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moo-nstone · 4 years ago

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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS [part 5]

— people with jupiter in the 8th may experience an “abundance” of traumatic experiences throughout life, often relating to death; these are the people who truly feel like everyone they love ends up dying. at their worst, they can become desensitized to death— jupiter is ruled by sagittarius, a sign known for being in denial when in difficult situations in favor of optimism. these natives can pretend like nothing actually happened, or minimize the situation in their head so that they don’t have to face it.

— okay this might be a weird one... like, you know in asoiaf when arya was walking through the streets and was always like “i’m as quiet as a shadow”? that’s literally the energy of someone with planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house. these people are so stealthy. they’re able to move so quietly and without anyone noticing, both literally and figuratively. on one hand, they’re very quiet about their plans and ambitions to the point where other people only find out when they’re achieving success over it; on the other hand, they just. don’t like making noise while walking idk bitch you’ll only see me coming when i’m right beside you, i even get paranoid that i’m breathing too loud and that other people will hear

— people with moon aspecting mars can be incredibly impulsive when they feel hurt or triggered. yall need to be careful with doing things in the heat of the moment that you know you’ll regret later... but in the moment, you feel so hurt that it clouds your rational side. please be more self-aware about this because you may make decisions that will directly affect you for the worse in the future

— people with leo mars ft. constantly asking you for pictures... about anything. they just wanna SEE LMFAO THEY DON’T CARE WHAT IT IS THEY’RE SEEING. you just got ready to go out? “send pics of your makeup and your full outfit”. you’re waiting in a long boring line to get the covid vaccine? “send pics of the line”. your mom baked cake? “send pics of the cake”. plus they send so many random pictures while texting, it’s their special love language

— having moon conjunct moon/venus in synastry feels insane. you tell them something you’ve been through, and they’re immediately like “that happened with me as well.” it doesn’t even have to be something grand, sometimes just very specific things you thought were particular about you. the amount of understanding that comes with this aspect in synastry can feel very new and intense especially if you’re used to seeing yourself as the “odd one out”, used to feeling isolated in your experiences

— people with pluto in the 1st house often feel the need to erase “traces” of their existence, for example deleting messages that they sent people, deleting all of their social media posts. they can feel anxious and paranoid about other people having access to their past self, even if the past self in question is from, like. a week ago

— people with chiron in the water houses (4th/8th/12th) might’ve suffered bullying to the point where they repress their memories. a lot of their memories of their school years may feel foggy if they were bullied in those years

— also. people with chiron in the 8th house may feel as though they’ve been punished for wanting to experience intimacy. it’s like, the people who were supposed to be the closest to them – for example, their sibling or something – were the ones who hurt them the most.

— people with mercury-neptune aspects and strong pisces/neptune energy in their birth chart might struggle with only remembering things when they’re right in front of them. you should keep things in your peripheral vision to remind you of reality, especially when it comes to feelings— so that you won’t start getting lost inside your own head. like... keep the letters your friends wrote you by your bedside table so you can read them every time your brain starts convincing you that you’re not loved. keep the gifts you’ve been sent on display in your bedroom wall, or sentimental material things that remind you of past happy experiences.

— earth placements and their thing for asmr... omfg. it’s like they’re always looking for things to up their sensory experience/sensitivity. like, earth signs are the ones most connected to worldly experiences so they feel so soothed with the whole asmr experience: just hearing someone gently whispering or tapping on/scratching things calms them down and helps them fall asleep. they love the tingles it’s heaven for them

— moon-saturn aspects might hold and caress themselves while they sleep because their parents never did. yes i woke up and chose violence <3 your secret is NOT safe with me 💋

— while we’re on the topic of sleeping, a majority of the pisces moons i know need to sleep while hugging something, at least a pillow. they can’t just not hug something while they sleep, it’s very instinctive for them. anyways if any pisces moon needs a pillow to hold, i volunteer as tribute 💋

— virgo placements feel sososo soothed by hearing their cats purr. thinking about how my virgo placement friends are always the ones who send me videos of them petting their cats... and then i get soothed by how soothed they feel. it’s a win win situation, if you have virgo placements it’s hereby your duty to send me a video of you petting your cat while they purr. right now. GO

— people with gemini in the 3rd house might have shaky movements of the hands when other people look at them doing things. very specific i know but the third house rules hands and gemini is a sign that has somewhat of an anxious, twitchy quality to it. on the other hand, people with capricorn in the 3rd house (scorpio risings, using whole signs) have the steadiest hands i’ve ever seen lol their movements ooze confidence, these bitches know how to make you feel as thought they know exactly what they’re doing

— people with venus in the 1st house ft. altering their pics with photoshop and hating posting selfies without filters because they never feel like their appearance is good enough. stop it. you don’t need to always look your best and especially not if your ‘best’ isn’t even what you actually look like. also... don’t even think about making self-deprecative jokes about your appearance. next time i find one of yall saying “ahaha im not bad for a 5 without talent” i’m squishing your head between 2 pieces of toast and calling you an idiot sandwich. you’re BEAUTIFUL

— having venus in the 3rd house in composite with someone? do you mean calling each other the absolute ugliest nicknames in the most endearing way?

— leo deals with themes of the ego, and it seems that leo placements often struggle with attracting narcissistic people into their life... leo suns/mercuries can be raised by loud, overbearing, narcissistic parents who see their kid as an extension of themselves and who teach the kid to always be very supportive and caring towards them or else they’ll deny them of words of affirmation-- either by insulting them to shatter their self-esteem or simply never complimenting the kid back. leo moons/mars/venus tend to attract narcissistic partners who only care about serving their own emotional needs and ignore the ones of their partner, and who feed off of their supportive and giving nature. which is why leo placements really need to watch out for being gullible, naïve and dismissing the red flags because my god, you be falling for some shady people.

— people with personal planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house might feel like they can’t let go of their past life— they may dream of memories, people or places from another life. it’s like they can’t detach from it, and even if they can’t directly remember their past life, it’s like they feel it in their bones. also, they might’ve felt... estranged from their family ever since childhood; there may have been feelings of being unable to emotionally connect to their (often, distant) parents, and they might’ve even wondered if they were adopted because of how different they felt to the rest of the family.

— okay so, a thing that people with saturn in the 3rd house need to look out for is mentally checking out of conversations while they’re still happening. these people can detect when they’re being manipulated really fast and their way of dealing with it can be to immediately shut down, to grow cold and silent and not even bother answering when you’re expected to respond. and, like, that’s great when someone starts screaming at you or being insulting/trying to coerce you into shit, but take notice if you find yourself shutting your loved ones out as soon as they say anything that triggers you. don’t simply detach from them, communicate what’s wrong

— aries placements, ESPECIALLY aries suns and moons, value generosity so much and they get so turned off by stingy ppl who don’t share with others, especially when others need it. like.. if you’re hanging out in a group with them and someone asks for a bite of your food because they have no money and you say no... espect them to never respect you. ever.

— people with libra placements use soooo many adjectives to describe things. something can’t just be beautiful, it has to be DIVINE and CELESTIAL and INTOXICATING. they can be so expressive god it’s so fcking funny

— capricorn placements HATE asking others for advice because they think no one knows better than them (and they’re not wrong, lol). when they truly care for someone, they might ask the person for advice simply as a sign that they respect, trust and value their judgement. even if they don’t plan on taking it LMFAO

— people with mars in a water sign can have this terrible habit of expecting other people to guess what they want. and then they get passive agressive when you don’t instinctively feel what it is they want... and when you ask them “do you want this?”, they go like “FINALLY. i thought you’d never get there”. stop it. i know that you want people to understand you in a way that transcends words, but you can’t expect people to read your mind and then get disappointed when they don’t, thinking “oh if they loved me that much then they would’ve known that i really want chipotle for dinner :(” GIRL WHAT. COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS

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spyoikawa · 4 years ago

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still on that saiki k brainrot so hear me out-

metori, saiki, teruhashi, aren and hairo with an s/o who really loves to bake/cook-

no thoughts just Reader learning how to make coffee jelly for saiki (like maybe they make him a tower of coffee jelly for an anniversary or his birthday-). no thoughts just Reader cooking something for metori who pretends to not want to eat it cause it’s ‘peasant food’ but ends up really enjoying their cooking. no thoughts just cooking/baking date with teruhashi. no thoughts just teaching aren how to cook/bake and having a food trade with him, bringing him lunch/a snack to school. and no thoughts just hairo hyping Reader up while they cook/bake and making stuff for him to bring to class rep meetings-

thank you! <3

the excitement I got got I saw teruhasi- i don't see a lot of writing for her and I get happy when I get to do less than common things! Thanks!

I'm running low on creative juices, so please I hope you don't mind if I use the exact scenarios you suggested 💀

Note: some of the things I wrote felt really rude so please don't mind the tone tags in parentheses, also i have not edited this yet

Saiki, Teruhasi, Hairo, Aren, and Saiko with an S/O who can cook/bake

♡romantic♡

Saiki Kusuo (italics = saiki telepathy)

Although it was undeniably tasty, your boyfriend's obsession with coffee jelly was not only getting out of hand but also quite expensive-

I mean he spent 3,000 yen for one serving-

But yanno what it's ok, coffee jelly is easy to make, and this gives you an excuse to hang out (not that you need one)

"Ok Ku, i had an idea"

I like it, just make sure you teach me how to do it too

"Rude. I wasn't finished"

You did in your head

As endearing as it could be sometimes, Saiki's mind-reading could be a pain occasionally

You wound me.

"Good. (/j)"

After a long debate over recipes and serving sizes, there it was, in all its glory, your first batches of coffee jelly

it was heaven

You did end up sharing the recipe with him, but it still became a little tradition to make the coffee jelly together

It just tastes better that way :)

Kokomi Teruhashi

In the midst of your TV and cuddles date, Kokomi huffed and turned off the TV

But of course it was rude to just turn off the TV, so she offered to play a board game instead

You did play with her, but your curiosity was begging as to why she wanted to change the activity

"Hey Kokomi, this game is fun, don't worry... but why'd you turn off the TV so suddenly?"

"Oh, it was nothing! I just thought you would like this game, and I wanted you to enjoy yourself more!"

Now, that's the answer the most perfect girl in the world would give

But Kokomi is still human, there's gotta be something wrong

You spent a while thinking to yourself about what you were watching, you two agreed on a documentary, then after the documentary, the channel played a cooking show with a guest baker/cook Makoto Teruhashi- oh.

So that was it

At the end of the round, you stood up and offered your hand to pull up Kokomi with you.

"Hey, wanna make a bet?"

She looked up with a bit of curiosity.

"I bet you, I can make your favorite dish, far better than Makoto can"

She smiled a bit, "sure!"

Her favorite food was simple, so you taught her to cook it and added in some other things just for fun (and so she can't recreate it without your secret ingredients)

Now you guys have cooking dates often and always find ways to spice up foods (and beat Makoto at whatever he was doing on tv)

Hairo Kineshi

my thoughts and prayers go to you

we all saw what happened when he tried to make crepes

but in his mind, it was a learning opportunity

You guys were taking an after-school stroll, the weather was really nice, it would be a shame if you two just went home and did nothing. Walks like these tend to get sentimental and nostalgic, so your conversation subconsciously started to drift towards school life.

"And do you remember that time we had to get kuboyasu, kaido, and nendo to play on a baseball team? Oh my god thank god it didn't go too poorly, that one player really pulled through at the end..." you laughed out

"Haha I do remember that, I can't believe we got them to play, it really could've gone worse" He smiled as he remembered that day, but then his eyes drifted up to a bakery across the road. "Speaking of poor experiences..."

after he explained to you he and kaido's crepe disaster, you couldn't help but tease fun at him for a bit

but you did agree to teach him more about cooking and baking

he's a bit too passionate about cracking eggs, but hey, at least you can work faster

after many, many burnt crepes and pans, there it was, a fallen appart, incorrectly folded, but still a properly cooked crepe sat there in all its beauty

it kinda looked like this

Although he does learn many different things with you, crepes will be the thing he makes over and over again, even when he has it down to a science, just because it's the first thing you taught him, and he will keep that sweet memory forever (get it. sweet? Cause crepes? Im funny i swear.)

Aren Kuboyasu

He actually knows how to cook pretty well

He's not really sure when he picked up cooking, its kinda just stuck around, but he enjoys it, it makes him seem more goody

and he can treat you :)

I will die on my "aren lives for the most basic/domestic activities hill"

cooking with him is always an experience, he will play music in the background, and pull you aside to dance at random times

also does that really hot thing where he stands behind you, reaches around to hold your hands, and basically has you in a cage while showing you how to do something

it's one of those spontaneous things to do, if there's nothing else to do, might as well make something to eat

firm believer in "if you have to eat to live, you might as well eat delicious foods" so he will always try out new things with you if its healthy and tasty

"bab look at this show" you called out from where you were sitting, there was a cooking show/food documentary on, and it was showing a special food. "it says this chicken has a secret sauce they dip it in"

he walked over to the tv and watched it for a couple seconds, thinking a bit.

"...wanna figure it out?"

"yes. I'll make the chicken if you figure out the sauce?"

"deal."

will you ever know if you got the secret sause? Nope, but you did figure out a chicken recipe that is good as hell

he probably writes down all the recipes you "invented" together for safekeeping and so he can return to it later, but he refuses to show it to anyone

Saiko Metori

as much as I love him, we all saw in that one episode how picky he is while eating, and is probably a bitch to please while cooking/baking

so after a lot of convincing, you got him to sit in the kitchen with you so he can watch you bake for the two of you

in reality, all you have to do is give the dish a fancy rich-sounding name, you just have to be really careful with what you say

like this 💀

you decided to bake for him today, baking is a lot more "by the book" than cooking, so you thought he would take a bit of comfort in knowing it was done in a professional way

"alright tori, so I think I'll make a heavy pastry made with fine cacao and extracts, baked into a rich dessert for a fine sweet palette"

"you're making brownies aren't you"

"🧍‍♂️"

Told you, you have to be as specific as possible

He does eventually get interested in what you're doing though, as he never really sees his personal chef cook, and wants to help you by the end

He really did enjoy it! It quickly became one of his favorite treats

But funny enough, no matter how many bakeries he tried or how many times his chef tried, they never tasted the same

(you put in special spices as your own little mark on the treat)

so he ends up having you over for more cooking dates

Which he really does enjoy btw

as a tsundere he will look all annoyed and probably call you a plebe, but these are his favorite types of dates

#saiko metori #saiko x reader #metori x reader #kuboyasu x reader #saiki x reader #teruhashi x reader #hairo x reader #saiki k hcs #kuboyasu hcs #hairo hcs #saiki hcs #saiko hcs #teruhashi hcs

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moonshroooms · 3 years ago

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Can I just say how much I’m LOVING this extra depth we’re getting for Masaya?

this is just gonna be a mess of me blurbing out kneejerk reactions and random thoughts and definitely NOT a super deep analysis you have been warned lmao

Like a lot of people I wasn’t super fond of Masaya in the originals. I don’t recall HATING him, but I was indifferent at best and annoyed at worst. He was just so very boring to me and barely in the show until the Blue Knight started appearing, if memory serves. He didn’t really have much personality besides being a Nice Boy and caring for the environment (which is hilarious that that wasn’t enough for 13 year old me cuz like. I literally wanna be a wildlife biologist jskdfjsd). We didn’t really get to know much about him until late in the series. Any little drops of personality we DID get were given and then IMMEDIATELY never touched upon again and when compared to the time we were given with Everyone’s Favorite Croptop Disaster, Masaya just had nothing going for him in the personality department

The reboot so far imo is doing WONDERFULLY with remedying that and I’m enjoying it immensely

Like him being pissed and even tearing up about Ichigo still being in the zoo after they were told to evacuate? (my guess is he looked for her after evacuating and didn’t see her in the crowd, thus fearing that she was still in there). Chef’s kiss. Wonderful. Show us the emotions! Especially with how quickly he apologized afterwards! Definitely makes sense for someone making a sudden outburst like that. And if Masaya still has that ��I felt like I HAD to be perfect at everything” backstory, it makes even more sense cuz someone who must be the Polite Golden Child constantly probably doesn’t raise their voice at people often

Also in episode 2 when he was checking in on Ichigo making sure she was okay (we’re gonna ignore the fact that he just. Seems completely unperturbed about passing out after being bodychecked by a Big Rat and waking up at home. Like gurl. Ur not gonna question that at all? Maybe we’ll get something about that later, but probably not XD) I LOVED how Masaya looked affected by taking Ichigo’s hand too! Ichigo wasn’t the only one getting a bit flustered, Masaya was a bit lost in the moment too! And after Ichigo yeets herself tf out of there Masaya looks at his hand like!! That’s right give me his reactions I’m loving it!!

I’m also digging that Masaya is Hesitant about Ichigo even! Like she DID admit that she didn’t know all that much about animals, but when inviting him to the zoo she said she wanted to learn more and proved as such while at the zoo, and it seemed like it resonated with him! I loved that!

Him admitting he was nervous about being separated from Ichigo again and just the general Anxiety he was exuding was fantastic. ESPECIALLY when Ichigo later asked in the cat cafe or w/e about him being nervous. And then they were all just staring into each other’s eyes and whatnot. Ichigo looked all blushy in typical shojo fashion, but Masaya is just. Idk he looks more like he’s staring intently, like he’s trying to figure something out. Like maybe if he SQUINTS REAL HARD while looking at her it’ll alllll become clear. It’s reading to me like a dude who’s like “I’ve literally never been interested in a single other human before and have 0 experience knowing what these emotions are or how to handle them wtFACK is it about you specifically” (which I’m so freaking giddy about cuz that’s an angle I’ve been dabbling with in the fic I’m trying to write I’m sldkfjlsdkJKSDJFS) And if that IS what’s going it just makes things even more interesting for understanding him later, if he HAS felt ostracized by the general human species and/or harbors some level of hatred for humans in general

Just. AH! I’m so excited and hoping we get to learn more about Masaya himself. I’m happy we’re getting more obvious tells that Masaya is having Emotions and is capable of being flustered with Ichigo like she is with him!

Also finally: ngl. Masaya won me over in a huge way when he explained to Ichigo about cats biting because of over-stimulation sdjfksdj. Like is anyone else also a crazy cat lady in training and that scene just stabbed straight through your heart or made you laugh?? cuz YEAH. YEAH THAT IS WHY SOME CATS RANDOMLY ATTACK YOU DURING PETS! OH MY GOSH I CAN’T EVEN SAY HOW MANY DOZENS OF PEOPLE I’VE HAD TO EXPLAIN THAT TOO. (AND JUST EXPLAINING CAT LANGUAGE IN GENERAL). And he even specified that most cats WILL communicate if they’re starting to feel rowdy, but it can be difficult for people to read sometimes, especially if you don’t know to even look for something. Like goddammit. They really made me start liking Masaya by making him understand feline body language. They fucking got me. I feel bamboozled, I’ve been had, who knew I was that easy 😩

Anyways on the off chance someone actually reads this, do y’all have any thoughts for Masaya? Anything that particularly jumped out at you these past few episodes? I’d love to hear what others think! :D

#moonspeaks #tmmn spoilers #literally this is just me rambling off thoughts and opinions lmao #masaya aoyama #tokyo mew mew new spoilers

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miraculouscontent · 4 years ago

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I know that you said that it was an one shot, but I really love the idea of marinette stay in Paris with Luka and kagami and avoid all the NY drama! If you can, can you share more of it? Even if just a few little ideas it would be great! (I love your ideas!)

(the one-shot this anon is referring to)

Aw, thank you so much!

And sure, after some thought, I did really want to write a little more with them!

—————

While throwing away their now juice-less cups, Marinette made the realization of how different things seemed with Luka and Kagami. She had already experienced hanging out with both of them separately, but she'd never imagined having both of them with her at once. It wasn't as if she'd always dismissed or despised the idea, but the only time they'd interacted as a group had been with Adrien around, which had probably soured the whole thing and thus involuntarily caused her to never think about it.

With her friends, everything was typically high-energy. Juleka and Mylene weren't very involved in creating such an atmosphere, but Marinette herself, Rose, Alya, and kept things energized. It wasn't a bad thing in general, but it made Marinette wonder if maybe surrounding herself with people who only encouraged her excitable habits wasn't a good thing.

Meanwhile, Luka and Kagami were completely different, both from her and her friends. Neither were particularly loud - though both could be when they wanted to - and they weren't really the kind to tease or mess with her either. Luka wasn't quiet in the way Juleka was, just seeming to absorb the world around him, whereas Kagami only spoke when she felt that there was something of value to say. Marinette had worried briefly that she might've been too different from the both of them, or that she'd overwhelm them due to speaking up the most, but instead, there was a sense of balance. Luka smiled or chuckled reassuringly whenever she caught herself rambling, whereas Kagami would cut in with her own views that were often direct but nevertheless good in their intentions. Perhaps her personality rubbed off on them in a way she couldn't fully understand?

Still, it was nice.

As the three were deciding what to do next, Marinette's phone suddenly went off. Marinette looked at her purse and pulled out her phone, half-expecting a text from one of her classmates about her missing the bus, but it was actually a notification about where Andre the ice cream man was.

Kagami glanced over after noticing the look on Marinette's face. "You want to get ice cream?"

Marinette frowned, Kagami's voice reminding her of the day the two of them had gone for ice cream with Adrien. She still remembered talking to Andre, hoping beyond hope that maybe the man wouldn't make them pick between the three different flavors. His words still stung a little, not because of Adrien, but because of what the words meant.

