#Anyway talk to me about conrad and the fix

[shieldinthestone]

Let them be father and son Brennan

[loveinsomesacredplace]

[biggestsimponhere]

I wasn’t gonna talk about it, hoping someone else would say it but I’ve seen it too many times now. PLEASE DO NOT tag ships that are NOT in the fanfic. If it’s a fic for Conrad I don’t want to see “Cam Cameron x reader” or “Jeremiah fisher x reader” in the tags. Please tag your fics with the correct ship if it’s Jeremiah fisher x reader just tag it “Jeremiah Fisher x reader” if there’s other characters that ARE NOT with the reader just tag their name without the X reader. I know you want to have more tags so more people see it but there are plenty of other tags such as the show name or “TSITP Characters x reader”, anyways thank you for coming to my rant.

I’ve seen one to many fics tagged wrong and i’ve been searching for conrad fics and over half of them are jeremiah fics. LEAVE ME ALONE.

If you’re fic is currently tagged with the wrong ship tags please go fix it. i’m so serious. i’ll start crying

I’m sorry if this comes off bitchy I just would please like fics to be tagged correctly so I can read what I was actually looking for <3

THIS GOES FOR ALL FANDOMS BTW!!!!

PLEASE TAG YOUR FICS CORRECTLY, I LOVE YOU ALL, THANK YOU FOR FEEDING US FANFICS 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[dilscft]

Same with me! If Season 3 has Jelly endgame I'll watch it otherwise season 2 episode 8 was the series finale just like Book 2 was the ending for me. I do hope people write Jelly fics I love this ship so much they're soulmates. You know I thought the other day about if Jeremiah wasn't in both the book and the tv show and we didn't have Jelly for a relationship in both best friends and lovers I think the show and books would of been so boring I already find Conrad bland boring and toxic so watching Conrad treating Belly like shit for 3 books isn't it for me Jenny Han is a sadist for having her keep going back to Conrad who would want him? Also he was so childish last night He hurt Belly and Jeremiah so much especially Jeremiah shaming him all throughout the ep Steven too worst friend ever only Belly and Taylor was on his side made my heart feel warm hehe. I have to talk about what else I hated the candy scene which made no sense Jere knows everything about Belly he would know what she likes they added this to give Conrad even more favors than what the books had but the mom dying scene I hated how she said to take care of Conrad um can we talk about how she basically groomed Belly to be into Conrad? Like for real the only reason she liked Conrad was because of this I swear obviously Jeremiah's feelings don't matter as much 95% of the characters don't care about him which is sad. Jeremiah is so mature and smart but never gets credit for it I was crying when he was talking to Conrad about letting Belly go did you see how he was having trouble saying it? It was breaking his heart now you're telling me we have all this and they aren't endgame? No they feel like the main relationship of the show even in the books Jelly has the most development and feel endgame book 3 never counted to me I read that once and never picked it up again it has no connection to the series in my opinion just a way to make Bonrad happen so Jenny had to ruin Belly and Jeremiah's characters.

If jelly didn't exist, i wouldn't even start it. Like wdym I should watch the toxic relationship? Naaah, they only reason I'm watching this show is jelly only!

K LITERALLY DESPISE CONRAD IN THAT CAR SCENE. SHUT UP. IF I WAS JEREMIAH OR BELLY, I WOULD PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. THEY HAVE TOO MUCH PATIENCE.

Candy scene literally didn't make any sense. I think it was added in his favor, but Jeremiah would never forget it. Like in the scene where they bought drinks, he literally said that the drink she bought is her fav one after tasting it.

When skye said that Susannah wasn't a Saint, I was like, "Go on dear, what else do you wanna tell us?" Like, she was so obsessed that belly must end up with one of her boys. It's bellys life, she will choose it. Don't put that responsibility on her. Belly literally adores her and kinda may be scared to disappoint her, so she kinda put that image of conrad that she thinks she's in love? Anyways, Belly was just 16 yo and Susannah asked her to take care of her son. Like, go talk to your son instead. It's not women's responsibility to fix broken men!

[zalrb]

the summer i turned pretty 2x02 review

"Put this on" and she doesn't put it on. So then what's the point. FOR THE CHIVALRY, ZAL. THE CHIVALRY.

Oh, is this the episode they have sex?

Why would Belly know where Conrad's dorm is though?

Jeremiah didn't take the coffee you offered him but why does that mean you have to throw out your coffee too?

Ah, one Black/dark-skinned guy.

He is literally the best actor on the show so far and he's only here to be Conrad's roommate.

Exposition time: "He fell into a depression and was looking at your picture!" like who says that? If anything it would've been like, Ohhhhh you're Belly and that's it. Belly would be like "What's that supposed to mean?" and then you can be like "Nothing, nothing, just you know, it really fucked Conrad up when you two broke up." Like just make the dialogue a LITTLE natural??

THE INFINITY NECKLACE. Honestly, who cares.

"I know even though he won't say it" we don't NEED a voiceover here, oh my god, Scorsese can't be the only one who uses voiceovers properly.

How is it possible to care even less about Belly's brother and her mother when I care so little about Belly and this ridiculous triangle.

I skipped through this conversation because it's painful af.

I always find it rude when people turn on music in other people's cars lmao.

"Cause I'm always here if you ever need to talk." *suddenly starts talking* if it was that easy then why do this whole thing anyway.

At least Taylor is good at keeping up with Belly's lies but Belly why wouldn't you text Taylor the lie you said to your mom? Amateur shit man.

If you guys know each other so well wouldn't he know that you could do something like change a tire? And I'm not saying he has to know everything about her but they don't seem to know anything about each other.

The details on this show are horrendous.

Also a spare can only take you so far, you would still need to go to a mechanic to change the tire.

Belly, you were my best friend! WAS SHE?

This is the flattest argument. They're not even talking over each other, everything is SO contained.

If you hate yourself for forgetting him then I need more emotion. And he is STRUGGLING for a tear.

And she manages a tear when he's like you weren't there, you left me but her face is so flat, that's why I keep saying crying is about more than tears, like both of you should be DEVASTATED. At the VERY LEAST I should be getting Bellarke from these or from her and Conrad (ha, which I also said when watching Shadow and Bone)

I know it's supposed to have been like a while since the two of them have spoken but it doesn't feel that way so their resolution happens SO quickly i'm like why even there be a "chasm" in the first place.

How are Bella and Jacob better than this?

Wait, how did they get their tire fixed?

Everyone is so bad at trying to act natural around each other.

"You always could read my mind" I MEAN COULD HE?

Just because you guys say it doesn't mean we SEE it.

Belly! omg Nicole! Everything sounds SO fake.

Why wouldn't you grab something from like a gas station on the way? You're just going to hope for Oreos? Also Conrad you had to drive four hours from Brown to wherever she lives you didn't pick up supplies on the way?

*gasp* hot cocoa! "amazing!" i mean,, is it?

again conrad/belly are supposed to be matt and julie on the couch

or they're supposed to be ryan and marissa by the pool

or jake and peyton just being themselves

and there's just such a coldness to them. and i know he's doing that whole focus on her because he's suddenly serious and intense and it's NOT PLATONIC but it doesn't work when you don't have chemistry and are only capable of one facial expression.

of course a taylor swift song is playing.

they're trying SO HARD to be happy, like jeyton has great chemistry but i remember that one scene when they're in savannah and hilarie just overacts

and that's what it is watching belly all the time while conrad is just standing around being jughead or jon looking at daenerys, i just i can't. i caaaaaaaan't.

and i've just seen too many play fights

and the love scene, the lighting is doing the work and so is desiree because that's the song they use in leo dicaprio's romeo + juliet and also it's a clear call back pjo's love scene

but as much as i have issues with pjo's narrative so much about this is earned because there are callbacks, like i know i don't know the whole context of this show and of this ship but it seems like the only thing is the necklace whereas joey calls back to the time when pacey is like i'm going to count to ten and then i'm going to start kissing you etc. and brings it up IN dialogue then she whispers before the kiss, "my love" and belly's just here being like "no i know, no i want to" your voice should be different, it shouldn't just be like a regular conversation, like neither of you have conviction in your voices

"what is she doing here?" are you torn are you mad or are you just saying the line, sir?

oh good, it's over.

[wowconradfisher]

all of the girls you’ve loved before

pairing: min ho x reader

genre: slight angst, best friends to lovers, they are both so dense to each others feelings..

summary: being best friends with KISS’s resident “heart throb” is not for the weak. falling in love with him isn’t either, so what happens when the line between best friend and boyfriend becomes too blurred?

a/n: hi hello i am back from the dead. i’m convinced this acc is just gonna be a jenny han-iverse fic acc bc if not conrad then i’m writing about min ho. i have ended school so i hope i am more consistent with writing! feel free to send in requests + questions btw :D i hope u guys enjoy this silly fic that is also based off a taylor swift song hence the title!

Sitting outside of your best friend’s party that he throws every year was not something you thought you would be doing. You were convinced that this time was going to be different, and maybe just because you were seeing Min Ho in a different light, he would see you too. Here you still were, all dolled up but with no guts to walk into the party. You sighed, thinking about how pathetic you might be looking at the moment to anyone walking by. It was annoying in your opinion, just a month ago you couldn’t stand the thought of being with your best friend but now you’re starting to second guess and think more about the times you’ve spent together.

It was about 2 weeks ago when you and Min Ho, well more so you, started kind of overthinking the things you two would do together. You used to think that it was just regular best friend things you did, like talking about your past lovers and flings, laughing about all of the late nights you both have spent on your own having lame fights on the phone. But then you start thinking about the other nights, sneaking out past curfew and holding onto each other's hands in hopes of not getting caught. Or the way he would treat you the way he would never treat anyone else, allowing you to see his softer side, doing silly things like letting you do his skin care after he knows you’ve been crying in his bathroom about some dude that said “loved you” not knowing how carelessly he’s throwing out the words that mean so much to you. You see yourself doing the regular “best friend duties” like never saying bye to each other because you know you’ll be seeing each other again anyways, but you know it shouldn’t bother you when you see the new transfer student Madison write your best friend’s name in a heart all over her assignment. 

You shook yourself out of your daze and stood up, you knew it was wrong for you to be feeling this way about your best friend and there was no reason for you to start feeling this way now. Looking at your phone’s reflection to fix up your makeup, you took a deep breath and confidently made your way to the venue. Walking in and seeing a bunch of lights and loud music was expected, but tonight your goal was to forget about how you felt and let the universe tell you what to do. 

“Excuse me ma’am who let you out looking so good?” a voice spoke from behind you while tapping you on the shoulder.

You turned around and to your surprise it was one of your other close friends, “Q oh my gosh I haven’t seen you in like a week!” you exclaimed while pulling him into a hug, not failing to notice Florian behind him. Once you pulled away you waved at the other male who signaled to his flask, basically asking you if you wanted a shot. You grinned and suddenly all of your prayers had been answered and your night had begun. 

