#..so i may have forgotten that i made a second version of these

[windyengel]

WIP WEDNESDAY

Tim died, and Death received him in black.

Not the inky black of velvet, nor the warm hush of midnight. No, this was the absolute stillness of shadow made solid—black Ice that bled frostbite and silence, stretching endlessly in every direction. Cold air clung to his skin like regret. When Tim opened his eyes, the first thing he felt wasn’t pain.

It was absence.

He lay on a frozen floor, the ground slick with frost, his breath fogging faintly before him. His body ached—not with injury, but with memory. Every weight he’d carried in life seemed to have followed him here, pressing down on his chest like unfinished words.

The chamber around him was cathedral-like in height, carved entirely from obsidian and black Ice. Pale blue light shimmered from high crevices, casting no warmth. Sitting directly ahead of him, raised on a jagged throne of polished darkness, was a figure cloaked in shadow and power.

A crown of blue fire flickered atop his head, casting dancing light across his inhuman form. His face was obscured, save for two glowing green eyes—luminescent, ancient, and quietly watchful.

"You died," the figure declared, voice echoing like thunder in snow. It held no malice. No judgment. Just a terrible, cosmic certainty. "But you are lucky. The spirit of Gotham has intervened on your behalf. You are granted a choice."

Tim blinked, lips chapped, arms wrapped around himself. The cold didn't bother him as much as the clarity of the moment.

"You may return to your city—not to your body, but to become one of its spirits. You’ll keep your memories, defend your family, and haunt the place you bled for."

A beat. Those glowing eyes never left him.

"Or," the king continued, "you may pass into the next life. The true afterlife. Your memories will fade, but so too will your burdens. You will know peace."

The fire crackled as the final offer fell into the void.

"Or you may become one of my denizens—creatures of shadow and liminal space. You will forget your name and past, but walk again among the living in other forms."

Tim didn’t move.

Silence stretched, hollow and endless. Then, after what felt like an eternity, he exhaled—a sound too tired to be a sigh.

"...Can I choose neither?"

The king tilted his head, flame crown flickering.

"What do you mean?"

Tim stared down at his hands, pale and ghostlike. His voice cracked.

"I just... I don't want any of it. I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to go forward. I don’t want to become something else." He swallowed. "I just want to fade away."

The figure on the throne blinked.

"...What?" The word was startled. Off-balance. "Why? No one has ever asked that. Not even the damned."

Tim lifted his gaze, eyes glassy.

"Because I’m tired. I spent my whole life—every day—trying to be someone for someone else. A replacement. A soldier. A detective. A good son. A good friend. A perfect something."

His breathing hitched. He clutched at his ribs, where the ache of loss lived like a parasite.

"I tried so hard to be kind. To be useful. To be... seen. And in the end, none of it mattered. I died, and no one noticed. No one called. I was always someone’s backup plan. Someone's second."

Tears slipped down his cheeks, warm in the icy stillness.

"I don’t want to come back. I don’t want to be another version of someone else. I just want to stop existing. I want to be forgotten."

And then the sobs began.

Not the tight, controlled kind he’d always allowed himself—no, these were broken, animal cries. Grief carved him open from the inside out. All the words he’d never said, all the pain he’d swallowed, came spilling out in gasping breaths and muffled wails.

He crumbled to his knees.

And the King of the Dead—this ancient, terrifying thing crowned in flame—stood swiftly, the fire dimming slightly as he descended from his throne.

He moved with the care of someone used to being feared—and now trying not to be.

He knelt beside Tim, and without a word, wrapped his arms around him.

Not like a monarch. Not like a god.

Like someone who had once cried the same way.

The cloak enveloped him, and for the first time in years—alive or dead—Tim didn’t flinch from a touch. He didn’t pull away from warmth. He clung. Clung to this stranger in fire and Ice like a drowning man clings to the shore.

And the King held him as Tim shattered. As he sobbed out the loneliness that had slowly killed him. As he wept for all the versions of himself that had never been enough.

[chrysanthemumgames]

Chapter Ten and the Epilogue are out!

Hey everyone!

This announcement is basically just what it says on the tin. You can now play the last part of the game. Here's the link if you don't have it handy.

I don't think there are any particular content warnings for this one other than Zeus existing, but my brain is kind of scrambled eggs right now, so if I've forgotten something, please let me know.

I feel like I should have some thoughts here about actually being finished with the game, but either because of the brain-eggs thing or because I still have a lot of editing to do, it's hard to think of myself as done.

Just a few things I've been getting questions about clarified in one place:

FoA's first draft will remain where it is, as it is, complete and free, until I submit the edited version for publication. I estimate this will be about three months, (so until March 1, 2024), but can't say that for sure.

The second draft will bring about substantive changes both from a game design standpoint (various systems) and a character standpoint (some pacing things are going to change, particularly with the romances that probably should be a little bit faster paced than they are. A smidge.)

I may or may not be doing a closed beta test for the second draft. That's not me being coy, that's me genuinely not knowing if I will.

There will be one sequel. I will begin working on it immediately after FoA is submitted for publication.

If you want to follow the editing process, I will probably be summarizing my progress monthly here, but I will be going into much more detail and previewing the edits on my Patreon. No pressure ever; that's just an option if you'd like to see more or support me as I go.

Thank you, everyone, for your support, critiques, and suggestions. They've already made FoA a much better game than it would have been without you, and I'm looking forward to getting the chance to take more of them on board as I move through this next part of things.

I hope you enjoy.

[everwalldigan]

How id judge you based on your favourite FANON version of the batfamily characters

Bruce Wayne: as a self proclaimed Bruce Wayne connoisseur and lover of him in all his forms… this is the fairest one to like out of all of them. My guilty pleasure is treating myself to happy fanon fics after seeing him tortured murdered and revived again strapped to an explosive device attacked by banana man, tied up, roundhouse trip to hell, broken up with his 50th situationship that just tried to k him and lastly like a cherry on top of this shit sundae, made to give his kids a knuckle sandwich for dinner for. Whatever godforsaken reason. so yeah. I get this one. Although this good dad characterisation of him is found especially abundantly in pre crisis comics…just saying…

Dick Grayson: oh brother don’t get me started. DONT GET ME STARTED. Easily top 3 worst fanon characterisations for me. If I have to read “dick is so eldest daughter coded” I might just take my toaster out for a walk to the nearest bridge. Another case of an upbeat and quippy character being reduced to a drooling happy little sunshine baby with no thoughts behind his eyes. Either that or he’s Satan personified who threw poor little timmy in Arkham and only visits him occasionally to spit on him and then leave with his evil precious little baby Damian. (Do you see the common denominator in these yet) And the worst part is? The worst part is? The happy airhead characterisation has been made. CANON. Thank god it’s over but AT WHAT COST??? AT WHAT COST??? IM BLAMING EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU FOR NOTHING BUTT NIGHTWING I HOPE YOURE HAPPY WITH YOURSELVES.

Jason Todd: both spectrums of how he’s portrayed are equally as horrible. Why must we have either the brutish headless chicken needlessly violent (cough. Arguably classist) portrayal or the uwu🥺🥺 everyone hates me🥺🥺 for absolutely NO reason at all🥺🥺 I need to adopt baby Timmy🥺🥺 to make up for my crimes🥺🥺 portrayal. May I introduce something called the middle ground. You don’t need to operate in extremes pookie, people usually have more than one character trait it’s alright🩷. i need fanon Jason to be banned from titans tower. And the colour green. As a whole. No green for him. And also from the “enemy to caretaker” tag. Free him. Although with this one his canon portrayal is sometimes (a lot of times) on par with the fanon in terms of horrible characterisation… so if his fanon characterisation is your fav… well its not like canon gets a gold star from me either so. Go ahead. I guess. Just stop with the classism and we don’t have an issue🩷

Barbara Gordon: worst offence I’ve seen is making her Bruce’s daughter as is often done with Steph. First of all she has a father. An alive father. Who loves her and started a whole war for her. Second of all. If you told her she’s Batmans daughter she’s throwing herself into the Gotham harbour. Please stop. And the usual making her an accessory to a Batboy and stripping her of everything interesting just to make her Nightwings airheaded girlfriend. Then again. That’s also been canonised thanks to my FAVOURITE author (sarcasm) T*m T*ylor so. As you can see we are not doing well and haven’t been since they made her batgirl again. Burn the burnside suit. Ironically the women have mostly been able to avoid especially egregious mischaracterisations (apart from making them two dimensional flavourless paper cutouts) through the fandoms misogyny um I mean DISINTEREST in them, considering that Cass, Steph and Barbara COMBINED have less than 1/5 fics under their character centric tags than Tim Drake so. Ironically by being forgotten they could escape the fate of being so grossly mischaracterised they are virtually unrecognisable. With the price of being mentioned once and tossed aside in favour of centring The Batboys. Go figure

Cassandra Cain: …really? You actually LIKE what they’ve done to her in fanon? My beautiful ruthlessly honest hilarious without even trying babygirl princess… she’s been ending people verbally and physically the moment she could speak and they made her the quiet Asian girl stereotype… They took her wings… If you honestly like the version of Cass that’s a cardboard cutout bland boiled chicken version of herself and a lot of the time just lazily included for the sake of avoiding being labelled a misogynist… alright…😟 just know you’re missing out on peak that is canon Cass. Read batgirl 2000. Goody two shoes rule following Cass isn’t real she won’t hurt me

Tim Drake: this is undeniably the worst and most infamous one. Because his mischaracterisation in fanon doesn’t only affect him but. Every. Single. Person. Around him. If you genuinely like the way he’s characterised to make him the helpless noodle armed noodle legged victim of all the evil demons that surround him then… idk what to say other than please start reading comics. Please. One correctly selected storyline per character is enough. PLEASE. The way literally everyone I know hates his mischaracterisation in fanon, fans and haters alike. I could write entire essays on the damage that portrayal has done to the entire batfamily not just him. Idk how people managed to do it, it’s honestly an award worthy feat. Yeah if you like this one I can with full confidence say you do not like a single batfamily character but rather the caricature versions of them that evolved from satans asshole.

Damian Wayne: easily one of worst cases cause this one is sometimes so racist I feel like I’m looking at straight anti Arab propaganda post 9/11. What are we doing. I’ve seen people draw him in CAGES, say that “Jon tamed him” like he’s some kind of animal instead of a human being and the way #some of you villainised him when he whole ass traumatised 10 year old child is just. Wow. Comes on par with the previous persons characterisation because FOR SOME REASON… the worst portrayals of Damian are always paired with #him. Don’t even get me started on the portrayal of the other Al-ghuls. I think I might kill myself before we even finish

Stephanie brown: another case of mostly forgotten or just included for the sake of not being labelled a misogynist. I feel like out of everyone she’s lowkey has it the… I wouldn’t say best… but okayest in fanon. Apart from the usual making her A Batkids Keychain, two dimensionally stupid (as is the norm with any upbeat character😐 especially women😐) or… shudders in horror... Bruce’s daughter… I haven’t seen portrayals that are as blatantly offensive as some of the others on the list, though it could be that I was just spared those horrors by being lucky enough to not have encountered those dark corners of the fandom. Overall very tame though you’re very welcome to share your horror stories with her fanon portrayal because I am sure there are a lot. Her canon portrayal now is. Bad enough. Don’t even remind me of how they made her be towards Bernard and Tim cause I fear I will throw up. She should be allowed to throw stones at all of their heads as enrichment

Duke Thomas: same problem as Cass’. Being toned down to a two dimensional goody-two-shoes who follows all the rules like the innocent angel he is!! Totally not because people only include him to avoid being called racist and not make an effort to learn what he’s actually like so they default to the safest characterisation: nothing!!!! Man I love the way any character that’s not a white man is portrayed in fandoms!!! If you like this version of duke im confused on what you like exactly cause it’s so far removed from his canon characterisation it’s insane. Like the sheer bigotry in picking the most complex characters and making them two dimensional rule following goody two shoes to avoid GOD FORBID having to actually put them in your plots and portray them correctly just because they’re not white men is. Yeah. I’m tired of this. Then again the white men aren’t even portrayed correctly so nobody is having fun but AT LEAST THEYRE THERE!!!!