"Too many flavors mixed together may throw off the delicate balance."

It implied that one of them would always be the third wheel if they were together, no matter what, and it was a hollow feeling that she'd only recently started to accept.

"Marinette?"

Feeling a comforting hand on her shoulder, she looked over and noted Luka offering her a concerned expression. It grounded her, serving as a reminders that things were different now and that Adrien wasn't there which, in a strange way, brought her an immense sense of comfort.

"I'm fine," she assured. Turning her attention back to her phone, she deleted the notification and then made sure that she wouldn't be getting another one. "Ice cream sounds good, if you want it too, but... I think I've got a better idea than Andre's."

Luka and Kagami exchanged curious glances.

—————

"Here's to Neapolitan ice cream!" Marinette declared dramatically, raising her spoon up with flair before shoving it and the ice cream on it right into her mouth.

Luka snorted in amusement while Kagami gave an acknowledging nod, probably remembering the exact phrase from Andre that Marinette had recalled earlier.

They'd picked up the carton of ice cream on the way to Marinette's place, with Marinette insisting on paying in order to spoil them, and while they seemed confused on the specifics of her insistence, they gave in soon enough. Marinette could understand why she'd be the expected person to be comforted, but giving to others made her happy on its own and she felt they deserved it. After all, Luka had tried his hardest to catch up to the bus and Kagami was still dealing with Adrien wanting to leave for New York despite her being in Paris.

They'd ultimately decided on splitting the entire carton between the three of them, with each of them getting a majority of the one of the flavors and then the rest of that flavor going to the other two. Marinette had gone with chocolate, Kagami had gone with vanilla, and Luka had gone with strawberry. It might've seemed like a weird choice to go with since they'd just had orange juice, but it hadn't been much and it wasn't exactly a "treat."

Marinette may have considered suggesting ice skating instead if her first thought of it wasn't her slipping and bringing Luka and Kagami down to the ice with her. Ice cream was the safer alternative to "cold fun."

"Luka," she called thoughtfully, taking another bite before asking, "you're not feeling sore or anything, are you?"

He met her gaze, smiling at the concern but waving his hand dismissively. "I'm alright, Marinette. I'm used to biking around for hours because of my job, so it wasn't a big deal."

Kagami halted, spoon halfway in her mouth while her brows rose noticeably. She finished the scoop, then turned to look at Luka. "You have a job?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I deliver pizza." He grinned, clearly amused by her reaction. "Are you surprised?"

Kagami's expression didn't shift, but Marinette had known her long enough to see that she was embarrassed. "Oh, no. It's... I don't have one."

"There's nothing wrong with that." Luka shrugged. "I just have the time to do it."

"Mm." Kagami looked back at her ice cream, poking at the surface with her spoon. "I suppose it would be too difficult with my fencing lessons."

Marinette giggled sheepishly, happy to join in on the conversation. "I probably wouldn't be able to either. There's all my fashion work with my website, and then there's the unexpected babysitting, the bakery, and I'm also the class representative." She hurriedly added an, "I know it doesn't sound like much, but I'm bad at planning," when she felt that it seemed like such little things. She was Ladybug and the new guardian too, of course, but she couldn't be blurting that out, so she could only hope that it didn't seem like she was whining over nothing.

She averted her gaze, scooping up a self-conscious bite of her ice cream and shoving it into her mouth. She was partway through savoring it when she realized that neither Luka nor Kagami had responded to her. Daring a look back, she saw them staring at her with varying gazes.

Kagami seemed stunned, commenting, "That is... well, much, actually," referring to what Marinette had just tried to brush off.

Was it? Marinette had never really thought about it. In fact, she distinctly remembered back in the day where people might've thought she was just scatterbrained and didn't really do anything. Back when she was hesitant to be class representative and claimed that she was busy, Alya had asked her with a hint of snark what she was busy with, like she expected her to have a free schedule.

Even beyond her role of Ladybug at the time, she still had random babysitting to do and still frequently worked on her fashion projects. Thinking back, it stung just a little.

As Marinette glanced at Luka, she at first felt that the amount of sympathy he was directing at her was excessive, but then she remembered how she had cried in front of him to the point where he'd dropped his bike and guitar in order to comfort her. She blushed, both in shame and from the memory of him holding her so closely.

"Ah—well—it's okay!" she said hurriedly, "Anyway, forget about me! This day is about... um, this ice cream, and ice cream doesn't have problems that you should worry about!"

She nearly gave herself brainfreeze from how quickly she scooped up and ate the next bite, but figured it'd be worth it if they dropped the subject.

It wasn't worth it.

"You should be more careful," Kagami commented critically, an edge to her voice that Marinette knew wasn't meant to be anger at her. "You're my friend, so don't overwork yourself."

Marinette grinned nervously, still trying to lighten the mood. "A-are you saying it'd be alright to overwork myself if I wasn't your friend?"

Kagami's gaze didn't waver, and Marinette slowly tried to sink into her seat.

Luka set his spoon down on the bowl, then chimed in, "I don't know anything about fashion, Marinette, but if you ever need any help with anything—"

Kagami clicked her own spoon against her bowl to interrupt him, as if she felt personally slighted that he'd gotten to say it first. "We're here for you."

Luka nodded to confirm.

"Oh." Marinette blushed deeper, touched by the gesture from both of them. She thought about trying to reassure them again, but their gazes were firm and showed no room for argument, so she settled for a soft, "Thanks."

They resumed eating their ice cream from there, the topic officially concluded. Though the atmosphere felt noticeably different, Marinette was surprised to realize that it wasn't exactly in a bad way. She feared that she'd ruined the mood, but instead felt like she was supported, with Kagami and Luka looking satisfied with their choice in offering help to her.

It was like she was Ladybug, and they were the partners standing at her side, each with their own form of support. It made her smile, allowing her to happily eat away at her ice cream without thinking about anything stressful.

The idea of going to New York was suddenly very unappetizing in comparison to having ice cream with Luka and Kagami.

—————

All things considered, Ladybug wasn't concerned about telling Chat Noir that her plans had changed and she wasn't going anywhere after all. She imagined that Chat would be overjoyed and wouldn't even ask questions about it, just happy to have her back. She found his affection eyeroll-worthy, but he was still her teammate, so she just steeled herself up for whatever ramble he was about to give her.

However, as she waited near the top of the Eiffel Tower, sitting on the guardrail and looking around for Chat Noir, she realized that she couldn't even see him. Checking the time on her yoyo, she confirmed that it was indeed time for their usual patrol, but Chat Noir was completely absent. Even though it was nighttime, which made the black cat's suit blend in with the sky, he still had the blond hair and light skin that should've made him noticeable.

Ladybug got up and paced around the area a few times, constantly peeking down at the city as she wondered if maybe she just wasn't looking in the right spot. When she still saw nothing, she concluded that Chat Noir must just be running late and she'd simply have to wait a little longer. Things happened, after all, she knew that better than anyone, so she began idling on her yoyo, searching for something to keep her occupied while she waited.

They were a team. While their identities had to remain a secret, Chat Noir had always hated it and prioritized openness in their relationship, so he would've told her if something had come up. He was also active in going on patrols, always seeming eager to join her for their runs across the rooftops, and given that he didn't even know that she'd still be in Paris, patrols were even more crucial.

He never showed up.

#MC's Writing #writing: story #Lukagaminette #relationship: Kagami Tsurugi & Luka Couffaine & Marinette Dupain Cheng #other: ask and answer #category: long post #word count: over 2000 #Pro LukaMari #Lukanette

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watchmegetobsessed · 5 years ago

Text

Update - Harry Styles

i’ve been deep inmy harry feels and this thought just wouldn’t leave me alone so i had to write it. im thinking about starting a taglist for harry, i think i’ll write more about him in the future. let me know if you’d be interested in the taglist!

word count: ~5.9k

masterlist

Sequel: The best present

Harry is not that into YouTube videos, has never really been, which is kind of ironic seeing the number of videos on the internet that is about him. The man himself who makes everyone talk online feels weird seeing someone talking on his screen, looking into his soul as if they were right there with him. But today he felt the sudden urge to be like his peers and get lost in random rambling videos from strangers, who felt the need to put themselves out there.

He has made a mean cup of tea for himself, made himself comfortable on his couch with his laptop balancing on his thighs and now is opening up his browser to unwind in an unusual way. As YouTube opens in front of his tired eyes, he stops when he tries to type in the keywords he is searching for. What is he looking for really? He thinks to himself trying to remember what he heard from his friends when they talked about funny or interesting videos. One thing is for sure, he is trying to avoid watching videos of himself in any content. He has had enough of him for the day, it’s time to focus on someone else, even if he doesn’t know the person.

He scrolls through several pages of many different keywords until he settles for a video where a girl talks about how her latest moving day went. Starting off Harry feels weird listening to her talk about such personal things as where her bed went in her room, how she packed all her stuff to fit them in the boxes, but soon enough this feeling settles and he starts to realize it’s kind of relaxing.

It doesn’t take too long for him to fall down a rabbit hole and by the time his tea empties out from his cup he is intensely watching a guy rant about his boss at Subway while doing a mukbang. The latter is a new discovery for Harry, he has never heard of it before, but he can see why some people find it satisfying.

The video ends, Harry checks the time and sees that it’s already after midnight and he hasn’t even realized how fast time flew by.

“Alright, just one more,” he mumbles to himself scrolling down the column of the recommended videos until his eyes stop at one particular upload at the very bottom.

July update for my Sammy, ready the title and an eye-catchingly beautiful girl is smiling from the thumbnail. He finds her breathtaking, the lack of makeup, the worn out hoodie she is wearing and the many various plants in the background makes it appear she is sitting in the middle of the forest.

Harry finds himself clicking on the video before he could even decide consciously to watch it. The screen loads and the girl appears in front of him, this time in a much larger size.

“Hi Sammy, welcome back to our channel,” she starts with an angelic little laugh as she pulls her shoulders up to her ears as if the camera is making her shy. She has no reason to be shy, Harry thinks to himself. His second thought is about Sammy, he is one lucky guy to know this angel and have her think about him. “It’s Y/N here, your one and only sister,” she adds.

Sister. The word brings Harry relief and he is surprised to feel this way, but he has no time to think anything of it because she starts talking again.

“Here is my July update, I’m sorry I’m a little late, but we got back from Oregon yesterday. Aunt Ella is sending you kisses and hugs, she missed you at the barbeque, or maybe it was just your helping hand at the grill,” she chuckles to herself, probably recalling the memory.

Harry has no idea who Aunt Ella is or where she lives in Oregon, but the way she talks about it makes him feel like he is part of the family a little.

Y/N carries on and starts talking about everything that has happened in July. Painting the shed at her parents’ home, buying a new armchair, one her cat absolutely adores and refuses to sleep anywhere else now, she went to the hairdresser to get a trim, but not too much. She tells about her plans for August, how she is thinking about going to the farmers’ market more often, and she has been playing with the idea of adopting another cat.

“I think Henry has been feeling a little lonely lately. He could use a buddy,” she tells the camera, her eyes moving to the side from where a weak but moody meow can be heard as an answer. “Yeah, I think he agrees,” she chuckles and Harry finds himself smiling at the screen.

At the end of the video she asks a few questions from Sammy, how he has been doing, if his wrist feels any better, even asks about a friend called Matthew. Harry wonders if she has ever gotten the answers to her questions and where Sammy saw this video. What is he doing that made her want to do an update on YouTube?

When the video ends Harry clicks on her profile faster than he would willingly admit to anyone and it’s like he opened the gate to paradise. Tens and maybe hundreds of videos are queuing on her page, monthly updates, birthday wishes, short story times about family gatherings, news and happenings in her life.

Harry gets lost in her tales. He watches video after video, noticing the smallest details about her, almost mentally taking notes about her updates, finding anything and everything she talks about so interesting as if he knew those people and places she mentions. He comes to realization that Sammy is her older brother who is serving somewhere in the military. Y/N is making the videos to update him about her life even if she knows most of them doesn’t get to him until weeks later, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. He also learns that Sammy sends them back lengthy emails once a month and always ends them with a joke they made up with his mates at the army. Y/N loves them even when they're not even funny, she never fails to mention that she smiled reading them.

Hours pass by and the rising Sun peeks inside the window pulling Harry back to his own reality, shocked that he just spent the whole night watching her videos and didn’t even realize how deep he has gotten in her life. Lucky for him he has nothing planned until the afternoon, so shutting his laptop he sets it aside and heads straight to bed, but lying between his silky sheets he catches himself staring out the window, wondering what Y/N might be doing right now. From what he collected she lives somewhere in Spokane and has family in Seattle and Portland, which puts her quite a few time zones behind him. He finds the thought of them going to bed at the same time despite the distance a little funny. He lies in bed for quite some time before he finally drifts off to sleep with a particular girl on his mind, who doesn’t even know he is thinking about her.

“Do you think you can fall for someone you have never met?”

Harry’s question catches Mitch a little off-guard, but he is kind of used to his random bits of thoughts. Pouring some sugar into his coffee he follows the wondering singer to a free table in the corner.

“Isn’t it what all your fans feel?” he answers with a question, earning a surprised look from Harry. He hasn’t thought about this side, now the situation is kind of ironic, he supposes.

“Y’re right,” he nods stirring his coffee around in the small cup.

“Want to let me in on your thoughts?”

Harry feels a little shy to admit how he has watched all of her videos in the past few days, 207 to be exact and now he feels an oddly deep connection to this girl he has never even seen outside of a screen. Last night he dug up her Instagam profile, and even though she is not posting as frequently as she does on her channel, it was a refreshing change to see her in different settings. Chilling at a lake, having drinks with her friends, playing with her parents’ puppy, it amazed him that she has a whole life outside that small portion she lets him see in her videos.

Hesitantly, but he tells his friend about his latest hobby, if it’s not too weird to call it that, while his friend patiently listens and nods along his words while sipping on his morning coffee.

“D’you think I’m crazy?” Harry sighs leaning back in his seat, looking at his friend and colleague for validation that he hasn’t lost his mind entirely.

“Definitely not,” he chuckles shaking his head. “It’s like falling for that girl in school you know so much about but never really met.”

“Only that I’m stalkin’ this poor girl.”

“This is not stalking. We both know it’s far from that.” Harry nods with slight relief that his situation doesn’t seem as bad as he has been feeling lately. “Have you gotten in touch with her?”

“And what am I supposed to do? Comment on her video that I think her cat’s a cutie and I watched all her videos in three days ‘cuz I think she’s beautiful and I find her voice soothing?”

Mitch lets out a soft chuckle at the oddly specific answer he just gave and finds it amusing how interested his friend has grown about someone in such a short time.

“Maybe phrase it a little different.”

“So you do think I should reach out?”

“I don’t see why you shouldn’t. Use your personal YouTube, leave her a nice comment. Maybe she’ll reply.”

“And then what?”

“I don’t know, Harry,” he chuckles. “Just go with it and you’ll see. You are obviously interested in her, it’s better than just sit and watch her videos.”

Harry agrees. It wouldn’t hurt to try to reach out to her, possibly in a not too creepy way. Maybe just a sweet comment on one of her videos and if she replies… Well, he doesn’t know what comes after, but he’ll figure it out.

Y/N updates regularly. Usually once a week and mostly it’s Sunday when a new video gets uploaded. This next Sunday Harry finds himself checking her page occasionally through the day to see if there’s a new update, but it seems like she is missing today. Right until he is driving home and gets a notification from the app.

Y/N has just uploaded a new video! It reads and Harry’s heart beats a tad bit faster. He thinks about pulling over to see it right away, but he tells himself that would be a bit too much, so he is forced to wait until he is in the comfort of his home.

Finally sitting on his couch he opens up his laptop and clicks on the video that has the title: September update.

Y/N sits in her usual spot, Henry in her arms as she is gently stroking his head with a warm smile on her face.

“Hi Sammy! Welcome back to our channel,” she greets him with her usual words and Harry loves how she calls the channel theirs. “This is my September update, even though not much has happened,” she breathes out, eyes wandering to the window besides her and Harry wonders what she sees from her window every day. Does she live in the city? Is it an apartment or a house with a backyard? Are there any trees or does her room have a terrible view, maybe just another house next to hers?

She starts her talk about the month, which she spent mostly with working, a little shopping and meeting her friends. She tells him about her planned trip to the local shelter to see possible new kittens to add to her household and Harry feels himself growing excited about it. He even thinks about what kind of cat he can see get along well with Henry even though he has never even met him.

“Anyway, mom and dad miss you, I miss you too. I loved your joke about ducks in your latest email,” she chuckles sweetly, bringing a smile to Harry’s face as well. “Mom is excited to see you at Christmas, our cousins will come to Portland as well. Maya can’t wait to play Jenga with you, she said she’s been practicing.”

The video soon ends as Y/N tells Sammy how much she loves him and eventually turns the camera off.

He straight away moves the cursor to the beginning of the video and as she starts talking again he scrolls down to the comment section that’s entirely empty. There are only two views on her video, usually a hundred is the max, but she doesn’t seem to care about the views, it’s more about the message.

He clicks to type a comment, but his hands stop above the keyboard as he tries to think of what to write. Mitch was right about taking a chance at reaching out, but what is he supposed to write exactly? Everything that comes to his mind sounds so creepy and scary, and he knows it’s weird that he formed such a deep connection to an unknown girl online. At last he starts typing.

“Hi Y/N! I’ve stumbled across your videos the other day. Love how you keep your brother updated, it’s such a nice gesture. I hope life treats you and Sammy well, you truly deserve it. Good luck with finding a buddy for Henry! Love, an admirer of yours, H.”

He reads it back several times, deleting then retyping it again until he decides to just go with it. A rush of adrenaline washes over his body when he sends the comment and it’s officially out there. Secretly he wishes she would reply right away, but moments pass by, then moments turn into minutes and nothing happens. His comment stands there alone and he has to realize that maybe she will never even reply or even see it.

It doesn’t matter, he tells himself as he shuts the laptop down and goes on to do his things, but he finds his thoughts wander over to her from time to time.

He has a busy day ahead of him the next day, quite a few meetings and a fitting. He checks back for a reply in the morning, but it slips his mind the moment he leaves from home and his phone rings right away. Throughout the day he basically barely has time to check his emails, his other notifications are just sitting patiently on the bar, waiting for him to acknowledge them. It’s way past five in the afternoon when he finally have some time for himself after his fitting. He is sitting in his car, people walk past him without even realizing who is sitting behind the tinted windows. Scrolling down he gets rid of everything that doesn’t seem urgent until his eyes stop at one particular notification.

“Y/N replied to your comment,” he reads it out loud, just to make it real, as if he is seeing it wrong and saying it with his own mouth brings it to life. He quickly taps on it and the familiar video opens up and while Y/N starts talking again the screen jumps down to the comments where, in fact, there is a reply from her.

“Dear H! Thank you for your heartfelt comment! I always forget it’s not just my family who sees these videos, but I’m happy you found them interesting enough to watch a few of them.”

“A few?” Harry huffs to himself feeling a little ridiculous he has watched all of them.

“I hope I didn’t bore you too much. Thank you for the well wishes for me, my brother and Henry too. He is sending his love to you. Y/N xx”

The comment was posted three hours ago. The thought that she has acknowledged his existence with not only reading but also replying to his comment brings him extreme joy. He reads her words over and over again, looking for any clue that would give away that she found his comment weird, but it seems like she was more surprised and happy that someone else saw her video besides her brother. Harry starts to type his reply without hesitation.

“Bore me? You saved me from watching another “what’s in my bag” video the other day. It was a pleasant change. I love your plants, by the way. Your room always gives off the most relaxed vibes. It reminded me I should have more of them in my home. H”

Harry smiles to himself posting his comment, the fear of appearing like a stalker long gone from him, the interaction is making his inside blossom from joy. For his biggest surprise a reply appears just a few minutes away and Harry reads Y/N’s new lines with deep hunger.

“Those videos suck the life out of me every time! I might be having a problem with buying too many plants, but I can’t help myself. They truly bring peace to me just by looking at them. I’m glad you are planning on buying some more, you won’t regret it!”

Harry is dying to reply, but he doesn’t want to look too eager and needy, so he opts for just liking her comment to let her know he read it and agrees. He locks his phone and puts it aside with the widest smile on his face as he starts his car and leaves his parking spot.

Two weeks pass by. In those two weeks Y/N uploads two more videos, one about her time with her grandparents, for a change it was filmed at their home and they even said hello in it. Harry feels wholesome seeing her with her granny and grandpa, it’s clear she cares a lot about them. The other video is just a short one where she has met some of Sammy’s old high school friends and she had a check in from them, sending a sweet message to him through the video. Harry doesn’t doubt how much these little things mean to Sammy, even if he doesn’t get to see them right away. Seeing Y/N alone boosts his mood every time she uploads a new video, he can only imagine how they make Sammy feel.

He leaves comments on her videos without a second thought and she replies to all of them, a lot of the time almost immediately. These are the highlights of his days without exception. Knowing that she has anything to do with him just fascinates him and he is starting to realize what his fans feel towards him on a different level. Whenever he sees the notification that she has replied to what he wrote or that she uploaded a new video he flies right to her page to check it, no matter what he is doing. Some of their comment threads turn out pretty lengthy, almost like a chat conversation and it has Harry wonder how they could maybe move it to somewhere else from the comment section.

He wants to ask for her number, but figures it wouldn’t be the best idea. Regardless of how much he enjoys their short little conversations, the situation is still weird and complicated and he doesn’t want to forget that.

But he is pleasantly surprised when she brings it up herself, to move the conversation to somewhere else.

