#...and i think that difference really influenced how i grew up and interacted with things like societal messaging

[uncanny-tranny]

You know, I've realized the interesting thing about "gay people date people who look just like them!" is that I did that myself but for a specific reason that I think is common in gay spaces

I think when you're gay or queer, your internal sense of what 'is' attractive has to be remapped. It's hard sometimes to signal that you both are attracted to someone in a gay way while also saying that you want to be found attractive. As a young kid, I knew what 'is' attracted ve for a straight guy to do - I generally know how to signal to women that I'm interested in them and also want them to be interested in me. But with other guys? Uncharted territory in many ways because society doesn't teach you what's attractive and how to signal your desires for gay people like they do straight people. When I found this out, I figured that my best option was just to see what I found attractive in guys and then I just emulated that because people are most attracted to people they are more similar to.

In some ways, this has been helpful. I started finding myself more attractive because I was able to use other people as inspiration and I knew that I would be attractive for it because I already found that attractive. It was reassuring to know that I didn't need to second-guess if something was attractive because I was already shown that it is. However, there's this weird feeling of knowing that you can't even be conditioned by society as a whole because they don't even know or care you exist. You're conditioned to understand what 'is' attractive for a man or woman in an opposite-sex relationship. I guess it just reminds me, "hey, you're different!" and that can sometimes bother me just because it gives rise to the anxiety that I won't have a frictionless life.

I'm definitely not saying that this is universal, but looking back on my own experiences, I was very intentional with this. And I don't even think this is 100% right, either, because I also do want to be the more traditionally-masculine person. It's complicated sometimes.

[transmutationisms]

i understand no mental illnesses have been tied to any gene, but my understanding was that there is some evidence on heritability in some cases i.e. for ADHD “many genetic…risks…have a small effect” (doi:10.1016/j.neubiorev.2021.01.022); how are we to understand such findings through a antipsych lens?

okay I just want to be clear because I think a lot of you have a fundamental misunderstanding of what people mean when we self id as 'antipsych.' it's not that 'antipsych' is some sort of pie-in-the-sky theory that I pre-committed to and now have to reconcile with the medical literature—it's more like, I grew up as a very I Fucking Love Science Dot Com child, got interested in psychology among other things, started reading both popular and medical literature about it, started to notice that the things I was reading about psychology and mental diseases didn't really line up with the things I and people I knew experienced and heard when actually interacting with doctors and psychologists, and finally and only around about the age of 19 did I become aware that 'antipsych' is in fact a legitimate position that other people had come up with before me, and at that point I started to read things that you might be referring to here as being written 'through an antipsych lens.'

so, when I hear a question like this, ie one that presumes there is some contradiction between anti-psychiatric political commitments and the existing psychiatric literature, it suggests to me that you haven't really read the literature in question—where by 'read' I mean you need to actually look at the paper's methodology, and look at the process of knowledge-making that yields a sentence like "ADHD has genetic etiology." that's an empirical claim. evaluating whether it's true necessarily involves asking what evidence the person making the claim is offering. there are specific skills and strategies for doing this when you are a layperson dealing with specialised scientific literature; there is also a fundamental critical attitude you should adopt with regards to literally any claim, argument, discourse, article, etc.

it is always a good thing to recognise when you're in over your head and need help or further reading to understand a statistical method, piece of jargon, etc. but you do kind of have to, like, approach the issue with a fundamental attitude that just because someone said something in a scientific journal doesn't make it beyond reproach! read the claims, read the evidence, ask yourself if it makes sense. this isn't some rhetorical game of "I'm going to prove antipsych right"—the 'antipsych' is the loose umbrella term you are called when you actually read the psychiatric literature and critique the discipline's fundamental epistemological failures and disciplinary raison d'être. the horse draws the cart!

wrt 'genetic causes of psychiatric diseases' you also need to understand that many of you are tilting at windmills. I've never said genes don't have an effect on our affective and emotional lives. plainly, they do. this is not the same as "there is a distinct specific Pathology expressed in these genes; they are diseased and/or defective and this is why you feel miserable / cannot function / cannot go to work." like, we see these are two different statements, yes? if all we mean by ADHD is "a list of general behavioural dispositions" then yeah, of course those have genetic influences in addition to environmental ones. everything about us does. that does not mean that ADHD, the distinct and discrete clinical entity that psychiatrists presume exists (on the grounds of their patients having xyz problems), is indeed a 'genetic condition' or instantiates as a genetic mutation / malformation / differential expression / etc. this paragraph is foreshadowing.

having looked at the genetics section of this particular study for about 20 minutes (open-access here if you don't feel like searching by DOI), here are some things that immediately caught my attention:

this is just a meta-analysis of ADHD research. its claims are only as good as the underlying studies. a meta-analysis of shitty studies that had bad methodology will not 'even out' their respective badness, it will just produce a shitty meta-analysis that is intrinsically hampered by the bad underlying methodology. I've discussed this here.

the very first assertion under the genetics section cites three twin studies; I followed those links. first of all, these are written for other scientists, so they don't make a particularly clear (to lay people) distinction between the scientific notion of 'heritability' and what this term is typically interpreted to mean in popular discourses. so, to be clear, 'heritability' is an estimate of how much a given trait is caused by genetic factors at a population level. it does not tell you anything about how much an individual's expression of that trait is genetically caused, nor does heritability necessarily indicate the genetic cause is direct or dependent on one (or even a small number of) genes.

indeed, all three of these studies, and the overarching meta-analysis, assert that this genetic etiology is due to a very large number of very small genetic influences. this is not inherently scientifically unsound, but it does raise my eyebrows. how would we distinguish between a distinct pathology that is caused by a huge tangle of very low-impact genes, vs a whole bunch of behaviours that are socially stigmatised and grouped together on political grounds, and that also have some relationship to genetics, as does literally every physiological fact of human existence?

these cite twin studies, meaning basically they try to use comparisons between genetically identical twins and various other familial relationships to determine how much of a given characteristic is genetically caused. again, though, this is essentially boiling down to the observation that closely genetically related people have similar personality traits; also, twin studies in general have serious methodological problems with profound implications for the invocation of genetics in psychiatry.

in fact, the meta-analysis here also claims that ADHD can sometimes be due to "rare single gene defects" or chromosomal abnormalities. the study cited on the gene claim, for example, is also cited in the claim above, so I've already looked at it. the methodology here is to look at prevalence of ADHD among populations with certain known genetic conditions—that's it. now can we think of any other reasons why people diagnosed with one thing might also be diagnosed with another? for example, they're already in contact with the medical system. they have enough financial resources to seek diagnoses. symptoms of chronic pain & illness often manifest with attention disturbances. etc.

even if that were better founded, the claim they're making themselves here is that ADHD in fact has numerous genetic causes, all manifesting as the same behaviours and psychological disturbances. it's almost like those manifestations are not a single distinct pathology, but a group of 'signs' the clinician lumps together into a single diagnostic box regardless of whence they arise. hold that thought.

incidentally, that study also notes that initial heritability estimates for ADHD were much lower than what's cited now, and blames this on inaccurate self-assessment results, claiming the more recent studies using parent and teacher assessments of ADHD children are more accurate. of course, the actual diagnostic measure never became less 'subjective.' it's just that we trust it more if it's a parent reporting that their kids are all super ADHD than if it's the kid actually reporting their own experiences. because there certainly aren't any historical reasons why parents have felt the need to cling to the notion of a neurobiological, genetically determined distinct ADHD pathology!

similarly, numerous of these linked studies say that 'sub-threshold ADHD' (read: the behaviours considered to be ADHD symptoms, but at lower severity than clinicians have considered diagnosable) show the same genetic causal links—heritability. now that's also curious, no? almost like ADHD is not a discrete distinct genetically caused pathology, but a bunch of traits and behaviours that, like literally every human characteristic, have some genetic as well as environmental influence, and that are artificially grouped together under psychiatric taxa and presumed to be due to an underlying physical (genetic) defect.

indeed, what I'm laying out here is just the basic circularity that underlies all psychiatric diagnosis: we know you are X because you do Y, which you do because you are X, which we know because you showed up to the clinic and told us you do Y. I unpacked this logic in more detail here.

finally, and this bears pulling out from the list because it's important, multiple of these studies are claiming that they have identified general genetic risk factors for a broad variety of psychopathologies (example here). in other words, the claim is not even really that ADHD has specific genetic causes, but that some as-yet-unspecified genetic factor/s are generally responsible for what are diagnosed as mental diseases. how do we know that unspecified higher-order genetic factor exists? well, we don't. but we assume it's there. the same way we did for the 'general intelligence factor,' g, which by the way is entirely racist nonsense.

you may notice that basically all I've said here amounts to accusing psychiatry of failing to meet basic standards of empirical proof generally considered to be load-bearing elements of the 'scientific method.' this is not even really an 'antipsych' argument—it's, at best, a critique of psychiatry as it currently exists, using (in a locally uncritical way!) established standards of scientific discourse. I'm pointing this out both because it's an extremely valuable habit to get into yourself, and because I once again would love it if more people understood that 'antipsych' isn't really a prior theoretical commitment most of us just stumble into. it's a position we actively have to seek out, and often, what prompts us to begin doing that is precisely the experience of noticing problems like the above, and the corresponding utter failure of the psychiatric discipline to rectify such problems without nullifying its own epistemological foundations.

