#(they actually work on keith he just refuses to admit it)

[klancer-warrior]

season 1-3 silly klance bc i miss them like this

[shatterinseconds]

“Baby,” Lance says.

Keith snorts, loud and uncaring. “God no, not in a million years.”

“Alright.” Lance scratches out a line on his pad of paper. “Does that mean babe’s out too?”

Keith wrinkles his nose. “It’s not the best but tolerable.”

“We’ll note that as a strong maybe.” In which Lance actually does mark down a quick note to the side of the list, and Keith catches himself from rolling his eyes.

For the past week, they’ve been staying at Lance’s family home in Cuba while they decide on their next steps in a post Voltron, post war world. They rest on the back patio, facing the backyard that really extends into open land far beyond them, neighbors a mile away at least. It’s quiet and beautiful and even when the commotion of Lance’s entire family is present, it’s one of Keith’s new favorite places in the world. They watch Lance’s niece and nephew for the afternoon while Lance’s older brother runs errands and Lance’s mother prepares dinner.

Keith angles his head closer to Lance, though he’s still mostly blocked by the small table between them, and gestures to the list. “Is this really necessary?”

“Pet names are important to me,” Lance replies with a quirk to the corner of his mouth. The summer breeze, fresh off the ocean and carrying a thin taste of salt, curls through his brown hair. “Mullet is great but I need at least one more that’s affectionate.”

Keith scrunches his nose.

The thing is, all of this is new to Keith. The peace, the stability, having a permanent place to call home again, and… their relationship. They’ve been dancing around each other for years, as their teammates love to complain about, but officially being together, having the ability to call Lance his partner, boyfriend, lover? That all happened less than a couple weeks ago—and yet it already feels timeless.

Seeing Keith’s reluctance, Lance stands to relocate himself on Keith’s lap, settling his full weight on Keith’s thighs. Keith glares, though he moves his hands onto Lance’s hips and his fingers wiggle under Lance’s loose shirt to hunt for warm patches of skin. Lance tugs on his ears, guiding Keith to tilt his head and capture his mouth in a soft kiss. 

And what a lovely kiss it is.

“I’m trying to be nice by giving you a choice.” Lance laughs a little when they break apart, only to lean back down. He stops a hair’s breadth away from Keith’s mouth. When he speaks again, his breath drifts over Keith’s lips, a soft caress. “What about sweetheart, honey bunches, pickle?”

“Okay, now these are just getting ridiculous.” Keith wraps his arms around Lance’s waist, pulling him closer, and buries his nose into the crook of Lance’s neck.

“I don’t know,” Lance mutters, starting to absently play with Keith’s hair, twirling the long strands around his fingers. “I’m kinda partial to sweetheart.”

“Yeah, that’s not bad,” Keith admits as a faint blush rises on his pale cheeks. He tries to bury his face deeper to cover it, but he should’ve guessed how well that would work out.

A shit-eating grin stretches wide across Lance’s face; Keith can feel it against the side of his head. “I see we’ve found our winner.” Humming, Lance leans down toward Keith’s ear. “Sweetheart.”

Face glowing and mind reeling, Keith shoves Lance off his lap. “Shut up,” he lightly growls, mortified at his own reaction.

Lance arches his head back as he cackles from his spot on the ground, eventually flopping down and pillowing his head with his hands as he lazily stares up at Keith. That shit-eating grin refuses to fall off his face. “Yeah, this is going to be fun.”

And despite Keith’s own face remaining beet red, he can’t help but smile too.

[sexisbetteronthemoon]

What are their arguments like and who (if either) tends to pick fights more often? Does Lance make Keith sleep on the couch?

they're petty as hell and they fight for fun.

it's Lance who pretends to take offense at the most random things to get the ball rolling bc he's better at improv and Keith is either very awkward when he tries to start a fight, or he accidentally pushes them into a real fight.

it also helps Lance a lot with his little unreasonable neuroticisms. it's like an exercise in which they reassure each other how much they care.

Lance helps Keith distinguish their play fights from real fights by saying, very seriously, “I'm angry at you, Keith.”

that's how Keith knows shit just got real.

Lance knows when Keith is actually mad bc he goes quiet and refuses to look at him.

Keith gets off on how ridiculous Lance is. he enjoys the fight bc he loves challenges, and especially "making up" with Lance. he loves working for "forgiveness" because it's a game to see how fast he can make Lance smile. it's a personal victory when he gets Lance laughing and smacking at him in annoyance for winning.

Keith is aware that sometimes Lance gets a little insecure. and he knows simply telling Lance he loves him won't make it all dandy. so if Lance wants to berate him for seemingly looking at someone else or not immediately kissing him first thing in the morning, he's going to play along.

anything to make Lance happy.

the only times Keith ends up on the couch is when Lance is too annoyed by losing to admit defeat. he tells Keith to sleep on the couch and then shows up two hours later, bodily collapsing upon him to snuggle with him because he missed him. Keith always bursts out laughing when he does this, and sometimes they end up making out. one of them usually ends up on the floor when Kosmo joins them on the couch.

somehow, it's almost always Keith.

when they fight for real, it's nothing like their play fights. there's no tirades, no yelling, not even any screaming.

Lance's voice will lower, and his expression will be dead serious like he's back in the war looking through the scope of his rifle.

on the other hand, Keith will just not interact. his body language changes. he tenses up, especially at the shoulders, and widens his stance, like he's getting ready to receive a physical blow. he withdraws into himself and he avoids talking to Lance. he dodges any attempts and he walks away until Lance finally waits until he's in the bathroom (on the toilet, specifically bc if he's in the shower, he's capable of walking out and leaving a trail of water and soap) and then walks in, closing the door behind him.

“we're talking,” Lance will say firmly while Keith sits on the toilet and sighs heavily bc he forgot to lock the bathroom door again. (this is not the first time and it will not be the last.) he doesn't appreciate being cornered, but it's the only way Keith will actually talk to Lance and not run away.

even when they fight for real, Lance will not kick Keith out of bed. they might still be angry, but they have been thru too much to go to sleep without each other. they might start off facing away from each other, but eventually, they will migrate, either purposely or in sleep, toward the other.

sometimes, it's Keith who shuffles over and wraps an arm around Lance from behind, fingers threading with Lance's.

sometimes, it's Lance who scoots back until their backs are pressed together. and he reaches behind himself to wrap and arm around Keith. it's uncomfortable, and Keith knows this. and he eventually sighs and turns over to wrap an arm around Lance.

they never reject each other. Lance has received too much rejection from Keith to take it well, and Keith still has abandonment issues from the trauma of losing so many people.

sometimes, they both reach out and hold hands from opposite sides of the bed.

they never talk in these moments unless it's to apologize or to whisper, “I still love you. Do you still love me?”

And the other will say, “Of course I do, but sometimes you piss me off. Still, I'd rather you be here to piss me off, than be gone.”

in the mornings tho, the sun's rays will spill through the blinds, and one will wake to see their partner dappled in sunlight. and it's kind of hard to stay mad after that.

they wait until the other wakes, and then they'll talk, quietly and calmly, until it's either solved or they promise to work on the issue more.

[buckysgrace]

Mittens

A Christmas party leaves Steve hopeful as he finally admits his feelings.

CW: mentions of past pseudocest, mentions of alcohol, weed use, blowjobs, fem!oral sex, fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, dirty talk, some spitting and cum swapping, implied former pseudocest

Another gift for my sweet @sadhours who has been denied the gift of these two for so long. I hope you enjoy <3

Art at the bottom by @Scott1505236401 on twitter!! Her commissions are open!!

Kim

Kim stood in the corner, nursing a cup of sparkling cider as she examined the room in front of her. They had pushed the racks of movies towards the back of the room, leaving space to bring out the fold out tables. The air was sickeningly sweet, likely from all the desserts that had been brought out. 

She hadn’t been working at Family Video for very long, but it gave her more money than her previous job had. She felt bad for Susan, her mother. She knew she needed to help out in some way, so that’s what she did. She worked most nights, bringing her homework in on the slow nights so she wouldn’t fall behind in her classes.

The decorations had been thrown together last minute, strung up haphazardly about twenty minutes ago because Keith had failed to mention that he wanted the store to actually be decorated. It was messier than what she was used to, the simple decorations mirroring the ones that were currently strung up in her trailer. But she had at least made it look nicer. 

It wasn’t quite elbow to elbow, but there were more people than usual within the store. Partners were allowed to be brought, which signaled her out. She didn’t have anyone to bring along. She had attempted Max, figuring that her sister would make it less lonely, but she had refused in the end. 

“Pretty boring.” A soft voice appeared behind her, making her startle at the sudden intrusion. 

“Oh,” she jumped, nearly toppling her drink over in the process. Steve reached out at the same time she did, balancing her cup so that only a little bit of the liquid toppled out onto their fingers, “Oh God. I’m so sorry.”

“No, that was my bad,” he said with a little laugh, shaking his head as he quickly grabbed them a few napkins, “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He replied quickly, beginning to dab her fingertips clean. She blinked, trying to remember where he had disappeared to.

He had long removed his vest, the same way she had. His sweater was green, filled with various Christmas designs. She thought it looked cute, meanwhile hers was a bulbous white one. It had been her father’s years ago and was much too big for her, making her look like a giant marshmallow. But it was the only thing that she had. 

“You didn’t,” she gulped, realizing how snappy she sounded, “I mean, maybe you did a little bit.” She replied in a joking manner, breathing in deeply to make herself relax. She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous suddenly. She’d spent a lot of time with him recently, he was a good friend. In some way. 

“Sorry,” he apologized, giving her a little grin, “I’ll announce myself better next time.” He added as she set her drink down, moving the napkin across the rim, so the cup wouldn’t be sticky. 

“It’s fine,” She shook her head, “I was just distracted.” She admitted a second later, feeling like that was the best way to describe how she had been for the past few months. Everything felt rushed, but also slow at the same time. Like she’d been stuck in some sort of weird rut. 

“She looks happy, doesn’t she?” Steve asked her as he turned his attention back to Robin, his arms crossed in some proud way at the way she spoke to Vickie. She hadn’t came with Robin for obvious reasons, but they lingered by each other now. They were laughing about something, Kim wondered what.

“How long ago did they get together?” she asked softly, keeping her voice low just to be safe. She didn’t want to be the reason that Robin got exposed. But they were a cute couple, she just wouldn’t say that out loud. 

“Why, are you jealous?” he teased as he watched her, his eyes flickering with warmth. Her lips parted, wondering if he still thought that she had some sort of crush on Robin.  

“No,” she squeaked out quickly, her face burning once again, “They just look really cute together is all.” She nodded her head in determination as she continued to watch them, feeling like there was a knife going through her heart. It had nothing to do with Robin, rather how she deeply missed having someone to laugh with in that manner. She missed him. 

“A few months ago,” he replied a second later, his eyes warm against her face, “I’m glad I’m not the only single one here.” He added softly, his eyes still lingering on her face. She didn’t have the strength to look at him, embarrassed at how her relationship had fallen apart. 

“Me too,” she told him softly, “It feels nice not to stick out.” She told him truthfully as they fell into silence once again. She still hadn’t really mastered how to speak to Steve, knowing that she overthought every little interaction. Even when they worked together they were mostly quiet. Silent but comfortable. 

“How are things with you and -,” he began to bring him, his features turning to confusion as she faced him for the first time. 

“Nothing,” she said quickly, cheeks burning and eyes widening in fear that he would mutter his name. She didn’t need her heart to break all over again, “There’s nothing between us. We’re over.” She told him, the words clawing at her mouth like knives. It didn’t feel right to say that out loud, even if it was true. Well, at least for Billy.

It made sense that when Neil left, Billy left too. Even if he didn’t leave with his father, what else did Billy have left in this town? It wasn’t even worth staying another year for her. No, she had gotten left behind too.

She found out two weeks after he left that he had hooked a ride with Tommy; made his way back to California. Where he belonged. He sounded happy, at least at first. She remembered when they’d spend hours talking over the phone, how she would write so many letters that it made her hand cramp and fingers stiff.

Now she was too afraid to even dial the phone, knowing that she had become a burden again. He was out living his life; one of freedom. Like he deserved, and she couldn’t be angry at that. The last time they spoke she could hear the guilt in his voice, how his tone strained. And she couldn’t be the one to force him.

But she still wrote to him, even though she didn’t send them. The letters were hidden in her dresser drawer, slowly becoming reminders that she wasn’t good enough. She was sure they would be too heavy for him to read anyway, too tear soaked to make out the words. It served as just a little reminder for herself. 

“Oh,” he blinked slowly, like he didn’t understand, “That’s too bad.” She could tell by his tone that he was being honest, even if him and Billy hadn’t grown to be very close. She wished she could explain it more, but she was unable to. She knew she’d only end up crying if she opened up the scar on her heart. 

“I heard that you and Gina broke up,” she stated suddenly, crossing her arms over her chest in fear that he could see the gaping wound that was her heart. It felt easier to put him on the spot, even if it felt a little mean right now.

“Mutual agreement,” he said quickly as he took a long gulp from his cup, “I think she loves someone else.” His reply was soft, yet bitter at the same time. She felt bad for him, knowing that this was the second big heartbreak that he had gone through. 

“That sucks,” she nodded her head as she allowed herself to meet his big brown eyes, his features warm against the soft flickering of the Christmas lights. There was something soft in the way he composed himself, how he looked at her. It was different from a few months ago. 

“I guess I’m used to it,” he gave his shoulders a little shrug, a small smile on his lips as he teased himself. She nodded her head in agreement, wishing she had some sort of advice to give him. But she had none. She still hadn’t finished nursing her heartbreak. 

“I didn’t realize there would be so many couples here.” She told him instead, surprised that so many of her coworkers had someone else. She wished that she wasn’t so bitter and jealous. She wanted to have someone.

“I knew there would be as soon as Keith started talking about the girl he was seeing.” He snorted as he leaned against the counter, cocking his eyebrows like he was surprised. Keith’s girlfriend seemed nice, at least from the brief interaction they’d had with one another. 

“They make a really good couple.” She nodded her head as she pressed her lips together in a smile, hoping that would at least keep Keith off of her back. He wasn’t a creep, but he had attempted to ask her out more than what she was comfortable with. 

“Odd.” He snorted softly, taking her by surprise. Okay, maybe they did look a little odd but there was nothing wrong with that. Odd was better than nothing. 

“Odd can be good,” she giggled softly as she watched him, “At least he’s happy.” She hummed as she stole another cookie off of the tray, feeling like she hadn’t gone overboard on eating her feelings tonight. 

“Good for at least one of us.” He mumbled as he shook his head, reaching across her to grab a similar cookie from the tray. He munched on it roughly, looking as if he still had something to say. 

“Come on,” Robin rushed over, the fake antlers on her head nearly toppling over, “We’re starting the gift exchange.” She grinned in excitement as she gestured back towards the table of presents. Kim watched her for a moment, observing how her shirt was similar to Steve’s. They must’ve gotten it together, or maybe it was an older version of his. 

“I want to open mine first.” He stated proudly, making her heart drop a little bit. She didn’t want him to open his first, fearful that he wouldn’t like it. She didn’t want everyone to have to witness his displeasure. 

“Now?” Her voice cracked as she asked the question, her feet dragging on the floor as she followed them towards the messy table. Her pulse had quickened against the crook of her neck as her nerves settled on top of her. She wasn’t happy with how this was going. 

“Yes.” He stated sternly and proudly, his lips curling into a bright grind. He looked determined, making her emotions much more worried than she had been. 

She had panicked the second since she read who she had gotten for the gift exchange. Steve. It was like fate was cruelly digging its nails into her once again, because how else would the poorest one end up having to buy something for the richest coworker. What was she supposed to get for someone who had everything? 

From working late night shifts with him, she knew that he liked junk food. Popcorn with extra butter with some Raisinets thrown in there. In fact, his sweet tooth certainly challenged hers. More often than not, they’d end up sharing multiple bags of candy before the night was over. That was a start.

She forced herself to move, even though she felt like she had cement bricks stuck to her feet. She picked up the bag that she had delicately assembled, taking a deep breath as she walked towards him. 

“This is mine then?” He questioned as she passed the bag to him, her heart hammering at the way his brown eyes softened as he took it from her. She breathed in deeply, trying to ignore the flush in her cheeks as she gave a quick nod of her head in confirmation, “Sweet.” He was still watching her as he held the bag close to his lap, lips curled into a gentle smile. 

She sat back near Robin again, nervously twiddling her hair as he began to roughly pull the gift wrap out of the bag. He didn’t unwrap things neatly like Billy did, quite the opposite actually. He was excited, like he couldn’t wait to see what was inside.

“I hope you like it,” she added softly, feeling worried as he began to pull items out of the bag, “I wasn’t sure what to get you.” She told him seriously, wishing that he had written on the list of suggested items. He had only shrugged and told Robin that he needed nothing when she had asked. 

“Candy,” he grinned as he pulled it out, “Going straight for my heart.” He was teasing, but that did nothing to stop her pulse from quickening against the side of her neck. She wasn’t trying to impress him. Well, maybe she had been a bit. She just didn’t want to be labeled as a bad gift giver either. 

“It’s all grape flavored.” Robin stated as she leaned over, inspecting the various candy bags that he pulled free. She wrinkled her nose up, looking less than pleased by the choices. 

“I love grape.” He stated as he wrinkled his eyebrows in confusion, pausing his movements as he looked at her seriously. Kim breathed in deeply at his confirmation, recalling how he always ate the grape flavored candies that they shared.

“You’re odd, Harrington.” She replied as she sat back in her spot, only to be hit with a piece of wadded up wrapping paper. She scoffed, shoving at Steve as he dug back into his bag. 

“Some music,” he replied proudly as he waved the tape around, “A new wallet, some cologne, a mug-,” He paused as he looked up at her, eyebrows crinkling together, “Kim, there’s a bunch of items in here.” He replied as his eyes met hers, a puzzled look on his features. She shifted in her chair, feeling uncomfortable by the people that turned towards her. Now, she felt like she had overdone herself. 

“I didn’t know what to get you,” she blushed harshly, feeling like she really hadn’t gone overboard, “There’s just one more thing at the bottom.” She said softly, watching as he began to tug the yarn out of the bottom of the bag. She wondered if she should have said anything at all, or if it would’ve been better for him to find it later on his own. Or to destroy it. It wasn’t any of her business. 

It had taken her some time to figure out what colors he would like, but she finally landed on a soft red.  She knew handmade items weren’t very popular, but she hoped he liked it the same.

“Wow,” he paused as he examined it, holding it out to make her wince. She hadn’t realized just how long she had made it, “I love it.” He told her genuinely, eyes cozy and syrupy as they made contact again.

“Really?” She asked him as she bit back her smile, feeling relieved suddenly. He had been a lot harder to shop for than what she had expected and she knew that had made gifts weren’t really wanted, but he had at least mentioned that he enjoyed practical things. A scarf was practical. 

“Yeah,” he smiled as he looped it around his neck. She winced, noting that she had definitely made it too long, “This is definitely going to keep me warm. And I can’t wait to listen to the mixtape.” He nodded his head encouragingly, making her feel much better.

“I don’t know much about music,” she started as she crossed her legs, twisted her fingers through her hair, “So I hope you like it.” She said softer this time, trying to keep herself from bouncing her leg up and down. She could feel her face burning, her nerves shot as she waited for someone else to grab a present. She was not going next. 

“My turn,” Robin clapped her hands as she stood up, grinning widely as Keith brought her rather heavy looking bag over, “Thank you.” She shared a quick look with Steve, something that everyone else seemed to miss. He rubbed the side of his temple, like he already knew it would be bad. 

“What did you get?” Vickie questioned as she began to dig through her bag, paper and glitter flying through the air as she did so. Kim leaned forward, trying to get a better look at it. 

“Fruitcake,” Robin responded, a tight smile forming on her lips, “Gee, thanks. I love fruitcake.” She nodded as she held up the loaf of fruitcake, lumpy and neatly browned. Steve covered his palm over his mouth, hiding away his grin. 

“My mom made it,” he said proudly, nodding his head, “Oh, but there’s a gift card in there.” He said at last, at least making it up to her in some way. At least he tried, even though Robin’s list had been long and detailed. 

“I also love shopping, so thank you,” she nodded as she put her items back in her bag, “Well, let’s keep going.” She pressed her lips tightly together, eyes crinkling as Steve nudged her foot with his. A little knowing gesture, reminding her that they would be discussing that later. 

Kim watched as the rest of them opened their presents, deciding that she would just prefer to go last anyway. She wasn’t too keen on everyone watching her, but she supposed she’d have to suffer like the rest of them had.

She held her fingers tightly together, trying to keep herself from chewing her lipstick off as everyone else engaged in conversation around her. She wasn’t really sure how to talk to anyone else, despite spending so much time working with them. Like she was an outsider. 

“Here,” she blinked up in surprise, not expecting for Steve to be the one that had her name, “I got this for you.” He clarified as he held it out towards her, his hair falling onto his forehead. It was slightly longer than it had been over the summer. 

“Thanks,” she mumbled, examining the wrapped present in front of her. It was messy, with at least five bows shoved on top of it to likely cover up the pieces of the wrapping paper that had come undone, “I’m sure I’ll love it.”

She gently ripped the paper apart, revealing a box that had the top messily folded in on itself. She pulled that open next, beginning to dig through the items. There were four different copies of various romance novels, new ones that she hadn’t read. A pink pair of fuzzy socks, a lotion and perfume set, and then a smaller box inside.

She pressed it open softly, eyes widening as she revealed the pair of earrings. There were two gems, a small circle one that rested against her earlobes and then a long oval one that would dangle. They were green, emeralds she assumed. Along the edges of the emeralds were smaller golden stones, making her sure that he had definitely gone over their twenty dollar budget. 

“Do you like it?” He asked her, his tone filled with just as many nerves as hers had been. She wasn’t sure how he thought she’d say no. Of course she loved it.

“Yeah,” she told him in surprise, blinking quickly, “It’s stunning. All of it. Thank you.” She told him quickly, feeling like her heart had only started to bleed harder. She wasn’t going to allow herself to feel the cracks, to break down. Not now. This was something good. 

“Good,” he smiled at her, lines forming underneath his eyes from where he was grinning so hard, “The green reminded me of your eyes.” He told her, leaving her surprised. She had never had anyone mention that the green stuck out. 