If you were being honest, you knew you weren’t a light weight. You always thought of yourself as someone who could just drink enough to not be a heavy weight and be at the perfect level of tipsy where you can feel the buzz. This is the point where you had to go out to the dance floor because of how free it made you feel, not a single care or worry in the world. That was until you felt someone tapping on your shoulder. You turned around to see a guy, a random one you have never seen before around KISS. You could admit he was a bit attractive but not as attractive as Min Ho. 

Looking up at the stranger you let out a forced smile, “Hi?” you spoke, but sounded more like a question

“Couldn’t help but notice a pretty girl dancing all by herself, you looking for someone to dance with?” the guy asked as he tried to put his hand on your waist. 

You backed away before you suddenly felt someone behind you put their hand around your waist, “Baby I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” a boy spoke with an accent you could recognize anywhere. Looking up, you let out a soft genuine smile at the sight of your best friend. 

Min Ho cleared his throat and saw the guy was still there, “Hey man I don’t know if you noticed but she’s my girl, so I would appreciate it if you didn’t hit on her,” 

The guy furrowed his brows at Min Ho before quickly realizing who he was, “Oh shit sorry man I didn’t know,” he quickly muttered out

“You’re lucky I didn’t have you kicked out. Now leave us alone, yeah?” Min Ho replied, shooing the other guy away. 

Once the guy was gone, Min Ho held onto your hand and led you to a more secluded area away from the party. He looked at you and caressed your cheek, “You okay Y/N?” he spoke softly

You looked up at your best friend and took in the way he looked at you. The way he looked at you made you feel so delicate, like you were the only person that mattered to him. You broke out of your daze and just nodded at him, “Thank you Min, I think it’s time for me to head out now though,” You spoke

Min Ho frowned, but it looked more like a pout to you, “But I just found you,” he spoke, “and we didn’t even get to dance yet,” 

You took his hand that was on your cheek and held it, “I know, I’m sorry I’m just not in the mood for it anymore,” you replied softly 

After hearing your response, it was like something in Min Ho clicked, causing him to hold your hand again, “Okay, let’s go then,” he spoke like it was no big deal

“Let’s go? What do you mean? Like you’re gonna just ditch your party?” You asked in disbelief

He nodded, “Uh yeah duh? Why would I stay at a party that my best friend doesn’t even want to be at?” 

There was that word again, it just keeps dangling over you and taunting you everytime you think you guys could be something more than just friends. Hearing his response just made you let out a small smile. Him pretending to be your boyfriend just lets you have a glimpse of what you weren’t but what you could be, truly it does break your heart but what can you really do about it.  After that night, he just dropped you off back at your dorms, you didn’t even have the energy to invite him in like how you guys usually do. It did feel awkward just leaving him but you needed this. Your heart needed it. 

You did feel bad for ghosting everyone. It had been a week since the party and you needed to shut down and take time for yourself to really think about what you wanted to do about your feelings for Min Ho. After being by yourself for a week and doing your work online, you felt like you really did learn a lot about yourself, and that in order to get over your feelings for your best friend, you had to accept that you had those feelings in the first place. 

During this week of you ghosting everyone, you weren’t the only one in question about their emotions. Min Ho to say the least has been snappier than ever to everyone. Most times, whenever you were around he would be at his nicest, you were someone who humbled him and brought him back to Earth but without you? He truly was something and someone you did not want to cross. The boy is a mess, he doesn’t know how long ago you guys haven’t talked for this long. Even if it was just a week, it felt like years. One thing Min Ho will do for you but never admit or do for anyone else is giving you space.

If he’s being honest with himself, he tried so incredibly hard not to fall for you or do anything that can potentially jeopardize his relationship with you but the moment he saw you at his party looking the way you did dancing on the dance floor, he knew he was done for. That’s why the whole week he has been so upset with himself for doing what he did that night, for calling you baby, for pretending to be your boyfriend, all of it, because now you weren’t even talking to him. It wasn’t until you texted him asking if he could come over where he finally felt the feeling of anxiousness leave his body.

Min Ho was standing at your door with a bouquet of your favorite flowers, debating on when to knock. That was until you beat him to it and just opened the door after hearing his shuffling from behind the door. Genuinely you were surprised, you didn't expect him to show up so fast, and with your favorite flowers too?

"Hi Min," you spoke with a smile before opening your door to let him in, "Come in please, you've been here countless of times so don't get shy on me now,"

He chuckled, taking off his shoes before stepping into your dorm, placing them among your other shoes and then following you to your room. Before sitting down, he handed you the flowers, "Here Y/N, I got you your favorites,"

"What's the occasion Min?" you asked taking the flowers and admiring them before placing them on your lap

"I just missed you that's all," he replied before sitting down next to you

You cleared your throat and started fiddling with your hands, "Min Ho I've been meaning to talk to you about this for a while," you spoke, "But if I'm honest I want to say I'm sorry for ghosting you for a week, I just needed time to figure out what I was feeling,"

Min Ho grabbed onto your hands and held them, preventing you from fiddling with your hands and causing you to look up at him, "It's okay Y/N, you know I would give you all the time in the world," he replied

Staring into his eyes, you knew you had to say it now or else you would never want to say it, "Min Ho, I'm in love with you," you said feeling so much lighter with that confession alone, "I think I always have been, but I wanted to be sure of it before I told you. I don't know when it exactly happened, but at one point the lines between being my best friend and wanting something more with you started to blur. So please tell me now if I'm just overthinking this whole thing and maybe I'm the only one who feels this way but-" you spoke before Min Ho leaned in to kiss you.

Your eyes widened in shock for a second before you closed your eyes finally kissing him back, melting into his touch and putting your hand onto his chest. If you could describe what the best thing that has happened to you, it would be this moment alone. The way your lips moved together in perfect synchronization, like you were both made for each other. Truly it could not compare to anything you've ever felt before.

Once you both pulled away, your forehead rested against Min Ho's, "You drive me crazy Y/N, I never even thought I had a chance with you but I'm so thankful all of our past romances led me here to you," he spoke

You smiled at his response, "So does that mean you love me too?"

"I love you more than words can describe, I mean I can show you in actions too?" He replied with a smirk

"Min Ho!" you gasped, playfully hitting his shoulder

He laughed at your reaction, "I'm kidding! I mean unless you were serious?"

You rolled your eyes playfully at the boy you were thankful to be in love with. At least this time you were sure this would be real.

[royal1asset-if]

How would ROs in relationship stage react if they were talking about something random with the MC but the MC is in a playful mood so they keep interrupting the RO by constantly smooching them on the lips? 💕💕

Hey yo, sorry for answering this late I got a problem with my schedule in school so it taken me some time to fix it and hoping that it will stay fixed.

Anyways let's see their reaction hmm :)

(Luna)

Luna: So MC this pie is so-

You were interrupted by smooching you on the lips.

Luna: So anyways this pie is the-

MC smooches you again.

Luna: Would you please stop that?

MC: Why?

Luna: Because it's very rude to interrupt people when they are speaking.

MC: Alright finish your piece then.

Luna: .....(Still watching and on guard) So as I was saying this pie is the most swee-

MC kisses you again.

Luna: FOR THE LOVE OF ANYTHING THAT IS HOLY.

MC: Well I will not stand idly by while a pie takes 1st place for being the sweetest thing in the word.

Luna: I wasn't say- Oh screw it.

You grabbed MC and smooched them back.

(Serena)

Serena: So that is the proper way to charm someone MC.

MC: Can you repeat that?

You look at MC with annoyance.

Serena: Alright listen close and this is the last-

MC smooches you .

MC: Did I get it right?

Serena: Something is missi-

MC kisses you again.

MC: What were you say-

You smooch MC back.

Serena: Now how do you like them apples?

MC: Touch-

You silence them with a passionate kiss

(Elrick)

Elrick: Hey Sugar can I ask you a question?

MC: Sure

Elrick: What do you call a-

MC smooches you.

Elrick: Alright, you have me speechless but I-

MC kissses you again.

Elrick: Let me fin-

MC moves in for the kiss but you're anticipating this so you grab their back and dip them down.

Elrick: Checkmate.

You kissed them with a fiery vengeance.

(Amelia)

Amelia: It's a great day.

MC: I agree but do you know can this day even better.

You looked at MC.

Amelia: Wha-

MC smooches you.

Amelia: Hmmm,whmmmm

You tried to speak but MC just pushed their lip even deeper on yours.

You push MC back to get some air.

Amelia: You know kissing some without their permission is very rude.

MC: Then it looks like I'm naughty then?

Amelia: You are and you need to be punish.

You grabbed MC's clothes and pull them for a deep kiss.

(Conrad)

Conrad: So this rootbeet here is ver-

MC smooches you.

Conrad: very important because it's essenti-

MC kisses you.

Conrad: Essential to stabilize the potio-

MC silences you with a peck on the lips.

Conrad: Potions because if no-

MC leaning close and you decided to meet them with a kiss of your own.

(Dustin)

Dustin: Wews, I'm so tired

MC: Really?

You looked at MC

Dustin: I have you-

MC smooches you on the lips.

MC: Better?

Dustin: I need som-

MC silences you with a kiss.

Dustin: Alright let's go for round 2.

[kendrickslmanburg]

the start of a wonderful friendship

summary: this is just a short fic about how Beca and Stacie's friendship started.

First day of third grade, also known as Beca's first day of school for the school year. Ever since her parents divorced, they're only concern is her education and where she'll study her parents somewhat agreed that she'll be staying with her mom until she graduates high school, and she'll move with her father for college. Beca's mom stopped in the entrance of the school to drop her off "Have fun at your first day of school sweetie." Her mom planted a kiss on the top of her head. Beca smiles at her mom and nodded and left the car, heading inside the school building.

Beca's first few classes weren't really somewhat interesting, she didn't talk to anyone but greeted her new classmates and old with "Hi" and "Hello"s. But during lunch time, she decided to eat outside. While she's having lunch she hears a faint "Give it back!" coming from the playground, she turns her back to see a tall, lanky girl reaching for her glasses from a bunch of boys on the slide. One of the boys intentionally stepped on the girl's glasses, snapping it in half. This made Beca get up, grab her bag and march to the playground to help the poor girl "Hey! Leave her alone." Beca told the two boys off, knowing that Beca is short the boys start to laugh at her "Oh no! Scary, what will she do?" One of them mocked being scared. Beca grabs a handful of rocks from the ground and threw it at them, this made her feel like she's David and the bullies were a bunch of Goliaths. The bullies start to scream and run away as she chased them around the playground throwing rocks at them "That's it, scram or I'll find a rock that's bigger than I threw at you and bash your skull!" Those are some words that came out of a nine year old's mouth.

Beca heads back to where the girl was, she looks down on the ground and picked up her glasses handing it to the taller girl. The taller girl frowned to see her glasses are broken in half "They're broken." she muttered to herself, Beca opens her bag and pulled out tape from her pencil case "Give me your glasses." She reached her hand out. She hands the glasses to Beca and watched as she tried to fix her glasses with layers of tape "Here." She handed the glasses back, the girl puts her glasses back on and smiles at her "Thank you so much!" She pulls her in for a tight hug.

