#BUT WE HELPED SOME PEOPLE ... DIDN'T WE ? ( resources )

[fresne999]

Pulling out of the tags since it's relevant to a project.

Some backstory (and this will loop back evenually), the day / day after the June 14 No Kings protests, alt nat parks was posting there were 12 million protesters, which in the moment "yay!" but then after there some folks going um...really.

So, while my bias is that media under-reports protests, to be a person interested in facts is to acknowlege bias and then get data to prove / disprove said bias.

To wit, We Dissent has been running a count (as well as a fine set of protest maps) of the various mass protests. You can add values here, or see the running total here and the list of protests here.

At the time, they only had about 40% of the list filled in, and a quick glance told me they didn't have a lot of the mid-sized cities and large towns. So I got their list of events, did a comparison to what they had and started looking up location by location protests they didn't have data for. I realize there are actual organizations that do this kind of thing, but it's also not data that most of us have access to. So, having this resource updated will help in future protests to go, "hmmm...the protest I went to was x% larger than the last one, and there are y more protests, so I'd kind of expect that the total # will fall into x-y range, and if someone says "OMG ZZZ people showed up," I'll know it's a wild exageration.

Now being a completist means that I didn't want to skew the number by skipping the small very local protests happening in the small towns, which often don't have town newspapers.

A moment for the loss of local small town media.

But there is a rich source of data out there. Social media. But looking at FB means I'm also seeing the posts by the MAGA folks. Which to a fault always say, "There were only 10 people there." or "They looked so miserable," the occasional "bet they were paid" and then some often genuinely worrying threats toward those folks safety. On continued digging, the next 5-10s posts would be images of 50, 100, 200 people having a grand time with color signs.

Its a really interesting contrast between what is actually going on, versus what's actually going on. Though, at the time of writing this, their list is 64% of the way filled in. Which is better than 40%.

Germaine to all of that, a fascinating video that ties into the above about why gutting bureaucracy results in short lived empires.

I appreciate that Andor and Rogue One showed us that the bad guys aren't having a good time. Oppression is unimaginative, dull, shallow, reductive. The lies required to sustain it chafe against the moral conscience. And every scheming military officer working for the glory of the Empire is one misstep away from being tossed into the destructive machine they helped create - and they know it.

[octosan]

Hot take but if they couldn't take our Inquisition worldstates into account I might have preferred that they have something in-game explaining that Divine Victoria was assassinated a few years into her reign for being too reformist and replaced by a conservative Divine

vs what they actually did, which is to directly suggest that all three Divines had the same impact on the world and the status quo for mages and elves is right back to being terrible down south even under their leadership.

Both are depressing ideas and disrespect the divine election choice but at least the former wouldn't take Victoria (at least a Leliana or Vivienne Victoria) out of character.

[darkaac]

Fin.

[zoologica42]

Temperate Lake Dashboard Simulator

🐦‍⬛2xcrested_cormorant Follow Going to try and eat this weird fish

♻️🐦‍⬛2xcrested_cormorant Follow wilmdlife hopital

🐸rana-bufo Follow No one can ever truly understand what BULL4rog's music means to me 😭 this song in particular argrgrgrgrgrg the way he puffs out his vocal sack asdfghjk

BULL4rog: listen here on spotify ♻️🐸rana-bufo Follow I think I huave chytrid

🐟ilikeeatingminnowsFollow I just migrated here from finstagram please be nice

🐠powerbottomfeeder Follow

I have HAD IT with this lake, it’s the third day in a row we’ve had nitrates above 8 ppm and uug the algae, my allergies I can’t do this

♻️🐟carpy-diem Follow

Lol we regularly get nitrates up to 20 ppm in my lake ♻️🦞crawdaddy Follow uhhh you shouldn't be bragging about that, it's really unsafe ♻️🐟carpy-diem Follow suck it you little oligotrophic bitch

🐢snappturt Follow Dear Tumblr, am I the Basshole for the way I catch minnows? I was chatting with some of the guys I bask with and they said the way I catch minnows is problematic; What I do is I sit on the bottom of the lake, I hide myself in the mud and I open my mouth. My tongue looks a lot like a little worm so I wiggle it around- and because of that, minnows swim over and check it out. Once they get close enough, then I bite down and eat them. Some of my rockmates have told me that this is manipulative and toxic behavior- but they also eat minnows...I don't know guys...

🦆tree hole-nester-acorn-eater Follow

is it just me, or is this super homoerotic???

🐟bigpikexxl Follow liveblogging diving down to the bottom

♻️🐟bigpikexxl Follow dark

♻️🐟bigpikexxl Follow big log

♻️🐟bigpikexxl Follow rock

♻️🐟bigpikexxl Follow kinda cold

♻️🐟bigpikexxl Follow oh hi @deepwatersculpin!!!

♻️🐠deepwatersculpin Follow oh hey @bigpikexxl!!!

never thought i'd seen one of my mutuals irl!!! I didn't even know we lived in the same lake!!!

🐠Shadlad Follow I'm not sorry, and I'm not afraid to say it, if you're an introduced species, go dry yourself out. You're not welcome to eat up all of our resources and live in my ancestral longs and rock crags. These things are for us to relate to and not for you to squander.

♻️🦞crevice-steve Follow

Can't believe this type of fishcourse is still popular on this site, introduced species didn't choose to be introduced and have as much of a right to live as anyone else. Bigotry against introduced species is still bigotry and that's a hill I will dry on. ♻️🐠Shadlad Follow Go ahead, dry yourself out then ;) ♻️🪷nootnootnewt Follow Hey man, I hate invasive species as much as anyone else but please stop telling people to beach themselves for political reasons- yeah that includes inavsives too ♻️🦐typical_scud Follow Did you legit just use the word Invas*ve to describe introduced species? ♻️🦢flatfootswimmer Follow anyone in this thread eat pondweed?

♻️🐟largemouthbASS Follow A colab with my mutual @2xcrested_cormorant after they got released from the wildlife hospital. They haven't been on much since the Fish and Wildlife Service released them in the wrong lake and it took them a while to get back to their colony. We hope this guide will help you avoid accidentally eating/engaging with bait!

[strangebiology]

Success is Dependent on Secret Information

A lot of career success depends on you and the work you put into it, as well as luck beyond your control, but sadly, it also depends on secret information, magic words, and stupid little tricks.

That's not fair. I don't like it, but we can help by sharing that secret information--which is the antidote to gate-keeping. That's why I recently wrote this in my Authors of Nonfiction Books in Progress substack:

It can be really disheartening to realize that, when you thought you failed at something because you didn't do well enough, other people had the magic words. For instance, some injustices I've witnessed (that may or may not always be the case, or maybe not anymore!) include:

A good athletic score doesn't get you into a college sport--having a coach or parent talk to the college coach is mandatory

Many school-sponsored scholarships are often not tightly linked to grades, test scores, or financial need, but whether the student said the right words ("I can't afford that") to the right person (presumably some financial office person.)

Apparently, some aspects of some degrees are cheated on by most students (if that's the case, we should tell all students that it's ok to cheat on that so they don't waste their time on something that apparently wasn't important anyway, or worse, fail out just for being ethical.)

Especially related to books: Few people will mention that you can get grants! Not my agent, not my publisher, not the 1 zillion "pros and cons of trad publishing" articles out there mentioned grants (Grant eligibility is a HUGE benefit of trad publishing.) I got more money from grants than my entire book advance!

Let me know what magic words/secret knowledge you've learned, that you wish you knew sooner. Or: the widespread understanding of what information would make a field more fair?

