#Anyways. TY FOR THE ASK AGAIN MWAH

[candycryptids]

Send 💄 to see them in their going-out attire for Tuesday!!

So I DID do Tuesday's Going Out Attire a little bit before [Here] So I went ahead and had another crack at it for fun, showing off Tuesday's Beach-Day-Out kinda clothes. He's not much for splashing in the surf but it's a lovely day at the Moonfire Faire with the guy he likes :3 .... It's just strawberry juice. Tuesday's hands aren't shaking at all when he wipes a bit off of Haurchefant's mouth. He's fiiine haha. Haha.

[XIV Screenshot Meme!]

[harbingersglory]

Thoughts on transfem Ningguang with a fem!reader whose her bodyguard? Fem!reader whose like a loyal, protective dog out in the world when they're out and about together, but an utter submissive puppy behind closed doors for the Tianquan?

literally shaking like a chihuahua oh what i'd do to be the Tianquan's lap dog..mean femmes are so attractive its like putting my brain in a blender.

It's not surprising the Tianquan has a bodyguard. She's a key political figure in Liyue and anyone aiming to dismantle the carefully curated hierarchy has her at the top of the list. To the public, your just muscle to intimidate the lesser crooks from even thinking about it and deal with those who get too bold.

Behind closed doors, though? Your nothing but the Tianquan's lap dog at her beck and call.

She isn't fond of public displays, but she does like hiding it in public just for the thrill. Knowing you wear your collar under your uniform so you'll always remember who holds your leash is a thrill she can't beat.

She's a bit mean and sadistic, really, but she's the Tianquan. She has the money to spoil you like a good puppy afterwards..so long as you behave and exceed expectations. Whether you lean more dominant or submissive doesn't matter, since you'll probably be subbing whether your top or bottom. It's a different kind of thrill to make you sit on her lap, stuffed full of her cock, while she works. That or she has you under her desk, one hand fisted in your hair while she uses your mouth instead.

She has to be at the top of her game, after all, and her position is a stressful one. What better way to de-stress then to put her little puppy to good use? You're just so pliant when she orders you on your knees.

She keeps it tame if thats more your thing, but if you give her the go ahead she will buy you muzzles. Some just the standard muzzle, others with gags, plenty of collars and leashes for all sorts of occasions..she might even get you faux ears and a tail just for a little finishing touch.

She's just as big on aftercare, though. She puts her money to good use spoiling you, partially because she knows she can get a little rough with you. That and as much as she likes to call you her puppy, she won't have you smelling like a wet dog. Get in the bath.

You won't stay clean for long, especially because she absolutely goes all out on her tub so it's more then big enough for some extra activities, but it's better then nothing.

Sometimes, though, she just needs to be pampered herself. She adores body worship after a particularly stressful day. Just lounging in half tied silk while you worship every inch of her.

And if anyone notices you limping the morning after..they say nothing. They just chalk it up to a fight with some assassin or similar. And if they do know, they know better then to bring it up.

Bonus for being shared with Beidou when she drops by Liyue harbor. Nothing like a rowdy pirate to shake things up and make a mess of you on the Tianquan's bed while she watches.

[sugarsnappeases]

GIVE US QUILLKILLER THOUGHTS!!!!!!

i would be delighted to!!! i’ll try to say things we (@quillkiller and i, we’re conjoined) haven’t said before lol…. please be warned. this post got LONG (lots more under the cut)

so for me the general trajectory of the quillkiller relationship is devotion -> betrayal -> haunting (and the devotion and haunting are sort of synonymous, no? different shapes of the same undying love) so i’ll try to follow that trajectory in this post too

so. Devotion. we’ve said before that a big part of bella’s character is her need to devote herself to something. she’s a follower at her core, and before she meets voldemort, she finds this in rita. rita who’s mean and nasty and genuinely believes she deserves to be worshipped (major god complex). bella who wants to worship her, wants to give her everything, wants to give herself up to rita like an offering, a sacrifice.

and it digs deep into the both of them, this devotion, claws its way into the marrow of their bones until they can’t let each other go. they’re in different hogwarts houses and come from what feels like different worlds but bella’s sneaking into the ravenclaw common room at night, they’re passing notes in class, exchanging looks in the great hall, meeting up in secret nooks and crannies. bella is getting married but rita is the journalist at the wedding, kissing her before she walks down the aisle, sneaking off to fuck in one of the side rooms later. bella sending patronuses like ‘come over’ or just showing up at rita’s flat, clinging onto each other even when they know they probably shouldn’t and that it can’t last and that it’ll have to end at some point, taking as much of each other as they can get bc they know that it can’t be forever and they didn’t even think it would last this long… i imagine them waking up together like this:

and the thing is!! there’s so much love. so so so much love. like even w bella married and everything, that’s never an issue at all. they’re happy, they have fun and they make each other laugh and they love each other so so much and so so well even if they both think that’s it’s ultimately gonna fall apart. and that brings us to Betrayal.

it’s the idea that both of them are selfish and obsessive and cruel but before they’d always been all of these things together. but bc they are these things and bc they’re always pushing each other and challenging each other and making each other more, they’re always, inevitably, gonna cross a line that the other cannot. for rita, this is her article, and for bella, this is her dark mark.

and to me, their respective betrayals happen kinda concurrently, like either one of them could happen first, but they don’t fully fall apart until both of them have happened bc, for example, if the article happened first, bella wouldn’t forgive rita (it’s disloyalty and bella can’t understand or forgive it bc she’s unendingly loyal <- another core bella trait) but bc of the disconnect there, the way they both can’t quite understand how unforgivable what they’ve done is to the other, i don’t think rita would necessarily see a huge issue. like they’ve fought before and it hasn’t been final and if rita called, bella would still show up, ofc she would. and vice versa. if the dark mark debacle happened first, rita can’t forgive her for that (bc no matter how morally reprehensible she is, rita can’t justify or support genocide and doesn’t understand how bella thinks she could), but if bella called, rita would go.

that’s them one betrayal in ^^ (i.e. rita post bella’s mark showing up at lestrange manor bc bella called. or bella post rita’s article showing up at rita’s flat bc she called). and they need both the betrayals to happen to be fully over (and obvs both the betrayals are inevitable bc of who they are and the circumstances they find themselves in even if they’re trying so hard to cling onto each other). i think by the time of both the betrayals, they’re already hanging on by a thread - hanging on so so tight, don’t get me wrong, but things are already falling to pieces, they just haven’t noticed yet, or haven’t let themselves notice yet.

it’s been building and building bc they both want everything, they want to have their cake and eat it too, selfish and hungry and wanting, that eventually they cross they line and it all falls down. they lose their ‘one good thing’ (<- bella says this about rita), they lose the woman that they still love, the only woman they ever have and ever will love, bc they just kept pushing for more:

and it’s both of their faults but they blame each other and hate each other and love each other just the same and they don’t realise that the closest they ever were to everything they ever wanted was when they were together. until later. thus. the Haunting.

and i have a lot of visual aids (quotes) for this part lol. this spans the rest of their lives, and i tend to mostly consider it from rita’s pov bc she’s not in azkaban and a lot more mentally present and also lives a lot longer so i think it’s more tragic for her (bella is also very much tragic but i will say that by the end of her time in azkaban, she’s really not much more than a shell of herself and she would’ve had most of her happy memories (a large part of which are w rita) sapped from her by the dementors and therefore it’s hard to say how much capacity she would’ve had for being haunted, being as, in and of herself, she would’ve been little more than a ghost x)

we’re gonna kinda gloss over everything here bc i have lots to say and this is already so so long but i have quotes that refer to a) rita’s general existence after the break up:

(obvs we're referring to her articles here. and just everything she writes in general. and everything she does. and everything she is.)

b) rita after bella breaks out of azkaban in 1996, and she sees her on the cover of the daily prophet:

and c) basically just rita for the rest of her life. forever. til the day she dies (this quote makes me a little insane...... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!):

IT IS MY KNIFE AND MY HEART TOO!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! anyway i'm gonna stop talking here bc i've rambled on for far far too long (although i have more to say if anyone wants... i'll always have more to say about them i think) but for now!! i'll love you and leave you with a few links to posts/fics that i think vaguely encapsulate our quillkiller conception (and by that i mean reccing jen's fics and a couple other things i've said):

life-changing fic 1 (rita writing bellatrix's obituary) | thing i wrote (unsent letter from r to b after azkaban break-out) | life-changing fic 2 (bella visiting rita post-azkaban break-out) | thing i wrote (another kinda quillkiller thesis...) | life-changing microfic (nsfw, that good old bellatrix black devotion)

[triona-tribblescore]

TIONA TIONA MA GOING FERAL OVER YOUR NEW AU OH HOW I LOVE SPIRITS AND STUFF LIKE THAT AND MIKEY POWER IN A MISTERY? OH THE PLOT TRIONA MA FAKING DANCING ON THE FLOOR AND EATING YOUR BOOTS YOU CAN NOT MAKE ME GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE NOW I WILL BE HERE FOREVER AND OH MY GOD I JUST REMEMBERED AGAIN THAT I STILL HAVE TO READ YOUR PIRATE COMIC RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'M SO FAKIN' FORGETFUL, AM GONNA READ IT WHEN I WILL HAVE TIME AND I FAKIN' PROMISE YOU YOU'LL HAVE A FAKING SPAM OF HEARTS AND I WILL TALK IN YOUR COMENTS MAYBE I'LL SCREAM IN YOUR ASK BOX TOO IF YOU DON'T MIND ME DOING SO MY GOD AM GONNA DIE WITH YOUR STUFF RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU ARE SO CREATIVE AND YOUR ART IS SO NICE TO THE EYE AM GONNA BRAKE ONE OF YOUR CHAIRS NOW *RUNS TO THE KITCHENS AND NOMNOMS THE LEG OF THE FIRST CHAIR THAT SHE SEES* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KREDENAAAA!!!! <33333 STOPP AWH HJBFBJEB UR HYPE AND SUPPORT MEANS SO MUCH IM HUGGING YOU AND EATING THE CHAIR WITH YOU :'D

*throws you into a pile of hearts*

[gingerpeachtea]

❓ & 😍 for the ask game MWAHH

(wip & published fics ask game!)

MWAHHHH TY FOR THE ASKKKK <3333 ILY

❓ any WIP snippet you want!

HIIIII snippet from laurel grief fic 2: Gareth’s anxious expression gave way to despair; his face fell and his shoulders sank, melting at the sight of her. He didn’t say anything, just closed the door behind him and the distance between them, and wrapped his arms tight, let her hide her face in his shoulder and huff out shuddering breaths against his neck.

