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kingofpopmj · 11 months ago

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I Don't Know Whether To Live Or Die

Sequel: And It Cuts Like A Knife

Summary: Michael struggles to appreciate his life in the present after receiving a surprise visit from a ghost from his past.

Pairing: Michael Jackson x Reader!

Warning: SAD, READING MAY RESULT IN SOBBING, SCREAMING AND THROWING UP, DON’T HATE ME!

Requested: yes

Loud pounding came from the front door, Michael ran over, laughing at how impatient she sounded.

“You forgot something didn’t you babe?” He shouted before opening the door, revealing a face he was sure he’d never have to see again.

“Michael.” She smiled, her hand sending a shy wave his way. “Hi, how are you?”

“Lisa, what are you doing here?” His ex-wife, a woman who he thought he loved, but all she did was use him. She never truly cared for him which is why she didn’t put up much of a fight when she received the divorce papers.

“I’m sorry to show up like this. I needed to speak with you.”

“What’s going on?”

“May I come in?”

“Uh, let’s— we can talk out here.” He said, stepping out and firmly shutting the door behind him. This visit was going to be problematic enough without him inviting her into his home— their home.

“I don’t know where to start.”

“Well, I don’t have all day, so—”

“Michael, I still love you.” She blurted out, her eyes widened when she realized she didn’t ease into like she’d planned.

“Excuse me?” He stepped away from her, looking at her like she was insane.

“I’m still in love with you.” She reiterated, trying to reach out for his hand.

“I— What?” He rejected her advances.

“I know you’ve moved on and it’s so wrong for me to say this to you. I’m sorry. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. It was eating me alive.”

“Yes, I have moved on and I’m very happy.”

“I know and that’s great. I’m happy for you. This was wrong. I’m so sorry. Can we just forget I said anything?” She bit her lip nervously, unsure of what to say next.

“It is wrong. Jesus, it’s been years Lisa. I finally moved on and I feel like myself again. I found someone. I found my someone. Y/N, she’s my person.”

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t stop thinking about us and it started to feel like maybe we could work now. We’re older, wiser. We’d be better this time around. It feels like the whole idea of right person, wrong time, you know? We were always right for each other, but back then, was the wrong time, but maybe now is the right time.”

“Is this a joke? You come here, to the home I share with Y/N and say this to me?” His voice growing louder. “Do you even understand how disrespectful that is? Lisa, we were never right for each other. We just weren’t. We don’t work together that way. The way I work with Y/N— she’s my right person, right time, all the time, every time. She’s it. She’s who I belong with.”

“It’s not a joke, I wish it was, but it’s how I feel. Yes. You’re right. I shouldn’t have come here. I should’ve kept this to myself. You’ve obviously made your decision. I’m sorry. She’s a very lucky woman. I hope she knows that.”

“I’m the lucky one.” Michael corrected.

He watched as she walked away, climbing into her car and leaving him utterly stunned. It wasn’t until she’d already driven off that he was able to snap out of it. He made it back inside, slamming the door in frustration.

What the hell is wrong with her?

Eight hours. Eight hours had passed since she pulled out of his drive way and he found himself unable to wipe it from his memory. He was sat on the floor of his dance studio, desperately trying to distract himself but nothing worked.

He couldn’t understand why her visit had him so twisted up.

“Babe! I’m home!” Y/N’s voice rang from downstairs, he could tell just from the sound of it that you were smiling. Shit. He’d really lost track of time. He stood up and made his way to you. He was determined to clear his mind during the time it took to get downstairs, but once again, he had failed.

“Hi, my love.” He smiled, kissing her temple as she stood in front of the sink, washing her hands.

“I missed you today. How was your day?”

“Mhm, I missed you. Alright. Yours?”

“Are you feeling okay?” She dried her hands with a dish towel and turned to him, a concerned look on her face.

“Yeah. Yeah.”

“Stressful rehearsals?” She asked, cupping his face lovingly.

“Oh, yeah.” Michael was a no show to rehearsals, he’d completely forgotten. Now, he’s lying to Y/N because of his uncertainty. Whether it was to protect Lisa or himself, he wasn’t sure.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Don’t worry too much. I’m sure you were incredible, you always are.”

“That’s when you’re there. I’m always better when I have you to impress.”

“Invitation accepted. How about I make your favorite for dinner?” She was completely unaware of what had transpired today. She had no idea what Michael was truly thinking and it made him feel guilty.

“I’d love that. Thank you, my love.”

Michael spent the night chasing after sleep. He’d gone back and forth, staring up at the ceiling and watching you sleep peacefully beside him. You were lying close, your arm draped around his torso.

He loved you so damn much.

He had to forget about Lisa and everything she said. She needed to be left in the past where she belonged.

Unfortunately, that was easier said than done.

He was so lost in his thoughts, thinking of every possible scenario and outcome, that he almost didn’t notice the sun rising. He glanced over at the clock, your alarm would be going off any moment. If you saw him awake you’d get worried, so when he heard the alarm sound, he closed his eyes.

He pretended to be asleep, silently making note of how considerate you were. You had woken up immediately, turning off your alarm so it wouldn’t disturb him. You got out of bed carefully, tip toeing over to his side of the bed, pulling the blanket up to cover him and leaving a sweet kiss on his cheek.

You were so damn sweet.

When he heard the bathroom door shut softly, his eyes shot open and he felt a wave of disgust wash over him. He has everything.

You are everything.

He couldn’t lay in bed any longer, so he dragged himself away and his feet carried him to you.

“I’m sorry. Did I wake you?” Y/N asked as he took the place behind her, pulling her back into his chest.

“No, I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” She offered, buttoning up her fitted blouse. “I’m a great listener.”

“We probably should.” He said, his shoulders were slumped over as he feared what was coming. He couldn’t keep anything from you. He couldn’t lie to you. He felt like he was betraying you and he hated it.

“I’m here.” Y/N leaned against the counter, her smile bringing him some comfort.

“I saw Lisa yesterday.” He avoided her eyes, afraid of the impending reaction.

“Lisa?” Her head tilted to the side as she tried to put the pieces together.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, Lisa-Marie, your ex-wife?”

“Yes.”

“My love, that’s why you were so stressed.”

“She said some stuff.”

“What? I don’t understand what her problem is. Are you okay? Did she storm into your rehearsals and yell at you in front of everyone like last time?” She was becoming increasingly protective as she questioned him. Usually, it made him smile, but right now all he could think was how he didn’t deserve it.

“No, she came here.”

“She was here?”

“Yes, she showed up unannounced. We spoke outside on the deck. It threw me off and I ended up missing rehearsals.” He felt the weight being lifted off his shoulders as he told her the truth.

“Oh, well, are you okay?” She knew how vindictive his ex could be, her main concern was making sure Michael was okay.

“Not exactly. I haven’t been able to get the things she said out of my head.” He sounded ashamed as he explained the effect his ex had on him. Y/N felt angry, but more than anything, she ached at the thought of Michael feeling less than.

“Michael, you’re a good man. The best, most beautiful man. Inside and out— you’re perfect. You’re kind, caring, funny and so damn talented. Please, don’t listen to her. Don’t let her get in your head. She says things only to bring you down.”

“She confessed that she still has feelings— she’s still in love with me and it— I don’t know— I— It freaked me out.” He spoke, feeling full of shame.

“That’s a surprising revelation. It makes sense that it would throw you off. I’m sure it was difficult enough to see her again.” Y/N did her best to stay calm even though she wanted to find Lisa and drag her up and down Main Street for even daring to come near Michael.

“I can’t stop thinking about her— about it— about what she said.”

“What?” She wasn’t expecting that. She was sure she heard him wrong until he went on.

“I keep thinking about it. I don’t know— I keep thinking about all the mistakes we made back then and what we could’ve done differently. I just I needed to be honest with you.”

“What?” She repeated. He said ‘we’, but he was referring to Lisa and him. Y/N felt she was being pushed out of the picture right before her eyes.

“She told me she loved me and—”

“It shouldn’t matter. We’re together. You’re with me. It shouldn’t matter what she was to say.”

“It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t matter. I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time forgetting about it. I never thought she would show up and say that to me. I haven’t thought about her in years. I don’t understand what it’s triggered in me.”

“What you could’ve done differently.” She repeated his words with heartbreak written all over her face.

“Seeing her and hearing her confession twisted me up for some reason.”

“Why?”

“I’m not sure. I never thought she actually loved me.”

“Did you love— Do you still love her?” She rephrased her question because she realized how silly it would’ve been. Michael had married Lisa, so he obviously loved her at some point, but loving her still— that’s something she needed to know.

“Y/N…” He shook his head, struggling to look into her eyes and give a definite answer.

“You do, don’t you?” Her voice grew softer, it was the first time he’d ever heard her sound unsure of herself.

“I— I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“Y/N—”

“How could you even say that? You should know. Michael, it’s a simple question. Oh my god. Do you even love me?” She dragged her fingers through her hair, hoping this was a nightmare, it had to be. She wanted so badly to wake up.

“Yes. Yes, I love you. Of course I love you. I just feel a little confused.” His words spewed out as he attempted to answer the question as quickly as possible, so she’d feel no doubt. However, it was too late. If he really loved her like he said he did, then nothing and no one would cause him to feel so confused.

“Confused? Lisa showing up and telling you she still loves you confuses you, why? You lied to me about attending rehearsals because instead you were fantasizing about life with her, what could’ve been…” She looked away from him for the first time and he took that moment to steal a glimpse of her.

“I wasn’t expecting it. No, no, it wasn’t like that, I thought about the things I could’ve done better.” The way Y/N’s face fell, made him want to punch himself. “No, I mean more along the lines of the things I’ve done better with you and it felt so natural. That mess of a relationship with her, how awful she is, it prepared me, made me better to find you, to deserve you. Because you’re perfect for me, you’re everything she isn’t.” He had to admit it sounded better in his head. Basically, he was putting Lisa down to lift Y/N up, but it only made her feel more inferior.

“Do you want to get back with her?”

“I— Y/N…” Once again, no real answer.

“Oh my god. Michael, what does that make me? What even am I to you? A place holder?”

“No, Y/N. God, no. No.”

“You can’t stop thinking about her?”

“I shouldn’t have said anything, but it didn’t feel right to keep it from you. I wanted to be honest.”

“You can’t stop thinking about her.” She reaffirmed his statement and hoped that this time he told her otherwise.

“I’m sorry.” That’s when she truly broke, hearing him say sorry meant there was something to apologize for. There was something real, a place in his heart that wasn’t for her.

“What am I— am I not enough?”

Her words shocked him, but what shocked him even more was how throughout this whole conversation she remained composed. She was angry, but she never raised her voice at him. She was hurt, but she continued to empathize and try to understand his feelings. She’d still looked after him when she shouldn’t have and somehow that made him feel worse.

“Y/N, you are enough. You’re more than enough. You’re so out of my league. I’m the one— I’m not enough. Please—” She practically flew backwards to avoid his touch.

“It’s okay. I’m fine.” She forced herself to smile even though she couldn’t feel anything but pain. The man standing in front of her feeling more like a stranger the longer he spoke.

“Y/N…” Michael struggled to find the words yet again. She put her hands up, silently begging him to stop.

“I’m fine. Everything is fine. I have to go or I’ll be late for work.”

“We can finish talking about this tonight? I know there’s more you’d like to say, rightfully so.”

“There’s nothing left to say.”

She took small steps, backing away from him and eventually disappearing into the bedroom. He stood there dumbfounded. He wondered what the hell was wrong with him. He didn’t care for Lisa. He didn’t love her, not anymore and not the way he loves you. It was a surprise to hear from Lisa, nothing more. He didn’t care to ever see or speak to her again.

“Would you like to go out for dinner?” His voice desperate, carrying through the entire house.

“Sure.” Her short response made him smile. Although, they definitely weren’t fine, he knew that he still had a fighting chance. He could make this up to her. He could fix this.

“You look beautiful. As always.” He smiled nervously, following her out of the bedroom and into the hall.

“Thank you.” She walked fast in front of him not sparring him a second glance.

“Um... can I give you a ride to work?”

“It’s okay. I’ve got a few errands to run during lunch, so I’ll need my car.”

“Alright. Well, I’ll see you tonight.” She shifted uncomfortably, nodding as she descended the first few steps. The sight of her back made his stomach turn. He felt like a complete idiot.

“Wait!” His hand grabbed her arm, stopping her abruptly. She spun around on her heels, giving him a frightened look. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.”

“It’s alright.”

“I’ll see you later?” He leaned into her, but she flinched, straining her neck in the opposite direction, causing his lips to land on her jawline. “I love you. I love you so much.”

She looked at him through sorrow filled eyes. All he wanted to do was absorb the pain he’d inflicted upon her. He’d gladly welcome pain if it meant she’d never feel it again.

“Sorry. I guess— I wasn’t expecting that. You took me by surprise.” He wanted to ask why. He wanted to ask what was so surprising about him giving you a goodbye kiss— something they’d done every morning, but he decided against it.

“It’s okay.” He whispered.

She moved back up the steps, standing directly in front of him for a moment. Slowly, her arms wrapped around his torso and she rested her head against his chest. He didn’t waste a moment pulling her closer. He was thankful she’d let him.

Y/N pulled away, looking into his eyes as she closed the space between them.

She moved so slowly he was able to take in the small details of her face. The crease in the middle of her eyebrows, the way her lips were pointed down in a subtle frown and the tears that were puddled against her eyelashes just waiting to fall. He wanted to tell her he loved her. He wanted to explain his stupidity further. He wanted to apologize again, but he didn’t want to interrupt this moment, not yet.

Her closeness igniting warmth throughout his body as she reached up, her lips finding his.

She threw her arms around his neck and he pulled her closer, losing his balance in the process. They stumbled until his back slammed into the wall, they were chasing each other’s touch while trying to regain their footing.

The kiss grew needy, sloppy and desperate as it felt like a temporary escape for both of them. Y/N tugged at his clothes as his hands roamed her body, caressing every curve. She pulled back gasping for air, she shut her eyes and leaned her forehead against his.

“I’m going to be late.”

“Okay.”

“Goodbye, Michael.”

“I love you.”

“I— I love you too.” Her voice cracked as she stepped out of his embrace, turning away and walking down the stairs. She was out the door when he felt himself breathe again. They were going to be okay he said to himself.

Michael got ready for the day, when he left the house he found himself eager to return at the end of the day.

He missed her already.

The sun had just set when Michael arrived home. He parked the car in the garage and basically ran to the front door. He wanted to see her, hug her, kiss her and tell her how much he adored her.

He only wanted to come home to her.

Michael darted up the stairs, looking for his love, but when he made it to your shared room, he felt his heart drop.

Everything was gone.

The drawers once filled with her clothes— empty. The closet half occupied by her coats and dresses— empty. The shelves in the shower that held her shampoo and conditioner— empty. The house without her in it— empty.

He stood there in disbelief, squeezing his eyes shut as if everything would reappear when he opened them again, but it didn’t. That’s when it all came flooding back, the weight of it all making him feel like he was being buried alive.

This morning, she was barely holding it together and he didn’t pay attention.

“There’s nothing left to say.”

How could he miss it? She’d made it clear. That was clue number one and he overlooked it. The way she moved away from him when she said it, that was just the beginning of his new reality. She’d said there was nothing left for her to say, then walked backwards giving him ample time to speak up. She wasn’t the one who had explaining to do, it was him. That was his chance. She’d thrown out a lifeline and he didn’t take it.

“Goodbye, Michael.”

She never said that, she always said “See you soon, babe.” And, she paired it with that beautiful smile.

He couldn’t believe he didn’t notice it sooner.

He realized it all too late.

It was right in front of him, she sent him every clue, every hint and he should’ve picked up on it, but he didn’t.

She’d essentially handed him every puzzle piece, hoping he’d solve it and stop her from walking out, but he didn’t.

He saw the tears in her eyes and didn’t question them. He didn’t fight to hold her tighter— to hold her longer. He didn’t insist on kissing her cheeks until eventually she’d stop crying, forgetting what brought them on in the first place.

He didn’t fight for her.

He let her slip through his fingers, leading her to believe it was what he’d wanted. He’d made her feel like she wasn’t the one— the only one in his heart, but she was.

She is. She’s the one.

She’d left believing she was doing him a favor. She’d left because even though she loved him, she wanted him to be happy— with or without her. She left him despite the pain it brought her because she’d rather be broken than see him suffer.

This can’t be real. He prayed that this was a dream, but as he felt hot tears hit his chest, he knew it wasn’t. It was a nightmare, but it was real. It was his life.

“I— I love you too.”

She never said that either. He’d say “I love you.” She’d respond, “I love you more.” To which he’d argue, “Not possible.” Then, they’d kiss, damn would they kiss. She’d show up a few minutes late to work everyday because of their ‘kiss’, but today she was on time.

It was corny, yes, but it was their thing. Their routine and when she went off script he hadn’t even given it a second thought. He’d just dropped a bomb on her— one that she didn’t deserve. And, he didn’t press to fix it. He didn’t beg her to hear him out.

He was so focused on apologizing— later. Fixing everything— later. Reminding her what she meant to him— later. Telling her how much he needed her— later. He was so immersed in the idea of later that he didn’t see what was happening in the present. There wouldn’t be another time. They wouldn’t have another later— at least not together. It was like a punch to the gut and he could feel all the air dissipating from his lungs painfully slow.

He wouldn’t get another chance.

You’d said goodbye this morning and it took him until nightfall to realize that he’d lost you.

You’d uttered the final I love you.

You’d held him for the last time.

You’d kissed him goodbye. And, he missed it.

#michael jackson #michael joseph jackson #king of pop #michael jackson imagine #michael jackson x reader #michael jackson fanfic #michael jackson imagines

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clearlykelsey · 16 days ago

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Alright, alright. Second try! Well, welcome to my one and only

Of what? Uhm. Everything, of course! Absolutely everything I want, no one asked for, no one needed! wELCOME TO KELSEY USES GRAMMAR FOR THE FIRST TIMEoh never mind.

As one does, I'll simply put my intro here as well because why not, am I right? ahem line break with whatever THOSE are

Well, yo! It's me, ya boy, Kelsey! You can call me Kel too or whatever else you want really

Currently unable to draw due to broke

He/him, minor, your local atheist loser who thinks Hero omori is very cool and neat and awesome and best bro to kel frfr (PLEASE WORLD GIVE ME A PERSON LIKE HIM IM BEGGING YOU)

INTERESTS: Omori (For 3 years already, can you believe it?), Stardew Valley, Cult of the Lamb, Am I Nima? (just discovered), moths (theyre cool!)

Stuff I know about decently: Warrior cats, Undertale, NITW, Steven Universe, Gravity Falls, Alien Stage, Dead Plate (not really), FNAF (sigh...)

DNI -> Basic stuff, you all know it, come on. Also. Anyone who says the word tummy in my presence

May I note im very cool and swag? because i am!! not really though i started crying last time i tried to talk to that cool highschooler one of my irl friends is friends with (note: i had already talked to him before multiple times) Anywho, maybe i'll be awkward or even shy with you at first but. please run while you can. my friends probably regret talking to me because i keep spamming messages

Number 3 Hero fan, Kel kinnie (even if it doesnt look like it), professional frozen strawberry eater (ate a whole 1kg pack by myself in less than a week) and master procrastinator

BOOM HAVE MY PLAYLIST!

i also uhm. play roblox. and. have only like 2 friends that play with me but theyre never online. and my cool hero kinnie friend dipped a year ago. so. uhm. uhm. its uh. blueberrydahooman. i know its stupid i cant afford to change it tho

How do I do this?? just gonna throw everything here separated by uh sections yes. im such a genius.

Tags I use (sometimes)

Just Kel yapping - Pretty self explanatory

Hector observing - I take shitty pics of my homemade hector and post here for you all to see because isnt he AWESOME??

... And that's it.

ALSO! ✏️ for writing (yap, text), 🖊️for art, both for... Well, both. Why pen? Because I only draw in pen irl nowadays!

SUNLESS AU

(AKA the au i may or may not be proud of)

The day I came up with this god awful idea (not) -✏️

The first yap (oh no) - ✏️🖊️

The day almost NO ONE VOTED SO i picked it myself - ✏️🖊️

CHIP! He's real! - ✏️🖊️

Should I include this? I dunno. For now, I will! - ✏️

You feed into this madness... Why would you? Well, thanks! - ✏️

Wow! People like it! Awesome! - ✏️

Alas, Chip. - 🖊️

Doodles. I don't like them. - 🖊️

It took long, but the Chip profile arrived to provide context - 🖊️

Whatever THAT means. It's barely anything! - ✏️🖊️

The poll, so you're aware which is next, I guess - ✏️

Static... But better - 🖊️

Shitpost 1: Have a Sunless Kel dog! - 🖊️

Shitpost 2: He's sad. It's all your fault, anon - 🖊️

Shitpost 3: Happy! Yippee! - 🖊️

Yap, yap, yap. Important, though. - ✏️

Compliments......... I LOVE THOSE!! - ✏️

Static... But WAY better! - 🖊️

Tired. (TW Suicide... Mention? You can see the rope.) - 🖊️

This might be sunless au suntan song frfr

More songs. I'm just spewing out my playlist at this point

Stuff I'd like you to look at

AKA drawings I made and youre legally required to like

Mari

Mari...?

Whatever those are.

Porcupie.

Literal thing with most notes in my blog. Why though???

Messing around with brushes (TW: Suicide)

OMORI! I LOOVE this one!! Pls look at the details thank you

Mitaño AU my beloved

Suntan peak frfr

crack

Animation. Kinda. Im kidding it has 1 second and i'll never finish it

Misunderstanding? Maybe! Happy? Absolutely.

Basil

Hero in a dress. literal biggest flex i have is that spinnileaf reblogged it and i feel so cool man

Baby brother!

The HS Kel saga??

(its hs kel but i insist on making sequels) (i'll continue it) (i think) (does anyone even like it)

Never to be seen again.

Still rising

Still...

byebye this is it for today, next up itll be hector observing

#masterpost #this is for the two people that im sure at least like sunless au #unless you dont anymore #then uhm #sorry #byebye #Spotify

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ratlesshonret · 6 months ago

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RatlessHonret's (Totally Biased) Ranking of RPG-Maker Horror* Games

*Some games, namely Yume Nikki/2kki and OFF, may be argued to not be "horror" games. However, I included them because, even if they do not fit the genre of RPG-Maker Horror, they are both adjacent to and incredibly influential upon the genre

This is gonna be a long post. But I love RPG-Maker Horror. I've loved it for a long time. So I decided, why not take every one I've played, and put them in one big tier list of Twenty-Three Games.

