#(and i've researched: it's not that deep)
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Sun! Sun! MaKe mE SpRiNg RoLlS PlEaSE
‐hungry anon-
oooh springs rolls sound yum! what kind of spring rolls are your favourite?
#ask the crab#fnaf Sun#fnaf dca#dca fandom#Have You Eaten?#Sun Have You Eaten?#crab art#digital art#bright colours#i took this as an excuse to practice drawing food#for real the big reason why this au will have a fic is because i don't know how to draw food 😂#don't know how to draw that? time to write it#in researching for this ask i discovered that there are so many types of springs rolls#i got so hungry while looking at references#maybe it's because i've eaten too many chinese spring rolls as a kid#i'm kinda tired of them#i prefer gỏi cuốn nowadays#tho it always confuses me when people call summer rolls or rice paper rolls “spring rolls”#cuz my mental image of a spring roll is the deep fried variety#if there is a spring roll and summer roll#then is there an autumn roll or winter roll?
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💫
I haven’t drawn a lot of guns previously and I’m not particularly familiar with them in genetral, but I tried my best to crossreference parts and equipment between multiple people
Hopefully it looks relatively correct…if not, at least I had a blast! :D
#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn league of legends#caitlyn arcane#league of legends fanart#arcane fanart#lol fanart#digital drawing#digital art#I've always loved shooting sports...#they're so cool to even just watch#I'm a nerd and will do deep research on anything I draw
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when did you realise you had really become a Phannie™️? to me, as a new phannie, was when i could guess what year each pics/videos were from just by their hair
picture this. it's 2014 and you're 21 leaving the country for the first time ever to do a short term study abroad in the UK, you have been theee biggest cringiest teaboo since you were 11 years old. you have spent your whole life waiting on this moment for a thousand reasons.
so you're finally strolling the streets of london in your oxfords just like you've always dreamed of. except ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUTare these two fuckass youtubers you've been watching for 4 years. what are they doing rn. omg i wonder where they are. haha imagine if i run into them on london eye or something. no i need to take a photo of trafalgar square For Reasons. oh we're close to the bbc...that's crazy haha.
(also anon you should send this ask to other people bc it is actually a really fun question to think about)
#anon ask#no but the thing about me is i've always been someone who lurks and researches and gets into deep wormholes about fixations#but i generally dont make them My Personality or think of myself as a part of the fandom bc mostly i lurk#so i had already fallen deeeeep into dnp but i wasn't A Phannie surely like this isn't a permanent fixture of my heart museum#anyway that trip was kind of the beginning of the end for me as far as slapping the label on
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would it be a stretch to say Akihiko & Yukari are lowkey BPD-coded? cuz this realization is driving me insane
#maybe im projecting..but unpacking trauma through fictional characters has been so cathartic lately LMAO. it's helping me soooo much#i only highly suspect i have BPD and i plan on talking to a professional about it cuz it's ruining everything... but#im learning so much about myself through these two ahhhhh#but also it's so funny reading through longass psychology research articles and stuff and just being like “this is giving akihiko vibes 😩”#BE SERIOUS PLEASE#obviously im only going off of basic character traits. there's a lot that isn't shown in game but...#i could see them struggling with certain things because of what IS shown. and many of the traits and trauma are present for both of them#and that deep fear of loss/abandonment and the many struggles and symptoms that come with it are literally what their arcs about#yukari doing anything to get makoto back..Akihiko refusing to let Shinji go and being so fixated on not losing anyone else..it's all so rea#the impulsivity &black and white thinking the intense emotions and anger the unstable relationships the low self esteem...i could go on#seeing them overcome it all is so inspiring#i will write essays for both characters trust..cuz there's so much more i can say#i saw myself so much in yukari it was scary. and i relate to Aki more than i thought too oughh.#i dont think i've seen anyone talk about this cuz cluster b headcanons and non adhd/autism HCs in general are rare#but omg...no wonder theyre both my favorite P3 characters LMAO#even if they or i dont have BPD..it's just nice to not feel alone in certain things ya know?#akihiko sanada#yukari takeba
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Worked my new job at the pet store today and I accidentally scared a hamster. So im gonna make it up to him by giving him a loving home
#simon says#i got a good sized tank and as it turns out fish keeping is difficult here bc the water is so hard#and after learning how to handle the animals today and cleaning the hamster tanks and setting them up I feel like I could handle a lil guy#a lil dude#besides this tank is deep enough that I can give him a good amount of bedding that he can burrow in#but yeah I accidentally freaked him out and I felt so guilty that i just wanna give him a nice lil home now :(#I've done hamster research for a while now bc I considered a lil guy in the past#but now im specifically looking into Syrian Hamsters#aka Golden Hamsters aka Teddy bear Hamsters#technically he's not a teddy bear hamster bc he has short hair (according to one hamster website)#but he gives off teddy bear vibes
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Hey, it is so great to see a fellow Arcanum fan in the wild! Thank you for all the art. Virgil is the best!
