#And I've been planning on getting diagnosed for a while now but genuinely keep forgetting or procrastinating

[themintman]

ok so I am debating bringing up ADHD with my therapist next time I see her so I'm like looking at the symptoms and I go to this website and it's long and there's text between each symptoms and their organized by age gener etc and im like "ew no wtf i cant read that thats so boring" and i go to pictures and see a pretty purple infograohic thats colour coded and am like yes thats bettee and the first thing i see on it is "gets bored easily" "struggles to stay on task" "short attention span" so like.. mega oops there

[quirkypossum]

personal life shit ahead btw

gonna talk about some personal life bullshit under the cut so if you're not interested in my life drama or potentially triggering shit then I'd scroll past. Content warning for talking about disturbing/self-destructive thoughts, chronic pain and illness, and trans stuff..

well, I'm at the point where I am second-guessing myself again. my mom and her husband actually think I'm a hypochondriac and I didn't help my own thought spiral by watching a bunch of videos on people who supposedly made up their own chronic illnesses for crime or other reasons...

like i genuinely think there has been stuff going on with me for years now, but because i never brought some of it up to doctors at the time they tend to not believe its that serious.. Half the time they blame my symptoms on my weight (something that has changed very little over the last five years not including getting the tits chopped earlier this year) or they will blame it on my diet (another thing that has if anything gotten healthier over the last five years as I've explored more veggies and fruits).

Most recently, I went in after doing a bunch of research on POTS and hypermobility without really saying anything specific, keeping the most specific description at general hypermobility while describing my joints and pain and other problems. Well, the outcome I thought was going to be better because normally they dismiss it and don't do anything but this time it seemed different because my doctor actually ordered new blood tests that I haven't had before to rule out things like arthritis and lupus and stuff. The problem was that she said she would follow up and never did and its been like a month now since then and still nothing. Based on the ranges they show with the tests I'm within range for everything pretty much so part of me wonders if that's why she never reached out to confirm the results or what, but I am planning on sending her a message to ask what the next step is.

I know it's not smart to self-diagnose and do a ton of research into symptoms because you could be wildly off but given the fact that the doctors I keep getting just dismiss everything as normal without really doing anything to check most of the time I just can't forget about it and move on. I shouldn't be dealing with all the health problems that I am at the age that I am. Older adults always say stuff like "wait til you're older, then you'll really know pain" and it makes me so disheartened for my future if I'm already overwhelmed by it all rn. Like I really am at a "whats the fucking point?" type of mental state because of all this.

I feel like no one in my life really believes that the issues I have a real and everyone just thinks i make it all up because I complain a lot. Part of me wonders if I am faking it all and I'm just so delusional that i don't know I'm faking it. It's the same kinds of thoughts I have about being trans sometimes or about money. I've been really trying to avoid self harming lately because of all this shit.... Its so weird cause I'll have a great awesome day where I got all the shit done I needed to do, did something fun, socialized, showered, ate, all of it and at the end of it all I feel like the biggest piece of shit on the planet... Like everything I said and did was wrong and of course my doctors don't believe me Im just making it up, of course my brother said no to sitting outside with me, I'm being annoying as usual. idk....

I have so many wishes for my life and my loved ones' lives and my mom always says that obnoxious response of "you wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which fills up faster" to try and bring me back to reality and make me feel better I guess but obviously it never works. it just makes me feel worse about it like I shouldn't even complain in the first place. I really do wish things were different.

I wish I wasn't in pain every day, I wish I didn't have stomach problems every day, I wish I didn't feel like I might pass out every day, I wish my anxiety was the normal amount and not the terrifying heart palpitations I get every day, I wish I had enough money that these health problems wouldn't worry me so much, I wish my mom didn't have to work her soul-crushing job just to keep a roof over our family's heads, I wish that things were different....

If you read through all of this I applaud you and hope you can't relate to any of it.

[pancakeke]

Did you get diagnosed with adhd as an adult? I ask because I'm an adult woman of color that can get up and go to work and can kind of interact with people around me, so I feel like I'll never get it

I got diagnosed when I was 29 but looking back I should have been diagnosed when I was in middle school lol. When I sought out a doctor I was technically functioning at my job and home but I was doing piss poor work and was stressed out beyond my limit 100% of the time.

