#4月10日

[asagaquru]

結婚してからというもの人生で一番「おめでとう」と祝われている。自分のことに関しては大胆なのに、そこに他人が介在すると途端に臆病になってしまうわたしは、くすぐったい日々を過ごしている。

人に祝われて素直に喜べるような純粋無垢な人になりたかった頃もあった。けれど今はこんな自分で良かったなと思う。寛容に、他の言い方をすれば細かいことに必要以上考えないように、悪い言い方をすれば大雑把になっている。心の機微を客観的に見るようになった。ここ数年でだいぶ生きやすくなった。

新婚ではあるが、寝室は別だ。そもそも同棲をした始めから家にはシングルベッドとクイーンベッドを置いている。夫がひとりっ子が故になのかひとりで寝たい人種なので、日に日に別の寝室で寝る日が増え、今や結婚して1ヶ月の間に同じベッドで寝たのは2日間だけだ。今の状態に至るまで寂しく思う夜は何度もあったが、これにも慣れた。これを変だという友人もいるけれど、お互いの寝相や就寝時間の違いを考慮した結果、睡眠効率を上げるにはこれが一番良い。寝室が別だからと言って気持ちが離れることはないのだし。ただ一つ、就寝時に心臓発作を起こしたら気づいてもらえないなと思っている。

そうこうしている間に、春の匂い。陽だまりの匂い。暖かくなって、雪がなくなって、外気が匂いをはらむようになった。今日は蕗のとうが土から顔を出しているのを見た。「冬は雪が匂いを吸着させてたのかな」と夫に話したら「冷凍庫に生ゴミを保管するのと同じじゃない？」とのこと。なんて可愛げのない表現。ともすれば、これは生きているものたちの匂い。死に向かっていくものの匂い。また季節が一巡りする。

[blue-uno]

普通

一度「俗に言う普通」から外れると戻るのはとても難しい。と同時に、普通を辿ることができたらどれだけ楽だったろうと思う。でも、普通を歩んでる人にはそれなりの苦悩と苦労がある。結局どの道でも、大変は大変。

多くの人が辿る人生も良し。

夢を追いかけて、周りと違っても良し。

後ろ指さされても、歩める力があるのも良し。

あらゆる「良し」が存在するんだから周りは関係ないんじゃないか。私はとうに、普通を外れもはや周回遅れだ。でも、時間をかけてそんな自分を受け入れることが出来たし今は自分を誇れるようになった。

こうして自分を切り売りするのはどうかと思った時期もあったけど、此処があるおかげで私らしくを持ち続けられる。

普通は良い。

けど、普通じゃないのも良い。

「あんた普通じゃないよ」って誰が決めたことなの？普通じゃないのを証明できるものはある？分かってる、ものとかそういうんじゃないことは。これは感覚の問題であることも。でも、感覚ってやっぱり人それぞれだし証明できるものがあるとやっぱり楽だよね。

正しさを証明するのは難しい。同じく普通も証明するのは難しい。

[a-s-k-cafe]

平日は本当にヒマな片町…😢

かと言って週末も忙しいかと言うとそうでもなく…😓

どうしたものか…今がガマンの時なのか…💦

クヨクヨしたってどうしようもない！

ASKCAFE本日も営業です🈺

お待ちしております🙇

[potatoyiart]

Parsee Bento

[koubu6841]

Parsee and Friends.

This was drawn for Parsee's day. Anyways, her catchphrase "Paru" has a special meaning hidden somewhere, so go find it!

[lilycomplex]

https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/129174188 (own work)

[hauntingbeautyart]

piece for Kurama’s April 10th Short Hair Collection Festival

Fun fact, it’s also my birthday

[jinsei-pika-pika]

[runpenparis]

おはようございます☀ 今日、8月10日は相棒の50の誕生日。 お祝いの日🥂スタートします。

[asagaquru]

すすきので恋人と飲む。締めパフェにするか締めラーメンにするかで揉めて、結局もう一件飲みに行くことにした。どこに入ろうかと放浪している途中、どこからかタバコの副流煙が鼻腔をくすぐる。途端、秋だなと思う。誰かの副流煙が良い匂いだと思うようになったら秋だ。冷気をはらみ始めた外の空気に、副流煙が心地よく香る。

恋人が「煙草ねえ」と呟くので「吸いたくなったね」と返す。「もう吸ってもいいかなーって。釣りとかジャズの時は吸ってたし、でも普段は吸ってないよ」 普段、彼のスーツからは煙草の匂いはしないし本当のことだろう。彼は、わたしと付き合って煙草をやめた。「わたしの前で吸わないでよね」「煙草嫌？」「わたしが吸いたくなるから嫌」別に吸いたくもならないけれど、適当な理由をつけた。わたしの前で煙草を吸われるのが何故か嫌だった。

少し前に釣りから帰ってきた彼のシャツのポケットに1本だけ入った箱を見つけたことがあった。彼が寝ているうちに、その1本を吸って捨てた。美味しくもなんともなかったけれど、その1本でわたしの寿命が5分30秒縮んだ。あとから彼に咎められるかと思ったけれど、なにも言われなかったから忘れていた。今思えば、きっと彼は箱ごと煙草が消えたことに気づいていたのだろう。だからこんな吸ってもいいかの打診をされている。

煙草を吸っている姿を見るのは嫌いじゃない。うちのベランダで煙草を吸う人がかつていて、その後ろ姿を見るのが好きだった。当時の恋人だった。冬は雪が積もるから、換気扇の下で吸っていた。けれど、煙草の吸っている間待つのが嫌な時があったし、何より喧嘩をした時におもむろに立ち上がってイライラしながら煙草を吸われるのが嫌だった。吸い殻でいっぱいの灰皿を喫煙者でもないわたしがよく綺麗にしてあげていた。忘れていたことを思い出した。

後日、すすきのでの副流煙のこと、１本だけ入った箱のことだけ話して「本当は吸いたいんでしょ、だからそんな打診をするんでしょ」と聞いてみた。そうしたら「普段吸わないから１本無くなってたのとか気づかなかった」「✳︎✳︎✳︎ちゃん考えすぎだよ」と言われて終わった。如何なる時もさらり、ふわりとしていて本当に恋人には敵わない。帰ってくる彼のスーツからは、煙草の匂いはせずにわたしの好きな彼の香水の匂いがする。

[aswan-jp]

「カーペットを敷き詰めるのって、大変なんでしょ？」

というわけでもないんです。

お部屋を採寸して1週間もあれば、上質なカーペットの暮らしがはじまります。 動かせない家具や柱があっても、オーダーなので大丈夫。 しかもロールカーペットなら、気になるズレや継ぎ目も少なく、美しく。 近所の #インテリア専門店 に依頼すれば、採寸・施工はもちろん、その後のフォローも安心です。