[traincat]

hey!

I recently made a post about wanting to understand the concept of Spideytorch more, and was directed to your blog! If it's not too much of an ask, could you break down their relationship for me?

Sure! I can do that. I'm going to refer back to your post just as a jumping off point -- Spideytorch is definitely, 100% a comics-based thing. Prior to the upcoming Fantastic Four MCU film, the film rights for both characters have never been held by the same company, and "crossover" films are very much a product of the MCU, although ironically Andrew Garfield did once say he wanted Michael B Jordan, who played Johnny in the 2015 Fantastic Four film, to play his Peter's love interest.

Thank you for your service, Andrew.

But while it is comics-based, it's a very different scenario than Spideypool, where the comics are very much based on their popularity as a duo in fandom. I'm not a Spideypool fan, just as like a disclaimer, but as someone interested in the symbiotic relationship between fandom and superhero comics, Spideypool is really interesting because their popularity came first -- they got that team up comic because they were already popular in fandom, they didn't become popular in fandom because they had the team up comic. So it's a really interesting look at how fan activity influences the connections comic characters have. That's not the case with Spideytorch.

(I'm not saying one of those things is inherently better than the other, but since you mentioned Spideypool and their team up comic in your post, I thought it made for an interesting comparison.)

Peter and Johnny literally meet in Amazing Spider-Man #1, back in 1963. The two premier teen heroes of the day, they have a lot of early interaction because they played well off each other -- Peter, a broke loner, was often jealous of Johnny's fame and money, whereas Johnny bemoaned his girl problems compared to chick magnet Peter. (Johnny's girlfriend at the time literally asked him why he couldn't be more like Peter.) They're both pretty big personalities, so there was a lot of pigtail pulling in the early days, but even when they argued there was always a sense that they genuinely liked each other deep down. For Peter, who didn't have friends in the business, Johnny was someone he could rely on, and for Johnny -- who just, like, did not have friends at all until he got to college -- Spider-Man was a peer, someone he looked up to and admired.

(ASM #3)

(ASM #8)

(Strange Tales Annual #2 -- this is the first appearance of Johnny and Peter's "usual place," the Statue of Liberty. Iconic.)

(ASM #19)

(ASM #127)

As Johnny and Peter grew up, the frequency of their team ups faded a little, but their lives have always intersected. In some ways, they've run in parallel. They went to college at the same time, got married at the same time. (Peter's marriage was solid until he sold it to the devil; Johnny's faltered after a decade because sometimes you think you marry someone but they're actually a shapeshifting alien from outerspace who was sent to kill your family. Peter is one of the very few people who Johnny told about that in the aftermath.) Peter unmasked to Johnny, told him his identity, one of the very few people he's done that for. When Johnny "died" (he got better), he left Peter his place on the Fantastic Four. And then, when Johnny came back from the dead, the first person he saw on the other side was Peter.

(FF #1)

(ASM #657, titled Torch Song)

(Fantastic Four #601)

They've lived together, fought together, shared their lives with each other. They trust each other, bone deep, despite their squabbles and differences. It's always been a love connection, however you define that love. It's a connection that has existed from 1963 until today, across multiple fictional universes and continuities. For me, the appeal of them has always been not just their chemistry but also their history.

Also they're just a lot of fun.

(FF #17)

(Fantastic Four v5 #14)

I have a long list of important comics for them in chronological order here, if you want to read more: https://traincat.tumblr.com/post/123691883369/so-ive-only-recently-gotten-into-spidertorch

I hope that helps clear up the history a little bit!

[freenos]

Ok maybe I do have more thoughts on the Medea interactions and how they reflect on Melinoe:

I’ve noticed that the discussion around Melinoe’s morality tends to focus on her proximity to the Olympians but I think there’s also something to be said about the moral grey area that witches fall under. She didn’t grow up in the House of Hades or Olympus, she grew up in the Crossroads and her perspective is influenced by the guidance of witches. And while Circe and Hecate are a little coy about their misdeeds, Medea stands out as the one who really owns the darker aspects of her craft and talks about the suffering she inflicts with pride. In contrast, Melinoe is…not pure but very invested in the idea of doing the right thing and being in the right. So there’s this contrast between them, Melinoe clings to moral justification for her task while Medea isn’t held back by moral dilemmas.

And I think part of that is because Medea pursues her craft to satisfy her own vengeful desires while Melinoe hasn’t gotten to fully explore her identity as a witch yet: They both use their craft in vengeful ways but Melinoe always has this degree of separation from the root conflict. (Nemesis gets at this idea quite a lot actually.) The titans are retaliating for things her family did long before she was born, yet Melinoe is tasked with cleaning up the mess. And when she does take time to herself, she often feels guilty about it. In contrast, Medea gets the satisfaction of personal revenge and is content to use her curses on anyone who gets on her bad side.

It’s that intent that differentiates Medea from Melinoe, I think. No matter how impressive her feats, Melinoe is ultimately a weapon wielded by someone else and lacks pure intent of her own so she often hints at feeling…morally conflicted when talking to Medea. While Medea draws her power from the “blackest of intent” , it seems like Melinoe is forcing a tough exterior, filling a role that doesn’t always come naturally to her. And she wants to know how Medea manages to pull it off so seamlessly. Medea’s “with practice!” line is funny but also, if Melinoe is going to eventually become the goddess of nightmares, maybe she will get there with practice…

I have a suspicion that her arc won’t be about “becoming the nicest person and making everyone proud” but instead, channeling her craft to achieve her own goals without seeking the approval of a higher authority or abiding by someone else's vision of the future. Not perfectly restoring the Age of Gods or the Golden Age of mortals but instead bringing about a different future. She may end up letting her compassion guide her but Prometheus doesn't call her an agent of good or evil, he calls her an agent of change. And it seems like witches in this game are portrayed as catalysts for transformation.

As her understanding of the world grows and shifts, I think it’s interesting that Medea is one of the people Melinoe looks up to and confides in. She asks Medea these very earnest questions about mortals and gods and Medea grants her a joyfully bleak perspective every time:

Medea also has this consistent tendency to disregard mortal suffering, to compare them to livestock and talk about them in terms of how poison-susceptible they are. I get the sense that Melinoe's perception of mortal weakness is influenced by these kinds of conversations:

Melinoe's understanding of the world is shaped by an interesting range of perspectives and is somewhat...shaky and incomplete for now. I think she isn't quite sure how to reconcile her more compassionate impulses and the responsibility that she's dedicated her life to:

Although she adheres to a very black-and-white set of beliefs for the sake of completing her task, there's also hints of uncertainty in her conversations, especially with Medea, a more experienced and self-assured witch. I think Melinoe's character development has the potential to go in a lot of interesting directions!

[yanderedrabbles]

About the bride kidnapping thing. While I understand that the idea is very cool, I would advise against specifically having it be the Kyrgyzstani tradition. When it comes to showing these sorts of traditions in fiction, unless you’re part of that culture or well informed on the issue it’s easy to accidentally portray harmful stereotypes. Vice in particular has made documentaries about minority cultures that blow issues out of proportion to portray them as backwards (I don’t know about this documentary because I haven’t seen it). Point is that this could end up going very badly. With that said it would be cool if there’s a family of yanderes or yandere town who have the tradition of kidnapping their children’s beloved.

I'm really glad you brought this up anon. It sort of has me wondering about the "should you write outside your culture" debate. And where the line between cultural appreciation and cultural appropriation lies.

In media, lots of cultures and cultural practices get boiled down to the sensational; orientalism, fetishization of the other, the idea of the "exotic."

