#(but there are more important things to prepare rn and so us are basically just chilling and responding to occasional email and she needs to

[deetherusalka]

Something histerical about your colleague trying to updo you in job you're both equally inexperienced and under prepared for

[niniwritesxo]

nsfw alphabet - kang daeho (player 388)

(contains sexual content, mdni <3)

(these are all my opinion, if you disagree that’s totally fine, just dont interact w this fic xo)

——————————————————————————

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

- dae-ho is such a sweetheart and i am convinced he thinks aftercare is the most important thing ever, he’ll do anything to make you comfortable afterwards. preparing you a nice warm bath, making you a sweet treat or just cuddle with you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

- he loves his arms, especially when he flexes them so he can see his biceps/thriceps, his favorite part about you are your thighs and your ass (i just know he is a ass man)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

- he has a breeding kink, he literally will thank you if you let him come inside. (hahaha going insane rn)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

- he is a switch but loves when you dom him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

- i think he has good experience, his bodycount is probably below 5 though.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

- reverse cowgirl. (who said that)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

- i feel like he would be kinda goofy, like cracking a little joke when something awkward happens.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

- dae-ho is definitely shaves for you, he knows you hate bushes lol.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

- oh he is hopelessly in love, he loves sharing these intimate moments with you because he absolutely adores you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

- mutual masturbation 100%

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

- praise, some degrading and in a way i feel like he would be such a good brat tamer (i am delusional)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

- either the kitchen or the shower.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

- praise.

‘just like that dae-ho, you feel so good, fuck.’

say that and he’ll go on for hours

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

- spitting and slapping.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

- dae-ho is a MUNCH, i just know he loooves going down on you, he loves pleasing you.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

- depends on how he is feeling, but i think it kinda switches between the two. (he’ll always make sure to ask you if it isn’t too rough)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

- he doesn’t mind them but he would rather fuck you for hours straight.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

- whenever you suggest something he’ll definitely try them out, he loves when you come with new ideas.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

- i think he lasts LOOONG, he won’t stop until you at least came twice, doesn’t matter how long it has to take.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

- maybe like a vibrator ON you, but that’s about it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

- i think he is such a tease, joking about you whining and going insane over his touch.

‘you want to cum that bad sweetheart?’ he says grinning.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

- he isn’t that loud but he is definitely whiny and needy, so you’ll probably hear him whimpering and grunting.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

- he loves it when you call him daddy (he’ll probably call you mommy…anyways!)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on underneath those clothes)

- dae-ho is not big but kinda buff, like he is not that skinny and actually has some meat on his body (yummy)

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

- quick, he probably does something cute like make some tea for the both of you and falls asleep cuddling you.

thank you for reading lovely xo

[kingkatsuki]

Jo the emotional turmoil and sexual competitions between zodyl and enjin in an enjin x reader x zodyl love triangle would be INSANEEEEE.

Currently thinking of a reader who was formerly one of the cleaners but gets radicalized/inspired to join zodyl and the raiders.

Like you had an ongoing unserious relationship with Enjin but it was never fully official or labeled anything serious and the lack of commitment has you drifting away into the arms of someone else…

And Zodyl won you over as a part of his plan, one of many experiments to see how loyal to Enjin you truly are. He hopes that you leaving Enjin will make the pseudo-leader of the cleaners less focused/less of a problem for the raiders and Zodyl’s future plans.

What he didn’t calculate was actually catching feelings for you.

Orrrr if you had another enjin/zodyl/reader trio idea I’d love to hear it 👀🎤

STOP RN. I am so unbelievably obsessed with this you have no idea?!?!

Because imagine how much more Enjin would hate him? Would hate the raiders— how much more careless he’d be. We’re so used to him being the protector, the voice of reason who looks after his found family… but if he lost you he’d be prepared to do anything to get you back where you belong.

And he starts looking back on those nights you’d spend together, the deep and meaningful conversations you’d have, the sex— He wishes he’d made things official, like he could tell you wanted and perhaps he was just too afraid to do so? Too afraid to take that leap of faith. And look where it’s gotten him? Still fisting his cock to the thought of you.

Somehow it’s like Zodyl knows how important you are to him too. How much Enjin loves you— and he uses it to his advantage. Keeping you close whenever Enjin is around, his hand around your throat as he pulls your back against his chest with his eyes focused on Enjin.

It makes bile rise in his throat at the thought of Zodyl’s hands on what should be his. Touching you the way that Enjin used to touch you— he wonders if you cum as hard for him. Torturing himself with those sick and twisted thoughts as he imagines you naked for another man, moaning out a name that isn’t his. He still fists his cock to the thought of it though, because this is the lovesick depraved fool you’ve created.

And yet you’re so fiercely loyal to Zodyl now. A man who isn’t afraid to tell you how he feels, how important you are to him, how much he loves you. You believe every word, because of course you do. He’s never given you a reason to doubt it, and it’s the same words you’ve longed to hear from Enjin for so long. To feel loved, desired, wanted— he doesn’t feel the same as Enjin, almost no comparison as Zodyl treats you so roughly, deliberately marking you as his each night as he fucks you with persistence.

Enjin spends each night with regrets, his cigarette consumption even worse than before as he finds himself bartering for more. Unable to get the dark thoughts out of his mind as he wonders what sick torture you’re having to endure.

So he seizes the moment to bring you back. Cornering you on one of their missions as he pushes you back against the wall, the familiar scent of you invades his senses as he does everything in his power to stop himself from kissing you. His thigh lodged between your thighs to keep you pinned as he feels you grind yourself against it, the warmth radiating off of you as Enjin tries to remember to breathe. He wants to keep everyone safe, and deep down he doesn’t even know whether he can even trust you anymore. Unsure just how much you’ve been radicalised, and yet he doesn’t seem to care— not above begging as he pleads with you to come back to him, to come back home.

My Enjin x Zodyl x Reader ideas are so basic! I always think you were part of the raiders until you’re rescued by Enjin, but it’s so difficult to adjust especially after being so in “love” with Zodyl for so long.

Or you’re a cleaner, but you can’t help but tempt fate by always sneaking off to meet with Zodyl and fuck— and Enjin finds out and feels completely betrayed.

[bringcal]

Okayyy welcome to my first (kind of, I did do something like this one) blog post !!!! I finally finished school, so this past week and a half has just been doing my own thing, preparing for commissions to be open, and trying to sort out all my projects…

Here's all the stuff happening in my life that I'll touch on: I. Commissions and websites II. Schools over, my art plans III. Linux adventures in stupid-land

Commissions and websites I did, in fact, finish my commission page and commissions are open, I just haven't formally announced it here and have been taking them from smaller sources at first. Did a bit of a revamp of my commissions, and posted about making my own site page for people to use instead of a carrd or some graphic design poster type thing.

I'm really passionate about Neocities specifically and I really want to try to get other people into it because I believe a lot of my mutuals on here would have cool sites if they tried. I want people to understand its actually not that hard at all and they should not be taking the "coding anything at all is so intelligible and hard u need to be a super genius to understand anything" sentiments to heart about it because actually if you wanna make urself a nice little site on neocities its very simple to learn and even if your site is built like ass no one on there cares.

When I first opened my Neocities it took me a weekend to make a single page and honestly the longest part was just drawing all the assets I wanted. If you're a creative person like me maybe spend an evening just drawing out an idea of what you'd like your site to look like and congrats you're already part of the way there. Planning is the first step!

Schools over, my art plans NO MORE WORK !!! for the summer. Now I have to get a job. but I'm really considering what to do after this degree. I came in so set on being a psychologist and that dream got stomped out immediately. So then I just chose to be a teacher. and like, I still want that, but. I don't think I'm ready? I try hard to volunteer and get experience, but teachers college is extremely competitive I just can't sort my life out to get a lot of experience I need.

I'm thinking of going to art school for illustration first and putting myself further in debt cuz that shit slaps when you don't have to pay it just yet! I love free school!!!! future Ridley will hate me !!!

This section is much shorter cuz its more personal, but just know these considerations are taking up a LOT of my mind space rn X_X

Linux Adventures in stupid-land

Since school is over, I finally had a single braincell to try out Linux, and try out I did !