“Would love to discuss that more with you. Up for exchanging IG names?” her question reads and he blinks a few before he fully comprehends that she wants to talk to him more in private. However there’s no way he can send her his real Instagram profile and making a fake one would be way too suspicious. Opening up the private messages he sends her a short, but informative message.

“I don’t use Instagram, but feel free to text me,” and then his phone number.

He sits at the dinner table anxiously, waiting for his phone to light up from a new text, and just a few minutes later it finally comes.

“Hi! It’s Y/N,” he reads from the notification and he saves the number right away.

“Hello! Save me as Harry. I haven’t even told you my name yet, how rude of me!” he replies chuckling to himself.

“Will let it slip this time. Harry. What a nice name!”

“Is it what you thought about from the H?”

“It was one of my theories. The other one was Hayes, but Harry fits you better.”

“You haven’t even seen me, how do you know what name fits me?”

“I don’t know. You had a vibe. There are many great Harries in the world, you seemed to fit between them!”

Harry wonders if she is thinking about him without even knowing that… it is him. He wants to ask her, but decides not to. Instead, he is enjoying that he can now reach her immediately and not through a comment section. He never thought this would actually happen.

The texts never stop. They have so much to talk about! Their entire life to share, millions of thoughts and so much to discuss! Harry is not proud of the time he has spent with his eyes glued to his phone, but he wouldn’t miss a chance to talk to her for anything. Their friends are not blind to the change in him, but Mitch is the only one with a guess about why he has gotten so addicted to his phone.

“Is it the girl from the videos?” he asks Harry one time when they are at the studio, having lunch break. Different food boxes are scattered around them, on the table and the couch. Harry’s phone just light up from a text and he immediately dropped his lunch to type a response.

He glances up at his friend with a shy smile nodding his head. He hasn’t talked about his newly funded friendship with Y/N yet, it feels like as if he tells it to anyone it might evaporate into just a dream.

“So you reached out, huh?”

“I did,” he nods returning to his food once his message is sent. “She’s great.”

“Does she know who she is talking to?” Harry’s lack of answer tells enough about the truth to Mitch. “You can’t hide forever, especially if you are planning on meeting her.”

“I know,” he answers shortly. “But I just don’t know how I could even bring it up to her without sounding like a mad man.”

“She’ll need proof.”

“M’not ready to show m’self to her. What if it changes everything?”

“Then it wasn’t worth it,” he simply tells him.

Deep down Harry knows it’s the truth, but he is not ready to be robbed from the joy she is bringing him. He has never felt such a deep connection to anyone before and they haven’t even met. It’s just a version of her he is seeing on the screen, not her real self. But it feels real to him and he wants to keep this reality to himself for just a little longer.

“I wish I could hear your voice, Harry. You are one big mystery to me, you know that?”

He forgets to breathe for a moment as he reads her message, lying in bed one evening, getting ready to sleep, but he wanted to check in with her before ending the day.

“You know so much about me already,” he types back.

“Not enough, I feel like. Sometimes I’m afraid Nev and Max are about to show up at my door and tell me that I’ve been catfished.”

He chuckles at her words, though he completely understands her fear.

“What do you want from me then?”

“Send me a voice message so I know you are real. That would put my suspicion to sleep. For a while…”

Harry hesitates for a long time until he decides just one voice message couldn’t hurt. Just a short one where his voice is not that recognizable so his cover won’t be over immediately.

“Good night, Y/N,” he tells into his phone and then send the recording to her.

He watches the status change from delivered to read and a couple of minutes go by before she finally responds.

“Thank you. Now I know that you are real. I hope I’ll hear your voice in real life one day.”

“I hope that too.”

His time spent undercover is coming to an end and he knows it’ll happen soon. It’s been weeks since they started chatting, almost an entire month and she’s been hinting her will to see his face and though he has been putting it off, he knows it has to happen.

Fate is playing under his hands, because he is traveling to Seattle for a few days, exactly when Y/N is traveling there to visit her parents.

“I hope you know you can’t leave without meeting finally,” she wrote when she found out they are going to be in the same city.

“It never even crossed my mind!” he wrote back chuckling to himself, however it brought him extreme anxiety that he is now going to be forced to come clean about who he really is.

He spends his whole flight to Seattle making up possible outcomes for their first official meeting. Not all of them end well and it’s just fueling his fear that he might lose her for not telling her the entire truth.

But she is a smart girl, she’ll see your reasoning, he tells himself, however he can’t entirely convince himself that it will be the case.

In hopes of squeezing in more than just one meeting into the weekend they agreed to meet almost first thing after he lands. So after checking into his hotel he heads into the city to finally meet her in real life in a local café she suggested for the occasion. Arriving to the place he is running a little late and she already texted him she’ll be waiting for him inside. Harry is wearing a beanie with shades to try to keep up his cover and it seems to be working, no one has approached him yet.

Stepping inside the cozy looking place his eyes roam around and immediately finds her sitting in the corner, pouring sugar into her coffee, not even paying attention to the door at the moment, but truth is she’s been intensely staring at it in the past ten minutes she has been there.

Harry takes a deep breath and nods to himself before heading in her way, hands shaking nervously as he stops at her table.

She glances up at him with innocent eyes, a smile spreads across her face as she sees that her mysterious Harry has arrived and she doesn’t recognize her until he finally takes his sunglasses off.

Harry watches her face turn from happiness to surprise then utter shock as she realizes who is standing in front of him.

“You are… my Harry?” she asks, confusion laced through her voice and Harry can’t ignore how she called him her Harry. He likes the ring of it.

“M’orry if it’s a little too much f’you, I really didn’t know how to tell ya.”

Keeping his eyes on her he pulls out the other chair at the table and takes a seat across her while she is still staring at him with a shocked and puzzled expression sitting on her face. Then she looks around in suspicion as he wiggles his coat off his arms, before her eyes settle on him once again.

“It’s not an episode of Catfish, right?” she asks making him chuckle.

“It is not, don’t worry.”

“I’m sorry if I’m being weird, but this was literally the last thing I was expecting,” she admits leaning back in her seat. “I believed things like this only happen in movies.”

“Not just there,” he smiles, slowly relieving that she is still sitting there and hasn’t ran out. It’s going way better than he expected.

She needs a little time to put the whole picture together and befriend the thought that she indeed just developed a friendship with Harry Styles through her videos for her brother. The absurdity is still shocking to her, but the more time passes by with him still sitting there, the more she finds peace with it.

Once the shock and surprise is gone they slowly realize they are seeing each other in real life finally. Harry feels overwhelmed, she is even more breathtaking than in her videos and through texts. He is mesmerized by her whole being and could listen to her talk in person forever, he wouldn’t get bored of her.

Time stops existing as they sit at the little café, talking for hours even though that’s all they’ve been doing through texts, but they just can’t get enough of hearing each other, seeing each other’s reaction and be able to see each other and not stare at a screen while talking.

Unfortunately, time never stopped just for the two of them and soon she realizes she needs to head back home. Harry doesn’t want to let go of her just yet so he offers to give her a ride, thanking himself for getting a rental for himself upon arriving. Y/N accepts the offer so the two of them head back to her parents’ home, soaking up the last minutes of their precious time spent together.

“Thank you for today, I really loved meeting you finally,” she smiles at him once they are parked on the driveway.

“I hope I didn’t shock you too much,” he chuckles scratching his chin.

“Just a little,” she admits before they both get out of the car and walking around it she stops in front of him, after a moment of hesitation she opts for a hug that he returns more than happily.

It feels as if her frame was perfectly sculpted to fit in his embrace and Harry can’t imagine how he could go this long without even seeing her in person. He knows it’s gonna be utter misery to be away from her after they leave the city.

“Will I see you before you take off?” she asks letting go of him. Harry looks down at her, the urge to kiss her growing bigger with each passing moment, but he is not sure if it would be appropriate to give it a try on their first time meeting.

“I’m free tomorrow for a lunch,” he tells her and she nods smiling.

“Then I’m free too,” she chuckles.

There’s an awkward moment where they are not sure what else should be done or said and the more they wait the weirder it’s getting so Harry clears his throat as he takes a step back, sad that he has to leave without feeling her lips on his, but he is not trying to be too greedy.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” he smiles walking back to his car. Y/N waves after him and sitting back to behind the wheel he takes a moment to himself to collect himself after everything that has happened today. His hands curl around the wheel and he is about to start the car when someone knocks on the window. Y/N is smiling at him through the glass and he rolls it down curiously.

“I just…” she starts hesitantly, her eyes wander down to his lips and Harry knows what’s about to happen, but it still catches him by surprise.

Y/N leans in through the window and presses her lips to Harry’s, capturing them in a sweet, long awaited first kiss they both have been dreaming of for quite a while. Harry smiles into the kiss, bringing his right hand up to cup her cheeks as they stretch the moment for as long as possible. Whenever one pulls back the other brings them back for just one more kiss that turns into two more, then three… It takes a long time for them to finally let go of each other.

“See you later, H,” she smiles backing out of the car and running up to the front door, smiling wildly as she waves in his way one last time before disappearing in the house.

Lying in bed that evening Harry is scrolling through his Instagram feed when he finally realizes he can now follow her without a worry. He is quick to find her profile again and hit that follow button. He is happy to see she was already following him.

He is just about to put his phone aside and go to bed after such a busy but exciting day when a notification pops up on the screen.

Y/N has just uploaded a new video!

He taps on it quickly and her smiling face greets him from his phone’s screen.

“Hi Sammy! It’s me again. Welcome back to our channel,” she starts with a shy smile. The setting is new this time, he supposes it’s her parents’ home this time. “This is going to be a short video, but I wanted to tell you about something. Or someone.”

Harry’s heart skips a beat when he thinks about where it’s heading. He listens to her voice holding his breath.

“I met someone today. We’ve been talking for a while, but I could finally hug him today. His name is Harry, and he is a wonderful man. I think you two would get along well,” she says with a soft chuckle. “I love spending time with him and I hope he feels the same way. Actually…” Her eyes move up straight to the camera, something she doesn’t do often. She usually stares out the window or plays with Henry while talking. “I think he is watching it right now. Hi Harry!”

“Hello, Beautiful,” he greets her back with a smile as if she could hear him.

“I wanted to tell you how amazing you are making me feel. I hope I didn’t disappoint. I was so nervous to meet you today, I hope I lived up to what you imagined me to be.”

“You were so much better than that,” he answers again.

“Anyway… I hope you feel the same way. You are the first guy I’m talking about in an update, so appreciate it!” she tells him and he chuckles lightly. “I’ll see you soon, H. But until then… Know that I’m thinking about you.”

“M’thinking about you too, Angel.”

“Sammy, I miss you as always. I hope everything is well, can’t wait for your next email. I love you,” she smiles before the video ends.

Harry heads straight to the comments. This time he doesn’t leave a lengthy one, just a short line, but it has everything he wanted to tell her.

“I feel the same way.” The comment reads. Just a few seconds later comes the notification and he smiles sweetly at his phone.

Y/N liked the comment.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fluff #harry styles fiction #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry #styles #one direction #harry styles fanfictions

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midnightsconspiracy · 4 years ago

Text

Public Opinion

Public Opinion - @midnightsconspiracy

Summary: Being a public defender made you rather unpopular, especially with your new boyfriend's co-workers

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1443

Requested: Yes!!

‘This might be a bit random but I was thinking one for Mouse where the reader is like a successful, powerful lawyer and is secretly dating mouse, but when the team finds out they judge her until they meet her? Sorry if it’s too specific I’m in love with your fics.’

A/N: I am on a creative roll tonight! 4 fics in one night!!! Requests are still open

Masterlist

When you had met Mouse you knew things might be have been a little rocky, considering your jobs were notorious for hating each other, you working as a public defender and him working within the police force. But that had not stopped the both of you from entering a relationship, deciding that it didn’t bother you, both loving what you did and each other, neither wanting to compromise. You had met him at a Rangers reunion, your brother having served alongside Mouse in Afghanistan. You two had instantly hit it off, both keeping each other company, having your original partners blow you off. He had told you of his friend Jay, who he’d originally meant to have gone with, but being abandoned last minutes for his girlfriend instead. That had worked out in both of your favours, allowing you to have the time of your life, talking for hours getting buzzed whilst drinking the free drinks the event offered. After that night you had lost contact for a couple of months before he reached out asking you to go on a date. You were sceptical at first, why was he just reaching out now and not in the three months he’d had your number? But you had said yes anyway, remembering how good you had felt when you were with him.

That evening he had told you how he was meaning to call but had been going through some stuff at work that kept him from doing so. The date had bought back memories of how much you enjoyed spending time with Mouse, eventually leading to more and more dates each month, until finally, you started formally dating. Mouse was not the easiest boyfriend, having problems with his PTSD and anxiety, but that didn’t make him any less loveable in your eyes, in fact, it made him more so. It bought you both closer together, he relied on the fact that you were willing to help him, encouraging him to seek help each time he felt as though he was spiralling out of control. After six months of seeing you, he already felt as though he was a better person, he had started therapy to help deal with his trauma caused by the Rangers, going out to socialise with his friends more and was just generally happier with his daily life. The one thing he didn’t understand though is why you chose to become a public defender. You knew it was his police and military background talking, but it didn’t bother you too much knowing not many people understood why you did what you did, being a public defender, and a good one, was an extremely controversial job. Explaining to him that you liked to help the underdog, he stared at you like you were mad, as you realised he would never understand why. Once you had felt as though you trusted him enough, you decided that you wanted to meet the other important people in his life, his co-workers. You finally wanted to meet the notorious Jay Halstead, the one he had told you so much about on that faithful day. But he had been hesitant when you bought the topic up, knowing how they had reacted when he had told them originally.

The team had noticed a difference in Mouse, being much happier, even being more talkative than usual. They had questioned him extensively, wanting to get to bottom of what or who was causing Mouse to act differently. Whilst at Molly’s, he had decided to reveal all over a couple of beers, informing the team that he had met a girl a couple of months ago, and had only recently become official with her. The team had been happy at first, congratulating him on finding someone, despite his traumatic past and the consequences of that. But things had turned sour when then had pried more on who this mysterious person was. He’d told them that you were a public defender, and they might have known who you were considering you had defended some high profile criminals that they had worked on. That had changed things dramatically, all of them knowing exactly who you were, disliking you over the fact you had gotten off or lessened the sentence of people who had done awful things and they had spent a long time trying to find. Jay's reaction had been the harshest blow to Mouse, being his best friend, he just wanting the man's approval. This recent disapproval of your relationship made Mouse really question what he wanted, you or Jay? Determined that he wanted to keep both of you, he devised a plan, maybe if Jay met you, he would change his opinion on you. So he decided that he would bring you along to when they would next all meet up at the infamous bar.

Mouse had been telling you for the past week that you two were going out on Friday evening to meet his friends, so you were excited, not knowing what had happened with him and his co-workers last time they had drunk there. Getting ready, you put on a nice outfit, waiting for Mouse to be ready so you could finally leave. A few minutes past and Mouse still had not emerged from the bedroom, despite seemingly already being ready as you were getting changed. Walking into the bedroom you found him on the bed, head in his hands, silent and unwavering. Calling his name out, he looked up, giving you a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, walking towards you to plant a slight kiss on your forehead. Asking if he was ok, he shrugged it off, giving you a small ‘yes’, proceeding to walk out of the room to grab his keys and wallet. The car ride over was silent, as tension filled the air, a tension that you didn’t understand. Walking into the bar and over to the booth, Mouse introduced you nervously, bringing down your excitement a couple of notches in the process due to his strange disposition. Following your boyfriend, you greeted everyone, noticing all of the grim faces staring back at you. The first to speak up was Jay, introducing himself with an awkward smile, the table falling into silence afterwards. You knew something was off but that didn’t stop you from being your normal, kind self.

“Mouse talks very highly of you all, I especially appreciate all the work you guys do,” you said, trying to create conversation to cut the tension.

“Yeah, sure you do,” Jay sarcastically commented, verbally disagreeing with your line of work

“I know you guys don’t like the work I do, but I have a reason for it, just as you have yours for becoming police officers.” Trying to reason with them was going to be hard, having gone in a totally opposite direction career-wise to them, having a fixed outlook on your job. But you were determined, loving Mouse so much that you would fight as hard as you could to be in their good books.

“It's not the same though, we catch criminals, you release them.” Adam piped up, adding more fuel to the fire of hatred, directed towards you.

“Maybe we should leave,” Mouse said, knowing you were probably extremely uncomfortable with the situation.

“No,” you replied, wanting to stand your ground and explain yourself to these people.

“I do it because no one else is routing for the underdog, they’re thrown into the system and spit out into a life of more crime. I help them have a chance at life, a chance of justice, even if sometimes they don’t deserve it.” Raising your voice, you started getting angry, these people weren’t even giving you a chance, not only hurting yourself but also Mouse in the process.

“Ok.” Jay followed up.

“Plus you should be happy for your friend that he’s happy and found someone that he likes, not hating on me and trying to sabotage this relationship-” you exclaimed, pissed at the fact his friends would do this to him.

“I like you.” Jay butted in. Confusion bounded onto your face at the sudden expression of fondness. Why had they changed their minds so quickly? The conversation continued as normal as if that argument had never even happened, not only chatting as usual but including you in them as well. Little did you know your outburst had changed his mind completely, deciding that maybe you weren’t so bad, that your fiery self would stand up for you and Mouse no matter what, and that was just what he needed. So maybe you were good for Mouse after all.

----------

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#chicago pd #chicago pd imagines #chicago pd x reader #one chicago #greg gerwitz #greg gerwitz x reader #greg gerwitz imagines #greg mouse gerwitz

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blufox234isadumbname · 4 years ago

Text

Las Nevadas and Poker Cards theory

/rp /dsmp (all of the mentioned people are characters of the Dream SMP. not the actual content creators)

---

So this began with a random thought floating in my head about the new characters introduced to the Las Nevadas lore in Episode 3. This sparked the reawakening of my obsession with cartomancy and the meanings behind playing cards. So subsequently, I decided to associate the new four characters to the four symbols of the playing card deck

For a brief intro to playing cards, the standard 52-card deck uses the French suit - which include the diamonds, hearts, clubs and spades. Each suit/symbol includes three face cards (King, Queen and Knave) and ten numbered cards (Ace of ... to Ten of ...) The suit of cards varied throughout history before the French suit became popularised. Most of the derived meanings of the card suits themselves have mostly been very much after the creation of the suits, but I still think their symbolism is still interesting to look back into. The changes to each suit along with each varying meaning will be highlighted in individual sections. So, let’s start with:

Foolish

For the first chapter, Quackity mocks Foolish of being inferior to the tempered god he used to be. Foolish in his current state is a pacifist, a normally non-violent character who doesn’t take the offence. To Quackity, that achieves nothing, backed up by how Foolish was killed off in a selfless act and could not fight back. Quackity mocks the temple Foolish built, saying it is merely an empty shell only made to look pretty. Like Foolish, it is only impressive on the outset, but when it comes to its use it does not serve a function. The magnificent temple is merely for show, like how Foolish appears as a god of undying yet still was able to lose a life. Quackity actively tries to paint a picture of that perception to Foolish, trying to convince Foolish that such a lifestyle has not been beneficial. What Quackity offers to Foolish is a chance to make a name for himself, by doing the opposite. Quackity wants Foolish to cause destruction instead of creation. He wants Foolish to be a cannon, to take the brunt of

Clubs in the French suit have been thought to represent peasants. They are the weaker members of the society, the ones without a legacy to leave behind unlike those higher above them. This is what Quackity view Foolish as, a mere peasant who does not leave his own mark even despite being a god. When it comes to tarot readings, the clubs are seen as the wands. This particular suit tends to refer to calls to action, associated with the element of fire. They represent both aspects of creation to build and cook, and of destruction. It is symbolic of passion, where one’s motivations lie within. Meanings behind the wands deal with one’s own consciousness, what one’s own ambitions, what makes a person create action. It’s also interesting to see that Foolish in the past, brought destruction to a town with lava. So with this suit, Foolish is seen to need to take more offensive action. He needs to take the chance with Las Nevadas to create that action, to create destruction as he did before. To become more than the lowly being he is now.

Charlie

This one is trickier to pinpoint what suit he is since this is the first and currently only time we’ve seen him in the lore. In the time he was introduced, we can still deduce something about his story in the Las Nevadas arc. For instance, his role in Las Nevadas is being a mole for Quackity. Like a more goopy Hercules Mulligan, he can acquire intel and slink out with ease. He is a shapeshifter technically, able to mimic anything. The only seen problem he has is his unawareness of the world around him, basically akin to a child experiencing the world for the first time.