“We should do a round of white elephant.” Robin suggested as she clasped her hands together, taking Kim by surprise. She jumped as she quickly turned away from him, hoping that he didn’t feel that she was staring at him. She was just grateful. 

“What’s that?” Steve asked as he drew his eyes away, his eyebrows furrowing together at the way she smirked at him. She held her gift back up dramatically, giving it a little shake. 

“You get a chance to steal a present,” she nodded, smiling brightly, “And then that person gets to take someone else’s gift.” She gave her shoulders a little shrug, earning a little round of agreements through the room. Kim stared back down at the jewelry in her hands.

“Sure,” she glanced around, only because she didn’t want to be the only one to disagree, “That seems like fun.” She replied as she kept a tight grip on her present, unwilling to let it go. She didn’t think it would be right to give her present up, not when Steve had spent time thinking about what she would like. And how he had based a gift around her eyes. It was special. 

“I can start then,” Robin declared as she held her hands together, her blue eyes falling to Steve’s gifts on his lap, “Hand it over, Harrington.” She replied proudly with a smirk, moving her hand up to tug on the bottom of her scarf.

“No.” He said quickly as he pulled away, his eyebrows furrowed tightly together as he picked up his bag and held onto it tightly. She felt herself sighing underneath her breath, feeling relieved that he didn’t want to let it go so easily. 

“You have to.” Robin protested as she looked at him in disbelief, glancing around the room to wait for some kind of support. But no one else intervened. Kim liked Robin, but she didn’t want Steve to pass it along either. 

“I’m not giving it up.” He said as he shook his head sternly, looking serious as he clutched the bag closer to himself. She felt her chest lurch as he glanced towards her, amusement brewing inside his eyes. 

“That’s not how the game works.” She continued to protest, kicking her feet out this time as she whined. He shrugged his shoulders, looking like it wasn’t his problem. 

“Well I don’t care,” he retorted, “It’s mine and I’m not giving it up.” He replied as he leaned towards her, giving her a grin. She scoffed as she placed her palm over his face and roughly pushed him away. 

“You’re such a spoiled brat.” She huffed as she rolled her eyes, scanning the room as she tried to decide on who to attack next. Kim pulled her bag closer to herself, just to be safe. She tried to remain relaxed, however, just in case Robin was looking for someone that wanted to keep their gift.

“You’re just jealous that I got the best gift.” He replied proudly as he fussed with his now messy hair, then wiped at his face from where she had pushed him. Something inside of Kim bloomed from his words, excitement tickling the butterflies inside of her stomach. She hadn’t felt this giddy in a long time. It confused her. But she had long learned that the deeper she thought about her feelings, the more confused and upset she grew. It wasn’t worth meddling in. 

Robin tried a few more times before she ended up unsuccessful, stuck with her lumpy loaf of fruitcake. She felt bad, but she didn’t want to exchange with her either. Her gift truly did feel special. She couldn’t wait to tell Max about it and Susan-, even though she knew she’d be teased about it. 

No one tried to steal her gift, which she was happy with. She was sure that she wouldn’t be able to defend herself in the same way that Steve had. All the confidence she felt like she had gained over the summer had slowly seemed to slide away, disappearing just like he had. 

She took one more swig from her cup, wishing that there was something stronger in it as she downed the rest of the liquid. She checked the clock on the wall, confirming that Susan would be home by now. She just hoped that she hadn’t forgotten about her again. 

“Thanks for this again,” Steve approached her, making her jump once again. She laughed awkwardly as she rubbed at her chest, unsure of why she was so tense, “I really love it.” He told her as a soft smile spread across her lips, making her wonder why she had ever stopped liking him in the first place. 

“Well,” Keith grinned at the two of them, holding his items in hand as he wiggled his way between into the small gap, “I hope you don’t mind locking up.” He added slowly, making her blanch. 

“What do you mean?” Steve spoke up, looking just as irritable as she felt. She fought the urge to sigh and roll her eyes. She needed this job, but it was late. She wanted to get home and have a good cry. She thought she was allowed to do that. 

“You were on shift so,” he nodded his head as he looked at them back and forth, “I sort of need you to clean up.” He added as a kind smile filled his lips. She closed her eyes, feeling like she should’ve known there would’ve been a reason nobody else wanted this shift. 

“But this is everyone’s mess.” Steve gestured about, his expression dripping with frustration. She bit her lip as she shrugged her jacket off of her shoulders again, feeling like there was no point in arguing. She just hoped she’d be paid for it. 

“But you’re off tomorrow, so that’s fun!” Keith added as he clapped his hands together, the sound muffled from the mittens on his gloves. She supposed he was right. Maybe it was only fair. Or maybe she was just too tired to argue with him. 

“It’s fine,” Kim nodded her head, interjecting the two of them, “It won’t take long to finish up.” She tried to sound as encouraging as she could, even though she wanted to kick her feet in defeat. Closing always seemed so much worse when she was wanting to rush to get out. 

The glitter and garlands had seemed to be a good idea at first, but now it was more of a pain to get it all tore down. They ended up discarding them into old paper bags, unsure if anyone was wanting to keep them or not. Steve had already torn down two of the windows before she had asked if it was supposed to be kept up until the year was officially over. Neither of them knew the answer, so they went with no. 

Once the racks were back to normal and freshly organized after she had accidentally toppled once over, they decided it was good enough for them to leave. Everything looked like it was back to normal, for the most part. 

“I need to call my mom,” she said as she glanced at the time, “She’s supposed to come and get me.” She replied as she peeked out the windows again, noting how it was vacant. Steve’s car was the only one that was sitting there nicely, covered with a fresh layer of snow. 

“Sure,” he nodded his head, “I’ll wait.” He shrugged his shoulders as he leaned against the desk, his scarf wrapped loosely around his neck. 

She winced as she typed in the number, taking in a deep breath as she reminded herself that the phone bill had been paid. That couldn’t be the excuse this time. She listened as it rang and rang, and rang a little more. No answer. She hung the phone up in defeat, unsure of what she was supposed to say. 

“She’s not answering,” she pressed her lips together, trying not to think about what that meant, “It’s not a long walk from here.” She replied as she wrinkled her features up, thinking of how painful it would be. It was even colder than the last time she had done it. And it was much darker. She didn’t like walking in the dark around here. 

“You’re joking.” He replied as he stared at her in disbelief, his brown eyes wide as he quickly shook his head. She paused, not wanting to argue about this. 

“No,” she gulped, “I mean it’s fine.” She squeaked out as she glanced at how the snowflakes only seemed to get larger and fatter. She might freeze to death on the way home, but at least she tried.

“It’s snowing outside.” He pointed out as he gestured towards the parking lot that was covered in a thick layer of snow, making her lips part as she tried to think of a way to brush his statement off. Maybe she could sleep in the back office. 

“I’ll be okay.” She said once again, forcing a smile onto her lips. She felt like things could be worse. She was sure Susan just lost track of time. Maybe if she called again, she’d answer. Or Max would. 

“I can give you a ride home.” He told her in determination as he moved his hands to his hips, looking genuine. He spoke like he wasn’t going to give her another option. 

“It’s out of your way.” She told him seriously. It was way out of his way, on the opposite side of town actually. She would feel bad. And in all honesty, she was a little embarrassed of her current address. She wasn’t sure what he would think about the trailer park when he came from somewhere so nice. 

“Or you could come over,” he suggested slowly, his hands relaxing on his sides, “Just to like, hang or whatever.” He stated slowly, his expression relaxing as his gaze remained locked on hers. She shifted on her feet. 

“Oh.” She said softly, her tongue feeling heavy in her mouth as her face burned. She blinked as she began to tug on her hair, trying to keep from concentrating on the way her heart was beating inside of her chest. Had he really just asked her to come over?

“I have alcohol and weed,” he continued on, suddenly looking a little nervous, “And my parents aren’t back yet. It gets a little lonely.” He told her at last, making her eyebrows raise at the way he revealed his answer. She glanced back outside as she thought about it, deciding it was better than walking in the snow. And having to deal with Susan and her drinking problem.

And she’d finally be able to really hang out with him. On her own. It was terrifying yet exciting at the same time. She had no idea what she was going to say, how she was going to act. But she might not ever get a chance to do it again. 

“Okay,” she replied at last, “Sure, but I don’t want to intrude.” She added softly as she pressed her fingers together this time, feeling like she would only be bothering him. 

“You’re not,” he reassured her quickly, “And there’s a spare room. I could take you back tomorrow.” He pressed his lips together as he shifted the scarf over his shoulders again, his expression relaxed and kind. 

“I have nothing to wear.” She added again, not sure if she really wanted to sleep in her current outfit. She bit her bottom lip, watching as joy grew on his features. She felt her nerves spark to life again, wondering if she really deserved for him to look at her in that manner. 

“I could loan you something.” He shrugged his shoulders as he continued to watch her, his body relaxed and calm. She nodded her head once again, feeling like she was just trying to find excuses at his point. 

“Okay.” She told him as she gathered her things, fairly certain that he could tell just how shy she had become. She held onto her gifts tightly, waiting as he grabbed his keys. 

“Are you ready then?” he asked as he tilted his head, watching as she slowly nodded her head in agreement. There was nothing else she needed here, “You wanna share my extra warm scarf?” He asked as a playful smile formed on her lips, making her blush all over again. 

“You don’t have to wear it.” She told him seriously as they walked towards the door, still debating if she had gotten him the wrong thing. He stopped, turning to look back at her. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked seriously, “I love it.” He expressed deeply, a grateful expression on his features as he held the door open for her. She held her breath as she walked out into the blistering cold, her exposed skin burning as the wind swept into her. 

She sat out with him, scarf linked around both of their necks as he worked on getting the jammed door to shut. To get the door to lock, he had to wiggle it back and forth, then twist the key in just the right way. It was frustrating. 

“And we’re good,” he said after he rattled the door harshly, just to ensure that it was really locked, “It’ll take just a minute for the car to warm up.” He apologized as he quickly walked forward, nearly choking her out and knocking them both over in the process. He held his hands up quickly, an apologetic look on his features as he steadied her.

“It’s okay,” she said softly, smiling as she untangled herself from the scarf and fixed it over his neck instead, “Better than walking home in the cold.” She told him truthfully, feeling her bones rattling in her body from how cold it truly was. She really wouldn’t have made it back. 

“Right,” he nodded as he drifted his eyes across his features, “You’re probably not used to the snow.” He held his hands in his pockets as his eyes trailed down to her lips, his expression soft as she raised her eyebrows slightly. 

“I hate the cold.” She admitted, fighting back a grin at the way he started to move again. Like he realized that he had been staring. She followed him to his car, taking cautious steps to keep from slipping on the layer of ice underneath the snow. 

He held the door open for her, letting her get in first before he ran behind the car and reached the driver’s seat. She looked around at his neat car, breathing in the smell of citrus that lingered about. It was nice, different but in a good way. 

“Shit, it’s freezing,” he huffed as he started the car, quickly turning on the heat as the music roared to life. She blinked in surprise, not used to him listening to such loud and heavy music, “Sorry.” He mumbled as he quickly turned it down. She thought about asking him when his taste in music had changed, but she decided not to do it right now. 

“It’s alright,” she paused as she moved her hand forward, unable to stop herself, “You smoke?” She asked in surprise, a familiar feeling racing through her as she inspected the Marlboro Reds. They were heavy, like they had been untouched. 

“Uh,” he stalled for a moment, “Off and on.” He shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal. She nodded as she set them down, trying to recall if she had ever caught him smoking. She supposed that most people did; it was no big deal. Just surprising. 

“This brand?” She was unable to let it go for a moment, like it was some bitter reminder. She shook her head before she set them back down. 

“Sometimes,” he mumbled as his eyes drifted back towards her, “They’re really strong, though.” He admitted a moment later, bringing a smile to her lips. They really were strong, too intense for her to ever handle. 

“And stinky.” She said with a little giggle as she thought of how extreme the smell was. She often felt like she’d cough a lung up just by smelling it. 

“Really stinky.” He agreed with a little laugh as he laid his head back against the seat. She settled in the same, watching the gentle way the snowflakes fell onto the front of the car. She thought it was odd that she could still see the stars, however, but they were hard to hide away. 

They settled into silence as the car continued to warm, the heat finally beginning to blaze to life as she rubbed her fingers together. Steve was better at driving in this type of weather, used to it in a way that she would never be accustomed to. 

“You know, there was a while back that I mentioned my friend liking you? So I couldn’t break the friend code?” He spoke up suddenly, taking her by surprise as she looked away from where the trees were turning white. She thought about it for a moment as she nodded her head, trying not to recall how desperate she had been back then. 

“Uh,” she flushed as she thought about it, “Yeah, I remember.” She added as she moved her cold hands underneath her thighs, trying to keep them warm. She turned towards him as he remained silent. He had one hand on the wheel, the other placed near the top of his head as he stuck his tongue out in concentration. 

“Well, that friend is dating someone.” He said slowly as he stuck his tongue back in his mouth, keeping his gaze pointed straight ahead. She felt her eyes slightly narrowing, trying to decide where he was going with this. 

“I’m glad for them.” She said kindly, meaning it too. She knew who he was speaking about, but she wouldn’t put Robin on the spot like that. 

“So there’s not any code anymore,” he continued on, his voice lowering, “So maybe you'd want to go out sometime?” His tone was almost in a whisper by the time he finished speaking, his expression hopeful as he faced her again. She stared, momentarily taken aback. 

“On a date?” She questioned, searching for clarification as her mouth suddenly felt dry. Everything was warm, her face and her insides. This wasn’t the way she pictured him asking her out, but she would take it. 

“We could go to dinner or a movie, or even hang out here. Or at work.” He suggested as he used his one hand to gesture, shrugging his shoulders like it was no big deal. Meanwhile, she was fighting the urge to keep from kicking her feet and squealing. 

“We do work together. Like all the time.” She reminded him lightly, sure that he could hear the excitement in her tone. She cleared her throat, trying to remind herself to stay calm. To be cool. 

“Yeah.” He replied with a smile on his lips, his eyebrows raising as he nodded his head at her answer. She pressed her lips together, moving into her next question. 

“Is that a good idea?” She asked him seriously, sure that things never went well when you got with a coworker. At least that’s what Addi had said. But what did she really know?

“We could find out,” he replied with a grin, “Come on, I’m a total gentleman.” He promised as he moved his hand over his chest, a sincere look in his eyes. She pressed a little smile to her lips, thinking that he was sincere. 

“Does this count as a date?” She asked him softly, feeling like it sort of counted. Then again, she hadn’t been on many dates. But she didn’t think there was a certain rule over what a date consisted of. 

“Absolutely,” he grinned as he pulled into a driveway, “As long as you’re alright with it.” He added a little softer, his gaze tender. Her heart hammered in her chest, fully aware of the way he was looking at her. It was different from the way Billy had watched her. 

“I am,” she replied softly, “I’m more than fine with it.” She told him truthfully, trying to ignore the guilt that was brewing inside of her. She had nothing to feel bad for. She was single. She was allowed to move on, with whomever she wanted. 

She carried her present into the house, glancing around in awe at how pretty the inside was. She knew the Harrington’s had money, but it was far more grand than she could’ve imagined. Perhaps the biggest house that she had ever set foot in.

The living room was vast, the fireplaces unlit but the room was still warm. Gold garland covered the room, neatly decorated in a specific and meaningful way. She could tell from the fresh smell and the way the branches were shaped that the tree was real. There were no lights on it, rather it was covered with the same golden garland. She took a step closer to it, admiring the various ornaments that decorated the limbs. 

“My mom really liked gold this year,” Steve spoke up from behind her, somewhere in the kitchen as she continued to scan the items on the tree, “She picks something new every year.” He continued to explain as she knelt down, admiring the foam gold star that was hanging from the tree limb. She flicked it around, smiling at the picture that rested there.

Steve couldn’t be any older than eight, his hair messy and over his forehead as he smiled brightly. It must’ve been a school project, something that he had worked on years ago. It was sweet. 

“So I’ve got uh,” he paused for a moment as he walked back into the room, “Some whiskey or we could smoke a little?” He suggested instead, his eyebrows cocked as she turned to face him. She thought about it for a moment, but decided that alcohol would be too dangerous for her. Anymore, she wasn’t very pleasant when she drank. 

“Smoking sounds like fun.” She nodded her head as she followed him, slowly stripping her layers off. She felt awkward standing in the large room, surprised with how large everything was. She wasn’t used to being in a place so grand. 

“It’s in my room,” he gestured back towards the stairs, chewing on his bottom lip, “It’s kinda messy.” He apologized as he met her eyes, but she simply shook her head. It couldn’t be any messier than the trailer was right now. 

“I don’t mind,” she told him truthfully, holding onto the railing as she followed him upstairs, “Your house is huge. It’s very pretty.” She complimented, surprised by how quiet it was. She supposed that was to be expected, however, considering that there were no nearby neighbors. He didn’t have to worry about Eddie Munson playing his guitar annoying loud at three in the morning. 

“That’s all thanks to my mom,” he paused as he glanced back towards her, “I guess you know her.” He crinkled his eyebrows together as she thought about it, reminding herself that she did know his mom. 

“Oh yeah,” she nodded her head as she stepped into the room behind him, “She saw me naked.” It slid off of her tongue before she could stop herself, her cheeks flushing as she winced.

“Kinda her job,” he said with a chuckle as he walked towards his bedside table, pulling out a baggy as she inspected the odd wallpaper designs, “Do you want to take a hit first?” He questioned as he slid onto the floor, stretching his long arms out in front of him. 

“You can.” She stated as she joined him on the floor. She crossed her ankles as she sat towards him, her knees brushing against his thigh. 

“You know how to smoke it?” He questioned her as he held the joint between his lips, looking at her curiously before he lit it. It had been a long time since she’d done it, but she sort of knew what she was doing. 

“Yeah,” she said with a little laugh, “I’ve done it before. Oh, but just once. I don’t smoke. Not really. My mom would freak out and I don’t like the taste.” She rambled on quickly, hoping that she wasn’t giving him the wrong idea. 

“It’s fine,” he smiled as he watched her, “You don’t have to explain anything to me.” He told her kindly as he took a deep inhale, dropping his head back before he blew the smoke out from between his lips. 

She held her fingers out as he passed it to her, trying to ignore the feeling of their fingers brushing together. She was suddenly nervous, her hand trembling as she brought the joint up to her lips. She tried not to think about how it had just been in her mouth, trying not to focus on if she might taste him on it.

She pressed it between her lips, praying that he couldn’t read just how nervous she was. She breathed in deeply, taking a larger hit than she would’ve preferred as she let the smoke settle in her lungs. She did her best to hold it for a second or two, but it smacked into her so roughly that she ended up coughing over it. 

“You alright?” He asked worriedly as he brought his palm against her back, lightly patting her skin to help her hack up the smoke that was still clawing its way out of her chest. Her eyes burned, watering as she tried to find the strength to speak. 

“Sorry,” she covered her mouth for a moment, her chest still rattling as she tried to hack up the smoke that was clinging to the bottom of her lungs, “That was a lot.” She told him weakly, a tear falling down her cheek as she passed the joint back towards him. 

“You did good, Mayfield,” he teased, the sound of her last name rolling off of his tongue nearly made her lungs swell once again, “Try it again.” He encouraged as she rubbed at her chest with her free hand. She breathed in fresh air before she did as he said, taking a smaller hit this time. So much for trying to impress him. 

They passed the joint back and forth until she felt a relaxing sensation settling over her. She felt like she was floating in the clouds, her mind calm and her body light. She crawled about the room, determined to inspect what she could. 

“You like Lord of the Rings?” She asked as she pulled the book towards her, excitement tingling in her stomach as she blinked a few times to read the title. Her eyes felt heavy, squinted as she realized she was wearing a goofy smile. 

Steve was standing for whatever reason, until she noted that he had put her things on his desk. He turned in surprise, eyebrows raising on his forehead as he looked at the book between her fingertips. 

“Oh, yeah,” he nodded his head quickly, hands resting on his hips, “It’s uh, it’s great.” He responded as he stuck his tongue out, eyebrows furrowing together like he was concentrating. Or remembering something. 

“Sam is my favorite character,” she told him gently, pressing her lips together at the way his eyes widened, like he was searching for something to say, “That’s my dads name.” She added softly as she put the book back, wrapping her fingers around one of the other drawer handles. 

“Your dad?” he questioned, features relaxing as his eyes warmed with interest, “Is your dad in San Diego?” He asked as he quickly joined her again, pressing his fingers against the drawer she nearly slid open. Like he was hiding something. She narrowed her eyes as she watched him, trying to determine if there was something secretive in there. She wanted to know.

“Mhm,” she nodded as she pressed her fingertips together, “He’s an alcoholic.” She stated, too tired to fight with his large hands. She moved around again, missing the expression on his features, before her legs felt like jello. Too much work, effort. She was limp. 

She giggled as she laid down on the floor, her hands resting above her head as she stared up at the ceiling. She wished she had her little stars that she could stick onto it, feeling like it would be very interesting to look at right about now. 

“What are you laughing about?” He asked as he joined her, resting on his side as he laid his cheek in his palm. She watched him, trying not to stare at the way his shirt pulled up in the process. She could make out about an inch of skin, just enough to show the trail of hair that dipped into his pants. 

“I can’t believe I’m in your house.” She said as she slowly brought her eyes up towards him again, holding her hands together as another smile formed on her lips. She was sure that she had just gotten caught staring, but she couldn’t worry about it at the moment. 

“Why?” He furrowed his eyebrows as his expression slowly relaxed, the corners of his lips curling into a smile. Like the weed had finally hit him. 

“I thought you hated me.” She told him seriously, softly. She was exposing a secret, one that she was sure he didn’t know. But then again, maybe he had hated her at one point. 

“Hated you?” he asked, tilting his head in disbelief, “I never hated you. I told you the whole thing with Rob-, I mean my friend, I couldn’t just intervene.” He said with a serious nod of his head, a small laugh slipping from his lips. 

“Alright.” She narrowed her eyes playfully before she turned back towards the ceiling, wondering if she could make out any designs from that far up. She held her hands out in front of her, stretching her fingers out as she did so. 

“I didn’t think you were actually into me anyway,” he said, making her crinkle her eyebrows together as she looked at him in disbelief, “Okay, maybe you made it a little obvious.” He admitted as he laughed, making her giggle all over again. 