For some background, I am not really a tech savvy person, at least I don't think I am. I only ever got interested tech about a few months ago, and before that I just kinda used my stuff like a normal person (and I feel I honestly still mostly do? at least, I am not a programmer. I just play a lot of games and draw art.) and it was mainly my partner lecturing me on Basic Stuff is when i started to know a bit more of what i should and shouldn't be doing

I think because of this my partner has been really interested the entire time I've known them to see how a normal person would handle trying linux when all I've known my entire life is Windows and macOS makes me wanna cry!

At first it was not good, but it was pretty much because my partner took my laptop and put fedora on it and I hated it so bad it made me stop using my laptop entirely and treat it even worse than before. So my introduction was unwelcoming. It was only when I just decided to get Linux mint myself on my laptop when I was like oh ok this is fine actually. It was actually so fine that a week later I ended up backing up all my important shit on an external storage so I can blow up my Windows installation entirely on my desktop so I can exclusively try out CachyOS on my PC, which i use daily. 5 days in and it's been good! I've tried a few distros and nothing is as comfortable as Cachy is for me and it was very much the perfect introduction to the Terminal for me since when you're on mint you don't really need to use it for anything and mint is a lot like Windows 2, at least to me.

My desktop so far! It basically kinda just looks like how my windows did lmao, but I like it ^_^

It's really interesting because I think me alone trying it sparked a lot of people I am friends with and know to immediately ask for help so they can try out linux themselves and like. I don't even know much but I think that's exactly why they immediately asked because they know if I can do it they can too. I've written guides for them anyways despite being a new-baby because It's so unnecessarily complicated for new people to learn and get into cuz a lot of guides just Kind of assume the person is like, majoring in CS and already know 'basic' concepts. So I wrote one to make it even more basic. and doesn't assume where you're at coming in. I've been told to post it but I'm shy! ( and also, I'd wanna go back and make it even easier to follow)

I only had to give up a single game.. which is Infinity Nikki. Really soul crushing bc im obsessed w that game. I play it on mobile only now but its not the same because its so bad on mobile. weh! I at first also had to give up Davinci Resolve (program I use to make videos) but I found my way around that and now I can use it :3

[baekhyunsbestie]

(cw s3xual)

Lisa, favorite girl out there, I need your help pls 😫😫 Ngl I’m feeling kinda hornie lately but like… I have 0 sex life rip… so what should I do at this point? I feel like I’m going insaaaneee

asking you bc I trust you and you always give great advice ❤️‍🔥 😉

nonnieeeeee my beloved, my dearest, my favorite lil freak in distress…

ok first of all, i love that i’ve somehow become the designated horny consultant. second, ur so real for this lmaaaaoooo 🙂‍↕️ so, ur out here suffering, feeling like a victorian child w a fever, and the streets (or your bed) are giving you nothing???? don’t worry ur ate lisa is here and she comes bearing solutions <333333333

⟢ first and probs the most important tip: taking matters into your own hands—literally

listen.... if ur not actively out here in these streets (or even if you are but just not getting to where ya need to go), it’s time to embrace the magic of self care!!!! ur hands, fingers, and battery powered besties exist!! so use them!!!!!! set the mood. put on some cute lingerie. light a candle, play a sexy lil playlist, romanticize the experience. and if ur already doing these things n still feeling like ur bout to lose it, maybe it’s time to switch things up—try new techniques, new angles, new… equipment. don't lose faith 😭😭😭😭 ur own hands and/or toys will never ghost you, disappoint you, or finish too soon.

also, i cannot stress this enough: knowing what you like is KEYYYY. before i ever did anything smutty irl, i consumed so much filth thinking i was prepared—and yet, when the time(s) came, i was the only one who wasn’t 😭

but if you master your own map before letting someone else try to navigate, u won’t waste as much of ur time fumbling around in the dark (literally and figuratively). instead of hoping someone magically gets it, you can just tell them exactly what works for you. and honestly??!?!?!?!? being a confident person who knows what they want and isn’t afraid to say it????? yeah, that’s hot as HELLLLLLL. fr i WISH someone had told me this before i ever started getting freaky w other people. could’ve saved myself from some extremely mid experiences. learn from my mistakes my lovie!!! invest in yourself :')

⟢ redirect the energy

ok so here’s the thing..... sexual frustration is basically just excess energy that your body doesn’t know what to do w. that’s why u see people suddenly become gym rats when they’re single!!!!

so if ur feeling like ur body is a pressure cooker about to explode, channel that energy elsewhere. go for a run, lift some weights, do pilates, yoga, or even just dance around your room. i promise, by the time ur done, you’ll either feel like a new person or be too exhausted to care.

and if physical activity isn’t ur thing, put that energy into something creative. write, paint, learn a new skill, or reorganize your entire closet. is this just a form of productive distraction???? yeah. absolutely. but trust meeeeee this works!!!!

⟢ dating apps (never tried them myself but literally everyone i know irl has, so here’s the consensus lmao)

if ur looking for actual interaction, dating apps are there. are they a lawless wasteland? absolutely. but are they also full of potential?????? ....yes. just keep these golden rules in mind:

be clear about what you want!!! casual fun? something meaningful? just someone to simp over you? state your intentions and move accordingly.

do not ignore red flags!!! if someone gives you the ick within the first three msgs, block n delete. ur time is too precious.

have fun with it :) worst case? you walk away with some chaotic stories. best case? you find exactly what ur looking for. either way it's a win-win.

⟢ flirt for fun (but wisely)

even if u have zero plans to date or hook up rn, just FLIRT!!!!! flirting is fun, it keeps you on ur toes, and honestly??? life is just way more entertaining when ur a flirt :’) you don’t have to actually pursue anything but a lil playful back-and-forth? sooo much fun omg scratches the itch w/o committing to anything serious.

no one to flirt with? flirt w ur friends!!!! be an absolute fuckn DOGGG to them lmaoooo it helps hype each other up, boost the confidence, and best part?? no risk of leading anyone on. amazing. spectacular. flirt with ur friends. now.

⟢ touch some grass (literally and figuratively)

sometimes, the horniness is just misplaced boredom, stress, or loneliness in disguise. when was the last time you went outside? have you seen the sun lately? have you gone out and reminded yourself that you are, in fact, a well-rounded human being w/ interests beyond yearning??????

step outside, go for a walk, get coffee with a friend or jsut sit on a park bench and people watch. remind urself that life is happening beyond the four walls of your room and the inside of ur head.

but most importantly, remember: your time will come!!!! until then, stay strong, stay hydrated, and may your dreams be rated r 💖💓💖💓💗💗💓💞💓💖

[desidarling123]

SAB Scene Breakdown: Inej's Hallucination

OK, so I had actually been meaning to write and publish some meta on this particular scene (and just tons of SAB S2 meta, in general) in the weeks after the second season of the show came out. But life has been crazy recently, so I truly never found the time.

However, I reblogged a certain gifset a few days/weeks ago, slapped some tags on it, and realized there might indeed be some interest in some more #detailed thoughts.

The analysis that follows is at a pretty minute level of detail (and all of course based on MY views) so... take that with a grain of salt.

Also - fair warning - it's long as hell 😂 but entertaining, I hope!

I find this whole sequence in general super fascinating - it's one of my favorite scenes in the second season, and one that's also arguably subject to the absolute worst takes in fandom (iykyk... and if you don't, well, you're about to find out.)

So, let's get into it:

We start off strong with a very specific choice, made early on: it's not Inej seducing Kaz; rather, it's Kaz who's drawing Inej into this vision.

I get a bit more into the broader implications of that a bit later, but it's definitely important that it's done this way, rather than the other way around.

It's also, very notably, an inverse of this scene from a few episodes earlier:

What's unique about that previous scene is that in that moment, he's deliberately pushing her away (for reasons, mind you, that she's not entirely privy to, but definitely hurt her regardless - even if she pretends not to care about it to his face later on).

This is different. Instead of pushing her away, he is asking her to stay.

The choice of words is specific too: the word 'disappear' most obviously references her status as his spider. But it might also be an apt description of her own personal trappings, of 'disappearing' when in the throes of trauma-induced pressure.

Some atmospheric details I love:

Their IRL confrontation was in his office-cum-bedroom (👀shutup), a tiny, crammed space that matched the tension of that scene. This is the opposite of that - the room has a more open layout, imbuing the whole sequence with a more relaxed vibe. We can even see his cane chilling on the table behind him, just in reaching distance.

The DeKappel painting which they jointly stole in the books (and presumably on the show as well) is behind them.

