#Batdad is here

[ineveryfandom]

*50 year old Dick Grayson time travels to the past*

Jason, looks him up and down: gol-LY what happened to you

Dick: *rolls his eyes*

Future Dick, absolutely delighted: oh my god little LITTLE wing

Tim, fiddling with Future Dick’s equipment, stars in his eyes: this is genius! why haven’t we thought of this before i need to-

Damian: richard. you have not aged well.

Jason, throwing his head back, wheezing: im pissing myself. holy shit im gonna piss myself

Dick: *rolls his eyes harder*

Cass, signing: ‘don’t listen to them, you look good’

Future Dick, hugging her: this is why you’re my favorite

Cass: 😇

Cass, discreetly signing behind her back: ‘he is going bald’

Jason, on the floor, clutching his stomach, crying: im dying. death by laughter. here laughs jason todd-wayne

Dick: that’s. it.

Dick, inhaling:

Dick, screeching: DAAAAD!!!

*heavy footsteps*

*a crash*

*vase breaks*

*alfred shouts*

Bruce, running in the room, panicked: what happened?

Dick, huffing: they’re bullyi-!

Future Dick, quietly: …dad?

Bruce, blinking: dick?

Future Dick, tearing up: dad!

Bruce, utterly baffled: dick???

Future Dick crashes into Bruce, desperately clinging to him. Dick’s heart sinks to the pit of his stomach.

Damian, fearfully, instantly understanding what the reaction meant: richard, get up. stop bothering baba.

Future Dick, clinging harder: dad…tati…

Jason, all amusement gone: stop playing around, dickhead.

Tim, teary-eyed: it’s not true…

Cass, shaking her head: no. no!

Bruce, slowly realizing what was happening, hugs Future Dick back: oh, sweetheart

Future Dick, sniffling: …dn’t you…

Bruce, rubbing his back while smiling reassuringly at his mourning children: im sorry baby, what was that?

Future Dick, lifting his head, sobbing: WHY DIDN’T YOU LET ME BUY MY OWN CIRCUS?!?!

Bruce:

Dick:

Jason:

Tim:

Cass:

Damian:

Future Dick, wailing, shaking Bruce: you’re rich! i’m rich! timmy’s richer! do you just nOT LOVE ME

Jason, hiccuping: im going to kill him

Damian, wiping his tears: i shall do it first.

Cass, eyes red: bald-head deserves death

Dick, about to commit suicide:

Tim, under Bruce’s arms, kicking a weeping Future Dick away:

Bruce, so done: death is my mercy

Batkids, as one: NO!

[starry-bi-sky]

i think i'm hilarious -- aka i made blood blossom danny au memes

all of these come from my DpxDC prompt "i am pushing the batdad agenda--" and it's corresponding additions in the reblogs ksdjlf.

i am. rotating them in my head. forever and always. personally i think there should be more batdad aus in dpxdc, their dynamic could be neat. :)

[fanaticalthings]

Jason being the easiest kid is super funny. Bruce looking at Jason and remembering Dick at 18: “we can work through this. He’ll come around if I don’t give up on.”

Bruce, watching over a freshly street-snatched Jason: Why is he so calm

Having Dick as the rambunctious, feral, and unhinged first child must've given him SO much whiplash once Jason entered the picture. Lil guy just vibed in his own world. Just reading books and doing schoolwork. Baby Jason hurt nobody.

Bruce will just be going over the ground rules of the manor, remembering all the chaos Dick brought upon the household.

Bruce: No swinging from the chandelier.

Jason: ?? I wasn't planning to?

Bruce: No murder.

Jason: What? That never even crossed my mind-

Bruce: And please, for the love of God, don't sneak out and try to beat up the nearest criminal on our block

Jason:

Jason: WHO is responsible for these rules being created??

Bruce will just come home from a long day of work. He's tired and just wants a nice, quiet evening, but he's subconsciously psyching himself up to prepare himself for the chaos he'll witness once he enters the manor

but then Jason's just quietly doing his own thing, maybe even helping Alfred with some chores, reading, or just lounging about in the manor. In general, just causing no trouble and Bruce just turns to Alfred, all worried like, "Is he sick? I don't think children are supposed to behave this way."

[ghost-bxrd]

Some days I wake up, and I think I’m drowning. And just before I wake up, looking up at the distant surface while there’s something (someone?) dragging me down I find myself thinking… it’s rather peaceful, down here.

Obviously, I know that drowning isn’t nearly as relaxing, but it’s not like I can help what I dream about. And I think I’d prefer that over the impersonal way [REDACTED] would handle… well, anyway.

It’s been a week without any sightings of the pod. A week since I destroyed most of the logs.… and shamefully hid the rest.

Sometimes I want to burn this whole facility to the ground. But then I remember— that I can’t.

