#And things are okay
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self-destructive urge to make coffee at 5 pm -> hot chocolate. the neural pathways. we're rewiring them
#besides the pain (ofc) one of the worst things about migraines is the cognitive decline in between#tried to embroider today and kept messing up very basic stitches that i've done 1000+ times before#then i tried to journal and my brain couldn't Letter#so now i'm drinking hot chocolate and petting my cat#and things are okay#hope everyone is having a good day/night <3
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the thing is that childhood doesn't just end when you turn 18 or when you turn 21. it's going to end dozens of times over. your childhood pet will die. actors you loved in movies you watched as a kid will die. your grandparents will die, and then your parents will die. it's going to end dozens and dozens of times and all you can do is let it. all you can do is stand in the middle of the grocery store and stare at freezers full of microwave pizza because you've suddenly been seized by the memory of what it felt like to have a pizza party on the last day of school before summer break. which is another ending in and of itself
#lucinda.txt#when i was 20 my theater teacher died and i thought i was also going to die#when i was 23 my childhood cat died and it was awful#all my grandparents are dead. liam payne from one direction has died.#it's like... okay. and you still have to wake up and go to work!#& i guess the idea is one day you'll get better at losing things#one day you just won't CARE that your childhood is over#i guess. but i doubt it.#1k#2k#5k#10k
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I don't know if OP will ever see this reblog, but these words mean more to us than you could ever imagine - Terry
Sans do you ever feel that something might be missing?


Maybe he felt like that at some point, maybe for a long time. In the present, I think he's made some kind of peace with it.
Also, I really like the ask blog format, but I don't really mean this to be an ask blog.
So when writing questions, try to refer them to me instead of the characters. That way, they don't have to break the fourth wall lmao. I really wanted to answer this one tho
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#Sorry to get personal but sometimes the right words at the right moment hit in just the right way#We're a system - we have multiple personalities - and almost all of them have been dormant for decades#They lost the will to live and our brain put them into a sleep so deep they hoped they'd never wake up#We've spent the last few months searching for what wasn't there#Desperately trying to find everyone so we can be whole again#And I worry sometimes that there's still something out there - there's still someone out there who's waiting to be found#But it's been a month since someone new showed up#And maybe it's time we stopped searching for what's not there and focus on what we do have#Because what we have is each other#And things are okay#Shit Terry Says#Adventures in OSDD#Rainy Day Reblog
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!
do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!
#i am so sick of writers having to anticipate the most boring#bad-faith readings of their work. i am like - if you use cheese as a currency#okay! as long as the world makes sense to me: cool. cheese tax. moving on.#my job as the reader is to suspend my disbelief and say okay! i am so sick of like#fanfiction authors having to write dissertations#because they had an interesting idea they'd like to try out!!!#just write it! if it doesn't make sense that's someone else's problem!!!#PS OP is autistic. yes sometimes i take things literally at first glance. then i think about it lol#this is so clearly not about accessibility etc. it's about like. girl even i an autistic person#am able to understand ''they probably didn't mean his eyes darkened LITERALLY''
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and obviously you find yourself thinking oh i do wish i could get severed to do this one thing. would you actually maybe not. but you do wish you didn't have to undergo medical procedures you do wish you didn't have to do the things that give you anxiety you do wish you didn't have to do tedious tasks that barely even require you to be present for them. it's tempting. that's why the premise works. but the premise is also that somebody has to do it. somebody has to go to the dentist and somebody has to get on that plane and somebody has to write those thank you notes. just like somebody has to clean the house and somebody has to harvest the food you eat and somebody has to make the clothes you wear. you can't eliminate inconvenience you can only delegate it. you can't eliminate suffering you can only delegate it. and always the easiest way to live with this is to see that somebody as less than. less than you less than people. and if that somebody has to wear your body to do it well maybe it's not all that different. they're not a person. you are. it's capitalism all the way down baby
#sorrrryyyy i can't stop thinking about this#i was writing a thing that i allegedly do for fun#and i found myself wishing that somebody else would write the sequences that i find uninspiring but are necessary to the story#like that's an easy thing to want. would you create a person to do that and only that is the question#and like. maybe not for your stupid hobby but a lot of people just aren't too many steps removed from being okay with it#the groundwork is there it's capitalism baby!!!!!!#severance#severance spoilers
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three hearts that beat as one | old hollywood throuples anyone???
#old hollywood#classic hollywood#my post#my edit#yes yes they are not all throuples there are some that are 4. but you get the point!!!#btw three hearts that beat as one is a legit tagline for design for living#okay okay so lets get into identifying things. song: 3 - britney spears. films in order of appearance:#design for living#design for living 1933#the talk of the town#the talk of the town 1942#the philadelphia story#the philadelphia story 1940#singin in the rain#singin in the rain 1952#too many husbands#too many husbands 1940#fours a crowd#fours a crowd 1938#its love im after#its love im after 1937#my favorite wife#my favorite wife 1940#you can tell the relative throuple-ness roughly by how much they are featured lol. okay now for my OWN sake i must tag some actors#miriam hopkins#jean arthur#cary grant#katharine hepburn#james stewart#olivia de havilland
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hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???
i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)
#rambling#and idk but like if this incentivises you to do some stretches too then that's great! remember to be kind to yourself#but im mostly directing this at myself because i was thinkng about these things while doing a 15 min stretch routine and i feel silly#but silly is okay as long as i keep going#edit: haha wow this post blew up. im gonna tag it with a few things to maybe help me find it later if necessary#sisyphus#body maintenance#popular post
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i’m gonna hold your hand with a glove on when i say this
when disabled/chronically ill people tell you they can’t do something, then that is not your cue to tell them that they can actually or that they’ll always find an excuse if they’re looking for one.
when a disabled/chronically ill person says they can’t do something, sometimes that doesn’t mean it’s outside the realm of possibility, sometimes it means if they (attempted to) do that, they will seriously hurt themselves.
when a disabled/chronically ill person says they can’t do something, sometimes it’s preventative care, and they refuse to do that thing to prevent a flare up from happening/their symptoms getting worse in the first place.
disabled/chronically ill people are not “looking for excuses”, they are giving you reasons why. something they don’t even have to do! so maybe just accept the reasons they give you.