実は、手軽。そして心地いい。 それがカーペットの敷き詰めです。

天然素材のウール100%を、毛足の短いループタイプに仕上げた「ニューワーゲン」。 素材やテクスチャー、カラーや自由な形など。 自分の暮らしにぴったりの一枚と出会えるオーダーカーペット『Wall to Wall CARPET』からの紹介です。

カタログ：Wall to Wall CARPET edit1 カテゴリ：Wool 商品名：ニューワーゲン 品番：GNN-82、GNN-02、GNN-23、GNN-38、GNN-62、GNN-65 機能：防炎、防ダニ、防虫、抗菌、遮音、制電、工事対応(グリッパー施工可) くわしくは、この投稿を「保存」してお近くのインテリア専門店へ

またはプロフィール @aswan_jp のリンクから『Wall to Wall CARPET』をご覧ください

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[a-s-k-cafe]

今年もASKCAFEハロウィンバージョン🎃

オジさん1人で2時間かけて汗ダク😅

では、本日肌寒い金曜日.20時オープンしてお待ちしておりま〜す😇

[sydneyman2020]

いつ始まっていつ終わる?　Sydney Daylight Saving 毎年あるサマータイムについて。

こんばんは、シドニーマンです。   シドニーの季節は9月から暦の上では春になります。なので8月になれば日々暖かくなっていくのを感じます。半袖の人をチラホラ見るようにもなります。私見ですが暖かいのはありがたいことです。 そうこうしているうちに季節は移り変わり夏がやってきます。シドニーの夏は日差しもきつく日も長いのが特徴です。 シドニーがあるニューサウスウエールズ州(NSW)はデイライトセービング(Daylight Saving　日本人の間ではサマータイムと呼ばれています。）を導入しています。 そのサマータイム　Daylight Saving(デイライトセービング）ですが、開始される時期が決まっています。毎年10月第一日曜日から翌年4月第一日曜日までです。 シドニーの気候と服装 Sydney Climate and Clothing   サマータイム　Daylight…

[sooniebby]

ఌ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐄𝐑

w.c › 6.6k

warnings › bottom male reader. A faceclaim for him, if you need visuals. Based on my short Drabble. Changed some things to keep it fresh.

plot › a stalker (you) who becomes an idol, experiences withdrawn feelings from not being able to stalk your bae anymore due to scheduling issues. So your sister forces you to make some online friends, one you get particularly close to.

kinks › phone sex

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

Arakawa Naoki had a stalker.

Naoki couldn’t exactly remember when you began watching him. He just randomly noticed you appearing in places you weren’t before. At first he was creeped out—wondering what trusted adult he should tell.

Until he saw you trip over your own shoelace when trying to discreetly follow him into a grocery store.

Then he just started seeing you as a kid who wanted attention but would rather die than directly ask for it.

You were pretty harmless. After six months of your ‘stalking’, you began leaving him gifts and food. It was mostly his favorites too. How could he not appreciate you?

Once he had graduated middle school and moved to high school, he honestly expected to never see you again. Until he noticed you in his assigned classroom. Judging by how quickly you shoved a book in your face—you weren’t expecting him.

His luck.

That’s when he learned your name.

Momoi (Name).

Your last name was cute. Peach well? Adorable even.

He couldn’t find you scary at all. Though your classmates seemed to disagree. No one would talk to you or even glance your way unless they had no choice. He didn’t understand why, you were cute.

Sure, you didn’t put any efforts into your looks. Your tie was a mess, white shoes that were caked with dirt, cardigan missing buttons, a strange black stain on your blouse. Your face was permanently in a frown, eyes staring off into space if they weren’t looking at Naoki.

Okay.

Okay, maybe you weren’t cute to the average person.

But Naoki saw past that. He began paying attention to you—how could he not? He noticed that you were into music. One of the rare times you actually did something that wasn’t dedicated to him.

He saw you staring almost longingly at the music club last week. But you didn’t attempt to walk into the room, opting to quickly walk away.

You hardly knew how to hide your diary, having it out on your desk, wide open even when you left to the restroom. It made sense, no one ever went near you at all. Only Naoki cared enough to see what you could’ve possibly written.

5月10日 Arakawa-San recently got a bad haircut.. it’s really bad… but he’s still cute… so I’ll ignore it

5月11日 Sis keeps bothering me to audition, stupid. How do you nicely tell someone to shut up?

5月16日 Sis told me writing in the diary everyday would help me but honestly I feel like a psycho. Besides, I’m not sure what to write sometimes, should I just put nonsense?

5月17日 クククククククククククククククララララララララララ, おぉ〜 ??????? 悲しい嬉しい !!!!!!!! What if I jumped in front of the train, would it be an instant death? Hm

Mostly nonsense for the most part. Especially after May 17th. Seemed like you gave up actually writing your feelings in it. Oh well, it was a nice look into his weird stalker.

“Don’t you think Momoi-San is a bit… strange…?”

Naoki glanced up from your diary. He had taken it up from your desk yesterday and it seemed you hadn’t noticed yet. You were both now seniors and were once again in the same class.

“What do you mean?” Naoki questioned, glancing back at your diary. His friend, Nakamura groaned as he rubbed at his hair. He scooted closer which caused Naoki to quickly position your diary so Nakamura couldn’t get a passing glance.

“I feel like he follows you around! I’ve just started noticing!”

Naoki held back a laugh. Nakamura was about four years late.

“You’re imagining things. Why would anyone follow me? I’m not anyone important.”

“I guess… but…”

10月4日 Momo-Chan died yesterday. I didn’t think hamsters could live ten years. Sis really cared for that rodent

11月7日 I’ve been watching 悪い髪 for four years now but I haven’t even spoken to him this is bad, I got rejected from the university he applied to I haven’t even told mom and dad I only applied to one… they’ll kill me

12月19日 forgot I had this stupid thing sis is dragging me to an audition next year maybe by then she’ll forget I can just be a full time stalker

3月23日 she didn’t forget—it’s next week. Oh god, 行きたくない、行きたくない！姉さん、お願いだから

“Naoki! Since when did you read???” Nakamura snapped his fingers, catching Naoki’s attention.

“What?” Naoki closed the diary and shook his head, “you have no proof. No sense in getting paranoid over hearsay. Just leave it alone.”

Nakamura sighed and rolled his eyes, “fine. But I’m not being weird, that guys a freak. I won’t be surprised if he has nothing going for him after we graduate.”

ཆི❤︎ཆྀ

もとも

To say Nakamura was dead wrong would be an understatement. You and your sister must’ve went to that audition and passed with flying colors. Because next thing Naoki knew was that you were on a poster at his part time job with your sister, teasing your debut. Mo to Mo.