I have a really hard time talking to doctors because I get anxious and forget what I want to highlight a lot so it may be helpful for you as well to list out your struggles and how they are negatively impacting your life. then you have a point by point list your doctor can use to help with diagnosis

for examples, a bunch of stuff I listed:

Work:

I forget to follow up on problem orders constantly, creating larger problems for myself later

I have to keep ridiculous amounts of notes to keep myself on track, but then the amount of notes becomes overwhelming and they become impossible to use

I question my memory at all times which keeps me in a high level of stress and anxiety

After dealing with some extra temporary responsibilities I hit a wall and have not been able to bounce back and do my normal duties very well anymore. Even my boss has noticed that I have had a hard time keeping up and talked to me about it. Nothing has permanently changed with my work, the problem is something with me.

home/personal life

I volunteer to help people with plans often but very quickly forget my responsibilities and only remember when reminded at the the last minute, putting myself in the position where I have to work until 2 or 3am to prepare for what we're doing

often I feel very creative and have the intention to work on home improvement or personal projects but either cant force myself to initiate a plan or after starting a plan I can't focus enough to get remotely close to completing it

along with the above, when actually starting a project it's generally on impulse and as soon as the impulse dies down I cant force myself to continue no matter how hard I try

I create constant messes and always feel disorganized no matter how hard I try to maintain an acceptable living space

I buy things on impulse for personal projects but then can't bring myself to work on the projects, meaning I often waste money on impulse buys that never go anywhere

I have a difficult time remembering to pay bills

General

forgetfulness causes me to accidentally procrastinate almost constantly, always putting me in a position where I have to rush while fueled by anxiety to get anything accomplished.

I basically rely on anxiety to push me to complete anything. if I'm not afraid of failure or causing problems it's almost like tasks don't exist

there isn't a day where one or more of the above things causes me problems.

kind of overboard but you get the idea. take some time over a week or two and note every time your ADHD symptoms affect your quality of life, and also add to your notes that all these things are negatively impacting you on a daily basis (if its true, which I don't doubt it is). If you share any of these problems with me feel free to tell your doctor you know someone diagnosed with ADHD who had the same problems to emphasize that you don't just have generalized anxiety.

My doctor made a copy of my notes to keep on file which I greatly appreciated. I've had a LOT of problems with doctors in the past not taking me seriously for physical problems I had so I'm like extra aware and suspicious of how doctors behave now.

I was genuinely surprised at how serious my doctor took all my issues. She didn't dismiss anything and agreed this sounded like ADHD. I'm white and can't talk to the issue of being POC and trying to get taken seriously by medical professionals but my generic advice is: don't be afraid to fire a doctor who doesn't seem to listen to you or is dismissive of your struggles. You don't even need to tell them they're fired, you can just cancel your next appt right after you make it and then ghost them. I went through 5 doctors (and hundreds of dollars....) getting a physical problem diagnosed once. I seriously wish I'd jumped ship on two of these guys sooner and stopped wasting my time and money on morons who had no investment in my health.

Also if possible, talk to local people you know or check out support groups (there are a lot of various ones on FB. also there may be forums out there for this kind of thing) for POC who struggle with finding doctors who actually listen to them. There may be recs you can use.

One more little bit of advice, if you're more comfortable with video chat than going to see a doctor in person you can do telehealth visits to speak with psychs about mental health issues and even get a diagnosis. It's what I did at first because it was easier to fit into my schedule. The only caveat is they can't prescribe you any medications for controlled substances (like adderall) without seeing you in person at least once. So if they do diagnose you with ADHD you'll have to go see them in person one time to get a prescription.

I always rant when I get asks for advice aaaa but I hope this helps at least somewhat!! If you have any other questions or want to talk feel free to send another ask or DM me!!

[ae-diaries]

My Life Testimony

Warning: Long post ahead

The content of this blog has me holding a secret I've kept hidden for a long time. I'm a bit hesitant to share my personal story because others (who knew me already) may be shocked or turned off 😅, but hopefully, the thoughts would bless someone and help you face your weaknesses and rise above them. This is a celebration of the greatest miracle I received from God. I never thought that miracle was real, until circumstances proved that it is possible. 

Foremost in my mind is when I was a high school kid. My life was symbolized by the microphone; I’d been exposed to sing in front of a crowd, be it in school or amateur singing contests. It's not to boast but it felt like I was a singing sensation back then, others dubbed me as 'songbird', 'sweet nightingale' to name a few 🤣. But when no one's looking, I felt, for lack of a better description, just off. This was caused by a certain physical condition that tear down my self-image. 

