkey zoned out whilst writing this. also, is it obvious that lara's 'yes!' is stuck in my head?

[bbydoll18xx]

She's Such a Good Girl

You move in across the hall from Paige Bueckers. It doesn’t take long before she tries to shatter your innocent persona. And you just let her. 

Paige Bueckers x reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Themes: reader is a shy lil baby, a few inappropriate thoughts, paige being a huge flirt

Masterlist

A/N: hiii cuties! So I had a few ideas I've been toying around with, so I merged them together and came up with this. Also the third part of 'I Can Do It With a Broken Heart' will hopefully be out soon but I'm still trying to figure out the direction I want to take it in. Enjoy!

~

Your breaths are ragged as you lug your final suitcase through the front door of your new apartment. It was your senior year at UCONN, and you and your roommates had been assigned a new apartment, which you were ecstatic about. Long gone were the days of being squished into an old dorm room. And you were very excited about the lack of noise, which had kept you from your much needed 10 hours of sleep the past few years. 

The August heat was stifling, but you welcomed the cool air coming through the vents, as you began organizing your new bedroom to perfection. Eagerness bubbled in your chest as you thought about your upcoming year before graduation. You’d finally be free. 

College was supposed to be the time to find yourself before being inevitably dragged into the cruel pits of the real world. It was the time to go wild, get drunk often, and maybe even meet the love of your life. But you had spent your weekends studying and fine tuning the ‘good girl’ persona that you had adopted when you were a child. 

You were the eldest daughter with a raging people pleasing complex, and it was starting to feel like your downfall. Your two roommates had found adoring boyfriends, and they often found themselves drunk as hell on the weekends, reveling in being young and carefree. You were growing to hate your crippling shyness.

You’d be lying if you said your lack of experience hadn’t started to weigh on you. You really wanted to learn how to put yourself out there. But you were dreadfully shy, and the idea of dating or hooking up was terrifying. Your innocence was fucking embarrassing. How would you explain to someone that you were a virgin? And what if they thought you were too timid to be good in bed?

So you just continued on as you had been throughout college; you studied, and you buried yourself in your imagination, and you prayed and hoped that someone would be willing to overlook all of your own insecurities. 

Your thoughts of pity are interrupted by your two roommates calling your name. You walk out of your bedroom into the living room where the two girls are sharing shiteating grins, and you send them a questioning look.

“You’ll never guess who is across the hall from us,” Sarah says slyly, causing a pang of worry to shoot through your chest. The smirk on her face grew as you asked who it was.

“Paige Bueckers,” your other roommate, Taylor, shrieks as your face turns bright red.

Fuck. 

“You’re fucking joking, right?” You whisper, eyes automatically flitting towards your door. 

“Nope! I saw her and Aubrey Griffin walk out of the apartment literally five minutes ago,” Taylor announces, laughing as you fall backwards onto the couch.

“This is not good,” you whine dramatically, hands covering your face. 

“Now you can see her pretty face every day,” Sarah all but sings, taking great pleasure in how uncomfortable you felt.

You scoff in indignation. “I can see her pretty face every day from the safety and comfort of my phone. It’s not like I’m actually ever going to talk to her.”

Your roommates pout at your sheer stubbornness. They had been trying to get you out of your shell from the last few years, much to your displeasure. 

“C’mon, you’re so hot. You could totally catch Paige’s eye. You gotta have more confidence, girl,” Taylor all but whines exasperatedly. 

“Yeah, sure,” you snort derisively. “Maybe while I’m at it, I can rizz up Harry Styles.” You roll your eyes at their ridiculousness.

They sigh in unison, stopping their pleading.

“We’ll just have to see what happens,” Taylor says with a dramatic wink, causing you to stick out your tongue childishly. 

“I have spent the last three years avoiding Paige Bueckers’ beauty. I can do it one more year.”

Little did you know, though, that it would become quite hard to avoid the tall blonde.

~

Friday evening rolls around quickly, and because it was the last weekend before classes started, the students were eager to party it up. You had hoped the apartment building would be quiet, empty from the throngs of students out partying elsewhere. But the girls of the basketball team had other ideas.

The last few days, you had seen multiple girls coming and going from Paige’s apartment. The noise had been loud, but nothing too crazy. It was well known that the girls often went live on tiktok or instagram, and you had heard their laughter across the hall last night. So far, though, the volume levels had maintained a respectable level. 