You had cleaned up nice for the photoshoot, Naoki felt validated for thinking you were cute underneath all that ‘dirt.’ It seemed the agency was leaning heavily into an alternative and more edgy look with you and your sister.

Naoki didn’t think he’d ever seen your bare arms before until that poster. That stare that your past classmates saw as terrifying was oddly sensually. He was happy that you had something going for yourself, his stalker.

But…

He didn’t expect that meant he’d only get to see you on the tv from now on.

2 years later

“(Name), stop wallowing in your stolen hoodie please. You can’t keep getting so sad every time it’s his birthday.” Hiyori, your sister said, kicking your back as she walked past you to the kitchen.

You only whimpered, curling into Naoki’s sweater that you stole on December 19th, your 2nd year at high school. He had left it in his locker one day and you just wanted it, luckily he often forgot to lock his locker.

“But… Sis…” You whined, wiping away a few tears with your hand. “I only know what university he went to… I have no time to see him anymore.”

“It’s not like you ever spoke to him.” Hiyori muttered, tossing an apple up and down as she walked back over to living room. She kicked you once more before plopping down onto the couch, resting her feet on your body.

You made no effort to move. “But… I liked seeing him… even if didn’t say anything to him. Seeing him.. helped.”

“You’re lucky he never noticed just how insane you are. You could’ve been in jail right now.”

“Mhm.” You glanced over at your phone, tapping on the screen. “Do you think he’s having a good birthday?”

Hiyori only hummed, “maybe. Arakawa Naoki, right? How’d you even start stalking him?”

“He helped me.”

“Helped. Yea, that’s enough information,” Hiyori shook her head, deciding she was done with you for the time being. She began tapping away at her phone, occasionally giggling. Probably her girlfriend.

You watched the time tick on your phone, right when it reached midnight. The day was now December 25th, Christmas Day. No longer Arakawa Naoki’s birthday. You groaned and turned off your phone, glancing over at Hiyori.

“Merry Christmas…”

“Merry Christmas. Let’s go to the aquarium, that’ll cheer you up.” Hiyori said, taking her feet off your body.

“Aquarium…” You muttered, shifting over to glance up at her. “Tokyo Sea Life Park?”

“If that’s what you want. It shouldn’t be too busy when we go.”

It was very busy.

“What the hell?” Hiyori groaned, pulling down her hat to cover her face. She squeezed past a group of students pressed against the windows. “Tch, these kids have no respect. Hogging up the glass, can’t even see shit.”

You hummed absentmindedly, glancing around. “It’s fine. I just want to see the voyagers.” Your face was properly covered with a mask and sunglasses, a hat resting on the top of your head.

“It’s a Sunday—why are so many people here! I’m sweating too much.” Hiyori complained, her mask slipping down a bit. “Go off without me, I need a water.”

“You sure?”

“Go!” She waved you off, already walking away.

“Ah, okay..” You only shrugged. Better to let her cool off than aggravate her any further. You dodged and weaved through the crowds, coming across couples and families that were taking photos of the fish. It had been two years since visiting Tokyo Sea Life Park in Edogawa City.

You’d come frequently on Mondays and Wednesdays because Naoki would usually have baseball practice. Despite how much you loved him, watching him practice could only be so much fun after awhile.

“Look, isn’t he cute?”

“Ah, don’t point at him! It’s rude.”

“Is he a model?”

“You can’t even see his face, his hat’s hiding it!”

You glanced over at the two girls whispering about, not paying any attention to the fish swimming behind them. Ah, young love. Cute. You shook your head and looked over at the sign on the walls. Voyagers of the Sea… Voyagers of the Sea…

“Excuse me, are you looking for something?”

“Ah,” you glanced up, coming face to face with an employee. They were dressed a bit weird. Wearing a hat and mask. Could employees wear something like that? “Uh, hm, where’s the Voyagers of the Sea? It’s been awhile since I’ve been here.”

The employee turned their head to the map on the wall, muttering to themselves. Shouldn’t an employee know where everything is? You were about to just tell them to forget when they suddenly reached over and grabbed your hand.

“I found it. C’mon.” They sounded like a man. You gasped as he tugged you along. The path was bumpy, constantly having to skid to a stop due to the large crowds. You winced each time you bumped right into his back. Gosh, he had broad shoulders.

Two more sharp turns and another knock to your nose on his shoulder, you arrived at the Voyagers of the Sea. You rubbed your nose, groaning to yourself before glancing over at the tanks.

You couldn’t help but grin. “It’s still pretty.” You whispered mainly to yourself, stepping close to the glass. “Bluefin tuna,” you pointed as it swam past, “eagle ray, scalloped hammerhead.”

“Y’know,” you glanced back at the employee who was standing near you. He hadn’t left yet surprisingly. “Bluefin tuna are the largest tuna species. My sister says they’re also the tastiest. And scalloped hammerheads have a 360-degree vision, but then that means they can’t see in front of them. One time, when I was here as a student, one of the fishes was hiding in front of the scalloped hammerhead’s nose. And—”

“—You really like these things. Are you a marine biologist?” He suddenly interrupted you, tilting his head.

“Oh, sorry. I’m not. I couldn’t study something like that.” You didn’t elaborate. You glanced down at your hand, the employee’s hand casually holding yours. “Uhm. You, uh, don’t need to—”

“—Sorry.” He quickly dropped your hand as if he was burned. “Sorry. You just have… soft hands. Very comfortable.”

“Thanks,” you glanced at his name tag. “Nakamura-San.”

“Naka—?” He interrupted himself letting out a laugh, nodding slightly. “Right, right… I’m Nakamura.”

“Mhm. That’s what your name tag says.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Nakamura laughed. “Do you have anymore fish facts?”

“Aren’t you working right now? I don’t want to bore you.”

“It’s okay. I’m interested in learning.”

“Ah. Okay. Well, hammerheads give birth to live pups, and usually a female hammerhead can fertilize her own eggs without a male. But as soon as she has the pups, the baby hammerheads learn how to survive all on their own.”

“Really? They don’t need a parent?”

“No. They do just fine.”

“Self sufficient.” Nakamura hummed, pulling down his hat. “You’re interesting. Are you in school?”

“No. I uhm, work in the music industry.”

Nakamura perks up at that, looking over at you. Though you weren’t too sure due to his hat covering his eyes. “Really? Do you know Mo to Mo?”

You felt yourself freeze. “Ah, uhm, I’ve heard of them…”

“My friend really likes them. She blasts their music all the time, I think I know the lyrics by heart by now.”

“Mhm, they’re good, so I’ve heard.”

“Yea, have you—”

“—It’s Momoi Hiyori!!!!”

“Hiyori-San, sign my tits please!!!”

“Sign my forehead!!!”

