#...but i also don't want to be the cause OF their suffering. my advice for them would be unhelpful i think...

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it's only natural to feel anger when somebody isn't "taking your advice" or listening to you about their mental health or what will help them. People want to help people, and the anger comes when you are perceiving somebody as not being receptive but...

It can be a selfish impulse to say that your opinion about their illness is the only thing they need. It isn't about you, even though the advice you give is given by you.

Nobody deserves to suffer, this is true. But, also, nobody deserves to be forced to do things that either won't help or won't be genuine. If somebody isn't taking your advice, there's a reason for it (maybe it's not a good enough reason for you, but this isn't the point). It's okay to be disappointed or angry, but it's not going to help to lash out at them. That is only pouring water onto a grease fire.

[noisytenant]

when you are afraid to say "no" to someone it can be helpful to ask what consequences you realistically think might occur, particularly focusing on "escalations" and defense against them.

if you are afraid to reject someone, you should ask, "what might they feel in response? how might they act on those feelings? and how might they escalate things in response to being challenged?"

this can help you identify people who legitimately respect your boundaries, relatively reasonable people with some challenging or unhealthy communication habits, and people who are overtly toxic, controlling, and abusive.

subconsciously many people with trauma backgrounds respond to conflicts with a generalized, abstract mortal terror. on an emotional level, there is a flattening where an annoyed tone or triggering phrase can feel as dangerous as a person swinging at you.

but most people, even abusive ones, have limits to what they are willing to do. disentangling your absolute worst fears from grounded predictions allows for solutions beyond automatic survival strategies.

once you estimate the lengths someone could go to assert their will over yours, you can reinforce your own stance, tactically disengage from the situation, and protect your body and personal property.

if you haven't considered potential escalations, then standing up for yourself can feel impossibly risky. but once you understand the playing field, you can mitigate a number of those risks into something manageable.

while we can never be certain of what could happen, life doesn't need to be a binary between "being a doormat" and "going for a home run with a hornet's nest".

and preventing even one instance of (re)victimization can allow you to take back some of the power from the people who have used it against you.

[coquelicoq]

how to write a sympathy card

so someone you know recently lost a loved one and you would like to extend your sympathy, but you have no idea what to say. here are some ideas to get the juices flowing. i did not even try to keep this short, so i've broken it up into four sections: general advice, what to include, some example cards i've written, and takeaways.

general advice

first, if you're reading this i'll assume that you have decided to express your sympathy in some way and just don't know how. the thing about doing this is it will always feel inadequate. it will often feel very awkward. you may be worried that everything you say sounds weirdly insincere even if it isn't. i'm here to tell you that that is all okay and normal and to be expected. i've written a lot of sympathy cards and afterwards i've never been like "wow, i nailed it!" and yet i've gotten a lot of comments from people thanking me for showing up even when all i did was send a measly insufficient card, because most people don't do that. it will mean something to the person that you did it at all, even if it's not perfect.

should you send your sympathy in a card or some other method? if you never send mail, if you don't have their address, if you don't even own stamps, maybe sending a card is not for you. but everything below also applies to an email you could send. i personally prefer a card because i like the physicality; it's something they can keep and look at later if they want to, and it's a way of showing a small amount of deliberation and care (i went to the store and picked this out; i sat down and handwrote this). more importantly, i feel like there's less pressure to respond to a card than an email, and a phone call can be overwhelming to someone who is already dealing with a lot of shit, while a card is just there whenever they feel up to looking at it. but that is entirely my own perspective; there are differences culturally as well as personally. you should do what makes sense for you.

do think about what you're trying to accomplish by sending this card. you may not be able to make things better, but you are certainly trying not to make things harder. one example of this might be: if your friend has just lost her mother, you might have a lot of complicated feelings about this that aren't really about your friend or her mother specifically (you also have a mother!), and that's natural and okay, but those feelings would perhaps be best to share with other friends of yours who didn't just lose their mother. another example: it's okay to be worried about your friend and how they're doing, but try not to imply that they owe you updates or that they're causing you a lot of stress by not keeping you in the loop. (of course, if they are instead sharing more with you than you can handle, it's important to set boundaries around that! though probably not through the mechanism of a sympathy card.)

it is okay to keep it really short and generic. again, i think just the act of thinking to get a card, getting a card, writing something in it, and mailing it already means something regardless of what is written in it. if you feel overwhelmed trying to figure out what to say, it is okay to keep it to "I'm thinking of you in this difficult time. I'm so sorry for your loss." i also sometimes add "I don't know what to say, except that [I'm thinking of you, etc.]."

one thing i've learned that makes this harder is that you cannot assume you know how anyone else feels. you may be thinking, "i also lost a parent, so i know how it feels," but you only know how you felt about it. there are infinite ways to feel about losing someone, including:

sadness for the deceased, that their life is over

sadness for themself, that the deceased is gone

sadness for the other people who lost the deceased

fear of their own mortality

fear of dying in the same way

fear of how their life is going to change without the deceased

relief that the deceased is no longer suffering

relief that their caretaking duties are over

relief that the deceased can no longer mistreat them

anger at the deceased for dying or for not doing something before they died

anger at god

anger at others/self for contributing to their death or not saving them

overwhelm from all the logistical things there are to deal with when someone dies

overwhelm from all the emotions

confusion at their own reaction

guilt for outliving the deceased

guilt for not feeling sadder or for feeling other things in addition to sadness (or for being numb/in shock)

this is an incomplete list!!!

i try not to project onto my friend or put words in their mouth, because it can be very isolating to be told how other people think you should feel if that's not exactly how you feel. because you're sending them a sympathy card, there is some baseline assumption that there is something to feel sympathy about. but beyond that i try to be careful not to get super specific about how "you must be feeling" or how hard "this must be". generally i try to avoid the word "must" because it implies that there is a certain way this is supposed to go, when there isn't.

if i know that they are struggling in some way but haven't talked to them much about it, i personally usually feel okay saying "Loss is hard" or "It's hard to lose someone", which might seem similar to "This must be hard", but avoids the word "must" and the direct reference to their situation ("loss" in general vs. "the particular instance of loss you are experiencing"). if i don't know much at all about how they're doing, i might say "Loss can be hard", which presumes even less, or i might not directly mention the difficulty of loss at all.

but also, it's okay to be more specific and personalized if you have been in contact with your friend as they've been processing the situation. it's good to acknowledge specific feelings that they've told you about, but try to also leave room for other feelings and/or ways their feelings might have changed.

what to include

here are some categories of sentiments you may want to include (all optional!):

thinking of you: even though it's kind of self-evident that you're thinking about them, this is something that is always appropriate to say and always nice to hear. examples: You're in my thoughts. I'm thinking of you often.

wishing you comfort/support: comfort and support are very safe things to wish somebody because they don't assume anything very specific about how they're feeling, and they express care for their wellbeing without putting pressure on them to be fine. I hope you can find moments of comfort in the coming days. I hope you're feeling supported by friends and family.

sorry for your loss: this is one of those things everyone knows is a stock phrase, but it's the kind of stock phrase that imo actually communicates something, so i do generally use it. I'm so sorry for your loss.

my heart goes out to you: this stock phrase is a little iffier, meaning it can be kind of a toss-up on whether or not it will sound insincere. it might depend on how close you are to the person. use your discretion. again, even things that sound insincere to you can still mean a lot to the recipient. My heart goes out to you. My heart is with you.

i'm here for you: offer logistical and/or emotional support if you want to and if you're reasonably sure that you could provide it. if you're able to be specific, that can be very helpful; one thing that can be overwhelming in the aftermath of a loss is dealing with lots of people wanting to help and having to come up with ways for them to do that. Please reach out anytime if it would help to talk about it. If you ever need to be distracted, I'm good at that! I'd love to bring over some food/help out with chores and errands; I'll text you to see if that would be helpful and not disruptive.

prayers: if you and the recipient are both religious/spiritual and it feels right to say, you could say "I'm keeping you in my prayers" or similar, in addition to or in lieu of "I'm thinking of you." if you are religious but the recipient isn't (or you're not sure if they are), i suggest not saying this, but use your judgment. some people don't mind hearing that someone is praying for them even if they don't believe in prayer and may in fact expect you to say it if you are known as someone who often expresses care through prayer, but for others, this can be actively offensive. i would say when in doubt, stick to "thoughts" instead of "prayers". You're in my prayers. I'm praying for you.

