#*i hate that i understand why these things suck and why they won't be fixed*

[erb23]

You know, if I didn't live through TA's stream of concious tweeting and tumblr posting about the show and his intended reading of every episode I might've been more on board with some of the writing in later seasons.

[noellefan101]

Staying on Campus During Winter Break, Twisted Wonderland-Pt 2

Reader cant go home to their family during winter break, and seems a little down in the dumps when their boyfriend talks about what they'll do at home themselves. What would he do to fix their now sad s/o? (+ some headcanons for the character, some with reader in mind)

Characters: Sebek, Idia, Ruggie, Kalim, Leona and Ace(all seperate) x Reader(gn)

saw someone else write smt like this and got ideas for it myself :> Original post

Part 1

Warnings: Reader is not yuu/mc, either your family lives too far away or are occupied, maybe they're real shitty you choose. reader is usually the same grade as the character, very ooc. gn reader

Sebek

If he sees you down he'll immediately assume someone dare harm you, so please deal with that first.

Although after finding out about your predicament, he'll resume to, uhhh, doing Sebek things. Like yelling to "comfort" you, while frantically texting his parents to request permission for your stay.

He would not usually have wanted you to meet his family like that, preferring more traditional ways, but he'll set that aside for a moment in an effort to comfort his beloved.

In the rare chance that his parents don't allow your stay, he'll call you every hour to ensure you're doing alright. Although he won't actually admit that's why he's calling.

And it absolutely isn't because he misses your voice, no matter how little time has passed since the last time he called. What a preposterous assumption.

"HUMAN! THIS IS FOOLISH, YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL SAD OVER SUCH TRVIAL MATTERS! WHY? WEL-WELL BECAUSE *cough* because you may stay with me and my family instead... if you'd like to that is, so you won't have to stay at campus.."

(he hates his ears, because they aren't like the other fae. But he has 100% tried to mold something around his ears to make them pointed, like that fake skin or just clay.)

Idia

He does NOT wanna go home, and is so happy he now has an excuse to stay with you instead of being put to work at STYX. Although he can see why you'd be bummed out, cuz yeah NRC sucks.

Yes, he loves his parents and all, but he can't deal with all the side quests he gets whenever he just exists. And there's no way he brings you to STYX when he'll just get quizzed 24/7 as well.

Also sees no reason for you to be sad about it, but understands how horrible it is to stay at school when you just want to relax back home.

Idia will try his best to comfort you, but might just leave that to Ortho and suggest some games to play with him to distract you. He has a whole list of things he thinks you'll enjoy, plus some of your favorite snacks.

You'll be staying in his room for most of the winter break, playing games and watching anime with him and Ortho while chatting about lots of stupid things.

"Y-Yeah you're uhh welcome, or whatever. Now theres this anime that just came out, and uuhh you kinda promised me you'd watch something with me. It should cheer you up too.. ew thats so corny."

(Despite calling a bunch of stuff 'outdated crap' when it comes to not so modern technology, he definitely keeps and looks for old cd's for his favorite games and maybe some songs. like a true dweeb.)

Ruggie

Ears down, sad eyes, frown and tears in the corner of his eyes... that's what you'll be looking at for the next five minutes when you told Ruggie about your predicament.

But that doesn't mean he's taking you home with him, no, it's precisely because he can't that he's devastated. I mean he could, but that would be such a bad idea and you'd have it worse than at NRC. And he'd like to prepare you for that, since he doesn't want to experience that without being a good street smartie.

It's just now he also has to debate whether to stay with you or go home to gramma and the other hyenas back in the slums... He loves you a lot and trusts that you will be fully safe at campus, so he chooses to go home for the break as previously planned.

Please call him whenever you get endangered of any sort, does no matter if you just fell and got a scratch. Call. Him. He needs to now his partner is alright, and would rather not get back only then knowing you got hurt.

"Hello? Aah, Sweetcakes! You ok? Did something happen? ...Hey I'm busy you know.. come on, when i said you could call me i was talking about when you're in danger, not this. No i like when you talk it's not that. What, you flustered now? shhishishi"

(has a handmade plush thats in absolute dismay and screaming to be put down. its made from rags that couldnt be worn anymore and put to new use by his grandmother. leona has given it looks many times, being disgusted by its existence whenever he spots it. ruggie is just too attached to let it go though.)

Kalim

You should really have told him sooner, and he would have properly invited you to the scalding sands with him. But that doesn't mean you aren't coming home with him no. It'll just be more like staying at your boyfriends house, and not as if you were at a super expensive hotel.

Because yeah, he loves sharing a room with you, but you would probably have had your own apartment sized room to stay in, had you talked to him earlier.

Yet you didn't do that, and can stay close to Kalim during your instead. So take that as a good thing.

He's going to make sure you're having the time of your life, not wanting you to focus on anything even mildly depressing for the whole of winter break. Taking you anywhere you'd find fun the minute a smile even dares to disappear from your pretty face.

But he's very quick to cheer you up when you mentioned it to him at first. Like even Jamil was ready to uplift your mood, but mostly because he didn't want to cook for yet another party if that Was Kalims idea to brighten your mood.

"No I'm very sure you can come over during winter break, I even made sure to check in with Jamil this time! It'll be ok, you'll have fun with me instead of staying here, at campus. So please start smiling again for me!"

(he's a big collector of plush toys, you cant convince me he wouldnt be. he buys so many cute ones, and he can have animals in fabric instead of actual breathing ones. thats the only thing Jamil likes about them though.)

Leona

Almost ignored your 'sad whines about winter break' when you visited during lunch, but he could clearly hear your saddened tone and decided to make you stop whining.

How does he do this? Interrupting you mid 'whine' stating you're staying in sunset savanna with him, so shut up it's nap time.

He's dragging you home with him if he has to, but only because Kifaji is annoying him too much, and if he needs to deal with them it has to be alongside you.

Would have done this even if you could stay with your own family over the break, though housing you because of that was a perfect excuse. He mostly wants to avoid being the subject of family gossip, and this provides an easy way out... Hopefully.

You'll have a nice time in sunset savanna though, he will make sure of that, for a small price.. Said price is being his pillow for the whole trip, no excuses.

You're in a car and there isn't enough space for it, plus its dangerous? He doesn't care. Since he made sure it was a really fancy vehicle with enough space in the back to fit at least 10 people. It'll be a long ride, so get comfy.

"Then you're staying over with me, now would you stop whining so much and let me nap here in peace. No, that was not me telling you to leave, get back and sit down. Now. Finally, thank you."

(trying to get him to eat a salad would be like trying to bathe a cat, 99% impossible to do without force and weird tactics. You'll also be scratched during it. a lot.)

Ace

Oh you poor unfortunate soul, you'll just have to stay here at campus and be so, so lonely without him- Don't look at him like that, he's just teasing, relax. Of course you aren't actually staying here, you're staying with him, idiot.

Too shy to actually ask if you'd want to stay with him, and couldn't help but tease you for a little to see that sad little pout- Okay, okay he'll shut up, just please put that book down.

He does not care if his parents even agree to house you, his brother had friends over all the time so it should be fine. But now that he's remembering his brother is also coming over, he's not looking forward to winter break so much anymore.

If his family starts asking too many questions about you two, he's out. Excuses spewing out his mouth as he drags you outside, talking about this super cool place he forgot to show you.

"Come onnn, you look so stupid when you're sad, with a cute little pout as well. How could I not want to see your- okay, okay yeah I'll shut up now. Don't hit me with that book, put it down, it looks heavy. Phew, starting to think you want me dead here."

(cracks his fingers a lot, he hates the sounds they make but man does it feel good after practicing card tricks for 2 hours, no breaks. is also disgusted when Deuce does it, like gags sometimes kinda disgusted)

Thx for reading, love ya! - Masterlist

[issybee06]

Go big or go home

(LOSER!Mark Grayson X CHEERLEADER!reader)

Oneshort but if someone wants a part 2 i guess I could whip something up

Newest obsession is not healthy

Mark seeks out help from his old childhood friend, asking her to play happy couple to get the attention of another girl…

They don’t even know they want each other, these idiots.

This is so cringy but I like it so…

Hope you enjoy this🫶

Pt2

…………………………………………………………………………….

“No.”

Marks jaw dropped, giving you that stupid kicked puppy look as you fix your makeup in the little locker mirror. You didn’t even actually have to look at him, just knew he looked defeated by the way he sucked in a short breath like being burned.

You look up at him, pulling the lipgloss down. He looked up from the pretty sparkly tube and back to your face, big brown eyes so sad and pathetic.

Sighing, you close your eyes feeling a little bad, “Mark, I’m not helping you make a girl jealous if you’ve never even had a real conversation with her. She is not gonna care.”

Mark and you had a complicated relationship, growing up next door to eachother kinda forced us to become friends. You guys had stuck like glue until middle school, going into different friend groups and inevitably completely different social classes in high school. You took on cheerleading, he took on…whatever he did in his free time.

“Please (Y/n), you don’t understand! I need your help! You’re like my only girl friend-wait, no-not like that! I meant like my friend that is a girl! I-I’ll own you! Anything you need!” Mark beg quietly, stepping closer and quickly looking around to make sure no one heard his pathetic pleas. Rolling your eyes, you grab the math textbook and close the locker door.

“Mark, hate to break it to you, but you have absolutely nothing I need.” You weren’t mean about it, just truthful as you rejected his begging.

His jaw dropped slightly and you could have sworn his lip quivered. Fuck, why did he have to look so…

You sigh, moving your hair off your shoulder, “ugh, fine. But you better not make this weird or anything like that...”

His face lights up as the words leave your mouth, tension visibly leaving him. He gives a firm nod, a glimmer of hope in his eyes as he agrees.

"I won't, I swear. I just..." He pauses, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "I just need to know how long I can have you for. How much time you're willing to give. A week? Two?"

Your eyes widen and you wince, “Have me…? Mark how long do you need?” You question, scoffing lightly. This was so annoying…

He fidgets a bit with the bottom of his sweater, looking almost guilty for his choice of words. He knows he's been acting desperate. Hell, he is desperate.

"Uh... A couple weeks. Maybe a month." He rubs his neck, avoiding eye contact by looking over the other lockers in the hallway. "I know it's a lot to ask, and I really am sorry. I just... need her to be jealous. If I can make her jealous enough, she might notice me…?”

“Are you kidding me?!” I might hit him , “that’s not how girls work! You and William need to stop watching chick flicks.”

You roll your eyes again, walking away. He yelps, scampering to catch up with me, “wait! Wait-wait-wait-wait! Look, I’m sorry! You’re right! I don’t know anything about girls so that’s why I need you because you are a girl and you know things!”

You stop, jaw tight and lips pursed as you take him in. God, he looked so in need…

“Mark….” You groaned, and he smiled with little victory, “So you’ll help! You’ll help me, oh my god you’re totally helping!”

“Pause,” holding your hand up, he shuts his mouth immediately, “ first off, You fucking owe me.” You hiss, jabbing your finger into his chest.

“Okay, ground rules. PDA, only hand holding. Kissing, cheek unless I say to kiss my lips. Dates, we have to post them on instagram or she won’t get jealous as fast.”

He flinches back at the sudden finger on his chest, but quickly nods. The deal is worth it if it means he can get this mystery girl to like him back. Still, that doesn't stop the redness creeping onto his cheeks when he thinks of kissing you. He knows it's all an act, but the thought is still there.

"Okay, ground rules." He agrees. "PDA only as far as hand holding, kissing on the cheek unless you say otherwise, and we'll be putting everything on social media. Got it."

You nod, “Also, if she doesn’t have interest in you by prom, you're taking me to prom. Make me a sign.”

He blinks, a bit stunned at the sudden addition to the terms, "Uh...yeah, Yeah, alright. I'll take you to prom." He hesitantly agrees. "But, a sign? Like, a poster?"

“Yes! Ugh, you really are hopeless!”

He lets out a mock-offended gasp. "I'm not hopeless!" Mostly.

"Alright, alright. I'll make a sign. Just don't have super high expectations. I'm not exactly great with making big banners."

Or dealing with girls, really.

“What did I get myself into...”

He gives a nervous chuckle, running a hand through his already mused black hair.