Fire burning as a symbol for latent passion is not exactly groundbreaking imagery, but don't fix what ain't broke, amirite? :P

Malina, very notably, gets the same fire imagery treatment in their own love scene as well:

Will it show up again in a future season for kanej? Between that and, well, the recurring church imagery, we're in for a tossup, folks

But anyways. Back to the scene at hand.

You'll notice Inej goes back to a formal stance, hands behind her back, like she's preparing for a debrief or for an assignment. It's for a few seconds, if that, but it shows that she's grasping at some semblance of normalcy in this decidedly not-normal vision.

That facade lasts for all of, two seconds, tops, when he does this:

It's sexy! It's intimate! There's knives involved!

Okay, but seriously, for the sake of time I actually will not get into a deeper discussion of the ~implications~ because I'm sure it's been done a zilllion times before and it's also fairly obvious lol

Now, the one thing I *do* want to pivot to here is that by this point, both Inej and the audience understand that there is something very subtly yet fundamentally different about hallucination!Kaz.

But what is it?

Speaking on this scene, Freddy Carter had a quote (that I cannot be arsed to find rn) where he basically said that he deferred to Amita when playing hallucination!Kaz because "she (Amita) knows better (than I do) what it is that Inej likes about Kaz"

And what is it, exactly, that she likes about him? The next few gifs tell all, using actions rather than words.

This is her reaction to him pulling her knives from her. And what I find so interesting is that she is so (rightfully) startled....

But that is absolutely NOT the expression on his face at all.

In fact, he's remarkably self-assured.

And THAT, I think, is the crux of 'what it is she likes about him', as Frreddy said.

She likes his decisiveness, the single-minded precision with which he operates.

She's seen him apply it to every last scheme, every seemingly-hopeless situation... to damn near everything in the world, really, but her.

But here, in the depths of her hallucination, he does.

There are none of his usual hangups, none of their typically frustrating back-and-forths.

No. Here, he doesn't hesitate. He wants her, and he makes it known.

Striking, sexy stuff, to say least.

Let's go on:

Nothing to add here except that I'm obsessed with the way their heads turn at the same time here.

It's funny, because for all their personal hang-ups when it comes to physical intimacy, these two are SURPRISINGLY physically attuned to each other.

Goes to show, really, how much both of their problems are in their heads (obviously) -- and how, when they're actually ready to heal, relying on their intuition may be a better approach than getting too cerebral about it.

Again, Kaz does not break eye contact with her here, and it's such a contrast to what he might have instead done if this were happening in real life - in fact, does happen, in real life, though I'd argue that isn't exactly his fault.

I love that we get a moment where Inej looks down and sees his hand hovering near her waist, just so that it's made explicitly clear what he's asking for and what the ~implications~ are.

And then, she says yes! Enthusiastically, I might add.

Not but seriously the sheer want, the little touch of eagerness on her face kills me here. She's never had this experience before - has only ever known men violating her in the most horrible way possible - and yet this tiny little thing, of Kaz asking her for consent, means so much.

Oh my God Kaz is so sexy here sorry no words anyway carrying on.

Now even after she said yes you can see this sudden little beat of hesitation on her face, like she's maybe not sure what's going to happen or if Kaz is going to do what she asked. For her it's a moment of incredible vulnerability, even though Kaz is the one sort of making the advances on her - because this one time, she actually gets to say yes.

I think that shot of his arm going around her waist is so gorgeous and so sensual - but as we pan up we can see that maybe all isn't well.

Now, Amita also really does a fantastic job at portraying the turbulence of Inej's emotions -- she goes from clearly wanting it and saying 'yes', to visibly panicking once he acts on it. We see her shift around in his grip and even swallow nervously, blink-blink-blinking herself back into the moment.

Her response is reminiscent of this passage from the books:

But what might have happened if he'd spoken that night? If he had willingly offered her some part of his heart? What if he had come to her, laid his gloves aside, drawn her to him, kissed her mouth? Would she have pulled him closer, kissed him back? Could she have been herself in such a moment, or would she have broken apart and vanished, a doll in his arms, a girl who could never quite be whole?

You can see the very beginning of that sort of panic start to set in, here. This is completely uncharted territory for Inej - her own desire, the shame and baggage that comes with it, is all getting uncovered for the first time in what is arguably the 'safest' way possible - within the confines of her own mind - and yet, she's still panicking.

More on that in a bit. Let's keep going.

Anyways well Freddy's got a huge hand sorry anyway 

I love the way she closes her eyes here. And you can see again it's not without effort - like there's still conflict within her, you can see all of those different emotions warring within her - but she is trying to let herself have this moment. She's trying to take comfort in this touch that she so desperately wants and yet hasn't had any sort of good connotations with in recent history. 

She also opens her eyes just as he starts to lean in and I think that was a great, deliberate choice on Amita and Freddy's part.

It's that precise moment, really, when it becomes super super clear to her what's about to happen.

No notes, I just really love this forehead lean, it's that little bit of tenderness and intimacy that she's been subconsciously craving.

 Again, it's fascinating to me that we can see all of Inej's nervous tics coming into play here, but for hallucination!Kaz there's absolutely no hesitation at any point whatsoever.

It looks like, for all intents and purposes, he is going to kiss her.

And then at the very very last second you see him move back, ever-so-slightly --

and then she moves all the way back and delivers her line:

Ouch. Like a punch to the gut. True, but still ouch.

Now one could probably ask, in hypotheticals: why didn't he actually kiss her at this moment? And the answer to that simply is: this is her hallucination, you know? Even though she's not conscious of it (she's dying lol), she's the one with all the power, here.

And truthfully, whether she knows it or not, nothing is going to happen in her hallucination if she doesn't want it to.

But wait, you might say. Doesn't she want to kiss Kaz?

Like that original excerpt from the book indicates, it's complicated. Everything pertaining to desire generally will be, for her.

Not that her subconscious doesn't put up a good ol' fight. Hallucination!Kaz, you have to remember, isn't so much Kaz as he is a very precise amalgamation of her own memories and desires.

And boy, does he make a good argument:

The word want, again, spoken so directly here - it's that sort of straightforward speech that neither party is actually really capable of (at this point) in their arcs, not when it comes to each other.

Again, Kaz is behaving perfectly in the prescribed character of his hallucination persona - direct, confident, not rattled in the slightest.

It's interesting also that he doesn't say: this is real. He isn't able to lie to her in her own fantasy, but he does instead tell her exactly what she wants to hear, which is arguably even more dangerous.

And what I feel so terrible about is you can see this tiny little spark this little bit of hope on her face that she has.

She wants to believe this so so badly. She wants it, damn it!

So this time, she actually moves closer, crosses that distance between them. 

You can't see it super well in this gif, but you can see a little tiny muscle twitch in her jaw, a nervous swallow as she's bracing for him to kiss her the second time. And once again, Kaz isn't hesitating, there isn't any note of that discordant thing that they have in real life from his end.

Now another thing that drives me crazy is people claiming that they did kiss in the scene like bro. Bro. Freddy and Amita did not shoot this scene at no less three separate angles for you to tell us that they kissed!! They didn't kiss, they make it incredibly obvious that they did not kiss, and if you're the one person on planet Earth whose definition of a kiss is front lips brushing for .0000000002 seconds then I'm sorry, you belong to a different category, okay?

And again, that was on purpose! It totally would have defeated the purpose of this particular sequence if they had (and would've given detractors of this scene a real leg to stand on - again, more on that at the very end.)

But as it stands, they don't kiss, and that's also kind of critically why this isn't just a sexy scene to watch back.

AND THEN (I'm out of allowed images HAHA) she pulls away. And she says the words that end it all - This isn't real. This is the poison.

The premise of the hallucination is completely shattered, and she looks so heartbroken, but she's finally able to articulate what she's really known this whole time, and that is that nothing she's seeing is real. It is a lie being fed to her by her poison-addled brain as her body slowly succumbs and dies (dark).

But you know, she does get out of it through sheer willpower, and we love her for that - but oh man but what cost?

This particular sequence is definitely a catalyst for her changed behavior going forward. I do actually wish it had been a little better handled in the show (as in, better supported by dialogue in scenes before and after this one) but regardless - this scene is a Big Tipping Point and starts what is essentially a pseudo-regression arc for Inej (paraphrasing Amita directly, bc that's truly the most apt description of Inej's behavior for the rest of the season.)

It's really bad timing, unfortunately, because it happens just as Kaz is starting to open up like never before. He's starting to see the world in a completely different light while she's doing the exact opposite -- she is shutting down her own dreams and desires when it comes to him, because she's come to the conclusion that it's simply not going to happen.