You had obviously jinxed yourself by thinking that, as the laughter and music pounded through your own walls. The cacophonous sound sent you spiraling. If you wanted them to be quieter, you would have to go ask them to turn it down, and you hated confrontation.

But you were alone tonight, and if you wanted to go to sleep at a decent hour, that was your only option. 

You move in front of the mirror in your bathroom, subconsciously fixing your hair and muttering words of encouragement to yourself. You could do this. Paige is just a regular person. Sure, she was ridiculously attractive, but she was just a girl.

You walk out of the apartment into the hallway, your heart pounding dangerously as you near the door. The volume was insane, and you felt momentarily sad that you were wasting your Friday night alone at home, while everyone was having the time of their lives. 

You shake your head, internally chastising yourself for the brutal thoughts, and with all the courage you could muster up, you knock loudly on the door, hoping the basketball team could hear it through the noise. 

A few moments pass, and you momentarily think you’re about to pass out before the door opens and you are met with the glorious face of Paige fucking Bueckers. 

You gulp, immediately grabbing a lock of hair to play with, desperately attempting to mask your anxiety. You bite your lip and look up at her.

“H-hi,” you stutter, feeling the blush bloom in your cheeks. “I’m so sorry to bother you guys, but the music is a little loud.”

Paige's face morphs into a look of surprise. “Oh shit. I’m sorry. I told KK to turn it down, but no one listens to me around here,” she jokes. “You live across the hall, right? I’m Paige!”

Her friendliness doesn’t necessarily shock you; she was well known for being a genuinely kind person around campus, but the fact that she knew who you were does shock you.

“Uh, yeah I do.” You introduce yourself with a shy smile, growing warmer under her gaze.

“Why don’t you come hang with us?” She prods, gesturing towards the living room with a large grin on her beautiful fucking face. 

Your carefully crafted plan to forget about Paige this year was crumbling around you. And before you could even begin to thinking about stopping yourself, you shyly accept her invitation.

There was no going back now. 

Paige ushers you in, leading you into the chaos, where most of the basketball team were enthralled in making tiktoks. 

As you walk in and stand next to Paige, you look around, all but staring at the tall girls. The whole basketball team was ridiculously attractive, and it made your shyness increase tenfold. Paige gets their attention, and their eyes turn to you as Paige introduces you. 

“She just moved in across the hall. And I told you the music was too loud, KK,” Paige adds, sending a sharp look towards the younger girl. 

She grins mischievously, walking up to you with the swagger you could only dream of having. 

“Sorry, girly pop, we’ll keep it down next time,” KK says, sending you a wink. You giggle in response, feeling more at ease already. 

Paige introduces you to the rest of the team. They’re all so friendly, and your nervous demeanor slowly melts away as you acclimate to their boisterousness. They take turns talking to you, but Paige stays beside you, never being more than an arms length away. 

You weren’t going to read into it. But the little voice in your head was screaming in both apprehension and glee. In the same way, you did not want to leave her side. In an insanely short amount of time, her presence had become a comfort to you, and you weren’t quite ready to give that up yet. So despite it being well past your respectable bedtime, you powered through, Paige’s aura energizing you. 

As you mused over your thoughts, Paige was stuck in her own head. She had seen you around campus before; your pretty face was a difficult one to forget, and she was secretly delighted when she had opened her door to reveal your timid face. 

She was determined to break you out of your shell. Little did she know how much she would. 

~

You look down at your phone a while later, and you’re shocked to see that it was just past midnight. You could not remember the last time you were out that late, and a yawn threatens to escape from the depths of your throat. You subtly rub at your eyes, and Paige doesn’t miss it. 

She nudges you, and you look up to gaze at her bright blue eyes.

God, she was so pretty. 

“You sleepy?” She asks teasingly, and you nod, a blush creeping up your neck again. 

“I’m not used to staying up this late. I should probably head back home,” you say, regret lacing your words. 

Paige nods, standing up to walk you out to the door. You don’t miss how her hand grazes your waist as she guides you. 

You wave goodbye to the girls who still remained, and they enthusiastically bid you a goodnight, making you promise to join them again soon. 

“Thanks for letting me crash,” you profess, heart still pounding dangerously from the subtle touches, tingles on your waist left in her wake. 