How should we respond to that as writers and creators? The obvious answer is to do research, to treat foreign cultures with all the nuance and care they deserve. ("Foreign" being relative of course, what's strange to you might be pretty mundane to me).

But it's not quite so simple. Lot's of us are writing from positions of privilege. Can we speak on cultural issues as well as someone from a minority community can? Are our voices overshadowing the people we claim to be representing?

This is especially tricky in fiction. Do we have the right to take someone else's culture and use it for our own entertainment?

Conversely, do we have a duty to be representative in our writing? On the one hand, your readers should be able to see themselves in your writing. Plenty of us grew up without really seeing our peers or our culture in the media. It's alienating. If I have the platform to ease some of that alienation, shouldn't I use it?

On the other hand, I can't always do these things justice. No matter how much research you do, nuance can still be hard to grasp. Furthermore, using foreign culture in my work can very much be seen as manipulative. Using minority identities to grow my audience. Pandering. Placating.

It's a difficult thing to balance. And largely influenced by personal ideas of identity and culture. I don't talk that much about my country, but it's very multicultural. Intersections not just of race, but of ethnicity, religion and language. Engaging in traditions and beliefs outside your own are a given.

I think that's a big factor behind my work. Usually my yanderes aren't any particular race or nationality, but I've made plenty of exceptions. I've written characters from different countries and cultures. I've written different sexual orientations and races.

Do I get it right all the time? Hell no.

I've had so many incredible readers point out my errors and give me advice when it comes to dealing with culture in my writing.

I think that's beautiful. I think that's the best way to interact with cultures outside your own - listen and learn and admit when you get it wrong.

In terms of ala kachuu, I was actually hoping to ask my Kyrgyz followers to beta read the fic before I publish it, given the nature of the topic.

I'm curious where you guys stand on the topic though - especially if you're a POC. Does a writer's background matter? Should they stick to what they know or should they write outside their experience?

[terriblepersongreatseamonster]

I've been thinking a lot about where Maomao falls on the Ace spectrum. I think a person's own experience has a lot of influence on how someone interprets what kind of asexual she is. I'm not going to go so far as to say where she falls for certain, but I'd like to share a bit about myself and my experience to explain why I approach her character the way I do when writing my fic.

Fair warning, I'm about to talk about touch abuse in church settings.

I'm both demi & bi. I grew up a pastor's kid, & if you haven't grown up in churches you may not be aware of how big a role physical touch plays in that environment. My entire childhood I was expected to allow anyone to hug me or do other things like touch my shoulders/back/face etc... I was never a big fan of touch, but I had no say in the matter. I was not allowed to say no. There were men who took advantage of this & while nothing extremely terrible happened, I do qualify what happened as sexual harassment. I had no way to avoid this stuff happening, I couldn't tell anyone. If I had, I would've been treated as a liar & it would've had negative repercussions for my family. I was regularly reminded of the fact that if I messed up it could cost my dad his job. And yes, before you ask, my parents would not have been in my corner. At best, my mom would've told me she was sorry it happened and told me never to mention it again. I might've even been forced to go apologize to those who harmed me for somehow being a stumbling block and causing their behavior.

I don't like to be touched. I also take a long time to warm up & trust people. Most people who meet me intially find me to be very quiet & withdrawn. When my now-husband & I started dating I told him right away that I didn't like to be touched. We had to take any physical interactions (even hugs) very slow. I've gotten more comfortable with his touch over the last 11 years, but even now there are plenty of times that he'll hug or kiss me & my reaction is very similar to how Maomao typically reacts to Jinshi's touch. Quite a lot of the time I don't feel one way or another about him touching me. Sometimes I get really annoyed by it. Other times I'm ok with it.

Like I said earlier, I'm not going to try to nail down where Maomao lands on the Ace spectrum. I'm also not going to go so far as to say she's completely anti-touch. She's very young & has had a lot of trauma involving touch in her life. In the light novels it even comes up at one point that her big sisters put her through some courtesan training that made her cry. I do think it's interesting that once you get past LN5 Maomao does slowly start to seem to get more ok with Jinshi's touch. By LN12 she actually goes to him and they end up holding each other and falling asleep on the floor.

I do think if she'd been more open & honest with Jinshi from the get-go about her feelings regarding touch, we would've seen some very different behavior from him in that regard. But I also understand she likely felt she couldn't do that because of the extreme gap in rank that she's always hyper-aware of.

And again, I do think that the way each person interprets Maomao's asexuality is entirely dependent upon their own personal experience. I'm not looking to start any fights or anything. Trust me I don't have the energy to do that. I'm not about to tell someone else their interpretation is wrong or insist that they should have the same interpretation that I do. I think the beauty of Maomao is that whether you're pro or anti-jinmao, you can still enjoy & love her as a character.

[sharieb]

Random Thought 5: The Secret Room (With Him Decoration Feature)

Writer's note: This came into mind as I brainstorm the next chapter for "Fragments of Her Light" I don't think this will be long at all. I might even add this thought in future chapters. So enjoy. Ps. This photo is from my game account.

I know that I have already discussed a bit on how the boys would have interacted with non-Mc, both in the cafe and in their memory cards. But I never considered discussing how they would respond to non-Mc's impact in the boy's environment.

A perfect representation of this idea of non-Mc's increasing influence in the boys' environment is the "With him" feature in the game, where you decorate an office (An also a bedroom in this new update)

So imagine where we left off after the memory card random thought, your LI's affinity grew more and more as you both interact to the point that he noticed some thing different in his house, a door that he didn't recall seeing appear near his bedroom or maybe it was just an empty room that was dear before all this time but for some reason, he felt this weird pull... a sudden urge to go inside the once irrelevant room.

Maybe at first, all he saw were boxes, both big and small, that he had no recollection of having in his house, lining one of the room's walls while the rest of the space was empty. He walked in, not touching anything. However, suddenly he felt a very familiar presence that made his eyes widen, and his body instinctively moved back to where the door was, next to the boxes.

In an instant, he knew it was you without even questioning himself; however, his mind was scrambling as to why you're in his house when he isn't at the cafe or possessing Mc (He already knew that you would disappear once the date (memory was over). But he remained absolutely quiet, unable to ask questions as your holographic/ghostly form materialised in the middle of the unoccupied room, facing the opposite wall.

At first, you didn't do anything until a small holographic panel appeared in front of you. He watches you tap something on the panel, causing a few boxes to open as small orbs float out of the boxes and float underneath you.

Soon, you tap the panel again, causing an orb to move to the opposite wall, to then instantly for into an office desk, much to the LI's surprise as he didn't recall buying that desk, much less any of the other possible furniture and decor that might be in those boxes.

Did he try to stop you? No. Even if he wanted to (he really doesn't), He can't move past you as the same forcefield-like barrier that kept him from you in the cafe was preventing him from intervening while you're doing your thing.

In the end, he just watch you as you decorate the once empty room. Little by little, the room came to life and to his surprise (and amusement), he realised that you were decorating the room with him in mind while adding little touches here and there, to make it feel like it was also your own space. (eg the plushies and kitty badges that you gained while partially possessing Mc. He recalls you gushing madly over them.

Once the room was to your liking, you gave it one last look before the panel disappeared and then soon, you as well. Once you were gone, he felt as if he could finally move again. He went over to the desk and couldn't help but carefully sit in the desk chair that you selected. I was an ordinary chair but yet it somehow felt far more comfortable than any chair that he ever sat on.

He didn't move anything that you carefully placed down, as if it were all sacred, despite you saying it was for him, as you decorated. With that in mind, he ended up dedicating this new room to be yours as now he has a new room, which has your present in it besides the cafe

And to ensure that no one else disturbs your room, he kept it locked, preventing anyone from entering the room intentionally/non-intentionally.

[akutasoda]

Could I request a PM! Dazai/Chuuya/Akutagawa x F! Reader who’s sort of like a parental figure but more of a wine aunt-type figure, I guess. She’s someone who’s blunt and rude, almost condescendingly, like she doesn’t care if she hurts someone’s feelings, but in a more “lady-like” manner. She’s someone with immaculate taste and wisdom beyond her years, so she serves as like a guardian angel of sorts just with a glass of wine and cigarette in her hands, plus she has that sort of sophistication with her mixed with a 1950’s style.

wine and wisdom

synopsis - how are they with a wine-aunt type of figure

includes - 15!dazai, chuuya, akutagawa

warnings - fem!reader, mentions of cigarettes and alcohol, fluff, wc - 700

taglist - @vi-chan07

osamu dazai ★↷

↪back when he first joined the mafia, he net you within a couple of days after mori would drop him off in your presence if he had to leave. he wasn't exactly surprised that you were slightly condescending and spoke your mind with little regard.