And please share ANBIP with anyone writing, publishing, or seriously about to start writing, a nonfiction non-memoir book, especially if they're interested in the more practical side (I share more about resources and strategy than craft.)

[mosa668]

Save my family 🍉📌

‏hello I'm Musa Muhaisen, I'm 54 years old, I'm the father of a family of six, Wafaa Amir Nader Anas, and my wife. The financial situation before the craft was very good, and now because of what happened after October 7, the financial situation has become very bad, we have suffered a lot since the beginning of the war, and I cannot secure what will drive my children's hunger. We are from Khan Yunis, but the situation was safe here at first, after about three months, he ordered the evacuation to the entire Khan Yunis area. We had to migrate to the city of Rafah. We went to an area called Flower Hill. We couldn't find any shelter at first, but we were able to get some pieces of cloth and sew it with some cloth and sew it with some tent. Imagine six people living in a tent filled with cold. We didn't find anything to eat for it, and the situation was very difficult. After about a month, an evacuation order came to the area where We were Waren to go to an area called the North Decision Khan Yunis. We said we had 500 dollars and it was spent out of an area in Rafah to go to the decision area. The distance was two hours after we left everything behind without clothes or a tent, and we wanted three days in the decision below the centenary in the extreme cold. My son Amir was subjected to serious skin diseases, we suffer from malnutrition and we were able to a year of tent New using some fabrics and sewing them. After that, after we were entrusted with getting some food from the aid, after about a month, the occupation carried out a major military operation in Al-Qara. We had to go to an area called Al-Alam in Rafah. We set up tents there. The situation was very bad because of pollution due to the lack of food resources from the difficulty of life there, and then came the news that I am Khan Younis. It became safe. We returned to Khan Younis. Unfortunately, we did not find it from our house there, it was a partial destroyer, but we set up our tents here and the situation is now under zero until the food is difficult to find it, so I hope that everyone will help us now, the weather is very cold. I want you to donate For me to buy driving clothes for children and buy blankets I appreciate the interest and I trust that you will not take thank you very much

✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #506 )✅️

[cheftsunoda]

heal your heart—cl16

smau + real life

carlos sainz x !sister singer reader

charles leclerc x sainz reader

catalina sainz has it all— she is a successful grammy award winning artist, her brother is a well known formula 1 driver, she has an amazing family and wonderful friends. she was also blessed with a fiance and a beautiful baby boy.. she had everything.. until she didn't. her fiance disappears and takes her son with him. catalina watches as her world crumbles...who will be there to help pick up the pieces?

fc : kali uchis

part two here

part three here

part four here

—

deuxmoi posted an update!

liked by 2,593,583 people.

deuxmoi : sources report that this blind item is about catalina sainz..yikes..let us know what you think!

—

username : NOOOO MY SHAYLAAAAAA....my poor baby

username1 : she has been so happy since becoming a mother...you can tell that baby is her whole world. he NEEDS to return that baby NEOWWW. i do not play about miss catalina.

username4 : he took the kid too? that is not just a breakup, that’s a custody crisis. hope she has a good lawyer.

username7 : Y’all love gossip until it’s your fave going through it. This is heartbreaking if true.

username14 : This is why you don’t rush into engagements with people who love the spotlight more than you do. He was just using her.

username20 : hey could you like not be a dick rn...this is her family and real life

username20 : hope and pray this isn’t true. she always seemed like such a devoted mom. taking the child? next level cruel.

username15 : okkkk but who is this fiancé? if u r bold enough to cross the Sainz family and take a child, you better lawyer up and hide...

username : the funny thing is... he is not even famous so he would be using her money to hire a lawyer

username15 : mans is TOAST

username24 : carlos' jet just left for japan...and the drivers are not even supposed to be at the track for another 4 days or so..

liked by author

username10 : ohhh shittt

username17 : i know lando is somewhere fuming... that man do not play about the sainz'

—

twitter thread!

f1gossipgirls : THREAD: The Catalina Sainz Situation – What We Know, What We Think We Know, and What Might Happen Next.

Buckle up. This one’s messy. (1/10)

So here’s the deal...rumors broke this week that Catalina Sainz—is dealing with a secret breakup and a custody issue involving her fiancé. Allegedly, he left her and took their son without warning. (2/10)

Who is the fiancé? Not confirmed, but fan detectives say he’s a lowkey entrepreneur Catalina’s been quietly seeing for a couple of years. Private IG. Almost no photos together. Suspiciously absent since March. (3/10)

Sources close to the situation say Catalina came home from a trip to LA for work and found them gone. Just a piece of paper that said he was done...Just—gone. (4/10)

Here’s where it gets interesting... Carlos has reportedly stopped following the fiancé on social media (they used to interact), and fans noticed he looked especially tense during a recent press moment and a fan interaction at the airport. (5/10)

Speaking of the aiport...Fan detectives found that Carlos' jet took off for Japan this morning when the drivers are not due at Suzuka for another 4 days...Catalina is rumored to be hiding out in Japan.

(6/10)

Some speculate Carlos has already hired lawyers to get Catalina’s son back. One tweet claims he’s “mobilizing legal resources across two countries.” If that’s true… this isn’t just messy, it’s international. (7/10)

Another theory? This was brewing for months. Catalina’s last public event appearance was in April—she looked off. No ring. No family. No fiancé. Just a carefully curated smile. Fans clocked it then. (8/10)

And let’s not forget... Carlos and Catalina are both famously private. If this went public, it’s not by his or her choice. Which might mean Catalina needs help—and someone close leaked it to apply pressure. (9/10)

Catalina Sainz may have been blindsided by her fiancé, who allegedly took their son and vanished. Carlos is probably involved behind the scenes. And this story? Just getting started. (10/10)

Stay tuned. We’re watching.

view comments

username : if a man took my kid and disappeared...i would def call my big brother too...esp if it was carlos. imagine trying to hide the kid from the whole f1 community #goodluckbro

username2 :the way Carlos is probably trying to keep this under wraps but has already called every lawyer in Spain, Italy, and the UAE...

username5 : netflix pls scrap dts and make a docuseries on finding baby sainz...

netflix : not a bad idea

username7 : IF Carlos shows up to Japan GP with a baby on his hip and no explanation, I’m gonna lose it. FULL TELENOVELA ENERGY.

username14 : me drafting an international missing persons report and i don’t even know them. i am rather emotionally involved now...CAT IS SO MOTHER SHE NEEDS HER BABY

username20 : need cat to come back with a breakup anthem that shames tf outta this man like...'you took my son i took the house'

usernameee : i cannot with you - bye

—

—

twitter!

f1gossipgirls : F1 announced this morning via Twitter that Carlos Sainz will not be present for Media Day at Suzuka. Williams states that it is due to 'personal issues'.

view comments

usernamee : this man’s sister is in hiding and his nephew is missing and y’all thought he was gonna sit down and chit chat w press??

username1 : 'personal reasons' in this particular situation from carlos means 'i am currently in my liam neeson taken arc...srry yall'

username3 : its giving 'media day is canceled because i am currently tracking someone across international borders.'

username4 : williams better be ready to lie, deflect, and deny all weekend because if a single journalist asks about this, it’s over.

username14 : williams : “It’s personal reasons.” us: kk but does “personal” mean international child recovery operation or revenge-fueled manhunt? just so we’re clear...

username17 : media day being cancelled is fine but if he shows up to FP1 wearing all black and dead silent I will SCREAM.

username21 : cat is hiding in the mountains. carlos is skipping press. williams abs giving us nothing...no longer a paddock—it’s a crime scene

usernameee : IF Carlos speaks at all this weekend, i hope it’s just “he’s been found.” then pure silence.