“Course,” she shrugs, a smirk on her face. She hands you her phone. “Let me know if we’re too loud again,” she whispers, leaning down to your ear. 

Her closeness has you flustered, and you quickly enter your contact information, avoiding the heat of her gaze. 

As you hand her cell phone back, her fingers brush across yours, and you subconsciously bite your lip to hold back a shaky breath from the view of her long fingers and her big, veiny hands. 

Fuck. 

The smirk doesn’t fade from Paige’s face as she notices you staring, and your face erupts in a vicious blush once more. . 

With a bashful wave and a smile, you leave, all but running back into your apartment. Your heart was pounding, and there was a slight ache down in your most intimate area that had you squirming in desire. 

Your little crush on Paige had been unrelenting the last few years, but it was still just casual. Things had changed, though, and now your feelings were undeniable. Long gone were the days of ignoring your sexuality.

Paige was so hot. And you were so screwed. 

~

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Please, please, please let me know what you think and if you want another part (or more)! Again, thanks for all the love and support!

xoxo katy

[meowzfordayz]

revealing outfit prank — hashira men

Author’s Note: borderline 18+NSFW, but ~mostly just suggestive. 😉

revealing outfit prank — hashira men

Himejima Gyomei x Reader, Iguro Obanai x Reader, Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader, Tomioka Giyuu x Reader, Uzui Tengen x Reader

Word Count: ~2,000

CW: explicit language, Fem!Reader, mild sexual content

Suggestion Fulfilled: You know those girlfriend pranks on YouTube where the girl wears a sexy/revealing outfit to out in? Can I have HCs of our Hashira with a S/O who tries to walk out in such an outfit? Of course, they respect her choice in wearing whatever she wants, but that outfit is too tempting...

~faqs~

“Hey babe, guess what I’m wearing!”

“Clothes…” 

—I mean, he’s not wrong 🙃

You huff, “Guess again.”

Gyomei pauses, wracking his brain for whatever else you could have on

“... not, clothes?” 🤨

“Well I’m not going out to dinner naked!”

“A cardboard box?” 😅

You can see his brow furrowing

He’s trying his best! 🥺

“So remember that slip dress I was describing for you a while ago?” 😏

His face warms as he recalls how you’d painted quite the picture of dainty ribbon details, an open back, and a satin hem that would barely brush past your thighs

He clears his throat, voice lower than before, “I remember that I encouraged you to buy it.”

He freezes, eyes widening, gaze focusing in the direction of your soft breaths, “You’re wearing it?!!!”

You giggle, he gulps

You can hear his inward groan 😩

“Isn’t it exciting?!” you squeal, stepping toward him, playful palms splaying across his chest as you grin up at his restrained expression, “I feel so pretty!” 😌

“You are so pretty,” he nearly growls, large hands settling promptly on your hips, “Maybe we shouldn’t go out after all.”

“Oh?” 👀

He chuckles as his fingers caress the silky, smooth fabric hugging your body, sensing the heat emanating from your bare, warm skin, eager to feel the curve and seduction of your spine, your shoulder blades, the tenderness of your nape

“I beg your pardon,” he rasps, an unfamiliar darkness in his tone as his fingers move upward to tug at your carefully tied spaghetti straps, tiny bows squished beneath the intensity of his touch, “I’m an adult, you know. I can have dessert for dinner.”

😳🥵🫠

—

“Gyomeeeiii!”

“My love?” ☺️

“I CAN’T POST THIS!” 😭😭😭

“And why not? Is my rizz too much for YouTube?”

“YES.” 😐

“You’re going out in that?” 🧐

You glare back, arms crossing over your chest

A not so subtle attempt to emphasize your tits 😌

Obanai not so subtly glances downward

“I repeat, in that?” 

“The hell is wrong with what I’m wearing?” you scowl haughtily, “I thought you’d like it!” 😞

Blinking in disbelief, Obanai rolls his eyes, amusement softening his judgmental expression 🙄

“I’m not a fucking idiot,” he grumbles, “Of course I love it,” glare returning as he points an accusing finger at you, “But the last time you went out in something like that you ended up stealing all of my layers because you got cold!”

“Well then wear more layers!” you quip cheekily

“That’s my line!” 😐

*sigh*

“Do you want me to change?” 😕

“Absolutely not!” he snaps, ears reddening even as he makes a disgruntled gesture, “But, please, grab a coat.”