😍 published lines or a section of a fic that you loved writing?

physically restraining myself from posting an excerpt from when memories snow or trial by fire bc i always answer w those fics when it comes to questions like these. like sorry but i do in fact have favorite children. anyways this bit from run the tap 'til it's clear!!!!:

i just remember this fic sitting at 900 words unfinished for months, feeling like there was something missing, and wanting to involve mike's addiction recovery in some way but never really knowing how to put that kind of daunting, abstract concept to paper. and then i wrote that first sentence and everything immediately, rapidly fell into place!!! imagine me at like. some freakish hour past midnight sickos cackling at my laptop in the dark and rubbing my hands together like an evil fly. yeah

[jovenshires]

OH MY GOD hello hi i was the spourt anon from earlier and ☹️☹️☹️ ur fic was so good omg i love the way u write ur fics hit everytime 🤞 im so happy to have another spourtney fic especially from one of my favorite fic authors

omg hello welcome to psychic smoshblr you are a member now ! i woke up to a spourt fic ask and was like........ how did they know......... anyway ty so so much thats so sweet and im so honored <3<3<3 it was just a lil thing but it was about time i hit someone else with my established relationship domestic intimacy ray. more spourt coming from me in the future probably bc they were so fun to write !

[maxlarens]

MV: YUCK! ⭐ part one

pairing(s): max verstappen x photographer!reader

summary: your aesthetic interest in max verstappen is purely professional, you swear.

fc: daisy edgar jones

a/n: hiiii this is my first attempt at an f1 fic so i hope y’all like it!! might turn this into a series idk? feel free to send me a req or a suggestion or just a message🫶🏻 my inbox is always open (fr now i turned on asks) (also daniel is at redbull in this 🙏🏻 prayer circle w me guys 🥲🕯️) (partially inspired by yuck by charli xcx)

⭐️ next part

(instagram)

@ynusername just posted…

tagged @maxverstappen1 @redbullracing

liked by @maxverstappen1, @danielricciardo and others

ynusername maxie in miami 🏎️💦 as usual thank you redbull for having me out!!! looking forward to the next one where i will once again be standing 100m away from max until he forgets i’m there and acts natural for the camera.

user1 uhhh wait why he kinda… 🥵

⤷ user1 and i don’t even fuck with cars like that

⤷ user2 no right like who even is this?

⤷ user3 @user1 @user2 His name is Max Verstappen. He’s a driver for RedBull in Formula 1!

user4 MAXIE!?? UR KIDDING!!

⤷ user5 we’re losing the idgaf war

user6 THE SECOND PIC. GOING INTO CARDIAC ARREST LITERALLY AS WE SPEAK.

redbullracing 🥵💦 (❤️ by @ynusername)

⤷ user7 she liked. are yn and max together?

⤷ user8 @user7 highkey i think shes just employed by them

⤷ user9 @user7 she’s been one of redbulls photographers since they signed max, they’re not together they’re just friends

user10 RAHHHHHH

user11 contender for white boy of the month i dare say😋

danielricciardo Fuck me

⤷ maxverstappen1 Fuck off

⤷ danielricciardo 😬

danielricciardo Yn why don’t you take slutty photos of me?!

⤷ ynusername cos ur always talking ur head off babes

⤷ ynusername max broods. easier to take pics that way.

⤷ ynusername and they’re not SLUTTY!

⤷ maxverstappen1 Exactly, Daniel.

user12 okay so why is her feed 70 percent max? isn’t she a redbull photographer? not a max verstappen photographer?

⤷ user13 its like a known issue. she clearly prefers one of them over the other🫤

(yn’s messages)

(twitter)

(instagram)

🔒 @ynpersonal just posted…

liked by @ysistersuser, @maxverstappen1 and others

ynpersonal anyway 😐 me lately

user1 gorgeous gal! don’t listen to the weirdos

⤷ ynpersonal ty babe love u lots! xx

ysistersuser MWAH LOVE U BIG SISSY

⤷ ynpersonal LOVE U TOO LITTLE SISSY

⤷ ysistersuser 🙂🫵🏻 boyliker

⤷ ynpersonal 😐 so annoyed at u

⤷ ynpersonal still love u tho ig

user2 slay! 🫶🏻

⤷ ynpersonal slay!!! 🫶🏻

danielricciardo Okay so hypothetically…

⤷ ynpersonal hypothetically ur a dickhead daniel

⤷ danielricciardo Hypothetically?

⤷ maxverstappen1 Why are u fighting

⤷ ynpersonal no reason, dan is an asshole

⤷ danielricciardo 👀

user3 When are you visiting home again?? Miss u🤭🫶🏻

⤷ ynpersonal soon i promise!! ill text u!

maxverstappen1 Nice pants

⤷ ynpersonal thank u maxie 🙈 (❤️ by @danielricciardo, @maxverstappen1 & @ysistersuser)

📸 ahhhh okay well sound off if you want another part for this. though i think that is probably coming regardless. but yea this is my first f1 fic and my first smau in a longggg time so pls let me know what u think! i’d love love to hear❤️

✨ next part

[sheepispink]

no pressure but aaaa i really love the ghost & lower rank reader thing you wrote 🥺 will there be a part 2?

no pressure + take care of yourself mwah

it’s not a chapter by chapter thing but there will be multiple parts, anyway here’s the next one, bit shorter but there’s a longer one coming after this :)

also tagging @alexinmirrorland for support on the last one :D

and ty to @pythonmoth for the codenames teehee

i forgot to mention that the last one was intended for fem reader but if anyone wants gen neutral or male reader lmk i can make alternate ones 🤝🤝

part 1

——-

The grueling part of work is over, which leaves you and your teammates sitting in the corner of the mess, scoffing down whatever crappy food they’re serving today. There’s plenty of people about, but thankfully not so much that you have to shout just to hear each other.

“So, who are your roommates?” One girl, codename ‘Beetle’, asks after finishing her food, now she leans on the table expectantly. Two of the guys weren’t here when the fire happened, on a small training course and had returned to be immediately placed in a random superior’s room.

“Sergeant Sanderson.. He’s very quiet.” One guy—aka ‘Meatball’— says, chewing down on a bread roll as he holds his cup up in his other hand, ready to chug down the water next. Meanwhile, boy beside him, Vulture, rolls his eyes, believing he’s exaggerating. “It’s true! I don't even hear him leave or enter–I think that’s why they call him Roach.”

The rest of you giggle around the table at that, the codename nothing short of silly despite your own ones, especially when the two idiots are squabbling over whether it’s true or not. “Yeah well that’s nothing, mine opens the curtains at five am every morning–even on weekends. Plus he sprays his cologne everywhere.” Vulture argues, until Beetle turns to you, looking at you curiously. “Who's your roommate? I haven't even heard you complain once, not even in training.”

Everyone turns their attention to you, whose face is still stuffed with the chicken leg you were devouring. “Umm..” You swallow down the last bite, swallowing some water before you end up choking aswell. “It’s Lieutenant Riley. He’s okay.”

“A lieutenant?” Both boys look at you in shock, unbelieving that you’d been paired with a lieutenant of all people, all while she looks at you confused. “Who even is that though? I’ve never heard of him.”

“Oh, right— it’s skull mask. Ghost?”

The table falls silent, mostly because their jaws are dropped, in both horror and shock. “You’re joking, right? You wouldn’t be alive right now if you weren’t”

“I’m not joking” You scoff out, chowing down on the bread roll now and making all your words mumbles. “Why would I even lie about that?”

The three share glances with each other, suspicious ones at that. Of course every damn rookie knows the reputation of him, moreso the stories that have been told about him.

“Prove it.”

—------------------------------------------------------

“Just because he’s my roommate doesn’t mean I'm not just as scared of him as everyone else–this is evil!” You whisper shout as they pull you down the halls, two of them restraining your arms.

”Well we all know you’re lying, so just confess before we make you prove it.” Meatball huffs, tugging your sleeve along even as you squirm again, now trying to gain sympathy points from Beetle instead.

“You believe me right? I’m not lying!”

You almost stumble over your own feet when you come to a stop outside the gym, looking around in confusion before you spot the familiar mask on one of the men walking across the room. “Go on then. Prove it.”

“What? I’m supposed to just go up to him and say ‘hi roomie’?”

“No– obviously not– just ask him a stupid question or something!”

Before you can argue, she shoves you towards the gym doors and you stiffly enter, swallowing sharply as you watch the Lieutenant walk back to the machine he was using, near a sergeant you’re pretty sure is in his team. But it’s not just any sergeant–no– it’s John Mactavish himself, codenamed Soap. The youngest to join the SAS and hell, everyone you know talks nothing but praise about him. You turn back in a moment of desperation, but your friends have dispersed already, heading towards the supply closet so they can ‘retrieve training equipment’. Damn them. So now you stand in the middle of the gym, torn between actually walking up to them or just living you life being framed as a supposed liar or worse—an attention seeker.

Fate decides its course for you because a bunch of soldiers come for the post-lunch rush, causing you to step out of their way. Of course, you end up stumbling awkwardly over to where Ghost is benching a lot more weight than you could ever handle. “What’re you doing here?” The question catches you off guard and you immediately snap your head towards where he eyes you, not hesitating as he brings the bar lower to his collarbone and then pushes it up to sit on the holder. He sits upright again, still staring, but thankfully Soap has gone elsewhere—likely to refill his bottle or something.

“Uhh.. I have a question.” You glance to the right, wondering if you could somehow make a run for it, but you immediately make eye contact with the three idiots that set you up for this, their glares insistent.

“Don’t got all day, y’know” He huffs, lifting his mask a smidge to wipe his face with the towel.

“What’s your favourite Haribo?”

You really need to get better at what you blurt out because of all of the possible questions you could’ve asked him, even just asking where a piece of equipment was, you had bloody asked him what his favourite gummy was. His eyes narrow in your direction, and you’re convinced it might even be a glare considering that was a very reasonable response to wasting someone’s time.

Unfortunately, it was far worse than any of the possibilities you considered. “Eh? Terrorising the rookies without me?” You freeze, immediately recognising the Scot’s accent, and Ghost seems to read you easily, given that he crosses his arms over his chest, staring straight at you. “My roomate.” He hums, gesturing before turning his attention back onto you. “Go on, repeat it.”

“I- uh– I was just asking the Lieutenant what his um, favourite..Haribo was..” You force each word out, already expecting to be sent to the track for ten laps at this point. Soap smiles at you, lips curling into a sliver of a grin or rather a smirk but he reins it in, tapping his finger against his chin pensively. “Eggs are arguably the best. I’d fight ye on that.”

“Gummy bears.” Ghost plainly states, and you’re ready to give them a thumbs up and run out when Soap nods along in agreement, leaning in just slightly to you.

“This ones a real sadist. Eats the legs off first, then the hands.” For a second, you’re confused, or rather slightly unnerved by his statement though you're not too sure why. Maybe it’s because his elbow is gently nudging yours, or the fact that they look like they’re going to eat you alive. Either way, Ghost nods along to the words, not denying the claims in the slightest. “Bites the head of last. Real cinematic.”

You laugh a little, just for the sake of it, but Ghost stands again, grabbing his bottle in his hand. “I like my sweets the way I like my interrogations. Head off last.”

Now you just stare at the both of them, Soap’s hum of agreement and then the silence that follows. Surely it was a joke, right? You’ve heard rumours before, knew it was probably exaggerated, but now you were getting second doubts the longer they looked at you blankly. Soap’s face is dead straight, staring at you as you blink like an idiot.

“Right. Thanks for the answer.” You nod, a weak smile on your lips, though your face grows paler with each second they refuse to make any reaction apart from a small nod. As soon as Soap turns his head, you make a dash for it, your friends who eavesdropped looking equally as disturbed by the interaction. Soon you all leave the room, silence filling the space between all of you.