And it's so wonderful to know that there are still Arcanum fans out there! I'm filled with so much fervor to make fanart!
And Virgil is the best! Here's a WIP of something I've been working on for him~ 💛
#stellastra's art#WIP#asks#arcanum: of steamworks and magick obscura#arcanum of steamworks and magick obscura#Arcanum#Virgil#Virgil Brummond#i try not to excessively tag my WIPs for fandoms but i think i've settled on making exceptions for asks#but anyway all i have left for Virgil here is his outercoat and then the back view. then i will finally be free#been slowly chipping away at this since last October oops. i think the way i draw Virgil now has changed but whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#it's not that it takes me that long to draw it's just that i juggle a lot of other WIPs(started this+my Living One's+Jayna's + Raven's refs#also i thought Virgil's outfit would be easy since i thought menswear is -usually- simpler than womenswear#that was a foolish thought. what a fool i was...#based on my research - the guys in ye olde victorian times wear about just as many layers as the ladies#but anyway i know i'm deep in the tags but thanks a bunch for the ask!#it lifted my spirits today#i don't draw for popularity but it does feel -so- wonderful for my fanart to reach fellow fans of the source material#even if the fans are rather few on the internet haha. i once joked that there's like only 10 arcanum fans on tumblr lol
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The most fun thing about researching information for your fanfics is just the wild stuff you end up learning. Along with the massive amount of time just trying to get things figured out and it's literally just background knowledge.
Gods, I love being a fanfic writer. You learn such random things.
Yes. I have spent untold hours just figuring out where the hell the Tsugikuni clan could have possibly been located and who their superiors were. And yes, I have that info figured out.
#writing#yoriichi tsugikuni#michikatsu tsugikuni#kokushibo#demon slayer#kny#kimestu no yaiba#mainly for this fandom#I spend way too much time researching the Sengoku era#to the point I now know stuff about the amount of food available#how onigiri were made#and that they could not eat meat#along with the fact that they skipped dinner#but I still obsess over knowledge on nobility and samurai families#because I want to get accurate depictions of Michikatsu's life#and though Yoriichi and Michi are fan favorites#not much stories set in their era#believe me I've read them all#so I have to fill in a lot of gaps#but I am thankful for those who have done deep dives into Michi's rank#the Tsugikuni's clan status#and Michi's mental state#love you so much
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ohhhh i just now realized something that was definitely a subconscious inspiration for emelin's dress, for the rope across her hips... it's all coming together


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One day, I'll have a harrowing therapy session and won't feel like impulse buying a bunch of shit afterwards. One day
#it doesn't help that my therapist's office is right next to 2 museums with amazing gift shops and also a bookstore#like you expect me to not go look at pretty books and shiny little trinkets? inconceivable#i bought two books about homer and bronze age greece today even though i've at least 4 i haven't read yet#the piles just keep piling#*deep breath* it's good i'm good it's for research#also kinda holding on by the skin of my teeth not to order the cute patchilles merch i've been eyeing#patchilles save me..... save me patchilles.......#ajshsha anyway 😭 it's been an insane couple days and if a couple treats can help keep my sanity i'll take em#jo rambles#prob delete later
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hihi!! :]]
for the ask game:
✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it?
*waves* hi ghost! Thanks for dropping by!
(we're going to do this about the dca because we've basically been hyperfixating on them for 4 years now ummm)
Okay, was drawn towards the dca because 1) I absolutely love the concept of two separate people sharing a body and mind, and the conflicts that ensue as a result of it. I am very good at overanalyzing, so anything that carries even a little bit of symbolism or depth is enough to get me hooked. As for what's interesting, I think it's a combination of the way they're portrayed in fandom and the theories that people have about them, as well as how malleable they are - in terms of both character and personality. I mean, their backstory has a viewer draw a number of possible conclusions, and the way they carry themselves (even though they were on screen for a relatively short time) in relation to their situation and themselves is absolutely fascinating.
