#(it...does not necessarily make it less gay)

[menlove]

Hello! I saw your post about how you deeply believe that John and Paul had sex frequently, and honestly I'm on the fence on whether or not I believe that they did. I was wondering if there were any particular reasons as to why you believe this or if it was just a feeling lol.

there's fsdfasdadf a lot To Me that convinces me but i'm not sure how solid it is so i'd say it's Mostly a feeling/vibe but i'll work through my reasoning under the cut (separated into The Vibes and then actual shit they've said/done that makes me go uh. hm.)

disclaimer: obviously i can't know if they fucked. at the end of the day it truly does not have any impact on my life if they did or not. this is also solely getting into whether or not they fucked, not the rest of the crazy shit they had going on bc that would genuinely take a 1000 page novel. i'm also not getting into proof about either one of them having gay sex bc if we take them both at face value that answer is a resounding "no" and this isn't about proving their queerness

i will say first of all we know for a fact they jerked off together & had sex in the same bed so i'm gonna go ahead and count that as sex bc it's 2025 and queer people have made leaps and bounds away from considering penetrative sex the only kind of sex that exists. but i don't think they would've considered either of those things sex. but in my view? that was sex. does also mean they've had sex with the other quarrymen though #happypride

vibes

first of for me is their personalities/circumstances. i mean it's obviously all very nuanced and i never knew them so there's aspects to their personalities that we obviously aren't privy to. but they were both very sexual people with incredibly loose sexual boundaries, neither of whom really ever had (or at least expressed) religious hangups around sex, and who were Both at the like forefront of the whole changing culture of the 60s to become freer, looser, less repressed. obviously them being free with heterosexual sex doesn't automatically equate to them having the same feelings about homosexual sex, but it's a factor in the way i think about it anyway.

we already know they were loose with sex with Each Other as well. there's ofc the beat the meatles thing (group wanking with the quarrymen/early beatles) but there's also the fact that they'd all have sex in the same tiny ass room in hamburg & the fact that john and paul allegedly had a foursome with a couple of girls whose pictures they took back in liverpool (on the same bed). again, that doesn't Necessarily translate to "yeah they'd have gay sex" but it just sets up that they weren't really prudish about sex and they weren't shy about having sex around/near each other. there's ALSO a different version of the story john told to pete floating around somewhere (can't find it rn so don't quote me on this) where in addition to everything else he mentions it (as in letting brian jerk him off) not being different than what he does with his friends. which does also implicate everyone Else, not just paul, but it's interesting.

i just do Not think that john would've had the self restraint to not make a move on paul if he wanted to. and from Well Everything, we can tell that he wanted to. john wasn't someone who had a lot of self control & i don't think his relationship to paul being "too important" or anything like that would've stopped him either. and i think if he'd made a move & paul shot him down, we would have never heard the end of it and there would've never been the beatles in the first place bc i don't think john would've taken it well at all. on paul's end, i can't see him turning john down either. if they were already jerking off together, potentially jerking each other off, having sex in the same bed, etc, i don't think it's a stretch to say he wouldn't have shoved john off for going further. and again, if he had, there would've been a more dramatic reaction. which means either john Never made a move, or he did & paul went with it.

ofc there's the whole india theory but i do not buy into that even remotely and i'm not getting into why again but tl;dr i just don't think it would be in character for Either of them to have this big dramatic rejection of john's feelings and for john to wait and simmer in it for 2 years before breaking up the band. i think if anything like that happened he would've lost his goddamn mind immediately and the band wouldn't have made it beyond like two more months lmao

i can however see paul making a move and john shooting it down due to His Issues, but i don't really see any time period where that would've potentially happened yk like there's not enough there to speculate on that one. but i can see it more than the opposite

they were also on so, so many drugs. you take two people with loose sexual boundaries and you put them on uppers/alcohol/weed/lsd/coke and i truly think it's more unlikely that they didn't ever fuck. i think most anyone who regularly gets drunk/high has at least one story about making out with/fucking someone they shouldn't. oftentimes when you can't remember shit.

there's also the severe lack of personal space between them & just the way they watch each other. ofc there's a severe lack of space between All the beatles, but it's glaringly obvious and embarrassing when they're all 4 in the same space and the blowjob brothers are over there ass to dick while everyone else has a respectable friend distance.

i won't put a photo/gif dump here i'm sure we've all seen them but this is the single one i have to add bc genuinely what is their problem:

and the way paul stops and then looks over at john after noticing he's watching his ass? they're as subtle as a brick to the head lmfao

tl;dr on the vibes: it's a if you give a mouse a cookie situation to me. if john was attracted to paul (he was), he would've made a move -> if john made a move on paul, paul would've said yes -> if paul had said no, there would have been 0 way john would've just gone on like normal -> nothing ever blew up like that sooo -> i think they fucked (in our definition- idfk what they would count it as). throw in their drug use & lack of personal space................

actual shit w substance

i don't think unless john's diaries leak or paul slips in his old age that we're Ever going to get any kind of Actual confirmation about if they did or did not have a sexual relationship of any kind. BUT there are some things that make me go. well okay !

and a disclaimer i don't think this is the only way you can interpret these things and i'm well aware i look like this rn

i mean this so seriously when i say the thing that convinced me they did actually fuck was john's real love (real life) demo. we know he's talking about paul bc he says "was i just dreaming, or was it only yesterday? i used to hold you in my arms. and now a baby and another on the way la la la farm" and then the added fact from this post that the daily news from that same year around the time john would've made this demo has a page dedicated to linda & paul expecting a new baby and in the same paper it's talking about cruises. which in the demo he says "picked up the paper, read the daily news, nothing doing anyway, same old bs, doot doot doot doot cruise." so we've got him singing about someone he used to hold in his arms that now has another baby on the way on a farm, which he found out about reading the daily news that mentioned cruises. when there was a paper from that day from the daily news announcing that linda & paul were expecting and talking about cruises. so i can say with confidence that he's talking about paul there. unless he was just wildly in love with linda lmfao. and of course "i used to hold you in my arms" doesn't exactly translate to "i fucked you" but like......????? there's really not much else you can infer from that. the rest of it is true to reality, so why would he embellish that bit with something he wished happened? why would he wished to have held him and then lost him anyway? and like it'd just be a weird thing to say about a platonic friend. i can't exactly imagine them just platonically laying around cuddling. i mean sure, maybe, but come on.

speaking of john's demos, there's also his weird paris shit (ignore that title lmfao. it is definitely a real demo & i actually accidentally own it on vinyl- it was one that got leaked during the lost lennon tapes). in it, he's singing to "my pau pau" about his little prod (lmfao) at a cafe on the left bank (hysterically also the title of a wings song ABOUT john and paul's trip to paris). i mean does that mean they fucked? maybe not. but also fucking bizarre to refer to your friend as "my pau pau" and start talking about his little dick while calling him my cheri..... like. again. come on.

speaking of paris there's also the whole skywriting by word of mouth thing. this one's the loosest bc it's fictional, but john based a lot of the sexual stories in skywriting by word of mouth on his own sexual exploits. also realizing for some reason i didn't put this in the original post, but leading up to the paris bit, it describes the man as a journalist who's in the middle of writing a play. but tl;dr on that link: john wrote a short story full of references to gay sex/gay culture about a man leaving writing a play to meet up with his lover in paris where they stay at the george v and fuck to god only knows. in 1966, john left filming how i won the war to meet up with paul in paris and they stayed at the george v. that's the same year pet sounds came out & paul got obsessed with god only knows as well. now this one could Also be taking the details of a very platonic meetup (paul did have one of his girlfriends, maggie mcgivern, with him) and adding a sexual connotation to them retroactively, but....................

i'm also throwing this paul song into the mix bc .....????? sure man. i'll also throw let me roll it into that category bc of the "he gave me loving in the palm of my hand" thing like okay man. i'm sure he did. and best friend/call me back again are just self explanatory.

this one is EXTREMELY loose and i don't believe 99% of them but there Are a ton of rumors/blind items if you go digging around about them kind of openly fucking during the 60s (as well as paul & linda having threesomes with men lmao). not linking those bc i wouldn't count them as even a remotely reliable source but they exist and all say just about the same thing

am i 100% certain they fucked? i mean no. but it just seems way less likely to me that they didn't. and i've seen historical narratives built on less so i'm gonna go on w my interpretation that they did fuck nasty in whatever way

[thesporkidentity]

okay so disclaimer about differing social mores of the time and intimate friendships and modes of expression meaning that straight men's interactions were often different than the average straight dudes of today, i haven't read up on the author but the subtext is most likely unintentional blah blah etc etc

but

y'all. i have lost count of the times i've stopped in my reading to be like. bunny, sweetie, that's gay. dude has it baaaaaaad for raffles

I see his indolent, athletic figure; his pale, sharp, clean-shaven features; his curly black hair; his strong, unscrupulous mouth. And again I feel the clear beam of his wonderful eye, cold and luminous as a star...

it's the UNSCRUPULOUS mouth that gets me. that's the most (probably unintentionally) homoerotic thing i've read since hemingway's description of f. scott fitzgerald "The mouth worried you until you knew him and then it worried you more."

[sleeperagentclone]

I have managed to lose every huge "fuck you" pocket knife I've ever own, which sucks cause it would be really good to have one right now

[pseudophan]

Did anyone else say/notice that dan has been a lot more gentle whenever phil makes mistakes on the gaming channel post hiatus? I just remember him being more sharp before and now he's all soft and giggly

yes! and i feel like there's several reasons why. i think it's a mix of dan just generally being older and more patient overall, he's no longer afraid of us going LOL GAY if he's being gentle and comforting towards phil, and he has a different mindset towards what the appeal of their content is. the first two are self explanatory, but the last one is something i think about a lot in terms of their content overall, and i guess it kind of ties into the second point as well

obviously dan always knew that #phan was one of if not the biggest draw to them and the channel, but because he disliked that fact so much he focused a lot more on what he considered, mostly correctly, to be the other selling points. they've always had this dynamic of dan being exasperated over phil's antics (and vice versa, it's just phil's exasperation is a lot more lowkey than dan's. he rolls his eyes whereas dan starts screaming lmao) and that IS very funny and a large part of the comedy in their videos, but i think he used to deliberately play it up a lot more to make it funnier, hence why he came across much more critical than he does now. and the thing is he hasn't even necessarily stopped playing it up either, he's just more comfortable expressing his annoyance in a more authentic, very fond manner

now it's less "ugh you're so annoying i hate you" and more "ugh you're so annoying i love you", you know what i mean?

