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candywife333 · 1 year

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Unexpected (A Tale of Grief): Part 3

Disclaimer: This story has yandere behavior, toxicity in loads, body shaming ,voyeurism, cursing/profanity, and questionable behavior. Also, the characters do not actually represent the personalities and behavior of BTS in real life. There is some dub-con in this part, so please be aware and do not read this if it is not to your tastes.

Lately I had been feeling odd, like someone was watching me. You know when you get that feeling that someone is gazing at you, that every one of your moves are being watched and scrutinized. This particular disconcerting sentiment did not leave me nowadays. I started feeling like a prey, whose meandering and frolicking through the woods was being observed from the shadows by a predator: one whose inscrutable identity could not be gleaned by a cursory gaze of the surrounding vicinity.

And to exacerbate these antsy feeling, my periods made the situation worse. Periods were always tough on me. I wish I could feel like other girls sometimes in that regard. My friends all had light periods that lasted 3-5 days. Mine was a nightmare of blood and pain that could only be alleviated by rest, hot pads, warm baths/ showers, and home-made savory foods. It lasted 7-9 days and every day would reveal unto me new tortures; whether it be bloating and aching breasts, or heavy bleeding with pelvic pain that radiated down my thighs and spine.

Due to the uncomfortable nature of my monthly “blessings”, I preferred to stay in my room most of the time and ask my professors for a sick leave of 1-2 days during my periods since they allowed it. Our college had a strict attendance policy for the most part. However, certain electives and classes were completely online and so we had no reason to show up physically.

After shrouding myself in a black ankle length skirt with a cozy forest green ruffled top tucked into it, I ventured out to the only real class I had for the day---Literature and Composition. Jungkook and his gang would attend, but since I never really had any interactions with any of them after the incident with Clara, I could comfortably just blend into the background of the classroom.

As I sat down in my usual seat, I could feel all the blood rush to the bottom of my pad. As usual, the waterfall of blood was unavoidable during periods and I briefly checked my behind to make sure nothing was leaking. Thankfully I was spared of such a travesty. Just as I took out my notebook, class commenced. As the professor droned on about rhetorical devices, I noted down the few key words which were vital.

Pleasantly occupied, I was startled out of my reverie when I noticed a hand, a rather vascular one which was settled on my knee. I almost yanked up my knee to the desk with a start. But I froze as I looked up to see dark fluffy hair framing dark doe eyes which sparkled with mischief, amusement, and a particular fervor---which I could not place.

I cleared my throat in horror, as I whispered to him, “Could you please let go of my knee? Do you need something from me? Perhaps something like a spare pen or sheet of paper?” He rolled his eyes and scoffed as he drawled out in a syrupy tone, “Why would you think I would talk to you just for supplies? A beautiful girl such as yourself deserves all my....undivided attention”. To my utter dismay and shock he continued kneading my knee, emitting warmth and a pressure foreign to anything I had felt in my life til now.

“Isn’t the pretty girl going to speak? Or is she mute, incapable of verbalizing what she needs?” I was almost frozen in place, unable to move his hand away as his hand crept up to encircle my upper thigh, now pinching and squeezing the available flesh underneath his touch. I squeaked out timidly, “Ummm....Could you please let go of m-m-me? I am not feeling well and I would appreciate it if you could keep your hands off me”.

The squeezing and kneading became more intense as his hands made their way up to my hip and stomach. Since we were at the back of the class, nobody else could see what he was doing. His hand pulled out my tucked in shirt. Once he caught sight of the plush flesh of my stomach he continued kneading my pudge underneath the shirt. I hated when people touched my stomach. It made me so uncomfortable, but something about the way he gazed intensely at the flesh as he did so quelled my discomfort. It almost seemed like he was keeping his fascination with it at bay, though I could have been misinterpreting it.

“Why are you not feeling well? Is it a stomach ache? Or is it the fact that you can’t stand having the hots for someone you can’t have?” I gazed at him rather startled and confused as I requested him in a whisper once again, “ Please take your hands off of me. I don’t want your attention. I’m sorry if I made you feel bad that day with Clara. But, she is my friend and my duty is to protect her from being taken advantage of in a vulnerable situation. I am sorry once again for interfering between her and you. I beg of you, please let me go.”

This time he seemed to heed my request, as he removed his big hand from my hip where it had rested idly. He smirked as a flicker of something devious flashed through his eyes. He sneered , “Of course, you had no right to interfere between I and your friend. But since you are apologizing so sweetly, why don’t you continue? Figure out what you are willing to pay in return for disrupting my evening with your friend.”

After a long silence, the class was at its end as he got up from his chair and said in a rather menacing tone, “What are you willing to pay for the grievous error you have committed ? You should know very well by now that prey like you should stay in its place. Since you have chosen to disrupt the natural order of how things work around here, you can pay up. It’s either going to be you or your friend, you decide.”

I stuttered out in a panic, “What do you m-m-m-ean by that? Me or my friend to pay what? To do what exactly?” He tilted my chin up with his index finger, as he bit out in a condescending manner, “I don’t even know how you were admitted to this school with such lacking intelligence. I mean to say that either you come to the next party we are hosting with the intention of either offering up your friend for me to do with as I will... or.....you can offer up yourself”.

The empty classroom felt even more intimidating as he leaned down to my chair and hissed, “You either get your friend drunk and wet for me to fuck, or you can come in her place instead. You can learn what happens when you mess with me.” His hand gripped my neck as he pressed his forehead with mine and breathed out, “Make your decision, and make it quick. You have till tomorrow evening”.

He released my neck and walked away so fluidly that nobody would have guessed he had been in the room for that long at all. Tears dripped down my cheeks as I felt mind numbing fear. The terror gripped my brain in a headlock. How could I do that to my friend? I couldn’t send him to her when she couldn’t even consent. That went against all my morals. But, the alternative wasn’t any better. I didn't want to give myself to him, a spoiled rich boy who had no care for me. I wanted to give my virginity off to my husband. I might be old fashioned in this world, but I wanted to give it to the right person who made me feel treasured and safe.

Not to someone who felt as though it was a right of his. Plus, I had the inkling that he was doing this to humiliate and demean me. He would probably make fun of my body during sex. I saw the vitriol in his gaze every time he stared at my body in disgust. He definitely touched me like he had before only to make me feel even more ashamed. My body had reacted unexpectedly though, to my abject horror. My period had already flooded me wet down there, but my subconscious arousal had made it worse. My nipples had tingled and I felt a twist in my lower stomach as his hand had crept up closer to my upper thighs.

The worst part of this entire situation was my arousal mingled with my disgust towards him and the amplified hate I felt towards my own body. And I could tell that I would have to give myself to him. I couldn’t sacrifice my friend like that. But the sacrifice would have to be me and I would be in utter hell. If I didn't comply with him at all, he would make my life in this college miserable. Him and his friends had enough power to make my existence a living nightmare.

My anxiety was choking me, as I could feel my breaths getting shallower as I started sobbing. He didn’t even know I had my period right now. I didn't want to see the repulsion that would inhabit his face. Why did he even want me? At all? I wasn’t very beautiful and I would be a bloody mess down there on top of that. And I never had sex, so I never really felt the need to groom extensively down there.

Just as I was going to completely submerge in panic, an idea clicked in my head. Of course, he wouldn't want me. Now that I thought about it, he clearly did not visualize what I would actually look like. So, if I came to him on my period , not groomed, and sort of like a slob----he wouldn’t want me anyway with all his exacting standards of how a woman should look. Maybe he was curious about me. But I could manipulate this situation in my favor and make him so disgusted he would stay away from me permanently.

A little comforted by this tiny thought, I decided to go to him as I am. He would probably have me out the door in seconds.

Tag list:

@darkuni63

#curvy reader bts #bts #yandere #yandere jk x reader #yandere x reader #body shaming #body positivity #curvy reader x bts #curvy reader x jungkook #chubby reader x jk #dub-con

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baekhvuns · 8 months

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SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING 😭😭😭😭 everytime I wanted to shoot you an ask I was like "I wanna write a longer message, so let me do it later" and yeah later turned out to be a looooot later WTF MY LAST MESSAGE WAS IN THE BEGINNING OF AUGUST 😮😮😮😮 how and when... time is not real seriously it's insane. What did you think happened to me? 😅

Lewis said NEVER LET THEM KNOW YOUR NEXT MOVE, he is craaaaazy. Hopefully it'll end well for him, but the fuck is he oooooon. My friend needs to be strong, keeping her in my thoughts & prayers, cause she DOES NOT fuck with Ferrari at all. Imagine if I had to support Barca or Tottenham 😅 Damn the news about Klopp shocked me, Liverpool is doing so well, I guess it's better to leave when you're still successful. It's a shame he feels burnt out, but I get him

Omg, graduation, my child Baeksussy is growing so fast! You'll be free from your Avocado Uni soon, excited, nervous?

Stop not the rom coms and thinking about me ahshsjshajaja, romance is not dead <3 Any interesting WIPs? I haven't read fanfiction in 100 years, actually I haven't read much at all, my brain is all rotten 🙃

I hope 2024 is better for everyone, but I don't have high hopes, lmao. I just wanna survive winter, still trying to beat seasonal depression before I enter my allergy era. I spent my birthday as well as NYE SICK AND ON MY PERIOD BECAUSE IT CAME A WEEK LATE.

Yeah the job in Seoul highkey scares me cause I haven't worked full time like that in a long time, but I need a lot of money and it can actually help me a lot. I'm trying to do something more with my life, but idk if I'll manage, I don't smoke nor drink anymore so how am I gonna cope??? The good side is that I'm getting a really nice apartment and a car too from the company 😌

Meeting Yuta again would be an achievement, meanwhile I saw some other NCT members and Mr Xiaojun like 5 times 😭 when I finally got an opportunity to talk to him he signed my pc <3 I alsl came across Changbin, Yeonjun and Dino once, and Itzy while they were filming something. I went to bunch of NCT concerts in the past few months, I still have more to attend including Ten's con FINALLY TEN SOLO!!! I also saw SVT, SKZ and a few smaller groups, my last one was Everglow a few days ago <3

I miss being a massive Shinestar, there were a few anniversaries of my fan calls with him recently and I got sentimental. But yeah I don't speak to that many hardcore Atinys anymore so I'm not up to date with Atz. It's pretty sad, but maybe it'll change in the future. On the other hand I prefer to be more casual. Casual... meanwhile I gave so much fucking money to SM IT'S SICKKKK. I enjoy kpop music-wise still, but you're right something is a bit off lately...

In my defense, hear me out: I've only spent like 3 days in Vancouver! I barely registered what was happening, cause my friend and I were helping her friend who was giving birth 😭😭😭 she was not supposed to give birth at that time 😬. So if you by any chance were also birthing a child at BC Women's Hospital then perhaps we met! I also remember going to a food place called The Naam I believe as well as one really good, yet tiny Vietnamese vegan one. Oh and I visited a university, not yours though, but imagine agsjdhsjsjajddjskh

But okay I deserve the lashings! So I'll be your euro guide once you visit the old continent 💜 - DV 💖

i responded to this ask FOUR times 😭😭😭 & gave up bc it won’t load (this ask from u is still so surreal)

6 MONTHS OF NOTHING I THOUGHT U WERE NEVER COMING BACK 😭😭😭😭 i actually genuinely thought something must’ve happened at your travel bc the last time u messaged me u said you were either hiking or in a jungle so no service or something and when u stopped responding i was like “omg the forest got to anon” 😭😭😭

he REALLY BE LIKE THAT ???? hoping he gets his 8th, id celebrate like i won it,,, but it also makes me think— this year abu dhabi would be the last time he’d driver as a merc driver, goes to ferarri w/ 100 million a year,,, possible free cars from ferarri -> retirement soon,,, THIS IS TOO MUCH MR MERCEDES U CANT GO 😭😭 LMFAOOO i cannot wait for ur friend to turn up in all red apparel ready for a therapy session, she a real tifosi LMAOOOOO no fr 10 years is a long time i get his situation as well + focusing more on his family, it would be crazy if he went to barca id probably die

this is so accurate

wait omg did u also hear about what horner might have done 😀 and the fact that he and newey have a contract where if one leaves, the other follows = which in my delusional tifosi mind can only say NEWRY TO FERARRI 2024/2025 FERARRI WDC HAMILTON 8TH TITLE LECLERC FIRST TIME WDC

Omg, graduation, my child Baeksussy is growing so fast! You'll be free from your Avocado Uni soon, excited, nervous?

no really! a little TOO fast everything’s a lil too fast 😭😭 free from avocado 😭😭 iM very nervous actually but i can’t wait to leave it so i don’t have to worry about assignments being due 8am in the morning or having any classes at that, gonna get a few tats and enter the real world 😭😭😭 this uni took years off my life

romance is not but i may be soon fbkafjak nO NONE WIPS 😭😭 just dreams that would seem very real if i were to convert into a wip,, im on the same boat as u, i just stopped reading (also probably bc so many authors also left) i read like those older ones once in a while to feel something

JCJCKCJCKC STOP THATS THE FUCKING WORST (also u might hAVE recently had ur birthday so happy belated birthday!!!!) do u ever have high hopes and then those hopes just fall to the pits of the earth <3

hopefully this job gives u loads of moolah $$ so u can travel to more places!! you’re going to sk and the drinking culture there anon 😭😭 them bosses would be pissed if you didn’t drink bfwmdbwk OH???? A CAR AND AN APART??? OKAY THIS IS BIG GIRL MONEY AND A BIG GIRL JOB WOAH ANON WHERE TF ARE U WORKING 🤚🏻 MF SAMSUNG???

this entire thing ‼️100% i have a few friends who i listen to the albums with when they drop one, engage in discussions abt the song choices and then go to the concerts just not a whole content type of person anymore idk if they’re doing some interviews or shows but i find out about it like a while later bc im just so out of the loop,, LMFAOOOO TO SM FHKWHDKWHDKW SM DOWNFALL HAPPENINGG something really is! idk maybe it’s like the star factor groups once used to have that’s just not existent as much? heard about teddy’s new gg & it looks very promising lots of star factors and an actual nepo baby but it’s likely not gonna be meeting up to the expectations

anon you gotta be fucking kidding me right now YOU WERE 15 MINUTES AWAY FROM ME IM GONNA ANBFMWFHWKDW COMBUST GET THE FUCK OUT ???? I WAS JCJCKCJ RIGHT MF THERE 🔫 omg is the friend okay?? the baby??? birthing a child (added to ur resume),, YOU WENT TO NAAM??? ITS SOO GOOD ISNT IT!!! i will give u my step (it’s like u add a bunch of restaurants or places you’ve been to, kind like a itinerary) account for foods in canada OR better yet u give me urs so i can be prepared 🫡

u must’ve visited the rival university, fuck them actually, it’s time u come to my jail or a university with its brutalism architecture <3 im gonna assume u went to the bc’s uni which sucks ass in my opinion, avocado uni was and is >>>> sorry like imagine u come to my uni and walk past me and then have the audacity to send me an ask “hey baek sussy i went to ur uni today!” AND I LOSE MY SHIT

But okay I deserve the lashings! So I'll be your euro guide once you visit the old continent 💜 - DV 💖

you absolutely do,, absolutely i cannot wait!! i might even go twice that year! AND GIVE U YOUR LASHINGS THERE it would be really funny if u take me to spain and it’s an el classico night..

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 3 years

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Miss Raven, may I have some reader platonic friendship headcanons with Idia, Riddle, Ruggie, Floyd, and Kalim? I really want to know what it generally would be like to be friends with them!

Curiouser and Curiouser...

A lot of your hang-outs are done remotely. It gives Idia more confidence to speak to you without showing his face. Usually you hold voice calls while you talk about random things, or playing an online multiplayer game while raging outloud to one another.

You have weekly anime binge or movie nights! To keep it fair, you take turns picking something new to watch every time you finish with the last thing.

Idia’s very opinionated about the media he consumes. When he gets in the mood to gush and/or rant, expect to be up listening to him until 3 am (with barely any pauses to allow for you to comment).

The few times you’ve met in person, Idia really struggles to make conversation. More often than not, he hunches over in his hoodie and frantically texts you what he wants to say... even though he’s already standing right next to you.

Of course, you attend geeky cons together, like all otaku do! You stay up together for hours the night before, mapping out the quickest routes between panels, which artists and vendors you want to buy from, and which guests you want to sign your faces.

Riddle’s like your personal alarm clock. He somehow always remembers important dates and deadlines, and makes sure you never forget them, either!

Riddle is the friend that’s responsible for arranging hang-outs. Everyone else gets too lazy to coordinate schedules or to find a location everyone would have no problems reaching, but Riddle does so with ease. He has spreadsheets, polls, and maps primed for this very purpose!

He can be naggy and a worrywort at times. Riddle brings along everything and anything you could possibly need on an outing (umbrella, water bottle, bug spray, first aid kit...), because you can never be too prepared!

He follows the rules, and makes sure that you do, too. Riddle’s the type of person to hold his arm out in front of you to prevent you from jaywalking (even when there are clearly no vehicles coming your way).