↪in honesty, he actually preferred it when mori left him under your supervision. you're blunt nature was more than tolerable and he enjoyed watching you offend people and not care how much you're words hurt them - yet still acting very 'lady-like'

↪he absolutely admired how wise and intelligent you were across a variety of things. you always answered his questions and would sometimes give him advice which he would willingly listen to. his favourite part was when you'd openly criticise mori himself.

↪he was never a fashion person but could admit you had a very stunning taste in clothes. if you ever tried to offer him a change in clothes he'd politely decline. he also never minded that you always seemed to have a glass of wine with you.

↪when he left the port mafia, you'd probably be someone that he'd think of. however, in some reality he wouldn't leave the port mafia - then he would still look to you for advice. but in both scenarios, you would be someone he admired through his childhood.

chuuya nakahara ★↷

↪when he first saw you it was in a passing in a hallway and he immediately mistook you for kouyou. he would do a doubletake ablnd realise you were a completely different person. ironically, kouyou introduced him properly to you the following week.

↪he would still be in the first couple of weeks of being in the port mafia when he properly met you, so he was quite taken back by how blunt you were when you addressed him. not hesitating to find something about him to criticise.

↪as kouyou promised him, he got used to it - although to this day he could still be surprised by how straightforward you could be. in some way he actually admired how little you cared for how your words affected people because most of the time you were only telling the truth.

↪another thing he could admire about you was wise you were. he could come to you with any question or query and you would give him a solution or answer. your intelligence was something he strived to gain.

↪as he grew up with you around, he kind of derived his taste from you - or you atleast influenced his style. he would note that you always had immaculate sense of style, an older style but you always pulled off all your outfits.

↪when he thought back to it, he couldn't actually recall a time where he didn't see you with a glass of wine or a cigarette... even if you engaged in a battle...

ryūnosuke akutagawa ★↷

↪akutagawa mainly only got very few interactions with you when he first joined the mafia, each and every one was because dazai would seek you out and he'd follow. to him it seemed like dazai liked you and so naturally he wanted to know you.

↪it never went unnoticed to him that you always carried around a glass of wine or such but he didn't care. he aslo didn't really care for how you dressed, your sophisticated style seemed extra to him but that didn't mean he wouldn't admit it worked.

↪he could see why dazai looked up to you. your wisdom truly held no bounds and akutagawa would start copying dazai in asking you questions that you always had answers to.

↪additionally when he first met you, he felt quite insulted when you noticed him and started really letting your thoughts run wild. he quickly came to get used to how blunt and rude you could be. your condescending tone eventually becoming normal to hear.

↪even know a part of him held admiration toward you - not as much as held for dazai but it was close. to this day you still held a rude word toward anyone and had that same olden style that worked flawlessly accompanied by your glass of wine.

[kikilowatt]

I've been thinking a lot about what archetype I would pair with jason todd, and since different personalities make for such good interaction my mind kept coming back to a cute girl pink bunny influencer type.

and i couldn't help but making stories about how she is so soft and sweet, and you think she must have had this comfort around her all her life, but actually the reason she is an influencer today is because she grew up poor and she loved to journal and to read, so she started blogging about all the cute things she liked from a young age, and eventually got some sponsors and money from it.

not a lot of loss in her life, but shes seen suffering and her old neighbour taught her how to shoot a gun. and how shed contrast well with a Jason todd that sometimes makes really strong judgement about people and who they are and what they value, and who always puts his walls up, and who resents but appreciates in a way how hardened life (well, death) has made him...

and with all that having been said, im feeling embarrassed , it's very likely ill take the concepts ive been thinking about and give them to some actual OCs of mine who are monster hunters lol but i wanted to share the sketch

[gallus-rising]

i need someone more articulate and well-versed in the topic(s) to talk about how Kabru's upbringing contributed to the way he somewhat treats other people like things to be studied

he describes Milsiril as raising orphaned short-lived children "as a hobby" which is already kind of fucked up + other elves accuse her of treating them like pets. i don't think that's quite true since we know that elves generally treat tallmen/half feet like perma-babies, and Milsiril is somewhat ostracized from elven society, so there's reasons for them to talk shit about her. but also Milsiril isn't free from prejudice and she's clearly traumatized from her time w the canaries. she smothers Kabru (and her other children) because she's been hurt and doesn't want them to go thru that, which is an unhealthy way to be raised irl, and because of the lifespan difference + her own prejudices acts like they'll never really grow up. no matter her best intentions Kabru grew up 1: being treated like a precious forever-baby to be protected for the harsh world and 2: hearing from other elves, his caretaker's primary social circle whether she liked it or not, that Milsiril viewed him like a weird pet. he's been treated like a Specimen most of his life so ofc other people are, too

and ofc this is all in addition to how i think Kabru is predisposed to Studying other people. he has Good Masking and Very Social autism vs Laois' Poor Masking and Bad Social Skills autism. it's just. the way your upbringing influences how you interact w the world! generational trauma! particularly how it compounds with the needs of neurodivergent children! working to break the cycle! rattling the bars of my cage!!

[teruwasright]

so season 3 (season 2 part 2 i guess??) is starting and I see a lot of your criticism in the tag on the anime. can I ask what parts of it made you say its changing the characters to be less interesting, and generally what changes were made that make you think it's poorly written? I thought the adaptation was pretty faithful to the manga, but I'm def biased towards a select few characters so I'm not sure if I just missed something.

sorry if this comes off as rude! it's not meant to, i'm just genuinely curious and trying to understand your point. i do generally agree that the manga is better than the anime, but i'd love to hear if there's more to it then just what i think!

Hello Anon, you didn't sound rude at all

In my opinion the anime is not faithful to the characters nor the story, the anime wasn't really ruined off the get go, the first like three episodes weren't that bad and getting past the funky looking animation it's enjoyable

The biggest problem was cutting out the young exorcist arc to jump farther into the fan favorite characters

I'm sure what you mean is mainly about how you don't see the value or importance in the cut story and arcs, the young exorcist was one of their biggest fuck ups because the arc is when Kou gets his first bit of character expansion and a proper introduction to Teru and their relationship, setting their dynamic up to see their characters develop later in the series

This also establishes Kou's view on Hanako and helps Hanako see Kou differently, in a more personal light if you get what I mean

With cutting it out Kou and Teru are just honestly ruined, Kou has no reason to like Hanako, Teru is never introduced properly and fans views and thoughts of him are far more influenced by his first bit, which the anime STILL did badly imo

So lemme get this straight, Kou hates Hanako...protects Nene...and then suddenly he's chill with Hanako

NOTHING changed, Hanako acts the same, which Kou points out in the beginning how you can't trust him..but then falls for his tricks like a few episodes later?? In the young exorcist arc Kou follows him around to "prove" that he's doing evil stuff but he doesn't catch him doing anything and ends up helping him, falling out a window yk bonding stuff and that's how Kou gets to know Hanako some more, he was influenced and decides you know what? Hanako's a chill guy, WRONG and Hanako gets all crazy because he has issues and Teru steps in

We learn some about how Teru was a child exorcist and how they grew up...sets the baseline for their relationship and their later fight

Kou stands up to Teru for the first time, helps you see both of their characters some more, Teru tells him he won't let this go the next time something happens and boom, we got some good character interactions, relationship development, backstory and a perfect set up for their big fight in chapter 87, the anime has ZERO of that, the CLOSEST we got as a bandaid for the storyline was their weird sparring session on the roof in season two...where they had a weird ass interaction

Bsf that extra scene was awful, ooc and did absolutely nothing to help the lack of character depth, Teru says basically the same thing he did when they half assed the start of the young exorcist arc, which once again is reworded because I KNOW Teru would never say anything like the anime keeps putting in his mouth and we completely miss how although Teru can be hard on Kou, he respects and loves him in the fucking anime we never see Teru respect him and give him space to figure it out the hard way, he just says this God awful line how "you'll regret it" I'm sorry?? Teru never even said anything close to that 😔

Overall Teru's character writing has been pretty poor and I don't expect much

Let's say I look passed this awful horrendous and diabolical change it doesn't get better, the overall way they write and animate Kou just feels really bad, they cut through important scenes and shafted the clock keeper arc to ensure Mitsukou got a good portion of the first season and it wasn't even done well

The animation is SO unemotional, it gives nothing the original manga panels did

I legit didn't gaf because Kou just had no personality. He had none of the charm manga Kou had, honest to god they do this to all the characters

The anime feels like they take the baseline character and their stereotypes and run with that, I feel no care from the writing like the manga

The anime is so obviously a money maker and they give no care to the original intention or characters, not to mention the style direction doesn't fit tbhk

They keep bright colors and make everything lighthearted, how is this going to fit the serious scenes later in the series?? The "darker" scenes don't feel dark or intense at all except maybe the Nene lifespan reveal, otherwise it never brought the same darkness the manga carries and it gets a LOT worse, I can't even imagine how bad the next part of season two is going to be lol I am not watching that shit

I did not watch the entirety of season two, I never finished the picture perfect arc and honestly I don't even care, all I'm doing is saving myself the headache XD

Back to topic, they cut out BIG chunks of dialog too and it all just feels like they're running through the series as fast as they can to get to the hype moments that the fans like (fan service 101) now kicking Akane out of season one was a bad idea, but we did end up getting the clock keeper arc...surely they can't mess up this super short arc right? I WAS WRONG APPARENTLY and they not only ruin Akane but somehow AOI??