It all began when my mother noticed that I had an uneven shoulders when I was 13 years old. Later on, I was diagnosed with scoliosis measuring a 20-degree curve, and so my doctor from PGH gave me various stretching exercises and required me to wear a brace to prevent the curve from worsening or else surgery awaits me.

I freaked out inside. At the back of my mind, I wondered, “Why me?”. From then on, a hidden scar symbolizes my 'private' life. People might not notice it, but really I was riddled with inferiority complex and lack of self-worth. Nakakaiyak isipin, imagine ako lang bukod tanging estudyante sa private skul na may ganitong klaseng kundisyon. How I pitied myself. Parang ayoko nang lumabas. Hiyang hiya ako. 

I usually cried and pahirapan pa every time my mother would be putting the brace into my body, kabilinbilinan niya wag ko daw aalisin para daw mapabilis paggaling ko, but there was this one time, while I was on my way to school, naisipan kong dumaan muna sa haus ng classmate ko para lang ipatago yung brace ko. And it happened many times. Ang bigat nyang dalhin, di lang sa katawan kundi pati narin sa kalooban. Later on, they found out what I was doing, until wala na silang nagawa sa tigas ng ulo ko. Fortunately, my classmates did not bully me in school; however, I was still very conscious and afraid that my crush would see me like a bionic kid. To this day, I have never told my parents about this reason. You know as a teenager, I was overly sensitive by the opinion of others. And that's all that matters to me. I didn't think of the consequences of this action. 

Fast forward to 2012, sabi nila end of the world na this year (according to Mayan calendar), feeling ko katapusan ko nadin when I went back to the doctor and learned that the deformity progressed to over 50 degrees. Reality finally hit me! A major surgery was needed to correct my S-curved spine. Why I didn't just wear that darn thing? I must admit nagpabaya ako as I was trying to live like a normal kid. At that time, I was already employed in my first job so I filed for a two-month leave. Luckily, my very understanding boss approved it. I also had an amazing orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Teodoro Castro, who explained to me the procedure (though it was as clear as mud to me). He was very reassuring, so I didn't get scared. 

And when he asked, "Kelan mo gusto magpa-opera?," Without a second thought, I replied, "Kahit po bukas na doc!". My thoughts were, "If not now, when pa?"( I felt like I was running out of time.) His eyes bulged upon hearing my immediate response! And so he set the schedule to May 16, 1 p.m (which I spent at Sta. Teresita General Hospital in Quezon City). 

It was exciting, really, though it had 'Final Destination' feels. Andaming 'what ifs', what if di ako maka-survive? Bigla kong naisip talagang 'life is short' at ang dami ko pa palang di nagagawa sa mundong ibabaw such as makapag-serve kay God through joining a spiritual ministry, to travel for a cause, makapag-abroad, makakanta sa tv, makita si Regine & Sarah, magamit license ko to teach students, maigala ang magulang ko, and to have my own family. Sana magawa ko pa ang mga ito after post-op. 

More so, I felt my family's collective fear; I could actually hear the loud beating of my parents' chest when they signed the waiver 🤣. My father had worries that my voice might deteriorate after the operation. Laying in my bed and knowing that I may be that close to dying, I delivered my prayer of surrender to God and remained fearless. The comforting lyrics of 'You made me Stronger' by Kelly Clarkson became my fight song while in the hospital.

Waking up after the operation was the highlight. Being groggy from the anesthesia, I opened my eyes, feeling like it's just a continuation of my short sleep. I saw the nurses and my family - patiently waiting for me to wake up for almost 6 hours na daw. The first thing I asked was, "Tapos na?" (many times). I felt a huge sigh of relief when they uttered the words that struck me to the core, "Oo, tapos na." S*** I couldn't believe my ears; I was flying with joy! For years I have prayed for this miracle. I wanted to shout and do any dance challenge, 🤣 but how could I do that? They were preventing me from talking yet or make any movements because a mask was surrounding my nose and a lot of apparatuses were attached to my body. Later on, I learned that my younger brother cried after seeing me survived the operation. May kadramahan din pala si brother na lagi kong kabangayan 😂. While the success of my operation wouldn't be possible if it weren't for the assistance provided by my father's company, DMCI Corp. That's why I'll always be indebted to their big boss, VAC (May his soul rest in peace).