You know you can count on Riddle when you need advice! He may not be knowledgeable on everything, but he has a good head on his shoulders and can talk some sense into you while you’re having an emotional moment.

Ruggie’s hard to pin down. He always has his hands full of part-time jobs, so finding a time when he’s free to hang out is a challenge.

He prefers to do things that won’t cost him money (or, if they cost money, only when someone else is footing the bill for him). His favorite things to do with you? Just running around in a park or playing a team sport.

Ruggie shows up to any gathering with food, siphons as much as he can (even bringing containers to take food home with him), and then peaces out. Whenever you eat at a restaurant with him, the most Ruggie will do is drink the free water and eat the free bread, or ask to taste “a little” of what you ordered.

He’s one of the most loyal friends you’ll ever have! Ruggie sticks with you through thick and through thin, and he’s definitely willing to lend a helping hand to whatever problem you might be facing (... but he’ll also hand you an IOU later).

Ruggie’s the moodmaker of your friend group. He doesn’t necessarily always have a joke, funny story, or a bad pun on hand, but he’s always smiling or laughing, and encouraging you to do the same!

Floyd’s the flaky friend! You could spend an eternity arranging a date and time for a hang-out, but there’s a 50% change he won’t show up, even if he agreed to it beforehand.

He’s always causing trouble, which, by association, also gets you in trouble, too! You might be chasing after Floyd to convince him to attend class, only to realize that now you’re late for class, too! He also tends to bait you into doing stupid things with him by annoying you or hurting your pride until you cave.

It’s not uncommon for him to tease you. Unfortunately, the teasing goes a bit too far sometimes and ends up actually hurting you. At times like that, you give him a little scolding (though he might not listen anyway). It can be infuriating at times to be his friend, since he has his very high highs and very low lows.

Floyd likes to roughhouse He’ll greet you with a noogie or tackle you without any regard for his surroundings, or for your safety--he just wants to hug you hard!

He shows up at gatherings with unexpected guests (it could be his brother, it could be people he just picked a fight with--) or unexpected “gifts” (here’s a whipped cream pie for your face~). It’s always a mixed bag with him.

Kalim’s your (overly) enthusiastic, extroverted friend that’s always inviting you to out! He’ll walk with you to and from class, and invite you to hang with him afterwards. The arcade? Let’s go! A restaurant? Sure! Throwing a party this weekend? Heck yeah!!

He’s so rich that he’s a little out of touch with “normal” people’s budgets (like yours). Kalim will get you all these crazy expensive gifts for your birthday and not understand why your jaw drops, or he’ll ask if you want to join his family for a luxurious trip to a Pyroxene ski resort without first considering how taxing the cost may be for you.

Kalim’s super generous and hospitable! He offers you tons of food when you hang out, lets you pet his (many) pets, and lets take as many flowers as you want from his garden... He really spoils you!

Since he has had servants taking care of him his whole life, Kalim can’t do a lot of common things like wash rice or clean his room--so even though he’s almost an adult, he’s really considered the “baby” of your friends group. It’s up to you to stop Kalim from adding dish soap to wash his rice!

He’s always looking on the bright side of things! When the chips are down, you can turn to Kalim’s optimism to shine a ray of sunshine onto you. He may not have advice on how to make your situation better, but he can offer a smile and a dance to lift your spirits so you can think more clearly!

#twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland headcanons #Floyd Leech #Riddle Rosehearts #Idia Shroud #Kalim Al-Asim #Ruggie Bucchi #Reader #self insert #curiouser and curiouser #disney twisted wonderland

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chelleztjs18 · 3 years

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Lost in Assistance - Ch. 3

Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader

GIF: I do not own this GIF. Found it on gifimage.net

Summary: Y/n is a professional celebrity's personal assistant in Hollywood got hired with two years contract to be the assistant of the famous and talented Elizabeth Olsen / Lizzie by her manager. Both Y/n and Lizzie hate each other since day one, and they have mutual friend. One is as stubborn as the other, will Y/n stay when Lizzie gives attitudes and tries her best to make her quit before the contract ends?

Warning: fluff, angst, smut (in future chapters), swearing words ( +18 only)

All chapters

It's the day before the meeting between Y/n, Mitchel with Jane Vernon and Lizzie. Lizzie has to come by to her manager's office. She's wondering why can't they just discuss it through the phone but it's her day off anyway so she doesn't mind having a quick meeting that she actually already has an idea what this meeting is about. After she parked her car at her special spot that's not easily found or noticeable by the paparazzi, she got into the elevator and went up to floor 48 where Jane's office is.

"Good morning Miss Olsen. Mrs. Vernon is in her office room. She's having a video conference but she said you can just go in and wait inside. Can I get you something to drink?" Jane’s assistant greeted her and his hand gestures gave Lizzie a sign to go in.

"Hi Aaron, yeah I have a quick meeting with Jane. I'll have a pumpkin spice latte from the coffee shop in the lobby please.Thanks." She smiled and went into the office room.

Lizzie walked in right on time as Jane just got done from the video conference.

"Lizzie! Good morning sweety! Thank you for coming by." The brown haired lady in her late 30's stood up and came to Lizzie to give her a hug. "Hi Jane. Morning. Yeah no problem." Lizzie answered as she hugged her back then both of them had a seat facing each other separated by a big mahogany colored office desk. Lizzie slid her sunglasses up and rested it on her head and put her purse aside on the other chair.

"So the reason I asked you to come here is to discuss getting you a personal assistant." Jane started the conversation but Lizzie pinched the bridge of her nose since she already knew this was the reason for the meeting.

"It was my mom wasn't it that asked you to talk to me again about this? I thought I already told you that I don't need one. I'm already comfortable with you. We work well together. You know me very well, and I know how you work too." Lizzie tries to explain her point again.

"Well, it wasn't really all your mom behind this meeting, I thought I needed to talk with you again in person about this. I love the way we work together too. I love to manage everything for you. I totally understand your point but.."

A knock on the door interferes with the conversation. It's Aaron. "Excuse me, sorry but here's your coffee Miss Olsen, also your mom is here. She said she has an appointment with Mrs Vernon to join the meeting." Lizzie right away turns her head around in confusion and sees Jarnett come in. "Mom? What are you doing here?" Despite her confusion with why Jarnett is here, she still stands up to give her mom a hug.

"Hi honey, oh I'm just here to talk with you and Jane more about the personal assistant." Jarnett answered as she took a seat as soon as Lizzie moved her purse onto her lap from the other chair. "Mom, Jane, I already told you both I don't think I need one. I'm not comfortable adjusting with new people when we can actually solve the problem in different ways." Lizzie said with a little firm tone.

"Liz, I understand but with your upcoming filmings for different movies in a row in the next few years and that means there'll be a lot more press, interviews, comic cons, shows and a lot more other stuff. It means I will be way busier than I am now with all the major stuff. If you have another personal assistant, all of your other minor needs and stuff will be handled, she can probably even help me so everything will go smoother and easier for you, for all of us." Jane explained her point enthusiastically that can be seen from her hand movements when she was talking.

"Jane is right Liz. I mainly care about you getting everything you need when you are busy and help you manage/prepare the other minor things" Said Jarnett, helping Jane to prove her point.

"Let's say we don't get the new assistant, we can adapt it through online or phone. You can let me know way in advance whatever I need to know and vice versa. It's like how we have been doing but we do it way in advance. It's that simple. I meant, I'm an adult now, I can do this." Lizzie replied persistently. "I don't think it will work that way even though it does,it won't last that long." Jane said.

"I think if you have your assistant that's only focused on you, it will help you. I know you don't feel comfortable and give you anxiety when you have to adapt or deal with new people but can you at least give it a try, hun? Trust me it will make your work and filming easier. At least if it works, this can add acquaintances or even maybe new friends in your circle. We never know until we try. Jane has a good friend who knows a professional assistant. She was even impressed when she briefly saw her resumé." Jarnett tries to persuade her daughter as smoothly as she possibly can , knowing it's the only way to handle her daughter's persistence. Jarnett knows how her daughter can sometimes be very pertinacious.

"Yes Liz, please give it a try for some time. If it really doesn't work out then we'll go your way. I promise it will be only temporary." Jane pitched her last try to convince Lizzie.

"Wait wait wait! Her? So you guys actually already found someone even though I haven't agreed on anything yet about this matter? Did you hire her already?" Lizzie tilted her head, her eyes squinted and her mouth was slightly opened, making it clear that she is puzzled with what is going on.

"Weeeell, yes but not really. I meant, we will meet her tomorrow to finalize the contract and everything. I arranged your schedule and squeezed it in. I just want you to meet her to break the ice. My good friend who owns a Hollywood personal assistant agency said that she is the best one he got and you will love having her as your assistant. The meeting will take place here at 10 A.M. So, I'll see you tomorrow morning Liz?"

Lizzie sighed in defeat knowing she won't get away with this. "How can I say no when you guys are ganging up on me like this? Alright, I guess I have no choice. I'll see you tomorrow. I gotta go now. Love you both." She pouted and stood up planning to leave for she has no other reason to stay longer in the meeting today. She gave Jarnett and Jane a hug goodbye.

Little do they know, in her mind, Lizzie is still trying to find a way to get what she wants.

"Hey, what are you up to? I need to talk with you. I need your help to figure out some stuff. Do you have time to meet me?" She texted her best friend as she left the office towards the elevator.

“ Yo, what’s up? Yeah sure. Tomorrow at noon? We can meet up for lunch. Everything okay?” Her best friend’s text popped up at the same time as the elevator’s ding.

“Yeah but not really. You don’t have time to meet me today?” She replied while she is in the elevator that sometimes makes weird machine noises.

“Sorry babe, I’m really drowning with my errands. Have to get a lot done today. I promise I’ll see you tomorrow.” Lizzie groans in irritation after reading the reply. “Okay then. See you tomorrow.” She replied then got into her car.

She sighed, part of her is upset with the situation and another part of her is having the anxiety to adjust with new people. She is definitely not happy and not looking forward to attending the meeting tomorrow morning.

Ch. 4

#elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x reader #lizzie olsen #lizzie olsen reader #lizzie fanfic #lizzie olsen fanfic #elizabeth olsen fanfic #scarlet witch x reader #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff fluff #elizabeth olsen fluff #lizzie olsen fluff #enemies to lovers #enemies to friends to lovers #slow burn #fem reader

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cooloddball · 3 years

Text

Someone submitted something in my inbox and they wanted to remain anonymous. Since this is an extremely long essay, I will put it under the cut. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

xxx submitted: hey, i was the one who ask what do you think of Misha and Jensen's current relationship First off all thank you for your answear it means much to me cause im easy to be convice and this person who keep telling me that they are no longer friends can be so convicing, so I'm actully trying to forget what she said 😅 so I'm just writing a few. she said that since they no longer work together, they will forget about each other, and do their common things like the gay jokes, face touches ect. With other people, and neglect each other, don't talk to each other, and then meet new people who will replace the other. And and she talked about the gish thing, she said she sure they didn't talk since the end of the series, because Jensen didn't know where Misha was and Misha didn't know about the Radio Company vol 2 (but i saw people say that, they were just pretending, because Misha liked something about Radio Company Vol 2, before the gish live, so in theory he already knew then or something like that) and She said Misha wrote a poem about Darius not Jensen and now I will write down what she sent me : I saw a post about Jensen's current activities on social media, and I've come to the conclusion the only person he doesn't interact with is mish. Sadly this makes my break up theory even stronger. I feel like this is a goodbye to one of the biggest parts of my life. They've moved on from "uk what I haven't told you today? That i love u"+ from "miss my only jensen" from "i love u misha i mean it from the bottom of my heart" from "jensen has no flaws" from "misha is the funniest thing ever happened to me" from all that love and affection from everything they developed together and now they're apart leaving their lives like nothing happened and call me a dramatic but they both have the same energy now as someone has after a big break up. and Jensen comments on almost every of his friend’s post except Misha’s"+ Jenmish is genuinely the best thing that has ever happened in my entire life. I owe them literally everything. They're the reason i hold on. Unfortunately on this essay i have to start using past tense verbs for them, and i have to continue on that. I don't know for how long y'all been in spn fandom. But even if u joined one year before the show ended you'd know how close and intimate jensen and misha were. Everything about them was unmatched.+ The chemistry and how they just fit eachother. They had always been all over eachother. Like they were holding on eachother for dear life. They completed eachother and were like world's most powerful thing. They were the definition of soulmatism. No matter where, they ALWAYS kept interacting with eachother. Each possible tweet or insta post. On cons that the other wasn't there, the other one would bring up the othere's name for no absolute reason. +The looks and repeated love confessions. How invested they were both into eachother. The family they had built together cuz we know how close dee and mish are (look all the charity work they've been doing together recently). There are youtube videos to proof everything I've said so far.When i say break up, my real intention is that they've grown apart. Everything started in the the third or forth month of pandemic. Before than jensen used to interact +(comment mostly) on almost all of misha's posts. But after a while everything just stopped. At first personally didn't care that much. Bcuz I believed too much in them that I thought not even the gods above could separate them. I told myself maybe they spend long hours chatting or video calling and that's why online public interactions are gone. But as it passed it almost diminished to zero. Except some likes from jackles and eventual ones from misha there weren't anything else.+ We got absolutely no content and the show went off too. We were helpless and were sticking to everything we had Dee had a big social media shot down, so as jensen. Misha was busy with the election. We got some interviews for it with all of them. But we didn't get much.except remember both of them pulling a bff

move. and texted eachother during an online con where everyone else were dead-serious about politics? That flickered something in me. That showed me that+ they can't ever possibly let eachother go. And the times everyone else were talking and these too would just talk random things together (the one jackels had a white hat on with stacy abraham).And then Misha posted that for jensen's bday We really overlooked it. That shit was too intimate. To close. Fav march baby? U just don't go around and called ur bestie baby and when u mean it deeply. Especially not when ur friend is jensen ackles the "I suffered form internalized homophobia my whole life+ but fuck my wife's an angel and i have an angel bf too and another angel which is his wife but I'd rather die than come out cuz my asshole dad pulled a John winchester on me". It doesn't work like that. But uk how mish is. Carefree and open. I believe they got into a fight bcuz of this. He didn't even like the post. AND that was when the tiny bit of interactions we had was gone too. For a while jensen didn't even liked his posts. After a month it started again.What made me finally believe in that they had grown too+ far: I still remember the night misha posted that he and jensen were going to have a con for gish together. I remember how hard I cried. Lile the whole world was given to me. But deep down in my heart I knew that something would definitely happen. It didn't sit right with me and unfortunately my senses never lie to me. Jensen showed up at the wrong time bcuz of misunderstanding the time zones (this was HILARIOUS). That's not even my point.+ I've seen that interview 3 times so far. It always reminds me of when i saw my ex at a party and we were both so thrilled to see eachother and we still loved the other dearly, but we just couldn't work it out. Jensen and Misha's expressions were EXACTLY the same. The genuine smiles and longs pauses were they just stared at eachother. I'm so happy that it was online cuz if they actually gave that looks to eachother standing right next to the other one I would've collapsed. Misha didn't know that jensen's album+ was out. And he got so embarrassed when he found it out. He didn't know that jensen was on set and hadn't been home for 8weeks. Jensen had no idea where misha was. And this means that they hadn't talked in a long long time.When you're that close with someone for more than a decade, i mean THAT close, even if u're separated from eachother you'd at least check on the once a week, or at least once in two weeks. But it was vividly clear that they hadn't. I hate how this world works. They would always be in my heart.+ I would be thankful from them for everything. It hurts, and it won't stop and im so sure I'd be carrying this pain for a long time. They mean too much to a lot of us. Sometimes I think to myself that god i love them so much. Remember in 2019 when we used to get SO many jenmishdee interactions? That was LIT. It was THEE year for us. I hope they're doing good. I really do. I hope we don't get more proofs and I won't have to update this thread. Cuz my heart won't be taking it very+ well.Something i gotta add U may say that Jensen's busy and that's why he doesn't comment. But he comments on a lot of jared and his new costar's posts. So that's no excuse. So yeah that's it. I don't know what am I supposed to think. english isn't my native language, so sorry for the mistakes

Here is my response:

I don't know who this person who has been talking to is but I have to say they seem to be project their previous relationship experience on cockles.

I believe Jensen and Misha are okay and are together. Social media likes and comments don't mean anything. I mean it's not like Jensen or Misha used to comment on each other's posts before. Jensen didn't even wish Dee Happy Mother's Day this year, does that mean they are not together anymore? Nope. He has other best friends he has known for over 20 years like Jason Manns, Steve Carlson etc that he doesn't wish happy birthday, does that mean they are not friends anymore.

Please let's not put value on social media likes. I don't even follow my own family on sm and I don't always like or comment on my bf's or bff's posts on sm. So it doesn't mean anything.

As for the Gish Panel, I have talked about it before, the time Jensen was slotted to attend the panel, he was meant to answer fan questions. I honestly believe they decided to not do it at that time because they knew the questions would be about Destiel and not their new projects. If you watched that panel, Misha knew that Jensen's album was out as I pointed out. He was just trying to promote the album and soldier boy. He knew Jensen had also buffed out. It was all to promote Jensen. Anything else you hear is trolls and antis just being loud. Also don't forget Jensen called him "babe".