Below the cut, I'm going to explain my rankings of each game. So if you disagree with me, then uh. At least read that first, and then mald in the comments about OFF only being C or some random shit nobody has ever heard of making it into A.

(Also, every game will have a link to download/buy in this post, in case one interests you)

Pocket Mirror / Pocket Mirror ~ GoldenerTraum 10/10 Creator: Astral Shift Original Release: July 22, 2016 (Free!) GoldenerTraum Release: February 6, 2023 ($20 USD)

Originally released in 2016, I was just the right age for this game to leave a massive impression on my psyche. This game has shaped who I am as a person in ways that I'm still just coming to understand (like possible plurality?)

A young girl wakes up in a room with no memory of who she is or what she must do. With nothing but a Pocket Mirror in her possession, and a voice telling her to keep her memories close to her heart, she must navigate a frightening world full of the unknown and the untrustworthy.

The music? Amazing. The graphics? For the time, amazing, and only improved in the remaster. The story? Top tier for a game of its kind. Characters? Super memorable. The scares are not that great, but honestly you don't play any of the games on this list for the horror.

I love every single thing about this game. It changed who I am as a person for the better, and has become the lens through which I view most things in my life. I frequently refer to it as my favorite game of all time, because it is.

This game is also the axis upon which every other game on this list is judged. If a game is a 5/10, it does not mean its a 5/10 game necessarily, just that it is when I compare it to Pocket Mirror.

So please, play Pocket Mirror. I beg of you.

.flow 10/10 Creator: lolrust Original Release: February 15, 2009 (Free!)

The single best Yume Nikki Fangame (ynfg) ever released, in my humble opinion. A combination of small worlds, a hostile feeling environment, and a general eerie ambience make this game an unsettling one to walk around in.

The game follows the traditional Yume Nikki formula. Go to computer, enter dream world, walk around, see random shit, gather effects, get endings.

The smallness is what I enjoy about this game. Some other ynfgs (and even the original) tend to have massive worlds, and a lot of them at that. It isn't as though navigation in .flow isn't confusing, but its not as much of a chore as a game that makes you run for two hours to get anywhere.

The story is also not clear. Up to interpretation. Kind of like the original Yume Nikki before they made a bunch of stuff trying to add a story to it and canonize fan theories, or whatever is happening with that game. lolrust has been very cagey about a lot of aspects of the "plot" to the game, and aside from occasional talks of a potential sequel, the game has been dormant for about six years now, with its last update in 2019.

If any developer mastered the Yume Nikki formula and made it into something I actively enjoy playing, its lolrust. I have to give massive props to them for making such a great game. (Also, I gotta support fellow enbies in gamedev when I can)

Lily's Well 10/10 Creator: PureIceBlue Original Release: January 4, 2022 ($10 USD)

A delightful little body-horror focused mindfuck of a game. In fact, if you like body horror, this may be the best game on this list. And there's lots of bonus content beyond the game as well, such as the Lily's Birthday video, for those who really wanna delve deep into the lore.

A young girl is home alone, and hears a voice coming from her well outside. She must gather materials for a rope, to descend deep into the well. But what is truly at the bottom?

This game's story is told brilliantly, and the twist really is a horrifying one to think about for too long. I don't wanna say too much, so I'll just recommend you to play it for yourself. Its only like, 3-4 hours long at most.

I Cannot Drown 9/10 Creator: PureIceBlue Original Release: June 30, 2019 (Free!)

A sort of prequel to Lily's Well, I Cannot Drown is a game about trying to be returned to the mortal realm. Another body horror adventure, this game focuses a lot more on the eerie ambience typical of the ynfg genre.

Honestly, there isn't much to say. Its a ynfg, there's body horror, you know the deal. Though I must say, it is probably the only ynfg to genuinely creep me out. So pick it up, its free, and play for a few hours. It isn't that long.

Ib 8/10 Creator: kouri Original Release: February 27, 2012 (Free!) Remake Release: April 11, 2022 ($13 USD)

You know this game. I don't even need to explain it, honestly.

What is there to say about Ib? It's Ib. Better puzzles than usual for an RPG Maker Horror experience (though not quite top tier imo), an interesting story, INCREDIBLY charming characters, and its just. Fun to play, I find.

I get why this game is a classic I have dissed on it too hard over the years, I've come to learn.

Cat in the Box 8/10 Creator: Gustav Original Release: May 1, 2020 ($7 USD)

This is probably one of the most confusing games on the list in terms of placement for many. This small game, which many have never heard of, getting this high of a placement on the list?

You are a content creator for an unspecified video sharing platform, looking to hit it big. So, you decide to head to a haunted house, said to be home to a cult that mysteriously disappeared. In your chase of the content, you become trapped inside, and must find your way out.

In a nutshell, this game is a twist on the typical "girl gets stuck in big house with scary killer" genre of RPG Maker Horror. However, the twists, turns, and visuals within this game make it an interesting take on the formula. The art that is original is good, which more than makes up for the default assets that make up the majority of the game (which imo, isn't much of a negative in the first place.)

Give it a look if you have some free time. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Project Kat - Paper Lily Prologue 8/10 Creator: Leef 6010 Original Release: October 15, 2021 (Free!)

Another smaller game, with less of a fanbase. I want to be clear that I haven't found the time to play the game to which this is a prologue, of which the first chapter came out... semi-recently.

An occultism-obsessed girl sneaks into her school at night, looking to perform a ritual to test its validity. As a skeptic, she doubts it'll work, but tries it out regardless.

I love the writing in this game. The characters are strong, there's some cute moments, and it gets appropriately fearsome if you follow the intended path to the "true" ending.

Though honestly, this is one of those games where the true ending is so depressing I almost want some of the happier alternate endings to be canon instead. Either way, its a fun way to kill some hours, and a good take on a classic formula. You can't go wrong with that.

Little Goody Two Shoes 8/10 Creator: Astral Shift Original Release: October 31, 2023 ($20 USD)

Going to be up front: This game was saved from a 7 rating by it being Pocket Mirror's prequel.

Elise is a girl tired of living in her boring old town with her annoying neighbors. So she does what any reasonable person would do: partakes in a deal with a demon. What will happen next? Find out for yourself.

This game for sure has its issues, but I love it. The art is phenomenal, and the story is great. My main issues come from how much dialogue you need to skip through on replaying for endings and some of the puzzles being a bit obtuse and annoying.

Overall, I do love this game. I may have overhyped myself for it, causing a touch of disappointment when it wasn't literally a perfect game, but I think anyone playing it will heavily enjoy their time with the game if they're inclined to liking these sorts of games (which, if you're reading this post, you probably do)

Sorry, We're Open + No Delivery 7/10 Creator: Oates Original Release (SWO): February 17, 2023 ($8 USD) Original Release (ND): September 26, 2019 ($5 USD)

The first "VCRPGs" by Oates on this list, these two games are being ranked as a pair due to their similarities with each other and my identical overall ranking of the two. I'd say Sorry, We're Open is a bit stronger overall, but not enough to bump it up a point for me.

No Delivery follows a pizza restaurant in the 80's, with a mysterious past and odd rumors floating around. As a roguelike, your job is to delve deeper into the pizzeria, gaining more knowledge with each new employee you control.

Sorry, We're Open is a very similar premise, although following a retail store instead.

These two games sort of blend together in my mind, but I think you'll know if you like them just on sight. The aesthetics are good, the writing is good, and overall I really enjoy these games for what they are.

The Boogie Man 6/10 Creator: Uri Games Original Release: Feb 13, 2018 ($3 USD)

The third game in the "Strange Men" series, you follow a detective sent on vacation to an old castle by your boss. As you're there, your strained relationship with your wife comes to a head, your past comes to haunt you, and some fucking guy is also trying to kill people or whatever.

This is much closer to "classic" RPG Maker Horrors than some of the previous entries on this list. Many endings, obscure requirements, and frequent tropes that aren't as common now as they used to be.

Overall, this game is my favorite in the series. Its very rough around the edges, but has enough intrigue to it that I don't mind it so much after getting used to it.

Ann 6/10 Creator: Rong Rong Original Release: August 26, 2021 (Free!)

This game, while short, has a lot of charm to it. The art is great, and the story, while maybe a weak point of the game, does have its moments for sure.

An art student named Ann is locked in her school after hours, and strange events begin to occur. As she's helped by the security guard, she must uncover the history behind the school and attempt to escape with her life.

Overall, this game's main strength is just the charm it carries. Its very earnest in a way I love. And as mentioned earlier, the art really carries it. If you're just looking for a free, low-energy way to pass a night, this game is perfectly good. Who knows, you may end up liking it even more than I do.

Turtle Head / Turtle Head Unmasked 6/10 Creator: Pikasprey Original Release: May 3, 2016 (Free!) Unmasked Release: May 9, 2021 (Free!)

What happens when a YouTuber known for making RPG Horror content decides to create his own RPG Horror game? The answer is a veritable love-letter to the genre, with enough of a following to create a fanmade (and officially endorsed) remake five years later.

You and your friends sneak into school after hours to look into rumors about whether or not it is haunted. Along the way, you encounter spooks, scares, and the titular Turtle Head.

This game is practically the definition of traditional. As I mentioned, it is basically a love letter to the classics of the late-2000's to early-2010's. And while many of its ideas are old, they're executed rather well, and the game has no lack of charm to back those ideas up.

If you want to play a nice homage to games of eras past, both the original release and the remake are free to play whenever you want, and only take an estimated 2 or so hours to clear. I think the short length is actually the only thing holding it back from being even higher on this list for me.

(Also, this ranking is totally biased by my being a Pikasprey fan, and him having been what got me into this genre in the first place all those years ago)

Nobody's Home 6/10 Creator: Oates Original Release: March 25, 2020

Another "VCRPG" by Oates, this game is much shorter than the ones higher up this list. However, it carries the exact same style as the games before, albeit with slightly different gameplay.

After a rager of a party, you wake up in a house, and must wander around to figure out why... Nobody's Home.

I think the short length of this game compared to the other two is the only reason I placed it so low compared to them. If this game were much longer, I'd place it higher. But if you want a bite-sized Oates experience to introduce yourself to these "VCRPGs," then this is the place to look.

OFF 5/10 Creator: Mortis Ghost Original Release: May 14, 2008 (Free!) Remake Release: 2025 (Not Yet Released)

This ranking may be divisive. I don't think I even need to explain what OFF is, since you've probably heard of it if you're reading this.

I don't dislike OFF. I simply don't find much enjoyment in it, either. That's why I give it a perfect 5/10. Middle of the road for the genre, to me. I also have no nostalgia for this game, having only first experienced it like... last year?

I get why people love it, and if you haven't tried it you totally should, but its just not for me.

Coffin of Ashes 5/10 Creator: Ladomu Original Release: December 8, 2016 ($7 USD)

Another one very few have probably heard of.

Tell me if you've heard this one before: A girl gets caught in the rain, takes shelter in a mansion, and has spooky stuff happen.

The art of the game is really good, which makes up for all the default assets used. The plot is also pretty good, which is this game's saving grace to becoming memorable for me.

...Until the end. Honestly, the game really drops the ball with the plot in the last, like, five minutes. Which is the only reason this game isn't a 6 or maybe even a 7.

Overall, this is a good one to check out if you've played through a bunch of other games like this and are looking for something new to play. One of those "make fun of it but because you kind of like it" kind of games.

The Witch's House / The Witch's House MV 4/10 Creator: Fummy Original Release: October 3, 2012 (Free!) MV Release: October 31, 2018 ($15 USD)

The classic of classics, this game exploded when it released, and really served as an inspiration for the entire genre.

Which means it, to me, suffers the problem of "everything in the genre was inspired by it, so by the time i first experienced it, it felt super basic and bland"

I get why it is important! And why people still like it! I just, like some others on this list, have no nostalgia for it and wasn't gripped by the plot or characters or art. Or really anything about it. Maybe if I had seen it earlier, or it had been my first RPG Maker Horror, like it was for so many others, I would like it more.

As it stands, this game is a classic, for better and for worse.

The Sand Man + The Crooked Man 4/10 Creator: Uri Games Original Release (SM): February 28, 2014 ($3 USD) Original Release (CM): April 1, 2013 ($3 USD)

The first two games in the Strange Men series, The Crooked Man and The Sand Man are basically one long game in my mind. So I ranked them together.

These are also classics among classics, albeit maybe not to the level of OFF or Witch's House. Overall these games are fine, but suffer for their age.

Both games are obviously dated, using tropes and design elements characteristic of early-2010's RPG Maker Horror games. But they're good overall, with decent enough plots and art. I'd say give them a try if you have a spare afternoon or two to play through them. (There are also ways to get the original versions of these games for free, but from what I can tell the Steam versions are identical. You can search out those other versions if you don't wanna blow six bucks on them)

Yume Nikki 3/10 Creator: kikiyama Original Release: June 26, 2004

This may end up being the most controversial placing on this list. A THREE? FOR YUME NIKKI? JUST WHO ARE YOU???

I don't like this game. I'm sorry but I don't. And I won't go on a long diatribe about how its actually bad or anything, because that'd be boring, but I just don't.

I think this game suffers from what came after. Every subsequent attempt to make some "official" Yume Nikki thing that came after was terrible. And in my mind it made the original less and less interesting over time. It also just suffers from oversaturation to me.

Finally, there's just SO MANY ynfgs out there that are better. There's not much reason to play the original, in my mind.

So, let me give you a list of Games I'd Rather Play: .flow answered prayers deep dreams muma|rope amillusion dream genie mikan muzou

Ao Oni 2/10 Creator: noprops Original Release*: October 2008 (Free!) Remake Release: July 25, 2024 ($10 USD) *no link is given for the reason of too many versions of the game to choose which one i want to link as the "definitive" one

If you read my sections on OFF, Witch's House, Ib, and Yume Nikki, then you'd know why I don't like this game. Its kind of a combination of all of the above, to be honest.

No nostalgia, not gripped by the art or plot, and kind of milked to death after release, as well as being oversaturated in the culture of those who play these games.

Truly suffering from success, I'd say. Though to be honest, this game really feels like a relic of its time to me. Something better left in the past.

But maybe to some, its more of a treasure of a bygone era.

Mad Father 2/10 Creator: Sen Original Release: December 10, 2012 (Free!) Remake Release: September 23, 2016 ($10 USD)

Where to start? A plot that I remember as "confused," a remake that was plagued with bugs on release, and a cultural impact that I'd best describe as "overrated," Mad Father is obviously, by its ranking, a game I have never enjoyed.

You've heard me say this all a lot, but: No nostalgia, not gripped by the plot, and not caring for the fandom. Truly a triple-threat.

I don't want to keep talking shit about Mad Father, because I know fans of it are probably reading this, but it is one of three games on this list I genuinely do not like.

And the third game is...

Yume 2kki 1/10 Creator: Various Original Release: May 26, 2007

If "Quantity over Quality" was a video game.

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achromatophoric · 6 months ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/museaway/746766290005508096?source=share

2,3,4,7,8,9,10,14,16,17,19,22,24,25,26,28

-🤔

[Warning: This is stupid long. Yikes.]

2. Character’s POV being explored:

Oops. My Incorrect Quotes don’t really have a POV. 😅 I think at most, I’ve explicitly removed a character from the end of a couple, to emphasize the joke through only the remaining character’s dialogue.

3. Feelings about current WIP:

I’m not happy with the end, so it might just sit there for a few more days until I figure it out.

4. Unwritten story idea:

I have a very rough outline of an actual fic! Future Wenclair, post college. It’s… super dark. Just a torrid angst spiral from Enid’s POV, where she begins to unwittingly choose her work and social life over her wolf and Wednesday, with terrible consequences.

I put it together last year, before I actually started writing anything. It’s unlikely to see the light of day, because I honestly don’t have the energy, attention span, and sequential periods of uninterrupted free time to try writing anything in long format. 😢 Maybe someday!

7. Preferred writing font:

Something san serif. I’d prefer one with a bit more letter spacing, but I’m stuck with Tumblr’s default font, Favorit-Tumblr.

8. If I had to sequel one:

Probably this old one, about Wednesday and her pet blog. I have ideas about reblogs and blog reproductive cycles.

9. Elapsed time for the last one:

Today’s took maybe 10-15 minutes from start to posting. I needed something short since I wanted to do my daily post before answering this Ask. My notes only read “Hard to swallow” and it basically wrote itself. It took just as long to find the right animated gif as it did to write it out. 😅

10. Longest rest for a draft before completion:

Intentional rest? I guess this one at 5-ish days, where the gang takes turns answering the question: What’s the best thing about dead bodies? I just wasn’t feeling the gang’s banter, so put off fiddling with it until it felt interesting again.

There’s normally scant delay between writing and posting. If I’m lucky, I might have 1 or 2 completed IQs waiting to be posted. I try to post at least 2 per day and I’m terrible at not posting one the moment it’s completed, so… yup. 😒

14. Inspiration source:

Primarily the fandom! I wouldn’t be able to write these if I hadn’t first read so many Wenclair fics that parodying the characters became possible. I really do rely on the community-created tropes and personalities to act as the skeleton upon which meaty puns are anchored.

16. Favorite place to write:

In my home office during work hours, where I can go mostly undisturbed, have a super comfy Steelcase Leap to relax in, music, and a tablet at the ready.

Yes, work hours. I tend to do my job quickly and well, but nothing gets those creative juices going better than having something else you should be doing. 😅

17. Writing and editing process:

Idea? Jot it down. Keep a list. Time to write? Check ideas. Pick one that looks fun. Write it. Nothing interesting? Uh. Do one of the following:

Look through animated gifs of dogs doing derpy things for wolf Enid (tedious AF)

Search idioms based on words that Wednesday can take too literally

Wonder what would piss off Bianca > Yoko > Weems > other character (ordered by favorite)

Think up a bad joke for Enid to tell Wednesday so she gets mortifyingly aroused

Find slang for Wednesday to misinterpret

If all else fails, dive into that gutter humor 😬

Etc?

With an idea in hand, I just start writing it out straight in the Tumblr app. Totally rawwolfing it. When it’s done, I review and check for (and fail to find) errors. Sometimes I’ll run it by my SO, who isn’t a Wenclair fan, but can confirm if a joke makes sense.

After that, I tag and release the thing into the wild, so it may derp free of my fragile little skull.

19. Most interesting fic-related research topic:

The historical material composition of hanging nooses and the strength differences between traditional hemp and modern Manila hemp, which is actually made from a specific Filipino banana tree as opposed to Cannabis plants.

All that for a joke about thread count. 😗

22. Worries about public reaction and how to get past it:

It hasn’t really come up. Honestly, I’m just happy that people read my stuff and can enjoy a laugh. It helps that I haven’t received much criticism, but I’ve also worked for years in a graphic design-related field that forced me to be able to produce (often dumb) fruit even when in an inhospitable environment near barren of sincere appreciation and/or constructive criticism. 😬 Kinda like a creative extremophile.

For advice to get past it? Keep at it. Find your audience(s) if you care to and focus on them. Keep in mind what you enjoy about the hobby and nurture that sucker. Learning how to shrug off negativity takes experience, but when in doubt, take a break! It’s a hobby, and even if it may at times feel otherwise, remember that it does not define you.

24. Recharge method when not creative:

Reading Wenclair fics and listening to audiobooks. I always have a book queued up and jump between fantasy, urban fantasy, lit rpg, cozy fantasy, sci-fi, bio-terrorism thrillers, queer romance, queer horror, and queer coming-of-age. 😅

25. Hobbies other than writing:

Drawing and semi-regular D&D. There’s other stuff I haven’t had time to enjoy lately, like computer games, clay sculpting, mask making, dancing, juggling, fire spinning, etc.

26. Writing around others:

I am always around others outside of work, so I make do. It’s usually fine, unless said others are those who are prone to toddling. Trying to write around one of them is often a lost cause. 😭

28. Least favorite part of the writing process:

For me, it’s transcribing posts from Tumblr to AO3. Particularly posts with a lot of styling, like small text and Chat. Not everything copy/pastes 1-to-1 and some chapters have to be manually edited as html, which is stupendously tedious doing on the phone. And if it has an image? Uuughghghh. 😖

OMG I’m done! I’m free! FREE! FR—

#wenclair #my fics #my fanfic writing #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #writer thoughts #writing struggles #answered asks #asks answered #asks #not an incorrect quote

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waywardxwords · 2 years ago

Text

Healing Wounds

Summary: Sequel to Empty - It had been close to a year since your run-in with Sam Winchester. You had spent the time hunting recklessly, which landed you in a predicament you didn’t think you could escape from. This tells the story of seeing Sam once more after his soul has been restored.

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Female Reader

Word Count: ~4k

Warnings: Swearing, mention of vomit/nausea (no description), blood, Supernatural-y things (vamps), heartbreak (but fixing it with fluff), angsty, very limited talk about mental health and personal struggles

A/N: There may be one final part in this. I felt like there was too much to cover in one part. But this also wraps up all of the angst from Empty. Let me know what you think! And if you'd like to see this storyline continue at all :) Thanks in advance!

The first phone call came about eight months after you had seen Sam.

“Hello?” You answered, unsure of the number that had called you. But in the world of hunting, you always answered. Hunters were known to work their way through cell phones or have burners as back-up.

But this was a voice you had willed yourself to forget over the last eight months. Your name fell in a gentle murmur from his lips, but it sounded bitter to your ear. “It’s, uh, it’s Sam,” he cleared his throat in a way that told you he was uncomfortable making this phone call.

“Sam,” you said curtly. Your friend and hunting partner, Alicia McCaffrey, looked at you with wide eyes.

“Hang up that damn phone,” she muttered through gritted teeth as she followed you into the motel room and closed the door behind her.

You wanted to, really–you did. But somehow you couldn’t bring yourself to do it just yet. “Are you and Dean alright?” You asked firmly. You had learned that just a few months after your run-in with Sam, Dean had gotten back in the game. Bobby had filled you in on a call he had made to ask you about a hunt you had been on. Dean had tried to reach out twice to see you, but he could tell by the sound of your voice and shortness of your responses, you weren’t willing to come back to hunt with the Winchester duo.

“Y-Yeah,” he stumbled over his words–and here again, he sounded different. But you knew better. You had witnessed it for yourself. “We’re fine, we’re okay,” you were able to breathe a little easier. There was a pause on his end, and you didn’t understand why. “God, this is so hard to explain over the phone. There’s…there’s so much I wanna say…” his voice fell off again.