Now I hate the anime. BUT they got one episode down, s2 ep2 was pretty good, hell for once I was interested in what the anime had to offer and whether they were really changing the direction to be well done and true to the manga, WRONG AGAIN because it immediately got bad again

My main gripes with the earlier episodes of season two, IS HOW THEY MASSACRED AKANE AND HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH AOI

When they are waiting around watching Aoi on the stage, Akane sheds some light on why he acts the way he does wit Aoi and their childhood

The anime cut a good portion out of his not even 30 second speech and it SHOWS

His speech gives light to how young their codependency started, how Akane feels and why he does what he does, look idc if you think he's a creep and can't be justified but their childhood influenced their current relationship SO MUCH without that context it's missing how they became this way and how Akane thinks, we understand his character some more etc

With what we have in the anime...it's flat and the best we have is Nene's pov and what Teru said to Kou about him

This paints him closer to a yandere character with no depth, where is the backstory?? Come on now, what about when they argue in the far shore?? That's going to feel so bad with the idea we currently have of Akane

Now Aoi...oh Aoi my girl, WHAT have they done to you! This honestly, HONESTLY feels like AoiNene fan service, they animate and put in how Aoi wants to tell Nene something, how she's nervous cue the weird Hanako scene and just, never touch on it again :) that's it! Like HUH?? Aoi was supposed to go to Nene and ask her if she hates her and why she's been avoiding her and acting differently

This is not only important to Aoi's character but Nene's too, also their relationship

How the effects Nene is it shows she used to be a normal teenage girl, hangout with her bestie, go out, day dream, she always used to talk to Aoi, tell her EVERYTHING

Now they barely talk, she doesn't go out, they don't hangout after school

Her life revolves around this supernatural business, it honestly makes me sad for her, when she was preparing for the festival, school sleepover etc she was actually excited to hangout with real people doing real activities while including her supernatural friend, otherwise her life has been taken over by this supernatural drama

Anyways point of the matter is it's all erased and we get none of that subtext in the anime

On Aoi's side it's plain bad, this scene should be there to explore Aoi's character and get a glimpse into her before the grim reaper arc, where her mask falls apart

Without this she's lacking character and anything to show her true self before it gets spelt out for everyone, character assassination if you ask me...

Never talked about again though! Yup, I guess Aoi had nothing to say..

This one's kinda a more personal opinion but the scene where Hanako possess Nene and harasses Aoi felt REALLY uncomfortable, I know this is an overall uncomfortable scene and sometimes controversial but the anime...felt so much worse

You can tell this was a scene they made sure looked good and animated better, the rest of the episode mainly looks bad too...it almost feels too sensual and overral gross that they focused on the scene, giving up fixing the other lower quality scenes

More fan service I tell ya, this anime is pure fan service

I feel sooo bad for anime only fans, y'all are getting the scraps and you don't even know it😭

They have missed a lot of scenes and potential foreshadowing, this is a a mystery manga with twists and turns

Running to the end of a scene fucks up the pacing and the important details, this series is UNFINISHED and we have no idea how it will work out, if the anime fucks up big time on missing core scenes they're going to have to make up MORE random shit to fit the series they created. It's ass

Now onto whatever they're doing with Teru and Akane (more fan service dear goodness) uhhh WHAT was that preview?? Where we see Teru grab Akane's face?? I'm sorry...my early terukane??? Making physical contact?? SOOO OOC IM SORRY

Teru is not physical. ever. PERIOD

He mainly uses his bracelet to tie Akane up throw him around or hits him with his sword, current chapter Teru is much more handsy but for the first like 60+ chapters he would never touch Akane like that

He dragged him away after the clock keeper arc yeah but to put it in perspective when Akane and Teru had their first big fight after the severance the most Teru did to Akane was punch him and drag him away, their most recent fight Teru not only punches him but he grabs his tie and gets more handsy, they have grown a lot more closer but they were never handsy like that from the start

Weird as hell to see tbh

Alright I'll end the rant now, overall they have done poorly with keeping their characters intact, the animation and showcase of emotions are poor and it's a big flaming pile of fan service missing all of the best parts of tbhk, the character writing and implications of their character, thoughts and intentions and the (mostly) great story pacing

‐------------------------------------

Lmao this was all written by @kittytheartist ! Ty sm Kitty for putting my thoughts into words!

I'm not good at articulating my thoughts but with an ask like this I really wanted to give you something so I asked Kitty (who we both agree very heavily that the anime is ass so I trusted them in writing out a response for you) if they could write this- there a lot better at putting thoughts to words then I am lmao

But basically the anime to me is a flaming dumpster fire of fan service and atp im done watching it and trying to give it a chance.

Not to say that you CAN'T injoy it- if you do that's fine but I don't and im getting a little tired of people asking me why and acting like I "should" just bc it's tbhk.

I want tbhk to be animated JUST as much as everyone else but I will NOT settle for this dumpster fire of an excuse of an anime so I hope this answers your question

[icharchivist]

About the lavi/Allen ship after resent development do you think it actually has a chance with how it’s looking like soulmates like do you think it can be taken as romantic now what kind of development do you see happening now do you think their relationship can grow in a good way from here I saw in past posts you think it be one sided do you still think that

oh boy HI!

Well you got me i genuinely don't know.

And i rambled again

I don't actually expect ships going canon in shounen in general, but Past!Laven really went straight into reproducing Current!Yulma and we know Yulma is canon, so this is definitely Something.

I did always say that i thought if romantic, it was fully one sided from Lavi's side. Lavi's changes around Allen are more extreme and obvious, while Allen's behavior around Lavi doesn't really sound so different from his behavior around everyone else except that, i would argue, he looked more comfortable around him to be doing childish things. Something i already thought was me pulling at straws until recent developments.

While i'm totally thrilled about the confirmation they're soulmates (in a neutral sense of the term, not every soulmates are romantic in nature, but their souls are clearly intertwined by the way Past!Allen and Past!Lavi merged and it's safe to say that it involves platonic affection at least.) i genuinely don't know where to go on from that point. I'm still on that high a little to be honest.

I don't even know if Past!Laven is really "canon" by romantic metric considering we know Past!Lavi stuck around also due to his promise to Nea, but it's clear, imo, that there's meant to be a parallel between Past!Lavi and Current!Lavi about "we started staying with Allen because of our sworn duties but our affection for him grew to the point of being torn between duty and caring for him". After all Past!Laven traveled together for a long time, as evidenced by the fact their first interaction has Allen with short hair and that Apocryphos attacks him after they've been travelling together when Allen has waaaay longer hair.

It will depend on how Allen will take the reveals imo and i can't predict the kid when it comes to unveiling his identities. I think there's potential for him to feel extremely emotional about it since one of the only things he remembered in his present life, that Apocryphos couldn't take away from him, was how Past!Lavi held him so warmly. And like. the whole reason he took the potion that would kill him so readily was specifically to "take back what was taken away from him" when he realized the only thing he remembered was this precious.

I think this could push Allen to really want to at least clear things up with Lavi, and perhaps even properly lower his walls around him.

However.

The situation IS different from Yulma. Kanda and Alma both remembered enough their past lives, AND spend a whole lot of time ALSO developing feelings because fully remembering them, to know once the reveal was out that they were meant to find each others over and over and be in love in the past and the future.

but with Laven, while Allen is learning about it, Lavi knows absolutely fuck-all.