“Momoi Hiyori?” Nakamura whispered as you felt yourself panic. The sounds of fans grew louder with the accompaniment of loud heels clicking against the floor.

There, your sister, hat long gone and mask off entirely, was sprinting your way. She was frantically motioning for you to start running as a crowd of fans were right on her heels.

“Crap.” You whispered, ready to book it but Nakamura grabbed your arm.

“Wait! Can I get your LINE ID?”

“LINE ID?” You whispered in shock. Only your family and manager had your LINE ID.

“Hurry up, Seabrain!!!!” Hiyori yelled, rushing past you.

You cursed and pulled out your phone, fumbling to open up LINE and show your QR code. “Here, here. Just scan it and add me.”

Nakamura rushed to scan the code, humming once he got it. “I got it. Let’s—” but as soon as he glanced back up, you were long gone.

“—hang out sometime…?”

He pulled off his hat and rubbed at his head. “He’s fast…” he glanced down at his phone and looked at your account.

Account Name: シーブレイン

“ぱらぱら” — 好きです

The profile picture was of a koi fish, a hand reaching into the pond to touch its scales.

“Seabrain? Cute.”

ཆི❤︎ཆྀ

ナオイス

シーブレインちゃん, hi~ it’s ’Nakamura’

“Good, good. Lean down further, please. Beautiful.” The photographer said. The sounds of camera flashing and continuous talking almost caused you to miss your phone ringing. Which was strange.

You had little to no contacts. Who could be texting you? It had been nearly two weeks since you had went to Tokyo Sea Life Park. You opened LINE and were surprised to see a request.

“Naoise? Naoise?” You struggled to pronounce the name, tilting your head. What type of name was that? It was just nonsense. “Seabrain-Chan? Is he making fun of me…?” You huffed and turned off your phone, placing it face down on the table.

“Who’s making fun of who?”

You squeaked, glancing up to see Hiyori. She was dressed in a skintight bodysuit, hair slicked back with copious amounts of gel, sharp dark eyeliner and black lipstick. “Hah, answer me.” She said, reaching over to grab your phone.

“Ah, wait!” You reached over to stop her but she easily grabbed both of your wrists in one hand and unlocked your phone.

“Hm? N-Nao-Naoise? Hm, strange name. Seabrain-Chan, hi, it’s Nakamura. Who’s Nakamura?”

“Just an employee at the Tokyo Sea Life Park. He asked for my LINE ID before we had to leave.” You grunted, trying to pull your hands free. How the hell was your sister stronger than you?

“Aren’t you going to answer him? He’s your first contact that’s not family or a coworker. Here, I’ll answer for you.”

“Wait!!”

シーブレイン

(⌒▽⌒)☆ hey, Nakamura-Kun~ I thought you’d never text me

“Are you insane?! Why did you use the a text face?!” You whined, as Hiyori showed you the text she sent. “And I sound so desperate!”

“Why not? It’s cute.”

“Cute?!” You groaned. “Not at all, only kids use that!”

“Not true. My girlfriend sends them to me all the time.” She released your wrists and hands over your phone, pulling out her own to text her girlfriend. “Anyway, talk to this Nakamura guy, maybe he’ll get you to forget Arakawa.”

You frowned. There’s no way you’d ever forget him. Not someone like him.

ナオイス

Aren’t you cute? 悪いな, 海洋くん。

I got busy, my parents and siblings came to visit me since they missed my birthday Couldn’t refuse them

Marine-Kun? You rolled your eyes. Well, it wasn’t like he knew your name. You didn’t really feel like entertaining this any longer but you thought about how your life has been so far. Sure, you technically had fans but you did feel a bit lonely.

Back then, you could watch Naoki and feel moderately okay. Just seeing him was good enough to brighten your mood. But you haven’t been able to see him in two whole years.

Maybe you should… try to forget him?

You shuddered at the thought. Okay. Not forget him. Just, gain a friend.

シーブレイン

気にしない 。

I was busy too. I have to prepare for an upcoming single

ナオイス

Single? Woah

Are you a producer? Songwriter?

シーブレイン

Ah

“Sis!!!” You suddenly shot up, startling Hiyori. She glared at you. “What should I do?”

“What? Why are you screaming?”

“I told him I have to prepare for a single! But! I don’t know what to say? Who do I pretend to be? A singer? Or maybe a makeup artist? Songwriter? I told him I worked in the music industry, I can’t possibly be a makeup artist, oh what should say—!”

“Just say you’re a backup vocalist and are participating in the music video.”

“Ah.” You grin. “Smart. You’re so smart, Big Sis!” You give her a wet kiss on the cheek that she quickly wipes away with a groan, turning your attention back to your phone.

シーブレイン

Backup vocalist. I was just asked to participate in the music video.

ナオイス

mjk? すごい！

You’re cool. I’m just studying meteorology.

Probably become a weather forecaster ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

シーブレイン

Weather forecaster? Is that what you want?

ナオイス

No way

I was a baseball player but

Fucked up left leg, it was bound to happen, I already sprained it once

シーブレイン

それな are you okay now?

ナオイス

Yea. It’s been a year now, I’m

ksnjdnwbdow

You froze, raising an eyebrow. “Ksnjd… is this roman alphabet slang I don’t know?” You began typing the letters into the search bar when he suddenly texted you again.

ナオイス

悪いな。

I need to head back to work, almost got caught by my boss (＞人＜;)

See ya~ シュモクザメ (^_^)/~~~

“Hammerhead shark?” You grumbled, unable to hide the slight smile on your lips. “He’s going to call me everything in the ocean…” you finally took the time to actually see his profile picture. It was of a teddy bear, brown with an eye missing, close to the camera. Though you could still see the background of beach sand.

“That was fast, did you forget about Arakawa by now?”

“Never!”

ཆི❤︎ཆྀ

“I’m not doing that again, Nakamura, those aquariums are stressful.”

Naoki sighed, shoving his phone into his back pocket. His hair was pulled into a ponytail as he slipped on some gloves. He began cutting up some fish.

“Why are you even in the kitchen?”

Nakamura rolled his eyes, “it’s my mom’s restaurant, I can go wherever. But c’mon, please? They’re only free on Sunday and I used up most of my vacation days already.”

“Sorry, I can hardly handle standing in here for three hours straight. I’m not doing your job for you again.” Naoki held up the knife, pointing it at Nakamura when he attempted to get close.

“Didn’t you get some guys LINE ID because of me?”

“Because of you?” Naoki chuckled, shaking his head. “Keep talking and you’ll replace this tuna.” He slid the knife clean against the tuna’s body, the head off without a second slice.

Nakamura rubbed his neck. “Sheesh. Fine fine. I’ll figure something out… so cruel. Ah, that Momoi kid is having a comeback soon. Do you still keep up with him?”