If Jensen and Misha weren't okay, he wouldn't have attended or participated all those panels Misha organized especially for Gish. Danneel also posts a lot about RA and likes Misha's posts. I am 100% Misha visited the Ackles when he went to Colorado last month.

Stop listening to trolls and/or antis or just people who are projecting and look at facts.

#submissions #cockles

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link4eva · 3 years

Text

Kiro’s S2 Company Project- Campus Youth Translation [CN]

Hi, everyone! Just a couple of notes before you begin reading. I don’t actually know Chinese so this translation was done through the power of Google Translate and with help from @keliosyfan. Thank you! 💛

This translation contains spoilers for Season 2 content which hasn’t been released to the ENG server yet. If you wish to not be spoiled, please don’t look below the cut.

Enjoy!~

*Spoilers below for future content!*

[Stage 1]

I’ve already graduated, but it feels good to be back at school.

At this moment, the conference room is full of people.

The woman sitting across from me was drinking water and putting down the thermos in her hand.

This very accomplished woman in front of me is a very reputable director and has a great reputation in many film festivals.

Not long ago we reached an agreement with this director--

A few months later, Kiro will be participating in a movie production involving friendship amongst youths on campus.

The director looked at Kiro next to me and said,

Director: As far as I know, Kiro has no experience of going to high school in China.

Director: Considering that every detail in our youth drama must be accurately portrayed….

Director: I propose that he go to the high school campus for a week to learn about high school life in China.

Director: At the end of that week, let’s discuss the experience of it.

After listening to the director’s suggestion, I fell into deep thought, and my fingers tapped on the table.

MC: If a star were to go to the campus to experience high school life for a week, will it cause “trouble” for the school and students?

Director: I have a friend in a private high school so we can call ahead and see.

Director: And this school holds great importance to the arts. I believe everyone will look forward to Kiro’s arrival. Of course, we will tell the students the exciting news in advance.

Director: With the students’ academic schedules in mind, I can only arrange a week.

MC: Sounds like a good idea.

I nodded slightly and looked at Kiro.

He put his chin in one hand and gave a silly smile.

Kiro: My thoughts are exactly the same as those of the director.

MC: Director, please arrange it.

MC: If you still need our cooperation, please feel free to let us know.

As soon as my voice fell, Kiro’s rang through.

Kiro: Director, I have a little suggestion~

Kiro: I hope that someone can be with me in addition to making it easy to shoot daily tidbits. And, in case any problems arise, they can also be handled promptly and properly.

After listening to these words, the director and I nodded in agreement.

Director: Okay, so do you recommend anyone?

Kiro gave a slight smile, and then those azure blue eyes fell on me.

Kiro: I think the most suitable candidate is….my boss!

After the director listened, she looked at me with a little astonishment.

My eyes widened slightly, and I couldn’t speak due to the surprise.

Kiro: Believe me, she is the best candidate.

Kiro: She is an excellent producer and is also very familiar with the shooting process.

Kiro: More importantly, she can handle various emergencies with her ability.

Kiro: With her, I feel at ease.

He stretched out his palm to calculate the “pros” of me a little bit. Seeing everyone’s eyes cast on me, I lowered my eyes to weigh the “pros and cons” of this plan.

Suddenly, Kiro bent over and came into my peripheral vision.

The golden hair that was swept down from his forehead swayed playfully, gradually occupying my gaze.

I raised my eyes to meet those bright eyes and heard him speak in a voice that only I could hear.

Kiro: MC, will you be my classmate?

(Cut to campus)

The moment Kiro and I walked into the school’s office early on Monday morning, the world suddenly became quiet.

I couldn’t help rubbing my ears; it felt as though the screams of the students were still echoing in my ears.

Unexpectedly, even though the exciting news was given in advance, the enthusiasm of the students was still overwhelming. *Changed some wording*

But looking at the familiar and unfamiliar surroundings, I couldn’t help sighing in my heart--

In the end, I still agreed to their suggestion “confusedly”...

Teacher: The formalities have been completed, so come with me.

A simple and powerful voice immediately pulled me back from my thoughts.

While I was following the teacher, the security guard turned towards Kiro beside me.

He was wearing a clean white shirt and pants for his school uniform. Even his golden bangs were slicked back. *Changed some wording*

The sun fell on his hair, spots of light scattered over it.

Seeing that I was about to arrive at the classroom, I had to withdraw my eyes somewhat reluctantly.

(Cut to the classroom)

The moment we walked into the classroom, all the students turned their eyes towards Kiro. As if they couldn’t contain their excitement, they whispered amongst each other.

Student A: Ah, it’s really Kiro!

Student B: We’re so lucky that he came to our class!

Teacher: Students, be quiet!

The teacher knocked hard on the table, but the students still couldn’t hold back their excited chatter.

Teacher: No matter how excited you are, you have to listen to the introduction of your new classmates.

The teacher seemed to understand the mindset of the students very well, and as soon as the voice fell in the classroom, it was silent.

Teacher: Classmates, please introduce yourselves.

Kiro took the lead in taking a step forward, showing a bright smile.

Kiro: Hello, everyone. I am Kiro.

Kiro: Because of work, I now want to spend a week as a student here with everyone.

Kiro: So, please forget my previous “identity”. I am just your classmate now.

Kiro: I hope I can spend a very happy week with you. Please give me your guidance.

Kiro seemed to have made an agreement and lowered his eyes.

I don’t know if it was because Kiro’s voice was magical; the students nodded obediently and slowly calmed down.

But soon their curious eyes fell on me. I gave a smile and said,

MC: Hello, everyone. I’m MC. Please give me your guidance for this coming week~

After the ceremonial applause was over, Kiro and I sat in the last row of empty seats.

As soon as I sat down, a few crisp claps came from the direction of the podium.

Teacher: Students, the annual art festival will soon start.

Teacher: We will also give a performance and decorate the campus in accordance with tradition.

Teacher: I heard that Kiro loves music very much. He will be responsible for this year’s art festival. Do you have any objections?

Students: No!

Students: With him, our festival must be the most brilliant!

Everyone turned around unanimously and looked at Kiro expectantly.

The sunlight reflected on Kiro’s brand-new white shirt, and the reflection off of it seemed to light up the entire classroom.

He straightened up, and the corner of his mouth raised up into a sincere smile.

Kiro: Okay. Everyone, leave it to me!

[Stage 2]

Internet age. Be comfortable with various situations. *It came out like this so I’m hoping this makes sense lol*

Kiro has been very busy these days. He has to arrange the art festival and attend classes on top of that.

Looking at Kiro, who was lying on the table during the break, I gently took out the disposable camera from my bag and pointed it at him.

In the picture, he is lying on his arm lazily, with long eyelashes, and his face squished.

Suddenly, his eyelashes trembled and he opened his blue eyes.

Kiro: Miss Chips, has class started yet?

There was a trace of longing for sleep in his voice, which made me laugh.

MC: Not yet, you….

Ring--

Halfway through our conversation, the school bell rang in the classroom.

Unexpectedly, he swept away his tiredness and immediately sat up straight in excitement.

Kiro: After this class is a music class. This is the first time I have a music class in a private high school!

He is like a child who is about to get a toy, his eyes full of unconcealed anticipation.

There were neat footsteps in the corridor, and the teacher soon walked in.

Teacher: There is still a lot to do for this semester. We will have two consecutive classes today and cancel the next music class.

As soon as the voice fell, voices of complaint were heard all over the classroom.

I looked to Kiro but found that he was a little bit frustrated and turned his head.

Immediately afterwards, his elbow crossed the middle line and was propped up on my table. He lowered his voice.

Kiro: MC, the music class will be cancelled. Is this reasonable?

I nodded to the person who reached over and cast a regretful look at him.

Kiro: Is there no other way? How did you solve it before?

Suddenly, a white piece of chalk hit his head, leaving a small mark.

Teacher: Class time! Go out and talk.

Kiro rubbed his head aggrievedly and put his hands on his desk obediently.

Teacher: The book, do you want me to get it out for you?

Kiro immediately lowered his head and fumbled in the drawer for a long time and then cast a look at me asking for help.

He just moved his lips, and then followed the teacher with some fear. He picked up the pen and quickly wrote something on the notebook.

After a little bit, a small piece of paper was gently pushed in front of me--

“Miss Chips, what kind of class is this? OvO”

I held the note silently, pretending to be note-taking, and wrote a word in big letters on the note--

“Language.”

[Stage 3]

Helping Kiro organize the school’s art festival can be thought of as filling in something that was not possible before.

The bell finally rang and I turned my head to find that Kiro’s figure had disappeared at the door of the classroom.

Maybe he went to the bathroom….

I didn’t worry too much about it and lay on the table lazily.

MC: Did class time ever pass by this slowly before?

I closed my eyes with ease. I don’t know how long I was out until there was a sudden rush of footsteps outside the door.

Kiro: We’re going to music class!

I opened my eyes in surprise, only to find that the students had surrounded Kiro.

Student A: Wow, awesome! She’s normally what we would consider “unreasonable”. *Changed some wording*

Student B: How did you do it? Quickly teach us!

With every word, the students said, Kiro held his chin pretentiously.

Kiro: Actually, it’s very simple. I just used my role as the person in charge of the festival and confidently asked for music class back!

Kiro: Learning is important, but it also requires a combination of work and rest!

Soon, the class bell rang again, and the students waved their arms excitedly.

Teacher: Walk nicely and go to music class--

The sound of youthful and restless footsteps disappeared one after another from the classroom, leaving only me and Kiro.

He walked up to me in the sunlight and patted my shoulder lightly.

Kiro: Let’s go, it’s time to go to class.

He smiled so brightly, the previous bright smile from before remained on his face.

I looked at Kiro who was so dazzling, and I couldn’t open my eyes for a little bit.

I couldn’t help but look at my school uniform, and suddenly laughed.

Kiro: Miss Classmate, what’s up?

I shook my head without speaking, got up and walked to his side.

MC: Classmate Kiro, let’s go~

I walked briskly out of the classroom, and Kiro followed me closely.

The sunlight pierced through the gaps of the leaves and fell on the corridor, printing a bit of staggered light and shadow.

With the position of the light, his mouth seemed to rise to the same arc as mine.

I can’t help wondering if Kiro and I are both happy about the same thing in our hearts--

I’m glad that I can be a classmate in this time and space with you.

[Stage 4]

Every story will have an ending, just as the cold winter must usher in the spring.

Since I started preparing for the festival’s activities, everyone will seemingly purposely stay after class to help out every day.

I walked around the corner with the camera, recording Kiro’s every move.

Although he was wearing a school uniform and seemed no different from this group of high school students, he still had an aura of maturity.

Kiro looked around and said,

Kiro: Some classmates told me in private that they didn’t like to perform on stage very much.

Kiro: So, those who don’t want to perform on stage, please raise your hands!

When his voice fell, the students laughed at each other and did nothing else for a while.

Kiro seemed to be aware of some of the students’ worries and timidity. So, he let out a long sigh and spoke softly.

Kiro: Although the art festival is a collaborative event, it doesn’t necessarily require everyone to perform on stage.

Kiro: Because I always think that it is embarrassing to “force” myself to do things I don’t want to do.

In the camera, although the corners of his mouth were raised in a smile, his eyes flashed with dim light.

Kiro: Don’t forget that we also have the task of decorating the campus. It is also one of the collaborative activities, isn’t it?

Kiro: So raise your hand loud and proud!

After some silence, a trembling hand finally was raised into the air. Immediately afterward, about seven or eight hands were raised one after another.

The remaining classmates who did not raise their hands seemed to breathe a sigh of relief and smiled brightly when they looked at the raised hands.

Student A: The task of decorating the campus is up to you.

Student B: Well, if you don’t have enough manpower, we will help!

Seeing them in a passionate discussion, the corners of my mouth rose unconsciously.

Suddenly, a familiar golden figure drew me into the crowd.

Kiro: Classmate, I need your help.

He leaned into my ear and whispered something.

I couldn’t help looking at him in surprise, my mouth moved slightly.

MC: How to help?

He smiled and turned his head, the setting sun outside the window happened to fall into his deep ocean eyes, reflecting the charming colours.

Kiro: Of course to help!

After sorting out the desires of all the students, Kiro and I divided them into two teams.

One is in charge of the show and the other is in charge of decorating the campus. In order to improve efficiency, I took the initiative to propose a team responsible for decoration.

MC: First of all, we must make a list of props and strictly manage our budget according to a certain proportion of class fees.

To help everyone understand more clearly, I drew a simple budget sheet on the blackboard.

It wasn’t until I put down the chalk and turned to face everyone, that I found everyone was casting admiring glances.

Students: That’s so amazing….You made it look so easy!! *Changed some wording*

I smiled embarrassedly, but Kiro beside me patted my shoulder with some pride.

Kiro: She is an excellent producer.

Kiro: So don’t worry, leave it to us.

Kiro: Although there’s no guarantee that our class’ performance will be the best.

Kiro: It will definitely make everyone the happiest!

[Stage 5]

Operation school is a go. *Changed some wording.*

There are new messages.

*I had trouble with this part so hopefully it makes sense when you read it. I’ll put the screenshots in below so you can see those too.*

Miss Producer,

There’s some good news for you, the show has been arranged! I compiled a lot of tips from countless stages experiences. I believe that the effect will reach the audience by then!

When the art festival begins, that’s when we’ll “graduate”, right? I don’t have any regrets. I feel that high school life in China is like this; it’s better than I thought and even happier! I wonder if you have the same thought?

Reply:

0(n_n)0~

[Stage 6]

Good actors will blend right into the play. *Changed some wording.*

The school bell rang, and I looked at the books on the desk and stuffed them into my bag with some reluctance.

The day after tomorrow, the high school life experience with Kiro and I will end.

Thinking of this, I subconsciously looked to the side and found that Kiro seemed to show the same expression as me.

He smoothed some of the curled corners of the book, and his curled eyelashes were downcast.

Kiro: Class is over. Let’s go.

I nodded, picked up my bag and walked out with him.

(Cut to outside)

As soon as we walked to the gate of the school, we saw students from a distance stopping us.

Students: Although there is still some time before the art festival, you will be leaving soon.

Students: So we specifically asked the teacher for the chance to rehearse in advance and wanted to invite you to join us!

I couldn’t help but freeze just as I was about to say something.

Kiro raised his hand and rubbed the back of his head, then smiled handsomely.

Kiro: Where is the rehearsal hall? Let’s hurry up!

(Cut to rehearsal hall)

Kiro was standing in the center of the stage wearing a white school uniform, and my thoughts were suddenly taken back to California.

Although I wasn’t there to see him attending school in California, the figure in front of me depicts my imagination of his past.

He must not have been too different back then from how he is now. He was so dazzling that people couldn’t look away.

Kiro: MC!

A voice from a distance drew me back to reality.

Kiro: Come on up!

I walked onto the stage with some hesitancy, but he grabbed my arm tightly.

Kiro: Today is our first and last rehearsal. Don’t be lazy.

MC: Wait, I don’t have a place in the performance….

Before I finished speaking, I was pulled up onto the stage.

Kiro: Haha, I actually don’t have a place either.

Kiro: But it doesn’t matter, let’s just be two cute little actors.

Kiro swayed lightly to the rhythm of the music, and the lights of the stage made him brighter than ever.

Suddenly, the stage light changed colours randomly, as if something unexpected happened.

The students stopped and looked around for the theatre staff. But it seemed that it was because it was lunchtime, there was no one in the booth.

Seeing everyone looking anxious, I hurriedly said,

MC: Someone take me to the booth, let me try to solve it.

One of the students stood up, and I followed her to the booth.

I walked to the booth and looked. The functions on it were similar to what I was used to at the TV station.

I let out a sigh of relief and after a few skilled operations, the stage lights returned to normal.

MC: Classmates, you should go back to the stage first. I will help you with the stage for the time being until the stage staff return.

After speaking, I pressed the PA button.

MC: Let’s rehearse again. I can clearly see whether the formation is neat or not.

MC: If you have any questions, I will give you feedback.

MC: 3, 2, 1, Start.

As soon as my voice fell, I immediately pressed the music play button.

Suddenly, a similar touch of gold in the distance bounced into my sight.

But my position was too far away from the stage, and I couldn’t see Kiro’s expression clearly.

He raised a hand high and seemed to make a gesture.

I couldn’t help squinting my eyes, trying to see his gesture clearly--

A thumb was raised high and shook excitedly at me.

[Stage 7]

High school life ended in the blink of an eye. Kiro and I went to the conference room as scheduled and handed in the “answer sheet”.

Director: Kiro, how was your experience this week? Do you think it will be helpful for the shooting?

Kiro lowered his eyes as if he was thinking, but the corners of his mouth had already “betrayed” him….

Kiro: Actually, high school life in China is not very different from that in foreign countries, but I am very happy.

Kiro: Because I have new wonderful memories of high school.

Kiro stopped suddenly and raised his eyes to look at me.