Alfred Pennyworth: listen. I’m not saying he doesn’t have his good moments where he’s a decent father/grandfather figure. but let’s not act like he’s this innocent faultless angel frail old man who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life and has been the best father figure in existence. He is NOT. I’m tired of all of you acting scandalised when someone dares to not like him for VERY good reasons. But I guess liking his fanon characterisation is comparatively not as bad as some of the others so. You get a pass

Kate Kane: I don’t think fanon even knows she exists so there isn’t much of a “fanon version” to like. Although Im sure she’s probably mischaracterised whenever someone shoehorns her cardboard cutout into their fics to fill their 25% women quota but it’s not as wide spread as say Cass or Steph’s mischaracterisations.

At least from what I’ve personally seen as this is a subjective opinion about the way Batman characters are often portrayed in fandom.

[iloveacaibowls111]

Convenient (Angst Vers.)

synopsis: life as sukuna’s forgotten wife, angsty but nothing changes. 

A/N: There’s originally two different versions that I wrote. One that ended as a fluff while this one ended as an angst. This one I like more so I thought to post this one :)

Moans filled your room, accompanied by the unmistakable sounds of skin meeting skin. It felt like something straight out of a sordid fantasy. But it wasn’t you beneath him, breathing hard and lost in passion. No. It was your husband and one of his concubines in the room directly across from yours. You threw a pillow over your head, trying to block out the sounds entirely. You knew he was doing this to get under your skin—retaliating because you’d made him angry, and this was his punishment.

“Ugh, shut up!” you hissed to yourself, fighting the urge to slam your fists against the chamber wall. But you knew he wouldn’t like that.

The girl’s moans grew louder, her voice rising to that high-pitched crescendo, no doubt to draw him further in. You couldn’t bear another second. Grabbing a silk robe, you wrapped it around yourself, messily braiding your hair into a plait. You slipped from your room, away from those sounds, thankful that your handmaiden had gone off to bed. Moving quickly, you slipped on your slippers and darted into the garden.

The moon cast its soft glow over the garden, illuminating the cherry blossoms nearly in full bloom, their pink petals dancing lightly in the breeze. The moment you stepped outside, your fury seemed to dissolve into the night air, replaced by a kind of quiet sadness. You settled onto a stone bench, letting the cool breeze brush against your skin. The noise from the next room had cost you any hope of rest, keeping you from the fragile peace you craved. Still, you refused to cry. Not for him. Not tonight.

He may have been the King of Curses, feared and renowned, but none of that mattered. He was your husband. Yours—not theirs. You were his only true wife, yet he paraded around with women who could never give him the loyalty or devotion you had. He always called you his own, his claim. But in truth, he was never really yours. As the first tear formed, you held it back. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Not anymore.

Your gaze drifted to the cherry blossoms swaying softly, as memories tugged you back to when he had first held your hand, back when you were his world, his queen, his confidante. When his touch sent thrills through you, and his voice was the balm to your every sorrow. But somewhere along the line, you became little more than a treasured relic to him: admired but neglected, a remnant of his affections.

A faint laugh escaped your lips, hollow and brittle. You looked at your hands, hands that had once ached to touch him, to pull him close when the world grew too cold. Now, they lay empty in your lap, unfamiliar even to you. The cherry blossoms above seemed to sway in pity, each petal drifting like fragments of lost hope.

“You were my everything,” you whispered into the night, your voice barely a breath. “And to you, I was… convenient.”

The words felt heavy and painful yet freeing, a truth spoken at last. Maybe they were real, maybe not, but in that moment, they felt like the only truth. You had loved a man who saw you as a possession. And even now, after everything, a part of you still ached for him, for the love that had once seemed so sure.

The chill of the night seeped into your bones, but the thought of returning inside filled you with dread. In that quiet garden, you felt both empty and whole, as if the solitude allowed you to remember who you were before him. Surrounded by cherry blossoms and moonlight, you found peace in your own presence, a place where you were allowed to feel.

A single tear slid down your cheek, and this time, you let it fall. Here, under the moonlit sky, you allowed yourself to mourn the love that had faded, the loyalty that had never been returned. He’d never see you cry, never know the weight of your sadness or the depth of what you had sacrificed. But here, alone, you could finally release the years of quiet heartbreak.

You sat beneath the stars, eyes tracing constellations as if searching for something beyond reach. You let your mind drift to a life you could barely imagine: one where you were free, loved, cherished. A soft breeze ruffled your hair, and you closed your eyes, letting the wind embrace you.

Because, after all, that was all you could do.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Making friendship bracelets for various crps

Potentially the first part of multiple idk I guess we'll have to wait and see!

Characters: jeff, nina, slenderman, laughing jack

Notes: reader is GN, platonic post but can be read as pining/crushing

CWs: mentions of blood

JEFF THE KILLER

Acts like he doesnt like it but will get defensive if you try to take it back from him

Sucks at making bracelets so if you get one in return(unlikely), it's not the prettiest or best out together.. you think you heard him swearing under his breath while putting it together

Keeps it under his jacket sleeve so it doesn't get covered in blood... he.. oddly seems to be careful of that, when he otherwise wouldn't care

Shoves it into your hands when the string needs replaced, tries to act like it's not a big deal and pushes you to just fix it when you ask questions

NINA THE KILLER

Has experience with making friendship bracelets and necklaces, so she makes quick and decent work when making one for you! Absolutely cherishes the one you make for her and never takes it off

The one she makes for you is colorful and chaotic, but unlike LJ, hers tend to have some sort of theme to string it together instead of being a mess

The bracelet you make for her joins the many that decorate her arms, and she swears shes never going to take it off ever

Unconventional materials, like tabs from cans and pins and so on

LAUGHING JACK

The second you bring up the idea hes begging for the two of you to sit down and make one together!

The one he makes you is a little... much.. he adds as many colors and charms as he can add to it so it may be a little clunky and chaotic, but god hes so proud of himself

The first version of the bracelet you make for him is too small so you need to remake it :( he has very large hands... you also learn that his clothing seems to be a part of his body so the bracelet goes over his sleeve

Probably eating the beads when you're not looking

SLENDERMAN

He doesn't quite get it but he let you slip the bracelet onto his wrist!

Curious head tilt as you ask for his hand and slip it on him, doesn't resist

Doesnt take it off ever, either hes forgotten it's there or he simply wants to keep it on.. if it ever needs to be taken off for one reason or another he tucks it into his suit jacket for safe keeping

Has never made a bracelet himself, for obvious reasons... but you may wake up to a vague mimicry of one left on your table... made with pretty rocks and bones and sticks.. forest stuff

[lancedoncrimsonwings]

Get to know your mutuals Game

Oooohh thank you for the tag @holy3cake

No pressure tagging @gwalch-mei @beginning-writer + OPEN TAG FOR ALL to answer these 27 random questions, I'll put a blank version in the comments!

What's the origin of your blog title?

Originally, "OnCrimsonWings" is my Ao3 username, which was a poetic kinda reference to Dante from Devil May Cry because his demon form has red wings. When I made this blog I knew I wanted it to include a reference to Lancelot/The Weeping Monk, so I just added "Lanced" to the Ao3 name.

It works on so many levels- as I also like winged Whumpees as a trope in general, and the name to me brings an image of a winged creature or person pinned by something sharp through the wing. It also works more as a poetic angel metaphor for Lancelot, as he's referred to as a dark/avenging angel in the role he's been molded into by the Church in Cursed, a role which is ultimately his downfall, like a fallen angel with crimson, or bloodied wings...

OTP(s) + Their shipname;

Lancewain; Lancelot (The Weeping Monk) x Gawain (The Green Knight) from Cursed

Melvik; Mel x Viktor from Arcane (also Jayvik; Jayce x Viktor, and Meljayvik; Mel x Jayce x Viktor)

Zaundads/Vanco; Vander x Silco from Arcane

BuckyNat/WinterWidow; Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow) x Bucky Barnes (The Winter Soldier) Marvel

Gwaenyra (Gwayne x Rhaenyra; House of the Dragon)

Colonel Everett Young x Dr. Nicholas Rush; Stargate Universe - I actually never really saw a shipname for these guys or I've forgotten it if I did know one

There's a bunch of others but that will do for now lmao

Favourite colour?

Purple!

Favourite game/s?

The Witcher 3, Skyrim, currently enjoying Monster Hunter, though the thing I have most hours in might actually be Fall Guys...

What song is currently stuck in your head?

In Maidjan by Heilung, I'm excited to see them live again soon!

Weirdest habit/trait?

I sit like a goblin in any and all chairs. (Except for when I'm physically tattooing, or in a formal meeting. Otherwise? If there is a chair I will be perched on it like a bisexual ass Goblin 100% of the time).

Uhhh and I can bend the first knuckle (closest to the fingertips) on my fingers whilst keeping the second/middle knuckles perfectly straight/locked.

Hobbies:

Playing piano, making cosplays, making chainmail, listening to music, playing D&D, keeping snakes and also doing Archery, as of late!

If you work, what's your profession?

Tattooing- for the next two weeks anyway. I also volunteer at my local zoo and do commission pet portraits!

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Realistically?

Tattooing but at a studio with a working toilet, repaired roof and decent non falling apart floors, where I am NOT the sole member of the studio 😂

Otherwise, doing something arty like making things or running my small buisness full time. Or if all goes well with this insane Uni plan I have, then working with snakes in some way shape or form. Not sure how, yet but. I dunno, it might be cool.

Something you're good at:

I'm a really creative person and I come up with a lot of really cool ideas!

Something you're bad at:

Maths, I mean I just struggle with numbers in general. And telling my left from right 😂

Something you love: 

Daniel Sharman. I mean. Look at him man's stunning

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: 

Snakes! And I did that when I took the snakes in to Scouts and taught them about snakes with not much prep time at all 😂

Something you hate:

People trying to control other people or put their views on them. (Eg. Very religious people that try and force you to believe their religion. Or Antis that hate on a fictional trope or ship or theme and think no one is allowed to read or write it. That sort of thing)

Something you collect: 

Books! I have several hundered, at this point, and that's after having to bin about 300 due to severe damp in a previous house.

Something you forget: 

I dunno. I forgot

What's your love language?

Giving gifts, I think, but I also like touching/leaning on people who I love (only when my skin doesn't feel bruised, which is basically always, and honestly most of the time I'm touch averse lmao). I'm not really sure.

Favourite movie/show: 

Movie; Labyrinth, Lost Boys, Avatar I & Avatar II: the way of water, LOTR Trilogy

Show; Arcane, The Witcher and Cursed

Favourite food:

I really like homemade stew and mash, but I can't make it (thanks fatigue) so I haven't actually had it in years. I love roasties (roasted potatoes) with copious amounts of butter on.

Favourite animal:

Snakes! Specifically I love Dumeril's Boas, Madagascan Ground Boas- and have one of each myself- and I have a soft spot for Boelen's Pythons and European Adders!

What were you like as a child? 

Always daydreaming in my own little world, shy, but also I had anger issues at the age of 4... so a bit of a shitbag lmao.