—

transcript of james vowles speaking to the press.

press : “James, can you comment on Carlos Sainz’s withdrawal from media duties today? There’s been a lot of speculation.”

jv : “Carlos is an incredibly dedicated driver. When he misses something, there’s always a good reason. Out of respect for him, I think it’s best we let him speak on it directly.”

press :

"Will he be completely pulling out of the race this weekend?"

jv :

"I am not sure the answer to that at this time. I will communicate who will be driving as soon as Carlos reaches out again."

press : “Is it true he's left the circuit entirely?”

jv : “Well, I can’t confirm anyone’s location—I’m not in charge of tracking my drivers,” “but I can tell you that williams supports him, whatever the circumstances may be.”

press : “So… is he okay?”

jv : “I think he’s doing what needs to be done. And I’ll leave it at that.”

—

flashback - catalina's home - madrid spain - 7:18 am

I slid gently out of the back seat of the blacked out SUV. I had just returned home to Madrid after being in LA for some work related issues. I gripped at my suitcases as I began to walk towards the front door. I was so excited to be at home. I was beyond tired and just wanted to crawl into bed and hold my son—my pride and joy.

The front door creaked open slower than usual. Maybe I was just tired. Maybe it was just the jet lag getting to me. My suitcase thunked softly against the tile as I dragged it inside. The house was still. Much too still.

No tiny socks by the couch. No squeals of welcome. No welcome home kisses pressed to my cheeks. No low hum of the TV playing in the background.

I tell myself over and over again that this silence is normal. Maybe they are napping- its early. Maybe he took him for a walk- maybe the park. I held onto that maybe with a death grip.

The air felt off...almost stiff...as if the house was even holding its breath.

"Hello?" I called out softly, hoping and praying for response. No answer not even an echo to be heard.

I stepped into the kitchen. The windows were open- he would never leave with the windows open. There was a folded piece of paper left under a mug...the mug he would always pour my tea in. I swallowed- hard.

My chest knew before my brain caught up. I reached for it slowly, my fingers like ice.

One line. Scrawled in that slanted, indifferent handwriting I used to trace on love notes.

“I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want you.”

No signature. No “I’m sorry.” No mention of the child we made together.

The edges of the paper blur. Not from tears. I haven't cried yet. I can’t. I am much too cold all of a sudden.

I fall back allowing the counter to help catch my footing. I suddenly feel my whole body go numb. I reach out and push myself up, not allowing those nine words to make me fall to my feet.

I walk the hallway in a trance and crack open the nursery door. The crib is gone. The rocking chair is gone. Even his little bear nightlight—gone. Like I had never once rocked my baby to sleep in there. Like he never existed.

I don't scream. I don't break. I just stand there, arms limp at my sides, until the silence becomes deafening.

I checked the drawers. Half empty. The wardrobe. Empty. The toy chest absolutely bare. A cold, calculated theft of love. Quiet, surgical.

I drop the note to the floor and wrap my arms around myself as I if I could protect myself from what I just experienced...protect myself from this deafening silence. I knew right then...I had to run. I couldn't live here without my baby— my joy, my reason to keep going. I didn't know where I would go but it didn't matter.

—

I booked the flight under my middle name. No return date, no checked baggage. Just my tote bag with a sweater, a passport and prescription for pills I haven't touched since I got pregnant with my son.

No one stopped me, no one even notices me. Not in the airport, not in the first class lounge, not even the flight attendant who handed me my tea and mistook my silence for sleep. If anyone looks twice, they look away just as fast. That’s the trick—move like you belong, and people won’t ask why your eyes are swollen or your hands won’t stop shaking.

Tokyo is loud, crowded, too alive. I took the first train out of the city.

A stranger on the platform told me about a village outside of Nikko- he called it peaceful and quiet. Said it was the kind of place where 'time forgets about you'. Sounds like that is exactly what I want- to be forgotten.

The train winds through mountains so green they almost look fake. Trees blur past like static. I had earbuds shoved in my ears, a hood covering my head and sunglasses so strangers won't ask why I am crying.

When I finally step off, the station is barely more than a bench and a vending machine. I breathe in silence like medicine.

The lodge is old, wood-framed, smells like steam and pine. The owner is a woman named Yui who speaks no English but offers tea and the softest futon I have ever touched. She doesn’t ask questions. Doesn’t press.

I pay for everything in cash. Leave my phone on airplane mode. No Instagram or twitter. For all I know the public still believes I am in LA living my best life.

Out here, there are no mirrors. No headlines. Just mist and mountains.

Some nights I dream of my son’s laugh—those bubbling giggles when he tried to grab my hair. Other nights, I dream of nothing at all, which hurts more.

It sits in my chest like ice.

—

present time- catalina's lodge - nikko, tochigi - 8:56 am

Did I want to tell Carlos? No. Did I realize he would come looking for me sooner or later anyways? Yes. I needed him more than I realized. The more I cry, the louder the silence gets, the more that knife in my stomach twists even more. I knew that it wasn't long before the press took note of my absence and I wanted to get ahold of Carlos before those rumors did. That's what happens when you have shitty friends who will sell you out for a single dime.

I wasted seven years of my life for a man who just wanted to see me fail, wanted to see me suffer so badly. I made him. I gave him his career. I gave him our child. Any request was instantly granted. And this is what I get? Taking my only piece of joy away from me. I bet you are wondering...Cat...did you see this coming? And the simple answer is no...he never gave any clues to being miserable in this relationship...if anything I was the one who was miserable. However, that is a story for another time.

I haven't done much since arriving here. I sit outside, I cry, I occasionally scroll through my camera roll and listen to my son's laugh. Admire the way he smiles or how his eyes would light up when he looked at me. Every repeat of the video I feel myself become more pained. I haven't eaten, I vomit if I try. Yui brings me tea and snacks every morning attempting to get me to eat. She doesn't understand but she does at the same time.

I snap out of my thoughts as I hear a car pull up. A low rumble, uneven on the gravel road. It cuts through the silence like a thread being pulled taut. I feel my breath catch in my throat. It’s early. Still dark enough for the fog to cling to the edges of the pine trees outside her window. The room creaks around me, old and wooden, smelling of cedar and steam. I stand, but slowly—like my bones don’t trust it’s real. I move to the door barefoot, heart pounding loud enough to shake my core. Almost like I forget the amount of tears I have cried. That my mouth still tastes like tea I didn’t drink. That I have not slept in nearly 36 hours.

The door cracks open and my older brother is stood in front of me- eyes locked on me like I am the only thing left tethering him to the world. I expect him to say something—ask where the baby is, what happened, why I ran—but he just looks at me. And for the first time since it all broke open, I let someone see the full ruin of me.

"You came." I choked out, my voice barely audible.

Carlos doesn't speak. He steps inside and closes the door gently. He pulls me into him with no hesitation, holding me so tight and placing a kiss on the top of my head. I let myself be held. I gripped onto him like I never wanted to let go. I buried my face in his chest and began to sob.

"My baby...my boy." I yelped mid sob as I feel my feet begin to give out. Carlos catches me and helps me over to the futon- still holding me. Never letting me go.

“I know, Cat.” He murmured as he placed a kiss on the top of my head, holding me tighter.

—

I don’t know how long we sat like this— him holding me tight against his chest as if his life depended on it and me silently sobbing into his chest. I feel myself breaking more and more slowly by the minute — the kind of break that is silent and doesn’t make a sound.