"Hey, don't say I didn't warn you this plan was a shot in the dark." He tries to give a comforting smile, but it ends up more of a grimace. "Plus, free prom. That's got to count for something, right?"

Humming, you look over to see mystery girl walking down the hall towards us. You’re eyes widen and your mouth moves faster than your brain.

“Mark, stick your tongue down my throat.”

Mark's eyes widened, his body going rigid and face growing red. Stick his- What? He looks up at you like you've gone insane, unable to process what you just demanded of him. Was he really about to do this? With you? He opens his mouth as to speak, but the sound caught in his throat as he caught a glimpse of the girl heading their way.

"Now...?"

Was he stupid?!

“Now!” You stress, grabbing his face forcibly and kiss him.

He barely has time to register what's happening before he's suddenly being kissed. It's not what he'd expected. No, it's far more demanding - far more aggressive, almost passionate. Your soft yet forceful grip on his face, your lips against his - it makes him forget where they are, that they were in the hallway in school. He closes his eyes, surrendering to the kiss as his heart thudded loudly in his chest.

His hesitation slowly melts away as the kiss deepens, his hands eventually coming up to hold onto your hips. It's more intense than anything he's experienced before, and he finds himself lost in the moment. He doesn't even notice the other girl nearby, focused solely on the feeling of your lips against his.

You pull him closer, running your manicured fingers through his hair before tugging slightly. Mark's breath hitches when you tug at his hair, sending a shiver down his spine. He lets out a soft moan, almost a whine, his lips parting slightly as his grip on your hips tightens. He feels his resolve melting away, replaced by a growing desire to give in to the moment.

You pull away, a string of saliva connects your lips. It breaks, sticking to Marks chin. You inhale, catching your breath in light breaths. Mark's cheeks are flushed red, his breathing ragged as he looks at you. He can hardly form words, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts. That was... unexpected. His hand slowly comes up to touch his chin, wiping off the saliva from his chin. He can still feel the tingle of the kiss on his lips, and the pull on his hair has left him a bit weak in the knees.

"W-woah..." He manages to stammer out.

“Was that…good enough for your little plan, Grayson?” You inhale, a small smirk growing on your lips as you take in his state.

I snort, raising my hand to wipe the last little shimmers of saliva on his skin. Mark's wide-eyed gaze follows your hand as you wipe at his chin.

"Y-yeah. I think that'll do." He manages a small smirk back at you, still feeling his heart pounding in his chest. He clears his throat, trying to play off the intense kiss as nothing. But he knows damn well that he felt every second of it, and he can tell you did too.

Your heart stutters slightly, and oh…oh no. Not with Mark, Mark Grayson? No, ew, why.

Coughing in your hand, your cheeks heat, “G-great…uh, I’ll see you around?”

He swallows, nodding dumbly as he tries to collect himself, “Y-Yeah! Yeah! I-I’ll see you…”

You walk away, hurriedly, the only thing on your mind was the fact that no, you did not have to make out with Mark Grayson to get some girls attention who probably had no idea what his name was.

But oh was it fun.

[untitledgoosegay]

re last reblog I do see fanfic culture pushing/replicating a certain model of "what trauma looks like," "how trauma works"

this is a problem across all areas of society obviously, but transformative works are, well, transformative. they're about crafting and modifying narratives where the fan-creator sees a flaw or a lack -- often for the better! don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of "I take a hammer and I fix the canon," it's the main thing that gets my creative gears spinning -- but what happens when that "flaw" is simply a narrative not conforming to popular expectations?

some people just don't get PTSD from events that sound obviously traumatic. they're not masking, and they're not coping; they just straight-up didn't get the permanently-locked stress-response that defines PTSD. they walk away from a horrible experience going "well, that sucked, but it's over now." some people do get PTSD from events most people wouldn't find traumatic. we don't really know why some people get PTSD and others don't. but fandom has an idea of events that must be traumatizing, of a "correct" way to portray trauma. you see the problems with this lack of understanding in e.g. fans pressuring the devs of Baldur's Gate 3 to add dialogue where the player character badgers Halsin about his own feelings on his abuse -- because he must be traumatized, and his trauma must fit a certain mold and presentation of sexual trauma, under the mistaken impression that anything outside that narrow window is somehow "wrong" and disrespectful or even harmful to survivors.

take, for another example, the very common trope of a traumatized character who hates touch or sex "learning" to like touch or sex as a part of their healing process. certainly that can be healing for some people; other people will never like, or want, touch or sex, because of trauma or because they just don't. the assumption that someone who doesn't want sex or doesn't like to be touched must be traumatized, must be suffering from this perceived lack, is seriously harmful -- to asexual people, to people with sensory issues around touch, and to people for whom healing from trauma means freedom to refuse sex or touch.

and there's a secondary trope, one that's slightly more thoughtful but ultimately repeats the problem -- that once someone has learned that their boundaries will be respected, they'll feel it's safe to soften those boundaries. once they feel safe refusing touch or sex, they'll feel comfortable allowing it on their own terms. but many people don't, and many people won't! many people will simply never want to be touched, and never want sex, and they are not suffering or broken or lacking because of it. the idea that proving you'll respect someone's boundaries entitles you to test those boundaries -- the paradox is obvious, and yet this is something i've seen hurt (re-traumatize) people i care for.

people are imperfect victims. people don't heal in the ways you expect. many people have positive memories of their abuse, of their abusers. many people hurt others in the course of their trauma, in ways that can't easily be unpacked in a 5k oneshot. very few narratives of trauma and recovery actually fit the ones put forward by popular children's media and romance novels -- which are the ones I most see replicated in fandom spaces, because they provide the clearest narrative and easiest catharsis, and so they're easy and soothing to reach for.

that's not necessarily a bad thing! i am not immune to goopy romance tropes. i am not immune to teary catharsis. not every fic has to grapple with ugly realities. but there's a problem when these narratives become predominant, when people think they're accurate and realistic depictions of trauma, when the truth of trauma is unpleasant and uncomfortable, and doesn't fit any single narrative, let alone one of comforting catharsis

[turtle-steverogers]

i rlly like ur posts abt how steves rough time with his dad as a little kid affects him later in life. i was wondering do u think the other avengers notice? and if they do what do you think they think/do about it?

also tbh i rlly like ur posts in general lol. i hope you have a good day!

I think the other Avengers notice after some time, considering most of them have similar experiences. I imagine it's sort of an unspoken thing, but it's almost... more notable on Steve, because he's so goddamn young and because when he wakes up from the ice, he's so goddamn stretched thin, that the reserves he usually has to shove all those old habits into a box are low. He's jumpy, the others notice. A raised voice-- especially male-- makes him flinch before he smooths out his face. Making requests is hard for him, and mistakes-- even small ones-- are met with scrambling apologies and frantic attempts to fix the problems.

No one says anything, because they know what it's like, and they don't want him to feel cornered. But there's a hard mission, and he and Natasha are alone in a motel room, and Steve is so clearly low. Kids had been involved. And Natasha had seen the way Steve had shut down to see the marks and bruises on the little boy and girl they'd gotten out of a trafficking situation, and she understood. Albeit for different reasons, but at the core, the pain was the same. They'd both just been kids when they were hurt. Young and lost and wondering what they'd done to deserve the grown ups around them squashing them down and making them feel no better than the dirt.

He doesn't say anything, so she doesn't either. But that night, she can't sleep, and neither can he, and when she hears him shift, roll over. Curl onto his side as the silent tears start, she can't stand it anymore.

Her bed creaks as she slides out, ignoring the rough crunch of the carpet as she pads over to Steve's bed and climbs in behind him.

She crawls onto the bed behind him, stretching out. "Can I hold you?" she whispers. Steve shrugs. He doesn't care. He doesn't understand why she would want to be the big spoon to his hulking frame, but if she wants to, he won't stop her. He's too tired to. He feels her wiggle close and slides an arm over his chest, hugging him flush against her. Her palm rests over his heart and she rubs, soothing.

It eases some of the weight. Some of the ache. He breathes, shaky. She kisses the back of his neck. It's quiet for a long time.

Natasha's voice is soft and private when she speaks. "It hurts, what they did to us, doesn't it?"

Steve freezes, listening. Natasha holds on. He doesn't move her.

"Why would anyone treat children that way? Hurt them that way?"

Steve clenched his jaw, resignation in his gut. "How could you tell?"

Natasha sighs. "I put it together, more or less."

Steve nods and doesn't say anything. It's quiet here, outside the city. The world dark and lacking that telltale bustle. Steve hates it.

"It's alright that you're hurting still," Natasha continues, and Steve wants to beg her to stop, but he's too curious, too desperate for someone to see him that he doesn't. "It's okay that you're still scared. You're safe, darling... you don't have to believe that yet."

He starts to tremble.

"Shh, baby, hey," she soothes and her voice is easy to stomach. Easy to understand. "Breathe for me."

He sucks in a deep breath.

"Did they hit you in the Red Room?" he asks.

"Sometimes," Natasha says. "It was calculated, though. Discipline."

Discipline. Steve doesn't think his father meant for his hits to be discipline. They were just... correction. To get him to shut up. Or maybe so he could get his anger out.

"Breathe," Natasha reminds again. Steve takes another measured breath. "You don't have to tell me anything. But you can. I won't get it all, but I might understand."

Steve considers that. "How old were you? When it started?"

"I don't remember," Natasha said. "Very young. Four, maybe? You?"

"I don't remember either," Steve whispers, and he's furious. Suddenly, he wants to set the world on fire. For the little girl who just wanted a chance to see the sunshine, and for the little boy who just wanted to play. "Maybe the same."

They fall back into silence. Steve can feel his teeth chattering. Natasha starts humming a song, simple and soothing under her breath. He knows he doesn't have to say anything else; she understands. He lets his eyes fall shut again.

[coff33andb00ks]

3am - LN & OP

lando norris x oscar piastri

summary: look at the stars, look how they shine for you warnings: angst, pining, not proofread songs: yellow and fix you by coldplay coldplay is landoscar coded wordcount: 1.3k a.n.: writing this in the hopes landoscar get out of my brain… shout out to the four moots that encouraged this. also not tagging anyone because it's 2:30am and I'm exhausted.

He can't sleep. It isn't unusual, his insomnia tend to rear its ugly head when he least needs it. He only wishes he could prepare in advance, that it was a cycle that he could predict and plan for, like his sisters with their apps that are set to warn the entire family when their PMS is approaching.

Dragging a hand over his face, he glares at the ceiling. Great. Now he's thinking about his sisters' cycles.

There's nothing for it but to just get up. No use fighting it and tossing and turning, that only leads to—

A husky moan. Teeth sinking into the lip he'd just sucked. Jaw carved from the gods' finest marble clenching.

"Lan…"

Cinnamon and mint.

Dreams that will never come true.

He presses his hands to his face, hunching over on the side of the bed. The hotel room is too small, too warm, too—

Lonely.

"Fuck this," he hisses, on his feet and snatching up his hoodie.

Torture. He willingly submits to it, knowing it will only leave him feeling hollow and alone when he returns to his room. But it's all he has. All he can cling to on a night like this, when the voices and thoughts won't stop, when the butterflies and bees are swarming inside him.

When the doubts and the worries rise over the shoddy façade of outgoing and joyful, there's only one thing that can quell them.

One person.

He's pinned his hopes all on someone who can never fully know the truth. The one person who understands him best, who knows him better than he does himself, whose name he proudly wears on his wrist.

The last person he wants to lie to, but shields the truth from.

The truth. The tiny, glowing ember of good sentiment that has somehow been crafted among the ruins of his fractured existence. He holds it closer to his heart than his very soul, fearful of it dying if revealed to a cruel world. Or, worse, an uninterested recipient.

He stares at the door. It's – he pulls his cracked phone from his pocket – almost three in the morning. Horrible friend, waking him this time of night.

A muffled sound. A footstep or a chair sliding under a table. His rounded shoulders straighten, his lowered head lifts.

He knocks. Just twice, like he always does when it's just him. If someone was with him it would be incessant. Knockknockknockknockknockknockknock— fucking hell, what?!

The door opens and he breathes in shampoo and lingering steam.

The universe hates him sometimes.

"Lando?"