Favourite subject at school?

Art or Science, though I also liked music!

Least favourite subject: 

Maths. I always used to get yelled at for refusing to do homework, and for drawing in my book and putting my headphones in to listen to music. (It was actually helping me focus, but the fact I had ADHD was completely missed so I just got yelled at for it. I still got a B in my GCSEs though so fuck em!)

What's your best character trait?

I'm incredibly organised (because if I wasn't my life would be an absolute shambles as my memory is shit), and I'm very good at problem solving! If character trait more means "personality" then it would probably be that I am a very caring person.

What's your worst character trait?

I can be very stubborn and headstrong paired with the fact I am a control freak and like things organised, then that tends to frustrate both the people around me and myself...

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

I'd cure my disabilities. Just so I could continue tattooing and take on the studio- or just open my own elsewhere, or I'd go get a career out in the field with snakes and not have to worry about fatigue, collapse, pain or dietary issues wherever I went!

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

Chester Bennington, 100%. I miss him. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life that I was meant to go and see him live on that final tour and I couldn't afford the tickets thanks to an unexpected bill. He was, and still is my hero.

[taevescence]

Valentine's Day Special Event

To celebrate this February 14th I have decided to make a small event for all of you!!! The rules are simple, you will go through four stations where you must put together your request as follows: First station - member: Choose the member you want the request from (only one!) Second station - gender: Choose a phrase you want to appear in the request (maximum 3!) Third station -AU Fourth station - Trope The event will be open until February 28th and requests will be published in order starting in March (those containing NSFW content may take longer than others).

If you want to participate or use this there is no problem, you can use it!!! (Although credit would be appreciated 🙂‍↕️) Special thanks to the creators of the prompts: @dumplingsjinson @me-writes-prompts and @nightprompts <3

➤ Choose your partner;

⁠❥ Kim Seokjin

⁠❥ Min Yoongi

⁠❥ Jung Hoseok

⁠❥ Kim Namjoon

⁠❥ Park Jimin

⁠❥ Kim Taehyung

⁠❥ Jeon Jungkook

➤ Choose your chocolate savor;

❥ Dark Chocolate (Smut):

❛ you can't expect me to do all the work. i want to see what that pretty mouth of yours can do. ❜

❛ you're mine, and i take care of what belongs to me. ❜

❛ i want to fuck you so badly. ❜

❛ do you really think you’re in a position to give orders? ❜

❛ please. make me feel good. no one else can like you. ❜

❛ you can call me whatever you want, baby. ❜

❛ we're going to fuck right here? what if someone sees us? ❜

❛ your body was made for mine. ❜

❛ you keep your hands where they are or i'll tie them up. ❜

❛ you want gentle? wrong fucking address. ❜

❛ have a little trust in yourself, i know you can take it. ❜

❛ it's my thigh or nothing. i'm not helping you get off. ❜

❛ i'm waiting for your permission to let me have my way with you. ❜

❛ i don't care if someone sees us. i need you, now. ❜

❛ now, i'll ask again, are you going to be good for me? ❜

❛ we both know how much you're going to enjoy this. ❜

❛ i'm sorry, what was that? i can’t hear you over all that noise you’re making. ❜

❥ Chocolate (Angst):

"It's not you...it's me. I can't stop loving you."

"If I knew loving someone would hurt so much, I still would've loved you."

"I'm tired of being the only one who loves you. I need you to love yourself first."

"This is not the version of you I fell in love with. And honestly, I've forgotten the real you."

"Is it so hard to believe I've stopped loving you?"

"I can't live without you. I can't love without you. I need you, by my side, always did and always will." "You'll be okay. I know you will."

"It's not okay to just leave me here, after telling me you love me back." "We can't- we'll never be together."

"So you choose them over me? After all we've been through together, you choose them?"

"I'm forbidden to love you. I'm forbidden to be with you. So, what am I to do if not fall on my knees and beg for you to stay?"

"It's truly funny...how you can't choose who you want to be in love with. I didn't choose to be in love with you. It just happened, and I wish it didn't."

Walking in rain to their house just to find that they're no longer there.

"You can't go. You cannot leave me here. You promised we'll be together forever."

Playing the song they always sang together to, and just crying.

"It'll never be the same between us. We'll never be the same."

"Your silence speaks more than you ever have. And, I'm not sure why it took so long for me to notice."

"You've drifted so far away from my side that I can no longer reach for your hand and guide you back to me."

"I can no longer recognize you. And that's not even the saddest part. It's the fact that you no longer make any attempt to make me understand you."

❥ White Chocolate (Fluff):

“I see such a vivid picture of us in the future, and it’s looking so amazing.” 

“I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, but that doesn’t mean I regret it one bit.” 

“You make me a better person, love, and I hope you know most of this character development is because of you.” 

“Sweetheart, you’re tired. Go to sleep; I’ll still be here in the morning.” 

“I’m yours in this eternity, and in any and every other eternities which may lay ahead of us. I’ll always find my way back to you, no matter what.”

“Everyday I fall for you all over again and I find that to be pretty neat.”

“We don’t need a ring on my finger for us to know I’m yours forever.” 

“I gave you one hundred and one reasons to walk away, yet you never did. Why?” “Because I love you. It’s really that simple.”

“Remember when we first met here?” “Yeah, of course. That was the day when you spilled coffee on me and apologised profusely but all I could think about was how gorgeous you are and how great it would have been to get your number.”

“It’s always been you, and it will always be you. Please never forget that.”

“You make me feel all soft and mushy inside.” “That is a good thing, right?” “Of course! You melt me, love.”

“You’re an idiot.” “Well, at least I’m your idiot, right?”

“You’re the reason why I believe in love, you know?”

“Stop back-hugging me while I’m trying to cook! You’re distracting me,”

“C’mere and rest next to me. You’ve worked hard enough today.”

“You feeling any better?” “So much better now that you’re here. I love you".

“You always manage to make me feel like I’m worth it.” “That’s because you are worth it. You’ll always be worth it in my eyes.”

➤ Choose your bouquet;

❥ Tulip: College AU

❥ Rose: Royalty AU

❥ Lavender: CEO AU

❥ Jasmine: Artist AU

❥ Marigold: Celebrity AU

❥ Hyacinth: Coworkers AU

❥ Lotus: Florist AU

❥ Lily: Bad Boy AU

❥ Cherry Blossom: Coffee Shop AU

➤ Choose your date;

❥ Drive-in-movie: Second Chance

❥ Night Walk: Arranged Marriage

❥ Picnic Date: Friends To Lovers

❥ Bowling: Enemies To Lovers

❥ Karaoke Night: Roomates

❥ Dance Night: Established Relationship

❥ Amusement Parks: Body Swap

❥ Museum: Only One Bed

[truuskn]

i find it really curious how differently elita may experience and react to similar events in her life in different universes. and before we begin, let's close our eyes to the fact that different writers worked on these two images, that the show and the comics differ greatly in ideas, atmospheres, ratings, etc, etc :D

i think wfc elita and skybound elita are her possible best version and her worst version, and i'm talking about her as a person, not as a character. two extremes, two paths she can step on. in two very similar worlds she can either rise up or break down

in skybound we see how war can disfigure elita, weaken her spirit, torment her spark, almost destroy her personality. her entire being is built on saving cybertron and resisting decepticons and it did not affect her in a positive way. there is nothing left in her life but struggle, pain and an animal hatred for the enemy and anyone who dares to take a step away from her views. she is cruel, cynical, she praises the fire in arcee, noticing how fiercely she wants revenge for ultra magnus, how she lashes out at shockwave, threatening his life (while optimus talks arcee out of hurting another living being, even decepticon, reminding her of what it means to be an autobot), she cheers the violence from prime, enjoying his momentary return to his former self (while optimus is sickened by the realisation of what he's just done). she really is the worst version of herself. she's not a bad person, no. but she's broken. and it's leading her down a completely new, unfamiliar for us scenario. the ruthless world has inflicted the worst wounds on her and this time she had no strength left to remain herself

despite everything, she's still an autobot, of course, she's an autobot! there is no world where things would be different. but... it's just that the concept of this term have blurred for her over the years. hope, faith in the best in every person, forgiveness, choice not in favor of violence but of words, caring for everyone in need and so on and so forth - all of these is forgotten by her. now it's a weakness, not an advantage. perhaps, a long time ago she had joined the autobots inspired by prime's speeches, fully sharing his belief in a bright, fair future, but those days are gone. that elita is gone. now being an autobot for her is solely about fighting and destroying the decepticons from the face of cybertron. her and optimus still have similar goals, but critical different desires, opinions and approaches. they both want peace. they both want to give their people a new, free life. but if optimus is ready to wait, temporarily step off or even move on, ready to shift his focus on another planet, then elita will never be able to let go of cybertron, not for a single second, no matter what's going on around them. she's not ready to put aside centuries of suffering, she's not ready to forget all the sacrifices they've made in trying to stop the invaders, she can't forget all those fallen soldiers, ruined lives and lost years so easily. she's not ready to prioritise anyone else. the centre of her life is cybertron and the autobots. and nothing in the world can change that. she means no harm to earth, she means no harm to optimus, but she will do anything to protect her home

wfс elita lives similar life. she’s at the lowest point of her existence. a dying, blighted cybertron. a completely decimated autobot army. she, abandoned, alone, leads frustrated and frightened soldiers just like her. no hope for optimus' return, no faith in her people's victory, the fight for justice and a better world is over, now the only goal is to simply try to survive. it couldn't be worse. elita started losing faith in the autobot cause a long time ago, each day she understood less and less what they continued to fight for, she grew disappointed, lost her fervour, and now, in the most scary time, it would seem that anyone would gave up. but not her. this world was breaking her, was trying to break her, but she kept holding on, clinging to optimus' hope, continuing to follow him and his beliefs, never taking a step into the darkness

she never forgot what set her apart from her enemy and as much as she hated them all, she would never dare to hurt them the way they hurt her. she decided for herself once and for all - she will not stoop to their level, she won't let her fears corrupt the reasons she became an autobot in the first place. no matter how much pain she was in, no matter how desperately she wanted to end it all in any way, she never gave up snd continued to march proudly forward, protecting each and every one of them to the last drop of her blood, helping even the opponent's soldiers when needed. she fought for her planet and for all its people, for all those who called cybertron their home. megatron would pay the worst price for what he had done, but no one else would pay for his sins. she will not allow the hatred to spread further. she knows how to forgive. she doesn't forget, but she lets go of grudges. because she knows someone has to be first, someone has to set an example, that's always been the point of the autobots. and you know what? skybound elita would never do that. she wishes the decepticons nothing but harm, nothing but the trial of terror and fear that they, the autobots, have felt all these years because of them. if it were up to her, they, every last one of them, would burn with hell flame, as much longer as it's possible

it turns out that the same fight can lead to very diverse consequences... i'm amazed by that difference, honestly

oh, and the last - their main similarity, the thing that's happening in most of her stories. elita loses optimus. maybe it's their fate to be separated forever, huh?

wfc elita let optimus go. she realised that his departure was inevitable and important. perhaps, she thought it was a mistake, yes, she was unsure of his plan, she was afraid of losing him and she did try to talk him out of it, but she knew that he believed it was the right thing to do and if optimus believed, then so would she. she believed, but she chose her own path. without any regrets. she was saddened, hurt by their parting, optimus was one of the most important things to her and it would be hard to continue without him as a leader and soulmate, she needed him, they all needed him. but if fate was to take him away from her and their fight, so be it. it's her job to protect cybertron. and she can handle it. even if she has to act alone

for skybound elita optimus' departure, his willingly choice of earth, was the last straw. time after time she had withstood every blow dealt to her by fate but this? cybertron did not just lose optimus prime. optimus prime betrayed them. he made that decision on his own. he abandoned them, chose outsiders over his own people and his own home, denied them, lost, frightened, begging him for help, needing him more than anything else. it was truly the worst thing that had ever happened to her, the cruelest and most vile event of her entire life, and this pain was brought by the person most precious to her. she's in hell. the real hell. but she's not giving up. because elite-one never gives up. she wipes away her tears, gets up off her knees, picks up her gun and continues her fight. okay. if he's not going to do what he has to do, she will. she's cybertron's only hope, she truly is

[arkus-rhapsode]

What is up with Switch 2 Prices? (A discussion on the Switch 2)

Soooo Switch 2 Direct happened and I’ll say-I thought it was mostly good. Mario Kart World looked packed, NSO adding GameCube with many first titles promised, actually showing that after a decade they can run third party triple A titles, and the show stopper being an open world Donkey Kong game. But then the price came down.