All in all, the dca is just really neat and fun to dissect from a literary perspective :D
#ask game#minute answers#asks#moots!#thanks for the ask!#yea if anything is even a little bit more deep than it seems I've tied a rope around my waist and gone in for a deep dive#*sighs dreamily*#oh to befriend a robot and psychoanalyze them and maybe dissect their innards and disassemble their motherboard for research...
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i think i might be a bit overdue for a stress spam so if you see me reblogging a bunch of posts of the same character in a row a little later i'm fine i promise
#yesterday was a rough day. spiraled a bit. today's better tho#i got the windows open doing some cleaning gonne work on kole a bit more i think or vincent or both#winging it as usual lol#but in my spiral i realized it's been a long time since i dug through tags and doing that used to help so worth a shot#been doing some research on grief processing because i'm worried that i'm struggling with it#but in the end i more or less found out i'm plugging along as normal for someone in my situation so hey#not sure i appreciate that it could be 2 years of this or longer oof#tho i do honestly think that once i get an income going and finish the deep clean i'll have an easier time of it#get a chance to properly sit down and just grieve without the ghost of upcoming bills breathing down my neck lol#doing grabby hands at the HR team to send me the 2nd interview info. they said “next week” it's next week i'm getting antsy#i think the issue i'm running into is i need to kinda. rediscover myself and that's really hard to do at my age lol#i've spent my entire life as my mom's carer so now that i'm not that anymore i'm kinda lost to what i am#so i want to try and figure that out a bit too this year
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also wait random ass poll out of curiosity cause ive been thinking abt it lately
(to be clear im not talking about other silly nicknames like "church boy" or whatever as much as i love those lol, i'm talking strictly in the sense of shortening his original name)
#kazehiki#utau#utauloid#vocaloid#i guess?? idk if i should put any other tags tbh#i don't know if this'll get far/anywhere but i've just been thinking abt it since ive seen both used a fair amount#i personally use hiki and then derive sillier nicknames from that (heekers) and i think maybe part of it has to do w/ 1) matches geki bette#and i never see anyone call her yaku for short always just geki. and 2) just sounds?? better to me than calling him kaze for short but idk#not to get my ass all overanalytical on this but i am genuinely curious if there is maybe a deeper linguistic reason as to why i prefer#one nickname over the other and if the same goes for other people. or perjaps im just crazy. i need to look cause maybe there is#more sophisticated linguistic research on how nicknames come about & are formed and i know it def varies on languages and stuff#so maybe thats an underlying reason for personal preferences across peeps. but again i think im just overthinking things#we're talking about nicknaming a computer program dawg... ughgh im in way too deep with this stuff#oh yeah and if u dont know vocaloid/utau and/or dont even know who he is & dont care ignore this lol carry on
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As a note, because it was brought to my attention that sometimes my excitement/disappointment cycles can come across as very rude when interacting with others in the same fandoms- if I become negative about something, it's usually because I want it to succeed. I am so excited for the bones, but when the meal is delivered, the meat attached to them is just fat and gristle.
I also have a tendency to have very long and winding ideas but trail off in the middle because I get tired of typing/getting them out of my head/connecting all the dots on my internal murder board out loud, but still post what I have because I still want to say it and hope others can finish my thoughts with me.
I am trying to be more considerate when replying, but I am very blunt and tend to speak in what looks like absolute statements because in my head there's a lot of the conversation already filled in, so of course we're already on the same page. But sometimes we aren't even reading the same book.
So, apologies in advance if I come off as mean or talking over your points. I am a person that tells a story of similar pain when someone is expressing how they're hurting to show I understand and have felt the same way. Some people take comfort in that, some people think I'm trying to one-up them in their time of vulnerability.
I am excited! I am SO EXCITED to talk to people that enjoy/hate the same things as I do! I want to share thoughts and argue about the little details in a friendly way. Arguing without stakes is fun! Debating isn't about who wins or loses, but all the interesting points a different view can bring to all sides of the table!
#thai bl#because I've been bagging hard on them#i have seen how good they can be#which is why it is so disappointing when something with great potential gets obliterated#sunset x vibes#addicted heroin thailand#and deep night pissed me off at every turn#i have the adhd super highway of thought#i see a pebble and then think of penguins and then think about sid and geno and then think about Russia#and then i spend 10 hours listening to Russian punk music and researching vocabulary#and when i go back to talking about the pebble I'm still thinking about what facts i learned and assume you also know them#and am confused when you ask how we got to USSR deficit shops from pebbles#the path is so obvious#fandom
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Having a loved one describe to you the way they've described you to their other loved ones when you aren't there is game changing. One of my favorite people in every single goddamn universe told me that when they told their brother about me they described me as
"Tall, with crazy dyed curly hair" as well as a whole other host of things that I can't remember specifically and don't want to risk putting words in their mouth (although I do think the words smart, hot, cool, and punk also were said? I can't remember)
Which like. My 5' 7" ass (170 cm) who has wanted to be "actually tall" and has always wanted "real curls" instead of the weird wavy/curly mess that I try to make behave into "real curls" who got bullied hard for a lot of things was sitting there like. On the verge of tears from how loved I was. I feel like even now typing this out their description is too high of praise, but I trust them with all my being so I'm trying to believe them.