“Are you fed up with me?” 🤗

You inch closer to him

His breath hitches

“No.”

“Are you suuure?”

You can hear his heartbeat now, can see the restraint in his hands as he keeps them firmly by his sides

“If we don’t leave soon, then I’ll show you how not fed up with you I am.” 🙃

You grin easily, lips grazing his earlobe as you murmur

“Obanai, I don’t think that was nearly as threatening as you hoped it was.”

He inhales sharply, stepping away from your sweet, sultry scent, feigning sullenness when he mutters

“Your tits are staring at me.” 😃

You laugh, bouncing on the balls of your feet just enough for them to jiggle slightly

“Or are you staring at my tits?” 😉

He audibly groans, head tilting backward as he averts his gaze

“I hate this.” 😒

—

Rest assured, you never make it to your reservation 🤫

The video never makes it to YouTube either

PornHub, however…

Jk, jk

And Obanai does not hate this 😏

“You are breathtaking!” Kyojuro declares, beaming with pride as you twirl for him

He’s doing his best to ignore the fact that he can see your lacey panties when you spin

“Thank you!” you smile, striking a pose for him, “I feel so amazing in this dress.”

“You are amazing in any dress!” 😁

He’s earnest with the perfect dash of seriousness — like he needs to know that you know you’re beautiful

A gentleman as always 🥺

You hesitate, feeling almost guilty as you ask slowly

“Am I only amazing?” 🤭

You hope you’re coming off coy and alluring 😅

For all of his awkwardness, Kyojuro is nothing if not straightforward

“You are also sexy! Most definitely sexy!” 😍

Your expression cracks, your giggling filling the hallway as endeared laughter accompanies you

“How sexy?” you wink, an exaggerated, playful flirtation

Fortunately, Kyojuro loves improv 😏

—Yes, and!

“The sexiest woman I have known, I know, and I will know.”

There he goes again

Earnest, serious, and almost unbearingly sweet 😭💘

“Kyo,” you persist, “I’m trying to seduce you.”

He grins at that, eyes narrowing so quickly you nearly miss the tantalizing glint that flashes through them

“Oh I am aware, sweetheart,” he purrs, gesturing with his index finger for you to twirl again

You do, oblivious to the way his jaw clenches, gaze thickens, your pretty, dainty panties on display for him once more

“Look at me,” he commands softly, relishing the dazed, dizzy, glowing color of your face, “Look at me, and tell me whether you have succeeded.”

You look

It’s impossible to miss his erection, straining against his pants, bulge teasing and beckoning you to come closer

—

You post the video, minus a sizeable chunk 😶

“So people are allowed to thirst over you, but not me?” ☹️

You snort as Kyojuro pouts, patting his arm consolingly, “You can’t really see anything when I’m spinning, but your dick is a little too obvious.”

He perks up at that, kissing your cheek with reassured confidence, “It is quite large.”

—Whatever makes him feel better, y’know 😆

—That being said, it is quite large 🫣

P.S. Kyojuro begs to differ; he can see plenty when you’re spinning 😃

Help this man 😵‍💫

He is TIRED 😮‍💨

—Don’t get me wrong!

Sanemi does his best to be a good sport 🥺

And he’s 1,000% watched your videos in “secret”, numerous times over; you are entertaining ☺️

On nights when you’re apart, he falls asleep to his Favorites list (which consists solely of you) on auto-play

But there’re just one (thousand) too many trends for him to keep up with, and he never knows when he’s going to be your ~victim again 🙃

“Is this another prank?” he sighs, only slightly exasperated as his eyes stray from your pretty mouth to your tits practically spilling from your top 🫣

“Oh, so now I can’t look nice without it being a prank?” you retort, scowling playfully, “Rude.” Raising his hands in mock defense, Sanemi smiles softly as you step closer to him

“You can touch me, y’know,” you murmur gently, “I’m not gonna break.”

Swallowing thickly, he lowers his arms, forearms hooking around your hips as he pulls you in

“Yeah,” he croaks, scanning the bedroom for wherever you might’ve hid your phone, desperation and desire bubbling in his throat, “But I’m not so sure about your outfit, it’s got so many strings and… and, holes.” 😃

You laugh cheerfully, squeezing his waist as you inform him, “They’re cutouts. They’re supposed to be sexy.” 😌

“They are,” he replies bluntly, stifling a long inhale as he willingly gives into his fate, “You are so fucking sexy.”