Now… 499.99 for a console at the level of an Xbone or PS4 is certainly more than I think people were expecting. Especially considering the Japanese version is reportedly a hundred dollars cheaper. But hey, for a portable system as strong as this that’s gonna to likely be a one time purchase for most, I think this is manageable. Not the best, but not the worst.

However, what good is an expensive piece technology without a game to actually play on it? Well from what see of the first party/second party offerings, it’s pretty absurd to see these prices to say the least. Let’s start with things that I don’t believe are too bad and work our way up: Kirby And the Forgotten Land I actually think is the most justifiable. Because Nintendo games basically never go on sale, this previous gen game still goes for about 50-60 bones if you buy it new. So that means this version with the added campaign is essentially a definitive version with DLC bundled it. And because of backwards compatibility, you’d have the option to buy this Al la Carte. So while it may seem pretty prima facie exploitative, I think if you consider what new material you are getting, it’s lack of a price drop, and that there’s an option for those who already have the game, this seems fairly reasonable.

BOTW and TOTK being 10 dollars more despite already being high profile releases from a previous generation offering no new content though is a different story. While these are originally a 60/70 dollar games respectfully, the ten dollar increase in price is for more enhancements to the graphical resolution and frame rate of the original. Quite frankly that’s BS. I know these games weren’t originally made with the intent to be run on a more powerful machine than a switch, but the fact that these are enhancements that should just be automatic when put into new hardware is wild. They try to off-set this by saying it’s coming free with NSO, but that’s still payment.

And look, I’m not stupid. Like most people getting a switch 2 already had a switch, and likely own a copy of BOTW by now. So you already of the game. what’s wrong with paying 10 dollars then to make it play at it’s most enhanced state? It’s not like you’re being forced to buy just the switch 2 version. Well once again, I believe that personally that if all you are adding is basic graphical upgrades on a game as old as BOTW and TOTK, that’s not worth any money. At least if BOTW had the dlc bundled in I could maybe treat it like a delux edition, but it’s not. It’s just such a bad look in my opinion.

And now onto the new games. It’s pretty evident to me that Donkey Kong Bananza is going to be the Mario Odyssey of the Switch 2. Their big showpiece game on why you should buy this system associated with not only a member of the Mario-verse, but the first Nintendo video game character mascot. A character who for a time had his own consistent franchise through two generations of hardware. It does look great. So the idea of this being a 70 dollar purchase (potentially more with physical), is somewhat upsetting. Not that I didn’t believe this would be coming. When TOTK released, Nintendo pretty clearly stated they would consider 70 dollar games for select titles. And the tentpole for your launch line up of first party titles, it is understandable from a business stand point. So maybe MAYBE, if this was the only 70 dollar launch title most would grin and bare it.

However, this is coming with an announcement of games older than Bananza being priced at or higher than it, feels incredibly tone deaf. A brand new DK experience is valued that same as essentially a remaster the highest selling Zelda game that could run on a Wii U. I’m sorry but that just seems wrong. I think Nintendo thought that they could essentially make a sort of bespoke work around for cross gen titles, but, you do realize that some of these switch 1 games won’t be available forever. It’s not gonna be “just buy the cheaper option and don’t bother with the paid enhancement.” Well eventually all one might have is the switch 2 version. An enhanced version of a game that’s practically a decade old, right alongside your flagship new release? It takes what could’ve been at worst a rub down, and turns into some real salt in the wound.

And finally, Mario Kart World… yeah there’s no justification for this. I understand this is more ambitious than any other Mario kart. I saw the size of the world map, the costumes, the off road, the open world, the extra modes, etc. I don’t disagree that this is a premium title. But almost a hundred dollars for a video game is frankly wrong in my opinion. You could say that delux plus its dlc tracks would’ve equaled the same amount in the end, but once again, you had an option. You could always purchase the base package of delux for the same amount as every other triple A game on the shelf and receive countless hours of fun. With world however, it seems that it was impossible to make any concession with its scope, and rather than selling the software on a loss, Nintendo will do as Nintendo does. Now, believe me when I say ,y harsh words are because I think it lacks quality, but I struggle to believe in any game that is truly worth 80 dollars on launch.

Maybe some of this could be mitigated with a pack in title. Sadly post the Wii, getting pack in games on Nintendo systems isnt really a thing (at least on initial launch). A shame because while the PS5 had a rocky first few years, Astro’s playroom was at least a free tech demo game included on the system for those with no access to PS5 games. This is made even more egregious by the fact that this direct included the Tour of the Switch 2 game, that, while not as charming as a Wii sports, was a very basic interactive guide of the console with a few tech demo games throw in, that would be charged as a stand alone game. Like what?

I know I’m sounding very negative, maybe even jumping the gun in some instances, but these prices are genuinely frustrating. Especially seeing how the video game industry is going. Many speculate game publishers are looking to uniformly increase the prices of games at retail. With many news stories about how some have been waiting for GTA 6 to come out and be a hundred dollars. And the fact that Nintendo who is one of the bigger game companies that still shows it has a creative spark and has been praised for not following industry trends like turning franchises into games as a service and aggress expansion through acquisition of AA studios, has basically shot themselves in the foot with the most basic thing people will note when it comes to the exchange of goods and services, the price, is frustrating. It feels like I’ve gone back to the PS3’s first year, except I at least think the switch 2 new content looks much better.

I want to add, I don’t think anyone who buys these games at full price are bad. I’m not calling on people to boycott Nintendo or vote with their wallets, some people just want to play the next Mario kart and don’t care about the price to do so. For some people it’s normal to buy just one game as a big purchase and invest weeks even months into it before even buying another one. That’s fine. However, I do at least want people to be aware that we are drifting to state where games are becoming more and more expensive. It’s very easy to see this as the start to a slippery slope, and we ought to think about what that might mean for us, the consumers.

I’ll end it like this-I was overjoyed seeing that NSO is getting the GameCube emulated. Games like Luigi’s mansion, Fire Emblem Path of Radiance, Chibi Robo, F Zero GX etc. all games that go for hundreds of dollars second hand could now be accessed through a simple subscription service. And then I saw how much current gen games were gonna cost on the switch 2 and I thought “wait am I gonna be okay with spending 80 dollars at a GameStop, but not on eBay?”

[hotheadedhero]

Ok.. so this is for rise. Imagine, like future reader having comed back with CJ, but they only appears after the fight. And reader is just f/caked up, compared to the current reader. Idk if I’m making sense.

This could be platonic, or romantic but it’s just basically. How would the present turtles react to their future best friend/SO from future looking so scard and mentally and physically exhausted and so “out of character”, their personality has completely changed, they are just, grieving, and grumpy.

Sorry if this doesn’t make sense 😭

AN: I think I just puked from excitement, holy cheese. I've wanted to write something related to the movie but wasn't sure what, so thank you Anon 🙏 I hope I got the right idea. I've also only seen the movie once so apologies for any inaccuracies :')

Past Days, Future Pain

Rise Turtles x Reader

Warnings: contains spoilers for the ROTTMNT Movie, angst

Premise: 

You knew that Michelangelo opening a portal into the past would be a gamble. You knew there was a chance that there would be complications. You just didn't expect to get separated from Casey Jr upon entry. In actuality, you hadn't anticipated to be joining him in his journey at all. The fight with the Kraang was meant to continue with you in it but Leonardo just had to push you into the portal. There's no telling what negative developments could arise with you being here and bumping into your old friends and, more importantly, your younger self. A worn laugh breaches your lips in a huff. Donatello would have a field day with this last-minute decision made by his brother. 

From atop a building, you gaze over the pristine city, untouched by the nearing destruction you have grown so used to. It would be nice to say that everything is just as you remember it but this peace is a luxury you have long forgotten. Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath in. The air is so clean - a statement you never thought you would use to describe New York of all places. Voices dance all around, engaging in their idle chatter, obliviously free. 

You frown. No time. There's no time to get nostalgic. Doomsday is just around the corner and there's no telling if that ball's already running in motion. Casey may have been born in ruin but you'll be damned if he witnesses apocalypse's birth.

Hours later, you would find out that, yes, doomsday is ripening into a poisonous fruit. Kraang minions are littered around the city, gravitating around the tall building where, just above it, Pandora’s box is open. It's too late, isn't it? The one chance you had. Gone. Your bleak reality is returning to fruition. As monstrous beings come at you left and right, your world darkens in tandem with all around you. Hope is lost for a second time. All the same, you continue to fight. Every breath, every swing, could be your last but still, you fight in the hope of at least finding Casey. You need to find him. 

By the time you do, all is vanquished. You could cry from joy if part of you didn’t believe it was all a dream. There, you see all your old friends. Some you would have seen just hours ago, others you haven’t seen in many years. You pull the goggles from your face and rest them on your head for a better look. 

“Sorry, I’m late. Did I miss the grand finale?”

They all turn when they hear the new voice and each goes wide-eyed. The turtles look between you and… you! Present you. Future you. Young. Old. The space-time continuum isn’t going to like this one. It’s one thing to meet the son of Cassandra but a future (Y/n)? Wild. Looks like they’ll be getting to know you. Again.

There's no way to return home. Your home is gone. Now that the timeline has changed, the only thing to do is to get comfortable. It'll be difficult. The only comfort you know is terrorised screams and running for your life. Adjusting to the world from which you came is going to be no easy feat and the turtles adjusting to this version of you is… well…

Raphael

The Wounded Warrior

To a fault, it’s always been Raph’s mission to protect you, ever since you first met. It saddens him to know that his future self couldn’t do that for you. From head to toe, you’re practically littered with scars. He doesn’t want to seem rude by staring but he can’t help it. He’s ridden with guilt for events that haven’t even happened. Events that won’t happen now thanks to them but that doesn’t change the fact that they’ve still happened to you. He notices how you avoid mirrors, how you avoid reflective surfaces altogether.

His fingers absentmindedly glide beneath his right eye. To an extent, he can understand what you’re going through. His experience doesn’t dare compare to what nightmares you’ve endured but it’s the ownership of a wound from said experiences. The memory associated with it and being reminded of those horrors every time you so much as look at yourself. It’s tiring. You look so tired; worn, broken, and beat.

Raphael frowns at himself. It would be hypocritical of him to preach tribute to your valour when he struggles to acknowledge his own. He could try all he wants to make you feel better but you’d likely call him out on the irony. That doesn’t stop Casey Jr and his brothers from psyching you both up when they recount stories from your ventures. It lumps the two of you into a corner but a corner you share nonetheless. As the others share their tales, he looks down at you, noting the way you fidget and avoid the praise. When he pulls you in for a side hug, you look up at him and he flashes a coy smile, making you do the same. There’s not much he can do for your physical scars but he can be there to share in the mild awkwardness of being glorified at least. 