Beca lightly pushed her away smiling at her as well "You're welcome, I'm Beca by the way." She introduced herself to the taller girl reaching her hand out again for her to shake. "Stacie, Stacie Conrad! Nice to meet you Beca." Stacie introduced herself to the shorter girl vigorously shaking her hand, Beca lets go of Stacie's hand "Thank you for saving my life by the way." Stacie said. Beca shrugged "It's nothing, they are a bunch of idiots anyways." The two girls laughed it out as a response, the two of them climbed up on the slide and decided to eat together there. "I have a sandwich that we can share!" Beca looked at her lunchbox again, "Does it have peanut butter? I am allergic to peanut butter." She asked the shorter girl. Beca shook her head "This one doesnt have any peanut butter." She handed a sandwich to Stacie.

As the two of them are having lunch in the playground, the both of them start to realize that this will be a start of a life long friendship.

[refinedbuffoonery]

Looking Through A Window (7)

macriley married undercover au

masterlist.

Sorry for the delay! I either have my shit together in real life or fandom life, but never both at the same time lol. Anyway, I got endless joy from reading all your reactions to last chapter’s clifhanger (sorry not sorry). I didn’t respond to comments because I don’t trust myself not to spoil anything, but just know that I appreciate every single one of your theories. Also, many of you were at least somewhat correct. (Yikes am I becoming predictable?? Gotta fix that.) This chapter ends at a good stopping point, so I’m going to switch gears and write a couple chapters of other fics (which I encourage you to read!!) before coming back to this. But fear not! I have big plans for the future of this fic, and I’ll send you all down the theory rabbit hole soon enough. xoxo

*****

The world narrows until Mac is only aware of two things: his racing heart and the fact that Riley is gone. 

The blood is fresh, but there’s no sign of a struggle—no sign of anything, really. The windows are locked and unbroken, the bedroom door is half-closed the way it always is. Not a single thing is out of place…except for Riley. 

So, where the hell is she? 

His body goes taut as the worst case scenario plays in his mind. Please don’t be gone, Mac silently begs. Please. 

The apartment is quiet. Too quiet. So when the shower turns on with a loud thunk, Mac flinches. Hard. Without thinking, he scrambles out of bed and lunges for the bathroom door. 

As he bursts through the door, Mac’s awareness shifts to three things: Riley is alive, she’s naked, and she’s screaming. 

“Mac!” She hisses, glaring over her shoulder. If looks could kill, he’d be very, very dead by now. At least her back is to him. “What the hell?” 

Mac barely hears her over the roaring in his ears. He scans her naked body, trying and failing to be professional as he scans for injuries. 

His eyes land on the blood smeared between her thighs, then the thin stream rolling down the inside of her knee. As understanding dawns on him, Mac holds out his own blood-covered hand in silent explanation. 

Riley winces. “Sorry about the blood.” 

Mac still feels a little disconnected from his body when he says, “I was afraid you were dead.”

Embarrassment floods Riley’s face. She begs,“Can we please finish this conversation when I’m not naked and bleeding all over the floor?” Mac’s gaze automatically flicks to the drops of blood between her feet, but he doesn’t move. His limbs are still frozen in place, the way they’ve been since he found her. “Get out!” Riley snaps. 

His own embarrassment finally taking hold, Mac stumbles backward, tripping over the door frame on his way out. 

While Riley showers, Mac busies himself by stripping the bed and washing the sheets and blankets. Not just because it needs to be done, but because it’s easier to process emotions when his hands are busy. It feels like he just experienced the entire spectrum of human emotion in the span of three minutes, and now all these untethered feelings are floating around in his head. As he works, Mac examines them one by one. 

He woke up this morning wanting to cuddle with Riley. Not just wanting to, but comfortable enough to act on that desire. 

When his hand landed in the blood, his brain immediately jumped to the worst case scenario. He is deeply afraid of said scenario. 

Then panic set in, as he desperately tried to prove himself wrong. 

Followed by relief at finding Riley and learning the blood was not from an injury, but from a normal bodily function. 

Then embarrassment, because he freaked out and barged in on her over something he could’ve deduced for himself if only he’d just stopped to think. He’s supposed to be smart, so why couldn’t that big brain of his, as Jack would say, figure this out? 

The answer to that question, at least, comes easily: Because it’s Riley, and he doesn’t always think with his head when it comes to her. 

For example, while he’s mortified at seeing her naked, a part of him wishes she’d been facing the other direction. 

Mac starts the washing machine and decides to do the mature thing and hide in the kitchen for the entire foreseeable future. He spies Harley lying on the couch, gazing out a window. “And where were you for all of this?” he asks. “A heads-up would’ve been nice.” 

Harley stares at him for a few seconds before resuming her vigil, and Mac hears the message, loud and clear: You’re on your own. 

When Riley still hasn’t emerged from the bedroom long after the shower turned off, Mac suspects that she’s hiding too. He doesn’t blame her. 

It’s late morning by the time the laundry is finished, and Mac can’t hide any longer. Clutching the still-warm sheets and blankets to his chest, he cautiously ventures into the bedroom. Riley is lying on the bed with her knees tucked up to her chin, and a pang of sympathy echoes in Mac’s chest. Her eyes are closed, but Mac doubts that she’s actually asleep. 

Dropping the sheets on the floor, he asks, “Are you alive?” 

Riley groans. “No.” 

“Could you please go die on the couch then, so I can make the bed?” She groans again and mumbles something incoherent. “Also you’ll feel better if you eat something.” 

“No I won’t.” She sounds like a whining toddler, and Mac has to stifle a snort. Still, a bit of the awkwardness dissipates. But only a bit. 

“Yes you will. I know you, Miss Hangry.” 

“I’m not hangry.” 

“Says the one who skipped breakfast.” 

“I was hiding from you.” 

“So was I,” Mac confesses. Riley cracks a single eye open at that, just in time to see his cheeks heat. “Trust me, I am way more embarrassed than you.” 

It takes him a second to notice that she’s blushing too. “Wanna bet?” 

Mac starts putting the fitted sheet on the unoccupied side of the mattress. “I didn’t see anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Nothing he hasn’t seen before, anyway, but Mac wisely decides to keep that part to himself. “Victoria’s secret is still a secret,” he adds with a wink. 

Riley rolls her eyes. “You did not just say that.” 

“Made you laugh, didn’t it?” Mac gives her a shit-eating grin, and despite her best attempt at hiding it, amusement slips through the cracks in Riley’s unimpressed facade. 

“Whatever. We don’t have to do anything today, do we?” Mac raises his brow at the question. For all the years he’s known Riley, she’s always been more of a ‘suck it up’ kind of person, not a ‘stay in bed’ person. So her question is surprising, if not mildly concerning. 

“Nope.” He pauses. “Are you okay? This isn’t like you.” 

Riley rolls onto her back. “Dude, it feels like someone took a cheese grater to my insides.” 

Mac winces at the mental image. “Ouch.” 

She pauses, as if contemplating her next words before she says them. “I got a new IUD a couple months ago, and this one makes my cramps way worse. I used to be able to ignore them, but this sucks.” 

Not knowing how to reply to that, he squeezes Riley’s ankle in a way he hopes is reassuring. Mac flicks his gaze up to meet hers and finds Riley already looking at him. Her gaze is warm and steady, but Mac can see hints of pain clouding her dark eyes. He thinks it isn’t fair that her body turns on her like this. 

"I'm getting back in bed the second you're done making it," she warns. 

"Go right ahead." 

Riley wanders into the kitchen, and, true to her word, reappears right when Mac finishes smoothing down the comforter, with Harley at her heels. To Mac's surprise, Harley jumps on the bed, waits for Riley to get situated, and then tucks herself into Riley's side. A smile blooms on his face. Riley puts an arm around Harley, pulling the dog into her stomach before moving to scratch her head. When Harley licks Riley’s face in return, Mac suddenly gets the feeling he's watching something private. 

Satisfied that Riley is in capable hands, Mac leaves without another word.

*****

Beneath the weathered wooden conference table, Harley’s head rests on Mac’s foot as she dozes through the Patriots’ council meeting. When they arrived, no one looked more put off by their presence than Conrad, but, true to his word, Ethan welcomed Mac and Riley with open arms and encouraged their participation. A murmur of dissent snaked through the room, but no one openly questioned Ethan’s decision to include them. 

Twenty minutes in, Mac would rather be anywhere but here. The “meeting” so far has been very little business and mostly rehashing some fishing trip a few of the guys went on over the weekend. Mac is holding out hope that it won’t be a complete waste of his time, but said hope dwindles each time someone exaggerates about the size of a fish. 

There’s nothing interesting to look at in the room, save for Riley. No art, no plants, no wall of guns. Not even a clock. Just drab gray walls with no windows. And he doesn’t dare study any of the men for longer than a second or two each. Making an enemy is as easy as looking at someone the wrong way, and Mac has no desire to antagonize the other members of the Patriots…at least not yet. 

Extricating his foot from beneath Harley’s head, he’s just about to make an excuse about needing to use the restroom when Ethan’s phone rings. After quickly checking it, Ethan excuses himself from the meeting with a curt nod to Conrad. Mac understands the look; he’s given and received it countless times himself, after all. Permission to continue without him. Because despite his tendency to toe the line, Conrad is still Ethan’s trusted lieutenant. The exchange is subtle, practiced, and apparently insignificant to the other men at the table, who are somehow still talking about fish. 

When the storytelling finally lulls, Conrad clears his throat. "Let's start with recruitment. Report." No nonsense, right to the point. Maybe he’s tired of the fish conversation too. 

As Conrad steers the conversation through the various items on the agenda, Mac realizes two things. 

One, the Patriots are far more organized than he originally made them out to be. This is no grassroots startup, and their plans go much deeper than protests and parking lot shootings. 

Two, Conrad is careful not to let anyone share too much information, instead asking everyone to give their detailed reports in individual meetings. And it's more than just trying to keep him and Riley in the dark. It's almost as if…almost as if Conrad doesn't want anyone to see the big picture besides himself. 

Mac decides to take his theory for a test drive. "I know I'm new here," he says, "but why have everyone meet with you a second time individually instead of sharing their full reports now? Wouldn't that be a better use of time?" 

Conrad sneers. "On the contrary, boy, why would I waste everyone's time making them listen to information they don't need to know?" 

It takes every ounce of Mac’s self control not to roll his eyes. 

Beneath the table, Riley grips his knee, nails digging in through his khakis. Mac wants to tell her that he’s thinking the same thing she is, but he can’t. The best he can settle for is a brief touch on her arm before needing to do something with his hands to distract himself from the way his skin burns under her touch. He elects to drum his fingers on the table, mostly to push Conrad’s buttons even further. 