When I finally pull away and sit up, my body aches. Like letting go of my safety raft in a body of deep, deep water. I don’t look at him right away— just wrap my arms around myself staring down at the floor.

He doesn’t say anything— he just waits. Then I hear him take a deep exhale.

“I didn’t know who else to call,” I say, and the words come out like an apology. I don’t know why—I didn’t do anything wrong. Except maybe I did.

“You should’ve called me sooner.” He states, not angry, just more of a disappointed tone.

I flinch. “I was ashamed, Carlos.”

There’s a pause.

“Why?”

I let out this stupid, dry laugh. “Because I let him do it. I didn’t fight back. I didn’t even know we were in a fight.”

I glance up at him, then down again, voice thinner now. “I was in LA for four days, Carlos. Just four. Meetings. A shoot. When I got back… everything was gone. The toys. The crib. His clothes. Mine. The drawers were empty. The house was clean. Too clean. Like he planned it.”

Carlos stays silent, but his jaw is tight. I see a muscle twitch in his cheek.

“He left a note,” I whisper. “Just one line. ‘I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want you.’ No word about my son. No ‘I am sorry.’ Nothing. Just left.”

I press the heels of my hands into my eyes, trying to stop the sting that creeps up again. “I didn’t know someone could hate you that quietly.”

Carlos’s voice is low and dangerous. “Where is he?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know. I’ve called. Messaged. Emailed. Nothing. I even tried his parents. They won’t answer. They’re pretending I don’t exist. Like I lost custody or something, except—we were never married. There was never custody to lose.”

He mumbles various swear words in Spanish under his breath. Quiet and sharp.

Then, with a frightening amount of calm, “Alright, then I’ll find him.”

I blink up at him. “Carlos, you can’t.”

“I will.” His tone leaves no room for debate.

“You have a race in literally 3 days.”

“I don’t care.”

“You do care, Carlos.” I stated and rubbed my temples. “Your whole career—“

“This is more important.”

“You sound like Papá.” I muttered with half a smile.

He doesn’t smile back. His eyes are too full of something heavier. He looks…lethal.

“Good.”

And then, softer and almost gentle.

“You’re not alone, Cat. You never were. You didn’t lose him. We’re going to get him back. I swear to you.”

Something in my chest splinters. Not in a painful way—just in that awful, aching way that comes when someone offers you hope after you’ve already convinced yourself you don’t deserve it.

“I don’t know where to start,” I whisper. “I’ve looked everywhere. Checked his bank. Nothing. No charges. No flight. It’s like he vanished.”

Carlos leans forward, takes my hand. His grip is solid. Warm. “He didn’t vanish. People don’t vanish. They hide. And hiding leaves a trail.”

He says it like someone who’s spent a lifetime studying the details no one else sees. Racing lines. Different curves in every single track he’d ever raced. Tire degradation. Now— my ex.

I close my eyes. Let the silence settle around us again. The wind brushes the paper screens, and somewhere outside, a crow calls once, sharply.

“I was afraid if I told you, it would make it real,” I admit.

He doesn’t let go of my hand. “Mi Cariño, It’s already real. But now it’s not yours to carry alone.”

For the first time in days, I believe that might be true.

I let out a shaky breath, and for a moment, we just sit there. Two siblings in a borrowed room, far from everything we know, quietly starting to piece together a way back.

—

this will be a little mini series - probably 3 or 4 parts. i genuinely cried while writing this... i feel like it is some of my strongest writing. let me know what you all think so far!

tag : @klauslovemepls @omgsuperstarg @msliz @samanthaofanarchy , @mayax2o07 @goldenstrawberryx , @hannahmotors10 @alireads27 , @1800-love-me , @htpssgavi @cmgmikealson , @babygirl-4986 , @star73807-blog , @glow-ish , @just-tingz-virgo , @majapapaya4 @lina505 , @hc-dutch , @lost4lyrics , @angelluv16 @dilflover44

[thevoidstaredback]

Part 1

Jazz was right. Jazz was always right, but he went against here at every turn because he didn't want her to be right. But she was, and he could do nothing to change that.

One month, he'd asked for, and one month he'd been given. In that time, he'd done his best to warn the other ghosts at every turn; yelling the news at them while they fought, opening conversations with it, even going so far as to leave messages at all of their lairs. Most of them didn't listen to him. But then the attacks started.

A week after the initial law had past had gone by as they all had, albeit a bit more tense on Danny's side. Ghosts came through the portal, did some damage, fought Phantom, were captured and taken back to the Ghost Zone, only to come back the next day.

The G.I.W and the Dr.s Fenton had taken no longer than a week to plan their attacks. Now that they could take specimens kicking and screaming to their labs, they spared no resources to do just that.

Danny watched, over the course of the month, helpless as the ghosts were captured and dragged to a place he couldn't help them.

Wouldn't help them. He is, above all else, a coward.

As ironic as it was, and he knew full well the irony, their screams and expressions as they reached- screamed for his help haunted him at night, kept him awake at night.

At the end of the month, Jazz found him under his bed.She was quiet, simply there to listen should he want to talk. And, god, he wanted, needed, to scream at the top of his lungs for the whole world to hear. It's unfair what's happening to his people, friends or not. It's unfair that he has to leave lest the same fate befall himself.

"I'm such a coward," he whispered to his wall.

"Self preservation isn't the same as cowardice."

"Then why didn't I help the others? My whole thing is helping people and I-" a sob floated up and out of his throat, cutting him off, "They screamed for me and I let them be taken away."

"And they're gonna hate you for that-" Danny flinched. "-but they would have done the exact same thing should the roles have been reversed. And you did warn them. It's their own fault for not listening."

He didn't have anything to say. Jazz would argue into submission of her point whether he liked it or not, and he didn't want that. Maybe one day, but he wanted to wallow for a bit, to acknowledge his failings.

"You were right," he whispered eventually. She hummed. "I have to go.

"I know."

"I don't want to."

"I know."

"It hurts."

"And it will for a really long time, Danny, and all the words in the world can't make that go away, despite what either of us want."

"Where would I go?"

"You could always join Dani?"

"And risk world domination?"

Jazz chuckled, drawing a huff of a laugh from Danny. "Yeah, maybe it's best you two don't stay together for a long time."

A minute passed.

"I don't want to leave you guys."

"You can always message us whenever you want. Leaving doesn't mean cutting contact."

"What'll we tell mom and dad?"

"Who says we have to tell them anything?"

"They'll notice eventually."

"Then I'll tell them some approximation of the truth."

"Like what? That I'm half dead and fled the continent to get away from them?"

"That you're traveling with a friend you meet through Vlad. That you were feeling copped up in this small town and you wanted to explore."

"How're you gonna get Vlad to agree to this?"

"He will."

He wasn't going to ask. Some things were better left alone. "What'll I tell Tucker and Sam? I can't leave them in the dark!"

"We'll tell them as much of the truth as you want them to know."

"They're my best friends-"

"That doesn't entitle them to knowing things you don't want them to."

Slowly, Danny crawled from under his bed and sat next to Jazz. "I guess you're right."

"We can get you out of town tonight, but that's as far as I'll be able to follow."

"...I know."

"I love you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah." A beat. "I love you, too."

She hugged him tightly, tears that he didn't mention wetting his hair.