Leonardo

The Tortured Trooper

He tries many times to get a laugh out of you, just as he would with the (Y/n) he’s grown to cherish but no dice. Nothing he does works and it’s such a harrowing disparity. He himself has had a life-changing revelation because of all that’s happened but he couldn’t imagine what 20 years of that could do to a person. Well, he doesn’t need to imagine it. The result is right in front of him and translated through your future self. When he isn’t trying to put on some show for your amusement, he watches you. He notices how you stare off into dead space. Your eyes pale and glass over and he doesn’t need to think hard about where you disappear off to. 

One night, he’s unable to sleep, pondering ways to get you out of your funk. His thinking would get cut short, however, when he hears a shrill cry come from your quarters. Sword in hand, he bolts for your room, expecting to find a threat but it’s just you. You’re hunched over, shaking and struggling for air, drenched in sweat. He carefully drops his sword and crawls out in front of you, trying to get you to calm down. You latch onto him with a deathly grip as if your life depended on it. 

"I saw you die b-before coming here,” you sob out in broken breaths.

These are rare moments for Leo but it’s the kind of time where he doesn’t know what to say. No quip, no bad joke, no charming motivation. Nothing. All he can think to do is hold you and let you cry into his shoulder. It’s not much but if he can at least be there for these dark hours, that’s enough.

Donatello

The Hateful Hero

He's so used to fighting your present self's hug attempts that your chosen isolation throws him off course. Any attempt to even breathe in your direction is met with a raised weapon and a second-nature standoffishness. The laser-focused glare in your eyes for the short second you’re ready for battle is enough to give Donnie chills. He knows you’ve been through a lot but himself and everyone else included are your friends, aren’t they? They’re the one group of people guaranteed that you’re safe around.

Hypothesis: you’re so used to fighting for your life, that your body doesn’t know how to readjust to a more peaceful setting. As peaceful as you can get in this place, anyway. Your fight or flight response must be fried, constantly geared in combat mode. He tries to make the lair as hospitable as possible, filling it with things he knows his version of you likes. This only enrages you further and he has to believe that his initial theory may have been slightly off. When he tries to get an answer as to why, you just sit back in your corner and scowl off.

“How do I know this won’t all go away, too?” you ask bitterly.

Donnie stares down at you and slowly joins your side with no response. He dislikes questions he can’t answer with his usual certainty but he doubts any reassurance could put you at ease right now. It’s clear to him now. You’re scared to get close in case you lose it all again. He can’t guarantee that another doomsday won’t arise but he can say that they’ll be ready, at least. Until you’re soothed of your worries, he’ll let that be known every day if he has to.

Michelangelo

The Sullen Soldier

Mikey has always valued togetherness with his family and friends. He’s always cherished the joy that comes with unity, the memories that you make together. That’s why it’s so heartbreaking to see you shy away from the entire group. The only person who can get more than a few words out of you is Casey Jr but that’s understandable given all of what you’ve been through together. What happened to his fun-loving (Y/n) to turn you into this husk of a person? In hindsight, he and his brothers only caught a glimpse of the disastrous future from whence you came and that’ll be enough to last him a lifetime.

That makes this all the more terrible in his eyes. The world has been saved, the threat vanquished, and everyone is happy except for you - the one person who, outside of his family, means the most to him. He knows that deep down inside that gloomy shell you want to be a part of the household. You just need a gentle push in the right direction. 

What’s the one thing that fixes everything? Pizza! That’ll do the trick for sure! It may not necessarily fix everything but it’ll get a smile out of you. That’s all he wants. You take that first bite and he sits at the ready. Even a little smirk would be good enough. Your lips move and then they start wobbling. Before he knows it, they’re scrunched up and silent tears run down your cheeks. He assumes he’s done more damage than good but, then, you smile up at him sadly with watery eyes and quietly thank him. Mikey can feel tears of his own blur his vision as he joins you. He’ll know the world is right when you can spend time together without crying over each other.

Bonus:

The Knowledgable Knight

You don’t even recognise the person you’re looking at despite it being you. This young dear, so bright-eyed and so unknowing to the terrors you carry with you. A version of you long bypassed from the two decades of war. They have so many questions they wish to ask - you can tell - but they hold back in fear of seeming insensitive. You almost find it funny given who they are.

When there is a moment alone, you only have one thing to say, “Life is precious, so lead yours reasonably and to the fullest, okay?” 

They smile sadly and nod in understanding. They don’t need to know all of what you’ve gone through to know that life shouldn’t be taken advantage of. It’s a lesson to learn from yourself and, funny enough, yourself.

“And one other thing,” you continue, playfulness hinted with the light smirk on your face. “For the love of God, just tell him how you feel already. You never know if you might end up losing your chance.”

Your younger self goes wide-eyed and there’s practically steam coming off their face but they give you their promise with a raised thumb. You do the same and wish them all the best. Even if you’ve had a life of lost opportunities and lost love, that doesn’t mean the same needs to be true for you again. You watch them run off and glance around the room. Whilst you hold the pain of a future no longer to be, you can take solace in the fact that it won’t be repeated. The apocalypse can’t lay its wretched hands on anyone else. You sit down and let your weary bones rest, well and truly for the first time in years. A long breath washes out of you and, finally, you feel a sense of ease. 

Maybe there is such a thing as second chances.

____________________

Hey! Hey, you! Yeah, you. Got a little message for ya!

There's no telling where life is going to go, what challenges it'll throw your way. We may be left with scars, or feeling hopeless. Sometimes our pain comes back to haunt us, or we lash out. Just know that it gets easier. We are all heroes of our own battles. We've lived to tell the tale and we are strong. Don't ever forget that. Keep your head held high and keep your loved ones close, whether that be family, friends, pets, or four awesome turtles <3

[misshoneyimhome]

Hey ! Saw that you may write for Nathan Mackinnon!

Could you please write something really sweet and domestic, maybe husband!nathan, I absolutely love you writing! So thank you if you can !

Thank you so much, babe! ❤️ So, I’ve done my best to put together a little husband!Nathan one-shot, and I really hope I’ve managed to somewhat capture his character 😊 I hope you enjoy it!

Tropes & Warnings: No warnings, Husband!Nathan, just pure fluff, and a touch of humour as the reader lovingly tells Nathan to get over himself 😉

Word count: 1.1K

➼｡ﾟ

Through the Dark I Husband!Nathan Mackinnon ✐

Nathan MacKinnon had always carried himself with unshakable confidence. It wasn’t arrogance—just certainty. He knew who he was and what he was capable of: speed, precision, an unrelenting drive that set him apart as one of the NHL’s elite. It had earned him the respect of his teammates, the adoration of fans, and the fear of opponents. But lately, that certainty had started to crack.

The stats still painted him as a star—goals, assists, the usual accolades. But no amount of numbers could disguise how hollow it all felt. No matter how many hours he poured into training, how many drills he ran until his muscles screamed for mercy, something was missing. His movements on the ice felt disconnected, as if his body had forgotten what his mind knew by heart. The ice, once his sanctuary, now felt foreign.

He’d had slumps before—every player did. But this was different. It wasn’t just his game faltering; it was him. Every missed pass, every fumbled puck, every critical comment from analysts chipped away at his confidence, leaving behind splintered fragments of doubt. What if I’ve peaked? What if I can’t pull myself out of this? What if I let everyone down? My team, the fans… you.

You.

The thought of you twisted the knife deeper. You, his rock, his safe place, his wife. You’d stood by him through every high and low, through every triumph and heartbreak. He still remembered the way you looked the first time he saw you—a smile that made him forget how to form a coherent sentence. You’d teased him mercilessly when he tripped over his words, and he’d been hooked ever since.

Your love had been a slow burn, built on late-night conversations and stolen moments in the off-season. When he’d finally worked up the nerve to confess his feelings, it had been like scoring the winning goal in overtime—euphoric and terrifying all at once. And when he’d proposed to you under the glittering snowfall of a New Year’s Eve, he’d been certain nothing could ever compare to that victory. Not even the Stanley Cup.

But now, those memories felt like they belonged to someone else. A version of himself that didn’t second-guess every move, that didn’t stay at the rink until midnight, chasing something he couldn’t define. He’d been avoiding you without meaning to, throwing himself into extra practices and solitary workouts. The truth was, he was afraid—afraid that you’d see him like this. That you’d see through his carefully constructed façade and realise he wasn’t enough.

The arena was dark and silent as he skated in slow, aimless circles. Midnight had come and gone, and he knew you’d be waiting for him at home. But the thought of walking through the door, of facing you and pretending he was fine, felt unbearable.

The sharp sound of footsteps broke through the stillness. He looked up, startled, and saw you standing by the edge of the rink. You were bundled in your favourite coat, a scarf wrapped snugly around your neck, your eyes glinting with equal parts concern and determination.

“Seriously, Nate?” you called, stepping carefully onto the ice. “It’s one in the morning. Do you have any idea what kind of scenarios I’ve been imagining? Ditches, kidnappings, alien abductions…”

“I texted,” he muttered weakly, his voice barely carrying.

“Once. At eight. That doesn’t count.” Your tone softened as you drew closer. “What’s going on?”

He sighed, leaning on his stick like it was the only thing keeping him upright. “I didn’t want to bring this home.”

“And yet, here I am.” You stepped in front of him, your boots sliding slightly on the ice. “Talk to me.”

He hesitated, the words caught in his throat. Finally, he muttered, “I feel like I’m failing. On the ice. In life. Everywhere.” He paused, his voice cracking. “What if… what if I don’t get it back? What if I’m never the same? What if you realise I’m not enough?”

Your chest tightened at his words, the raw vulnerability in his voice cutting through you like a blade. Without hesitation, you took his stick and set it aside, then placed your hands on his face, forcing him to meet your gaze.

“Nathan MacKinnon,” you said firmly, “you are more than enough. Whether you score a hundred goals or never lace up your skates again, you’re the man I love. You. The guy who buys me flowers on random Tuesdays. The guy who hogs the pillows but always makes sure I have the softest one. The guy who sings Backstreet Boys at the top of his lungs when he thinks no one’s listening.”

His lips quirked into the faintest of smiles. “I don’t sing,” he protested.

“Oh, you do,” you said, arching an eyebrow. “And it’s terrible. But I love it anyway. I love you.”

He looked down, blinking rapidly, as if trying to hide the emotions welling up in his eyes. “What if I can’t fix this?” he whispered.

“Then we figure it out together,” you replied without hesitation. “But you need to stop shutting me out. I’m here, Nathan. Always.”

For a moment, he just stood there, his gaze locked on yours. Then, with a shaky breath, he pulled you into his arms, holding you so tightly it felt like he was afraid you might slip away. “I don’t deserve you,” he murmured against your hair.

You pulled back just enough to meet his eyes, a playful glint in your own. “Oh, you absolutely don’t. But lucky for you, I’m not going anywhere.”

He let out a surprised laugh, the sound echoing through the empty rink and chasing away the shadows that had been haunting him.

“Come on,” you said, grabbing his hand. “Let’s go home. You look like you haven’t eaten in hours, and I’m not above bribing you with pizza.”

Later, as you curled up together on the couch, the smell of reheated pizza lingering in the air, Nathan felt something shift inside him. You were nestled against him, your legs tangled with his under the blanket, your head resting on his chest. His fingers traced slow, absentminded patterns on your arm as he stared down at you.