Back at the gym, Ghost snorts before patting the Scot on the back and settling himself on the bench again. “Good one mate. I’ll tell ya if she pisses the bed tonight.”

——————

Lmk if the codename thing is weird, not so much the actual names but like using codenames yk? I feel like its easier than calling extra#1 amy or sumthin LOL

oh and do lmk if you wanna not be tagged idm i just figured

[pboogerswbb]

TOO LOST IN YOU - pt II

Paige Bueckers x bartender!oc

Warnings: toxic!paige, language, some sexual thoughts but no smut in this one (sorry guys), paige is an asshole fr

Wordcount: 4.9k (sorry)

A/N: i got so much love and so many people asking for more after the first part <3 ty all i'm so grateful! this will likely be around 7 parts so please buckle up lol. ALSO I'M SORRY FOR NO SMUT but let me cook guys it'll get good. the point of this part is to get inside paige's head and understand why she is the way she is, things will speed up in the next part i swear. OK GO READ ILYSM MWAH

-

It’s hard being Paige Bueckers. Not every 23-year-old had to deal with the kind of pressure I did. Most of the time it felt like the whole world was watching me, waiting for me to fail. It used to bother the shit out of me but after all the injuries, everything I’ve been through, I thrived on it. I knew I would prove them wrong - prove that I’m great, that I’m me. Just like my dad would tell me, over and over again. I knew I was great, so greatness was expected. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t come with a great deal of pressure. I always said pressure is a privilege. But sometimes when I lay in bed alone after a game, even a win, the pressure consumed me. I didn’t like to be alone. So I went around different girls’ beds, like they meant nothing. Because they didn’t - they were just a distraction from my own mind. Like I said, it’s hard being Paige Bueckers - hard being me.

“You okay babe?”

I’m shaken out of my thoughts, returning back to earth, back to the small bed I was lying in. The brunette next to me nuzzles her nose into my arm, watching me with that look I knew too well. Like she wanted something from me. I hated when girls looked at me like that.

I clear my throat, trying not to flinch as she wraps her arm around me. “Yeah Zoe, ‘m fine,” I murmur, letting her press herself to my side, her body sticky from our prior activities. Zoe was a cuddler, so she was usually last on my roster. It’s hard to plan your escape when a girl clings to you like a koala and worst of all, wants to sleep like that all night. I never got that, cuddling while sleeping. It gets hot, sweaty and cramped, I find it hard to believe anyone actually enjoys it. People just think they do because they’re in love or something. And I can’t afford to be in love. I had a natty to win.

Zoe’s slender finger brushes through my blonde hair and I can feel that claustrophobic, uncomfortable tightness inside me. Like I had to get out. Her dorm was dim and the air was heavy and slightly humid from the second round I had insisted on. The sheets stuck to my skin uncomfortably and her bed made this annoying sound everytime I moved or even breathed.

I turn my gaze to Zoe who’s looking at me, all googly eyed. Oh God. She smiles wide and presses a kiss to my cheek. The scent of her shampoo lingers in the air, the smell of banana and some kind of citrus. I had never liked banana scented things.

“Uh, anyway that was fun,” I mumble, and sit up on the bed, forcing her off me as gently as I could. “But I got practice early,” I add, reaching for my t-shirt and throwing it on.

I don’t notice the offended look on Zoe’s face. I grab my phone from the floor, checking my texts urgently.

Yo you tryna do a lil sum tonight?

I know ur not workin sooo we could have a lil fun like we did the other day

Valerie?

I sigh, feeling the knot in my stomach tighten as I stare at the read receipt underneath the texts. I tap on the back of my phone case impatiently, wondering if sending a fourth text would make me pathetic. Maybe I should just call her? Nah, I must be trippin.

Since I met her at Ted’s, Valerie was the first I called when being in my bed alone was tearing up my mind. But it didn’t mean anything, she was good in bed, good at making me forget who I was when I needed to. Also, I liked how she smelled, like coconut. And when she tangled her legs with mine I didn’t shutter or pull away. Sometimes I even wrapped my arm around her, pulling her into me. Not because I needed her. But because her body felt good against mine.

“Aw baby really?” Zoe whines in an overtly soft voice, wrapping the blanket around her as she scoots up on the bed. Her plump bottom lip, swollen from the rough kissing earlier turns into a pout. I quickly avoid her gaze, my eyes landing right onto the floor looking for my pants. “I wanted to cuddle.” Figures.

“I know baby, me too,” a lie, she would never know that though. “Can’t keep my hands off you if I stay tho and I need some sleep.” I lie more, never looking at her. She buys it though, like she does every time. It’s not like I liked to lie, but I also didn’t like disappointing people. Especially girls that looked at me like that. It would kill her to know I texted three girls after Valerie didn’t answer, and the only reason I was here was because Zoe was the fastest to reply..

I leave Zoe like that, naked in bed, pleading with her eyes. Sometimes I felt bad, because I could tell she really liked me. But then I remembered how hard it is to be Paige Bueckers, and I didn’t feel so bad. My job was to be great on the court. Everything else was just background noise.

-

I sit by the court, my chest heaving, throwing my head back to down some water. The squeaking of sneakers echo all around me, blending in with the sound of Geno’s voice screaming at some of the girls working on plays. Coach had been killing us today, not happy with how the last game had went. We had still won, but that was merely a reason to celebrate in his eyes. 

All day I’d been missing shots that should’ve been child’s play for me. I couldn’t help but beat myself up. I was distracted, unfocused. I had been killing myself on the court, hoping it would bring me to my senses. Geno had been the one to tap me on the shoulder and force me to take a break I wipe the sweat off my face into the inside of my shirt, and grab my phone.

Bro are u alive?

I’m gettin worried lowkey

i’m fine paige

Five days. For five days Valerie hadn’t texted me back anything but that. I clench my jaw in frustration, shaking my head to myself. It made no sense to me - yeah we had a falling out but that’s what we did. We bickered and then we kissed and made up, and that’s what we had been doing for months so why was she acting like this now? Well… maybe calling her a psycho bitch last week hadn’t been the best move on my part.

I don’t know why the things she did bothered me so much. When she didn’t laugh at my joke, when she didn’t answer my texts. I don’t know why I felt a constant nervousness swirl inside me when she was mad at me, I had no reason to care. I guess the pussy was just that good, it was tricking me into thinking I did.

“Va-le-r- oh that’s the girl from Ted’s!” KK slams her hands on my shoulders, coming up from behind me, peeping at my phone screen. In a panic, I lock my phone, hiding it from her view.

“Bro, you heard of privacy?” I complain, shoving her playfully as she sits next to me on the ground. KK snickers, her nose scrunching a little as she does. 

“Not since you started peeing with the door open,” the shorter girl next to me argues and I scoff loudly, my mouth wide open.

“One time! And I was drunk!!” I groan, my voice rising a little and eyes going wide. CD quickly turns around and shushes us, shaking her head. Me and KK quickly shut our mouths, my cheeks turning a little red from the scolding.

KK looks at me with raised brows, and then at the phone, and then at me again. Most of the team knew how I kept myself busy when I wasn’t training, but KK was the one who had joined me those countless times at Ted’s and sat with me at the corner table as I watched her. Valerie. There was something so intriguing about her I just had to keep coming back. I always thought once I’d get her to my bed and have my way with her, I’d be done with her, which is how it usually goes. Before I realised that one time turned into five, which turned into me being in her bed getting her right, not even caring about my own most of the time. Getting her off got me off. Just thinking about the way she looked when she came, the way her back arched, her perfect mouth fell open - I really had to stop thinking about her. Why was it so goddamn hard?

It won’t be hard to find another Valerie if she’s gonna keep this difficult act up.

“Girl trouble?” KK asks, her tone more genuine and I roll my eyes, looking at her sideways.

“Yea right,” I chuckle sarcastically, leaning my elbows to my knees. “Just need to find a new one is all.”

KK lets out a small laugh, sipping her water bottle. “The five you got not enough?” She jokes.

I smirk a little glancing at her. “Four,” I correct, as if that made it better somehow. “Just need someone… new,” I mumble, knowing it was the best bet to get my mind off Valerie. I’m sure eventually I’d find someone who was just as hot. Someone who also smelled like coconut.

“Then what do I say to Zoe.”

“Wh- Zoe?” 

KK nods and grins at me. “She texted me asking about your shoe size or sum, wanted to get a gift for you.”

“She- she what?” My voice is full of shock and I can feel the claustrophobic tightness quickly grow inside me. I had never given her KK’s number. She was doing too much. KK just nods, clearly finding the situation amusing.

“Bro…” I groan quietly, as to not piss off CD again, and lean my head forward, resting my forehead against my arms. Zoe clearly hadn’t understood what “just fucking around” meant. Sometimes shit slipped out of my mouth, sure, but I never let her think I liked her. I had to be careful with her.

KK kisses the her teeth and is still nodding. “Yeah… probably time to let her go huh?”

“That bitch is crazy I swear,” I murmur and KK laughs out loud again. I punch her arm, reminding her to keep quiet - an impossible task for KK. Before I can stop myself, the words just slip from my mouth.

“Ted’s tonight?” 

KK looks at me pointedly. “Valerie workin’?” she teases but I shake my head sternly.

“No man, fuck Valerie.” The words tasted bitter in my mouth. “Just need to find a new one, k?”

“You sure you’re not just gon’ ogle at her all ni-”

“KK.” I say sternly

KK nods. “Ok,” she repeats but I can tell from her tone she doesn’t buy it. She shuts up though knowing she could tease me about anything but anything about Valerie got under my skin. Truth was Valerie was working today. I just needed to see her just for a second. Just to know if I was overthinking it, or if she was really icing me out.

-

The Friday night had brought many other students to Ted’s as well, the bar pretty packed and the chatter loud over the music. KK had convinced Ice to join us so the three of us made our way in. The best thing about crowds was it made it easy to blend in, even for us. We push our way through to the bar, my eyes immediately searching for a glimpse of Valerie’s golden brown hair or her wide eyes. All I needed was to see her, I told myself. Even for a second. Then the twist in my stomach would straighten out.

“What can I get you?” The perky voice of the redhead asks over the buzzing crowd. I think her name was Natalie or something. Ice looks over the flyers on the bar, advertising a range of new drinks.

“Let’s try some of these,” Ice suggests and I grab the flyer from her hand. I didn’t really come here to drink so I couldn’t have cared less what we ordered. Especially now I realised Valerie wasn’t even here.

“Uhh yea can we get three Aperol Negronis,”

“You won’t like it,” a stern, but sweet voice interrupts the conversation. I’d recognise that voice anywhere.

Valerie steps out from the back, pinning her hair away from her face and for a moment our gazes meet. Her dark, wide eyes make me let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. For a moment I want to jump over the bar and touch her, to make sure she was really there and not just a mirage of my desires.

“W-why not?” I ask, my voice uncharacteristically shaky. Only with her I got like that. Suddenly my throat felt dry and the nervous twist in my stomach was turning into something you could only call butterflies. Of course I knew it couldn’t be butterflies, because that would mean I cared. I couldn’t afford to care. I didn’t have the time for distractions. I had a national championship to win.