If Conrad’s furrowed brow is any indication, it works. 

“Do you mind?” Conrad says with a pointed glare at Mac’s hand. 

Feigning ignorance, Mac replies, “Mind about what?” 

“The tapping.” 

“Oh!” Mac makes a show of sliding his gaze down to his hand before flattening his palm against the table. “My bad.” 

Looking none too pleased, Conrad moves on, but to Mac’s surprise, the man sitting beside him leans in to whisper, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. He's not the one to piss off." His words are tinged with genuine concern, and under different circumstances, Mac would appreciate the advice. 

"He's a man," Mac whispers back, "just like everyone else at this table." Minus Riley, of course. 

The man presses on. "The previous occupant of your seat was shot point blank for asking too many questions." Mac's brows raise at that. "You're sitting in a dead man's chair." 

Mac pockets that little detail gratefully, but he hesitates before ultimately heeding the man's warning. He fiddles with the button on his sleeve, impatiently waiting for the meeting to end so he can share his theory with Riley. 

What Mac doesn't anticipate is Riley beating him to it, pulling him aside before they're even back in the car. "Conrad's compartmentalizing information," she says in a quiet, confident tone. 

They’re too exposed to be having this conversation. Mac nervously checks for eavesdroppers, but doesn’t spot any. Deeming it safe for now, he replies, "Yeah I thought so too." 

"He's made himself essential. No one else knows how everything works." Riley pauses, eyes catching on something over his shoulder. Barely audibly, she adds, "An asshole and a control freak." He doesn’t need to turn around to know she’s looking at Conrad, not when she has a white-knuckled grip on Harley’s leash. 

"So if we eliminate him…" 

Riley nods in understanding. He’s controlling everything in an attempt to rise through the rankings and seize power. So if they eliminate Conrad, the whole organization may very well come tumbling down in his wake. 

Now they just have to figure out how the hell to accomplish that. 

"What if we help him?" Riley suggests, reading Mac’s mind. 

"What?" 

"We've spent all this time looking for the weakest link, but maybe…maybe we need to attach ourselves to the strongest one." A stray curl falls in Riley's face, and as she brushes it behind her ear, Mac absentmindedly wishes his fingers were brushing it back instead. Riley continues, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think we should help him become more powerful than he already is. That way, we can do as much damage as possible when we take him out." 

A man they don't know walks by, and Mac nods in greeting. Waiting for the man to move out of earshot, Mac drops to one knee, giving Harley a good scratch. She wags her tail and opens her mouth in a smile, clearly enjoying the attention. When the coast is clear again, Mac says, "You just made this op so much longer, but I think you're right." 

Riley snorts. "What, is there somewhere else you need to be?" 

Gazing up at the woman before him, the answer is obvious. Not unless you're coming with me. 

*****

In the gray hour before dawn crests over the world, Mac wakes to something tickling his nose. He exhales sharply, trying to blow it away, but the tickle persists.

His face is pressed into the nape of Riley's neck, and a deep inhale causes a few strands of her hair to go up his nostrils. Reaching up to brush Riley’s hair out of his face, he hesitates right before his calloused fingers brush her skin, afraid that even the barest touch will shatter the moment. As soon as Riley wakes, he'll have to hide behind his mask of indifference, and Mac isn't ready to do that yet. 

For as long as he dares, Mac allows himself to imagine what it would be like to wake up with Riley for real, in his own home. He sees her curled in his bed, sheets pulled up to her chin, hears the soft, steady cadence of her breathing, smells the lingering traces of perfume on her skin. 

Riley stirs in his arms, and the vision blurs, moving out of reach. Mac grasps for it, but it evaporates into nothingness as she settles back against him. 

He shifts his focus to the very real sensation of Riley’s body tucked into his. Her back to his chest, his leg slotted between hers, her ass pressed against his—

Shit. 

Mac jerks backward, trying to put as much space between them as possible before Riley wakes and realizes just what she scooted back against. 

Except, in his haste, Mac doesn’t realize there’s a third party present until his foot slams into the small, warm body lying at the foot of the bed. Guilt washes over him at Harley’s ensuing yelp. 

Awake, Riley mumbles, “Did you just kick the dog?” 

“It was an accident!” Mac insists, sitting up. He turns his attention to Harley. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. You can come back if you want.” He pats the bed in a way he hopes is reassuring, but Harley merely eyes him with suspicion before slinking out of the room. 

“I can’t believe you kicked the dog,” Riley says, still half-asleep. “She finally slept with us, and you betrayed her.” 

“I told you it was an accident!” 

“Betrayal.” 

Mac rakes a hand through his hair. “You’re never going to let this go, are you?” 

“Nope.” Riley sighs, rolling back to her side of the bed, and Mac isn’t sure whether to be relieved or disappointed. Or maybe a little bit of both. “You better go apologize.” 

Mac scoffs. “And let you take over the entire bed while I’m gone? I don’t think so.” 

And there it is. The closest they’ve come to acknowledging the evolution of their bed-sharing habits. Particularly the newfound lack of sticking to their respective sides. If he’s being honest with himself, Mac doesn’t know where to go from here. He wants to see it as a sign of things changing between them. Obviously Riley is aware of their precarious positioning, but based on her casual relocation, she doesn’t see this any differently than the dozens of times they’ve slept squished in a small space together in the past. Whether she’s aware of the other thing, she doesn’t let on. 

“Your funeral,” Riley says, pulling Mac out of his head. 

Right. 

The dog. 

The dog whose forgiveness he needs to earn via extra breakfast. Maybe extra dinner too. 

Sighing, Mac goes after her, cursing his inability to get things right with either of the females in this house. 

.

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[courfaeriedust]

ur tags on the TSITP post are so good 10/10

THANK YOU ANON. In excellent news, this was exactly the prompt I needed because I have MORE THOUGHTS, actually, and by god I’m going to make them someone else’s problem.

Laurel/Susannah. This is a thing, right? When Laurel was talking about that one love that would have just burnt up, she meant Susannah. And it’s the homoerotic queer girl friendship of it all, because sure, they could have been something. But then they wouldn’t have THIS. And like, one of the things I liked about the show was how it really showed them having fun in a way parents never get to in shows. But also. Also. What if. They’d never give up the kids for anything, and it’s okay, it’s all okay. But that little spark never quite went out, even if they’ve lived with it so long now that it’s just the way it is. They’d never risk all they have. But maybe they both sometimes think about getting their own Perfect Summer, too.

Jeremiah/Steven okay okay so like. You can’t just end the show there and not expect me to wonder how Jere reacts to. Everything, really. But you know what makes it better? Making it gayer, that’s what. Because Jere is an unapologetic romcom lover and what can be more romantic than being in love with your oldest friend, your best friend, the one who can always make you laugh and who you’ve grown up with and who knows you so well, and oh wait, there are two people that could describe. So maybe Jeremiah thinks it’s Belly, because, looks, kissing guys at parties is fine, it’s great, but he’s not unaware of the world out there, he knows that it would be different, if it was more than that. So being in love with Belly, well, it’s just easier, and it fits right into all those romcoms. It must be real, right? And when he sees her smiling, it makes him smile. And when he sees her with Conrad, he’s jealous. But is that jealous of them, though? Or is it jealousy of how easily Belly is coaxing him back out of whatever funk he’s been in since April. Jealousy that no matter how hard he’s tried to help Connie, nothing has worked, not like Belly does. So really, all the elements add up. And Steven’s busy this summer, busy working so close to Jere but somehow never being quite around; busy trying to be a boyfriend, or a boy friend, or whatever it is that’s going on there. He’s pretty sure he knows, he just. Doesn’t want to. Conrad broods enough for the whole family. Jeremiah’s more of a paste-over-it-with-a-grin kinda guy.

Anyway, in conclusion, this fixes the sads (other than the obvious Sads that are too much to process rn), and, how funny would it be if Belly and Conrad got together and Jeremiah and Steven got together, but then their moms ALSO got together and then it was Real Weird, thank u for coming to my TED talk

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

what are your top ten favorite things from ANf? this ones a toughie.

Oof, okay, sure. Top 10 favorite things about ANF... I can think of 10 things, uhhh...:

10. Tripp vs. Ava

Yeah, I know-- why would I put this on a favorites list? Well, because it’s actually pretty good, and what I mean by this is I enjoy the twist of it all. 

This isn’t the first vs choice we’ve been presented within this series. In s1, we had to pick between Carley and Doug, and whoever we didn’t pick died. In s2, we had to pick between Jane and Kenny, and whoever we didn’t pick died. 

So when we get to ANF, you’re thinking that this is just another situation where whoever you pick will live while the other one will die. But then Joan’s like “Haha gotcha bitch” and murders the one you pick to live. It’s a slap in the face and I love it. 

Though it does kind of suck that Joan is literally the most boring antagonist in twdg. This is the only interesting thing she pulls, but at least it’s a good one. 

9. Javi and Gabe’s father/son relationship

This one is so low on the list because there was still a lot to be desired with this relationship, but what we did get was enjoyable. I know Gabe gets a lot of shit but his relationship with Javi is really nice and I wish they had focused on it some more. 

Like when they’re breaking in to steal the group guns and Javi’s giving Gabe a bunch of advice on who to trust and it’s super good! Or when Gabe tells Javi that he wants to be like him?? that he sees Javi as a father figure?? It left me wanting more! Why focus on the dumb shit with Kate when you could focus on Gabe and Javi’s relationship and growth??

8. Ava knocking Tripp down on his ass with a single punch

Ava is my queen. Her knocking the beast of a man known as Tripp down with a single punch is my favorite thing. 

I just... what else is there to say? 

7. Muh boy Conrad

I love Conrad so much as a character, but I also love the fact that there are so many opportunities to get him killed... which I realize is an odd thing to say about a character I enjoy, but I like it because it’s different than anything twdg has done. 

I do get why I a lot of people don’t save him because of the situation with Clem, Gabe, and Javi..... but I’m willing to keep him alive to finish his arc rather than kill him off. Even if Gabe and Clem are all pissy at me afterward. 

Also, javirad is OTP but y’know. 

6. Tripp and Javi’s bromance

What can I say? I love a good bromance, and these two got it. If I can’t have an actual romance between these two, I’ll settle for a bromance. I enjoy the talk they have about romance and love, it’s super sweet. And I love their dynamic and chemistry. Super good... until Tripp fucking dies but that’s the way these things tend to go. 

5. Multiple button presses

Auuuuuughhhhh I love multiple button presses. ANF did it perfectly with the buttons appearing on the actual walkers and I love it. I wish TFS had kept more of these in, but they only had one at the end when AJ stabs a walker a bunch of times in the barn. 

Yeah, it’s a bit dumb but I don’t care. I get a strange joy out of the multiple button presses. Don’t judge. 

4. David Garcia

Yeah, I know... not a lot of people love David and I get it, but damn it, he’s a bitch and I love him. 