To be loved is to be seen the way you've always wanted to be. To be loved is for someone to share how much they love you with the other beings they love.
#love#queer things#trans stuff#trans ftm#poetry? in a way I guess?#to be loved is to realise that everything is poetry if you look at it right#to be loved is to be seen#to be loved is to be known#i also am never sure how to concisely describe my relationship with this person lmao#because due to circumstances#we can't be partners (yet)#weve discussed it tho as a future thing#and theyre like. one of my best friends if not my best friend but idk if they also consider me that so i hesitate to call them that lmao#im poly so i have several favorite people so they arent “my favorite person ever”#and even though weve agreed that we're twin flames neither of us really like that term#(because after i did a whole hell of a lot of research on it i was like. hm.#this seems like its just a way of redefining a codepent relationship#and like. im whole without them#like my soul is whole without theirs#but meeting them?? its like something clicked#i found something that I didnt even know existed#like if you said your favorite color was green but you couldnt see purple or something#like that one post about how a dog could maybe play a killer sax solo but dogs dont have that option#and idek if i believe in souls!#and still i KNOW for a fact deep in my bones that I've met them before and loved them every time#theres so many tags on this post lmao#fuck it we ball#like. yall.#they were in my dreams before i met them irl#i love them so much
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Discovered Obsidian (the writing tool) for myself and actually think it's pretty neat! It uses Markdown for text formatting, which is cool because I use that all the time at work anyway, and it has a bunch of cool features like creating canvasas with Notes, pictures, links etc, linking files and and and. I think I am going to overuse the canvas feature so much. When I prepare to write a fanfic I often go out and collect a bunch of pics with the right vibes, cause my brain is very visual, and I like to have different documents for Notes on the story outline and on characters' backgrounds and motivations and then separate ones for (each chapter of) the story, etc. Being able to put all of that on a canvas and have it ready at a glance while working seems very compelling :D
The tool is free to use and you can create an account for free as well. There are some features you need a paid subscription for, but as far as I've seen in the short time I've looked at it, the free stuff is already pretty great.
Shoutout to all of my writer friends, who feel like checking out something new <3
#me things#writing#the tool was recommended to me ages ago by a friend but just never had the energy or time to check it out#and now since I've been home sick for two weeks and counting I finally got sick of staring at the post it note and took a peak#After succumbing to the genshin brainrot and deciding to jot down some fanfic notes#the gods only know if anything is going to come of it but I am having fun playing around right now#and genshin has the strong advantage of not requiring ages of research beforehand#it's not that deep#and I've been playing it for a couple of years now anyway#so wha#I'm tired I'm going to go take a nap now
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Thinking about finally throwing all my FF7 meta analysis and lore deep dive stuff onto a sideblog. It'd be reblogged from here, but I'd be able to organize it a little better, have a directory so people could find things more easily, and maybe it'd stop people from regurgitating things I say word-for-word for brownie points when they can just find and reblog the fucking original post(s).
#fandom vent#this happens WAY more often than I talk about#like constantly#not daily#but if I put up a ramble#there will always be 2-3 people on the twits or here#who immediately start saying the same thing#in the same words#acting like they're the ones that did the analysis#and it's really frustrating#y'all know I actually do research on this shit?#I check my sources#I review the source material#I get alternate translations to be sure#I read real-life research journals for scientific stuff#I research dates and real-world events and natural phenomena and religious history etc etc etc#it's not just 'nashi writes 2k words of bullshit and hits POST'#I do actual research for my analyses and my deep dives#I cite my sources whenever possible#I don't LINK all the time because that can kick a post from the tags#but I don't just make shit up#so people grabbing it and running with it as if they were the ones that did the work to figure it out#is super disheartening#my current big research project is figuring out if Reeve's surname#is actually rooted in Gaelic#because it's such a weird name#and it's possible that it's not spelled right#because it may be Gaelic#this is a theory that has not panned out yet#but I've been researching it on and off for weeks
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