Kiro: The teachers in China are excellent, and sneaking snacks requires super skill to succeed.

Kiro: And if you whisper in class, you will be hit with chalk.

Kiro: But MC taught me to use a small note to communicate so you’re less likely to get caught.

Seeing Kiro’s “blabbermouth”, I quickly gave him a look.

He seemed to have received my signal and snickered uncontrollably.

Kiro: Ahem, but what I am happiest about is that I feel the beauty of youth again.

Kiro: The beauty of being a student feels purer now as an adult.

Kiro: In fact, this purity has always been there, but it was in slumber.

Kiro: Therefore, we must work hard to wake it up and let it revisit the world.

Kiro’s eyes creased in a smile as if to express his satisfaction of this time.

Memories are always full of filters, painting the time called “youth” with soft and bright colours.

It is flawless and pure, representing all the cleanliness and beauty. It is far away and unreachable as if some beauty can only stay for that period of time.

But people have forgotten that we should have this purity, even more, when we grow up.

When facing this complicated world, we shouldn’t take it for granted.

Looking at his smile, the figure in the white school uniform came to mind again.

It is like the brilliant sun shining everywhere in my heart, making people nostalgic and looking forward to the future.

I can’t help but believe this dazzling figure will meet me in various forms in the future.

The meeting ended in joy, and only me and Kiro were left in the room.

MC: Kiro, let’s wait a bit before leaving.

I took out the USB drive in my pocket and inserted it into the computer, and then turned on the projector.

MC: I have a small gift I want to give you.

After that, a video popped up on the projector background, which was a recording of Kiro’s high school life this week--

There’s footage of him running in the courtyard in his school uniform, and footage of him dozing off with his head on his arm.

And the look of my school bag on his shoulders.

Even the footage of him “copying his homework” was left guilty as evidence by me.

Kiro: Miss Chips….

He watched the video with a look of surprise and murmured to me.

MC: Although it was only a short experience, this is the first time you and I have been classmates.

MC: So I want to keep this memory forever and ever.

Until the video was finished, I looked at the picture in the last frame with nostalgia--

Me in school uniform, and him in school uniform.

We faced the camera and raised our brightest smiles.

This gift isn’t to make up the regret of youth but rather to record the me I was then and the me I am now.

Although we have grown up, we can still depict the youthfulness of Kiro and me at this moment.

Suddenly, Kiro walked right in front of me.

Kiro: Thank you, I really like this gift.

Kiro: But I didn’t expect Miss Chips’ gift to down without my knowledge.

With that said, he took out two small student name tags one by one from his pocket--

The names of Kiro and me are engraved on them.

At that time, due to the rush and short-term “entry”, the school did not prepare a name tag for us.

But at this moment, the name tag in Kiro’s hand seemed to reflect the light of the projector, reflecting a beautiful brilliance.

Kiro: MC, although the time was short, we really did become classmates.

Kiro: And you see, this is proof.

[End]

We went to the high school campus to experience high school life once more. The purpose of this experience was to add more vivid details to the youth drama that was to be filmed. But this wonderful time and the infinite expectations for the future at this moment will be deeply imprinted in my mind.

#mlqc spoilers #mr love queen's choice #mr love #mlqc #mr love game #mr love dream date #mr love kiro #mlqc kiro #mldd kiro #周棋洛 #s2 translation #AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH #ILYSM KIRO #THIS WAS SO CUTE #I wiah that they could've been together in high school #ma heart

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othercringe · 3 years

Text

Othercon: my final thoughts

(sort of, i have memes and screenshots queued to post. but since the last panel is officially over i wanna share my thoughts)

i missed basically all of the second day, but the first and last days were so much fun! i learned a lot about the otherkin community and a lot about myself.

first: i love interacting in kin spaces! and i’ve never been in a kin server as big as the othercon one, but i felt so comfortable. i felt welcomed and accepted for who i am. othercon genuinly made me more comfortable in my kin identity second: being fictionkin doesn't take away from your theriotype. i’ve always hid my fictionkin side from kin spaces because i didn’t think i could be therian and fiction kin. there were a few fictionkin themed panels that i listened to and it made me realize that i need to embrace all aspects of my identity.

overall it was a lot of fun. the staff was amazing, the other attendees were amazing. it made me realize that i don’t actually have kin friends but hopefully, now that i’m more comfortable talking to people in this type of setting, that can change!!

i want to thank the staff and everyone who helped put this thing together. it was one of the best cons i think i’ve attended, in person or online. i can’t wait for next years <3

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weeklyfangirl · 4 years

Text

Frat Boy Pt. 22

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 (1), part 7 (2), part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13 , part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19 , part 20, part 21

Hope everyone is keeping themselves mentally/physically well... here’s the next update in your adventure. Please safely read from home ;)

The sun moved slowly up my window, illuminating the dancing dust in the air. Even though I knew dust didn’t have feelings, it all still looked very peaceful, suspended there in space.

I wanted to be suspended, floating, with no obligations or pressures.

Instead, I watched time slip by, slowly, as the shadows stretched along my floor and I lay still, wrapped in a giant Winnie-the-Pooh sheets burrito.

I called in sick the past three days to work and to all my classes, my lack of attendance probably dropping me a letter grade in a few classes. Instead of checking on my academic scholarship, I begged Renny to drop off Dr. Rhinecuff’s papers for me. She did, lamenting about how his office smelled like roast beef and how she probably needed a nose job from it shrivelling up from the stench. Tired, I sent her three hearts, ignoring all of her calls and voicemails.

In a random bout of restless energy, I looked up the University of Oxford in England. No one would know me there. And maybe that wasn’t a bad thing when you didn’t even know yourself. I stayed on their site for an hour, avoiding my take-home assignments, and speculating which classes I could take in the spring semester. My eyes grew tired though, and even if I were accepted as a transfer student, it wasn’t like I could ever afford it without scholarships.

I closed the computer.

It’d been cloudy, rainy. The random storm that’d come in from Mexico lasted longer than the usual morning fog that’d roll in and out by the time it was 9 AM. This storm lingered, heavy, full clouds looking to burst and unleash a steady rain for three to four hours before the clouds rested, storing up all they could until the next downpour.

My parents didn’t question me when I came in, used to my random visits. But when I went straight to my room without saying hello, rain-plastered hair covering puffy eyes, my mom basically collapsed at the sight.

She followed me to the bed, trying to see my face, but I buried it in the pillow, ignoring the way the purple fringe tickled my nose.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?”

I just groaned. Her voice was too gentle, too well-intending for the dark thoughts sitting in my mind. She’d be heartbroken if she heard them.

She huffed, not out of annoyance, but distress. “What’s bothering you?? Is it Renny? Did you breakup with Harry?” All those reasons were too simple. She ran her hands lightly along my legs, but I cringed away from her touch. It was something I rarely did. She paused. “You can tell me anything...”

I shook my head against the pillow, my last attempt to tell her to leave without speaking. She waited a moment longer.

“Okay,” she said. And that was it.

Father didn’t ask questions, not even when I was here for the third consecutive day. Mom had probably come to her own conclusions, and shared them with him.

“Mom said you aren’t feeling too well,” he said over cereal one morning, confirming my suspicions. It was the first time he’d broken our three-day spree of comfortable silence.

“What else did she tell you?”

He shrugged his shoulders, his usual buoyant self replaced with a quiet voice. He looked at me, and all I saw was pity. If I were him, I’d probably look at me the same way. I hadn’t showered in a while. “Well don’t let anything get you down. You’re too smart for that.”

He’d tried. He’d put in an effort. I just nodded, scooping up another spoonful of cereal. He followed suit.

And that was that.

A week passed like this.

But overnight, the clouds had blown away, and the sun came back full-force this morning just in time for the weekend, renewing my guilt. That traitor.

I’d cried all of Monday and Tuesday, but when the last tear was shed in the middle of a New Girl episode, I was empty. My tears didn’t leave anything to replace them with.

On Wednesday, a phone alarm reminded me I had a therapy appointment. I hit snooze multiple times. It was only when I got up to pee, and I hated what I saw in the mirror that I threw on an oversized sweater to go over my pajamas and headed out the door.

“Is it good?” I asked.

Her hands reviewed my wants list.

“That’s just a coffee stain on the corner..just...ignore that bit,” I added.

She surveyed it briefly, not really focusing on it. “Were you honest?”

I nodded.

“Then there isn’t good or bad. It’s just your truth.”

“But I still feel… I don’t know. I don’t think I know what that is. I don’t feel like I’m… progressing. Doing anything towards that,” I said.

She looked at me with a level gaze. “Then that’s your truth. And that’s okay for right now.”

I shot her a glance.

“I see a common struggle with people your age. They feel this….” -She adjusted, quirking her head- “immense pressure to be perfect, to figure it all out, to achieve success so early.”

“Everyone’s doing it,” I began. “They’re getting internships, keeping up their grades, involved in ten clubs, doing community service…” I could’ve droned on, but didn’t.

“You have an internship, your grades are good, you’ve joined a sorority, and up until recently you’ve been involved in tutoring. Those are extracurriculars.”

I couldn’t argue with her.

“Is it too much?” she asked.

Too much. It was everything I’d been feeling until I’d felt nothing. But hearing her list off what was waiting for me just beyond her doors made me feel the weight of it all over again.

“I’ve just been overwhelmed.”

“Who have you been thinking about?”

She noticed I started picking my hangnail.

She started gently, knowingly. “Has it been Harry?”

“Ow,” I cursed. A bit of blood prickled up where the hangnail used to be.

“He seems to be a major stressor in your life. Would you agree?” The clock ticked behind her, filling the silence. Her hands rested in her lap, while mine swiped away the bit of blood. I could never remember my therapist’s name, but somehow it wasn’t important.

“Yeah, but … I mean …. there’s a lot of stressors.”

“Like his friends?”

His friends, in the abbreviated story I’d told her, stood in place for the gang. I’d used terms like … intimidating, mean, basically painting them as bullies who didn’t like us together. I wasn’t expecting to get much therapy from a lie. “Out of curiosity, if I were to tell you something… would you be obligated to report it to the police?”

“Not necessarily.” Her legs crossed, creased brows zeroing in with a laser focus. “Has something happened to you, Y/N?”

I swallowed hard, the truth lodged in my throat. But I had gotten too used to the weight of the secret. “I was just curious…” My mind raced to change the subject, and I blurted about Zayn’s art show.

“Do you think this panic attack was induced by this heightened sense of scrutiny from Harry’s friends?”

“Probably.”

“You said there were others. What are your main stressors?’

I settled in, more comfortable with this question. “There’s financial stressors, for one. And it’s exasperated here.”

“You’ve been dealing with financial difficulties for a while, now. Have you been feeling this anxious the entire time, or has it been recent?”

My foot tapped impatiently. We both knew the answer.

“Your panic attack was a first,” she explained, gently. “Some new factor in your life pushed you there.”

I picked at the hangnail, wincing. It was gone. My skin was raw.

“Maybe it all links back to Harry.” She waited a moment to see if I’d speak. When I didn’t, she leant back, and pulled out a new sheet of paper, scribbling something down. “I want you to write a pros and cons list about your relationship with him, for next time. When your feelings are overwhelming, it helps to get everything on paper. In a list. Puts things in perspective.”

I drove home, her words had pushed themselves into my empty shell and now they clinked around, jostling up my insides like a pinball machine and giving me a headache.

Just because I hadn’t left the house all week didn’t mean I didn’t feel guilty for ditching work. God, I did. It killed me. I knew I was lucky to get that internship. Harry had mentioned how people killed just to get on the waitlist, and I didn’t doubt it. An OC internship with, if not the top, at least the most publicized private practice? I mean, I was typing in appointments next to a Southern Stanford grad if that speaks to the competition here.

And here I was, retreating back to my house, too drained to face the world.

As for Harry, after what I’d said to him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t want to talk to me ever again.

I’d been so cruel.

I was weak.

I felt guilty for feeling this way at all.

And then I would watch the dust again.

It was a cycle.

About three blocks from my house on my way back from the therapist session, a familiar car passed me. It happened suddenly, unexpectedly, like most things do. We made eye contact before he passed, and my foot instantly lifted off the gas when my eyes connected with my brain. I whipped my head around but the matte black maserati sped up, disappearing from sight.

What was Harry doing this far from campus?

My heart beat erratically as I pulled into the driveway, and it was only seconds before I made it into the house. Father held up a hand in Grandpa’s old room. Phone call. Trudging silently to my own, I wrapped myself in a blanket burrito.

I’d been avoiding my phone, but I caved this time, checking J’s social media to see if he’d posted anything about being in the area to prove I WASN’T crazy and DIDN’T just hallucinate. Nothing. I tossed my phone on the other side of the room before I spiralled.

It didn’t matter. I was in my room. Alone. Safe. I focused on the dust.

Two little knocks disrupted my exciting mind game - which dust particle would fall further than the other.

“You’re turning ripe,” Father noted. His briefcase was still in his hand and he was coming startlingly close to my depression burrito.

“What are you doing-!?” I protested. But it was too late. He ripped the sheets off, exposing me in the t-shirt I’d been in since Monday. “Your mood won’t change if you don’t make an effort.

Come on.”

“Where are we going?”

“You’re coming to the water with me.” He hesitated at the door. “Shower first.”

In the car, a sense of comfort washed over me. He’d been right. Clean wet hair smelled nice and felt good slicked around my head. Even if Mom would complain I’d “catch cold,” it felt good to feel something. Dad’s speakers switched between classic rock and reggaeton as I sipped on the chocolate shake we picked up from the Shake Shack. It was a short drive away to the harbor, and once parked, a shorter walk to the public docks.

Our feet dangled above the water. It was too cold to go swimming this time of year, but my body buzzed with yearning despite the goosebumps on my skin. I wanted to feel encompassed by salty water. I wanted to be submerged, where everything was muted, a barrier between me and the world. Between my wet hair and the icy shake, I could pretend my body was as cool as the water below me. I could just…. dissolve.

“So what’s going on?” he opened up the conversation. “You having a hard time at school?”

“I don’t like the sorority.”

His brows raised, not expecting me to be so honest so soon. He cleared his throat. “Yeah, don’t you hate that shit?”

I looked at him, almost shocked he’d agreed with me.

The boats squeaked as they rocked with the rolling tides coming in from the ocean. I watched as a duffy boat wandered to the end of the jetty - where the harbor opened to the ocean. I took another big gulp of my shake, feeling the cold run down, freezing my esophagus.

“I liked frats, but sororities are different,” he mumbled, spooning his shake into his mouth. He’d gotten his usual Neapolitan, and it’d somehow stayed solid on the drive over. We hadn’t been to the Shake Shack in years, but I guess seeing his daughter waste away beneath her comforter was enough to break the dry spell.

“Why? Because its girls?” My lips were breaking into a smile without my consent. He didn’t make sense.

“They’re more catty.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Dad! That’s verging on sexist.”

“Eh, I don’t know. I’m just saying things. Did you tell Mom you want to quit?”

I shook my head.

“Yeah…” he looked out at the boats, a quiet understanding passing between us. “She was really excited for you to join.”

“It’s not all bad…”

“Well if it’s not making you happy, don’t do it. Your mom doesn’t want you doing anything you don’t want to do. I was in a frat to shoot the shit with friends and it was something fun to do instead of study. If it’s not something fun for you, drop it.”

I could hear the words he was telling me, but it was like they were rolling off my shoulders, not really penetrating. He made it sound so easy, but it seemed like it was a million times harder than that. Everything was entangled, just as Harry had said. Not to mention Renny. If I quit, I felt like I’d lose her forever, too. I knew I could use a better friend, but that couldn’t erase the years of memories we had together. Losing Renny would feel like losing a part of myself. Not that I knew who that was anymore.

“Dad?” I asked. The question that'd weighed on my mind ever since I got home rested on the tip of my tongue.

“Yeah?”

“This is going to sound weird, but did you see Harry today?”

“Yeah. He stopped by,” he said, casually, spooning another mouthful.

I practically choked. “What? Why?! Weren’t you going to tell me?”

“Y/N, I’m working. I have a thousand things bouncing around in my head all the time.”

“And?!!?”

Harry couldn’t reach out to me beforehand? He drove by but- what? Didn’t even want to see me?

He sighed, not understanding the urgency. “He just stopped by, said hi. That’s all.”

My brows stitched. “Why would he say hi to you? What’d he say, exactly?”

“Oh, come on, I don’t know. I can’t remember-”

“Dad!”

“All right, all right. Hi, how are you…” -his brain tried to remember- “he asked if you were doing okay. Then he left. He was nearby for a family brunch or something.”

“He asked about me?”

“Yeah. I mean, he didn’t go on and on, he just asked a question. He was in a rush.”

The shake froze me from the inside, and the breeze froze me from the out. But while I shriveled into myself, my guilt grew. “Dad?”

He hummed.

“Why are people so fake?”

He looked out at the harbor, peaceful for a winter’s morning. Only one small fishing boat headed towards the harbor’s edge, the sole fisherman at the helm facing the wind with the grace of a husband dealing with a temperamental spouse.