And you know what, she's not entirely wrong for that assumption, but I do have beef with some of the particulars of how it was executed in the show. But that's a discussion for another day.

Now, onto a brief rant that I alluded to at the very start of this post - my single biggest grievance with fandom is that someone on the internet decided that this scene somehow ‘erased’ Inej’s trauma, when in fact that exact trauma is what underpins the whole damn thing.

The fact that this scene more or less parallels the passage from the books beat for beat, shows, in my opinion, that book fans who make these claims of 'erasure' must have deliberately chosen to ignore this passage from the books, or never even read it in the first place.

Because frankly? Once you take that passage into consideration, the intent of this sequence couldn't have been more obvious!

Just to underscore my point, I want to ask anyone who's reading this to please compare and contrast Inej’s hallucination with Matthias’ dream. If the intent, as many so often like to claim, was simply to make this moment in Inej’s mind a sexy, titillating scene, well then, it would have been shot a lot more closely to the way Matthias’ dream was shot: there's no lack of kissing and even implied penetration (!) which is crazy, because of course, Matthias and Nina have gotten nowhere near that in real life.

There's a sexual aspect to her dream, for sure, but it's not a stereotypically-passionate 'sex dream' so much as it is a thinly-veiled reading into her own desires and the inner turmoil that comes with it.

There's also a very subtle undercurrent here that I picked up on and explore in my ongoing fic , which is that Kaz, in these fantasies, is really always the one taking the lead, so to speak. Inej is not pulling him close or asking to kiss him - and we see that even when she consents to the act, she looks like she's bracing herself for it, rather than excited that it'll happen.

That is fueled no doubt by 1) her realizing it isn't real but also 2) the fact that she is still very much in the middle of her own trauma (having been freed like what? mere days ago? if that?)

Any concept of her own independent desire is still saddled with IMMENSE baggage - and this sequence showcases it perfectly.

I think after the fact, she's consciously aware of 1) but not yet aware of 2) which is beating around in her subconscious and is probably gonna cause her WAYY more problems going forward lol

TLDR; Inej doesn't know it just yet, but she's got loads of her own issues to work through, and until she does, she's going to be stuck in this weird purgatory of being a voyeur to/of her own desires.

[milolovesbmc]

RANT ON THE BOYF RIENDS BECAUSE I'M A WEIRDO LOL (Warning: RIDICULOUSLY LONG!)

I saw someone say something along the lines of "Boyf Riends just doesn't work on (the) Broadway (production)" so I'm now gonna rant about it cause I'm a weirdo and I love be more chill (Context, this was under a video with a whole bunch of drawings of Michael and Jeremy in different productions, so played by different actors! Someone commented "Someone should add Broadway" and the op replied with the line I first mentioned, no hate to this person, I'm just being a nerd, also if they see this, your art was amazing and I have nothing against you!!) But anyways this just set me off not a whole tageant about their dynamic, so be prepared for that!

So side note before I start ranting, I'm not saying this in a "Die-hard Boyf Riends shipper" way or something, more in a "the thing this person says makes no apparent sense (at least to me rn)" , also if you want to discuss this feel free to DM me and I'll happily hear you out, I might change my mind about this if someone gives me a good argument, who knows! I'm more than down to discussing this

So anyways, this point just doesn't make sense because of one simple thing: The show's plot and main story points don't change from one production to another. Sure, some details or even dialogue, might change! Hell, the addition of LGW in the Broadway/off-Broadway (?) Run gave as a totally different point of view into Jeremy's character and motivations! But that doesn't change the WHOLE story or the entirety of the perception x person may have on said main character. This just lets us dig a bit deeper into Jeremy's character and how he feels in the moment of making this huge decision of (basically) dumping Michael.

So into why Boyf Riends does/doesn't "work" (work meaning in this context that they fit together, or are fit for each other to put it some way)

I have to start off this by saying that their romantic relationship would not be the healthiest one to say the least. Like you can see this in the platonic relationship they have in the show! And, man, of course it won't be, they're 16! They do not know enough about relationships, neither platonic, romantic or anything in between. Not to say their relationship would be toxic! They just have some codependency issues to work through, because it may not be that apparent but they are, in fact, co-dependent to each other in some ways! They care A LOT about the other's opinion and what they would do in their place, this is shown more from Jeremy's side (probably because we're seeing the story though his lense) than Michael's, we can see this in MITB mainly, whole he's essentially having the breakdown of his life, and we aren't able to see that much of his concern for whether Jeremy likes him or not because he's so okay with himself, he doesn't care what other people think, he wouldn't change for anyone! Which is also why MITB is such an important arc to Michael, because we see that he's not perfectly 100% confident, he's vulnerable too, and he cares, because, shocker! He's still a teenager, with complicated feelings and problems!! He just doesn't constantly feed his insecurities and anxieties because, unlike Jeremy, he likes who he is, he's come to accept himself and wouldn't change for anyone! This latter point is very important, because this means (or at the very least implies) that he will put himself first, not in a selfish way, but in a good way, that's healthy! However, this changes in The Pants Song. You could argue that "He doesn't change anything about him tho! He just decides to help Jeremy!" And you'd be right! But he does so by putting Jeremy before himself and his feelings! Because he's angry, he's grieving because he didn't expect his best friend to turn on him, he needs to process it at least and he deserves to be upset! He insists on not helping him at first, but at last he's convinced by Mr.Heere and ends up, basically doing what Jeremy's father should have done. He basically goes out and saves everyone's ass, even after he gets called a loser on the Halloween party, essentially beat up by a SQUIP-possessed-but-still-Jeremy Jeremy during the play etc.

On Jeremy's side, he is kind of jealous of Michael! Because in Jeremy's eyes, Michael is cool! And he's great! And Jeremy can't process why Michael doesn't hate himself like he does, because the two of them share a lot of traits that Jeremy is bullied for! Because even if not shown, Michael is probably bullied too, but he doesn't pay it any mind, his love of himself is too strong to be affected by it! Jeremy, in some way, kind of looks up to Michael, this could partly also be because of a lack of a parental figure to look up to, but that's a whole other thing. This could affect his view on things, because you could argue that Jeremy sees the SQUIP as that "parental" figure to look up to! Because it knows what's best for him, or so it says, and it's gonna solve all off his problems! So during the bathroom intervention, Michael essentially goes against this idol figure Jeremy has (the SQUIP) which, in Jeremy's eyes, is good! So in that logic, Michael must be the bad person in this! Which is what prompts him to push him away (both literally and metaphorically). That wasn't the point I was discussing tho so back to that! Jeremy needs Michael's approval, he needs Michael to reassure that what he's doing is right! Because nobody else will do the things for Jeremy, not his father, that's for sure!

The problem is that, well, Michael doesn't completely get this! He doesn't get that Jeremy needs him to make the decision for him or help him out, so he just tries to distract him from it with the whole "Cool In College" thing, and at the same time, accidentally confirms his fears, never with that intention of course! But he does. A good example is these lines from Two Player Game: "Dude you are cooler than a vintage cassette, it's just that no one else but me thinks that yet! You're just a nothing in this high school scheme [...]"

Is Michael saying Jeremy's fine the way he is? Yeah! You can understand that from his speech! Will Jeremy most probably just pick up on how he says nobody else thinks that? Also yes

So in conclusion, to end this all off because I'm writing this at 1 in the morning, Michael and Jeremy's relationship does have flaws, it has it's positive and negative aspects, but they can work through them! And about the whole SQUIP incident, I think they just need to actually talk about it and understand why they both did what they did (Mainly for Jeremy's part) and just move on forward! Could moving on forward mean going into a romantic relationship? Sure! It can be whatever kind of relationship you want! Can it also just continue to be platonic/friendship? Sure! Could both work out equally well? YEP! At least from my point of view!

Thanks for listening to me rant, I just have to say this probably went way off rail from what I was saying at the start and might feel kinda pointless, but again, it is 1 am and I'm not reading this again, I hope you can at least enjoy it! :)

[whereispalmer]

▵ A flight of Fancy

☉ for the ask game

▵ pick a fic and I’ll tell you my favorite line

For A flight of fancy:

In the chapter that is already posted I have a couple:

"He smiles down at him. Giggles, incredulous, astonished, with nothing to say; then bows down to kiss his forehead "

or

"And he looks fucking ridiculous and alive and maybe a bit angelic"

But the fave in general is probably

"It’s only when it turns filthy that he wonders, if he’s committing a sin of the highest order."