One day, the sound of his name in that voice won't make his heart do that weird flippy thing. One day, it won't make his lip quirk up into a half smile. One day, he won't sigh.

Not today. Not tonight.

"Osco."

Osco. Osc. Os. Oscar looks at him with that confused pinched brow that immediately relaxes.

What's it like, to really be seen?

Heartbreaking.

Oscar steps back without a word and weak legs carry him into the mirror of his room. The bed is messy and it makes his stomach clench.

Dreams.

"Sor—"

He quiets with a look. He ducks his head, picking at his fingers. He wants to apologize again, for apologizing to begin with, and he wants to apologize once more for always needing to apologize, for being such a fucking mess that he is standing here in Oscar's hotel room at 3am instead of sleeping peacefully in his own.

"Tell me about it?"

Not what's wrong. Not why are you here. Never leave me alone.

Always tell me about it. Share your worries, lean on me, I'm your friend and your teammate, you're not doing this alone.

"I don't…" Wanna talk about it. Just let me stand here. Bask in the calming glow of your star until I can pretend to be a human again. "I don't… Why are you up?"

Oscar shrugs. His smile is faint. "Had a feeling."

"Oh." Oh. Because he hears the unspoken words, feels the unspoken sentiment.

Had a feeling you'd need me, so I waited up for you.

He wants to cry because no one else cares enough to wait up for him.

"Oh."

His face looks haunted, his eyes like they may produce tears at any second.

Heart in his throat, he sits on the bed. He knows better than to prod, knows all too well that the golden man standing by his suitcase will snarl and bite when provoked. So he waits.

Watching.

He's tense, his deceptively lean frame giving off waves of stress and worry and—

"Can't sleep," Lando whispers.

Exhaustion.

He nods, even though Lando isn't looking at him. Except he is, he can see his reflection in the mirror. Stormy green eyes are watching him, as though he holds all the answers to the world's problems.

Or, if not the world's, Lando's.

Same thing.

"I'm worried about tomorrow." A humorless, breathy exhalation that passes for a chuckle. "Today."

He's been worried since Austria. His insecurities are rising after simmering since Miami when the world's stage witnessed his greatness.

If I don't keep winning how can I prove I'm worthy?

If I don't glow for the world how can anyone love me?

"I hate Silverstone," he breathes.

Not the PR lie, about how special his home track is, the memories he has of it as a child, how the crowd gives him an indescribable energy. He hates it for the expectation. It's his home race so he has to perform well. His car has to be the fastest, the strats have to be impeccable, because he can't let the people that believe in him down.

Worse, he can't let himself down, as he's been doing for two months.

Oscar's heart splinters. No one will ever be as hard on Lando as Lando. No one takes on the blame for an entire team, an entire grid, like the man turning and sinking onto the bed.

Not the golden man the fans and media see, but the shy boy Oscar knows better than he knows himself. The perfectly imperfect extroverted introvert with a heart as pure as the twinkling stars in a night sky. The favorite child still terrified of disappointing his parents, the favorite brother that cries when has to miss an important milestone.

There's a space between them and before the billions of reasons he shouldn't come to mind Oscar closes it. The stars are there, twinkling still, shielded behind a cloud. Their arms touch and he wishes he could exhale and send the clouds away. He can't though, so he sits and waits, umbrella at the ready, an open ear and a sturdy shoulder.

It's a small percentage of what he's willing to give.

It's all that's wanted.

"Tell me I'm stupid."

"You're not stupid."

His shoulder's round and he's staring at his hands. Picking at his fingers. Knee bouncing.

Pure frenetic energy.

Oscar watches the knee and the fingers. Sees his own hand reach out.

Cool fingers, warm hand. Pale over gold.

Chins lift, heads swivel.

Mint eyes. Worry and heartbreak spill over and his own name is a whispered prayer.

Osco.

"You're not stupid," he says. The floodgate opens. "You don't have to believe that. I'll believe it for you until you're ready. I'll believe in you when you can't. I'll stay up 'til 3 so you can rest. And I'll provide the words you pretend to not remember."

That you started doing to make me feel needed. It worked. And now I know you do need me but more importantly I need you.

Golden fingers spread, slotting between his.

The clouds thin and the stars shine brighter than ever.

[cyborgpuppyofficial]

Was it just me, or did this video kinda suck? (Yap post)

Heya everyone! So I've been watching a lot of Sonic analysis videos recently, and this one just won't leave my head. I left my own thoughts extensively on the video itself, but I wanted to talk about it here too. Just a heads up, DON'T ATTACK THIS PERSON. They have an opinion, and I agree with a lot of their points at the beginning of the video! But I just think some parts of this video came off as distasteful, and a little gross. I'm going to quote parts of the video, and stuff I said in the comments of the video. So keep that in mind, and let's begin this big ol' thread.

Chapter 1: Amy's Character

So like I mentioned above, I agreed with a lot of his Amy takes. Saying he prefers Amy in Adventure is a normal thought. In fact I do, and when I write Amy, I base her heavily off of her Adventure and Adventure 2 self. I'm going to pull directly from my comment I left on my video for this section.

"I agreed with a lot of it, and I loved how you understood Amy's character on a deeper level. And I liked how you didn't hold back on the writers, like some people have been doing on many different places. As someone who's been into Sonic ever since I was little, and into the fandom for 10+ years. Then I agree that lots of Ian's versions of the characters, aren't perfect, and I'd love to see them be improved in the future. Mostly, I'd love to see Amy and Silver portrayed differently in the future. I wish Amy could have some of her femininity back, but I don't think her new version is the worst thing on the planet either. She could've been a LOT worse. I saw an older fan, say they didn't like the way Amy was back in the day. Saying they found her dynamic with Sonic to be a bit annoying, and that's okay! It took me a long time, as a female fan, to understand Amy. Because growing up as a girl, I was always told that Girly = Annoying or undesirable.

This was pushed heavily THE MOST in the Sonic Fandom. When Amy would act like... well AMY back in the day, MALE fans would hate on her. They never understood her, and would try to "fix" her via fanfictions (or just straight up killing her in edgy fanart). Or, they would say that Boom Amy is the "Better Amy", and she's the "Only good thing about Sonic Boom". I vividly remember grown men hating on Amy, who was characterized as a TWELVE YEAR OLD GIRL back in the day. It's just weird. And I feel like Ian, even if he doesn't realize it, was influenced like men like them. Which funnily enough, were mostly Archie fans in the 2000's and 2010's! The same place Ian became a fan from! I'm OF COURSE not saying Archie Sonic fans are horrible people at heart (I actually AM a big Archie fan), or that men are terrible people. That would be a stupid way to twist my words."

Basically, I have my own thoughts about Amy, and I agree she should be a little bit different. But I do think Ian, and Sega themselves for the Western Market, have probably been swayed by fans back in the day. Fans who never liked Amy, and would call her Toxic, Annoying, Clingly, Crazy, and so on. Back in the day, Sally Acorn fans and Archie fans would bully and pick on Amy for the sake of their ship. And guess what? These people were a majority of MEN, not boys, GROWN MEN. Amy was never made for them in the first place! So trying to change her to appeal to those grown men, is what I think changed her character deeply.

"I've learnt growing up as a woman, people are going to hate me no matter what I do. No matter how Feminine or how Tomboy I am. Me and many other girls, have had phases of hating pink, and all that is feminine. But that's because of the way the media showed it. When I grew up, Amy would show me, that Girlhood is okay! Liking dresses, pink, shopping, going on girls trips, having sleepovers, wearing makeup, and so on! That stuff is okay! Like you pointed out in the video, Sonic is allowed to be all the cool boy things. So why can't Amy be all the cool girl things? I know, Amy doesn't appeal to male fans. But when was Sonic ever about appealing to one gender? I feel like Sonic bypasses gender, age, or anything else! Video games in general bypass things like that in general. So, for Sonic, why can't girly girls be a thing? I didn't need to BE Sonic to understand him. Same with some of my other favorite characters like Shadow. He's like the total opposite of me, but I still loved him due to his writing and design. So why do girls have to be one certain personality, for Flynn to care about them. But the male characters are fine to be literally whatever they want? Amy's message taught me to love myself, EVERY part of myself. Even my femininity I hid, even the part of me that still loved pink and pop music. And how is that wrong for a girl my age to enjoy? I think it's a side effect of the real world.

No matter what it is, if women are into something, it's not seen as real. Into boy bands? Well you're cheesy and cringy! But guys can drool over their female idols as much as they want, it's just natural for them! Do you like this "boy" hobby? Well you aren't a real fan, and you got into it because of a man probably. I've been told these things growing up, especially when I would play games as a girl. Amy's old personality, taught me to express my passion! No matter what other people think of me, it's better to be me, and be happy. A character doesn't have to be like you, for you to like them. But for me, Amy was just like me! And sometimes for young girls, they need a good role model. And I'm not saying little girls nowadays can't like Amy, that would be stupid. But sometimes people will prefer their version of Amy that they grew up with, and that's not an issue. And I'm tired of people thinking it is a problem for people to have preferences. Speaking of that, I have a lot to say about your portion on the fandom too. I don't want to be rude in that section, so please don't take it as a personal insult. I have nothing against you, and this is just my thoughts on what you said."

So it makes sense that Amy's change is so different to fit Flynn's preferences. Flynn IS a man, and probably can't relate to this struggle. Am I saying men can't write women characters? No not at all! But I'm saying, Flynn's Amy is different from the one I grew up with. I learnt a certain lesson from her character, and other kids my age probably did too! But the new Amy can teach new lessons to children as well! For example, Zodiac and Tarot card girls are still hated by men to this day. Ian Flynn could've made Amy completely drop all of her girl hobbies, but he hasn't done that yet. He in fact, gave her a hobby that ties back to her roots, and expanded on it. I think Amy can still be capable and talented, even WITH magical abilities. It probably took her a long time to learn her cards and magic. I wish we could've SEEN her learning this stuff, but that's not my point. Amy still sticks to her goals and passions, no matter what the internet thinks. And also, Amy still has a pretty heavy crush on Sonic in IDW (or it's at least implied). But the guy fails to mention that, and instead goes on about the Japanese characterization.

Now nothing is wrong with comparing the current characterizations and all. But it felt kind of... Japanese Purist in the worst way possible. Saying "See!? Japan keeps Amy the same, so it's a Western Problem! And Western cultures hate women!". Which I did see some people sharing that rhetoric in the comments. Saying "Hollywood nowadays hates femininity", "I hope Movie Amy isn't ruined", "I wish the West was more like Japan" and so on. Cultural differences are fine! But everyone's character is handled by a different writing team in Japan. They have different standards, and like to write characters differently. I find it unfair to compare something like that, when talking about a fictional pink hedgehog. It kinda feels like this (MAN making this video by the way) is pitting two women against each other, because one girl isn't "feminine" enough. Which reminds me of a... certain war between Sally and Amy during the shipping wars. Hmm... how silly that you complain about a fandom thing like that from certain other fans later in your video. But you share the same rhetoric as the very same people who used to think Amy was "too girly" back then. But now, she "isn't girly enough".

Chapter 2 THE FANDOM PART OH NO:

OH BOY. This is where the video lost me. I had places to agree on everything else, but when he got into the fandom part... it seemed hateful. TW for possible homophobic talk and also, Anti Headcannon talk! Booooo! Anyways. The guy proceeds to talk about the fandom at the end of the video, pretty much out of nowhere. Knowing that Ian is a fan, then it makes sense for some of his writing decisions, and I pointed that out in one of my two comments.

"Now I've been personally writing Sonic stuff for fun, and I have my own headcannons. Which, it seemed like you were very against in this video. Your wording seemed, angry? And that's valid! Especially when fannon things infect cannon. And I agree with a lot of what you said. Some things the writers have said, or done, is WEIRD. Like especially Ian answering a question about Sonic touching Shadow's ass. Like he had every right not to respond to that question, and pick anything else. Buuut, he picked THAT one? Like WHY!? It's just odd. That's something a QNA made by fans should do, not a real writer who works at Sega.

