#*f.ree | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pookamhura · 2 years ago

Video

youtube

Pookamhura | The Militia Song (Song)

ATTENTION MOON GUARD! The Alliance Militia For Low Level Immortals needs Twinks badly. Daddy Twinks (Level 29 xp/off) or Baby Twinks (Level 20 Free/Vet). We just need bodies to throw into the meat grinder.

But Pook, I hear you say. Role Playing and PvP don’t mix. Well let me answer this by telling you a little story about my relationship with World of Warcraft. I’ve played and loved this game since 2006. I’ve been gifted every expansion by my brother who loves the game too. I played on a PvE server, Silvermoon. I rarely raided. Did dungeons I liked. And would sometimes very meta RP with someone you met who gave off the vibe they’d be cool with it. Very meta.

Halfway through Shadowlands I unsubscribed. I didn’t unnsubscribe because the expansion was bad. I can usually find my own fun because WoW for me has always been a fun game to explore. I unsubscribed because I was doing some voice and music work on a friend’s claymation Virtual Fringe musical “Martians And Martinis” by the very talented Will Gillespie a composer and playwright. I knew I just wouldn’t be getting enough free time while the production of that virtual play was happening to justify paying for a subscription.

But I didn’t want to leave Azeroth.

It’s a world I loved since the minute I first stepped my gnomish foot into it. I played a gnome on Silvermoon named Chibisue. I picked the name because back in the early years of the internet I made a webcomic called Ghastly’s Ghastly Comic and one of the characters in that comic was named Chibi Sue and she looked very much like the way I drew this character (my comic predates WoW by a few years... ...yes I am very old). I fell in love with everything gnomish. I’ve rolled other races and classes as alts but nothing ever felt as comfy as a gnome rogue for me. I rarely made or played those poor forgotten alts.

So I thought to myself, well you’re an ancient theatre kid. Make a toon on Moon Guard and level it to the Vet account level cap of 20 and find something interesting to do on the biggest RP server, and hey why not see what a shit hole PvP is as the lowest level in the worst twink bracket.

Now Moon Guard. Let’s put a pin in that for a moment because boy oh boy do I have a lot to say about Moon Guard. I want to focus on the PvP right now. In those days, pre dragonflight the way a Trial/Vet account experienced PvP was like this. Trial/Vets (which we just call F2Ps for F.ree T.o P.lay but most of you probably know that) were in queues with Levelers and other F2Ps only. What this meant was as a F2P toon you could actually do significant damage in the BGs because few Levelers bothered to gear. Heirlooms when they’ve got them and whatever else the find along the way to endgame. There is absolutely no point to farm lower gear at this point. This meant a F2P with TBC gear could take down a mediocre geared level 29 if they played very smartly. This is what made being a F2P Baby Twink so appealing. You’re only level 20, and you’ve got a shot at taking down that level 29, but you gotta be smart.

Now Daddy Twinks, those are subscribed XPoff toons. They are the legendaries of the 20s bracket. Levelers hated them and complained and Blizzard listened to those complaints and moved XP off players into their own queues so it was nothing but Daddy Twinks pounding other Daddy Twinks. But there was an exploit and it was an exploit Blizzard created through their severe gimping of the Trial/Vet accounts. You see F2Ps cannot invite anyone to party. So when Baby Twinks want to make a premade they need a Daddy Twink to invite four Baby Twinks into the party. Now the Daddy Twink gets into the queues with the Baby Twinks and Levelers. A single Daddy Twink in that situation was like having a legendary hero show up if they were on your side, and it was like having a final boss villain come out of the fog if they were on the other side. One side was going to love it, one side was going to hate it. The levelers complained. Some Daddy Twinks played by a code of honour and took on leadership roles and would only seek out their opposite in the BG. The Daddy Twink would yell at the Baby Twinks, the Baby Twinks would either listen to or ridicule the Daddy Twink based on how much respect they had for that Daddy Twink. Some of the Daddy Twinks that fought with honour even tried to police it because they liked it it when the Baby Twinks knew they were bad ass even if the Levelers were pissing themselves when that Daddy Twink comes charging at them from across the field. Daddy Twinks wanted the Baby Twinks to swoon even if they were being tsundere.