He’s already plucking at your shoulder straps, somehow boxing you in with his broad, chiseled body, even though it’s his back against the wall

“You’re not gonna ask me how I manage to avoid getting tangled?” you tease, your breasts pressed firm and warm into his chest as his heartbeat quickens

The question had occurred to him, but-

“Why the hell would I ask that when I could be untangling you instead?”

—

“Send me the video.” 😐

“Excuse me?”

You’re grinning

“Please.” 😞

He’s begging

You acquiesce, the thought of Sanemi jerking off to it later inspiring you to reach down again 😉

(Now imagine his faintly pained moan as you slowly caress him, valiantly hardening in your careful grip as he mentally prepares himself, this time intending to punish you; you can’t keep missing your reservations! 😤)

#the pranks are getting out of hand 😬

#but Sanemi can’t really find it in himself to be bothered 😶

#at least not when he’s already in something else 😏

“Why are you going out in that?” 🤨

“What are you implying?” you frown

“I asked first.”

You huff, “And your question offended me.” 😒

Grimacing, Giyuu glances downward, “I didn’t mean-”

“Do I look horrible?” ☹️

You almost feel badly, giggles brimming in your chest 🤭

“No.”

“Do I look too good?” 😌

You can practically see the gears turning in his head 

“Yes? No. Yes. Wait. I’m confused.” 🫠

“How does my outfit make you feel?” 😉

He pauses at that, swallowing nervously as you run teasing hands up your sides, accentuating your hips and bust

“I look good, right?” 🥺

“Of course.”

“Do I look too good?” 😏

*Giyuu Panic 2.0 activated*

“What does that mean?” 😭

He’s hushed, in awe of your luscious form, inhaling roughly when you step into his immediate proximity, the hem of your dress nearly brushing against his shins as you twirl for him

“Giyuu, am I turning you on?”

When in doubt, go for frankness

*Giyuu Panic 2.0 deactivated*

Ohhh 😳🙄😎 <— he gets it now

“Not at all,” he says smoothly, “You look quite comfortable.”

You pout, fingers curling into the collar of his shirt as you nudge his feet apart, slipping your leg between his thighs as you close the distance, your body pressing clumsy and hot against his

He sighs, a quiet, enraptured sound, delicately brushing the straps of your dress from your shoulders before he rasps, “I am turned on. Delightfully so.”

Your dress crumples sheer and light to the floor, Giyuu’s jaw ticking with desire as he realizes just how easily it slipped off

“And you,” he murmurs, delicious warning in his tone as he thumbs the undersides of your tits, “Are such a pretty slut.”

—

“Why is it that every time I try and prank you, you end up fucking me instead?” 🥲

“Hm,” Giyuu hums, voice thick with amusement, “Seems premeditated to me.” 🥴

“Giyuu-!” you sputter 🫣

“GiYuU!” he smirks 🙃

“Are you mocking me?” 😠

“And?” he grins 😎

“See if I ever prank you again!” 😤

“Oh you will,” he remarks, nonchalant and cool, “Judging by how many times we changed the sheets yesterday, I’m not even worried.” 😃

Ngl, Tengen’s a lil desensitized 😆

He’s got four wives

He knows you’re all hot af 😉

He knows he’s hot af 😎

There’s not much you can do to faze him

Except like, get injured or something, but that’s kinda the opposite of what you’re aiming for 🥴

“Does this mean we’re fucking after dinner?”

✨He has a way with words✨

“Tengen,” Hina scolds

“So vulgar!” Suma exclaims

“Don’t act so innocent when you’ve ambushed me looking like that,” Tengen mutters, pants already tightening as he takes in the silken fabric draped delicate and precarious over your breasts, “Who’s idea was this?”

“Whose do you think?” Makio snorts

“Tengen,” you say breezily, reaching out to grasp his hand, stroking a coy, tender thumb across his knuckles, “Let’s go, we’re going to be late.”

“Obviously,” he grunts, eyes shining with appreciation—a welcomed promise—as he raises your palm to his lips, kissing your fingertips one by one, “We’re not leaving.”