Father looked to our shoes as a random swell came, the water rising perilously close to our soles. Then, with all the untapped wisdom I seldom remembered parents had, “People are fake because they don’t know who they are,” he said.

He got a call from the restaurant and drove us home.

In bed the next day, I ignored the pros/cons assignment, watching New Girl and making collages of Oxford in a word document until my eyes were burning from blue light exposure. I knew I was pushing it staying this long away from school, away from my problems. I was pushing myself, seeing how far my apathy could go. I woke up Thursday night at 2 AM from the rain pouring against my shutter and anger pricking my insides.

Harry was the reason I was in this position. As well as Viv, who fucked Harry. And Kiki, who gave me a DG Pretty Please, that just so happened to involve Harry.

I wanted him, but I wanted him to fuck off. Nothing was changing. Nothing was getting better.

It was all Harry, Harry, Harry, and no matter what, I ended up feeling insane.

At one point, I was going to have to choose myself.

I rolled over, blindly reaching for a pen, and scribbled in the dark.

If my therapist wanted a list, she’d get one helluva list.

-----------

“I’m glad you’re going, honey.” Mom released me from the lung-crushing hug.

I’d created enough Oxford collages and daydreamed about a new life until I couldn’t think of any other imaginary scenarios (or postpone collegiate life any longer).

The Friday sun had set. The game had already started. I thought about the crowd, all the people I’d see…

“Can I just stay the weekend?”

“Oh.” Her arms dropped from my sides. “Didn’t you promise your friends that you’d go?”

Renny. I’d promised Renny. Singular friend. My hand was in a fist, thumb rubbing anxiously over my fingers. I didn’t listen to her voicemails, there were seven of them. But she’d texted me fifty times in the past twenty minutes, declaring that she’d Venmo me gas money if I’d come to the game.

I’d been in my hole long enough.

“Yeah, I did.”

“Well, you COULD stay-”

I broke away, shaking my head. If I let her coddle me another minute, I think I’d crumble all over again.

“I love you,” she reminded me. “You’re my precious angel.”

From the living room, the muffled applause from the game show Father had fallen asleep to faded further as I left.

Momma’s robe-bundled frame waved on the driveway, her sad smile burning in my mind long after she disappeared from view.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Come on, come on, come ON.

The path to the stadium took forever. No shame, I was full-on running, braless, fresh pit-stains on display as I booked it to the gate.

It was completely dark now, and the usual fleet of cop cars seemed to have all but disappeared the week I’d been gone. Only one passed me by, and the rest of the student body probably all congregated around the stadium.

When I saw the art studio, I slowed. It was completely dark, except for one entry light. The paintings would still be displayed... My pounding heart told me to keep running, and I hesitated, listening to it for a moment before walking to the door. I tugged on its metal handles, parts of me seizing up as it opened, giving way to my touch.

I crept into the space, feeling like an intruder as I walked through the exhibit.

For some reason, I expected it to look differently, to see it blurred together as I’d seen it before in a panic.

I was still hanging amidst the vines, but this time the paintings looked less threatening. Maybe it was the fact that I was alone, maybe it was because I’d already felt the worst of it.

Each piece was sold.

I looked over my shoulder a couple times before letting out a small shout. A tester.

It echoed in the space.

I did it again, louder, at my full about-to-be-murdered capacity.

I must’ve looked absolutely mental, but as I heard my shout reverberate around me, at least I felt something.

Five charcoal sketches in particular ran horizontally together.

Lust / Longing / Love / Lost / Loss

Had he seen all of this in me? He’d certainly seen other bits I hadn’t shown him.

My phone buzzed, and I pulled it out. Renny. Without thought, I started her stream of voicemails.

Y/N where the FUCK are you!? Zayn’s concerned and I’m concerned and you’re not in the room-

Next.

Are you really sick? Or is this just some BS excuse. Or is this real and Harry gave you tonsilitis or something. I want to hear your voice. Ilyyyyy.

Next.

It’s meeeeee. Niall’s busy and you’re sick and I don’t know what to dooooo. Housewives isn’t as fun without-

Next.

BABE WHY AREN’T YOU ANSWERING ME CALLS DO YOU HATE ME, AND YES I MEANT TO SAY ME INSTEAD OF MY I HOPE YOU’RE LAUGHING-

Next.

DUDE. You will not believe what just happened- Harry just stopped by.

My thumb paused, letting it stay.

I was avoiding his texts because I think he’s a dick. Well, he IS a dick, even if Niall said he was going through a lot. It’s still not an excuse. But Harry LEGIT found me on campus, like not even when I was with Niall at the house, but at our APARTMENT...I-hold on. Ew, pastrami professor just passed me. What are the odds? OKAY BUT SERIOUSLY, I almost punched him when I opened the door because remember last time he basically told me off. But… I don’t know. It was different this time. He seemed… so concerned. Frazzled. I don’t even know the word to describe it. Ugh, if you were here you would be able to TELL ME what the word is. I miss you. Come back.

The voicemail rolled into the next.

I’m just pretending to talk on the phone right now because the boy I hooked up with last year is staring me THE FUCK down right now-

A creak in the pipes startled me, and the voicemail was all but forgotten.

My heart beat fast.

It was very, very quiet.

With one noise in the dark, the art pieces turned menacing. An oil painting in the corner of the room morphed into the Styles’ portrait. It wasn’t here. It couldn’t be here. I squinted, blinking through the dark. The portrait I thought I’d seen was just a painting of two silhouetted men facing each other. My heart still beat like I’d just ran a marathon though. I wasn’t about to be a part of the next horror movie “art comes alive.”

I booked it out faster than I came, answering Renny’s call on the way.

---------

“Thank fucking finally,” Renny huffed, leaning over Lynn to draw me in a hug.

“You didn’t miss much,” Lynn said, looking past me towards the game. I sat on Renny’s other side so she was in the middle, but when I looked at the scoreboard - Home, zero. Guest, two - I knew it was a done deal. Some people had already left, but half the stadium was still here, either hoping for a miraculous recovery or refusing to put their tails between their legs for pride’s sake. I noticed a group of parents in Chapman gear huddled together, waving their flags. No Mary or Lionel Styles in sight.

“How’s he been?” I asked. It’s like my head already knew where to turn, because as soon as I looked to the field, I found him. On the bench, elbows on his knees, head bent over.

“How’ve YOU been?” Renny asked. “I was seriously about to drive over to your house and check on you.”

Someone beat you to it. The thought was sour. For as much as Renny could claim her undying love for me, I was struggling to see the actions to support it. Everyone was disappointing.

“He’s been playing like shit,” Lynn answered.

“Brought back some...” His sentence died. Of all people, Zayn stood there, stopped, popcorn in hand. “Hey, Y/N.”

Felix stood behind Zayn, giving me a small wave. Zayn was clearly waiting for me to make the first move, but I turned away to the field. I didn’t know what to say.

From my peripheral, I saw them sit down by Lynn.

As soon as he did, it hit me like a flashfood. I knew what I was feeling. Anger. Discomfort. Shame. That he could expose me so easily, that he’d looked through my clothes in a way I never permitted. That he could sit down so comfortably without apologizing, as if nothing had happened.

Renny leaned in. “Are you okay?”

“No.”

She flinched at the abrupt answer. “Do you want to leave?”

I stopped myself from saying yes. I didn’t want to have to climb over Zayn to get out of here. That would be more than uncomfortable.

“No, I’ll tell you later.”

I didn’t speak the rest of the game, pretending not to hear him cheer or laugh or make a snide remark to Felix every other second. Like the annoying click of a fan when you’re trying to fall asleep, Zayn’s every move made anger shake my bones. Lynn gave me sympathy looks every once in a while. It wasn’t like me to be this quiet, and even with our friendship being as new as it was, she knew that much.

The crowd didn’t roar this time. They were silent as the clock hit zero, staring blatantly at its twin beneath Home. The Guest team’s few Minnesota supporters jumped like little beans on the other side of the field, but their cries were faint.

We’d lost.

Everyone stood, and Renny linked her arm with mine. A familiar habit. “We’re going to Viv’s for some post-game depression drinks now.”

But I stopped her.

“I think I want to go back to the room,” I winced.

“Come on, PLEASE? It’ll be fun, you were barely here for the game.”

“I don’t know, depression and Viv in the same sentence… You really know how to sell a party.”

“Aren’t you coming, Y/N?” Lynn made moves to follow the rest of the crowd that was funneling out of the stands.

I shook my head at the same time Renny nodded hers.

She huffed. “Why not? It’s going to be chill. We lost. It’s not going to be like the usual ragers.” She popped her hip, completely deadpanned. “You haven’t seen another college-aged person in a week.”

“Yeah and there’s a reason for that.”

Concern washed over her, voice lowering. “Tell me.”

As if on cue, Zayn and Felix stopped their descent down the bleachers and looked up at the girls, waiting for them to join. It was all I could do to not scream at them.

“Later,” I said. “You’re leaving now.”

“I don’t have to leave right now, it’s not starting yet...” Renny began, but Lynn gave her a look that said yes, they were leaving now.

“She wants us to help set-up,” Lynn explained.

“But it’s a small thing, right?” I teased Renny.

My bestie rolled her eyes, lips pinching. “Are you SURE?”

I nodded, sitting down on the cool metal bleacher again. Renny took a step towards me, a sad look on her face, but I held up my hand.

“I’m fine,” I said, when I felt anything but. “I just want to wait until the crowd leaves.” I picked up the popcorn bag she’d left behind and threw a handful in my mouth with a cheesy, hopefully convincing grin.

She grimaced, briefly looking back to Lynn who was anxiously waiting. “Fine. But we’re still talking about this later. I friggin miss you.”

She left with the others, funneling out towards a party she’d probably stay at until the early morning.

I didn’t want to go back to the room. I didn’t want to go anywhere.

The lights were so bright on soccer fields. Bugs flew in and around, racing each other faster than the dust in my room. It wasn’t until the janitors walked past me that I realized I’d been sitting there for too long. I reached in the popcorn bag, but my hand came up empty. They’d gone overboard on the salty butter, but somehow, I’d still managed to eat all of it.

Even with everyone off the field though, I didn’t feel alone. An older Hispanic woman taking out the trash saw me walking down and opened up the bag.

“Thank you,” I said, smiling.

She just smiled in return, nodding her head as she continued down the aisle.

Leaving the field’s gates, I was prepping for another mini run-for-my-life-and-back-to-the-dorm anxiety episode, when I heard someone shuffling. There were faint groaning noises, and I sped up my pace.

For a flash second, I thought someone was winning the “sleep in the locker room” bet, but when I tossed my head-back mid-run, I stopped so quickly, I almost tripped.

“Harry?”

There, in the dark, barely concealed by the shadows, he stumbled out. His abdomen looked… glossy? But then the light reflected crimson.

I ran to him as he fell, his white jersey stained with blood. “Oh my God, oh my God…” I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. “What happened?! Are you okay!?”

He pushed me back. “M’fine.” But his voice was strained. He stumbled again, and I reached out before he fell.

I thought the blood from his shirt had fallen from a bloody nose, but his hand moved to my arm in a vice-like grip, revealing a gash in his jersey, I saw more liquid pool out from his gut and I almost gagged.

“You are BEYOND fine. You aren’t fucking fine!!”

“We have to leave. Have to… get out of here.” He grimaced. His face, his beautifully chiselled face was swollen on one side, his lip cut from impact.

“Okay. OKAY. I need to call the cops. The cops. I’m going to call them.” Shaky hands took out the cellphone, but he threw it down. “HARRY!”

“Take me to the physical therapy room?”

I looked at his chest. “You’re bleeding. A LOT.” My free arm reached for the tossed phone, but he tugged me back.

“No. They’ll write a report. I can’t have a-” he winced, sucking in a breath, and I reached for the phone again. “DON’T. Fucking hell. Don’t call anyone.”

My eyes racked his frame again, and I immediately applied pressure to his ab area, right where the gash was. He sucked in a breath, unleashing a string of curses I couldn’t hear right now. “Oh my God,” I breathed.

“Answer me,” he growled.

My mind scrambled for his question… he wanted me to take him to the physical therapy room. “YES! Yes. I have the- fuck, yes, I know where the keys are.” I looked at him again. What the FUCK.

“Stop freaking out,” he grunted, but he weakened the next second, his eyes fluttering before coming back to me.

“Okay, hold on. Hold onto me. Keep applying pressure.”

The physical therapy room wasn’t too far, bits of blood that’d fallen to his shoes marking our path.

“Why aren’t all the cops here?”

“They’re on rotation. The parties... they’llbestationedthere-JESUS.” We paused, letting him catch his breath. But it was shallow. Too shallow.

“Can you wait here for a second?” I asked.

He nodded, resting against a lamp post.

I hurried to the lockbox located behind the planter, punching in the code and unlocking it at lightning’s speed.

I didn’t know if there were cameras. I didn’t know if this was illegal.

I didn’t care.

We made it through the doors, and he was just about to sit on the table when-

“WAIT!” I ran to grab several rags and laid it beneath him before heaving him up. The soft cry he made when sitting down was like a knife through my own chest.

I grabbed scissors, cutting his t-shirt. I didn’t have time to linger, I didn’t have time to notice the way his tattoos were completely concealed by a red current. There were two wounds. One, deeper, the other, more shallow. Both in the lower left abdomen, just above a prominent v-line.

I wiped around the area, pausing above the gashes. “This is going to sting,” I warned.

There wasn’t fear in his eyes. He watched me, and I, him, as I pressed it against the open skin. He trembled, wincing, mouth opening in silent exclamation.

“You’re doing good,” I whispered.

“So are you,” he gritted out.

I swallowed, reaching for the butterfly bandages. But as soon as I did, more blood rushed out. I held a rag to him. “Save your breath. You need it.”

The thin white bandages seemed too little in the wake of his wound, and just as one bandage was placed, he cringed away, regretting his decision to move almost immediately.

“Fucking hurts,” he groaned.

“Stop moving! I need to close the wound up. You’re bleeding too much.”

“Y/N, just take me home. Call Lionel,” he panted.

“I’m calling 911 if you don’t let me at least attempt to close this wound because if we leave now you’ll bleed out.”

“You’ve done enough, please-”

“STOP. TALKING. I’ll call him after.” He saw a flame behind my eyes, and quieted, too weak to protest much more anyway. I came closer, and this time he didn’t flinch. The butterfly bandages at least minimally shrunk the open gouges.

With no other choice, I left him there alone, running across campus to my car and driving back in less than five minutes. It was illegal to drive through student walkways, let alone drive 60 mph, but there wasn’t a choice. I kept picturing Harry passing out, his limp God-like body, turned mortal, weak, bleeding out all over the training room floor. My foot hit the gas pedal harder. I could’ve been a damn marathon winner/race car driver. Let the cops add “speeding” to the file they already had on me.

Once we were both in the car, I looked over at him every two seconds. An entire roll of tight gauze around his abdomen kept the wound from bleeding out, but it was still turning pink. It was the second time blood would have been on my car.

Of all the revenge daydreams I’d had, I would’ve settled for Harry seeing me make out with Andre on the dancefloor over THIS. Would he die in my car? Would I be responsible?? I looked at the cheesy Angel pin my mom had given me for my car mirror. Never Fly Faster Than Your Guardian Angel Can Fly. Where was my angel now??

“Where are we going?” He asked, between fading in and out.

“To your house.”

His hand grabbed mine on the wheel and I practically swerved into the center divider from shock.

“HARRY!”

“We need to go to my house,” he said suddenly, panicked, as if I’d told him the opposite.

I placed our interlocked hands above the console. A safe distance away from the wheel in case he lurched again.

“Don’t worry, we’re going there. We’re going to your house. You’re just in shock, it’s okay,” I cooed, but it was desperate. And it was definitely not okay.

“They’ll ask… less..less questions...”

His grip was unbearably tight for three long seconds before it relaxed.

“Stay with me. Stay awake,” I urged. Harry’s lids kept drooping and I was desperate, blasting the Air Conditioning to an uncomfortable temperature.

Lionel picked up on the second ring.

“It’s Y/N. I think Harry’s been stabbed-”

“What?!”

“- I told him we should call the cops, but he was adamant we call you instead.”

“Seal the wound with whatever you can-”

“I did that. Not well, we didn’t have wound sealant- Okay, I’m rambling. I don’t know what to do, but he needs to see a doctor. Immediately.”

There was a long pause.

“Hello?” my voice wavered.

“Bring him to the practice.” The voice over the other line was that of a doctor, matter-of-fact, somber.

Hoag Hospital passed me, a nagging thought telling me that’s where we should be going - where there was paperwork, evidence, some legitimate accountability. But I wasn’t his father. I wasn’t responsible.

“On my way. I’m getting off the freeway now.”

The call ended, and as I looked at Harry, fading dangerously out of consciousness, my hands trembled more from fear than cold. Out of all the reactions, I hadn’t expected this one. The voice on the other line hadn’t seemed surprised at all.

come talk to me about the chappie or just about how you’re doing! now’s the time to stay connected :)

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syifrae · 4 years

Text

Through his stomach

@winteriron-week

Day 3 “But I did it”

Read on AO3

Tony had a secret admirer. Not only that, but he had the world’s best secret admirer because this secret admirer was seducing him via food.