Part 3

[genderqueerdykes]

so something that was more common in the past in queer spaces was ally pride. people were often very proud allies! they were often family members, best friends, partners, neighbors, co-workers, anyone really. maybe they just support queer people regardless. there's a lot of reasons why people support us, there's no reason to judge.

i feel like there's been this exhausting outlook on things where we have to immediately take things in bad faith because there's no way someone else had our best interest in mind. people have become very resistant to the idea of interacting with people who aren't exactly like them and it's disturbing. that is not how to approach community. that fosters arguments and drama.

also i don't like that some people don't like the idea of allies being at pride or calling themselves "proud allies" or whatever like that's not embarrassing, they should be proud, because they're refusing to hold us down. how's that embarrassing? we have to be kinder to one another. it's really over. this hostility is not where it's at. this is not the spirit of things at all. in the past it was not like this at all

there was a lot of diversity in queer spaces because they didn't really have the largest physical locations possible and often had to deal with minimal resources, so specialized groups were not always possible. generally you were mingling with everyone. you would have to just sort of talk to people and socialize. the first people i met at my college's pride group was an agender transfem person, 2 cis gay drag queens, 3 cis gay men two of which were asexual, a cis butch lesbian, a cis femme lesbian, & 2 cis bisexual women.

you just kinda talked to whoever, and that was a good thing. i saw parents, friends, kids, relatives all the time. it was super normal. like nobody was pestering you for your identity. legitimately i never came out the whole way about my gender when i was there i just tried to be gender vague and people understood. i didn't get heckled for my terms or pronouns i mostly told people i was genderqueer and they'd be like oh yeah totally. and then we'd go get sandwiches at a restaurant after the meeting was over.

there's a severe lack of connection we're having as a community right now. there's a breakdown in communication and it makes us suffer for it. i think it's time to shelve the needless hostility and just have conversations. i'm guilty of it it too. i dont want to say im excluded from this. but we need to just talk and then maybe we can get to the part where we go back to living as queer people and eating food together instead of interrogating people for everything down to what their genitals were at birth or are right now. it's time to shelve it.

we seriously do need to make room for pride and joy. the anger and rage isn't helping if it's being directed at each other- it need to be directed at people who are oppressing us, not the people we target right now. men who are allies, trans men, transmascs, male lesbians, transfems, trans women, intersex men, gay men, bisexual men, men of color, and disabled men, aren't the people who are holding us down, your target is elsewhere.

let us express joy and pride for once. it's okay to do so. it's constructive and healthy.

[mylordshesacactus]

Okay, I didn't want to clog up the notes of someone else's post with something tonally different because that's rude, but. I Need to elaborate some more about no-kill vs open-intake shelters because I feel like some people still don't get it.

I'm gonna use an example here: My cat, Nepenthe, came from a small municipal open-intake shelter (I don't use the term "kill shelter" because I think it's obscene and cedes ground to ARA fuckwits for no reason) in an area with a NOTORIOUSLY awful stray cat problem.

She was on the euthanasia list. She was next in line on the euthanasia list.

They would never have been cruel or manipulative enough to say it that baldly, of course, but...I can read. Status was "at rsk", with two days' grace before ticking over into "extreme risk", the red zone. The ones who have had the most time, the most chance, if the shelter ever runs out of cage space.

I have gone the fuck off on people who hear that and immediately assume I will tolerate them bashing or insulting that shelter.

Because here's the thing about Penny. She is my baby, my darling, light of my life, and if I hadn't come along, euthanizing her would have been not only necessary but an ethical obligation.

She was neurotic, traumatized, and unpredictably aggressive--not "I'm bad at feline body language and ignoring her subtle back-off signals" unpredictable, I mean "we showed footage to a professional feline behaviorist and their immediate reaction was 'oh that is NOT normal'" unpredictable. "Actual legitimate psychological problems" unpredictable. The previous three times she had met with potential adopters, she attacked them unprovoked and had to be recaptured by a vet tech wearing a bite sleeve designed for aggressive dogs. She was the textbook definition of unadoptable.

She could not be fostered. There was absolutely no way she could live in a home with small children, or older children, or an elderly person with thin skin, or anyone who would get upset if they were clawed in the face without warning every few days.

Now, here's some math for you, keyboard warrior writing up a condescending screed about how there's Never Any Excuse for euthanizing a healthy animal:

The average length of stay in that shelter, for a healthy cat, was roughly two weeks. Which means, on average, assuming fast turnover, a single cage space in that shelter can save the lives of 24 cats every year.

Penny, when I met her, had been there for 43 days. A month and a half. Three times the average length of stay.

I love her. She has improved my life immeasurably and there is nothing I wouldn't do for her. Her life is not more valuable than the lives of the other 23 cats who might have been saved by the slot she was taking up. Euthanasia, if space had run out, would have been the only ethical option.

(Yes, obviously I DID show up and I DID choose her. But frankly? I was a grad student with a psychology degree, studying to be a therapist, living alone, no plans to have kids, a private room where she wouldn't have to interact with other people or animals, de-facto engaged to a professional animal behaviorist; I was ACTIVELY LOOKING for an edge-case project cat, and could calmly and intelligently articulate my understanding of the seriousness of her behavior and my plan for helping her. You can't count on that happening. I was a fucking unicorn.)

No-kill shelters have the INCREDIBLE luxury of deciding who to save. They have the luxury of having all the time in the world to wait. And in the meantime, what exactly do you think is happening to the other animals? The ones they DON'T pick? The ones there's no room for? Do you think they magically don't need to be surrendered anymore? Does Santa Claus find them a home, perhaps?

You can't reduce the life of an animal to math. Good, ethical no-kill shelters can be wonderful resources--either taking highly-adoptable animals from open-intake shelters to free up space as efficiently as possible, or else taking in behaviorally or medically complicated dogs who need more time to find their perfect match than open-intake shelters can give.

But if you're going to shit on open-intake shelters, you don't get to be a fucking coward about it. So here. Prove how much smarter you are.

You've run out of space. Every cage is full. The cat cannot be fostered. You've filled all your available foster slots with other cats, to buy her time. The "no-kill" shelters are full--they pulled the cats they thought they could save, and the scruffy, psychologically-unsound, adult black domestic shorthair with chronic herpes? Nobody wants her. In this world her unicorn's not coming.

She's had three times as long as every other cat here. You have given her every chance, wrote her a lovely bio, moved other cats to other shelters to keep space open so you didn't have to make this choice; but she mauled someone else today and there's a sweet, cuddly, highly-adoptable tabby with no problem behaviors being checked in right now. If you can't put that new cat somewhere it's going to be euthanized without even being given a chance, even though it is extremely adoptable and would likely find a new home within a week.

You don't have a magic wand. You can't wish a conveniently empty second shelter into existence. Every option has been exhausted.

Look me in the eye, and tell me which one dies.