[doctorwhoisadhd]

genuinely world enough and time/the doctor falls was a story about queerness and conversion therapy, i think

lesbian (shown to be not out to her family) goes through cyber conversion and everyone sees her as this monster but she is quite literally saved by a gay kiss

multi-master episode with two consecutive incarnations, the latter being the first female incarnation in the shows history, where explicitly the one who has "transitioned" is shown to be the good one who eventually does the right thing. (i don't think this was intentionally about being trans necessarily, but it certainly is depicting the master as a character as gender non-conforming, especially with simm!master putting on eyeliner at one point.)

like bill's part of the doctor falls is about conversion therapy. turning her into a cyberman = removing her emotions, which is then shown pretty explicitly to not have totally worked because she still produces a tear, which was even given to her by heather. cyber conversion = gay conversion therapy, and this episode is basically saying that conversion therapy doesn't work because of this exchange:

bill is no longer a cyberman, because heather as the pilot has given her a second chance at life. and yes, bill still isn't human, but heather also says she can make her human again. so rather than being trapped in one mode of expression as the cyber conversion process had intended, bill can now do whatever she wants.

the two masters thing is important, but would be even more so if the doctor's regeneration from 12 to 13 had been a part of this episode, as had been originally intended. it's pretty obviously showing that simm!master is stuck in the past, and in fact literally is the incarnation directly before missy, who forces him to regenerate into her because it's time to do the right thing. again i think this is less about queerness (though there is some element of that in there) and more moffat writing about the fans ahead of the first female doctor. it's his commentary on how he knew people were going to react, with simm!master being a depiction of angry male fans who think the doctor shouldn't be a woman.

it also strikes me as deliberate along with this that bill is a lesbian specifically, and not say a gay man or something. if bill was a gay man that aspect of this story wouldn't work nearly as well because of what it's trying to say about specifically women. putting bill, a lesbian, through conversion therapy = forcing her to be in relationships with men that don't work and don't allow her to grow and be happy. in this way, she's a metaphor for doctor who as a show: forcing the doctor (or the master) to continue to be exclusively played by male actors would be a poor choice because the show is forced to stagnate, and can't grow and change the way it needs to in this century. moffat is saying here that it doesn't work to stay set in our ways.

even bill's last words to the doctor are an expression of her queerness:

[asdfghjklartblog]

Vermillion

Trans masc reader x yandere batfam

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 (here)

Hello! Sorry this took a bit longer, but the chapter is also longer than usual so hopefully it makes up for it! So this is like almost exactly 7.4k words so take a little break, grab a drink and maybe some tissues because I cried while writing this one. I’m also generally an emotional person so that’s not saying a lot tbh. Anyways have fun!

Tw: Neglect, Slight gore, Obvious favouritism

——————————

There’s no other way to say it, Jason’s been following you around both in and out the manor. But considering you’re a homebody who does nothing but go to school, read and write fanfics, draw commissions and whatnot, it was pretty damn easy to just follow you around. At first you found it unsettling, even you, a daddy’s girl didn’t hang around your daddy that much. But he grew on you, like how ivy grows along the side of a building. You guys get to talking and you two realise that you lived close to each other before you were taken in by Bruce. Which is both a pleasant and sad surprise. You love Jason, he was your family just like Luke.

You don’t know what’s going on with Dick per se, but you heard through the grapevine that he’s studying to be a cop in Bludhaven. He comes back home sometimes, well more rarely than anything but whatever. It’s not like it’s your problem. The two of you still have nothing in common, and he still finds your doujinshi and your obsession with anime a bit… Weird but he doesn’t say anything anymore. And considering that the two of you are older now, you don’t out right avoid or fight each other anymore. Mostly because he’d kick your ass.

Bruce is… Different. Not in a bad way but, he feels more unsure? Whatever Dick and Bruce fought about, you could tell that Bruce was still grumpy about it. I mean who could blame him? Dick was his favourite, his golden child, the one he wanted, the one he chose. You try not to think about it, because it hurts. And then it hurts more as you start to spiral and if it gets too bad you start feeling sick. But it’s fine. You’re fine. This is fine. Bruce is getting closer to Jason, it kinda makes your heart clench as you see their relationship progress. Jason tried to invite you to spend time with them but you knew Bruce would be uncomfortable, and you’d probably be throwing up less than a minute in from anxiety.

However you started thinking about being trans masc, at least that’s what you remember it being called. ‘Cause Robin was probably right. She has a knack for sensing these kinds of things. She helps you look into where to get HRT and how the process works. However the problem was getting permission from Alfred and Bruce to get the treatment. You don’t necessarily think it’d be a big deal but Alfred was old. He doesn’t seem like the type of man to be transphobic but, you never know. But Bruce? You weren’t too sure about him. On one hand he’s a respectful and good man. On the other hand he is a man and a playboy, so honestly the odds didn’t look too good.

The first person you come out to is well, Robin. Obviously. Well I mean she already knew so was it really coming out? It’s more like she was waiting for you to come out of the see-through a glass closet. However the second person is by complete accident. You see, you were tutoring Eric in Algebra. You didn’t have a choice, you were volunteering as a tutor and you couldn’t just refuse a person without a good cause. You were explaining polynomials to him and he just suddenly throws his head back and groans. “Ugh, this is so fucking gay. What do we even fucking need this for.”

And you replied without thinking. You chuckle before saying. “Yeah just like me.”

The both of you freeze before he just slowly turns to you and asks. “Dude, you serious?”

You lean back against the chair’s backrest and sigh. “Yeah.”

He then waits a beat before saying. “So like, you like women? You like pussy?”

You almost choke on the laughter that just bubbled out which he just looks at you weirdly for. You catch your breath and try to clear up the confusion. “Sorry, I don’t know why but that was really funny to me. But uh, maybe? I’m not sure yet. But I mean that I’m a man that likes other men.”

You can see that Eric needed to connect the dots, and you know he’s got it when his eyebrows shot up and he lets out a little. “Oh.”

You nod and say. “Yeah, I found out like a year ago but didn’t have time to delve into it at the time.”

He then nods, letting out a small hum. He sits up straight before looking at you and just says. “I think I like guys too.”

Your neck slowly turns to him and you raise an eyebrow at that before sassily turning back to the textbook and replying with. “Ew, that’s so gay.”

He immediately turns to you with a flabbergasted look on his face. You try your best to keep your smile down but he can tell. He punches your shoulder playfully before saying. “Fuck off man, piece of shit gay boy.”

You answer back with. “Pot calling the kettle black.”

Eric rolls his eyes and the two of you chuckle before a calm silence fills the room again. After a few moments he gets serious and saying. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

You look at and you can clearly tell that he’s nervous about what you’re about to say. You let him stew in his anxiety a little longer before giving him an answer. “I won’t, I promise.”

He releases a breath that he kept down in his anxiousness. Eric then says. “Hey, if you ever want like help to make your body bigger or whatever, I can help. I mean I am on the football team and run defense!”

You smile at him in a way that looks like you’re playing around with him like a cat toying around with a mouse. “Yeah? You got any moves to show me?”

His eyes widen almost comically as he immediately turns red, the freckles on his face barely visible because of it. He then tries to laugh it off before saying. “Wow! I am beat! I think I’m gonna go now.”

You look at the time and you say in a confused tone of voice. “Eric we still have like more than hour of studying-“

But he’s already packing his things and rushing out the entrance of library. You sigh and start to pack your own things before you notice some blonde dude in a trench coat. You felt someone’s eyes on you before, and you kinda feel like it might be that guy. It’s pretty quiet in the library and despite there being more than enough seats, he sits right in front of you. He flashes you a charming smile and when you look at him, he reminds you so much of Daddy. He’s also got the scruffy stubble on his jaw and above his lips. He then says with a scouse accent. “Hello, my name’s John Constantin-“

You interrupt him and loudly say. “Sir, I am underage.”

A few heads turn and he sighs then chuckles before saying. “Cheeky little thing aren’t you.”

You shrug before starting to pack up. He then looks you up and down before asking. “Mind telling me about something kid?”

You groan and ask him. “What? What the hell do you want? Why are you, as the people from where you live would say, gegging in?”

He raises an eyebrow before he asks. “You know scouse?”

You reply with. “I looked it up and watched a couple videos on it late at night. Kinda stuck to my brain for some reason.”

He nods before saying. “Makes sense. Now tell me, you seen any owls lately?”

Your heart skips a beat but you’re able to maintain your cool as you finish packing up, you then reply with. “Not really, I mean owls are hard to find in gotham not many trees and all that.”

He eyes you up and down before saying. “Don’t lie kid, it won’t do you any good.”

You get up and glare at him before saying. “Go fuck yourself.”

He smirks before sarcastically calling out as you walk away. “We actually say ‘sod off’ but nice try!”

You rush out of the library and go home. What the hell was that, and how did he know about the owl in your dreams? You haven’t told anyone except Luke. Maybe you shouldn’t have just blown the guy off. You sigh as you think about it a bit more, but you’re tired from studying and just wanna have dinner and then go to bed. The dreams stop for a while after that, letting you sleep peacefully.

You start to do better in your classes for some reason, it’s definitely not the result of you now sleeping restfully and exercising with Eric. But after you start seeing the results, seeing the muscle on your arms and your back and whatnot, leaves you feeling amazing. It even gives you the confidence boost to come out to Luke who just says. “Yeah, I kinda guessed. Either that or you were some kinda freak.”

You pushed him playfully after he said that. He laughs and throws one arm around your shoulder and ruffles your hair. He sighs, as he goes back to lie down on the grass. The two of you are just hanging out on the grass as the two of you look at the stars. He then hums before saying. “You know, I can’t believe it’s been 10 years since we met. I still remember when you barely came to my waist, and now you’re just an inch above my shoulder! Absolutely insane.”

After he says that you sigh, you start to tear up as you say. “You know how I have trouble remembering stuff? I… I’m starting to forget my memories with my daddy. And I don’t want to forget. I try to write them down but, I can only remember general things. I can’t remember what was there, what we were doing-“

Luke interrupts you gently, and say in a low voice. “I know it’s scary. I had the same fears as you did when I started to realise that I couldn’t remember Monchi, my first dog. You want me to tell you about him?”

You close your eyes as you listen to him talk, he talks about how Monchi died when he was barely 6, and that he was a small pug that was also kinda fat. How the dog loved napping the most, and loved sleeping on Luke the best. How the dog loved those bacon treats you would always see on the commercials. You laugh and the two of you decide to keep a journal of your most precious memories.

One day you realise that you haven’t told Jason yet, and but figured that he probably wouldn’t know about any of that stuff so you put it off. However as you turn 16 you think that you should probably tell Alfred sooner than later. When you tell Alfred and he smiles gently as he says. “You are very brave for telling me. And I thank you for trusting me enough to tell me miss- no, master y/n. Excuse me but it will take some time before I ingrain this information into my memory.”