“Sam, I don’t really have time for this–” your heart raced against your sternum.

“I know, I know I don’t deserve it. Please, just let me explain–” it was your turn to cut him off.

“Sam, all I want is for you to lose my number,” the words felt angry as they left your mouth. As much as it still hurt, you pulled the phone from your ear and hit ‘End’.

It had been months since you had heard from Sam Winchester. Months of reckless hunting, which wasn’t usually your style. But you had a hard time caring anymore. The heartache from your one night rendezvous with the youngest Winchester had wrecked you in ways you didn’t realize were possible.

Alicia McCaffrey had become one of your closest friends, but even she had to take a step back. “You’re dangerous,” she had breathed one night after a hunt. “I can’t keep putting myself in life or death situations with you, kid.” You knew she was right–she didn’t deserve to be put in precarious circumstances because you had gotten your heart broken. Hell, she had even warned you that she thought it was a bad idea. Had you trusted your gut, even you knew it was the wrong decision. Sam wasn’t the same man you had known, and yet you went through with it anyway. You would be paying the price for the rest of your life, even if that would be a short time.

So you hunted alone now. It was for the best. You avoided the phone calls from Bobby, and anyone else you knew from that past life because you refused to open up the book of pain. You no longer cared if another hunter was calling you for help, the emotions were too overwhelming: hurt, pain, embarrassment…

With a quick shift of your wrist, your blade slashed through a vampire’s neck. You didn’t even flinch as his head rolled–eyes wide open as he had a moment to process his demise.

“You bitch,” an older vampire spat in your direction as his body moved quicker than you could turn. He caught the spot on your neck in an instant. The shrill pain of his fangs as they gnawed through your warm flesh elicited a scream from your lips. Without hesitation, you reached in your back pocket and very quickly popped the plastic cap off before you smashed the syringe into the side of his neck. He pulled back from you with a shriek as he stumbled.

“Dead man’s blood, asshole,” you grumbled as your fingertips pressed to the wet spot on your neck. It almost felt like you could feel your pulse through the blood and torn flesh. You shook the white spots from your vision and didn’t falter as you swung your machete across his neck. For a moment, you were disappointed. You could hear others coming down the hall of the abandoned estate–their chatter and growling echoed along the halls and bounced off of the marble floors.

You weren’t sure why you were disappointed. For months now, you had been living life on the edge–like Alicia had said before she left, “You have a death wish, kid. And I’m not stickin’ around for you to see it through.” So wasn’t this it? Wasn’t this what you had wanted? You thought the answer was yes, so why did it feel so wrong now that you were practically staring Death in the face?

With a quick breath, you tried to swallow past the lump of emotion bubbling in your throat. You pulled your fingers from the spot on your neck that leaked with more blood every time your heart reverberated against your chest. With narrowed eyes, you stared down the hallway where the other vamps were swiftly approaching. After a few rotations of your machete, you took one last breath. “Come and get me!” The words fell from your lips in a hasty yell.

But then, something happened. Just beyond the heavy double doors made of a dark wood, you heard screaming; slashing. You gulped once, then twice…and then the doors opened.

In your heart, you had a sinking idea who stood behind those doors. But at the same time, you didn’t think they cared enough. Or maybe that he cared enough.

Even beyond the spots in your eyes and the darkness of the room around you, you noticed Sam’s jaw tighten as his eyes moved over your frame. From the distant look across your face–the one that told him you weren’t happy to see him–to the blood still dripping from the crook of your neck just above your collarbone. Without thinking, he moved forward towards you. He didn’t miss the way your body flinched as he moved, but he forced it out of his head as his machete clanked to the ground and echoed around your bodies.

“Don’t,” you muttered through gritted teeth. He stopped, only for a moment. “Don’t touch me.” You managed once more as his large hands moved fallen strands of hair away from your neck so he could get a better look at your open wound.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed with furrowed brows and a look in his eyes that took you by surprise. The way his eyes moved between yours, it made you pause–was that…was that the light that you were so desperately searching for the last time you encountered Sam? “I have to look at it, okay?” His voice was just above a whisper.

Anger rumbled in the pit of your stomach, but seemed to quiet down at the specks of glint you saw all of a sudden. You knew he was right; you had been seeing spots ever since that vamp snacked on your jugular, or so it felt. You managed a small nod.

With maybe a second passing, he moved. One hand cradled the side of your face while the other tilted your head a bit, so it relaxed in the feeling of his hand. His eyes moved over the injury as he quickly reached away with both hands to take off his flannel covering a sweat-stained gray undershirt. You wanted to vomit when his hands left your skin, and that made you angry again. “How dare you just waltz in here like a fucking knight in shining armor,” you hadn’t realized your mouth had picked up on your brain’s thoughts and instead of having an internal dialogue, you had spoken them out loud. Oh well…at least he knew how you felt now, if he hadn’t already.

Sam’s eyes moved to yours swiftly. He nodded once, then twice before he ducked his head to look at the ground. “Sorry will never be enough,” he murmured. His head moved back so he could look at you once more. He didn’t say anything before he took his flannel and pressed it to your neck with a pressure that made you hiss in pain and squeeze your eyes closed. “I know,” he continued. “We gotta keep pressure on it…” his voice trailed off as Dean spoke up.

“I know there’s a lotta shit happening right now,” he said as he looked around the abandoned space. “But we gotta keep moving. I don’t think that’s the last of the nest and we’re fightin’ an uphill battle. We’ll come back later, but let’s get you cleaned up.” He nodded to you–Dean’s way of saying ‘hello’.

Going with the Winchesters was the last thing you would ever decide to do at this moment–well, maybe not the last thing. It was settled on the list just above getting eaten by a vamp. But your options were limited, and you felt yourself feeling more and more lightheaded the longer your neck bled.

“Fine,” you managed as you followed them back to the Impala. Sam kept his distance, and you were thankful for that. As you climbed into the backseat, Sam hesitated by the door but got the message when you pulled it closed behind you. He settled for the front seat while Dean drove.

As you headed to whatever motel they were staying in, you repeated in your head: Get in, get cleaned up, have Dean take you back to your motel. Get in, get out. Get in…get out…

Your eyes watched as the yellow light from street poles moved past the car on the drive. Tears and emotion prickled the back of your eyes and throat, but you pushed them away. You’d be damned if you let Sam Winchester get under your skin again. Fool you once, shame on him. But fool you twice…

It was only a few minutes before the Impala shifted into park in the lot of a seedy highway motel. You internally groaned when you realized you recognized this seedy highway motel–it was the same one you had been crashing at for the last two nights. They must’ve gotten in that day, because there was no way you wouldn’t have noticed the Impala.

The ride had been silent, which made you realize that Dean must also know about what happened between you and Sam all those nights ago. That made your stomach flip flop even more than before–embarrassment crept up into your chest and face. Trying to brush it off was useless, but you still attempted. You pulled the car door handle open before Sam could try to help and brushed by him.

“Assuming you guys have a med kit here?” The bleeding had slowed to a stop, which you were thankful for because it meant the damage was mostly cosmetic and everything important was still intact.

“Does a bear shit in the woods?” Dean chuckled as he closed the driver side door. “We got you covered. It’s, uh…it’s good to see you.” He nodded as his eyes lingered over you–you couldn’t be sure what he was looking for, or maybe even seeing. But you felt like his eyes were full of pity and sympathy, which made you nauseous again.

“Yeah,” you nodded, not able to return the sentiment. “If we could get this over with, that’d be great. I have things to do.”

Dean led the way to the door of their motel room. Sam kept his distance, but you could feel his gaze again. His hands shoved into the front pockets of his dark jeans.

“Where ya staying?” Dean asked nonchalantly as he put the key card in the slot to unlock their door.

You took a moment before answering. “Here. Just down the hall,” your words were soft. You didn’t really want to share that information with them.

Dean nodded but didn’t seem surprised. There weren’t too many motels just off the highway, which was what the Winchesters always booked. In that realization, you wanted to kick yourself. Even though you hadn’t meant to, you were still following their rules of hunting. “Stay just off the highway so you can peel out quick if shit hits the fan,” Dean’s words echoed through your brain.

Dean nodded as the door opened and you followed him inside, Sam just behind you. “I gotta go pick something up,” you knew Dean was just trying to find an excuse to leave. Before you could argue, he tossed the med kit from the small bathroom onto one of the beds and hurried back to the door. “I’ll be back a bit later. Sammy will get you cleaned up.”

Before a word could flow from your brain to your lips, Dean was out the door. You closed your eyes for a minute and bit down hard on the inside of your lip—so hard, you thought you tasted blood.

He had the audacity to utter your name, and it made you want to scream.

“Don’t you dare say my name like that,” you gritted through the words. “You don’t get to talk to me anymore. Seriously.” You glanced around the room in his silence, and headed back for the door. “I have my own med kit, I can do it myself.” You muttered.

“Please, don’t go,” while everything inside of you told you to keep walking, the conviction and pain in his voice made your feet stop moving. “Please. I’m begging you. I just need a few minutes to explain. Let me take care of you and explain everything from the last year and a half, and then if you still want to leave, I won’t stand in your way.”

Against your better judgment, your feet moved to turn back to face him. You could see the same emotions on his face—the anguish, in typical Sam Winchester fashion. “Let me take care of you,” his words echoed internally and stung almost as much as the cool air that was about to hit the gash on your neck.

“You have five minutes,” you said carefully as you walked to the edge of the bed and pulled Sam’s flannel away from your skin. You winced as the fabric pulled at the already drying wound.

If you had blinked, you would have missed the way Sam’s jaw tightened and how his eyes traced a path from the wound on your neck to your eyes and back.

His hands opened the med kit; as he began to work, he spoke softly. “Cas pulled me out of Lucifer’s cage. But when he got me out, my soul got left behind,” your eyes darted to his face as he poured antiseptic onto a cotton pad.

“Your soul?” You asked, his eyes glued to the cotton pad as he focused on working.

He nodded once as he brought the pad to your neck. He hesitated for a second. “Yeah, my soul. This is gonna sting, okay?” He asked carefully. He waited for you to nod before he placed the pad, cool from the antiseptic, onto your skin. Your face contorted for a minute and you swallowed the hiss that threatened to escape. “I knew something was wrong but I didn’t know what. I didn’t know how I got out of the cage or what was wrong with me. I just felt…numb.”

So far, nothing Sam had said swayed your judgment or how you felt. Sam understood that by your silence. Nevertheless, he continued working on your wound.

“Dean got back in, and then Cas…and that’s when we realized my soul was just gone,” he moved on to unwrap some packing gauze and broke his train of thought. “It doesn’t look like it needs stitches, just a surface wound. You okay if I pack it and tape it up?”

You managed a nod and looked down a bit so your hair fell into your face. Sam’s fingers grazed your chin so gently, you weren’t sure you felt it until you saw his hand.

“Sorry, gotta get the right angle,” he cleared his throat. He brushed your hair over your shoulder and went back to work. “I remember everything now,” he started again and pulled his gaze away from your eyes. He busied his fingers with the packing gauze, but you could tell it was so he wouldn’t have to look directly into your eyes. “I didn’t right away…it’s kind of a long story. But I would get glimpses of memories and things that happened when I didn’t have my soul. And I saw you…and that night…” his voice trailed off.

“Alright, that’s enough,” you cut him off before your words were swallowed by emotions—emotions you had tried so hard not to feel for all of these months. You were on your feet pushing past his broad frame before he could say another word. “I’m not doing this, Sam. I’m not going to sit here and have some bullshit heart to heart about what happened. I can’t.”

Sam stood immediately but he didn’t approach—he knew better than that. “I know I don’t deserve it. God, I know…”

“Do you?” You spat back. This time, the emotion broke through. Everything you had fought so hard to swallow came tumbling back. “Do you know how hard it was when I watched you jump into the cage? Or how I mourned you and the loss of the person I considered my best friend? Or how about how the entire time I hunted with you I wanted so desperately for you to want me the way I wanted you?” You wondered if you would regret the words, but you couldn’t stop them. Nor could you stop the angry tears that began to pool in your eyes and spill just over the edge. The look on his face remained the same—pained. “How amazing it was when I saw you standing in the bar that night? And then how hurt I was when I realized you had been back for ten months and didn’t call? But then you wanted me…and you had me,” your voice fell and you could no longer look into his eyes. “And then you left.” Your voice was so low, you weren’t sure if he had heard you.

Sam couldn’t stand in one spot anymore. He moved to you so quickly, it took you by surprise. You could tell by the way he moved his arms he wanted to touch you, but he refrained.

“I know that saying sorry means absolutely nothing right now,” he said slowly, carefully. “But I am so incredibly sorry. I don’t think I’ve ever been more sorry about anything before in my life.” His words dripped with an emotion you had never heard from him before. You thought he might cry—and you had never seen Sam Winchester cry. “If I could change it—”

“I know,” you cut him off with your eyes closed, only allowing more tears to slip through the cracks. “You would take it back. I know. It was a mistake, Sam.”

There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. “The only mistake I made that night was not showing you how much I care about you.”

Through blurry blinks you looked back at him, and it was then that you saw what you couldn’t see the last time you and Sam Winchester were in a motel room together–the light. There was still pain, but the emptiness was gone, filled again with what had been missing all along. He moved so slowly, cautiously as he brought his palm up to cup your cheek. The pad of his thumb swept under your eye to wipe at the tears that had settled there.

“You were the last person in the world I would ever want to hurt…I am so sorry I hurt you,” his eyes connected with yours to show you he meant it. “My feelings were real, I was just so screwed up…I had zero emotional connection to what was happening.”

You pulled back from his touch as your eyes found the multicolored carpet below your feet. While you had already spilled so many feelings to him that you hadn’t planned for, you couldn’t hold his gaze while you told him this one. “I wanted to die, Sam. I gave up. Being with you that night…it left a wound I couldn’t figure out how to heal. The pain was so bad, I didn’t care about anyone or anything anymore…”

This time, you knew you could see Sam’s eyes glass over. He was hurting because he knew his actions had left a scar deep within you and caused you so much anguish.

It was then that you realized—Sam hadn’t asked to be brought back without his soul. Hell, he hadn’t been asked to be brought back at all. When you had run into Sam that night, he didn’t even realize his soul was missing.

“But it’s not your fault,” suddenly, your heart fluttered. Since that night all those months ago, you hadn’t felt that flutter for anything or anyone. The feeling of emptiness was replaced with a flutter of hope. “You didn’t know, Sam.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he muttered with a shake of his head, his eyes still on yours. “It doesn’t make it okay.”

“It doesn’t,” you breathed, your tears slowing. “But it isn’t fair for me to hold something against you that you didn’t even know was happening…” as he heard your words, you saw a gleam of hope in his eyes that matched the feeling in your chest.

His brows furrowed as he closed his eyes and dropped his head a bit. “Thank you,” the words fell in a breath.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to hear you out,” your fingers instinctively reached to touch the palms of his hands. His head jerked back up so his eyes were on you, his brows still knitted together in a frown. He grasped your hands tightly in his, and a feeling of warmth washed over you.

“Do not apologize to me,” he said firmly. “You don’t owe me anything, you hear me? I hurt you. I would do anything in the world to fix it.”

Your throat suddenly felt dry, so you swallowed so you could try to get the words out. “I don’t really know what that looks like, but I’m willing to work on it together…”

For the first time that night, you saw a smile tug at the corners of Sam’s lips. He gave your hands another squeeze. “Thank you…” his words trailed away before he cleared his throat. “Now, can I please finish packing that gash on your neck? We really need to get it covered.”

You managed a nod and allowed him to hold your hand as he led you back to the bed.

“I’ll do everything I can to help you heal,” he breathed as his eyes focused on yours again once you were on the edge of the bed. You wanted to tell him it was a superficial wound and would heal just fine, but you knew he was talking about more than just the spot the vampire had bitten. And you were willing to let him try.

---------

Tag List: @lacilou

#supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural ff #spn fanfic #spn ff #sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester x female reader #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x you #sam winchester fanfic #sam winchester fan fic #sam winchester ff #sam winchester fan fiction #sam winchester fluff

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planet-crait · 11 months ago

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After repeatedly seeing posts about A New Wish and some angsty content from the original show making me super nostalgic, I decided to cave and watch the Fairly Odd-parents A New Wish.

I think for sanity’s sake I’ll be breaking things down episode by episode to give my thoughts as sort of a live reaction? We’ll see how that goes but for now, I’ll start off with a broad, so far I’m liking what I’m seeing. The show is fun and silly and does really capture the spirit of the original which these days certain companies *cough*Disney*cough* can’t seem to manage.

I do have some questions and gripes which I’ll mention later but they haven’t made me enjoy the show less because I know things may get explained later on and it is the first season so I get maybe not wanting to show their hands on this stuff yet. If you want to see my spoiler thoughts they’re below the cut to avoid spoiling people who haven’t seen it yet.

I feel like I should start off by admitting I have seen spoilers so I know about certain things throughout the season but not how we get their and the spoilers I saw actually have me excited to see what happens. But I wanted to be fair and be upfront about that as we get into this.

Right off the bat two things simultaneously occurred, I was immediately in love with the intro song, but for some reason was very confused about it playing at the begining of the episode. I don’t know why I was certain the original the song didn’t play before the episode but for the official first episode it does so I think I may have either A. Been confusing it with the pilot which never plays the theme song or B. Mixing it up with RW/BY who for the first episode of a new season plays the intro at the end of the episode (or some combination of both).

This is not a negative just a funny thing that threw me off. I was hoping for more of this new style and it feels way too short and I was kind of sad it ended. I love the new singers for the intro and like the style it uses I don’t know how to better word it but I really enjoyed it and was sad because it felt shorter then the original and uh spoiler alert it is by a solid ten seconds with the original clocking at about 45 seconds and the new clocking in at only 30 seconds. I don’t know why they cut out 15 seconds because overall the new version follows the flow of the original. I may go through the songs more closely side by side to see if their is a verse missing or it’s just sung quicker for no other reason then I’m curious and I want a longer version of this new one (or at least the singer for the new one to do more songs because I love their voice). I enjoy Hazels section being her own thing and making different rapid fire wishes than Timmy to potentially be giving us a glimpse of her personality. I know there is a dry themed episode and she wishes for fries so maybe it’s a stretch I’ll find out but regardless I enjoyed it. (If someone knows who sings the intro please let me know lolz).

I was worried I wouldn’t like the animation style for the show, with reboots or sequels the animation is either hit or miss for me but it was fine nothing like mind blowing but it was fine nothing really stuck out to me either way so I call that a win, especially after hearing rumors about the really tight animation budget for this first season.

Hazel herself is a solid character, she feels like a little kid trying to navigate a lot of sudden changes and is struggling to figure out her way through. I empathize with Hazel strongly actually as someone who loved suddenly before the second grade to a new school where I was not liked at all by my peers so I really relate to Hazel here in that respect. Hazel has a lot of personality shining through here in the first episode which I admit she really needs that to stand up against the legacy Timmy holds for the original series.

On a side note, I had heard a lot of people discussing how Timmy seems to be haunting the narrative and I honestly didn’t expect to notice that exact thing right in episode one. Maybe because I was told about it I was really looking out to see it showing, but I quickly noticed little things like the picture of Timmy’s room in Cosmo and Wanda’s house and the brief mention of their previous godkid and retiring after them.

Again this really could just be nostalgia talking here (seeing a lot of Nicktoons Unite content on other socials lately lolz) but it stuck out to me and so far I think it works? I feel like him not showing up for a while but still feeling his presence is a really smart choice. Maybe my opinion will change but for now it works because so far there isn’t a need for Hazel to know about the Godkid before her. I’m intrigued to see if and how he might naturally come up but for now it works for me. I admit I may cry if he shows up ever but again. Nostalgia lolz.

One quick question, I heard this guy was confirmed to not be Timmy on twitter?

If anyone has that tweet confirming that I would love to see it because as everyone notes he looks exactly like the older Timmy from season one of the original so I was confused when I originally saw the screenshot floating around and would love some clarification because I don’t really use the bird app much anymore.

Now onto the gripes I briefly mentioned earlier. The first big question that kind of hung in my mind was, how come Cosmo and Wanda get to just…decide to be Hazels Godparents? I know it would bog down the story they wanted to go with to try and work around this but the original show repeatedly established fairy godparents are assigned to kids who need them, so…why do they get to pick their next godkid especially since they’re retired currently? This is the stuff I know technically isn’t needed because sometimes story just has to story but it’s bugging me. Again it doesn’t hurt the show necessarily at this point of writing this but it’s something that threw me off that I expected to have something for. Maybe it’ll be explained later maybe not it’s not a deal breaker but just bugs me as someone who loves seeing world building stuff in stories.

I also have to wonder how the heck have Cosmo and Wanda not been caught with how blatantly they use magic. Hazel repeatedly notices them using magic before she knows they’re fairies. In the original show we see them function as “humans” with using magic significantly less than they do. Why aren’t they concerned about Hazel seeing them do Magic? This could have been a story decision to firmly establish for anyone new to the series that they’re Magic and such but it was an odd choice to me.

The other main question I have is how they’ve gone 10,00 years without ever hearing someone say “I wish” before Hazel said that in front of them. Do they not run into people annoyed at a bus stop wishing for their late bus to show up? I assume they’re only compelled to grant wishes of kids but have they not been around a kid wishing for something ridiculous around them? Or do they need to feel like the kid needs them? Again this is one of these “this is a kids show so it’s probably being yadda yadda’d past so the story can story but I don’t think it would be a fair review if I didn’t mention these things I noticed.

However, I do really like how the show establishes how whole her parents clearly care about her but her mom specifically falls into being g a therapist for her vs a mom for her which causes her to put pressure on Hazel to not talk to them. I think it works well to show us how and why Hazel needs Cosmo and Wanda. And Wanda questioning Hazel when they catch her running away and getting her to admit what’s going on felt very in character for both of them. As I said earlier I feel like the creators really did maintain the spirit of the original show and that’s really nice to see.

Hazels wish and the result both also work overall well. Making her a fly so she could fly and also match the specific verbiage of her wish was fun. However the reveal about how weird their body parts are was uh…a choice. Not a huge fan but again this is a children’s show so I know some things just aren’t necessarily going to click with me. On an unrelated note, ATLA set me up to spend the entire section of Hazel flying through town for someone to exclaim “My cabbages!” And given both are Nicktoon shows, I feel like it had to be intentional.