I love him as an antagonistic character, his voice acting is terrific, he has so many compelling moments... I just wish ANF wasn’t a mess so it could’ve given David the total treatment he deserved.

I enjoyed the strained sibling relationship he has with Javi [most of the time] but GOD they really ruin it by throwing Kate into the mess. If they took Kate out of the equation, we could’ve had a story about two brothers reconnecting in a broken world while dealing with a corrupt community and taking care of Gabe and Mariana. 

But no. Sigh. 

Anyway, David’s a jerk but I like him anyway. 

3. Multiple endings 

Yeah, I like that there’s many different endings depending on what Clementine you get and who you choose to go after. I usually have Clementine come with me to get David and Gabe, which results in Kate getting killed and turning into a walker, but there are way more endings that it. I like that. 

I mean, why not give it multiple endings if you’re never gonna revisit these characters, y’know? 

2. The opening of ep1

Despite what a mess it is, ANF has the greatest opening in the entire series. Everything about it is perfect-- introducing us to Javier, finding out that his father is dead and he wasn’t around, David’s anger, his father turning into a walker and a baby Mariana wanting to bring him a cup of water, them discovering their father before he attacks..... every thing is SO DAMN GOOD.

It’s actually insane that it’s this good, because the rest of it is a mess. 

1. Javier Garcia 

Surprised? Well, you shouldn’t be. Javi’s my favorite character to come out of ANF and he’s a fantastic playable character. I love Javier Garcia more than he loves pudding, and that’s saying something. 

He’s entertaining, he loves his family, he’s strong and good with a bat, he’s got great hair, and he’s so damn likable. Oh, and bisexual. He’s canonically bisexual and that’s neat. 

We don’t talk about Javi enough. We should fix that. 

[365days365movies]

February 22, 2021: Pillow Talk (1959)(Part 1)

Y’know, I actually do like Doris Day.

She’s funny, she’s talented, and she’s a timeless beauty that I remember very well. TOO well. You guys ever have that one thing that your parents crammed down your throat SO MUCH that you got sick of it? Well, that’s what my Mom did with The Thrill of it All.

Which is, for the record, a cute movie, and one worth watching again at some point. But I’m gonna ease my way into that with Doris Day and Rock Hudson’s first movie, 1959′s Pillow Talk. 

However, while I’m not stranger to Doris Day, I’m afraid that I don’t know too much about Rock Hudson from experience. Well, there is one interesting tidbit about him: Hudson was one of the biggest stars of the ‘50s and ‘60s, and his career continued up until his death in 1985...from AIDS-related complications.

Yeah, Rock Hudson was one of the biggest gay celebrities in Hollywood, although he never publicly came out. However, it was somewhat of an open secret in the community at large, and basically all of his female co-stars know about it. 

And said secret was revealed posthumously, after his tragic death during the height of the AIDS crisis. He was by far one of the most high-profile deaths during this time period, and you’d think that would’ve caused more waves about the AIDS-crisis, considering that he was good friends with...well...another actor.

Yeaaaaaaaaah, not gonna get into Reagan and ALL OF THAT SHIT here. This here is a movie blog, not a political blog! But, uh, yeah, a LOT of fucked-up shit about Reagan and the AIDS crisis, obviously, and part of it was Rock Hudson. So, yeah, it’s something that I wanted to address before we got into this whole shindig.

Because, again, I’ve never seen a Rock Hudson movie, but dude was a pretty huge deal, and this was a part of his life that I felt it unfair not to at least acknowledge. SO, with that out of the way, let’s have a little Pillow Talk. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start with that might be one of my favorite opening sequences so far this month, which you can see above. From there, Jan Morrow (Doris Day) wakes up, humming the theme song from the credits, which is clever, considering that she sang it! Talented lady, seriously.

Jan wakes up and goes to the phone, intending to make a call. However, this is where we get a pretty stark cultural difference, and a needed history lesson for some of us, me included. See, Jan’s phone line is actually a party line, seen through this neat little visual edit.

See, this is what’s called a “party line”. From the 1870s onwards, there was a shortage of available phone lines. By the time you get to the ‘60s, more and more people had personal phones in their households, but without enough lines to go around. And so, some people were forced to share their phone lines with others, hence the party line system!

Here’s the thing, though: if somebody was on the line already, anyone else on that line could hear the conversation of other people. Which is exactly what’s pissing of Jan right now, as she needs to make a call, but the line is being used by her party line partner, songwriter Brad Allen, who’s serenading his girlfriend (?) Eileen (Valerie Allen). Not sure that they’re actually dating, but Eileen definitely wants to.

After Jan’s insistence, they get off the phone, and Jan’s able to begin her busy morning at last. Well...almost. Brad’s now talking to Yvette (Jacqueline Beer), and she wants him to sing HER song to her, which is LITERALLY just the Eileen song with a different name and in French! Which is...hilarious. It’s very funny, not gonna lie.

Once again, Jan tells him to get off the party line, and hangs up angrily. She leaves just as her cleaner woman, Alma (Thelma Ritter) arrives, fresh off of a hangover. Jan goes to try and get a line of her own, and the manager, Mr. Conrad (Hayden Rorke) makes a WEIRDLY sexist comment about jumping to the top of the list if she were pregnant. Which, yeah...weird.

Anyway, Jan, in her frustration, tells Mr. Conrad that she’s hired of sharing the line by a “sex maniac.” Mr. Conrad asks for specifics, and is AGAIN WEIRDLY SEXIST ABOUT IT. He asks if his dalliances with other women disturb her in particular. But yeah, he also says that if he is indeed a “sex maniac,” they may need to disconnect him altogether. Which has...uncomfortable undertones all on its own, but whatever, moving on.

On her way to work, Jan’s friend Jonathan Forbes (Tony Randall) shows up to bring her a STRAIGHT-UP CAR, holy shit! He’s doing so to thank her for decorating his offices (she’s an interior decorator, he’s a car dealership owner, so...fair exchange?). She insists that it’s too personal, which confuses him, as it isn’t perfume or lingerie.

But, uh, dude? IT’S A WHOLE-ASS CAR!!! Look, I’m with her on this one, don’t just give me a fuckin’ car out of the blue! I don’t care what the reason is, tell me that shit first! And Jonathan is CLEARLY trying to make it just a little more personal, if you get my meaning.

Jan finally arrives at her office, owned by Mr. Pierot (Marcel Dalio), and she tells him that an inspector has been sent to look after Mr. Allen. This inspector is Miss Dickenson (Karen Norris), and being of the wimmins, is immediately entranced by the apparently irresistible Mr. Allen, sabotaging any attempt at inspection.

The next morning, the inspector’s report comes through, and Miss Dickinson has of course cleared him of all charges. He calls her, and the two clash in a way that definitely means they’ll never, ever, ever fall in love, no sir, not these two, not a CHANCE IN HELL

They agree to make a schedule for using the phone, and Brad accuses Jan of being jealous of his free-wheeling, bed-hopping lifestyle, which she takes great offese to. But after they hang up, she thinks on the idea of having bedroom problems. Looks like Jonathan wants to fix that, on account of being the THIRSTIEST MAN ALIVE.

Dude has three three ex-wives, all of which were revolts against his mother, for which he’s seeing a psychiatrist.

...CHRIST, the man’s a walking-talking red flag. Jan also says that she doesn’t love him, like...AT THE FUCK ALL, and the man just straight-up says, “How do you know, we’ve never even kissed.” Ai which point, any normal person would see the phantom neckbeard and whip out the fuckin’ bear mace, but Jan just lets him lean in for the goddamn kiss!!!

Jan...standards, Jan. My God. Anyway, she still turns him down, he asks her to get married again, and she leaves. For God’s sakes, man. Anyway, she goes home, where Alma’s listening to Brad serenade a girl over the party line. Jan notes the time, and tells him to get off the line. He calls back, and tells her off.

Brad gets a visitor: his old college friend FUCKIN’ JONATHAN AGAIN. He bemoans being a millionaire (po’ babyyyyy), then reveals that he’s pining over Jan, whom he doesn’t know is the person on the party line with Brad. He hears a good amount of information about Jan from Jonathan.

After the conversation, Brad tries to somewhat reconcile with Jan, but she doesn’t have any interest in doing so. That night, the two have separate affairs. Brad meets up with a woman named Marie, and  serenades her with the same goddamn song from earlier, that suave motherfucker. Dude flips a switch, and the door fuckin’ LOCKS! Jesus, state-of-the-art hook-up tech of 1959.

Meanwhile Jan is attending a dinner held by an extremely client, Mrs. Walters (Lee Patrick). Needing to get home, she has her son Tony (Nick Adams) give her a ride. But on the way home, they stop and WHAT THE FUCK TONY??? I actually can’t find a clip or GIF of this, so I’ll tell you...he is ALL THE FUCK OVER HER, and it’s GROSS. CAN WE PLEASE STOP SEMI-RAPING DORIS DAY? WHAT THE FUCK, IN NO WAY IS WHAT I JUST WATCHED OK, HOLY SHIT!!!!!

Like...wow, that was the most uncomfortable I’ve felt watching a movie in a WHILE. And it’s not even because of the act itself, it’s because of how...OK it feels in the context of the film. Jan is BARELY upset by this slimy little weasely-faced rapey CREEP LITERALLY ASSAULTING HER IN THE FUCKING CAR. And in case you were wondering, yes! This film was written by FOUR MEN.

This is gross. Sorry, but this whole sequence is gross, and it gets even LONGER, because she AGREES TO GO GET A DRINK WITH HIM. WHY, JAN? STOP ENCOURAGING THIS BEHAVIOR. He tries to get her drunk (but ends up drunk himself), but she tries to leave. However, who should be sitting one table but Brad, who realizes who this is. Jan tries to leave, but Tony tries to get her to dance with him, AND SHE ONCE AGAIN AGREES, JAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!

And its during this time of distress for Brad that, OF COURSE, he finds himself extremely attracted to her. And since he knows who she is, but she doesn’t know him, he decides to fake his identity. And there we go, we’ve got a creepy-ass one-sided relationship set-up.

Meanwhile, lightweight Tony passes out on the floor, drunk as shit. Brad goes into help, putting on a take Texas accent and calling himself Rex Stetson. And OF FUCKING COURSE, she’s lost in his fuckin’ eyes. Damn those eyes, and his suave bullshit.

They shove Tony into a cab, then take his car, which appears to be too small for Brad, which makes sense, given the fact that Hudson was 6′4″, goddamn! The two take a cab, and the two reveal their mutual attraction to the audience, through their inner thoughts. Looks like all Jan needed for a relationship was handsome-ass Rock Hudson.

In her thoughts, she thinks on how honest and down-to-earth Rex Stetson seems, unlike “monsters” like Tony and Brad Allen. And OF COURSE this is how we get this started. OF GODDAMN COURSE this is how we start this relationship. Liar revealed, LIAR REVEALED, I FUCKIN’ HATE THAT GODDAMN TROPE SO MUCH

Soon after “Rex” takes her home, he goes home herself, and gives her a call, inviting her to dinner the following night. She accepts. Then, in the middle of the call, Brad pretends to pick up the line as himself, in order to set up the two identities as being separate...this is reverse You’ve Got Mail, isn’t it?