You nod and then continue as you say. “I was actually hoping that you could help me with something? I-I really want to get HRT, and I need Bruce’s consent to do that. I was really hoping you could maybe convince him? I just I’m scared of telling him myself.”

Alfred looks at you sadly before nodding and says. “How about we tell him now? He has an opening right now, and since he stayed home today, you can tell him face to face.”

You panic and reply with a stammer. “N-No that’s okay really I can wai-“

Alfred then starts to drag you towards the lion’s den and Jesus, this old man is strong, what the hell. He then knocks on the door, and you’re hoping, praying to god that Bruce says he’s busy. However you hear Bruce call out. “Come in!” When both you and Alfred enter, Bruce raises an eyebrow, he’s probably thinking ‘What did she do now?‘ Alfred then says to Bruce. “Master y/n had some news to tell you. Nothing bad, good news actually.”

You then blurt out a tad bit too loud. “I’m trans. A-And I like men. And I think I like girls?”

Alfred and Bruce stare at you in complete silence. Thankfully, Bruce interrupts the awkward silence with. “Congratulations. Is there.. Anything else?”

You take a deep breath and ask. “Can you sign the consent form for the HRT treatment?”

Bruce nods and then goes back to work. That was super anticlimactic. But at least you got permission! Over the next month you and Bruce fills out all the forms and you’re overjoyed! Everything is great you’re voice is getting deeper, you’re growing even taller, you started getting chest hair among… Other things. But overall this is great!

One day at school, you’re studying in the library in the little corner where nobody can see you when you overhear some people making fun of you. You don’t really care though, you’ve made your peace with how weird you are. However their topic then changes to Jason.

A boy says. “Have you seen that kid? He doesn’t deserve to be here, he’s alley trash! He should be back on the street with that slut of a mother he has.”

They giggles like it’s the funniest thing in the world, it grates on your ears. Another girl continues, saying. “Oh my god! Nick you can’t say that! But really, how is he getting good grades? Maybe his mom taught him a thing or two!”

You’re frozen in place, you can’t believe what you’re hearing. It feels vile, disgusting and you feel like tearing out the very throats that are assaulting your ears.

Another girl joins in and says. “We should get him to get kicked out of the school! Maybe we could make look like he’s harassing us or something? Oh! We could make it seem like he’s taking advantage of us!”

You get up. You’ve heard enough. As you walk to where the girls are, you feel red hot anger going through your veins. You get to where they are, and hearing their cruel suggestions laughter grates on your nerves. You walk right up to them, getting up close and personal before growling. “What the fuck did you say?”

The girls look at you as if you were a piece of gum on the sole of their shoe, the boy looks at you with a smirk as if to challenge you. The boy pushes you away and says. “Oh, look! It’s bloody mary, what are you doing here? Did you hear what we said? You’re lucky it isn’t you we’re targeting. At least half of you is worthy of being here.”

You glare at them before getting right up in the boy’s face again, you brush your hair back and stand up straighter and saying. “If you don’t fucking shut up, and mind your business. If I see any of you near my little brother, it’s on fucking sight. You understand me? I’ll fucking get teachers involved, the police, your parents, I’m dragging you all down.”

The guy scoffs and pushes you away before saying. “You and what army? Everyone in school knows that Bruce doesn’t care about yo-“

He doesn’t get to finish that sentence as you uppercut him. He stumbles a bit before he collapses onto the floor, unconscious. Then you look at the girls and hiss. “Either you stop whatever the fuck you’re planning, or I come back with more than just my fucking fists”

The girls look at each other and nod hesitantly. You leave them be as you go back to your little corner in the library. You then pack up your things and leave, way too angry to study. So you just go to the cafeteria, where you see Jason happily eating with his friends. You start to calm down and smile stupidly as you see him safe and happy, he notices you staring and mouthes the words. “Stop looking at me.” You chuckle as you turn away to scroll on your phone.

You were called to the principal’s after that, but there was no video evidence to prove that showed that you knocked out with whatever that guy’s name was. It’s not that it was edited out, it just messed up during the time you were there. Weird. But since there was no evidence saying otherwise you got suspended and this time it was put on record. Bruce was disappointed in you but to fair when wasn’t he? Jason heard what you did and spent the week you were just hanging out with you and giving you random hugs. Which didn’t really bother you, you liked the physical affection. And after so long of barely having any, it feels nice. You assume it’s the same for Jason. Not that his situation was the same as yours but you know.

You always try and let Jason come to you, like a cat. Cause sometimes he just gets really shy or standoffish about physical affection, probably trying to unconsciously defend himself or something. It’s a bit hard to restrain yourself though when he’s so cute, you even get cuteness aggression from just seeing him. And thank god for Alfred feeding this boy, because in less than a year he’s in the target weight for his size and age and now he’s got these cute chubby cheeks and you just love pinching them. He absolutely hates it though. And sometimes you have this urge to just… Sit on him though? It’s so weird. Like you wish you were a giant cat or something so you could lie on top of him so he’d be warm, toasty and safe under you.

Now you’re 17, and usually you don’t celebrate your birthday, but since Luke came back from his tour in Afghanistan, and Jason saying that it could be fun, led the two of you to baking your own cake in the kitchen. So with Alfred’s permission and under his watchful eye, you guys bake a cake. You brought out the ingredients you needed out from the pantry and fridge, Jason was in charge of mixing things together and Luke was making sure the oven was preheated and then started to make the (kind of frosting you like). You take out the cake molds and ask the two of them. “How many layers should we make and how big should we make it? And another question, what flavour of cake would you guys prefer?”

Luke shrugs and says. “I’m fine with anything. I ain’t picky.”

Jason thinks about it for a moment before saying. “Mango, or maybe we could make like an earl grey cake?”

You respond with. “We’re doing (favourite cake flavour).”

Luke rolls his eyes while he smiles, he looks to Jason and says. “Whenever I get a slice cake for him, he always chooses that flavour. I don’t even know why I bother to even ask at this point.”

Jason snickers at that while you huff and say. “It’s my favourite flavour. If you got a problem with it then take it up with management.”

Luke chuckles at that, and all of you continue to do the tasks you assigned each other. You guys laughed and joked around while making your cake. Then you guys put the cake mix in the oven, while it bakes the three of you go into the living room to play video games, you guys play (favourite game), and you let Jason play too. But he keeps making the wrong decisions so you and Luke end up backseat gaming and spoiling everything almost everything. While Jason is playing, Luke looks you up and down he notices something. “Shit, y/n. What has Alfred been feeding you? And where did you get all this muscle from? You look good, man.”

Your smile brightens up and you nod at him, saying. “Thanks, the HRT has been helping me build more muscle mass, I’m getting more hair too, but the mood swings are rough man. Like I switch from violently angry to violently…” You look at Jason and see that he’s still playing the game but decide to not say what you were thinking. “Excited.”

Luke makes grimaces and pushes your face away with one hand. “Gross. Did not need to know that.”

You chuckle and then you ask. “Is it normal to get butt hair?”

Luke shrugs and says. “I mean I guess, some of my friends back during my tour had ass hair. I accidentally caught a glimpse when I hit the showers a bit late from doing extra burpees the sergeant assigned for me.”

You nod and then ask him. “Was it because the sergeant was homophobic?”

Luke looks at you confused and says. “I’m not gay.”

Which makes you smile but you try to stifle it as you continue to talk. “Yeah you are, you’re so gay. You fuck dudes left and right.”

He groans and the replies with. “I am helping you with both your schoolwork and making your fucking cake, and you’re seriously gaslighting me into believing that I’m gay?”

You laugh at that and then school your face and with your best brooding face and Bruce voice, you say. “Fox. You are gay. You are-“ and then you do the gay limp wrist thing.

Luke busts out laughing at that, and then starts to cough as he says. “What the fuck.”

You smile back at him and then see Jason doing something that requires concentration you, then start to practically lay on top of him as you say. “Ugh, gravity is increasing on me Jason.”

He tries to push you off and he almost does because he’s actually pretty damn strong surprisingly. He starts to get annoyed and says. “No it isn’t!!”

You nonchalantly reply. “It is too, Jason. Same thing happened yesterday.”

He groans and growls. “NO!” After losing the concentration game. He lets out another groan before pushing you off and saying. “Get your fat ass off of me!”

You laugh as you get off of him but then before he can even move you pull him onto your lap and start hugging him tightly which makes him groan even louder before struggling to get you off. That made you laugh and you eventually pull away from him, he goes back to playing his game and you sit there and wonder as you look at both Luke trying to help Jason with the game. Do they even know how much they matter to you? Do they know you’d kill for them? That you’d get your hands bloody and bruised for them? Would they do the same for you, you ask yourself. Would they love you and protect you just as fiercely? You then turn back to the TV and decide to enjoy this little piece of heaven.

The three of you eventually get back into kitchen and ice and decorate the cake together. It’s a bit lopsided, but it’s yours. And that is what makes it perfect. You guys watch (fav comfort movie) while you guys eat the cake. You guys all sleep in your room that night, having a little sleepover together.

In the morning you see that Jason is gone, you yawn and get up to go find him. You see his bedroom light is open and for some reason, you have this gut feeling. It tells you to be quiet, to peek into Jason’s room. Your brows furrow and you decide to trust your gut. You gently move the door, and peer into Jason’s room. You see Jason is changing. Gross. But as you’re about to close the door you see scars and bruises littering his torso. You freeze and decide to keep watching, why the hell does he have those? You’re almost absolutely sure he’s not getting bullied. You’ve made sure of that. So where did those marks come from? It can’t be Bruce, he might not love you, but he definitely loves Jason. And he isn’t the person to do that, you know it. It can’t be Alfred, he’d rather chop his arm off than hurt any of us. So who?

You then barge in, making Jason jump. Before he can say anything, you march up to him and pointing at the large purple bruise on his ribs you growl out. “What happened? Why the hell are you this scratched up and hurt? I know it isn’t from school and it not from-“

He tries to placate you by looking up at you with apologetic eyes and gently saying. “Y/n-“

You glare at him and say. “Don’t you fucking,” You then mimic the way he said your name and then continue. “I asked you a question and you better tell me the damn truth. I can read you like a fucking book Jason Peter Todd, don’t fucking play with me.”

Jason looks at you in the eyes and then looks to the ground. He sighs and says. “I’m in an underground fighting ring.”

You raise an eyebrow and roll your eyes before snarkily saying. “Yeah? Why the fuck is there cuts and slash scars on your skin then.”

He replies scoffs and mockingly says. “There’s a reason it’s called underground, there’s no rules.”

Your eyes widen at his attitude and you glare at him as you continue. “Don’t take that tone with me, boy. I may not be your father or mother but I am still still an elder.”

Jason looks at you with an unimpressed look and says. “You are three years older than me you are NOT and elder.”