But point is, some of the people who favor headcannons, and say some of the terrible stuff you displayed, are on the younger side. I remember having a "if you think one way, you're bad!" mindset, when I was growing up in my early teens. But that doesn't excuse them sending things like death threats, and saying gross things about characters or ships, BECAUSE they're most likely children. In fact, if they're adults, that makes them even worse. But, not everyone who has a headcannon is a bad guy. Due to people like this, random people who just enjoy making headcannons, have been villainized and demonized. Which is ironic, because back in the day, it was just as bad! If you had a gay headcannon back in the 2000's and 2010's? Well be prepared to get death threats! But the tables have just been turned around nowadays. Also, it was very common for fans to write people like Amy as a worse character, making her a total stalker, for the sake of their ships. This has been a sadly common thing, since the dawn of fandom itself. And Sonic is just a case of some of the worst people in it. I feel like nowadays, people only notice it more; because Twitter and other social medias, like to highlight the negative to an absurd degree."

Now the screenshots he shows from the writers, and other official staff are disgusting! And I agree that this behavior is bad!

If you're wondering. When he decided to show negative sides of the fandom, and toxic behavior, as well as calling these people "Not real fans" he only showed a specific kind of screenshot... Other than one showing only death threats, and someone nitpicking Sonic's shoes. Then all of his screenshots of "bad people" or him describing bad writers or bad fans, were ones with certain headcannons. And one post that he used to defend himself, and his argument, is from an OPEN TRANSPHOBE. Now I agree, Krack should NOT have recived threats like this from people, despite his thoughts on Trans People (PEOPLE. TRANS PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS HUMAN, AND PEOPLE, JUST LIKE US.) being deplorable. But Dimitri, why did you pick THIS specific type of harassment to show off hmm? What about the people who used to send threats to the Archie Staff, for not shipping Sonamy? Or to the Sonic Boom Staff to make their ship cannon? I guess that wasn't important enough to mention, because "the Archie and other Sega staff are saints! But Ian Flynn isn't! So any hate he gets is justified, and not allowed to be criticized at all!". That's what these screenshots and your wording of calling certain fans "brand ambassadors" felt a little personal....

Also, including the Anti Western post a few minutes after this one, is making your character look bad. Like I don't see Western Sonic Fans, complaining how Japan's characters need to change to fit THEIR standards. But Western Media just magically needs to accept overseas stuff all of a sudden? What happened to Sonic being a BRAND. They act like Sonic is a real guy, who's having his friend's name dragged through the mud. When in reality, Sega wants to make money, and money first. So despite me not liking the changes, Sega, and English writers will make changes to whatever the hell they want. You're allowed to not like that. But blaming ALL of Western Media like this, sounds like a brainwashy take.

Now I understand Dimitri is mad about the responses he got on Twitter to his post. And I agree, people shouldn't be saying this stuff about him, or his statement. He was sharing an opinion, and people took it the wrong way. Ian DOES have biases for writing a certain type of Female character, thinking that a kickass woman is better than a more feminine one. That's an issue for sure, but I don't agree with the framing in this video. He used the WORST screenshots he could find, to demonize people with headcannons. The way he spoke about Flynn's writing of Silver in particular was very Anti Headcannon. Saying his character was ruined with Flynn's inclusions, instead of admitting that Flynn's Silver just isn't his taste. He could've said "I just don't like how Ian Flynn writes Silver and Amy" or "I would personally change ___, ___, or ___ about them". That's a respectful way to critique something. Instead saying "Ian Flynn doesn't understand this, and he ruined everything!". It's like he's putting the blame just on Ian's shoulders, because of a change he doesn't like. When, sure Flynn IS the head writer and all.

Now I mentioned in my quote from my comment, that Ian's Bumblecast questions were inappropriate for a franchise made for kids. But that's not because it's a Sonadow themed question, it's because it's WEIRD. But SEGA is the one who allows him to characterize her like this. If they didn't have an issue with it in the West, and want to make cultural differences that could help with their sales. THEY WILL! Sega is a company, they aren't your friend, and aren't under an attack by Flynn's writing team. Sure Flynn is writing this character, but Sega is being a pussy, and letting a writer push them around. Which tells me, Sega doesn't give a fuck. As long as Sonic is getting press, and mostly positive press at that. They'll let Flynn write whatever he wants. The only reason they told Flynn to stop responding to Sonic character questions, is because some of the responses would look bad for THE BRAND. Sega might be nicer to their fans compared to things like Nintendo, but they're still a company at the end of the day. This guy doesn't seem to understand that. Or if he does, he's being ignorant.

This is where you lost me Dimitri.

This photo here is a pure editing piece of propaganda. He says, with this image on screen "The Sonic Fandom cares a hell of a lot more about the fandom part, then the actual content of Sonic. And that's why their concerns revolve around propping the brand up, in the face of any criticism." And the most important part of this quote "or using it's fictional character as a mouthpiece for entertainment to politics."

One. How is an innocent piece of Sonic headcannon art (top right corner) and Shadow holding a Trans flag, any HARM to you? How is that stuff perverting the characters? One is a headcannon drawing, that had nothing to do with your previous issues. This one is a FAN WORK, not effecting cannon comics or games at all. As for the Shadow fanart, that one is FAN ART. You're looking in FANDOM, no shit you're going to see art like that. People can relate to quotes characters say, and it's stupid if you think they have to take the quotes literally. Art is subjective, and people can get different things from the media they consume. That's the beauty of humanity, everyone has different eyes. Next, the Sonic is LGBTQ video he included in the bottom left? It's a theory video. I watched it actually! Chaomix isn't trying to say "Yeah Sonic IS this way, and you're wrong if you think otherwise". In his video, which you clearly didn't watch, he explains the FAN THEORY, and how people sometimes relate it to cannon. Guess what Sonic also doesn't have in cannon. A GIRLFRIEND, which you clearly seem to like the idea of him and Amy due to you using X and the Japanese Media as an example of. If Sonic is "as free as the wind" like you say, then wouldn't you agree that he doesn't need to be in a relationship? But you never mention that ever.

And guess what? The Sega pictures of Speed Battle? Those are real! Sure even if Sonic the character isn't gay, Sega wants to make profits and be nice to fans! It's a brand tactic which people take too seriously. But it's better than you, who wants to show these photos off as being wacko and crazy. And yes, Sonic hates oppression. How is that an issue that people use too much to defend their character, but the "Shadow Loves Latina's" shit isn't? In fact, you don't mention ANY instance of a fan with straight headcannons harassing others, or Transphobic views. Oh wait, that wouldn't fit with the image you're making people out to be with this video. How ironic that you leave out the toxic straight fans, but show off the toxic gay ones. And use false information to prove your point. That doesn't look too good Dimitri. 0-0

Another quote from my comment thread on YouTube:

"I mentioned before, that I personally make headcannons. And the difference between me, other writers, and Ian Flynn. Is that we're fans, and don't have a say over cannon media. Ian Flynn's words, are taken as fact. One thing I have to say before agreeing with you again, is that, I don't see the issue with certain characters being gay canonically. The ones Ian made, are basically his characters. And so far, characters like Tangle and Whisper, and ESPECALLY Nik and Don, haven't been taking over the comic. They just kinda exist, and may be gay (Nik and Don mostly being conformed). I'm Bisexual, and I'm glad Ian wanted to make new characters who are gay. I'm not DEMANDING he makes these characters, like some people think I do. But if they exist, and they're still characters outside of their identity (which they have been so far, I've been rereading Sonic IDW recently) then I'm pretty happy with them just being there.

Now if he was trying to change a character, let's say Amy, into being a sexuality she isn't CANONICALLY, then I'd feel more skeptical about it. Also, your argument about how people react to queer ships has been an issue, since again, the dawn of fandom. A lot of people don't like Gay ships for the sake of their actual dynamic. But for the sake of "Hey, I find this hot!". Whenever I write relationships, I like to think "does this work with the relationship I want to write?", instead of thinking of which Gay ship is the best, and who can I demonize for my ship to work. Which I mentioned earlier, straight ships have had this issue in the past too! I feel like your problem with the fandom isn't because "they're making everything gay", it's that fans are being insufferable about their headcannons and ships. Which every fandom is like, and will continue to be that way sadly lol. But speaking of, Ian pushing his headcannons onto cannon is not great! Silver is an example I used in my very own video, and I don't like his IDW self so far. I wish he would have help from other writers, and maybe work better with the Japanese Team for certain characters. I'm usually not against other versions of existing characters (Sonic in other media like him in game, vs the movies, vs Sonic Prime, ect.), but Ian trying to make HIS version of Amy "THE" Amy in a sense, rubs me the wrong way. It would be different, and I wouldn't care if he was writing a FAN comic, or making a Fanfiction. That would be normal fandom stuff. But, I feel like he never switched his brain from writing Fanfiction. Writing a fanfiction, and writing for an existing series is completely different."

"As a fan who writes her own version of the Sonic cast (I mostly pull from the games), it's fun! But I'm still a fan, not an official staff member. I've personally had people compare me to an actual writer, like I'm supposed to be professional. I put in effort into my versions, but I don't INSIST that they're the "real version of Sonic" or Shadow, or whoever the fuck else I'm writing. I admit, as a fan, that they aren't too accurate. And seeing other fans with headcannons, insist that their stuff is right, makes the whole community look bad. Like yeah, I see certain characters as Gay or whatever else.

But I get ashamed to say that, because whenever I do, I have people saying I'm trying to "ruin the Sonic Brand" or that I'm "not a real fan". But shipping, headcannons, and other things are a side passion of mine. I just do it, because I'm in Fandom spaces, and I have fun with that stuff. My main love came from Sonic though! I've played LOADS of the games, almost all of them, ever since I was little! But people don't believe me, because of the chronically online people. It just sucks that things like this are so hated, because a few teens on Twitter were being assholes. I know this tangent was long, but that's a big part of the video that I felt disgusted by. Not just because people were disgusting in the screenshots you put up. But because it reminds me, on why people like me, and random fans, get harrassed for having silly opinions and thoughts on characters I love."

My comment on Amy still stands by the way. But everything else still applies! One thing I noticed is that he uses regular comments about people liking different versions of Sonic (IDW in specific) to be the "stupid wrong option" in his videos. Saying that don't understand Sonic, when they just prefer one characterization over another. So it's fine when you prefer old Amy's writing and dialogue, or Japanese Amy, but it's not fine when this person has a preference for IDW Sonic's writing? Make it make sense. Also the photo he uses here makes no sense. Sure Gigi works on IDW, but we don't know if They wrote the scene or not. If they straight up admitted to writing this, it would be bias. But as of now, we have no idea.

I also love how Dimitri complains about certain characters being gay. And I agree with him on one writers point, saying that want to ship Vector and Espio. I don't like the ship, and I find it gross personally. They have a brotherly bond. And I personally ship Silver and Blaze a lot. But this isn't about me, this is about YOU Dimitri. You complain later in the video that "The Sonic Fandom cares a hell of a lot more about the fandom part, then the actual content of Sonic. So why would you care about this? This is shipping! Shipping is fandom shit! You're too pure, YOU know the characters well enough! You're not like other Sonic fans, you don't care! But you suddenly care about this shipping take? Like I get the Espio and Vector hate, but why do you care that she doesn't care for Silver and Blaze?

I've met plenty of straight and gay fans who just don't prefer something. You claim not to care about ships, and to feel disgusted by all of them. But you seem to be VERY pro Sonamy, and at least a decent fan of Silver and Blaze. Because otherwise, if you cared ONLY about the games, you wouldn't care about relationships at all! You complain about Flynn wanting to keep relationship drama from Archie Sonic, yet at the same time, you're complaining about it! It seems like you're bias against gay stuff. You don't like that gay ships are being pushed in the comics, but Sonamy coded scenes never come up! Even though they exist in IDW! Or heck, another Hetro ship that IDW basically made cannon was Vector and Vanilla! They're cannon characters! You should care way more that this ship was forced, Sonic isn't about romance! . . . Seems like it's only convent to mention shipping things when it's against gay stuff, and serves your own agenda. Which funnily enough, you criticize the IDW writers for doing. So which one is it Dimitri? Does shipping matter or not~? >:) Plus! One of your sections in the video is explaining Sonic and Amy's relationship. And you seem to describe them more as a couple, than friends. Even though they're not a cannon ship. And that leads me to another point.