Honourable mention this exchange:

"I’m going to go back into the bathroom, because, let’s say, I forgot my glasses there, and when I come back here, if you’re not gone, I’m going to kick you out."

Ayrton raises a cheeky eyebrow, still browsing Alain’s documents.

"Your glasses are on the nightstand. You look very funny with them.

And in the one I'll be posting soon (special gift just for u) :

"Ayrton, mon coeur, what the fuck are you talking about?"

☉ what do you do when you get stuck writing?

I have some tactics: I try to push through (not too effective), or I try to write a very fast summary of what I want the chapter/scene to be, or what I'm trying to convey or what I want to happen, and then extend on it on the same page using it as reference. Sometimes I just write dialogue (is what I enjoy the most) and then let the prose follow.

When nothing else works I go back to the outline and reread what I'm supossed to be doing, or what's my goal with an specific scene (for example stablishing a dynamic) and try to build from there. Basically think about the whole thing as a formula (?) and about what I need to prepare to get a result. Then brainstorm scene starts or snippets until I get one I feel like continuing. Rereading previous chapters help because I remember bits I felt were important, and helps going back to the voice or a specific character or see the whole plot with more perspective.

I put some music on (I have a playlist for 3 points for example) that fits the vibe I want and then write what comes to mind and worry about fixing it later.

Mostly I get stuck when I don't know where I am going or how to set up something, so all of this can fix it.

When is just stuck as writer block, I just either write something else or leave it be for a couple days and try to watch some movies, read, find inspiration somewhere else. Or try to make it fun, for example change the genre (if you're writing a tragedy make the new chapter a comedy, and then turn it back into a tragedy using the plot points you got done)

I'm stuck in my comic rn for example and I think it is 1. I feel overhwelmed by everything I want the story to be, 2. it's been a while so I need to go back to it 3. the style is not working (I'm writing it as a script).

Solving this is more difficult, the advice I was given was: set a day and spend the whole of it thinking about your story, and like, you NEED to have SOMETHING, ANYTHING by the end. But I still haven't gotten around to do it.

I think it's basically just write, even if it's not good, if you have SOMETHING you can work with it. If you don't well. Nothing to do.

Sorry this got LONG AF but thanks for the ask <3<3<3

Just because I'm curious, do you have any fave line in A flight of fancy or 3 points? Or one that stuck with you?

[starkwing-co]

IMPORTANT BLOG UPDATE

Heads up, everyone, I'm sorry for disappearing from Tumblr... I had my first uni exam session and let's just say my mental well-being plummeted to an absolute low...

Right now I don't feel any better tbh but I do have some announcements to share with you: next post is going to be some old-ish concept art made for my work in 2023 and then...

There gonna be some changes... BIG changes!

Over the last 4 months I got back to the fandom I started following more than 6 years ago, a beloved childhood classic for me that's still going strong and expanding its universe and audience... Haven't made basically any fanart back then so now I have plenty of ideas to realize with my current (still lacking but tangible) skill level... Be prepared for fanart dump soon of the characters you've probably never seen or heard before! Hope I'll turn some of you folks into newly made fans with my doodles, AUs and crossovers aplenty (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

As for my long-term goals in 2025, the one big thing I really want to (at least start to) do is making new banner and profile artwork for my socials (haven't updated it in 2 years, the one I'm using rn is just cropped artwork from 2023 if you remember it) It's going to have at least 5 alternative versions for holidays and other special occasions <3

Hopefully, you don't mind my current shift in art direction and irregular schedule (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠) It's not like I'm abandoning my previous interests, I simply don't have enough time and creative energy to dedicate to each one an equal fraction of my (already terribly limited) leisure time all at once so I'll have to switch gears from time to time (⁠ ⁠T⁠_⁠T⁠)⁠＼⁠(⁠^⁠-⁠^⁠ ⁠)

Good luck out there,

yours truly, Alex Starkwing ⊂⁠(⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠⊂⁠ ⁠)⁠*⁠.⁠✧

[rebellum]

Hmm. Ruh roh.

I have a complicated relationship with Christianity, and I primarily identify as pagan, right?

And like my sect of Christianity, the one that I was born into and that my mums side of the family practises, is VERY good. Like a "we need to protect trans kids from bigots" and "its our duty to uplift Indigenous voices" kind of sect. Very progressive.

And my complicated relationship is because OTHER people ruined it for me, Christians who use Christianity to justify hurting so so so many people.

But every once in a while I get more into it and think about it more

And i do think overall I want to reconcile with it and be Christian again/be more Christian/however I should phrase it.

And my boyfriend is anti-organised religion in a way that i very much respect and I agree with most of his points on it

But I asked him earlier this evening how he would react if I became really Christian

And he.. didn't really BADLY. But he didn't react well? He was basically like "there would be multiple caveats" (including not raising our child christian) but that its not like he would stop me.

But he took a while to think about it

Enough that i started getting really concerned about it

And idk I'm.. feeling.. some kind of way.

Because rn I'm primarily pagan, and our compromise for future children (which i would have done anyways) is that i can teach our kid pagan stuff but that if they don't want to do something or don't believe in something, I don't push it. Which yeah I wasn't gonna push it anyways. I am pretty sure even if I raise my kid pagan they are probably NOT going to identify as a pagan as an adult. The world is trending more towards secularism. And as long as the core values are the same (eg understanding we are part of the ecosystem, as humans we have a duty to help care for the earth, don't do things like chop a bunch of trees down just to kill them for funsies) then I'm completely, utterly fine with that.

But now I'm like. Hmm. In our last conversation about paganism and our child, what if we were on different pages? And he saw it as being like:

Kid: what are you doing?

Me: I'm preparing an offering to the local spirits :)

Kid: okay! *walks away*

Whereas I see it as:

Me: okay let's make an offering to the local spirits now! They are the trees and the mountain and the river, and it's important to protect the spirits of the land and show respect to them. This is one way we can do that, I'll show you.

My kid: okay

[Alternative: my kid: i don't wanna do that. Me: that's alright, you don't have to.]

And he completely respects my paganism but now I'm worried if he would respect my Christianity? Or ask me to literally never mention it around him?

Cause like.. idk. That would make me feel. Bad. Like I'm hiding a major part of myself.

But also, it's not like I talk to him about pagan stuff right now! Unless I know someone else is pagan, or is actively interested in hearing about my practices, I basically never mention my spirituality. So I can't imagine it would be much different if I were Christian and pagan.

But... ahhhhhh. I guess I'll have a think about it and think about how i feel and talk with him more about it some time. But I'm not even sure what more there would be to talk about. But it would probably be good to bring it up to him so he knows what I'm feeling.

[h34vybottom]

Gonna be mean real quick. Context is that this is from a post about Cait Corrain, an author who went on a racist offensive against BIPOC indipendent authors. There's a lot more to this, of which you can probably just check Xiran Jay Zhao's Twitter for more information, given that they're directly involved in this. Xiran is the focus of this post btw, not like directly, they've done no wrong. I will however be bitching about a person's bad post. So there you go. Context is context. I'm frankly kind of too annoyed to properly be a bitch to someone rn (very rare!) hence all of this.

Post in question is a reblog of a much larger post about Corrain, though it's (in tumblr fashion) just screenshots of a Twitter post that features screenshots from Twitter. Here you go:

Now let me pinpoint my issues w/ these notes.

Inserting proship/antiship bullshit into an actual, serious conversation about white supremacy and racism as a whole

Using the wrong pronouns for a semi-public figure who you can just like. Search up their profile on socials. For free. It's not hard.

Gonna start on the second point. I'm not going to be too harsh here as I get that actually doing basic shit like looking at someone's Twitter bio is tedious but like. It's so easy to find. You don't even have to be logged in. You can just search their name. I don't even watch Xiran's videos and I've never read one of their books but all it took was me looking at their fucking biography. Not actually hard mate.

Onto the main point. Inserting fandom bullshit discourse into a very serious conversation about such an important topic w/ very real victims is just. Like actually maybe go fuck yourself? Fishing for reasons to hate on Xiran is fucking bonkers shit too. Like actually seriously get help. This is some perfect victim type shit yall are doing. Let's just clear some shit up right fast: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PROSHIP. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ANTISHIP. Are we clear? I think we're clear. If you're going to try to argue w/ me about this prepare to get fucking insulted. There are real problems in this world that end people's lives and yall have to invent fake reasons to hate another person. That's some real penis behaviour. Grow the fuck up.