You respond with. “Who made you the elder expert.”

Jason crosses his arms before growling. “No one. You’re just so unqualified that it’s clear to everyone.”

You’re about to respond to him again when you realise he’s trying to distract you. You then take a breath to calm down before saying. “Okay. Whatever. That’s not important. I’m just. Tell me the truth Jason, please. I’m your older brother, if you can’t trust me, who can you trust? I love you, very much. I promise I won’t be mad. I just want to know.”

Jason looks into your eyes before he sighs. He looks around the room before he gestures for you to lean in close. You do so giving him your ear, he then whispers into your ear. “Go fuck yourself.”

You pull away and groan in indignation before growling. “Fine! Keep your secrets! But don’t come to me when you need help.”

You march out of his room and accidentally slam his door, unaware that you practically broke the door and the wall around it. Why the fuck wouldn’t he tell you? Especially if he’s getting hurt from it! You can help, you’d do whatever he needs. You stop in your tracks and you know, that if you walk away now, you’re giving him a chance to cover his tracks. You’re giving him a chance to shut you out from… Whatever he’s going through. You groan, being a good big brother is hard. You start walking back and gently knocking on his door. The door falls over and you let out a surprised little noise. You see he’s staring at you before he turns away and puts his chin in his hand.

You take a deep breath and go to sit next to him. You sigh and you hesitantly put your hand on his shoulder. “Jason. Just… Please? Please just tell me what’s going on? Are you being bullied or something? Are you really going to some underground fighting ring? If so I’m not letting you go, at least not alone. Jason you’re my little brother. You and Luke are the only family I have-“

Jason blurts out. “I’m Robin.”

You freeze. You look at him incredulously and ask. “What?”

Jason also looks surprised. He then looks away and then turns back to you. “I- That was a joke.”

You look closer at Jason and you absolutely know he was telling the truth just now. You stand up and start pacing around the room before you come to a realisation. “Bruce… Bruce is..?”

Jason looks away, and that tells you everything you need to know. Everything starts to click together. Bruce is fucking Batman. Fucking Bruce?! Oh my god that’s why Batman can get all those gadgets. It makes total sense! And that means Dick was… Oh my god Dick was the former Robin, holy shit. What the fuck. You look at Jason and you want yell, scream, punch, not because you’re angry at him, but because you’re livid at Bruce for allowing this. They’re just kids! Jason hugs you from behind, startling you from your thoughts and says. “You aren’t mad, are you?”

You turn to look at him and gently cup his cheeks before saying. “No. No, I could never be mad at you. It’s not your fault. But Bruce-“

He holds your hands and puts them down before saying. “Bruce is doing his best. He’s been helping us. You saw how angry and how he’d used to be so angry.”

You then argue with him. “He’s still angry!”

Jason rolls his eyes and continues. “And I’ve been learning to control myself. I just, please. I like doing this. I get to help people-“

You raise your voice, not at him, but because you’re trying to plead for him to see things your way. “You can help people in different ways! You can volunteer-“

He then shouts as he looks deep into your eyes. “You know that’s not enough! Look at us! Look at why we’re here. It’s because it’s never enough. Look at how they dismissed your dad’s murder so easily! They closed the case in less than a month! Something was clearly going on there!”

You turn away from him, putting one hand on your waist and using the other to pinch the bridge of your nose. Jason continues and says. “If that really worked, neither of us would’ve been adopted by Bruce-“

You try to walk away from him but he quickly blocks your path and grabs your wrist. “Y/n please, it’s for the good of-“

“But what about you? I know you think it’s good, but is it? You’re 13-“

He interrupts and says. “I’m turning 14-“

You sarcastically say. “Yeah because that makes a WORLD of difference, yeah, sorry I didn’t realise you could pay your taxes and shit Mr. 14 year old.”

Jason’s hold on your wrist tightens and he argues. “Whatever! Look this is my choice-“

You interrupt him this time. “Really? Because to me it looks like Bruce is being insane, carless and-“

Jason growls back. “You take that back y/n-“

“No! This is actually insane Jason, he is making you fight people like the fucking killer clown, that scarecrow dude with the fear gas-“

“It’s actually a toxin-“ He grumbles under his breath, but you hear it. All this back and forth is driving you up the wall. You finally snap and start yelling.

“WHO THE FUCK CARES JASON THE FACT IS THAT YOU SHOULD BE SAFE, YOU SHOULD BE HERE, HAVING FUN, BEING A KID, NOT HAVING THE WORLD OR PEOPLE’S LIVES ON YOUR-“

You then realise that he’s looking at you scared, his hands are even shaking. You remember what he said about his dad. How he used to yell and beat him when he got drunk. You know this. You promised him you’d never yell at him, that you’d always love and care for him. Listen to him. But right now you’re yelling. You’re yelling at your baby brother, it doesn’t matter what you’re saying, or whether you meant to or not. You still yelled at him. Guilt floods your systems and the anger in your chest has changes into a heavy weight in the pit of your stomach. You slowly reach for him as you gently call his name but he smacks your hand away and runs out the room. You feel awful, how could you do that to him? You were angry and frustrated but you know better. You’re his safe house, you’re supposed to protect him. You turn around and try to chase after him but you bump into Luke. Seeing your panicked state and wide eyes he looks at you worried and asks. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”

You’re about to say exactly what happened but, it’s his secret. It’s not your place to tell. You’re angry, but you aren’t stupid. This isn’t a secret you can just tell, you might trust Luke but Jason doesn’t know him as well as you do. You sigh and just give him a general overview of what just happened. Luke looks at you sadly and says. “Maybe you should give him some time-“

In a panicked tone you trip over your words but manage to get out. “But I- I have to apologise, I need to- I need to fix this! Luke, I’m supposed to-“

He grabs your shoulders and says. “Calm down. I know you’re scared that this will drive a wedge between you two, and honestly it might. I’m not gonna lie, but I also know that you both love each other a lot. You two are like two peas in a pod, partners in crime, however you wanna say it. He knows you didn’t mean to hurt him, of course you should still apologise but… Yeah just. Give him some space. He’ll come around-“

You then pause and then weakly say. “And what if he doesn’t? What if he decides I’m-“

Luke rolls his eyes and then says. “And what if you explode tomorrow. Look, it’s going to be fine. I know it.”

So you wait. And wait. And wait. Two whole weeks passes of him avoiding you. You try to talk to him but he always leaves without a word. It hurts. The knowledge that you hurt him so badly that he won’t talk to you, makes your heart twist with frustration at yourself. You try your best to give him space, but as the days pass it gets harder and harder to stay put. Especially when you know what he’s doing at night.

You have a dream again, maybe because you’re stressed. But this feels worse. You wake up, lying down on the beach. You get up with a groan and see you’re at the same beach that your other dreams took place in. However this time you see foot prints all over the beach. Some of them bird like, some of them look like normal human foot prints. And some of them look… Unnatural. You stand there looking around before you hear a soft crying behind you. It has an owl mask, you kneel onto the floor and ask the kid. “Hey, what’s wrong-“

She mumbles something you don’t catch. You pause and try to ask her to repeat herself when she repeats what she says. You barely catch what she says so you ask again. She whispers. “It hurts.”

Before you can ask what hurts she repeats herself a bit louder. “It hurts.”

You start to see where this is going so you start to back off but bump into another child as you walk backwards. You recognise this one is a boy and at the same time they repeat the words ‘It hurts’. You try to back away from them but you only find two more children blocking your way. Every time you turn away, more of them appear. They’re all different, all shapes and sizes, the only common factor between these kids are the fact all of them seem to be under 15.

They keep repeating the phrase, and with every time they say it they grow louder. You try to cover your ears but it does nothing. They’re surrounding you now, they’re screaming, pleading for you to help them, to save them. You feel your pants being tugged and that’s when you see that more kids are coming up from the sand. But they’re not climbing up, no, they’re pulling you down. The sand beneath your feet start to loosen, making it that much easier for them to pull you down with them. You try to pry then off you but like a hydra every kid you pry off, three more take it’s place. You scream for them to let you go, but none of them listen. You start to see flashes of visions, of children and needles, of people in masks, of a dark ballroom and an altar on the other side of the room. The sand is up to your waist now, numerous small hand clawing at your skin, leaving trails of blood in their wake. Their hands start to reach your face, their hands covered in your blood as they clamour to drag you into sand, grabbing and scratching where they can reach. The sand is now right under your chin. You get your hand free to try to pry yourself out, but it doesn’t work. The last thing you see is an owl as your mouth and lungs start to fill with sand.

You wake up with a gasp and start coughing out sand, you run to your bathroom sink as you throw up more sand as well at last night’s dinner. You hear someone coming into your room, and in your panicked state you grab the soap dispenser. As the person tries to come in you swing at him, the person dodges and you let out an animalistic growl and follow the person. Your eyes are unfocused and you can barely see, it’s like you can see enough to move but not enough to recognise anything. You hear something, like someone’s talking, but it’s so muddled that it seems like distorted noise. You swing again and the person dodges again, but you catch them off guard as you throw it straight at their face which nearly hits the intruder’s, but instead it hits the wall behind him. You tackle the stranger but they use that force against you and throws you onto the ground. They pin you to the ground with great difficulty as you groan and growl like an animal, the intruder then jumps off you and makes a run to your bed. You follow and as you’re grabbing and lifting you’re the brown thing by a bigger thing over your head to smash into the intruder’s head, you hear your daddy’s voice.

You freeze and your eyes start to clear up, you can see again. You’re huffing and puffing, you the put your bedside table on the ground. You’re room is mostly okay, if not a bit messy because of the fighting. You look to your bed and see that Jason’s looking at you with wide eyes with your Oliver plushie in his hands. You start to piece together what happened and sigh before you stretch your body lightly. Jason then yells at you. “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?”

You groan and then say. “It just happens sometimes-“

Jason’s eyes widen further and he continues. “SOMETIMES!? You were acting like some backed up rabid animal! And that’s normal?!”

You turn around and massage your temples before saying. “Really? And you’re so much better, Mr. ‘Boy wonder’? Look if you came here to judge me-“

Jason makes you turn around and is about to yell again but stops himself. Instead he lets out a sigh and pulls you into a hug. You’re a bit surprised but you hug him back you two stand there for a moment in silence. The two of you let go and you take a step back from him, he gives you a melancholy look before calming himself down fully. He takes another moment to think and then says. “I get it. We both have secrets. I just… I don’t know. I’m sorry for avoiding you, and I’m sorry for running-“

You interrupt him, grabbing his hand and try to assure him. “Jason, no! You had every right to do that. I’m sorry I couldn’t control myself I just, recently it’s been harder to. I’m not saying it to excuse myself, I’m saying it to explain myself. And I was so frustrated, I… Jason I want you to be safe. And what you’re doing… I can’t protect you from that. That made me angry and scared, and the way you kept brushing off my concerns just left me feeling more worried and scared. I love you so much Jason. We may not be related by blood, but you matter to me more than anyone else. Well not anyone else, you’re a very close third to Luke.”