“You know you’re ridiculous, right?” he murmured, his voice soft but teasing.

“Part of my charm,” you quipped, grinning up at him.

He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I love you,” he said simply, his voice thick with gratitude.

“Good thing I love you too,” you replied, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

And in that moment, as the warmth of your love wrapped around him, Nathan felt the weight in his chest begin to lift. He didn’t have all the answers, but he didn’t need to. Because whatever challenges lay ahead, he knew he wouldn’t face them alone.

With you by his side, he could navigate any darkness. Together, you’d always find the light.

[wishfulsketching]

What a year, huh.

I'm not going to talk about how everything is going to shit in the real world, that's not what this post is about.

I can remember that before Gotham, I had a bit of trouble trying to get inspired about art. I did end up doing a lot of original art due to that, tho. Gotham was the nice return to a hyperfixation that got me back to creating, which felt like a saving grace tbh. I draw A LOT, you may have noticed. I thank my ADHD for that. So, when I'm unable draw I do struggle spending my time in any meaningful way.

I also started reading again this year. Murderbot Diaries got me by the throat, I love those books so much. I've also liked T. Kingfisher's books so far, haven't read that many yet, tho. I also read in english, not the translated versions, so it's a nice way to "use" my english skills.

I finally started needle felting this Christmas! I've been meaning to do it for yearsss. Bunnydog was my ever first attempt, Slowpoke was my second.

Arcane season 2. Woohee, I had totally forgotten when it was going to drop! It was a good thing tho, I was saved from a lot of painful waiting around, hah. I might've chickened out of the Zaundads fandom back in the day but it's so much more chill now. Well, kind of. I do see people complain a bit in the tags. Plus I bet it's a lot worse in other sites. ANYWAY!

I feel like that in this short time after season 2, I've gotten better at art and got my groove fully back. I am so grateful for people who just keep being so nice and support me here adsfsdfo! I said it back in 2021/2022 I think but I'll say it again: zaundads fandom has been one of the nicest fandom I've been part of. (I have to mention tho, so is riddlebird fandom)

I'm still a bit overwhelmed with all the attention I'm getting, I admit, but I am also so happy I get to share my unhinged love for this stupid little man.

My next year will start with job hunting and balancing my mental health (I've been "in recovery" for years, it's gonna be a adjustment to start working. I am still very much struggling but not as much so I have to find a job that doesn't kill me in a month lol).I've also made one new years resolution which is that I will more actively display and live my preferred identity and not just go "eh whatever, I know how I actually feel like so". Not gonna be easy because I get embarrassed about everything and will want to backpedal so hard at the start but uhhh...I'll try not to? Eh.

Yea. So a lot of new things for the next year and I already feel tired. But hopeful!

I'll end this post by randomly sharing my fave CJU gameplays because his gameplay vids always help me to relax:

I couldn't find the playlist so here's PART 2 and PART 3. I really love the story in this one.

A game I expected nothing from and now rewatch this playthrough ever so often. PLAYLIST

Love the game, love the commentary, love the vibes! PLAYLIST

[denv2]

Felix and the Cats Around Him

Chapter 181~ I reread the part with Felix for the first time in a long time, and there were so many elements that I hadn't noticed before because of my relative lack of knowledge. It's so good... I like it👍

Below are my thoughts as I went through the chapters + drew pictures + IM chapter 181~ spoiler warning! (scroll through carefully lol)

When I first read IM, I knew Felix, but I didn't love him as much as I do now, so I hadn't seen the official cartoon anime (and I had seen all the Oswald anime by then, lol I love all the original characters, so if I like them, I'll watch all the original media and buy the game).

So when I read the Felix part during the hallucination created by the labyrinth in chapter 181, I actually... at that time... I just read it while just following the story, so I didn't remember much about it, and later, after I finished the fic and realized that my favorite character was Felix, I was thinking that I should read the part about Felix's past properly again later, and then I recently re-read that part...

So... so good.... I love the Felix storyline..... It's so interesting... I knew IM Alex was a badass (I really liked the Evil Author Day 2023 novella, so I read that a lot... I know it's a side novella, but I thought it had a great plot and the situation surrounding Bendy was interesting and I loved the Alex in it...) but I had forgotten all about the IM version of Kitty... WHAT?! Felix and EX relationship?!! What a crazy... Delicious (sorry for my taste buds) And it was Alex that caused them to break up? What the hell kind of crazy thing did Alex do that made Kitty feel guilty and Felix run away... Crazy! So delicious (sorry again)

I drew the original cartoon Felix and Kitty a while ago, and I feel weird because I drew them in an EX state in IM, and I feel a little sorry for them, but it's a worldview, right? The relationship between these two is so delicious... lol ahhhhh (yeah I love this kind of relationship too)

I also like villainous characters, so I'm very curious about Alex. Actually, he may not appear more, but after reading the above book... Of course, it may not have anything to do with the main story! To be honest, there's still a lot of information about the cult that hasn't been revealed, so I'm really curious to see what happens next.

Moving on to Felix... Felix was a ZANY superstar, but after Alex, he started to fall apart. Eventually, due to some sort of incident, Felix decided to give up on ZANY and left town. It's such an interesting backstory... But when I think about the early Felix, traveling the world after he left, I realize that he's so... Even better.

Giving up being zany and living with the things he was born with, like resilience and memory. I think he went through a lot of hardships... losing his wealth. He was really lost and confused, and then he met Professor Wilson, and he opened his eyes to archaeology, and he went to college, and he started studying, and he started doing archaeology, and he started adventuring... and that's how he became the skilled professional adventurer that he is today, and that's why I like him even more...

In fact, to be honest, the scene where he sees the last of Professor Wilson and he's so angry and fighting the cupbros, that was the first time I read that scene in the first book, I was surprised and bewildered because it was the first time I'd ever seen him this angry, and I was like, "Oh my god. Is this actually... Is this a fake Felix?" I was confused and then I was like, "What's wrong with Felix? He's fighting too much, that's too much!" But when I read it for the second time... I could relate to it now.... and I found the situation so interesting and I liked it... I liked Felix getting angry (this is just my selfishness... sorry to the cupbros) so much that I read it while screaming in my head. It's stimulating.

Wow...I talked a lot...I'm glad I reread it after a long time because there are so many elements I didn't notice back then. I should catch up and read it from the beginning, but you know, there are so many chapters...lol Anyway... I love Felix. I like cats and bunnies.... Of course, I also like the other friends!

I think the translator put too many and's in there... please understand the meaning and move on!

[jokingmisfit]

Not Yet Forgotten

Platonic Future Hamato Brothers x Neglected Reader

Warnings- Angst with Happy Ending, Reader is Casey Jr's Sibling, Neglectful Parental Figures, Severe Injuries, Mentions of Blood and Broken Bones, Near Death Experience, Hurt with Comfort, Head Injury, Mention of Reader having Mystic Powers

Notes- I may make a different version from 3rd person pov to show how bad the boys felt. I don't know anything about medicine so please forgive me for any incorrect everything. Wrote this right before therapy and I think it shows. Lol, Enjoy!

Your breathing was fast, but muffled through your hand. It felt like your lungs were on fire. You don't know how far you've run, but you hope that it's far enough.

Only an hour earlier, Krang dogs surrounded you and your crew. The rest were already dead... You were frightened and angry. You knew that if only they'd taught you how to fight as well as they had Casey, then you wouldn't be in this situation. They didn't care for you. Your brother being far too important, apparently, for you to be cared for at all. 

Made sense in your mind. You didn't look like your mother like Casey did. Didn't share a name or even blood. Just another "stray" she'd picked up, but she loved you. In her own way. Too bad when she died the knowledge she left you with was all you'd be given. No sessions with Leonardo. No kind words from Michelangelo or Raphael. No scolding on health or knowledge from Donatello. It was like you were invisible. Unimportant. 

You and your team had done so much. Achieved amazing things, but every achievement was overlooked. Every injury was ignored. Perhaps you did learn a few things... Fending for yourself. That didn't help now, though.

Climbing the rubble. You could feel the parts of your body move in ways they weren't made for. You were strong but how strong would you have to be to defy death itself. You had sent out the SOS so long ago, yet it seems as if nobody will come.

Your blood stained broken concrete rocks. You prayed to whatever higher being was above that, just this once, they wouldn't overlook you. That the people who were supposed to care the most would save you.

You finally collapsed at the top of the heap. Only small peaks of the red sky could be seen. You were safe, for now, but you were bloodied and broken. Your stash of medical supplies were carried by a dead man. You wouldn't last, not long, at least.

You hit the alert again seeing as the purple light went out. Hitting the button over and over as your breath thinned. It felt harder to breathe with every second. 

An alert came back to you. A communication. You heard April once say it was like a phone call. Whatever that was. You pressed the button to hear the voice on the other end. It was Donatellos.

"Are you there? Can you hear me?" His voice was wavering. Something you'd never heard before.

With a raspy tone you whispered out your response. "You got... got te loc-location right?"

He sighed on the other end. "Yes we have it. A rescue team has already found the rest. Where are you hurt?"

"Hehe." Your laugh is cut off by coughing. Blood bubbling up in your lungs and throat. Looking at the gashes and stuck out bones, you answer. "Every- Everywhere..."

Silence met you on the other end. Silence and the clicking of the keyboard.

A deep breath, and you talk again. "I know... I- I know you all... Probably don't- don't care... but I don't wanna die... I don wanna die." A sob escapes your mouth, cutting off your sentence.

The pain and fear causing tears to cascade down your face.

The clicking stopped at your words.

Donatello responds after a few seconds. "They're almost there... I- You need to stay awake and you'll be fine. We- I won't let you die."

"I'm- I'm so sorry..." Your breath stops in your chest. "I shoulda- should of done better... I try- tried so hard... Was never good enough. I can't- can't breathe." Your words are heavy and painful as you sob them out.

"HELLO!" You heard Leonardo yell.

Before you had a chance to answer a light came from your gear. The communication line ending and sends an alert to the other mutant.

Footsteps could be heard from multiple beings. Talking and panic is heard as you stare at the broken roof with blurry eyes.

Raphael's face coming into view before anything else. If you weren't in so much pain you'd smile at him. Instead you stare as he picks you up gently. His words sound soft but melt in your head making them unknown. He holds you close and moves quickly. 

A whisper escapes you. "you came..." The statement soft and broken from your lips. The only evidence he heard you being the tilt of his head as he stares with worried eyes.

You held on tightly to your consciences. You held on for however long it took to be laid on a table. Long enough to have something put over your face. Long enough to feel a hand pet your head slightly as your eyes finally close.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It hurt. Everything hurt. Your eyes flutter open, but they're unfocused.

"They're awake!" You heard someone yell.

You flinch at the noise. A whine escaping the back of your throat from the pain.

"Be quiet. They're not going to react well to loud noises." You heard another voice scolds matter-of-factly.

You huff out heavy breaths. You try sitting up only for a large hand to, gently, hold you down. You blink several times to try and see better. Figures, shapes, and colors bounced around but nothing appeared sensical. 

"How are they?" A voice says nervously and stern at the same time. Their footsteps stop towards you.

The hands that were moving on and around you pause for a moment before an answer. "They're discombobulated."

"What the hell? English, Donnie." The voice answers.

Your voice is scratchy and comes out in squeaks. "Don- Donnie?"

Your question goes unanswered, but you were glad you finally knew who one of the voices belonged to. You were with Donatello.

"They had a head injury, so their brains jumbled. They can't see straight... At least we can be sure that they can hear fine." He answers with distaste.