My healing lasted for almost nine months. I never suffered from complications, just pure torture and regrets na sana di nalang ako nagpa-opera (huhu). This is no exaggeration but dinaig ko pa talaga ang na-cesarean. On the first month after my operation, I became disabled and reached levels of pain I thought never existed in human experience: It was difficult to breath; I could not stand and walk on my own; I became excessively skinny because of drug intake - this was a legal drug prescribed by my doctor which can remove the pain only for 4-6 hrs. It felt so pathetic and frustrating to see myself in front of the mirror. No matter how much I tried to be positive, my insecurities gripped me down again and again to the point of questioning God: "Is there a hope for me?", 

"How come others could breathe and walk so well? During these times, inggit na inggit ako sa mga taong nakakalakad at nakakahinga ng maluwag. Feeling ko life is so unfair. Somewhere deep inside, I believed I was ugly, that He really didn't like me and it was His punishment for all the sins I did in the past. As I poured out my grief before God, a question popped in my head: “Mira, give me reasons why you should remain grateful?.”

“Seriously, how can I be grateful in times like this?.”

But in those agonizing moments, a light of hope from my parents’ eyes illuminates my darkness. 

In all the times that I cried and complained, I never saw them get too tired to feed me or serve me even if it would make them uncomfortable to make me comfortable. I couldn't imagine how they felt when I looked down on myself. Aside from my parents, my siblings, concerned relatives and genuine friends also never left my side. It's as if they became my extra pair of legs when mine refuse to walk. And my heart is full of gratitude today because they have loved me during the times that I didn't love myself. 

I'm living a normal life now as if nothing happened but others observed that except for my angelic voice 🤣, I tend to become forgetful and a little bit of deaf (Yes to this level) - this was probably caused by my extra dose of antibiotics intake 🤣. They noticed that I walk with lightning speed, as if may hinahabol daw ako lagi - maybe subconsciously, this has something to do with my life goals. Yes, I do get tired easier that's why there are some things that I must not do such as lifting heavy objects, sport activities (except for swimming), washing a mountain of clothes 🤣, bawal ma-stress and ma-exposed sa extreme cold places 😅.

As they say, true wisdom is learning from your shortcomings. For everything that I'd been through, I realized that there's a lesson hidden underneath the pain and it was God's way for me to:

(1) strengthen my faith - It was through this difficult times that I also underwent a 'spiritual surgery/enlightenment'. It has helped me find my stride in God and pray like I have never prayed before (for I know nakalimot ako). I didn't know all His plans but surely He was turning my brokenness into greatness. 

(2) love myself, invest in my relationships and create good memories - The whole discernment gave me the courage to keep progressing. I began to accept my imperfections, pick up my self-esteem, and do the things I haven't done before: Much is to be done but so far, I already saw Miss Regine and Sarah in person, traveled to different places, got to teach students in schools, treat my parents - brought  them to concerts and resto; spent midnight snacks and watched movies with my siblings; hang-out with friends; reunited with a long lost friend; restored a broken relationship, and tried to forgive someone;

(3) appreciate the fine details of life - More and more, my wishes become simpler. I realized there is more to life than any material thing could give, and that is getting enough oxygen and optimal healing to every organ in my body. Sobra kong na-appreciate ang buhay ko, especially the air I breathe, and the legs that carry me everywhere.

Eto lang sapat na 'to be happy'. Why did I fail to notice this before? And that's also what I want to ask you, when was the last time you were thankful for the air around you? True to what they say, the best things in life are free, but the problem is we're not contented with what we have and complicate rules to experiencing happiness: “I will be happy only if I’ll be able to upgrade my phone, buy a latest collection of chanel bag, wear a new pair of sketchers shoes..” And I'm so guilty of it because I once was a shoppaholic before that I forgot to remember how 'enough' I truly have.   

As I look back, hagulhol nako sa iyak - there were tears in my eyes, but they were no longer tears of pain but tears of gratitude - thinking how would I survive without the amazing people in my life.