[bi-writes]

whats wrong with ai?? genuinely curious <3

okay let's break it down. i'm an engineer, so i'm going to come at you from a perspective that may be different than someone else's.

i don't hate ai in every aspect. in theory, there are a lot of instances where, in fact, ai can help us do things a lot better without. here's a few examples:

ai detecting cancer

ai sorting recycling

some practical housekeeping that gemini (google ai) can do

all of the above examples are ways in which ai works with humans to do things in parallel with us. it's not overstepping--it's sorting, using pixels at a micro-level to detect abnormalities that we as humans can not, fixing a list. these are all really small, helpful ways that ai can work with us.

everything else about ai works against us. in general, ai is a huge consumer of natural resources. every prompt that you put into character.ai, chatgpt? this wastes water + energy. it's not free. a machine somewhere in the world has to swallow your prompt, call on a model to feed data into it and process more data, and then has to generate an answer for you all in a relatively short amount of time.

that is crazy expensive. someone is paying for that, and if it isn't you with your own money, it's the strain on the power grid, the water that cools the computers, the A/C that cools the data centers. and you aren't the only person using ai. chatgpt alone gets millions of users every single day, with probably thousands of prompts per second, so multiply your personal consumption by millions, and you can start to see how the picture is becoming overwhelming.

that is energy consumption alone. we haven't even talked about how problematic ai is ethically. there is currently no regulation in the united states about how ai should be developed, deployed, or used.

what does this mean for you?

it means that anything you post online is subject to data mining by an ai model (because why would they need to ask if there's no laws to stop them? wtf does it matter what it means to you to some idiot software engineer in the back room of an office making 3x your salary?). oh, that little fic you posted to wattpad that got a lot of attention? well now it's being used to teach ai how to write. oh, that sketch you made using adobe that you want to sell? adobe didn't tell you that anything you save to the cloud is now subject to being used for their ai models, so now your art is being replicated to generate ai images in photoshop, without crediting you (they have since said they don't do this...but privacy policies were never made to be human-readable, and i can't imagine they are the only company to sneakily try this). oh, your apartment just installed a new system that will use facial recognition to let their residents inside? oh, they didn't train their model with anyone but white people, so now all the black people living in that apartment building can't get into their homes. oh, you want to apply for a new job? the ai model that scans resumes learned from historical data that more men work that role than women (so the model basically thinks men are better than women), so now your resume is getting thrown out because you're a woman.

ai learns from data. and data is flawed. data is human. and as humans, we are racist, homophobic, misogynistic, transphobic, divided. so the ai models we train will learn from this. ai learns from people's creative works--their personal and artistic property. and now it's scrambling them all up to spit out generated images and written works that no one would ever want to read (because it's no longer a labor of love), and they're using that to make money. they're profiting off of people, and there's no one to stop them. they're also using generated images as marketing tools, to trick idiots on facebook, to make it so hard to be media literate that we have to question every single thing we see because now we don't know what's real and what's not.

the problem with ai is that it's doing more harm than good. and we as a society aren't doing our due diligence to understand the unintended consequences of it all. we aren't angry enough. we're too scared of stifling innovation that we're letting it regulate itself (aka letting companies decide), which has never been a good idea. we see it do one cool thing, and somehow that makes up for all the rest of the bullshit?

[leidensygdom]

Okay, we all know about the usual warlock-patron dynamics. Creature with god-like powers tries to do their bidding or further their plans through a mortal, who is often going to be troubled by the pact. But, I'm here to propose some alternatives, specially for warlock deals that aren't inherently very harmful to the warlock themself:

This one is pretty typical, but the patron is a family member. If sorcerers can get cool powers from having a dragon grandpa, your fire genasi can have an auntie who is a big fire elemental who is trying VERY hard to connect with her family now, so she gives her nephew an allowance in the form of a Genie Pact

Your patron is undead (and your pact is Undying), but this person is not some power-hungry lich. This is someone you knew in life: A friend, or perhaps a partner. You had fought for a common cause, and they met their death trying to see the end of it, but they refused to leave you alone. Now, within you, their stubbornness has kept them from moving on, and they lend their newfound powers to help you in your common cause.

It's an eldritch entity, a creature beyond your comprehension. Your pact is that of a Great Old One. However, this creature doesn't quite have very concise plans to bring the end of the world- You're actually pretty sure it isn't even from your world. As time goes on, and as you realize their whims seem erratic, you realize that this thing you get powers from is... Probably the cosmic equivalent of a child. Maybe it's still cocooning in the depths of a distant dying planet. And it's incredibly bored. Someday, maybe, they'll terrorize the universe, but right now, they just really want you to be their eyes on another world. Call it enrichment.

Okay, this one is a fiend. Unequivocally so. But truthfully, they couldn't care less about your world, and you're not particularly concerned about what is going down in theirs. They kinda need few things done in your plane, few resources gathered, some people talked to, and between the lines, you realize that your newfound... ally is actually trying to oppose their boss or whatever. This one is a deeply legal-minded fiend, as far as you know: The hellish equivalent to a bureaucrat, after really digging around. Your party is convinced they will turn on you sometime, but eventually you realize you're just helping something that, for a lack of a better word, has to be an infernal-equivalent of an union effort.

That sword you picked was definitely cursed, and the voice within it has been calling to you. Eventually, you lend them your ear, and now you have an Hexblade pact. But this creature isn't bloodthirsty, nor talking to you about soaking their blade with your foes' guts. Truthfully, they hate being a sword. Trapped there as part of a vengeance, perhaps, this thing longs for freedom. And it has been used for evil in the past- Maybe the overabundance of skull motifs in their physical vessel didn't help. But this creature just wants to be able to experience a life that has been robbed from them. Your party may raise an eyebrow at you getting friendly with the possibly-malignant sword, but y'all are just making plans to get them to your favourite restaurant once they're freed.

This Archfey is the descendant of a powerful entity in Feywild side of things. The heir of some great lineage, or whatever is going on within their realm. You frankly don't know, because they're a bit of a... brat. One that kinda longs to escape their situation and get to live something more normal. You only find out this over time, when you realize you're kinda that friend their parents frown about. This entity, powerful beyond comprehension, just really wants to hang out with you and have a board game night with you. They'd love to meet your besties-- I mean, your world-saving allies. And you'd love to give them the opportunity someday, truth be told, but pissing off a fey court seems to be a high price.

You got stranded far into the ocean as a kid, and the rest of the people involved in the shipwreck did not make it out. But you attracted the attention of a group of merfolk, who had barely ever had the chance to meet someone like you. People had told you tales of how they'd drown and eat anyone coming into their territory, but these creatures were instead cooing about you. You're now grown up, and you can call them for power. Your party frowns at the idea of "I kinda got adopted by a sea polycule and I got a cantrip and few other boons about it", but you know they'll have to eat their words when you bring them for dinner- If you can find a way to table them in the middle of the ocean, that is.

the celestial patron is still a dick tho

Feel free to add onto these if you'd like, I'd love to hear concepts >:3

[twilightkitkat]

Can we talk about the dynamics of Logan "I eat anything and scarf it down immediately" Howlett and Wade "I only eat the same 10 foods in different fonts" Wilson?

Logan is used to living without. Even as a child, he had to get by when he was sick with the food his family could afford. Once he joined the military, he had to survive on the limited rations he was given. He didn't have room to be picky—he either ate what he was given or didn't eat at all. And in war, he had to eat eventually.

His preferences didn't matter. He was always treated as a soldier, a weapon, and his food reflected that. He'd get enough protein and carbohydrates to fuel his power but that was it. Food was for functional use, not to be enjoyed. It didn't matter if it tasted disgusting, he just inhaled it so the taste wouldn't linger.

He's also an extremely quick eater. He's feral and ravenous when hungry, tearing into meat with his claws and hands. He lived in the army, in the mountains, through the Great Depression, and in dangerous situations where he hunted for himself. To him, food is a scarce resource and if you don't eat it while you can, you might not have it tomorrow. So he takes gigantic bites and tears into food no matter how bland and unappealing it was because that's all he knows. His standards for food are just that it has to have nutrients and not be poisoned.