Jason chuckles at that, he then brushes his hair out of his face before saying. “Yeah, I get that, I’m sorry about that. It’s just I… I know. It’s dangerous. Of course it is. You don’t have to tell me that. But I have to, cause if it’s not me, who will? Who’s gonna protect the kids that are going through the stuff we went through?”

You look at into his eyes and that’s when you know, he’s not gonna quit this. No matter what you say. You cup his cheeks and tear up, your baby, your little brother. It brings you so much pride, so much pain and tremendous amount of grief to your heart knowing that every night you’re going to bed, he’s going out there to fight criminals and villains. People who don’t care that he’s just a kid. That’s when you let out a shaky sigh and let the tears run down. You kiss the edge of his hairline and really look at him. You look at his hooded eyes with beautiful brown irises, like the sweetest milk chocolate, his fluffy black hair which you run your left hand runs through, his full cheeks, the permanent little smirk on his face, which makes you smile. You chuckle wetly as you squish his cheeks as he chuckles back. You exhale shakily before saying. “It’s like I’m sending you off to war. Is there any chance I can make you change your mind?”

He chuckles at that and shakes his head as he looks back at you tearfully. You nod and softly say. “I thought so.”

You let go of him and you get a tissue to wipe your face. Once your face is dry you go back to him and say. “I’m not gonna stop you. I don’t think I’d be able to anyways.”

You both chuckle at the before you continue. “But I want to help. Whatever you or Bruce want me to do I’ll do. Well less Bruce, more you. I want to do my best to keep you safe. Just because you’re a vigilante doesn’t change that. And I want you to promise me,” You say as you put up your right hand with your pinkie out. “No more secrets. Please.”

He stares at your hand and then at you before asking. “Are you serious-“

“Just take the damn pinkie Jason.” You say with exasperatedly.

He rolls his eyes and then takes it with his own pinkie. You then say. “Promise me, promise me that if there’s anything and I mean anything that is potentially life threatening or changing you will tell me.”

He pauses, thinking about it for a moment before saying. “I pinkie promise to not keep secrets that could be potentially life changing or threatening from you.”

You nod, and before you release his pinkie you quickly add in. “Or else I get a free punch.”

“Hey! That’s not what we-“

“Well I guess you should tell the truth then to avoid getting punched then.” You say with a smirk.

He then rolls his eyes before you pull him into a hug and say. “I love you. So much. You’re my one and only brother-“

“What about Dic-“

You then interrupt him with. “He doesn’t count.”

Jason laughs at that and then says. “I love you too. Until I take my last breath.”

——————————

Tag list: @simpingpandas @randomlyappearingartist @birbtweettweet @soulsire @crazycaoticsimp

I hope you guys liked it! And thanks for waiting patiently! Also I still need a beta reader, not to like edit or anything just to read it over and like critique my stuff. But yeah, this chapter took longer as well as like became longer than I anticipated. I was initially thinking this would be the chapter that I, well, you know. But it didn’t. We’ll also see either Kori and Barbara in the next chapter or so. And if you guys want to see like Ethan again let me know! Because this might be your last chance :)

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

I'm sure this has been said a dozen times already, but it always baffles me when people say "Hannigram isn't canon" , "Hannibal is queerbaiting", "the show should've made them canon" or anything similar to that. I see it less on tumblr, but have seen it elsewhere and it's like, did we watch the same show? Just because they're not making out sloppy style or having intense gay sex on screen doesn't mean they're not into each other?

Like there's a scene where Will straight up asks "is Hannibal in love with me?" and gets a confirming answer. Theres a scene where Hannibal compares them to Achilles and Patroclus. Hannibal turns himself in to the FBI despite being able to escape and he does it for Will! Hannibal is so completely, deeply obsessed with Will because he loves Will. The show makes it explicit time and time again that Hannibal is in love with Will.

And Will is very much into Hannibal as well. I think for Will it might seem less obvious at times, after all, he had a wife and a kid while Hannibal was imprisoned. But ultimately there's a reason why Will chooses to free Hannibal and go with him. They kill the dragon together and Will is the one who says how beautiful it is. Will outright admitted that he wanted to run away with Hannibal, and that want never actually left him.

The show itself coined the term "murder husbands". A character in canon calls Hannibal and Will that. Hannibal refers to himself and Will as Abigail's fathers. They wanted to run away together and be a family. The finale of those two on the cliff embracing and covered in blood is like the most romantic scene ever shown on tv.

Characters do not need to kiss on screen to be canonically in love!

And I think with this show that statement is especially true because of how many times characters *do* kiss and have sex, and it means nothing. Hannibal had sex with Alana as a way to manipulate her and have her blind to what he was doing. He didn't do it out of love. Margot didn't have sex with Will because she was attracted to him. The show displays very obviously that those things don't necessarily equal attraction, and I think it's completely fine that Will and Hannibal never do something like that. Their attraction to each other is still there!

[ally1uvsu]

Freezing. | Choi su-bong (Thanos) x Nam-gyu

Summary; Where Thanos can’t really help but notice how Nam-gyu constantly makes paws with his sweater, and how he sometimes rubs his hands together. Just to his luck, it doesn’t take long for him to discover that Nam-gyu’s body is weirdly cold, just like his hands. Info; fluff, mentions of drugs (avrg thangyu behavior tbh), it’s that whole cold body and warm body shit, definitely ooc but who cares? I don’t, feelings realization because why not, cuddling, Thanos just thinks a lot on this 😭, both of them ponder over their feelings for each other but don’t necessarily speak up, hand-holding (slightly), overall just these two being really, REALLY, gay. Notes; they’re both real gay and we all know it like.. why is Nam-gyu so clingy like chill Thanos is all yours.. anyways uh forgive me if this is bad it’s like nearly 1am and I’m getting the most random ideas but i’m also exhausted so hence why this is so short bye. And also, the lowercase thing is intentional.

It was right after the second game, that stupid pentathlon one. Honestly, it was kind of fun considering the fact Thanos was high off his ass the whole time, just like Nam-gyu.

Nam-gyu, who speaking of which, Thanos was eyeing just now as he watched the short-haired man in line for his food. Thanos couldn’t really help but notice something now that the effects of the drug kind of rested down after the game. Nam-gyu was constantly making sweater paws.

That made Thanos furrow his brow, he observed him rub his hands together before letting them fall limply to his sides as he stepped up in line and grabbed the food from the guard, and Thanos drifted his gaze elsewhere, not really feeling like being caught staring.

The group sat together as always, yet Thanos was a bit quieter than usual. He was thinking, was Nam-gyu cold? Hell, this place wasn’t even cold, surprisingly. It was kept at room temperature and sometimes it even got stuffy after the games due to having over 100 people inside a room to sleep together.

His gaze drifted to elsewhere in the wall as he picked on his food wordlessly, some might as well just think he’s high, at this point. And then Nam-gyu leaves to the bathroom at some point and Thanos is staring again. Which doesn’t go unnoticed by a girl beside him, Se-mi.

"You’re staring." She said teasingly and almost matter-of-factly, shit, was it really that obvious? Yes, it is and he knew it. "Didn’t peg you for the kind of guy to have a thing for people you treat like sidekicks." She snorted, even though Thanos knew she was just teasing, his heart involuntarily skipped a beat.

"The hell would I be staring at him for?" Thanos replied back, although with less bite to it than it’d usually have. "I’m just observing, jeez, a guy can’t even stare anymore nowadays."

"I never said you couldn’t, but you sounded really defensive over there.. sold yourself out." Se-mi said before standing, giving him one last glance. "Y’know, it’s not that hard to see it, honestly. You both don’t even try." And then she left.

Thanos paused, it wasn’t hard to see what? Whatever she was implying.. it wasn’t something the rapper was totally opposed to. Well, in his honest opinion, he has always been bisexual, he often leaned towards women.. but doesn’t really have an experience with men.

But something Thanos can’t deny is that he indeed does find Nam-gyu weirdly attractive at certain points. Well, mainly the way he ducks his head down or covers his mouth when he laughs, or when he bites his lip when he’s focused or even nervous.

And then he stopped, why was he even thinking about this again?

And yet, the poor rapper didn’t even have a chance to think further when his gaze locked into the familiar figure walking back inside the room, again with those stupid sweater paws. Seriously, was Nam-gyu really that cold all the damn time or was it some sort of habit?

But hey, at least he could pull it off. If anything, Thanos thought the way he stupidly covered his hands with the tracksuit jacket as if it was too big for him was cute.

Thanos wondered, Nam-gyu had pretty hands, if he also had to be honest. He drifted off again as the man sat by him and began talking about whatever. Maybe he could hold them? Just not right now, in front of everyone. Just to his luck, Nam-gyu’s bed was above his, Thanos was in luck.

He just kept nodding here and there to whatever Nam-gyu was talking about, and obviously, he noticed it. But didn’t really pay any mind to it, guessing Thanos is just probably high anyways. "And then he messed up on the whole…"

He never would need to know Thanos is wondering if Nam-gyu had a cold body. Thanos knew himself for having a warm body at all times, would it feel good to have Nam-gyu close? Maybe he could use his own body heat to warm him up. And while he brainstormed, whatever his mind picked up from Nam-gyu’s words were all uselessly jumbling up into nonsense into his brain. "Yeah, Nam-su. You tell them." Thanos said without really knowing what was Nam-gyu even talking about.

"It’s Nam-gyu." The other corrected slightly annoyedly, and plus, that didn’t really have anything to do with the topic. Seriously, what was this junkie on? Probably on the pills safely kept inside the cross necklace but whatever, he didn’t have the luxury to pick who listens to him in this hell of a place. "Yeah, whatever." Thanos shrugged at the correction, not thinking much of it, really.

Thanos just really decided to stick to whatever plan he made, which could be considered extremely half-assed. The second it was time for lights out, Thanos found himself sitting on his bunk with Nam-gyu chatting away uselessly about their lives out there.

Well, that was until that fucking voice announced lights would be out in ten minutes, but, at least Thanos could put his plan to action.

"Guess I’ll see you tomorrow, dude. Get some sleep so we can-" Nam-gyu was already standing up as he said that, but he paused when he felt a hand on his. His gaze drifted lower to see Thanos’ hand loosely wrapped around his palm, almost holding it.

"Are you cold?" Thanos finally blurted out, referring to the way Nam-gyu placed his jacket. Thanos let his hand relax onto the other’s, and then he realized just how freezing cold his hand was for some reason. Was Nam-gyu’s body that cold all over?