there are many ways to grieve: this one is harder to describe, but i like to include something that validates whatever the recipient may be feeling, despite not knowing how the recipient is feeling. the downside of a card is that it's not in real time, so you really have no way of knowing how your friend is feeling when they read it, even if you talked to them previously and know how they were feeling during that conversation. so i like to, in addition to not assuming any particular emotions, make space for the fact that their emotions may be shifting in ways that are confusing or distressing. but you have to be kind of vague about it, because you don't even know if that's happening. I hope you have the space to grieve in whatever way you need to/is meaningful for you. I hope you're getting through this time in whatever way is best for you.

you may want to express your own grief over the loss of this person, if you knew them. i think this can be comforting for the recipient to hear, but i suggest keeping it brief and not overwrought. the last thing you want is for your friend to feel they have to manage your emotions in addition to their own. if you can, do the below instead of or in addition to this.

now i will share my LIFE HACK!! for the very best thing to put in a sympathy card. this will not always be possible, because it relies upon a) you yourself having a relationship with the deceased (which is not always the case) and b) you being able to remember things (which i often cannot, especially when i'm sad). but if you can, i highly suggest something along the lines of the following.

say what you will remember the deceased for. (I will remember them for their wry sense of humor. I will remember them as a compassionate/driven/curious person.)

give an example of a memory you have of them in which they exemplified that characteristic.

if you can't do both, it's also good to do just one and not the other. if you have a favorite memory but it's too hard to think of adjectives to attribute to them, just share the memory. if you tend to think of them as [positive adjective] but no specific evidence is coming to mind, that's okay, this isn't a debate. in general it is comforting to people to know that they are not the only ones who will remember their lost loved one.

example cards

i will now give some examples of cards i've written. these all feel really awkward and inadequate to me, and you can see i didn't always stick to my own advice! but they were all deeply appreciated.

[to my coworker. i didn't have much detail except knowing her dad had been in the hospital a lot, and she was sad that he died]

I was so sorry to hear about your father. It seems like the last few years have been hard on your family, and loss is especially hard. I hope you are able to take the time you need to be with your family and cherish your memories of him together.

[to my friend's mother after the passing of her husband. i knew from talking to my friend that her mom was struggling especially with outliving him, because she was sick and had expected for a long time to die before him]

I'm thinking about you and [friend's name] a lot. I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing someone is so hard. Adjusting to their absence is, too. I hope that you're finding moment of comfort and feeling supported by friends and family. He will be missed. I will remember him for his wry sense of humor; I still have a "card" from him on my fridge (he cut out a sample "thank you" card greeting that said "The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention" from a list of things to write in different kinds of cards (a sample message for a "Get Well Soon" card was on the back, crossed out) and simply added my name at the top and his name at the bottom. It's one of my favorite pieces of mail I've ever received and it's been on my fridge for many years). I am so sorry that he's gone. You are in my thoughts and my heart goes out to you.

[to my close friend and her husband i don't know as well, after a late-term abortion for a baby they had been very excited to raise. in this case i knew some of my friend's feelings, but not her husband's, and while i knew that many things about the pregnancy had been hard (lots of waiting for test results about the viability of the fetus, for one thing), i didn't want to imply that the decision to abort was hard, because my friend said it wasn't]

I'm thinking of you both lots. I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. It sounds like it's been a difficult and fraught process, and I hope you're getting space and time to grieve and to come to terms with the loss. I hope you're getting whatever kind of support you need. If there's anything I can do to help, whether logistical or emotional, please let me know. I would love to be of service to you. I wish I knew what to say. You've just had such a fantastically shitty year. I do believe that things will get lighter for you both, and I hope that happens soon. Take care, and know you are cherished.

[to my grandmother after the loss of her estranged brother, when i was extremely unsure how she was feeling about it and had my own complicated emotions]

I just wanted to send you a card to say I'm thinking of you. Mom let me know about Uncle [name]. I know things had been strained for many years and I haven't seen him in a long time, but I'm sorry to hear that he's passed. I hope that you and [grandmother's sister] are able to reminisce in whatever way feels appropriate and meaningful to you. I'm not sure what else to say, other than I'm thinking of you, I love you, and I'm sorry. It was really nice to see you at [family member's] graduation the other day. The next time we're together, I look forward to giving you such a big hug! I feel very lucky to be your granddaughter and to have you in my life.

[to my grandmother after the loss of my 38yo cousin, which was hitting me really hard]

I don't know what to say, but I just wanted to tell you that my heart goes out to you and that I'm thinking of you, and [cousin], and [uncle], and [father], every day. It's so hard to lose someone, and I'm so sorry for your loss. My grief is a strange animal that sneaks up on me at the strangest times. I hope you are finding moments of comfort and feeling supported by friends and family. I'm looking forward to the day when I can hug you in person.

[to my close friend on the loss of her father after a long illness. she had been leaning on me for support, as another person who has lost someone after a long illness]

I'm thinking about you lots. I hope you're getting through this time in whatever way is best for you. Loss is hard even when you know it's coming and even when you get to say goodbye. I hope you are finding comfort and feeling how loved you are. He was a special person, and I'm so sorry he's left you. I know part of him will live on in you and the other people who learned from and admired him. It's still so hard to lose him, and grief is a strange animal. Take care. Reach out anytime. I love you so much.

takeaways

it will probably feel inadequate to you, but chances are it will still be appreciated.

remember that though you may not be able to make things better, you are trying not to make things harder.

it is okay to keep it really short and generic.

you cannot assume you know how anyone else feels. there are many ways to grieve. that said, it's nice to acknowledge any specific feelings your friend has expressed to you, while also leaving room for other feelings you may not know about.

if you want to offer support, it can help a lot to be specific in how you are able and willing to help.

it is usually comforting to people to know that they are not the only ones who will remember their lost loved one.

even if you do it awkwardly, just the act of reaching out is meaningful! people don't know you're thinking about them unless you tell them.

and remember to take care of yourself, too! watching friends lose loved ones can be hard for you as well for a variety of reasons. reach out to other friends for support when you need it.

[moistmailman]

Demonic Contract AU part 2

Pyrrha, awkwardly: Okay then, so uhm....how should we do this exactly?

Jaune, blushing: W-well, I don't know. I guess we do some couple things around my mother, you know?

Pyrrha: Right, uhm.....what would that be exactly?

Jaune, awkwardly: Y-you know....like, holding hands? And erm...*coughs into fists* and maybe kiss each other on the cheek?

Pyrrha, tilting her head: And those would be considered 'couple things' here?

Jaune: Well, yeah? Obviously. Do....do you not know what couples do?

Pyrrha, shrugging: Not really. Stuff like love isn't that common in hell. Actually, it's usually the opposite of it. Just pain, suffering, and anger all wrapped in fiery damnation.

Jaune:......

Pyrrha: Oh wait, there are a lot of people who have committed adultery down there though.....but those probably aren't the best people to take love advice from.

Jaune: So love is like....foreign to you?

Pyrrha, awkwardly scratching the back of her head: Yeah, I'm exactly not an expert on it at all. *Awkwardly laughs* S-sorry.

Jaune: It's okay. I'm far from an expert too honestly. But damn, really? You don't know anything about love? At all?

Pyrrha: Not really? I know some people have been killed for love, but that's probably all I know.

Jaune: Wow, that's just hard to believe honestly since you look like, well, like this. *Gestures towards all of Pyrrha*

Pyrrha, tilting her head: What's that supposed to mean?

Jaune, blushing: I-its that...well uhm, you're kinda- *looks away in embarrassment* you're kinda really beautiful.

Pyrrha: I am?

Jaune, blushing more: Yeah. In fact, this might be a bad thing for me honestly. You're WAY out of my league. People might not even believe it.

Pyrrha: *tilts head*

Jaune: You look like you could do way better than me is what I'm trying to say. People might see through our facade. Except for my mom at least. She thinks an arc can get any girl they want.

