#Apl

[aceandarothingies]

If you feel that your asexuality, aromanticism, aplatonic identity, or any other label, is connected to your disability, you are valid and I wish you a fantastic disability pride month.

[whoopsie-collective]

Platoweird

A term for when one experiences platonic attraction, but in a non normative way. May or may not be considered aplspec.

Romoweird

A term for when one experiences romantic attraction, but in a non normative way. May or may not be considered arospec.

Erosweird

A term for when one experiences sexual attraction, but in a non normative way. May or may not be considered acespec.

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The yellow/green/purple are taken from the apl/aro/ace flags respectively, and are more pastel to resemble the unlabeled flag, as these terms are purposely vague.

The off white represents how the individual who identifies with this terms attraction is considered "off".

The pink represents attraction, because I've seen pink be used to represent sexual, romantic, and platonic attraction.

[our-aplatonic-experience]

this might be a little bit of a vent, I hope that's ok, if not please don't feel pressured to post it

I'm apl. But I'm also the kind of person who has absolutely ZERO tolerance for bullying or even being mean or shit-talking behind people's backs, which I feel drives a lot of vulnerable people towards me, like they're looking for some kind of "protection" from me, or at least seeing me as a safe person. Which I absolutely hate hate hate hate HATE. Like ok, I can call the person who made a rude comment about your outfit a piece of shit, bc I would've done that anyway, but I DON'T want to hang out later oh my god. And like it's already hard to explain to the average person that I'm not interested in friendship, but with someone I know is super sensitive to rejection??? Literally impossible.

So I try to let them down gently, to let the relationship die out on its own, but I'm usually their only or one of their few friends (while they're very often extroverts with MASSIVE social needs who would like to have more friends but don't know how to, for example bc of autism), so they let me get away with ANYTHING, not texting back for weeks, cancelling every single hangout, only answering with "yes" or "no" and with zero enthusiasm, god literally anything. And then paradoxically their desperation makes me even more repulsed by them. But I can't just tell them I don't want to be friends now can I??? Bc that's gonna crush them and discourage them from ever trying to make new friends again.

And like if only aplatonicism was a widespread thing everyone knew about, this whole thing could've been so easily avoided, I could just explain that I'd hate being friends with anyone, not just them in particular, that they're absolutely not the problem and that they're a wonderful person etc. But fuck, even on tumblr, site filled to the brim with queer people, most aren't accepting of apl people (I feel like that's slowly changing, so that's nice), so you want me to believe someone irl would be?? I live in what's often called the most culturally conservative city in my country, and the country itself is in fucking eastern europe. So even if this specific kind of person is not very likely to call me an "attention seeking faker making up labels" to my face, they're still not gonna believe that aplatonicism is a real thing. So they're gonna think I'm just making up an excuse to not be their friend bc I hate them bc they're actually such a lame person etc etc. So that means I'll just hurt them anyway.

And it's not like they're all some innocent uwu babies incapable of any harm, by coming out to them I'd be exposing a vulnerable part of myself that could very easily be used against me if they spread this information to other people, and I can 100% see how a person who just got friendship-rejected would hate that other person and want to take "revenge" on them. This already happens with romantic rejections quite often, so if we take into account the fact that friendships are usually taken for granted and people kinda feel entitled to friendship of those around them, this has massive potential for ending horribly for me.

And like, I feel horrible for shit talking them like this, especially since I know these are people that have it way worse than me, but at the same time, when I get fed up with them and really angry I can't help but think they kinda did this to themselves, immediately assuming a few lukewarm positive interactions in a forced proximity setting (such as school work etc) mean we're gonna be best friends forever.

God it felt so good to let ot all out omg

.

[dissecnalyst]

Guess what I saw:

SLEEP, ALONE

SLEEP.

ALONE.

SLEEP ALONE 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥‼️‼️

[angelheart-bunny]

people who deserve more respect and recognition:

intersex people

trans men

aromantic people

multigender people

people in qpr's

aplatonic people

[auggator]

not having sex is morally neutral. having sex is morally neutral

not engaging in romance is morally neutral. engaging in romance is morally neutral

not having friends is morally neutral. having friends is morally neutral

[thetisming]

people who exclude straight trans people and straight aspec people are my worst enemies. btw

[dabouse]

happy pride to

male aspecs - your existence isn't sad, and you aren't an incel.

female aspecs - you aren't a prude

non-binary aspecs - you guys are real, seen, and valid

aspecs who are loveless - you aren't any less human

aspecs who are very loving - you aren't faking it

aroallos - you aren't just a whore

alloaces - you aren't just celibate

aplatonics - you're not any less valid than other aspecs

happy pride to all aspecs!