I believe that God wants me to write this article so that I could speak for Him and claim that today, I can go out without any worries because I'm no longer ashamed of the scar life has left me with. It's a blessing in disguise; a sign that I conquered pain and fear. Wala na sigurong pagsubok na di ko kakayanin dahil kinaya ko na yung 'pinakamahirap' because truly, life is about not giving up and trying to fix yourself up after every fall. 

I cannot make the scar disappear but by looking at it, I see a testimony of survival, inner strength and God's miracles. Jesus never said it wouldn't be easy, but He said it would be worth it!  - Matt. 7:13

#secondlife #lifetestimony #embracingmyscar

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #162

What’s the last app you downloaded? That woulda been the Eve period tracker, I had a crappy one for a long time and just wanted a new one. This one is a bit TOO big for me, like you can track an insane amount of stuff and I often forget how the hell just to log that my period's started or ended lol.

What’s the last outdoors concert you went to? Alice Cooper, the only concert I've ever been to.

Are you allergic to any plants? I'm allergic to pollen.

What’s the last fast food place you went to? Uhhh pretty sure McDonald's, we haven't really eaten out much, less than usual even.

Which of your friends do your parents get along best with? I mean the only real "friend" I have in my face-to-face world is my boyfriend, and both my parents love him very much.

Is there anyone in your friendship group that your parents don't like? Read above.

You see someone you dislike crying. Do you still feel bad/sorry for them? Yes, I just really hate to see people hurting, never mind to the point they're crying about it.

Any ways in which you're very different from the person you love/like? Yes, I'm very anxious and emotional, meanwhile he's great at remaining calm and is very logical.

Who was the last person to un-friend you on Facebook? I dunno, nobody important enough for me to realize they're no longer on my feed, so.

Do you know why he/she decided to unfriend you? Obviously no, but odds are it would've been sharing something anti-religious.

Do you like to have Facebook clear-ups every now and then? I'll browse through my friends rarely to remove people I no longer really desire to keep up with, but that's done rarely, I keep a small friend's list in comparison to most others I know.

Can you write in cursive? I write primarily in cursive, so yes.

Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope? No, but that'd be super cool!

Do you normally finish one book before starting another? Yes, always.

Do you prefer reading books, comic books, manga/graphic novels, magazines, or the newspaper? Normal books.

Book series you enjoyed reading recently? I've been reading the Wings of Fire series by Tui T. Sutherland for the past couple years. Slowly, though; I still have a book and a half until I'm done with the second plot arc.

Is your sibling missing someone right now? I don't have the slightest clue.

When was the last time you saw your ex? The beginning of February 2017.

Whose birthday did you last celebrate? My dad's.

Do you think anyone likes you? Other than my boyfriend, no, no one else romantically.

Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)? Because he never, ever gives up on me, clearly genuinely likes me the way I am, is very supportive, funny as hell, has a heart bigger than he realizes, and is just an all-around damn good person that just cares.

Do you plan on taking your husband’s last name if you ever marry? Yes, even though I hate Girt's last name more than I do mine, lol. I just want to anyway.

What did you last dream about? I can't really remember, but I know it was something really weird.

Have you ever been in the “friend zone”? No. I guess you could argue that was the case for a while with Jason after we split, but I can tell you with great confidence that that man wanted nothing to do with me, even as friends.

Have you ever had an STD? No.

What do you think it feels like to die? This isn't something I like thinking about, but I'd say it definitely depends on what you're dying from, but I would definitely assume confusion would be happening across the board as you realize your body is giving out.

Is the area you live in more liberal or conservative? Conservative as all get-out and I fucking hate it.

Do you know anyone who’s bipolar? Yes, I've been diagnosed and so has my mom's oldest daughter Katie. I'm sure I know more, too.

Do you have a lot of emotional baggage? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL OH BROTHER

Do you like apple soda? ... holy shit, have I ever HAD an apple soda??? I do know I've tried apple carbonated water, but I did hate that, which is odd because I generally love apple-flavored anything.

Are there any writing utensils close to you? Yes, a pencil with my drawing stuff as well as a pen I keep attached to my little monthly planner.

Do you watch football regularly? No, I watch no sports ever.

Do you have a bigger upper or lower lip? Lower, but the difference isn't major.

Are you currently doing any big projects? No, not really. I need to do something creative on a large scale again...

Do you have any screen names with spelling errors? Oh no, I'd never be able to keep that.

Would you rather be a ninja or a samurai? Samurai, probably. A female samurai would be dope. (I know they historically existed, but nowadays I think we generally associate the term with men, at least here in the USA.)