Pyrrha, frowning: I wouldn't say that.

Jaune: Oh shit, you actually think my mom might see through this facade. I'm that bad looking?

Pyrrha: W-what? No! I just think you look pretty dashing honestly. I don't think you're absent from my league.

Jaune, blushing madly: That's not how that saying goes b-but t-thanks.

Pyrrha: Is your face okay? It keeps turning red. *Steps back* Am I somehow burning you? Am I too dangerous to stand next to cause I could-

Jaune, shaking head: N-no! It's fine! You're fine- IM FINE, I mean!

Pyrrha: *confused*

Jaune, trying to change the subject: So uhm.....you don't know much about humans?

Pyrrha, shaking her head: Not much. Whenever I get summoned here I don't usually stay for chit chat. I usually get summoned, order to kill someone and then I leave to go back home. I just know basic things like kingdoms and some cities that I've been too. I also know vague things that humans do but have no idea what they're supposed to mean.

Jaune: So...you've actually killed people before? Like in...the murder type of way?

Pyrrha, looking away:.....m-maybe?

Jaune:...have you killed anyone famous?

Pyrrha, thinking: Uh......hard to say? I don't exactly know your guys' history.....although, I did kill an Mistrilian duke before on the orders of the king of Atlas. I'm sure that person mightve been famous?

Jaune:.....was that duke named Archie by any chance?

Pyrrha, snapping her finger: Yes! That was his name! Was he super famous?

Jaune: Yeah.....his death kinda kicked off the 200 year bloodshed war.

Pyrrha:.........

Jaune: You were the red blur that cut him in half in public that I've read about in history books?! That was YOU?!

Pyrrha:...maybe....maybe we should stop talking about my past, okay?

Jaune: R-right? Okay. S-sorry for asking. *Awkwardly coughs*

Pyrrha:....please don't make me kill anyone. I really don't like it.

Jaune, rapidly: No no no no! Of course not! I would never! I'm just a loser who needs a date, remember?!

Pyrrha, sighing in relief: Good.

*an awkward pause passes*

Jaune: So uhm back on topic, whenever my mom gets here we should just do couple stuff. Like, holding hands, hugging. W-we might have to kiss once but that's it, I swear!

Pyrrha, nodding: Kissing. That's what you guys do with each other's lips, right?

Jaune, nodding: Yes! That's exactly what it is actually.

Pyrrha: Like this, right?

*Before Jaune could respond, Pyrrha closes the distance between them and kisses Jaune directly on the lips*

Jaune, blushing madly: ?!?!?!?!?!?!??

Pyrrha, pulling away: That's what kissing is, right?

Jaune, face on fire: *high pitch* Y-yeah, that's exactly what i-it is.

Pyrrha: I didn't do it wrong, right?

Jaune, face on fire: Nope! You did R-really good in fact!

Pyrrha, smiling: Good! I knew what it was but never knew it was romantic. Succubuses in hell told me about it but I never knew it was a romantic gesture since...well, the people they kiss usually end up dying.

Jaune, face on fire: Well it's a very romantic gesture for humans. *Airing his shirt out* Like, very very romantic.

Pyrrha smiling: Gotcha. This is kinda fun. I like learning about you guys.

Jaune: *still recovering*

Pyrrha:.....*bits lip*

Jaune: Uhm.....is everything okay?

Pyrrha, awkwardly laughing: Yeah, everything's fine. It's just that......kissing you felt nice. Is that normal?

Jaune: *becomes a tomato*

[ladyoftheflowers-witch]

Pick a pile : How can I change my World/Reality? 🌌

Pile 1: 2 of wands, The Empress.

All you need to change your world is to work backwards pile 1, it seems like you have been putting your energy into something but now you doubt yourself, it is something which binds all forms of nature together, it is also something that could lead to light or darkness. The cards are showing that you need to reconcile your contradictions, you know that light can't exist without darkness and viceversa, maybe this involves working through your shadows, fears and wishes for the future, but I feel stronger that you are stuck in something and the solution is the first idea that you had but you need to put all your imagination and productivity to it and not abondon it.

You need to start again or destroy something to create something better, try to concentrate in the whole picture insted of each and every part. Take a close look to your goals and activities, make sure you are using your energy in a wise manner. You will dominate your circunstances dispite your fears pile 1. Take the initiative, follow your heart, where does it leads you? Love it's always the answer, so if you fear failure, try to mitigate it by having more faith and confidence in yourself, don't seek for inmediate results, find useful and just causes to fight for and everything else will fall together later on.

If you follow this mindset, new ideas and opportunities are going to show to you. You will feel more eager to start your abandoned projects and actually feel happy to complete them. I feel like you are working in something that implies to reveal against the power abuse in some way, to have a strong will, and at the same time it involves art and beauty. But anything that you are working on it has the approval of Aphrodite and it assures you success as long you have the courage to initiate it.

Pile 2: 8 of pentacles, Ace of spades.

This pile it's centered in business and carrers, I think that in order for you to change your world, you need to let others help you, a collaboration or commission will benefit you, possibly with a young man that has relation with you in some way, maybe you have similar interests but you complement each other. I don't think this collaboration will be forever, but it will help you in the correct and perfect moment for you.

You have a skill that you are improving, it requires patience, deeply care and attention to the details. It has more chances to have success if you can learn everything that you can about it, so maybe you are assisting courses or studing the subject in depth. It's a hand made skill that will receive good recognition when you can finally exhibit it. With time you will gain new customers and contacts, trust in yourself because you have very good ideas and you have the discipline to achieve your desired outcomes from this.

The cards are giving two advices, one it's that you should catch up on new technologies and technologic divices and the other is that you need to concentrate in one activity, maybe you are dividing your energy in too many tasks or you have many interests and this doesn't allow you to commit to anything in depth, be carefull with that, you might loose time in vain if you don't know what you want.

This is specific, but some of you want to learn sewing and others already are fortune tellers.

Pile 3: 2 of swords, 9 of wands.

In order to change your world you must change your point of view pile 3, you are paralized, hesitating between following the dictates of your head and the impulses of your heart. You are mantaining a passive posture, but you can't avoid making a decision forever. Because of this your manifestations are not succeding, your ideas are disordered because you don't want to face reality.

Make yourself this questions: what am I feeling? Am I avoiding accepting my feelings for fear of the suffering that this may cause me? You feel like an enemy is awaiting you in every corner, but you fail to realize that you are strong, you have strenght in opposition. If you were to be attacked as you fear , the person that dares to do that will meet an onslaught boldly from your side, you are a formidable antagonist.

Don't let appearances fool you, with courage you can win and victory will surely be yours. Don't let discouragement or circumstances make you lose your inner strength. I'm wondering why you feel this way tho, maybe your worst enemy it's yourself and your fears and this is creating unnecessary delays in your manifestations. Try to see reality as a child might see it, you will find new experiences and events but only when you understand reality beyond what the senses offer you would be able to enjoy them.

Pile 4: 8 of wands, 10 of pentacles.

Before I can tell you how to change your world, tarot wants me to let you know that you are blessed by the faery realm pile 4, either literally by faerys or by an ancient ancestor, but they were watching over you since the day that you were born. I'm telling you this, because all your problems derive from not realizing how much support you have. Maybe you know by now that despite every hardship you have endured, things always seems to work in your favor; but you didn't realized why.

Maybe that is the way to change your world and reality pile 4, by realizing you have the support you need even if you don't see it with your fisical senses. This realization will encourage you to dare to take on the most unusual projects. You already have a few ideas in your head of what you want to do with your life, start acting on those, don't let negativity and confusion to take over you.

If you put all your energy, effort and constance into your goals, the cards are showing that you have all the chances to succed and you will feel at peace and happy with your results. Just make sure to take time to celebrate with your loved ones. Make that phone call, visit your family, show your love to your friends, they also love you very much, they believe in you, they also support you and feel happiness when they see you happy.

I hope you enjoyed this reading as I enjoyed writing it for you, sending love and light, yan 💫

[chongoblog]

Any advice for a new player heading into Risk of Rain 2?