The dynamic is going to be SO different because what Lavi feels for Allen (platonic, romantic, whatever you want to call it) is due to who Allen is now, while Allen is going to learn a lot more about Past!Lavi to influence his opinion. On top of that Lavi also is somewhat "guided" by this vision of Past!Lavi that drive him to Allen.

There's a gap in knowledge and one that i think may be too nebulous for feelings to return just on the idea that now there is more knowledge.

One that will only be made worse by the others elements of the main plot right about now:

-Allen is going to learn that Mana's corpse isn't in its grave and its likely going to derail his feelings.. or on the contrary, amplify them realizing that even the one person who raised him and loved him didn't even die (and he carried this guilt his whole life and all the horrors that happened after that) so it could make him want to seek out this "past warmth" again. Or it will destroy him first and we'll have to deal with that.

-Lavi is still being tortured and it's been months in universe. Fiddle draws Lavi with a broken heart in a doodle he made in a recent chapter which implies Lavi' condition is pretty bad.. I think when we will find Lavi back he will be in no condition to process the whole soulmate situation

... That said he IS being tortured because the Noah want to learn about what happened to Past!JR (and i'm just realizing the fucking irony right here on Allen, being called "Mister Host" atm by the Bookman Clan, aka being held because of his condition as an Honorary Noah, being put into a deadly situation to recover information about Past!JR, while Lavi is being tortured by the Noah because they want Bookman information on Past!JR and Nea. The parallels never stop paralleling.). So Lavi wanting to learn more about Past!JR is on the table, and i wonder what plotline could come off from realizing he spent 3 months tortured because of the very figure that saved his life when he was 7.

And actually now i'm thinking about how Allen and Lavi were separated during the Alma arc and following it, were both held captive, before being hurt by a shadow of their common past lives: the Noah on Lavi while Allen is hunted by Apocryphos. Almost as if Apo had to wait until Lavi was far away from Allen to hope to attack him in case the Bookman JR meddles with his plans again. I mean i don't think it's exactly the reason but imagine if this is true?!

So actually maybe Lavi will want to learn about JR but this will probably be more confusing for them to process. I think it will be harder for them to understand how intertwined they are.

When compared to Kanda for instance he knew he had to be looking for his soulmate his whole life, he knew he had someone he loved and wanted back at all cost, so when Alma was revealed to be just that it was just a question of "finally, my lifelong quest, finishing where it started".

but neither Lavi nor Allen were really looking for this past connection so i think it'd take them a while to really process how intertwined they are and they may return to their normal dynamic afterward.

However i do think they will behave a bit differently realizing just how much they share.

As a romantic, my favorite option would be for them to not actually let their past lives dictate how they should feel about each others, but as they are working together to unravel the past and realize they have to do it together because both are concerned, they are lowering their walls in ways they haven't around others people because it just feels right, and it's where something more natural can bloom.

As a realist, I honestly don't even believe it would take a romantic turn because usually Shounen rarely do this type of things. But Hoshino is unpredictable so maybe things could take a turn. I just can't dare to hope.

(would i even want it? I don't know. I never considered it a possibility. Again i thought it was one sided. I also always have thought "Dear Gray Man" could be because it's Lavi keeping records of Allen's life because Allen isn't going to make it but Lavi will, so the one-sided-ness added to the tragedy, but now i'm so distraught on what that could mean. Hell now i also have thoughts about how this can be also reminiscent of Past!Lavi's approach. I mean i have many different ideas on what the title is about but it is one of them yaknow.)

So i genuinely have no idea where this could possibly be taken. I didn't even think it was ever possible that my "fav ship but it's probably one sided" would ever just reveal they were soulmates all along. I don't know how to process this information and how much romance i can interpret out of it exactly.

So i do what i do best instead and look for Narrative Parallels and Foils because at least there i have content.

but as to predict the future and especially a romantic relationship in a Shounen?

I have no clue where we're going.

My only hope is that it will be the story Hoshino really wants to tell.

thanks for the ask! <3

[maxdibert]

Lately, I've been thinking about the possible descendants of Severus. In fanfics that talk about Severus being a father, they always show him raising a wizard boy or a witch girl, and that's great—it's entertaining to see him raising a magical child. But what if the child didn’t have magic?

Imagine Severus marrying a Muggle; there’s a high probability he could have a Squib child since Severus’s father was also a Muggle. The combination of his father's Muggle blood and his wife's might result in a Squib child.

If that were the case, I imagine the child would grow up as a Muggle, knowing about the magical world, of course, but still being just another Muggle in society. If the child were a wizard, I suppose their education—both academically and culturally—would be guided by Severus since he’s the only one in the family familiar with the magical world. However, if the child were a Squib, their upbringing would likely lean more toward the Muggle side, guided by their Muggle mother. Without magic, they’d need to integrate into Muggle society. So, I imagine their education, sense of humor, way of speaking, clothing, and everything else would be influenced by Muggle culture. Once they grew up, it would be evident that they were raised in the Muggle world, for example, the clothes young wizards and young Muggles wear are very different. (It’s highly unlikely that a 20-year-old Muggle would choose to wear robes to a party they were invited to.)

I really enjoy thinking about the cultural differences between wizards and Muggles. It’s so fascinating—the technology, the fashion, the humor, the way they speak and interact. It’s interesting to reflect on how wizards and Muggles can differ in ways that, at first glance, seem so simple.

(Severus might actually prefer having a Squib child raised in Muggle culture to spare them from carrying the burdens of his past. It’s just a thought I have.)

One of the most surreal things about the world created by Rowling is how she establishes that most of the population is made up of muggle-borns and half-bloods, yet wizards seem to have no idea how the muggle world works. Even those who are fascinated by muggles, like Arthur Weasley, get lost in absurd things like rubber ducks. Many don’t know what electricity is—like, what?? What sense does that make? There are so many muggle-borns, children of muggles, or half-bloods with a muggle parent, and you’re telling me they don’t know the most basic things? Even societies that are isolated or remote, like the Amish, know the bare minimum about the outside world. It’s absurd and unrealistic, honestly. And the way they treat muggles as if they are one or two steps below the evolutionary chain?? Come on, wizards don’t know democracy, they have archaic political systems, no sociological or philosophical studies, they’re totally illiterate on an intellectual and technological level. Sure, they have magic, but they’re completely unaware of fields like physics or chemistry, there’s no modern engineering for them, nothing. And as for weapons or war strategies... Yes, wizards are more resilient and have protection spells, but would they even have time to protect themselves if someone suddenly pulled out an automatic weapon and shot them in the head? Nuclear bombs? I mean, I’ve always thought that Voldemort’s idea of conquest was quite delusional, because a muggle with good aim could shoot him in the head and bye-bye, Tom. How can they genuinely see themselves above muggles, especially those who come from a muggle background, who know the muggle world and can compare?

I understand that Severus would want to distance himself from his muggle side because it represented poverty and violence from his father. The muggle world was never something good for him, but what about Hermione, for example? Her parents are dentists, she comes from a middle-class family, she’s an only child, and her parents seem like good people. Why do we never know anything about her life? We know everything about the Weasleys but nothing about her parents—not even their names. And she always makes excuses not to visit them, which is something that stands out to me because, in the end, she was raised among muggles. Is it really necessary to sever all ties with that world? It doesn’t make sense, I’ve always found it quite incoherent.

I really like the Severus x Muggle idea (which is why I decided to write a fanfic with that prompt) because I find the dynamic between wizards and muggles so interesting (as you rightly said) and also because it seems like the best way to explore the contradiction he must feel in having grown up between two worlds, and despite years of rejecting his non-magical side, trying to eliminate it entirely, and even hating it for being seen as a weakness or a source of shame, in the end, it is part of him. Not only that, but he grew up as a muggle. His cognitive development took place in a muggle environment, and his emotional and affective foundations were shaped in a muggle setting. His life before Hogwarts was entirely muggle because we know his father didn’t like magic. His inner child lived and was raised as a muggle, and the inner child in all of us is the cornerstone of our adult selves, and he has a huge dissonance with this. In an AU where he survives the war and has no purpose (because he has achieved his goals) and feels completely lost because, in both camps, many people despise him, because he has become a celebrity—and that’s something he detests—where half the community knows him for having been a professor, and one who was quite a jerk, and where he’s never going back to Hogwarts because by now it’s a place he detests for what it represents to him, I imagine him terribly depressed, locked in Spinner’s End, not wanting to see anyone or be found, in the house of his childhood that represents the duality between his magical self and his muggle self, not choosing either world because he feels like he doesn’t belong to either. In fact, I start my fanfic this way because it’s the vision I find most coherent.