Think about it. Two people that hate each other, and they’ve never seen one another, but also love each other after meeting in person. IT’S THE OPPOSITE OF YOU’VE GOT MAIL. Ugh. Fine. Even down to the fact that he has a sizeable advantage over her, due to his full knowledge of the situation. He even tries to use his identity as Brad Allen to set-up their date the next night for success.

And it works, goddamn. A clever yet manipulative asshole, this dude is. They get on a horse and carriage, and we hear the inner thoughts of Jan, Brad, and the dude who owns the horse. And, yeah...it’s funny. The two go to dinner, where Jonathan shortly arrives. Brad gets him out of there with...mildly fatphobic means, but it is the 1950s, so things were just kinda...entirely that.

But in any case, Brad gets away with it, and he and Jan spend a hell of a lot of time together going all around the city. And the whole time, he’s playing the role of “Rex.” Ugh. This is a good halfway point, so let’s go to Part 2 here! See you there!

[kaidans-alenko]

Citadel Noire

Write the detective au you want to see in the world and I did, it kept bothering me so I sat down and decided to make it a collection of one shots because their buddy cop potential is too good. Although some how I made it a tad darker but I have a tendency to do that. 

AO3 Link

Kaidan splashed cold water on his face in an attempt to wake himself up, that brief two hour nap was the most sleep he's gotten lately and he wasn't the only one. The whole station has been sleep deprived as of late, missing persons cases usually involve more coffee than they do actual shut eye. 

"How are you doing Alenko?"  His partner Garrus asked as he leaned up against the doorway. 

"Fine, just shaking off my nap." Kaidan told him as he patted his face down with a towel.

Garrus pushed himself off the wall and walked over to him "Shepard and Taylor found something they want us to see but if you still need a moment I can go ahead." He said softly, placing a gentle hand on Kaidan's shoulder. 

"I appreciate that Vakarian but I'm okay, really I'm just tired." He told his turian partner, the dark circles under his whiskey brown eyes further adding to his statement. 

"If you're sure…" Garrus said as he watched Kaidan make a half assed attempt at fixing his tie before giving up. "Here, let me." 

Kaidan turned to him an eyebrow quirked up "No offense, but since when do you know how to tie a tie? Let alone fix one." 

"Just shut up and let me help you." 

Kaidan shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips "Be my guest." 

Garrus clumsily took a hold of the front of his tie, his talons making it harder than it had to be. Slowly he started pulling the knot in the front up his shirt to his collar. "Is that too tight?" He asked, blue eyes looking into his brown ones, making Kaidan blush at the closeness.

"No...it's perfect, thank you." Kaidan's tan skin had a light tinge of pink to it and Garrus wasn't quite sure but that's probably what humans called...blushing? Yeah that was the word Shepard used. But why was he blushing? 

"Are you sure you're feeling okay? Your face is a bit pink." Garrus pointed out, only making his human partner more flustered.

"Come on, we shouldn't keep them waiting." Kaidan said as he turned away and walked ahead of him, it could've just been the amount of time they've been spending together but his feelings for Garrus are slowly evolving from professional and bordering on romantic, it wasn’t the fact that Garrus was another man or even that he was an alien that bothered him, they were partners. It wasn’t exactly frowned upon, there was no official rule about it, if there was Jacob and Buttercup wouldn’t be together but it could get in the way of a case. If a suspect made them choose between each other or the victim things could get really complicated really quickly. Kaidan liked to think they’d both be able to make the decision to save the victim over each other but he couldn’t be sure, maybe it was time for a new partner. It’s not what he wanted, but it would be for the best. 

“What did you get?” Kaidan asked the pair of detectives, Garrus following close behind him.

“Well…” Jacob opened the holo journal, pulling up the most recent entries  “the victim’s mother stopped by with her journal, thought it might help the case.”

“And will it?” Garrus asked.

Jacob nodded “I believe so, all the entries are from the time period she went missing.” 

“Is her mother still here?” Kaidan asked.

“That she is, she wanted to stay in case we had any questions, she’s pretty hysterical but who can blame her.” Buttercup answered.

Kaidan nodded “Yeah…” he didn’t have kids himself, so he couldn’t imagine what she was going through but he was going to do everything he could to get Nef back to her. 

“Where is she now?” Garrus asked.

“Put her in an interrogation room, had Verner go get her some coffee, figured having him talk her ear off might distract her.” 

Jacob chuckled “Come on Butters, hasn’t the lady suffered enough already?” he joked as he pulled up the entry she made just a day before she disappeared. 

Nef’s face popped up on the screen, a bright smile on her face “Cycle forty-two, orbit sixty-seven. She’s going to take me to her apartment tonight! Whatever happens, I want to be with her forever.” 

“Any idea who she could be talking about?” Kaidan asked.

“None, although probably a girlfriend from the sound of it.”

“I’ll play the next one.” Jacob said, pulling up the middle entry.

“Cycle thirty-six, orbit six-hundred seventy one. Am I a freak? Morinth is a girl like me and she’s definitely not human. When we dance and the Hallex is flowing through me...the way she looks at me with a hunger, a longing….no ones ever looked at me like that, we kissed tonight.”

Buttercup looked at them “Funny, the mom didn’t mention a relationship.”

“Maybe she wanted to keep a secret, sure maybe the same sex aspect wasn’t an issue but the alien aspect could’ve been.” Kaidan said, mainly speaking from experience. His parents were extremely accepting when he came out but that was probably because they assumed he met human men, which he did, until he partnered up with Garrus and now he wasn’t too sure the reaction would be as accepting if he one day told them he was dating a turian and here he was again, fussing over things that would probably never happen anyway. 

“Only one way to find out, one of us should go question her.” Buttercup said. 

 “I can go talk to her, too many of us in there might overwhelm her.” Kaidan told her.

“Good idea, you’re better with victims then I am.” Garrus said, giving him a friendly pat on the back. 

“Agreed, we’ll stay here and see what else we can dig up and let you know.” Jacob called after him as he pulled up the last entry in her journal. 

----------

Kaidan walked into the room, Conrad and Nef’s mother Diana turning to look at him “Oh, detective Alenko, good to see you, I was just dropping off some coffee.” 

Kaidan didn’t mind Conrad too much, like the other people at the precinct he put up with him but right now his voice was a little too loud for the growing headache he had. “That’s great Conrad, thank you, I need to talk to our guests now, could you give us some privacy?” he asked, giving him the best smile he could. 

“Of course, just let me know if you need anything.” He saluted before walking out of the room, Kaidan letting out a sigh “Thanks for coming down Ms-”

“Just Diana is fine.” She told him as he took a seat across from her. 

“Okay Diana, i’m detective Alenko, I wanted to ask you some questions about your daughter if you’re up for it.” 

Diana wiped her eyes “Of course, anything to find my baby.” 

“Thank you, now in her journal she mentioned a Morinth, it sounded like they were romantically involved, to your knowledge was she seeing someone?”

“So the journal helped? Oh thank goodness!” she said on a sob “I know of Morinth yes, I wouldn’t exactly say they were in a relationship, i’ve never met her and it seemed they only hung out at Purgatory.”

Kaidan nodded as he took some notes “Purgatory...and how often did she go out?” 

“My daughter didn’t have many friends so not often, until she met her.” Kaidan got the feeling she didn’t like whoever this Morinth was and he couldn’t blame her. According to Buttercup and Jacob who talked to her first, Nef had changed drastically after meeting this mystery woman.

“She also mentioned Morinth wasn’t human, any idea what species she was?” 

“An asari.” 

That was interesting, he’d run into quite a few asari mercenaries and if that were the case they would have requested a ransom and this could've been over and done with a lot sooner. “She didn’t mention the Blue suns or Eclipse?” He knew the answer but he wanted to cover all his bases just in case. 

“Not from what I recall, no, I probably would’ve come by a lot sooner if that was the case.” she placed her head in her hands “how could this happen? I thought the Citadel was supposed to be safer than Omega.” 

If there’s one thing Kaidan has learned from this job it’s that no where is really safe, evil can be found around every corner and it’s unfortunate she learned that the hard way. “We’re going to do everything we can to find your daughter ma’am.” he wasn’t going to make any promises, it would only get her hopes up and he hated to say it but Nef was probably dead by now, he was still going to do his best to find her body, but right now their main objective was to find this Morinth and bring her in to answer for what she did to this innocent girl and her mother. 

----------

“Well…” Buttercup sighed as the four of them looked at Nef’s body “anybody surprised?” she asked.

“I want to be.” Jacob answered grimly. 

“Any idea what happened here Chakwas?” Kaidan asked.

“Physically I don’t see anything, could’ve been an overdose, i’ll know more when I get to the lab.” She answered. 

“Now onto our favorite part, which one of us is telling her mother?”Buttercup asked.

“Garrus and I can go and then will meet you at the autopsy.” Kaidan suggested.

“Sounds good to me, Buttercup?” Jacob asked, turning to look at her.

“Works for me if it works for y'all, lets go.” Buttercup liked to act like she was fine and not tired but she usually kept her accent in check, lest she confuse the translators so the fact it was slipping meant this was finally getting to her. 

Kaidan’s shoulders sagged as soon as he and Garrus were somewhat alone “I wish we found her sooner.” He said softly. 

“I know, but hopefully Chakwas will give us a lead so we can get justice for her.” Garrus placed a hand on his shoulder, jostling him a bit in an attempt to cheer him up.

“Yeah...that’s the idea isn’t it?” If it was an overdose was Morinth really responsible? Maybe she gave her one to many Hallex and panicked when Nef passed out. Not a behavior he particularly condoned but it wasn’t a murder charge. Something told him it wasn’t a simple overdose but with no obvious external injuries what could it be? He really hoped Chakwas could find something. 

[writingonjorvik]

Can We Discuss the Crafting System?

First of all, I want to give a big shoutout to @sorceressferaly on this system. We talked about in back in February for our interview how she wanted to make this system happen and I am so happy that she got this opportunity and how it turned out. I promise this won’t all be gushing, but I am so happy to got to have this project.

Second, it’s release week for the Jorvik Divined deck. Go follow @jorvegiancollective everywhere. The deck reveal is today. Go check it out!

Ok, let’s another disclaimer out of the way. After about my first 5-ish hours of playing the update, my game bugged out and I haven’t really been able to collect more materials for two-ish days now. This seems to be happening a number of folks. I have at least been chatting with Leila on feedback and bugs already, and I’m sure the team is otherwise aware, so I imagine it will be fixed by next Wednesday once they pinpoint the issue. But this means my experience with the crafting system is only from about a day or so of playing and relying on my stash of materials to get me through until the nodes’ spawn rates are fixed.