I'm far from an expert myself (I've yet to clear Eclipse 4), but here are a few tips from my last few months of hyperfixating on it. (Also these tips will be under the assumption you've at least played the game for a few hours)

-Movement speed > Defense in most cases. They can't hit you if you keep dodging

-In Abandoned Aqueduct, you'll find two buttons. Push pots onto them if you haven't already (doing so unlocks two of the best items in the game)

-The fourth level will always give you a Red Item. In Abyssal Depths, it's in a chest under a rock near the middle. In Siren's Call you have to fight a secret boss to get it. In Sundered Grove, it's in one of 5 possible locations (look for pink mushrooms).

-Don't feel pressured to rush. Looting the stages for items is almost always worth the increase in difficulty.

-Scrappers are your friend. Turning items you don't need into scrap will pay off big time, especially if you find a Printer with just the item you need. Like, if you find a gasoline or syringe printer, you'd have a better time scrapping your bison steaks and turning those into the items you want instead of the risk of losing a Tri-Tip Dagger (YMMV on usefulness of these items, this is just an example)

-Speaking of scrappers: Getting scrap before you go to the moon can really help you out, since there's Soups on the moon. 3 white scraps for a green item and 5 green scraps for a red item.

-If you pick up Trophy Hunter's Tricorn, the best bosses to use it on are Imp Overlord and either Worm, since their boss items are the best. Grovetender's is pretty solid too.

-You're gonna hear the word "proc coefficient" a lot. Don't worry about that too much unless you're a math nerd.

-Scorch Worms are the worst. They were made by Hoppo to cause pain and suffering. I don't have any advice for how to better beat them, I'm just telling you a harsh fact of life.

-In the Bazaar Between Time, there's a reflective surface behind Newt that reveals something interesting. Depending on how far you are in the game, you might not know what it means yet. When you figure it out, you'll get a fun treat.

-Get Egocentrism (This is not advice for how to be good at the game)

-It's hard to do, but the sooner you can unlock Desperado, the sooner you'll have fun playing Bandit.

-Mithrix. A lot of important tips for him, but probably the most important 3 are 1) Hoppo Feather is busted, because Mithrix has what I call the Barnacle Problem (he doesn't look up) 2) BE PATIENT ON PHASE 3. Going in and charging while he does the Pizza Attack (you'll know when you see it) is basically suicide. 3) Find a pillar to hide behind before Phase 4. ESPECIALLY if you picked up Shurikens.

I've dropped off of RoR2 for a bit in favor of other games and also Life (specifically Haste and moving my bf down here), but I'm always glad to ramble about it.

Hope this helps!!!

[stargirlie-sharon]

my brain: hey

me: what

my brain: what if you made headcanons about team prime with a chronically ill/disabled human

me: THAT'S GENIUS LEVEL SHIT LET'S DO IT

Team Prime taking care of a chronically ill/disabled human

Fandom: Transformers Prime

Ft. Optimus Prime, Ratchet, Arcee (+ Jack), Bumblebee (+ Raf), Bulkhead (+ Miko).

Content: Headcanons, platonic comfort, fluff. Reader's illness isn't directly stated. Mentions of mobility aids, flare-ups, pain/discomfort (caused by said chronic illness). Reader is implied to be an ambulatory wheelchair user. Dividers by dollywons.

A/N: this was very self indulgent (and comforting to make), i have plague psoriasis and god it is not easy living with it with all the flare ups, skin issues, psoriatic arthritis... >:( i'm doing a lot better now, i first wrote this while i was having a pretty bad flare-up. as of now i'm fine, but even now it still scars me

to ya'll who are suffering too from a chronic condition, i want you to know that you're loved, and your illness doesn't define who you are. you're not alone. this journey won't be easy, but there will be others willing to support and share that burden with you. take care! <3

tfp banners made by me in picsart! i would prefer if you didn't use these, since i have made them specifically for these headcanons, but i can't exactly stop you, can i? lol. just don't claim as your own

soft autobot hijinks ensue. long post ahead!

After they had been newly introduced to you, the Autobots had swiftly picked up on the fact that you were in need of a bit of extra assistance than the regular human, considering your condition. And they're more than willing to give the support that you need.

Optimus Prime

Optimus takes on the role of a protective maternal figure for you rather quickly.

He reminds you to take it easy, and that your body needs its rest. He wouldn't want you to strain yourself.

He may collaborate with Ratchet- whether that be to ask for advice, research together about your illness(es), or for the both of them to care for you.

If you're a wheelchair user, he'll request Agent Fowler to make modifications to the base so it's more accessible to you and easier to get to certain areas. Ramps, platform lifts, and disability-friendly stuff in general will be installed. Also, your meds/supplements, comfort items and things you may need will be easy to retrieve here at base. He wants to make sure you have the best quality of life here.

It makes his spark ache to know you're in so much discomfort. He wishes he can do more to ease your pain, and feels guilty that he can't do much more. He wants nothing more but for you to feel safe and happy.

Optimus is a good listener. He likes hearing about your interests and hobbies, even if he may not understand it the most. And you're more than welcome to vent to him.

If you want, he'll tell stories from his past back on Cybertron, before he was a Prime. Maybe you could share some memories with him, too. Optimus is just happy to talk with you, and it brings him a sense of warmth when he sees you in an uplifted mood.

Sometimes, he'll cradle you in his servos, his touch giving you a sense of security. As he does that, he'll reassure you with encouraging words and remind you of how much you are worth.

"You're so strong, little one. Despite everything, you strive on and keep going, even in the darkest of times... you're truly more than meets the eye. I'm proud of you. I mean it."

Ratchet

As a medic, he cares. Ratchet educates himself about your illness and does whatever he can to aid you. He'll research your illness's effects, triggers for flare-ups, basically everything. Also, expect him to ask you questions from time to time.

He is a bit more prepared to care for you, since he has dealt with patients back on Cybertron that were disabled and/or ill long-term.

When you're around, he's always sure to keep a watchful eye on you. He's also visibly more concerned and caring when it comes to you. (The others find it endearing. Don't tell Ratchet, though!)

"Have you taken your meds/supplements already? No? Go take them. You need them, after all."

"Do you need a boost? Here, let me help you."

Ratchet opens up more than usual when he's with you. He's even more soft with you when you have flare-ups! He can't help but let his usual grumpy self falter when he sees you in this state... He orders you not to move around too much or put yourself in more discomfort.

If you ever need to vent about your struggles and insecurities, Ratchet's there for you. Sure, he may not be the best with handling emotions, but he'll be there to listen. He'll try to the best of his abilities to console and reassure you. He has your back, and is never leaving your side.

Arcee (+ Jack)

She's sooo protective of you. Seeing you as part of her extended family, along with the other humans, she is fiercely protective when it comes to you. She'll go above and beyond to ensure of your safety and well-being. The last thing she'd want is for you to be in pain, let lose you.

Being the smallest of the team has its perks! With her size being the closest to a human, Arcee can easily fetch you your aids and medications whenever you need it. Just say the word, and she'll speed off to get your desired item (and you might not even need to say the word, it's like she already knows it by instinct).

She'd be really good at giving advice. Honest and firm, yet reassuring and gentle.

"You're doing awesome. Keep up the good work." She'd say to you after you've done even the smallest of achievements. Had your breakfast? Well done! Drank water? Good job! Took time to rest? Amazing!

She's the greatest at hyping you up. "You can do this. You're unstoppable!"

She isn't usually one for physical affection, but she enjoys just.. being present with you. You'll have her sitting by you or silently supervising you.

Jack also is frequently concerned about you. Not to the point where he is a constant worrywart, but he does care. You'll get a "How are you doing?" or something along the lines of that from time to time.

Arcee is a mama bear. Anything or anyone trying to hurt you? They're as good as scrap. Speaking of mamas...

Jack's mom? Every time June visits, she always wants to check up on you. She brings in monthly care packages specially made for you, filled with snacks, medications and supplements! Jack was a little embarrassed at first when she started giving those to you, and with her coddling you, but he's gotten used to it. As long as you're okay and cared for, he's okay too.

Bumblebee (+ Raf)

Bumblebee was initially quite concerned about you. This was the first time that he's ever heard of humans being ill long-term. And the fact they have to go through so much? It makes him feel bad.