That said, I think being with a muggle would make it easier for him because it’s someone who doesn’t know him and won’t judge him, and it’s probably someone who wouldn’t care about his past. “Oh, you were in a war? Just one? But there are like twelve happening around the world, lol.” A guy who wanted to dominate the world? Just another Tuesday in the muggle history office. I mean, the things that seem super dramatic to wizards are actually just everyday occurrences for muggles, especially in terms of political violence. In 1991, the Gulf War ended; from 1990 to 2000, there was the Balkan War; Pablo Escobar wasn’t assassinated until 1993, and the Cali Cartel remained active until 1996; the FARC, the National Liberation Army, the Bosnian War, the ETA terrorist group in Spain, child soldiers in Sierra Leone in the 1991–2002 war. Muggles aren’t scandalized by violence; it’s just part of their daily news. Severus having a muggle partner who finds out he was in a war would likely find it pretty normal, lol. He wouldn’t have that pressure of hearing, “Oh my god, you were a dark wizard,” in a world where murders and crimes are on the news every day. I think that would give him a lot of peace, not feeling constantly judged and pointed out, and having a partner who couldn’t care less about people like Harry Potter, Dumbledore, or all those famous figures in his world who’ve shaped his life—his partner wouldn’t care at all.

That said, let’s talk about the kids, hahaha, sorry for going on, but this topic really interests me for meta.

I think the idea of Severus having a Squib child is quite interesting, but in the end, it would be like you said—they’d end up having a muggle education and culture, belonging to that world. I don’t think it would be a huge drama. Squibs who have issues usually struggle because they are born into fully magical families, immersed in the wizarding world, while they have no powers. A kid with a wizard father and a muggle mother would have a reference point outside that world, so it wouldn’t be a problem.

That said, I like the idea even more that he might have a child with magical powers, but the kid couldn’t care less about the wizarding world. Like, his child would be a Gen Z kid born in the 2000s, probably raised among muggles because obviously, we believe in equality within the couple. If the kid is going to spend seven years in a wizarding school like their dad, it’s only fair that they learn how the muggle world works until they’re 11.

I imagine this 11-year-old with their laptop, mobile phone, Discord account, favorite streamers, TV series they haven’t finished, TikTok account full of random videos, all their pop culture references, music, etc., and suddenly being told, “Hey, you have to go to a boarding school for seven years where none of these things will work because magic interferes, and you’ll have to leave all your tech behind.” That might have worked in the 90s when there were no mobile phones, but in the 2010s???

But honestly, being Severus’ kid, raised in a healthy and loving environment, that child probably wouldn’t be brewing potions but might be creating muggle tech adapted to magic—just to be able to watch the last season of Cobra Kai on Netflix, lol.

Honestly, the idea of Gen Z kids with muggle heritage going to Hogwarts cracks me up.

[milogreer]

so uhh this is gonna be scatterbrained. but i'm gonna ramble about milo and (what little info we have on) colm. sorry in advance if it doesn’t make sense i just had to exorcise this demon 🫡

i believe "camping with your alpha boyfriend (2021)" is the earliest mention of colm in an audio. obviously we don't actually know milo's side of things because it's told from david's POV, but we still get the mental image of little thirteen year old milo sitting shotgun in his dad's pickup as they drive to their camping spot. gabe's goofing around in the truck bed to make david and asher laugh, and colm joins in the fun by swerving the truck to mess with gabe. very basic dad thing to do, my dad's done the exact same thing to me and my siblings. it feels familiar and silly, and david frames it as a good memory, so it feels like a good memory. which is important to the point of this post

in "celebrating the new house (2022)," we get a little more colm lore:

My dad was forever blowing any cash he made on fucking bets and gambling and shit, chasing some fucking high. My mom was the only reason we didn’t end up out on the fucking street. He didn’t pull his head out of his ass and get some help until after I’d already moved out. So I never got to have that feeling of being in a house that was actually ours, ya know?

already this is a stark contrast to what we've previously heard of colm (i don't think there's any real mention of him between sept 2021 and dec 2022?) and it kinda makes me look at that old memory in a different light, especially with regards to david saying marie was "nagging [colm's] ear off about being irresponsible and a bad example." like. ykwim? like i'm just thinking about that interaction and wondering how far along those problems were at the time, if they were present at all. was this a normal, fun family outing? or would milo have rather been in the truck bed with david, asher, and gabe?

(and the fact that it wasn't until after milo moved out that colm tried getting any help?? i could make a whole other post speculating about milo struggling with wanting to move out of that environment ASAP vs not wanting to leave marie on her own to deal with colm)

so then i'm re-listening to "your werewolf boyfriend is worried about you" and having a visceral reaction to (re-)learning that colm was also an alcoholic:

But what he chose to do with that frustration and that feeling of powerlessness was not his job’s fault, those were his choices. He’s the one who decided to lose himself in booze and gambling and never being home. Never being there for the people he said he loved but apparently couldn’t stand to be around.

the last sentence especially is just an absolute heartbreaker because milo's, what, thirty now? and he's been dealing with this since he was a kid. clearly he's not on great terms with colm. the only times he ever talks about him is when he's shit talking the department. that is a crazy weight for someone to carry their whole life. i don't have experience with the gambling side but i do have an alcoholic family member who i used to be really close to as a kid but grew up to intensely resent as a result of his actions, so it hits a little close to home to see that reflected in milo

but i digress. umm. i bring up the camping story to highlight the most recent mention of colm from milo and how there were good times and sometimes maybe it hurts to remember them when the person involved devastated you as you grew up because they weren't what you thought they were. and how these things follow you through life and impact how you approach certain things. milo has to live with the fact that the same system that royally fucked colm is potentially going to do the same thing to the love of his life; i never drink more than one shot or half a beer, if i drink at all, and i don't like being around drunk people. even though we don't hear about colm very often, his influence is still there whenever milo has to deal with the department in any way

anyway i guess TLDR; imagine living the majority of your thirty years of life feeling like your dad couldn't stand to be around you because he was too busy drinking himself stupid and gambling away every penny he had as a way to deal with the strain that his job put on him. imagine having to witness your mom struggle constantly to keep you cared for. imagine the few good childhood memories you have with your dad being overshadowed by thinking he didn't love you or your mom enough to change. imagine watching the department run your soulmate into the dirt physically and mentally the same way it did your father and wanting to be supportive of them but also being so worried for them. it's a really interesting situation for him to be in and i enjoy it but it hurts me. the end

[eyeglass-violist]

Statement of "Anna", no surname given, regarding their family. Original statement taken from a letter left for Elena Honeysett, date unknown. Recording by Elena Honeysett, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, Washington, D.C. on 19th of July.

Honeybird,

I’m sorry I left. Really, truly, El, I am. I know you don’t believe me, but I just need you to understand that. I just… shit’s been going on and I couldn’t stay. But now it’s worse here, so… karma, I guess? Hope you get a laugh out of my misery.

But… I know what you want from me. You don’t want my pleas for forgiveness. You don’t want me groveling. You want a statement. That’s all Archivists ever want, hah- I’ve got to work for one now, so I guess I’m never escaping your type. He’s a bit more of a hard ass than you, though.

Hm. Where to start.

I grew up well-off. Far more than most did, I guess. Generational wealth and all. I… never knew what my family did to get the money. Never knew what dad’s job was, they only ever called it his “business”. I don’t think he owned any company. Trust me, I’ve tried looking into it. But it doesn’t really matter how, just the fact that we were well-off matters.

It was just me, mom, dad, and my little sister in the house. My sister, Aveline- though, I always called her Ava- was the sweetest kid. She was hardly three years younger than me, so I don’t really remember a time before she was around. But I do remember how she looked at me. I was older, I was supposed to be stronger, I was supposed to be a protector.

Our parents were always weird. Not, like, hippie weird or anti-vax weird, just… strange. They talked so perfectly, every word punctual and deliberate. They dressed perfectly, acted perfectly, interacted with everyone else perfectly. I guess something in the genetic code didn’t get the memo, because me and Ava weren’t like that. We were messy, and loud, and imperfect. And they resented us for it.