“I’ll be embarrassed about that tomorrow.” She said as she roughly dropped her hands to her sides, wincing at the hard way she hit the floor. She knew she had been obvious about it. Damn it. 

“You shouldn’t be,” he huffed as he turned her chin in his direction, “I also liked you.” His tone was softer, huskier as he admitted it to her. She giggled again, surprised at how close they were to one another. 

“But you didn’t do dumb things like I did.” She told him honestly, thinking about how she would desperately search for him no matter where she went. Even if it was grocery shopping with Susan. She sought him out. It was embarrassing. 

“What did you do?” He asked suddenly, tilting his head as his eyes lingered on her lips again. He had a similar goofy smile on his lips, only she was sure that he wore it a lot better than she did. 

“Nothing,” she said quickly, thinking of her stupid journal. Good riddance to it. Steve would never know about it, “You’re being tricky.” She pushed at his shoulder gently, her fingers remaining as he moved back against her. 

“Am I?” He teased her, his hand falling to the side of her face. She was aware of how hard her heart was beating against her bones as he slowly tucked her hair behind her ear. She gulped hard, recalling the similar motions. He rubbed his fingers across her cheek next, then against her chin. 

“Are you a virgin?” She asked him suddenly, unsure of why that slipped off of her tongue. It made her laugh all over again. It was a ridiculous question, but she was curious. 

“Am I a-,” he paused as he looked at her, his expression turning to disbelief before he started to laugh, “Did you really ask me that?” He laughed, the gap between their faces suddenly fading. 

“I did,” she confirmed with a nod of her head, feeling a grin form on her lips, “I know you’re not.” She said at last, tracing her finger across the design on his sweater. 

“And how do you know that?” His question surprised her, because it wasn’t uncommon knowledge at all. She had heard a lot of things when she first moved here. 

“Lots of girls talk,” she explained, “And I heard about how you took Nancy’s virginity.” She teased as she thought about it, thinking about how badly she had wanted him to take hers. She was silly back then. 

“Tommy?” He grumbled as he asked, sighing like he already knew. She bit her lip, wondering if she should give the answer away. 

“He has a big mouth,” she giggled as she held her hands to her chest, “I like him though. He’s sweet.” She admitted as she nodded her head roughly. Even though Tommy was gone now, and he could be a dick. 

“Only because he wants to get into your pants.” He grumbled as he fell down next to her, resting his arms behind his head. His shirt lifted higher this time, all the way up to his belly button. She stared greedily, wondering if he liked when people kissed that exposed area of his skin. 

“What was your favorite thing to do during sex?” She interrogated him as she rolled onto her side this time, doing everything she could to keep from reaching out and touching him. She suddenly felt warm, like there was energy buzzing inside of her. 

“What’s with all the sex questions?” He turned towards her, a lazy look resting across his features as his lips curled into an even deeper grin. He thought she was teasing him, but she really wasn’t. But she was still with it enough to know that she shouldn’t admit to being horny right now. 

“I haven’t had sex in a long time,” she admitted, “Well-,” She paused as she counted on her fingers, then restarted once she lost track, “Almost five months. Which is a long time, but not the biggest stretch I’ve ever had, you know?” She spoke out loud, surprising herself. Maybe he didn’t want to know that. 

“You’re odd.” He said at last, laughing as he looked at her. It took her a moment to realize that he was being funny too. It would not be fun to get kicked out of his house in this condition. 

“I think I miss sex,” she whispered underneath her breath, watching the way his hazy eyes widened, “But like a specific kind of sex, you know? Were you like that?” She asked him, feeling like he could relate to a heartbreak or two. There had been Nancy and then there was Gina. Poor guy faced it back to back. 

“I’m still in a rut,” he muttered as he exhaled deeply, wrinkling his nose up, “But yeah, I guess I know what you mean.” He was staring at the wall this time, looking to be deep in through. 

She continued to let her eyes drop back to his exposed stretch of skin, imagining herself crawling over to him. She thought about placing her lips just above his jeans, then kissing up towards his belly button. She wondered if it was wrong that she wanted to taste him, just to flick her tongue out and tease him a little bit. 

“What kind of sex do you miss?” He asked curiously, drawing her out of her dirty thoughts. She could vaguely feel the warmth dipping down between her legs, making her clit throb in pleasure. There was a lot of sex that she missed. All of it. 

“Blowjobs,” she answered quickly, surprising herself, “I don’t know why I just said that.” She said with wide eyes, covering her mouth as she muffled her laughter. He sat up, sadly making his shirt slid back down in the process. 

“You haven’t been with anyone else, right?” He asked her curiously, his eyes slightly reddened. She looked at how messy his hair was, like he had been messing with it. 

“Is that a problem?” she asked seriously, feeling a little worried, “No, I haven’t been with anyone else. But I think I know what I’m doing.” She replied as confidently as she could. At least, she thought she was doing a good job. 

“Are you bragging?” He questioned her, looking whimsical. But maybe he was admiring her once again. She couldn’t really tell. Not in this state. 

“No,” she replied quickly, a goofy smile forming on her lips, “I’m just saying that I’m somewhat experienced. I think.” She added at last, giggling as she brought her hands over her face.

“Are you going to ask me what I miss?” He hummed, suddenly leaning over her as he pulled her hands away from her face. She stared up at his big brown eyes, enjoying the shape of them. There was something about them that made her feel warm, wanted. She kept herself near him, not wanting him to move his fingers away from her wrists. 

“Oh, yes,” she nodded her head urgently, “What do you miss about sex, Steve Harrington?” She asked as she bit down on her bottom lip, stretching her legs out as she shifted softly. She wondered if he knew just how much this was effecting her. 

“I liked eating pussy,” he said as he rolled on his back, sighing deeply, “I mean I like it. I just haven’t been able to do it in a while.” His expression was almost sinister, showing just how much he craved it. 

“Why?” she wondered out loud, “You’ve had dates.” She pointed out as she moved her fingers down towards his, lacing them gently. She expected him to pull away, only to be surprised as he held onto her tighter. 

“Easy, quick sex,” he confirmed with a nod of his head, “Nothing fun.” He crinkled his nose up, taking her by surprise. She didn’t hear many guys say that. 

Their eyes locked so intensely that she wondered if he knew what she was thinking, or at least could read it by her expression. Her heart was beating roughly, shaking against her organs and bones. She wondered if he looked close enough that he could see the outline. She felt exposed, but noted that part of him was also laid open for her to discuss.

“You’re really beautiful, Kimberly Mayfield.” His tone was soft, barely louder than a whisper as his eyes drifted across her features. His expression was dreamy, eyes filled with a tender look as his free hand moved to her cheek again. 

“Rose.” She whispered back, slightly stunned by the amorous gaze that remained in his brown eyes. He looked far more fond than she was prepared for. 

“What?” He asked as a little chuckle left his lips, his head moving back and forth in confusion. She grinned as she moved her hand to his hip. She could feel the electricity brewing underneath her fingertips, driving her wild. 

“My full name is Kimberly Rose Mayfield.” She corrected as she tilted her head up towards him, lightly bumping her tiny nose against his strong one. She lingered there for a moment, breathing it all in. 

“Oh, my bad,” he apologized with a laugh, holding his hand over his chest, “Then you’re very beautiful, Kimberly Rose Mayfield.” He stated correctly this time, something sentimental hiding underneath his expression. 

“Thank you,” she laughed hysterically for a moment, her lungs burning and insides twisting, “I appreciate it.” She told him softly as she sat up closer, her lips parting as his eyes fell to her mouth again. 

He leaned forward slowly, his eyes hazy and slightly squinted as his sweet breath fanned over her face. She felt her heart stalling in her chest, unmoving as his mouth fell against hers. She felt her eyes fluttering shut, a warmth spreading from where their mouths met.

He kissed her softly, gently, like he was somehow nervous. Which didn’t make sense, because how could he be timid around someone like her? His large hand fell against her jawline, his thumb pressing against her cheek as he dragged his lips slowly across hers.

It took another second for her mind and her body to connect, to really feel the rush of his skin against her own as she moved closer. She kissed him just as hesitantly, something new and exciting. It was sensual, more subtle than what she was used to. 

She sat up on her elbows as her body flushed as he slid between her legs, his body soft and lanky as she dragged her lips harder against his. He fell against her, his body flush against hers as she laced her fingers through his hair. Soft groans filled the air, sparking excitement through her body as she felt herself growing wet against her panties. Hot. She was suddenly too hot.

Steve’s nose brushed against hers as he pulled away slowly, exhaling roughly as he fought to catch his breath. But she was already too far gone, desperate for the feeling of him on her once again. She was greedy, she wanted more. One taste wasn’t enough for her.

Her lips fell against the corner of his mouth, kissing softly as little pants fell from his swollen lips. She flicked her tongue out as she licked away the leftover saliva, unsure if it was hers or his. It didn’t really matter. He tasted sweet, like grapes and a hint of chocolate from the candy bar he had shared with her. 

She was on top of him this time, straddling his lap as her hands fell to his jaw. She ran her palms across his smooth skin as she continued to drag her tongue across the curve of his mouth. She licked away his moans, spurred by the feeling of her clit throbbing against her panties. 

He breathed in deeply, exhaling just as roughly as he placed his palm against hers. She stared for a moment, tilting her head as she compared the way his fingers were far longer than hers. There was something sensual in the way he held onto her, how he looked at her. She craved more of it. 

“Did you try them on?” He asked suddenly, licking his bottom lip as he squeezed their fingers together softly. She moved forward, fighting every urge in her to keep from grinding her hips down against him. 

“What?” She questioned after she thought about it for a minute, trying to decide what he was talking about. He laughed softly, looking like he was still out of breath. 

“The earrings.” He clarified as he continued to look at her lips, like he was resisting the urge to kiss her again. She wondered if she had pushed him too far based on how he had changed the topic. 

“Oh,” she paused as she brought her eyes back towards his, her chest rising and falling roughly, “No, not yet. Do you want me to?” She asked, more than willing to do whatever he wanted.

“You don’t have to.” He shook his head softly, but she was already standing. His fingers fell from her hands, slowly tracing the curve of her long legs instead. 

“Hold on,” she told him softly, giggling as she pulled her box free. She looked around the room before she decided otherwise, “I’ll be right back.” She told him as she held one finger up, racing out of the room before he could say otherwise. 

She searched for a moment before she found the bathroom; setting up the area for herself. She pushed her hair out of her face, confirming that her makeup looked alright before she slid her earrings in. Then she went to work.

It took a whole thirty seconds for her to convince herself that stripping down was worth the risk of Steve shooing her out of his room. He seemed interested in her thus far, she was sure that he would like this. At least she hoped that he would.

“Close your eyes,” she spoke up quickly as she stood outside the door, thinking about how mortified she’d be if his parents caught her, “Are they closed?” She asked, listening to the little hum in confirmation.

She slowly moved into the room, then shut the door behind her as she examined the way he was sitting on the edge of his bed. His large palms were over his shut eyes, his light smile exposed as she moved in front of him.

She decided that settling on her knees was best, but truly had no idea if that looked sexy or not. She just went with it, hoping for the best as she moved her hands onto her palms. She breathed in deeply, knowing she needed to speak before she made herself too nervous.

“You can open your eyes.” She told him gently, her nerves hidden away from the weed in her system as he removed his hands quickly. He still had a giddy expression on his features until he took her in, all of that sliding away as he inspected her.

His pink lips spread as an awestruck expression filled his face, his eyes falling towards her perky tits, and staying there for some time. She bit her bottom lip, trying not to fuss with her hair as his eyes continued to linger over her body. 

“What are you doing?” His voice came out like a squeak, higher pitched and whiny as she moved her fingers to loosen his belt. His eyes darkened, filling with lust as he continued to stare after her movements. 

“I want to make you feel good,” she hummed softly, “Is that alright with you?” She tilted her head as she watched him, confirming the way he nodded his head slowly before she began to tug on his jeans. She needed them off. Now. 

“Okay,” he breathed out, cheeks burning pink as he shifted his hips up so she could pull his pants down easily. She moved her fingers across his large bulge, excitement pooling in her stomach as she greedily eyed him, “You really don’t have to-,” 

His words cut off as she stuck her tongue out, dragging the flat part across his concealed hard on. He yelped at the sensation, his head dropping back as she continued to trace her tongue across his briefs. 

She moaned as she looped her fingers around the band of his briefs and tugged them down his hairy thighs to expose his hardened cock. She stared, jaw dropping as his dick sprang free. He was long, much bigger than what she was used to. He wasn’t quite as thick, but she wasn’t worried about that. Her fingers fit around his girth perfectly. 

It was odd to think that a dick was pretty, but his really was. He was slightly paler, his tip a soft pink and leaking against his skin. His balls were round, heavy and resting against a thick tuft of dark hair. She followed the thick base of his cock, observing as it slowly evened out, his dick curving towards the right. 

“S’pretty,” she mumbled out, biting down on her bottom lip as she pressed her fingers slowly around his girth. He whimpered at the feeling, his hips thrusting forward as a gleeful sound left her lips, “Stevie, you have a really nice cock.”

“Thanks,” he squeaked out, staring at her as she gave his cock a little stroke. She chewed on her inner cheek as she looked at the way his precum collected at his tip, leaking over onto her fingers, “S’nice.”

She stuck her tongue out against his pink tip, licking away his slick and savoring it in her mouth. She moaned at the taste, so bitter and musky. So him. She felt a little feral, needy as she slid her lips over his leaking tip. Lust boiled inside of her as she sucked softly, flicking her tongue out against his warm skin gently. 

“Oh,” he groaned as he dropped his head once again, his fingers gripping his blankets tightly as her lips stretched along his smooth skin. She kept her eyes focused on the way his shut, how he knitted his eyebrows together in bliss, “That’s-, that’s really nice.” He moaned, lips parting in bliss. 

It took everything in her to keep from closing her eyes and savoring the taste of his cock in her mouth. She was sure that she could sit there for hours, her mouth stuffed full as she drooled around him. It was heavenly.

And his eyes remained closed. She couldn’t have that. She needed him to look at her, to appreciate her. She pulled away. 

“Eyes on me,” she giggled softly as she squeezed his chin, forcing his eyes down towards her. He looked at her surprised, cheeks slightly flushed as he nodded his head, “And take your shirt off.” She demanded, surprised at her own bossy tone. Not quite commanding, but she did sound bratty. 

He nodded his head as he watched her, his movements quick as he struggled to get the sweater off of his head. She grinned as she watched, enjoying the way his soft muscles moved. He was more lanky, softer and covered in dark hair. But she liked it all the same.

The hair from his chest reached clear down to his dick, a nice trail that she let her fingertips follow. She watched as goosebumps formed on his mole covered skin, many places for her to explore later. 

She kissed up his abdomen, leaving a trail of saliva behind as she reached his belly button. She moaned, unable to help herself as she kissed along the cute little area. A smile leaving her lips before she stuck her tongue out against the soft hole, taking a soft lick of him. A little gasp left his lips as he moved his hips upward, his spit soaked dick brushing against her chin. She giggled at the sensation. 

“Do you want me to suck your cock?” She questioned him as she laced her fingers across his girth again, giving him a little squeeze. He groaned at the sensation, hips jerking at the way her free hand gripped his balls. 

“You have a dirty mouth,” he said as his chest rose and fell harshly, his cheeks pink from how out of breath he was, “Really dirty.” His lips looked swollen, like he had been biting on them too much. 

“Do you mean slutty?” She giggled as she traced her nails through the hair near his balls, “You can call me a slut. Or a whore. I don’t mind.” She told him honestly, wiggling a little closer to him. She liked being called all of those things. 

“I-,” he paused as he stared at her, his eyes wide as he continued to stare at her in admiration, “You’re something else.” He spoke in disbelief, fascination swirling underneath his dark eyes as she gave his long cock another slow stroke. 

She felt confident at the sounds that left his lips, how breathless and whiny he became as she pressed her lips up against his tip again. She gave him a little kiss, trying to fight the urge to smile before she slid his dick inside of her mouth. 

His eyes became hooded as he stared at her, his pretty lips parting as she began to slowly bob her mouth up and down the curve of his cock. She pressed her tongue out slowly, following the strong vein as she moved her hands down to his balls. She squeezed them softly, earning a louder groan from him. 

The sounds of pleasure that rolled off of his tongue were whiny, higher pitched and breathless as she rolled her tongue around his cock. She felt greedy as she slipped more and more of him into her mouth, craving the validation that he gave her as his eyes locked onto hers tenderly. 

“S’beautiful,” he groaned as he pushed her hair out of her face, gasping at the way she continued to lock eyes with him. She furrowed her eyebrows together as his cock hit the back of her throat, far quicker than what she was used to, “God. You feel so good.” 

She continued to squeeze at his balls, massaging them softly as she worked on taking his cock deeper in her mouth. She let some saliva fall from her lips, coating the part that she couldn’t stuff into her mouth quite yet. But she was determined. 

She gagged as she pushed more of his curved cock into her mouth, her lips stretching around his girth as drool slid over his heavy balls. He whined as he thrust his hips forward, whimpering as his eyes began to flutter shut. Bliss spread over his features as his moans became deeper, louder. 

She drooled around him, saliva falling from the corners of her lips as she buried more of his cock inside of her mouth. She could feel his tip dragging against the back of her throat, making her gag repeatedly as she continued to bob her head up and down the curve of his cock.

The sound of her lips around his cock was messy, filthy as drool continued to fall from her mouth. She could feel it on her boobs, on her knees as it continued to coat his balls. Her eyes watered as she successfully pressed his cock all the way into her mouth, her lungs burning and lips aching at the stretch of it all. She had never had something so deep inside of her throat, making it contract and throb at the same time. 

“Fuck, fuck,” he grunted as he tangled his fingers through her hair, his hips moving furiously to the motions of her mouth, “Sorry, m’sorry. Feels so good. Fuck, sorry. Can’t help it.” He spit out roughly, his tone whiny and desperate as he continued to fuck into her mouth.

She continued to gag around him, forcing her eyes to stay open as she watched the desperation that filled out on his features. His eyes were filled with lust, with awe and amazement as he roughly began to press his hips up against her motions. 

“Fuck!” he snapped his hips forward harshly, his fingers gripping her hair tightly as he buried his dick in her throat. She moaned at the look on his features, at the way his thighs shook as his cock twitched inside of her mouth, “Oh fuck, sorry. M’sorry, so sorry.” He apologized, his hot cum filled her mouth, making her eyes burn from how intense it was. 

She moaned as she pulled away, a mess of spit and cum leaking from her mouth and his cock as she breathed in fresh air. Her lungs screamed at the feeling, desperate for more as her chest rose and fell heavily. 

He stared at her in awe, his lips spread widely as he pressed his hands roughly through his hair. Little whimpers continued to leave his mouth as his cock fell against his skin, still coated in her spit.

She pulled herself up slowly, her legs shaking as she straddled his lap. It took only a little push to knock him onto his back, to earn another groan from him as his dick slid between his abdomen and her thigh. 

His lips were puffy and pink, pretty. She dragged her fingertips across them slowly, spreading them just enough to peek at his teeth. They were shiny and bright, nice. She didn’t think as she pressed her lips together, slowly spitting the mixture of cum and saliva into his mouth. 

He stared at her wide-eyed, a similar look on his features as a loud moan left his lips. He swallowed it harshly, his hands falling to her hips as he began to rock up against her. He hissed at the sensation, desperation laced on his features.

“I need you so badly.” He whined as he rutted up against her pathetically, his features knitted in pleasure. She giggled at the way pleasure spread through her body again. Her cunt was soaked, aching and desperate to feel him too. But she waited. She liked being in control for once.

“What do you need?” she teased as she pressed her fingers against his chin, “Use your words.” She whispered softly, enjoying the way he melted in her hands. He rutted his cock up against her again, whimpering. 

“Wanna taste your pussy,” he exhaled harshly, “Please. Let me taste you. I’ll make you feel good.” He promised as he dug his fingers into her fleshy hips. He nodded his head, trying to encourage her. She really wished she was strong enough to tease him a little longer, but she wanted him just as desperately.

A giggle fell from her lips as he rolled her over, her back resting comfortably against his soft sheets. She grinned as she sat up on her elbows, enjoying the greedy way his eyes drank in the image of her. She stuck her foot out playfully, poking his side gently with the tips of her toes.

Steve slid right in between her legs, nestling comfortably against her thighs as he dipped his face down towards hers again. A soft smile formed on his lips before he pecked her mouth; once and then twice. It made her pulse soar, butterflies rising in her tummy even though it was just a simple touch. He had such a way of making her heart throb. 

Her eyes felt even heavier as she watched his lips slowly trail down the length of her body, his lips soft and smooth as he ran his large hands across her sides. She breathed in deeply as goosebumps formed underneath his touch, her nipples hardening as he flicked his tongue out across the curve of her boobs.

She moaned at the feeling of his lips around her nipple, kissing and sucking softly before he switched to the next one. His groans vibrated across her skin, his breath hot against her skin before he pulled away again.

She felt like she was on fire as he spread her legs further apart, squeezing his shoulders between her thighs before he gripped her hips gently. He had a cocky look in his eyes, his expression full of want as he exhaled warmly across her slick cunt.

She moaned as she felt a heavy sensation settling over her, her mind feeling fuzzy as his lips fell right above her pussy. She inhaled sharply, lungs burning as her clit throbbed in anticipation.

“She’s so wet for me,” he groaned softly as he drifted his fingers lightly through her folds. She lurched forward, desperate to be touched, “Can I taste you?” He questioned as his eyes met hers, her pulse racing harshly against the crook of her neck.

“Yes,” she finally managed to breath out, her eyes locked on the way he rolled his tongue out against his bottom lip; “Please.” She added softer, unsure if she could relay just how needy she really was.

His dark eyes drifted away from hers, his eyelids hiding his lust as he took a deep inhale of her scent. She blushed then, stomach twisting at the groan that fell from his lips. It was deep and carnal, like he’d been waiting for this moment. 

She jolted at the feeling of his broad tongue across her cunt, slow and timid like he was savoring the taste of her. Everything inside of her burned, her thighs twitching at the sensation.

“Steve,” slipped from her lips easily, her mind growing foggy at the way he continued to slide his tongue through her folds, “Oh fuck.” She sighed in relief, body trembling underneath his greedy grip. 