Wade, on the other hand, is more picky. If he had to choose between eating something he hates or not eating, he'd rather just starve. At first, in the army, he did eat what was given to him even if he disliked it, but it was purely for survival. He choked it down even when it made him vaguely nauseous and disgusted. But later, he'd hoard stashes of his own food that he managed to steal or barter for or bet on. It was better to be hungry most of the time than satiate his hunger temporarily only to fight to keep it down and feel sick the entire day.

The second he has the freedom to pick his own food, he sticks to things he knows he likes. That he feels comfortable with. He's picky about brands and specific types of food and how it has to be cooked or made, but he manages. He can normally find something on the menu he's OK with, even if he often has order a kid's meal. But most places have grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken tenders and macaroni, and people chalk it up to him being childish and silly, so nobody pays much attention.

Wade sees food as one of the only things he can control. He's been devoid of true choice for most of his life. He couldn't control getting cancer or being forced to turn into a horrific mutant. He couldn't save his relationship with Vanessa. When everything around him was collapsing, he hyperfixated on the little things he could control like food or clothing.

The two, together, learn to have a healthier relationship with food.

Logan was the first person to truly pay attention to Wade. To see which foods he liked and which he picked at and grimaced towards when nobody was looking. When Logan abruptly said he'd cook dinner one day, Wade was nervous, but nearly started bawling when Logan made homemade chicken tenders and macncheese. He noticed. He cared.

It was the first time Wade could be open and let someone see he was genuinely affected by food instead of him just playing it up as a lunatic. And Logan took him seriously and didn't make fun of him. He learned recipes to make the foods Wade liked but healthier and more balanced. He helped Wade finally get the nutrients he needed consistently without feeling sick to his stomach.

And Wade helped Logan too.

Logan was never allowed to have preferences. To have a sweet tooth or ask for more. To expect quality. But here Wade was, buying him some apple cinnamon-filled pastry just because he looked at it too long in the store.

Logan was never allowed to have dessert. To have sweet food just for the sake of it even after a meal. His eyes become wet as he clutches the pastry between his shaking hands and takes a bite. He's allowed this. To have the comforts in life. To eat just because it tasted good.

Someone cared about him enough to buy him what he wanted just because he'd enjoy them, not just to keep him functioning as a tool. Wade treated him as human. Like he was precious. Like he deserved the nice things in life.

And Wade reminds him of this. He stocks their kitchen with desserts that Logan likes, because he knows that Logan secretly enjoys sweet things. He sees the way he sniffs the air and wanders close to the fresh-baked goods of a bakery. He keeps snacks around the house, so Logan can eat whenever he want. Even if it isn't a "necessary meal."

And Wade learns to be more comfortable and try new variations of foods he likes that Logan makes. Because Logan knows the textures and flavors he hates and is somehow able to create a few new dishes entirely that he likes. He stops dreading mealtime or trying new foods. And Wade feels comfortable just trying the food without pressure, knowing that he can just not finish it if he doesn't want to and that someone else will.

And Logan learns to let himself enjoy eating again. To see it as less of a chore for the maintenance of his body and more as an enjoyable activity. Wade reminds him that he can eat just because he wants to and that it's OK to have preferences and ask for things. Logan feels well cared for. Pampered, almost. And he basks in the feeling of being wanted and loved and being allowed to express it through cooking and food.

[taylormarieee]

~you fell in love sweetheart~

A dean winchester drabble

Summary: you didn't expect to fall in love with your bestfriend, but it just kinda happened. no turning back now, you fell in love sweetheart.

word count: 1.6k

pairing: dean winchester x fem!bestfriend!reader

Warnings: some arguing, dean being a tease, reader being a bit tough, kissing, reader gets put in danger, some backstory on reader, and anything else im missing!

A/N: heyyyyy!!!! I'm backkkkkk! I HOPE I'M BACK TO STAY FOR A WHILE! such bad brain farts! I COULD NOT for the life of me come up with fic ideas. I know i still have some inboxes from a while ago so hopefully I can get back to those and my unfinished series! LOVE YOU GUYS! so glad I'm back on your screens!

you wouldn't say you're in love with dean winchester.

but to say the least, you were falling in love with dean winchester.

it scared you a lot, considering all that was on your mind was breaking his heart or worse, getting rejected and losing the best friendship you've ever had.

you were very reserved at times, before you even worked with the winchesters, you worked with your dad.

your dad trusted you and after your mom and dad split, you chose to stay with him.

you always researched and he would go out and find the damn thing(s) that were terrorizing innocent people.

you were like sam to your father. you were resourceful, helpful. you think about the times you helped your dad alot.

it motivates you to do the same for the winchesters. maybe more heavily for dean if you know what i mean.

today as always was just a normal day, or whatever hunters call a normal day.

you all stopped by bobby's place to get insight on a shapeshifter that was terrorizing young women by killing their partners and then killing the women.

you and sam are debriefing with bobby and dean about the case, well... more like arguing.

"dean thats stupid." sam says aggressively with his hands on his hips. you standing next to the younger brother with the same look of disbelieve on your face.

"so what your telling me is you want to use me as bait for our little woman killer." you say death glaring at dean.

"well it's not my best idea-" he starts off.

you interrupt saying, "you think!?" with an incredulous look on your face.

"as i was saying... it's not my best idea but it could work. there are billions of people in the world. who knows where this shapeshifter is hiding?" he says

"yeah and only a population of 200 in this town. I'm sure we can easily narrow this down to a certain village of people and track the damn thing down." sam informs.

"but he moves from town to town. there are similar repots in Michigan, Texas, Colorado, and others matching his description. reports that date back months, years even." bobby says scattering a bunch of newspaper reports on the desk.

"look, as much as i don't want to put you in danger cupcake, your are only solution at stoping this son of a bitch." dean says staring at you.

bobby and sam join in looking at you to see what your final answer is.

your too worried about the nickname he just gave you to process anything else.

so distracted the words slipped right out of your mouth before you could think.

"sure thing handsome." as the words leave your mouth, everyone in the room had a different reaction.

sam jerked his head and squinted his eyes in confusion, bobby shook his head and put his head down, and dean had the biggest smirk on his face.

you internally face palm. "uhm i mean yea i totally got this, but you all owe me a beer later." you say clearing your throat, the awkward tension clearly growing in the room.

"i'm uh, gonna take a walk." you say pointing towards the door before grabbing your leather jacket and walking out.

bobby and sam give dean a 'go after her' look and he stutters before rushing out after you.

"hey wait!" he yells out closing bobby's door. "wait for me, i wanna come too." he says.

you turn around and stop walking, eyes squinted in this South Dakota heat.

soon he catches up to you and you both give each other a tight-lipped smile before walking again.

"so, your really up for this huh?" he asks as you guys sit in his car.

"yea i guess can't stand the feeling of hearing about another dead girl and her spouse. it just sickens me you know? like sometimes i think about my mom and dad. what would i have done if i was in that situation? watching or reading in a newspaper about how my mom was killed and my dad? i would be angry."

you take a deep breath in and close your eyes for a few seconds, a technique your dad taught you to control your emotions.

"you okay?" dean asks. "yea i'll be okay, just trying to put myself in these women's shoes." you sigh.

"quick question. what did you mean by that back there. the nickname?" you ask, fidgeting with deans cassette tapes.

"oh cupcake? i don 't know, it just kind of slipped out. guess it was something to reassure you since you were shooting daggers my way." he says with a chuckle.

you giggle with him, "i guess your right, thanks." you say urning to face towards him.

"uh yea no problem." he responds. there's this silence between you two. not an awkward silence but a comfortable silence. one that's been shared many times before.

"so are we going anywhere or are we just going to sit here until i'm used as bait later tonight?" you ask kicking your feet up on his dashboard.