So I associate Charlie with the Spades, the commonly associated symbol for nobility. To Quackity, Charlie is not someone too hard to influence while at the same time may seem to have influence with the knowledge he holds. In past iterations of the spade, it was a sword. Even in Italian, the swords suit was referred to as a spade before it became the symbol. Charlie is the secret weapon with the intel he holds. Charlie is the most important to Quackity, the one who holds the most value above all the other candidates. Unlike the others, Quackity doesn’t berate or deliberately ruin what Charlie has, mostly because he has nothing to begin with. Instead, he is praised and gifted a home, like how nobility, when they are born, are simply gifted their titles. As the swords suit in tarot, spades represents aspects of thinking and communication. From his spy job, Charlie might open his eyes to a complicated world in a childlike manner. He’ll learn slowly but surely, whilst slowly having his perceptions being altered by Quackity. He already has shown doing this by lying to Charlie about snow. It is Q’s goal to coerce the easily swayable Charlie to blindly follow him akin to a child following a parent

Purpled

A mercenary after wealth, Purpled is being offered to join Las Nevadas in exchange for money. It is shown he is competent at sticking to what he believes in, but he does still follow the money mostly. However, Purpled is after more than just simple jobs to accrue wealth, which is what Quackity baits him with. He blows up the only thing that gave Purpled a name in the Dream SMP and offers him much more than the original incentive from the Red Banquet job. With the UFO gone, Purpled is given a choice to go big or go home, the final decision still unknown by the end of Purpled’s chapter. It’s interesting to see Quackity’s approach with Purpled, he’s much more confrontational with him than the others. Where Foolish was just insulted and Charlie merely being strung along, here Q deliberately makes a statement with TNT and a weapon. This might have to do with how Purpled is to be hired as a mercenary again, the man to depend on to take out a target. The only difference is the massive gain and utmost loyalty to Las Nevadas

Purpled is the suits of Diamonds. This suit has been thought to be associated with the merchants, the ones who gain most from sales of goods and services. To Quackity, he just has to convince Purpled with money beyond his wildest dreams. It’s quite important to note that Diamonds used to be bells in German suits, more specifically hawk-bells. These bells were used for falconry in medieval Europe, to denote a bird’s location and status. This is like what Quackity wants to do with Purpled, to keep the hunter under his guidance and not have his loyalties lie elsewhere. Diamonds in the tarot is seen as the suit of pentacles, concerning everything material and worldly. Pentacles often do not just concern financial matters but anything of security and practicality. It is all about what is realistic, for Purpled that is what he can own. Quackity knows that, he knows to bait the mercenary with money and to gamble with it.

Fundy

This one is a fun one to cover since this chapter is solely from Fundy’s point of view. Not once does it shift to Quackity and what he sees. Only Fundy and his nightmare. In the dream, Fundy wakes up in the middle of a red desert. It’s been said before, but being in a desert represents loneliness and disconnect. He is isolated and alone at first, except for Quackity. When he brought to the memories of L’manburg and its iterations, he views it all in awe. This contrasts with how he reacted before to the caravan, with anger and panic. In the dream with Quackity, he happily remembers the times of the past with Quackity, even if they were the most tragic times of L’Manburg’s history. The most notable thing about Quackity in the dream is the fact that he constantly makes Fundy feel noticed, make Fundy feel known and present. Fundy is not invalidated for his involvement in L’Manburg’s history. For once, Fundy feels happy. So when it twists around in Eret’s tower, a reminder of countless wars, the scene shifts to have Quackity in control. Fundy is told he does not matter all over again, told he will be as forgotten as L’Manburg’s history.

Fundy is the suit of Hearts, the suit associated with the clergy. This refers to someone with religious duties or more generally concerning what a person holds within their heart. This person is only important due to the group they associate with, similar to Quackity saying Fundy does nto matter until eh chooses to join with him. Besides just solely the card suits, the Heart tends to represent feelings and relationships. The latter part is an integral part of Fundy’s story, how his relationships with others always tend to fall apart. Feelings are important to Fundy too since he’s only attached to many things because of those feelings. He almost gains nothing but emotional support. And really, that’s is just always been something Fundy has been after – someone to depend on. And so, Fundy is swayed by the promise of a stable relationship with others, something that his dream pre-empted to be used by Quackity. Hearts in the tarot is seen as the Cups or Chalice, which represents everything of emotions as well. More interestingly, the suit of Cups deals with the unconscious too, even dreams. Pretty matching.

So what does it exactly mean for these connections with the poker cards? Well, to use the cards is to play the game of gambling, the game of poker. And that is what Quackity sees these people as, tools to use to win the game. He’s collecting these cards to gain a winning hand. It’s also evident that he’s pushing these cards to gamble as well. He cuts off all attachments they have and force their hand to take a risk. Foolish has to risk being destructive again. Charlie risks confiding with an untrustworthy friend. Purpled risks losing actual money. Fundy risks losing mental stability all over again. It’s all about taking a risk, something that Quackity is taking advantage of to win. The perception of the cards all come down to how Quackity sees what to string all of these people along to join his cause. In the end, Quackity only cares about what benefit it will bring to Las Nevadas, instead of giving sure promises of such high rewards for tagging along. With the parallels between how Quackity views the members to how Dream views others, it’s fun to see how Quackity sees more and more of this project as a game of chance he’s willing to take. So how will the game play out for all these cards? Only fates can tell.

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silence-burns · 4 years ago

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Please Hate Me //part 52

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Based on: “Imagine having a love/hate relationship with Loki.” by @thefandomimagine Who would have thought that babysitting a god could be so much fun?

Genre: slow-burn, enemies to lovers, banter, smut

"We fucked up."

"No, we didn't."

"We had Peter. Now we don't have Peter."

Loki's eyes were completely dark from a spell letting him see through Barbara's, but still he waved toward the completely-not-suspicious building complex in front of you. "But we found him again. That surely counts toward something, right?"

"We lost the alien pin too."

"Which we also found, if memory serves," Loki shrugged, as if the search hadn't taken the two of you the better part of an evening. Who knew searching through half of New York and visiting places it might've been dropped could be so time-consuming?

The weather was pleasant, the air growing warmer as the seasons continued to change. It was one of those days where everything felt brighter, despite how disappointing the reality might be.

"I'm still voting for arson," Loki said, assessing the tall fence surrounding the area. An area which crawled with people trying their hardest not to look like agents of some super-secret government facility, and failing rather miserably.

"You might not have noticed, but buildings nowadays have systems preventing fire from spreading."

"Do these systems work against magic fire too?"

"How am I supposed to know? Do I look like I spit magic fire on a whim?"

"You did last week," Loki muttered. The memory was still fresh.

"Wow, so now I'm the bad guy, and not the sneaky little bastard that ate all the cupcakes I left for-"

Barbara came back, flying on quiet, if a little filthy and decomposed, wings. Loki blinked twice, shedding the spell connecting him to the bird. As much as he didn't mind the heights, Loki had to admit he wasn't a fan of the sharp turns and rather random drops Barbara's flying pattern involved.

Loki pointed to one of the buildings further inside the complex. The red, evening sun hit the countless windows with blinding intensity. "The bird thinks the boy might be there."

You looked at the long stretch of road leading to the complex, like a carpet laid out specifically for you, but the crowds of agents working in the area leading to it made you cringe.

"I still vote arson."

"Why don't we just walk in, though? I mean, it was SHIELD themselves that contacted us, right? It should be okay to just… pay them a visit without sneaking around like… well, like villains. No offense."

Loki frowned. He didn't look convinced. "I like sneaking around, though. It keeps me away from trouble."

"If that’s true, how did you get banned from the Moon twice?"

"Touché. Lead the way then, love."

The way took you down the asphalt road, busy with cars rushing both ways. Despite their past issues, Loki couldn't help feeling a little bad for the agents. For all the grandeur and importance they always described their life to hold, Loki's imagination kept on showing him pictures of ants in their little nests, crawling in their endless, pointless patterns.

The ants seemed to fall into a state of shock rather abruptly after laying their eyes on the two visitors to their nest. Some of them just stood there, looking after the figures marching right to the gates, while others ran in a seemingly random direction.

"That worked out better than I thought," Loki admitted when all the space around you cleared.

Barbara perched on top of the gates, screaming on top of her rotten lungs. The security guards looked at one another and then at the approaching god. Their hands went to their guns. Loki took that as a compliment.

"I know this might surprise you," Loki said, "but we are here to talk. Fetch us your Agent Cauldron, and be quick about it."

"Coulson," you whispered.

"Whatever."

"No matter how many times you ask me, the answer will stay the same - I don't know," Peter groaned.

His back hurt from sitting on the same, incredibly uncomfortable metal chair for hours, and the lights of the small and a little outdated office were starting to make his head throb with an upcoming headache. Or maybe the reason behind it were the endless questions to which he wished he know the answer.

Agent Coulson looked at the photos on the desk between him and the boy. These were nice pictures. If he were more sentimental, he might've put them on a fridge or maybe to the clipboard on the wall to his left. They were definitely worth taking a look at least once a day - it wasn't often one had a chance to look at a god and an ex-assassin, completely drunk, being led by a teenage boy on a spider-thread.

Peter glanced down at them too, and scowled.

"Yeah, well, we've met and hung out together, but I don't know where they are now. Sir, if I knew, do you really think I'd willingly stay behind?"

The agent didn't answer. He moved very little, in fact. Peter was unsure whether it was a part of some special, super-secret interrogation technique, but it was working. To make things even worse, the metal chair he had been given was making sitting still a nightmare.

"That's a fair point, Peter," Coulson nodded, "but do you think I would be pressing you so much if two of the most dangerous people on this planet weren't currently on the run with an alien artifact of unknown origin that might've been recently used to damage our Moon?"

That was a fair point too, Peter had to admit. He might've even grown a little worried after hearing such news, if only it all didn't sound so exciting.

"So you DO know what happened to it, right?" the boy leaned forward, with eyes shining with excitement.

Agent Coulson sighed.

It was a small, almost invisible display of all the emotions boiling inside of him that he'd never show. He knew better, and had far too many years of experience to allow that. Still, the situation was beginning to wear on him, especially if he spared a thought or two to consider what the two people that should absolutely never go off radar, could be up to at this very moment.

Last time Loki visited Earth, he led an alien invasion. Last time Coulson met you before you hesitantly joined forces with the Avengers, you'd already put two bullets in Tony Stark and were on the way to making it three.

Coulson allowed himself a moment to thank his hair for already thinning out or he'd be losing it in a handfuls.

And the worst part was, he actually believed the boy.

He had clearly helped with sneaking you through half the city and into his apartment, but there was no evidence of him helping you out too. Wherever Loki and you were, Coulson was sure he'd hear about it soon enough. He might even let the boy go, and monitor him long enough to see if you'd show up.

The decision wasn't an easy one, but the agent was left with very limited choices. After all, how likely was it that the two of you would just show up?

The phone vibrated on the desk in front of agent Coulson. He picked it up.

He blinked. And simply said, "Yes."

Peter did not like the absent look on the agent's face. He'd seen far too many movies not to recognize the moment the power shifted in the room. Just in time for something bad to happen. It wouldn't be a problem if it stayed on the screen - Ned and him would freeze with the popcorn halfway to their mouths in anticipation of what was to come. But here, in reality, far from the safe spot on a couch, Peter was painfully aware of how much he didn't want to know what was about to happen next.

Unfortunately, whatever powers weaved through the lives of people, deciding their fate and luck, rarely listened to young boys in their judgement. In fact, they listened to old agents even less, but that was something Peter was unlikely to ever find out.

Peter twisted on the chair biting into his backside, and looked back to the thick, metal door. He hadn't realized it when he had been brought inside, but the door looked like it could take a few shots from a gun and remain unscathed.

Peter was not sure what to do with that information.

The door in question decided to finally open and reveal the reason for the sudden tension. It didn't even creak, so the god walked in in complete silence. You followed him, not as quiet, but just as unexpected.

Your face lit up when you noticed the boy. "There you are!"

Peter looked at the agent. The agent looked at Peter.

"I know you're probably not going to believe me, sir, but I swear I had nothing to do with this."

The agent had no doubt that the boy was the least likely person to ever manipulate the god of trickery and lies, or the almost-ex-assasin into anything, but he didn't say a word. He only raised an eyebrow and asked, "To what do we owe the pleasure?", as if there was anything pleasant to be found in the room. But lying was not solely a domain of gods, as all the agents in the world would probably agree.

And Coulson was a very good agent.

"We recently lost a boy, but it looks like he's just been found. Thank you for taking care of him."

"It was a pleasure," the agent smiled. "Although I can't help but worry if you have lost the pin too?"

"We wouldn't dare," Loki lied smoothly with an even more charming smile.

The god of trickery waved his hand and produced a pin seemingly out of thin air. Whether it was only a clever trick or an actual spell was something agent Coulson would never know, but for once he didn't mind. The pin felt heavy and looked just as the files described, but whether it was the real thing would only be revealed once a detailed analysis was completed.

Still, it somehow looked like the deal was fulfilled. Coulson would be lying if he said he'd placed a bet on that outcome.

Peter sprung out of the chair the moment you waved at him to go. The agents and armed officers waiting behind Loki and you on the corridor shifted with unease, their fingers laying on triggers. A small crowd eyed every move made in Coulson's office, which was to be expected - it was not every day a facility such as this one was visited by a god.

Especially one with a rather problematic history of attempted world domination.

"If we may, we'll take our leave now." Loki bowed stiffly.

"And what about the 'favor' you insisted on as payment?"

Something cold and ancient flashed in the god's eyes. "All in due time."

#please hate me #loki x reader #loki x you #loki imagine #loki #loki series #loki marvel #loki laufeyson #loki mcu #marvel loki #loki fanfiction #I Love Loki #loki fanfic #loki (marvel)

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canyouhearthelight · 4 years ago

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The Miys, Ch. 152

I’m not going to jinx it, I’m not going to jinx it, I’m not going to jinx it...

Okay, maybe I am. I managed to queue up the chapters I had in the barrel! Yay!! Which also means that I have a super duper exciting chapter coming up, which I can’t wait to write and can’t wait for y’all to read. I just need it to be perfect.

That said, thank you to @baelpenrose and @charlylimph-blog for your help with this particular chapter. I love when we are all three in one of these sessions and just descending into chaos in the chat. Also, @mamayoda (who I can’t tag but I do want you to know I see your likes in my notes!) for love-bombing my notes recently.

“Is it just me or is everyone really jumpy?” Charly asked as I set my food down across from her. It was our thrice-weekly lunch dates in one of the public mess halls, and she definitely had a point. I had already noticed three people scowl distrustfully at the food consoles, hugging closely to the prepared food side of the room instead.

I sighed. “It has to have been Derek’s stress test. It wasn’t supposed to impact systems we didn’t design, but…”

She snorted loudly. “Tell that to the week I spent taking cold showers again. At least this time, the doors didn’t play any music when I walked through them.”

“Did your doors at least open consistently? I was stuck in my quarters for a whole day until we figured out that I could walk through if I had an escort.” I laughed and shook my head before digging in to my food. “And, come to find out, we actually do manage the water systems, thanks to BioLab 2.”

Contrary to myself, Charly was entirely unperturbed at this revelation beyond sniffing her hoodie and shrugging. “My doors worked fine as far as I know, but Coffey and I tend to work the same hours, so… Maybe that was it. Oo!” Her cheer of enthusiasm caught me off guard as she started bouncing in her seat. “OOOOO! I bet he activated the routine Xiomara had running when you and Jokul weren’t friends yet!”

“There was a routine!?” I asked, exasperated. “I behaved, thank you. It wasn’t necessary.”

“Meh. Just in case. What do you think her deal is?” She tilted her head to the side, at a table near us.

Sure enough, the woman at that table was darting glances around the room, her shoulders hunched, elbows close to her body, eyes wide. I could practically feel her shaking from where I was. “I can’t tell if she looks suspicious or afraid,” I murmured, hoping the woman couldn’t hear me. “But the fact that I’ve met mice and chihuahuas who shook less, I’m going to go with afraid.”

As I watched the woman, weighing whether or not a stranger trying to comfort her would make it better or worse, Mona’s familiar face approached her instead. She was speaking softly enough that I couldn’t make out words, but the woman clearly recognized her and only jumped slightly.

I was so focused on the sight of Mona comforting the woman that I nearly hit the ceiling when Parvati’s voice came from entirely too close to my right shoulder. “Rebecca. She lost her family twice, first her parents, some cousins, and an uncle when the hack happened, and then her partner and children in the After. It’s understandable that she’s terrified right now, after the stress test. Too many bad memories.”

My face flushed in humiliation. “Pranav and Zach sent a ship-wide alert that the stress test was happening - “

A perfectly manicured hand clapped over my mouth, one dark eyebrow arched in eloquent disbelief. “Sophia. You of all people know that mental scars do not heed logic.”

Charly’s hair flew around her face as she nodded enthusiastically. “After day three of cold showers, I flinched every time I went through a door in case that stupid song started playing again, no matter how many times I reminded myself that it was a stress test and I had decidedly not given Derek boba tea again.”

Both my hands flew up in surrender. “I stand corrected, I just feel awful to see people react like that.” Gazing around the room, I was suddenly much more aware of all the darting eyes, protective postures, seats turned so that backs were against walls.

Charly had obviously seen the same thing. “We may need to talk to Pranav about limiting the tests to one or two systems at a time.”

“I wish we could,” I admitted, stabbing a potato out of my pie slightly harder than necessary. “His department was passing the tests with flying colors when Derek was limited to one or two systems at a time. But they failed this last test miserably, it turns out. As soon as they would react to one thing, Derek would switch to another system, and they couldn’t be everywhere at once as well as they convinced themselves that they could. And they can’t just be good at small scale attacks: the revolt that happened before the End brought everything down at once, from multiple access points. It was… kind of elegant, in a terrible way. Very clean.”

Charly squinted at me and Parvati in suspicion. “Are you supposed to know that they crashed and burned in the test.”

I rocked my hand back and forth while I chewed on a mouthful of crust. It had way too much butter in it, but at least it was actually crust this time. A week ago it had been something pretty close to paper mache. “Technically we don’t officially know that. Officially, all we know is that Pranav has requisitioned enough additional staff to increase his team of programmers by seventy percent.”

“Asses handed to them, got it,” Charly nodded in understanding.

“We also officially know that Pranav currently owes Hannah quite the enormous favor,” Parvati confided.

“How big?” Charly ventured slowly.

“Big enough that his grandchildren may be indebted to hers,” came the laughing response.

Charly shook her head and clucked her tongue. “He should know better than to bet against Derek. He breaks the systems for fun, and they asked him to really go for it. What did they expect?”

“Apparently to put up a better fight at least.” I forced a smile, but guilt weighed on my heart as I studied the room again, fully seeing the microexpressions of anxiety, fear, and anger. It felt like the entire Ark was constantly swinging between hope and fear. The random drills weren’t really helping, either.

“They aren’t,” Parvati agreed, letting me know that I had been thinking out loud. “Everyone is sleep deprived, on high alert, and then all of a sudden all the computer systems went on the fritz for a week.”

I sighed and rubbed my forehead, pushing what was left of my pot pie away from me, appetite gone. “We need to talk to Grey and Antoine about getting counselling for everyone, seeing as how Xiomara and Pranav pretty much just triggered the entire ship. I mean, everyone knows counselling is available, but I think allocating training and resources to the therapy teams is going to take priority over Pranav’s request for the moment.”

Charly tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Do we have the space for some quiet rooms, like you set up for the Food Festival a few years back? That may be a good idea.”

Snapping into work-mode, Parvati flicked her datapad open, bangles clattering as she started making notes. “The quarters left by those who relocated closer to the Archives are still uninhabited, those can be used. We may be able to convince some people to relocate so we can spread the rooms out more evenly, but even if we can’t, just having those rooms available will help.”

“Make a note to add in the proposal for Grey: possibility of having specific vendors permitted to serve food in BioLab 2. Encourage mental health days and picnics.”

Parvati nodded in acknowledgement of my request, before adding her own spin. “As a contingency plan, find vendors who will pre-package picnics. Between the current distrust of the consoles and the fact it will remind everyone of the annual Festival, the good emotions will help.”

“I like it,” I confirmed. “What else?”

“Paintball tag day in the corridors,” Charly announced, without preamble or warning. “Make it a holiday, everyone is off work, limit it to one end of the Ark.”

I shook my head. “Guns, not the best idea.”

“Ew, no. No pew-pew.” She wrinkled her nose. “I was thinking more paint-soaked splash bombs.”

Finger guns deployed, dual wielding. “I am so here for a paintball tag day in that case. The flavored paint?”

“Not the scotch bonnet please,” Parvati begged. “I just know someone will get that in the face, I don’t care how much Else likes it.”

“Got it, no more pepper spraying people,” Charly agreed seriously. “OOO! I could test the new arrows out! With something like buttered popcorn paint, obviously. Maybe kiwi on the other team.”

“Just limit the pull on the bows, okay? I don’t want anyone getting hurt.”

“Fiiiiine…”

Parvati smiled and added to her notes. “So, we probably want someone to correlate the current date to whatever the date would be on Earth… Just in case we need to get a consultant for Holi.”

“Good point. Conor is alarmingly good at that, so I can ask him. It would be a nice cultural event if we could do that. If not, we can totally work on celebrating Holi when it comes around.”

“Final suggestion for right now, because I have to get back to work,” I sighed happily. “This is going to be the biggest ask, and the smallest at the same time…” Both nodded at me to continue. “Care packages, for everyone. And I mean everyone on the Ark.”

“Sophia,” Parvati scolded me. “That’s almost ten thousand people and sixteen animal companions.”

“Well aware,” I forged on, “We’ll talk to Sam about the bows, I can wrap them. Commission some of those really nice chocolates, or maybe some taffy from Simon. And something salty. I know there is someone on the Ark who makes aromatherapy candles, Tyche is bananas about them.”

Shaking her head, she added it to the list. “If you insist on that, I insist on a celebration for the drop out of FTL. Hannah and I can use some of the plans from the Food Festival, include Charly’s paint tag - “

“And Kink Night!”

“- and Kink Night, apparently… have several events going on across the Ark, since we already discussed declaring a holiday.”

“Get Bash’s permission to use the Undine again, and I won’t object,” I surrendered before standing. “On that note, I really do have to get back to work. Come on, Vati, we have work to do apparently.”