His fingertips dug into her fleshy thighs, gripping her tighter as he buried his head closer to her as he pressed his tongue rougher against her clit. He was delicate, yet intense at the same time as he memorized the way her sensitive bud was shaped.

Deep moans left her lips as he slowly wrapped his lips around her clit, sucking roughly before he flickered his tongue out. She crooned as her fingers fell to his thick hair, tugging on his strands of hair as her hips left the mattress. He groaned from between her legs, his movements sloppy yet calculated. 

“Oh my God,” she whined deeply, her lungs tightening in pleasure while he pressed the tip of his tongue across her wet hole. Her walls trembled as he took broad licks of her cunt, grunting as his fingertips dug deeper into her hips, “Right there. Oh God.” She chanted, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as he greedily lapped at her cunt. 

Her feet dragged against the mattress as the pleasure burned deep inside of her veins, electricity brewing inside of her stomach as his sounds of pleasure vibrated through her body. She gaped as she gripped his hair tighter, rocking her body up against his mouth. 

Her toes curled in bliss as he curled his tongue deeper inside of her pussy, licking and prodding in rhythm to the way she was rocking her hips across his mouth. She gripped his hair harder, twisting the locks between her fingers as loud whines fell from his lips. 

His nose dug against her clit as he curled his tongue deeper inside of her cunt; licking at her sloppy walls. She was leaking around his tongue, against his lips as the muscles inside of her stomach tightened and shook. She whined loudly, her moans bouncing off of the walls as her orgasm suddenly crashed over her.

“Steve, Steve!” Whimpers rolled off of her tongue, her chest rising and falling harshly as her cunt clamped down around his tongue. Her clit ached as he dug his face in deeper, his nose pressing roughly against her sensitive bud as her body vibrated from her orgasm, “Oh fuck.” She crooned, hips rolling off of the bed and against his greedy mouth.

He continued to lap at her, moaning as he licked away her cum. His eyes were heavy and dark as he looked back up at her, a look of desperation on his features as remnants of her cum stained his face. It was filthy, but she liked it. A lot.

“So beautiful,” He groaned as he pressed a fingertip against her slick hole, lips parting at the same time a gasp left her tongue, “She’s so needy for me. Taking me so well.” He rambled as he slid his finger inside of her slowly, making her gape at the sensation.

His digits were long and slender, instantly pressing up against her bundle of nerves with one slight curl. Whimpers fell easily from her lips as he pumped his finger in and out of her sloppy hole, 

She tugged him forward by his hair, earning a loud groan from him before she flicked her tongue out against his swollen lips. She messily lapped at his lips, devouring the taste of herself. His breath was hot against her face as he pulled away, brown eyes wide with lust.

She chewed on her bottom lip as she kept their eyes linked, rolling her hips forward slowly as soft whines fell from her lips. His finger felt glorious inside of her, but she enjoyed the reaction she was gaining from him too much to focus on her own pleasure.

She wrapped her fingers around his wrist lazily, giving his hand a little squeeze before she slowly pulled him away from her. He watched with heavy eyes as she placed his finger in her mouth, moaning as she wrapped her lips around his long digit. She couldn’t help the way she moaned and drooled around him, the fire inside of her was burning too harshly. 

“Jesus Christ,” he moaned as she continued to swirl her tongue between his fingers, greedily licking away the taste of her on his flesh, “what are you doing to me?” He shook his head as he looked at her in disbelief, parting her lips just enough that he could get a good look at her teeth and gums. Then at her tongue. 

“I want you,” she whispered underneath her breath, her chest rising and falling harshly, “Please. I want to feel your cock inside of me.” She mumbled as he pulled his hand away, drool sliding onto her chin and neck. 

“Jesus.” He spit out harshly, shaking his head as lust took over his features again. He looked just as depraved as she felt, like he would bite her if she asked. She wanted that. She wanted everything that he had to offer. 

“I’ll be good,” she continued on, purring as she ran her nails through his chest hair, “Real good. I promise. Let me make you feel good again.” She pleaded with him, picturing him spread out underneath her as she bounced on his cock. She thought he’d like that a lot. 

“I want to make you feel good,” he offered up inside, pressing his large hands against her shoulders as he shoved her back. She pouted as her head hit the pillows, but didn’t whine for too long as he spread her legs, “God, you’re so beautiful.” He praised loud enough for her to hear, his words sincere as he wrapped his fingers around his cock. He moved away for a second, heading towards his bedside table. 

“I’m on the pill,” she spoke up quickly, determined to feel all of him, “It’s okay. I promise.” She nodded her head as she pressed her hands flat against his chest, grinning as she felt his heart beating underneath her touch. 

“You-,” he repeated the word slowly, a thoughtful look behind his eyes as a flush settled on his cheeks, “You don’t want me to wear a condom?” He asked her slowly, as lust and shock mixed on his pretty features. She giggled as she leaned forward, dragging her tongue across the curve of his ear.

“I wanna feel your cock inside of me,” she moaned softly as her hands fell to his back, her nails digging into his skin, “I want you to cum inside of me. Please.” She whimpered as she spoke, her teeth grazing against his earlobe before she bit down.

He groaned, body pulsing against hers as he slowly moved away once again. She was unable to fully read the lust in his eyes as he positioned himself between her legs once again, his hairy thighs pressing against the back of hers as he aligned his cock with her pink cunt. 

She pressed her knees up to her chest as he slowly slid his tip inside of her puffy walls, making her head spin in pleasure as she stretched along his long cock. She sighed at the way his dick curved inside of her, pressing into her easily. 

She flickered her eyelashes as she looked upon him, breathing in the look of pleasure on his expression as he continued to slowly press his hips into her tight pussy. His eyebrows furrowed, lips parting as pitiful moans rolled off of his tongue. He was loud and whiny, different from what she was used to. But she liked it all the same, his sounds of bliss made her stomach coil and twist in awe. 

“Fuck,” he whimpered underneath his breath, making her squeal at the way he bottomed out and then quickly snapped his hips forward once again. It slightly hurt, just a bit, but not enough where it wasn’t pleasurable. She had just never been filled this deeply before, so intensely, “You feel so good, baby. So fuckin’ good.” He praised wantonly, sounding more desperate than what she was used to.

Her knees were beginning to ache as he placed his weight on top of her, his hips snapping into her rougher as the curve of his cock pressed deep inside of her. She sighed as each inch slid into her, filling her so deeply that her lungs stretched and ached. Her clit throbbed as he came to a halt, whining as he bottomed out inside of her.

“Stevie,” she whined as she drifted her hands down his spine, fingertips brushing against the constellations on his skin, “So big. Feels nice.” She told him between gasps, a crooked smile forming on her lips as he continually pressed against her bundle of nerves. She wasn’t even sure if he was meaning to do so, but it left her clit aching and cunt twitching around him. 

Her nails dug into his skin as he began to rock his cock in and out of her sloppy walls, the sounds of their bodies meeting instantly filling the room. It was loud and filthy, dirty. But it blended nicely with their sounds of pleasure, which were whiny and ravenous. 

“Your pussy feels so good,” he praised as he knit his eyebrows harder together, his hips continually snapping against hers as he buried his cock as far as he could reach. Her eyes kept rolling into the back of her head, the electrifying pleasure of his cock strumming against her g-spot left her limp, “Taking my cock so well. Fuck, fuck. You look so beautiful, Kim. So fucking pretty.” He spit out between whines, complimenting her as his lips fell against her cheek.

She rolled her hips up to meet his motions, whining at the way the tip of his cock continually pressed against her deepest crevices. She was crying out this time, her nails scratching at his skin as she tilted her head in his direction. She met his lips sloppily, swapping spit and sounds of bliss as her cunt hugged his cock snugly. 

She could feel his balls pressing against her skin, soaked with her slick as he roughly pressed himself into her each time. His thrusts were labored and intense, short and rough before he was burying himself inside of her again. Her lips were dragging against his, not fully kissing him as the pleasure took hold of her. Everything on her was burning, fiery and rough as she clawed at him desperately.

“Steve,” she pleaded from the corner of his mouth, whining as she dug her nails into him harder. She was sure she was cutting skin this time, scratching at him for more than just his skin, “Wanna feel you cum inside of me. Please, please. Fill me up, baby.” She crooned as she cupped his face, watching the way his expression broke. 

Something carnal seemed to snap inside of him as his movements became rougher, deeper in some mystical way. Her moans became pleas, loud cries as he dragged her along the curve of his cock. He was desperate, small rambles leaving swollen lips as he crooned loudly. Whining just as loud as she rolled her hips up against his movements.

His head fell to the crook of her shoulder, sweaty and hot as a lewd sound left his lips. Deep and distressed as he buried himself deep inside of her, his balls snug against her skin as his cock trembled against her wet walls.

“Fuck,” he cursed as he drew out his words, spit falling from his lips and onto her skin as he dug his nails into her flesh. His cock throbbed inside of her as thick ropes of cum painted her walls, filling her deeply and leaking out of her slick hole, “Oh Jesus, Kim.” He whined as he reached down, rubbing at her clit as he continued to softly thrust his hips forward.

He was still whining as she roughly began to grind her hips up against him, desperately clinging to him as her muscles tightened inside of her stomach again. She held onto him tightly, crying out as the pleasure pulsed inside of her. She cried out, toes curling as it all crashed over her.

Her cunt squeezed around his girth as she came to a halt, hips pressed up against his wildly as she leaked around the curve of his cock. She came so harshly her eyes rolled into the back of her head once again, curses flying off of her tongue as she melted deeper into the mattress. 

She breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent of him as her grip on him slowly released. He was still moaning as he held onto him, fucking his hips into her like he was trying to get all of his pleasure released. It made her giggle, made her felt special. 

“Can I be honest with you?” He asked suddenly, still out of breath as he turned his gaze up towards her. She breathed in the image of his blissed expression, his eyes filled with awe. 

“Sure.” She told him softly, taking in a deep breath as her chest pressed up against his. His lips curled into a little smile, his eyes still squinty as he brushed his fingers through her hair. 

“I’ve never read Lord of the Rings.” He admitted, like it was some big secret. It set her off suddenly, making her laugh as she thought about it. It was funny. This was funny, but it was nice. She wanted more of it. 

“I know,” she said with a little giggle, “It doesn’t look like it’s ever been open.” She admitted as she ran her fingers across his skin, smiling as she brushed their noses together. His was strong and long, different than hers. 

“I hate reading.” He groaned softly as he shook his head, his hair falling onto her forehead. She hummed as she registered his words, sure that she could change his mind. With time. 

“We could read it together,” she suggested, watching the way his eyes twinkled, “If you want to.” She offered, suddenly feeling a little shy. She didn’t want him to think that she was lame or anything. She wanted him to be interested in her. 

“I’d love that.” He told her gently, fingertips soft against her skin as he leaned back to admire her. She took it as a promise, hoping that he meant it in that way. 

[otomehoneyybearr]

The Day I Made a Friend

Book of Memories Chapter 1

Keith & Kagari

Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | My First Dorayaki

In the radiant sunlight pouring down, Keith encounters a man in a town adorned with flowers

Keith: “Kagari?”

Kagari: “You’re in town too?”

Keith: “Yeah, I came to buy dorayaki since you’re coming to the castle.”

Keith: "The scheduled meeting won’t start for a while, yet you're already here in Jade."

Kagari: "Yep."

Keith: "...Another troublesome matter?"

Kagari: "Our plans tend to overlap pretty often."

Keith: "...Come to think of it, it WAS you who requested to have the meeting and practice today."

Keith: “Could it be that you originally needed to come to Jade for a troublesome matter,

Keith: “But arranged a meeting with me as camouflage to avoid another scolding...?”

Kagari: “As expected of a bookworm like you. Your imagination is impressive, Keith.”

Kagari: “But more importantly, I see the dorayaki shop.”

Keith: "Huh? Oh, you're right. Thank goodness they haven’t sold out yet."

The two men stop in front of a stall with a sign that says "DORAYAKI."

The sales seem to be going well, with only two left.

Keith: “Looks like there’s only butter and matcha. Which one do you want, Kagari?”

Kagari: “Either one is fine. Which do you prefer?”

Keith: “...They both look delicious.”

Kagari: “So, you’re indecisive.”

Keith: “You sound just like Liam.”

Kagari: “Liam? Oh, your surly butler.”

Keith: “Surly? He's sincere and meticulous in his work. He's an exceptional butler who's too good for someone like me.”

Kagari: “As usual, you're spot on when it comes to assessing others.”

Kagari: “So, have you decided?”

Keith: ….

Keith didn't respond, and as if on cue, the two of them silently extended one hand forward.

Then they lightly shook their hands in place. At the same time, Keith opened his hand while Kagari made a fist.

Keith & Kagari:

"Oh, I won again."

"I lost."

Did they really just play rock, paper, scissors?

Keith: ".........."

Kagari: "So which one? If you don't decide quickly, someone else will buy it."

After glancing at Kagari, Keith pointed to one of the dorayaki.

Keith: "I guess I’ll have butter."

Kagari: "Then I'll take the matcha."

Kagari: "Shopkeeper, two dorayaki, please."

Keith: "Oh, Kagari, let me pay for them."

Kagari: "It's fine, consider it an apology."

Keith: "......So the real reason you came to Jade was because of some trouble, after all."

Kagari: "Relax, I didn't kill anyone. I just taught them a lesson."

Keith: "When you say 'teach a lesson,' it usually means more than a light injury... Is the other person alright?"

Kagari: "Focus on the dorayaki. They're still slightly warm."

Keith: "Wow, Kagari, you're eating it already.”

Keith: "I was planning to save this for after our meeting, but since it's still warm, I guess I'll eat it now. Thanks.

Keith accepted the dorayaki with its faint buttery aroma and took a bite.

Keith: "Mmm, it's so nice and fluffy when it’s warm. Maybe I'll come by for a freshly made one next time."

Kagari: "Thanks for the meal."

Keith: "You already finished!? Did you chew it properly?"

Kagari: "Do you think I'm a child or something? I chewed it and savored it."

Kagari: "The matcha was delicious too. A dorayaki shop with no misses is rare in other countries."

Keith: "Your love for dorayaki hasn't changed since we met."

Kagari: "Back then, I didn't particularly like or dislike it. Actually, I..."

Keith: "?"

Kagari: "--Just thought you'd cry if I refused."

Kagari: "You were such a crybaby."

Keith: "I wouldn't have cried just because you refused."

Kagari: "But it's true that you were a crybaby. You often teared up in front of me."

Keith: "T-That was half crying... Though it is true that I showed you countless embarrassing moments."

Keith: "Looking back on it, my life is full of embarrassing moments... It's painful to even think about."

Kagari: "Think of it as proof that you struggled, and your heart will feel a bit lighter."

Kagari: "Though, I admit, the training back then might have been overkill."

Keith: "You nearly killed me multiple times, Kagari."

●●●●●●●● Flashback●●●●●●●●

Jade and Kogyoku—

Although the countries situations were completely different, they’d maintained friendly relations up to the present.

"Couldn't that demon train this failure?"

It was such words from the King of Jade that led to the meeting of young Keith and Kagari.

Kagari: "Stabbing, beating, strangling, poisoning—Keith, which one do you prefer? Or are you good at any of them?"

Keith: "....Um,"

Keith: "I don't particularly like nor excel at any of them."

Kagari: “….”

Kagari: “….I see…”

Keith: “….Yeah…”

Keith & Kagari: “…”

Keith & Kagari: “……..…”

Keith's face showed visible confusion, while Kagari remained expressionless like a Noh mask.

As another moment of silence stretched on for the umpteenth time, surprisingly, it was Keith who spoke up.

Keith: "Um... I'm Keith Howell, the First Prince of Jade."

Kagari: "……………Second Prince of Ruby. Kagari Amagase."

Keith: "Thank you for agreeing to train me, Sir.

Kagari: "........Sir?"

Keith: "I am weak and useless, weaker than even weeds, but—"

Keith: "As an older brother and a member of the royal family, I want to become stronger."

Keith: "So, um, please take care of me!"

Keith bowed his head so forcefully it seemed like a gust of wind might arise, causing Kagari to take a slight step back.

His expression remained unchanged. However, the hands clasped behind his back repeatedly clenched and released, as if deep in thought...

Kagari: "…………"

Keith: "Um...?"

Kagari deftly picked up a practice sword with his foot and pointed its tip at Keith.

Kagari: "First, a warm-up. Ready your sword."

Next

▼・ᴥ・▼

[justmultifandom]

Kidge summer event 2023

Day 16: Sunset

Keith knew that Shiro had ordered everyone to be with their families and take time for themselves, but his mind had been running pretty wild like a river lately, so he decided to just stand on his lion alone to get rid of them. And it had actually worked. During sunset Lance had come in for some support for his date, and a few minutes later Pidge arrived. To be honest, he didn't expect her at that hour, dressed like her in their new cartoon.

“I wasn't expecting you here,” he said, stroking his thick, soft wolf fur as she sat looking slightly sad next to him.

“I knew where to find you and… I need to talk to you”: she admitted in a snort.

“Has Kosmo stolen your computer yet? I'm sorry but he didn't bring anything to my room, you'll have to look for it somewhere else”: he laughed, to then notice her serious and slightly downcast frown.

“Oh, um… sorry… what did you want to tell me?”: His voice became serious again after an embarrassed cough.

“Today Lance and Allura had a date…”: she exhaled, her voice cracking slightly and her breathing too slow.

“I know, Lance came earlier”: he pointed out: “Is something wrong? Romelle told me you were with the girls all afternoon"

“No, everything is absolutely fine!”: she smiled, clapping and chasing away the silence of the desert, while the echo resounded on the rocky walls of the canyons. However, as she said this, she could see small tears forming in her eyes, her lips trembled and she shook her head. Keith lowered his gaze, moving closer to her and pulling her into a hug. She started to cry.

He didn't know what had happened, maybe something very bad for making Pidge cry like that, but he honestly didn't care. He cared that she was happy and that she felt better.

"No, it's okay… seriously…": she sobbed, clutching heis uniform and burying her face in her chest.

“It's not all right if you cry, Pidge. What's wrong?”: He asked again, wrapping his arms around her and whispering some sweet words from her to calm her down, rubbing her back.

“No I… I'm happy for them… I'm happy for him, he finally has his love life that he always wanted with her but… I just… I don't know…”: she admitted, trying to wipe away the tears that were falling from her eyes and wet her cheeks. She wondered why she had that burning sensation in her chest as if she had just been stabbed and she was bleeding to death.

Keith looked at her for a moment, first confused and then realizing.

“Oh… I'm sorry…”: he admitted, not knowing what he could do at that moment. He hadn't expected it given how she was dealing with him all the time, then thinking more deeply and noting that it was actually very possible.

“You always did a lot for him, didn't you?”: he asked, while she didn't stop crying. He kept talking only when he heard her nod.

"Romelle told me that you sold that dealer a video game that you wanted for a long time for Allura's dress": he continued to whisper to her: "It was very nice of you, but sometimes you also have to think a little about yourself, don't you think?”

“He wouldn't have played with me anymore anyway. I invited him to my house this morning to see our new cartoon but he refused because he had to ask Allura out”: she explained: “And then I get bored when I play video games alone”

“Did you ever think you could play a little with me?”: Her eyes widened at his words, feeling a slight tinge of warmth on her cheeks. Keith was looking at an unfamiliar dot, completely red in the face waiting for an answer, and Pidge could feel his pulse quickening with every passing second.

“Do you like video games? I… I would never have said that…”: she blushed even more with embarrassment. She felt like a bad friend for never really asking Keith whether or not he liked video games, also because he never mentioned them either.

“I have… I have in my father's shack many old videogames like Pac-man, Donkey Kong, Sonic, Mario and others…”: Keith blushed a little more: “Maybe tonight you and I could stay there and play some if you don't have commitments with your family...?”

“Oh… um…”: she looked around, feeling her cheeks burn suddenly, as her heartbeat accelerated: “I… um… My parents stay at the Garrison until late and N7 is coming to sleep with us tonight and I'm scared about what she and Matt could do so…if it's ok for you…yeah…that would be great…”

“Okay then…”: Keith smiled, looking back at the sun which had almost completely set by now, but as he was about to get up he felt something tug at his hand.

“No wait!”: she exclaimed, blushing realizing what she had done, and then speaking more shyly: "Can we stay here a little longer?"

"Sure": he smiled: "We'll leave when you're ready..."

[duckyshipss]

Teasers from: W.A.R.N. and The Very Emotionally Damaged Adventures Of Gotham's Next Generation:

(ORIGINAL WORK don’t copy without credits, can be found on AO3)

Keith's voice dropped a little. "Didn't realize you were tracking my schedule now."

"Think I can make Barry cry if I say nice things about her?" She grinned a bit.

"You do drop your elbow, though."

"Still rude."

Lian flopped onto the floor with a groan. "Why is everyone in this family weird?"

"You know," Kory said as she stirred, "when I first saw snow, I cried. I thought the sky was falling apart."

Korya sat on the counter, swinging her legs. "That's... weirdly poetic. I just thought snow was cold dandruff."

Lian: Reminder: If we meet on the Gotham rooftops again, I refuse to carry Keith's emotional baggage and his actual backpack.

There was a beat. Then she said, gently, "That isn't love, Astrophel. That's guilt disguised as purpose."

He met her gaze for a moment, solemn but not defensive. "He's not broken."

"You really gonna guilt trip me into chores when you can lift a tractor one-handed?"

"It's called tradition," Conner replied, nudging him lightly with an elbow. "Suck it up."

"Often," Kaldur admitted. "But I learned that identity isn't a fixed point. It's a journey—a series of choices and experiences that shape who we are."

Quotes from my fanfic..

(Coming soon don’t worry<3)

[messy-voltron]

Hcs for the paladins carrying their future s/o and freaking out because "OMG they're so cute and small and they're in my arms!!" sort of thing. Thanks <3

Me, both tall and large: mhm yep I’ve thought about this way more than I like to admit

Thank you so much for your submission! Just as a heads up, when thinking about the asks specifics, I decided to frame it as “future s/o as in they have a crush on them and haven’t asked them out yet.”