“No.” Naoki muttered, pulling out the spine from the tuna. “I haven’t since my accident. He stopped stalking me.”

“I still can’t believe you actually liked that he was stalking you.”

“You wouldn’t get it. But I’ve gotten over him, alright?”

“I’m glad I don’t. Try to form a healthy relationship with this new guy, okay?”

“Stop asking me to take your Sunday shifts for your mysterious babe, okay?”

ཆི❤︎ཆྀ

4 years ago

You were a senior in middle school, staring down at the lake beneath you. Your shoes were placed down beside you. Your backpack resting on the ground as you peered over the railing. You were a bit short back then, still lagging behind the other boys who were finally getting tall.

Hiyori had teased you’d probably end up her height. Lo and behold you were only an inch taller than her in the present.

“Is that… hm, what’s that one?” You whispered, pushing on your toes a little, trying to see what was floating above the water. It was a bit hard to see—the sun going down being your only source of light.

“They really need to make more light posts.”

You pulled at your uniform to only to feel your button pop loose, falling into the lake below. A curse was on the tip of your tongue as you looked down. It fell with a quiet plop, not even making enough noise or movement to seemingly bother the inhabitants of the lake.

The drop wasn’t high by any means. But the lake wasn’t safe for people to get in. It was deep and the current was surprisingly fast. Once you got swept in, it would be hard to leave. You were honestly wondering if this was actually a lake. It had to have been a river that was just unnaturally wide.

As you pondered what to actually call the body of water underneath the bridge, you heard someone yell.

You glanced to your left just before you tackled to the ground. A delayed cry left your lips from the sudden force. You awaited the pain but didn’t feel anything. The person who tackled you had managed to take the fall damage, now that you were laying atop of them.

You slowly gazed down, noting their middle school uniform, and to your shock—a leg brace on their left leg. A shocked gasp left your lips, catching sight of their forgotten crutches on the ground not too far from you.

This person… was insane?

Said person began to cough violently, their hands digging into your back. You sat up and made sure to not accidentally touch their left leg. The sunset was your only light at this point. Yellow-orange rays shined down on the boy beneath you.

His black hair formed around on the ground, resembling a halo. A little cut on his cheek. On his right cheek there was a mole, almost directly on his cheekbones. His hands slowly slide down your back before falling limply to the ground.

“Hey… Oi. Did you hit your head?!” You whispered, reaching down to touch the back of his head. Sure enough, as you brought your hand back, there was a bit of blood on the tip of your fingers.

You fished out your phone and quickly called for an ambulance. As you waited, you heard a little laugh. You glanced down to see the boy staring up at you, his lips slowly pulling into a little grin.

“At least..” he muttered, his voice hoarse. “The ambulance is for me.”

“What…? I—did you think I was going to jump?”

He didn’t answer, his gaze unfocusing. You gently rubbed his cheek, hoping to keep him awake.

“I was just looking at the water. I’m sorry, please don’t be too hurt because of me…” You frowned. The only reason your shoes were off was because the right shoe had torn open. You were just waiting for Hiyori to get back from the nearby convenience store with some flip flops.

Now you were waiting for an ambulance.

“Prob… just a concussion.” He suddenly whispered, humming slightly. “Don’t worry.”

“Don’t fall asleep. What’s your name?”

“Arakawa.. Naose.”

“Naose?”

“Se?” He began to giggle. “Did I say se? Nice? Ki… meant Ki.. Naoki…”

“Naoki?”

“Hm?”

“Stay awake, please. They’re almost here. Think about, ah, maybe the amount of sea life that can live in a river. How they live different to like, uh, ponds or lakes? Do you like koi fish?”

“Sorry… but that’s really boring…” He muttered, groaning. “I’m falling asleep.”

“Sea life is boring to you?”

“Very… but it’s nice that you like it. I think.. I like.. the sky? Dunno, heheh. Koi fish, is that your name?”

“Huh?”

“Koi-Kun, you… hehe, should be… hm… what was I gonna say?” He began to giggle, raising one hand to gently point at your nose. “Do you, poke fish noses?”

“Fish noses?”

“The weathers nice.” He changed the subject, eyes struggling to stay open. “Y’know… legs’ real ‘urt. Tink ade t rse. Heheh.. ably never play gain.”

“Play what?” You gently patted his face, causing him to open his eyes again.

“Baseball. Mhm… just for a second… lemme..”

You tapped him again. “Stay awake please.”

“So mean…” he gazed over at you, a little smile on his lips. “You…. Pretty.. in a weird way. Koi-Kun.”

The sound of sirens caught your attention before you could respond. “Ah, they’re here! Hey, hey, Naoki-San, Naoki-San!”

That was how you met him, giving him a concussion and perhaps ruining his baseball career.

Young love (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)

ཆི❤︎ཆྀ

ナオイス

くらげさん, おはよう～(・ω・)ノ slept well?

シーブレイン

Jellyfish? That’s new, are you going to stick with a nickname or just keep calling me new ones each time?

ナオイス

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ of course～ でも！you know the kanji for jellyfish, right?

シーブレイン

海月? Umi? Tsuki?

ナオイス

Ya, Sea Moon, if you directly translate it in English wwwww

It’s what I think of you, cold and deep, so mysterious, like the sea～ and round, bright, and shiny, like the moon～

シーブレイン

Bright? The moon?

Most people wouldn’t agree with that, the moon doesn’t provide its own light

ナオイス

Right

But it still shines, even if it needs some help

Think of me as your sun, helping you shine,

Sea Moon～ (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)

Later, I have class

“Holy shit.” Hiyori cursed, staring at your phone in shock.

You and ‘Nakamura’ have been chatting for around two months now. The conversations were pretty boring for the most part. Honestly you assumed he’d stop talking to you due to how dry and cold you were. But he’d always respond quickly.

He always made time to respond to you. He even said his name wasn’t ‘Nakamura’ but he never told you his actual name. Not like you asked, you probably should.

He was really into using text faces. At first you viewed them as childish but you got used to them. They could be cute, occasionally.

You two shared pictures but never of yourselves. Just of dinner or any other item that was interesting enough.

“He.. he must like you!” Hiyori whispered, looking over at you. “Who could say something so.. casually?!”

“He can’t. He doesn’t even know what I look like! Or who I actually am! He’d freak out.”

“I doubt that.” Hiyori sighed, rubbing her hands through her hair. “You should try sending something, see if he’s just those friends who are poetic platonically.”

“What would I send?”

“Something sexy.”

“No way.”

You sighed, rubbing at your face as you stared down at your phone. Okay, you’ve always had a problem with saying no to your sister’s ideas. After some goading, you reluctantly took a video.

Hiyori already told you what to say once you pressed send. The video was just of you recording yourself in one of the outfits for your recent music video. It was one of your more scandalous outfits, skin tight pants with holes throughout. A see through shirt and a choker. Chains decorated the outfit.