Now why Cosmo and Wanda didn’t change Hazel back in the hallway or something is another strange choice but I suppose they couldn’t have had the fun hijinxs if they didn’t and Hazel wouldn’t have been able to talk to Tony if they didn’t but still. Confused on the why they did that. It is a kids show but I feel like even kids shows can still tie the lose ends a little better. At least the hijinks were enjoyable and seeing Wanda failing so spectacularly at small talk was pretty amusing. And yea you could argue they hammed up Hazel and Tony’s talk a little but I can forgive it because they’re trying to make the message clear for kids and that’s just a thing that tends to happen in kids shows. I’ve seen it done far worse in the past so credit where credit is due here.

Upon rewatching I also had to question why Cosmo was so traumatized by living in a fishbowl for 7 years since their castle was huge and they could go their whenever they wanted so it being small being the issue was…a choice? I don’t think it’s meant to imply they have negative feelings towards Timmy specifically but again, just a note that threw me off a little.

Still in the end I do really enjoy Hazels excitement and interest in Cosmo and Wanda’s apartment. Again world building me is wondering are they paying rent? How? Can they poof money into existence to pay rent? Is that allowed? The stupid things most people don’t care about that I do because well brains. But in the end Hazel is a fun character with a lot of personality, Cosmo and Wanda are fun and cute which was a huge draw in for the original and it’s great to see carry over. I wonder if someone on the team is a fan of Undertale given Hazels shirt matches like perfectly with Frisks.

I just hope no one tries to tell me I’m Cosplaying Hazel wrong when I go out as Frisk. Either way I’m excited to go onto episode two.

#fairly oddparents #fop a new wish #fop #a new wish #review #criticism

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pocket-lad · 1 year ago

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CH 1- A Few Important Details

She faced down Human Beans. She faced down dinosaurs. What crazy thing could the world possibly throw at Adelaide next? Try another borrower and an adventure far beyond the walls.

A sequel to Only a Couple Days & Growing Pains. This work is going to be quite a bit different than previous stories, mostly because it's not directly based on a movie. I hope you enjoy!!

Masterpost ● Next

“Oh my God,” Adelaide breathed. She was really staring at a real-life borrower. She hadn’t seen anyone her size in over a decade!

Years seemed to pass in the silence between them, but the new person broke it first. “Come on!” she whispered urgently. “Are you crazy? There’s three whole Beans in that room!”

Adelaide sputtered. Where could she even start?

“What were you doing in there?”

“I, uh…I thought I saw…a mouse,” Adelaide half-lied.

The woman was pretty. She had wildly curly black hair and dark skin. Her big eyes were the color of chocolate, and she stood only slightly taller than Adelaide. “Well, they won’t be asleep forever,” she said. “What’s your name?”

“Adelaide.”

“Adelaide, I’m Ollie.”

“Do you live here?” Duh. Of course she lives here.

“Yeah, and I’ve never seen you around before. Where’d you even come from?” Ollie’s tone of voice wasn’t exactly suspicious. Hesitant, maybe.

“I just got here today.” It wasn’t technically a lie.

“I assume you plan on staying, then?”

“I’m not sure,” Adelaide admitted. It didn’t escape her mind that Ian and Sarah were getting serious. She always assumed it would either end badly or Sarah would move to Texas. She never considered that Ian would want to move here, but now that she was forced to think about it, she wasn’t so sure.

“Well, we have a place for you if you do.”

“Oh, thanks!” God, Adelaide forgot what it was like to be a borrower around other borrowers. They always helped those in need and always welcomed others with open doors, no questions asked. They had to stick together in such a large world.

“We should hurry while they’re still asleep. I’ll show you where the best food is, but really, you can find stuff pretty much anywhere. This Bean is super messy.”

Adelaide laughed, remembering the way she pointed out the cluttered apartment straight to Sarah’s face. “Let’s go.” Ollie said, and she roughly guided Adelaide toward her thread that hung from the kitchen counter.

Adelaide blinked as all of the information sunk in. Ollie was a borrower. She lived in Sarah’s house. She was in the middle of borrowing. She didn’t know that the humans were friendly and she didn’t know that Adelaide regularly interacted with them. Adelaide decided she wanted to keep it that way for the time being, because honestly, she missed this. She missed the camaraderie, she even missed the thrill a little bit. Maybe it was selfish, but she played along anyway.

“You go up first,” Ollie said.

“I’m probably gonna be pretty slow,” Adelaide admitted, holding up her mess of a hand.

“Holy shit, what happened?!”

“I fell on it when Ia- when a Bean…” She closed her mouth. Less is more .

“Oh my God, that must have been terrible. I’m so sorry…” Ollie looked pitifully at Adelaide’s hand. Morbid curiosity nearly made her ask for details, but she respected her privacy, and now was not the time. “You should still go first. I don’t want to leave you stranded on the floor. Better to stick together.”

Guilt crept up on Adelaide. She wasn’t exactly lying, but whatever she was doing, it didn’t feel good. She felt like she was betraying Ollie’s trust. Ollie didn’t know her, and yet she was risking her life for her.

“Okay,” she said. She prepared herself to start climbing, but the sound of something massive shifting around stopped her in her tracks. Somebody was awake. This was about to go downhill very fast.

Ollie heard it too. “Change of plans,” she said, immediately dislodging her hook and coiling it around her arm.

Footsteps rumbled in the distance, but they were rapidly approaching. It may have been a vast distance for the borrowers to traverse, but they both knew it would take a Bean mere seconds to cross from the couch to the kitchen. They had no time. Adelaide would be surprised if they made it out of this one without being noticed.

Ollie took off, but looked back to see Adelaide rooted in place. She assumed the new borrower was in shock, or was simply too scared to move. She couldn’t imagine what happened to make a Bean crush her hand, but it couldn’t have been anything good. Regardless, they had to keep moving. Ollie sprinted back to grab Adelaide’s good hand and dragged her along.

***

Ian’s eyes cracked open at the sound of voices…Voices? Plural?

Shaking the grogginess off, he stretched and slowly inched toward the kitchen. He would have heard somebody come in, right? And the voice sounded too quiet to be human, which meant…

***

They weren’t going to make it. Ollie stopped and pulled out her knife. “Go without me. Just around the corner, there’s a hole that leads into the wall. Wait for me there, and if I don’t make it back…well, I’ll make it back.” She gave Adelaide a cocky smile, but her nervous eyes betrayed her.

Adelaide still didn’t move. She couldn’t leave Ollie to deal with this on her own, especially when it was almost definitely Ian headed their way.

“Go, stupid!” Ollie yelled, shoving Adelaide as hard as she could.

Adelaide, unprepared, fell to the ground.

***

Ian had just looked over the edge of the table in time to see two people, both around three inches tall, standing down on the floor. One was Adelaide. The other had just shoved Adelaide - hard - and brandished a knife.

Ian quickly bent down and snatched this new borrower up. With his other hand, he gently scooped Adelaide off the floor.

***

“Nonononononono,” Adelaide mumbled. This was going so wrong so fast. What sealed the deal was Ian’s inexplicable and frankly idiotic decision to reach for them both.

She braced herself like she usually did, but had no time to warn Ollie. She couldn’t even see what he was doing to Ollie from her vantage point, but she felt her own body slide into his warm palm and could only hope he was being as gentle with her.

Adelaide fought against Ian on principle. Obviously it was useless. She flew through the air and could only focus on keeping her hand from getting hurt worse.

When the movement ended, she found herself on the kitchen table. Looking around, no sign of Ollie. Then she looked up. Her jaw dropped.

Ollie was stuck in Ian’s fist, fighting for her life. Ian had taken her knife and set it down on the table beside Adelaide, and he knew to keep the new borrower angled away so she couldn’t bite him.

Adelaide didn’t think about how, if for some reason, Ian wanted to hurt another borrower, he knew exactly how to do so because of his experience with her. She thought back to all the times she explicitly told him what not to do, told him all the things that made her uncomfortable, not thinking for even a second that Ian would use this information to take advantage of a smaller being. This was her fault.

“Put her down!” Adelaide yelled, running up to Ian’s other hand that rested on the table. She kicked at it repeatedly to knock some sense into him.

“What’s going on?” he asked defensively.

“Ian, she’s scared! Put her down! Now!”

“She pushed you!”

“She was saving me from you!”

Ian realized his mistake. In his attempt to protect his friend, he may have just scarred another borrower for life. Slowly, he set the girl down.

As soon as Ian’s hand opened, Ollie leapt away, scooping up her knife and pointing it up at him. “Adelaide, get behind me.” It sounded like she heard none of their conversation, too occupied with escaping.

Adelaide blinked but did as she was told. Ian regarded them both with utter confusion plastered across his giant face. He wasn’t often confused, and he certainly didn’t like it.

“Let us go,” Ollie demanded. The confidence in her voice was impressive. Only Adelaide could hear the slight falter in it.

“Um…okay,” Ian said, but he didn’t move. Adelaide knew this meant he was going to stay hands off and just observe, let them do whatever they wanted, but since he still sat there, it looked like he was still holding them captive. For all Ollie knew, he would just grab them when they attempted to escape.

“Yeah, let us go!” Adelaide echoed in support. She guessed she was keeping up the charade, then. She just hoped Ian would play along.

He didn’t say anything, but his brow furrowed. Adelaide sent him a look that said to just go with it and that she’d explain later. She knew her face was small and distant to him and therefore hard to read, but she was pretty sure he got the point.

Ollie didn’t take her eyes off Ian, but she whispered to Adelaide. “He doesn’t live here. I think he’s partnered with the Bean who does live here, which means we’ve probably got more incoming. Watch your back.”

Adelaide checked behind her, but as far as she could tell, Sarah and Kelly were still fast asleep.

It also turned out that Ian did not get her point. In fact, he interpreted it all wrong.

“Ahh, I’m uh…I’m going to get you!” he said half-heartedly, wiggling his fingers and smirking at how ridiculous his attempt at being the evil Bean sounded.

Ollie was more than confused. Was this some kind of game? His words indicated mal intent, but he didn’t sound very sincere.

Adelaide closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She looked Ian in the eye and shook her head, hoping that maybe he would get it this time.

Ian corrected himself. “Oh, um…what’s your name?” he asked the new borrower, but his tone was asking Adelaide if that was the right thing to say.

Ollie flinched when he looked at her. “I’m warning you,” she said, ignoring his question and raising her knife a little higher.

“That’s a - that’s a weird name…Warning me? For what?” This new borrower was obviously sacred, but she obviously wasn't in any danger, either. It was hard not to tease her, and it was even harder to keep a straight face.

“I’ll stab you.” Ollie said seriously. Her hand started to shake. Adelaide felt horrible.

“I see why you guys get along,” Ian chuckled. They were both so unnecessarily violent.

“No!” Adelaide blurted.

Ollie whipped her head back to Adelaide, a sudden spark of betrayal piling on top of her confusion, but she didn’t want to keep her attention off the Bean too long.

“What’d you want me to do?” Ian asked Adelaide, too impatient to play this game. He wanted to know what was going on. He wanted to know who this new person was. He hated being in the dark.

Ollie continued to look back and forth between them. She was suddenly very suspicious of Adelaide, so she repeatedly moved her knife from Ian to Adelaide and back. She wasn’t taking any chances.

“Do not point that at her,” Ian warned. He sat up a bit straighter, ready to protect his friend.

Ollie's knife dipped.

“Ian, don’t,” Adelaide said harshly. He was not going to threaten Ollie. She was just defending herself.

“I’m serious,” he said.

“So am I!”

“What’s going on?” Ollie yelled. The quick rise and fall of her chest indicated that a panic attack was fast approaching.

“Okay,” Adelaide held out her hands placatingly and slowly approached the trembling borrower. “Ollie, you’re safe. This is Ian. He’s my friend.”

“Bullshit,” Ollie spat.

“He is. I know you don’t believe me. I wouldn’t believe myself, either, if I hadn’t spent the past couple years with him.”

As Adelaide approached, Ollie backed up. Her eyes darted around, trying to find some sense of reality to latch onto. A borrower and a Bean? Friends? She backed toward the edge of the table, and Ian instinctively held his hand out behind her, just in case she fell.

Ollie sensed the massive presence and turned around. She screamed at the sight of a towering, enormous hand looming above and stumbled backwards towards Adelaide. That hand was going to grab her. It was going to take her away. Or it would crush her. She’d never see her family again.

Adelaide grabbed the woman’s shoulders, which made her jump. Ollie turned around again , feeling backed into a corner. There was nowhere to go.

“What? You’re - you’re his pet or something? You lure people out of the walls so Beans can snatch them up? Is that it?”

“God, no!” Adelaide said, sick even at the idea of such a thing. She realized that she wasn’t going to get anywhere with Ian hovering. “Ian, can you go literally anywhere else right now?”

Ian looked like he wanted to protest, but just shrugged and pushed his chair out from the table.

Ollie jumped and gripped her knife tighter at the sound of the chair scraping against the floor.

Ian sauntered over to the corner of the kitchen and leaned back against the counter with his arms crossed, watching the interaction from afar. Adelaide rolled her eyes. This wasn’t what she wanted, but it was as good as she was going to get.

Ollie watched with wide eyes. Adelaide just told the Bean what to do! And he listened!

Adelaide set her knife down on the table and kicked it away, showing she meant no harm. She hoped that wouldn’t backfire.

“Ollie, I never lied to you. I just…I left out some pretty important details,” she laughed. Ollie did not reciprocate. “I’m not his pet. We’re friends. His name is Ian-” (Ian waved) “-and he would never hurt you-”

“Then let me go,” Ollie interrupted. It seemed as though none of Adelaide’s words made it through to her. Hell, she could barely look at her, too distracted by the looming Bean.

“Okay,” Adelaide sighed. She wasn’t going to stop the borrower from leaving, but she was severely disappointed.

Ollie secured her hook on the table and turned to climb down, eyes never leaving Ian. If Adelaide was telling the truth, then the Bean wouldn’t stop her. Hopefully.

Adelaide dug her hook out as well. “Let me walk you to-”

“No,” Ollie said forcefully. She couldn’t deal with this right now. She needed time to think. And she certainly wasn’t going to let this borrower know where her home was, where her family was. Not when said borrower was allied with a Bean.

Adelaide froze in her tracks as her heart sank. She blew it. The first time she’d seen a borrower in over a decade and she blew it. All she could do was stand there and watch Ollie’s progress. She didn’t move even after the woman disappeared into the walls, using the entrance Adelaide happened upon earlier.

Small quakes on the surface of the table and the sound of shifting fabric signaled Ian’s approach. Only when he laid a finger on her shoulder did she move, shrugging him off and turning toward him. “Back off!” she shouted.

Ian was taken aback by the outburst. “Della-”

Adelaide ignored him, marching toward the edge of the table. She collected her knife, readied her hook, and started to climb down.

“Hey, maybe you shouldn’t-” Ian started, but was cut off by a very angry look from Adelaide, daring him to finish that sentence. Maybe you shouldn’t climb with your broken hand. He sighed. Both of them knew this was a bad idea, she knew this was a bad idea, which was what irritated him so much. She was going to hurt herself because she didn’t want him telling her what to do.

Adelaide tried to take deep breaths as she lowered herself down. She squeezed the thread with her legs and used her right hand to stabilize herself. Then, very slowly, eased the pressure of her legs, letting herself slide in a semi-controlled manner to the ground.

Silently, she coiled up her hook and shoved it back in her bag. She stomped over to the hole she watched Ollie disappear into. Adelaide’s intentions weren’t super clear even to herself, but she justified it as wanting cover. Or wanting a sense of familiarity. Something like that. Definitely not following Ollie.

“Della,” Ian called after her again. “Della!”

“What?!” Adelaide exploded, whipping around. She wavered a little when she had to look up at a skyscraper of a person, but she held her ground. Why were Bean’s heads always just a little higher than she thought? It was as if they grew a foot on purpose each time, just to intimidate her.

“Calm down, let’s talk about this… Uh, forgive me for being curious but there’s a whole - a whole new person on the floor sticking a, um, a knife at you. Perhaps maybe-”

Adelaide cut him off. “I want to be alone.”

Ian paused. “What?”

Oh. That wasn’t a clarifying ‘what’. He legitimately did not hear her, which felt like a real kick in the head. As if she didn’t already feel small, standing on the ground no taller than his ankles. “I said I want to be alone.”

Ian bit his tongue. “Okay.”

Adelaide took off toward the walls, running as fast as she could. Ian didn’t move the whole time, but she could feel his eyes tracking her. As soon as she made it inside, she collapsed into a seated position, catching her breath. God, Ian could be so thick sometimes!

Adelaide sat there for an indeterminate amount of time. She was right - she really did need the comfort of the walls. It had only been a couple days, but it felt like years had passed since she was in the walls back home. While these ones were not the same, they would suffice. As long as she had cover over her head and darkness to conceal herself, she would be fine. And there was the added bonus of cleanliness, thanks to the borrower(s?) who already lived there.

Adelaide said she wanted to wander the walls. Well, there was no time like the present. She hoisted herself up, dusted herself off, and began her journey into the unknown.

Masterpost ● Next

#jurassic park #ian malcolm #g/t #giant/tiny #jurassic park g/t #gt #size difference

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cinerins · 1 month ago

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Watched my friend play Doom: The Dark Ages, which in turn made me want to replay all of 2016 (always a treat) but as soon as I touched Eternal, I immediately remembered why I never think about the modern Doom canon beyond 2016...

Maybe it's just personal taste, but even with all the wild new worldbuilding and general air of "What the hell happened?" (intrigued) Doom 2016 still felt like it had a consistent, relatively grounded direction and prominently anti-capitalist theme connecting it to the original era without getting too crazy in the power fantasy.

This might just largely be due to the way they cannibalized Doom 3's convoluted story into an action-packed abridged version, but still...

I don't hate the concept (and they did give it a vaguely "poetic" although shallow end in the TAG DLCs) but I can't say I was ever a fan of the whole "divine origin" direction Eternal took for the characters. To me, 2016 presented this idea of becoming something greater in spite of the circumstances, instead of being born special.

Samuel Hayden in his initial appearance was obsessed with being better, being more—his Codex entry quotes him explaining his new giant body with "You never know when we may need a hero." which actually perfectly explains his apparent obsession with the mythical "Slayer" and his betrayal at the end of the game. To me, it gave the impression that he was a classic rich man with a literal god complex, who wanted to make himself into the hero the Slayer was forced to become. Back before Eternal, it actually left me excited for a sequel where we essentially tear this False Savior Hayden would presumably present himself as from his self-made throne.

VEGA started off as inhuman and extraordinary as an AI, but was ultimately a tool made to serve, no matter his apparent potential. So when they added that brief little choice of Doomguy backing him up on a chip before his destruction, I was looking forward to what they might do with him in the future... and the conclusion that this AI was actually God who betrayed True God and became even more of a perfect and detached entity than before was, uh, not exactly what I had hoped for. One would think with the overall themes presented in 2016, the goal would have been for something so detached yet shackled, to become grounded and free. But Oh Well.

And then there's the Doom Slayer. Last time you checked, this was just some unfortunate space marine who would defy all odds and become the physical embodiment of the indomitable human spirit. He would go on to fight demons in hell forever, so others wouldn't have to and because he had nothing left to lose. Suddenly waking up chained to a rock with bizarre new implications that somewhere along the way he became a sort of legendary warrior beast thanks to interdimensional space templars sure was wild, but it worked because he couldn't care less. The UAC was up to some demon summoning bullshit again and there was some self-important CEO harping on about how the death and suffering of millions was "necessary" and so Doomguy was pissed.

The bits and pieces of this "lost past" as a legend among the Night Sentinels wasn't as important at the time, but it did leave me curious and open-minded to what exactly it would entail and how exactly that random marine ended up as the Great Slayer, sealed in a sarcophagus. However, a point of contrast I had hoped to see emphasized between him and Hayden would've been that he didn't care about any of that and even if he was hailed as some kind of demigod, he was still just an absurdly determined and justifiably angry human guy. He was fighting demons and walked through hell not because he wanted to be a hero or for some huge legacy, but because someone had to.

While Eternal (and eventually The Dark Ages) would go on to expand on some of that mysterious "legacy," it really wasn't the direction I had hoped for and just left me with more questions and somewhat disappointing answers...

That said, it's doing things to my brain and... No... Don't go there... I shan't write a Doom 2016+ Canon Divergence AU Fic...! Not now!! ...aaaaAAAAAARRFGHHG!!!!!!!!! (opens document)

#doom #doom 2016 #doomguy #doom slayer #samuel hayden #doom vega #yes i know lamenting about the ridiculous over the top plot & lore of the ridiculous over the top game franchise is pretty pointless #but i can't help caring about themes and missed potential #truth be told i just think the characters deserved better. sigh.#i prefer the idea of hayden being an annoying corrupt rich guy who wants to become something otherworldly and superior #instead of being some kind of annoying reincarnated archangel (?) or however that works. does anyone even know.#ctrl+s

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jumpscaregoose · 1 year ago

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hello wonderful mutual, may i inquire what shaman king is?

you've triggered an unskippable cutscene be prepared. was it me calling hana kentacoded that did it for you

shaman king is uh... certainly something

editor's note I go on about the history of the shaman king media franchise for like. way too long and I'm not deleting it so. plot summary starts after the flowers anime image

it started out as a shonen adventure manga created by a mangaka named hiroyuki takei which ran from 1998 to 2004, where it somehow Ate Shit And Died, leaving the manga ending unfinished somehow (idk I wasn't there)

it got its first anime adaptation in 2001

this anime had 64 episodes and covered a complete story. hey goose but if it aired in 2001 and the manga ate shit in 2004 how did they- they didn't. they made shit up. remember kanata dying on the cross? take that extend it to cover half the story and make it FUCKING AWESOME

shaman king 2001 has this impeccable Vibe to it that I really love (the only other thing I can think of with similar impeccable Vibes is sk8). a lot of fans prefer this anime to the manga and I can't blame them it sure has its perks. it also has its downsides. which is mostly terrible dated character designs and diverging from the manga if you're not into that.

I love this show though this is what I rewatch when I want any old shaman king in my spare time

but what's this? a whisper on the wind? that's right baby

SHAMAN KING KANZENBAN MANGA

that's right- between 2008 and 2009 the entire manga was reprinted to get its "true ending", including redraws of some panels

later in 2012 BAM SHAMAN KING FLOWERS

yes there's a full mainline sequel. flowers itself ended in 2014 when the magazine it was in Ate Shit and Died. the story was continued in another manga, The Super Star, before last year the magazine publishing TSS, say it with me now,

Ate Shit and Died (yeah Takei has real bad luck with that)

and then, just a few years ago...