A hand sets itself on your head and plays with your hair. The voice above you talks nervously. "So shouldn't we be talking to them? They're probably so scared right now. Aren't you?"

You realize that the end was directed at you, but you lost the energy to answer. You tried to speak, but nothing came out, as if your body didn't agree with your mind."

"Mikey’s right," The deep voice spoke. "We need to comfort them right now."

You wanted to tell them not to force themselves. That you knew they were only here because you were hurt. That once you were better they'd go back to the way it was before. But you couldn't speak, and the feeling of actually being cared for felt so nice.

The weight in your chest may have been painful, but it felt so good to be loved. If your head wasn't so fuzzy you might have cried.

Your name was called, almost urgently. You hadn't realized you weren't listening. So caught up in your own head that you forgot to listen.

You looked slightly to the person calling out to you.

"You still in there, kid? Lost ya there for a second huh?" You could hear the smile in his voice.

That was Leonardo right. He's the one to smile when things are bad. That means the deep voice was Raphael... All four of them were there for you.

You wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. Maybe you were imagining things?

"You need to relax. Your heart rate is spiking..." Donatello tells you strictly.

Raphael's voice picked up from the foot of your bed. "Don, I don't think they can necessarily control that... Y'know?"

"Sigh," Donatello answers him. "I'll fix it myself."

You felt the bed adjust, setting you up slightly. You felt his hand on your arm fiddle with something sticking out of it.

You felt calmer, almost, instantly. Surprisingly, your vision cleared slightly. Things still blurred but you could make out their faces so much more.

A crowd of turtles that left no space to see what room you were in. The lights still felt too bright, yet they were dimmer than any room you’ve been to. The blue lights gave you more of a clue. The screens lights bouncing and reflecting off the men. Was this Donatello’s lab? It had to be.

With your eyes now clearer you were able to hold them onto the figures separately. Their blurred faces held concern, fear… It was definitely a sight.

“You feelin’ better?” Raphael asked sweetly. He loomed over the edge of the bed, yet still he managed to keep a distance.

Despite the medicine making you feel better your head and chest still layed heavy on the bed. The only response you could manage was a broken noise from the back of your throat.

Leonardo laughs sadly. “Y’know maybe we shouldn’t ask them too many questions, heh.”

If you could shake your head in agreement you would. The other three certainly did, or at least it looked like they did. 

You took a deep breath in and out letting everything sink into your skin, into your bones. You had your own list of questions you wanted to ask them. Like, how bad is the damage? Why are all four of you here, there’s more important things to do? Did any of the others live?

You could feel all four eyes on you. Feel them stare like you were the only thing worth looking at. It confused you, so you turned your eyes to the only one who you knew had all the answers, Donatello. 

“Right, well I suppose you want answers. Yes?” He asked, oddly nervous. “Where to start,” he whispered to his screen before sighing. “You have a major concussion, obviously, you have two broken ribs, a broken leg, a sprain in your right arm, you have large lacerations on your abdomen, and you had punctured one of your lungs.” He lists off easily. “All of which have been cared for, however you will be immobile for quite a while. I estimate approximately 12 weeks and 3 days. Do you understand?” He asks you calmly.

You huffed at him, hoping he would understand that you were listening. He seemed satisfied with your response and went back to typing on the screen. Of course you were slightly confused by this as you hoped he’d elaborate on why they were all there.

Clearly noticing your confusion Raphael talks with guilt. “I think they’re confused on why we’re here…”

He says it like he can read your mind. 

“Why would they be confused about that?” Michelangelo laughs out shakily.

“Probably, because we’ve neglected them for years.” Donatello answers within seconds.

Leonardo being the next to speak, like they were taking turns. “We really fucked up that bad, huh kid?”

You couldn’t hold his gaze. The guilt was so evident on his face. You’d never imagined they’d realize what they’ve done. You pictured you’d grow into an adult and leave the Resistance without anyone knowing you were gone.

“Listen, I know- We know we should’ve done better for you…” Leonardo sighs. “You are just as important as everyone else. As the Resistance. As Casey Jr. I was always so caught up with him and being a leader I forgot that I had to be there for you. You always seem to have a hold on everything. Always seemed so sure. So confident… I never thought you might need help to. It was such a terrible mistake and I should have known better, should’ve been more and done more for you,” He leans over and grabs your hand gently. “I promise to never act like that again. I will never let anything hurt you like this. I will never leave you alone again. I swear on my life kid I will do anything, everything to make this up to you.” Tears from his eyes fell onto your clasped hands.

You couldn’t hide the shock from your eyes as you were crying too. It was like your body finally jump started and tears fell so freely.

“You were always so strong,” Raphael starts. “I don’t think any of us thought that our lack of attention would hurt you so much. You always shined so brightly on your own.” He chuckled sadly. “I never thought you’d need us so much, Jr’s strong too, but he relied on your mom more than you so when she died we- I thought you could handle yourself. You’d never seemed to waver. I’m so sorry.” 

The regret he held in his words weighed heavy on your mind causing more tears to fall from your eyes.

“My turn already?” Michelangelo laughed, tears in his own eyes. “Heh, I remember this one time I was talking to one of your group members, she seemed so excited to join your team. I remember I asked her what she was so excited for… It was you. She told me that she had seen you and your team fight. Saw how well you worked together, but she was mesmerized by you. She told me years ago she idolized me for my mystic abilities,” He laughs quietly. “But she admitted in this conversation that she idolized you even more. Because you were more like her than I was and your mystic abilities were so strong…” He pauses with a sad silence. “A part of that conversation fortified in my mind that you didn’t need anyone. You were able to figure everything out all on your own. Lead your own team. Fight and save lives like a pro. I should have taken into perspective your feelings. I used to be so good at feelings, but it seems I’ve lost my way a little bit. But I promise not anymore. You’re never going to feel left out again. I guarantee it!” He ends off happily

Silence fills the room. The only thing truly heard was the buzz of machines and various sniffles.

The silence was cut off again by Raphael. “Donnie… Are you going to say anything?” He asked both encouragingly and authoritatively.

“Sigh.” Donatello stated tiredly. He turned to face you more. “I’m not good with emotions. They were never something I could grasp fully. I’ve worked hard on fixing that, but I see in some areas I have… failed. I personally assumed if you needed help you would come to me, however looking back it’s clear you had and I pushed you away.” He states uncomfortably. “As an adult I should have been more prepared and I wasn’t… You were just a child, you are a child, and you’ve experienced so much on your own. I can assure that we plan on remedying that.” He ends sincerely.

After listening carefully to all their words your heart swelled with happiness. You were still afraid that they may not be true, but you were hopeful and so glad to finally be seen. The love you felt radiate off them in blissful waves made you smile. You forgave them as soon as their words left their mouths. As soon as they told you they cared. There was nothing better than feeling true love for what felt like the first time. You couldn’t help but be happy.

“Get some sleep, Kid,” Leonardo says. “We’ll be here when you wake up.”

[ficandkaboodle]

Vaginismus: Secondo x Fem!Reader

Author's Note: So . . . I'm already really bad at these types of things. But I think writing one of these on this type of subject matter is still important. Fanfiction is kind of a very rough place when it comes to acknowledging or writing for sexual disorders. On one hand, I am to assume this is because fanfic, by its very nature, is meant to be like wish fulfillment. Reader inserts are often meant to be the representations of the best versions of ourselves. But . . . I dunno, I feel like that can only go so far when you see representations of all kinds of disorders or issues or even complete non-issues. And yet virtually nothing is ever made with people who have conditions like vaginismus or whatever in mind. I love a good smut but sometimes, reading stuff makes me flinch inward and all I can focus on is the pain I would be in from even a pinky tip trying anything. I just think it's important to try and remind people that PiV isn't the only way to "get stuff done" and that it should be okay if that's a struggle for you. Some people can work their way out of the condition, and some people never do. And I think it should be okay to write about it because all too often it's easy to forget that or feel like you've lost out on being loved or understood over something that, in the grand scheme, is so silly. And since I have the condition and there's a chance I may never get out of it thanks to my fucked up noggin, I think this should be an opportunity to write about it. Hope I did okay. There might be more to follow . . .

Word Count: 2394 CW: Vaginismus and all the lovely self-loathing it entails, reader has a vagina, references to aspects of BDSM ig, MDNI

In your defense, you didn't think it would go this far. Certainly, one could argue that Secondo was a serious man: He wasn't prone to playing with food that wasn't absolutely his to consume. But you supposed you had forgotten that, or maybe you were just high on the the arrogant assumption that you might be a special case. Or maybe it just slipped your mind to intervene when the teasing glances, subtle and overt flirtations, and little talks between you kept going and going and going until --

Now look where it had gotten you: Sat in the office of the most intimidating Emeritus brother, a packet of documents lying on the desk before you, along with an elaborate green and silver fountain pen.

Secondo preferred to use contracts when it came to his potential bedmates he had a particular eye for. Ones he had an especial intention of keeping closer. Longer.

To many, this was an absolute honor. You knew plenty of siblings that would probably kill to be in your place. And as you sat wordlessly before both Papa and his documents, you contemplated throwing yourself onto those swords.

It would certainly be quicker and less painful than ducking out after coming this far.

You could picture it: St. Andrew's crosses, leather, hot wax searing deliciously into your skin, his sharp voice directing wicked degradation before salving you with praises. All the scrumptious things Papa II had gained a notoriety for indulging. You would gladly eat it all up and beg for seconds and thirds.

But you couldn't stop it there; it had to go further. Nobody just. Stops there. Nobody normal, anyway.

The problem was that you didn't consider yourself normal. Which was what made imagining him getting into position all the more mortifying even if in concept. You could picture yourself trying to convert the anticipation you were meant to feel from one of nerves into one of bliss but it doesn't matter. You try so hard to relax and be in the moment but it's a terrible moment!

You'd heard Secondo was blessed. The idea sat in your stomach while its surroundings shriveled in fear and constricted to an uncomfortable degree. Hell, it wouldn't even matter if he were the opposite of blessed: It would all hurt the same. It would still feel as though a needle were shanking its way into your most intimate parts, piercing onward until it struck your lungs and took the oxygen right out of you. And that would only be the beginning of it.

And just thinking that was enough to make the mask slip.

You prayed to Lucifer that the sound of you wordlessly nudging the papers and pen closer to Secondo would somehow be enough to disguise the whimper paining your throat. Unfortunately, it was not.

Your already throbbing stomach somehow made enough room to swallow your heart when you saw the older man's brow quirk.

"Something the matter, Sorella?" His voice, the one you'd grown to swoon into after all these passing weeks, made you want to flinch now. Fuck. You could feel your resolve slipping through your fingers like sand and creating further mess. You just needed to keep it together --

"N-no," you forced out. You tried not to dwell on how tight your voice sounded or how it even hurt just to utter that. A complete opposite to how smooth and natural it had been when you answered his invitation to his office earlier. You weren't even sure why you hadn't expected this to be the reason for such a request. You were so naive then . . .

You tried to push through the pain, tried add on, "I'm just --" but stopped almost immediately. You had no idea what to continue with. Fuck, you were fucking this up so badly! You seriously began to contemplate just standing up and leaving, but then where would that get you?

You still lived here, in the Abbey. Avoiding a Papa was virtually impossible at the end of the day. There was no way you two could carry on as though nothing had ever happened -- the flirting, the gazes, all that junk . . . Oh, Satanas, would you need to relocate? Uproot the life you'd finally managed to create for yourself here, sent off somewhere else just to hide the humiliation of what you were and what you had or hadn't done?

Satan, why did it feel so hot in here? Was that why the air suddenly feel like it was only oozing into your lungs with difficulty?