Valerie scoffs looking away from me, ignoring me as I chase her gaze. “Because I know you won’t,” she says. The way she thought she knew me that well irked me. Still, I’d be lying if I said a part of me wasn’t beaming at the fact that I had her attention after a week of trying to chase her down.

I can’t help the pout that forms in defiance. She’s still ignoring me, pouring drinks for a group of boys clearly ogling at her - which only irked me more.

“Well… I want three of them,” I say matter of factly, trying to prove a point.

“Whoa Paige, maybe we should just get a shirl-” Ice chuckles but I shake my head.

“Three Aperol Negronis,” I dictate. Valerie’s stern eyes finally look at me. She looks almost a little scary, not pleased with my tone. “... please.” I add urgently, not wanting to get on her bad side. I guess some would say I already had.

Wordlessly, Valerie rolls her wide eyes and gets to mixing the drinks. I allow my eyes to wander for a moment, noticing how the white shirt of the work uniform hugged her body, the curve of her breasts making my mouth water. Just seeing her was enough to ignite the fire deep in my abdomen. The things I would do to leave with her tonight and take her to my bed, like I had so many times before. I would even settle for just some kissing. Just wanted to let my hands wander down her body, squeeze and feel where I wanted, with no urgency. I needed to feel all of her, wanted to drown in her.

“By card orrr…?” Valerie asks, clearly waiting for the payment. My eyes had gone glassy, and my lower lip had a small dent from the way I’d been biting down on it. I blink stupidly at her, struggling to calm myself down.

“I got it,” KK murmurs and slides her card to Valerie. I grab my drink, and the smell is enough to make my face scrunch up in disgust. I swear it smells like battery acid, and as I take a sip I notice - it also tastes like battery acid. I swallow the orange liquor, it burns on its way down making me cough a little. Valerie was watching me amused. I hated when she was right.

“People actually drink this and like it??” Ice asks, her voice hoarse from coughing as well. KK nods agreeing but I’m too stubborn to admit defeat.

“I actually like it,” I lie with a straight face, my fingers twitching around the glass as I try to get over the bitter aftertaste in my mouth.

“Oh right,” Valerie says, flicking her hair over her shoulder as she turns to another group of customers. I can’t help reach over the bar, my hand grabbing her arm. She turns back to face me, icier than I had ever seen. It shocks me enough that I let go of her, taken aback.

“What?” she asks, her voice filled with annoyance.

“You seen my texts?” is all I ask, and it comes out a little too desperate for my liking.

“Yes,” Valerie says matter of factly. I wait for her to continue but she doesn’t.

“Uh… well thought we’d link up or something,” I add, shifting on my feet as I do.

Valerie sighs in frustration and takes a deep breath to compose herself.

“I’m good,” is all she says and flashes me an ice cold smile. I feel a strange pang in my heart. She had iced me out before, but not like this. Usually seeing her face to face was enough for her to forget our petty little arguments, enough to get her on me again. “I have work,” she adds before finally returning to serve the other customers.

I stand there for a moment, astonished. An uncomfortable ache that had been wavering in my chest was growing too intense for me to ignore anymore. Maybe it was all my fault after all. I had told her I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else and in the moment I had meant it. But then I remembered the stakes. Last year to win a national championship, last year to prove my greatness. I wasn’t going to mess it up just because of some girl. A relationship would be nothing more than a distraction, an unnecessary responsibility. I had enough on my plate. Valerie was selfish for wanting me all to herself. She didn’t understand what she was asking for. Maybe calling her a psycho bitch wasn’t so far off.

I feel someone bump into my back and turn around to find a girl, cheeks blushed and apologetic. I see her eyes widen in recognition - it was always that moment when I knew I could have this girl if I wanted. 

“Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, I’m a little drunk,” the girl giggles and I offer her an easy smile. I consider taking this girl home, imagining the way I’d lure her into my bed, just a little bit of sweet talk and a smirk would be enough, a hand on her waist, thumb rubbing her skin and soon she’d get this look on her face like she had to have me. It would be so easy, and I wouldn’t have to think about Valerie at all.

But the pain in my chest doesn’t go away, even when I let my mind wander further, how this girl would look underneath me, whimpering while I fuck her. It did nothing to make the pain go away.

“‘S fine,” i murmur and decide to ignore the way she was blinking at me, biting her bottom lip. I grab my drink from the bar, and push past her, finding KK and Ice sitting at our usual table. They both look at me, but don’t ask where I’d been. They both knew better. I sip my drink, cursing to myself in my head about ordering it. With sheer stubbornness I finish it quickly, finding that easier than taking small sips. 

“You’re never picking what we drink again,” KK scoffs, copying me, her face scrunching involuntarily when she finishes her drink. But I barely register her words, as I lean back in the chair, head tilting back to watch Valerie.

She’s giggling with Natalie, throwing her head back in amusement. The chatter in the bar is deafening, but I swear I could hear her laugh in my head vividly. Like my brain had memorised each tone of her voice. There was something different about Valerie, she always shined the brightest in every room she was in. Even the dingy bar was lit up by her. She wasn’t even necessarily extremely lively. It was her mere presence that just made everything better. 

I noticed it the first time I ever saw her, early september. All she did was walk past me on campus, talking lively into her phone. It was her voice I had heard before even seeing what she looked like. Her voice had been enough to make me have to see her. Of course she hadn’t even looked my way, not even a glance. That was the moment I knew I had to have her.

“You enjoy it?” Valerie asks KK and Ice, fully ignoring me as she walks to our table to clean up. I watch the golden bracelet she always wore dangling on her wrist as she grabs the empty glasses. I lean back and tilt my head to look up at her, needy for her attention. Licking my lips I look her up and down, that usually worked enough to get her naked. But now, she didn’t even glance at me. Annoyance grew within me as she chatted with KK, laughing at her jokes.

It was then when my eyes moved from her lips to her neck that I saw it - a dark bruise underneath her ear, right on the spot where she liked to be kissed. I knew, because I had left many bruises there and gotten scolded for it. But this wasn’t mine. This was someone else’s.

“Okay well see ya around,” Valerie smiles and turns to take the glasses to the back. I feel the pang in my chest quickly flip, turning into anger. I was furious. Who did she think she was? Sleeping around with someone else, not answering my texts, letting someone else mark her like that. I felt my body turn hot, and without a word to KK and Ice I get up from my seat, nearly knocking it over as I take quick strides to reach Valerie, following her into the back, ignoring the STAFF ONLY sign on the door.

My steps are heavy and loud as I reach her, standing by the sink, handling the dirty glasses. I was shaking my head to myself, trying to control my anger. But it was getting the best of me.

“Staff only plea-” Valerie starts and turns to me, unable to miss the redness of my face, the clenched jaw and the way I was biting on the insides of my cheeks. “Paige?” she asks, furrowing her brows, confused.

The pounding in my head grows and I let out a scoff, not feeling in control of myself. My brain was moving faster than I could follow, I felt lightheaded. I felt furious. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I ask, my voice loud. I didn’t really care about being overheard.

“Huh?” Valerie asks, clearly bewildered, but already getting defensive in response to how I was acting.

“What, you don’t text me, call me or nothing? Because you’ve been too busy fucking some other bitch?” I yell, my hand pointing to her neck. Valerie’s eyes widen in realisation but quickly turn angry too. 

“I- WHAT?” She yells back and takes a step towards me.

“Don’t play dumb. So who is it?” I say sternly, grinning bitterly at her, my eyes looking down at her.

She scoffs and rolls her eyes shaking her head which only infuriates me more.

“I said. Who. Is. It?” I repeat, grabbing her arm. She pushes my hand off her, anger growing on her face as her brows furrowed further.

“How is it any of your business who I sleep with Paige?” She argues.

She had a point. We weren’t exclusive. Matter of fact it was pretty hypocritical of me to be so angry when I had a roster of girls on my phone, ready to answer my calls at any time of day. My anger had taken over though, and the little sense I had when it came to Valerie, was completely gone.

I throw my head back and chuckle bitterly, provoking her further. “See I knew you’re a lotta things but didn’t know you were a slut too,” I hiss, the words slipping out without much thought. I couldn’t think of anything but how furious I felt.

Valerie laughs loud, but it’s not the sweet laugh I was used to. It was a bitter, angry laugh.

“Me?! You’ve slept with every girl that swings your way on campus and even some that don’t! You’re the slut Paige!” she screams, her wide eyes burning with anger, her finger coming up to point at my face. It pissed me off, the way it was assigning blame, like all of this was my fault. Like it wasn’t she who slept with someone.

“I don’t owe you anything!” she declares, her voice revealing a hint of hurt, the way it cracked slightly. “I’m done with you. I’m serious Paige. Done,” she adds, her voice calmer, but more authoritative. “Now get out of my bar.”

My face was hot and red, my chest was heaving and my head spun. The hurt in her voice made me waver, made my chest ache more. I blink at her stupidly as she turns back to the dishes, already missing having her attention. I was fine with the yelling, the fighting, as long as it meant she was looking at me, or talking to me. But now she’s done with me? Fine, so was I. Wouldn’t take me longer than a day to find a new Valerie.

“Pshh whatever,” I murmur and storm out of the back, heading fast towards the exit. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, my chest felt tight and I could taste the bitter Aperol on my tongue still. It made me nauseous,

I’m gasping for air once I feel the chilly breeze of february hitting my skin. The silence outside was overwhelming, forcing me to realise the rapid pace of my own thoughts. My mind was swirling with flashing images of Valerie, on top of someone, looking down at her like she did at me, the idea of her moaning someone else’s name made me sick.

“Fuck!” I shout, unable to control myself. A group of girls near me turn to look at me but return to their conversation when I sit myself down on the curb. What a standard I was setting for student athletes everywhere right now.

My eyes burn and before I notice, a tear rolls down my cheek. I bury my face into my hands and rub my jaw, my anger easing with each exhale. I didn’t know why I was crying, I didn’t understand any of this. I couldn’t believe the things I had said, the way I had acted. I was supposed to be disciplined, in control, but I felt so out of control when it came to Valerie.

“Paigey…” KK murmurs and suddenly I realise her and Ice are standing in front of me, looking down at me sympathetically. Embarrassed, I wipe the tears away and try to steady my breathing.

“Uhh sorry just gimme a sec guys,” I sigh looking at the ground. They sit on either side of me, wrapping their arms around me. I lean into Ice’s shoulder and I’m grateful how they don’t pry, or talk. We just sit there in silence for a while.

I take a deep sigh and lift my head back up, chewing on my bottom lip. I glance at both of the girls sitting next to me, grateful for the friends I had. At least I got one thing right.

“I dunno what just happened,” I sigh, shaking my head thinking back to my behaviour. The shame I felt made my cheeks turn a shade of red.

KK chuckles softly and ruffles my hair affectionately. “I do,” she mumbles.

I furrow my brows and turn to look at her. She looks back at me like whatever was about to come out of her mouth was obvious. KK and Ice glance at each other before KK opens her mouth to speak.

“Bro you have feelings for her.”

Oh?

Oh.