BAM SHAMAN KING 2021 REBOOT ANIME

finally, an anime adaptation of the kanzenban manga, true ending including... this is where I show up. finally! I needed something to watch on a long car ride in august 2021 and happened to download the first eight episodes on netflix, a decision which would have no repercussions on my life philosophies or me as a person (lies)

there are pretty mixed feelings about this anime overall (the pacing goes fucking BRRRRRRR that's for sure) but I can credit that thing with getting me into shaman king and restructuring my brain so it has a special place in my heart

(it's also what I first get people to watch when they agree to shaman king with me. you should really read kanzenban instead because it's better)

lastly there's the flowers anime airing right now

(yay excitingggggg)

and like. soooooo many more sequel prequel and spinoff manga. and also all of takei's works (I'm planning to read ultimo soon because someone said that's where the spirit based on the vermilion bird came from and that has a common ancestor with allen sugasano so I'm going) oh shit and funkuro/funbari chronicles the mobile game that is either closed or on its way out. and so much more

I'm not going to explain every one of them because I realized you probably wanted. a plot summary. so

copy pasted from my mankin slideshow:

"laid-back Asakura Yoh is a shaman, someone with a connection to the afterlife. He participates in the Shaman Fight, a tournament to determine the next god. Hao, a mysterious and overwhelmingly strong shaman, wants to use the powers gained from becoming a god to wipe out humanity. Shenanigans ensue across multiple continents and the boundaries of life and death."

like I said before it's a shonen adventure manga so it follows a lot of tropes, but I think it does them pretty well and in its own way. if you read through the entire mainline manga (kanzenban, flowers, and tss) it's clear takei has a lot to say through his work and he's pretty explicit about his view of the world (shoutout to evil triangle who invented capitalism)

takei's writing and research can be kinda iffy at times and I would never say his work is for everyone but I love it to bits and it has really helped me out over the years

my personal favourite pieces of shaman king media (besides kanzenban) are:

Red Crimson (spinoff of the main sequels following an adult legacy cast, brilliant story about love and grief except for the Horrors)

& a Garden (prequel spinoff about the hanagumi witches, side characters from the first manga)

2001 anime (explained this one already)

if this has interested you go read the kanzenban manga and then come back for sequel recommendations

need more information? I got you

my beginner's shaman king slideshow (if you're reading this within an hour of posting you might see me updating it dw about that)

the patch cafe fansite which has up to date news about the entire series

there's also the funbari hill discord's tumblr account, which reblogs a lot of great shaman king stuff. everyone there is lovely and it's a great community (it's actually run by a mutual of mine hi frost 👋)

I ALMOST FORGOT THE SEQUELS FANSITE WHOOPS (run by an incredible artist and has some fun information about the sequels)

please tell me if you want clarification or more specifics I'm bad at explaining this concisely

#shaman king #koi don't ask me how a cult classic shonen manga fan like myself wound up in the twink rapper project fandom #I don't know either #hope you enjoyed my massive infodump

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t4tbuckleydiaz · 7 months ago

Text

2024 fic roundup!

I got tagged to do this by @cal-daisies-and-briars and @inell!

This year I wrote 16 fics, with a total word count of 67,200! I didn't write anything until May because I was sort of between fandoms at the beginning of the year until I started watching 911, so we'll start with May! *ed fics are my personal favorites!

If you haven't read my stuff, hopefully you'll see something that interests you!

May

no one's ever had me (not like you)

Buck/Eddie; Teen; Teacher!Buck with Daniel Lives!

This was my first work in this fandom, and it was fun, and I still like it but I think that I definitely got a better hold on the characters as I went on. Re-reading a bit ago I could definitely tell I was still trying to figure out exactly how to find their voices.

Summary: “Uhm, excuse me? Excuse - “ Evan turns to find a man - a very very attractive man - in a faded army t-shirt and sunglasses shielding his eyes standing in front of him. Evan is so distracted by the man’s arms that he nearly doesn’t see that he actually does have a kid with him. “Hi, can you help me?”

“Uh - “ Evan feels stupid. Maybe his parents were right about him and he’s just really dumb. He doesn’t even remember what he’s doing here. “Uh, yes. That’s my…job? Yes, that’s what I’m here for.”

-or-

an au where Daniel didn't die, and eventually Buck became a teacher. Chris' teacher, to be exact.

June

as the decade would play us for fools *

Buck/Eddie; Teen; Army Buddies AU

This is my most popular fic of the year and in the fandom. It's my second most kudo-ed fic of all time. I really love it, and it's hard to believe it was only my second 911/buddie fic. I'm so proud of it, and I'm really really glad that other people in fandom seem to love it!

Summary: “Don’t look, Buck, but I think you might have some competition.” Chim sounds way too amused for his own good.

Buck’s eyes settled onto the naked, beautiful, toned torso of a man. Buck is really good at schooling his face until his eyes slide up to the new recruit’s face and suddenly the jealousy and tension fades away.

“Diaz!?” Buck’s already walking towards the locker room when Eddie looks up. The shocked surprise on his face is evident. And, well.

;or

Buck and Eddie met in basic training. Buck hasn't seen Eddie since the day he left the army, but he's never forgotten him.

think i really want this (i'm not even kidding)

Buck/Eddie; Teen; Buck adopts a baby AU

This was the fic I wrote for my partner, @itsabeenado's birthday. It was a lot of fun to just play with Buck as a Dad. I got the idea and had to write it. I also used elements from Ted Lasso's anonymous dating app plot because that was just fun. Also Shannon is alive because I can do that if I want.

Summary: He’d deleted all of his dating apps when he adopted Camille but this feels different. Maybe if nothing else he can find some other single parents to commiserate about how hard it is. Buck knows he chose this life, but it would be nice to have someone who didn’t remind him of that every time he was sad he couldn’t go out with the team because there wasn’t another person at home to pick up parenting duties for a couple of hours. It might be nice to have friends who get how hard being a single parent is.

;or

Buck adopts a baby girl, meets Eddie Diaz, and makes a friend. Somewhere along the way he falls in love.

July

pauses, then says you're my best friend (you knew what it was) *

Buck/Eddie; Teen; Twitter fic; SWIFTIE FIREFIGHTERS ORIGIN STORY

I'm not gonna lie this is probably an OOC mess but it was fun and silly and I'm a swiftie so I wanted to make my boys swifties and challenge myself to tell a story in this way. I love sm aus and boy I found it *so* hard to tell a story without narrative. I have so much respect for people who specialize in epistolary story telling. Also I fucking love the OCs I created for this fic. They were so much fun and I really want to write a sequel some day so I can play with them again.

Summary: bbuckley: well chim got called into work because SOMEONE – @ragingravi – got food poisoning last night so now maddie can’t come to taylor

bbuckley: it’s okay i just pouted at @ediaz118 until he agreed to come

ediaz118: god help me i have lost control of my ability to say no to @bbuckley

or;

buck drags eddie to a taylor swift concert. wackiness ensues.

the sign on your heart says it's still reserved for me

Buck/Eddie; Gen Audiences; Prompt Fill

What it says on the tin. Cute little prompt fill about coming out to Chris.

Summary: “Do you think he was really okay with it?” Buck wipes his hands over his jeans. “Like, I know he likes me. We hang out all the time! It’s just - “

“Are you really asking if Chris is okay with us dating? I can’t believe you ever thought there was a chance he might not be, Buck.”

and the way you keep the world at bay for me *

Buck/Eddie; Gen Audiences; Prompt Fill

BIRTHMARK KISSING.

Summary: “It’s, uh. A birthmark. No one hit me.” Most people would think he says it in good humor, and mostly he does, but Eddie knows Buck well enough to detect the hint of annoyance there - the slight whisper of insecurity.

“You know, my dad is one of the best dermatologists in LA. He works on the Kardashians.” She giggles. “I bet he could fix that for you. I’ll tell him you saved my life.”

gimme something that'll haunt me when you're not around

BuddieTommy; General Audiences; Prompt Fill

Cute little fic about Tommy and Buck taking Eddie on a date.

Summary: “You know, it’s okay if you need Eddie, too. I won’t be jealous. It’s not like I haven’t always known - “

“Known what!?”

“That you and Eddie are important to each other.” Tommy sounds like he’s being careful with his words, and it makes Buck feel a buzzing under his skin, like Tommy’s seeing something he doesn’t want seen, not even by himself.

“He’s my best friend.”

or-

tommy takes buck and eddie on a date. it just takes buck a minute.

August

i choose you and me, religiously

Buck/Eddie (Buck/Tommy Break-Up); Mature; Cheating-Ish Fic.

IDK, man. Y'all know I love Tommy and Buck/Tommy. But I got real obsessed with this song and I wanted to kind of write a fic based onto it. No Tommy Bashing. Also I wrote this on a fucking airplane from San Diego to Dallas. That's all.

Summary: “Are you going to stand in the doorway or follow me to the kitchen?”

“Oh right, yeah. Kitchen.” Buck reminds himself he has a boyfriend. A boyfriend that really cares about him and is also very attractive. With a lot of muscles and can lift him off the ground in one move. Eddie is his best friend.

Buck is really, really, a lot more drunk than he initially thought.

He stands at the counter while Eddie gets him a glass of water and sits it in front of him.

“Why did you come here?” Eddie smiles, big bright brown eyes and soft smile.

“I don’t know. Just thought I hadn’t been over in a while. I wanted to see you.”

;or

Buck has a boyfriend but he can't stop thinking about his best friend.

and you'll say lets run away now

Buck/Eddie (Buck/Taylor Break-Up); Teen; Eddie Does Not Hold His Peace

Again, I just wanted to write a fic based on Speak Now because it's a fun little song. I didn't want to break up Buck and Tommy again, though, so I used Buck and Taylor.

Summary: His job today is to stand up with Buck and be happy for him. To hand him the ring when Bobby asks him to - because of course Bobby is performing the ceremony. Eddie knows he’s not the only one who thinks this is a bad idea. He couldn’t be, right?

Buck and Taylor shouldn’t be getting married.

or -

Eddie is around when they say speak now (or something like it)

if our love starts to grow out of control

BuddieTommy; Mature; Buck and Eddie get married in Vegas. Tommy thinks it's funny.

This was actually the first idea I ever got in this fandom, but I could never quite get what I wanted out of it. I decided to post it as a wip and this is why I don't ever write wips. IDK if anything will ever come of it, but it works decent as a little one-shot too, I guess. I hope I do manage to come back to it some day though.

Summary: “Come on. I’m on shift practically all weekend. Why don’t you and Eddie take a boys trip to Vegas? You could probably both use the distraction.”

“You wouldn’t want to fly us there, would you?”

“Can’t, sorry.” Tommy laughs to himself. “Honestly, I probably would if I didn’t have to be on call in the morning. Go on, have a road trip, eat some fast food, and do something crazy with your best friend.”

or;

Tommy suggests Buck and Eddie get away for the weekend and do something crazy. And, well, they end up married.

so honey hold my hand like you're making me wait for it

BuddieTommy; Teen; Popstar Buck, Firefighter Eddie, and Bodyguard Tommy

This is another one that I have a wide amount of backstory in my head for and eventually wanted to do more with. It works as a little one shot but. Sigh.

Summary: “Did you make it into the venue alright?”

Buck looks up at Eddie, much to his make up artists’ annoyance. He’s got to be on stage in twenty minutes, and he hasn’t seen his boyfriend in months. The long distance of telephones and facetime, or if it’s a really busy day for one of them, text have been the only thing holding them together since Buck had left for his long tour.

He never regretted his career choice until he met Eddie Diaz.

or,

Buck is a popstar. Eddie is his boyfriend. Tommy saves their lives. A lot.

September

now i found myself this kinda love (i can't believe it)

Buck/Tommy; Teen; Photographer Buck AU

I really just wanted to write a Buck/Tommy fic because I hadn't yet, and this was a fun little AU idea I got and I couldn't help myself.

Summary: “Evan Buckley. I’m the photographer for the shoot.” He holds out his hand, but Tommy is distracted by his - quite honestly ridiculous blue eyes and it takes him way too long to shake his head out of it and extend his own hand.

“I’m Eddie, in case anyone was wondering.” The other guy - Mr. 118, Eddie - supplies, voice laced with humor.

“I know your name, asshole.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Eddie.” He clears his throat. “And, uh. Evan. It’s nice to meet you.”

;or

Evan is the photographer for the LAFD firefighter calendar, and Tommy is Mr. June.

October

time flies, messy as the mud on your truck tires *

Buck/Eddie; Teen; Tis the Damn Season AU

THIS FIC!!!! This fic nearly murdered me. At one point I thought it was going to be like 10 chapters and 100k or something and I really had to real myself in and tell the story in a soft and simple way. But I have so many different parts in my head. I know their whole backstory. I know their future. I know so many little details. I think I lived with this fic in my mind in some capacity for months and I breathed it by the time I actually wrote it. I'm proud of how it ultimately came out, though. Once again, Shannon is alive.

Summary: “I’m in El Paso.” Buck fumbles with the hem of his t-shirt, nervously. It’s so annoying that he hasn’t just let himself turn up to Eddie’s parents, asking where he can find Eddie. Helena had always loved him. She wouldn’t question his presence even a little bit. She would probably give him a big hug and invite him in for coffee. He’s just not sure he has that right or place in Eddie’s life anymore.

After all, he was the one who’d taken off.

“You’re - “ There’s a long pause on the other end of the line and then Buck hears the click of a door. “You’re here?”

“Yeah, I had to get out of LA. I was feeling a little suffocated and a lot lost. I’m at my parents’ house.”

;or Buck, Shannon, and Eddie were best friends in high school until it got messy. Buck left the day of their wedding, but now he's injured and he can't go back to work and he just needs to get out of la, so he goes back to his home town.

December

don't love you yet but probably will

BuddieTommy; Teen; Established Buddie

For the BuddieTommy Daily Holiday Exchange! A fun little fic where Buddie are established and bring Tommy in.

Summary: “Whoa, whoa.” Eddie blinks when they walk into the hangar. He hasn’t seen Tommy Kinard in years and now here he is, about to fly them into a fucking hurricane, and apparently he used to be with the 118. There’s a lot of thoughts swirling through Eddie’s mind right now. “Kinard?”

or;

Eddie and Tommy were in the army together, and now here he is, flying them into a hurricane. Also, Eddie's boyfriend is definitely into Tommy. It's fine.

i thought the plane was going down (how'd you turn it right around) *

BuddieTommy; Teen; Shooting Arc with Established Eddie/Tommy

Pinch Hit for the same exchange. I just. Really love the shooting Arc, and I wanted to fuck Buck up emotionally because it's fun for me to do. And I just thought it'd be a little fun twist to have established Eddie/Tommy instead of Buddie or BuckTommy. Let's put Buck on the outside and see how it goes.

Summary: Buck hasn’t met Eddie’s husband.

Tommy Kinard-Diaz is a commercial pilot who spends most of his time away from home.

And then Eddie gets shot in front of him, is bleeding out in an ambulance and all Buck can do is repeat stay with me stay with me while thinking about Chris at home, unaware that his dad could be dying, and Tommy somewhere in the world probably thinking about coming home to his husband in a couple of days, unaware that his husband is on his way to the hospital with a gunshot wound.

or;

Eddie gets shot, and Buck has not only tell his son but also his commercial pilot husband who could be anywhere in the world right now.

it's all me (in my head) i'm the one who burned us down *

BuddieTommy; Teen; Post 8x06 Confessions Fic with Tommy POV

ohhh my love. I loved this fic. I really enjoyed being in Tommy's head for once, and it was my first time really digging into his POV. When I saw Gat liked angst with a happy ending, I saw the perfect opportunity to play with the break up and see how I could get them to work it out but obviously, I love my BuddieTommy and it was for that exchange so I worked in elements of Buddie and EddieTommy throughout. This is maybe one of my favorite things I've written.

Summary: Tommy allows himself five minutes to sit in the perfect parking spot he’d found at Evan’s building. Five minutes to wonder if he’s doing the right thing. Five minutes to let himself grieve the relationship he briefly thought would be his last. Five minutes.

or;

Tommy broke up with Evan and broke his own heart in the process.

That's only the beginning of the story.

NO PRESSURETagging @lonelychicago, @hawkbutt and any other writer friends who haven't done this yet (though I think most of you have!!!)

#2024 fic round up #my fic

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jasper-pagan-witch · 6 months ago

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I Arrive! I'll focus on PCM and the general questions for ya here (one from the PCP section but Teeeeeechnically it can be a PCM question)

Would you ever consider doing PCP/PCM based on fanfiction, or something like fanfiction?

What is the most intensive project you've undertaken involving one of your pop culture sources?

What was the easiest thing to adapt from your source's magical system? The hardest?

If you had the choice, what fictional species would you want as a familiar or other form of spirit companion?

Do you practice divination methods based on a PCM series?

Enjoy! I shall return! Away with me, the inbox gremlin!

Ask Game: Pop Culture Paganism/Magic

Would you ever consider doing PCP/PCM based on fanfiction, or something like fanfiction?

As a prolific fanfiction writer (though very rarely do I actually post it), I must stress that my fanfiction and headcanons both end up influencing my craft. Through writing fanfiction, I get a better view into how I approach the media, and that helps with tapping into the source for magical purposes.

As for doing that stuff based on fanfiction, I would do it based on my own fanfiction. I actually got two MTG spells from @crimsonsongbird based on two fan characters characters (Jaren Rakdoson and Mathias Markov) from my Blood and Songbirds fanfic. Considering how much those two are changing since then, I may do spells based on their current states...or I might wait until shit hits the fan in my major sequel fanfiction >:3c

What is the most intensive project you've undertaken involving one of your pop culture sources?

I've shown you some of the details, but that would be my Elder Scrolls Online-inspired enchanting method, including hand-making all of the runes on wooden flats in the appropriate shapes and building an entire Hireling Sliver Hivemind Linking Sigil System because I could not be fucking assed to manually charge every single fucking rune because there are 56 fucking runestones (32 Potency, 19 Essence, and 5 Aspect) and I'm not about that. I still need to work on the "not Sliver focused" rune charging method before I launch it, because I'm not forcing you all to learn about Slivers.

What was the easiest thing to adapt from your source's magical system? The hardest?

For Magic: The Gathering, that would be the five Colors and turning cards into spells. I've done a lot of that (and still have a bunch left to do...) and it's gotten pretty damn easy for me. Hardest would be trying to figure out how to make World Enchantments work for this. I hate them.

For The Elder Scrolls, I am going to personally fight the design team for changing what school the various effects fall under every single fucking game. As for easier spells, uh...hilariously, it's Dragon Shouts that I find easiest to adapt? I'm gonna try to blend those with one of the Animalself exercises from Werewolf Magick by Denny Sargent and see what happens.

For Pokemon...honestly this source has fallen to the wayside in my practice. But I find it easier to make spells based on the moves and types instead of individual Pokemon.

If you had the choice, what fictional species would you want as a familiar or other form of spirit companion?

I actually have a Charmander Pokefamiliar! I just. Haven't worked with him in a while. I should reach back out to the little guy. And as previously established, I've built a linking sigil system out of Slivers, which is very easy considering they already have the boosting-each-other and hive mind stuff going on in MTG canon.

Although if I got the choice, I would adore having a Storm Atronach buddy. I could benefit from having a guy with me to zap the shit out of my enemies considerign where I live. And Storm Atronachs are cool as shit.

Do you practice divination methods based on a PCM series?

*pointed look at Bayard the PokeOracle*

I own several fandom-based tarot and oracle decks and most of them suck, but I've talked about that before on @jasper-tarot-reader.

I tried to make two oracle decks out of MTG cards before with particular themes, but I didn't like how they came out. I'm currently thinking about adapting my existing Commander decks to do something similar, perhaps in sync with my Modal Commander Servitor idea... It's very much just in the musing phase, though.

Thanks for sending all of these, Khajiit!

~Jasper

#ask game: pop culture paganism/magic #answered #silly khajiit #personal #pop culture #pop culture magic #pop culture magick #pop culture pagan #pop culture paganism #pop culture witch #pop culture witchcraft #the elder scrolls #magic the gathering #pokemon

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trumpetnista · 7 months ago

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CMW2/Trumpetnista: Foil

Summary from FFN: FERAL-VERSE VERSION OF THE SERIES FINALE: After months of misery, Jeremiah FINALLY throws down the gauntlet and everyone is more than ready to end his reign of terror. Selina has been re-evaluating her life decisions and has decided to change, leading to the peace and joy she deserves;Rated for language, GOTHAM typical action/gore, and BatCat lovemaking;1st in my 2025 SSS Project

Words from the Hooded GOTHAMITE: Good Aftenoon and Happy New Year, everyone! It has been a very long time since I've done anything fandom related consistently and there are legitimate reasons why. The full story is under my personal tag but here's the synopsis: In late 2020-early 2021, I accepted the religion that I grew up with (Jehovah's Witnesses) was a Cult so I've been in the process of deprogramming and discovering myself. In mid-September 2022, I had a psychotic break that led to an 8-10 day hospitalization and more importantly, my Bipolar 1 diagnosis.

In August 2023, I lost my father due to congestive heart failure coupled with nursing home neglect and my mother is currently dealing with being a widow along with her own growing stack of medical/mental issues that she refuses to go to a nursing home for.

My fibromyalgia has changed in an awful way, which means I'll likely have to go in for more surgeries to deal with it, along with handling the ongoing healing of my dominant left wrist and hand from surgery to deal with Kienbock's Disease. I've recently been diagnosed with arthritis in my ribcage but thankfully, my change in diet and lifestyle is compatible with keeping it in check, as well as more surgeries.

With all of that being said, I want and need to do something that brings me joy and that I have full control over. Writing has always been a part of my life, one of my greatest joys, and I want to get back to it.

Thank you so much for your patience.

The show may be over but my love for it is far from over. GOTHAM has so many characters, so many ideas that deserve more exploration and my Emo kids turned Emo adults may have ended on a hopeful note but the trashy shipper part of me wants better for them.

I still plan on writing them getting turnt together and I’ve finally settled on an idea for the sequel to Positive but this idea won’t leave me alone. We’ll be returning to the Feral-verse here. It’s one of my favorite AUs.