—

“Hold up, you made two reservations?” Tengen shrieks

Your eyes roll as if to say Duh, already rummaging for a new dress while Suma helps pat Makio’s back dry, steam from the attached bathroom wafting into the bedroom

“She’s always prepared,” Hina chirps proudly, kissing your jaw with a fond smile

“That, and Tengen’s always horny,” you smirk

You don’t really have a video suitable for YouTube 😅, but you do post Before/After photos of the ~prank on Instagram with a cheeky Unfortunately, the “During” photos are NSFW 😏🫢🍑🍆 caption

[saturnn127]

couldn’t make it any harder | lee jeno smau

pairing: uni student!lee jeno x jaehuyn’s sister!reader synopsis: jeong yn has built herself a reputation as a certified man hater, acting like a bitch to any and every man that comes her way. unfortunately for lee jeno, he gets a hard on for bitchy women. no wait, just yn. however, there's a reason yn has a hatred for men and relationships, so no matter which feelings begin to surface, she's not going to entertain them. at least, that was the plan before the past begins to show up again. warnings: cursing, drug usage, non-active character death, mentions of terminal illness, talks of abusive relationships, (not serious) slut shaming, reader is kind of a bitch, haechan being haechan, haechan slander (he likes it), suggestive comments, questionable behavior, out of pocket statements, might be cringe sometimes soz, random face claims (i'm blurring the faces out dw), maybe some mischaracterization (i'm trying), unrealistic college experiences (i don't talk to ppl on campus), intentional lowercase, probably some typos, some written chapters, jeno is a himbo simp, but he does no wrong we love him, ok i think that's it i'll stop talking now. schedule: the goal is at least once a week, but don't hold me to it. more frequent posts when i’m in a mood to write. status: ongoing started: 3.26.2025 ended: ???

index

>profile (yn and jeno) >profile (yn’s friends) >profile (yn’s family) >profile (jeno’s friends)

dolce and gabbana scarf

woo party party

got that apologetic rizz

premarital hand holding

the beach episode

pink rolling papers

a little zaza (iykyk)

stanky legged too hard

i’m here to save you, yn.

manifestation does exist

let me tell you smth

chess club???

homophobe era

ok boomer

bad juju energy

an intervention

bombastic side eye

broke sugar daddy

jaemin’s shayla (alt title: a fart)

murder this puss‼️

boo you whore

the math is mathing

no party like a jackson party

jaemin caught bad case of the stripes

to be added to the taglist, leave a comment under this or any of my other posts. i respond to every comment and i love hearing what you guys think, so please interact! my asks are open for any suggestions, ideas, or feedback. (both pos and neg, just please be respectful!)

taglist: @kukkurookkoo @nosungluv @hoeingthefuckup @dilflover44 @alwayswonbinning @jaellymint @n0hyuck @mwrsi @awktwurtle @haechology @tyongspice1 @t-102 @lvsdoyo @jae-n0 @ne0sgotmyback @neozon3nha @minkyuncutie @httpsxnox @bbykaixx @urlocalbeaner5 @wdwbts101 @heavenjae @markiesfatbooty @xlvyt @purezitas @kswluvrr @

[devilish-cherry]

ᨳ♡₊➳ teaching choso how to use a phone hcs

ᨳ♡₊➳ choso x reader

ᨳ♡₊➳ pure crack with fluff

₊⊹. You finally convinced Choso to get a smartphone because, honestly, the idea of your 150-year-old, half-cursed spirit boyfriend wandering the city without a way to contact you was stressing you out. Unfortunately, the first time he activates Siri, he immediately becomes obsessed. He spends the next hour having a full conversation with her, convinced she’s some omniscient, all-knowing woman trapped inside the device.

“Who is this? How does she know the weather?” he asks, genuinely amazed.

You try to explain AI, but he just frowns. “So she’s… not real?”

You confirm, but he doesn’t believe you. He starts saying “please” and “thank you” to her, thinking it’s the polite thing to do, and when Siri responds with “I live to serve,” he turns to you with wide eyes. “She’s loyal. I respect her.”

Later, you catch him whispering to Siri at 2 AM. “Siri, what is rizz?” She gives him a Wikipedia definition, and he nods solemnly, as if she just revealed the meaning of life.

₊⊹. When Choso first opens the front camera it's purely by accident and he jumps because he thinks someone is staring at him.