What’s your first language? American English.

What’s your sexuality? Pansexual I think, but I'm quite sure I sexually prefer traditionally male individuals, but I absolutely know I'm sexually attracted to feminine people too. Maybe I wouldn't have a preference if I actually had truly sexual experiences with non-cis male partners.

What’s your hobby? Art, photography and writing specifically.

What’s something you care desperately about? LGBTQ+ rights, it is SO difficult for me to wrap my head around people having a fucking problem with consensual, age-appropriate love.

If you could spend the rest of your life with only one person, who would it be? Girt.

Does anyone know your bank pin number other than you? Who? I don't even have a bank account because I have no income, so.

Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend who was depressed? Yeah, Sara. I feel like Tyler may have been depressed too, he absolutely had something going on.

Would you be able to climb out your bedroom window to sneak out? Yes.

Are your parents gullible? My dad is, he's pretty clueless lol. Mom is more skeptical.

Do you still own a VCR? Definitely not anymore.

If you were in a car accident would the last person you kissed care? Uh yes, he'd freak the hell out, especially knowing how afraid I am of cars and driving as a whole.

Do you have a second home? Well in all technicality yeah, my dad's place. Girt and his family also put lots of emphasis on making myself at home there, but I'm still getting comfortable at his place because I go there so little.

Would you be surprised if you saw the last person you texted smoking? Yes, very; my mom smoked only very briefly in her youth and has never gone back, and she also does her best to take care of her body that was immensely weakened by cancer and the intense chemotherapy it demanded; she would not be willingly putting smoke into her body.

Does the smell of cigarettes, weed, and beer repulse you? All three of them, yes.

Was the last person you kissed younger or older than you? He's a couple years older.

Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? Yeah, overpriced as shit though.

Do you like sitting on the inside or outside of a restaurant booth? Outside, I like having more space.

Have you ever worn fishnets? Only fishnet gloves. I DESPERATELY want to have fishnet stockings one day though, that shit is hot as FUCK.

Does your bathroom have a window? Neither one does.

Ever dated someone you were best friends with first? Yes.

How did you meet the last male you texted? We were both in band class in high school.

What underwater creature scares you the most? Giant squid.

Was there ever a bomb threat at the school you go/went to? Yes, we had multiple during my entire time in school.

Do you befriend others because of something you might gain from them? No, what the fuck. That's textbook using somebody.

What do you feel is the ugliest part of the human body? Genitals, and I'm talking any, sex does not matter to me when it comes to me just visually being grossed out by genitals.

Do you look like an idiot when you run? I'm still in a place where I'm certain I can't truly "run;" I have more strengthening of my legs to do before I'd feel safe even trying to.

Were you brought up with Nerf toys? I mean not "brought up" with them, but we had some.

Do you daydream? I mean I think everyone does, I do a lot though.

What’s your favorite kind of dog? I love Saint Bernards, akitas and shibas, Mexican hairless, chow chows, beagles, Samoyeds, and German shepherds, among soooo many others, dogs are just stunning with so much variety, it's incredible.

Do you chew gum? Not a lot or even regularly, but yeah, I will sometimes, but generally only if it's offered to me.

Do you like gummy candies? Yes, very much. I especially love sour gummies, and gummies in general are just a texture I really enjoy.

Do you lie? I know literally nobody who doesn't at some point, I'm no exception. I definitely try to avoid it though, and I don't really think I could stomach telling anything that exceeds being a harmless white lie.

Favorite zoo animal? Meerkats, when they're cared for properly and are a sub-species that handles captivity even remotely okay. It seems to be popular to overfeed them in captivity, and having too few individuals is very bad for their health, mental and physical. I'm definitely very critical of meerkat zoo habitats just with them being my favorite animal.

What was the last thing you watched on the TV? Some Naked and Afraid with Mom yesterday; that seems to be becoming our dinner thing, lol. I've been sitting out there with her longer at dinnertime and she seems to really enjoy me sitting out there with her so I wanna do that more, I need to. We live in the same house but I rarely do things with her or even in the same room.

Do you think pets can get annoying easily? Dogs can, at least for me. I very much prefer pets like cats with their heightened independence and stuff, clingy and needy dogs can quickly become overwhelming to me.

Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon? No, but I VERY much want to one day, I was actually talking about this lightly with Mom yesterday.