Resented might be a strong word… but they didn’t like it. They always corrected us over the smallest slight. I felt like a princess in some stereotypical fantasy movie, where they’d go through the academy to be picture perfect. Because that’s what our parents were. Picture fucking perfect. And, honestly, it was just… unsettling. Freaky, I guess. A person that breathes in perfectly timed intervals isn’t a person.

Ava was always the favorite. I would act out way more, but she was a good kid. Sweet, good grades, never snuck out, didn’t have any of those ‘bad influence’ friends. She tried to keep her head down around mom and dad, and I kept my head up. Took the brunt force of their disappointment, let Ava skirt by. I didn’t really mind it, honestly. As long as she was happy.

I’d sneak out sometimes, swear Ava to silence if she caught me. I’d hang out with some friends, be normal for a while. I got into a lot of trouble doing that, but Ava almost always found a way to cover for me. I’d tell her she didn’t have to, and she’d tease me, “Who’s gonna save me if I get kidnapped if you’re grounded?”, she’d say.

It was manageable. Until it wasn’t, I guess.

Ava had started acting weird. Like, the perfect kind of weird. It really started to freak me out. I don’t… really know how to describe it. It’s hard to word how a perfect person can be a bad thing. But I just knew whatever it was wasn’t my sister, not like she had been replaced, but just… trapped. Like a puppet dancing around.

It was her eyes that got me. Everything she did was slowly becoming that weird freak perfect, but her eyes changed in a different way. She looked afraid. In constant fear of- of herself, or her surroundings, I don’t know. But I knew what fear looked like. And I saw it in her every single day. It was unbearable.

Then, one day, she was missing. See, we shared a room. Something that just became habit so we could keep each other safe. When I woke up, and she wasn’t in bed, I panicked. She never woke up before me, even when her alarm went off. I’d always be the one throwing a squishmallow at her until she got fed up with me.

It was… spring, I think. I wasn’t really keeping track of the days, but it was spring break, so we were off from school. I was 15. It was her birthday, and her birthday’s earlier in the year than mine, so she was 13. Just… background knowledge. Not at all me delaying talking about it.

I started looking around, calling out for her. She wasn’t in the house, and mom and dad weren’t either. I ran. I don’t know where I was going. Just wherever my feet took me. That ended up being through mom’s garden, sprinting down the trail through the towering brush me and Ava would always wander down to clear our heads.

I was screaming her name. I think, at least. I couldn’t hear anything over the pounding of my heart. My throat became hoarse at some point, though, so go figure. Tears stung my eyes and I was so sure that I had failed her.

The trail took me to a shed. Just mom’s garden shed. But I knew I needed to go in there. Something was… drawing me to it. The door was slightly cracked. I didn’t hesitate opening it. I wish I did.

My sister was inside. Or, well, what… used to be my sister. Now she was just- something else. But she was still in there. Somewhere. I know she was.

There were hooks digging into her ankles, knees, hands, and shoulders. There was one final hook buried into the back of her skull. Blood dripped from every wound, but it was slow, as if she had been here a while and didn’t have much blood left to drip out. Tied to the hooks were thick ropes of yarn that connected to the support beams crossing over the roof of the shed. She hung there, limp, and I… I stood there.

It was when I reached out to her, my hand resting on her cheek just as hot tears ran down my own, that she jumped to life. She wailed in pain as the strings yanked the hooks around, moving her body against her will. I jumped back, stumbling and falling to the ground as her arms spread wide open and she slightly bowed down. A mockery of her voice called out to me, told me to help her, to complete the dance.

I looked for the source of the voice, and just behind her, I saw mom and dad. Mom held a marionette in her hands, one with a blank face but crudely dressed and adorning wiry hair in a way that mimicked Ava. She moved the marionette, positioning it to start a foxtrot and holding it still. I watched as Ava cried out, her limbs contorting to do the same.

I didn’t know what to do. So I ran. I left my sister alone to die in that shed. I just kept running and running until I physically couldn’t anymore. I collapsed, maybe two.. three miles from my house. I woke in a strangers home, a woman holding a damp rag over my forehead and a man hovering just behind her, both faces creased with worry.

I told them my parents were killing my sister. The police turned up, and the shed was empty. There was no blood, no yarn, no hooks. My sister and parents were gone. I didn’t tell them the full story. I didn’t want to be seen as damaged goods more than I already was, I mean, since my parents were gone they’d put me in the foster care system.

You know the rest.

I hope this is… satiating, I guess. Heard a rumor going around that people who give statements end up with nightmares. Hah. Hahah. It’s your fucking head if I get one, honeybird.

Yours always,

Anna

Archivist’s Notes ;

This is… interesting. I feel- ahm.. rejuvenated? It may be the light adrenaline from reading the statement. I always did get too involved in my stories…

I’m not sure where this letter came from. I came into work today and it was simply sat on my desk, delicately sealed in a deep green envelope. There is no 'Anna' on my staff, nor could I find one in my contact list. The letter seems to have been meant to be mailed, at some point, but never actually went through the system.

All of that aside, I tried to confirm what I could. I couldn’t enlist the help of any of my staff for this, all of them got dodgy when I mentioned the name of the statement giver and, for once in their lives, actually had work to do. What I could find was a news article about a wealthy family going missing; a father, a mother, and their youngest daughter. The article does mention the family having another daughter, but nothing further on the subject. It’s been ruled a cold case after the police spent just over a year looking and found exactly zero clues. Like the family just got wiped off the face of the Earth. Strange…

— E. Honeysett, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, Washington, D.C.

[crescentfool]

deltarune thoughts (abridged)

it's been a month since chapter 3 + 4 dropped, i wanted to put some of my feelings out there, if you want to read you can find it under the cut :)

wow. what a phenomenal game, i really love how many references and genres get mixed into deltarune... the different minigames in chapter 3 are really, really endearing to me.

i also feel like i learn something new about the game whenever i watch other people's playthroughs. people like to interact with things differently and i think the fact that this is rewarded is beautiful...

honestly the depth of this game has made me want to go and check out earthbound (it's already on my list), i feel like it would explain a lot about toby's influences, lol...

as for the actual content, i already found chapter 1 and 2 really entertaining but i feel that the themes and stakes became a lot more pronounced to me with these recent chapters...

to try and keep it short, some bullet points...

i want to stick minato p3 and kris in the same room together. something something about blue haired protagonists being host to something/akin to a cage. they are very adjacent to me... 💙

SUSIE 🥺🥺🥺🥺 !!! i have loved seeing more of her personality throughout these most recent chapters. something about her being able to actually learn something from gerson made me really emotional 😭

also susie is just very kind and caring... the way she went from feeling like she wasn't cut out to be a hero but now has hope in her heart makes me smile big time... im care her...

the worldbuilding is so incredibly fun... i love love thinking about the real-life equivalents of the darkeners. i still feel that there's so much to learn since ralsei knows a lot, but he doesn't know when to share it...

chapter 4 is really good in this respect with setting up the stakes... i just love the lore with the prophecy and whatnot and how gerson chooses to approaches it... honestly he was such a highlight for me he was super funny. to me. and wise. it's really resonant with me tbh

the roaring knight showing up was soo. JAW DROPPED... i don't really get too invested into theorizing about things but they're such a good point of intrigue and mystery to me... black knife is easily one of my favorites from the OST it's so haunting.

the fights are so fun and cutes. i love the fights for jackenstein, mike, and tenna especially :D !!!

speaking of tenna. i did a. complete 180 on him. i thought he was kind of grating and annoying at first... but the more i sat with his character on replays... he grew on me... and now i am obsessed 😔

(people have probably pieced together the above bullet point given my recent reblogs. but. Yeah. his silliness combined with how he handles feelings abandonment is really compelling to me)

i think there's something to be said about ralsei saying that darkeners shouldn't have feelings + telling susie to make friends in the light world... and it being tied to escapism... i'm really curious how this kind of theme will be handled tbh

and that's some of my thoughts...! honestly deltarune was the highlight of june for me. i loved catching glimpses of mario kart world, and version 10.00 of splatoon has been really rewarding since i've been a fan of a series for the decade, but!!!

i dunno, there's something about deltarune that really sparks this feeling of like... joy of creation... and making things... and i think that's wonderful and i want to cherish that feeling while i can :')

and it's also given me something to look forward to in the coming years too which is really nice. it might not be a lot, but it's something, and you know what? i'll take what i can get.

i'm so very curious where the story will go in the future and look forward to going on this rollercoaster. but for now, enjoy uh. watching me reblog people's fanart. there will probably be a lot of tenna (but i like a lot of things about this game...!)... LOL