It takes you ten minutes to explain that it’s his own face.

He looks at the screen, frowning. “Why do I look like that?”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought I looked…better.”

₊⊹. You teach Choso how to properly use the camera app, and he’s instantly hooked. The problem? He has zero concept of angles. Every selfie he sends you looks like it was taken by a dad who just discovered Facebook.

One is a close-up of his forehead. Another is 90% his nose. A few are taken at such an unflattering angle that you physically recoil. You try to guide him, but he insists that “this is my true form.”

The worst part? He never realizes he’s sending them. He just accidentally spams you with the most nightmarish, low-quality images imaginable. One time, he sends you a blurry picture of his eye, and when you ask what it means, he just responds, “I see you.”

You live in fear of opening your notifications.

₊⊹. At first, Choso types like an old man who just discovered the internet. Every message is unnecessarily formal and it takes him fifteen minutes to type a single one. “I hope this message finds you well. I am currently at the grocery store. Do you require anything?” You tell him he doesn’t have to type like he’s drafting a letter in the 1800s, but he doesn’t get it.

₊⊹. You made the grave mistake of teaching Choso how to use Google, and now he types full, grammatically correct sentences into the search bar like it’s a formal letter.

“Dear Google, can you die from drinking too much orange juice? Sincerely, Choso.”

At one point, he panics because he thinks he’s talking to a real person at Google.

“Dear Google, do you sleep? Do you need a break? I worry for you. Sincerely, Choso."

₊⊹. One day, you introduce Choso to the concept of voice messages because he struggles with typing. He loves it. But because his voice is naturally deep and monotone, everything he sends sounds like a mafia boss delivering an ultimatum.

You: “Hey, what do you want to eat?”

Choso: "Stay put. I will find you.”

You: “Do you need anything from the store?”

Choso: “It is already too late.”

He never means it that way. He’s just bad at tone. One time, he accidentally holds down the record button for three minutes, so all you get is the sound of him breathing heavily while a distant microwave beeps.

Another time, he sends you a 15-second voice memo that is just him sighing deeply followed by:

“…I saw a pigeon today.”

Then he sends another:

“…It was looking at me weird.”

Then another:

“…I don’t trust it.”

That’s it. No context. You’re in the middle of work and have to excuse yourself because you’re laughing too hard.

₊⊹. The first time Choso sends an email, he notices the little “Sent from my iPhone” signature at the bottom. You forget to explain that it’s automatic, so he thinks he has to manually type it out every single time, email or text.

It doesn’t matter what the message is.

“Good morning. Did you sleep well? Sent from my iPhone.”

“Do you want McDonald’s? Sent from my iPhone.”

You don’t have the heart to correct him.

₊⊹. He also discovers autocorrect. One time, he meant to text “Good night.” but autocorrect changed it to “God nut.” You have never known fear like receiving a 2 AM message from him that just says "God nut." with no context.

₊⊹. You introduce Choso to the concept of online shopping, thinking it’ll be harmless. It is not. He immediately becomes addicted to buying the weirdest things. He orders a 200-pack of rubber ducks. He doesn’t even like rubber ducks that much. He just thought it was fun.

₊⊹. Choso has zero understanding of what’s a scam. He clicks on everything. Every pop-up, every link, every “Congratulations! You’ve won a free iPad!” ad. He has installed seven viruses in one week. He sends you a link: “Look! This website is selling a brand-new TV for only $5!” You tell him it’s a scam. He doesn’t believe you. “No, see, it says ‘totally real, not a scam’ in the description.”

At one point, he proudly tells you he got a message saying he won $1,000,000, and all he has to do is send them his bank details.

“Choso, no.”

“But they said—”

“Choso, please block them.”

“But what if—”

“Block them.”

He sulks like a kicked puppy and mutters about how it seemed like a good opportunity.

₊⊹. Choso doesn’t trust “the ghost box” (your Bluetooth speaker). The first time you paired it to your own phone, the automated voice said, “Connected.” Choso froze. Looked you dead in the eye.

“Who was that. WHO WAS THAT."

₊⊹. The first time Choso accidentally took a screenshot, he thought he broke the phone.

He ran to you, panicked and waving his phone around.

“I don’t know what I did, but the screen—it remembers.”