But there was no way for the players to effectively self police to keep the Daddy Twinks in line. They’re practically gods in this bracket. So the Levelers were well in their rights to complain to Blizzard. Facing gods was not what they signed on for. Blizzard listened to the Levellers and did what the honourable Daddy Twinks feared most. They kicked the F2Ps out of the bracket with the Levelers and put them in the XPoff bracket. Daddy Twinks were now off the leash and pounded the Baby Twinks without mercy. It was all out war. It was hard to be useful in most classes as a Baby Twink, you really had to play by your wits and focus on the mission to feel like you were contributing when gods were pounding each other all around you.

Some Daddy Twinks loved this new dynamic. Some Daddy Twinks disliked it. There is a meme that Horde has Twinks and Alliance does not. It wasn’t really true. There was an Alliance Twinking guild called Golden Twinkies. It was a guild filled with some of the best Alliance Twinks, both during the days when they were playing Baby Twinks and even in the days when they switched to their Daddy Twinks. When the change came they did not enjoy this new Retail reality as much as they enjoyed WotLK Classic’s Twinking scene and the Pook respects that because they were an awesome guild to hang with as Baby Twink.

But their withdrawal from the field dealt a devastating blow to the Alliance. Now the Alliance truly did have fewer Twinks than the Horde, at least Fewer Daddy Twinks. The Horde’s Daddy Twinks pounded the remaining Ally Daddy and Baby Twinks relentlessly. And the Baby Twinks couldn’t take it anymore and most of them quit the game, and I don’t mean they switched to their Daddy Twinks I mean they quit WoW. You see, not everyone has the privileges I’ve had as I explored my way from Vanilla to Shadowlands. For some that $15 a month is not as easy as it was for me while i grew to love this world of Azeroth. For a lot being a lowly Baby Twink was the only way they could experience that same feeling I was able to pay for since Vanilla.

Where once the queues popped every 12 to 15 minutes and every half hour or so when it got really late at night now queues are popping every hour on a good night and every 5 hours on a bad night.. And it’s one side with 4 players and one side with 8 players.

So then why do I care? Why do I continue to play PvP in what is obviously the shittiest bracket? Why do I torture myself when for me I could sub and just play in the magical Leveler paradise called Endgame, where everything in every bracket below it sucks and can never be as good as? Because I’m not neuro-typical and I tend to find my own ways to entertain myself.

You see my education is in anthropology but I never became an anthropologist and instead chose the life of a starving artist. But the first thing I noticed when I played PvP in the 20s bracket was the culture. This was not at all the culture of the PvE server I experienced Azeroth on since Vanilla. I didn’t play PvP unless I was really bored. Dipped my toes in every now and then, but ugh the gear grind. Now I put myself into PvP and lived there and the cultural differences were amazing to behold. I became fascinated with studying this unique virtual culture. I loved studying it before Dragonflight queues and I still enjoy studying it even though it is a collapsing virtual culture. The “virtual” part goes a long way in taking the sting out of witnessing a culture collapse, just like the “virtual” part of PvP is a lot better than its IRL counterpart. I’m going to be there studying it until Blizzard makes it impossible for me to do so.

Now we get to Moon Guard. Oh! My! Gosh! You guys! YOU GUYS! Wow! WOW! As wonderful as it was to behold the cultural differences between PvE and PvP, the cultural differences between PvE and RP and absolutely mind blowing. I feel awed exploring Azeroth from this perspective on this server. I have been playing this game since Vanilla on PvE but I have never felt like I’m on Azeroth. As gimped as my F2P toon is in PvP it is also gimped for RP. The abilities of a F2P to engage socially with other players is severely limiting.