My mouth parts in realisation as I move my gaze from KK to the pavement. It’s just us now, sitting in silence, the sounds of passing cars and the muted sounds of the bar the only noise in the chilly evening.

“C’mon P boogers, let’s go home,” Ice says, standing up and reaching a hand down to lift me up. 

KK hops up and nods. “You need some Tru Fru,” she adds.

With a nod, I let them pull me up, following them to the car. I had feelings for Valerie. Shit. I'd just have to find a way to get over it - I couldn’t afford all this. Not right now. Not with the world watching, waiting for me to fail. Not with a national championship on the line.

-

taglist: @thaatdigitaldiary @wbbismypassion69 @bueckersfive @onlyhereforpazzi @lovegalor333 @mandyvivic @frankoceanlvr303039 @angryflowerwitch @taylynbueckers44 @mamixdanni @rosemariiaa @d3arapril @darkskinchristiandiorpostergirl @vbueckers @sageworld @makethemhoesmad @sierrale8ne @tndaqlifwy @justliketoreadsowhat @oreo2sblog @sftlyortega @slvt4her

NEXT ONE WILL BE HOTTER I PROMISE

[tommiieimagiines]

hihihi

uhm so am i allowed to request again (i don’t wanna spam) 😭😭🙏

and if i am can u pls do a rui x hopeless romantic best friend reader (i’m totally normal about best friends to lovers lmfao)

so like the reader is always yapping about hot guys and it’s a little angsty at first because rui is thinking to himself ‘why did i have to fall inlove with someone that won’t ever choose me’ and then one day a hot guy comes up to reader and asks her out, reader is about to say yes but then she realises that she barely knew him and there was someone (rui) who had been by her side since day one and she figures out who she really loves (RUIII) so she rejects him and when rui asks why she just hugs him and says ‘because your the one i really want’ mwah mwah i feel like such a genius (i really hope this made sense lmao be prepared for a million bestie-> lovers and angst-> fluff rui requests 😼)

thank youyoyoyoyoyuuu!!

hi guys! i’m so so incredibly sorry for how inactive i have been! unfortunately, the fanfic writer curse caught up to me, and i’ve had considerably bad things happen to me! ToT

i had developed a really bad addiction after a recent episode - which may be why i’ve loved to write my characters so miserable, but they get a happy ending in the end - and have recently relapsed after a couple months. i’ve also been struggling with a lot of things, like being bullied again, pressure from theater, classes, autism, parental issues, memory of past trauma, having no friends, things like that. i’ve just been having a really hard time, so writing has been super difficult for me. i’m currently having some of the worst mental health in my life, and am un-recovering from other things i’ve had in the past too, after seeing the results of my recovery. sorry if this triggered anybody, i just needed to get this off my chest, and felt also that i should explain where i have been. you all supporting me has kept me going, and i hope you enjoy this one too! LETS END THE PITY PARTY!!!

in other - not so depressing news - here you guys go!! sorry for OOCness, obviously this is a more dramatic approach to a story! happy ending, j tried to write the inner narration differently for how you two were feeling at the time.. and ty once again for such a great idea, mama ^3^

“I don’t think I could stand to be where you don’t see me.”

If he has to sit here and listen to this one more time, he thinks he’ll go insane.

Rui Kamishiro loves you. He truly does. You’re his best friend, his partner in crime, his-

Never mind.

Rui loves you, but he absolutely HATES your taste in guys, and it’s driving him nuts. Nodding and agreeing can only get him so far before he wants to rip his own hair out, and tonight is no exception.

“I give up! All boys are dumb, I don’t need them!” You lament, resting your chin in your hands. It’s the same song and dance over and over. You swear off boys, you get attention, you get sucked in, and he has to pick up the pieces when it inevitably fails. How many times has he thought about how much better he would treat you now? He doesn’t know. He’d be a classical lover, he’d never speak to you the way those stupid unprincipled high school boys do.

Gross. That’s his best friend, why’d he think that? And when did he start being so self confident? He really outta look at himself in the mirror. What an egomaniac he’s turning out to be.

He shakes his head.

“You do know I’m still a boy, right?” He prods, trying to cheer you up. He knows this situation well, and he knows exactly how to make you feel better. Again he’d pull you out of this, and again he’d watch you fall in love.

He wishes you could be happy. He wishes you weren’t in love with being in love. You’re too pure for true love, love is disgusting, depraved, and unkind. You’re not anything like that.

“I know, I know, but you’re the only good one!” You point, words self-assured. “I don’t need a boyfriend, you do everything boyfriendy for me anyway!”

Ouch. Thanks a lot, that’s exactly what he needed to hear right now. He’s not gonna dwell on that last bit for now, he’ll wait until he’s home. Then he can- he doesn’t know. Cry, or something juvenile like that.

“So I’m back-up-boyfriend?” He masks himself in jest, smiling teasingly at you.

“Eh, maybe,” you snicker, “you’d definitely be cute if you weren’t my friend.”

He turns to his school work sharply, trying to mask his complete and utter despair. Ugh, why does he have to be so dramatic? His own personality makes his skin crawl with disgust and hatred, and that only makes him cringe more. He could think about how obnoxious he is all day. Maybe he should use that go home and cry pass early. He pretends to check the time, as if that isn’t all he’s been doing.

“It’s getting late, after this problem I should get going.” He mutters, scribbling some random numbers into his notebook. You yawn in response, being broken out of absentmindedly scrolling through your phone.

“Ugh, I wish you didn’t have to go!” You drape an arm over his torso, trying to hold him in. He smiles fondly, wrestling to get you off of him.

“I’d have to walk home in the dark then, do you want that?” He knows you’d never let him, and he sees it immediately.

Your face looks knowing, and you let him go right away. It amuses him at first, but quickly fills him with overwhelming pity. You’re so kindhearted it makes him sick. You shouldn’t worry about someone like him, it’s bad for your health.

“Would you like me to walk home with you?!” You shoot up, the idea of him not being safe running through your head. Maybe he should’ve kept his mouth shut. How emasculating! He’s not a helpless young girl! He’s just as manly as those boys who you long for, he’s not a puppy to be walked!

God, is jealously turning him into a bigot? He shakes his head once again, this time not just to clear his thoughts. He’s absolutely not letting you walk him home, it’d be mortifying. He takes your attention belly up, you should have a break. Maybe some time to yourself for a change? God, Rui, get a grip.

“I’m fine, I don’t want you out late by yourself either,” he assures, looking at you in haste.

“Ah. You have a point.”

“I always do.” He means more to that, and he wishes he could tell you. He wants you to see that even he knows what he’s talking about. He needs you to see him, just for once. Not as a best friend, or backup boyfriend, just as a regular one. As a lover who dances in the rain, or ties your shoes

He needs to stop. He shouldn’t think about you like that. It’s lecherous.

You two exchange goodbyes, giving him a long hug (much to his horror). He hates how feverish it is it hold you like this, it makes him feel guilty. His body gets hot, his cheeks flare up, his throat feels tight- it makes him feel like a pervert, even if his thoughts are the farthest thing from lewd.

He feels that everything he thinks about you is repulsive, though.

“Be safe”’s and “See you later”’s are passed between you two, and he walks down your front steps, now completely alone. His eyes scan the damp pavement, seeing the golden hues from the sky light the boring rock. That’s how he feels about you, he decides. You’re the sun, and he’s the pavement. He humors himself by thinking that your suitors are the clouds, stopping you from shining your light for him so he can grow weeds in the cracks of his soul. That’s what these feelings are. Weeds.

He wants to live life beautifully with you, he decides. He wants to tie your shoes, he wants to twirl you as you dance.

He wishes he could be the moon. Something of consequence- of importance, but he’s just the pavement. Not the earth, not the stars, not the clouds, or rain, he’s just a man made monster who destroys nature - you - and is walked over by people who do matter.

He should quit being this way, he grumbles, it doesn’t do anybody any good to be so flowery. He’s too girly- too weak. Maybe that’s why you don’t like him. If you’re willing to date anything that moves other than him, that must mean he’s on a completely new level, huh?

That’s what dreaming gets you, Rui. Crushed dreams and embarrassment.

He lets out a pitiful sigh, kicking a pebble with his shoe. He sees a worm in a lawn which reminds him of himself, he sees a couple shopping for a new game which reminds him of you, he sees a convenience store which reminds him that he’s hungry-

His life can be so mundane sometimes, what a drag.

He’s about to reach his front door, when he steps into a puddle. It feels like an appropriate representation of his life right now. A sense of disgraceful hilarity washes over him, and he begins to laugh. He laughs a while, he laughs as he takes his shoes off, he laughs as he peels his button up down, and he laughs as he lays in his bed. How dramatic he could be some times!

He falls asleep quickly. He has a dream about being on stage and forgetting his lines.

He wakes up with a thud, he fell out of bed. How embarrassing. He decides to check his phone.

Weirdo: RUII

Weirdo: wanna hang w me 2day?? u don’t have dance time right??

Weirdo: gonna kill you. WAKE UP

Me: I’m awake, sorry!

Weirdo: finally sleeping beauty

Weirdo: wanna get a snack? i’m simply starved…

Me: When?

Weirdo: an hr maybe…

Me: Okay :) I’ll tell you when I leave.

Weirdo: kay!!

He really doesn’t feel like being social today, but he’d never pass up an opportunity to see you. He’s an obscene degenerate when it comes to you, pouncing on your attention like a sick dog. It’s mortifyingly pathetic.

He gets dressed, throwing on a boring striped sweater. It’s getting colder outside recently, and he’s always ran cold anyway. His hands are shaky and nervous as he brushes his teeth, the anxiousness to see you making his body jittery. He considers breakfast, but quickly shuts the idea down. He doesn’t want to be stressed out - at least more than he already is - when he sees you. Twitchy hands lock his door, and he gets a few feet away before he double checks that he did, in fact, lock it. Pull yourself together, Rui! He screams at himself.

The walk is just as unexciting as he expected, albeit a bit chilly. He’s feeling thankful for the sweater. The breeze runs its hands through his hair, and he’s reminded that winter is coming. He always liked Autumn flowers the best, hibiscus flowers are pretty too, he supposes. It’s nice to have the warmth of the sun soothing his cold hands during summer, for sure.

He trips over a rock on the way, and his pants get wet on the knees. Khaki blends into an ugly brown, and he sighs. How unlucky, would anything go right for him today?

Turns out it will, you look really good today.

You great him at the door, practically buzzing with eagerness. It makes him smile, knowing that you do, in fact, want to see him. Or at least are acting like it. You’re a good friend to him, he’s lucky to have you.

“Rui!” You hug him as a greeting, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. His heart soothes, eyes closing in relaxation. Problems feel obscure and distant when you two are like this, despite his reluctance last night. He can forget about corrupt feelings - or misguided love- and he can just be your best friend. Despite his apprehension to be cared for, he is flattered that you, at least, seem to like him.

“Hey.” He breaths you in, his voice soft. He hopes you don’t notice, it’s embarrassing.

“Hey!” You reply, pulling away. “Big things planned, Rui!”

“What big things?” He asks, amused. “Big things” for you were junk food and shopping.