You explain that it’s just a screenshot and show him how to do it on purpose. Now, he takes screenshots of everything like an old man who doesn’t trust the internet.

“What if they delete this? I need to keep evidence.” (It’s just a recipe for banana bread.)

₊⊹. One time, he accidentally took a picture of your face mid-sneeze and he decided to set it as his lock screen. Now, every time he unlocks his phone, he sees your cursed sneeze face.

He refuses to change it. He says it’s sentimental.

“It reminds me of your strength.”

₊⊹. Choso does not understand emojis. At all. You try to explain their meanings, but he insists on using them his own way.

Example: He once texted you, “Thinking about you. ❤️🛐🔥🔪🐍🚬”

You immediately call him, asking if this is a threat. He is confused. “What? No. The heart means I like you. The prayer hands mean I respect you. The fire means you’re attractive. The knife means I’d protect you. The snake means you’re clever. The cigarette means you’re cool.”

₊⊹. Despite all of this, Choso is genuinely trying. He wants to learn because he likes talking to you, his brother, and staying connected. He still struggles, but he remembers what you teach him. He still sends weird messages, but they’re sweet and he means well. And when he finally figures out FaceTime, he lights up.

“Now I can see you anytime,” he says softly. “That’s nice.”

That alone makes it all worth it.

[lace-tf]

daily koss #24: sometimes you guys are gonna have to put up with me posting the most random ass goofy AUs…

@dallacuna mentioned offhandedly that if Knock Out was in Little Shop of Horrors he’d be the dentist and the conversation spiralled…

Lacuna and I agreed none of the TFP characters suited Audrey, so I ended up using Windblade cuz I’ve been reading the IDW ‘05 run and (wack orientalism ass design aside) I really like her and her dynamic with Starscream so far :( Not me shipping yet another rarepair

Starscream was originally Smokescreen’s evil plant but Knock Out rizzed him up so he switched sides 🤦

KO is able to do this because Smokescreen’s attempt to avenge Windblade’s mistreatment doesn’t go to script and he ends up just dragging an unconscious Knock Out back to the flower shop, grappling with whether or not he should kill him after all, but Knock Out wakes up and ends up encountering Starscream

He was like ‘you know having to feed you live prey will end up eating at his conscience and he’ll end up betraying you right 😏’ and SS was like ‘oh and you won’t?’ and KO was like ‘please—I’m in this mess because I’m a sadist, I’m afraid; the only qualm I have with murder is how much work it is to hide a body [HINT HINT]’ their stupid ass you scratch my paint I scratch yours canon event 😭 so SS was like ‘Sorry, Smokescreen, but I’m afraid it seems our little partnership has come to an end [EVIL EMOJI]’

But maybe KO does not get to let SS cannibalise him maybe Smokescreen escapes… My baby boy…

KOSS short-sighted idiot moment immediately follows this scenario because they’re both like wait where are we going to keep Starscream. We can’t just leave him in the flower shop it’s going to be weird for Knock Out to rock up all the time. But they can’t just move him cuz he’s a 20ft plant

SS just expected KO to have a plan for this for some reason and he gets mad and KO is like ‘well YOU’RE the higher alien lifeform here I thought you’d have a spaceship???’ and SS is like ‘????? ⬅️ A PLANT WITH ROOTS IN THE GROUND’

They somehow work things out and then Knock Out becomes a serial killer for fun and business. Truly wretched…

It’s KOSS though so they need to have relationship drama; when KO realises the take over the world and kill all humans plan is for serious he gets mad like what about HIM??? HE lives there??? HELLO??? He thought they were going to publicise Starscream as a cool freak of nature and become famous??? And SS (idiot) is like Sorry you felt that way; I suppose I could always kill you last 🤷 And then KO starts trying to kill him

SS is pissed off but also feels bad for some reason… So crazy why does he feel hurt by this :((( It makes no sense :((( So even though he’s like ‘*scoff* No matter—he’s just some human; he played his role and now he’s in my way’ he can’t bring himself to kill KO 🤦 Very predictable

They end up making up though. Roll end credits of their domestic serial killer life /hit

Breakdown is Knock Out’s hygienist/secretary but unlike the original dentist he treats BD well! BD usually stays in his own lane but sometimes gets called in to help with the murder nonsense

I have not figured out the rest of the cast but might if I percolate this silly AU more ahahaha