I absolutely fucking despise Harley and Joker’s “relationship”. I always have and I always will but none of the versions were more offensive to me than Jeremiah and Ecco’s. It just...y’all know the meme: “DISGUSTENG”? Yeah. I was more than happy to see her die (Spoilers. Apologies.) but it also made me wonder what would’ve happened if someone actually called out the “relationship” for the toxic bullshit it was. Who better than Selina Kyle? Of course, BatCat will be serving as an imperfectly perfect foil to their nonsense (hence the title...I love making connections like that. It’s one of writing’s joys) and honestly, this fic is just an excuse to bash the life ruining circus freak and write BatCat action plot with porn with healthy communication for flavor.

Also, this fic is gonna go deep into Selina’s head. With everything that’s happened to her and the city, she’s come to some conclusions, conclusions that could (and will) change her life for the better, not just between her and Bruce but in general. I want my Grumpy Cat to have joy and as much peace as the world will allow. She deserves the whole world. She really does.

Disclaimer: “Honestly, it’s not mine!”

"Hi, Selina Kyle!"

"...hello...you okay in there?"

"Uh-huh. Everyone here has treated me real nice. I thought they'd be mean but nope."

"Good."

"Can you chat for a while? I'm sooo bored and there are hardly any girls around..."

"Sure, just as long as you keep in mind that if you try to pull a Move on me, you'll have more holes in you than swiss cheese before you can blink."

"Fair enough...so, are you gonna cook me before you eat me or am I gonna be sushi? I love sushi...man, I miss sushi so much. I'd cut someone's pinky toe off for some sashimi right now..."

"Why the hell would I eat you?"

"Because you're a Cutie Cannibal, Curls. The scared little bunnies told me and Daddy all about you before he made them go bye-bye. You ripped Wet Willie's throat out and made them bring it home to us. Lil' Bitch Baby Penguin, Crazy Widow Barbie, Raggedy Andrew, The Song of Ice and Fire Blasters, even Jimmy the Gent watching us over yonder with his loyal posse of fellow do-gooders...they're the Big Giant Heads of this city yet they're all scared shitless of little ol' you. You don't see it?"

"I see it every day but I don't care."

"You don't?"

"Nope."

"How come?"

"None of them matter to me. Okay, Gordon, Bullock, and Barbara do because they're Squad but the rest of them can fuck right off. We'd be better off if they died or left town and never came back."

"Weren't you and The Fire Blaster besties back in the way day?"

"Yeah...The Plant Witch, too but they went their ways and I went mine. It is what it is. Good times or not, when they pull a Move on me and mine again? I'll stomp them like roaches."

"Harsh."

"Yeah, but better them than me and mine."

"...I know a secret about you, Selina Kyle. Wanna hear it?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Bruce Wayne matters more to you than anybody else in the whole wide world. Oh, you put on a good show of being a cold hard bitch but anyone smart can see right through it. You lurve him. I mean, c'mon. You moved out of Haven to live in sin with him in his lovely little townhouse and big beautiful Manor. You made peace with his manservant and now you're like a daughter to him. You and Brucie run around every day with the coppers, still trying to save the sinking ship and all the sad little rats trapped inside of it. He tells you all his secrets and you tell him most of yours. You're giving him your milk and cookies whenever he wants 'em and you even took a naughty little bullet for him. Mr. J thought that when he shot you down that it'd change everything between him and Brucie for the best. His crazy sexy cool buddy Ra's said that it would before he went up in smoke with the Bridges. Mr. J thought that they'd be best friends and brothers forever because you would be out of the way but instead, capping you ruined just about everything and he's mad about it. Super-duper mad..."

"I can tell. Did he put those fingerprints on your arms? The shiner around your eye?"

"I like it rough, Puddin'. You should give it a try. Get some pretty marks of your own."

"Don't call me Puddin'. Your marks aren't pretty and they're not from liking it rough. They're from your boyfriend being an abusive mouth breathing shithead."

"Well, that's just mean!"

"Not as mean as he is to you. Anyone who thinks it's okay to treat their partner like a punching bag is disgusting and deserves to die in a fire. Period."

"...so me-an...you're not looking at the big picture...you don't know him like I do..."

"I wish I didn't know him at all but alas, poor goddamned Yorick. You do realize that he doesn't really love or care about you, right? If you dropped dead right in front of him, he would just go find someone else. He wouldn't even have a real funeral for you. You're nothing but another sucker that's willing to do his dirty work for him. You're 3 holes for him to bust a fat nut in and that's it. You ain't shit to him and you don't see it. I feel really bad for you."

"Ohhh, grumpy baby alley cat's all of a sudden an expert on true love? You think you can judge us? What do you think is gonna happen with Wet Blanket Brucie down the line? Do you really think you're gonna live happily ever after? You're gonna go around the world with him and be his bodyguard and let him do you in any boardroom he wants? You're gonna marry him? You're gonna be the Lady of Wayne Manor and start popping out his ugly little bouncing billionaire brats? You're gonna be the Queen Bee MILF and make mango mimosas to wash down the magic brownies for your book club on the weekends? Is that what you want from him? That's your dream life?"

"If he's down, fuck yeah. After all the shit we've been through, being together like that until we get dead is a great idea. It'd be fun as hell and our bouncing little billionaire brats would be absolutely fucking precious, thank you very much! I mean, they'll definitely get stuck with my hair and his nose but still..."

"Huh. Well, you just talked so bad about Mr. J but seriously? It's Bruce Wayne, as in Wayne. He could be with any broad he wants. He could drop you like a bad habit any minute now."

"He could but he won't. I'm it for him and it goes both ways."

"You sure about that, pussy-cat?"

"More than anything."

"...you really think you're so special to him? You think that you're his whole world?"

"I know I am because when it counts the most? He shows me. What's yours shown you?"

"The Truth."

"The Truth about what? Insanity?"

"No! Gotham. People. Life. I'm free!"

"Says the broad who's sitting in a cage and is gonna get deep fried at worst or locked in a padded closet at best. Ecco, that bastard hasn't shown you anything but how to completely ruin your life but he'll send someone to come get you eventually. It won't be for love, though. Unh-uh. He'll do it because it'll keep you under his thumb. He'll do it because he knows that if you ever woke up and saw that The Emperor's buck ass nude? He'd be done for. If you were smart, you'd get rid of his bitch ass and run The Dark Zone by yourself. It'd be easy. I mean, all you'd have to do is feed him a good meal, liquor him up, give him the best fuck of his life and then as soon as he falls asleep? Use a shiv to draw a big smile across his throat and let him drown. Then, you'd really be free and what's left of the gene pool would be saved, if you're not pregnant already. Wait, are you? Do you need a piss test? That's one of the few things we've got a ton of..."

"Not yet, sweetums but hopefully down the line..."

"Hopefully never. There have been enough Valeskas. The world and what's left of this place doesn't need another one running around. Did his brother really shoot you in the fucking head?"

"He sure did...and the naughty little bullet's still in there rattling around today. Watch!"

"...your guy isn't worth a pot to piss in but mine is. B isn't perfect but at the end of the day, I'm sticking with him because he's a good person with a good heart, even after all the shitty things and people that have happened to him. There is nothing good left inside of Jeremiah, if there was really any to begin with. I doubt it. He's a mad dog so do yourself and everybody else around here a favor? End it with him and kill him before he kills you. Seriously.”

//////////////////////////

"I knew a lot of folks like her back in the day. They were so hurt and lonely that they'd latch on to the first person that paid them any attention. 9 times out of 10? They would end up in the Shelters and eventually on The Hoe Stroll. A few of them even went missing...and it wasn't always men hurting girls. Sometimes, it would be a woman who'd take a boy in and I just...I had to try."

"I understand. Maybe Ecco will take your words to heart."

"Nah. She's too far gone. She's gonna stick with him to the bitter end and it sucks. It would've been awesome poetic justice if she was the one who did him in but I guess it'll have to be me."

"No."

"Jeremiah's a sick fuck, Bruce. You know that better than anyone around here. You saw how far he's willing to go to get what he wants so how the hell else are we supposed to deal with him?"

"He shouldn't just die. He needs to stand trial for everything he's done."

"All putting his guilty ass in a courtroom will do is give him a chance to blow it up."

"Selina..."

"Okay, fine. Let's say that the trial gets done without another mass murder or bombs going off...where is he supposed to go after it? Blackgate can't hold him. Arkham will just make him worse and give him more idiots to use as fodder when he breaks out. Even if the Feds take him far away from here, he'll bust out and do the same twisted shit or he'll be on Death Row getting 3 hots and a cot for 50 years before he rides the lightning down to hell. He's the reason why this city and everyone in it is fucked so he needs to die sooner rather than later."

"I agree but that doesn't mean that his executioner has to be you."

"Are you sure about that?"

"...it shouldn't have to be you."

"Well, somebody else better step the fuck up soon because I'm tired of him hurting people!"

"So am I."

It had dawned on Selina Kyle during her chat with Ecco that someone was funneling information to The Dark Zone, far more than what was coming out. On the surface, all was calm. Those who managed to get to The Green Zone told a different story. People were being tortured and killed just for the thrill of it. Supplies were strictly rationed out, tied to a system of credits. The credits were earned by causing mayhem or through hard labor.

Smaller gangs roamed the Zone's streets like packs of wild animals: fighting, partying, looting, and fucking nonstop. Jeremiah's stronghold held the biggest number of people. It was the center of the action. A select few were fanatically devoted to him like Ecco. Unfortunately, the place was mainly housing people caught in the middle, just like the ones who had escaped from Penguin's City Hall stronghold and Zone.

They were in a far worse situation and needed to be rescued. Valeska was counting on it happening. He would have all sorts of SAW traps ready to make things harder for everyone. He had been ignored for too long and Selina had thrown down a very public, very bloody gauntlet when she did what she did at Haven.

Jeremiah was looking for a grand Show Stopping Number. He wanted to be the Star of the Show and he would get his wish. People like Jim Gordon wouldn't let the shitty situation stand for much longer. They couldn't. After all, they were do-gooders and stalwart heroes. Their noble work was never done. Plus, nobody deserved to be trapped with a leisure suit wearing off brand Jim Jones with a fetish for domestic terrorism.

Not to mention that everybody, even those who initially benefited from The Bridges Falling, hated the dumb fuck for making it happen with help from Ra-men Noodle Soup.

Mercifully, that twisted bastard was very much dead and would stay that way. The Knife had done him in just before the bombs blew. Barbara had grabbed Bruce and used him to ram the enchanted blade straight into where the man's heart would have been if he had one. After slaughtering all the men, Ra's Al Gul's female followers had pledged their allegiance to her, giving her a devoted Amazon Army, but the damage was done.

Destroying the bridges ruined everything for everyone. Initially, it had been like Criminal Christmas but now, it was after New Year's and everyone was hungover and depressed.

Yes, the bad guys finally got their glorious victory but at what cost? Ruling Gotham didn't mean anything if supplies couldn't come into the city. Ruling Gotham didn't mean anything if the people they wanted to take advantage of inside of it died or rioted before they could. Fresh and packaged food, clean drinking water, safe places to sleep, medicine, ammo, clothes, booze, drugs...everything was running low. There was only so much that could be done before the situation got even worse.

They were running out of options and most dangerously, they were running out of hope.

Selina knew all too well what a lack of hope caused and she didn't want to see it happen again.

Salvation lay in Reunification with the mainland.

No matter what side of the law you were on, no matter what Zone or Turf you lived in, if one had an ounce of sanity left, they prayed to whoever and whatever they believed in for Reunification.

The government was doing everything to avoid making it happen, citing the ongoing danger.

Jeremiah Valeska was hands down the biggest problem keeping help away. If the impending rescue mission went well? If everyone in the city pooled resources and teamed up to take the circus freak's cult down for good afterwards? If they could show proof of Jeremiah's death or proof that he'd never be a major threat again like Sofia Falcone? It would eliminate lots of, if not all of the excuses and red tape. The few good people left in the government plus volunteers from all over the world could step up and come through. Then, they could all work together to rebuild and make the city better than ever.

They could heal and things could finally get back to as normal as Gotham would allow.

Despite getting out of their bed, Bruce hadn't joined her on the window seat and she knew why.

Ecco knew way too much about their relationship to be guessing. That meant that there was at least one spy inside the GCPD, Haven, and a bunch of snitches looking for street cred lurking about. Looking down, the night was dark and still. However, that didn't mean that they were alone. Yes, the 5 blocks around the townhouse were virtually deserted but there were lots of hiding places. Breaking into a house was child's play and spy cameras were better than ever. Valeska had been a brilliant scientist and engineer like Lucius Fox before he lost his marbles. If he really wanted to see and hear them living their lives?

"...let's give them something to talk about. They want to watch us? Fine. I don't give a shit about them and you shouldn't either because none of them matter. We do. We're good and he can't take that away from us. I won't let him."

Over the years, Selina had made the common mistake of equating femininity with weakness. She was a kid and later a woman on Gotham's mean streets. There was no room to be soft. There was no time to be weak and really, if she had a choice between swiping a carton of milk or a tube of lip gloss? It would be the carton of milk every time. She had to be practical. She had to be strong at all times...but that way of thinking was wrong. Selina was strong and badass no matter what she wore or stole. Nothing was stopping her from being soft yet strong except for her own bullshit. Having come to that realization, she had started making slow but permanent changes.

Soft fabrics and textures, brighter colors, makeup and nail polish...Selina had always appreciated pretty things. If she wasn't stealing basic things for survival, she would take jewelry, particularly diamonds. Nowadays, she indulged that side of her through her loungewear. She still wore Bruce's clothes but mainly, she donned nightgowns and robes when at rest. The robes were soft and warm, some even having deep enough pockets to hold multiple weapons. Her nightgowns ranged from hip to floor length. They had lace detail, pearl buttons, and satin bows to be tied or untied. Some of the gowns were thick, preserving her modesty and others were silky sheer, leaving very little to the imagination.

Selina had also started putting her hair up again. As wild as her curls had become, it was the only option other than a buzz cut. She was sure that she would look great with short hair but she wasn't brave enough to reach for the clippers yet. Her hair being up most of the time meant that she had a growing collection of pins, brooches, clips, and barrettes. Her favorites were a gift from Bruce. The large pins were platinum with raised cat's paw black diamond detail. Where and how he had gotten ahold of them was anyone's guess but she adored them. They were strong enough to keep her mane under wraps without pain. They doubled as lock picks and in a pinch, they could be weapons. They probably wouldn't slit a throat but when she went for the eyes?

Before Bruce could get settled, Selina was already invading and annexing his personal space.

He laughed at her audacity and laid back, happily letting her use him as a mattress.

Bruce was warm and smelled like safety. He had run out of his toiletries and while she did miss the spiced pine, he still smelled like home. His lips pressed against her temple and Selina hid her face in his chest. The full moon was bright in the smoggy skies and they were as safe as Gotham allowed them to be at the moment.

When times of peace came, it was best to grab onto them with both hands. How and why Bruce saw her as a part of his peace confused her to no end but Selina felt the same way about him.

That feeling of peace also added to her protectiveness over him.

People were always trying to take him away. They were jealous of his high social status, angry at him for interfering with whatever questionable and illegal stuff they did, or just plain nuts.

They wanted him dead and gone. They wanted him maimed and they desperately wanted to bring him down to their level to break him beyond repair. Bruce hadn't given in to any of them. He had made mistakes but he was still good to the bone. He genuinely wanted to be a good person and he wouldn't give up his light without a fight to the end. If Selina had a say in the matter, she would be fighting right by his side.

Bruce being Bruce would try to stop her but she would shut that shit down with prejudice. She did what she wanted whenever she wanted. Nobody could tell her what to do. No matter what happened, at the end of the day, they were in it together. She and Bruce were their best selves together. They could take on the biggest threats and win, even when one or both of them got hurt. Even at her angriest at him and vice versa, when it counted the most, they were a team.

No, they were a family.

"...everything you said to Ecco about our possible future earlier...did you mean it?"

"Yeah."

"How long have you felt that way?"

"A while. I just...I figure that if I'm gonna be happy down the road, like legit happy? Then, you're in the mix and if I wasn't serious about us sticking together, then I wouldn't be here with you right now. Does that make sense?"

"It does."

It was hard for her to trust. It was even harder for her to talk about her feelings but Selina wanted things to be crystal clear. Most of the problems between her and Bruce started with a misunderstanding. Not only that but Selina had seen what happened with other couples when they weren't honest with each other about themselves. It led to drama and all sorts of heartbreak that she didn't want either of them to feel again.

Outside of her relationship with Bruce, Selina didn't want to wake up 10, 20 years from now and have nothing to really show for her life but regret. She needed to change her ways and mean it.

Many would call her wrong to change. They would say that she was being stupid and weak.

She wasn't. She had thought long and hard about it.

Being trapped in that damned hospital bed gave her plenty of time to mull over her options.

At the time, the only endgame she saw and wanted for her future was death. She was a cripple, a burden, and she wanted out. It was no less than what she deserved, she figured. She had been playing Russian Roulette with her life for years and the bullet had finally been in the chamber.

Selina had given up and had expected everyone else to do the same. That hadn't happened and against all odds, she got another chance. She had been knocked down but not out.

Bruce had gone into the belly of Ivy Pepper III's poisonous plant covered beast to get help for her. He had stood up to a very angry, witch hunting mob and to Ivy herself more than once. He had risked life, limb, and what precious little sanity he had left just for her. The Root had fixed her spine and Selina was back on her feet almost immediately. She could stand, walk, run, and jump again. She was stronger than before, faster than before, smarter than before and she could do anything without feeling awful burning, numbing pain. Her dreamy words to Bruce before they embraced each other were absolute truth: she was better, better than ever before.

With her new abilities, Selina could become the undisputed Queen of Gotham's Underground. Either that or she could be a top tier Thief for Hire, taking on Jobs and pocketing big bucks.

Choosing either of those paths would set her up for failure.

They would make for a hollow and sad life, filled with nothing but danger and stress.

She would spend the rest of her life looking over her shoulder for the cops or the Feds. She wouldn't have any true friends or family anymore. She would end up murdered in a street war. She would get hurt worse than when Five shoved her through the window and when Jeremiah shot her combined. The best outcome for her if she kept going as she was would be Exile, never able to set foot in Gotham again out of fear of rotting in a prison cell or bullet to the head.

She didn't want that.

Selina had witnessed the Rise and Fall of many of Gotham's rulers, people who seemed to be indestructible. Those people ended up locked in a cage, on the run, and dying violently. Not only did they end up betrayed and dead, their downfall always came about because of someone they trusted. Either someone they trusted or someone they underestimated. Mainly, their end came from someone that they had fucked over and didn't kill or make amends with afterwards.

Selina wasn't sure what she was going to do with her life next. She had been a Thief for almost as long as she could remember but enough was enough. It truly was.

She had messed up a lot. She had been selfish, bitchy, and lost good friends. She had backed the wrong players in Turf wars, leading to people dying and getting hurt who didn't deserve it. She had hurt people who cared about her and honestly, there was only so much dumb/good luck left in the world for her. She had gotten more than her fair share of it.

It was time to straighten up and fly right before it was too late.

Selina only had 7 of her 9 lives left and she would be damned if she wasted them.

8 Days Later...

"I thought you'd be Jim."

"Yeah, me too but he's got his hands full with Lee right now."

"That better be fucking literally. The woman risked it all to get herself and those kids away from those tunneling psychos because she believes in him: not the GCPD, not the government, but him. Even after all the bad things that happened between them, she did that shit so he needs to take his head out of his ass and be with her forever. He's never gonna do any better and as awesome as Lee is, she won't either. They're it for each other. They tried to pretend that they weren't and made things bad for themselves and everybody around them. They can't get a do-over but they can move forward and they should. They'll have to work their asses off for it but it's doable. They're good together so they need to stop being dumb and start being happy before it's too late."

"...you ever consider writing an advice column? You'd make a killing."

"Anything's possible. Wanna come up?"

"Nah. I've had my fill of roof ledges and of being hypnotized. I should've shot that twisted little rhyming freak in the face when I had the chance."

"You'll get another one real soon. Tetch always follows the craziest ones and ain't nobody in town crazier than Valeska, not even Barbara, which is what you're here to talk to me about."

"Yeah."

"...when he tries to kill B and Lurch again, I'm gonna do what I gotta do to protect them but we're going to The Dark Zone to save people and to take as much loot that we can carry with us. I can keep my cool."

"Are you sure?"

"Mm-hm. I'm not gonna let him win, Harvey. It's part of my whole "know better, do better" Master Plan...plus, I don't wanna end up like Tabby. She let revenge get in the way, dropped her guard, and now she's Gone. I mean, she, her brother, and Butch did some fucked up shit to Penguin and his mom that definitely needed to be paid for with blood but she still didn't deserve to die like that. She should've had a fair fight. Yeah, he would've got her in the end but he'd be dead too so it would've balanced out, y'know?"

"Yeah...speaking of keeping things balanced, could you get down from there?"

"But why, though? Am I making you uncomfortable?"

Giggling, Selina did two flips in quick succession before rising up on her steel clawed fingertips.

"Knock it off! See, this is why I hopefully don't have kids..."

The Twelfth Precinct was a buzzing hub of activity. At midnight, a trio of emaciated children had shown up in the lobby with haunted eyes. None of them had said a word but a note had been pinned to one of their dingy red and white striped shirts. Letters from various magazines had been glued to the yellow legal pad paper, spelling out the words COME SEE ME. I'M BORED. Underneath was a picture of a deranged clown's grin in purple Sharpie, surrounded by laughter written in blood. Whose blood the HAs had been printed in was a mystery but the message was clear: Valeska was more than ready for his closeup.

At least the bastard had the decency to throw down his gauntlet before winter arrived. It was going to be hard enough getting everyone in and out of The Dark Zone alive. The last thing they needed was someone to slip on some ice or for a blizzard to be going on, too. Maybe if things went well, the government would take their heads out of their asses before Christmas.

After downing the last of her water, Selina went towards the file room. There was a loose vent cover and she could fit into the surprisingly clean air ducts with ease. The Twelfth's basement had a boxing gym inside of it and Bruce was down there preparing for the raid. She wanted to make sure that he was okay but also didn't want to break his focus.

He needed to be at 110%.

Jeremiah wouldn't go down without a fight nor would he go down without a one on one confrontation with Bruce. It just wasn't in his nature. It wasn't in not so dearly departed his evil twin Jerome's either. Everything they did had to be dramatic. Everything had to be big, loud and the more bloodshed, the better.

God, Selina was looking forward to him being gone for good.

The world would be better off without him and his followers running around. Jeremiah being gone meant that there would be one less demented asshole trying to hurt or kill Bruce. That was always good in her book...