#istg anyone whining in the comments might just get blocked#(whining about disabled/chronically ill people explaining why they can’t do certain things)#i’m tired of able bodied people being assholes about this stuff#and before you come into the comments or my asks maybe ask yourself why this bothers you That much#okay? okay.#chronic disability#chronic illness#chronically ill#chronicpain#chronic disease#disabled#chronic fatigue#chronic pain#disability#disabilties
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The math just adds up!
#dungeon meshi#falin touden#marcille donato#farcille#I always loved how chapter 27 ends with them both so bloody and 28 starts with them in the bath.#not just because of how iconic the bathtub moment is but because you know they had to scrap off so much gore first.#I think everyone in the party took a very long and methodical bath but Falin was basically *all* blood*.#Being covered in blood is one of those 'just girly things' that women deserve to stop being shamed about.#I just don't think Chilchuck is progressive enough. He probably made them take a bath first B*/#Okay jestering aside I want to just highlight -#The magnitude of Marcille's joy at seeing her dearest friend again! Of holding her and sharing her presence in the same room!#Something about this reunion feels like a beautiful dream you are afraid of waking up from...
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#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#phoenix wright#art#bllmak artwork#okay for those who need context#just uhh I have no idea if this is a thing in other countries or not#so in russia we celebrate april fool's day#and if you're like super lazy you just say some dumb shit like#'omg your shoelaces are untied!' or 'your fly is open!'#and then laugh your ass off if they fall for it#it's basically like a tradition at this point#but honestly you don’t even need context for this pic#like#ok but why does bro know that
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elita pep talk
#transformers one#transformers#b 127#bumblebee#elita one#i want more content of elita and bee#their dynamic would be so funny i think#ur mean aunt who acts like she hates u but she gets u that one really obscure thing u mentioned in passing conversation#i think their relationship can be really sweet#i think bee would geniunly really look up to elita and think shes so awesome#and elita is just like okay this annoying yellow thing follows me around now i guess#(she loves him)#her stupid son that she hates#shes tough on him but she cares...
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did I doodle this mostly so I had an excuse to draw this spite reaction image?

(YES HAHAHA YES!!!)
#dragon age#veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#rook#rookanis#spite dragon age#nazeeh mercar#da4#userpharawee#SO WHAT IF I DID#I love that funky little demon okay#also I just deleted a bunch of salty tags because I don't want to be too negative about a thing I enjoy#so I'll just say that I wish spite had been included more.#both in the romance as well as lucanis' arc in general#there is just so much potential there and barely any of it was used#ah well
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rough seas
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#ford pines#stan pines#gravity falls fanart#fanart#disney#uh uh uhhhhh idk i started drawing the sea on magma and then i was like what if i put stan in there#and THEN i hated it but then i was like hey what if i redid the comp and added a companion ford#and that was fun#so idc if it's ass anymore I LEARNED THINGS!!!!!#mfw pushing myself out of my comfort zone teaches me new things about art#woahhhhh bro#okay anyway.#my art#mods art#mods draws
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I LOVE ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS BTW. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR HATE FOR THEM ON MY POST
#textboxes#deltarune#susie deltarune#lancer deltarune#kris dreemurr#ralsei#my art#long post#hi welcome to my secret notes about this textbox adventure!#my developer's commemtary if you will.#i originally drew susiezilla in her light world color palette. but i changed it afterwards because i realized she likes herself better in#the dark world than in the light world. if she were to draw an idealized version of herself it'd be based on her dark world form.#if you pay attention to kris' drawing you'll see that they tried to give it big angel wings. but it's kind of hard to do that when you can'#control yourself.#i named Urisk that to complete the . uhm. quadfecta?#Frisk Urisk Chara Kris. or FUCK for short.#i was going to give urisk angel features because they're so Good. but i realized ralsei probably considers devils to be good rather than#angels. since he exists to banish the angel's heaven and all the heroes have strong devil motifs surrounding them.#i still gave them a halo though bc i still wanted them to seem Good.#i feel like the pacing on this one could have used some improvement#but overall i'm just happy i got it done! i'm very proud of it :]#that's the thing about these textboxes. it's really hard to go back and change previous textboxes#you've just gotta keep on chuggin forward until you reach the end! no looking back!#anyway i hope you enjoyed this one! :3#oh also. i put kris on the opposite side of everyone else to symbolize their isolation from everyone else bc of the soul#okay actually i have more to say. so susie's drawing looks like something hou could actually draw on a paper#meanwhile ralsei's was based on the drawing on his unused manual. which has pure black outlines and perfectly filled colors like it was mad#in ms paint. also i was originally going to include noelle and berdly in this too#berdly's OC was going go be Super Lord Berdly; Mayor of Smartopia#and noelle's OC was going to be really beautiful but really tragic
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