It had started a few months back when Tony had returned from a particularly stressful day at work, fielding calls and actually attending meetings (I mean, he had to go to some otherwise Pepper would literally strangle him). Tony felt tired and hungry and his feet hurt and his head ached and there was just a general aura of blegh all around him.

He had just about managed to drag himself through a shower and into some comfy pants but the thought of having to make food was just overwhelming. He lay in his bed for what felt like hours arguing with himself about the pros and cons of getting up to make something. Of course, he could just order food but for some preternatural reason any time anyone was ordering takeout in the tower Clint found out. This was not necessarily a bad thing, but on occasion, it could result in heavy debating over what to order and half your food disappearing into the apparently bottomless void that was the archer’s stomach.

Right now, though, Tony just really wasn’t in the mood for any kind of human interaction. He loved his teammates, don’t get him wrong, they had become his pseudo-family and he would, at any time, lay down his life for any one of them, but right at this second, he couldn’t stand the thought of having to interact with them.

He knew it was a cruel thought to have, but on the one hand, he’d have to pull up a front that he was fine -which would take a hell of a lot of effort given the facial expression and body language skills of some of his teammates- or let them see how…blegh he was feeling. Neither option seemed appealing to him. One would drain him of all remaining energy and the other would result in (well-intentioned) questions about his mental and emotional state, which again would drain him of all remaining energy.

Just as he was thinking he could risk calling in for pizza and hope against hope that the resident vent mole wouldn’t notice, he heard the ding of the elevator. Tony sighed. How on earth had Clint known he was thinking about pizza? That shit was unnatural and vaguely disturbing.

Only he didn’t hear footsteps, instead, there was the familiar whirr of gears and excitable beeps from his favourite (but don’t tell the others) bot. Sure enough, his bedroom door was pushed open and in trundled DUM-E, carefully carrying a tray with a steaming bowl of something on it.

The smell wafted through the room as Tony scooched up the bed to accept the tray off of the bot.

“Uhh, J?” he began hoping his AI would know what he meant. How is DUM-E up here? Why does he have a bowl of what looks like soup with a side of charcuterie and garlic bread with him? Did DUM-E make it himself? If so, how? Was it safe to eat?

Luckily for him, he had the best AI in the world (if he does say so himself-which he does) and JARVIS somehow knows all his questions and answered them so succinctly.

“Someone who wishes to remain anonymous has prepared a dinner for you and asked DUM-E to deliver it as you appeared fatigued. It is a courgette and almond soup with garlic ciabatta and sourdough toast, assorted cured meats and a mango chutney. It has been safely prepared and monitored on it’s journey, and does not contain motor oil.”

Tony breathed in deeply at the exquisite smell coming from his dinner tray. This was the perfect ending to a low-grade-shitty day. Once everything JARVIS had said was fully registered in his mind he quirked his head in question.

“Someone who wishes to remain anonymous?” he mused, “Well, I mean it’s gotta be someone living in the tower, right? That narrows it down. Plus, it’s gotta be someone who can cook,” That thought leads him to an ever-diminishing list of suspects and he rather thinks he knows who it is.

Tony ducks his head, a dusting of pink colouring his cheeks at the thought. He digs into his gifted meal with gusto, suddenly it seemed like the weight of the day had simply rolled off of him, and he had regained some of his earlier energy. If the person who he thought it was wanted to stay in the shadows for now who was he to put a stop to it? Especially when it might cost him more nights like these with a delivery of home-cooked ambrosia.

And so it had continued.

Not only when Tony had had a bad day either, but almost every other day it seemed he had some new delivery of food. Be it a sandwich left by his elbow to remind him to eat during his workshop binge, a cooked meal when he had had a long day, a tray of cookies, cakes or brownies left on the counter in his penthouse, a selection of petit fours delivered to his office as it seemed just-because. And sometimes they even came with little post-it notes!

They weren’t much to go on, just little ‘thinking of you’s or ‘hope you enjoy’s or ‘looked like you needed this doll’s. With each delivery, Tony’s crush deepened until he was halfway in love with his ‘secret’ admirer, despite the fact that they both seemed to reluctant to acknowledge any of it in public or around the team.

However, Tony was only so patient- ask Pepper or Rhodey, it was a miracle he’d lasted this long in the first place- and he was now determined to… Well not exactly confront, that felt too aggressive a word to use, he was going to gently but firmly (very firmly) encourage his admirer to go on a real date with him. It felt like it might be a bit premature to declare his undying love and devotion to a man he wasn’t technically in a relationship with after all.

This idea however all came clattering down around him when he entered the kitchen at around three am exactly three months and four-day post initial food delivery. He hadn’t even realised anyone else was awake, he hadn’t meant to even be on this floor but JARVIS was a tattletale and would ping an email to Pepper if the coffee machine in his penthouse or workshop was used between 11 pm and 6 am.

It was just dumb luck.

Or unluck as the case may be. Because there in the kitchen, pulling a tray of very familiar looking and smelling chocolate orange and hazelnut cookies out of the oven, was Steve.

It was the wrong one. All this time Tony had believed that Bucky had been his admirer, his personal chef and his culinary hero. All this while, and if he was honest with himself for a long time before that, Tony had been slowly but surely falling in love with their resident one-armed-wonder, and given that he was 87% sure that that was who was making the food he was fairly confident that feeling had been mutual. To learn that all this time it had been the wrong supersoldier was devastating.

Tony felt like the bottom had dropped out of him and his heart had dried up all at once. Not only was he wildly, catastrophically wrong about who had been delivering him all these preciously prepared and lovingly made gifts, it also meant that he was wrong about Bucky reciprocating his feelings.

Not only that, but he now had to confront the idea that it was Steve, not Bucky, who cared for him and how the fuck was he supposed to let Captain America down? I mean yeah they had moved past their first meeting hiccup, gotten over their brief subsequent future hate/resentment/hero worship issues and had become the closest of friends. Or at least, that’s what Tony had assumed. And while his inner sixteen-year-old was very much still attracted to the pinnacle of human perfection, Tony just could not see Steve in that way. Objectively yes, he was handsome and kind, down-to-earth, generous to a fault and stubborn as a mule when it suited him, but to Tony that was just Steve.

Steve was great! Steve was an amazing friend! He’d be happy to talk up Steve as a wingman and be confident that nothing he would say would be a lie because Steve was just that awesome a person! But he was not attracted to Steve himself!

Continuing his approach to the kitchen Tony tried to mentally prepare what he was going to say. How he was going to gently thank Steve for his gifts but let him know that any feelings he had were purely platonic. He was mentally debating if he could get away with not telling Steve that he didn’t know it was him who had been the one behind the culinary delights. On the one hand, it would make him look like an utter dick for letting it go on this long without letting Steve know it was a doomed seduction. On the other hand, it seemed cruel to tell Steve that he was hoping that the man’s best friend (practically his brother) would go out with him instead. Knowing Steve, he’d be extremely supportive and then not show anyone how he was devastated and dying inside.

“Hey Steve, I didn’t realise you were up so late,” He began, coward that he was trying to put off the uncomfortable conversation that was to come.

Steve looked up from the sheet pan where he had been carefully inspecting the cookies, a look of surprise on his face showing that he’d been so concentrated on his task he hadn’t picked up on Tony’s approach. And wow, seeing how dedicated he was just made Tony feel worse about the whole thing.

“Oh, hi Tony,” the other man glanced down spying the coffee cup clutched in the inventor’s hands, “You know that cheating by getting your coffee down here only means that Pepper will be madder when I’m the one to tell her.” He teased.

And god did Tony feel like the world’s biggest tool again, even when Steve was being mean it was just because he cared. Why did it have to be the wrong supersoldier? Why was his life like this?

“Listen, Steve.” Bracing himself for what was coming Tony stepped further into the light of the kitchen, making sure to give the other man 100% of his attention, it was the least he deserved. “I think we need to talk. I am so grateful, really I am, for all that you have done. They were some of the finest and most delicious things I’ve ever tasted in my life, and that comes from a guy who regularly eats at Five Michelin Star restaurants. The deliveries have been a source of joy and comfort, they have never failed to lift my spirits and I have adored each and every one. I want you to know that I will always care very deeply for you,”

Steve had an odd look on his face as Tony tried his best to be brave and plough on, it wasn’t fair to let this go on any longer and he had to get it all off his chest in one go or else he’d put his foot in it.

“I don’t know that I could ever see you in that way. What I feel for you is more of a platonic bond, and a lifelong one at that, but there could never really be any romantic feelings on my part.”

Steve looked downright confused and embarrassed now.

“Uh, Tony that’s great?” He replied, head tilted in that lost puppy look he sometimes had when he couldn’t quite get his head around something. “I’m not entirely sure where all of that came from but uh, I love you too buddy.” Steve patted Tony on the shoulder, looking for all the world like Tony had lost his mind.

“Look Steve, the secret is out alright, I know those are the cookies you made me the other week. I can recognise them well enough, they are just about the tastiest goddamn things I’ve ever put in my mouth and I’ve dreamt of them twice since. I know it’s you who’s been making me food, and I just wanted to let you down eas-”

“But I did it.”

The voice came from behind, cutting through Tony’s very messy 'it’s not you, it’s me' speech, nearly scaring the life out of him and causing Tony to jump about three feet in the air and clutch at his chest as though that would slow the rapid staccato of his heart.

“Wha?” was all that the dumbstruck genius could eke out.

“I’m the one who’s been making you food, doll. It was me, not Stevie here.” Bucky replied from where he was stood in the doorway to the kitchen.

“But- he… I just saw Steve taking the cookies out of the oven? He was even checking them over to make sure they were right?” Tony blurted, head pinging over to Steve as he heard the man huff out a laugh.

“Yeah, cause Buck here hadda go pee and the last time he put me in charge of getting his shit out the oven I got a whooping because smooshed a cookie with the glove. I ain’t making that mistake twice.”

It took Tony a second for everything to sink in. He had a moment post reshuffle in his brain of who had done what that he was mistaken after all. It wasn’t the wrong supersoldier.

“So, wait. Does that mean that you’ve been my secret admirer? Not Steve?”

“Yeah, doll,” Bucky said, shifting his weight and loosely crossing his arms in front of him as if to protect himself. “You mean all that you said about it being good?”

Tony had never heard, nor expected to hear such uncertainty from the other man. Carefully making his way over to Bucky and making sure to telegraph his movements as he did so, Tony lifted his hand to cup Bucky’s cheek.

“I meant every word. And I’m so glad it was you.”

The smile that Tony could feel growing on his own face was mirrored back to him. Flickering his gaze between Bucky’s ocean eyes and his lips he slowly tilted forward, allowing Bucky to decide if he wanted to close the gap or not.

Tony’s heartbeat fluttered as he felt the soft press of lips against his. Something in his chest settling at the feeling of how right this all was. Steve on the other hand was apparently feeling indignant.

“Hey, wait a minute! How come I’m not good enough but this lug is?”

#WinterIron Week #winteriron week 2020 #winteriron #my writing #day 3 #i wrote this at 5 am so let me know if it's full of mistakes #I don't even know what i'm doing anymore #lol #¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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fillingthescrapbook · 3 years

Text

Rewriting The CW's Kung Fu, Part 6: Act II

We're nearly to the end, but if you're somehow seeing this before any of the previous posts, you can find them here:

Part 1: The Characters

Part 2: The Pilot

Part 3: The Mythology

Part 4: The Story Map

Part 5: Act I

If you've read all that, I am hoping that you've gotten to know Nicky enough that you're willing to ride along for the next part of her journey. Because we're going to the territory that the show actually covered (with a few rewrites, of course): the hunt for the mystical weapons.

Episode 6: Bond

We start this episode with Nicky reeling over two revelations: one, that Althea is a survivor of sexual harassment, and two, that Zhi-Lan is her dead mentor's sister. But she's going to focus first on what's more important: her own family. Nicky tells Althea that she will be there to support her whatever Althea decides to do. Althea admits that she doesn't know yet--

When Dennis tells Althea that his family's been invited to a gala at the museum for a loaned Chinese exhibit, Althea also finds out that her former boss at Cloudrush Capital will be in attendance--as a donor. Althea asks Nicky and Ryan to come with her for support--but Ryan has hospital duties. So Nicky asks Henry to accompany them instead.

At the house, Ryan can feel that there's tension between him and Mei-Li. He thinks it's because he's gay--until he realizes that his parents don't actually know that he had come out when he stood with Joe (in the last episode). Ryan explains to Jin and Mei-Li that the reason he only had one girlfriend, who quickly dumped him, is because he is gay. Jin and Mei-Li are speechless. Mei-Li walks out, uncertain of how to act. Jin, trying and failing to be supportive, just taps Ryan on the shoulder.

At the museum, Henry recognizes one of the weapons on display. It's one of the eight mystical weapons. But when he is about to point it out to Nicky, the latter had already left him. Because Nicky spotted Zhi-Lan at the gala. She is about to follow Zhi-Lan when she sees Althea having a panic attack upon seeing her former boss. Nicky weighs her options, but chooses to stay with Althea instead.

With Althea calmed down, Nicky tells Henry that Zhi-Lan is at the gala. Henry figures out that Zhi-Lan is there for the weapon, explaining to Nicky that one of the eight fabled weapons that he mentioned to her before is part of the loaned exhibit. He takes her to the still-closed exhibit--and they catch two crooks trying to steal the weapon. They get into a fight with the crooks. They win. But when they turn to the display case, the weapon is gone.

Nicky sees Zhi-Lan making her way out of the museum. In a hurry. Nicky chases after her. The get into a fight and Nicky is holding her own against Zhi-Lan, thanks to her different training with Henry. But something is holding her back: her need to understand how Zhi-Lan could kill Pei-Ling. Which she asks Zhi-Lan point blank during a stand-off. Zhi-Lan is taken aback for a second before quickly recovering, saying she lost her sister when she was a kid. That the woman she killed at the monastery was of no relation to her. Zhi-Lan manages to knock Nicky down before getting away. Henry and Althea find Nicky and get her home.

Althea and Henry bring Nicky to the community center where Ryan is cleaning her wounds. Nicky explains that the woman she fought with was the woman who killed her mentor at the monastery. Henry explains that the woman, Zhi-Lan, is probably collecting the eight mystical weapons from folklore. According to legend, bringing the eight together and taking them back to where they were forged would grant the collector untold power. Nicky whispers, "Bian-Ge." Althea frowns. "Change?" Ryan is concerned. "Transformation." But Nicky doubts that that Zhi-Lan can find all eight weapons soon. It took her three years before she found the longsword, and she probably only lucked out with her second weapon because it was included in the exhibit advertisement. Nicky is more worried about Althea.

Nicky remembers a memory of her time at the monastery, when Pei-Ling told her about important decisions having a lot of weight. How she lost people she loved because she chose to honor what she believed is right. In the memory, Pei-Ling tells Nicky that time has a way of giving them clarity on what they should've done. But during a moment of crisis, all they can do is trust that their heart is in the right place.

In the present time, Althea tells Nicky that she doesn't think she has the courage to speak up. Not yet. Nicky understands. They all have their own pace when it comes to dealing with problems. She ran away for three years. Althea notes that Nicky is back now, that she's facing her problems now. Nicky hugs her sister, saying: "and you will face your problems too. When you're ready."

Nicky and Henry are targeted by the goons they fought at the museum. They think the two have the weapon that was stolen from the museum. Nicky and Henry get into another fight with the goons. This time, when they defeat the goons, Nicky calls Evan for police help.

Althea talks to her former colleague who wants to speak up against their ex-boss. Althea apologizes and says she cannot come out. Not right now. But she is willing to talk to whoever she needs to talk to. Under anonymity. To save those they can still save. The woman thanks Althea.

At the house, Ryan tells Nicky that he's moving out of the house. Nicky apologizes for not being there when he came out to their parents. Ryan tells Nicky that he didn't need her there after all. But he will need her moving forward. To watch over their parents with him out of the house, to keep him updated, and to still be there for him when he calls. Nicky promises. They hug. Ryan leaves.

Jin sees Mei-Li pulling out an old shoe box. Something he hasn't seen in years. It contains an old photo of Mei-Li...with her sister Mei-Xue. She tells Jin that she swore she wouldn't be like her mother. But why does it feel like she's doing what her mother had done too? Pushing her own children away?

Evan visits Nicky at Happy Dumplings to talk about the goons she and Henry stopped at the museum. Nicky tells Evan that she knows who the goons are working for "Zhang Zhi-Lan." Nicky reminds Evan that he was the one with the info on her connection with the Triad. Evan shakes his head, telling Nicky that they were bailed out by a business owned by a Raymond Tan. This makes Nicky think. Is there another party interested in the weapons?

We will have a mini-reveal here of Henry's apartment. It has a map of the world with markings. Photos of the eight weapons that have strings tying them to locations where they have been sighted. It seems that Henry is keeping a secret from Nicky.