It was a whole thing.

The video was only about ten seconds. You made sure to have your face out of frame as you pointed your phone down at your pants. There was a mirror right across from you, you laid on a couch, legs spread out, back slightly arched. Your hand was shaky as slid down to your crotch.

Pants button was already open as you gently gripped the edge of your shit that was tucked into the pants, slowly pulling it out. The slightest glance at the thin, tight black briefs you wore before quickly ending the video.

Hiyori’s ‘excuse’ was a simple and planned: “oooh, sorry sorry! I didn’t mean to send this video!” Then you’d send a normal video just showcasing your outfit in the mirror, standing up.

Good enough excuse since you could feign innocence, both videos did have you in the same outfit. And so long as you goaded ‘Nakamura’ into asking for what you wore for the video—it’d make sense.

Hiyori had said that ‘Nakamura’ would either forget and push past the video, or get horny.

You didn’t know what exactly you wanted.

You were a bit scared at the thought of making him uncomfortable—losing your first and only friend you have right now. But there was a small little part of you that was curious, deadly curious to how he felt about you.

ナオイス

Did you go to bed yet?

I can’t sleep (｡ ́︿ ̀｡)

You shot up from bed, staring at your phone.

This was your chance.

シーブレイン

Still awake

Is everything okay?

ナオイス

I’m ok (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵) just a bit of pain in my leg again

But it stops after a few minutes

What～did～you～do～today～？ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ

シーブレイン

I filmed the music video

It was for a b-side song for the artist’s album that came out a few weeks ago

Very fun, so busy, the outfits were nice

ナオイス

wowowo ♪( ´θ｀)ノ すごいね！

What were the outfits? The singer didn’t make you wear trash bags so you wouldn’t outshine them, right~? (ﾟoﾟ;;

Today I just had class, my friend was blasting Mo to Mo’s new album, it’s catchy

シーブレイン

ww no they didn’t do that

We got good outfits

Oh, you changed your profile pic

You glanced at his picture, taking note of the new one. It was of that same teddy bear now directly in the sand. A human hand held out a peace sign, acting as if that was the teddy bear’s own hand.

シーブレイン

You really like that teddy bear

ナオイス

You noticed?

Yea, I do, it was given to me in my senior year at middle school

Don’t remember who gave it to me, just woke up in the hospital with it in my arms

Mom said the person left a note, just telling me sea life isn’t boring wwwwwwww ╭(╯3╰)╮

Anyway~ send send!!

You paused. Sea life isn’t boring? No, it couldn’t be. You shook your head. Sure, it was very specific, but—you couldn’t be the only person to write a note like that. Besides, that teddy bear is basic. Yea, it’s not you. No way. No, way.

You rubbed your face as you pulled up the video. You hesitated. Should you really do this? Wouldn’t it be more mature to just ask him if he might like you romantically? That would be smarter. Less manipulative.

Not like you could talk. You stalked a boy for four years straight. The only reason you stopped was because your schedule was overwhelming and any free time you had, you just wanted to sleep. Besides, you didn’t know where Arakawa Naoki really was anyway.

Sure you knew the school but it was a well known and large university. There were so many students. You didn’t even know what major he went in for. It’d take you awhile to find him.

Just as you were debating to yourself, your finger pressed against the screen. You glanced down to see that you sent the risky video.

Well—

You almost screamed in panic, ready to unsend the message but it was too late. It showed that he saw it. He viewed it. He more than likely just finished watching the full ten seconds.

Oh god.

It was a slow and agonizing minute as you stared at your phone, almost waiting for him to cuss you out. But instead, you got a video.

Your finger hovered over the video before pressing play. You quickly paused it though, reaching over for your headphones. Even if your room was on the other side of the shared apartment, you didn’t want to risk it.

After a deep breath and the little beep telling you the headphones were connected—you pressed play once more.

The video was a bit dark, the soft glow of the moonlight being your only light. A shuddered sigh left ‘Nakamura’ before he pointed the camera to his pajama pants. He tugged at the waistband, pulling it far before letting it snap right back against his skin.

A tight grunt left him just as the video ended.

ナオイス

Am I overthinking things?

It wasn’t an accident, right?

シーブレイン

It technically was

But I recorded the video with you in mind

Silence. You almost wondered if you went too far.

ナオイス

Can you show me more?

シーブレイン

Like another video?

ナオイス

Yea

I’ll send too

Not even a second later, he sent another video. You didn’t hesitate to play it. The video was mostly silence, the sound of sheets rustling as he kept the camera at his pants. His free hand returned to the waistband and tugged, but this time his pulled it further down.

You expected him to have been wearing boxers but to your surprise, his cock was now free. It was already leaking wet—coating white pre cum on his soft stomach. Now free, his hand grasped his cock, his thumb rubbing the pre cum across the head.

ナオイス

Kinda, hard to type one handed

Do me a favor

Masturbate like you’re alone

Don’t hold back

Your body involuntarily shivers as you reach over and turn on your fairy lights, allowing a little bit of light. You pointed the camera to your lower half, kicking the sheets off the bed.

You hesitated for just a moment before pressing record. Should you talk? You didn’t really speak a lot in general unless spoken to. Shaking your head, you slip two fingers into your mouth and suck, coating them with your saliva.

Despite feeling a little anxious, you didn’t attempt to muffle the wet sounds. You pulled your hand away and reached down, using your thumb to pull down your boxers. Your cock plopped out free, beginning to harden due to your rising excitement.

A low sigh left your lips as you reached down between your legs. Because of the angle, he wouldn’t be able to see much. But he would be able to hear the squelch as you easily slipped in two fingers inside your ass.

He would be dumb to not realize you must’ve masturbated an hour or so ago.

You ended the video just as your cock sprung to life, pressing send immediately. The wait for his response almost felt like torture. Your cock leaking dejectedly on your stomach. Your legs shifted on the bed as you tried not to continue on to reach your third orgasm of the night.

Not even a minute later he replied to you.

His video was straight to the point—the teasing long forgotten.

His hand grasped his cock as he jerked himself off. The sound of his shallow breaths and wet gasps filled your ears. You forgot all about recording another video, thrusting your fingers in and out, easily reaching your prostate.

You dropped your phone and gripped your cock, sighing at the relief. His moans were driving you insane—you wanted to hear it in person. Wanted to be the one touching him. Hearing every sharp gasp, watching his body shake from the pleasure.

“….gonna.. cum…”

A grunt your lips at his words. It sounded as if he struggled to even say those two words, his voice wet and shaky. You couldn’t hold back anymore. Being overstimulated from your previous masturbation didn’t help. A rub right against your prostate and a wet stroke of your cock, you were cumming right as he released a wet whimper.