[kohaioi]

heck yeah am i ready for another essay 🎉🎉 i probably wont be able to read it until im done w school but i will be excited hehehehe

OK THEN i'll so it now so u can see it as soon as school ends! also why the hell are u going to school isn't it still summer. fuck the people who are making u go to school like what the hell is wrong w them ANYWAYS prepare urself for a um. pretty long essay ^^;

OK THEN let's start w the basics as always! :D hop like marnie is one of the three rivals protagonist has in swsh but unlike marnie he's the main rival! u probably know abt main rivals in pokemon games yes u do 👍👍 and if u don't. it's just the rival that is more important. ofc there's only been main rivals since like. xy i think? bc earlier there was only like one rival or maybe two. i think it was in uno a actually ANYWAYS i'm just boring u rn so i'll move on fkhdjdk SO as i said hop is protagonist's main rival and BOOM his brother is the champion of the region. yup just like that. he's called leon btw but this ain't abt him 😒😒 AHEM SO hop and protagonist too live in the first town in the game called postwick! they're literally the only people who live there. which is pretty funny considering there's literally another village like. 20 meters away but wtv pokemon can do wtv they want dkhfjd i just realized that if i tell u EVERYTHING abt hop this won't be an essay but a research work so i'll try and stay brief in the least important parts! OK SO protagonist's seeing a match between leon and his rival aka dragon type gym leader raihan and he comes over saying leon's gonna arrive soon so u both go out BUT just outside protagonist's house there's this fence that leads to a very creepy forest called slumbering weald and oh no! a wooloo (aka sheep pokemon) is using tackle against it! obviously it's bound to open at some point BUT that comes later 👍👍 SO leon arrives gives protagonist and hop a starter and that's when hop brings up the gym challenge! u see unlike other regions in galar u need someone important from the league to recommend u so u can participate in the gym challenge and Yes obviously leon's gonna recommend u BUT NOT YET!!!!!!! after that it's made clear that hop rlly wants to defeat leon and become the new champion but um. if u have basic pokemon knowledge u know that protagonist ALWAYS becomes the champion. and in this game specifically all the rivals want to be champions so the protagonist rlly does shatter their dreams ^^; but we don't talk abt that HAHA OK u have ur first battle w hop and just after that the wooloo opens the fence and enters the slumbering weald! and protagonist and hop don't think abt the risk of going in there bc they're heroic and stupid sighs. so they enter and there's a lot of fog and OH MY GOD IS THAT THE LEGENDARY DOG FROM THE COVER OF THE GAME yes it is! depending on the game u've chosen either zacian or zamazenta appear BUT in their normal forms w/o the sword and shield respectively! the fog gets horrible and protagonist and hop faint and oh no it's the end! but no bc leon exists and he saves them AND the wooloo 🙄🙄 ok i might have a bit of hatred towards leon BUT THIS AIN'T ABT HIM ANYWAYS protagonist gets a pokedex, fights hop and they get the recommendation from leon and so u leave the village to go to the opening ceremony in motostoke! u arrive there and reach the fire type gym to get ur league number and participate in the gym challenge and um. w-well. remember how i said this was the time when protagonist met marnie? but u didn't have to talk to her right then if u didn't want to? well u see i also said that's when protagonist meets me/bede and this time it is mandatory to interact. kind of. i don't think that was interacting ANYWAYS let's just say me and hop don't rlly get along very well during the gym challenge ^^; i'll have to talk abt The Thing later....... BUT THAT'S LATER OK? OK THAT'S SETTLED THEN ANYWAYS protagonist goes to the opening ceremony and then battles hop and he gives the protagonist.......

ta-da! his beautiful league card <3 i mean srsly isn't he the most beautiful guy ever And i think i'll shut up now bc i'm not gay COUGHS so protagonist does the gym challenge like normal, hop goes his own way and just like that ur already back in motostoke bc NO the fire type gym isn't the first gym but the third for. reasons. both of them win and now they're both on their way to hammerlocke to continue w the challenge BUT. but. what a powerful word am i right? just by saying it yk smth's gonna happen. and smth DOES happen. um. well i uhhhhhh how do i put this. maybe if i just don't say it hahahaha 😁😁 OH BUT I HAVE TO THIS IS A PART OF HOP'S LORE AFTER ALL....... OK FINE ibedeappearoutofnowherestartinsultinghopwehaveabattlehelosesisayhesdraggingleonsnamethruthemudandthenleave PHEW OK that was easier than i thought <- almost started crying while typing it SO UM yeah the thing changes hop completely and it's all my fault :') dies WE IGNORE THAT EPISODE OF MY LIFE AND THE GYM CHALLENGE BC IT WAS HORRIBLE OK THANK U anyways after The Incident hop becomes more doubtful abt how good he is in pokemon battles and in general he's less cheery and all :c i actually haven't explained abt his personality yet so this is the perfect time! so like every other main rival he's a happy and mostly hyperactive individual who's also impatient! he also loves leon bc he's his hero and all that :] wldn't u say he's the most adorable ever Dies anyways and after all this i've told u well yeah he's sadder it's all super sad and i swear that part of the game is super depressing and everytime i replay the game i start crying BUT we're here to learn abt hop and not abt bee crying over hop during the gym challenge DO BACK TO THE THING from there his pokemon team changes constantly and he even stops having wooloo (aka the pokemon he's had since he was like five) in his team to see if he gets better in pokemon battles :') he's not even bad in battles but his rival is the future champion of the region and he just fought against a future fairy type gym leader so uh. yeah kfhdjdj ANYWAYS he's down for a bit BUT THEN after protagonist defeat the rock or ice type gym leader (depending on the game) he's happy again and everyone's happy too and i cry bc he's just so dkfjksjdkskd :') i lvoe him I MEAN nothing hahahaha ahem so after all that protagonist defeats some more gym leaders and eventually reaches the last city in the game in which the semifinals are taking place! BUT BEFORE THEY START there's this dialogue w hop.......

screenshots from my very own switch bc i'm insane. u see i haven't said it but a bit after The Incident i go batshit and decide to destroy this mural in a village. there's an explanation i swear i'm not insane fkhfjdj back then i worked for the chairman and he wanted to collect wishing stars and what is that u may wonder! well to stay short they make dynamaxing possible! but the chairman is using them for..... smth else. that i'll explain later SO since wishing stars are in caves i decide that it's a great idea to fucking destroy a mural! it actually pays off bc there's some important statues beneath it BUT the chairman doesn't like it and BOOM ur no longer in the gym challenge koha basically ur dad just expelled u 👍👍 but that's for another time fuck rose ANYWAYS as u can see he doesn't even hate me. WHAT IS WRONG W HIM i hate him (i'm in love w him) ANYWAYS protagonists defeats him and just like that breaks hop's dreams :') so basically the only character his age that doesn't hurt him at some point is marnie! way to go my girl ur the best 🫶🫶 but yeah some stuff after that happen and when protagonist goes to fight leon the chairman goes BAM and he wakes up this alien pokemon w all the wishing starts he's collected and everything goes a bit insane BUT during the story (i haven't mentioned it bc this wld end up being too long altho this is already horribly long but too late now fkdhjdjs) protagonist and hop learn abt the story abt galar and oh! there's this two heroes w zacian and zamazenta! and so they both go back to the slumbering weald get the rusted sword and shield to see if they can summon them and so they go to hammerlocke where the chairman is defeat him and then go fight the alien pokemon aka eternatus bc leon fainted while trying to catch it w a pokeball. who tf tries to catch such a powerful pokemon w a POKEBALL. but anyways zacian and zamazenta appear but they look cooler thanks to the rusted sword and shield and they defeat eternatus and three days pass protagonist defeats leon and becomes the champion OK so after that everything goes back to normal but now hop feels like he's a burden to everyone bc everyone's become super cool things and all that but at the end of the post game he catches zacian or zamazenta depending on the game and becomes the assistant professor!! so after all this u get that he's very cheery yet insecure. which is strangely like me. but that's NEVER happening ok? ok NOW random facts. i think i've given u all the possible random facts EXCEPT for the league number one! his league number can be read as hiyaku in japanese which means jump and well. that makes a lot of sense fkdhjfjs OH ALSO

THE CUTIE 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 TYE MOST BEAUTIFUL EVER 💕💘💝💞♥️💘❣️💘♥️💘💝💕💘💖💖💘💝💘♥️💞💗💘💗💗💞❣️💘♥️💘💝💘💕💖💘💖💕💘💝💘💕💖💘💝💞💝💘💕💕💘💝💝💞💕💘💝💕💘💝

SO and let's finish this like an essay ahem in light of the above it's blatantly obvious that i'm not very sane abt hop hope this helps 👍👍 some things rlly didn't make sense so if u want an essay abt me/bede or abt the galar story pls tell me and i'll go insane just for u again <3 now if u'll excuse me i need a break flops over and dies

[cryptidwithaninternetconnection]

Dark-pre escape lore post bc I decided that was Important :)

So before Dark was found by the scientists they were in a group home as they had no parents due to being a living shadow, this time lasted until they were 2 human years old when they were found by a researcher that worked for the lab as a summer job, this researcher thought Dark was homeless and brought them to the lab.