Why do Ian's comic characters, matter to you? They can be gay, they're Flynn's characters. Again I mentioned in my comment that "I don't see the issue with certain characters being gay canonically. The ones Ian made, are basically his characters. And so far, characters like Tangle and Whisper, and ESPECALLY Nik and Don, haven't been taking over the comic. They just kinda exist, and may be gay (Nik and Don mostly being conformed). I'm Bisexual, and I'm glad Ian wanted to make new characters who are gay. I'm not DEMANDING he makes these characters, like some people think I do. But if they exist, and they're still characters outside of their identity (which they have been so far, I've been rereading Sonic IDW recently) then I'm pretty happy with them just being there." Heck I'll even say that characters like Starline, if he ended up being Gay, who cares!? You're looking at outside media, to look at the comic, instead of focusing on the Comic's story. Which, again, you AGAIN quoted saying "The Sonic Fandom cares a hell of a lot more about the fandom part, then the actual content of Sonic". Why would you care about a Lesbian or Gay ship being cannon? Ships are fandom stuff! That's not actual content of Sonic! Plus, you seem to play the games. Why would you care about a comic that Ian's writing? The writer you seem to hate in your video. You can happily ignore the comics, and keep playing the games. But this fact seems to make you angry enough, to add it in your video.

Whisper and Tangle are strong characters, and may be dating on the side. But they've still done important things in the comics, and stand as characters on their own. And if we don't include them, Nik and Don are BACKGROUND CHARACTERS. Why would they matter to you? They're in the background, and aren't forcing themselves into the main story. They show up to do some things, and that's it. But them possibly being gay seems to make you disgusted. The Conductor and his wife are cannon! And so is TMOSTH, which you don't even mention! That couple is a background character couple, and they even had a kid! So clearly, adding in Spinoff media/non cannon media into the comics isn't an issue to you! Or you just haven't gotten to this issue yet. Or, what I suspect... You've never read the comics at all! Because they have TWO cannon straight couples in IDW, but you don't mention them at all. But when one gay couple is cannon, or IMPLIED with Tangle and Whisper. THEN it's a problem to add couples.

I think that's all the points I have, and why this video feels... gross. But what I wanna mainly take away from here is that. You're allowed to have preferences for Old or New Amy, but this video just wasn't it. He mighty know Amy's old character, and might not like the new which is fine. But I feel like he used the last third of his video, trying to push his beliefs about Sonic fans onto the viewer. And acting incredibly ignorant when it came to some information. I don't think this guy MEANT to be Homophobic, or weird in this video at first. But that weird Wojack edit at the end kinda gave me Dimitri's true colors. As well as quoting a proud Transphobe multiple times. So uhh yeah not good! >:( I don't think Dimitri is too far gone, and I think he just made some bad choices because he interacted with the wrong group of people. But I think people just doesn't understand fandom culture, especially Dimitri.

But tell me what you guys think! What do you think about the original video if you've watched it? And I'd love to hear what you think about this video too! Please be sure to be respectful, and DO NOT HARRASS DIMITRI. I'll be getting back to drawings soon, and I may do more thought posts. But I don't think it'll ever be on one video ever again. And what version of Amy do you like? Personally, I love both Adventure Amy, and IDW Amy so far! ^w^ I'll be seeing you guys around. <3

[fishsticksloser]

Crush Pt 2

Donnie x gn!reader

Warnings: angst (once again just Donnie's feelings), comfort, fluff, human!reader inferred, swearing, NO TCEST

A/N: The requested part 2. I have so many Donnie requests right now, trying to space them out... I'm gonna go watch the FNAF movie today!!!

Previous | Next

Donnie sits in his lab, fingers strumming against the desk. He stares at the pile of parts you'd managed to find for him. The newest one made his head spin, it could only be found in the Hidden City, this meant you went down to find it for him. You probably had to go to a bunch of places to get one in such good condition.

But you couldn't possibly have a crush on him. His brothers were imagining it.

Leo pointed out that you started wearing purple. Which of course Donnie noticed, but he tried to say that maybe you just liked it. Raph followed up with saying that you hardly ever wore purple before now.

"Its a sign" So Mikey and Leo said.

Donnie wasn't buying it.

Mikey pointed out that you were wearing lighter purples which are associated with with light-hearted, romantic feelings. He also brought attention to the fact that Donnie also started wearing lighter purples. Which Donnie quickly turned attention away from.

⋆｡ ﾟ｡☁︎👾｡ ﾟ｡⋆

"Why won't you even consider that they might actually have a crush on you?" Leo asks as he lounges in Donnie's lab while he works.

"It's simply out of the question." Donnie answers, as it that was a good enough answer. He looked at his twin for a moment, seeing the look on Leo's face. "I have hardly any redeeming qualities. The ones I do... Probably shouldn't be considered."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Leo sits up and frowns at Donnie. He rolls his chair over to Donnie, ready to give him a talking to. "You realize that you're actually likeable, right? We just joke around about each other."

"Sure, sure." Donnie rolls his eyes and turns back to his work. Unfortunately, Leo managed to keep him from turning, making Donnie face him. Donnie huffs and glares at Leo. "Just like the time you made sure I was taken by bats so I 'didn't ruin another mission'? Or reprogramming Shelldon to prove that my inventions suck?"

"Okay, that last one I admit was a bit far..." Leo sighs, looking at his twin with pleading eyes. "But you're my best friend, my twin. I wouldn't be sitting silently in your lab if I didn't like you, you know how hard it is for me to sit still and be quiet." Donnie smiles a little at Leo's last statement, letting out a weak snort, which makes Leo continue more passionately. "You're the opposite of me. In almost every way, but that's what makes us work. Sure I'm charismatic and insanely attractive... But you're mysterious, stoic, and fucking genius."

"And those are redeeming qualities?" Donnie asks, genuinely wanting to know. Did those things pull you to be attracted to him? Were those qualities really attractive?

"Absolutely!" Leo says, shaking Donnie a little. But then Leo stops to think for a second. "Well... They might think you hate them now."

"What?" Donnie replies, eyes wide. "Why? Did I do something?" He's panicking now. He had to fix this. He had to finally admit that you might maybe have a crush on him.

"You have been pretty... Guarded lately. You've been kind of blunt and mean to them, we've-"

Donnie stands up and rushes out of the lab quickly to resolve the issue. He quickly went to your place, not even knocking. He slipped in through the window, seeing you cooking dinner.

"You think I hate you?" Donnie asks softly, making you jump.

"I should really put a lock on the window..." You laugh anxiously. Donnie frowns at you for avoiding his question. "I didn't think it was out of the question."

"I'm sorry, that was never my intention." He murmurs, moving closer to you. You stare at him, a little shocked. He's apologizing? And sounds sincere? "I've been... Fighting my emotions. I guess I didn't realize I was taking it out on you."

"I don't understand..." You reply, brows furrowed as you look up at him. The look in his eyes is much different, softer than they had been recently.

"My brothers say you have a crush on me?" Donnie asks like he's wanting reassurance, wanting confirmation that these rumors where in fact true. You nod, even more confused. "I've been... Fighting with believing that... And with understanding how I feel about you."

You stare at him still, finally the pieces click. "Oh..." You whisper in realization, adverting your gaze for a moment to collect yourself. "So that's what Leo's text meant..." Donnie cocked his head a little before you showed the text.

Mayday! Donnie is about to explode emotionally!

Donnie rolls his eyes at his brother's text, but then looks at you. "So... What does this mean for us?" He questions quietly.

"I would like to... Figure this out with you, if that's something you'd be interested in."

"Sounds intriguing... I'm in."

[nerevarswritingstuff]

Yes, I would love to see your icks🙏

HOOOOO BOY OKAY THEN buckle up kids this is gonna be a LONG ONE. Probably. We'll see by the end of this just how long this list actually is.

For the sake of everyone's sanity, I will be putting it under a read more just to be safe, because I have so many words to say about these things I hate reading. :)

AND just to note, most of these will revolve around LMK fics, or reader-insert fics in general. Just... things that make me drop a fic entirely and never finish it.

HERE WE GO!

Isekai

I cannot, and I mean cannot stand isekai fics. I can't stand isekai stories in general, but in my opinion, they're worse in fics. Nine times out of ten, the character just thinks the new world is better than their old one and forgets about their home. OR, they're panicking and worrying about their family and friends back home and how they're going to get back. Spoiler: This is forgotten after like maybe three or four chapters.

Isekai fics, in my opinion, are just lazy and boring. I've given too many of those kinds of fics a chance only to be sorely disappointed. In an isekai story, I'd like to see more of the plot line where our MC's sole purpose is to go home, no matter how much more colorful and whatnot the new world is. OR they slowly but surely accept the fact that they're not going to return home, and start to just rebuild their life in the new world.

Sadly, I've yet to even find a story like this, and I won't waste my time trying to look for one.

Awful Grammar

AS A DISCLAIMER: If English is not someone's first language and they struggle with grammar, that's fine. The same is said for people who suck at grammar but are trying. Grammar is a nightmare even for native English speakers, I can attest to this.

The reason why this is an "ick" for me mainly because of this: if the grammar is bad but I can still get an idea of what's going on even if there's a few mistakes here and there? I'll still read it. It's fine. But if I can't make heads or tails because the grammar is so fucking bad I'm unable to understand what's going on? I'm clicking off that fic RIGHT QUICK.

This is where I beg. On my hands and knees. PLEASE get a beta-reader. If English isn't your first language, then get a beta-reader who DOES understand English grammar. GET SOMEONE ELSE TO HELP YOU READ THROUGH IT AND FIX THE GRAMMAR. P L E A S E.

Dog Shit Pacing

The plot either goes too fast or too slow. You already know I'm a slow-burn mother fucker over here and I'll die on this hill. But I also like to keep the plot moving forward slowly but surely.

(Which, don't worry, now that the Big Reveal has happened, the pacing for the Show Plot™ will be a BIT faster, but we're focusing on Wukong and Macaque rn)

I'll give a TINY bit of leniency because pacing is hard to master, and even I'm still trying to find a nice point for it, but I don't like pacing that's so fast I get worse whiplash than riding a rollercoaster at a sketchy carnival.

When it comes to slower pacing, I need to stay interested. Give me some hints, some teasers, a few cliffhangers! I dunno man, it just bores me if I'm 15 chapters in and still see no end to the horizon besides Hatsune Miku.

In all seriousness, if you want your pacing slow, then that's fine, but you have to make every word count to keep your readers interested.

MC With No Backbone

I. Hate. This. Trope. I hate reading about OCs or Reader-Inserts that have little to no spine, and just get treated as a doormat. It's not interesting, and it's not fun to just read about a character that's constantly dogged on (9 times out of 10 for NO FUCKING REASON) by the other characters.

I will only like this trope if it's used in a way as character development where the OC/Reader-Insert learns to stand up for themselves in the end. I'm fine with that. Otherwise, kill this trope with fire.

The next point goes off of this point into...

The No-Backbone Character Snaps

This trope makes me mad for one specific reason: EVERYONE MAKES IT INTO SUCH A BIG DEAL. First, it's out of place, and second, every single character is just SOOOOO SHOOOOOCKED THAT THE DOORMAT ACTUALLY TALKS BACK. LIKE HOLY SHIT IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL SHUT UP AND MOVE ON.

And the FINAL POINT FOR THIS...

"Strong" Characters

Allow me to elaborate on this. You read about a character that's supposed to be strong-willed, sassy, and have a backbone. The complete opposite of the one I was complaining about earlier. Sounds great, right?

WRONG.

Because every FUCKING story I've ever read, these "strong" characters are just badly written. Period. The "sass" is quite literally just being a jerk. The strong-willed goes into that bit, too. They just literally act like a dick. There is a difference.

The most frustrating thing I see is when reading ANY kind of story, any "strong" character, and this is for ANY gender but ESPECIALLY female characters (OC or Reader-Inster), suddenly just... lose any sense of fight in them when around their love interest. They're submissive, they're a doormat, and just let their LI do whatever they want. I hate it.

I'm tired of this, grandpa. I'm so god-damn tired of seeing characters who are portrayed as strong, and out of nowhere when their love interest shows up, deciding to be more aggressive, the MC just crumbles. Stop that. Just stop. Seriously.