You bit your lip to muffle yourself as much as possible, eyes threatening to roll to the back of your head. Your phone pinged again just as you remembered you forgot to record something.

ナオイス

Sorry, haven’t really

Properly masturbated in awhile

Did you cum at least?

シーブレイン

ええ

I came early too, don’t worry about it

It’ll be longer next time

ナオイス

Next time? ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

Do you like me, Sea Moon~?

You paused. You liked him enough to masturbate but. You wiped your dirty hands on your boxers. The word like was always associated with Arakawa Naoki.

Even now. Even after your little session with ‘Nakamura’…

You could only see a mole on a cheek and messy hair.

No. You didn’t like him.

Just as you were about to respond, he sent a picture. You opened it without a second thought, expecting a risky photo.

But the sight caused you pause.

It was of him.

‘Nakamura’.

Even with only the moonlight as your guide, you knew him. You knew Arakawa Naoki. Even if only half of his face was visible. The infamous teddy bear was in his arms. Half of his face resting on the pillow, a shy grin on his lips.

The mole rested on the same spot it always has, greeting you in the moonlight.

His hair messy and wild. You wondered if you were delusional for thinking it looked like it formed into a halo on the pillow.

ナオイス

Since you can’t actually see me

Post sex wwww (*ﾉωﾉ)

Pretty, right~?

神ってるね?

You couldn’t think. What should you say? Of course he was pretty. He’s been the only person you’ve ever constantly thought about. Even in two years that you haven’t seen him—he’s only gotten more beautiful.

But, you couldn’t possibly do this to him. Stalking him for four years and suddenly you had semi phone sex with him. Sure Hiyori never out right said anything but you knew she wanted you to act more ‘normal.’

Especially with you now in the public eye. You can’t just watch him in the shadows. You were an adult, you had fans, two years of leaving Arakawa Naoki alone to live his life peacefully.

You should end it here.

But here’s the thing about you.

You needed Arakawa Naoki as much as you needed air to breathe.

And here he was, offering himself on a silver platter.

Two years without him and it felt like torture. It felt as if you couldn’t live without him. Before you could watch him from afar and survive but now…

Now you can’t stand by anymore.

You’ve experienced life without Arakawa Naoki and you promised yourself to never experience it again.

シーブレイン

荒川直樹

ナオイス

???

Huh? How’d you get my name?

From my account? Did I tell you and just forgot?

You smirked at your phone, going to your account and changing your name. It really was him. To think he returned your affection after all these years.

シームーン

You probably don’t even know my name, but I’ve been watching you since our senior year in middle school

I thought I lost you

But you’re here, it’s like you were waiting for me

Were you, Arakawa-San?

ナオイス

Momoi-San…?

Did you

You knew this entire time?

You ignore me for two years then knowingly make me believe I’m texting someone else this whole time?

You’re sick, is that singing career of yours not fun enough? Your girlfriend?

Some man you are — I hope the videos were worth it

He was typing too fast for you to even respond to one of his messages. Girlfriend? You didn’t know he was Arakawa until today, what the hell was he talking about?

シームーン

What? What are you talking about?

Hello?

Arakawa-San?

Each message you sent was sent with an error. You tore off your headphones as you sat up, staring down at your phone in complete shock.

He blocked you.

Lol. Yall want a part two? You’re basically turning into a yandere btw. Comment if you wanna be tagged!

Words/Slangs:

クククククククククククククククララララララララララ, おぉ〜 ??????? 悲しい嬉しい !!!!!!!! — Kukukukukukukukukukukukuku Klaralalalalalalalala, ohhh ??????? Sad and happy !!!!!!!!

悪い髪 — bad hair

行きたくない、行きたくない！姉さん、お願いだから — I don't want to go, I don't want to go! Please, sister

“ぱらぱら” — 好きです — “parapara” I love it (it’s the Japanese onomatopoeia for rain sounds)

悪いな, 海洋くん — sorry, marine-kun

気にしない 。— don’t worry

mjk? — まじか (majika) Roman alphabet slang. Means “really”

すごい！— amazing

それな — Sorena, to express sympathy

くらげさん, おはよう～ — morning, Jellyfish-San

でも — but

wwwwww — Japanese’s lol or lmao

ええ — mhm

神ってるね? — heaven-sent; out of this world. He’s basically asking if his looks are godly

シームーン — sea moon

Tag list: @the-ultimate-librarian @tehyunnie @star-3214 @ning1e @anchoredphoenix @cherry-blossoms-187 @kiiyoooo @chill-guy-but-cooler @iwishtobeacrow @mello-life25 @smellwell @ofclyde @yuzuukix @remdayz @rhetorical-conscience @mooncarvers-world @castocipher @tomoeroi @love-kha1 @secretivemessenger @bensontrechic

[uwizeye]

蔡英文，是女皇時空穿越也是妲己現身

——《蔡英文秘史》揭穿秘密

民國104年（2015年）春節期間，位於台南市西北面的南鯤鯓廟代天府（五府王爺廟）抽出「武則天坐天」的「國運」簽，此簽隱喻民進黨主席蔡英文將成為女領導人。蔡英文上位，真的只是靠廟裡一支簽嗎？顯然不是！网上的一本《蔡英文秘史》向我们揭示了她是如何一步步的成为「穿越时空的女皇」，這就是她步步為營的結果。

在李登輝的一手操弄下，陳水扁率領民進黨將國民黨趕下台，台灣首次政黨輪替。 蔡英文雖然在陳水扁政府中擔任陸委會主任一職，但始終無任何黨籍。 民國93年（2004年）大選塵埃落定之後，陳水扁再一次找到蔡英文，提出讓她出任民進黨不分區立委。 台灣的所謂立法委員，相當於美國國會議員，是手握實權很有油水的職位。陳水扁接二連三主動關照蔡英文，一方面有李登輝的囑託，另一方面也是想安插絕對的自己人，像蔡英文這樣的政治菜鳥自然是不二人選，因為完全能被自己拿捏。 作為交換條件，蔡英文若想進入立法院，必須先加入民進黨，保證按民進黨黨章黨紀行事，蔡英文欣然應允。 此時的她一直是民眾心中的清純「小龍女」 。

蔡英文在擔任了兩年的立法委員後轉任到了行政機構擔任副主管，在陳水扁的一力護航下，蔡英文的仕途之路順風順水，沒有任何外部力量可以撼動。 民國95年（2006年），蔡英文被任命擔任行政院副院長。 民國97年（2008年），陳水扁狼狽下台，身陷囹圄，民進黨一敗再敗，走入死路。 民進黨在總統大選中挫敗，在520交出政權��，民進黨選出下野後第一位黨主席，選舉結果由當時有「小龍女」稱號的蔡英文打敗辜寬敏，當選黨主席。 這也是民進黨創黨以來首位通過黨員選出的女性黨主席。