Shiro

Let’s be real, even before the mission to Pluto when he was still at the Garrison, this man probably had people ask to pick them up all👏the👏time!👏 And I can’t blame them! Not only can you see the muscles, but Shiro knows he has muscles, but prefers to use them for evil like picking up and wrestling his smaller friends mostly Matt

Here’s the thing though: this man doesn’t like to show off and under no circumstances wants people to think that he’s better than them, so he tries to avoid picking people up as much as possible

This is mostly the casual possibilities of being picked up by space dad, however in the heat of a battle, if you’re injured you will be scooped

Which was the case this time!! Why did you have to get caught in the attacks crossfire?!?! Shiro doesn’t even register the situation until he’s escaping the invasion with you......in his arms.....as he’s holding you and trying to steer the black lion at the same time...

Luckily the situation isn’t severe, a shot to the leg never killed anybody, so while you’re oN HIS LAP SHARING THE PILOTS SEAT, you’re cracking jokes about him being in your knight in shining armor, completely oblivious to the fact that this man is FLUSTERED

He can’t stop thinking about the situation!!! Thank the stars for auto pilot because the leader of voltron would not be able to steer and think about how perfectly you fit in his arms and how convenient two people can kinda fit on this seat at the same time

Once back in the castle, he refuses to set you down, totally taking advantage of the situation and just wanting to hold you just a biiiiiit longer, only setting you down in a cryochamber so you can, oh I don't know, start the healing process on the wound on your leg

Expect this man to want to pick you up all the time now, even if it is to show off a little. In all fairness, muscles take a lot of work and we wouldn’t want it to go to waste now would we? ;)  

Keith

Messy inserts another personal head canon: Keith has just a bit of enhanced strength due to being half galra

Just a bit though! 75% of his strength and muscle is due to intense training and working out and luckily for him he has a great practice buddy

Sparring is already pretty handsy so Keith’s already gotten over his fluster about that, but of course you just had to twist your ankle. Nothing serious, just a sprain, but he still feels so bad and wants to help out as much as he can

You teased him and told him he’s now legally responsible to carry you around all the time and oh god Keith you were kidding you were kIDDING-

I mean, he had to carry you to get help anyways, he just didn’t realize how much he actually liked doing it. I don’t know it just makes him feel important and likes knowing you’re safe in his arms and gosh you just fit so perfectly there dontchu?

Finds every little excuse to carry you because why on earth- or rather, why in space- would you ever need to use crutches when you have the red paladin right there? You need to go to the kitchen and grab some food? Keith. You want to hang out in the common area? Keith. You need to adjust the way your sitting because you’re getting a little sore? Keith. You need to sit up and drink some water on your bedside table? Don’t worry, for the answer to your problems is Keith

He’s too nervous to ask for your physical contact in other ways!! He likes holding you so so much! Be patient with this poor man

And lets be honest it’s not like you didn’t catch on or anything it just doesn’t help that you’re also too nervous to say something and kind like having him close so I can’t blame you for sticking too it but once your ankle is healed you better get the tension resolved otherwise he’ll just sprain his own ankle so that you have to be the one to hold him close

Lance

I mean this in the kindest way possible but season one Lance? Skinny and scrawny. Hunk saw this poor kid in the cafeteria and his grandma instincts kicked in to put some meat on his bones and that’s how they became friends

Time is kind to our boy though because turns out with enough green alien slop and life-threatening situations you too can gain some muscle

Lance loves it. Wants to show it off every chance he gets, especially when it comes to you. He’s a little old fashioned in the way that he wants to be your knight in shinning armor and sweep you off your feet so he took it a biiiit too literally

“Gasp! A puddle is on the floor! Fear not, your majesty, for I, Knight Lance, is here to make sure that your precious body is not soiled by the tainted water!”

The first time he does it it’s just meant to be a one off joke, but when he looked over and saw your smiling face and the way your laugh rang out bright and true and how close you were to him he just couldn’t stop there it would quite frankly be very illegal

Does it all the time and holds you longer than necessary but if you truly hated it he knows you wouldn’t still laugh the same or try and hide any rosiness in your cheeks or he wouldn’t notice the way you cling just a little bit harder when he goes to set you down

It’s silly and ridiculous, even Lance knows it, but there’s something about it that makes his heart flutter juuuuuuust a little bit

Hunk

Have you seen this man? You know how big he is he totally uses it to his advantage and will just pick you up like a kitten when he needs to

Especially if you’re really feisty and escalate to fights pretty easy Hunk’s learned to best way to de-escalate is to just scoop and throw you over his shoulder

“PUT ME DOWN, HUNK! CULTURAL ALIEN DIFFERENCE MY ASS I WON’T LET HIM SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT-!”

This man is such a sap though because he thinks it’s sooooo cute. I am, alas, not at all tech savvy but please feel free to insert the gif from Mulan of Chein Po holding Yao and rocking him back and forth until he calms down

Make no mistake though he still finds ways to pick you up when you’re in a neutral state whether that be moving you from a certain spot or holding you at arms length and kinda wiggle you around like a rag doll

A classic trick he’s learned is that when the two of you hang out, if the stars align just right where you’ve both stayed up late, when you get sleepy, you make him carry you to your room and “oh woe is me” Hunk takes on the treacherous task of carrying you and then tucking you into bed   

Hunk is a very tactile person!! He likes to hold you and finds every excuse to do it! and it’s not like you’re stopping him any time soon you enabler but yes he knows his size and strength and the roles he can play into and if forcefully picking you up and holding you instead of just asking for a hug is what it takes then he will do it

Pidge

Unfortunately, the universe was cruel when they decided her height (her words not mine) so she can’t pick you up and carry you bridal style all the time like she wants, but she has her ways

Her favorite way is to either lift you up when the two of you hug or do a sneak attack every once in a while from behind to spook ya

Every time you yelp and always demand that she “put you down and return your feet to the safety that is the solid ground and to never do that again”

squeek and squabble all you want but Pidge thinks its adorable. You always laugh so loud and your smile is always so wide plus she usually manages to get the best angles to do so which turns out is all of them

She usually let go for another minute or so, content to really just hold you and be close to you for as long as possible

If she’s feeling real clingy she will just cling like a koala bear and you’ll end up having to be the one to carry her which is completely unfair but of the things you do for love even when it’s not spoken yet

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 19

welcome to the nineteenth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Tidal by noero

Although Keith may not consider himself a theorist, he figures the impulse that fuels his own inertia is the only force that can stop Lance’s aimless velocity. They just fit. Far be it from him to question the laws of nature.

the best way i can hype up this fic is with the note i originally bookmarked it with:

nobody: keith, balls deep in his own issues: I Can Fix Him

2. Intermezzo by noero [EXPLICIT]

Their relationship had always been backward like that, needing to turn left before they turn right. They go up just so they can come back down and one step forward for every two steps back. They’d been running in circles so long that they skid the turn when they try to stop. Everything is urgent and feverish.

Alternately, the one in which Lance is handsy and Keith just really wants to kiss him.

i like this one bc these bitches are so MESSY. seriously. heaven forbid they use their words. or even their heads! but they love each other. so much. and i love how at one point keith tries to be a shit but ends up gomezing lance to the point where hes like actually swooning...that’s so them

3. Back With A Madness (Champion) by Mytay 

Lance stumbles upon a situation in which he figures that the best solution is to get in the face of a major crime boss, fight in a cage match, and be a hero for a couple of kids who need one desperately. Easy.

Except for the part where he's been forced into a week-long membership at this very hidden, potentially lethal fight club — but he can totally handle this. He refuses to be anything less than the hero these people need — and he can do that while not giving away the secret and messing up the diplomatic talks on this world. If it gets really bad, he can always call in his fellow Paladins for back-up, even if it means admitting he (maybe) screwed up.

But Lance knows he's gonna stick it out, no matter what, and moreover, he's gonna win.

i think most people int he fandom know about this gem at this point, but if not, then im ecstatic to be the one to introduce you! this is like a top three bamf lance fic -- he goes HARD here like he kicks ass! he also gets his ass kicked pretty thoroughly but still! the klance is amazing, the team dynamics are peak, and there’s even a bonus sprinkling of shatt which i have missed like u would not believe lol

4. Miles to Go Before I Sleep by smolintj

Keith, a trucker, has a favorite stop along his route. Although it may seem innocuous, Keith will make any excuse to stop off at Tom's Diner in Langston, a diner indistinguishable from any other except for a certain waiter Keith has taken a fancy to, and it seems the feeling is mutual.

i have been wanted to write a trucker au for AGES -- if there’s one thing about me i’ll romanticise working class jobs fuck all the romcoms that say otherwise lol -- and this fic is a good half of the reason why. its so cute. the fact that keith keeps lance’s picture with him on long rides has me!!!! they’re SWEETHEARTS!!!!

5. Scorch Marks That Burn The Ocean by @milkteamiku

Keith made him feel vulnerable, like a grass sprout pushing up through the ashes left by a forest fire. The words unravelling in him threatened to spill from his lips, racing against the burn of tears in the corners of his eyes. He forced them all back.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he lied. It almost tasted like the truth.

-

Lance is not coping. Keith notices.

i know this fandom is huge huge huge on langst. and i know there are a shitton of fics that try to write lance as broken. but no fic has ever been successful in portraying that like this fic, i think. this fic actually made my heart hurt for him. i think the difference is that in this fic lance is struggling so bad because of the situation he’s in, and he cannot get out of it. like it feels almost hopeless. of course there is a happy ending, but the whole time i was reading this i was genuinely hurting for him!! like!!

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!  

[caffedrine]

Keith Howell - Chapter 21 Dramatic - Summary

I pretty much have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t trust me, and you shouldn’t either. This summary is not guaranteed to be accurate, it’s mostly written for myself to follow along with the route.

The Court of Rhodolite was always peaceful on the surface. Doubtlessly there were still court intrigues and politics flowing under the surface, but it lacked the tension found in the Jade Court.

Oddly enough, today was an exception to the rule.

Rio speaks to a servant, asking if they visited the east side of the palace. The servant did, but there was nothing out of place. Out loud, Rio contemplates the possibility that they need to look outside of the palace.

From a distance, Keith watches Rio scramble back and forth obviously looking for something. He wonders why Rio looks so unusually panicked.

Well, that’s because someone stole Ms. Bunny.

Turning to face Gilbert, Keith desperately works through Gilbert’s nickname scheme. Is he saying someone stole Emma?

Gilbert admits that even he lost track of her right around noon. And knowing Ms. Bunny, he doubts she would just run away without letting anyone know. That’s why Rhodolite Court is in such a mess right now. Ms. Bunny has been kidnapped.

Still smiling, Gilbert places a hand on Keith’s shoulder, as if worried about how pale the latter is.

Gilbert has heard an interesting rumor recently, that Keith and Emma are lovers. Is Keith familiar with third-rate villains? They’re the kind of people who will kidnap a loved one and hold them hostage to control a person. And now, who knows what will happen to Emma if Keith doesn’t obey them?

So, it’s his fault Emma is in danger.

Probably. Gilbert noticed it was shortly after the messengers from Jade arrived that Emma went missing.

Slowly Keith covers his face, hiding an expression of dismay. Gilbert smiles at him and asks if this is the first time someone has been held hostage against him.

Well, it is the first time, but Keith had known about the possibility and thought he had prepared himself.

Gilbert muses that if Keith is being attacked, he must fight back. But he’s known to be a pushover who can’t stand up for himself. Is Emma doomed to die now? What a cruel fate.

Slowly Keith raises his face from his hands. He admits that Gilbert has the right to it, and thanks him for his advice.

If Jade’s involved, Emma is headed for the border. If he doesn’t hurry up, he won’t be able to track her after the crossing.

Laughing, Gilbert wishes Keith luck. He wonders if Emma will be able to see the true darkness that lies within those with power.

He wonders if the Royal family and the nobility will both perish due to the events today.

Keith assures him that he won’t die. He refuses to let anyone hurt Emma, and he has to be alive to do so. With an unfathomable smile, Keith turns his back to Gilbert and walks away.

Watching him leave, Gilbert muses that it’s bad to be part of the nobility in any country. He has a bad feeling about this.

(Gilbert dipping his toes into being a wingman)

~Several Hours Later~

Entering Keith’s room, Clavis cheerfully calls out to Keith, asking him to forgive the sudden intrusion. However, there is no reply since Keith isn’t actually there, though Dill in his cage flutters about. Following him, Licht complains that he just broke into Keith’s room.

But how can Clavis break in if the door isn’t locked? Besides, Licht witnessed him knocking first. Clavis was just concerned when Keith didn’t reply.

Licht is about to argue when his eyes alight on a letter laid prominently on Keith’s desk. Clavis sees it at the same time and asks Licht to read it to him. Immediately, Licht refuses - looking at the page it’s far too long.

Big brother Clavis believes in him! Just summarize it.

(He believes in Licht)

Complaining that Clavis shouldn’t act like a responsible brother, Licht scans over the page. He tells Clavis that it’s full of apologies, at least one hundred of them.

Okay, is Prince Keith by chance apologizing over anything specific? Maybe something important or relevant to their particular situation?

Licht reads on. From the beginning, Jade was suspecting Rhodolite and Obsidian of having an illegal weapons trade, and Keith’s main purpose was to investigate it.

Okay, that lines up with what Keith had told Sariel and the faction leaders earlier that morning.

Keith originally approached Emma, suspecting that she was an intermediary to the deal. However, using a truth serum, he had found out her true identity as Belle instead.

Truth serum? Clavis’ eyes narrowed in speculation. It sounds like Keith has just volunteered to be Clavis’ new favorite test subject for every last drug he dreams of.

Licht pauses, as if to contemplate this, and then continues reading. Keith has left to go rescue Emma - who has been kidnapped by Jade in an effort to control him. He takes full responsibility for this and promises to send her back to Rhodolite unharmed. The rest of the letter is apologies for the situation.

Clavis considers the implications of the letter - and what Keith is doing. Even though he’s being accused of attempted regicide, he’s run off by himself to rescue Emma.

Right now, Rhodolite is being questioned by the messengers from Jade about Keith’s current whereabouts. Does Licht know what will happen if they can’t produce Keith? The messenger will report that Rhodolite is aiding him. So, what can they do to delay the messenger until this kidnapping gets sorted out?

Seeing Clavis’s gaze on him, Licht immediately refuses to participate.

Oh, but look at the situation. Keith, man with few friends, is daringly running off to rescue the woman he loves. Smiling at Licht, Clavis tells him that he just came up with a wonderful idea. After all, Licht is friends with Keith and must want to help him.

~Some Time, Some Place~

Emma wakes up in a carriage, feeling the vibrations run through her. She is still very drowsy and only woke up because of the carriage running over a large bump.

Struggling to keep her eyes open, Emma looks around. She is unbound in a carriage, and it takes her a while to figure out why she’s there. The last thing she remembers is trying to find Keith in his room. No - wait, the last memory is of a cloth laced with a sweet smell covering her face.

She is alone in the carriage, and she wonders why her hands and feet were unbound. Maybe there was a reason they couldn’t tie her up.

Emma heard a loud noise from outside the carriage. It sounded like voices shouting but the windows are opaque and she cannot make anything out. Is the carriage being attacked?

Emma tries to open the carriage door, only to find it locked from the outside. Then again, she doesn’t know if she should leave. Does the carriage belong to an enemy and is taking her to her room? Or does the carriage belong to an ally, and is bringing her to safety?

The carriage rocks with a sudden blow, and the door buckles. Emma realizes that someone is forcing it open, whether she’s ready or not. Listening closely, she can tell that the outside is eerily quiet, except for the person at her door.

Looking around, Emma can’t see anything that she can use as a weapon or block the door with. The best she can do is cram herself in the farthest nook away from the door.

Suddenly Keith shouts out to Emma. Surprised, Emma calls back and sees that Keith has pried open the door wide enough for her to slip out. It suddenly feels like all the tension in the world that Emma has been unknowingly carrying is gone.

Keith asks if she’s okay, and Emma assures him she is. Then she takes a good look at him and grows afraid. She demands to know where Keith got hurt.

Uh, the blood isn’t his. Keith apologizes for showing up looking so frightening.

In any case, it’s still dangerous here, so Emma needs to exit the carriage and come with him. He warns her that once she exits the carriage, to look directly forward, and not to either side.

Well, Emma isn’t an idiot and can read between the lines. She nods, trying to not show the turmoil she feels on her face. It must work as Keith breathes a long sigh of relief.

He peels off a bloody glove and holds his hand out to her, helping Emma down from the carriage. Very quickly, he circled around to her side, as if trying to use his large frame to block Emma’s sight. Taking a deep breath of the iron-laced air, Emma focuses directly forward as Keith told her to, and walks forward.

They don’t get far into the forest before Keith’s hands are on her shoulders, stopping her. He mutters that there is no end to them, and Emma realizes that there is a man in plain clothes just ahead, with a bare sword in hand. Is this a roadside bandit? No, as more men come out of the trees to surround them, it becomes obvious that they’re particularly hostile, and had been waiting for them.

Keith tells Emma to close her eyes, just for ten seconds. Ten seconds is all he needs to deal with this. Looking at Keith, Emma understands that this is as kind as he can be in this situation. Nice!Keith is bottomless in his kindness, and she accepts it.

Seeing her nod, Keith smiles and steps in front of Emma, his back blocking her sight. He tells the group of assailants that he hates hurting people, but if they refuse to pull back then he will take the appropriate action.

Since her eyes were closed, she can’t grasp all that is happening, but Emma still has ears. It sounds like a life-and-death battle is being fought around her, and the screams of the injured ring in her ears. When Keith guides her forward and tells her to open her eyes, all she can see is the new splatters of blood on his cloak.

Accepting his kindness, Emma doesn’t look at anything behind them.

Keith grows obviously relieved when they come across a villa, and they enter it. He explains that although it belongs to him, few people know about it, as was able to purchase it under a false name. This is his refuge, where he comes to when he wants to be alone.

If it’s a property that Keith owns, Emma surmises that they’re in Jade. Nearby, Keith strips off his blood-soaked jacket as she sits on the sofa. For the first time in a long time, she feels like she can breathe. As the events all catch up with her, her body starts trembling. She clenches her hands, trying to stop shaking and avoid worrying Keith.

Keith kneels in front of her and looks closely at her face. He asks if she’s injured, and she assures him that she’s fine. More importantly, she’s worried about Keith.

Keith quickly assures her that he’s fine, but Emma disagrees. His face is pale, and he looks like he’s about to collapse. Now that things are calmer, she can look at him and really see him, and right now, a strong breeze might knock him over.

Because of Emma, the gentle, and kind Keith drew his sword and killed so many people. She places her hands on his cold cheeks, watching a shadow fall over his golden eyes.

Keith apologizes; he was afraid this entire time. He was convinced that just like his brother, he would lose her too. If he wasn’t fast enough in chasing after her, If he made the wrong choice, if he didn’t arrive in time . . .

Keith didn’t think anything through, instead, all he felt was the need to find her and rescue her as quickly as possible.

Keith’s trembling gets worse, and Emma decides to pretend to not notice it. Abruptly, Keith stands and hugs her tightly to him. Emma is still alive, and at least safer. Emma agrees and thanks him for rescuing her. If Keith hadn’t come for her, who knows what might have happened to her by now? Thinking about it only terrifies Emma more, so instead, she focuses on the warmth of Keith’s arms. His warmth, his smell, all come together to calm her down.

Abruptly Keith realizes what he’s doing and apologizes. It is wrong to hug her without her permission.

. . . so can he hug her?

(Keith is very pro-consent)

Emma gives him permission, on the caveat that he lets her hug him back. Surprised, Keith allows this, and she wraps her arms around him. Their bodies line up without any gaps, and Emma is surrounded by the smell of the forest.

Keith sighs, he’s in trouble now. When she hugs him like this, he wants to hold her for the rest of their lives. He might never be able to let her go. Laughing, Emma tells him that he’s exaggerating. Keith tells her that he’s not, by now she must know how he feels about her.

Emma’s heart jumps strangely, and she asks him if she was kidnapped. Keith admits that she was and apologizes for dragging her into his affairs. He is really, really sorry.

Emma tells him not to apologize, he’s done nothing wrong. She explains that Sariel already told her about how he was accused of regicide and was in the process of being extradited to Jade.

Drawing a deep breath, Keith muses that Emma has heard pretty much the whole of it. Emma agrees, and she has a general overview of Jade’s internal affairs now. The King of Jade’s younger brother, who is Keith’s uncle, is aiming to ascend the throne. To do that, he needs both the King and Keith out of the way.

Keith confirms Emma’s knowledge, adding that she’s probably been recognized as his weakness. When he gets to Jade, Keith is going to be put on trial and questioned about his role in the assassination attempt against the king. Of course, forgeries and false evidence have already been prepared in advance, so there’s a very high chance he’s going to be found guilty.

In a noble trial, the truth doesn’t matter so much as your popularity. It’s an opportunity for nobles to enact their own will and vote on what benefits them, as opposed to finding the true culprit.

Emma is aghast; Keith is a kind prince who cares deeply about Jade, but he’s convinced he’s going to lose based on his lack of popularity. Keith strokes her hair soothingly, and Emma realizes that her anger was showing on her face.

Keith has many enemies among the nobility of Jade, and Emma recalls Sonia’s party. She had met a very unpleasant duke who took delight in telling her disparaging rumors about Keith. The memory angers her, and she admits this to Keith. Smiling, Keith tells her that she’s the only person he knows who would get this angry on his behalf. His arms tighten around Emma as if he’s recovered some of his stamina.

Despite everyone agreeing that he was a failure prince, Keith’s uncle must still be wary of him. There are times when Keith has outdone himself and even he has to agree that he’s succeeded. Keith’s uncle must recognize this as well, and kidnapped Emma to ensure that Keith would announce his guilt at the trial.

Emma grumbles that this is a dirty way of operating, and this farce can’t be considered a real trial. Keith apologizes. Emma asks why Keith is apologizing.

The more they talk, the more upset Emma gets. If Keith didn’t like her so much, she never would have been dragged into his affairs. He was too selfish, letting himself develop feelings for her.

Emma doesn’t agree, the person in the wrong is Keith’s uncle, not Keith. And if he’s selfish, so is she; Emma had plenty of opportunities and warnings to break off whatever it was between them. Even knowing that Keith was a Prince, and a foreign prince at that, she stepped into this mess.