(The "no backbone character suddenly snaps" bit also applies to this.)

MC Can Do NO WRONG, APPARENTLY?

This is especially bad in LMK, but holy shit, guys. Calm down with this bullshit of "MC is the perfect person and everything they do is perfectly fine but the second someone does it to THEM suddenly THAT PERSON IS WRONG AND DUMB AND AWFUL!! >:("

Why do you think I make Nibby the way they are? They're right a lot of the times, sure, but they're equally WRONG a lot of the times, too. They make mistakes, and they own up to it. They fuck up. They do good, and bad. They. Are. Not. Perfect.

I'm so fucking done with seeing MC's (Reader-Insert or OCs) being treated like they know everything better than everyone. I'm so FUCKING done with MC's being treated like perfect demure little princesses even when they're the ones who are wrecking shit. They can do no wrong? Shut the fuck up and get out of my face with that.

CONSTANT, and I Mean C O N S T A N T POV Switches

This is mostly for writing and not really in any kind of comic or drawing aspect, but holy shit.

I've said this before in my little writer tips thing, but oh my actual lord, I cannot stand when we can't stay with just one character's POV for more than two paragraphs. I'm begging on my hands and knees, just stay with one character for at least half a chapter or an entire chapter. We do NOT need to know what everyone is thinking immediately. Just. Stop. STOP. AAAAAAAUGH.

ENDLESS. ANGST. TRAIN.

Oh my god I talked about it in my writing tips ask before but let me tell you something, guys. I genuinely hate it when angst doesn't stop. THE BEACH EPISODE IN ANIME EXISTS FOR A REASON. IT'S A BREAK FROM ALL THE BULLSHIT THE CHARACTERS GO THROUGH. PLEASE JUST STOP. LET THEM HEAL.

Before y'all try to be all "oh but Nerevar, you've written angst!" Yeah but did you forget I also write the healing that comes after? The growth of the characters that come AFTER their angst episode? Yeah, didn't think so.

I've read so, so, SO many fics that have had just... non-stop angst and it gets so tiring and beyond boring reading it. We get it, they're suffering. Can we please get to the healing, now? P L E A S E?

Hating Wukong for NO FUCKING REASON

This is mostly because of those annoying ass Macaque stans who will blame Wukong for everything that happened to Mac and call him horrible. Need I remind you Mac was willing to kill MK in episode 9 just to get Wukong to fight properly? Mhm, yeah, now sit back down and shut up.

I cannot stand this unnecessary hatred for a character that's actually morally grey and complicated with complex emotions, thoughts, and feelings. And it's always, always for the dumbest fucking reasons. Has he made mistakes? Yes, but who the fuck hasn't. He, just like everyone in the show, grew as characters.

And speaking OF Wukong...

Making Wukong Stupid For EQUALLY NO REASON

Oh my actual LORD I hate this so fucking much. One little joke between MK and Wukong has given birth to my least favorite headcanon in this fucking fandom.

MK: Can't read? Wukong: Uh... I get stage fright.

And now everyone's pointing and laughing at Wukong like "LOL HE'S SO ILLITERATE HE'S DUMB HE'S A BIG STUPID IDIOT"

We're not even going to go into the actual JTTW Wukong, this is SOLELY on the LMK version.

Ok, so, if he's illiterate and can't read or write, then how in the fuck did he write that letter to MK in episode 3 of season 2?

PROOF INSIDE THE PUDDING.

WOW SO ILLITERATE. SO DUMB. VERY LOL.

Like, have we watched the same show? Wukong acts stupid to lighten the mood. He knows how to take shit seriously, he knows how to turn off "funny guy" mode and enter serious mode.

I am the number one Wukong defender and I will NEVER STOP DEFENDING HIM NONE OF YOU CAN KILL ME IN A WAY THAT MATTERS.

Anyway, yeah, I hate that headcanon and y'all can keep that shit far, far away from me.

Six-Eared Macaque's Six Ears

Hoo boy here's the fun one. I have lost count on how many times I've seen this dog shit trope, and every time I see it another one of my brain cells die. If you're caught up with my fic, and have read chapter 35, then you already know that my version of Macaque is not bothered by loud noises such as thunder or fireworks or the like.

Why?

BECAUSE HE'S NOT A FUCKING CHILD.

"Oh, but Nerevar!" I hear you cry as I sit in my rocking chair. "He has six ears! He hears so much more than the normal human! Wouldn't that mean he'd hate loud noises?"

I'm sorry, are we seriously debating if the several thousand year old monkey can handle a little bit of thunder or fireworks? Are we seriously going to baby this actual adult?

Whether we go down the route of "muffle magic" or not, this man has had SEVERAL MILLENNIA to train his ears to handle such noises. Would some still annoy him/bug him? Sure. Yeah. But to render him completely inconsolable and lying on the ground clutching his ears and crying out in agony? Yeah, no. No. Get off my lawn and stay off my property.

(I also hate the follow-up trope of Macaque suddenly getting noise-cancelling earphones from the MCs. I seriously just don't get it. It's happened in every single fic I've read before. I don't get it and I don't want to because I hate it it's stupid.)

The Infantilizing of Literal Adult Characters

This is where some of y'all really start to piss me off. The only characters who are the youngest in this god-damn show (and are STILL LEGAL ADULTS) are Mei and MK. Before you try to come at me like "oh but on [insert unreliable website here] it says they're this age!" That's not confirmed.

Their ages are never fucking confirmed, that was just a fan-thing.

More fucking proof before you try to "UHM--ACTUALLY" in my dm's. Try me. You will lose this battle. Fuck off.

AND YET Y'ALL STILL WANNA INFANTILIZE THE LITERAL ADULTS. I will not give any leniency here. I hate this. I hate it so much that the minute I see any motherfucker treating the characters (Wukong and Macaque ESPECIALLY) like literal children, the desire to commit violence rises. They are not your precious little uwu babies you can coddle. They're actual adults. Please go touch grass and learn how to interact with society. I would LOVE to watch you talk to a real life adult the way you would to Wukong and/or Macaque in your dumb ass baby talk and see what happens.

Wukong, as goofy as he is, would hate to be treated like that.

Macaque would despise it.

Stop fucking infantilizing them. They're adults.

This is also especially bad with MK just because he acts more like a kid than the rest. Almost like he is, but he's still a legal adult (at the very least 18 bc that's the legal driving age in China) and should not be treated as such. He wouldn't mind people caring about him, but there's a difference between caring and coddling.

Allowing Macaque To Be The Asshole But Not Wukong

Get out of my house. Right now. I love Macaque and Wukong so much, you know this. I have a whole damn fic about how much I love them both. But what I will not stand for is this DISRESPECT TOWARDS MY MEN. Oh, little Macaque can do no wrong because he was ~*~twaumatized~*~ but Wukong is the awful person for saying a few things wrong?

Fuck off. :) Don't ever talk to me. :))

Macaque is an asshole. So is Wukong. They're both complex characters with complicated ass stories interwoven with one-another and y'all playing this "X is better than Y" bullshit annoys me. This is half the reason why I hardly ever interact with the fandom at all. Because some of y'all try to force these head canons down my throat and it makes me want to beat you with a broomstick.

Conclusion

This is honestly all I can think of off the top of my head. But yeah. These are all the things that make me never want to read a fic. In all honestly, it's half the reason why I stopped reading fanfics entirely, not just from LMK but other places. They're just so bad and each one is worst than the last.

I will never say no to fic recommendations, nor will I hate on anyone who LIKES the fics that I don't like, or even hate with every fiber of my being. You do you, my word is not law. We can enjoy our shit and still be chill with each other. Just don't try to force me to like something I hate. Please and thank you. <3

[howdoyoudothedew]

Rated: G

Characters: MK and Tang

Word Count: ~900

A/N: In a nebulously after season four era, I write out my feelings about MK's new monkey form (sorta) cw gender dysphoria talk

"Alright, MK," Tang says, taking a seat next to MK at the bar just before closing. "Why do you hate your monkey form so much? I know it's not just because of demon stuff."

"What do you mean?" MK laughs nervously, refusing to look at Tang, as he grabs bowls off tables. Though MK can't see it, Tang gives him a rather flat look in return. The way MK's shoulders go up, nearly to his ears, Tang knows he can sense it. "I'm not acting weird at all! I'm just being MK. Good ol' delivery boy MK. Perfectly normal, not weird, MK! A good 'ol boy."

An awkward laugh follows the ramble, and Tang's mouth screws up, because that's just it. Not MK being normal or not normal, but the defensiveness of it. How much he asserts just who he is. And suddenly, it hits Tang, like a lightning bolt, and he feels a little dumb for not seeing it sooner. Because he has seen this exact behaviour from MK once before. Gently, Tang pats the stool next to him. "Come on, tell me what's really going on."

MK frowns hard, biting his lip and squeezing his fingers around the bowls till Tang thinks the ceramic might just break. Then he puts them down on the counter with a sigh which makes his whole body deflate, sitting next to him. "I just-" MK starts, leg bouncing and playing with his fingers. Tang watches patiently, leaning on the counter. The foot MK isn't bouncing curls around the stool's bar, his knee knocking into the leg. His voice is quieter when he starts again. "Every time I'm in the monkey form, it's like-" He flounders, hands coming up to gesture, his fingers curling into his palms. Reopening them, MK looks down, seeing the familiar lines and pale skin he's used to. There's no fur there, not now, but a part of him still sees it. Like it's hiding, just under the surface, and for a moment he's scared he'll glitch again like he did in the scroll. But he hasn't glitched since they got out, not really. (It doesn't mean the form isn't there, hiding under his skin like an omen. Like a crawling itch he can't scratch but makes him want to claw into his skin and pull, that feels so wrong in a way he can't articulate. Curling his hands up again, he tucks them between his thighs, grasping the stool under him. MK takes a breath, and lets it out slowly, reminding himself that even if the others won't understand, Tang will.

"I like my body," MK says slowly. A corner of his mouth ticks up, a small huff of a laugh leaving him. "Really like it, actually. It's- It's me." He looks at Tang with a smile. "I look in the mirror, and I'm able to go 'yep. that's MK!' and believe it, you know? But the monkey form... that's... that's not me. That's not MK- I don't know what it is, who it is, but it's not MK."

MK bites his lip again, feeling emotions he hasn't felt this strongly in a few years crop up again, swirling in his throat like weighted heat. Really, all of this just feels like a reminder of a few things he'd prefer to forget. Of fears he'd forgotten, when the surgery made those fears obsolete. He sighs again, resting his forehead on the counter. "It feels like I'm reliving puberty. Which sucks, like, I thought I was done with all that, you know? You and Pigsy, you... You helped me fix it, and now it feels like it's all ruined. Like I'm getting a body I don't know again, except this time I don't even know if I'll be permanently stuck with it like Monkey King is or what. And everyone wants me to just accept that! Like, sure, MK, have fun with weird demon monkey puberty!"

Tang watches as MK rubs his hands through his hair, making it a mess and causing his headband to slide down into his eyebrows. Frowning softly, he reaches out, gently readjusting the cloth to rest higher up MK's forehead. Really, he feels sort of ashamed in himself, that he hadn't even considered this. It'd... it'd mess him up, too, if he were the one with the sudden new form. MK looks at him, eyes big and brown just like Pigsy's, tears making them watery. Tang brushes his hand higher, straightening MK's hair. "Do you want me to talk to Pigsy for you?"

"Please?" MK says, lower lip out in a pout, and Tang ruffles his hair, completely undoing what he'd just fixed.

"Of course, MK," Tang says with a smile. If anyone can really understand what MK's going through, it'll be Pigsy. After all, Pigsy has his own demon form. "We'll fix it together, okay? Just the three of us. It'll be alright, you'll see."

Eyes watering, MK moves forward, wrapping his arms around Tang in a tight hug. Tang hugs him back, just as tight. "Thanks, Mr. Tang."

[missveryvery]

I wish I'd never gotten into this book. I've never been such a huge fan of anything before and I've never had to deal with this kind of behavior before. I've never stayed so interested in something before. Now I had to delete the pen name account I'd been saving. I want to be a novelist and I had this twitter account I was saving in case twitter stopped sucking and now it's gone.