That out of the way, let’s dive into the positive. I love the simplicity of this system. It’s easy to get into and I think the tutorialization of the system was handled really well. I personally think the level requirement is a little high (even if level 10 isn’t too hard to get to), I think it would have been better to have this first onboarding crafting system open at level 5 if you’re a Star Rider after you do Farah’s quest so new crafting recipes and methods can be unlocked as level rewards at better intervals, but overall I think it’s fine. I also think that there should be material nodes in Moorland. I imagine it’s to limit free players from clogging up their inventories with supplies, but there are already nodes in Fort Pinta, so that’ll happen anyway. I think the same should be true for higher level areas, as a reward for unlocking more places, having more nodes (where it fits) so higher level players can gather supplies more effectively.

I had three nitpicks about interface though. One, is that I think a grid crafting list more like the shops would be better for recipes, particularly for the “items” crafting where the list is pretty long (and easy to expand on). The font can be kind small and having pictures would help with folks with reading impairments. Two, there needs to be a crafting in bulk option, particularly for the “items” crafting. I know Leila mentioned looking at AC:NH for inspiration on crafting for this, and the biggest complaint on that system is no crafting in bulk. Particularly as I’m unlocking higher level recipes and the number of cloths I need is going up (RIP my flax supply), I see this being a huge quality of life ask, particularly when you have to use separate benches for different recipes. I don’t have an issue with having separate crafting benches (this actually sets up the system for other “disciplines” of crafting really well) but it should streamline the process between those benches as much as possible. Which leads to three, the cutscene should only play the initial time you craft an item and it shouldn’t kick you out of the work bench. These really go into the streamlining note of have to wait and then reopen the menu each time you want to craft something instead of simplifying the process for the player.

That said, I do think this is a really strong system. I played for about 5 hours straight until I got hit with the spawn bugs and didn’t get bored until the latter end of it (which was mostly just from “I’ve been trying to grind flax for the past 3 hours”). It was a pretty chill relaxing time and I see this as a great addition to training loops and stream activities. I have concerns on the longevity of it, particularly when we start looking at people and their frustrations with Soul Riding three months out, so I hope this system gets continued support with new recipes, particularly over these next couple of months to avoid burnout like with Soul Riding. It really needs continuous support to make sure it remains a staple in the gameplay loop until there’s a wide enough catalog and that having new recipes tied with map unlocks would be a big deal.

It also has me waiting for my current ticket to clear with SSO so I can submit my Pi upgrade idea and the Hidden Star wishing well idea because this system makes those seem a little more possible. There’s a catalog now of my posts if you want to read those.

But I think the thing I’m most excited about is how this system could expand and how it could provide really good level rewards in unlocking other crafting “disciplines” when unlocking new areas or levels. Think of unlocking tailoring from Daxton in Silverglade to get classic riding equipment or blacksmithing from Conrad to learn metalworking or cooking from Olivia in New Hill. All of these could have their own recipes and ingredients that would probably need an inventory overhaul to avoid item clog, but it would add so much to do in every part of the map. Not to mention a huge variety of options for recipes and dailies.

And I don’t think it just needs to be directly crafting that this system can support. One of the big changes this system did was adding items you can collect and keep even when you log off. We’ve seen that before with the original Kalter quests and with archeology, which says to me that those systems could be seeing updates. But also, it could mean expansions to dailies. I’ve suggested before expanding the Rescue Ranch with tonics and medicines. Now you can go out and actually make those. What about going and repairing trail markers for the Rangers or bringing them supplies for the animals they’re nursing to return to the wild? My entire Pi idea is viable now without needing to pick up dailies directly.

The point is, this system is bigger than just crafting directly because of how it changes item collection. Now collections can be open-ended. It reminds me of Leila’s suggestions in our interview on how she would redo fishing, by setting up points where you can just fish and collect all kinds of things to turn in for certain rewards on certain days. With this kind of system in the game, dailies as a whole can be a lot more living world and a lot less “click the icon for money.” And I know there are bugs right now and it’s so early stage, but this is an amazing tool that I think will be the foundation of a much more immersive design philosophy with SSO.

And don’t get me starting on how this finally makes trading player viable, but we’ll get the SSO economist a break before we add that in.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Heya Steph! I was wondering, you have so many fic rec lists and read so many, do you have on or a few johnlock fics you could always reread? Like, they are that good you can read them over and over...

Hi Lovely!!

AHHHHHH ACTUALLY, I’ve made a list for this before, but you know what? IT NEEDS A PART TWO because I actually pulled a lot of fics off of it to keep it shorter, so WHEE THANK YOU for giving me a reason to share even more of the fics I ALWAYS go back and never tire of!! <3

TOP 30 READ AGAIN FICS Pt 2

See also:

Top 30 Read-Again Fics (March 2019)

Top 20 Fave 40K+ w. Fics (April 2017)

Ten Fave Short Johnlock Fics (Easy Reads April 2018)

25 Fave Johnlock One Shots (April 2018)

Top 10 Fave Fics (September 2018)

Another Top 10 Fave Fics (June 2019)

Two To Tango (The Cold Hands, Warm Heart Remix) by igrockspock (T, 1,207 w., 1 Ch. || Domestics, John Whump, Worried Sherlock) – When John is wounded while pursuing a suspect, Sherlock refuses to leave his side.

Take My Hand, Knot Your Fingers Through Mine by patster223 (K+, 2,003 w., 1 Ch. || H/C & Friendship, Whump) - "I know this is an inconvenience for you, but I would really rather you were awake right now, John." John is unconscious, and Sherlock decides to talk to him anyway. Sherlock/John pre-slash.

Let Go by thisisforyou (G, 2,743 w., 1 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious / Worried Sherlock) – In the end, separating John's things from Sherlock's in the chaos of their sitting room is like pulling a limpet from a wet rock. Especially when the rock is clinging on for dear life, because Sherlock doesn't want to let go. Short, fluffy h/c Johnlock oneshot.

And as the seasons change, I love you more by Teatrolley (NR, 3,219 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff and Angst, Est. Rel., Marriage / Proposal) – A year in the lives of John and Sherlock, essentially.

Measuring Damage With the Fujita Scale by teahigh (T, 3,548 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss / Time, Vacation / Holidays, Friends to Lovers, Bed-Sharing, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Angsty Fluff, Scars, Awkward Talks) – John goes back into town, into the storm, and Sherlock realises he forgot to say, “I just want to be alone with you.”

Last Christmas by Mazarin221b (T, 3,911 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss) – That Earth-shaking revelation, then, leads to a problem, and one that Sherlock realizes should be solved quickly, before John’s dates turn into girlfriends or boyfriends, because sometimes girlfriends or boyfriends can turn into wives or husbands while your back is turned. Every time John hums happily at the mirror as he shaves, splashes on a little gift cologne Mrs. Hudson bought him for Christmas, Sherlock is drawn back to that night by the fire, and the way John’s touch had made the world stand still.

Because Blah Blah Blah Happy by cwb (E, 4,578 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Cuddles, Kissing, First Kiss, Requited Love, Pining Sherlock) – John is entirely done with the milk situation and gives Sherlock a list of shit he's pissed about. Sherlock sets out to make John happy. John is happy. Sherlock makes his own list. They are both very, very happy.

In Which "John" Becomes a Synonym for "Help" by asignoftwo (T, 7,391 w., 1 Ch. || Injured John, Worried Sherlock, Fluff) –  After the fall Sherlock returns to Baker Street and is reunited with John. When John is injured on a case Sherlock is faced with the reality that he could lose John again, and it tears him apart.

I'm Pretty Sure This Changes Shit by cwb (E, 7,672 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Cudding, Doctor/Patient, Accidents, Pining Sherlock, Blow Jobs, Oral / Anal, BAMF John, Minor Injuries, Dev. Rel.) – Sherlock finds increasingly ridiculous ways to get John to patch him up after hurting himself.

I can’t pretend by Salambo06 (E, 7,692 w., 1 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Victor Trevor, Jealous John, Miscommunications, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Anal, BJs) – They had arrived more than a hour ago, and the moment they had walked inside the hotel reception, John had understood why Sherlock hadn’t wanted to come. Two men, posh suits and expensive watches on their wrists, had come to greet them with sharp remarks and badly hidden mockery, and John had seen red. Sherlock hadn’t said anything, mostly ignoring the two men entirely, and without thinking twice about it, John had slid an arm around Sherlock’s waist and introduced himself as his husband.

Sibling Rivalry Or Fighting Over John Watson By Jessa7 (T, 8,085 w., 1 Ch. || Romance / Humour) – Mycroft is just as much of a genius as Sherlock is. He keeps randomly kidnapping John for chats, and the locations get better. Cue Sherlock’s younger sibling complex rearing up and jealousy ensues.

High Tide by stardust_made (T, 8,540 w., 1 Ch. || Jealousy, Angst, First Kiss) – A little favour Sherlock stupidly agrees to do for Mycroft leads to John meeting a handsome, affluent man, who is going out of his way to woo him. Sherlock struggles with the situation and with his own reactions to it. Part 1 of The High Tide Series

The Newlywed Game: Johnlock Edition by patternofdefiance (E, 9,020 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Rel., Friends to Lovers, Humour, Romance, Smut) – What it says on the tin: John and Sherlock pretend to be married in order to be contestants in a Newlywed Game. Of course it's for a case. Of course it doesn't stay that way. Part 8 of I Blame Tumblr

The Devil You Know by PipMer (T, 9,300 w., 1 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Romance, Holmes Brothers, Jealous Sherlock) – The Holmes brothers are behaving oddly. John is dazed and confused. In other words, it's business as usual at 221B Baker Street. Except when it’s not.

Drive by lifeonmars (M, 9,537 w., 1 Ch. || Virginity, Awkward First Times, Minor Injuries) – John and Sherlock are stranded by the roadside, and John is injured. They need to spend the night in the back of a humvee. Sherlock is confused. John is understanding.

Their Great Reward by BeautifulFiction (T, 10,095 w., 1 Ch. || UST, First Kiss, Fluff) – Boxing day, in John's opinions, is the worst day of the year. Christmas is over, the tree is wilting and stripped of gifts, and there's a week of dead-time until the clean slate of the new year. However the combination of a blizzard, a power-cut and Sherlock might just make it a day to remember.

I Used to Live Alone Before I Knew You by etothepii (T, 11,052 w., 1 Ch. || Winglock || Angels / Demons, Supernatural Elements, Occult) – Where Mycroft is an angel, Sherlock is a demon, and John is still John.

The River Variations by withoutawish (T, 11,619 w., 1 Ch. || Soulmates, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Three Garridebs, Romance, Light Case Fic, Near Death Experience, Angst and Fluff, Dark Humour) – John Watson never knew that he wanted a ‘no toast in the mornings’ normal until he realized what an honor it is to be destroyed by Sherlock Holmes.