Keith apologizes again, and Emma interrupts him. She reminds him that she doesn’t want him to apologize to her, he’s not to blame for every bad event that happens in their lives. She recalls a similar scene, where she warned Keith that his words don’t just hurt her, but himself.

Ever since Sariel told her about Keith’s circumstances, Emma has been thinking about how few people Keith has to rely on. Rhodolite can’t get involved with foreign politics, and he has few allies in Jade. But the malice he is facing is too much for a single person to face; so, Emma wants to help him. She doesn’t know what she can do, but since she’s been dragged in, she must have some rights and abilities.

Emma promises to fight together with Keith, she refuses to sit on the sidelines and watch.

Keith is amazed, he mumbles that she really –

Suddenly Keith stumbles, almost falling on top of Emma. As she shouts his name, Keith falls down.

[shatterinseconds]

College party

Klancetober ‘21 week 1

Maybe it’s because midterms just ended and Keith is still riding off the adrenaline of taking four two hour tests all in the span of three days. Maybe it’s because his system is still functioning on 99% coffee and 1% actual sleep. 

Whatever the cause is, Keith really did not mean to kiss Lance. Not at a frat party and definitely not on a random Thursday night in October. 

They’re held up in some unoccupied bedroom, Keith needing to get away from the party atmosphere for a little bit and Lance obliging his wishes even though he’s the type that lives for parties. 

But here Keith is, one hand braced on Lance’s thigh as he leans in to kiss Lance, caught up in the euphoria of having his best friend and crush sitting beside him and his hot breath constantly brushing against his cheek whenever he talked.

Once reality returns, Keith hastily pulls back, wide eyed.

“Shit,” he says, snapping his body back and refusing to look at Lance. He drags a hand through his hair, harshly tugging on the strands as if the pain might wake him from the nightmare. He can only stare at the floor. The soles of his boots are wearing thin; he’ll have to find a new pair soon.

“Keith,” he hears Lance say, a little distantly but that’s only because his mind has retreated into itself, trying to ignore what happened. He ruined everything. Suddenly he feels another hand in his hair--Lance’s--that starts to untangle his own. His grip loosens, falling limp at Lance’s touch. “Keith, say what’s on your mind.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, mumbles it really, as he gathers the courage to look at Lance. When he does, Lance’s expression is gentle, curiosity shining in his eyes and a dimple forming when his mouth quirks to the left. His hair remains curled from the heat of the dancefloor, where he already worked up a sweat. Keith wants to run his hands through it, to mess it up even more. “I didn’t mean to kiss you.”

“You did. You never do anything you don’t mean.”

Keith sighs. “Alright, I didn’t mean to kiss you tonight,” he amends his previous statement.

Lance rests his head against the bed frame, watching Keith with a slowly evolving smirk. “Should have done it sooner.”

“What?” Body stiffening, Keith looks at Lance in shock, lips remaining parted. He wonders if he misheard Lance and if just being in the proximity of alcohol has muddled his brain even though he hasn’t had anything to drink. 

Rolling his eyes, Lance scoots closer. Their knees bang together, jostling Keith back into some semblance of clarity when Lance leans in. “Honestly, Keith, with how many hints I had to throw your way during our study sessions, I thought I’d grow old before you made a move.”

“You could’ve done something yourself,” Keith lightly argues back, shaking his head. Hesitantly, he lifts his hand to Lance’s face, his thumb gently brushing across the top of his cheekbone, over a spattering of freckles, and smiles when Lance leans into the touch.

“I know,” Lance admits, “But I had to make sure you wanted it too.”

“Well, I do.”

Lance laughs. He takes Keith’s hand in his own and brings it to his mouth, kissing the back of it. “Clearly.” 

They never end up returning to the party, claiming the last hours of the night for themselves and an impromptu first date.

[robinchan-hananomi]

Okay, I’m gonna stop taking about the manga I promise, but I did want to mention my favorite stories first!

The first was Ivan and Pao-Lin trying to give Barnaby a late birthday present. So the two learn about Barnaby’s birthday and the fact that they are the only ones who haven’t gotten him anything. So they decide to band together and get him a gift. Ivan picks it out (it’s a happi) and Pao-Lin wraps the gift writing ‘Congratulations’ in kanji. They leave it with Barnaby’s stuff but since Barnaby doesn’t know kanji, he figures they left it by accident and after Keith points out which way they went, he heads out to return it to the two.

However the gift gets stolen by a group of thieves. Barnaby, who still doesn’t know it’s a present for him, goes after the thieves to get it back and Pao-Lin goes with him (Ivan takes an elevator instead of jumping off a bridge. You know, like a normal human being.) And the three chase the thieves down. Pao-Lin takes down one and Barnaby takes down the second but the third is still standing...rather they fell on a car but they are still able to fight. At least until a grumpy local who lives in a nearby apartment comes out, yelling about all the racket they are making and the car that got smashed just happens to be theirs. The grumpy local is Kotetsu and furious at the damage to his car, he just flips the guy off and captures him before seeing the other heroes and learning what just happened.

Barnaby then tries to give the package back to Pao-Lin and Ivan but they get too embarrassed to explain it’s actually a birthday present for him. Fortunately for everyone Kotetsu comes over and explains what it is, Barnaby apologizing for not knowing as he can’t read kanji, and opening it up. To the three’s absolute shock, he actually puts the happi on, smiles, and thanks them for the gift (remember this is episode 5 of season 1, so this is pretty odd). The mystery is solved seconds later when they realize the noise drew a crowd and Barnaby was showing off for his fans.

My other favorite story is one I’m actually disappointed that they never used in the show. Or at least a variation of. So Kotetsu is on his way home from work to find all his hero cards are sold out. Out of curiosity he checks all the stands that sell the cards and every time he gets there he learns all his cards are sold out. He gets so excited he tells the other heroes (and when Keith points out his cards are always sold out Kotetsu says there is a big difference between Keith’s cards being sold out and his own cards being sold out). The other heroes are more preoccupied with a series of random arson cases though. Barnaby is worried about Kotetsu since he’s still injured from Lunatic. Instead of asking Kotetsu is he’s okay like he plans to, he instead shows Kotetsu a bunch of information he gathered about the arson case. Kotetsu suddenly becomes serious and claims he has something to do before taking off.

While Kotetsu is gone, Agnus calls all the heroes and informs them that they found a link between all the arson cases. They found a type of paper at the cases that is used in the trading cards for the heroes. At the most recent site they found a partial of Wild Tiger’s card, meaning whoever is doing the arson cases bought all the Wild Tiger cards in the city and are using them to burn places down. Barnaby realizes Kotetsu figured something out and heads out to find him. He sees Kotetsu wondering around town in his mask, calling for someone to ‘show themselves’. Kotetsu is attacked by a man who can apparently ignite cards and use them as bombs. Barnaby intervenes and the suspect gets away. Kotetsu tries to write it off but Barnaby gets mad and Koetesu admits that the suspect is a guy Kotetsu arrested 10 years ago when he was a rookie.

Agnus wants all the heroes to function as a body guard group for Kotetsu, which he unsurprisingly refuses. When no one is looking Kotetsu escapes his new entourage and goes out looking for the suspect. Barnaby discovers he is gone and follows him. It turns out that the suspect is being controlled by another NEXT, the man’s own daughter, who blames Kotetsu for her father being ‘broken’ after his time in prison. However the suspect explains that Kotetsu actually saved his life ten years ago. Kotetsu had arrested the man during a chase but granted his plea to visit his daughters birthday party before handing him over to the police. Before the man could give his daughter a birthday gift however, an assassin attacked him. Kotetsu saved him, but it looked like Kotetsu hurt him instead. So the daughter went her whole life thinking Kotetsu just showed up at her birthday party and randomly attacked her dad. She and her father apologize to Kotetsu for all the trouble and the daughter does get arrested for arson.

The third goes to a Christmas story. Kotetsu is trying to call Kaede to wish her a merry Christmas, but he keeps getting her voicemail. He’s discouraged but keeps trying. He mentions to Barnaby that he’s not good at the ‘dad’ thing and Barnaby tries to consul him that it’s all part of the job. Kotetsu tells him it isn’t normally part of the job, that he made it part of the job.

Kotetsu tells Barnaby about a time one year after Tomoe died. It was Christmas Eve and he promised Kaede he would be home. Young Kaede is so excited, she not only draws a picture of her, Tomoe, and Kotetsu but waits up all night for him even sitting outside in the cold so she can see him as soon as he gets there.

Meanwhile in Sternbild Kotetsu and Ben say their farewells for Christmas, however Kotetsu gets a call. He goes out and does a rescue job but immediately after there is a fire and he goes to help put out the fire. All night there is call after call and by the time Kotetsu is able to leave Sternbild, the last train to Oriental Town had already departed. While we got to see this was still a time where Kotetsu was a top charting hero, it is heartbreaking to see him get so close to seeing his daughter for Christmas only not to make it. However, Muramasa is there in his car, telling Kotetsu he left for Sternbild right after Kotetsu talked to their mom that afternoon because he figured something like this would happen. On the drive home he scolds Kotetsu for his priorities and tells him he won’t say something like ‘it’s part of the job’ because it isn’t and Kotetsu also needs to prioritize Kaede. He says if Kotetsu can’t ‘stick to his guns’ and figure out a balance, he and Anju won’t be able to root for him in the future. Kotetsu wraps up the story in present time by telling us that he made it home just in time to get the presents under the tree before Kaede woke up, and had to take the first train back to Sternbild so he never got to see her.

Kotetsu asks Barnaby to keep an eye on him and make sure he ‘keeps to his guns’. Barnaby is confused. Later while at a photo shoot, Kaede calls Kotetsu’s phone, but because Kotetsu is busy it’s Barnaby who picks up. Barnaby offers to go get Kotetsu so they can talk but she says it’s fine and asks if Barnaby can deliver a message instead. She says for him to tell Kotetsu to stop worrying about her all the time as she is fine and focus on being a hero because if she messes it up, she can’t root for him. Barnaby only laughs in response because he tells her he may not have to keep an eye on Kotetsu after all.

The fourth is Kotetsu is on trial for damaging the Justice Statue, which is making a record breaking fine of approximate 20 million. Kotetsu doesn't make any case to defend himself as he’s being prosecuted by the man who created the statue. The testimony from Barnaby and the rest argues that Kotetsu had used the statue to plug a hole where a vast amount of water was escaping and threatening lives and emergency transportation. It is ruled that Kotetsu’s actions were instrumental in saving lives but the question is more of why he used such an important landmark to do it. Barnaby says that it’s because in the heat of the moment, Kotetsu didn’t have anything else nearby to use. The court case is called to a recess however due to a call.

While leaving Kotetsu is stopped by a woman with her children who thank him for the day before and apologize that he is in so much trouble because of them. Kotetsu tells her not to worry about it before leaving. Later the court case reconvenes and Yuri asks if Kotetsu has nothing to add. Kotetsu says he doesn't and Yuri reveals the woman came to talk to him, informing him that Kotetsu was originally going to use a nearby car to plug the hole but the woman begged him not to as her and her family were living out of that car. So he used the statue instead, which was the only thing nearby.

The prosecuter is outraged, saying the statue is worth more than a stupid car and Kotetsu intentionally destroyed it. Barnaby and Mr. Lloyds are also stunned because Kotetsu didn’t mention them at all. However both Yuri and the statue’s creator find that Kotetsu made the right choice. The creator of the statue only asks for the money that would need to repair the statue, half of which Yuri charges to the transportation companies. The other half is ended up being raised by the people of Sternbild and Kotetsu repays his part by helping fix it.

The two honorable mentions that I won’t go into detail of are Muramasa and Kaede’s visit to Sternbild as well as Kotetsu carrying around an injured man all day so he he can say goodbye to the love of his life before he goes to jail.

[blueberry-sunshines]

Small Surpises— Big Brother Shiro x Little Sister Reader

Summary:

You are Shiro's younger sister waiting on him to return from a mission while you reminisce about your life with your big brother which then gets interrupted when he brings you back an unexpected surprise...

Word Count: ~2K

Childhood memories | Brotherly Love

Requested by: @white_skittle on Wattpad

{Your POV}

Honestly, you had never really thought that it would be so boring to be in a half-castle half-spaceship until you were actually in one. It sounds crazy to even think you'd be in one let alone that one exists! One moment you were on earth with Keith trying to figure out these weird radio signals and then the next your brother who'd been missing for a year had crash landed onto earth in an alien pod! And just when you didn't think anything could get any crazier, you found a giant blue lion that whisked you all away into space! That was just the beginning of all the adventures you'd have traveling the universe with your new found family. But as of now, the only thing you could do is wait around the Castle of Lions until the Paladins are back from their mission. To keep your mind off of your boredom and anxiety you tried your best to distract yourself with useless things like wondering the castle and getting lost in your own thoughts.

You were significantly younger than your brother, Shiro. While he was 25, you were only a teenager. You two were always rather close despite your age difference. Shiro was always so cool, you and all of your friends thought he was the most amazing person in the whole world. And if you were being honest with yourself, he still was. I mean, being the paladin of the Black Lion and the leader of Voltron was the coolest thing you could think of! As kids you and Shiro loved playing together, you would play with his soldiers and planes or he'd play dolls with you. You two would spend hours playing little games like hide and seek or just playing pretend.

You would be the princess and Shiro would always be the courageous knight there to protect and save you from evil villains and mystical dragons. Using sticks and pool noodles as swords he would slay any foes that even dared to hurt his little sister. Shiro has always been your hero in more ways than you'd ever realize.

"Fear not, Princess (Y/N)!" He would cry, holding his makeshift sword in the air. "I will slay this dragon to protect you and your kingdom from his evil!" He would then jab at one of your stuffed animals or sometimes even trees, pretending they were the villain.

     As you got older, you two were still super close. Shiro was then entering his teens, going to the Galaxy Garrison to be a pilot. He was so smart and so talented and all you ever wanted to do was impress him. When you didn't think he could get any cooler he always did. But even though he was at the Garrison, he still had never let you down. You have many memories of Shiro picking you up after school and taking you out to your favorite diner. Sitting in a booth across from each other he would ask you about your day while drinking a milkshake in his bright orange Cadet uniform.

"You look silly in your uniform, Takashi." Little you giggled in your memory. You could still see Shiro's face as he pulled away from his Oreo milkshake's straw, as well as the smile that formed on his face as he let out a small chuckle.

"I guess I do look kind of silly, huh?" He agreed, setting down his milkshake softly.

These couple times a week visits made it feel like Shiro had never really left at all. Soon you were able to transfer into the Garrison Cadet program and next thing you remember is staying up late into the night studying with Shiro and practicing your techniques. Shiro was the star of the Garrison and he still remained the star of your life. Sure you had made many friends, but Shiro was still your best friend above all else. You still remember when Shiro had introduced you to Keith and how you two got off to a rocky start. But eventually, it didn't feel like it was just you and Shiro against the world anymore. Soon you had a new honorary brother in Keith. You would all ride around together on Hoverbikes and Landspeeders and you even would take Keith for milkshakes at your diner.

"Hah!" You beamed triumphantly as you swung to a halt on your hoverbike. You looked behind you now as your brother came up to a stop behind you. You laughed triumphantly as you had just beaten Shiro to your designated finish line. "I told you I could beat you!"

"I never doubted you for a second." Shiro told you proudly as he whipped the sweat from his forehead.

You looked now on the other side of you over the edge of the large cliff next to you. "So can I learn the dive now?" You blurted out quickly.

Shiro laughed warmly, "Absolutely not." He said quickly and gave you a teasing smile. "Not until I'm sure you and Keith are both ready." He explained, watching you pout in amusement.

As you were entering your teenage years and Shiro was leaving his, you two had somehow managed to grow even closer. He had come out to you over the course of your time at the Garrison. You still remember him gushing to you all about his, then crush, Adam. You were there for him when coming to terms with his feelings and there when he brought Adam home to your parents for the first time. In return he was always there for you, helping you when you were sick, giving you advice when you were down in the dumps, and he helped you through your first ever breakup.

Time was flying by so quickly and soon, you were an accomplished pilot just like your big brother, and Shiro had asked Adam to marry him. Life was just the way you liked it and you didn't think anything could ruin your wonderful relationship with Shiro. If none of the petty sibling fights you got into or even any of the serious ones could have ruined it, you didn't know what could. But, you could never forget Kerberos...

"We're back!!!" You heard a voice shout from a room over. It was the cherry voice of Lance McClain exclaiming their arrival in the castle. You began running back down the corridor to return to the lounge where you heard the voices coming from.

"Hey, (Y/N)!" Hunk smiled seeing you enter the room. You saw Lance, Pidge, Hunk, Keith, and Allura all standing in the room.

"How did it go out there today?" You asked them all, subconsciously looking around for your brother. The Paladins went to a freed planet to collect some tech that was needed to help the fight against the Galra.

"We collected all the samples we needed." Pidge told you before gesturing behind her, "Coran and Shiro are unloading as we speak." She was unusually smiley, but you brushed it off as her just being happy to have new tech to work with. You were about to leave to go find Shiro when,

"(Y/N)," Keith said your name now, walking over to you, also dawning a small smile. "There's also something we brought back for you, too."

"Hey!" You heard Lance complain, "I wanted to be the one to tell (Y/N)!"

"Too bad." Keith smirked at him and the two began a small, signature squabble as they walked past towards the direction of the showers.

You looked over at Pidge and Hunk now curiously, "What are they talking about?" You asked them, furrowing your brow in thought trying to guess what on earth they could have brought you. You heard them both giggle as they refused to give you any clue before heading towards the showers as well. Your last hope was Allura.

She just looked as confused as you, "I do wonder what they had brought you as well." She said warmly before following you towards the other door the four Paladins had come from originally. As you and Allura made your way down the hallway she tried to offer you ideas as to what they could've brought you, but half the things she said you had no idea what she was talking about.

Once you reached the hangar where the Paladins had come from, you sprinted towards the Black Lion. Coran was placing small metal crates onto a floating cart and Shiro was helping him.

"Shiro, Hey!" You yelled as you got closer, Allura still following suit.

"(Y/N)!" Shiro called your name happily placing down a crate and turning towards you. You laughed as you ran into his arms, you felt him stumble a bit upon impact and you heard him chuckle.

"You really missed me that much?" He teased you as he gave you a tight squeeze before putting you back safely balanced onto your feet.

"Always do." You smiled up at him affectionately. You then cut right to the chase, "Keith said you guys brought me something!"

Shiro raised an eyebrow at you, "He did, did he?" You nodded in response and he let out another laugh. "Alright, you got me." He admitted humbly.

"Is it another crystal?" You asked excitedly. Shiro had brought you small trinkets before from the missions you didn't get to go on. The Paladins often needed your help, but sometimes when there wasn't any risk you'd just stay behind.

"It's better than that." He said mysteriously as he lead you back towards his lion.

"Is it a bigger crystal?" You asked which earned you a laugh in return.

"No... now stop guessing!" He shook his head in amusement. "Wait here, I'll be right back." Shiro instructed you, turning snd disappearing into the lion.

You looked back over to where Allura and Coran were conversing about something while you waited. Once your brother reemerged from Black, he was holding a small box that had some kind of cloth or blanket sticking out from it. You stared at the box in pure curiosity as Shiro grew closer.

"Keep your voice down," he advised as the contents of the box were nearly in full sight. "You don't want to startle him."

You were still not understanding what this could be but now you were thinking it may be alive. Despite not knowing, you listened to your brother and kept quiet. Shiro held the box further down and you saw him.

      You had to hold in a squeal as you saw what Shiro had brought you. It was a small light gray ball of fluff. The creature had long droopy ears, four legs with five tiny toes on his paws. It had four small horns above his closed eyes, a pink nose and cute little pouting mouth. His chest and his face were white and he was all curled up in his long, white, fluffy tail. He sort of reminded you of a chinchilla but much more alien like.

        Gasping you looked back up to Shiro, "No way..." you breathed out finally. Shiro had a large smile on his face.

        "Do you like him?" He asked now, "His breed is concerned to be a loyal partner on Ormaphu. He's a traditional Ormanphian pet called a Bentorm."

         "Shiro I love him!" You gushed looking back down as your sweet, little baby Bentorm.

          "I'm glad, I thought you would."

      When you were kids, you would always beg your parents for a pet but they never let you or Shiro get anything besides fish. Your new Bentorm was the most amazing pet you could think of! Your attention was turned back to the box when you heard him let out a soft yawn as he stretched and uncurled himself. You let out a soft aww, as he sat upright and looked up at you with big, black eyes. He looked as if he was smiling as he looked up at you, he began making a sweet chirping noise and you looked up at Shiro in amazement.

        "You can pick him up." Shiro told you softly, smile still prominent on his face. You reached down and picked him up softly from his tummy, under his arms. You pulled him close to your chest and he quickly snuggled into you, smile on his cute, Bentorm face.

         "From what his breeder told me, they don't get much bigger and they love riding on their owners shoulders as they get older."

       "Allura!" You exclaimed, "Look what Shiro brought me!!"

       

        Allura came over then, in the same awe that you were upon seeing him for the first time. "Is that a Bentorm?" Allura asked looking up at Shiro.

      Shiro nodded and moved the box onto his hip you free one of his hands to pet the Bentorms head.

       "What are you gonna call him?" Shiro asked looking back up to you.

         "Hmmm, I'm not sure..."

_________________

Hi everyone! Thanks for reading this Brother Shiro one shot! It wasn't super long but I think it's pretty cute. Shiro would be the best big brother and I hope I captured that!

Have a great day! Keep requesting please!

[willadisastercry]

Lance ignores his asthma and Coran is not willing to be an accomplice

Lance’s asthma hadn’t been much of a problem in space... until now. With his last inhaler having been running low for about month, he thought he’d been okay relying on the dehumidifier Pidge rigged up for his room while he milked what was left. And he had been relatively fine with just that. It’d actually been weeks since he had an attack, usually able to calm any inflammation before it developed into something worse. But his lungs are acting up again and he’s officially out of medicine right when Shiro has an agility test planned. So when the fear of knowing he had no rescue after he gets winded during the intense drill only makes the tightness in his chest worsen, he soon has everyone frantically searching for his inhaler... what happens when they discover it’s empty?

UPDATE: now revamped and a lot more literate on ao3, go check it out!

Part 1 / Part 2

“Lad,” Coran sighed, shaking his head exasperatedly as he bent down to receive a another tool from Lance.