Nam-gyu seemed to be caught extremely off-guard by the gesture, brows furrowing before he opened his mouth to speak, and yet he didn’t pull his hand back. "Not necessarily," he said quickly, well, yeah, he was cold. But there wasn’t much to do about it and complaining would make it worse.

"Your hands are freezing cold." Thanos said again as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing in the world. "No fucking shit." Nam-gyu said as he finally pulled his hand back. "Whatever, if you’re done holding my hand to state obvious shit, I’ll go to sleep now."

But Thanos didn’t let go this time, determined to buy Nam-gyu with whatever excuse he could find in the moment. "Your body is probably freezing, too. And these blankets are just fuckin’ excuse of an actual one."

Nam-gyu blinked, "The hell are you implying?" And then Thanos scooted over and patted a spot next to him on the bed, looking at Nam-gyu with a almost pleading gaze. He paused for a bit, it wasn’t light anyone would see it, the lights were slowly dimming down to a nothing. And plus, he did feel cold in the moment. Maybe body heat could help him rather than the ass mattress and the stupidly thin blanket.

And then Nam-gyu was sighing and sliding under the covers next to Thanos, he didn’t face him, hell no. Nam-gyu probably would have a heart attack considering how he has been on his head about the purple haired one. As much as he hated to admit it, Thanos’ body felt good against his own. Weirdly warm and comfortable.

He closed his eyes briefly, trying to will away the blush on his cheeks as he felt arms draped over his waist, he could very distinctively feel the rapper’s warm breath on the back of his neck, and it wasn’t long before he felt a hand on his own, with lazily intertwined fingers. He shivered very visibly when he felt a hand slide under his shirt.

Thanos had just found out Nam-gyu’s body was just as cold as his hands, and his own felt actually nice on the raven haired man’s body, they weren’t cold like his, Thanos wasn’t cold like him. Thanos’ body was warm in a comfortable way that Nam-gyu weirdly found himself craving.

"I think I might burn your blanket down so I get to do this more often." Thanos mumbled, a shit eating grin on his face Nam-gyu couldn’t see but he could tell was there. "Don’t you fucking dare, asshole." He said back, but in reality? He wouldn’t mind having this for the rest of the game days until he died, that is, if he does die in here.

And Nam-gyu also found out that he could fall asleep faster than usual with a certain purple haired man with his arms draped over him while his hands were on him.

This probably sucked bye, I’m so sleepy and I have a biology essay due in like five hours and a half and I’m barely halfway through it, enjoy tho:)

[drchucktingle]

work of jordan peele is BIG influence on chuck this is correct. there are quite a few similarities actually, especially when you consider both of us are coming to horror from place of comedy (i personally do not see tinglers as comedy but obviously this timeline has placed them there and i am perfectly okay with this trot).

we are both creating horror stories for our own historically marginalized groups and in particular, writing stories that are SPECIFIC to those groups.

for example when thinking about QUEER HORROR there is plenty of queer horror where the horror itself has nothing to do with queerness, or the queerness is subtext. for instance you could have a slasher where the main characters happen to be gay, but their queerness is not necessarily part of the fear.

on the other hand, CAMP DAMASCUS is directly commenting on a queer issue

BURY YOUR GAYS is directly commenting on a queer issue

by the same token GET OUT is directly commenting on a race issue

US is directly commenting on a class issue which is, of course, going to be wrapped up in topics of race and marginalization

it should be said that the other kinds of horror where issues of the marginalized groups is more in the SUBTEXT are not wrong. there is a time and a place for that. the book that will likely be chucks next horror novel is about bi erasure, but it is much more about the subtext and symbolism. there is a bi lead, but also a monster that does not seem to be about bi erasure AT FIRST. it is much less direct. so there is a time and a place for both kinds of approaches.

but i think the biggest thing that is similar about jordan and chucks approach (and what has been a big influence on me specifically) is that our goal is NOT: 'how HORRIFYING AND TRAUMATIC AND MESSED UP CAN WE MAKE THIS?'

we are doing something else

processing trauma by exposure can be a common goal for horror AND honestly i think it is also totally dang fine to make art like this. there are some incredible pieces where trauma and tragedy is the goal. however (and i will speak for myself here) when you are coming from a buckaroo community that has been through so much of this trauma in real life, i PERSONALLY find that goal to be a little too boring.

my goal is more like this: how can we use this genre of fear and tension that i love to comment and explore and say something new? how can i pull apart an issue and deconstruct it in a way that is cathartic and maybe even changes minds?

so i cannot speak for jordan but i feel like our approaches are similar in this way. i see a LOT of reviews that make comparisons between CAMP DAMASCUS and GET OUT and i am always very flattered

[thehigherseekerastro]

Astro Observations (LGBTQ+ Synastry edition 1)

Hi, everyone! Hope you are doing well!

So, for this series I thought I'd take a specific look at synastry between queer couples.

Most of astrology is built around heteronormativity, and things like synastry get adapted to fit queer people, but from the basic hetero information we have. Some of it works; some of it does not.

So I decided to explore different possibilities, so that we can have a more broad and varied list of info to look into. I will be doing several parts to this, ranging from planets, to signs, to house overlays. And perhaps aspects.

DISCLAIMER: As usual, these are just POSSIBILITIES. They are not rule, and they do not apply to all like the law. Also, individual natal charts MUST BE LOOKED AT AS A WHOLE.

These are my personal observations and findings, and I am always happy to take different input and experiences, so that I can continue building what I know. As I learn, I will be adding more information to posts.

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

PLANETS

Sun -

I noticed that Sun does take a bit more relevance in queer relationships.

All in all, the sun isn't one of the most important planets in synastry, but when it comes to queer dynamics, it seems to be more relevant.

Gay men/masculines - Sun-Sun synastry seems to be relevant here. Specially regarding the aspects.

In gay synastry, I notice that recognition and affinity is very prominent. Men need to feel like the other guy is like him. They need to feel a sense of friendship and kinship.

The sun is a large portion of our ego. So when their suns are in positive aspects (trine or sextile), even if just by degree, men tend to feel attracted. Oppositions may or may not work, depends on their natal charts. Squares are always a no.

Lesbians/feminines - Complimentary Suns, I notice to be the most prominent feature regarding sun synastry between them. In terms of signs/elements.

Women seem to be more into a push and pull dynamic, but not exactly opposites. They want difference between them, but also similarity, so that the purposes are aligned. So combinations between signs in the same element or complimentary elements (water-earth, fire-air) are they most common occupance.

Also, friendship is less of a component of their relationships. So feminines don't necessarily need to be friends before dating, or even feel like their partner is their "friend" a lot of the time. Instead, there's a stronger "familial bond" between them. It's less looking for a buddy, and more looking for a housemate.

Moon -

Because of the nature of being queer, emotional safety is a big component of what makes up a relationship between non-hetero couples.

Moons aspects tend to be more revealing of the shadows of the relationships than the light, though, it seems. So I would argue that it's less likely to have a moon synastry that only shows up good results. Often, it will be a mix of the good and bad of the moon placements.

Gay men/masculines - For men, believe it or not, the more toxic or challenging aspects of the moons tend to breed attraction. They can feel like the conflicting energies represent passion, and it can feel exciting or motivating to conquer, like there will be a big payoff.

It's either that, or the complete opposite, and they seek immense emotional compatibility, so moon conjunct moon or at least in the same sign. Again - having the same moon can lead to emotional exaggeration and fight for dominance too, besides the emotional sameness. Like I said, both aspects - good and bad - tend to manifest.

There's a need to heal or be healed by one another.

Common occurrences are: moon opposite moon, moon square moon, moon in challenging houses (4th, 8th, 12th), or the same moon. Trines tend to be felt as boring.

Lesbians/feminines - Similar to men with the sun, the moon represents the ego for women in these relationships, and therefore, it's where they derive their bond from.

I noticed that a lot of the time, queer feminines tend to look for moon opposition between them, but rather more by sign than by degree. It's not so much opposition specifically, but more like dissonance, which can include opposition. The thing is that they seek very different energies between them, to a point in which they have very defined roles in their relationship (e.g.: the impulsive one and the organized one| the aggressive-possessive one and the submissive-nurturing one| the quiet one and the expansive one etc.)

They like the difference between them, as sort of an emotional need for balance and stability. Different natures account for different aspects of the relationship, which means all bases covered. Woman adapt well to emotions, so moon is also a big planet when it comes to sexual compatibility.

Mercury -

Of course there's all types of experiences and relationships, but I notice a lot of occurrences in which Mercury is more of a problem than a unifier.

We have to understand the deeply psychological nature of queer relationships, considering that LGBTQ+ people live in a binary heteronormative society, but at the same time, existing "outside of it". So the role models of being human are all binary and heteronormative. Queer relationships demand a lot of working through emotional wounds, traditional roles, expectations, dreams of fitting the queer reality into the non-queer molds... But also having all of those feelings unprocessed and unexpressed. So communication is simultaneously a MUST and a struggle.

Gay men/masculines - Despite men being stereotyped as rational, Mercury is actually not that conductive to much in synastry. In terms of attraction, I mean.

Mercury will only really become a thing in these relationships when it's looking at a long-term commitment.

Obviously, poor communication and conflict will ruin ANY relationship. But just like women think they can adapt to any differing emotional reality, men think they can adapt to any differing intellectual reality. Most often, hard aspects will breed clashes. And the positive ones won't really do much, but rather be a nice, soft support. It's just like good conversation.

Most common: Mercuries in the same element.

Lesbians/feminines - Here we have a similar situation. Mercury doesn't really do all that much between women.

Something I notice is quite common is Mercury relations only becoming apparent when it's really conflicting Mercuries, likes squares. Mild or soft aspects between Mercuries are more lived than felt or seen.

Common: Aspects between Mercury and Mars. This one is a key factor in physical attraction between feminines. Even the square can cause sexual tension between them.

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Well, that is it for now, guys!

I hope somebody can resonate with it. Next post will be touching on Mars, Venus and the rising.

Let's give this a test and see if it works. Let me know in the comments if you have anything to add or ask.

MASTER LIST

[croik]

Am I an insane person or does Malevolent kind of have like. A thing with queer coded villains. Not in a positive or reclamatory way either; it genuinely reminds me of like, old Disney movies and 2000s anime where all the most evil and inhuman male characters would also be written as campy and effeminate. And it seems like Harlan has no idea that he's doing it which is... interesting...