Getting to her destination, Selina stretched before replacing the vent cover. The basement locker room was co-op but only slightly bigger than the ones upstairs. It was used for storage mainly but people could still get a quick, lukewarm shower or a nap if they needed to. Years of practice kept her light on her feet and she sat down on the bench in front of the first row of gray lockers. The room was dark but the gym's overhead lights shone through the exit's frosted glass window, highlighting all the shadows.

"...you're worried."

"I'm not just worried. I'm terrified. I don't want her within a mile of him but Selina is one of the best fighters we have, if not the best. Plus, if I tried to tell her to stay here, she would not only come with us anyway but she would literally whip my ass for bossing her around outside of our bedroom. No, thank you."

"Smart man. Selina's not going to risk her life without a good reason. She never does."

"I know and she's right. Jeremiah needs to be stopped for good. His death is the only way that we can be sure that he and his followers don't hurt anyone else, at least for a little while."

"But?"

"...I don't want her to be like I was after killing Ra's. She's already been through so much and I don't...I know that she's killed before. I know that but it's different this time, Alfred. Everything is different now and I can't lose her. Not her, too."

"You won't lose her."

"How do you know?"

"Faith."

Faith was another concept that Selina had trouble coming to terms with. The nuns at the orphanage had spoken about it all the time, as had the priests during the sermons she had attended. Street kids called it Sermons for Supper because after every service, there would be a hot meal and supplies from a food bank offered to them.

Faith was held up as the key to ultimate happiness and salvation, which she believed to a point but at the end of the day? The only faith Selina had was faith in herself.

Putting faith in others was a risk that usually wasn't worth it. It was just another way to get fucked over and heartbroken. Maria had taught her that lesson. Her interactions with Gotham's Rulers and her Squad had been a harsh teacher, too. Don't put faith in anyone for more than a few minutes at a time. Any longer and things would go wrong.

That was Rule Number 2.

Rule Number 1 was to Look Out for #1.

But Alfred had faith in her now. Gordon and the other cops did, too and Bruce? Bruce thought the fucking world of her. He really did and Selina just didn't get it. What did he see that she didn't? What did the others see that she didn't? She really should ask them one day but honestly, Selina was afraid of what they'd say. Another Rule of survival was to make sure that no one had any expectations of her outside of the bare minimum. She had broken it before.

Hell, she was shattering it now.

She had chosen a side and was open about said loyalty. Before, Selina kept her options open and made sure that everyone knew she was going to save her skin first, no matter what happened. Now, she had cut off all ways to make a clean break from everyone around her and more importantly, she didn't want to. Selina wouldn't be any better off if she left Gotham behind nor would anyone else. She would miss her family so fucking much and they would miss her too because she mattered to them.

Selina mattered to people as herself now.

Not as an elite Thief, not as a glorified Errand Girl, just herself.

Would she ever get used to that?

Deciding to save the rest of her existential crisis for later, Selina joined them in the gym. Bruce was sitting on the staircase, head bowed. He looked as if the world was resting on his shoulders. Alfred had his pistol up but as soon as he saw that it was her, he lowered it immediately.

The relief in the man's body language said it all and Selina nodded, removing her jacket.

"I got him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Jim was looking for you. He says he wants you to team up with the Sniper Squad."

The ball was in her court now. Bruce was expecting her to make the first move and Selina wasn't about to disappoint him. However, she was going to do it differently. That was another part of her new lifestyle: being unpredictable in good ways. Also, Bruce was in a very dark place at the moment so her usual methods would shut him down. She didn't want that. Neither of them needed that. Soon, they would be facing the monster in the closet head on. If they weren't at their best, Jeremiah would run roughshod over both of them and Selina would be damned if she let that happen.

The asshole had won his battles but he wasn't going to win the war.

In a smooth motion, Selina had her bull whip unfurled. The tip of it hit the boxing ring's bell dead on, clanging it. She did it twice more before taking 5 steps backward, aiming again. Her next target was a large string of half lit Christmas lights. They fell from their place in the corner after 2 strikes. For the next few minutes, she picked random objects in the room to hit, continuing to add distance and speed to her movements. Accuracy and agility won fights or at least bought her enough time to run away from whoever wanted a piece of her most of the time.

Once Selina was warmed up, she began running through her repertoire of combat moves. Many of them had been taught to her by Tabitha but Selina had come up with a few attacks on her own. She had been meaning to teach them to her but so much happened before she could.

She started hanging around Bruce after his Spiral ended, cutting into her time on the Streets and at Siren's. Tabitha had gotten caught up in what would end up being the last round of her war with Penguin while trying to get help for Butch Gilzean's Frankenstein infection. Sofia Falcone went off the rails and started her own war with Penguin before Lee's headshot made the snooty bitch into steamed broccoli. Raise da Roof got resurrected and went on a magical rampage.

Shortly afterwards, Valeska had set up his Little Warehouse of Horrors, making her have to save Alfred and Bruce from Scarecrow's upgraded terror gas. Valeska shot her in the spine and paralyzed her. The Bridges Fell and then the shootout after the helicopter crash happened...god, if Barbara hadn't already laid claim to the little shit stain's life, Selina would take it herself!

Penguin had raised so much hell leading up to The Bridges Falling and the way he killed Tabitha was just plain wrong. Her sister deserved a far better death than the one she got. Then, his Marie Antoinette behavior towards the people living in his Zone, the trouble he had caused until the attack at Haven...

"I'm sorry, Selina."

The defeat in Bruce's voice melted and shattered her heart in her chest. Selina joined him on the staircase and rested her head on his right bicep.

"Why are you sorry?"

"...I don't know. I'm just am."

"You told Alfred how you really feel about what's going on and that's good. You need to do that more often. Holding that kind of heavy stuff in isn't good for your brain, especially nowadays."

"I know. I've been working on it. Cat, I..."

"Stop. I get it. I'm scared shitless, too."

"You are?"

"Duh. Bruce, saying that I can keep my cool is one thing but actually doing it while rescuing a bunch of traumatized people from the sickest fuck that's ever slithered out of the swamp is a whole other ballgame. Jeremiah is sick, twisted, and all the way wrong, even by Gotham's standards. He's a monster that hurts people because he thinks it's the right thing to do, which is way worse than him just doing it for funsies. You don't want me within a mile of him? Well, I sure as shit don't want him or any of his minions to be on the same planet as you. None of them deserve to breathe the same air as you and I fucking hate it when you're in pain."

He snorted rudely at her last declaration and Selina chuckled before clarifying.

"I fucking hate it when you're in pain that I didn't cause or when you're in pain that could put you in a padded room or body bag. Jeremiah hits all of those marks and then some."

Bruce nodded in agreement before closing his eyes again. He looked exhausted and like he was fighting through one hell of a headache. Wanting to help, Selina slowly made her way onto his lap, purring softly. Once she was straddling him, she removed her gloves before letting her nails rake over his scalp. Bruce rested his head on her shoulder to give her better access and she settled in. His hands easily spanned her waist and his fingers locked, holding her fast.

The Root fixed her spine and changed everything else about her. Selina was still human overall but as time passed, more feline behavior and thinking came into the mix. The changes were most obvious when she was angry and especially when it came to showing Bruce affection. She would purr at him, sit on his lap, ambush him, rub against him, and groom him when he would let her.

He always let her.

It made them both feel better.

Life was better when they were together.

It still sucked but having each other made things much easier.

Bruce's hair was getting long. It wasn't hair metal long but it was longer than she had ever seen it. Honestly, she didn't mind. The length gave her more to hold onto when they were really going at it and it was silky soft. It was silky soft, fun to play with, and annoyingly manageable. All he had to do was wet it and take a comb to it before he would be good to go. Meanwhile, really tackling her hair took hours of strength, courage, and at least three tumblers of bourbon.

"Ooh, I'm starting to see some silver fox action...are you getting old on me, Master Bruce?"

Her imitation of Alfred was completely spot on and never failed to make him giggle.

"Any gray hairs that I have now and in the future are entirely because of you."

"Me?"

"Yes, you!"

"What the hell did I do?"

"What the hell haven't you done?"

"I can think of a couple of things...speaking of us getting old and gray, I'm actually 20, not 19."

"Are you serious?"

"Yep. I got bored while Vanessa's crew did a supply swap so I went down to Gotham General's file room and found the O.G. print of my birth certificate. The rest of my birthday's the same but I'm 20. It didn't say who my father is but given Maria's fabulous taste in men, he's either a filthy rich dipshit that she trick-rolled after a Gala or a wannabe hustler she decided to share body heat with to get by. Either way, I don't wanna know. Not anymore. As far I'm concerned, I'm the twisted rage filled root of the Kyle family tree and that's A-OK with me. Hey, that rhymed!"

"It did and it was wonderful...are you sure?"

"Mm-hm."

"All right. But if you ever change your mind..."

"I'll let you know and we'll go looking for him...do you feel better now?"

"Yes. Thank you, Cat."

"You're welcome. Do you want me to get off of you?"

"Not yet."

"Okay, then...wanna make out?"

"What else did you find?"

"Another first aid kit, 8 mason jars, a half empty bottle of scotch, and some big ass bundles of yarn, like really good yarn. I think it might be cashmere."

"Let me see...it is."

"Groovy. We can use it to make socks and patch blankets or the docs can use it for surgeries. Whatever comes first. Do you know this place? It seems like you would know this place..."

"No, but after things get back to normal, I'll be sure to find out who it belongs to."

Even though word had likely spread about the impending Raid, everyone involved in it kept things as lowkey as possible. There was a sense of urgency in The Green Zone and amongst its allies but there had been no showing off. They would leave all of that to Valeska.

Everything went into battening down the hatches. Everyone had a job to do, even some of the kids (not by force, never ever by force!) and they would face whatever was to come head on. Gotham was no stranger to crises. Over the years, it had been the center of absolute mayhem. From gas attacks to magical curses to torture disguised as Frankenstein "science", and so many fires, so many explosions. The Bridges Falling was just the latest example of it. The city had been rocked to its foundations and while it was battered, it was still standing. It was ready for more rounds in the ring and whatever happened? Happened. The city would survive and recover or go down swinging. At this point, there were no other options.

As grim as that fact was, it was also comforting.

One way or another, it was finally going to be over...

Selina joined him at the window, standing tall next to him as always.

"We've got it. Tomorrow Night? We'll get it done and we'll get help from across the river."

"You don't know that."

"If you go into a fight or Job thinking that you're gonna get your ass kicked, then you will. As far as I'm concerned, Jeremiah is as dead as Raisin Bran Crunch. They'll burn in Hell together forever and the government will be out of excuses for staying away from here. They'll help out or we'll go to the Media with both barrels to make them. You know how Foxy and his Crew figured out a way to get radio messages out to folks overseas?"

"Yes."

"Well, somebody found a video camera to go with it and people are already telling their Stories. Once they get to the general public, I give it less than 2 days before the government shows up fashionably late with fake apologies and a blank check for everyone's troubles. Nobody wants to be known for breaking those nifty little Geneva rules, after all. At least not in a way that they can be pinched."

"Since when have you been such an optimist?"

"I'm not. I'm just stating facts."

"...I hope you're right."

"I'm always right."

"Debatable."

"Even when I'm wrong, there's enough right to be had in what I say and do so things work out."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"You understood me, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Then it makes sense. Now, are you gonna keep brooding or are you gonna come to bed?"

"...both."

Bruce had a playful side. It was usually hidden but when it came out? God, it was fucking awesome. It was also a way of letting Selina know that life's hard knocks hadn't gotten him all the way down. She laughed as he tackled her to the mattress, holding him to her. Her hands went to his shoulders as he turned them to the side, keeping his back to the locked door.

She didn't have to ask why.

Bruce felt guilty for being unable to protect her in the Study. He shouldn't but he did. Valeska's actions were his own and he had been so determined that even if he had been able to cover her, all it would've done was get them both shot. They didn't need that. Neither of them deserved that.

God, they had been through so much that they didn't deserve.

It was a miracle that they were alive and mostly sane.

Intercepting his hand before it could bury in her curls, Selina pressed a kiss to the back of it before resting it right where her heart was pounding. Bruce's gaze was painfully soft, open and full of love, desire, worry, always the worry...

"Everything is gonna work out the way it should. You'll see."

She would not accept another outcome.

"He'll slow you down."

"He already has but y'know what? I would rather be slow as fuck with him than fast as fuck without him. I'll get where I need to go regardless."

"You feel that way right now but wait until he..."

"Stop."

"Selina..."

"Look, if I haven't been able to talk myself out of being with him by now, then you're sure as shit not gonna do it so just let it go. Please."

"...fine. You want another?"

"Yeah, but I can't. Not until after."

"It's a suicide mission. All of them are heading into a death trap."

"You're not wrong."

"But you're still gonna go with them? You want to get even with the ginger that badly?"

"That and people in The Dark Zone need help, Barbara. They've already been ditched by the Feds. They don't deserve to be ditched by the few decent people left around here. They really don't and if I don't go on the Raid, B will definitely do something overly noble and fucking stupid before they can stop him and then we'll have to deal with Strange's bitch ass to put his pieces back together again. That little Frankenstein bastard makes my skin crawl and he'd definitely try to force me in all of my plant based catgirl freak of nature glory to be his next test subject as payment. Fuck that shit."

"Since when have you been such a bleeding heart?"

"Since always. I'm just more open about it now because I'm too tired to keep pretending. Don't get me wrong: I'm still a cunt. I will be until the day I die and I kick Tabby's ass down in Hell because she's on my throne..."

"Not if I do it first!"

"...I would pay top dollar to see that...the point is that I care. I care and I wanna use whatever time I've got left on this piece of shit rock that we call Earth to do more good things than bad. I should be dead or trapped in a wheelchair right now but I'm not so I gotta square things with whoever's in charge up there for giving me a second chance. Well, third, if you've been keeping score at home. I'm not saying that I'm gonna turn into the next Mother Theresa but..."

"I get it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Just...I don't wanna bury you, too, Kitty-Cat. Do your best to not let that bleeding heart of yours put you down before your time but if it does? Take them all with you. Burn it down, burn it down..."

"...all the way to the got-damned ground!"

"That's my girl...so, is this the part where we hug?"

"It could be. It's up to you."

"Then it is. Bring it in."

"I'll see you soon."

"...y-you promise?"

"I promise."

///////////////////

"Y'know...it's a just damned shame. You're a damned shame. You had a chance to be different. You spent so much time in your secret hideout maze, doing kickass science things and you threw it all away. You could've been like Lucius and used your mind to help people live better but you didn't. You could've asked for help after you got hit with a Nutfluenza money shot or come up with a Cure but you didn't. You decided to act just like your piece of shit Evil Twin and make the whole city suffer. Actually, I liked Jerome better. Sure, he was a psycho with way too much time on his hands but at least he wasn't a fucking pedophile."

"You have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Oh, wait, I'm sorry. I meant an ephebophile. B falls right in that age group for freaks like you. Where's Chris Hansen when you need him? Why don't you have a seat over there?"

"You can't sit there and judge me. You're nothing but disgusting street trash and..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah...I've heard it all before and from people better than you. Get better material, Pennywise."

"You ruined everything!"

"Oh, did I? I can't imagine how. You want some aspirin? I mean, getting caught in and half buried in rubble after a big ass explosion has got to hurt more than your pride..."

"I don't want or need anything from you."

"Obviously, you do or you would have tried and failed to kill me again by now."

Another tunnel operation had been found but instead of trying to get across the river, the route had led to Wayne Manor. Jeremiah and Ecco were long gone but the tunnels were ready for use. While everyone else had been debating (arguing...) about what to do next, Selina had gone forward, unwilling to wait for them. The bloodlust from had been soothed by dealing with the minions who tried to stop the mission but curiosity itched and burned underneath her skin.

The tunnels had wooden supports and lanterns, along with stacks upon stacks of crates. Some were plain wood, holding various supplies, but what stood out to her were the red plastic cubes. Selina was no scientist or demolition expert but typically, bright red screamed kaboom at the top of its lungs. Stepping through the exit, she had been both impressed and horrified to recognize the hallway leading straight to Thomas Wayne's Study. What the fuck? Why would Valeska dig a tunnel leading there? He could've easily made a functional tunnel to get himself and his disciples free.

In fact, that would've been the best move. Anyone who could find a way out of Gotham's ruins automatically held all the cards in the deck and if Valeska had a fraction of common sense left, he would've immediately contacted all the Zone Leaders to do business from the other side of the river.

He had nothing but obsession left in his mind. Selina was no stranger to that mentality and had put the pieces together. He wanted to use the tunnel to access Wayne Manor so he could destroy it like the Bridges. The red containers were bombs or had explosives stashed inside of them, likely both. Whether Bruce was supposed to be inside was unclear but given how Valeska liked to operate, Selena would say that he was trying to blow Alfred up. Despite the Townhouse being Home Base, he still came to the Manor every weekend to check that no one was squatting and to clean.

Attacking the city, destroying the Bridges, shooting her...it was a Game to Jeremiah. Everything was a sick, twisted game to him and if Bruce wasn't going to play with him, then he had to be punished. But, why now? That was the Million Dollar Question: why was Jeremiah making so many major moves in so little time? It was like he was preparing to host a formal Gala or birthday party...or an anniversary...

"...it's because of what happened to his parents. The tunnel, all the bombs...you were gonna blow him up on the Anniversary and just wipe out the whole Wayne family, including their home. Damn. I guess if you can't have him, nobody can, huh?"

"You're not seeing the big picture...I should've been there...it would've been for the best.!"

"You wanted to be there? I was there. I saw...I heard...if you gave a damn about him, the only way you being there would've been for the best, is if you found a way to make sure that they were able to go home as a family! I was there that night and I didn't help them. I couldn't because I was too scared and too selfish. Well, that and because it happened so fast. They were...they were just trying to go home. They were in that alley because they were trying to go home and because of this city's bullshit, because of this city's Elite's Illuminati on meth bullshit, they were shot down in front of their baby and he ain't been right ever since! My word isn't worth a lot but I can promise you that you did not want to be there!"

One of Selina's biggest regrets was her lack of action during that night. She had only been 15 at the time, yes but she could've tried. She could've thrown the carton of milk or the wallet she had lifted. She could've screamed, drawing the gunman's attention, and given the Waynes a chance to run. She could've...but she couldn't have. Her heart screamed otherwise but her mind...even if she had made a move, it wouldn't have made much of a difference in the long run. Knowing what she did now, it would've just ended up with her and Bruce in the grave, too.

Thomas and Martha Wayne had pissed the wrong people off. They hadn't meant to do so but they had. They had kept deep dark secrets, big ugly secrets that had been on the verge of coming out, and things had to stay status quo. Dead Men Told No Tales so the Hit had been called.

Simple as that.

It was nothing personal.

It was just business.

The idea of someone recreating that awful night made her want to tear the whole world apart but Selina would be glad to settle for the prowling "man" below her. Valeska was currently pacing the catwalks above the vats of bubbling foaming mystery fluid. Given that they were currently in Ace Chemicals, Selina could assume that the main ingredient to the frothy white fluid was acid. Acid and other scientific things that could destroy anyone or anything. That had been the other part of the plan. Valeska wanted to poison what little fresh water was left with a truck full of acid bombs and fireworks. Fortunately, the destruction of the Wayne Manor tunnel and Gordon getting the truck away from him had prevented that from happening.

Now, it was a waiting game. Selina had claimed a spot near the roof, giving her a clear view without being in easy range for a bullet. It was wonderful to see the surviving bastard responsible for everyone's misery unraveling in real time. Up until now, he had a Master Plan, a Mission that he had taken great pains to accomplish. Valeska wanted Gotham to be a shell of itself forever and he wanted Bruce to be a part of his fantasies.

Since Bruce had proven more than once that his answer would be a firm 'NO', he decided to target those who meant the most to him as punishment. Valeska had scored some critical hits against all of them but at the end of the day, he was doomed and he knew it.

"...they're coming for you, Jeremiah. Everybody knows where you are and that you're not untouchable anymore. You might as well put the bullet you should've put in my head in yours because if the Zone leaders or Feds don't get you, the whole city is gonna tear you to shreds for getting us into this mess. Raise da Roof used you like he did to everyone else and left you holding the bag."

Before Valeska could retort, several smoke bombs rolled in and detonated. The sound of sirens and angry Gotham citizens soon followed. A grin lit up her face at the terror on stupid fuck's face.

Ah, the calvery...

The Next Morning...

"He had it coming."

"...he did."

"It was either him or us. It wasn't going to be us."

"He shouldn't have threatened you. He knew that I would..."

"You did what any person worth a damn would do to protect yourself and your family."

Jeremiah Valeska had fallen into one of the vats of mystery chemicals. More accurately, he had been kicked off the catwalk he had claimed for himself by Bruce.

Bruce being Bruce had gone full out. As soon as he was inside, he was taking the stairs two at a time. He hadn't let Valeska say a word before tackling him and slamming an elbow into his face. Selina had descended from her hiding place and unfurled her bull whip, cracking it in challenge. Even if Jeremiah managed to get away from him, he wasn't getting away from her.

Every time the demented clown managed to land a hit on Bruce or tried to run, he got a lashing from her, enraging him further. He yelled that he was simply trying to bring truth to Bruce, to all of Gotham and she kept ruining everything. He called her every name under the sun and vowed that not only would he shoot her in the head as he should've in the study, by the time he was done with her, she would beg for him to do so.

That had been his last mistake.

To give Valeska a little bit of credit, he hadn't screamed when he went flying. A noise that could've been one escaped him as he went under but it was mostly gurgling. The blaring of alarms filled the factory and whatever kept the vats bubbling shut down immediately. On the surface of Valeska's vat was a thick layer of makeup and slowly, slowly, his limp body bobbed up to the surface. The sight of him was utterly repulsive, the stench choking, but even as Selina knelt with Bruce, even as she hugged him from behind as he wept, she smiled.

Just as she had told Ecco, it was better for the enemy to die than her family.

Ecco was dead. Not only was she dead, Valeska had killed her himself. Well, he had given her a coup de grace shot. Once the prisoners realized what was happening, they began to fight their captors with everything they had. Ecco had been trampled in the chaos and someone had slashed her just below the ribs, mortally wounding her. She had gotten up and limped to Valeska who had been about to make his escape. According to witnesses, Valeska had hugged her before shooting her in the head again, this time center mass.

Then, he left in his purple Lamborghini like it was nothing because to him?

She was just that.

Nothing.

Nothing but another pawn to sacrifice. Nothing but a bedwarmer and an ego boost.