“Please don’t,” he grumbled in response, the whistle beneath each word more than evident now.

“The sound of your lungs struggling is louder than the air vent my boy, and it’s broken. Why don’t you take a break and do a breathing treatment—“

“I’m fine, Coran!” he huffed in annoyance, remaining firm in his refusal to admit he was anything other than.

The older man narrowed his eyes, the tone in his dramatically cocked eyebrow admonishing.

“Not like I’m dying or anything, it’s just asthma. Doesn’t mean I can’t still do stuff!”

The last statement was punctuated with a quick cough into the crook of his elbow, it sounded crackly and came from deep in his chest.

Coran’s grimace only intensified.

“We really must establish a more precise translation for the word ‘fine’ because it seems that we have a different connotation in Altea...”

Lance grumbled again, the rattle in his chest worsening with each noise of protest.

“I’m totally alright to finish helping you with this. It’s not a big deal, I can handle it later,” he assured, though none too convincingly since the ladder he was supposed to be holding in place while Coran worked was doing a better job keeping Lance steady.

“Do I need to find Shiro and have him make it an order? I’m sure he would agree that we need our blue paladin in tip top shape, especially with what he’s got planned for training tomorrow.”

The younger boy stiffened at that, his shoulders falling in defeat a second later because he knew Coran was not one to bluff and maintaining his pride wasn’t nearly enough of a motivation to consider calling him on it then.

“Do you require assistance back to your quarters or—“

“M’fine, thanks.”

Lance waved off the idea with a dejected wheeze and officially gave up on concealing the noises his chest was making, letting the subtle wheezes that came with every rise and fall be heard as he made his way down the corridor.

He’d been tight all day and it had only gotten worse as the afternoon progressed.

Training that morning was relatively light considering Shiro wanted to run benchmark tests on everyone’s physical abilities the next day. He had stressed multiple times how it was not a competition and just to see where their strengths and weaknesses were so they knew what to work on, eyeing Lance and Keith when he said so.

They all knew what would happen despite the warning, that it would be a competition no matter how hard Shiro tried to advocate against it. But with the rattling in his lungs only worsening, Lance was becoming concerned for the morning to come.

His asthma hadn’t acted up much while they were in space.

The castle seemed to take care of any dust particles that would have otherwise set him off and the paladin suits usually did a good enough job filtering the air inside and keeping out any potential irritants.

That left only two major issues for him to be wary of: which was 1) the lack of moisture in the recycled air, and 2) intense physical excercise.

The first issue isn’t really an issue anymore because of Pidge.

She’d borrowed an altean mug warmer and tea kettle from the kitchen and rigged up a sort of mock dehumidifier after hearing that Lance had gotten a nose bleed almost every night the first week they were there. It only blew up on one occasion, but once she figured out a way to keep the water hot without shorting several fuses, Lance was golden.

No more nose bleeds unless they planned on ever exploring another bizarre dust planet.

She’d also macgyvered a sort of breathing mask out of a funnel and spare tubing that he could attach to the kettle when he needed something more direct to alleviate tightness during an attack.

This of course was not intended to be his sole means of treatment because his inhaler was supposed to be, but he was on his last one and had to ration what was left.

It was by pure cosmic chance that both Hunk and Lance had one on each of them when they got thrown into this mess. Hunk was perpetually reminded of how forgetful his best friend could be and scarred enough by instances where he’d needed one and hadn’t had it that he made a point to carry one with him pretty much at all times.

And it was his best friend’s determination to avoid the undo stress of such a traumatizing event again (if he could help it) that ultimately saved his ass for the first few months of their stay. And thank fucking god for that because it had gotten him this far through their time in space without major incident.

Lance, however, was still very fucked.

Coran hadn’t yet perfected a medicine that mimicked what was in his inhaler and worked fast enough. The only things on hand that eased inflammation were topical and took too long to improve anything for it to be used the way Lance required.

But he was desperate enough to seriously consider stopping by medbay after dinner to steal a vat of the magical salve to use before bed leaving plenty of time to work before the morning.

Even with this menial solution, he knew that the next day was still destined to be a shitshow of some caliber because enter problem number two...

His asthma only flared during physical activity and inhibited his ability to keep doing that physical activity if he didn’t have adequate time to catch his breath. And Shiro’s usually pretty good about exercising in a healthy and controlled way, so once again he was usually pretty golden as far at that area went.

But he also usually didn’t excercise when his lungs were acting up.

And he’d also always had his inhaler.

And they also usually never did that much cardio all in one day.

Then again, Lance was screwed, so of course everything that could possibly make the situation worse... was.

Though it wasn’t until he was on his cold cabin floor, head between his knees heaving in the steam from Pidge’s tea kettle dehumidifier that he realized just how fucked he might be.

Because it wasn’t helping.

Like at all.

It was loosening up the congestion, sure. But it wasn’t doing anything about opening his airways. They weren’t getting worse as far as tightness went but they weren’t getting much better either, still uncomfortably constricted and making him wheeze.

And so he finally bit the bullet and reached for his inhaler, but his heart seized with fear after feeling how empty it was when he shook it. No. He was certain he’d had a handful of pumps left and that was definitely enough to get him through the next morning, it had to be.

But when he brought it to his lips and inhaled nothing, he almost cried.

That’s just lovely.

Lance stayed hooked up to Pidge’s breathing contraption until dinner was called. He ignored how sore his back and sides had become as he made his way to the dining hall from the sheer amount effort it took to breathe because if he stayed on that fact too long he would start panicking.

He had to work twice as hard to cover up the sound of his lungs straining while they ate, not feeling the slightest bit hungry with how anxious he was that he wouldn’t be able to get his symptoms under control before the next morning.

“Is everything alright number three, you’ve hardly touched your dinner?”

“Food goo’s just not that appetizing tonight, sorry,” Lance managed without sounding too hoarse or crackly, his voice lower than Coran’s so as not to attract the attention of the others.

“Have your swollen capillaries anything to do with—“

“My capillaries are just fine Coran,” Lance sneered quickly.

His glare was deadly but the older man wasn’t budging and didn’t bother to keep his voice down as he probed and Lance continued to push the pile of green sludge around his plate through the entire ordeal.

“What’s this about something being swollen?” Shiro asked, looking woefully confused of which set the other paladins off in a fit of laughter.

None of them had been listening and couldn’t even begin to guess what he was referencing.

“Who is swollen?” the Princess added from the other side of the table, eliciting a resounding uproar from the others as Lance’s interrogation continued.

It seemed that as more pairs of eyes bore into him the harder it had become to fight the tickle at the back of his throat and avoid coughing.

“Lance’s lungs appear to be in distress and it’s giving the boy some discomfort. I believe I sent him to his room earlier to take care of it before it became an issue but it seems—“

“I did take care of it. My lungs are fine now Shiro,” Lance countered, his face burning for a slew of reasons now: embarrassment, dishonesty, fatigue. He just wanted to go back to his room and stick his face in a funnel for however many hours it took until his lungs didn’t ache so badly.

“Hmm, why do I somehow not believe that’s true?”

He could deal with Shiro’s doubtful frown, not like it’s the first time it’s been aimed at him.

“You really should be honest with us Lance, you’re health is not something to be reckless with.”

The disappointment in Allura’s smile was a little harder to withstand.

“Is the tea kettle not staying warm enough? I can take a look at the wiring again...” Pidge offered absently.

“Tea kettle’s perfect, only had to use it for a couple minutes before I felt better,” he said facing Coran and narrowing his eyes.

“It is the duty of the Princess and I to make sure our paladins are well, so do not give me that look, it is most displeasing.”

“Yeah? Well, ya know what else is displeasing? Betrayal!”

“You are so dramatic.”

Lance was almost grateful when Keith rolled his eyes at him.

“See Shiro? That’s how you know he’s okay, right back on his bullshit—“

“Pidge! ”

“They’re not wrong, bud,” Hunk agreed, the threat of an another burst of laughter serious now. Lance didn’t feel like laughing though, not when his chest wasn’t expanding nearly as much as he needed it to.

“You’re all traitors as far as I’m concerned! I’m outta here, thanks for the food I guess,” he grumbled and whisked whatever was left of his goo into the trash before setting off for the kitchen to wash his plate, promptly tuning out the voices calling him back to the table.

His lungs were on fire and once he was out of ear shot he indulged himself in clearing his throat but it soon devolved into a flurry of painful coughs that had been building and torturing him as soon as he’d left his room. They were dry and raucous and left him slightly winded once he finished.

“That’s... not good, not good at all,” he murmured to himself, his voice rasping and crackly as he strode off towards medbay.

The walk making his chest sting with how urgent his strides were, but he didn’t dare slowing. He didn’t even wait until he got back to his room to smear the sticky blue substance across his chest once he made it there.

It had an immediate cooling affect on his skin, the slight sting a nice distraction as it started the slow process of remedy.

A full night was more than enough time for the medicine to do its job, convinced he’d feel good as new when he woke up. And if worst came to worst he would just take it easy during whatever Shiro had planned, which wouldn’t technically be him tapping out or anything, just him being careful.

With this resolve, he took the longer route back to his room to ensure he’d avoid running into anyone, determined to keep the true state of his predicament disclosed until it became an actual problem.

But that also meant twice the amount of walking and it would be an understatement to say that he was merely out of breath when he finally got back.

“Dios... mío...”

It was indeed a rough and long, long night.

He got up to refill the teapot twice and isn’t sure the cream ever performed any miracles, his chest just as tight when his morning alarms started going off as it had been the day before except with sorer muscles.

It didn’t hurt to take a deep breath anymore but every task he had to perform from the moment he rolled his aching body out of bed until he was due at the training deck left him panting.

That’s how Coran found him on the bench of the training room. Breathing too heavy amidst his urgent guzzling of a water pouch to quell the need to cough from the effort of getting himself there.

“How are the capillaries today, lad?”

He finished the pouch with an enthusiastic ‘ah’ and held up his hands as if to convey that he was innocent. Coran studied his hands like they were coated in evidence anyway.

“I am superb Coran, thanks for asking. How are you?”

“That was not the question that—“

“D’ya ever end up getting that air vent fixed?”

“Lance—“

“Alright, everybody! Come to the center for one moment while I go over a few things...”

“Sorry Coran, catch ya later I guess!”

He jogged to the center of the floor where the others were gathering without a second glance and prayed that Coran gave up and left soon.

They were starting with what they usually did at the garrison. A mile warmup run which translated into several agonizing laps around the training deck.

Lance was a strong distance runner despite the occasional limitations from his stupid lungs, but Keith was not. Much like his personality he was best at being quick and rash and not particularly apt at rationing his energy or knowing how to pace himself.

So of course he took off at a dead sprint as soon as they started. Lance eased himself into the intense pace by hovering at his heels for the first lap with Shiro trailing behind them at a slightly slower but steadier pace.

It wasn’t that Lance couldn’t handle a 1600 meter sprint. He’d ran track at the Garrison and was more than experienced in sprinting middle distances, but his lungs weren’t quite as down for that type of workout at that moment.

They were tighter than ever and he could feel the mucus building up with each stride, slowly but surely coating the inner lining of every single pissed off airway.

The only comfort he found was that the mile seemed to be tough on everyone. It wasn’t like they’d had a terrible amount of cardio practice during their sojourn in the cosmos when their main mode of transport aside from the castleship were massive mechanical lions capable of moving a hell of a lot faster than any human could.

Hunk and Pidge stuck together in the beginning but as soon they passed the first mile Pidge started hanging back, Hunk following suit not long after.

Shiro was doing fine and stayed in the middle of the group to keep an eye on everyone, he gaze trained mostly on Lance as he looked for signs of distress.

But he and Keith seemed to be holding up well. They were maintaining each other’s speed for the first couple of laps, stealing taunting glances at one another every once in a while and taking turns pulling slightly ahead, neither willing to cave until they came up on the halfway mark.

Keith seemed to be fatiguing and let up. Lance dropped back to match him because there was no use in exerting anymore unnecessary strain than he already was.

The ache in his chest was making it hard to get enough air in, but he continued to ignore it, switching to breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth to try and get into a good rhythm again.

He’d run feeling worse a handful of times, still he figured he should play it safe and slowed his pace even more, hoping Keith would follow.

But he didn’t. He kept at the speed he’d readjusted to and didn’t appear to have any intentions of giving it up. Lance considered catching back up but the ache in his chest was smarting fiercely and he didn’t think he could handle that without a little breather.

Freaking mullet.

Shiro appeared at his side then and matched his pace, his words coming effortlessly even after the change of speed. Lance was jealous. He wished his lungs could manage that.

“If you need a break you can sit out a lap or two, this is just to see—“

“—where we’re all at, I know,” he spat hurriedly between heavy breaths.

“And I’m fine, just pacing myself.”

Shiro didn’t seem convinced in the slightest.

“Okay, but seriously take a break if you need to,” he urged before setting off after Keith.

“This... is torture... like seriously!” he could hear Hunk saying in the distance.

Lance agreed.

“I thought we’d... escaped these... now that... we’re in freaking space...”

They were close enough that Lance could drop back and stay with them for the rest of the run, but his pride wasn’t that easily squashed and wouldn’t allow him to abandon his death wish.

“Apparently not,” Pidge huffed breathlessly.

He was one of the better runners of the group, his lean legs were made for it, and yet here he was almost at the back of the pack.

Hunk had too much bulk to move nimbly, but he could hold his own on distance circuits and even used to join Lance for the occasional workout at the Garrison’s indoor track.

Pidge was no slouch either when it came to running considering how one of the only things they had in common back at the Garrison was their affinity for cross country.

But he shouldn’t be this far behind. Not when this was one of the things he was irrefutably good at. It was something that came natural, something he didn’t have to work to excel in, just to get better and keep shaving down times.

And if he couldn’t handle a simple warm up run at his normal caliber when his lungs felt shitty, how was he supposed to trust himself in battle when they acted up? There aren’t any ‘breathers’ in war.

It’s this fear that makes his legs pump harder, the distance between Shiro and Keith’s boots getting smaller and smaller with each harsh pant. His lungs protested the pace but there was only one straightaway left after they finished this lap. He could do that. He had to.

He came up on Keith’s right without any warning, the other boy startled at his sudden presence, but Lance didn’t look up from the ground to catch if there was any warning in his expression too. He could feel the glare of disapproval he was getting from Shiro without even having to look.

The spreading tightness in his chest seemed to burn as more of a tender ache as he pushed well past the previous day’s height of inflammation quelled only partially by Pidge’s tea kettle. Stopping or slowing wasn’t on his radar. And he couldn’t see the difference one lap would make anyway.

Lance vaguely heard footsteps trying to catch up as he surpassed them but soon the only sounds he could make sense of were his own grating breaths.

He couldn’t tell if he’d put much distance between them in the end or if either had closed what he did manage, just that he couldn’t feel his legs once he was finished.

It took a couple extra strides to slow down and come back to the world. And when he did it wasn’t even on his own accord but from the shock of Shiro’s hand squeezing his shoulder as he stood hunched over his knees, his gaping breaths apparently audible enough to cause concern.

“You okay? Saw you holding up pretty well with Keith before, but you pushed yourself there at the end when it really wasn’t necessary. I told you, this is just to see—“

“I know... I know... m’good, I just need some water.”

His throat was hoarse and gravelly and trying to sound as normal as possible despite the whistle rattling in his chest every time he spoke sapped too much of his energy.

“Alright. I’m trusting you tell me as soon as you feel crappy, don’t make me regret it.”

The sincerity in Shiro’s expression made Lance’s heart lurch nearly out of his chest with guilt when he met his grey pinpoints and nodded earnestly, turning away quickly before his burning cheeks gave him away.

His legs were starting to feel even lighter as he made his way over to the others who were already sitting around the cooler of water pouches.

Hunk and Pidge were sprawled out on their backs looking just as spent as Lance felt while Keith seemed to have barely even broken a sweat.

He lowered himself against the wall stiffly, the sore muscles in his back and sides twinging as they were pulled on. There must’ve been some sort of sound that accompanied the discomfort he was in that had Keith glancing his way with a frown, but he didn’t inquire further of which Lance was very grateful for because he doubted he had enough energy to handle another interrogation.

Silently ascertaining that he direly needed water and wasn’t going to get it on his own, Keith tossed a water pouch his way and Lance thanked him with a tight smile.

It took his shaking hands a few extra pokes to get the straw through but once he did he started sipping greedily. The water was cold and soothed his burning throat, but the more he sucked down the more he realized how desperately he needed to cough.

“Great job everyone, take the next couple of minutes to stretch and work on finishing a pouch before we move on to strength. We’ll be heading over to the pool after for a short cool down...”

Well shit. Lance wasn’t sure why it completely skipped his mind that the entire training session was a fitness assessment. Or that there’d be more than just the run.

He was certain his chest was rattling audibly as he fought the literal band slowly but surely wrapping itself around his lungs, struggling to both catch his breath and hide his tremors as he held in the explosive coughs his chest was desperate to produce.

The ache was burning more by the minute and progress in slowing his breathing from the run was increasingly harder to come by when every inhale spurred a spasming exhale that couldn’t be held long enough with the need for air so overwhelming.

But it was nothing he couldn’t handle. It was nothing he hadn’t experienced before and come back from without rescue medicine.

The swimming portion would be a challenge but the strength test wouldn’t be that taxing if he took it slow and steady. He would just have to actually take it easy, once again resolving he was absolutely fine to continue.

It was surprisingly not long until he discovered that he was very very wrong.

Keith was the second to bail during the push ups they started with, muttering something about wanting to save his arms so he could kill Lance in the swim as he joined Pidge who’d stopped after she hit the Garrison’s minimum requirement of fifteen.

Lance dropped to his chest not long after and took a moment to try and breathe before dragging himself back over to the water cooler, Hunk and Shiro still going strong behind him and none the wiser of the intense crackle reverberating in his chest.

He plopped down next to Keith with a grunt, figuring that of all the people likely to fuss over him and the sounds that his lungs were making, he wouldn’t be one of them.

He was wrong. Again.

“Maybe slow down on the water, don’t want to make yourself sick...” Keith warned with a cautionary scowl as he sipped from his pouch only a little at a time.

“Right,” Lance all but croaked in response when his pouch emptied, his voice cracking with a whistle beneath even his words now.

His face heated immediately and he closed his eyes as if to pray that it wasn’t noticed.

It was.

“You doing okay...? These are just drills you know, you don’t have to push so hard if it’s making your—“

“This is normal, my lungs just suck. We knew this already.”

His breaths were sounding closer to wheezes each time he spoke, the actual words doing little to convince Keith they were true.

“Lance, I’m serious... hey! Don’t wave me off, you don’t sound good... and you look like you’re overheating.”

He only shook his head and made to get up despite Keith’s protests.

That was it. He was just hot and needed to cool off before it made his breathing an actual issue, nothing a cold towel on the neck couldn’t fix.

“Gonna go to the bathroom...”

But his chest tightened painfully when he rose to his feet and had him leaning over on his knees to wheeze sheepishly as the organs spasmed from the movement, effectively blocking any air from coming in until the muscles relaxed.

And by relax that is to stop actively contracting because they hadn’t been relaxed in over twenty-four hours and wouldn’t be anytime soon.

“Nope, this isn’t normal—Shiro!” Keith called as he moved closer to tug his friend’s arm and try and get him to sit back down.

“Asshole...” Lance muttered with another crackling cough.

“Yep.”

Keith took advantage of his pause to pull on him again and by then Lance’s body was too deprived of oxygen to keep up any protest so he hardly had to yank to have him sinking against the wall in a heap.

“We knew that already though,” he reminded with a smirk and turned to Shiro who was sitting back on his heels next to Hunk who was still at it with another round of push ups.

“What’s up, Keith—wait, what’s wrong?!”

The tightness in Lance’s chest was throbbing incessantly now, effectively dampening his ability to properly take in air and not just to expell it.

Nope! This is as far as this is going to get.

He shrugged Keith’s hand off of his arm as he drew his knees up to his chest and set his legs wide, resting his head between them to work through the strain.

It theoretically wouldn’t be impossible to calm his already decently inflamed airways before it got to a point where he would have needed to use his inhaler. He just had to chill out and not try and subdue the crackling wheezes.

So he took long, calculated inhales breathing from his belly and ignoring the growing lump in his throat.

Just relax, you’re literally fine.

He could hear Pidge muttering something as she scurried around to his other side, her small hand falling to his elbow.

Keith was filling Shiro in as he strode over and Lance made a mental note to smack him the next time he could spare the energy for throwing him under the bus so quickly.

“Damn it, Lance. I told you to take it easy, where’s your inhaler?”

Shiro was kneeling in front of him now, his voice pinched with worry.

Lance refused to lift his head up from where it rested on his knees. Both because the position opened up his lungs and because he didn’t think he could withstand the severity of the glare that would meet him if he did.

“Don’t need it...” he wheezed, “m’fine.”

The thumbs up he summoned from his position between his legs as he focused on deep, calm breaths didn’t seem to add as much validity to his claim as he thought it would.

“Uhm, you don’t look fine,” Shiro countered.

“You don’t sound fine either—“ Keith added.

“—kinda sound like a squeaky toy, ya know?” Pidge chimed in just as Hunk realized what was up and started making his way over.

“Like the ones you squeeze and when you let go they—“

“We know what you mean, Pidge,” Hunk interrupted and shook his head, bending down to Lance’s level and laying a gentle hand on his back.

Lance tried to respond with his own quip along the ‘I’m fine, so everyone just shut up’ variety but all that he could muster was a crackling squeak as he struggled against a raucous hack that had him choking on the mucus blocking his rapidly swelling airways.

“Don’t talk, you’re good,” Pidge shushed, her tiny hand squeezing his arm sympathetically.

“Yeah, just focus on breathing for now,” Shiro urged, the vein in his forehead that only appeared when he was disproportionately worried bulging as he did.

“Dude where’s your inhaler, why aren’t you using it?”

He finally lifted his head to shake it and meet Hunk with desperate eyes but no further explanation.

“What does that mean?” Shiro inquired, voice just as level as before but firmer now as the severity of Lance’s predicament began to unveil itself.

He tried to speak again but when nothing more than a strangled rasp left his lips, he shot another pleading look at the people hovering over him.

Ugh, this is not happening.

The worry in all of their faces jumped a few notches at the way his face twinged and his hand flew up to rub at his sternum.