He's very clingy and caring to you! He likes spending quality time with you, and he may invite you to fun drives out with Raf! That is, of course if you are physically able to. If not, then maybe a video game or movie will do.

Bee joyfully beeps at you in greeting. "Bee's happy to see you! He's asking how you've been." Raf helps to translate.

Bumblebee is your source of emotional support and comfort. He really does love and cherish you, and is super affectionate!! He wants to make sure you're happy as often as possible.

Headrubs, hugs, a hand- or rather, a finger on your shoulder, holding you- all of it is a must!

During dark days, he's always there to provide support for you. Vocal comfort isn't exactly the best option for consoling, so physical comfort is the next best thing for him to bring you comfort. Hugs, nuzzles, pats, anything to give you those warm and fuzzy feelings.

He may not be able to voice his love for you properly, but he certainly can and will express it with whatever way he can to make sure you are constantly loved by him, regardless if you have you have your illness or not!

Bulkhead (+ Miko)

Bulkhead treats you as if you were made of glass (not like he does it with the other kids). Extremely gentle and careful. He's a gentle giant to the core.

He also asks a lot of questions to know how your illness works and what you may need.

Miko likes cracking up jokes or offer to watch movies and/or play games in order to make you happy.

In all honesty, she isn't very confident in comforting others verbally, despite her talkative and outgoing personality. But Miko still wants to give support whenever you need it!

Cuddle pile!! Bulkhead and Miko will set up a cozy little area for all three of you to just relax, filled to the brim with blankets, pillows and snacks. You and Miko will be resting against both sides of Bulk, while his servos gently hold both of you, acting as a warm, secure blanket for you two.

Your smile never fails to make him smile as well. "Aww, well aren't you just precious. Glad to know you're feeling happy."

Seeing you in pain, whether it be physical or mental, also never fails to stab him with a pang of sorrow. Immediately comes to your side to comfort you. "Hey, hey. It's gonna be alright. Here, lean on me."

Bulkhead is always there to lend a hand- or servo, whenever you are in need of it. If you just want to spend time with him for a while or cry your feelings out, he'll pat your back reassuringly with kind words.

thanks so much for reading! feel free to request something if you'd like. you can request for more disabled/chronic illness related stuff, too!! ^_^ i'd be happy to write for it, and i'll do it to the best of my efforts. INTERACTIONS/REBLOGS HIGHLY APPRECIATED!!!! i worked hard on this

[genderkoolaid]

i'm venting, so feel free to ignore this- idk how to explain what i mean all that well so forgive me if this is a Mess. I'm really tired of people telling me to just keep living out of spite. Or that I have to keep living because me 'living' is a act of resistance. It just makes me feel so tired. and Mad. I lack the words to really explain it but i just. Why do I have to keep going on spite? Why does my existence have to be a act of resistance or be politicized? I don't want to keep Living out of spite or because people say i have to. I think its mostly because I'm just exhausted and I think I'm burned out and Tired of being told i need to survive off of spite, or being told i just need to keep going because i have to. sorry for dumping this in ur ask. stuff is just hard n idk if you or anyone else gets what i mean.

This is a very understandable way to feel! I'm also not super into "living out of spite" myself. I'm glad it works for many people (being alive is good!), but it can get tiring when that is the dominant advice you are receiving and you know it's not gonna work for you. Idk if this is part of your experience but I know as a chronically suicidal person, it can also get exhausting constantly being reminded (sometimes in ways that feel condescending) that you are expected to want to live and if you don't want to live, that's Bad and you must Correct Yourself.

If you want an alternative perspective to chew on, here's my personal outlook:

Having the chance to be alive is good. Being alive is a complex experience, but one that enriches the universe, and that matters a lot to me spiritually. There is only one you, with your unique body and experiences and thoughts and choices. Death is inevitable, so when possible we should try to spend as much time as we can living our lives, adding to the cosmos, trying our bests to have a good time.

Its a fucked up time ahead, and it's fucked up time now. Life was never going to be free of suffering, and it's a pointless tragedy that people cause all this extra suffering on top it.

But the time will pass anyways. We have the chance to be alive right now, and all we can do is keep going. It's not an act of resistance, it's just accepting the presence of your right to existence, and making us of it.

Gonna once again reference Alexandre Baril's concept of suicidism (the oppression of suicidal people) and mention that while I think it's very respectable to try and give people reasons not to die– it's the last decision you can ever make, and it shouldn't be done lightly– oftentimes people end up reinforcing the idea of people who died by their own choice as, in some way, failures. I don't think this is fair. I'm not going to begrudge anyone the choice of when they want to stop living. I don't think anyone is obligated to live until they are forced to stop. I don't think any oppressed person who had died by suicide has "let their oppressors win."

Give yourself space to feel however you need to about your life. It's alright to feel tired of living; that's entirely understandable. Your relationship with your life is your own and it does not need to be justified to anyone.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

I would be curious to hear your thoughts on Feferi through the classpect lens and being a witch of life?

yayyyy i get to talk about my favorite Mean Girl!!!

Witches are mercurial, temperamental, and start the game with some "outsider" status to society, meaning they've bypassed the usual rules of common sense and morality/ethics. Feferi is an heiress who lives all alone at the bottom of the sea (it's implied that others are too scared to get close because of Gl'bgolyb, including Eridan, who refuses to go underwater), Jade lived on an island and was practically raised by her demon dog, and Damara was an immigrant from East Beforus who presumably spent a lot of time hanging out with the Lost Weeaboos as their leader's GF.

As such, they tend to leave their sense of morality up to their emotions - what the Witch deems good is good, what the Witch deems bad is bad. Jade was considered by the beta trolls to be the primary cause of Bec Noir's creation, as from their point of view, she was a dangerous maverick who basically just took direction from the clouds of Skaia without questioning any of their directives, and Damara starts wishing to serve LE because she just wants her teammates to suffer (understandably) - a wish it turns out she would regret on Alternia, where she legitimately attempted suicide to get out from Doc Scratch's control.

This also leaves them fairly gullible and vulnerable to control by evil entities and poor sociopolitical beliefs, just because they're pleasant or easy. Jade is remarkably nicer to Tavros than Eridan, letting Tavros down easily and gently despite the fact that he literally just admitted to killing her grandpa, and demanding her romantic affection as a prize for his confidence and heroic gesture, whereas Eridan not only donated to her his legendary rifle as a gesture of kindness and goodwill, but also asked her about something that was bothering her and earnestly shared information about his own race when asked - because Tavros was "nice" to her, and Eridan was a rude jackass. If you look at what's happening objectively in those conversations, Jade honestly doesn't look good:

tavros: so i used bec to save your life and kill your grandpa, not understanding that that was a family member and not a threatening adult to you. i did this because heroic actions and self confidence get returned with romantic affection. i'm owed yours now! jade: well... i think it's good that you're confident, but i'm sorry, i don't really return your affections! let's try becoming friends first, okay?

eridan: so i don't really need my rifle anymore but i noticed that you use them, so you can have mine for free, it's super powerful and a family heirloom. jade: stfu asshole i hate you and i hate your shitty rifle. i'm going to throw this in the trash. explode

Damara is also remarkably kind to Rufioh, offering him genuine romantic advice, even though he really doesn't deserve it, pretty much purely because he can speak her language - her bar is so low that that's enough "kindness" to earn a regular conversation from her. She should've been allowed to kill him twenty times

Life players, meanwhile, are defined by optimism, stubbornness, and a sense of "normalcy". They're very normal people; Hussie notes this explicitly in the book commentary. They're just kind of stable, normal guys! They look on the bright side, and tend to ignore the downers, which, unfortunately, can include people who are in dire straits. Jane remains stubbornly skeptical of Roxy and Dirk's claims of being from the future and of Crockercorp being evil, and Meenah refuses to listen (at times seeming physically incapable of listening) when people tell her that it's not possible to just kill the invincible demon with unconditional immortality. She idolizes the Condesce, pretty much never acknowledging any wrongdoing on her part (except when Cronus calls her out lol), and doesn't give a fuck what anyone else thinks of her - to the detriment of the team.