This researcher meant good but ultimately made Darks childhood wildly difficult, things like unnecessarily difficult training sprung onto Dark at 4 Demon years, absolutely zero school (hence why Dark can’t read along with their difficulties in school) because the scientists thought Dark would never need that because why would a monster need to be taught basic addition? (Dw Dark learns very quickly and is in school rn, just held back several grades) and before Dark was able to lock away their Magic and cease the training, they were already badly scarred all over (they use glamour magic to hide these to keep from people around them from being worried)

Dark in the present claims to have nothing to hide, but they have a lot to hide, such as: Scars all over their body, a brand-scar on their forehead in the shape of an eclipse (a sideways crescent moon), a nick on one ear, two in the other from experiment-battles, something done by the researchers for amusement and to see what experiments were worth spending more time and serums on, Dark often lost due to having no magic when these battles were made when they were 6 years old in demon years.

When Darks magic was first sealed it was in the middle of a final test when they were 5 in demon years, it was to see if Dark was ready for their biggest mission yet. (This is where the Weapon au I have and this au branch off) during the test, which was Dark using magic to fight against a robot designed to mimic Red Son, this mission of their being to kill Red Son and burn down the palace. In the middle of the fight Dark abruptly stopped using magic and got pummeled by the robot, suffering serious burn scars along their torso and left leg.

After they regained consciousness after the fight, they were berated by the scientists and researchers for suddenly not using magic, after many tests were conducted with tech instead of serums, the researchers figured out that Darks magic was unconsciously locked away, possibly permanently, this caused both parties to begin neglecting Dark badly, often forgetting to feed them or even let them out of their cage for weeks on end before the Lab Break conducted by the Explosive experiment, Regimond (who won’t get as much a backstory as there isn’t much to their story).

Regimond hated how things were in the lab and decided to bust out using the brief training time without power-suppressing cuffs every experiment except Dark had. This break-out led to several scientists and researchers dead and burnt to a crisp, both Dark and Regimond seeing hundreds or thousands if experiments dead and rotting in their cages, starved to death. The breakout caused Dark to develop some small magic, only enough for a glamor.

After the duo broke out (they were the only survivors of the Scientists protest to the breakout) they gazed upon Megapolis’s lights for the first time, Regimond being allowed to leave periodically so they had seen them before, but Dark hadn’t, they loved the city lights but had to turn away in fear of being caught once more, Regimond splitting up to start their life in the city, having prepared for years to bust out.

Aaaaand that’s about it! What do you guys think? Note that I didn’t say the lab was gone for good :)

And btw for a bit of a timeline, Dark broke out in May a year before the show starts, finding Reds palace and hiding in it at the beginning of may of the next year, interacting with Red for the first time post-Spider Queen

And if you wonder how things were post-breakout but before Red Son? Dark simply wandered around aimlessly, learning from a book Regimond had given them before leaving on Foraging and how to tell what was poisonous and what was safe. And eventually found the palace and hid there, stealing their iconic outfit of dark blue shorts and the red sweater.

@coolbutnotthere @cats-and-confusion I did a thing :3

[lemonellaaaat]

trying to get better at rambling here please bear with me LMAO

okey. so I've had the idea for an oc (and also an entire world) bouncing around my skull for literally YEARS at this point and I got sad that I hadn't done much so!

I've decided to call the story 'Scarred Hands and Battered Hearts' because I think it sounds cool idk (also so I had something to tag it as) I don't really know WHAT I want to do with it yet because as much as I'd love to make it a webcomic or animate bits or do anything, I also know myself and my lack of motivation :'')

anyways I just really like the tagging system here even though I don't really know how to use it effectively for much but I want to use it to be able to ramble about things (like my ocs or aus) and still have it all in one place

none of this is complete/set in stone but here's what I have in my notes app rn

This is kind of an overview of the main character and names and stuff. The basic premise is superhero/supervillain world except the biggest baddest villian is actually a depressed teenager

Also a note: the only reason I even have a deadbane for him is because I started this idea before I picked a new name but after I realized what flavor of transgender I was, and it was really important to me to have a very trans character that doesn't have a new name yet. I don't think I'll ever "reveal" his deadbane or anything because. gross and also transphobia. But I wanted something to flesh out his character and be consistent

I started figuring out a timeline and this is it rn

two notes for this:

1. When I say "see" atoms I imagine it to be similar to when you can see dust in the light. It's something you can definitely see if you look for it, but it's also easily enough to look past

2. "Bird guy" is also "SUPERHERO" I just haven't the faintest idea what I want his name to be yet. He'd be the #1 hero but also just like. A middle-aged guy who genuinely wants the best for people (and struggles with the inevitable corruption with heros)

I want him to have wings,,, and have him do random bird habits like chirping y'know the like :3

My og plan for wren's design was to have him in a plage doctor's mask and thus he is bird aligned and the hero will have to fight his instincts (expecially after seeing how young Wren is)

Eventually I realized I don't fucking know how to draw a plauge doctor's mask (and I still don't) so now he has goggles and a gas mask (both if which I love drawing)

I still want to have the hero compare Wren to a baby bird at some point but I'm not sure how

Side note but Bird hero man is gay!! He's gonna be uselessly pining after a different guy and Wren is going to be a little shit and try to set them up (post bonding arc and while complaining about now understanding romance (he's aroace))

It's insane how much if their dynamic I have planned out without even having figured out one of their names 😭 I fear I'm doomed

Actually another thing. I don't fucking know how big of an explosion splitting a singular atom would cause. I don't know if that's something that's reasonable for a young child to survive.

A lot of the chemistry in this is kind of made up because it's so specific it's hard to research 😭 I may be in two chemistry classes as I type this, but they're not preparing me for this

Uhhhh not really sure if I have much more to say? I'll link his Pinterest which is kind of a mess because there's like. 4 very distinctive styles I have in mind for him and none of them blend well

One being how he'd be dressed, like by his parents. So very fem and covering. Second is how he dressed his self while out, more masc. Third is what he'd wear casually around the house, with no care about it being reveling (for hiding his scars wise I don't remember if I mentioned that) and the fourth would be his villian getup

Also his Spotify playlist (random songs that remind me of his)

I have so many animatics in mind I'm suffering so bad

oh also! The only art I've ever done for this was a ref sheet for Wren but it's bad, old, and not actuate (I hated it from the moment I finished it :/) but I've been working on a new ref for him the last little bit and I'm so excited it looks so cool

I'll try to finish it within the next week or two 🫡

Think the ramble NEEDS to be over now because it's after midnight and I have school tomorrow lol I'm so normal about all of this I think I need to be lobotomized /silly

[coconutcows]

if you dont mind the ask, what happened with you 2? you said you talk to them every day so that must be hard

Hello Anon, no I don’t mind lol, the thing is I don’t Fully know??? And that’s a big part of what makes it hard.

From what they told me I didn’t do anything it’s just them, they had to break up with me for personal reasons. But I also know they always tried their best not to upset me or make me cry so I know there’s a very low chance of them actually telling me if I did something. So for me on my end, everything was going well, our relationship was at its best I thought, then it suddenly felt like they couldn’t be around me and then they had to leave. And that’s okay, as painful as it was (and still is truthfully) it’s just…what happened. They’ve said some things after some time about coming back tho I don’t know if they still feel that way. Our relationship did happen kind of rushed, even if it did last over five years and was good. It was still rushed.