“Is it on you?”

He shook his head again, the corners of his eyes beginning to brim with tears.

“Then it’s in your room?”

The lack of air was starting to make him dizzy.

“What do you mean no...?”

The surface tension of the tears pooling in is eyes was really being put to the test when he just kept shaking his head, chest feeling heavy with mucus as it continued to fill with everything other than what he needed it to.

“It’s alright, we’ll find it. Hunk do you think you’d know where to look? Okay, Keith go with him and run it back. Pidge why don’t you go find Coran and let him know we may need some assistance here...”

The heat in Lance’s chest was agonizing now. He swore he could feel every minuscule capillary slowly swelling shut. Each individual bronchial tube dilating as the walls secreted a thick layer of freaking phlegm that only hindered his ability to breathe further.

Stupid respiratory response system, stupid inadequate lungs, stupid ship with its desert air, stupid space that doesn’t have an endless supply of ventolin—

“Hey, you gotta try and calm down. They’ll find your inhaler and you’ll feel better in no time...” Shiro attempted to soothe as everyone raced to carry out their assignment.

He looked utterly anguished as Lance searched for something that would soothe the fire in his chest. His hand was firm on his shoulder and his voice was measured and sure. So he wasn’t able to understand why his ministrations weren’t putting him at ease.

Lance’s mouth hung agape, his hands clawing at the collar of his cotton workout shirt like it would release the inexorable pressure that was suffocating him.

But relief wasn’t anywhere to be found. And he knew that. The knowledge didn’t stop him from panicking though.

He wished he could talk. He wished his throat didn’t feel like it was closing with how clenched up everything was. Wished he could explain and speed up the process so they could help him sooner.

But there was no way to tell his friends how fucked he was, the literal only thing he could do was try and calm down a little.

And so he closed his eyes and tried to force deeper breaths despite the cinch around his lungs because Shiro had asked him to, because he’d need as much air as he could get anyway he could get it.

“That’s it...”

He tried even though it burned and even though without his inhaler it wouldn’t make that much of a difference.

“I know it hurts but keep going...”

Everything was starting to get blurry around the edges.

“In... and out...”

He wasn’t sure if it was from the tears or because he was about to lose consciousness from asphyxiation.

“Another... come on, you’ve got it...”

But he fought the tightening cord anyway and forcibly inflated his stupidly inferior organs.

“They’ll be back any second...”

He did it to put Shiro at ease more than anything because he was now desperately wishing that he passed out soon, the fear starting to lace into Shiro’s affirmations almost more oppressive than his inflamed airways as they sealed shut.

“Just hang on a little longer...”

[andithiel]

I've been feeling a bit detatched from my writing lately, but I wanted to do something for Harry's birthday. So I managed to get out 2k of, I think maybe fluff? Many thanks to @booktopusmunro for the speedy beta and encouragement ❤️ Happy birthday Harry! Sidenote: Sega Mega Drive was called Sega Genesis in the US. This fic is loosely based on a scene from the Friends episode “The One Where Rachel Finds Out”.

Start Level

“Everybody! Hey, everybody, settle down! It’s time for Harry to open his presents!”

Ron’s sonoroused voice made Harry wince as he sat cross-legged in his favourite squishy armchair. A belly full of birthday cake and the comfort of  his friends surrounding him made Harry sleepy; but as he watched them all scramble to get seated as close to him as possible, a warmth rose in his chest. Ron had, of course, already sat down on the sofa closest to Harry before he made the announcement, but at Harry’s single raised eyebrow he shrugged with a crooked grin.

Harry snorted. He knew that with five older brothers, it was inevitable that Ron knew how to get to the front first. He looked around the room, trying not to tear up at the sight of all his friends gathered around, sitting on each other’s laps or perched on tables and armrests, all looking expectedly at him.

“Oh dear, what’s wrong with him?” Pansy stage-whispered to Hermione.

“Nothing,” said Harry, to let Hermione off the hook. “I’m just happy to get to spend my birthday with the people I love.”

Well, all except one, he thought. Draco hadn’t been able to get out of his work shift, and Harry refused to admit how disappointed he’d been when he’d found out about that, because it wasn’t reasonable for him to be. It wasn’t as if he expected Draco to be around all the time now just because they were sort of friends, or at least hung out in the same friend circles. But still, it wasn’t every day you turned 25 and wanted to celebrate with the people you cared most about.

Harry accepted the gift that Ron handed to him with a smile and a “Happy birthday, mate.” He tore the wrappings off to reveal a set of Wizards Chess. At Harry’s puzzled expression Ron explained. “Well, since you lost your old set I thought I’d give you a new one so we can play again!”

“Right,” Harry said with a tight smile, not mentioning that he knew damn well where his old set was (buried deep in a box in his attic because he was sick of losing to Ron all the time). “Thanks,” he managed to grind out, hoping it sounded sincere.

The rest under the cut or on ao3

“Maybe this one will be more useful,” said Blaise, as he handed Harry a thick, heavy parcel.

“Thanks Blaise!” Harry turned the package in his hands. “Hmmm, it feels like a book. Pretty sure it’s a book.” He unwrapped it. “And it’s a book! It’s— oh.”

“What, Harry?” Luna straightened up a bit to try and get a look.

“Um, nothing,” said Harry, trying to hide the Kama Sutra for Beginners behind his back. “Nothing, it’s, uh, I’ll have a closer look at this later.”

Blaise smirked and Harry whipped his head around to the stack of gifts next to him, wanting to occupy his mind with something other than the writhing bodies on the cover of the book currently taking up all the space in his head. “Who’s this from?” He picked up a big box wrapped in black paper with little golden snitches on it and a big golden bow on top.

“Oh that’s Draco’s,” said Pansy. “I promised I’d give it to you since he couldn’t make it today.”

“Right, right. Thanks Pansy,” Harry mumbled as he carefully peeled the tape from the paper, both so he wouldn’t tear it and so he could busy himself with the task instead of thinking about how Draco was holed up in St Mungo’s on Harry’s birthday.

He finally managed to get all the tape off and unwrapped the gift slowly. The sight of the box made him let out a gush of air, unable to believe that this was really real. Had Draco actually bought him—?

“What is it, Harry?” asked Hermione, trying to lean in closer to see what was in the box.

“I can’t—” Harry began, before swallowing and starting over. “I can’t believe he remembered.”

“What? What is it?” came a collective query from the group, everyone edging closer now.

Carefully, Harry opened the box to see if the content really matched the exterior, and when he’d made sure it really did, he had to pause again to blink repeatedly against the sting in his eyes. Then he picked up the black plastic box, twisting it in his hands. The room was silent, probably because few of them knew what this was.

“It’s a Muggle video game,” Harry tried to explain. “It’s… It must’ve been weeks ago, months maybe. We passed a Muggle second-hand store and I saw this and I… I made some throwaway comment about how Dudley used to have one of these but I was never allowed to play.” He stroked his thumb over the white letters forming the words “Mega Drive SEGA”, while memories of how he’d desperately wanted to play resurfaced in his mind. This console, like so many others before and after it, had not lasted long in the Dursley household. Before Harry had had any chance at trying it out, Dudley had stomped on it after the umpteenth attempt of getting past Dr. Eggman in the Oil Ocean Zone.

“Oh,” said Hermione softly in his ear, making him realise how close she was. “I remember these! Never had one myself but I sometimes played on my friend’s.”

Harry couldn’t stop staring. It wasn’t an extravagant gift, money-wise, but the thoughtfulness and the effort it must have taken Draco to find this for him was astounding. The game was almost mint condition. Draco must’ve gone back to the store to get a better look, and then found it in another store, because the one they’d seen had been old and battered. The gift made something stir in Harry, something he hadn’t allowed himself to think about before, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for even now.

“Oh, come on, remember when Draco went to Healer school and he fell in love with Keith Hendricks and bought him that ridiculously expensive non-spatter cauldron?” Ron chortled on Harry’s other side.

The room fell quiet and it took a few seconds for Ron’s words to process in Harry’s brain. He snapped his eyes up, looking sharply at Ron, whose ears had gone bright red.

“What did you just say?”

Ron’s eyes went wide and he gave Pansy, who was staring at him with a thunderous expression, a panicked look. “Uh…” said Ron, then cleared his throat several times while shrinking into the sofa. “Er… huh… ummm, non-spatter cauldron?”

“No. No, no,” said Harry, trying to wrap his head around Ron’s words. “The um, the ‘love’ part?”

Ron was now spluttering, frantically looking around the room for any sort of help from someone, and that was enough for the truth to register in Harry’s brain.

“Oh. My. God,” was all he managed to get out.

“Oh, noooo nononononono,” Ron chanted, rubbing his temples. “Noooo, I’m such a lousy friend!”

“I cannot believe this is the first time I hear about this!” Pansy snapped. “And to think that Draco confided in you, of all people!”

Ron straightened up and threw her a sharp look. “Hey! The ferret and I have a very trusting and mature friendship!”

“Yes, clearly he did the right thing trusting you with this information!” Pansy said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Well it’s not like I’ve told anyone else! I’ve even kept it from my own wife!”

“Oh, bravo, Weasel, ten points to Gryffindor.” Pansy inclined her head in Ron’s direction and clapped her hands in mock applause. “And then you chose this moment to spill the beans, very clever. I’ll have you know that I’ve kept it a secret that he had a crush on Potter back at Hogw—” she said, but interrupted herself. “Er, nevermind.”

Harry felt like he was watching a ping pong match, his mind reeling at all this information. Draco’d had a crush on him at Hogwarts? And now he was in love with him?

“Aha!” Ron shouted triumphantly. “Who’s the bad friend now?”

“Can the two of you shut the fuck up?!” Harry said, surprised at his own words and the force behind them. “I need to think.”

“Yes! Yes, give the poor man some space to think!” Ron hastily said, his expression amix of relieved and frantic.

But before Harry had time to properly panic, the door opened.

“Well, I had to bribe Healer Merriweather by taking all her night shifts for a month, but at least I managed to get here,” said Draco as he stepped inside, impeccably dressed as ever. “Please tell me I haven’t missed the cake.” He paused in front of the doorway, looking around the room, all eyes turned on him. “What? What happened? Is there something on my shirt?” He started patting himself all over, looking for a non-existing stain.

Harry could only stare at him, at the way his hair fell into his eyes and how he had to constantly flick his head to keep it away. The flush on his cheeks from apparently having rushed from the hospital, just to be able to celebrate Harry’s birthday because he knew how important it was to him. Or maybe because he’d seen how disappointed Harry’d been when Draco’d told him he wouldn’t be able to make it and now he‘d wanted to make it up to him. The care with which he had selected a present for Harry just to make him happy. There was a swooping sensation in Harry’s stomach, and suddenly his mouth started speaking before he could stop himself.

“You’re in love with me?”

Draco froze, his eyes widening comically before flitting around the room to finally land on Ron, who seemed to try to make himself a permanent part of Harry’s sofa. After a split second, Draco leaned back into the hallway, not meeting Harry’s eyes once. “Wait, what’s that? Oh, no! I see Head Healer Patel’s patronus, oh this can’t be good, I really must be off.”

He turned around and bolted for the door, but with the reflexes of a seeker, Harry apparated into the hallway, right in front of the stairs.

“You’re in love with me,” he repeated, more like a statement now, or maybe a confirmation to himself.

Draco folded his arms across his chest, lifting his chin. “I have no idea what gave you that impression, Potter, but—”

“Ron told me. Or, well, to be fair he accidentally let it slip.”

“Weasel,” Draco hissed. “I should’ve known it was unwise to get drunk with him. That red-headed buffoon act is a great cover to trick people into trusting him with—”

He didn’t get any further, because right then, Harry decided that he needed to do what he did best: use his gut. And his gut told him that he was pants with words, especially compared to Draco. And he wanted to make Draco stop talking, so he did the first thing that came to mind. He stepped closer and pressed his lips to Draco’s. It was probably the most chaste kiss he’d ever experienced, and yet it gave his stomach that funny swooping feeling again. Draco made a funny sound, like a mix of a squeak and a sharp inhale, and Harry realised that maybe this wasn’t what Draco wanted and started to pull back. But then he was thoroughly proven wrong when Draco grabbed him by the collar and pushed him backwards until they hit the opposite wall. Harry gasped when his head thumped against it, and then again when Draco opened his mouth and really kissed him, hands still fisted in Harry’s shirt.

It was the kind of kiss that, had they not been in Harry’s hallway, it would’ve led to other things. Harry’s body responded immediately, and he desperately wanted more. But their frantic snogging came to an abrupt halt when they suddenly realised they weren’t alone anymore.

“Oh,” someone said softly, and Harry didn’t need to look to know it was Luna.

Then someone (who sounded a lot like Pansy) shouted “What?” and there was the unmistakable sound of all their friends rushing to get to Harry’s front door first, then someone else (definitely Ron) yelled, “I don't need to see that!”

Harry kept his gaze firmly on Draco, cheeks gone pink and lips wonderfully kiss-swollen.

“Let’s go to your place, yeah?”

Draco nodded, eyes bright, his bottom lip disappearing between his teeth. Harry couldn’t wait to suck it into his mouth again.

“Right, hang on for one second,” Harry said, fishing out his wand from his pocket. “Accio Draco’s present!” With a spark of satisfaction he heard Blaise mutter “Ow!” when the box undoubtedly smacked into his head as it zoomed towards Harry’s outstretched hand.

But just as he was about to catch it, Draco cast a Depulso, making the game fly towards Luna, who caught it with an expression of curiosity as she twisted it in her hands.

“I’m very happy that you like your present so much, but trust me, Harry,” Draco murmured into his ear, “there won’t be time for any video games when I get you alone.”

[thesibfiles]

Courtney going on tour right after?

Theres a misconception that after Kurts death, Courtney went straight on tour right away. This is false. The album was already set to release a few days after and they couldnt change that on such a short notice. Promotion for the album was cancelled and she pushed back the tour 4 months.

“Live Through This was supposed to provide Love an opportunity to step out from her famous husband’s shadow. “It’s annoying now, and it’s been annoying for nine years, Love said in a 1999 Jane Magazine interview of always being connected to Cobain. Released four days after Cobain’s body was found, the album’s promotion was put on hold. Rather than retreat from the public eye, Love openly mourned and helped fans of Cobain and Nirvana make sense of the singer’s death. She sat with grieving teenagers gathered outside the couple’s Seattle home and recorded a reading of parts of his suicide note that was played at the singer’s memorial that gathered near the Space Needle. In the days following his death, Love showed a very raw and emotional side and admitted that, like many fans, she didn’t have all the answers. 

It was, and still is, impossible for people to discuss Live Through This without noting the irony of the album’s title. Love has said the name was not a prediction at all, but instead a reflection of all she had endured in the months leading up to its release, including a very public custody fight with the Los Angeles Department of Family Services over daughter Frances Bean. Rumors suggested that Cobain had written much of Live Through This (it’s Miss World, not Mister, just FYI). “I’d be proud as hell to say that he wrote something on it, but I wouldn’t let him. It was too Yoko for me. It’s like, ‘No fucking way, man! I’ve got a good band, I don’t fucking need your help,’” was Love’s response to critics in Spin’s oral history of Live Through This. Love and Cobain often shared notebooks and lyrics with each other, and while there is talk of Cobain’s influence on Love’s work, or the writing of all of it, less is mentioned in the press of her impact on his lyrics and music. Rather than sucking all the life out of Nirvana or threatening the success of the band, like many assumed she would do, she inspired Cobain. Fun fact: In Utero, Nirvana’s last album, was named after a line from one of Love’s poems.

Sadly, songwriting rumors would be replaced by other rumors. Women are often vilified and condemned for the deaths of their male partners. Love, like all women, was supposed to save her partner from death and addiction. Fans of Cobain projected all their anger and resentment over the loss of the Nirvana front man onto Love, and soon she was blamed for not only his addiction but also his death. There are even two movies devoted to the theory that Courtney killed Kurt: the awful Soaked in Bleach (2015) and the equally awful Kurt & Courtney (1998). If you think we’ve come a long way, baby, sadly we haven’t. 

One year after Anthony Bourdain’s death, Asia Argento is still being blamed, and in September 2018, Ariana Grande had to take a break from social media after fans blamed her for the death of her ex Mac Miller. A few months later, she would be blamed for new beau Pete Davidson’s mental health and addiction issues. It’s amazing she finds the time to write hit songs what with all the dude destruction she has going on. When women are not being blamed for the deaths of the men in their lives, they are being attacked for not grieving properly. “She wasn’t crying. She’s got $30 million coming to her. Do you blame her for being so cool?” a hospital staffer said of Yoko Ono following John Lennon’s murder in 1980. 

About four months after Cobain’s death, Love went on tour to promote her new album. Some questioned and judged why she would go on tour so soon, but Love has said it was a necessity. She had a young daughter to support. She needed to work. She also, sadly, still needed to prove herself. “I would like to think that I’m not getting the sympathy vote, and the only way to do that is to prove that what I’ve got is real,” Love told Rolling Stone in 1994.

Twenty-five years later, Cobain’s death still hangs over Live Through This. In the days leading up to the anniversary of Cobain’s death, former Hole bassist Melissa Auf der Maur wrote an open letter to music magazine Kerrang saying she “would not stand for Kurt’s death overshadowing the life and work of the women he left behind this year.”

“We were extremely well designed for each other,” Love has said of her relationship with Cobain. In a letter reprinted in Dirty Blonde: The Diaries of Courtney Love, she calls him “my everything. the top half on my fraction.” The two had similar upbringings, both came from broken homes and spent childhoods shuttling between relatives and friends. They both grew up longing for love and acceptance. When we tell the story of Kurt and Courtney we talk about drugs and destruction, but we don’t talk enough about love.

The two also shared an intense drive and ambition. “I didn’t want to marry a rock star, I wanted to be one,” Love said in a 1992 Sassy interview. Evidence of her drive can be found in the many notes and to-do lists she kept, some of which are collected in Dirty Blonde. There are reminders to send her acting résumé to agencies, to write three to four new songs a week, to “achieve L.A. visibility.” A scene in the documentary Kurt & Courtney features an ex of Love’s reading from one of her to-do lists, which has “become friends with Michael Stipe” as the number one task to complete (not only did Love do this, but he is her daughter’s godfather). This ambition is not surprising from a woman who, when she was younger, mailed a tape of herself singing to Neil Sedaka in hopes of getting signed. Love knew what she wanted at an early age, and what she wanted was fame.

She was certainly living by the “do not hurt yourself, destroy yourself, mangle yourself to get the football captain. Be the football captain!” motto she championed in the 1995 documentary Not Bad for a Girl. Ambition is often a dirty word when it is used to describe women and Love is no exception. She has been repeatedly described as calculating and controlling when she should be rewarded for her blond ambition and viewed as an inspiration. Critics and the press often call her a gold digger who only married Cobain for fame and money. They fail to mention that when the two met Pretty on the Inside was actually selling more copies than Bleach, Nirvana’s debut album. Even post-Kurt, Love’s intentions were always under scrutiny. On the Today Show to do press for The People vs. Larry Flynt, Love refused to talk about her past drug use, despite the host’s repeated questions, saying the topic was not an appropriate fit for the show’s demographic. She was right, but it didn’t stop a writer from describing the move as “calculating” in a 1998 Spin piece.

Cobain was ambitious too; he was just much slyer and more secretive about it. He was known to call his manager and complain when MTV didn’t play Nirvana’s videos enough, and he would correct journalists who misquoted the band’s sales figures in interviews. While success is typically celebrated and rewarded for men and it certainly was for Cobain, he also had to be mindful of the slacker generation that loved Nirvana and greeted success — and especially mainstream success —

While female celebrities like Love are criticized for their rebellion, male celebrities, like Cobain for example, are celebrated and mythologized for it. Cobain and Love both struggled with addiction, but it is Love who is repeatedly vilified for her drug use. “She was vilified for being a mess, for being a drug addict, for not being a great parent — in other words, all of the things we expect in a male rock star,” said Bust magazine in a piece in the magazine’s 20th anniversary issue, which featured Love on the cover.

We make jokes about the drug antics of male celebrities from Keith Richards to Charlie Sheen, idolizing their debauchery and depravity. The new Netflix/Lifetime movie by Jack Daniels, The Dirt, about Mötley Crüe, takes the band’s excesses to almost comic levels. Check out crazy tourmate Ozzy Osbourne snorting a line of ants by a hotel pool! Such zany antics! I would love to see Lindsay Lohan try to get away with that. We never allow women to live down their arrests and their addictions, but we repeatedly allow men to have a redemption arc. Robert Downey Jr. was in and out of jail and on and off drugs for much of the mid to late ’90s, but we rarely, if ever, talk about his past.

When Love isn’t being attacked for her addiction issues, she is being judged for her parenting. Love’s first unflattering press was “Strange Love,” the much publicized 1992 Vanity Fair profile by Lynn Hirschberg. While the piece talks at length about Love’s drug use and constantly questions her parenting ability, it doesn’t paint Cobain in the same light. “It is appalling to think that she would be taking drugs when she knew she was pregnant,” says one close friend in the piece. Hirschberg relies on many unnamed sources and focuses often on the tabloid-like aspects of Love’s life and addictions. “Courtney has a long history with drugs. She loves Percodans (‘They make me vacuum’), and has dabbled with heroin off and on since she was eighteen, once even snorting it in Room 101 of the Chelsea Hotel, where Nancy Spungen died,” she writes. “Reportedly, Kurt didn’t do much more than drink until he met Courtney.” (Even when it is reported by Kurt and Krist that Kurt tried heroin in 1989, way before Courtney, It was also known that he smoked weed and used caugh syrup to get high in 1989 and 1990.)

This double standard was common in coverage of the couple. In Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck, the 2015 documentary by Brett Morgen, Love asks her husband, “Why does everyone think you’re the good one and I’m the bad one?” Later in the film we see a scene of Frances Bean’s first haircut. The child sits on Cobain’s lap while Love searches for a comb and scissors. The camera shows Cobain nodding off, and while he maintains that he is just tired, it’s clear he’s not. The scene is painful to watch, especially because those around Cobain carry on like nothing in wrong, giving the feeling this is just like any other day in the Love-Cobain household. The scene is a reminder of how the press treated Cobain’s addiction when he was alive. They just carried on like nothing was wrong, instead directing all their judgement at Love.