Episode 7: Rage

In this episode, Nicky and Henry work together when one of Henry's students at the community center ask for their help. A friend of his has gotten involved with a dojo that cons their trainees into taking part in an underground fight club. The student shows them footage of the fight, which is a bloody affair, and Henry spots a pair of deer-horn knives in the decor that he tells Nicky later are among the mystical weapons.

Henry's first course of action is to go straight for the source--only to get injured by the guy in charge of the dojo. This leaves Nicky as their only viable way to get into the fight club.

Throughout the course of the story, Nicky remembers moments from the monastery where Pei-Ling teaches her how to use an opponent's emotions against them. Even sharing a story where a loved one got the better of her because she felt overwhelming concern while they were sparring. This is what Nicky will use to win the fight.

To get into the fight club, Nicky borrows money from Althea--which Dennis finds out about. When Nicky explains what's going on, Dennis is all in with helping out, saying he believes in helping the helpless--even when they look like they can take him down. Which gives Althea the idea that Dennis might be okay knowing her secret too. Ryan's in charge of putting first aid on Nicky afterwards, to keep her crime-fighting life a secret from their parents.

Meanwhile, Evan tries to investigate Raymond Tan, wanting to know why a business of his is employing thugs and goons. He gets caught by Raymond's son, Kerwin, who becomes curious about his father's non-business affairs.

Jin tries to reach out to Ryan, apologizing for his and Mei-Li's non-reactions to his coming out. While Ryan is appreciative, he doesn't want to move back in. He's better now, living with Joe.

At Althea's apartment, Ryan and Dennis have set up a laptop to find out what's going on at the fight club. They root for Nicky to go through a tournament so she could face off with the underground operation's main boss.

While Nicky is fighting, Henry goes about a second operation--to take the deer-horn knives from the dojo. In the ring, Nicky imagines Pei-Ling beside her. Cheering her on while she faces different people with different strengths. Telling her that the strengths and weaknesses are both important--because one person's weakness can also be used as their own strength, like how Nicky's small build can allow her to hit lower or drive more power in her hits.

At Althea's apartment, Mei-Li visits wanting her daughter to help with getting Ryan to move back in. Only to catch the livestream of Nicky's fight. Seeing Nicky in action. This makes Mei-Li back away and run. Althea and Ryan become worried.

When Althea and Dennis are left alone, Althea decides to tell Dennis about her experience at Cloudrush. At first Dennis is angry, he wants to strangle Althea's ex-boss himself. But after calming down, Dennis tells Althea that her secret doesn't change the way he feels about her.

The episode ends with Nicky winning the tournament. Henry getting the knives--and evidence that would help shut down the dojo front of the fight ring, preventing them from recruiting more fighters. But when Nicky gets home, Mei-Li is waiting for her. "I saw what you did. At that martial arts tournament." Nicky is perturbed. "That's not the life I wanted for you. But I feel like I pushed you into doing that. Like I pushed your brother into leaving our house. I don't want to push my children away, Nicky. So I'm no longer going to meddle in your lives. Go back to who you wanted to be before I sent you on that arranged-marriage trip three years ago. Get back together with Evan. Go back to law school. Just, please: stop fighting." This leaves Nicky speechless.

Episode 8: Silence

Happy Dumplings is in trouble. A lawsuit has been filed against the restaurant for discriminating against disabled people. Nicky is immediately able to prove that it's a fraudulent lawsuit designed to shakedown store owners who can't speak in English fluently--but unlike Happy Dumplings, other Chinese businesses in the neighborhood don't have former law school students under their roofs.

Mei-Li encourages Nicky to work with Evan to find out out what's going on with the fraudulent lawsuits, hoping that it will keep Nicky out of the warrior way. Jin confronts his wife with regards to her pushing Nicky towards Evan, when Henry is already helping their daughter move on. Mei-Li tells Jin the truth: she saw Nicky fighting people to save someone. She's scared for their daughter. Jin is confused. What's wrong with having a daughter who knows and is willing to defend others? Mei-Li decides to tell Jin the truth. (Off-screen, because there's a revelation--and it helps story-wise if we find out about it with the main character.)

While Nicky and Evan are busy canvassing the businesses in Chinatown that have received a lawsuit, they get assistance from Ryan and Joe--the latter of whom is working with the San Francisco Disability and Aging Services. None of the lawsuits can stand in court, but some of the business owners have already paid up, wanting to keep their head down and not rock the boat. Nicky and Evan trace the lawsuits back to Triad connections. Evan tells Nicky they need to get the police involved. Nicky, angry at Asians knocking down other Asians, thinks it's time to take measures into their own hands.

With Nicky busy with the fraudulent lawsuits, Henry heads back to Professor Chau's office to find out why he hasn't heard back. He learns that the professor still hasn't returned--so he breaks into the office to take a manuscript that was on loan to the professor. While inside the office, he finds a puzzle box that has a connection to the mystical weapons. He takes it too.

Meanwhile, Althea is roped into a family dinner night with Dennis's family. The dinner gets awkward when Dennis's father brings up the news about Althea's co-worker speaking up about sexual harassment in Cloudrush. Dennis is about to stand up for Althea's co-worker when his mother says the woman is probably just trying to shakedown the boss into giving her money or a higher position. Althea defends her co-worker. Dennis and his sister Chloe sides with Althea. But Mr and Mrs Soong tell them that they're just idealistic. They've had experience with people who use social justice just to get a leg up in the business. That not every victim is a real victim. This forces Althea to speak her truth. That she was a victim too. She just didn't want to say anything because she feared people won't believe her. And she feared right. She walks out. Dennis follows her against his parents' wishes.

Nicky almost gets in trouble with the Triad, but Evan is there to back her up. He tells her that he will lose his job if they find out what he's doing, and Nicky says that they're helping people--what's wrong with that? They discover that the Triad is now being run by the former boss's son, with the previous head still being in prison. Nicky wants to know why they're shaking down the Asian business owners. The new boss reasons that those business owners benefited from his father's protection for many years--and they turn their back on him when he needed them the most. Nicky tells him that his dad is a jerk who took advantage of people. "And you're worse because you're using important fights to your own gains--which makes it harder for people who are legitimately fighting for their rights to be heard." Nicky lays the smack down on the new boss of the Triad and his men. Evan points to Nicky everything the police will need to shut down the new Triad operations because he has to leave before the cavalry arrives.

Nicky, Althea, and Ryan get together to compare their days. Althea tells her siblings that Dennis's family now knows about her secret. And Dennis is standing by her. But she doesn't know if she has the courage to actually go public with the truth. Ryan breaks the news that he's going to be living on his own for the first time ever, as Joe has accepted a gig that would take him out of San Francisco for a month, because of the work they had done against the fraudulent lawsuits. And Nicky tells them how easy it was for her and Evan to return to their groove. Which makes her a little torn now, because she thinks she has feelings for Henry...but she still has feelings for Evan too.

At the district attorney's office, Evan gets a visit from Sabine. She shows him CCTV footage of Henry breaking into Professor Chau's office. She tells Evan that she's worried that Nicky might have fallen in with the wrong crowd.

And at the end of the episode, Henry brings the puzzle box he stole to Nicky. Nicky recognizes it as having the same puzzle as Pei-Ling's safe at the monastery. She opens the box. There's a jade key inside. And this is when Mei-Li and Jin arrive. Jin tells Nicky that Mei-Li has something important to tell her. Mei-Li sees the jade key in Henry's hand and tells him that he might as well hear what she has to say too. Their family comes from a lineage believed to be descended from a great warrior called Liang Dai-Yu. Mei-Li turns to Nicky: this belief already cost her a sister. She doesn't want to lose a daughter too. She pleads with Nicky; "you can build the life you want, and I won't argue. But please don't follow in my sister's footsteps. Please don't follow the warrior's destiny."

Episode 9: Isolation

In the last episode of this arc, Nicky wants to find out what happened to the aunt she never knew about. Mei-Li gives her all of Mei-Xue's letters and postcards, and notes that the last postcard came twenty-one years ago. Looking at the postcard, Nicky sees an odd red panda mascot. She searches for it on the internet with Althea's help, and they find out that it's in Canada. In a small town near Vancouver. Nicky invites Henry to go with her to look for Mei-Xue. Mei-Li wants to stop Nicky, but Jin tells her that they have to let Nicky see this through. Maybe meeting Mei-Xue will give her the clarity she needs.

Evan meets with Ryan at the community center, looking for Nicky. Ryan tells him that Nicky and Henry went on a road trip to Canada. Evan is alarmed. Ryan asks if Evan's jealous of Henry. Evan says it's more than that. He believes that Nicky is in jeopardy with Henry. This worries Ryan, so he calls in favors to cover his hospital shifts--as well as his shifts at the community center. He and Evan leave to follow Nicky to Canada.

While on the road, Henry takes Nicky to an old friend--who turns out to be a very sketchy person. Nicky begins to see Henry in a new light, and not a good one. When the old friend sells them out to someone who has it in for Henry, he and Nicky have to fight to get out of there. Henry apologizes to Nicky, and he starts to open up about his past.

Meanwhile, Althea gets targeted by the lawyers of Cloudrush Capital. They want her to sign a non-disclosure agreement for everything that happened to her at the company. Althea refuses. They threaten her career. Althea refuses to sign. This makes her want to stand up against her former boss even more. But first she needs to talk to her parents.

In Vancouver, Evan and Ryan are searching for Nicky. Mei-Li tells them that Nicky was looking for a small town with a red racoon mascot. Evan and Ryan drive towards the only town they could find on Google with red panda mascot and sees that Nicky and Henry have just arrived. Evan is about to accost Henry when Nicky sees the red panda statue from her aunt's last postcard.

After a bit of asking around, Nicky finds Duke--the artist who sculpted the Red Panda--and finds out that he knows Mei-Xue. Duke invites Nicky and Ryan out back to talk about Mei-Xue, leaving Evan and Henry alone. Evan quickly accuses Henry of not being true to Nicky. He shows Henry photos from the cctv footage that caught Henry stealing from Professor Chau's office. Henry tells Evan he can explain. When Nicky returns. But when they realize that they can't hear Nicky, Ryan, or Duke anymore, the two quickly head to the back of the Duke's house--but there's no one there.

Nicky and Ryan are following Duke on a trail. When they reach a certain area, Duke turns against them. He says that Mei-Xue told him that there would be people after her. Duke promised Mei-Xue that he will keep her safe. Nicky and Ryan explain that they really are Mei-Xue's niece and nephew. Nicky even shows the postcard. But Duke doesn't want to believe them. Until Nicky calls Mei-Li, to asks her to talk to Duke. Which finally makes Duke believe. He tells Nicky that he's no longer welcome at Mei-Xue's house, but if they follows his map--they will find what they're looking for.

At home, Althea has already told her parents about what she had gone through Cloudrush Capital. Mei-Li wants to know what Althea wants them to do. She tells them that there's nothing they can do, that they have already done everything she could ever want or need: because they love her and believe her. She just wanted them to know what she had gone through before she goes public. Jin and Mei-Li hug their daughter.

Nicky and Ryan reach Mei-Xue's house, but it's abandoned. There are clear signs of someone recently fleeing the scene though. Nicky finds journals in the house. She takes photos of the pages. She is about to leave when Ryan finds a photo of Mei-Xue and Mei-Li with their own parents. Ryan recognizes their Wai-gong and Wai-po. Nicky hears something from the back and exits through the kitchen--to find that there's a grave in the yard. A grave with Mei-Xue's face. Nicky calls Mei-Li. "Mom, I've got bad news." Inside the house, Ryan finds a long box that has inscription. "Duke, send this to Mei-Li if something happens to me."

At the end of the episode, Nicky and Ryan reunite with Evan and Henry, apologizing for setting off on their own. Evan then tells them that Henry has something important to say. Henry sighs and comes clean to Nicky: His father was a guardian of one of the eight weapons. He's been helping Nicky because it is his duty to keep the weapons, at least the one that his family was supposed to keep safe, separate from the others.

#Kung Fu CW #tv talk #my words

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chyuans · 3 years

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hello , hello ! first of all , i’m super excited to be here even if i’m like 10 hrs LATE ( gmt timezone things ) i’m noe , a gay they / them at the age of 19 , and this privileged lil disappointment of a jock boy is gonna be filling the position of kong_01 . despite the rumours ? yuanjun’s actually not nearly as bad as some of the people he’ll be meeting here >:) but you’ll get to know more about that below ! if you’d like to plot just light up that HEART , or add me on disc*rd which i’ll give out in im’s , where i’m infinitely faster . if i’m not gaming . no tw’s under the cut .

* backstory. > many people know of yuanjun, but few people truly know him. he's the famous kong families’ son, heir to the kong legacy, now forward position for south korea men’s national hockey team - which brought forth a ton of international fame from back home and amongst hockey lovers worldwide. while his talent is undeniable, he is long overshadowed by his families’ accomplishments, forever reminded that he’d never be the perfect son they’d hoped for, and no one ever lets him forget it.

> being the child of business tycoons who’s art business seemed to never be on the decline, tended to lend itself to an unconventional, pretty lonely childhood.

> although jun no longer wants to dabble in the stupid shit he probably did as a teen, and escape from their home in a childish fit of rage and make the lives of the various nannies that tended to him while his parents were off being great hell, he still wonders sometimes whether this profession is what he would’ve wanted if he’d just not wanted to spite his parents. he loves hockey - that fact is undeniable. he thanks the nanny who took him there once out of necessity to stop his whining, and he fell in love with it almost instantly. but he also questions whether he gravitated to it because it was something he could throw himself into wholeheartedly to fill a void.

> he's very open to different types of people, and after being scouted at 19 and having a massive shift both in culture and identity as he then begun to travel worldwide, he’s a tiny bit more wordly now than he was back then. he's much more concerned about who you are underneath than superficial appearances, which means developing relationships are few and far between, because a lot of people do approach him because of his fame/fortune. he's unjudgemental to the point where his friends worry about his naivety and how easily he trusts people, but he's absolutely not dumb, just very well versed on telling good people from the bad.

> jun may even come across as naïve, but he's very aware of that perception is nearly important as reality. he's not extroverted in a way that demands conversation, but he knows how to talk to anyone from any background even if its just to maintain pleasantries. after competing in various competitions and versing players from canada to japan, he's become much more sharp and ambitious, a guy who very rarely lets distractions take their course. perhaps it’s with this that his family loathe his choices all the more, with his appetite, he was born with the skills required to run a business - pity he never took to anything of the creative sort.

> working in a fast, stressful, highly coveted job such as pro-sports is a full time job and then some; jun doesn't spend much time not working on it. outside of his schedule, he likes bettering his stamina at the gym and eating healthy. he likes being surrounded by authentic people or nobody at all. he’s not one for trying new things and having new experiences due to time management, tending to stick to a schedule.

> he gets a lot of bad press though, which is beginning to weigh a little heavy on him. doubly now the murder has people talking. from being accused of performance-enhancing pills, various personality scandals, to being linked with ‘dating’ (see: ruining the image of) idols and chaebol’s alike. right now, he’s currently battling a lot of unwanted publicity because of a misunderstood interaction online against a wealthy sweetheart that went sour.

> while jun might be generally unsympathetic and analytical when it comes to developing relationships with people that’ll last long-term, he's a bleeding heart when it comes to kids who may have experienced the same lonely upbringing as he did, without the financial gains. right now he spends sunday’s teaching a bunch of local foster home kids how to skate, and is trying to fund a couple of sports scholarships for those who show promise under a fake name, just generally being a good ‘ole guy.

> his family do not approve of his job, ofc. in fact neither of his parents have ever attended any of his matches to this day, and are only on semi-decent terms with him because jun begrudgingly is still tied by name to the business and shows his face at events for all of 30 minutes until he physically can no longer maintain pleasantries. his celebrity image perhaps is one thing they can manipulate, and even then, jun could get into scandals galore and still be doing his job. good press, bad press, it has the kong’s family name at the forefront of peoples’ minds, which always brings forth revenue.

> pros: could be a lot worse considering his upbringing, collected, and level-headed most of the time. wicked good at sports, and keeps a cool head in a tough situation. ambitious, curious, a little reckless. eager to prove himself, rich? and very endeared to people/places he finds fascinating. which are many. knows where the good, authentic chinese cuisine is. hardworking and very interested in the idea of Progress.

> cons: the most private person alive, will not divulge any palatable information about himself or his feelings. devil's advocate always. will put himself and others at an arm’s length the second he feels (disgusted noises) e-emotions (love, namely). gets bored easily. paranoid, leads with the head more than the heart. friends > > > family. a little self-involved, never fucking sleeps - will be that neighbour you can hear padding around above your apartment at 3.05 am like it’s mid-day, aaaaand Loves Winning Above All Else

* personality & relationships.

> like many others, jun has his fair share of surface-level friends. he’s quick to be interested in people, to get to know them better, but it's difficult for him to get closer than that after a childhood of being picked up and dropped by those who looked over him - which kinda has left him with abandonment issues.

> he’s a curator of neat things that aren’t too overtly complex, and that includes friendships. so if you have something unusual about you, whether it's a talent or a way of thinking, he would be inclined to get to know you better. also, he has a lot of leverage with his job. being friends with a sports star slash million dollar trust fund baby who can get you free shit never hurts, just don’t befriend him for the perks, yanno?