Put these together and you get Feferi. She's kind of just a really normal girl, whose emotions define her view of morality and ethics... and that means that, while it's really awful that everyone murders each other all the time, casteism is actually great because being a princess is awesome.

CC: GLUUUUB oh fine. CC: I will suspend my neato quirk just for you. CC: I hereby renounce the royal mark of sea dweller supremacy in the interest of INT-ERSP-ECI-ES DIPLOMACY. [...] CC: Okay, you win. I have officially humbled myself before you. Entirely glubbing peasant-IFICATED for your pleasure. CC: Shall I clip my fins for you as well, your majesty? [...] CC: Hey! We're the aristocracy. We've got a duty to be weird.

Also she loves slurs. Despite how little dialogue she has, she says the R slur like 2 times? And also says this to Jade:

CC: PSH WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT, MISS HORNLESS MCFINLESS.

where have we heard that term before... oh yeah!

ERIDAN: hey finless this doesnt concern those wwith mustard sludge slippin through their vveins

Because, like... being a princess rules. It's so fun, and great, and awesome, and Feferi has such a great time, so who cares if casteism still exists, right? Because Feferi's having a good time with it! We just need to PAMPER those cute, helpless little lowbloods, instead of kill them! That's the ticket!

Witches change their world to suit their wishes, the core of their ability to "change" their Aspect. As the ruler of Beforus, Feferi created a world that suited her ideals exactly - the ultimate nanny state, the perfect realm... for Feferi! And for very few besides herself.

Obviously, if she's been set up as this casteist, then her full actualization and character development is about learning that casteism is Bad, and that a truly good society means giving up many of the privileges she's enjoyed, tying in with the Witch character arc of needing to learn to see beyond themselves and their own feelings about the world. Thus, I think it's very important that the hemocaste is tied directly to lifespan, and it's why the trolls kind of can't have a happy ending if Feferi doesn't survive to the end AND complete her character arc: as long as coolbloods live longer than warmbloods, casteism is an inevitable outcome, as coolbloods amass power with their vastly longer lives.

Witches manipulate their Aspect, changing it directly. A Witch of Life, with its control over not just life and healing, but over biological and genetic properties (as it's implied the Condy's genetic experiments resulting in her ability to use every caste's psionics is an expression of her Thief of Life abilities) is pretty much the ideal classpect for equalizing troll lifespans and psionic abilities - in fact, given that it's implied that Feferi can't revive people like Jane can, it's very likely that Jane can't equalize lifespans like Feferi can.

But doing so would mean renouncing the very concept of a throne, of the society she wanted to build, and the privileges of royalty she's enjoyed so greatly. And that's beautiful. And also why she should hate date Nepeta, the anti-casteism troll -

[theaskscenter]

Mother I am officially sick of these people thinking we're in Malèna or something and sometimes the laughs makes me question myself when I'm having a bad mood yes I'm not embarrassed to say that .

Since I was a teenager,I always seemed to get attention no matter how basic and low confident I was inside and every body I get out with starts talking about how I almost broke everyone's head and how girls look pissed off but I didn't get it that much ... People scared me

I became confident and more into my looks bc I'm in the beginning of my twenties blah blah but it started to provoke people more especially women which always made it hard for me to have friends or real ones only when I was a people pleaser loser in school.and whenever I visit a doctor or something they think I've a big position here or that I'm a rich girl whose feet never touched the ground . *Had to mention this so you know how far it is going* the bad effect that it also went to the point where they'd start to belittle me by laughing or literally hitting me hard on the shoulders or pushing where there's no one around. I once got hit very hard by this woman I almost felt like my shoulder got broken for days. No exaggeration ~ and yes Ik when it's on purpose. None of them apologized.I'm autistic and I can't even bear that anymore but who doesn't love attention? I want to make it work to my advantage because having that much of a strong presence seems to be my ultimate power what's your advice on that ? I gave up on having friends for now too and I saw that matching my energy to what I appear to be -cocky and all that- is the solution especially while living in a small town, looking pissed off and a total bitch makes them shrink because why would a confident woman behave like that? This much attention bc of the way I walk scares me when I get home and my mind starts playing all that but my major and everything I'm into literally requires that energy and that strong presence and I need to know how to handle it(?)so ai can win . I deserve big and better places and my energy seems to be my golden spoon idc . I got a bit -maybe- paranoid to the point that I now I'm worried about how jealous ppl with strong positions would try to bring me down bc of this too so I really should know how to handle such people bc I don't only have it all but I'm super creative and have a unique mindset that also provokes basic people like them cause damn I'm no Malèna I've angel issues *anger*

First, I think I've said this so much that its beginning to sound cliche and losing its power- women don't like each other. Women hate each other. And its not even personal its socialization and mostly evolution. That girl's girl bs is just that, bs. IF women don't hate you its because you are ugly and not competition. If everyone likes you its because you are harmless. Feminine nature is competitive. Intercompetitive. Think 3 million years ago, what it was like to be female, you'll see its a necessity. When girls don't like you that's normal. Social media sells girl's girl so much you're just ugly and useless. The same way no one is fighting a child. The easiest place to see this is pop culture. For women, beauty is power. Men thrive in community thats why they defend each other like that they needed to be in a pack to hunt. Women have, since the beginning of humanity, needed isolation and power to survive. So while men hype each other up for being rich (For men money is power) women tear each other down for being pretty. Its just how things are fish swim birds fly yada yada all that.

Again. Look at the world around you and think. At least try. See how things work so you don't suffer for nothing.

Second. God, I love you. I love it when people ask the right questions instead of acting like my inbox is a church confessional and I'm selling good nice girl propaganda. I had to read this 3 times to make sure you are asking what I thought you are and yes you are. Made my sunday. I love hot girls amen. Welcome to my page and my space.

SO. HOW TO USE YOUR BEAUTY I can't tell you that because it depends on what kind of pretty you are. Your energy has to be complimented by your looks they have to go hand in hand. If you are the queen energy mysterious pretty like will Lori Harvey you should take the soft power mystery route everything else will be fake. If you are the babyface Tyla Jang wonyoung Selena Gomez pretty you have to take the nice girl pretty BUT people will try to walk all over you so instead of Hailey Baldwin soft power you have to take the Selena Gomez soft power. You have to weaponize your 'innocence'. If you are bad bitch pretty like Rihanna is you HAVE to take the big energy I'm the highest in this room and you peasants bore me path. Like Nicki Minaj does it. The strong outward power. If you have the kind of beauty that's contained like Kendall Jenner or Anok Yai you have to take the I'll mind my business and you'll also mind my business route.

I can't tell you what to do with it because I don't know it. And no I'm not turning the attachment feature for my asks on figure it out. What I can tell you is, for women beauty is power. Whether you use it or its used against you is up to you, but one way or the other it will be wielded by someone against another.

Did I mention that I like you?

Also on the topic, why is it important to you that people like you? Ladies I've said this before, if they don't pay your bills they don't matter. Like, if they did like you, then what? Would you sign a billion dollar deal? Now that they don't like you are you dead? Literally what have you lost that you can't live without? Human approval is so fickle and people don't matter that much. Also, and most importantly- do YOU like them??? Then who cares that they don't like you? This way of thinking is so weird to me I'd get it if they paid your bills but do they? Who even are they that this matters?

Also consider just being a bully to your bullies but don't go to jail.

[buriedpentacles]

Please do a post about working with Extinct Spirits!!

🫡 right away!

Working with Extinct Nature Spirits

So, the general basis for working with extinct nature spirits is not all that different from extant nature spirits (here's my more detailed post on Working with Nature Spirits for those interested); do your research, provide offerings and be clear of your expectations, communicate clearly and respect their response.

There are a few major points that I want to cover specifically for extinct species:

Research

Communication

Trust

The best advice I can give though is to just try it! Be sensible and safe, but give it a go! The best teachers for spirit work are spirits themselves.

Research

Depending on what spirit you're wanting to work with, information on them might be quite sparse or highly debated, and there may be no folklore related research available!

Focus on what you can find - learn what you can about their ecology, diet, behaviour etc! Read scientific articles on their proposed colour pigmentation or theories of their communal living. Take all this information as a foundation to help you build the relationship and build your own understanding of their spirit and correspondences!