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#the miys #found family #humans are weird #science fiction #aliens #apocalypse #humans are space orcs #humans are space fae #earth is space australia #post apocalypse #post post apocalypse #original science fiction #original sci fi #original writing

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simpingforsoftboys · 4 years ago

Text

Ways They Say “Ily” W/out Actually Saying It

Ft. Iwaoi and UshiTenSemi

!G/N reader!

So this will definitely be a series! Next up is BokuAka and Kuroken followed by SakuAtsu and SunaOsaKita.

Iwaoi

Hajime always has a supply of yours and Toru’s favorite snacks/foods on hand at any given moment

He knows how much of a hassle it can be to have to purchase your fav. “pick me up” snacks on a bad day- so he takes restocking very seriously

Speaking of food

Every once in a while he’ll make your favorite meal for dinner- just because he has the extra time, he claims- but in actuality making you your favorite food makes him feel closer to you

He’ll also do your laundry and put it away too! As well as perfectly iron your work uniforms and/or dress outfits

He’ll even wash your guy’s shoes and polish them too, but not say anything about it

If ya’ll don’t thank him, he won’t be sad, but he wants to at least hear that you noticed!

Toru is an Olympic athlete and you’re their lovely s/o- he’ll be damned if you two look anything less than like a model off a magazine

One last thing is how he lets you two cuddle up to him in the morning- after his second alarm has rung- and during his morning run time

It’s the way that he holds you two close and steady in his strong arms, letting you hear the thrum of his heartbeat and/or his calm breathing

Hajime won’t show his love verbally, most of the time it’s shown through little acts of service/skin ship

He’s a quiet but domestic sort of lover

Toru is... pretty lazy in terms of household chores

He’s not really one to care too much about mundane things

His love needs to be shown in big, extravagant ways

Like he’s the type to take you to the beach in summer, just to rent a gigantic lounge float- the type that’s main use is for day drinking- instead of taking you to a bar

Yes it’s relaxing but at this point why not just go to the local pub or something? It’d be cheaper- oh right because he needs to show Instagram that he’s an exceptional lover *cue eyeroll*

Nah, it’s actually because he wants to give you the best of both worlds- that of comfortable luxury and drunkenly passionate intimacy

Sometimes it annoys you and Hajime with how open he is with his love life on social media

But I promise it’s only because he loves you two so much and feels the constant need to brag about you

He does show it in smaller ways too

Like by holding the door open for you two, carrying your bags when shopping and paying for your purchases before you get the chance to even try

He’ll also take note of you and Haji’s current interests and occasionally buy you something *really* nice that he thinks you’ll love

He’s an open guy, but for you two he’ll willing indulge in the quiet moments of life

It’s okay if the rest of the world doesn’t see these moments- the ones where it’s just you three- like when you’re all in a bubble bath sipping that expensive champagne that costs way too much- and enjoying the way the tubs jets massage your back muscles.

Or when it’s 3 in the morning and he wakes up feeling hot and sweaty, only to find himself trapped between the loves of his life- and not having the heart to wake you up

Not even when Hajime drools on his shoulder, or when your hair tickles him through his shirt

Toru is loud and outspoken but it’s his quiet moments that really show his love for ya’ll

UshiTenSemi

Wakatoshi doesn’t really perceive things like most people

This includes romantic actions

He’ll do something if he feels it needs to be done- not out of love, but because it’s the most logical thing to do- and you three know that

I think his unspoken way of telling you he loves you is when he goes out of his way- logic be damned- to do something specific

Like that one time you wanted to buy the newest gaming console but all the pre orders were sold out, making the only way for you to get one “first come first serve”

This man decided that for you, it was okay if he didn’t follow his routine to a ‘t’

He said goodbye to his sleep schedule and awoke at 2:25 in the morning to make his way to the nearest Yamada Denki to stand in the freezing cold for nearly 6+ hours until the store opened.

He beat majority of the crowd and got you your console, even though he was 51,896 yen poorer, and his sleep schedule would take the rest of the week to get back on track, he decided it was all worth it to see that wide smile on your face

When he’s home he’ll wash some fruits and veggies for you guys and serve them to you on little snack trays to curb your appetite until the next meal

Speaking of food- he definitely cooks a light breakfast for ya’ll before he leaves for morning practice

Husband material right here-

Toshi’s love is like gravity in a way

There’s set laws of nature that applies to it- unquestionable and unchanging; something you’re perfectly understanding of- but the slightest change of it is so noticeable that it leaves you in a state of surprise, making you appreciate all that he had done before in a new light, and looking forward to seeing more of it during your daily life.

Satori is a sap and for what-

Like he’ll make all of you delicious little chocolate treats (but Wakatoshi’s is made differently so that it’s more healthy... because he’s an athlete and needs to watch his diet)

On that same note Eita can’t have much chocolate either... since it’s actually able to cause phlegm... oh well more for you I guess

When you oversleep he wakes you up by digging his long, w i g g l y fingers into your sides and TICKLES you

It’s a really nice way to wake up actually- laughing your sleepiness away

He loves seeing your laughter induced teary eyed gaze and wide smile in the morning- it fills him with more energy than a triple mocha frappe.

Something else he likes to do is have you lie on top of him and trail his fingers up and down your face

I mean this guy probably has A L L of your facial features memorized- but he really just likes to look at you- and see you gazing back

That last one is something only you and him do- Eita gets too flustered if Satori even tries, and Ushijima would just... kinda smile oddly, stare, and lay really still? Yeah as much as he loves your awkward miracle boy- it’s not as fun when he’s still as a statue and not relaxed

When he’s not being cute, Satori is dragging you three into his random adventures

Like it could be literally 1 am and he is up and raring to go to the beach

Ofc he won’t force anyone to come with him- but it’s not quite as fun without someone accompanying him

Occasionally he can convince Toshi and Eita to join- but for the most part it’s just you and him

Ya’ll always have a blast and make a bunch of fun memories

Did I mention that he comes to you first before your other two partners when he wants to go adventuring? Because he does-

Sometimes you go to watch the sunrise in his car but binge watch anime while waiting for the sunrise

He’s a spontaneous, fun lover- and he has the most fun when it’s with you

Eita is... surprisingly romantic too?

Like damn he writes love songs about your foursome RELIGIOUSLY

Hell over the course of your 5 or so years together he has written nearly 7 full albums dedicated to ya’ll-

Guess you’re an inspiration or smth

Even if you can’t sing WHATSOEVER this mans rose colored glasses effects are so prominent that he could listen to you for hours on end

No but seriously he is so obsessed with everyones voices (not that he’ll say it but like it’s obvious at this point)

I mean ya’lls vocal ranges are just so different!

Obvi Toshi has a bass voice, Satori has more of a baritone one (though he really does try to pass off as a tenor for some reason)- and then there’s you- it’s so interesting to him to hear you guys talk to each other (and sing-) because of how your voices overlap

He’s the type to buy you roses whenever he’s feeling extra appreciative and maybe a new set of lingerie or some silk night wear

I don’t know why but despite his extensive collection of leather EVERYTHING, he really enjoys seeing you in expensive, clothing

And then he won’t shut up about how attractive you are XD

Oh but he’ll also buy all four of you matching silk robes too so you can be comfy together

But don’t be posting about it on social media or anything- these are for your eyes ONLY! No one else should get to see his partners like this but him

Don’t even get me started about date nights

Because he’s insisting that everyone wear something of his

Dude you only have leather clothing wdym-

Unfortunately there’s a slight issue since everyone’s different sizes so he does the next best thing

He commissions custom made leather jackets for ya’ll

They have your initials and everything

Black leather with white and lavender print- reminiscent of Shiratorizawa days long passed

Eita appreciates all of you in his own cute ways, and loves seeing little bits of him on you because it makes him feel connected to you even more

#haikyuu poly au #haikyuu headcanons #oikawa x reader x iwaizumi #oikawa x reader #oikawa toru x reader #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #tendou satori x reader #tendou x reader #semi eita x reader #ushijima x reader x tendou #ushiten x reader #ushitensemi x reader

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sokkadora · 4 years ago

Text

save me — sokka x reader

part one of two

summary: after getting snatched up by the dai li and azula, an unknowing sokka doesn’t expect to seeing you beside the princess. how is he going to get you back?

a/n: i used this same template on another ‘x reader’ on my wattpad do not attack me please </3 (reader has she/they pronouns)

wc: 3.4k

warning(s): blood, stabbing, brainwashing, angst

The Dai Li waited within a circle with a single candle on it, and the only thing to be seen on his face was a sinister grin.

Two of the agents had their hands wrapped around your arms, dragging you towards a chair with straps on it. You kicked at their feet, and screamed through the fabric tied around your mouth. Tears streamed down your cheeks, making the scrapes and cuts from the earlier fight sting. But you hardly felt it.

Something visceral overtook your senses: a sort of wild panic. Your heart hammered against your ribcage, and you felt every painful throb in your ears. No matter how much you kicked, pulled, or squirmed - you couldn't escape. The two agents holding you kept walking towards the chair, a creepy blank expression on their faces.

"Do you know why you’re here, little one?" The agent asked, staring down at you intensely. He stood on a platform in the circle: all calm, tall and evil. His air of peace was more disturbing than his cruel smirk. You growled and tried to lunge at him, but your captors wouldn't let you budge. "No? Very well. This is the beginning of a journey for you. Here, you will be remade into a loyal servant for our King and due to the Princess’ orders, will serve at her side. All your memories, your mistakes, your flaws, your - past self, your pain... will be stripped away. You can start anew in Ba Sing Se, my child."

Your mouth went dry, and a panicked scream died in your throat. 'Wouldn't have done me any good anyways. No one could hear me. No one would save me.' You thought to yourself as you slumped in the agent's hold, the fight leaving you as tears dripped off your chin. 'No one can save me. It was too dangerous. In this fight - I am alone.'

As your feet dragged closer to the chair, memories appeared in your head. Some of them were as all those stories say; your life passing by.

You remembered the first time you met the GAang, specifically Sokka - the look of determination he had when he was fighting. You almost laughed - he had knocked you out with his club on accident and apologized for days on end. Then you remembered you two fighting side by side - together. You two felt invincible in those moments. You saw his eyes in your mind - how they held so many shades of blue and gray. Sure, they changed hues slightly with the weather, but they had much more subtle changes too. When he was sad or upset they twinkled a steel-gray, a storm held in his gaze. When he was happy they'd glow deep ocean blue, so full of joy and love. It was a particular hue, with a kind of natural brilliance and depth, that had quickly become your favorite - your place of comfort and hope. You remembered the past few months you shared, and you dreamt of a future that would never come to pass.

You dreamt of standing in front of him, his hands in yours, and promising a life by his side. You had promised to love him and cherish him, for as long as you had on this crazy adventure. You dreamt of strolling through the streets of a random town, your fingers laced together as you browsed the shops. You two laughed and chased each other, the terrors of war long forgotten. Your heart clenched painfully as the lump in your throat grew - You remembered all the things you didn't get to say.

You got sat into the chair. The agents stood on either side, beginning to strap you in. And you couldn't lie, it stung. They tugged the strap around your wrists, biceps, calves and neck tightly. You wondered if your heart would just give out eventually - stop its own misery. One of the agents reached over and untied the piece of cloth from your mouth.

You didn't scream, didn't plead, and didn't cry as the agent in the circle began repeating the words, ‘The Avatar and his friends are the enemy’.

You held a blank expression and only whispered, "Sokka, I love you. I am so sorry." And everything went black.

　　　　　　　　　　⋆˚ ✩ ࿐ཻ

You don't really remember what happened afterwards, your mind felt like it was missing a large chunk of time. You couldn't see in the pitch black room, and your head hurt. When you ran your fingers through your hair, you noticed it was slightly shorter.

You felt weird; oddly numb and not quite like yourself. Besides whatever was missing from your memories, you couldn't feel much of anything. It was the sort of senselessness that didn't bring calm, but a deep sense of unease - an echo of a warning.

A man eventually came to your room, a devious smirk spread on his face. He offered his hand, and you took it. "Welcome to the side of the powerful, (Y/n)," He said, nodding at you.

And a reply tumbled from your lips as you nodded. "Thank you,"

He wordlessly led you out of the room and through the castle. Your feet moved quietly as you walked into the main room. the Earth King’s throne glistened by the control center, and his army of agents lined the balconies. All your could see were three Kyoshi Warriors, the Earth King, and his bear. The agent led you in through the side, shielding you away from something happening in front of the throne. You heard the King speak, and then someone shouted at him. Sokka.

You tensed up slightly, a growl taking a place on your features. Something in you wanted to yell at him to run, to leave, and forget about you but you didn’t know why. You didn’t say anything, but you were stuck in place, the hopeless warning ricocheting in your mind. It was like trying to escape a prison within yourself - no matter how much you clawed and threw yourself against the invisible force holding your memories back in your own head - it wouldn't budge. Until Azula spoke.

"I believe I have someone you peasants have been looking for. Come here, (Y/n)." Her voice echoed as the agents in front of you moved to the side. You took a confident step forward. Azula stood next to the throne, holding the King at flame-point. In front of him, Toph was flopped on the ground, looking beaten and messy, but Sokka was being held back by Mai and Ty Lee. Sokka gasped when he saw you, a look of hurt flashing across his eyes.

"(Y/n)?" He asked. You felt a desperate wanted to reply, the restrained memory in your mind practically shouting at you to do so.

"Hello, Sokka. Toph." You growled. Your voice sounded far too harsh - aggressive almost.

Sokka growls, "What did you do to them?!" He tries to run to you, but two girls grip his arms tighter and hold him back. He thrashes around before stopping, gazing up at you as tears formed in his eyes. You felt a distinct hatred for the boy, but it was almost artificial, and you raised your eyebrows.

You walked in front of Azula, getting on your knees and bowing, "Oh, don't worry, peasant. The Dai Li helped them. You should’ve seen it..." She reaches out for your hand, and you take it to stand. "...she was so overwhelmed by anxiety and rage and pain in the end... and we brought her to the right side. Isn't that right..." She rubs her thumb on the the back of you neck. "(Y/n)?"

"Yes, Princess Azula. The Dai Li have given me meaning, Sokka," You walked to him, bending down a bit to reach his eye level, your hand cupping his face. You felt his tears fall on your thumb. You felt pity for him because of the words you were about to spit out. And whatever the agents did to you, they tore up your throat with a kind of poison you never could have used on Sokka normally. "You broke my heart, and the saddest part? You didn't even realize it."

"Please, (Y/n)." He begged. The tone in his voice practically drove a knife through your chest. And you couldn't control yourself. You're hurting him.

"You abandoned me when I needed you most. You let me fall right into the Dai Li��s grasp. You abandoned me, Sokka. After you promised you wouldn't." You clutched Sokka’s face tighter, causing him to wince in pain.

"(Y/n), please! I-I never meant to leave you. I tried to come back for you, I swear. But I promised I'd come back for you. (N/n), you have to fight it!" He shouted. You scratched his cheek. A small bit a blood dripped. Your gut wrenched, and you felt horrible, sick.

"You and your promises, Sokka." You almost laughed, smiling cynically. "It's a little too late for that now, isn't it? Do you want to know what hurt the most?" You words dripped with a kind of malice and cruelty you felt like you meant. It was like your insecurities and fears were being warped, molded into a false hatred, weaponized to hurt the one person you loved most. "My place is with Princess Azula, Sokka. I don't want to leave."

Sokka let out a shaky breath, "(Y/n), I am so, so sorry, please—"

"It hurt because I loved you," The moment you said it, something inside you shattered. And it seems as though something shattered in Sokka as well.

Sokka whimpered, closing his eyes. You could feel his jaw clench in your hand, the muscles pulsing lightly. When he looked up at you, you felt a desperate kind of rage and heartbreak ripple through your body and your face softened. He looked broken. His eyes turned a dark shade of gray you'd never seen before, like your words had extinguished the light behind them.

This was a kind of twisted that left a vile and gross feeling in your chest. This was not supposed to be how you told him, and loved? Loved? You never stopped loving him. You never would. You couldn't.

Sokka lividly turns to Azula, "Let them go." He growled, once again trying to escape the girls grasps.

Azula places a hand on your shoulder and you gasp as she cackles, "Shall we make a deal, boomerang boy?" She slowly drags on. "I will give them to you, if... you want her..." Sokka’s gaze fixated on your tense form for a moment, and narrowed at Azula. "But first, you must do something for me. You... will give me the Avatar."

Sokka glared determinedly at Azula, "Never." He spit. You knew be wouldn't, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

"Very well." She smirks, snapping her fingers. Mai held up a knife to his bicep and sliced it through, the deep red liquid flowing down his arm. Sokka collapsed out of their grip, kneeling on the ground with a hand over his arm. Sokka winced as Azula grinned wickedly, and closed his eyes. He looked a little dazed. Momo rushes out of the agents grip and to Sokka, scampering around him before being scooped up again, "You miscalculated. You thought yourself worthy to challenge me. But the Avatar is nothing but false hero, the very last of the pathetic Air Nomads to fall at my hands." Azula cackled. "You have led your friends to destruction." Azula harshly yanked you closer to her. A choked sob died in your throat and Sokka gasped before whimpering. “A terrible decision on your end, truly.”

Sokka fought back his own sobs, tears continuously streaming down his brown face. The quickly rising panic in your chest allows you to break through the mind washing for a moment. You gasp lightly, your eyes giving your usual softness as you whipped your gaze to Sokka, breathing in sharply. Sokka searched your eyes.

"Sokka, go!" You shouted. Azula squeezed your shoulder once again, making you wince in pain as you felt the memories leave again.

Azula looks amused. "Ah..." He pats you on the head, and you hum unconsciously, "but you two brats must have a lot of catching up to do. I will leave you to it, take the blind girl to the cell." Azula handed you a staff. Your hand instinctively grabbed the center, wrapping around it. You caught your reflection in the clean and reflective floors - you didn't recognize yourself.

Sokka stood, holding his arm as he looked to you, desperate, "(N/n), please." He whispered brokenly.

You lunged at Sokka, and he barely had time to deflect with his machete. You kicked him in the stomach, sending him flying back.

At this point, you felt like you had mentally screamed yourself hoarse, if that was possible. You hated Sokka, right? He was your sworn enemy and your Princess hated him. So you should too? But as your staff came down in strike after strike, and Sokka only defended himself. Even if he was injured, he probably could easily overpower you, but for some reason he didn't. You were always the better fighter, but some part of you hoped that your slightly wacky mental state would weaken you enough for him to take you down.

"(Y/n), listen to me. I know you're still in there." He pleaded. "I'm not leaving without you. It's gonna be okay—" He said, dodging another blow. You dropped your staff, using the distraction to drive a punch into his side. He grunted, and stepped back. You cracked a evil, crooked grin as you slowly advanced at him.

"You already left me!" You shouted back, throwing another punch. He caught it, twisting your arm behind your back and holding you in place. Sokka's machete touched your neck. Your staff was just barely out of reach. "But no matter. You can still come to the right side and be with me, stand by my side like you promised, Sokka."

Sokka spun you around and placed a kick to your chest that sent you into a pillar. The pillar cracked a bit behind your head, and you felt a tug on your neck. You whimpered, shaking off the pain. Sokka looked concerned, his brows furrowed and lips pulled into a frown. He held out his hand towards you, asking you to stop.

"(Y/n), please come back to me. I don't want to hurt you." He begged. Your heart twisted violently, but it didn't stop you from picking up the staff.

"You already hurt me, Sokka. When you didn't come back for me," You growled, noticing the atmosphere of outside the castle. Sokka gasped, his face a picture of utter heartbreak. You caused that, and you felt satisfied?

It left you feeling insane and hollow at the same time. Before you knew what was happening you leaped into the air, bringing the staff down with you. Sokka sidestepped the blow, but not before you caught his leg with the sharp edge on the staff. He hissed, turned, and kicked you in the back. You stumbled towards the stairs, one foot slipping halfway off.

"(Y/n)!" Sokka shouted, reaching a hand out. You looked down the stairs, seeing the steep drop and you laughed. You began to fall back, still grinning. Sokka sprinted forward and tugged you back by your arms. He pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you.

You wanted to feel safe. You wanted to hug him back, to hold him, to bury your face in his neck and apologize until your voice lost its strength. Instead, you dragged your sharpened nails across his broad shoulders. Sokka cried out in pain, his broken breath falling on your neck. At that moment, You decided that if you made it out - you'd never forgive yourself.

Sokka shuffled on the edge, pulling you both back onto the more solid ground. Azula’s voice boomed behind the two of you, "I wonder, do you know just how much they've suffered? Did they ever tell you about the burden they carry, of so many they couldn't save back at their home? They have so much pain. I imagine you didn't know. There's so very much they didn't tell you, and now? Well, you'll just be another person they couldn't save. Isn't that right, little one?" You felt a pressure in your head, and a cacophony of voices erupted around you. You broke through for another second.

"Sokka?" The tears glistened on his cheeks. He yelled, spinning you around again and slamming you into another pillar. Something snapped in your head and you howled in pain, the sound quickly morphing into a deranged laugh. The voices kept getting louder around you, mumbling things about killing the Avatar and the Fire Nation, the war. You coughed, regaining control of your head for a split second. You reached back out to Sokka. He looked at you, searching you face, as if in that moment he saw you again. Azula quickly repeated those hypnotic words, sending you into a spiral.

"I am not giving up on you, (Y/n)!" He exclaimed, panting with desperation clear in his voice as he clenched his arm.