There’s a 2.5 year age difference between us, they’d only been out of high school about a year and I was stunted due to my depression I’ve had since… 5th grade if I think about it. At the beginning they wanted a long term relationship but I think as it went on it was a situation of too serious too soon maybe. That maybe that wasn’t fully what they wanted, or what they want right now changed. Idk

Talking to them everyday isn’t the hard part though. Now if they had another partner, yeah it definitely would be, seeing someone else in that position wondering what you did to fall out of that position. But aa far as I know that’s not the situation rn. And I like checking in on them, making sure they’re doing okay because they still are and always will be extremely important to me. I like hearing them talk about the games they’re playing, they send me memes, seeing how the weather is where they are etc. and I send pictures of our cat (my moms and mine) and my shiny Pokémon, and some pictures and memes. We talked about more stuff before when we were together but I don’t want to overstep anything so I try to just stick to basic small talk stuff.

Anyways yeah I have hope, but I’m doing my best not to get them up too much, and to be prepared to fully let them go someday. But they’ll always have a piece of my heart, and if they do want to come back and try again whether it’s in two months or ten years my arms will be open.

[marzipanilla]

fr I am just staring at the trajectory of things like 'is this... worth it?' if this is your big hype moment you have failed to inspire me

I keep seeing people be like 'the real story of Invincible is about to start!' and I'm just like. we cannot have had three seasons of nothing. if everything that happened prior you find irrelevant and the 'real' story starts now, then nothing fucking matters. Because what happened before should inform what happens next! If you do not think anything that happened up until this moment is relevant than what?? I feel like that has to be people who are just looking forward to certain fight scenes, and I cannot fathom how they are looking forward to them when most of the fight scenes in this show aren't that great. You are probably better off just looking at the choreography from the comic at this point!

Mark having so few confrontations with his other version and literally all of them being 'WHO SENT YOU' is so wild. Each one could have genuinely been a mirror darkly moment into his life and nah. he's just yelling the most basic ass question (Which he already knows the answers to!) at them and... not really dealing with them at all. Like??? he was flying around for 24hours and only has a conversation with THREE of them ?? and then he went into bunker mode w Eve and like -.- There's being a stupid teenager defense, but you could have played him refusing to leave her side as also a manifestation of his fears about everyone else! Eve is injured but she's HERE. if I go out there and look for my missing family they could be DEAD when I find them and I would rather they stay missing instead of that ! But no. he is so in love he cannot fathom walking away from her. like, you tried too hard to insist they cared about each other this season and you failed at delivering on that so his decision to sit by her is made even worse by your failure to make me believe they are that in like with each other.

Oh I have a bajillion alternate stuff running around my head too, but like.. I'm just backburning them. if I ever indulge in my 'rewriting the whole series from the ground up' AU I'll throw them in there. the mark/william shippers are out in force, they can party rn, I'm just going back to staring at the wall with my empty party cup.

Yeah my frustrations are more broad, as making Mark more dynamic is just an important facet to me bc I find his parents the more intriguing part of the narrative for me- and if their son isn't interesting it just flattens them as people. But I more or less anticipated the bs with Debbie this season, as god forbid a middle aged woman be anything other than someone's mommy. But I am very used middle aged woman getting treated like garbage/ignored by the narrative, so it's just like. no surprise there. S1 just set such beautiful precedence for the potential of rewrites that seeing all that potential get washed down the drain is baffling. I honestly need to look up the writers involved and see if the ones from S1 are just gone for some reason...

I have seen so many people talk about how they love Rex and his character development was great and they couldn't wait to see more of him and after hating him in S1 they loved him so much now- and it's just like ! be prepared for all that effort to be meaningless! bc he and Mark didn't have much of a dynamic and this story is about Mark so the people who died should be relevant to him and his issues but he wasn't ! so ! have fun with a character who was given more depth just to be put down.

People talk a lot about this comic/show as one that doesn't pull its punches/lets people die, and I just... yes, there are perma deaths, but they come after so many fucking fake-outs and 'why the fuck are you still alive(derogatory)' that when people finally die it isn't shocking, it's just 'why the fuck didn't this happen sooner?' which if I felt that way about the comic variants idk how I'm coming to feel about the show variants. 'cause like I said, I just never invested in Rex bc I knew what was happening. and it is totally possible to get invested in a character even knowing they're going to die! but it should be relevant. maybe they'll pull something out of their ass next ep to make Mark feel something about it.

I realized part of the reason things felt so meh in the world destruction sections.

There are no people. Look, the rotoscope crowds in S1 had their issues, but there were civilians and mobs and casualties ! There was literally maybe a handful of folks depicted at all here? The cities were totally empty. There were no crowds. There were no people. just rubble no blood. Just a handful of heroes we've never seen in these tiny arenas to show them dying. I don't care if your background painting of a monument blew up, there were no civilians or citizens or people around to show me that was anything other than a toy model. I hope to god the fight with Conquest next ep isn't just him and Mark punching each other through an empty world.

Yeah I am still struggling to see how 'I accidentally killed a guy' followed up by 'I deliberately wanted to kill him but couldn't' was supposed to be satisfying to see. Again, them trying to act like Mark finally making the conscious decision to kill is undercut by literally everything that happened prior this season. We NEEDED him to talk about merking all those multi-pauls. we NEEDED him to talk about what killing Immortal meant as something other than 'apparently im emperor in the future' bc you have no context for that but you did JUST KILL A GUY. and then powerplex's whole family gets fried in front of him !! like !! what does Mark actually think about all this ?? oh ?? we're not going to talk about it ?? him giving a whole ass speech to that man about the people he could save instantly followed up by him refusing to save ppl to sit next to Eve. just... what.

WHY DIDN'T THIS SEASON OPEN W POWERPLEX. why wasn't Mark determined TO SAVE people to the point of destruction and death bc he wasn't killing just one guy (seismic, the maulers.. tho I dont think the maulers killed anyone THIS season as their gun just stunned ppl lol- I mean they were planning on it! but Oliver arguably killing the guys who were shown being the least bloodthristy is so funny) through the course of his encounters this season. why weren't his morals being questioned every step of the way. why wasn't deciding to kill Levy a moment of something snapping in him !!! instead of just... bonk, robot got you! now a man who can and will stalk and torment you got away. and you don't know that he got taken care of! wonder if paranoia about him returning will come up at all! probably not !!

Mark agreeing to go hang out on a beach w Debbie instead of refusing and the beach is Beach City (am now officially thinking too much about this crossover lol)

The way I got caught up on our back and forth I almost forgot this, lol! AND OH MY GOODNESS, IMAGINE? I forget exactly what which point Debbie makes the beach offer, but I’d love when exactly in SU/SUF-timeline they’d go? There’s something so fucking funny to me about them going during the SUF-timeline and always narrowly missing the strange, Steven-shaped mental breakdowns in the back. I know those don’t occur in a single day, but it’s tickling me. How could they miss anything? I don’t know I just think it’s funny.

Though, post-SUF is interesting if Gems can see the similar “world on your shoulders”, Mark has going on! Steven can shunt the narrative in the Gems’ minds, which I think is neat, if I’m not misusing the phrase since the guy’s on the road far away. Or maybe it’s just before Steven goes and they stumble into each other. I’d kinda love Pearl and Debbie interacting, honestly, if they could talk about loving someone who hurt you, hide things from you, even when you thought you knew them so deeply, and they left you to raise a child. Pearl being in a well adjusted space, and Debbie still grieving.

Honestly, the gems could help train Mark, they’re got experience and similar-ish powers in strength, sturdiness, and they can jump/run fast enough for flying to be vaguely similar enough to lecture about, I think. Or Lapis Lazulis, haha! Peridot with her trash can lid! Garnet, I’d love to see if she told Mark anything about his future in vague, well meaning advice. Or even giving relationship advice considering Amber. Or, importantly, how to convince an entire reign to end their colonizing ways, lol. Is Mark perhaps willing to start a war, take advantage of being related to any leaders, or fake his own death to varying results?

In general, there’s something so fucking funny to me about Nolan, in the sake of comparison, being Pink Diamond coded. Like OH, did an important or well respected of the colonizing empire come to earth and learn the beauty of its people and nature, including faking/lying/omitting things about his identity and background to being in, only to feel conflicted when his responsibility still remained, and he tried to free himself from them? Yikes! We’ve been through that before! Like gimme Pink Diamond and Nolan outfit swap rn. This is tickling me so much oh my goodness.