I don't understand. I would never do this to someone, not over a book. It's so weird to know so many people can hate you over something or make up nonsense about you and feel no remorse. None.

Normally I probably would have ignored all this but I'm going through so much right now, I'm staying in this awful, freezing apartment while my house is being fixed, it's just too much. I can't do this. I'm just so tired and I know this is a small thing, I'm so embarrassed to be so old and still so sensitive about this.

It's been one thing after another. I'm so tired.

I know this is what those people want, exactly why some psycho saved a twitter screenshot from two years ago. I should have just ignored it. I just keep thinking if I explain and cite stuff calmly that people will understand and stop. Like I can't handle when people won't read anything I say or keep making stuff up that I didn't say.

I cannot believe how fucking cold this apartment is. I have to work tomorrow. I'm not going to sleep.

[et-cant-phone-home-no-signal]

edit, roughly an hour or two after i initially wrote this post: i shut this away in my drafts because said friend is also on tumblr and i honestly don't want to hurt her feelings, especially since we're both not the most mentally stable of people, but i honestly feel i should post this, if only to raise some awareness - it's okay to let yourself feel these things and it's also okay to wallow in them for a bit. unfortunately i tend to let these feelings swallow me whole and consume me, which i don't recommend, but i think it highlights something important. as an undiagnosed autistic+/adhd person i struggle a Lot in my day to day life with a wide range of things, especially coping with my emotions since they hit me in extremes - i don't think i'm capable of just a little bit of emotion, it's always a tidal wave. i've been stuck in this waiting mode cycle for half of my day now, and it's completely ruined any decent feelings i had about waking up and existing today which really really sucks! i hate feeling this way and i hate that i'm angry at people in my life for it! it's not (only) their fault, but i won't say they're not entirely innocent in me feeling the way that i do. one day, i'll have to have a serious conversation with a lot of people in my life about the way that they deal with messaging me and how i message them, and that's terrifying, but it'll need to happen one way or the other. i think my point here is that i don't want to shy away from these feelings but i'm very scared of confronting them with other people, not just fictional characters that i have conversations with whilst breaking down in an attempt to mitigate my meltdowns. anyway, the following text is what i wrote a few hours ago when i just couldn't stop crying and was in the middle of my meltdown so beware i guess. if my irl friends who this is vaguely about read this by chance, i love you and i'm not angry at you, i just really needed to vent this out.

-

i have a lot of love for my friends and the people in my life, both the people i know personally and the ones i only know online, and i have such patience and care and understanding for them because i know what it is to struggle with mental health and change. that being said, i've been crying heavily for the past 30 minutes because a dear friend said we could do a teleparty watch since we're not going to the cinema anymore and i said yes, of course, and now i haven't heard anything back for like an hour and i've been stuck in waiting mode this whole time. the best way i can explain waiting mode for me is that i'm almost entirely incapable of doing anything of substance whilst i'm waiting for something to happen, whether that's an appointment or an event or whatever the fuck it is, and it's excruciating for me because i'm stuck. completely stuck. i can't do anything else because i'm Waiting for the thing to happen and i don't even know if the thing is happening and now i'm in a cycle of crying, stopping, trying to stop myself from hitting my head as a coping mechanism, and crying again, and i don't know what to do. i might not even post this but just typing it out is helping me to remain grounded to something. i just wish i wasn't so fucking autistic sometimes and i wish i had better coping mechanisms because right now i'm losing my mind in a spiral of "maybe she doesn't actually wanna watch anything with you anymore and maybe she hates you and maybe all of your friends hate you and that's why you never get any messages back even if they've read it" because this isn't just about now it's about always. it's about always. i'm no one's number one and i'm used to that but god i can't stay in waiting mode what am i waiting for?? i love my friends i love my friends so much please stop putting me in waiting mode i physically can't handle it i can't eat i can't drink i can't talk to my mum and i can't even play a game or do writing because i'm Waiting. what am i waiting for???? i don't know how to fix this help me fix this please please

[junespriince]

Aita?

Boss won't fire me, but is actively trying to kill me more than the speed force is.

Me, the Flash (29yo m) have been not only forced by my boss, Buttman(old as dirt, m) to keep the job my uncle had but to also expect me to not slack in my other jobs outside of this one.

I've lost so much in this unfortunate, and down right inhumane treatment because I'm a speedster and "balance needs to be kept, the justice league needs a speedster, Flash. It's basics universe lore that was given to you as a child." Like, I know jackass, you made me memorize it if I wanted to go on young justice league missions, a school inside of child labor this man was a monster then as he is now.

He won't take the time to learn I'm not like my uncle before me, he treats me like I'm a child because me and Cy, (28, m) are the youngest in the league right now!

I have loss my time dealing with this bullshit, my job before I moved in with my hubby I had to moved to my boss terf because it's cheaper (I wonder why.), my patience for putting up this clearly unhealthy and unjust treatment towards me (dating your boss son is technically a bad business practices, BUT I WASN'T WORKING FOR HIM TO BEGIN WITH, I was dating my old boss, duh, an even horrible practice but I like my men in power what can I say.), and my temper for dealing with a horrible and stubborn man, broadman I know you're reading this, this is why you have a hard time connecting with your kids, if i was your kid I'd runaway too with my handsome best friend.

Anyways, today he had a mission that was stupid. His plans got me almost killed and when I brought it up to him, he had the nerve to say to me "well if you stopped talking on your phone during the debrief, you would have survived it better." First of all, I listen and follow his plan to the T, all my i's were dotted and my t's were crossed, his plan just sucked and I know knew it did because he told auntie Wonder Woman about it and agreed it sucked, and also I WAS TEXTING YOUR SON MY HUBBY THAT I WAS GONNA BE LATE FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY YOU TRIED TO KILL ME ON! So I let him have it. I told him this: "I don't understand this beef we have, it's been years and you were there for our wedding happy to see him happy, so why do you hate me? It's not for any reason I hate you for. You fired your son took HIS Mantle away, fight him over a little thing what wasn't a big deal at the time to him getting angry you replaced him with another kid entirely because you suck at communicating he assumes he failed you somewhere down the line after years of undermining him, you and fans from that comic issue got side kid killed, that started ANOTHER riff because you didn't tell him and when he found out he tried to kill the joker which you stopped and saved the man who murdered your, at the time, youngest child while all you did was mope around and felt sorry for yourself, add another year of shit before now finally fixing your relationship with him and all you got on me is being there for your son and not being the most nicest to you. Grow up."

A few of our teammates told me I was an asshole for saying that to him, Wonder Woman and Green Arrow gave me a pat on the back and some lunch, and when I told this to my husband after finally getting back barely to make up for a crappy anniversary that I probably shouldn't have gotten onto him like that, but I don't see it.

So, reddit, with an unbiased option (I have seen the merch and ao3 tags, I know how much you freaks love this man. Or Superman, which sir, he dated your wife to get back at you years ago the fuck you took up for him for? Get a back bone.) am I the asshole?

Edit: I just think bastardman is homophobic.

Batman's edit: I'm not homophobic, my son could have done better than you is all.

Edit, edit: this is why Selina leaves you at the alter.

Batman's edit edit: this is why your parents beat you.

Edit edit edit: I'd tell you to suck my dick, but I don't want to fuel the freaks of ao3 to write us more, would rather have Kyle kiss me before this.

Batman 4x edit: come to the e meeting room. Now.

Edit 4x: fuck off old man, you can't tell me what to do.

Oracle: children, in my office, now.

Batman: yes ma'am...

Wally: yes ma'am...

[bambi-kinos]

loved ur recent post on paul whump !! besides the linked one(which I've never read so thanks!) do you have👀👀 any recommendations👀👀👀👀

tl;dr - it's slim pickins out there.

First let's bring back an old differentiation: there's physical whump and then emotional whump, and that was an important distinction back in the day. I have looked for both and while there are some good emotional whump pieces, there is no readable physical whump besides the su!c!d3 fic. Physical whump is more of an action movie thing and in general Beatles fandom is not terribly interested in action and adventure so they don't write it. And the thing is, that's fine, that's a valid choice that anyone can make and we should write about the things we enjoy and not what we think others expect. But it also means that Paul whump fics basically don't exist in modern fandom as we know it. There are probably some on LJ or in the Google Docs McLennon archive since Stargate and Smallville were so big on LJ at the time and there was more x-fandom pollination but I don't want to Snipe hunt right now.

(For the record, I do have something in the works to fix this hole but it won't come out until next year if we're lucky.)

Emotional whump is more plentiful and there's well written stuff out there for sure. Most of the emotional whump I've enjoyed is centered around John's suffering and while Paul's misery is apparent it's not the focus of those pieces. So this took some digging into my bookmarks and memory. What I like in a good Paul whump fic is how his own arrogance and narcissist tendencies come back to bite him OR he's having to put up with John's shit when John is being horrible.

In that spirit, here are my recommendations for decent emotional whump focused on Paul:

Barcelona - Selena. I enjoy this one because Selena let's Paul be a whole person here. It's not just John and Brian bothering him, it's the fact that he's trapped with someone who reminds him of what he's lacking and how this hurts him, both now and in the past. Parallels to the Barcelona situation are subtle and well drawn so you get all of the agony without being hit over the head with it. John is opaque to Paul who doesn't understand why he's acting like this which is a nice change from what we often see in fanfic where John just blurts out what he's feeling. Here we see how much Paul suffers when John is trying too hard to be clever.

A Hole in the World - RosalindBeatrice. Linda bears witness to the aftermath of John's murder in Paul. Easily the absolute best fanfiction on this list.

Birthday - Selene. Love this one because Selene writes Paul as an actual character instead of the heteronormative girly thing he often gets slapped with. Paul is once again bitter, angry and unhappy because the boy he fell in love with has already disappeared. He is forced to be the adult in a room full of manchildren and he hates it...but he also sucks it up and does it anyway. Because he is Paul McCartney and being the foundation of The Beatles and cleaning up John's messes is exactly what he signed up for and he will do it because no one else can. I think of this one all the time. It lives rent free in my head.

Red Sky - thinkpink20. What I appreciate about thinkpink20 is that she is brave enough to let John be absolutely awful but she also humanizes him so you can see his inner pain and confusion driving that horribleness. This is a nice one where John is no where near to figuring himself out but Paul is, and then when Stuart's living shadow gets into the mix, no one is happy.

From Barcelona To Santa Cruz - thinkpink20. Another post-Spain fic but this time John articulates his defense well which of course humiliates and angers Paul even further because John proves he is human and capable of empathy, which Paul didn't want to write into the equation.

the crane wife - mynamesbetty. Betty was showing me the first drafts of this one and all I could say was: "Paul is a horrible person. He's a fucking homewrecker. He deserves this." That's what I like best about this story. Paul is a selfish asshole and he hurts everyone and himself by being self centered, petulant, and cowardly. Every single awful thing that happens to him is strictly the result of his own actions. He manages to make himself the Coyote in a Looney Tunes cartoon including the bit where he runs straight off the cliff, doesn't realize it, and then looks down just as he starts falling before he shoots the viewer a look asking for help. And then the ACME anvil falls on him.

So those are my recommendations on Paul whump. It ended up being a longer list than I expected so that's something. Hope you enjoy the recommendations and please check out the other fanfics by these authors, they're all great.