You broke through once again, "Sokka..." You muttered meekly before the mind control broke through again.

Azula’s voice thundered again, "Then you're a fool! You cannot stop my father. He will reign triumphant over all the nations! It is... destiny."

You felt a shock shot down your spine, and this time you could see sparks flying. You cried out in agony, feeling like you were being torn apart. Something started buzzing behind you.

"No!" Sokka yanked you towards him. He leaped you two away from the Azula shot just as she shot it, the two of you tumbling away from the princess. Your head felt like it was on fire and your joints felt sore. Whatever had happened to you, gave you a little bit of room to fight through the brainwashing.

Sokka quickly rushed you behind a pillar, hiding from Azula. "Sokka... you should have stayed away." You lightly growled. "Why did you come back? We both know I don't matter," You said in a broken whisper. He dragged himself closer, cradling your face in his hands. There were bloody cuts on his fingers and knuckles. Sokka looked at you with a kind of panic and terror that shook you to the bone, but something else shimmered behind his eyes. Something full of hope...

"You matter to me. I need you," He breathed, his lips forming a sad smile. There was a cut on his bottom lip, a bit of blood smeared down his chin.

You weakly smile and half-sob, before gasping as Azula shouted the hypnotic words once more, and your control whooshed away, your eyes turning harsh and pulling Sokka’s hand away. You slap Sokka, causing him to grunt and tumble backwards. You walk toward the ledge, no stairs leading down this time as you cry out in pain as your mind battles itself. You grasp your head as Azula and Sokka’s words clash.

Sokka stands back up, a desperate look on his face and voice shaking as he speaks, "Come on, (Y/n)! You've never listened to anyone in your life! So, are you really going to start now?!"

You felt the voices whoosh away and managed a broken smile, "You're such an idiot..."

Sokka nodded as he laugh through his tears, "Yeah... I know..." He smiles tearfully, "I'm going to take you home, (N/n)."

The voices whoosh as your eyes turn back to normal and you half-sob weakly, "Promise?" You mumble just loud enough for him to hear.

Sokka cries, reaching out his hand desperately, "I promise!" He cries.

You give him a small, broken, yet hopeful smile and swallow thickly as you shakily reach out, "Sokka..."

Before you can touch Sokka, Azula shouts the words again and your hand retracts, you whimper. You stand up straight, eyes wide and palms sweaty. You wanted to shout. To cry. To feel practically anything and have control over your actions again, but it felt impossible.

Azula voice was terrifying as she neared closer to the two of you, "Very disappointing. Some creatures are destined only for destruction."

Your feel your head go quiet, but a sharp pain stabs through your head. You scream and clutch your head painfully. You begin to fall backward.

Sokka reaches for you as you nearly fall off the ledge, "(Y/n), no!" He shouts. Sokka quickly grabs you and hugs your nearly unconscious form to his chest.

Azula growled, quickly rushing to you two, but getting shot away by a stone. Toph rounds the stone, a panicked look on her face as Kuei and Bosco run up behind her.

“We have to go now, Sokka!” Toph shouts, waving for Sokka to follow her to Appa. Sokka looks down at you, and is just relieved that you’re alive before joining them.

#sokka x reader #sokka x y/n #sokka x you #sokka imagine #atla x reader #zoe's works #my works

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justinewt · 3 years ago

Text

Everything Happens At Nightfall - TWD Rewrite Chapter Eleven

[TWD REWRITE-MASTERLIST]

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Summary: The whisperers’ threat was huge. They wanted to convey a message of fear by putting the survirvors’ friends and family on pikes, out in the open for the crows to come and eat. Self-served buffet. Anna had lost a friend in the process but she had her father to take care of her and she even had someone to take care of, a new face in Alexandria. But she was going to have to face her own demons, maybe not so alone then she thought...

Words: 5k

Warnings: spoilers TWD season 10 (episode 4 specifically and spoilers regarding an event in season 9 episode 15), mention of deaths, traumas, some joy despite all, physical traumas from an accident (c.f last chapter white-out), lots of blood, violence, cursing, brief mention of some of Anna’s traumas (non explicit mention of what could look like ptsd from SA - not graphic, detailed or whatever, shouldn’t be triggering)

5 months later (or so)

The whisperers. They killed some of them. Enid. Henry, the Kingdom’s leaders kid. She hadn’t seen either of them in a while but it felt weird thinking they were dead. Anna never really cared about this new threat before because she was all safe and protected in Alexandria and she had not left its compound for months. To be honest, the blizzard incident had left her mind and body rather traumatized even though she never said it and she wasn’t ready to go out again just now. She needed some time but she didn’t know whether or not she would be granted it. In this world, the future was more unpredictable then ever and no god, no one, could protect one from what could happen, no matter how hard they tried. This was everyone’s number one fear, having no control on what was yet to happen. But for now, she wasn’t affected by their actions and she tried to live without worrying, for once. In truth, she was just burying them deep to forget about them but they would come to her suddenly and with no warning but she knew that. It wasn't such a big deal because, even Michonne tried to help her live what could be labelled as a normal life, including her at dinner time with Judith and Rick Jr. They were really sweet and their laughters brought a little joy in this apocalyptic shithole of a world. The adults that used to hate her because of who she was, were now sharing bits of their everyday life with her and she appreciated being included very very much, and she was really thankful. The last family meals she had shared were so long ago that they were only vague memories now. A memory that she would cherish the most was the time when she was having dinner with Michonne, Judith, the little Rick and Daryl was at the house and joined them. The laughters, the smiles and the light and cheerful atmosphere would forever be on her mind.

After doing some camp chores, Anna breathed out and sat on the steps of Michonne's house, where she still resided as well, in a room between her two children's. She held her left wrist in her hand, her fingers were shaking. She clenched her fist to stop it as long as she could. Since the blizzard, Anna had experienced tremors in her limbs, mostly her hands, when she released tension after an effort or when she was inactive for too long. What she went through had caused nerve damage to her body and it had sometimes random impulsive reaction. It was a bit like the russian roulette and she was still trying to figure out how to deal with it. Sometimes, when she would get hurt, the pain response would be worse or lesser than what it should have been, like, if she bit her lip, it would feel more painful than it is because the nerves couldn't process what happened correctly, ever since she got stuck in the storm. But the good thing was that it didn't weaken her so much. From where the young woman was, she could observe Aaron teaching some survirvors, late teenagers and adult alike, to fight. Anna never went there because she didn't need a lesson. She had had to learn what he taught them first hand. She had lived long enough to learn how to overpower, hurt or kill someone, on her own. As she stared at her clenched fist, she looked up and saw Lydia, passing nearby those who were training. Three of them had turned to her and were talking to her. Anna frowned as she stood up and walked quickly towards them. Her sprain had healed since she got it when she fell, and she wasn't limping at all anymore. Lydia was about to leave but saw Anna and simply moved out of her way.

“Since you listen to Aaron’s combat lessons so carefully, show me what you learned, come on.” She opened her arms in a defying way, staring at the stupid teenagers, young adults or whatever the shit they were.

“Anna…” Lydia mumbled behind her, her head tucked into her shoulders, eyes on the ground. Aaron silently watched from where he was. The most unfortunate part of the story was that he hadn't told them anything but, Lydia was in the same situation as Anna when Negan was still the big bad guy in the center of everyone's attention and, if she hadn't been strong, she would never have been able to ignore those kinds of people and what they might say. The problem was that Lydia had just arrived here, she had no one. She walked closer to the three of them, casually clasping her hands in front of her with a defiant look on her face. Anna showed that she took them for idiots, with her little mocking smile.

“So, which one goes first ? Come on, don’t be shy.” A blond boy came up to her with a frown.

“Who the fuck do you think you are ? You think you’re better than us ?”

“Oh, no. No, no, no.” She shook her head, biting her inner cheek. “I don’t think, I am sure of it, dickhead.”

He rushed at her and Anna immediately succeeded in blocking his movements, putting his arms behind his back and pinning him to the ground with her knee on his lower back. She let go of his arms when she saw one of his friends approach and Anna just had to grab his arms, turning him aside forcibly and kicking behind his knee to make him fall to the ground. Anna looked at the woman behind them, she glanced at the two boys on the ground who were slowly getting up as Anna advanced towards her, she who was also one of those who attacked Lydia a moment before. The woman took a few steps towards her and raised her arms to attack. Anna grabbed her wrists and pulled her towards her, crossing her arms on her chest, pinned against hers. She brought up her calves at the back of her knees and as she was about to let her fall on the grass, she heard someone move behind her and it didn’t take her long to understand that the boys or at least one of them was on their feet. She let go off the woman and kicked behind her, sending the boy back to the ground.

“I restrained myself from actually giving you the beating of your life and I can assure you, you don't want me to. Because you’d all be dead.” She threatened before walking back to Lydia. She put a comforting hand on the girl’s shoulder, about to leave with her but the voice of one of the boys reached her ears while she had her back to them.

“You think you're better than everyone else, Ma'am Savior, but you're like your father and he's just a fucking scum bag and a loser who deserves to be where he is.” She instantly turned around and when she walked back to them, funnily enough, everyone was quiet.

“Which one of you said that ?” No one answered. “You’re either deaf or completely dumb. I’ll ask this one more time. Which one of you said that ?” She knew which one had spoken but she wanted to confront them before going physical. Anna turned to the blond guy and smacked him in the jaw with her fist. He grunted as he fell down, holding his face with his hands. Aaron shouted to Anna. He ordered the two friends of the boy to take him to the infirmary before approaching Negan’s daughter.

“What’s gotten into you, Anna ?” He asked, grabbing her arm with his good hand but she pulled away from him.

“Next time this happens, don’t stand there saying nothing. These jerks would have gotten half of their face burned if they were at the Sanctuary and dared to talk this way.” She spat out, putting her hand on Lydia’s back and walking away with her to take her somewhere quieter.

“Why did you do this? You got yourself into trouble because of me.”

“I've always had trouble. This was nothing.” Anna replied, slightly smiling at Lydia to reassure her. She went to sit on the grass among white sheets that were hung on wires to air dry. Anna stood nearby, watching her. “When I arrived, I had Alexandria late leader, Rick Grimes to help me fit in and to avoid this kind of situation and yet, you see that there are stil people that hate me. But I got myself another strong ally. My fist. I'm telling you, I've got a hell of a punch.” Anna paused, laughing softly, as she looked at the teenager, she saw her smiling with an amused look as well. “I've been through a lot and I can't stand this kind of people anymore. I no longer tolerate them. And you, Lydia, you arrive in an even more delicate period than me when I was in your place, you don't have a Rick. I remember when I saw you for the first time, several months ago. I didn't know your name or your story, but I know now and you're not a bad person. You'll find your place, eventually, even if it means I have to send people to the infirmary.”

“Why did you say they would have gotten their faces burned ?” She inquired.

“Where I used to live, uh, the Sanctuary, for such a behavior they would have been severily punished. Especially if they were going after me.”

“Why ?”

“Being the leader's daughter was quite a protection back then.” She answered, turning around. She was about to walk away when she heard her father’s voice. He had been allowed to walk in the camp during the day to do chores and stuff but had to go back to his cell every night and was followed around by someone.

“You looking for a job, kid ?” He asked Lydia with a smirk as he pushed a wheelbarrow in which he carried laundry.

“Just trying to clear my head.” She shurgged, speaking in a low voice.

“Hey, dad.” Anna spoke over the teenager softly. He looked up at her upon hearing her voice. She knew he knew she was already there when he arrived but he pretended not to be aware of it until now because she figured he had probably accidently eavesdropped them and didn't want to come in at the wrong moment and have them think he listened on purpose. He sighed silently, letting go of the wheelbarrow’s handles and walking over to Lydia, keeping his smile up on his face.

“It’s your third visit in a week. You keep it up, you're gonna find some socks with your name on ‘em.” He joked, trying to lighten the girl’s mood.

“Gage and his friends started again today.”

“Again ? Jesus. All right, kid, look obviously you're having a day, but, you know, what happened to rolling with it ?”

“I’m not just gonna smile and take it.” She retorted, glancing up at him.

“Didn’t say that. And, I certainly advise you now not to go for it, fists up, like Anna.”

“Why does she, then ?” Negan giggled slightly at the question and breathed out.

“You don't put out a fucking forest fire just by blowing on it, do you?” Anna let out a laugh because of the metaphor. “And, I also didn’t say run and hide. I mean, shit.”

“You said to kill ‘em with kindness. Well, it was Anna who nearly killed one of them, and without much said kindness.”

“I know…” He smiled, thinking of his daughter rearranging this little prick's face but resumed a more serious face quickly. “And, well, I did say that. But look, they trying to get a reaction outta you. They wanna see you upset. Don’t give that to ‘em. Screw ‘em.”

“Let’s go.” Daryl bursted through the hunged sheets and stood in front of Lydia, looking down at her. He didn’t hate Anna anymore and viewed her as a member of the community, at least she liked to believe so, but now he had someone else to despise and the current situation with Lydia looked a little bit too similar to her own, when Rick had just brought her here for the first time.

“I’m good.”

“Now.” He looked at Anna. “And you, go see Gabriel.”

“Come on, Daryl. Cut her some slack, she’s just trying to fit in.” Anna sighed, letting her hands fall to her side in exasperation.

“It's not by hanging out with you that she's gonna get there. And Anna, I told you to go see Gabriel. It's an order.” She rolled her eyes and frowned while Daryl walked away with Lydia. She felt her father stood up and look at her and foresaw what he was about to say.

“Whether I go right now or not, I will have problems.” Anna's relaxed left hand began to shake until she closed it and held her fist in her right hand. Her father gently stroke her shoulder before getting back to doing his laundry chore and she eventually walked away, ready to get scolded at by the priest.

He did lecture her pretty bad, asking her not to play vigilantes. She was pissed but at least he didn’t punish her for the incident and simply send her on her way with a warning. She was supposed to go see this boy whose name was apparently Gage and apologize but she was obviously not going to do that. Gabriel knew she wasn’t a serious threat and that she just wanted to teach a lesson to some idiots but he told her that if it happened again and someone got sent to the infirmary, she would spend her evenings and nights in the cell with her father instead of in a comfortable bed in Michonne’s house, and she would see her edged knife taken from her. That same evening, Anna went out for a walk to take her mind off things since she couldn't sleep. His hands weren't shaking, thankfully. As she walked, she saw figures moving silently in the dark, near the laundry hanging in the camp. She squinted and ducked to move unseen, grabbing a piece of wood from the floor. Something was wrong. She could feel it. Firmly holding her weapon of fortune until she heard someone hush and whisper for a few seconds and the voices got louder. She frowned and heard the muffled sounds of blows and suddenly, Lydia’s voice rose. She rushed through the sheets and got there within the instant. Gage and another brunette boy were pinning her down. Her body froze. She was paralyzed an instant but when she was punched in the somach by the blond woman, she grunted, falling to her knees, letting go of the stick. She coughed and felt the girl grabbed her hair and pull her away, kicking in her ribs. She widened her mouth and clenched her teeth so hard she though she was going to break them. She had to get up. She wasn’t going to let that bitch beat her up like a dog.

She was hearing Lydia struggling against the two boys and crying and Anna straightened up. She grabbed the woman, who thought she had the upper hand, by surprise and caught her fist in her hand. She kicked her in the abdomen, sending her to the ground while she took the stick. The woman went back at her but she had a weapon and she hit her side. The stick wasn’t so strong so it broke in two but she got hurt anyways. Anna grabbed the handle of her knife and someone jumped at her, pinning her down, pressing his knees against her throat. She coughed, having trouble to breathe. Her arms were stuck beneath her body but she tried harder and slipped her knife out of its sheath at her belt and waved her arm up in the air. The man yelled and fell to the side. She got on her knees, urging for air, breathing loudly and harshly, her hand on her neck. She looked around. Lydia was crying, curled up at her father’s feet. He glanced at his daughter with concern in his eyes as he crouched down, putting a comforting hand on Lydia’s back. Anna sat on the grass, still catching her breath.

“We were just trying to scare her.” Gage explained, staring at the tall man.

“Yo, Negan !” Another survivor of Alexandria, holding a pointy spear in his hand, arrived suddenly. “The hell is going on back here ?”

“Holy shit, Margo.” The brunette young man that was with them rushed to their friend’s side. “Margo !” She was her back against the wall, head bent on the side, blood all over. She was dead. The bitch got what she deserved. Anna got on her feet as her father stood up, staring at the woman’s corpse. He cursed soflty, sighing. Anna understood that he had caused her death, but it wasn’t on purpose given his tone.

In no time, people had gathered around them, mumbling in concert. Negan and Anna had been pushed aside and Daryl was the one crouched near Lydia. The poor girl was still shocked by what happened earlier, curled up on the grass.

“You, freak.” Gage spat out at Lydia's face. His friend took him by the shoulder and spoke up.

“It was Negan. Negan killed her ! And his fucking kid almost slit my throat !”

“Oh, get over it princess, I just cut your arm! You tried to choke me with your knee !” Anna yelled back, giving him a death stare. Her father held her by the arm to keep her from going at them and kept her by his side. Lydia was crying out that it wasn’t Negan’s fault and to leave him and Anna alone but no one listened obviously. The both of them were their scapegoats as of right now. They were the parias so they got blamed for the incident, when it should have been the other way around. The two boys assaulted Lydia and the woman tried to go after Anna when she came. They were at fault here, but nobody seemed to care.

“Now, get them out of here !” Daryl urged. A couple of survivors, including the one holding the spear, led them to the basement with the cell and locked the both of them up. As they walked away, Anna could still hear Lydia crying out that they did nothing wrong and Daryl tried his best to calm her down. Negan sat down on the bed and Anna joined him, wrapping her arms around her legs, her head resting on the cold wall.

“Oh, fuck this…” Anna breathed out, closing her eyes, swallowing harshly.

“Are you okay ?”

“I guess. I’m gonna have a nasty bruise on my neck but, you know… at least one of them’s dead, so…” Keeping her head on the wall, she rolled it to the side and looked at her father and shrugged. “I froze.” He stayed silent as she slipped in his arms, curled up on the bed. He listened, not knowing what she was talking about just yet. “I heard noises and I went to check and I saw them, attacking Lydia and– and I froze. I couldn’t move but this Margo, she took advantage of it because I was weak, at her mercy. I fought her back, then her dickhead of a friend, not Gage, the other one, he tried to crush my neck with his fucking knee.”

“I know.” He said softly, staring ahead of him as she talked. “When I arrived, I saw you choking for air. But you made it, apple pie.”

“I thought I was strong.”

“It’s not only about being strong, Anna. You’re so much more. You’re like your mom and I, you’re fierce, and you’re not easily fooled. When people do wrong by you or someone you’re close to, you feel the need to teach them a lesson but, you’ve been through a lot too. You have your share of traumas.”

“You’re back.” She breathed out. He looked down at her, frowning slightly, curious. “A few years ago, you would have told that we can't be weak, at any cost or we die. The Negan from the Savior would have said something like that, I think. But now, when I hear you, I hear my dad. And I’ve been waiting so much…” He stroke her hair, sighing.

“Let’s go to sleep. Take the bed.” She straightened up as he left the mattress and sat down on the floor. She knew that if she tried to tell him to sleep on the bed in her place, he would ask her to stop and go to sleep so she just looked at him and lied down.

“I love you, dad.”

“Love you too, baby.” And on those words, she rolled on her side, facing the wall and closed her eyes. When she was just falling asleep, she heard the door open and what sounded like Daryl’s voice talking to her father. She was just drowsing and too deep into it to move around and listen or say something so she just let herself slumbered after this eventful evening. She was exhausted.

Opening her eyes slowly, Anna stretched out her arms and yawned. She straightened up and as she turned her head, rubbing her eyes, she stopped moving and stared at the empty cell. Her dad wasn’t there. She slipped her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, frowning. She was looking around her, lost, not understanding why he wasn't there, where he had gone. She noticed the cell’s door wasn’t locked and she went to open it and rushed outside the basement, running to the street. She didn’t understand what was going on. Turning on her left, she saw Gabriel walking toward the house, his hands on his hips, lost in his thoughts, concerned.

“Gabriel !” Anna sprinted to him and he stopped suddenly when he saw her appear in front of him. He frowned, staring at her and instantly, seeing her outside, he glanced at the basement and understood the reason for the panick in her eyes. “He’s gone. Someone let him out.”

“Stay here.” He said as he walked at a quick pace to the cell and she watched him from the street, sighing. She felt a void in her stomach draining her energy and she sat down on the front steps of a house and stayed there for dozens of minutes, staring into space. She felt abandoned. She did not understand how and why his father would have left her side overnight. She felt like she needed to be angry because she was just so sad but something told her that he didn’t do it for no reason. Someone let him out, as she said. Someone let him out for a reason that served them and he had to go. He would never have left his daughter behind after just starting to renforce their bond. The morning past and she walked across Alexandria. Daryl was near the gate, on his motorbyke and looked at her walking over to him. Siddicq turned his head as well as he rode his horse, wondering why she was coming to them.

“You’re going to Hilltop ?”

“Yeah, why ?”

“I, uh… I want to go there. My father’s missing and I just want to go somewhere else…”

“All right. Let’s go.” He stared at her and motioned her to get on the bike and she did so, wrapping her arms around him to stay in place. The ride was made in silence, punctuated by the deafening hum of the motorbike. After a while, they arrived at Hilltop. They got let in and Daryl parked the bike in the entrance of the camp, letting Anna get down. A woman greeted Daryl from afar, smiling at him. Anna glanced at Daryl without question as he walked towards Ezekiel. The young blond woman heard them say that they had looked for Negan but found nothing for now. She looked away and sighed. Anna circled the camp, looking for Alden. He would be surprised, for sure. He certainly didn't expect to see her again after half a year. He was working at the Hilltop small forge and didn't notice her right away as she stood there, a few feet in front of him, focused on what he was doing. When he looked up, he stared at her for a few seconds, not really realizing it was her, until she turned her head to him and their eyes met.