"I don't know? did you want to go somewhere?" he asks.

"well i did just say something didn't I?" you bark back.

"oookay so someones feeling a little bit sassy, did you put a stick up your ass?" he said chuckling as he starts the engine.

"no, but it'll be up your ass in a second if you don't start driving." you respond with your hands crossed over your chest.

"hey, this is my car. i'll drive when i want to." he says putting his foot to the gas and driving out the parking lot.

you guys finally make your way to a food joint and of course dean orders fries, a burger, and some pie.

you decided to order fries, a milkshake and a cheeseburger. you roll your eyes at dean, his obsession with pie grinding your gears but you don't say anything.

"god, whoever invented pie, needs some serious sex handed to them." he says munching on his pie.

"then why don't you go find the person who invented pie and fuck em yourself?"

"seriously whats your-" he trails off before proceeding to laugh his ass off.

"what's funny winchester?" you question. he continues to bawl and in the process, he almost drops his pie.

"i know what's got your panties in a bunch." he says.

"oh yea and whats that winchester?" you question with your deathly glare.

"you need some. like badly." he says smirking.

"I need some what? that nasty ass pie? I'm good thank you."

"no no no, not the pie, well maybe some cream pie but what i'm trying to say is you need to get fucked. your ass is all riled up and your just taking your anger out on me dummy. when was the last time you had sex huh virgin?" he chuckles at that last part.

you stare at him and then punch him in his nose. "you wanna know whens the last time a man fucked me winchester? well it was your brother 3 days ago, so suck on that asshole."

"what?" he says sternly holding his nose.

"you heard me." you say.

"god you really are a bitch aren't you?" he says before getting out the car to go throw away the leftover trash in the car.

you sit there and think about what you said quietly scolding yourself for what you just said.

god why couldn't you just tell him. tell him that he is all you want. he's your type, he's the one you pray to be with, he's the one you've fallen madly in love with. not his brother.

the car door opens again and the car shakes a bit from deans force to sitting in the drivers seat.

"look dean, about what I said- i'm sorry. I didn't mean it. me and your brother have never slept together because he's not the winchester I want." you take a deep breath and stare out your window.

"I like you dean. I know i'm pretty shitty at showing it but i've been your best friend for years. I never would have expected myself to fall this deeply for you or even fall in love with you at all, but these last couple of weeks have changed for me. I've started to notice how handsome you really are and notice that I really have liked you for so long I've just suppressed the feelings. I hope this doesn't scare you off but I think I'm in love with you dean winchester." you look down at your fingers as your eyes close at hearing the words come out of your mouth.

"wow cupcake, never thought i'd hear you say the words." he says with a chuckle.

he guides his hand to your chin and lifts your head up to look at him.

"you fell in love sweetheart, and so have I." he says before looking down at your lips and smashing his together with yours.

warm lips touching your slightly cold ones. his warm hand sending electric sparks to your body.

his tongue slightly slipping past and mingling with your own. the feeling is euphoric and it's loving.

you break off and stare at him, "so you like me too?" you ask.

"duh, I've liked you for a while actually, surprised you haven't noticed."

"oh your such an ass, guys make the first moves not girls!" you say covering your face in embarressment.

he chuckles and grabs your hands before placing one more kiss on your lips.

"eh, didn't have the balls just yet." he says and you laugh as he starts the car again and you both drive back off to bobby's.

Taglist:@dollyfl1rt@itzdarling@sammyluvr@liliesdiary@ribbonprincess @bellahadidnt16 @iilovefictionalpeople @aerangi @keiva1000 @madafton @niktwazny303 @prettyluhdavis @kqmbr1a @nuemanfilms + anyone else who wants to join

[tealvenetianmask]

Does Blitz blame himself for Cash's abuse?

Stick with me, and I'm truly sorry.

All of the people except Cash featured in the memories Rolando shows Blitz are people who Blitz has cared deeply for and felt like he hurt, failed to get close to, or let down.

Let's look at them (again, yes)

Tilla

Fizz

Verosika

Loona

M&M

Barbie

A whole lot of Stolas

So. What. The. Actual. Fuck. Is Cash Fucking Buckzo. Doing in this line-up?

Well. Hurting Blitz, horribly. My first meta on this scene didn't really capture this, but as many have pointed out, this is Cash grabbing Blitz's freshly burned wrist after the fire and smacking the ever living shit out the burned side of his face. Presumably blaming him for the fire and everything (and everyone) lost from it. And then Cash telling Blitz in the hospital that Fizz doesn't want to see him.

It's emphasized too. Right after we see the memory of Cash hitting Blitz, we see Blitz physically flinch while watching it.

So if this is just a compilation of horrible memories, maybe that's all there is to it.

But if it's a grouping of the people Blitz cares for, well . . . it makes sense for it to be that, doesn't it? Blitz has a lot of love in him, and yet he's scared of intimacy. His trauma is ABOUT hurting people, losing people, driving people away, craving closeness that he can't have . . .

Being an abuse victim is complicated. Being a family scapegoat is complicated too. A lot of abusers try to make the victim think that they're ACTUALLY the cause of their pain and everyone else's, and we already know that Cash did this to Blitz (literally in this same set of memories in the hospital).

But we also saw it in The Circus when Blitz was much younger, and saw how much this tactic got to Blitz.

Cash guilts his son into going into a dangerous situation for him. If Blitz doesn't do this, their lack of resources, the possible suffering of his parents . . . it will all be Blitz's fault.

And Blitz cares deeply (he always has!), so he does it.

Now one might argue that Blitz says "of course I want to help Mama" here and leaves Cash out of his reply, so he doesn't love his father. But reality is often more complicated than that. He's upset here that Cash is forcing this on him. Cash hurts him. His mother (seemingly) offers much more love. That doesn't mean that Blitz doesn't ALSO feel some care and responsibility for his father's wellbeing.

I think that Blitz believes (or at least a significant part of him believes) that he destroyed Cash's life too with the fire, and that he deserved that beating and being turned away from the hospital and possibly many of the beatings and beratings that Cash delivered in the past. I think that in the moment when Cash grabbed him, he felt that he fully deserved the agony he felt when Cash held his wrist.

I think a part of him loved his father growing up and still loves him-- that there were moments between the incidents of cruelty where they had fun together as a family, and where looked up to his dad and wanted desperately to win his approval.

I think that Blitz has a lot of anger toward Cash too, and that a part of him always knew that Cash was wrong to hurt him. He had a whole lot of resilience and defiance in him even as a young kid.

I think that he felt guilty for all of the times he felt angry at his father. I think he might still.

I'm off to cry and then grab my pitchfork and storm wherever Cash is living nowadays. Who's with me?

[itgetsbetter]

Despite being a progressive city with some queer protections, LGBTQ+ youth in Seattle still felt like they didn't have a space to claim as their own.

So they made one.

With help from one of our It Gets Better: Changemakers grants, Seattle Public Schools hosted their first-ever Community and Culture Conference—a transformative event attended by nearly 200 queer and trans youth across the district!

The day was packed with over 20 workshops led by LGBTQ+ artists, educators, healthcare workers, and culture-makers, plus a queer-centered resource fair, gender-affirming clothing swap, and drag and ballroom performances.

One of the students said, "It was amazing to be near so many people like me. I could be vulnerable and talk with people who had the same life experiences as me. I was so happy!" <3

We want to make more of this happen! You can apply now through May 5th for a grant of up to $10,000 at itgetsbetter.org/changemakers!