“Big things! It’s a surprise!” You put your shoes on, and he can’t help but feel jealous as he watches your hands tie them dutifully. He sighs, stretching. He decides to make it a challenge to act normal the whole day. No weird thoughts are going to beguile his mind, he promises himself.

You lock your front door, twisting the knob to make sure that it did, in fact, lock. This fills him with a child-like sense of delight, maybe you two really were similar.

Nah, not possible. You’re too pure - too perfect. Ugh, Rui, no more stupid thoughts.

He watches you check the time, make a face at a nearby bird, and cover your cheeks with your hands. You suddenly perk up, wrapping your arms around him.

“Warm me up, will ya?” You scowl at the cool air, grip tightening. He gulps. It’s weird he reacts like this, considering you two have done things like this all the time. It’s normal, so why does he have to be such a creep? His arms wrap around yours, running his hands up and down to create heat.

“Should’ve worn a jacket,” he chides, “wouldn’t be cold, y’know?” His voice is so casual, like everything is totally fine. It is fine. Fine, fine, fine.

“Gotta look good. I’m on the hunt, obviously,” you joke. It isn’t funny to him, but he lets out a laugh.

“You’re hopeless.”

You two stop at a convenience store first, and you all but sprint to the drinks. He had this ritual down to a science. You grab two different color slushies, and he grabs whatever odd snack catches your collective stomachs eye today. Today the two of you decide to split a cookie, and walk to the counter. The cashier gives you a smirk, and he averts his eyes.

“This it?” The boy cocks his head, and you get the memo. You immediately jump on the opportunity.

“Mhm!” You wink, resting your chin in your hands while leaning against the counter. In all honestly, he wasn’t even that cute. At least, that’s what Rui kept telling himself.

“Don’t worry about it, than. I got you guys,” he waves you off. Score! You think, but he adds. “If I can get your number.” Rui feels like falling into the floor, how awkward! You just scribble it onto a stray receipt, winking.

“Thank you! You’re the sweetest!!” You singsong, skipping along with Rui following suite. You immediately burst into laughter, throwing a fake punch at Rui. “What a weirdo! Like I’d call him over what, 1000 yen?! I don’t even know him, yuck!”

So you did have some sense, he feels like letting out a sigh of relief. You hold your hands out.

“Which one do you want? I got your favorite!!” You look so proud, and he wants to laugh. His “favorite” isn’t actually his favorite, but he’d never tell you that.

The lie started one day in middle school, when the two of you suddenly had a weird craving for slushies. When you picked them out, you had gotten a red one and a blue one, and asked him what he wanted. While he really didn’t like red, he knew you liked blue, so he said red. Now for the past four years, you’ve always ended up getting him a red one, thinking it was his favorite. He’ll deal with it for you. Seeing your blue tongue stick out with brain freeze is better than any sugary drink anyway.

“Red, duh.” He scoffs playfully, taking a sip of it. The taste doesn’t really bother him all that much anymore. It reminds him of you.

You always let him divide the snacks, thinking he gives himself the bigger half. He never does, but he eats slower so you think he did. You skip along, enjoying it.

“Y’know, this isn’t bad. Wish they had the brownie, though. That never does us wrong.” God, don’t make him think of the ‘crack brownies’ - as you two call them. Those are great, and he likes them, so you never miss an opportunity to shove them down his throat.

“Don’t complain. Remember the egg roll incident?” He points, laughing at the memory. You two steer clear of that section now, having gotten sick.

“Ugh, I haven’t thought about that in a while! I’m never eating an egg roll again after that day! Ugh,” you gag.

Moments of silly memories like this make him feel like he’s known you forever. He can’t even remember a moment where he hasn’t loved you.

“Where’re we going now, commander?” He salutes, following the trail of sunshine you left behind.

“Where ever the wind blows us, kind sir!” You salute back, pushing him along. Your constant checks of your phone don’t go unnoticed by him, and he fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“Who’re you texting? Don’t tell me it’s that guy.” He tries to sound casual, knocking his shoulder against yours playfully.

“‘M not a total idiot, I’ll have you know!” You huff, holding your phone to your chest. “It’s just somebody we went to school with a while back, ‘m seeing if I can pull the moves.”

“Do I know him?”

“Dunno, never saw you two talking, so maybe not. He was in my english class, remember, the only class we didn’t have together?”

“Ah.”

You two walk in silence, except for when he yanks you back from the collar so you don’t walk into oncoming traffic, which amuses you greatly. You two soon arrive at the small mall, and he tails you as you run with excitement. You two browse everything, constantly pointing out cute plushies, or interesting keychains.

“Rui, look! Look!” You shake him, pointing to the back of somebody’s head inconspicuously. “Wait don’t yet- Okay, now! He’s turning around! That’s the guy! What a coincidence we see him here, right? Do you recognize him?”

Ha. Yeah, he knows this guy. He definitely knows him. He’s the one who would trip him during passing periods, he’s the one who left flowers on his desk. They make eye contact, and it’s like all of his growth left his body. He’s just the same freak from middle school, he’s still thirteen.

He shudders at the guys smirk, sensing that he definitely knows that Rui knows him. He jogs over to the two of you, and Rui already knows what’s about to happen, due to the lopsided smile on your face.

Damnit, this is the first time he doesn’t think he can act like it’s okay.

“Oh wow, what a coincidence! Must be fate we run into each other like this, ehe…” You giggle awkwardly, a dumb expression gracing your face. It’s painful seeing you that way for anybody other than him, and he looks away awkwardly.

“Must be.” He answers, swaggering closer towards you. Rui thanks whatever God above because - despite his current situation - at least this asshole didn’t go to highschool with you guys.

He looks down at his shoes, and tries to shuffle away, knowing this jackass is about to say something. He’s quickly stopped.

“Who’s this, huh? Feel like a recognize him from somewhere…” He trails off, smirking through his nose as he turns his attention to him. “Have we met before?”

“This is Kamishiro Rui, he’s my friend! He went to middle school with us, remember?” You happily answer for him.

Ha, friend? What happened to back-up boyfriend? He’s a little hurt, to be honest.

He feels bitter, it’s unbecoming- God, he doesn’t care. He should feel bad for getting so angry over it, it’s not like you belong to him. He’s such a freak, getting attached to you like this.

He starts to pick at his fingers, then he plays with a loose string on his sweater. You two continue to chat like nothings wrong, and he keeps thinking. It’s something he’s gotten good at recently.

He stops feeling bad about himself for a second- a split second where he resents you, and wishes his pain upon you. Wants you to know what it’s like to be so disgustingly, guiltily, revoltingly obsessed with someone. In this split second, he can’t even find it in himself to feel guilty about it, which is unlike him. He wishes you felt love like this, that you were as psychotic about it.

But this doesn’t last long, because he remembers that he loves you more than anything. He’s lucky to be your friend. You’re a great friend, you’re an amazing person, you’re the sun, the sun, the sun.

He’s the pavement, he has to remember.

“I’m- I’ll leave you to it, y’know? Fabric store.” He stutters, choking on his voice. You don’t even notice, waving him off.

You do, however, remember to press his shoulder, uttering an absentminded “Okay, Rui, bye,” and he remembers again how perfect you are for doing it subconsciously. He lets himself feel the touch, long after he’s walked away. He deserves it after the trouble he’s reliving.

When he makes it to the fabric store - which he really didn’t need anything from, Nene had gotten some the other day - he can’t help himself from wishing he could just go home. Malls were always overwhelming already, and now his saving grace has the attention of another man. He walks through aisles, but realizes that he now has to buy something.

‘Least he knows that social cue, he laughs bitterly, running his hands across his face in frustration. He’s so ridiculous.

Meanwhile, you were chatting up a storm. It was your first time talking in person since middle school, after all! You feel giddy for a while, but it cuts abruptly. You feel a strange sense of urgency, something’s missing.

Oh, your best friend.

But where had he gone? You’re sure he was just here. You smile apologetically at the cute boy, putting on your best performance.

“Oh, I better go get my friend now. I don’t like walking home when it’s late. Was nice seein’ you, let’s hang out soon, ‘kay?” You singsong, stepping closer. You want to give yourself a pat on the back, you’re so cute.

He rolls his eyes, and you’re hit with a wave of uneasiness. That noise he made sounds strangely dismissive, he’s not the kind of guy to be a jerk though, you must be hearing things-

“Leave ‘im. Between you and me, he was a total freak in middle school. Probably is now, too. Probably likes you or somethin’, total nutcase.” His voice sounds so casual, like it’s not the douchiest thing you’ve heard all day.

You let other men walk all over you, sure. You let them cheat on you, lie, whatever. But you’re not about to stand here and insult Rui. He’s the only untouched thing in your life - the only person who isn’t cruel. He’s so gangly and awkward, but in the best way. You could live a million times and not be able to deserve him, at least you think so. He’s so unusual, and that’s what you love most about him. Little things like not liking loud lights, or liking the red slushies the best, make your heart buzzy with familiarity. He’s the one constant in your life.

You’ve been awfully worried about him recently, though. His particularly (as you like to call it) has gone to the an extreme, and it’s been a battle getting him to eat real food. You’re not blind, you see the way he’s been spacing out, or tapping a little too much. You just thought he’d been overwhelmed. He worries you to death sometimes, but despite all of his own struggles, he always seems to not care about it, deciding to always be there for you instead. Ah, he’s just such an amazing guy - no, not guy, he’s not anything like those other boys you talk to. He’d never insult someone like that. He’s not just a guy, he’s like your person.

Yeah, he’s definitely your person.

Your heart sputters at the thought, and you feel something you’ve never really felt before - save for hugs between the two of you that lasted just a second too long, or words a little too romantic. The feeling makes your mind fuzzy, and your heart hurt terribly with something you could only place as homesickness.

Oh.

“I,” you begin, backing away. “Yeah, I’m sorry but I’ll really be going now-“

“What? C’mon I was just messing with you, even though having guy friend’s kinda weird.” He rolls his eyes.

“Yeah whatever, I’ll call you back,” you say dismissively.

You’re totally lying, you laugh, you’re not calling him back.

He didn’t seem to like that.

“Damn, can’t even joke around with you people. Whatever, weirdo, sorry I insulted your little boyfriend.” The change in tone amuses you.

Yeah, good riddance, pal.

You turn away, walking through the mall with pace. It takes a while, but you spot him watching a pet stores aquarium.

He’s a funny one.

You wave your hands, trying to get his attention. He swallows, knowing that it’s probably to ask him if it’s cool to walk home by himself. Emotions are stupid, and ironically, you both think that at the same time.

“Rui! Rui! Hey c’mon, let’s go home, yeah?” You smile, face feeling warm. It’s a different feeling from when you usually talk to him. He looks at you, a little shocked. He had assumed you were smiling wide because you set up a date, so he turns his head.

“Where is he, huh?” He looks away, back to the fish tank. You shift in place, was he mad at you? You’re a little irritated at the mention of the guy, though, and huff.

“Don’t worry about that. Seems like I only attract douchebags, so I decided to go.” You explain, poking his shoulder. “Hey,” you start, “let’s just walk home, I wanna talk to you about something.” The idea makes you feel dizzy, but you’ll have to illustrate your feelings one day.