“Anna ?” She walked over to him and they hugged as a greeting. It was one of the warmest greetings Anna ever had. She took a couple steps back and they faced each other. “How are you ? I haven’t seen you in months. What are you doing here ?”

“Do you remember what we promised each other ?” She asked, softly. Anna paused as he thought about it and nodded.

“Something’s wrong ?”

“My dad went missing last night. Someone let him out and they found no trace of him. But, that’s only one of the reasons why I came here to see you. I heard about Enid, and all those people the whisperers killed and, uh… I’m really sorry I didn’t come earlier.”

“It’s all right.” He cut her off, looking at her. “You’re here now.”

“Yeah, but… she was my friend, too. You two were kind of my only friends, and now that my father is god knows where doing god knows what, I was kinda lost. I didn’t really know what to do but I just needed a friend’s support.” He listened to her without saying much before running his hand through his hair. He gave her a friendly, compassionate look, which she returned.

“I get the feeling. I think the main thing that drove us apart was how much you’re attached to him, which I never really understood because I just viewed him as a brute, to be honest. No offense. But, I get it now and if you need me, I’ll be there for you, no problem.” She smiled, greatful as he continued. “I’ve got some work to finish so if you want to lend me a hand, I won’t say no.”

“Of course, boss.” She said, playfully, trying to cheer the both of them up. Anna couldn’t really help at the forge as she had no skills in the field but she was useful in helping them prune the trunk of a tree that had fallen on one of their walls. The sleeves of her leather jacket tied around her waist, she cut the branches of the tree with a saw. From time to time, she exchanged a look with Alden, who was nearby, busy at the forge with an older man whose name Anna did not know yet. He seemed to be like a kind of mentor for the young man. At the end of the day, Alden showed Anna his trailer. For the short time she was going to stay here, he would take care of where she slept. He vouched for her, within the Hilltop. Some people still had preconceptions about the young woman and Maggie wouldn't be particularly happy to see her wandering around quietly here.

“You can sleep on the bed, I’ll take the couch.” She nodded while he searched for stuff in the room, probably food, opening and closing cupboards. This was probably his rations that he stored in there, which sounded obvious now that she thought about it. He took a couple glasses and a bottle of alcohol and put them all on a table. She looked through the window. Night had fallen outside. The sky would have been completely pitch black if it was not for the stars’ lights. He poured them the drinks and Anna grabbed her glass and took a sip, seated on the bed. She saw his eyes look down at the small scars on her arm. They were healed and looked like thin white curled lines and since her skin tone was light as well it faded into it expect if you purposely stared at it. They were deep but not so big. He took a sip of his drink. “It’s crazy.”

“Yeah, it sure as hell is.” She nodded, drinking. “I feel like it’s so useles that I can survive this, I mean, I can’t help ‘cause we don’t have the equipment to do whatever needs to be done.”

“You’ve always been above everyone else. High and mighty Anna.” He joked.

“The mighty feels rather useless to be honest. I still feel bad about it…”

“About what ?” He inquired.

“I still feel like I could have done something different, like, I could have done something to help Carl. I could have saved him.” She heard him breathe out, heavily.

“We all feel bad about something, eventually.” They both nodded at his remark and kept talking about everything and anything for hours. After a while, they had gotten drunk enough to dance together around the room, laughing. A drop of her drink had landed on the floor and at some point, she stepped on it and slipped over the couch, grabbing Alden’s arm for some support but dragging him in her fall instead. Their faces got dangerously close and they stared into each other’s eyes in silence, without moving, as if they were paralyzed, feeling each other’s breath licking their skins. Holding onto the couch so as not to crush her as he was on top of her, he never took his eyes off her and slowly brought his face closer, brushing the tip of her nose before pressing his lips against hers. The sweet taste of his lips was mixed with the bitterness of the alcohol he drank. She had never lived something like this, not even close. She didn’t know how she was feeling about it right now because she was too immersed in the moment to think about anything else than him, his lips, his kiss and his touch.

[To be continued…]

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Published (02/20/2022) by Andrea

Taglist: @cathrin2405 @kika64

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aasthrielle · 4 years ago

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RUNDOWN: A trip back to the date that only brought immense grief, the history behind December twenty fourth

PAIRING: Kim Hongjoong x reader (f)

HEED: watch out for thin lines that serves as cuts, mainly in format of flashbacks/retelling, profanities, character death (IM SORRY TT), food mentions

WORDS: 8.5k

EXTRA: Masterlist

SOUNDTRACK: Winter Ghosts — Track 1

There were terrible times where you rouse from slumber with cold sweat that you overslept, feeling of trepidation soaring as you hold within yourself the thoughts that you aren’t able to attend those who anticipate your awakening early in the morning.

There are still awful moments in the evening where you find yourself fumbling with the locks of the front door, frantic with worry that the person behind the forbidding wood is irked by how you progress like a snail, only to register on your system that there’s no one waiting there.

And there are still pathetic occasions that you catch yourself gazing emptily at random spaces as the vibration of the opening of garage door ring your ears, its roaring too deep that even the walls quiver in horror, only to grasp the fleeing truth...oh, there’s no one to set foot in the garage anymore.

At such times, only the soothing presence of the female, Aeri, was there to witness and bear the ill atmosphere and the ceasing spark of joviality in your eyes.

“Today’s the day” the feminine voice shattered the glass-like barrier you isolated yourself with, together with the bubble of thoughts that burst into tiny particles as you whip your head towards the direction of your own bedroom door. There, stood Aeri as she secured the scarf by her neck, “I promise to be home by eight pm, I mean it this time” she lifted up her right palm as a pledge.

Your gaze softened as you crooned, eyes tracing the path she sauntered at as she melted away from your sight.

‘I promise to be home’ were always her words, the same one, every year, at this specific day, but none of those were fulfilled as the fledgling juvenile consistently arrived at dawn while staggering as if she’s drunk as a skunk. Without fail, Aeri plasters a sisyphean smile each time and an insincere sorry would be muttered under her breath before she sprint to her room, for her weeping to resonate later, unaware that you are around and no stranger to the evidence of her misery,

but you can’t do anything.

Gathering all the strength to summon the vibrancy in your eyes once again, you pushed yourself out of the bed to tread towards the living room whilst smoothening the pajamas and tousled hair you got. However, you didn’t envisage the figure of a lass by the front door. “What are you doing? You would be late for your first period” you grumbled, and Aeri only chewed on her bottom lip in slight embarrassment, but won’t egress.

You exhaled as you advanced towards her, seizing her arms as you unlocked the front door to shove her out of the house.

The ruthless frigid weather clashed against your features. “The bus must be on its way” you mouthed as you scan the female’s frame who acted like she’s an unmoving figurine all of a sudden, enduring the negative thirty temperature.

“I don’t want to leave you” Aeri halted the closing of the entrance, “Not, when I know you are burdened by him, too”

There are only echoes from unknown shadows of memories, the reaching hands of hope and despair in one as the black and white series of film-like images flash inside your mind every time you try to recall everything about him.

You first became conscious of his presence the moment he became the talk of your friends. The earliest recollection may have been the perking of your ears as you recognized the name your pal had mentioned, “Kim Hongjoong, I used to be in the same class as him” series of ‘oh’ and hum of understanding erupted from your peers’ throats with enough control to seem inaudible inside the cineplex.

Vivian, one of your companions, however, unveiled too much curiousity and she nudged your elbow to question you more regarding Hongjoong, who infected her with ‘infatuation.’

“Used?” Her doe eyes focused on you, awaiting for an answer

“He dropped the subject after a week” you replied before chewing more popcorn whilst watching the film that is currently rolling. “It was Instrumental Music, by the way”

“Why do you think he withdrew from that?” and the best gesture you could present that time was a shrug of shoulders before darting towards the theater screen again.

Kim Hongjoong, one of the average joe in the same high school as you. That youngster who likes to dye his hair unnatural colors, in which his buddies would endlessly jest about by commenting that he wants to stand out among his fellows. Besides that, you are not equipped with much knowledge regarding that person as you rarely overhear things about Hongjoong, except a few encounters with him that made you puzzled: How can someone ooze with such extreme energy of gentleness?

Time flew in a blur that night that you can’t even recollect when did the flick ended but only the remnants of tears left in your cheeks and the teasing of “Y/n is a cry baby” are what refreshes your memory of the movie as you and your companions walk out of the darkness that hugs the large space of the theater. Your feet proceeded to the quiet halls of the cinema building, your eyes roaming around at random places like the claw machines by the side.

You might have gawked for too long at the particular zone and it sent you bumping into one of your friend’s backs, but your effort to apologize was futile. They all seem to be too captivated by something — in this case, someone — forms frozen into sculptures in the middle of the way as they acknowledge that one friend group, the one where that silver haired boy, Hongjoong, belongs.

Vivian was pushed to Hongjoong and they just smiled, scratching their napes right after as they stood in front of one another with no clue what to do next but to bid their farewells to part ways. Your pals waved them goodbye and so did you, all the while having Hongjoong’s eyes land on you as he plaster a coy smile which you returned with a small wave of hands,

and you were positive as heck that you earned those ultimate questioning gazes from your companions, specially from that one female.

“What was that, y/n?”

You were damned,

You already perceived

Right when Vivian hurls that question onto you the next morning when you set foot in the classroom for history class. She shoots you a mystified look as her eyebrows knit together, “What’s what?” you narrowed your eyes at her, playing the role of a befuddled friend as you seek the words from her to verify that her tantrums is all about that lame waving incident at the theater.

“Do you like Hongjoong too?” She uttered and you almost choked from her straightforwardness. “What do you mean? No!” Vivian’s bottom lip protruded in mere jealousy before breathing a sigh of relief. “You are my confidant, I don’t want us to crumble anytime soon” the female then settled her hand on top of yours on the desk, “I have nothing for him, I swear” you assured.

“Of course, you don’t” Vivian brush her thumb against your phalanges

You don’t, right?

But that part is unclear, very unclear

as to how the thoughts dispersed, and the next series of flashbacks was you dispensed and dispense bills on the claw machine when dismissals came that day, summoning all the luck but got none, much to your dismay.

“Ah, you are truly unlucky in this type of stuff” someone verbalized. As if all the misspent cash wasn’t a big thwack on your face already, an individual just had to whack it right into you. With a creased forehead, you whip your head only to be greeted by the person who messed your mind all day long, Hongjoong.

A sneer escaped your throat as you talk back at him, “As if you got one already” the tone was mocking, and you went back to your business as you dispensed another bill before a pair of arms pushed you aside

“But I will” he answered, that made an annoyed expression climb up your features as you watch him play with the joystick. “See?” a chuckle erupted from Hongjoong as he waved around the stuffed toy that he got.

“That’s mine, you used the bill that I dispensed” you exclaimed, protesting as your hand flew in the air in disbelief. “It was my effort,” he responded calmly. You stare at him in disbelief, mind screaming at that moment — Vivian’s type must be those pesky boys.

Hongjoong battled with the grin that’s desperate to shoot up his lips as he gazes at the bewilderment plastered in your face. He then fished out a bill from his pockets, ready to determine his luck and make it up for his bothersome attitude. Fortunately, “There you go, doll” he handed you the prize with the ends of his lips twitching in an amused smile as the irritation flew out of your features instantly.

“You’re welcome, y/n” you blinked when he spoke again. Hongjoong sent a wink your way before exiting the store, leaving your baffled self in there as your grip on the toy tightened.

It was supposed to be a one time thing, but is coincidence supposed to happen again and again like it was an endless cycle? Are you supposed to fear for the sake of your heart?

“Hi, y/n” Hongjoong greeted as soon as your familiar face became visible in his eyesight the next day. There, you stand in front of the counter of the tea shop you didn’t even know that he works at, yet you faked that you did not recognize him, nor his warm welcoming. “One honey grapefruit tea and madeleines” you uttered, eyeing straight at the huge monitors of the menu behind him.

“It’s on me” he beamed whilst he punched your order. Your eyebrows pressed together in skepticism, hands pulling out your card to pay. “I said, it’s on me” he spoke slowly, emphasizing every word as if you didn’t hear it clearly the first time.

“Why are you being too friendly?” you stressed on the ‘too’, eyes squinting at him. “Why? Are you mistaking it for something else?” he retorted, making the fierceness inside you melt away in an instant.

“I’m just asking” your low voice seemed inaudible, “You like playing with people, don’t you?” but the added sentence was high and detectable, powered by the renewed fieriness of your attitude.

Hongjoong stifled the laughter that bubbled up his throat, a mischievous smile emerging instead before he left to prepare your order like the cocky little shit that he is.

You thought that that was the last. You weren’t sure. But is coincidence supposed to happen again and again like it was an endless cycle? Are you supposed to fear for the sake of your heart?

You extended your arm, letting the dots of rain hit your palm as you watched how the downpour blurred out the surroundings. “I got you” a voice coming out of nowhere disrupted your solitude. A burst of panic soars up your chest, only to descend to your stomach when you see him, again. “Kim Hongjoong, what the actual fuck!” you clutched your chest as you scowled at his figure that went frozen from your choice of language.

“Ha, got the face of an angel but with a vulgar mouth” he jests, bumping his own elbow to yours. “Are you a mushroom? You keep popping out of nowhere” your high pitched voice reverberates, brushing aside Hongjoong’s remark.

“Consider me your savior” he opened the umbrella in his hands, “You can always depend on me” Hongjoong tapped on his shoulder, grabbing you together with him under the umbrella. The two of you left the school building in silence, without you protesting for once.

He sent you home that evening, redeeming himself that he can — in fact, be not aggravating from your point of view.

“You can come inside and have a coffee, tea, or anything if you would like” you offered as soon as you reached home, stepping slightly from inside the door to let him in while you wiped the remains of the sky’s tears in your arms. He gazes at you softly, standing there with the umbrella in his hands.

“No, thank you. My house is far from here and I’ll surely arrive there late if I stay” he selflessly refused your generosity, earning a simple nod of understanding from you.

“See you tomorrow, y/n” so you let him go with an awkward wave of hands, noticing his little habit of tucking his thumb whenever he waves. But it was too late for you to see his soaked shoulders as you watched him saunter away.

The happenings were ceaseless and you are wise enough to know that you might never rouse from your hallucination that you will forever be with him, especially when you spotted him the next morning in front of your abode. Hongjoong was absentmindedly kicking the pebbles whilst he walked in circles. The moment your shoe tapped on the solid pavement, he’s alerted by your presence and started marching past your dwelling place.

“Why are you here?” you amplified your voice as you speed after him. He clumsily looked back, feet hastening even more. “Me? I just happen to walk past here” Hongjoong replied, head turning back to focus ahead of him. “You told me you live far from here” both of your steps halted, him almost tripping in thin air. “You liar!” you shouted, pointing an accusing finger at him as you laugh.

“I was waiting for you” his tone was serious, with his solemn face that was directed to you. The curl of your lips was washed away, to be replaced by a hollow feeling inside your stomach and perplexed expression.

“I was waiting for you,” that kept spiraling in your head, occupying every possible space. You just can’t seem to forget it, that even in history class your thoughts circle around him even though the lecturer is literally presenting in the front.

Your head whipped to survey Vivian who’s settled beside you. Rue creeped up your spine as an idea pops on your mind. Is this treachery? Or maybe you are just trying to find happiness that no other friend could give.

All of a sudden, you are remorseful about being with Hongjoong everyday. But it was the kind of guilt that is not capable of making you refrain from connecting to him. Everything might have been a mistake, yet you are willing to commit this sweet blunder over and over again

And so you let yourself plummet deeper into the pits of deception that colors your brain with nothing but misinterpretation of feelings and sugared fantasy that will soon turn into splintered hearts and torn friendships.

You were astonished when you found out about Hongjoong’s passion for music, especially his setup. The only question is why did he loosen his grip on Instrumental Music. He would shrug his shoulders every time the matter is brought up, but when you heard that he is actually a writer for the school’s newspaper, it instantly pinged that he will be pursuing something else that he likes.

As complicated as the situation can get, Vivian registered the fact that there’s absolutely no way her penchant for Hongjoong will bloom into something more if she doesn’t move. She began greeting him in the hallways whenever they stumble upon each other, and Hongjoong’s quick to respond with an equally enthusiastic reply before switching his attention to you who happens to be beside your friend all the time.

It’s too awkward, but you can’t hold either of them accountable for how tangled the condition ended up because it was you who squeezed them in between a knotted rope of complexity. She doesn’t know the friendship between you and Hongjoong, and he’s oblivious of her feelings, or at least pretending to.

Vivian would always just spare a glance at you with questioning eyes, and you will shake your head side by side as an unclear answer.

But the magnetic pull of running across Hongjoong is more inevitable than worrying over your dearest friend.

“Our assignment wants us to try writing a basic news article” you told Hongjoong briskly, one evening when you stayed at his place after dismissals. You lay on your stomach on top of his bed while he’s flumped on the floor, tapping on his phone continuously. “I can help you with that” his attention flickered from his gadget to you, beaming as he join you to look at the papers filled with instructions.

“Sure you can! You never told me you write articles” you exclaimed, “Just simple sports papers” he corrected, scooting even closer.

“And you never asked” Hongjoong added and a frown immediately pop up on your face. Doesn’t friends share information together? but you shrugged it all off, maybe he’s taking it slow, step by step.

“Whatever, just give me tips” he began unfolding some of his knowledge and advice, and you can only nod your head at everything although your head throbs from the ridiculous amount of information that he wants you to absorb.

The ‘taking-it-slow’ stage might have been tortoise-like from how slow it is taking, letting the creeping arms of conflict seize the precious time and formed bond, to break it into pieces and let the dispute arise from shards of broken trust.

As bitter as the iced americano that landed in front of the table that you share with Hongjoong, the atmosphere have turned as dark and awful

“You told me...” then there was a long pause

Your jaw almost dropped to the floor in surprise when you saw Vivian, holding the cup of coffee that touched down the table. Together with her is your circle of friends, staring at the scene with disappointment, some revulsion, unveiled on their faces. You cannot speak, you cannot react, like your voice was taken away and your ability to move was stolen.

Your best friend ran outside to cool herself off and you followed, leaving Hongjoong sitting there alone, stunned. You heard your friends click their tongues when you walked past but you paid no mind to it.

She was advancing towards nowhere quickly, and you tried to catch after her. “Viv” you grasped her arm, calling out her name to say something at least, even though you know there’s no way you could fix the damage you have done. “Viv, I swear,” you throw your other hand in the air, “I am going to tell you about it, I’m just trying to find the right time” she swatted your hand as if you were a carrier of a deadly disease, her face flashing series of pain, gloom, and irritation in parade.

“Still, you told me you would never!” her voice raised, cracking mid-sentence. Of course, she was shattered, how could she not? Broken that your friendship needs to be fragmented by just mere feelings but she couldn’t stop herself, because it was the trust and promises that were smashed into tiny bits that will never be repaired.

“I’m sorry” is all that you could say as you lower your head, hands falling beside you limply. “You know about my feelings, y/n. I’m so transparent with you – I trusted you” she inhaled, like sucking in the tears that she wanted to fall but she wasn’t the type to display her delicate self. “How can I trust you again, if I can’t even have faith in you about small things anymore” and with her words, you felt like the weight of mountains were laid on both of your shoulders.

“We...we are just good friends” you stammered, releasing a final reasoning that formed a bitter aftertaste on your mouth. “And next day, next week, or maybe next month, I’ll find out that you two are dating?” Vivian scoffed, “Cut the lies, y/n. I am not stopping you from anything, I just wished that you could’ve told me earlier” she waved her hands in the air as she walked away, avoiding getting closer to your frozen figure.

You spin on your heels, seeing Hongjoong looking at you with sympathy in his eyes, and your friend group who’s giving you dirty looks before they walk together with Vivian.

Wretchedness ate you up. You ignored Hongjoong’s presence that tails you like a lost puppy after that incident. You had entered the café again to gather your belongings, then you trudge, trudge, and trudge while he accompanies you. When your feet got sore and the blackness of the night settled in the once bright sky, you stopped by at the playground that you come across.

The field was silent, no other people, just you and him together with an awkward atmosphere. “Why won’t you go away, do I owe you something?” you shoot a question as you sit down on one of the swings, “Just leave” you added immediately before he could even say something.

“I can’t leave you alone, because your eyes scream at me that you need someone to lean onto,” he answered, settling himself on another swing beside you.

You heave a sigh, resting your head on the side while you sway yourself slightly. “You don’t know what’s happening don’t you?” you chuckled humorlessly before a scowl climbed up your face.

“I just figured it out today” Hongjoong bit his bottom lip in embarrassment. “Then why are you still acting like a leech – No” you spoke, changing your mind mid-sentence, “What are we?” his eyes widened in your sudden shift of question, his head turning to look at your form that was blankly gazing elsewhere.

He wasn’t afraid to tell you the answer sincerely, “What do you mean? Of course, we are friends” he smiled at you although you weren’t even focused on him. ‘Yeah, friends, what more?’ You laughed to yourself as you closed your eyes, leaning on the swing’s chain.