Clearly, Secondo did not take the silence well. His lips pressed into a thin line. "If I have insulted you, Sorella, I deeply apologize." No . . . "I thought you were aware of my practices." No!! He reached a large, ringed hand out to pull the items back towards him. And somehow, that was the final straw, the final snap before the dam collapsed.

It was like watching your last chance for something being taken away from you, even of your own accord! In fact, it was exactly that: Something you knew was necessary but it didn't have to be that way but fuck, your body and mind were at odds with each other and making it your problem and --

You hadn't even noticed that you'd turned into a crying, hiccuping mess, much less one that talked. It was only when you could see through your tears an actually surprised-looking Secondo (he was capable of shock?!) that you comprehended just what sort of state you were in.

And if it was enough to make the most emotionally constipated man in the Church look disquieted, then you must've been in a sorry state. The room only felt more hot as the burn of embarrassment enveloped you. You hoped it might even consume you in a full-throttle case of spontaneous human combustion as you struggled to swallow back up everything you'd just done.

"I-I-" you hiccuped wetly. It was so hard to formulate words underneath his gaze, which he never took off of you even as he reached for a box of tissues to offer you. You knew it was one of concern, searching for traces that maybe you needed help he couldn't offer you. But for the state your mind was currently in, it twisted it into one of disgust; like maybe all those affections he might've held for you an hour ago were being replaced with ones where all he saw was a madwoman.

It was almost too much. But it was also too late to go back now, wasn't it?

"I . . . My body doesn't work right," you finally admitted in a croaked murmur. Your eyes flew down to your lap in shame, watching your hands twist and tear at the wet tissues you'd just used. "It's a condition. Like my body clenches up down there at the mere thought of penetration. So . . . So sex is off the table, basically. I'm s-sorry . . ."

God, it sounded all so lame when you said it like that. But what else could you really do? How could you communicate to him the physical and mental pain it all caused you? How could you get across to him the embarrassment that came with pap smears, the shame you felt when recognizing how behind your peers you were? Would he sympathize or pity you if he learned that on a good day, you could get the very tip of a well-lubricated q-tip in and have to consider that a victory?

You weren't able to even formulate such thoughts, let alone predict how he might feel besides, perhaps, disappointment. Maybe even disgust.

Secondo liked the finer things in life, after all: How must he feel, knowing he'd wasted so much time and energy on something that was actually broken the whole time?

"I . . . I'm so sorry." At this, your fidgeting froze, your mind beckoning for you to glance up even the slightest. In doing so, even from such an awkward angle, you could see your Papa's expression remain nearly unchanged from before. It was still worried for you, though now with a touch of something more. "I can't imagine how difficult a spot you must've felt you were in . . . And for that, I apologize."

You gave a wobbly expression born of appreciation but also acknowledging the silliness of the sentiment. You gently huffed at the absurdity, "Don't apologize, you couldn't have known." A soft shrug allowed you to upright your position better. "If anything, I'm the one that should apologize. I should've said something in the beginning . . ."

At this, the older man shrugged back. "Perhaps, but I also can understand how uncomfortable that might've made you feel. Telling someone something so intimate can be difficult. Especially if it is like . . . Well." He gestured between the both of you.

You gave the smallest of chuckles (albeit, out of a desperate need to tenderize the mood) as you twisted the shredded pieces of napkin in your lap once more. Yet again, your eyes diverted from their connection with his. "Yeah, well, at least you would've known whether or not to waste time on me."

At that, the mood seemed to slightly change. You didn't feel threatened, but you knew that the breed of seriousness had shifted somewhat. Almost reprimanding. The eyes of Papa Emeritus II were just as intimidating out of the papal paints as they were in them, it seemed.

"I can assure you, Sorella," his normal nature of calmness returned, all traces of hesitancy from moments ago completely evaporated. "I don't see any of the time or what we've done together as a waste. If you have had any partners in the past that might've felt the opposite, then I sympathize greatly with you. But I also know that means you have no experience with anyone worth your time. That is, perhaps, the most disappointing thing of all here."

Damn. What do you even say to something like that? What could you say to something like that? Under normal circumstances, you might've argued in unfortunate defense of past failed connections, pinning the blame on you. After all, that's what made the most sense. or at least, it had. Until now, with the metaphorical mirror being propped up before you by one insistent Papa.

The room fell into silence as you searched for a response -- if you even needed to make one.

"Do you still want me?"

You almost jolted. You hadn't been expecting that to be what broke the silence.

"I . . . Well, yes. Of course I do, Papa." And you did. But . . . "But I don't know if --"

"I didn't ask for specifics, piccolina. I asked you: Do you still want to be with me?"

You struggled with a punctuated inhale. "Yes."

He hummed single low note before taking back the documents and pen. You watched curiously (and perplexedly) as he began to scribble and draw lines at seemingly random places. After what had felt like an eternity, he finally slid the packet back to you.

"Take a look. It's the roughest of drafts, of course, but we can properly revitalize it as needed. If you wish to make further retractions or additions, I give you the freedom to apply them."

Your brow furrowed as you picked up the papers for inspection. Of course, your eyes were immediately drawn to the instances of green ink that now freckled the paragraphs but you took especial time dialing it back and reading in full what these adjustments were meant to even mean.

Acts concerning penetration had been removed or adjusted as necessary, acts concerning outercourse or fondling had been either emphasized or added and asterisked.

"But . . . But Papa, I can't ask you to take away from your own pleasure," you objected. It was bad enough you'd strung him along, even if he argued that you hadn't. This was still quite a lot to grapple with in under ten minutes.

At this, Secondo cracked the first hint of amusement he'd had this entire session. He smirked as he reclined back in his hair. "And what, pray tell, makes you think I wouldn't derive pleasure from doing any of these things, piccolina?"

Porn, smut, the stories kiss-and-tell Siblings would often share in the cafeteria or in the hallways or the quad. Reddit posts.

"Well, I mean," you tried to argue. "They were there for a reason, weren't they? You enjoy those things." You ignored how the smirk on his face only seemed to grow. Hm. Maybe your words didn't have as much umph to them as you'd thought? Still, you continued. "A-and besides: I can't imagine you'd get off as easily from --" You glanced down at a word he'd scribbled in. " -- thigh jobs."

The low chuckle that rumbled from his chest settled your failure of a one-sided debated.

"Oh, Sorellina: You have much to learn about my proclivities," he sighed. "I understand that what the others might talk about may paint a certain picture of me. But I can assure you, any lover worth his salt should know that just shoving their dick into something is far from the end all, be all."

"And besides." The chair squeaked as he leaned in, hands folded on the dark wood of the desk. "It takes a true lover to relish in pleasure's many forms. I am more than happy to show you this, if you will let me."

It didn't matter that you had heard him say and gesture far cruder things: Just the words coming from his lips -- lips you had craved the taste of ever since your first sampling mere days ago -- coupled with the sincerity of his unbreaking eye contact. Your face was once again awash with a heat, a pleasant one born from blush.

You wanted to let him. You'd let him do whatever he could with you. You just needed to . . . let him.

Your body made picking up the pen feel weightier than it could've possibly been. But in a way, you were used to it: You were used to fighting your body and mind, always losing the battle so that they and their anxieties could be pacified while the other parts of you remained barren. Unsatisfied, with the conviction that it was only your burden to bear.

You didn't want a story to tell or even a milestone to complete so that you could better fit in with your peers: You just wanted to be understood. Or at least, like you wouldn't get left behind, chained by your own body and mind's complications.

As you stared at the green ink that formed your name on the pristine white paper, you felt a tightness in your throat. Never before had you felt so liberated . . .

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

It’s me again, the Norm anon. I wanted to build upon your recent comment about Norm and Hank’s dynamic in the show.

The thing that stood out to me in the show was when Hank put Lucy in the little closet when Moldaver and the raiders attacked. He said “you are my world” to her and I immediately thought to myself, well what about, Norm? You have a whole other kid that you don’t seem to be nearly as close to or even worried about after this absolute massacre.

I think he saw Lucy as being the perfect successor of what Vault Tec wanted for their descendants. She followed the rules, was positive to a fault, active and involved in various activities, clubs and the community. Maybe it was also because she reminded him of her mother because despite what all did, he did love her at one point.

Whereas Norm had problems wherever he went seemingly. Despite him having all the real qualities of a Vault Tec employee that you see behind the scenes, pulling the strings: someone who is perceptive, calculating to the point it is almost manipulative and has what it takes to make those gritty decisions that others would be shocked about (i.e. suggesting they kill the remaining raiders).

I honestly think that between Lucy and Norm, he is the one that is most like Hank. The real Hank that was helping take part in this whole Vault Tec experiment.

I just love seeing stuff with the Vaults and their community so it’s a shame that we didn’t get more of Norm in the first season and his dynamic with Lucy and their father. But he will definitely be a big player in the coming season. Definitely underestimated black sheep.

I think you’re gonna be bringing a level of angst and realism to this that’s gonna scream “porn WITH plot.” Super excited.

This got buried underneath newer submissions in the inbox, and I've been whittling away at like ten asks at once, so sorry for the delay in my reply, Anon. I seem to remember this being sent in just a bit before Shoot The Moon came out, so I hope you've gotten a chance to check it out since then! I really am very proud of it.

As to your comments about Norm's dynamic with Hank, I was really excited to dig more into it! I did try to keep it as more of a building, below-the-surface tension for most of the piece, because I wanted the focus to be on the romance and Norm's deep sense of self-doubt (largely accrued through years of being treated as second fiddle or literally forgotten about much of the time). I think that's what their whole relationship would be like: just a shit ton of unspoken resentments on both sides, swallowed down for the sake of nicety and appearances.

That line in the show really sealed that thought for me, honestly. Like, sir, what do you mean she's "your world"? Do you even know where your son is right now? Are you certain he's okay? Lucy was the person who hid Norm away to make sure he was safe because their father was too busy.

Hank absolutely sees Rose in Lucy, we couldn't agree more on that. I'd even go a step further and say that Hank sees Lucy as basically another version of her mother, one who he can control more easily and ultimately utilize for whatever purpose he saw for Rose. I highly doubt Hank MacLean views either of his children as full-fledged, independent people, only as potential means to meet his goals. Therein lies the root of why he treats them so differently; sure he may hug both kids, talk to them both, play dad. How bad would it make him look if he made it blatant just how much he favors one child to the other? He's supposed to be the upstanding leader of the Vault community, so he also has to appear to be the world's best dad.

However, at the end of the day, Norm's not as pliable, and therefore not as useful to Hank. He also isn't especially impressive on any front that his father cares about, so he also has no use for him as a way to make himself look good. Hank is completely blind to the fact that his son is more like him than his daughter will ever be (a dangerous underestimation of how calculating and tactical Norm can be when he really applies himself). Norm is essentially a son-shaped prop Hank trots out when he needs him. Make no mistake, though; the moment Lucy crosses him, she's demoted to the same position in her father's eyes. He only loves Lucy as much as he does because she's like a Rose who follows orders, and we all know what happened to the real Rose when she crossed him.

Like you, I'm definitely hoping to learn more about what folks' living experience in the Vault program is like in season two...honestly, if they're not gonna fill in the holes, I already have a ton of headcanons about Vault life ready to go. Every Vault is different, but it'll be interesting to see if they elaborate on how the "trio of sister Vaults" setup works, or was intended to work.

I hope Shoot the Moon was everything you wanted! I'd love to write more for Norm in the future. You and I seem to have a very similar vision of the MacLean family, so if you ever have more thoughts, don't hesitate to shoot them to me! Thanks for reading!