You can leave out the “I think I’m in love with you” part, you think.

The two of you walk in an excruciating silence, staring down at the reflection of the setting sun in the puddles. His heart tightens, remembering his earlier comparison. Even now, you’re so perfect. Even if he’s frustrated with you - despite you turning down the guy in the end (he doesn’t know why, he wanted to ask) - even if he’s ready to scream, and cry, and ask you what it is he did for you to be so turned off by him, he still thinks you’re the most heavenly, divine person to ever grace his view. He wants to be where you see him, he wants to be in your orbit.

“You’re like the sun-“ He blurts out, immediately regretting it. He didn’t mean to say that, God, he’s so fucking stupid. He sees you stop walking, smiling that same stupid, dopey, lopsided smile that he’s always so jealous of-

Oh. It’s for him.

He chokes, stopping to meet you eye-to-eye. You look up at him too, laughing giddily.

“What does that mean?”

He sputters, stepping away. “N-no it’s nothing- It was stupid anyway so-“

“No, tell me!” You urge, laughing a little harder. “What if it was something bad, ‘nd you were making fun of me? That’s not nice, Rui!”

“I- Hey-“ His voice goes a touch higher, a defensive tone rising. “That’s not-“

“Then tell me.”

“It’s just,” he breaths, trying to word it in the least creepy way possible. How does convey the fact that he sees you as a divine presence, that he sees himself as a worthless creature compared to you, without sounding like he’s hopelessly possessed by love for you? “I just- you’re so amazing,” he starts, “I thought of this stupid thing the other day when I was walking home - you know how I am - and well, I just thought of you when the sun reflected off the pavement - since it rained, y’know? - and well, it just- Sorry, it was dumb-“ He rambles, covering his face in anguish.

Nobody’s ever put that much thought into you. Sure, you’ve received a few ‘You’re so gorgeous’’s, where you’ve had to wonder where they learnt such a “big word”, but never something as poetic as that. The usual Rui-ratic explanation endeared you to him even more. You look at him, the smile never leaving. He’s just… so Rui. His stupid striped sweater, his half up hair - that you’d begged him to grow out - his eyes, whatever. Everything about him you treasure, and little do you know he cherished you even that more intensely.

“I think you’re the moon, Rui. Or maybe the earth, since I take care of you, hah!” You snicker, stepping closer to him. He takes a step back in return, and you grab his hands to make him stay put. His heart throbs, and he almost goes crashing down.

“I.. I don’t-“

You yank his hands, making him look back up at you. “Hey, Rui, I,” you look at him assuringly, “I wanna say something, and you can’t laugh okay?”

He holds his breath, so do you.

Fuck it, just tell him.

“I think I’m in love with you, Rui.” You gaze at him, the words shooting out faster than you can second guess them.

“I don’t-“ He breaks away, his fists balling up. You messed up, you think, you really, really messed up. “I’m not- I’m not going to- You can’t just say that because you got rejected. I- It wouldn’t be nice to- You don’t love me-“

“Rui,” you beg, grabbing his arm again, “holding hands on the way to school, cuddling while doing homework, knowing everything about eachother, these aren’t-“ You breath, “I’ve wanted somebody to love me for so long, Rui, and I was so blind to the fact that I was loved. But the love that I felt for you, - that I feel for you - Rui, isn’t the kind where I can be- where I can just be so- so normal about those things!” You monologue, saying whatever’s on your mind. You’re the rambling one now.

“I found myself comparing you to these piece-of-garbage dude’s I’m always with, wishing I could just date somebody like you instead! But now I realize that it is you-“

His heart falls into his gut, and he breaks free from you again. His hands move to his face, covering his eyes. His voice is broken and cracky as he begins to cry. “That was- you-“ He pulls you into a desperate embrace, arms holding you like you’ll disappear. “You shouldn’t, you’re wrong.” He sobs, “I’m- the way I love you is- You don’t understand, the way I feel isn’t normal I- My love is disgusting, and horrible, and depraved-“ He shakes, you rub his back. “You are so perfect compared to me, I’d never be able to- I love you so much, more than friends are supposed to, more than anyone’s supposed to at our age-“

“Rui, hey Rui please don’t cry.” You beg, smoothing out the ridges in his sweater. “I don’t- I don’t agree with that, and I can scream that at you, but I’m sure you won’t believe me. You’re not disgusting for feeling emotions different, Rui that’s what I love about you.”

“Stop- stop saying my name like that. It’s too hard to-“

“Rui, I love you. You don’t need to accept it, but I love you. More than being in love, more than being loved-“

“I love you, too,” his voice cracks, “that’s why I’m so scared. I don’t want to ruin a friendship that’s all I have, if this is just- I’m scared I’d lose you in any way, and I can’t live in a world where you don’t see me. I won’t. It’s sounds horrible but-“ He stops as you pull away from the hug, and wipes his face hastily. You put your pinky out, and his stomach drops again.

“C’mon, just like when we were kids. Pinky promise that no matter what, we’ll always see each other. That way you don’t need to worry anymore, y’know? I never break my kissy pinky promises, ever.”

Just like when you two were little.

He locks his with yours, just like you taught him all those years ago. He remembers your shared handshake for theater, he remembers your shared handshake for testing, and he remembers the song you two had to duet for choir - when you have forced him into it for a year. He holds everything of you so dear to his heart, you endear everything about him to you as well.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I see you.”

“I see you, too.”

You two kiss your hands, then bring them down, still interlinked. You stare at him, and he stares back at you. In a moment of profound sincerity, you lean forward, and kiss him. It’s slow and gentle, and you unlock your hands half way through to hold his face, which he mirrors. His heart settles for the first time. You see him. He’s your moon, your earth, you’re his sun, his stars.

He’s suddenly alarmed by a quick pushing off of him, gasping out a “Rui!”

“I-“ he pants, wiping his mouth. “Hm?”

“we’re in the middle of a park!”

[alfredosauce50]

Ok I think I’ve thought of my birthday headcanons (they’re lowkey not even good 😭) but IDC. None are character specific so go with your gut 🩷 (also side note: idk if you remember back in like 2015 when authors would do that thing where ppl give brief descriptions of themselves and then they’d give a character to ship you with or not but I feel like that might be a good idea for engagement. But idk I’m also stupid so maybe not 💀 It’s less effort than headcanons and one-shots methinks. ANYWAY)

1. Learning a different language (español?? 🥺) to impress you 😛

2. Idk how to request this but just one where I’m a zookeeper 😓

3. Date where they try to teach you how to drive but it kinda goes wrong (I’m so bad at driving 💔)

4. Being the foil (or enabler) to shopping addicted gf

Ik these are kinda specific to me but… IT’S FOR MY BIRTHDAY 🥺 you’re also a day ahead of me so if you get it done Thursday then I won’t even know the difference 😽

OK TY 🫶 MWAH

Learning a language for you

Alfred

In the beginning, he’ll learn simple phrases and say them to you for shits and giggles. But as the relationship gets more serious, he’ll want to get fluent to connect with you on a deeper level. Alfred will study regularly and hold conversations with you in your native tongue to practice his speaking. He’s a natural at learning languages to the point that it’s shocking. He can even nail the four Chinese intonations, so imagine just how easy Spanish is for him as an English speaker. Fast forward a few years, and he’ll be speaking rapid-fire Spanish with you like a native.

Mathias

Like Alfred, he’ll start with beginner-level words before eventually going pro. It may take him a little longer to get it down pat, but he needs to be a part of your culture to feel close to you. He will sit down with you and repeat sentences for you until he gets it right. He also finds Spanish very sexy, so if you ever talk dirty to him he wants to be able to understand you. Mathias may want you to learn Danish for him in return, and if you do, he will be on his knees. You could even say he’s very sex-motivated, but if you asked him, he just wants to be the perfect partner for you.

Allen

Believe it or not, he’s already fluent in Spanish. He just never talks about it. Apart from knowing his native language, he’s always lived around Spanish-speakers. And as a person who is deeply involved with his community, it’s a given that he will eventually catch onto the local lingo. After learning about where you’re from, he’ll randomly come up to you one day and drop a whole-ass sentence in Spanish before walking off again. Allen does this to get your undivided attention, and it works like a charm even after the first time. Otherwise, he will occasionally speak Spanglish.

Matt

He’s terrible at learning languages, and it’s even harder for him when it’s not one of his special interests. So he may just like other aspects of your culture, i.e., the food, but he won’t put a lot of effort into it. You can take advantage of this by talking shit about him in Spanish in front of him. Matt may not understand what you said, but he’ll know you’re mad at him. But as the years go by, he’ll want to take it seriously and study in secret. He doesn’t want you to know just how much he’s trying for you, and also because he might not even get good at it. But he’ll get it one day.

When he falls into a zoo enclosure

I have no clue how to do this one but here’s one with Matt 💀

Matt

He’s too clever and self-aware to ever fall into a zoo enclosure, but he would no doubt try and save someone who did. Especially a small child. He will jump over the fencing, swim across the moat, pick them up and run to safety, but more importantly, before an innocent animal gets put down. He will literally put himself between a bear and armed men like Owen Grady from Jurassic World. After the situation simmers down, you’re treating him for the few injuries he’s sustained, and it’s the most interesting conversation you’ve ever had. He’s clearly got a few screws loose, but he’s the one who thinks everybody else is crazy.

When he teaches you how to drive

Alfred

He’s not a perfect teacher, but he really does try. Some days, you pick up on things fast and well, but on other days, he’s like Noah teaching Allie how to drive a truck. You two are screaming at each other and he doesn’t care to hide how he feels about your lack of driving skills. Alfred can have short fuse when it comes to what he can’t relate to or empathize with, but at the same time, he’s sensitive toward what he can. Needless to say, he will apologize and encourage you to keep learning from him because he has faith in you. If you can do everything else, you can drive a car.

Mathias

He’s very patient when it comes to teaching you how to drive. He understands how hard it can be because he struggled a little in the beginning too. If you break suddenly, stall, or run over a curb, he will just tell you calmly what you’re doing wrong. He also has really fast reflexes when the situation calls for it, so he’ll steer you back to safety. Mathias will spend an hour or two instructing you before taking over and driving home. If you don’t make a lot of progress, he’ll always say that he can be the driver in the relationship and you can be his passenger princess, so don’t worry.

Allen

He’s a safety first kind of guy. He’ll get you to tick all the boxes, even when he doesn’t always do that himself. For that, he’s also really patient. Allen would much rather sleep soundly knowing you’re safe on the road and not getting into an accident. In the event of minor collision, he’ll take the blame (he’s the one with a full license) and speak with the person you just crashed into, then get back in and sit in silence for a while. As much as he loves you, he tells you that it might be best that you take a break from driving. He can afford only so many repairs, so he’ll just make it so that you won’t need to go anywhere without him.

Matt

He isn’t the best teacher in the world, especially when driving comes so naturally to him. He just doesn’t understand why you can’t do it like him. So it’s no walk in the park when you’re sitting in the truck, listening to him yell at you after you make the same mistake again. You might end up crying by the end of it, but he’ll make it up to you by kissing you for hours back in his cabin. Matt will tell you that he’ll keep teaching you even if you’re bad at driving, because there’s no other person around to. Even then, he eventually gets you to improve despite his unorthodox methods.