Have you ever flown somewhere alone? Yes, to Illinois twice. Navigating airports was extremely stressful, but I managed.

Do you know anyone who hates/dislikes chocolate? My maternal grandmother didn't like chocolate unless it was something like a Reese's.

Are there any movies out that you’d like to see? I'd like to see the new Little Mermaid, however not enough to ask Mom or Girt if they want to because I love not being able to pay for myself. I'm waiting for the Barbie movie to come out, THAT looks like so much fun.

Did your parents ever ground you? Yes, Mom did anyway. She seemed to be the one with authority over that.

What is one musical artist you wish wasn’t making music? That's mean, even if I don't enjoy an artist's music, I'm not gonna WISH they weren't, because I assure you there are people who would be really bummed if they stopped. All I have to do is not listen to an artist I don't like, they don't need to stop creating.

Were you/are you popular in high school? I wasn't, popularity was never something I wanted in school.

Anything interesting happen this past week? Exactly a week ago I got my first wisdom tooth extracted, Friday I got my tattoo finished, and Sunday me and Mom spent a great day with Girt's family.

What’s on your mind this very second? I'm hungry, didn't eat breakfast today so I'm probably gonna get something after this.

Do you correct other people’s grammar/spelling when talking to them online? No, that's such an asshole move imo, unless they're literally asking for correction. I'll generally correct grammar I find it surveys, but I'm not pointing it out or bitching about it, I'm JUST fixing it. I think it's also very important to recognize that the person you're talking to may not speak the same first language as you, and it's impressive that they can speak a non-native language AT ALL, so just keep your mouth shut about it, it is not a big deal.

Is bacon one of your favorite foods? I do enjoy bacon a lot, but it's very easy to make it too crispy and burnt-tasting for me.

Do you like things vampire-related? I think vampires are cool, yeah, but I'm not automatically interested in something just because it's vampire content.

When was the last time you saw snow? It's been a few years. :/

Have you ever felt stupid after saying something? Literally fucking always, like I'm not even exaggerating.

Are you more of a mommy’s person or a daddy’s person? I've always been more of a mama's girl.

[fromthedeskofelizabeththird]

Hi!!! I was wondering if you could do RFA + V headcanons on how they would take care of MC if she got really sick? Like horrible flu, sore throat, cough, stuffy nose, stomach flu? I've been really sick for the last 3 weeks and would love some tender lovin from the bois and baehee lol

Oh no, Nonny, I hope you feel better! Hot baths are really good for clearing airways. It’s the steam, I think??

Yoosung

Mother Hen Yoosung is activated!

He makes soup. Lots of soup.

Apparently it’s his grandmother’s great aunt’s recipe from god knows when

All you know is it tastes like gasoline and smells like a pharmacy

He’ll bundle you up in lots of blankets and take your temperature whenever you complain about his fussing.

“Yoosung, you don’t need to do-” “Of COURSE I DO, now let me take your temperature.”

Constantly letting you know that he is, in fact, studying medicine so you are in safe hands.

When you’re REALLY poorly, like groggy or coughing really hard, he’ll sit next to you and stroke your hair and/or back.

He’s completely in control of the situation while you’re awake and always reassuring you that you’re fine

The moment you’re asleep, though, he gets his mom (or Jaehee) on the phone like ‘;n; I’M SCARED WHAT IF SHE’S DYING’

Jumin

HA

The moment you so much as get a fever he’d call his doctor like

Fix her

I low key headcanon that Jumin’s doctor is equal parts done with his shit and terrified of him

So Jumin’s doctor would show up, explain what the problem is, like ‘ah it’s the flu, drink a bunch of fluids and you’ll be fine’

Meanwhile Jumin is hovering. He will not leave MC’s side.

He takes a couple of days off work and tends to MC’s every single whim.

He keeps track of their fluid intake; you know he would.

On Yoosung’s suggestion, he tries making soup and it’s terrible, but it’s such a sweet gesture that MC eats all of it and feels worse.

He insists on reading to you while you’re in bed and pretty much expires when you fall asleep on his shoulder.

Jaehee calls him to remind him that he is not a nursemaid and has other responsibilities at work, so he hires a nursemaid and stays home anyway to make sure they have a gentle bedside manner.