When the weekdays came, you went on with your usual routine. Vivian still sits beside you during history class. She still chats with you, rarely, with simple topics like the history lesson or do you know the answer for the activity because she’s willing to give you some. It wasn’t the same as before anymore where she would gossip with you, share how her day is going, or tell you her little stories while she was in the subway.

You felt so lost, sorry even, and so you opted to not be with your former social circle even though they invited you. It wasn’t a surprise that you have drifted away from your friends.

You sat in the cafeteria together with your books and lunch, messily stabbing the innocent food you were eating. “Your friends are there” a voice snapped you out of reverie. You lifted your head up to find Hongjoong in front of your table, index finger pointing at the table on the other side of the cafeteria.

“No shit sherlock” rolling your eyes at him, “They are not my friends anymore, not after that incident” you spoke before grabbing the nearest book by your side and flipping onto a random page to act like you are reading something.

“I’m so sorry to hear that, y/n” his voice was low, and he pressed his lips together into a thin line. “If you are really sorry, you shouldn’t be around me anymore and just stay back as far as you can.” Your right hand held the book tightly to hide your face, while the left moved to gesture like you were pushing someone away slowly.

“Please” you implored. Seconds later, you heard the chair move and his footsteps walking away, but the temporary tranquility was broken when he came back running to you. “Don’t tell me that you are abandoning our plans! Are you going to leave me hanging today? You promised that we’re having a movie night scheduled today” your eyes narrowed in his attempt of guilt tripping, earning a groan from you.

“And you are reading the book upside down” he added before hastily waddling away. You put the book down, eyes blown wide in realization that you are, indeed, holding it the wrong way.

You have told yourself “No, y/n. You are not facing him anymore, no interactions, nothing” a millions times the day, yet you found yourself situated in his place that night, cuddled up in bed as the lame film play.

“The film is...messy?” you talked drowsily, whipping your head on his figure beside you, asking silently if he agreed. Hongjoong nodded nonchalantly, lips protruding as his eyes were fixated anywhere but the TV.

There was something, like a magic spell beneath his tantalizing half-lidded eyes, because right then, you don’t care about anything but just him.

You sat up, and his eyes trailed on what you were doing until you leaned in, grabbing his nape. The moment your lips touched his, you felt like the freezing dullness of the air was remedied by his burning warmth, liquefying the ice of vast emptiness in your heart into a seething felicity and lust. Your hands were electrified, tremors shooting in your palms for it to falter.

You were about to pull away, but he wasn’t going to let you slip away from what you’ve started. His hand gripped the back of your head, guiding your lips against his as he continued controlling the growing eagerness, the film on the television long forgotten.

You were relieved that Vivian didn’t bother to even tyrannize you, she never did draw closer to you anymore. But the next day, she unexpectedly collapsed herself gawky in front of you during lunch. You were puzzled on what she’s up to, especially when her hand flew to the lower side of her neck. “You should be cautious sometimes,” Vivian uttered slowly, as if sending a warning.

She placed a mirror and a tube of concealer in front of you before walking away. You picked up the mirror, staring at your reflection until you realized what she meant and you just felt heavy like all the blood travelled up your head.

Starting from that day too, you started giving him hints. You wanted something more than what he calls ‘friends’, because truth to be told, friends do not fuck each other.

It’s either you would point at a random couple on the streets and he would just answer with “Oh they look cute” before continuing with his business. Or you asked him what he thinks about dating and he will respond with “Cute, but not for me.” You’ll admit that it was infuriating that the not so obvious clues were shrugged off by him as if it were all insignificant messages.

Still, there’s no way you will directly mention it and ask him first, your actions were already embarrassing enough.

You caught a fever out of the blue one day, with the suspicion that it was because of the previous night where you went home during a rain shower without an umbrella. You took an absence for school, muscle soreness and violent combat of freezing and scorching feeling on your skin too intolerable to even force yourself to lose brain cells.

What you didn’t expect is seeing Hongjoong’s frame standing by your room’s door during the afternoon. You sensed that he will never cast you aside like the good friend that he is.

Your eyes drifted onto the wall clock, seeing that it was currently class hours yet he’s there holding a lunch box with a reluctant glint in his eyes. Hongjoong ambled to your side, settling himself on the little space left on your mattress. The smell of warm stew wafted in the air the moment he opened the lid, and your forehead just creased when he started feeding you without mouthing even a single word

not even a fucking “Hello, y/n. How are you feeling?”

He was already packing the lunch box again, ready to leave when his vision landed on the spot near your headboard, seeing the same stuffed toy that he gave you back from that claw machine encounter. A harsh blow of breath escaped past Hongjoong’s mouth, catching your attention.

“I think love you”

you felt like your breath hitched with his confession while he just stood there, with blank expression.

Your expression fell when he remained silent. Just like that?

“What did you say?” you dragged out your hoarse voice, eyebrows knitted together in his lack of intimacy. Is he an anti-romantic? you can only ask yourself, with no answer received.

“I said, I love you” he coughed after his sentence, like trying to hide the cringeworthy atmosphere he created inside the small space of the room. You rolled your eyes from his bad acting, “You sound like a monotone student that doesn’t want to present in front of the class” you muttered, disappointment painted in your face but with a spark of triumph deep inside.

“I just realized,” Hongjoong scratched his nape, “that you always get my heart throbbing” he pauses every now and then as he stood without confidence while having the lunch box in his hands. “I just feel like I want to be with you all the time” a hum left your lips, kind of satisfied with what he’s saying. “Plus, these stupid butterflies I feel whenever you were there!” he finished his sentence quickly, “And now, I want to take care of you! What have you done to me”

He was straight up whining that elicited a hoarse chuckle from you.

If he could only kiss you right then, but you were ill. Hongjoong set down the lunch box with a thud. The least he could do is snuggle up on the expanse of your neck, so he did, sharing the warmness of deep affection that he couldn’t express verbally.

The two of you began dating from then on, the journey like a sailing ship in the middle of crashing waves. Sometimes unmanageable, sometimes calm. Although different hectic schedules, he tries to fit you in, and you try to reciprocate the efforts as well.

Hongjoong would join you during lunch for a few minutes, sending you home as quickly as possible before proceeding to his journalism practice, or walking past your classroom whenever he’s free. Whilst you try to send him snacks during writing practice and help him with his assignments in the evening.

“That setup, I wanted to write music not news articles” he disclosed on night when you dropped by over their house. You gazed at the number of instruments arranged neatly together with heaps of papers, laptop, and pencils.

“But they, ah, they want me to write instead” he paused for a while, “My family, no, oh, just my parents, not the entire family – They wanted me to start as a school writer and later pursue journalism because they wanted to continue our name in the industry” he added with gloom laced within his tone.

Coming to think of it, his parents were both respectable thriller novel writers and his siblings were all different content writers too. It was comprehensible that they wished to maintain their legacy. “Why don’t you choose happiness over tradition?” you asked, “Because I hate to disappoint” he answered shortly.

“It sucks to be me, and don’t tell me you pity me” he chuckled humorlessly to himself before collapsing on the bed that made him bounce back a bit while you followed his frame with concern whirling beneath your eyes.

True to his words, Hongjoong really did end up as a sports writer under a publishing company, that renowned Voyager Gazette that houses lots of notable people in the field of broadcasting and writing.

You continued Instrumental music, starting your career as a backup singer or occasional guest at opera’s choir and theatre plays. Though you end up staying at home anyways, because it marks the seventh year of your relationship when he bestowed you with a little angel, a bundle of joy named Aeri.

Life wasn’t that smooth, it wasn’t supposed to be. Hongjoong’s rarely home, leaving you to keep an eye out for your daughter alone while he rove from one city to another to write about different sports events within the country. The weariness that he displayed every time was not new nor baffling, it was understandable, but his odd behavior was flustering.

He’s always furious, provoked when the infant bawls. He doesn’t want to go outside too, detaching himself from the world by locking himself in the house because he is “always outside” anyways. It’s like Hongjoong had gone astray, he had lost his spirit. ‘Maybe it was fatigue’ was your conclusion, maybe he just likes to have some time with himself.

Ultimately, he hasn’t even tied the knot with you, and he never once put the idea forward before bearing an offspring. You can’t quite point out why, but you don’t want to rush him, maybe he’s planning on it. A surprise, who knows?

So when he asked you one night while the two of you snuggled in bed, “Let’s get married” you felt like you were on cloud nine.

Days after, the three of you paid a visit to your parents’ residence to deliver the news and plans. It was a serene and remarkable moment for Hongjoong, but when it’s his parents’ turn to be dropped by, he cannot tell what idea is the best, run away or just bury himself in the ground to hide?

You thought that a simple dinner with his parents would go well, but when journalism began floating in the conversation, you just grasped that the night was bound to be ravaged by a sealed temper and poisonous words ready to wound everyone around.

“I’m so proud of Hongjoong for not just pursuing article writing, but he also built a clean reputation tied with his name” his mother touched upon the topic, and you only let a half smile bloom as you embrace Aeri in your loving arms.

“Maybe Aeri could be a –”

“I’ll quit soon and pursue music” Hongjoong chorused, earning a stern look from his father and drawing an exasperated sigh from his mother. “You can’t do that” his mom was the one to cut the silence.

“I want to, and I will” Hongjoong emphasized on his words, speaking informally.

The old woman striked the table with her bare hands, standing up as her arm swung to reach him. Your eyes peeled out of its sockets as you witnessed how her slap emblazoned a scarlet bruise on his cheek.

“Why would you waste money on another occupation when you have a decent salary in journalism? Aren’t you thinking about your family? How about the future of your daughter?” she grumbled while your body was frozen in shock.

Aeri’s sobs resonated across the house as her tiny arms stretched out to poke Hongjoong, the little child’s heart shattered as to how her father was treated unjustly. The least you could do was tone down the shrill voice of the girl, both your hands working to pat Hongjoong and Aeri’s backs to soothe them whilst you gaze at Hongjoong’s eyes where unshed tears well up as he sat there straightly and quietly.

The mood shifted from peaceful to sour, and since you were scheduled to spend the rest of the night in his parents’ abode to avoid the eight hour long drive, the mental strain penetrated each others’ brain even more.

After the meal, Hongjoong made his way outside. You considered that maybe, he’s just desperate for the touch of fresh air and to break free from the confinement of that hell hole for a while, but when it took an hour and he’s not returning, you became agitated.

You laid Aeri’s sleeping figure on the mattress, cocooned by thick pillows and velvet throw before proceeding outdoors only to spot Hongjoong inside the car, lights open as he fumbled on the glove box.

“Get inside the house” you knocked softly on the vehicle’s window, demanding him to at least roll them down. Hongjoong did, though just a tiny bit to be able to hear you clearly. “You should be resting inside, just hang in there and sleep with Aeri. I’ll be staying here” he replied, not bothering to even look at you as he turned the vehicle’s lights off.

“It is winter, it’s too cold in there” you even shivered when a sudden gust of wind blew past you, tiny snowflakes stuck in your hair and cardigan.

“Never heard of heater, y/n?” Hongjoong glanced at you, face void of any emotions but his eyes were yelling in pain. You scoffed, ready to shower him with your nagging but he rolled the windows up again, turning a deaf ear against your banging and grabbing of the car’s door handle to let you in.

You drove back home the next morning with a noiseless yet tight atmosphere inside the vehicle.

You settled down Aeri in her crib and didn’t hold back for even a second before running your mouth to let strings of curses and scolding for Hongjoong spill. He halted his steps, spinning on his heels with a stiff expression catapulted towards you.

“Just kill me, y/n”

You wanted him to stand up on his own and chase for his objective, but obviously, he’s as fragile as fine china held in between aggressive palms. You brushed his words aside, blinded by your own temper to even listen.

“I don’t understand why you’re still asking for validation from your parents when they definitely cannot give you that, not even peace of mind” you spit out, certainly ticking a nerve within him, his irritation detonating like a bomb.

“Just leave me! Because I am not the perfect partner that you are dreaming of” Hongjoong’s voice was rough, high-pitched and coated with annoyance that he had been bottling up for such a long time.

“This is why I never asked for marriage, but Aeri came and...” he paused, his words escaping so easily with no remorse traced in his features.

You were upset, heck, you were even livid, because how could he spew out all his feelings and words like they never meant anything to him?

You comprehended then that you could never desert him in a solitary life to be punished by the honed swords of despair that his mother’s degrading would forever penetrate his soul with because he is the underachiever son who turned into a father that secured nothing but possible catastrophe.

Even so, that doesn’t suggest that you are not galled by his impulsiveness.

“You should think about everything that you have said, Kim Hongjoong” you remarked in between gritted teeth.

A giant lump was stuck in your throat, tears trapped at the back of your eyes. He loves his daughter, of course he does. You convinced yourself repeatedly that he does, he’s just in agony.

You didn’t want Aeri to grow up thinking she’s unwanted by her own father, that’s too much.

You let your ill temper ignite, for it to grow cold and become ashes that was soon blown away by time and pity for your husband’s existence that was filled with sorrow and sufferings. Hongjoong reconciled with you after a week, approaching you in the kitchen as you prepared the oven to bake some side dishes.

“I-it never came across my mind that you weren’t really happy” dense, very dense, you know. After all the signs that he slowly unveils, you still believed the idea that it was just exhaustion since their office was too occupied with simultaneous events, travels back and forth, and drafts piled up like mountains.

Your relationship really wasn’t as perfect as you dreamt. But you don’t need it to be flawless, you just need it to be bearable, because as long as he’s there by your side and Aeri, you are complete.

“I thought you have learned to embrace what you are doing and finally enjoy” you lowered your head, clasping the oven mittens in your hands. Hongjoong pulled you away from the range, cradling you from the side as he rested his chin on your shoulders.

“I can’t come to a concrete decision as of now but I’m thinking about the future, hard, but still considering all consequences” he mumbled.

“Just know that we are here for you, we will never leave you for anything” you clutched on his arms that were wrapped around you, tenderness soaring up your face as you think about how he’s finally overcoming his fears.

December twenty two, you woke up with the shrill whistling of the kettle in the kitchen. You scrambled to check the window, feeling the frigid climate against your palms as you touch the glass while gazing at the rising sun. The surrounding was tucked in blankets of thick white snow that had fallen last night, the multiple layers slowly being melted by the smiling sun.

“Quit from that – whatever Gazette, just pursue music” you packed his lunch, handing it to him with words of encouragement. “Your parents don’t need to know, we’ll get through it together. Never mind what they would say” you uttered, earning a light chuckle and an enthusiastic nod from Hongjoong.

His lips twisted into a smile, eyes swelling with unshed tears as he thought: how did he even end up so lucky to have you and this family?

He left that morning, flying to another city to cover a winter sports event.

It’s been a long time since there was minimum effort put into your humble abode, and so you decided to place some decorations that day. There are wreaths by the front door, fairy lights on the walls, lanterns hung, a Christmas tree standing tall and marvelously, even a feast is dished up on the table as an advanced celebration.

The little girl seemed to be charmed by the ornaments as she continuously giggled, reaching for the nearest decorations every now and then.

Hongjoong went home appearing vibrant unlike before. How could he not be ecstatic, when he is being greeted with a bright and new environment together with his high-spirited family that he loves the most.

December twenty three, there was zero visibility. You sat in front of the television with a mug of hot chocolate in your hands, hearing the morning announcement that there will be a heavy snowfall reaching up to twenty five centimeters. Your eyes switched from the TV to the window, seeing the indigo sky with specks of white snow falling miserably.

“I’m quitting today” Hongjoong scrambled to the living room, tying his tie. You whipped your head, instantly standing up to hand him a tumbler of hot coffee. “I’ll end this all...writing stuff” he plastered the widest grin he could muster, drawing a soft hum from you.

“And I’ll marry you. That’s the last thing I wanted, I want it all settled first” he assured, raising his palm while you fix his collar. “I’m not in a rush” you replied, smoothening imaginary creases in his uniform as you shoot him a genuine smile.

He walked up to his daughter in the play mat, kissing her goodbye in the forehead before he waved and went out of the door.

“Take care!”

All those smiles, those grins, they were all meant to be erased right? If only you have seen all those times he turned his back, and all those smiles that flew away from his face the moment he exited that door.

Hongjoong did not come home that date, ringing you that he will be resting at the nearest inn that was provided by his employer due to risky driving conditions and because the freezing weather won’t let his car start.

“But I really want to go home” he whined to you as plop into the soft mattress of his suite, and you laughed at his persistence.

December twenty four, two am. The heavy snowfall hasn’t stopped yet, cloaking the surrounding with a thick disguise of milky and frosty layer to conceal the portrait of green, green environment.

You stir from sleep covered in sweat although it’s literally numbing cold outside. The heater must be set to a really high temperature, was your thoughts, but when your feet touched the chilly floor, you instantly peeled your soles away from the ground.

The blaring of your startling phone’s ringtone woke not just your senses up but also Aeri who was fast asleep in her own space. You hastened to look at the screen, seeing that it was Hongjoong’s father that was phoning you.

You swiped the screen to answer it, all the while striding to Aeri’s crib to pat and calm her down from her sobs of being woken up.

Hongjoong’s father spoke in a husky voice on the other line, his every word echoing in your ears, every bit of it, especially the hypnotizing sentence of distress and torture that spiraled in your mind.

The coldness kissed your skin, biting its way to creep up your nerves. It felt like all the windows and doors flew open although it was sealed shut. The breeze of winter air felt so real and penetrating, yet it was suffocating.

It was so bitterly cold, like your blood was drained out of your body, heart pounding in your ears as your hands went limp, halting the continuous pats for Aeri that made her shed tears even more.

“Where is he?”

“Where is my husband”

Before you knew it, you were inside his parent’s car after they fetched you together with Aeri. The drive was slow and careful due to the slippery road, and it only accumulated more tears in the back of your eyes as your heart throb painfully.

When you reached your destination, you were welcomed by the chalky white halls of the establishment where death lurks in every corner, leading to an eerie corridor that’s ivory in color.

“I” your voice cracked as you blankly stared at the solid glass windows shielded with closed dark green curtains, “I don’t believe it.” You stand there, clutching Aeri as you absorb the warmth that she radiates, hoping that the intense coldness of grief and anxiety that you feel will be eased.

And when the thin curtains were pushed aside, “I don’t believe you, stop lying!” your begging resounded across the empty halls of the morgue. His parents teared up as they gaze at the blanket’s shape bearing the resemblance of a familiar person.

You crumbled down on the floor with the little girl in your arms who was confused about the situation as she was quietly suckling on a pacifier. Aeri buried her head along your shoulders as she tried to doze off to sleep.

Your eyes stared at your faint reflection on the glass that separates you from him, indeed a miserable image that didn’t take long to be engraved in your mind vividly as it mirrors against the glossiness of your teary eyes.

The authorities later on approached the four of you, handing his belongings in a zip lock. His license, IDs, few family photographs, files and few sticky notes inside another reclosable plastic, and anything that could be saved from the wet and snow covered scene.

“But I really want to go home” his voice rang in your ears while you rock yourself back and forth

and now it’s the price he has to pay.

You could only picture how frightened Hongjoong was at that time.

There’s the screaming image of the frozen lake wishing to be noticed, its wicked arms and spell seducing him to come closer as if it were to whisper the most valuable secret. There’s that calling series of film-like glitching pictures, asking you, do you know how he felt all this time?

“He said his car won’t start” you murmured, pursing your lips in a thin line

“He’s staying at an inn, why would he drive out of nowhere?”

“Why would he even swerve in a frozen lake, that’s absurd”

“Is there no evidence of foul play?”

There were a bunch of questions yet nobody dared to answer even one.

“We just need you to be strong for Aeri” his mother uttered. But you did the opposite, the most pathetic thing to do; cry.

Tears trickled down your cheeks one by one, each drop symbolizing your bottled up emotions and feelings that flowed uncontrollably. Confusion, regret, woe, and exasperation that you didn’t even know why it exists.

“He wasn’t angry at you, maybe he did that because he’s angry at himself” spoke his vicious mother, “Because you achieved something that he cannot.” Your swollen eyes flickered to glare at her frame that stood behind your weeping figure.

“What are you saying, have you lost your mind?” you scoffed behind choked tears, jaw clenching when she opted to not respond.

You focused back on the glass windows in front of you, spilling tears coming to an end as if you have mourned enough.

It felt like all your dreams had been powdered into dust of nothing and uselessness yet it became hard for tears to be pushed, stuck under your eyes stubbornly. You knew then that you would eventually end up alone, in the rock bottom, all zero. Everything would be a new life with a missing piece and additional memories that will forever haunt you.

You used to depend on him all the time, salary, love, everything was all about him, and now that you have lost him, you don’t know where to even start.

“I don’t want you to leave me” your shoulders began shaking, your lower lip trembling and your voice quavered as hot tears poured down from your eyes.

Aeri then wrapped it around her head that she could never ditch you alone to be tortured by the whetted dagger of anguish that her father’s lamentable demise would forever jab into your heart because you became an incompetent inamorata and an aging mother that got deprived more than obtaining.

“I don’t want him to be gone inside my head, I want him back” you bawled, jaw numb from the endless ambush of snowflakes and sharp daggers of swishing air.

You don’t want his memories to be forgotten just like that. But there were dreadful thoughts that you might suddenly stir from sleep in the morning with the illusion that he is downstairs with his daily newspaper, caffeine filling his system like how you recalled he used to do.

There might be points where you will fail to distinguish reality from delusion. There are a lot of possibilities and scenarios for you to register that there is no him now.

“But I fear that I would start depending on him again” you uttered as you buried your face in between your palms.

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