Pleasure to Burn by scullyseviltwin (E, 17,863 w., 1 Ch. || Firefighter AU, Firefighter John / Arson Investigator Sherlock, Slow Burn, Pining, Case Fic-ish) – “If you’d kindly stop knocking about in there and destroying all of my evidence, it would be most appreciated!” John groaned and for a moment rested his head against the side of the truck. Of course he was the only captain left on the scene, which meant he would have to be the one to deal with the arson investigator.

Checkmate to a Castled King by LaSuen (T, 18,290 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt / Comfort, Sick Sherlock, Rev. Reich.) - John dies. Or at least everyone thinks he does.

Vena Cava by SilentAuror (E, 27,452 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fix-It, Romance, H/C, Angst, Infidelity) – Sherlock has been shot in the chest; John has been shot in the heart. Though everything is broken, they do their best to heal the wounds that Mary left on them both.

Our Enthusiasms Which Cannot Always Be Explained by withoutawish (M, 32,961 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff and Angst, H/C, Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mild Gore, Sherlock Whump) – The list that is tacked haphazardly on the refrigerator of 221B reads, ‘Kidney(s), and/or a full cadaver (preferably male, late 30s, under six feet tall), bag of fresh toes, sixteen cow’s eyes (corneas retained), dual exhaust hand –held flame thrower, an unopened first edition copy of Joseph Conrad’s 'Heart of Darkness', and no less than ten abhorrently gruesome murders in the upcoming month.” The one neatly hanging next to it simply reads, “Sex.” One of these lists is not John Watson’s. If John Watson were to put what he really wanted in list form, to live in a land somewhere beyond ‘almosts' now that Sherlock Holmes has indeed returned to him, he would never be able to look his flatmate in the eye ever again.

That Partitioning of the Things of Youth by wearitcounts (E, 35,353 w., 7 Ch. || Humour and Angst, Post-TRF, Fake Relationship, UST / RST, Friends to Lovers, Jealous John) – Victor Trevor is in town, and nobody's happy.

The Boy Who Drank Stars by kinklock (E, 36,157 w., 4 Ch. || Howl’s Moving Castle AU || Witches and Wizards, Slow Burn, Magic, Jealous John, Happy Ending, Bed Sharing) – “I’m looking for a castle,” John informed the scarecrow. “A moving one.”Except that, as it turned out, it was not a moving one at all.

A Week is Just Seven Days Isn't It? by scifigrl47 (T, 39,906 w., 4 Ch. || Humour, Friendship/Bromance, Stroppy/Bored Sherlock, Undercover/Army John, Texting, Pining-ish Sherlock, John Whump) – When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock's forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don't worry, things'll be fine in just seven days.

There's Someone On Your Shoulder by halloa_what_is_this (NR, 41,215 w., 6 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Introspection, Daydreams, Sherlock Loves John So Much it Hurts) – Sherlock trips and falls head over heels in love, makes a lot of lists and stares, stares, stares.

The Norwood Love Builders by flawedamythyst (T, 47,798 w., 9 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Slow Burn, Post TRF Angst) – Sherlock and John go undercover to solve the murder of Joanna Oldacre, but things are complicated by the many feelings John has been repressing in the wake of Sherlock's faked death and return.

The Green Blade by verityburns (T, 72,929 w., 15 Ch. || Casefic, Bromance) – As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit...

Breakable by MissDavis (E, 117,627 w., 34 Ch. || Established, Fluff/Angst, Depression, Paralysis, Happy-ish Ending) –After John is seriously injured, Sherlock struggles to figure out how to help him, keep himself sane, and maybe, just maybe, get their life back to the way it's supposed to be. Part 1 of Breakable Not Broken

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

[fallout4treasures]

I’m bored. Here are my actor choices for a Fallout 4 movie.

I don’t think it’s everyone, but it still took me all day.

I tried to keep them in a rough order of appearance.

Also, I based Nate and Nora off of the games’ preset. However, if I were actually casting a movie, I would just have open auditions. But anyway, here we go.

Nate:

Milo Ventimiglia

It was between him and Jensen Ackles. But honestly, I already had my Nora choice in my heart and I could just see Milo and her running to the vault in a panic together. If that’s not enough I saw Nate in him instantly. The widowed soldier desperately looking for his son in the annihilated future. Plagued with nightmares, but he would still stay warm and uplifting. Milo + Jumpsuit + Dogmeat = Yes, please.

Nora:

Anne Hathaway

Anything I say about her won’t do her justice. First off, she’s easily one of the most talented actors of all time. From the Princess Diaries to Les Miserables, she has proved time and time again that she can be anyone she wants to. Could she be a full-of-life but grief ridden mother, making new friends and enemies while shooting her way through the Commonwealth to find her kidnapped child? In her fucking sleep. Plus her presence would be plenty strong enough to stand up to any of the rest of our star studded, “would-be” cast.

Codsworth & all the Mr. Handy bots(voice):

Tim Curry 

I just want to see it, I have no other excuse.

Conrad Kellogg:

Christopher Meloni

I kept wanting to go with Jeffery Dean Morgan, but I just didn’t think I could learn to hate that face the way I hate Kellogg’s. But then once I thought of Christopher there was no other choice. He can do the voice and the terrifying, non-emotional thing with no issue. (His character seriously got to me in Handmaid’s Tale.) But he could also be relatable enough to actually feel for Kellogg while diving through his memories. 

Preston Garvey:

John Boyega

I had definitely forgotten about John when I was browsing through. My husband and I actually discussed him versus Donald Glover for awhile. In the end we decided that Boyega’s Preston would have a stronger stoic side as well as the fun loving friend. I think he would effortlessly display Preston’s disappointment in the Minutemen, as well as his survivor’s guilt.

Sturges:

Chris Pratt

This part is way too small for Chris nowadays, but I really think he could fall into Sturges’ carefree 50’s mechanic vibe. Plus I could see him throwing in a new sarcastic side to him that could be fun. If not, then I think he would still take him on perfectly, line for line.

Mama Murphy:

Helen Mirren

She’s powerful. She’s gorgeous. I would almost be afraid she would steal from anyone else on screen with her. And yet, it’s the surreal power that’s needed to make Mama Murphy a real life character. So there ya go. 

Paladin Danse:

John Krasinski

Have you seen him in Jack Ryan? I really think he could embody Danse, heart and soul. From his hardened and serious outsides to his soft, broken, and vulnerable insides. He would play the soldier with so much heart, and would probably have us sobbing when he struggles over his new identity. (Me being in love with both of them has absolutely nothing to do with it. Nothing at all.) Plus him in a flight suit. Nuff said.

Piper Wright:

Kat Dennings

First off, she’s freaking gorgeous. Second, I think Piper’s fiery personality would fit her like a glove. Plus she would take on the role of Nat’s big sister perfectly. If you’ve seen her in Thor then you already know she makes an excellent side-kick and adds some great comic relief.  

Mayor McDonough:

Alec Baldwin

I jumped around a lot with this one. I even considered people like James Spader and Jack Nicholson (too old, I know). But then I remembered Alec’s ability to lay on the cheeeeeese. I have no doubt he could handle McDonough’s suspicious but seemingly normal character, and transitioning into his manic and desperate attempt to stay alive. Plus, he would nail his “I am not a synth!” speech, finding the perfect balance of creepy and welcoming.

Ellie Perkins:

Ellie Kemper

She has an adorable, scrappy, and loving personality that glows every time she’s on screen. I don’t think I’ve seen her in anything serious, personally, but I bet she’d be up for the challenge. Especially to fill the role for someone cute and spunky like Ellie. 

Nick Valentine:

Liev Schreiber

I really, really struggled with this one. Obviously CGI and other special effects would have to happen no matter what, but whoever I chose still had to have those serious eyes, warm and friendly smile, and that old Boston gumshoe voice. Cue Liev. He’s probably a touch young, but if we’re already using CGI anyway so who cares.

Elder Arthur Maxson:

Tom Hardy

I don’t even feel the need to explain myself here. Venom. That’s all I’ll say.

X6-88: 

Michael B. Jordan

As sweet as his smile is, I feel like the minute Jordan pulls on a stone cold look, blood would drain the face of whoever was playing opposite of him. However he would easily be able to add the oddly comforting touch X6 has when he watches over the Sole Survivor. 

Desdemona:

Laura Prepon

Her commanding and sexy vibe in everything she plays is absolutely perfect. At least for me. She’s a bit young, but I think it would be easy enough to age her up. She would naturally become the leader of the Railroad, and would totally scare the piss out of everyone in her way.

Deacon:

Ryan Alosio 

Yep, the man himself. He’s got the look, the charisma, and he can obviously do Deac’s iconic voice. Don’t fix what’s not broken. If you’re not convinced, watch this very impressive reel of his. Or do it anyway because DAMN. It was shameful how quickly I fell in love. 

https://www.imdb.com/video/vi3911957785?ref_=nmvi_vi_imdb_1

Tinker Tom:

Anthony Mackie

Tom has a whole lot of energy to keep up with. I pushed him off to one of the last ones I chose because he is just so unique, and I actually needed my husband’s opinion. We finally settled on the talented and energetic Anthony. He’s goofy, absolutely lovable, and would probably have way too much fun playing into the crazy conspiracy bits.

Father(Old Man Shaun):

Gary Oldman

I feel bad not giving this brilliant actor a bigger role. His chameleon ability could land him almost anything here, but his soft but strong voice is literally perfect for Father’s. Just age him up a bit and he’ll melt into the role like with everything he doeswewse. He would make the reunion with Shaun 1000x more intense and emotional, and I could see him almost convincing all of us to join the Institute. I mean, it’s Gary fucking Oldman.

(Side Quest Characters)

John Hancock:

James Franco 

I actually couldn’t believe I hadn’t put this together before. I’m starting to wonder if Hancock was actually written for James. Super chill, but not scared to get shit done. Including taking care of Finn in the most casual and Godfather way possible within the first few moments of meeting him. Then afterward he would take some chems with Sole and talk about life for awhile. I’m totally okay with this idea.

Robert MacCready:

James Marsden 

I’ll be honest, I have never played with MacCready before. I had to watch some videos to get a feel for it but in the end I feel like I found a solid choice. I know he’s “pretty” but throw on some scruff, dirt, and a green cap and he’s there. Think Westworld.

Cait:

Karen Gillan

Cait can kick my ass any day, and that’s how I feel about Karen. They are both just so breathtakingly badass. Any sole survivor would struggle to keep from lusting after her, and then caring deeply as they worked through her drug addiction. 

Curie:

Mélanie Laurent

Both Curie and Melanie are just innocently stunning and can light up a room with a smile. Curie would be especially difficult because not only is she gorgeous, but she’s almost always the smartest one in the room, but I think Melanie could do her justice.

---

So there is our very expensive cast list!

There’s a lot here that I feel on the fence about but this was still a lot of fun to do. I’m sure there are other actors that I have forgotten that could take on these characters too, so let me know what you would have done differently!