I am experiencing both these cultures from the experience of its lowest players and let me tell you some of the things I’ve learned studying the Twinks. The worse the bracket got, the fewer Sad Sacks there were, the ones who gripe and complain about their own team more than they play their class. The players who still show up even though it might be a 5 hour weight for Seething Shore to pop with 4v8 are probably some of the least toxic players I’ve seen. It is what it is and even in this shitty state of affairs it’s how they’re choosing to experience their love for the game World of Warcraft.

The bracket can be saved. The Horde does have more Twinks but they left when the Ally Twinks in Golden Twinkies left. If Alliance could only get more Twinks I’m sure the Horde Twinks would come back because they’d have a challenge.I can think of no better Server to recruit those Twinks from than Moon Guard and Moon Guard was the server the Golden Twinkies were on.

But why would RPers make good Daddy Twinks? Because this horrible, dysfunctional PvP bracket is one of the best grunt simulators ever. Let me present to you the Alliance Militia For Low Level Immortals.

One day you died. How, I don’t know. When you died there was a naked lady, told you you were special, can’t die until death is ready for you. Run back to your corpse come back to life. So you did. Next thing you know a recruiter for the Alliance Militia For Low Level Immortals approaches you. Says you show potential could be a real big shot with a little hard work and training. See the Horde has an army of immortals. So we need an army of immortals. What’s your mission? Sometimes it’s stealing flags, sometimes it’s stealing war candy, sometimes it’s stealing orbs. What do the Horde and Alliance need with that stuff? Sorry that’s above your pay grade. Best of all, you can keep whatever civilian job you got, we work around your schedule. Just sign up and fight for the Alliance.

Why does the Pook fight? Because sometimes it’s been Seething Shore, and it’s 5v8. The Horde have five, the Alliance lucked out for once and has eight. But then the Pook looks at the roster. Sees the names of the Horde. It’s a Daddy Twink, a Baby Twink and three noobs using the Trial account for what it was intended, to try out WoW and see if it’s a game they’d want to buy. I know that Horde Daddy Twink. I know that Horde Baby Twink. Then I look at our side. The Pook, three Baby Twinks and four green noobs wanting to see what World of Warcraft is all about. I look at the names of our Baby Twinks. I know none of these people are going to rage quit. They’re going to do their best to show those noobs a game. We got 8 and they’ve got five and I know this is going to be a close game but the Pook is going to steal as much war candy as she can get her little gnomish hands on.

Why do you fight? That’s your back story to write but if life has gotten you to a place where you’re considering joining up to hurry up and wait for the crappiest grunt work ever then the Pook will be honoured to fight with you.

Sometimes you’re between campaigns. Sometimes you’re just a little bored grinding dailies. Sometimes you want to change things up. You don’t have to join a guild, you don’t have to make it a regular thing. This bracket needs Twinks, Daddy Twinks and Baby Twinks because the noobs, the ones who are using the trial account to see if WoW is a game worth falling in love with, they’re not going to stick around if the queue times are 5 hours and the BG is 5v8. We need numbers because we need to get the queues popping quickly so WoW doesn’t look like a dead game. Noobs are going to understand they’re going to get pasted in PvP. It’s to be expected but the quality of the Daddy Twinks and the Baby Twinks pounding those Noobs will determine whether they think WoW is a game they’ll want to fall in love with.The few that are sticking around in this bracket are doing their best to keep the bracket going.

If my time on Moon Guard experiencing it as the lowest of the lows has taught me anything it’s that the players on Moon Guard certainly have the passion for World of Warcraft we need in this bracket to show those Noobs that WoW is a game worth falling in love with. Plus, you know, it will tackle the meme that Moon Guard can’t PvP.

Anyway, that gummy the night elf druid gave me has kicked in so I’ll have a baconator, large chocolate frostie, and large fries and the Pook has a few packets of hot sauce from Popeyes in the glove box so we gonna get festive tonight!

#youtube #world of warcraft #moon guard #rp #pvp #twink #I know that last tag will probably confuse some people #WoW

2 notes · View notes