Like. Kayne is the most obvious example ofc. He's flamboyant and flirty and gives John and Arthur pet names. And at first I really liked it but the more it became clear that Kayne was a major antagonist and not just a mysterious neutral actor the more it started to put a bad taste in my mouth. It honestly still could have been okay if Harlan had maybe leaned more into the idea of Kayne and Arthur being parallels/foils but that ended up not really being a thing at all. Atp in the podcast I just get this really strange vibe where Kayne is simultaneously an incredibly violent, deceptive and predatory individual, and he's being written as basically canonically attracted to Arthur and it just. Seems like those two things are kind of connected. Again maybe I'm seeing things that aren't there but it seems like there are some "predatory creepy gay without boundaries" stereotypes being expressed here.

Similar issue with the Butcher. He actually has the closest to any sort of textual queerness of any Malevolent character, since he "falls in love" with his victims. Ummmm I kind of thought we had progressed past the "gay/queer serial killer who has an erotic fixation on the people he murders" trope. Apparently not. Again Harlan almost does something interesting/subversive by making our Perfect Protagonist have a weird connection/companionship with the Butcher, but in the end it seems like everyone agrees that they didn't actually have that much in common, obviously Arthur is unequivocally morally better than him, and then the Butcher gets his head exploded.

It's been longer since I listened to seasons 1-3 but Larson definitely had some similar queer-coding going on with him, as well as some other minor villains (Kellin comes to mind). It just seems like a pattern of Arthur being contrasted with characters who are not just morally corrupt but also written as (subtextually sexually) predatory or creepy, especially towards Arthur. And then Arthur is disgusted by their unnatural desires and heroically defeats or evades them. I could be making something out of nothing but it just feels... icky.

You are absolutely not an insane person of any caliber, this is something fandom has murmured about for a long time! It is definitely a thing in the show that just about any character that encounters Arthur becomes immediately obsessed with him. When it's an ally, like Noel, Oscar, even Daniel and Alia, they are almost immediately convinced of his goodness and go to great lengths not just to help him, but to reassure him that he's A Good Man (tm). But when it's the villains? It's this invasive flirtatious thing, where they're threatening not just to kill him but to lock him up in their basement or something, intimate tortures and such. (Larson maybe less so - he seems more like Southern Gentleman approach but much less handsy than Kayne and Collins). And then there's Antoine, whooo boy. If Antoine really is meant to be gay, and thus was also gay in Arthur's prime timeline when he was a Supervillain? Yeesh I don't want to think of the connotations from CoC1.

I don't believe it's intentionally homophobic, necessarily. I think these villains all represent pretty common horror tropes from over the decades, and Malevolent just co-ops them without thinking that deeply about it. In the same way that the entrance to the Witch's home is a smelly vagina wall: vagina walls have been gross in horror movies and games forever! It's here because it's a thing that all people find gross, right?? I don't think it's any different to him than shoving Arthur full of maggots, or the guy in Deviser having his fingernails torn off. These are default things people are scared of you can plop into almost any horror plot.

But in 2025 it's not wrong to want a writer to actually think about the greater context of the "things everyone thinks is scary" they put into their work, like straight men being threatened with sexual violence, or old women living in filth. Yes horror has been here hundreds of times before. But does it need to be here again? When the sexual violence is the only overt queerness on display and half of all women on the show are old and live in filth?

And of course, the fandom is doing really deranged and kinky shit with these villains, which I 100000000% support. But I don't think he fully grasps the difference between "fans making things legit queer for their own amusement and wish fulfillment" and "the creator playing at making things queer because it's creepy."

Thanks for the ask anon <3 It's very interesting stuff to talk about, especially as a queer person who sometimes writes horror.

[yesimwriting]

Louis during the 70’s used to lure men in with a promise of a hookup and drugs from a exclusively gay bar. Where would bestie meet Louis and how would he invite her to his home? Would his intention be to eat her? If not, then what else?

In the show we only see Louis eat men, do you think it’s because of his sexuality or is he just a feminist king who shows mercy to ladies. (… Doubt that since he used to pimp out women. Or do you think he feels guilty and wants to atone by not harming women anymore)

Would Armand freak out even more bc there’s a hot diva in their home where Louis usually does the nasty and then kills men??? Would he think: ”omg is louis so bored of men (me ☹️) he decided to experiment??? also why is the room getting hot when im around her omg wth”

These are such good questions! Tbh, the logistics of it all are part of the reason I haven't really written a 70's era bestie-verse story.

I don't think it's impossible to imagine a situation in which Louis could run into/meet bestie. Maybe not while actively looking for someone to lure back home to hook up with and then kill, but at some point. Maybe on his way to the bar or something.

As far as intentions, I'm not fully sure where I'd want to go with it. I can see a situation in which he smells her blood or hears her thoughts and feels oddly drawn to her is surprised by his desire to consume her blood specifically (lowkey giving twilight core 😭).

I can also see a situation in which he's passing by other bars/a busy area while on his way to go look for men and notices that she's in a bad situation and impulsively decides to help her because she spots him on the street and for a second thinks that he looks kind (similarly to how Louis reacted to Claudia's perception of him while she was dying).

No matter his intentions, he'd approach bestie very platonically. I can see them talking about music or something and Louis inviting her back to his place so that they can listen to music together and drink (and maybe do drugs bc it is the 70's).

I can see Louis and bestie having a drunk therapy session that ends with bestie falling asleep before Louis can get her elsewhere and Armand's first interaction with bestie is him walking in on her and Louis asleep next to each other.

Also, regarding us only seeing Louis eat men, I love labeling it as an act of feminism for fun, but in all honesty, I think a large part of Louis killing men is convenience. If he's looking for someone to hook up with before killing, it's going to be a man. Even if he's lying about his intentions of hooking up with someone, I think it'd still be easier for him to target men because his flirting would be more natural and less forced.

I do think the thought of Louis killing men to atone for the way he treated women in the past is so interesting. He struggles with guilt and his own morality so often, I can definitely see his food preferences being influenced by his past treatment of women. I don't think it'd necessarily be the primary motivator, but I can see it as a contributing factor.

Armand's reaction would be insane. I can imagine him walking in and expecting a male body and seeing a living girl asleep next to his companion. The first assumption is definitely that this is some targeted message about Louis being so "bored" with him he randomly decided to take a break from men to be petty.

Of course, it only takes two seconds of looking into bestie's mind to see that the night was definitely not like that at all, but the damage has been one. I can also see Armand being irrationally offended that Louis decided to make a friend now, like he'd take it as a sign of Louis being sick of him.

Also, love the thought of Armand still having a bit of a crush on bestie. The room starts to feel a little warmer, and he briefly forgets he’s mad and maybe even has a somewhat polite exchange before Louis wakes up 😭.

Anyway, this was a lot of fun to think about, so if anyone wants to talk about this more pls lmk :)

[magnus-marmot]

Luke's band names

A friend asked me if I've looked at Luke's band names through an alchemy lens, so I gave it a thought and figured I'd share my two pennies on it here as well.

Luke's current bands are called Dredgerman and Penny for the Well. A dredgerman is someone who hauls up soil and sediment from the bottom of a body of water. So there's an immediate connection to deep water and uncovering something hidden. Wells carry similar connotations, as the bottom of the well is a common metaphor for dark, secret things that will never see the light of day. This is evoking some lunar symbolism, since we're dealing with darkness, water and secrets. Additionally, pennies were originally made from silver (=Luna).

If we expand the discussion to my other theories, I consider Luna to be the force that reflects your dark, inner needs (your unconscious shadow) and manifests it into reality. Which just sort of happens to align perfectly with the idea of a (distorted) wishing well. I also think Luna is measured by the H value in DPHW, some cases that rank pretty high on that are the Archivist ones (6, 6 and 7). Makes sense, as the Archivist is literally just a mirror to its victim's trauma. But it just so happens that we met the first Archivist victim right after Luke's concert. I don't necessarily think they are literally connected, but I do think they are thematically or narratively connected.

This is less relevant to me, but they later started to make pennies out of copper, which in alchemy relates to Venus or water. And both of the band names deal in water themes. But water by itself has an endless number of meanings, and I'd be here all night if I got into those. In TMAGP it seems to mostly signify dissolution, and it's got consistent ties to the psychological unconscious. The most appropriate metaphor seems to be the "mercurial water/sea", which I've talked about in other posts.

Anyway, I don't know what this means for the plot. Luke is probably under some lunar influences, which probably won't end well for him. But when does it ever? Oh, and I looked into Bullets for Saint Sebastian as well, but couldn't find any alchemy-adjacent symbolism. Though I did discover that Saint Sebastian became a gay icon so that's good.

[falafels]

hello hello may i request to hear some of your katesethaaron thoughts i am considering writing about them and u are the authority to me lmao

orpheus!!! yes you may omg ok SO why they work is because of what they have in common. and it’s not necessarily that they have a lot in common, but the things they do share are some of the things that are most important to each of them (also this is gonna neglect kateaaron a bit because there’s already plenty there but trust that It Is There)

also potential trigger warnings for addiction and eating disorder stuff while i remember

seth and aaron have the most obvious common denominators: histories with addiction, sibling relationships that are perpetually bleeding wounds but also just the guy who took your fucking sandwich, getting angry and hostile and lashing out, refusing to accept good things because it could be a trick, homophobia learned from an intolerant upbringing that they don’t really mean, recreational homophobia learned from the annoying fucking gay people they know that they sometimes mean, being told they’d never be anything and believing it, gaming, hating on kevin, refusing to get involved in neil-andrew-kevin bullshit yet still somehow being the most affected, it goes on. seth and aaron make sense to each other. when aaron doesn’t sleep and he stares too long at dan’s bottle of antidepressants, and when seth’s hand twitches and he snaps at people, they recognise it. and there’s something there, in not having someone try to fix it for you or demand anything of you, but to know exactly what’s happening and how you feel, and share the feeling so it isn’t all trapped inside of only you.

seth also likes to cook. not in the way kevin cooks now he’s learning, with “measuring ingredients” and “preheat oven” bullshit, but with throwing shit in a pan and seeing what happens. and honestly it tends to be pretty good. there have been some flops (SIGNIFICANT FLOPS rip matt boyd and the 22-hour food poisoning incident) but seth likes to be able to make stuff for himself and see what he can do. his favourite is a disposable barbecue in the summer, grill on, burgers, whatever his brother shot in the yard, hot sauce that makes you cry, alabama shit. aaron can’t really cook, nor does he particularly want to, he doesn’t care, doesn’t have the time, and he mostly eats dry cereal anyway and that’s usually fine. he sits up at the table to read from his textbook while seth cooks, and eventually he’s paying far more attention to the way seth is gleefully tossing shit about and seasoning everything to hell and back than he is to anything biochem related. katelyn starts joining them, and she chats to seth while he cooks. she likes to cook as well, in a slightly more technical way but they both agree that anyone who follows the amount of garlic the recipe tells you doesn’t deserve to live. it’s less about the cooking and more about the time they get to spend with each other, and how they’re making each other feel better for it: aaron is no longer in huge vitamin deficit and feeling useless for not caring enough to fix it, he also now has allotted time to go over his reading for class. katelyn has two people who care and actually want to hear about her day, her recipes, her classes. seth feels needed, in that he’s able to look after these two when they won’t look after themselves (because katelyn is more put together than the other two but girl is still premed she’s snacking on energy drinks and fistfuls of raisins), and he has two people who are taking him seriously and actively appreciating something he’s doing and something he’s good at.