He’d constantly be following the doctor’s orders, but the moment your symptoms get even slightly worse, he’d have you taken to hospital and demand to know why you are still sick.

When the doctor sees him arriving he’s legit like oh fucK not again

Jumin will not sleep from the moment MC gets sick until they get better.

Jaehee

Jaehee would have a face mask and gloves on while in your company and she’d tell you it was nothing personal, but you’d get the feeling it sort of was

Still, she’d explain that she wanted to take care of you, but if Jumin caught your illness somehow...or she did (if you’re on her route)...or both...that would mean even more work for her in the long run, hence face mask!

She would not be home a lot of the time (regardless of her route or any other), but she would leave you plenty of stuff to eat and cute little post it notes around the house like ‘don’t forget to have a glass of water’ and ‘cough syrup x spoonfuls!’.

She’d also call you often, just to see how you were feeling and to check you got her note.

If you neglect her advice at any point, you won’t know how, but she’ll know.

She’ll show up on her lunchbreak with extra oranges for you to eat or a cake or something.

Jaehee is one of those people who measures your temperature by putting the back of one hand against your forehead and the other against her own

While you’re sick, she brings out every DVD she owns, all of which are also labelled with tiny post it reviews and explanations on which ones you HAVE to watch first.

At least one will be labelled ‘if you watch this, call me, I want your thoughts’.

Jaehee gently scolding MC if she catches them on the messenger when they could be sleeping, when really she’s relieved that they’re feeling better.

Zen

Zen has a gr9 immune system and rarely ever gets sick (and when he does, he works right through it).

As a consequence, though, he probably doesn’t know much about how to look after a sick person outside of the stereotypical and largely inaccurate stuff that happens on TV

He’d want to be perfect boyfriend in this situation and consider it a test, so would embrace all of the inaccuracy and tuck MC up in bed

He’d make tea, sing them to sleep and put a damp cloth on their forehead, since he saw it done on TV once.

Zen running MC at hot bath with lots of bubbles and cracking a joke about his inner beast to hide his genuine concern at the fact that they’re sitting there shivering.

Depending on how poorly he thinks they are, he might skip the gym to sit with them and go through his lines.

I feel like Zen would not know how sick most people can actually get, so he’d probably pull a Jumin and freak the fuck out

He has Jaehee on speed dial, you know it and she teaches him how to take MC’s temperature and the kinds of medicine he should get.

Seven

You probably got it off him to begin with.

He’d feel duty bound to look after you, even though he doesn’t have a clue how to do that. He probably falls deep into joker mode as a result.

He has the doctor costume and, if it makes MC feel better, dresses up as God Seven, md.

God Seven md diagnoses everything and everyone with diseases that probably don’t actually exist, much to the chagrin of the RFA.

If MC is into that sort of thing, he’ll put on a nurse’s pinafore instead.

Tucks them into bed and brings them meals on wheels.

Somehow the Honey Buddha Chips make Yoosung’s family soup palatable.

He films some of the dumb shit you say while lucid because of cough syrup.

If your symptoms get really bad and you’re essentially a steaming mess in the covers, he’ll drop joker mode and start acting erratic.

I’m talking end of Jumin’s route erratic.

Saeran

He’d avoid you!

You’d wake up in the middle of the night, convinced you saw someone, but finding the room empty.

You would also, however, find that your covers had been rearranged and your water bottle refilled.

Someone brought you a snack, too.

Gee I wonder who.

He’ll deny it.

V

I headcanon a lot that his mum was ill and that’s a decent percentage of the reason why he became so devoted to caring for Rika, so if MC gets poorly, he’d be very concerned, regardless of if MC is romancing him or not.

V in a sentence = 12/10 Great Dude with some unhealthy coping mechanisms.

He’d end up on the messenger an absurd amount, to the extent that everyone else questions it.

Especially Yoosung

All he’d want to know is how you’re doing. If you reference a symptom at any given point, he’ll ask you again about it an hour later.

He has flowers and soup sent to you, or if this is after his route

Yeah I said it

I went there

The Blue son shows up at your door himself with flowers and soup and tucks you into bed.

If you’re feeling so poorly that you can’t go on the messenger, I’m pretty sure he’ll show up anyway, just to make sure you’re okay because he is that kind of swell dude.

If you’re still planning the party at this point (again, who knows when this is happening???), he’ll finish up loads of work while you’re sleeping.