> jun is very dedicated to his vision of things, and can sometimes be very obstinate in the way he a) wants them to be done b) doesn't accept other options, think steve jobs. he's very mercurial and can be nice one minute but isn't afraid to switch to hardass boss to get things done and did. > he is insanely competitive and his strive is drawn out by always wanting to be on top. truly first child material. that's the kind of guy he is, with standards that do not reflect his passive side too well, which sometimes can get him into some “personality” scandals. he is driven, motivated, always looking for ways to be winning.

> i'm sure someone is bound to hate him, he’s probably got a few accounts online dedicated to a steady stream of shit-talking, given his cutthroat status or holding many hockey cups.

> jun doesn’t think too much about his sexuality - he'd probably best be labelled as pan, but leans towards those who identify as women? because of his current placement in a workspace, and with a cultural identity, that both don’t often lend themselves to lgbtq+ rights, i doubt he’d ever make that public.

> he works amongst some of the fittest people in the world, he knows how to appreciate beautiful bodies, but he's not about to discriminate. he's tragically a committaphobe and isn't interested in anything long-term right now, although i think it'd be funny if someone tried. he's very open for flings and one-night stands and even a friends with benefits sort of set up.

* wc’s. > bring me his baby bro and sis. i command u. i have many thoughts > somebody who maybe gets in on his foster-kid situation? idk maybe they have a perception of jun being what he is in the articles they read of him, but they see him and are like <3_<3 he actually real Nice huh. i see this being romantic but it could bloom a really nice, wholesome friendship too. > enemies. not gonna lie, he doesn’t vibe with rich kids w / a stick up their ass, especially since a lot of the people he works with aren’t from exorbitant families. people who loathe him for declining to take over his families’ business? like the boy can’t even name more than 3 artists off of the top of his head? > fwb except neither of them know what “just friends” mean. > i would love if jun had a confidante. a best friend, a partner in crime, a total bromance 'cause i can never get enough of those. whatever label you ‘wanna put on it. wiping up each other’s messes. maybe a Betrayal in the works > again, gonna be a wc, but i would love a “rival” of jun's on a similar level (or bigger) that’s entirely fabricated based off of trashy articles or a misunderstood interaction online. bonus points if they’re an absolute sweetheart, well loved by most people, and generally the antithesis of jun with his multiple drug/personality rumours, which in contrast, make him seem like the bad guy.

> party buddy. this guy hasn’t touched alcohol/cigarettes/any other stimulants since he was underage and wanted to rebel. the word “relax” does not exist in his vocabulary. Help

#cheong.intro

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thelivebookproject · 4 years

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Talking Books With @speculative-imaginaries!

[What is this and how can I participate?]

Last interview of the year!!!!!!

Today we discuss books for class, reading outside your comfort zone, and Hercule Poirot. Come and join!

Important note: I haven’t changed or edited any of the answers. I’ve only formatted the book titles so they were clearer, but nothing else. Because I’m incapable of shutting up, my comments are between brackets and in italics, so you can distinguish them clearly.

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[Image description: a square titled “Know the blogger”. Name & pronouns: Rebecca, she/her; three adjectives to describe her: Southeast Asian, nerdy & distraced /end]

1. What is a book you discovered thanks to having to read it for school/uni?

I studied literature, so the answer is: too many! But lately, I’ve been thinking about the novel Their Dogs Came with Them, by Helena María Viramontes, which is set in a sort of slantwise East Los Angeles against the historical backdrop of the Chicano Movement.

If you’ll let me cheat, other books from the syllabus that have stuck with me include Nella Larsen’s Passing; Rob Roy by Walter Scott; and John Milton’s Paradise Lost.

[*takes notes* The only one I’ve heard of from this is Milton’s, so I’ll look up the others for sure! Their Dogs Came with Them, specially, sounds really interesting.

Am I profitting off my own interviews to get books recs? Perhaps. Was this my goal all along? Who knows.]

2. Last book you read that was out of your "comfort zone"?

The Sweetest Fruits, which is the most recent novel by Monique Truong. I did not finish it!

The premise of the novel is that different narrators remember the enigmatic 19th-century writer Patricio Lafcadio Hearn, a Greek-born Irishman who migrated first to the United States and then Japan.

The narrators are his mother Rosa; his first wife Alethea, who was enslaved as a child; and his second wife, Setsu. There’s a fourth section, but, again, I did not finish the book—I found the voices in the first-person narration to be extremely stilted and contrived.

It’s a shame, because Truong employs the same kind of narrative voice in her debut novel, The Book of Salt, to excellent effect; I read it next, as a sort of apology to the author, and enjoyed it. It’s about a Vietnamese cook, Binh, who lives in exile in 1930s Paris in the employ of Gertrude Stein. (Truong’s second novel, Bitter in the Mouth, is in my opinion the most readable of the trio, and conveniently also has the most straightforward and conventional plot.)

I didn’t expect The Sweetest Fruits to be “out of my comfort zone,” because I’d read her writing before, so I was quite disappointed.

3. Do you have any favourite film adaptations?

Alfonso Cuarón’s Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. The book is the best of J.K. Rowling’s maudlin ramblings, and Cuarón distilled it into something even better, something truly innovative and boundary-pushing and atmospheric and his own. It doesn’t always work (the shrunken heads on the Knight Bus) but when it does, it’s fantastic (“HE WAS THEIR FRIEND!”).

Being a long-time Remus/Sirius shipper (the pining! the heartbreak!) only adds to the appreciation.

Let’s also not forget the iconic Hermione-punches-Malfoy scene! Purely a coincidence, I just realised that I own a very similar hoodie and used to wear the same shade of pink lipstick. Wow, now I love this even more.

[It IS a really good film!!!! JKR aside, this was always my fave Harry Potter book, and I do agree that the film was an excellent adaptation for the most part]

4. Have you ever been to a convention/book fair/etc?

When I was younger, I hoped to visit the San Diego Comic Con one day. I never achieved that, but I think I’ve fallen out of love with the concept of cons. On the other hand, academic conferences are :D, I hope to attend many more, and I had a wonderful, eye-opening, thrilling time at the National Association for Chicana and Chicano Studies (NACCS) annual conference when I was in college.

5. Favourite male character?

This is the most difficult question. I could tell you all my favourite female characters in fiction (not least of which are Terry Pratchett’s Angua von Überwald, especially in the painfully romantic The Fifth Elephant, or Imra Ardeen, a.k.a. Saturn Girl, especially in Legion of Super-Heroes: The Beginning of Tomorrow), but I… can’t say I’ve ever paid as much attention to the dudes 😮

So I had to put a lot of thought into this. I’m still not thoroughly satisfied with my response, but I’m leaning towards one of two great detectives—either Hercule Poirot (Agatha Christie) or Sherlock Holmes (Arthur Conan Doyle), both of whom are tremendous eccentrics with a curious sense of social graces and a delight in overturning people’s expectations.

On the whole, I think I prefer Poirot, who is the more quixotic—and more fallible, therefore more interesting—of the two.

To be fair, his characterisation can be wildly inconsistent, because Christie was a wildly inconsistent writer, done in by commercial instincts and possibly, in her later years, dementia (we do not speak of The Big Four).

Now, Murder on the Orient Express is remembered for Poirot’s famous line, “I do not approve of murder,” that sets up the moral problem of Curtain: Poirot’s Last Case. But, in my opinion, it’s the overlooked 1940 murder mystery One, Two, Buckle My Shoe where Poirot is given a situation at once both ethically clear (turn in the culprit!) and extremely relatable to our modern sensibilities.

Mild spoiler: Poirot is told that it might be in the national interest to let the killer of an innocent dentist go free. He refuses, insisting that even the national interest cannot be worth the life of another human being. (Moral rectitude! Cue audience applause.)

Relatedly, I find some of Christie’s 1940s and 1950s novels fascinating simply as documentation of social change at that time in British history.

[I, too, prefer Poirot. He’s more human while still being mildly annoying, while Holmes, to me, is just too annoying overall. But I still have quite a few Christie books to read, and I’m looking forward to seeing the Poirot character changes you mention here.]

Free space!

I love recommending things to read to people! In fact, I’m quite notorious among my IRL friends for this trait. Apparently, I basically throw a lot of titles/links at them and run away, and turn everything into a book club/discussion group.

So, please, hit me up in my ask box if you ever need a rec or ten! Just give me a theme or a topic and I’ll check the great index catalogue in my head. 🤓

You can follow her at @speculative-imaginaries.

------------------------------------------------

Thank you, Rebecca! This was a really good interview.

Next interview: Wednesday, 6th of January!

#talking books with #booklr #december 2020 #thelivebookproject

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nehawriter16 · 4 years

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2020 / 24

There are only 2 things I can do on an airplane – dose up on sleeping meds and pass out, or order one too many cappuccinos, keep my exhausted brain awake, and will it to talk to paper. The flight from JFK was in the afternoon and in the chaos of leaving for the airport early in the morning, I forgot to pack my pills.

Two cappuccinos in, my hands were shaking and begging to be typing out the Mrs. Maisel speed monologue that constantly runs in my head. Even though there is a month left in this year, I decided to do my annual New Years Eve post. Over the last 3 days, I’ve been drilling it down to go from gibberish to slightly readable.

Here it is.

Like the rest of the world, in January, I was blissfully unaware of the shitstorm that would follow. I got into several colleges on the East Coast for a Master’s in Finance degree. Every day, I would race down the stairs with my laptop and show my parents: another admit, another scholarship! On the surface, I was making pro and con lists for each one. Deep down, my heart had already picked Fordham in New York. It was New York. Nothing else would cut it.

The day after I turned 24 in January, I also met my (now ex) boyfriend on the internet. Completely by accident, he saw my profile because a mutual friend followed my writing. Two days later, she texted me and said he would like to talk to me. Did I want to talk to some boy studying in Paris? I was single and bored and already had my year laid out for me, so why wouldn’t I?

It moved quickly. Three months later, we had been speaking every day and were exclusive. We had not hung out in person. It was stupid, but I had never come across anybody who liked me as much as he did. In every relationship I had been in before this, I always knew I was more emotionally involved. I fell in love with his devotion to me – he would stay home (who stays home in Paris!) and choose to spend virtual time with me over going to clubs with his friends. I watched myself become the epicenter of his life and thought – this is how much I’ve always wanted to mean to somebody.

In March when the pandemic hit and India shut down, my father sent a car to pick me up from my internship in Bombay, where I had moved two weeks ago. I didn’t pack so much as my toothbrush – the driver brought me home and I had no idea that it would be months before I’d get to leave again.

Morales stayed high in the beginning – we thought it would end in 21 days, then 2 months, then 5. It has taken over the whole year now, and despite us gridlocking it into “2020,” we all know the first half of 2021 will also be filled with masks and sanitizers and not hugging your friends. I wonder if I will ever settle into somebody’s arms without cringing again.

March melted into April, that melted into one long drawl until suddenly it was August and college was beginning the following week. I found myself refreshing the US consulate’s website absent mindedly one afternoon, and all appointments that had been suspended suddenly showed you a tiny little bar that read “reschedule.” I screamed and clicked.

I had thought I would be spending the year stuck at home, awake and attending classes at odd hours. While my classmates went to happy hours in dive bars in Manhattan, I would be in my bedroom, still chained to my parents’ curfews and ultimatums. But then suddenly, I was standing before a US immigration officer in Bombay, and he was telling me I had been granted my student visa.

All that was left to do was book a flight to New York, and break the news to my boyfriend, who was on his way to my abandoned apartment at this very moment for our first date, 7 months after we first began speaking. He had come home in March when France went into lockdown, and it was starting to feel like a throuple with long distance, the third and very present member in our relationship.

I packed up the belongings I had left there, and we sat across from each other on the double bed. I kissed him first. There were roadblocks, and our personalities and views clashed on so many important things, but I loved him. Two days later, I said: I have to leave for New York in 3 weeks. He didn’t take it well.

In September, I landed at JFK. When the wheels of the plane made contact with the runway, I was smiling behind a mask I’d had on for 16 hours. On the Air Train to Manhattan, I felt a sense of happiness wash over me and toyed with the possibility that maybe I wouldn’t mind if it was just me in this city. I would be okay alone.

I found an apartment, a roommate, signed a lease in a beautiful building in Hell’s Kitchen, walking distance from college. I met lots of people from my class and instantly picked out the ones I wanted to become good friends with. I dove straight into academics and extra curriculars at college – after 5 months of nothing happening, life was suddenly exciting again.

When New York lit up every night, it felt like anything was possible. I started eating better and walking a lot. My hair grew out from the bad haircut I’d gotten the year before. Coffee was no longer just coffee, it was finding a new café and walking through Central Park. Drinks were not just drinks, they were about accidentally stumbling onto a secret bar in the East Village, finding favorite spots in the neighborhood, letting a cute waiter recommend a cocktail to me even though I was perfectly capable of picking one myself.

The boyfriend and I were fighting more than usual. I was getting tired of it. We had discussed a life together, but it was slowly and surely becoming clear to me that I would resent myself for making big compromises for a person who still had a lot of growing up left to do. As New York got cold, I did too – without trying. When one particular argument got really bad, I asked for a break from the relationship. He didn’t like it.

A week later, I woke up to a girl sending me screenshots on Instagram of her conversation with him (pre me asking for a break) on a dating app, and without getting into details, I will tell you it was not a conversation anybody with a girlfriend should have been having. I should have been broken in half on the inside, but now I could finally say, without feeling guilty – this relationship was not working, nobody was happy, and you were so unhappy you thought talking to other women was okay. I spent all of one day drinking with a friend in Central Park and sobbing myself to sleep.

But mostly, what hit me after the initial shock had died down was a tsunami of relief. I felt lighter, freer. I try not to think too hard about the trauma that comes from finding out that the person you think is so devoted to you, and definitely loves you more than you love them (or so you think) is being unfaithful, because it hurts a part of me that is already very bruised from all the things that have happened to me before. So I don’t.

But it was New York. I was young and smart and there was a wine shop down the block that sold $14 bottles of Moscato. I didn’t need much else to know I would be okay. At 20, I would have jumped right back into going on dates every other night to distract myself from what had happened, then never called any of those men back. At 24, this emotional speed bump resulted in a lot of quiet introspection in my bedroom. I spent a lot of time alone, on the phone with friends, and walking around the city. I had learnt to like my own company enough to not fill a suddenly empty void with anybody else’s, even though there have been several tempting offers in this past month, and sometimes, I have succumbed to them, but mostly I am very strict with who deserves my company.

It was nice to spend that second month in New York by myself. I owed absolutely nobody a single minute of my time. No one asked me questions, or called me and expected me to share my day unless I wanted to, and once I had worked hard and cleared out the things from my to do list for the day, time stretched out before me and I had the autonomy to decide the smallest thing down to who to meet, what to eat, how much to sleep.

I didn’t let my academics and ambition suffer – no matter what happens, I never do and I never will. The grades stay up – it’s built into my system. I am back home now and just 2 days in, I find myself wishing I hadn’t left New York. I was starting to build a life I liked there, and the only price I had to pay for it was a 4 pm sunset. It would have been slightly lonely, but I like the time I spend by myself. I worked hard to become like that.

This month, I will see my friends here at home. I’ve missed them. I can’t believe I grew up in this city and I already feel so alienated from it just from 60 days of living away. Is that how badly I wanted to leave?

I might be dramatic and fly back on my 25th birthday, so that I can say, “I was on a flight,” and ignore the slowly expanding bubble of dread that comes with turning that old. I like the ambiguity of airports and I’m the sort of inherently sad person who would love to be alone and unreachable on my birthday.

I acknowledge that my problems this year have been so small in the face of those of us who have lost family members, contracted the virus, had to give up internships or had jobs taken from us, been torn away from family, or had to make it through this alone.

I feel almost guilty that good things have happened to me in a year that has predominantly been bad for almost everyone else. I feel apologetic, even though from 2017 to 2019, I was treated like life’s sick joke so I should deserve these good things that I worked hard for.

I definitely feel myself growing up, though. Emotionally I find I have a clearer idea of what I want from relationships and friendships, and I don’t second guess cutting off anybody who doesn’t serve that purpose or messes with my mental peace. I still have days when self-doubt comes over for a cup of tea, leaves me weak in the knees, but most days are free of it. I am also moving out of that chameleon phase where I mirrored what I thought a room full of new people would want from me, and I am unapologetically myself, irrespective of who’s watching.

Last year I remember wishing for something stupid, like “I wish there was somebody to kiss on New Years Eve,” because I’ve never had anybody to smack lips with when it’s midnight. This year, I don’t care. I’ll kiss myself in the mirror, for all I care. I love her. She’s my homie.

It’s been a weird year. I know who I was in 2019, and I remember wondering if I was proud of her. Things were still in purgatory then. But I steered my life and brought it back on track. This year, I am proud of myself without doubting it.

There’s no measuring scale for personal growth, but if there was, I feel at least a couple of inches taller in 2020.

#personal 2020 writing

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