When you go shopping

Alfred

He may not look like it, but he does enjoy a good shop. He’s just more selective about it. Alfred will give you some helpful advice if you ask him if you should buy something. But if it makes you happy, he wouldn’t hold it against you. After all, he has a a niche and expensive hobby himself. Collector’s items. Film and video game memorabilia. He’s up to date on all the pre-orders of exclusive merch he wants, and he’s won a few auctions. He enjoys the thought of owning items that someone else wanted but missed out on. He finds it hilarious as he runs off of punitive measures of success.

Mathias

He’s an enabler because he has just as bad of a shopping addiction. When you’re together, you burn through your money twice as fast. He has a bad habit of buying things he finds cute and not necessarily useful, but he can’t resist the rush of dopamine he gets from an occasional splurge. Mathias doesn’t see an issue with pampering himself every now and then, and definitely not you. At the end of the day, you two will have a giant stockpile of unused and decorative goods somewhere at home. Is this a sign of the end, or just the beginning of a long and comfortable life?

Allen

Allen is a bit of a mixed bag. First of all, he wants to spoil you, and anything you wanna buy, he will want to buy for you. He won’t question the things you like, nor make you feel bad. But the problem is, he’s not very liquid. Allen will feel super guilty because of it, especially when he has to talk you out of a store. It’s not his fault for not being able to afford everything you want, but he takes it to heart because he feels like it’s his responsibility to provide for you. Just for his sake, you might consider being a bit more conservative so he doesn’t stay up all night thinking about it.

Matt

Matt has probably gone shopping in a mall four times in his life. But online? Never. If you need something, he’ll just tell you he has it at home. And if not, he’ll just make it for you. If you need a pencil, he’ll sharpen a piece of graphite for you. No more expensive Japanese stationery. He’s the most frugal and resourceful person alive, so even cheap prices will turn him away. Anything that costs money will cost too much because you’re selling your soul and turning into a mindless consumer. He doesn’t eat processed food either, so he’s out here living like Captain Fantastic.

[bebacebe]

letter to my 13 year old self

ft. yuuji itadori!!

cw. lil bit of angst, crying, fluffy, reader is itadori’s girlfriend, insecurity, lowercase intended, mentions of possible burning.

-authors note-

plsplsplspls PLEASE feedback is very much appreciated!! reblogs and comments also help a lot!! my first fic/drabble ever, hope you like it!! xx

moving to japan, or really moving at all at such a young age is bound to be tough. but what didn’t help was realizing just how different you really were.

how your curls would make you stick out in a room full of pin straight hair, how when you did hit puberty it was different from the other girls. you were “too full” in some places, while the other girls stayed nearly flat as a stick. how your sun kissed skin was blinded by the surroundings fair and milky complexion, no matter how hard you scrubbed. you were different, and that was okay. but… as always, progress and growth comes with some off days. days where you feel like your 13 again.

it was one of those days again. where you’d feel too bizarre to be out with how you look. you figured you’d might burn your hair off with how many times you’ve gone over it with the straightener. barely managing to escape a third degree burn, you drop it in shock once yuuji bursts the door to your dorm open, his excitement just making you even more embarrassed.

“baby, gojo just gave us 15000 yen as pocket cha-” he nearly giggled in excitement before looking up from the band of colorful money, seeing you on the verge of breaking down, the straighter steaming next to you. in hindsight, you probably looked crazy, half your hair poorly straightened, eyes red and teary and cheeks rosy and wet. “what happened?” he asks worriedly, his smile dropped as he rushes over to you.

sniffling, you wipe your tears with the back of your hand, looking up at him pitifully. “i-i dunno. ‘m just tired of looking like this, y’know?” you mumble, looking into the mirror of your vanity and picking at your curls. he stares at you, confused, before squishing your cheeks in his big palm, turning your head up towards him. “no, i don’t know.” he stubbornly replies, causing you to roll your eyes. “wouldn’t i look prettier with straight hair? or… or a nice, straight nose?” you elaborate, voice muffled by your cheeks. he blinks at you, thoroughly confused, and even a little annoyed with the thought. “i don’t think it’s possible for you to look prettier.” he truthfully remarks, watching as you nearly laugh, removing his hands from your cheeks and turning your head before he stops you, cupping them again, this time gently and carefully.

“im being serious, y/n. why would you wanna look like those boring ‘ole girls anyways? their skin doesn’t glow like yours. their hair doesn’t bounce with every step, its so boring. even their smiles are boring. why would you wanna be boring when you can be you? and anyways, i literally have pink hair, but do you think im weird? or ugly?” he muses, rambling on about you with furrowed eyebrows and a serious expression.

you nearly burst out in tears again, smiling at his words as you coo his name lovingly, watching as his face immediately brightens with yours. he squishes your cheeks again, smooching your lips with a big “mwah!”, his smile widening as you snicker a “gross!” at his wet kiss. he lets go of your face, hands trailing down to your hands. “you’re different, not weird.” he finishes tying up your hair carefully to hide the straightened pieces, and this time you beat him to the kiss. he wipes your lingering tears with his other hand, pulling you up by the hand and interlocking his fingers with yours, a wide smile on both of your faces.

“now c’mon, nobara said we should spend this money before gojo realizes how much he gave us.”

[graceofgondor]

Hi bsf !!

I saw that you’ve been posting a lot about The Sound of Music recently. So I wanted to ask you, what are your top 5 favorite musicals??

It can be movie musicals or stage productions, either works! I hope you had/have the best day ever, mwah🩵

HIII tysm for the ask bsf this is fun!!

My top 5 musicals are sooo basic I fear but here it goes haha.

Newsies - (the movie not the live show... unfortunately the live show disappointed me.) kenny ortega's direction is just soo underrated!! (plus the choreo, set/costume design, story, and OFC soundtrack is to die for) and christian bale is one of my faves <3

The Sound of Music - (obv!!!) I am yet to see it on broadway but I hope I can see the upcoming revival! (I've seen my old high school do it but that doesn't really count lol) I love the film so much though its so timeless and magical <33 honestly between it and newsies they're like little parasites in my brain, I'm soo obsessed they just never get old for me.

Hamilton - (yesss the most basic one on here) I just saw it live a few weeks ago and it was FANTASTIC. both the music and the technical aspects are just incredible. it's popular for a reason!! plus obviously I adore the proshot too and have listened to the soundtrack for years.

Mamma Mia! - I was in the ensemble for this one when I was in high school and it was sooo fun!! obviously the movie is great too, that was my introduction to it. i'm seeing it live for the first time in a couple of months, so so excited. I know it's a jukebox musical but it's arguably the best one so it's kind of hard to complain haha.

Back to The Future - a more recent one but omg this one blew me away when I saw it a few months ago!! I hadn't really listened to the soundtrack (aside from huey lewis ofc) or known much about it at all and it shocked me so much! if you ever get a chance to see it I would highly recommend. it's one of my fav movies so I had decently high expectations and yet they delivered!! our george mcfly was so insanely good too so props to him for being "coordinately-uncoordinated" as my friend said haha. plus the technical aspects are literally insane and sooo creative! (the delorean actually flies in the air if you see it on broadway, which they obviously can't do touring but even without it the pulley system was crazy)

i have a habit of preferring movie versions of musicals and i'm not sure if that's just the film girl in me or if it's simply because until very recently i had few opportunities to see any live. newsies is it's own story because it started as a movie-musical, but otherwise yeah idk something about the movie versions man </3

anyway yeah that's my top 5!! tbh we could put newsies and tsom on their own pedestal cause i love them a little extra 🙈

ty again for the ask!!

[tonycries]

THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH TONY I CAN SEE IT BETTER NOW ❤️ it fits better too, I think!

Aaaaanyways. How was your day? Have you eaten? Drank water? Slept? Taken a break? Take care of yourself Tony! We can’t have you getting sick again.

Speaking about illnesses, this medicine major anon caught a cold on the weekend and is still recovering wahhhh 😭 I can breathe now so it’s okay.

Anyways! MWAHHHH congrats on 42k followers!

Many tissues later,

- mma (sick edition)

YAYYY I'M GLAD HEHEHE <33 And yeah ty for pointing out that the ask button was a lil' hard to see, because I think it looks closer to the theme colors now too!!

And ahhh I'm doing well, guess what? Got a full eight hours of sleep yes yes standing ovation for daddy Tony I know 😼

Also noooo you must've caught it (virtually) from me 😭 Smhsmh I hope you get well soon, lovely!! Drink a lot of water and keep yourself rested okay, mwah 💕

[finifugue]

hello, I hope you're having a nice day! i finally summoned the courage to express my undying gratitude towards you for writing all those amazing fics after i cried no less than a dozen times to event horizon. this ask has no apparent purpose than to thank you for the gifts you have given to mankind so freely and to inform you that if you even find a way to make that one segment in event horizon on humans, love and space into an injection i can put into my veins, i would like it immediately, please. your writing is just. so profound and human that it makes me feel like my ribcage is collapsing upon itself when i read it (in a good way). i'm actually scared to reread death and other lies because i'm afraid i'll get a heart attack or something equally serious at watching the two idiots pine. i also could not thank you enough for boosting the sacrificial lamb economy by writing the dreamers of dreams. it is peak sacrificial lamb, and i will forever be in awe of how you balance the archaic writing/speaking style with the natural dynamic and cadences of the characters. when i started out reading your fics for the first time, with every new fic i read i always thought "this is it, this is the peak of fiction, i will never read another fic that would even match this" and then i click into another fic of yours and am once again proven gladly wrong. i could honestly sing praises about your fics for days and not tire.

anyways, have a great day!! sorry for the ramble :]

Aaaah ty!!! Event horizon was one of my more freaky deaky existential fics, so I’m glad y’all liked it (: (: (: Weirdly though, I’m kind of most proud of dreamer of dreams, even though it’s (iirc) my second-least read fic for f1, just ahead of the chicago-inspired one that even I can’t remember the name of even though I wrote it. It was a challenge to write, and i had the archaic english grammar forms wikipedia page open the entire time, but it was super fun to write in a style different from my usual 0:

Unfortunately I haven’t been able to do a whole lot of writing lately since I’m on holiday in malaysia and highkey have food poisoning which has meant I’ve spent most of my time recently either doing fun tourist things or suffering slowly kneeled in front of a toilet, but I’ll be home next week so I’m gonna try and get the next chapter of charming prince piastri out quick!!! Hopefully it won’t take me the entire gotdamn year to get it out this time, unlike event horizon.

Mwah mwah love you all <3

[gingerpeachtea]

🦀🧳✨

AIRPORT CRAB HIIIII AIRPORT CRAB!! six sentences :) once again from my 1am mikecharlie polyverse drabble

Charlie blew out a drifting string of smoke. It hung in the air, [something something words description], and she watched the wind carry it away, watched it dissipate. Met his eyes with a [adj] look over her shoulder. “We’ve just been through a lot of shit, y’know?” She sniffed, and flicked ash on the ground, her eyes following the fading embers down. Mike’s lips twisted.

(make me write!!)