Sometimes, Selina hated it when she was right.

It was such a fucking waste.

The sound and sight of military helicopters going past the windows was welcome but infuriating. Just as Selina predicted, as soon as the full truth of what was happening in Gotham reached international ears in power, the government quickly got into motion. The minefield that had been illegally placed was gone within 4 hours and ships were already docking. Some were evacuation ships. Other were supply ships. Still others were converted into medical ships and dormitories. People were getting in contact with loved ones and the outside world for the first time in nearly 3 years. People were eating fresh food again. People had fresh water again. Not only that but the streets were filled with Jeeps, tanks, delivery trucks, soldiers, doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers...

They should have shown up sooner.

Despite the euphoria of finally getting the help they've needed, that was the overwhelming sentiment in the air. Gordon being Gordon said it straight to the Head Honcho's face and to the man's credit, he had readily agreed.

There was no getting around it. The Fallen Bridges crisis had been mismanaged and there was blood gushing from the government's fingertips. Selina wanted every coward involved to pay for abandoning them. They deserved to pay with interest for what they had allowed.

They deserved to suffer like the bastards who had directly caused the crisis.

Ra's Al Gul was dead forever, reduced to ashes and his empire in ruins.

Through the window, they were looking at what was left of Jeremiah Valeska.

He had survived his fall but alive wasn't a word that anyone could use to describe him. He was heavily sedated with an IV drip providing fluids with a feeding tube in his nose, and an oxygen mask over his face. His wrists were handcuffed to the railings and he would be under constant supervision via cameras. He would spend the next few months in the locked hospital room until a custom-built cell in Arkham's deepest depths was ready. No medical personnel would be allowed to tend to Valeska without armed bodyguards present.

The vat of chemicals had made Jeremiah into a cross between a zombie, a broken mannequin and beef jerky. His hair was crispy and most of it had fallen out. His face was destroyed from his injuries, swollen and sunken in all at once. His hospital gown engulfed his skinny body and his blankets were clean but far from comfortable.

It was way better than the bastard deserved. They should've just thrown him in the harbor.

"You were right. We took Jeremiah down and outside help is finally here. We're safe."

"We are. See? I told you everything would be..."

"Selina."

Bruce's solemn hessonite gaze had something new within it, something that made her pulse pick up. Selina knew in her bones that Bruce would never hurt her outside of defending himself and even then, he refused to do real damage. Why? Because he was a gentleman, an aristocrat, even. Also, because she was precious to him, the one who he wanted and needed to be with him. Selina didn't want to spend the rest of her life alone. She wanted to have true friends, a Squad, a family...

His arms snapped forward and Selina's gasp morphed into a deep moan as his lips crashed down on hers. The amount of passion in his kiss, the greedy possessiveness of his hands on her ass, his scent, his warmth had her rolling her hips against him, trying to feel more of him, all of him. God, she wanted to feel all of him! Someone, the worst someone, had tried to take him away from her again but had failed miserably. They had faced the sick fuck head on and beat him to a pulp. Bruce was still alive, still with her, still himself and she just...

"...need you, baby."

"...find us somewhere private."

That would be simple. Selina had made a point to learn the blueprints of every major landmark in Gotham while growing up. The knowledge had saved her life and others many times. Gotham General had been one of the first places she memorized plus her experiences in the building as a patient and visitor gave her everything she needed.

Bypassing the elevator, she led him into the stairwell and after descending 4 flights, Selina whimpered as Bruce pulled her flush against him. She rested her hands on the arms wrapped around her waist and tilted her head in offering. His kisses were tender and her knees threatened to give out as he nipped her just underneath her earlobe.

"I love you. I love you so much... mon chaton... mon ange... je t'aime tellement putain...(my kitten...my angel...I love you so fucking much...)...want to give you everything...whatever you want, Selina, it's yours..."

"You...I just want you...I-I love you, too...so fucking much...god, B, stop...let me...we need a bed...please, baby..."

"I love it when you call me baby..."

He was hers. Selina had done everything she could to fight against it, to guard her heart but Bruce Wayne was utterly irresistible to her. He brought out the best in her and it went both ways. She had hurt him in the past. He had hurt her, too but they knew better now. They knew what not to do and had accepted that while they were excellent apart, together? They were unstoppable. They could create miracles and help people and just do good things.

What she said to Barbara at Siren's was the truth. Selina had spent her childhood in Gotham's Underground, doing whatever it took to survive and to gain respect on the streets. She was tired. She had faced the karmic justice she had earned for her misdeeds but she had been saved, restored and made greater by the man she was hurriedly leading down the main hallway.

She had a fresh start, a blank slate and while she had decided to permanently change her ways, one thing always would be the same: Selina did whatever she wanted, when she wanted, and nobody could stop her.

She wanted happiness.

Everyone deserved happiness.

She had a chance for happiness, for genuine joy, and she was going to grab it with both hands. As soon as they finally got to an on-call room, Selina barely got the door open before grabbing Bruce's jacket lapels and meeting him halfway. A delighted laugh escaped her as his hands cupped her ass again and she locked her limbs around him, letting him carry her. As much as she teased him for showing off his physical strength, she loved it. Bruce was strong, he made her feel safe and what woman didn't like to feel like a princess sometimes?

Plus, him lifting her more often would give him practice for their wedding day and night.

Resting her left hand where his heart pounded, she asked a simple but potent question.

"Do you think we can find a priest before we skip town?"

Bruce being Bruce picked up on what she was truly asking immediately and slowly, his left hand went to where her heart was. His smile was brilliant as tears of joy brewed. Their kisses softened into slow sweetness and nuzzling between removing articles of clothing. Skin. She wanted skin. She wanted to feel him, all of him for the rest of her life...

"I'm lousy with rings unless I'm using them as brass knuckles so it'll be better to buy a pendant for regular days but getting a wedding set for special occasions and public appearances is a good idea. Despite all the pain and bullshit attached to being a Kyle, I still wanna hyphenate and we deserve to have a huge wedding cake, goddamn it! It's the least that those goddamned cowardly sons of clap ridden bitches can do for us, given that we spent almost 3 years doing their jobs for them while they fiddled like Nero."

"Will you...I know you typically don't like wearing dresses but..."

"There's no fucking way that I'm not wearing a wedding dress. I'm only getting married once and I wanna do it right. Besides, I look hot in lace. You know that."

"All too well. I love you, Selina Kyle-Wayne. Always."

"...show me."

////////////////////////////

"B, you've already heard me say how I feel about you in my own very special and delightful way over the years so instead of reciting regular Vows, I'm just gonna share one of my favorite poems because it's better than anything that I could ever come up with:

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul. I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers; thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance, risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."

"...Pablo Neruda's 17th sonnet."

"Uh-huh...o-other than that, I just wanna say that I love you a-and that I wanna be with you as long as this fucked up world lets me and you're my best friend and I promise that I'm gonna be a good wife to you. The best wife."

"You already are."

It was a good thing that she had rejected all makeup except a magenta lip tint because she finally lost her battle with her tears. Bucking tradition, she embraced him and Bruce held her like he never wanted to let go. There wasn't a dry eye in the 12th Precinct turned wedding hall and Selina refused to feel embarrassed about being so open with her soft feelings. It was her wedding day, the only wedding day she would ever have. It was a day of joy and the biggest Fuck You they could give to everyone who ever hurt them.

Living well is the best revenge.

"I know that Shakespeare gets lots of props for how he writes about soft feelings, which is valid but to me? Pablo is way better than him. It's not even close. I found a 'Greatest Hits' book full of his work at The Flea when I was 10. Sonnet 17 always stuck with me. Despite Maria ditching me and Gotham being Gotham, I still hoped that one day, I would find someone that I could feel the same way about. And I did. I didn't mean to but I did...does this count as us saying 'I Do' because he just called me his wife in front of everyone and lemme tell you, Padre, I just really wanna kiss my husband right now..."

"That's up to the two of you."

Their first kiss as husband and wife was sweeter than all the ones they had before.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am very pleased to introduce you all to Bruce and Selina Wayne. Congratulations to you both. Live well. Be happy."

"We'll do our best, Father Matthews. Thank you."

Selina looked down at their entwined left hands, taking in the sight of rings on their fingers. Like her beloved hair pins and wedding pendant, they were platinum with black diamonds. The diamonds were embedded in Bruce's while hers was a 4-carat princess cut, flanked by two white pearls. She still didn't know where he had gotten all of the pieces but Selina knew that the pearls were a tribute to his mother.

After all, Martha Wayne had been known for her pearls and she had been a formidable woman, a fighter to the end. Selina appreciated that and like she had just promised, she was going to be a good wife to Bruce, worthy of helping him rebuild the Wayne family.

It was standing room only so the afternoon's spread had to accommodate them. The menu itself consisted of fresh fruit and vegetable platters, charcuterie boards, lemon chicken with mushroom risotto or turkey meatloaf with mashed potatoes both with confit byaldi as sides. There was ice water, sports drinks, and a variety of protein shakes and bars. Every Gotham citizen had malnutrition. If one was lucky, they had survived on MREs, bottled/boiled tepid water and what crops that had taken root, mainly tomatoes and potatoes. And booze. Lots and lots of booze, mostly homemade and caustic.

Their wedding cake was in the center of two vanilla sheet cakes for the guests. It was a simple lemon cake with white buttercream frosting with black frosting roses. It was 3 tiers and made by a posse of older women who had made their nursing home apartment complex into a smaller version of Haven. The people rescued from The Dark Zone lived with them, benefiting them all.

The Leader, Ms. Mabel Johanssen, or Mama Jo as she was called, had taken it upon herself to help Selina find her wedding dress. She, along with Lee and Barbara, had followed Mabel to the wedding boutique she had passed down to her oldest daughter (who had thankfully been out of town when The Bridges Fell) and it had only taken 30 minutes for Selina to find everything she wanted.

Her princess style dress left her shoulders bare, had three-quarter sleeves, and the bodice was white lace with pearl buttons, the lace holding a pattern of snowdrops. The bottom of it was ankle length with had just the right amount for material for swishing while dancing and to take flight when she spun. A pair of plush white loafers finished the look. Her manicure was a simple matte black with magenta french tips.

Her 'something blue' came from the electric blue nail polish she had painted on her toes and the cerulean dress color she had chosen for her bridesmaids. She had left the dress design up to them. Lee and Barbara were more than capable of dressing themselves. Barbara had chosen a one-shoulder bodycon dress that stopped at her shins and Lee had gone with an ankle length, sleeveless empire waist dress with a sweetheart neckline. Black stilettos completed their looks.

Her 'something old' was a 3-way tie between her Bowie knife, the gold studs she had kept since before Maria abandoned her, and Alfred.

Her 'something borrowed' had been Jim from Lee so he could walk her down the aisle.

His investigation into what happened to Thomas and Martha Wayne had led to where they were today. Were it not for him making her one of his street contacts and annoying her enough to want to be a good person every once in a while, she wouldn't be Selina Kyle-Wayne. Plus, walking down the aisle by herself didn't just feel right and far be it from her to pass up on an opportunity to tease Gordon in the future.

He had taken to the task with military precision while crying the whole time. It was sweet but she wouldn't be her if she didn't bust his balls about it. Hell, he would be worried if she didn't...

"Are you okay?"

"Yep. Are you okay?"

"I'm almost as amazing as you."

"...quit being sappy and help me cut this cake, douchebag. I'm hungry."

The members of the press that were present had their cameras working overtime but only Alfred and Barbara could get the best footage. As soon as Selina stepped into Siren's for her owed drink, the blonde had bowled her over in a hug. Between her sobs, Selina heard her thanking Tabby for not letting the universe take her away too. Of all people to be her Guardian Demon (because there was no way that Tab had even glimpsed at the pearly gates...), Tabitha was perfect for the job. Other than black being Bruce's trademark, she had picked her wedding manicure with her fallen sister in mind, as well as her lip color.

Once she heard about the wedding, Barbara had declared that she would be the videographer. Alfred could film for the family but for the official video, she would take charge. For all its campiness, the commercial she put together for Siren's had done its job so Bruce hired her. Plus, giving her such an important job guaranteed that she wouldn't cause trouble, especially since Lee was in the wedding party.

Any romance between Jim and Barbara had been rightfully put to rest ages ago. However, Barbara would occasionally have the same attitude about him as a child who didn't want a toy anymore but didn't want anyone else playing with it either. Plus, the two women had their own issues outside of him. Whenever they interacted, there was always a risk of violence.

Pleasantly surprising everyone, the pair were getting along just fine. If one didn't know better, they would assume that the women were close friends, maybe even Besties.

Time healed most wounds.

Finding out that Lee had purposely gotten herself captured by the tunneling psychos so she could rescue the enslaved 30 children and 15 adults had given her tons of street cred. Couple that with her using her status as Queen of The Narrows to help people and not hurt anyone who didn't deserve it? It was best to squash any lingering Beef, if not just for business purposes.

The best part? Lee acted the same as she did as before it all happened.

The camera shutters and flashes went even faster as Selina happily accepted a forkful of cake. Bruce chuckled as she purposely smeared some frosting over the tip of his nose while feeding him. After cleaning up with a napkin, he passed her a square plate to fill and that was the signal for everyone to start eating, drinking, and being merry. It was a reception, after all. Speaking of that...

"Dancing's mandatory but there aren't gonna be any toasts, right?"

"No."

"Thank God."

"I like what you did with your bouquet."

"Mama Jo said that she didn't want cash but she never said that we couldn't pay another way. Throwing the bouquet is a dumb tradition, anyways. How did it even get started?"

"While a bride carrying flowers and certain herbs has been a tradition for centuries, tossing the bouquet was a way in 19th century England to distract the crowd from chasing her."

"Why the fuck were they doing that? Did she owe them money?"

They both giggled before he pressed a quick kiss to the back of her hand.

"Not usually. On her wedding day, the bride was seen as the luckiest person in the area. People would want to touch her or take pieces of her dress and hair to make charms. Whoever caught the bouquet was seen to be next in line to get married and it also served as a fertility blessing."

"That's weird but also kinda wholesome. Now, eat. You'll need the energy for later."

"Yes, dear."

"Shut up!"

"My husband's standing right behind us."

"Hush, you."

"My vows to him were literal poetry but you're still going for it? Wowww..."

"Stop."

"No can do. Blushing Bride or not, I still gotta meet my daily quota of shit talking and if I didn't bust your balls right now, you'd be worried that you're sending B off with a clone."

"...she's not wrong."

"Annoying, isn't it?"

Grinning, Selina stepped back from them and watched the pilot shake Bruce's hand before he went in to prepare for takeoff. Although she knew that she was far more likely to be killed in a car accident, watching Final Destination at the age of 9 hadn't been the best idea. However, Bruce himself did not hire incompetent people and Foxy had personally vouched for the plane's safety so she'd suck it up.

It was fucking hilarious that she was afraid to fly while having no fear of leaping between buildings or climbing suspension bridges. If she had to guess, it was more about the lack of control but again, she'd suck it up. Where Bruce went, she followed and vice versa.

Plus, getting out of Gotham was necessary for them to truly recover and rest.

They wouldn't stay away forever. They had too many people they loved to do so and regardless of the new beginning, at the end of the day? Gotham was Gotham. The players in the game changed constantly but the city's Ways were in its foundations. The GCPD were outnumbered 50 to 1 and outgunned. Good cops rarely lasted long in the city. They either joined the other side, quit before the end of their first day, or they were collateral damage during a Maniac of the Week's temper tantrum.

Now that Gordon was Commissioner and had the government by the balls, those statistics would certainly change but there would always be a need for something more, for someone... for people firmly on the side of good who could operate in the shadows, who could dwell in shades of gray to get what needed to get done faster.

Everyone had a role to play.

But for now? It was time for her and Bruce to leave. They needed to leave Gotham behind to rest, recover, and explore the world together. Plus, if they were really going to commit to protecting the city from eternal darkness or whatever the fuck, they needed to go through years of extensive training so they could do it right.

They couldn't do that locally.

Once Bruce was released, he joined her at the bottom of the staircase.

"Are you ready?"

"Yep."

Just before entering the jet, Selina waved before happily flipping their father figures off.

The warm evening breeze carried the sound of their laughter as the door shut behind her.

"...so much for joining the Mile High Club."

"You needed your rest."

"Obviously. You got to carry me over the threshold and get a half marathon in. Why the hell is this place so huge? Were your multi great-grandpas compensating for something?"

"Cat, you know better than anyone that there's nothing to compensate for."

"Just because you can fill a pussy like an eclair doesn't mean that they could."

"Selina!"

"Would you have preferred if I said split it like a peach, my darling husband?"

The images on the big screen were loud. Images of Gotham Before and After, heart wrenching clips from viral interviews of survivors, people tearfully reuniting with loved ones, exhausted yet smiling children finally being fed properly, trucks of rubble being cleared, a stone-faced Jim Gordon glaring at the Head Honcho as he spoke outside of the reclaimed City Hall...the decorated military man had a black eye and a split lip.

See, not only had Gordon said to his face that they all should have shown up sooner, he said it after falcon punching the son of a bitch in the bullpen. The punch had been a thing of beauty, something straight out of an Indiana Jones movie!

As the news broadcast kicked off, a large collage of government officials was put on display for the world to see. The End of the Fallen Bridges Crisis was the hottest topic and would be for months to come. Their faces were out there but it wasn't enough to just show them. As if on cue, the camera zoomed into the collage and the screen smoothly transitioned into a slideshow. Name, State, Political Party, and how their negligence/cowardice made things worse for everyone trapped in Gotham, each remaining on the screen for 10 seconds each.

"Their families don't deserve it."

"I'll have The Board release a statement. What happens afterwards isn't my responsibility."

The TV was turned off and Selina grinned as he scooped her up in a fireman's carry.

"Who are you and what have you done with Bruce Wayne?"

"You're not the only person who can change their Ways and mean it, Selina."

Changed Ways or not, Selina could feel the Restlessness bubbling under her skin. It needed to be dealt with. Revenge needed to be dished out along with Justice. Not today, not tomorrow, not even a year down the road but eventually. Playing the long game made victory sweeter and just because living well was the best revenge didn't mean it was the only one.

Since she had far too much to lose now, Selina wouldn't kill anyone outside of another survival situation but that didn't mean she was out of options, especially since Bruce would be on board when she read him in.

It wasn't just The Fallen Bridges. There were other catastrophes that had been mismanaged. Gotham was Gotham but Selina knew that the inquiries would uncover at least one Cabal who made tons of money from the constant chaos for decades if the investigators had the balls to dig deep enough. Hell, maybe they wouldn't have to dig at all. Two baker's dozen worth of Geneva Laws had been shattered and justice needed to be served. Nobody wanted to get into that sort of trouble, no matter how tough they claimed to be. There was going to be a race to get to the best PR teams, the best lawyers, the best places to live in Witness Protection...

After reversing their positions, Selina captured his mouth, smiling as his hands slid underneath her top. She had woken up still in her wedding dress sans shoes but waiting on the vanity was one of Bruce's cashmere sweaters. That was what he wanted to see her wearing and she smiled as she put it on. Although Bruce was the poster child for overthinking, there were times where he was simple.

Men loved it when their companions wore their clothes...and when they could take them off.

Sitting up, Selina rested her head on his shoulder, chuckling to herself as she loosened the buttons of his shirt. Once his shirt was unbuttoned, instead of an undershirt, her hand rested on the bare flesh where his heart pounded below. After the shirt was off, Selina gave him a light shove so his back was resting against the headboard. His hands spanned her bare hips and held on tightly, his gaze riveted on her as she shed the sweater. She opened her mouth to say something but Bruce's lips captured hers, making her slump against him. His hands wandered over her back, caressing and massaging until she began to purr.

Skin. She wanted more skin, more of his warmth against hers, more of everything!

When they broke for air, Bruce helpfully lifted his hips and they chuckled as he struggled to kick off his pants for a moment before rejoining their lips. Better. Much, much better. No more barriers, just skin and love and safety. Familiar lips, familiar hands, familiar and delicious scent...her man, her mate, her everything...

"Like this?", he murmured while lining them up.

"Yeah...my favorite...want you..."

All the breath left her lungs as her husband pulled her down to meet his firm upward thrust into her and she shuddered. Selina's senses were engulfed by him, her husband, her love, her fucking everything...

"You are divine... mon doux ange... (my sweet angel..)"

Her response was to nuzzle him before dipping her head to suck just beneath his collarbone. Bruce liked it when she left marks on him. She wasn't sure why. Maybe it was part of his masochism, maybe it was because she was claiming him, giving him and the whole word proof that he was taken, wanted, needed, loved so fucking much that it hurt...

Selina cried out as he increased his pace and green tinted her vision as she peppered kisses to Bruce's jaw before nipping his earlobe. Her fingers bent and locked, her nails beginning to leave imprints in her mate's tender flesh. Not too hard, not too deep, she didn't want to hurt him in bad ways. He was Bruce, not an enemy to be dispatched or a toy to rip apart. He was her husband, her partner, her best friend, someone to be cherished, protected at all costs...

Selina kept her arms around him as her back hit the mattress and she shivered as his hot mouth found her nipples, moaning his appreciation. Closing her eyes, she let him his way with her, moving harder and faster, meeting him halfway. He felt so good, so fucking good, perfect, her favorite, her only...

"Look at me."

She whimpered.

"Look at me."

She moaned.

"Look at me!"

She obeyed and immediately fell over the edge, taking him with her. Pulling him down, she kissed him deeply, nipping and sucking at his lower lip. She could feel his smile and she smiled back, cupping his face. Bruce's full weight rested on her and she relished it. He was warm and smelled delicious, both of himself and their lovemaking. Despite the sunlight streaming through the balcony doors, a bone deep drowsiness had her sinking deeper into the mattress and pillows. After yawning, Selina helped him pull the bedding over their cooling bodies and Bruce pressed soft kisses to the beauty marks on her chest. She pecked his brow and squeezed him.

"Get some sleep, B."

"Are you sure? It's our honeymoon and..."

"Shhh...we have all day and I'll be here when you wake up. I'll be here for as long you need me."

"...promise?"

"I promise. Sleep, baby. I got you."

#happy new year!#CMW2 came back before we got GTA VI!#thank you for your paitence!#fanfic #GOTHAM #GOTHAM fanfiction #babybatcat #bruce x selina #otp: bat & cat #otp: whenever you need me #batman #catwoman #bruce wayne #selina kyle #AU fanfiction #foil #ex jehovah's witness #deprogramming #my healing journey

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