what katelyn and seth have in common is kind of the fundamental principle of each of their identities as they try to get better and be better. with katelyn’s cheerleading and seth’s rule-by-violence sibling hierarchy, they both come from a world where you have to care what everybody thinks because if you deviate and do your own thing, you will be eaten alive for it. and they both chose to do their own thing. katelyn, who spent her high school years in the fucking TRENCHES of cheerleader psychological warfare, with everyone pointing out every flaw in each other, every uneven line of eyeliner, every unflattering outfit, every “omg HOW are you still hungry?”, every interaction with a boy making you somehow both a stupid virgin and a reckless slut, every houseparty, every smirk at weird kids, every groupchat that’s identical to the main chat but without one person, every lie and rumour and eating disorder bait, katelyn survived all of it. and she won’t pretend she didn’t participate, she feels horrible about some of the things she was part of at school even if she personally didn’t do any of the really bad stuff. but toeing those lines and following those rules to win a game like that just wasn’t worth it, and so she stopped. she dated the weird short guy who was rude to everyone, and she loved him more than anything. she wore those butterfly hairclips and sparkly jeans that emily said made her look like her mom picked her outfit, and she loved it. she ate the pastries, had sweat marks in public in the summer, didn’t religiously shave her legs every day, spoke to weird kids, did her homework, listened to the shitty bands, and she was better for it.

Seth struggled constantly at home and at psu to do his own thing, because that meant exposing a weak spot and putting yourself in a position where you have to trust the people around you not to shoot. seth had wanted so badly for the team to work, for wymack to be right, but he didn’t want to be the one to trust it first and make that move, because if it failed he’d always been the one to take the punches for it. his relationships with his family were better now, but in the crucible of an adolescent household of nightmares, fistfights, and pills, it had been quite difficult. and the way to survive had been not to care, not to stand out and make things worse for everyone, not to admit that something matters to you. and when seth woke up from the coma to find the foxes working together, not necessarily getting along, but everybody committing to open-hearted sincerity, he cursed himself for not trusting it and decided that he had to start. and it was excruciating. but one of the first times he met katelyn, she was wearing a lime green denim jacket and absolutely going to town on a box of jam doughnuts (she’d offered him one, and he’d taken it before she changed her mind but the rate she’d been plowing through them he did think he might lose a hand) sitting under one of the trees by fox tower waiting for aaron. she’d looked ridiculous in the jacket, and seth had said “nice jacket” in the least mean way he could manage. and she’d said no the hell it is not, but i like it and i’m going to wear it. and it had been a long day for her, and she hadn’t spoken to anyone, and it all came out at seth, who nibbled quietly on his doughnut. aaron got there before he had a chance to respond, but seth remembered and noted katelyn as a person worth listening to and a person he could learn something from. incidentally, katelyn happened to be over the next time seth really, properly wanted to lash out. he was at the point of snapping kevin’s neck when he balled his fist up and stalked out of the room, walked to aaron’s room and collapsed on the ground next to katelyn, who looked confused. seth asked if he could have one of her butterfly hairclips, and it clicked for her what was happening. aaron was still confused as fuck, but they seemed to be getting on and he was closer with seth these days so sure what the hell.

seth still wears that butterfly hair clip, he tried to give it back that day when he went back to his room but katelyn told him to keep it. he put it in the next morning, and the next, and nobody commented, but the more time he spent with both aaron and katelyn, the less he would have cared about it anyway.

basically seth gordon lifeline is stored in these mfs

but pls lmk if you do end up writing anything i would love to read it!! <3333

[coyle-and-co]

prime assets plus my oc …. rrgggg

i can’t be bothered to color them all rn because coyle nearly gave me an aneurysm trying to draw him 😓!!!! (plus i don’t do chibi or line art very often majority of my art is line-less but i haven’t drawn these goobers before so i wanted to practice)

oc ramble from here on out!!!

is this all self indulgent? yeah but it’s MY blog i do what i want ……😈

His name is Dolly (nickname)! He’s an ex-pop of some variety (no idea if i wanna make him a prime asset or not because i feel like id breach mary sue territory ((im the only person who cares abt that)) and hgh)…he’s mostly mute due to his mask muffling his voice!! the mask has a tube that goes into his mouth and down his throat to basically force him to breathe <\3

He’s VERY clingy and affectionate to the other ex-pops, specifically Coyle, Franco, & Gooseberry. They don’t necessarily return his affections but they can’t do anything but take it, not like they can kill him, though it’s nice sometimes when he’s not trailing behind them like a lost dog

He’s particularly keen on Coyle, not in a romantic sense (or sexual, or anything really) but he sees him as an authority figure only because he was a cop. Coyle enjoys that part but not when he interrupts his “investigations” to grab his arm or something. He tends to hug him from behind which will scare the shit out Coyle if he’s not paying attention, and he will thrash until Dolly either lets go or he gives up lmao 😭

With Franco, they both don’t really know what to make of each other but Dolly thinks he’s adorable (in a murder-y sense HAHA), usually doting on him or trying to coddle him randomly. Which Franco gets a kick out of unless he’s actually trying to do something then he looses his rag a bit at him (and Gooseberry makes him say sorry) ((he won’t))

Gooseberry is Dolly’s FAVORITE, mostly because out of all the prime assets she’s the most receptive towards his physical affection, always accepting his hugs and doesn’t mind that he follows her around. She is after all a “mother”, so to her he’s just a clingy child. However if he breaks anything in the orphanage she will put him on time out 😓

He’s confused by the reagents mostly, he’s not the brightest and has no idea why they run away from him, however he does tend to hurl explosives at people for shits and gigs so maybe that’s why (he won’t put two and two together)

Pitcher, Pusher & the grunts find him more than a little irritating, mostly because he tends to get in the way of them doing their jobs (murdering reagents)

He’s easily stunned and a good brick to the face will knock him flat for a bit, but he all thinks this is a fun little game </3

Dolly’s whole get up is inspired by the one gimp outfit from the unholy night pack, haven’t figured out a lore reason why he’d wear it other than he’s gay i guess, but he does like to cross dress (much to the disgruntlement of Coyle, who has probably hurled a few slurs at him from time to time, Gooseberry just loves to help him dress up and Franco doesn’t care enough about what he’s doing when he’s not babying him, just assumes Dolly’s a pervert)

i loaf him so….i wanna crush him in my palm…like bug

[missyandthemisfits]

Tokyo Rev - Sexual Orientation Headcannons

18+ Random Personal Headers

Mikey - Pansexual

Doesn't really go out of his way to find mates, truly they just find their way to him. Has a slight preference to women but that's just because boobs are awesome. 

Draken - Hetero with a capital HETERO

He knows what he likes and he's never questioned it, really. Has the idea of it crossed his mind? Yea. Nothing against it either, just not for him. 

Baji - Questioning 

He's pretty sure he's into women, but between the age of 14-17, really finds himself questioning these sudden specs of romantic feelings for certain dudes...no one is the wiser.

Chifuyu - Straight with Bi Tendencies 

Chifuyu is very into women - but also he'd be lying if he said he's never uh...experimented before. Decided the only pegging he enjoyed was with/by a beautiful woman.

Mitsuya - Bi

He has fairly recently discovered he is indeed attracted to men and women and he's fairly comfortable coming out to his people too. He's confident enough to wear it pretty proudly after a very short insecure period. 

Hakkai - It's giving Gay

At some point in life, Hakkai realizes that the real reason he's so awkward around women is because he's aware he's 'supposed' to want to date them and find them enticing but...doesn't. Men are more his speed and he's starting to be okay with that. Has yet to tell Taiju-

Smiley - Straight, but has dabbled

Smiley will try anything once - and has, but it's not his thing. Just thinking about a woman in a lewd position drives him insane, men just don't do it for him. 

Angry - Questioning (but may or may not have a preference for women)

The thought of romance in general kinda scares the crap outta him cause he's always wondering if he's doing enough or if perhaps he's doing too much - so given that, of course he hasn't settled on a person, or sex, of choice. Whoever it is, he just wants to make them happy - inside and outside of the bedroom

Kazutora - Believes he's Hetero, Turns out his Bi

Kazutora is well into his adulthood when he finally figures out he's attracted to the same sex as well as the opposite sex and while he doesn't necessarily like the idea of a relationship at first, he grows to understand he needs that sort of intimacy. Once he starts, he can't get enough of it.

Akkun - Straight, but has dabbled.

It was less about curiosity for him and more of a getting caught up in the moment as some dude, equally as drunk, came onto him. The kiss was fine...but he quickly decided it's not his cup of tea.

Takuya - Demisexual 

Takuya is into men and women but even more so, he's into emotional intimacy and connection. You can be the most attractive person he's ever seen but if there's no real connection, there's 0 chance of you guys being more than friends. Thems the breaks.

Taiju - Very Hetero

Taiju is strictly a taco eater, nothing to question and no reason for any complicated discussions with himself - he knows what he wants and needs and what he NEEDS is the bodacious body of a curvy woman-

Yuzuha - Bi with wavering preferences 

Yuzuha is bisexual but goes through phases where she's either only looking for men or only looking for women. She's got no idea why she's like this, her brain is just wired like that - can relate!

Kokonoi - Bisexual

Of course he's into men and women, he doesn't have a real preference either. Either is just fine - but he does like them very pretty, long eyelashes and all that jazz. He thinks he's not picky, he totally is. 

Inui - A Lazy Pansexual

Romance takes quite a bit of energy, energy that Inui could be using for other "more productive" things - but also he likes... I dunno, everyone? Like, he genuinely does not care what you identify as, if he's down he's down.

Ran - Straight and promiscuous 

He is, I kid you not, damn near insatiable sexually. Only gets it on with women and has only really had a few real relationships, but he's had more than his fair share of lovers.

Rindou - Demi, Sapio 

Eh, he's not much of a people person if we're being completely honest. Doesn't discriminate against sexes, just doesn't wanna waste his time with meaningless sex. Despite his complicated titles, he's very simple to please and is a fairly easygoing partner.

Senju - Lesbian with Straight Tendencies 

@me if ya want, but Senju is someone who adores female companionship above all when it comes to relationships. She can kiss dudes no problem and has had several crushes but she can't really see a future with them.

You can’t convince me Takemichi isn’t not so secretly Bi