[bloomshroomz]

Imagine

[aromantic-spinda]

A podcast run by an asexual, an aromantic, and an aplatonic called "AAA" and every time an episode starts, one of them welcomes the audience by screaming into the mic

"hello and welcome to AAA!"

[loveless-arobee]

The answer to aspecs asking you to stop assuming [thing] about all aspecs is not to start assuming [opposite of thing] about all aspecs btw.

"Stop assuming all AlloAros have a lot of sex (or "are sluts")" does not mean "Start assuming no AlloAro has lots of sex" and also not "No AlloAro ever feels comfortable calling themselves a slut (or whore or w/e)" and vice-versa.

"Stop assuming all aros are loveless and non-partnering" does not mean "start assuming all aros do love ("in non-romantic ways") and are always partnering" and vice-versa.

"Stop assuming all aces are sex-repulsed" does not mean "start assuming all aces are sex-favourable", and vice-versa.

"Stop assuming all aplatonic people want to make friends" does not mean "start assuming no aplatonic people want to make friends" and vice-versa.

"Stop assuming all [aros or aces, mostly*] experience no [romantic or sexual, mostly*] attraction" does not mean "start assuming all [aros or aces] experience some form of [romantic or sexual attraction]" and vice-versa.

[Continue ad infinitum; these are just some examples and listing all things like that would be impossible.]

Just stop making assumptions about people based on one part of their identity. If they decide they want you to know, they'll tell you. If you want to know, you can ask, and maybe they'll give an answer (don't act like you're owed one, tho).

Accept that all people are different and even people under the same queer identity are going to have a vastly different experience; especially vast umbrellas like the aspec-identities. Instead of taking what one aspec person says about their identity as true for everyone under that same identity and then taking everything else as a "contradiction" to that label, or as something that needs another or a different label, simply accept that different people are going to have a different experience even if they use the same words to describe them.

It's really not that hard.

[*I think this may also apply to other aspec-identities (aplatonic, afamilial, atertriary, etc), right? I see these takes mostly inside of and directed at aro- and ace-spaces; but it also seems like it just applies across the board, non-aro and non-ace aspec-identities are just lesser known and thus not discussed as often.]

[papercranesandpride]

Sometimes I remember that time the girl I sat with on the bus wanted to play with me at recess, and I didn't want that, but she wouldn't take no for an answer so I ended up having to literally run away from her all across the playground. And then somehow I got in trouble for that? I was the one who got given indoor recess and made to stay inside the next day?

Apparently consent isn't important when you're a six year old who wants to be left alone. If someone decides they're your friend, you can't actually say no. If someone refuses to take no for an answer to the point that you have to physically remove yourself from the situation? It doesn't matter. You're a bad person for not wanting to play with someone during recess. She just wants someone to play with, after all.

Hot take, but maybe the solution to bullying and kids being ostracized isn't to force kids to be friends with everyone, either. Maybe children's consent matters.

Like. I know aplatonicism isn't widely known and platonormativity is huge and pervasive, but sometimes it really hits me that I have in fact been aplatonic all my life and that's never been treated as a possibility or a thing.

[radioactive-yuri]

reflecting on it all, i really think one issue that the aspec community refuses to actually talk about (or, at least, those of us who aren't affected by it refuse to talk about) is that acceptence of aromanticism is still entirely conditional.

i'm not aplatonic myself, but even i can see how the aspec community excludes them. like, yeah, sure, being aromantic is cool!...as long as you still experience platonic attraction and have platonic relationships and replace romance with friendship at every turn.

and if you're aromantic, you also have to be asexual. because sex without romance is immoral and dirty and abusive. and every aroallo is an invader who's trying to destroy your perfect, pure, sex-negative aspec community. if an aromantic is not asexual, they are not a valid aromantic.

if you've ever found yourself wondering why aplatonics and aroallos alike have their own small communities instead of just being a part of the wider aspec community, this is why. you drove us away.

and your acceptence of aromanticism is still entirely conditional.

[flagautismguy]

alt ace-spec, aro-spec and apl-spec flags

symbols used : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

based on these flags : 1, 2, 3, 4

[our-aplatonic-experience]

my rather specific aplatonic experience is regularly guiding random new players around in videogames so they get a good experience and because its fun :D and then they ask to be friends D: and i just gotta smile and nod and accept the friend request and log off until theyre gone and hope they forget i exist.

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