[starsurfacemortalkombat]

eh...sorry if I'm annoying but a little bit of Regressor Raiden please (I don't care if the one from the old timeline or the new one)

I did MK1 because someone else requested MK11 Regressor Lord Raiden :3

Also, none of you could ever annoy me. I love taking request, so please don't worry about how many you might send or if it's an 'inconvenience' for me <3

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Regressor Raiden Hcs

🌩 Baby regressor and no one can tell me otherwise

🌩 But also regresses from about 2-4 (more 0-4, can regress to just a few months if he's having an extremely tough day)

🌩 Main CGs are Kung Lao, Liu Kang, and all his friends :]

🌩 Favorite little nicknames are Baby Boy, Little One, Sweetie, Sweetheart, Rai, Mr. Thunder (he finds it funny), and Little Lamb

🌩 Doesn't really like nicknames based off him being Earthrealm's champion because it just reminds him of how much stress he has :(

🌩 Kung Lao is his favorite CG because they both watch each other

🌩 But his favorite regression friend is Syzoth

🌩 Mostly because Syzoth just likes cuddling and doing baby activities with him

🌩 Which means Raiden can try to figure out what block goes into what hole, and Syzoth will cuddle up to him (and try to help out)

🌩 Very, very good boy, hates breaking rules

🌩 In fact, the only times he's ‘broken’ rules is when he's had an hard day and lashes out with a sobbing hissy fit

🌩 Crying, yelling, stomping his foot, throwing things, and just feeling icky over all

🌩 A quick line of ‘Oh my poor baby, come here, sweetheart,’ and he'll stop his hissy fit and come break down in your arms

🌩 Will probably request a quick bath because of how icky and bad he feels

🌩 Bathtime with little Raiden is very soft and sweet

🌩 Small splashes, and adores bubbles

🌩 Will continuously point at the soap that makes bubbles if he thinks he doesn't have enough (mostly all times, your going to either have to softly put your foot down or suffer having to get all the bubbles rinsed out of the tub)

🌩 Will put a bubble beard on himself and giggle as he tries to do it to you

🌩 (^ If you don't like it or don't want one, just gently grab his wrist and tell him not to, and he'll place the bubbles on his head instead)

🌩 Only used his powers once while small and it was turning a hissy fit that a bolt of lightning stroke down and it absolutely terrified him

🌩 His gauntlets are placed somewhere he can't reach while small, and he'll take them off while being upset because he doesn't want to hurt you or get scared again

🌩 Again, usually a very good boy, but sometimes he can be ‘naughty’ (although it's usually always an accident)

🌩 The younger he is, he won't really understand why your so upset and get a little confused (although does piece together that this specific action makes you have a mean tone so he'll most likely not do it again)

🌩 If he's bigger, a gentle scolding is all that's needed for his to get teary eyed and offer to fix his mistake

🌩 Although if Kung Lao is also small, Raiden will usually follow his lead, whether he's doing something naughty or not

🌩 Why? Because Kung Lao's older, and if Lao says it's okay, then it must be okay!! :D

🌩 Will get really upset if Kung Lao gets him in trouble though and will silently start crying

🌩 Don't worry, they always make up and Lao apologizes for getting him scolded

🌩 Raiden really likes smaller activities

🌩 Tummy time, trying to figure out what object goes into what shaped hole, being read to, sitting on your lap, all those things

🌩 Use to suck on his thumb, but now has a paci he uses

🌩 Although he's a bit cautious about using it because he doesn't wanna ruin his teeth

🌩 Lao calls him a hypocrite because he use to suck on his thumb with no but whatever 😒 (he's also a bit cautious of that too, although doesn't like how unsanitary it can be)

🌩 He uses his paci the most when he's getting sleepy, or needs the extra comfort, and sometimes just because he wants to

🌩 Best way to fix this? Munchies

🌩 Lao loves snacks, but Raiden really enjoyed little snacks

🌩 Baby yogurt bites, baby puffs, cereal, little muffins, all that jazz

🌩 Takes forever to eat them though (and will shyly ask you to get him more by sliding you over the bowl and giving you puppy eyes 🥺)

🌩 He adores both bottles and sippy cups and you really can't make him choose which is his favorite because they're both his favorites :(

🌩 Although does have preferences baseing of his age and how his day went

🌩 Likes just plain water or warm milk with some honey and cinnamon

🌩 Has a tiny habit of stealing things but it really silent about it

🌩 Johnny's sunglasses that have been missing for twenty minutes? On Raiden's head, he'll give you the biggest smile and excitedly point to them

🌩 Liu Kang's headband that he swore he placed down for 2 seconds and it disappeared? Raiden is not currently wearing it and singing along to his favorite show

🌩 Also a babbler if he's tinier, but will babble like he's having a normal conversation

🌩 Isn't exactly shy about babbling, but also only does it around closer friends

🌩 Likes goijg outside and sitting in the Whushu Garden and looking at the butterflies while having a picnic

🌩 But also really likes just sitting down and watching his favorite TV show

🌩 (^ I could see him really liking Ruby and Max, don't ask my why)

🌩 (^ Also the intro is really easy to sing to because it like . . . two words repeated- But he'll sing along at full volume with the biggest smile!! :D)

🌩 If your really busy while he's regressed and can't give him your undivided attention, he's usually understanding of it

🌩 Will request you do you work in the living room though so he can watch his TV show with you and you can do your work at the coffee table

🌩 If you need to be in your room or office though, he'll ‘sneakingly’ check up on you every so often

🌩 Sneakingly as in you can clearly hear his pitty patters and his little giggles when he peaks through the crack of your door 🥺

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Stop, he's my Pookie Bear and I love him <3 (not babying but also . . . babying??)

[deimosbreakfrost]

What are is ur true opinion about TX2?

Warning! It's Only my opinion. If you don't like it, then bite your tongue, walk away and get lost.

- Quick Opinion:

I hate this band GUTS. I fucking hate Evan, I hate his music, I hate his sense of humor, I hate the fact that he's an fucking parasite, I hate that no one gave him and his band the "BrokeNcyde" treatment until now and his fanbase. ESPECIALLY THE FANBASE.

The fanbase is just a bunch of annoying brats that are from 10-17 years old, defend TX2 on the worse and most ignorant ways possible, uses shitty arguments because they're braindead, have the basic "be gay is quirky" Instagram/discord user sense of humor, makes TX2 their whole personality, can't accept that people hate them and uses "but I'm only defending them!" Whenever someone is (rightfully) saying they suck ass and most of them are those annoying Shorts/Tiktok therians that uses neopronouns and xenogenders (no offense to the actual GOOD people that uses them, just the bad ones) so--- yeah.

- Music:

05/10

Even though I fucking hate them, not gonna lie, their music is actually listeneble. "oh, but if you don't think their music is unlistable then why you say it sucks?" Because of Evan's shitty behavior.

The Band could do the most beautiful songs ever made, but if the vocalist who LITERALLY leads the band and is its creator is an huge asshole or an problematic person then OBVIOUSLY a lot of people won't like them or their music. (MSI is an example) But nooo, for the TX2 fans you NEED to like them and won't respect your opinion.

And also, their music is not emo and never will be. "Oh, but the emo music is mostly formed by hard rock, metalcore and pop punk bands that didn't meant to be emo" exactly. Different of them, TX2 always say they're "emo" but have nothing to do with the scene and their fans can't accept they're posers

Their music sounds like average 2019-2023 TikTok pop rock music, none of the songs are actually emotional hardcore (or emotional/hardcore in general) Oh, and also, they copied the music from other bands.

I am 100% sure that their song "black wedding" is an ripoff of Get Scared's "Sarcasm" but there's also allegations saying that they also copied; BMTH, AC/DC and Silverstein.

- Band Members:

02/10

Literally the unic well known one from the band is Evan and people just call him "TX2" and don't even give a fuck enough to search for his real name and the other band members. And as everyone from the ALT community knows, he's an poser, loser and popular man child.

While the other band Members? ...Who gives a fuck about them when Evan makes the entire band propaganda go around him and the fact that they're "problematic" just because he's an bitch? Anyways, the Band is formed by the Men child, the women™ of the band and the Drummer who's lowkey a wholesome guy.

I just gave a 2 because I love making Evan my punching bag and the drummer is actually a funny guy, his reels appears to me sometimes and they're actually kinda cool. Yeah I like him, all my friends hate Evan and TX2, BUT DON'T YOU DARE HATE ON THE DRUMMER

- The Band In General

01/10

The aesthetic of the band is unnexistent, none of the music are actually popular, well known or interesting, the fact that they're "problematic" just makes them more pathetic because it's all Evan's fault and not theirs and, different of MSI or maybe Marilyn Manson, Problematic ≠ good.

And this all could be fixed if Evan just made an video saying "hey guys, I fucked the things up. I'm sorry, I'll change and stop being like this" then boom, me and some other people might've understand. But no, he expects that the fact that he is annoying as fuck will make his band popular but it only gave us an reason to make him an public enemy.

But, sadly, this isn't the 2000's anymore and we can't just humiliate, chase them out or trow shit at them like people used to do with the crunkcore bands whenever they show up.

- Overall:

04/10

Not emo, posercore music, their jokes are overused and unfunny, none of the propaganda are interesting enough to convince an normal person to listen to them, the fact that they keep all the time using Evan and the fact that they're "problematic" as an propaganda is just a gun shot straight to the feet, uses pink money A LOT and, hot take, if someday Evan gets exposed it probably won't be for being "touchy" with minors. As we could see on his past behavior, bro probably is the ADM of the "I hate minors" twt account

- The Basic That You Need To Know About The Band:

"Why are them 'problematic'?" It's all Evan's fault. The band was just an average Poser4Poser TikTok band back in the day but after an alt influencer made an video giving their opinions about some bands, by the end of the video they basically said "if TX2 makes another joke about 'goth mommy wommys' I'm gonna actually kill myself'" Evan, as the man child he is, got SUUUPER offended by an negative opnion and started to beef with an minor because he simply can't take criticism. (The influencer was an minor back in the day, as I can remember)

So he started an entire era of him beefing with them because of an opinion that probably isn't that bad when compared to what I or other people think about them, as I could remember, they even created an song called "Vendetta" because "boohoo I'm a white bitchy twink who's an grownass men and I can't accept that people hate me" (and also, TX2 stole their audio of them saying their opinion and after the part where they say "I'm gonna actually kill myself" Evan yells "DO IT!" And, I don't know about you guys, but when you're an "emo" you need to be pro-mental health. And saying "do it" when someone says that they will kill themself is not so "emo" of your part. And it gets worse when you're an grownass men and the person who you beefing with is an minor.)

And the alt influencer gave their opinion about it and they basically said to him to stop and that he's just tormenting them for no reason at all because their video was not even about him and his band (oh, and also. The influencer goes by They/Them, and Evan misgendered them during his shitty apology video. It was probably an accident, but since it's Evan, I'm going to take this to heart)

And after that, TX2 created an entire "I don't care" personality to their band because they know VERY WELL that their carrier will crash and fucking burn if they even DARE to fall into a other drama.

Oh, and also. Their ass are not queer, is just Pink Money. Why Pink Money? There isn't any confirmation, image or footage if that's actually true and they only use the LGBT cause as an propaganda so they can make those "be gay is everything!" Or "be gay is quirky" teens to like them because they pretend to be queer

"Oh but they don't need to show footage to confirm that they're queer!" Yeah sure, only their words count, huh? As we could see, alot of times Evan basically used an "oh, trust me!" As an "valid" argument on situations where he didn't showed any footage. "But when he made an video saying he isn't a poser he showed a footage of him playing a A7F song on drums and said that he almost killed himself to know who he truly is!" Since when that A7F is emo? Is not because they're metalcore that it means they're emo. And also, again, Evan uses his own words as an argument when he has no footage to confirm that it's true, why you expect people to believe that he ACTUALLY almost killed himself when the unic confirmation we have is his words? I'm not trying to be insensitive but, if he already said "do it!" When a minor said that they would kill themself and the fact that he isn't trustable makes me doubt and have no respect to this men. (If he actually almost killed himself, then bro is an absolute hypocrite)

And with the placement that him and his band currently are, even shit have more weight than their words. And also, I will actually believe that Evan is an "Fag" if someday someone leak a video of him getting freaky with an guy or something. Till that doesn't happens, he won't have the right to get offended if someone calls him a Faggot or say "Fag" at all.

- What I like:

The fact that I have a band to hate on and that I'm not on the wrong for not being ashamed of doing so. Oh, and the drummer. I fucking love the drummer he's the guy ever, a cutie patootie I love him dearly he's really cool.

- What I Hate:

The fact that they collabed with I.N.K. Spencer. Don't get me bad, I fucking love you and your band but why. Why the fuck are you doing this.

- Conclusion:

Don't support or say you're an fan of them. "Can I still listen to their music?" Yeah, but just like BOTDF, probably a lot of people will want distance from you and give you an side eye if you actually say so.

And I can say without shame that I would love to wake up someday and seeing that TX2's Carrier is dead. I want to be the one who cheers and laughs while TX2's have their downfall

... Don't believe me yet?

Thx for asking XO