It is important to note, however, that the spirit may go against something your research suggests, and that's why its best to have open and exploratory conversations for them if you feel comfortable!!

Research suggests they ate fruit? Try that as an offering and see the response. An article indicates they spent a lot of time in the water but they seem to manifest most strongly when you do workings with a strong air correspondence? Trust the spirit's taste and lean into the air symbolism.

Trust

This is especially important for species whose extinction was caused or impacted by humans.

A lot of extinct spirits need more time to trust and engage with practitioners, whether this is because they're simply not used to human contact or because humans have hurt them in the past.

Its important to give these spirits time and space to get used to you - think of it like trying to get a feral cat to trust you. You spend your time giving food sitting near them, you might offer your hand every now and then, they might bite or run away a few times at first, but eventually they'll rub their head against your leg and yell for more food.

If a spirit's extinction was directly tied to humans (such as dodo's or western black rhino's), you need to be prepared to hear "no". They may not want anything to do with you. If they do, ensure that you give them time and acknowledge the suffering humans have caused - don't ignore it.

My personal way of doing this involves providing multiple offerings over a period of time, without asking anything in return, and inviting them to my space so they can get to know me and my energy without having to communicate or feeling cornered.

Communication

This is especially important with older spirits (paleo spirits, dinosaurs, cambrian species etc - the older the spirit, the more 'primal' the communication can feel).

In my experience, older spirits tend to have more "primitive" forms of communication, and this is not a bad thing though it can be jarring!

When I've worked with paleo spirits, communication has been much more direct and emotive than verbal. I get a sense of what they're trying to communicate, more like an instinct than a sentence (I also experience this with spirits that rarely interact with humans, such as deep sea species).

As with all spirit work - take some time to adjust to how that particular spirit prefers to communicate and figure out what works best for you both and your relationship.

Other Tips and Experiences

If you've worked with extant nature spirits or have a relationship with a nature spirit, it can help to have them "make introductions" between you and the extinct spirit you want to work with!

Always be prepared to hear the word no and back off.

In my experience, extinct species that were hunted by humans are more likely to push boundaries and be aggressive than extant species, be prepared for this and know your limits.

Therapod Dinosaur spirits seem to be very curious and really like being offered creative projects - especially art of themselves!

Linking back to the first point, bird spirits make for excellent mediators for dinosaur spirits because, well, they are dinosaurs.

Cambrian spirits really like bright colours for some reason

Older spirits, especially ones not used to spirit work, can require a lot of rest and time away - give them this time if they need it

[theambitiouswoman]

hi! i hope you're well :) ♡

sorry if you made a post on this already and if you have, pls could you direct me to it but i wanted to ask if you have any advice for lowering cortisol levels? i have a feeling mine is high as my periods are irregular, i have lots of sugar cravings and i also suffer from hormonal acne

thank you in advance! :)

Hi beautiful,

I don't think I have actually, but before I even start I want to recommend (if you haven't already) you get tested to see if your cortisol levels are consistently above levels or if maybe it is something else causing these side effects

Our cortisol levels do fluctuate throughout the day and for many people, cortisol levels can remain elevated chronically due to constant stress, lifestyle factors, underlying health conditions. Your side effects could definitely be a result of cortisol being high, so lets get into how to manage

This is not medical advice :)

Lifestyle Tips for Lowering Cortisol

Quality sleep 7-9 hrs

Morning sun for 10-30 mins

Walking, yoga, pilates

Breathing and meditation

Balanced whole meals

Staying hydrated

Taking baths

Limit screen time at least 1 hour before bed

No blue light before bed

Don't overcommit

Gratitude

Structure your day with a schedule and a routine

Use aromatherapy

Listen to frequency, classical or ambient music

Avoid too many stimulants like a lot of caffeine or nicotine

Supplements for Cortisol

Ashwagandha: Reduces cortisol by 30-40%

Magnesium: Lowers cortisol by 20-30%

Rhodiola: Reduces cortisol by 20-30% during stress

L-Theanine: Lowers cortisol by 10-20% in stressful situations

Vitamin C: Reduces cortisol by 10-15%

Probiotics: Support hormonal balance over time (10-15% reduction)

Omega-3 Fatty Acids: Reduces cortisol by 10-15%

B-Vitamins: Can lower cortisol by 10-20%

Holy Basil: Reduces cortisol by 10-20%

GABA: Lowers cortisol by 10-15%

Foods to Lower Cortisol

Dark Chocolate (70%+): Reduces cortisol by 10-15%

Avocados: Lower cortisol by 10-15%

Leafy Greens: Reduce cortisol by 15-20%

Fatty Fish: Omega-3s lower cortisol by 10-15%

Berries: Lower cortisol by 10-20%

Oats & Whole Grains: Stabilize blood sugar and reduce cortisol by 10-15%

Nuts & Seeds: Reduces cortisol by 10-15%

Turmeric: Lowers cortisol by 10-15%

Bananas: Help reduce cortisol by 10-15%

Herbal Teas: Chamomile, lavender, and lemon balm reduce cortisol by 10-20%

Greek Yogurt: Lowers cortisol by 5-10%

Coconut Water: Reduces cortisol by 5-10%

Cinnamon: Stabilizes blood sugar, reducing cortisol by 5-10%

Garlic: Reduces cortisol by 10-15%

[cripplecharacters]

This isn't my character, but I was playing a game where a character is physically disabled and using a wheelchair. She got into a car crash and suffered from nerve damage, resulting in both of her legs being paralysed. Her doctor told her she could walk again if she underwent a rehabilitation program, but she refused.

Prior to her car crash, she had lost her best friend, and had attempted to bury her grief in her work, becoming more demanding and difficult, which resulted in her co-workers disliking her attitude. The car crash that left her disabled was caused by her running over a red light in the middle of her stress and frustration.

After the accident, she reflected on herself and worked on becoming a better and more reasonable person to work with. Hence, the reason of her decision to refuse rehabilitation is to have her loss of her legs to serve as an anchor to remind herself not to lose herself in her own world and to neglect the feelings of the people around her.

It has been written that her disability doesn't affect her career (she's a film director), and she's still a successful person when we're introduced to her.

Still, I wanted to ask if having a character refuse rehabilitation for their disability a bad writing choice? And if a character wanting to stay disabled to remind themselves of an important life experience harmful to the disabled community in any way?

Hello!

I'm not familiar with the game you're referring to but from the sound of it, it seems to be falling into the Disability as Punishment trope.

The issue isn't necessarily with the character declining rehabilitation. Disabled people decline treatment options all the time for a variety of reasons. Maybe they aren't comfortable with the risks or side effects of the treatment, maybe the treatment process isn't feasible for their lifestyle, maybe they've tried other options and just don't want to keep going with it.

The problem with this case is the context around why the character declines the treatment/rehabilitation. We've talked a lot about the Disability as Punishment trope in the past (you can find some of these posts by scrolling through the #disability as punishment tag).

I'm hesitant to speak more about this specific case for a few reasons. The first is that, as mentioned, I'm unfamiliar with the source media and I don't know anything about the context besides what you've mentioned. Without knowing the full story, I can't tell you if it's a "bad" writing choice or not. The other reason is that we're a blog for writing advice -- not media reviews -- and I'd like to keep this as on topic as possible.

That said, there are a few things to consider if you want to make similar writing choices in your own work.

The first is what kind of message you may be sending, either intentionally or unintentionally. Is disability being portrayed as a "fair punishment" for the character's actions or is their decision something that is shown as being fueled by their grief? Does their decision end up changing at all or do they feel any regret about their decision?

I think this kind of thing (a character declining rehabilitation because they want to remind themself to be better) has potential to work in stories dealing with growth, acceptance, and grief but I'd be skeptical if it's just something in the background that's never addressed.

It's also worth exploring why the character would make this rather drastic decision. It feels odd to me that somebody would make this decision simply to "remind themself" not to do something and punish themself for doing it in the first place.

It feels very trivializing to those of us that didn't get a choice in the matter.