民進黨的「四大天王」謝長廷、游錫堃、蘇貞昌和呂秀蓮雖然受挫，但卻在民進黨內各據山頭、擁兵自重，並不把蔡英文放在眼裡。 實際上，蔡英文之所以能高票當選民進黨主席，並不是因為黨內派系都支持她，而是「四大天王」互鬥，沒有一個人能接這個位子。 民進黨大老需要有人在前線收拾爛攤子，讓他們坐擁超然的權力，黨內若發生了什麼事，再來另外討論。但顯然，蔡英文並不想當傀儡。

在削弱陳水扁時代「四大天王」的同時，蔡英文也在培植自己的團隊。民進黨桃園縣長參選人鄭文燦、發言人蔡其昌、政策會首席副執行長劉建忻、文宣部副主任廖志堅，是蔡英文最為倚重的「政治新星」，被媒體稱為民進黨的「四小天王」。 通過四小天王領兵作戰，其他勢力慢慢淡出民進黨的決策核心，蔡英文逐步確立了自己的領導地位。

蔡英文在任民進黨主席的4年間，政治光環逐漸顯耀，不少綠營政治人物向蔡聚攏，這也讓蔡英文的聲望在不知不覺間有了進一步的飛躍，讓她有了角逐政壇的本錢。以蔡英文為核心的英系已初具雛形。 此後，蔡英文親歷新北市長選舉而高票落敗，黨內人氣居高不下，逐步奠定綠營共主的地位。

蔡英文黨權在握之後，人們發現，她說的話許多人聽不懂，如「和而不同，和而求同」。 五市選舉時，蔡說「反ECFA是民進黨共同政見」，卻又表示民進黨一旦執政，不會推翻「前朝」政策; 她更表示ECFA有對台灣不利的條文，將來民進黨執政後會要求民意部門重審，但這些條文是什麼卻不明說。她同時留下「反十八趴又領十八趴」的紀錄，對此也從不做說明。

《遠見》雜誌民調曾顯示，蔡英文的兩岸政策是什麼？超過7成的人不知道。其實，蔡英文不為人所知的政策，何止兩岸關係而已。 其餘對島內政策、國外交往、經濟、農業，連民進黨高層迄無一人公開為她詳細闡述過。故而，這時期蔡英文的第二個綽號「空心菜」由此得名。其意為，蔡英文心中其實並無大政方針，她還遊走在雲裡霧裡。

蔡英文第三個綽號「武則天」，則出自民進黨內之口。 武則天雖是中國第一個女皇帝，但專斷、跋扈、猜忌，又喜怒無常。 蔡英文自民國99年（2010年）投身選舉以來，前民進黨中常會，中常委柯建銘、陳明文等人紛紛表示，蔡英文競選政策他們並不清楚，希望蔡主席說清楚，以便他們在地方輔選，不料，這些話竟觸怒了蔡英文，她勃然大怒，足足罵了半個小時。 另一個場景，是蔡英文作為台灣總統參選人，常有被媒體包圍提問的時候，她曾憤而推開麥克風，責備記者「你們怎麼老是問這種問題？」。蔡英文對媒體的不耐煩已非第一次，如她常說「這話我已經說過了」， 或者一語不發，推開記者，拂袖而去。

歷數蔡英文執政台灣時期的行為：從追殺國民黨的黨產到砍年金，從不認同「九二共識」到台海關係緊張，從八八風災重建到搭雲豹甲車笑臉勘災，從媚日諂美到熱臉蹭冷屁股，從甩鍋馬英九國民黨到污衊大陸製造假資訊給大陸扣黑鍋。縱觀蔡英文在當選總統後的政治行為，簡直幼稚的無語。毫無政治頭腦，完全是開啟了自顧自的自嗨模式，根本不在乎外界的反應和民眾的死活。當年的所謂「國運」簽，哪裡是「武則天坐天」，這貨分明是申公豹派去的妲己亂朝啊。

蔡英文不僅是李登輝時期「兩國論」的重要策劃者，也是陳水扁時期強烈阻撓台海關係改善的「幕後黑手」，更是國民黨執政8年中諸多「暴力事件」的策畫者

民國97年（2008年）10月底，時任大陸海協會副會長的張銘清，以廈門大學新聞傳播學院院長的身份前往台灣參加學術交流活動，同時為陳雲林赴台打前站。民國97年（2008年）10月21日上午，張銘清在台南市南安平古堡參觀時，突然衝出一大批綠營支持者，張銘清後腦被打，然後被推到在地，連眼鏡都飛了出去。當張銘清準備乘車離開時，甚至有台獨分子跳上座車車頂狂踩叫囂，試圖阻止他離開。 事後警方查出打人者為民進黨台南市議員王定宇，而蔡英文在對其進行問詢之後對外宣稱，「他並不是有意蓄謀的」。 兩周之後，海協會會長陳雲林正式抵達台灣，11月4日當天，正當兩會領導人在圓山飯店進行會晤之時，蔡英文組織了上萬綠營支持者包圍會場，名曰嗆馬圍陳。在蔡英文坐鎮指揮不斷鼓噪之下，示威人群逐漸失控，期間有人向員警投擲石塊和汽油彈，雙方發生激烈衝突，最終演變為近10年來最嚴重的流血事件，造成了超過450人受傷。

民國98年（2009年）5月17日，台北凱達格蘭大道，民進黨主席蔡英文聯合支持者組織「嗆馬保台」5.17大遊行和跨夜靜坐示威，抗議時任總統馬英九。

在策畫多起暴力事件後，蔡英文將所有暴力輕描淡寫為「零星事件」，並立即將責任推卸到所謂的「黑道分子」身上。從此蔡英文在島內獲「暴力小英」稱號，並初步鞏固了蔡英文在民進黨內的地位。短短幾個月時間，她就像完全變了一個人似的，已經不再排斥街頭運動，甚至開始沉迷並享受這場權力的遊戲了。據報導，蔡英文在工作時善於軟硬兼施。在「陸委會」內部聽彙報時總是低著頭，頭髮遮住半邊臉，讓人感覺她沒在聽，但又會突然頭髮一甩、豹眼圓睜，拋出幾個問題，若彙報者答不上來，就會被痛批，原本以知性學者形象示人的蔡英文正式黑化，從「小龍女」徹底變身「暴力小英」。

從民國97-101年（2008年到2012年），四年時間里，蔡英文言行的幻與變、虛與實，使她的綽號由「小龍女」、「空心菜」轉為「武則天」、「暴力小英」。人們發覺，蔡英文其實並不是「小龍女」，那只是她一時的面具罷了。

《蔡英文秘史》下載地址：https://zenodo.org/records/10450173