But yeah, without knowing more about the context and the character, I can't say much about the media itself. I'd suggest taking a look through the Disability as Punishment tag, though. It has some helpful information and answers to similar asks.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

[drdemonprince]

doctor demon prince im in my 5th year of undergrad suffering from functional freeze and Cant Write Papers disease (subtype where i eventually write it 7 months later and its really good for how rushed it is). ive also been doing unmasking work and trying to make progress w my nervous system and my relationships, i still have a long way to go . im going to graduate eventually (who fucking knows when) but with a pretty shit gpa.

Anyway my question is why the fuck do i keep wanting to get a masters degree when i know this setting sucks real bad for me. i love 2 learn but either dont have a handle on my adhd/autistic workflow yet or simply dont have the combination of traits it takes to succeed in academia. and i have student loans. i probably wont be accepted to any masters programs anyway but i dont know what else to do !!!!!!!!!!! 🙃 seeing as this is the transgender autistic grad student website maybe u or some of ur followers have advice for me..... 🫶 ok thank u byeee

I'm sorry to have to say this, but why do you want to go to graduate school? It will drive you deeply into debt, cause you a huge amount of stress, subject you to a wildly inaccessible environment where student neurodivergences are often unfairly cast as signs of laziness and lack of academic potential, and, in a majority of fields, it doesn't lead to improved career prospects (typically, the equivalent amount of time spent working in your chosen profession will get you just as far, if not farther, than a graduate degree).

I don't recommend graduate school to almost anyone. Graduate school was a stigmatizing, exhausting, abusive, exploitative, traumatizing experience for me that left me profoundly socially isolated and physically sick, and trained me in an increasingly irrelevant and scientifically unsound field that basically does nothing but regurgitate neoliberal truisms back to the elites that already believe in them.

Some of the faults I've just listed don't apply to *every* academic field in the world -- but it does apply to most of them!

I think it's important for people to know that Master's degree programs are, by and large, created as a revenue source for universities. Undergraduate enrollment has hit a wall -- there's only so many more people who can go to college, in a world where college has become increasingly obligatory, college pays off professionally far less than it used to, and in times of low unemployment there's very little reason to go to school -- and so the possibility of growing undergraduate enrollment has become more and more thin. This means universities have been unable to turn growing profits for years. And that's what matters to them -- profits.

Left without the revenue source of more college students' tuitions, universities have turned toward courting repeat customers -- duping college graduates who are unhappy with their post-graduate career prospects by investing in even more school. In most Master's degree programs, there are very high fees, very limited financial aid, and very very limited mentorship (compared to, say PhD programs, where shepherding you through the program is at least an advisor's duty).

I've worked in higher ed administration for years now and I've seen how disposable Master's degree students are taken to be -- they're paying for a pricey credential and they get very little out of it, in the end -- in most programs, and most contexts. When we need to fill a budget gap, we create a new Master's program -- without regard for whether it is necessary, and without ever being able to prove it will aid our graduates in getting jobs, or even that the degree will fill a necessary niche.

You can feel free to write back to me if yours is a field where a master's degree is necessary or yields positive career outcomes for a great many people (social work and athletic training come to mind). But even still, I don't think you should subject yourself to a completely inaccessible environment that you are already struggling in and taking on more debt to do so. You deserve better than that. And 99% of graduate programs will not do right by you.

If you'd like to read more about just how exploitative graduate programs generally are, and why, I recommend Karen Kelsky's book The Professor is In, or her blog of the same name:

[asktheritochampion]

Dear Master Revali

Got any old timey cures for headaches from a century ago? My friend Sorali has got a really bad one from the Bird Flu and she tried to poke a hole in her skull with a live Bokoblin horn to release a pressure and surely that's um, not healthy. Or safe.

Asking in her place because she's... sworn vengeance and considers you to be her mortal enemy for some reason??????? Something to do with the Spring Festival????????

Please help I've hidden my stash of arrows and told Tulin to stay away from her because I'm pretty sure she wants to "get headshotted" next. Also please don't headshot her either for the mortal enemy thing, she's just an odd one. I'm sure she doesn't mean it.

-Rubee

Isn't that the flightless Rito who was causing mischief on Medoh? Why should I care in the slightest if she's suffering - that's karma for you.

Why on earth you're seeking my medical advice rather than simply visiting Saki is beyond me anyway. There's probably a very good reason why a lot of the medical proceedures from a hundred years ago have gone extinct in this day and age.

Actually, she was on the right track anyway. Trepanning was a method often used to treat migraines. Though a hairpin drill was usually used to puncture the holes and releive the pressure, not a bokoblin horn.

A few other methods the medic of the Village used to perform back then included; wrapping ones talons in a wet cloth filled with cut onions to draw out the evil spirits, applying leaches to the forehead to remove the bad blood, mixing up a paste of cow dung and molassas to apply to the temples to overwhelm the sinuses, wearing nine different beads on a necklace each blessed by a different diety to remove curses, drinking a tincture made with fermented wheat germ and bomb powder to ballence out your yellow and black biles, sitting in a bath of vinigar and sheeps blood to ward away evil spirits in your head, and swallowing a live mouse so that it can crawl up and eat any rott affecting your brain tissue.

I've only personally tried one or two. They do work - but not nearly as effectivelly as the magic pills Saki has that you drink with a glass of water and they just make pain go away.

[tree0frog]

hiya!! i was wondering if i could ask for rosie, lucifer, charlie, and angel with a teen reader who’s always very sweet, charismatic, and soft spoken, but suffers with a sad past:(

it’s a wonder to everyone why she’s in hell in the first place, she never talks about her life back when she was alive

one day *character* walks in on reader having a ptsd induced panic attack, once reader calms down, for the first time ever she opens up about her past life. her dad abandoned her at a young age, her mom committed suicide, then the man who adopted her when she was 13 just abused her and pimped her out to his friends until she killed him n ran away for the sake of her own survival which was the sin that landed her in hell:/ something additional is the panic attacked being caused because reader ran into her abuser, even in death she can’t escape him.

also all characters have a platonic relationship with reader ofc, rosies like a mom, charlie and angel are like a big brother and sister, and lucifer is an eventual dad figure, reader being the one who changes his mind abt sinners

p.s this isn’t based on irl or anything (thank god) it’s just kinda an oc request but i understand if it still makes u uncomfy that rlly isn’t my intention:(

hi so sorry this took so long i wasn't sure how to write this so I do apologies if this is wrong by any means!!

tw~hell breaks down blood swearing self-harm Abuice

You were the youngest siner within the hotel it sadden some of them{mainly Charlie} that you were down here so young, the group had learned that you didn't want to talk about why you ended in hell and respected it.

that was until

Charlie

now i see charlie as someone who as much as she wanted to help you can be she will end up crying along beside you even if you don't know why she is crying she is.

loves hugs as a form of comfort but will understand that sometimes they can be too much for you and will settle for just sitting beside you if you let her.

She will play music if you write to her.

and will help you clean up any mess that you may of made from yourself or by slowly messing up your room.

is a good listener and will let you draw or write how you are felling if you are not up for talking.

Rosie

omg she is the best out of them all!!

if you have hurt yourself before when you are having an episode she will sit with you and hold your hands or remove anything that she thinks you could use to hurt yourself or someone else away from your reach.

will give you tea and let me tell you she makes the best tea.

she will play classical music to calm the vibe down and tell you it's alright and not your fault.

the best advice you will ever get is from this lady trust me.

she would kill for you and you know that.

Angle

i feel like he would go two ways

one leave you alone and go work out how to talk to a crying kid

or OR he would pick you up and give you the best hugs and tell you its ok

now I fell like out of everyone he would make you fell the most better about the other sinners as he isn't hell-born like the others you know.

best comfort

he knows what it's like to deal with shitty people and knows a little of what you're going though

he seems himself in you.

will let you cuddle him until you fall asleep

and will let you sleep over on those harder nights.

Lucifer

ohoho the big man well let me just say one word

DUCKS!!!!!!!!

he will make you a duck every time you are having a hard time or just cos he can you know

if he finds out your mother is in hell we she would of wished the angles got to her first

and see you as his second child.

he will let you put his hat on

if you end up hurting yourself he will kiss each cut, bump, bruise or scrap better.

will play the violin and sing you to sleep.