[REDACTED] still hasn’t told [REDACTED] about what I’ve done. I wonder what he’s waiting for.

File Notes:

Personal file, recovered from the sunken remains of the [REDACTED] research facility. Researcher: [REDACTED], status: deceased

[seilnakyle]

Bruce and Selina with Dick and Barbara’s daughter, Mary Grayson II in Batman: Dark Age #6

[piece-of-pierce]

Bruce's Adoption Instinct

Basically, I was tired and had the thought of "what if the adoption instinct is actually like the Spider-Sense and a real thing?" and now this exists.

It started, as so much else had, with Haley's Circus. Bruce watched the acts, surveyed the crowd, and everything was normal. Then a small boy skirted past him, just barely stumbling before rolling forward into a controlled tumble and bouncing up into a few flips. The boy had made eye contact, clearly looking for some kind of applause or coin.

Bruce offered neither. Everything had frozen, time standing still for just a moment, as black and blue feathers filled every inch of his vision around that child. Something electric crackled in his ears as the feathers danced before it faded faster than it had appeared.

Later, Bruce watched that same boy rush toward the crumpled bodies of his parents, cameras flashing all around, and couldn't turn away. There was something about that child, who reminded him so much of himself in that alley, who had filled his senses with blue and black and flight and a shock of energy. He took the boy home.

-=o0o=-

Dick had moved out, taking up a more permanent role with the Titans and leaving Bruce's evening patrols feeling empty. He made his way back to where he'd left the Batmobile, only to find a small figure working at the tires, 3 hubcaps already removed and leaning against the alley's wall.

Bruce made his next step scuff on the ground, drawing the kid's gaze. They made eye contact and, for the second time, Bruce's vision filled. This time, the boy was outlined in red that seeped and stained the black metal shards all around him, a quick succession of gunshots echoing in Bruce's ears before it all faded. Bruce needed to know what that was. He'd never figured it out with Dick, but this was a second chance. He took the boy, Jason, home.

Weeks later, Bruce saw a blurry picture in the news showing Blüdhaven's new black-and-blue clad vigilante, electricity arcing from the escrima stick that swung in one hand. Something clicked in his mind, drawing a connection he'd been hunting for years.

Those vignettes, when he first saw the boys, were the future. Dick was always going to become Nightwing, at least since that first moment Bruce looked him in the eye. That meant Jason...

Spreading red, black scraps of metal, gunshots echoing in the night...

Bruce tightened the reins, shortened patrols, and encouraged Jason to stay in the house more. It wasn't hard, admittedly. Jason happily took to the new additions to the library.

Then he was gone and Bruce was looking for him and there was a flight to Ethiopia and Bruce was too late and he'd failed Jason. He'd failed to defy fate.

[waynescapes]

do you ever just think about the batkids and for all their anger and frustration at bruce, he's still a dad who 'works' insane hours? so just imagine them cussing him out in their heads only to stop themselves before walking into the dining room because they see him eating dinner. alone.

[mysterythief]

Single dad who can’t stop adopting kids has become one of my favorite troops.

[starry-bi-sky]

'Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings' doodles, because Pathetic Wet Cat Danny is the best Danny to practice drawing young faces with (and expressions).

[littlefankingdom]

~ World's Finest: Batman and Superman

Bruce lost his battle against Dick's puppy dog's eyes and accepted to bring him to Paradise Island. The Amazons asked only two men, which is already too much for them, to come, and Bruce just didn't have the guts to say "no" to his boy, so now, there's one more.

[ghost-bxrd]

“poltergeist”

The quality is atrocious here 🥲 A few close ups. Let me know if you wanna read all the articles >.<

Big thanks to @cyrwrites for suggesting the missing poster and the Superboy part!

And of course a thank you to everyone else who suggested article topics, I stuck to more serious stuff this time but some of your comments really cracked me up it was great 💚✨

[violent138]

For bonus points kindly reblog/comment with how they explained that shit to Alfred/Gordon/general circumstances

[ghost-bxrd]

Don’t mind me, I’m just ugly sobbing over these two like— 😭😭😭😭😭 Bruce honey what happened? You were such a good dad 🥺

[frownyalfred]

thinking about the early overprotective and twitchy Batdad days where the “pummel any threat to Robin into non-existence” leaks over a little too much into “Bruce Wayne, adoptive father of one (and counting)” and suddenly Dick’s in the principal’s office at school for getting into a fight and the other kid’s dad comes barreling in yelling and Bruce just…throws him out. picks him up by the collar and full-body tosses him out the door. physically lifts an entire, grown man up and throws him out like he weighs nothing because the alternative is letting him near Dick or beating him into a pulp on the linoleum floors and Alfred will kill him if Dick needs to change schools, so here they are. some smug, rich-but-not-richer-than-Bruce-fucking-Wayne dad hit the wall outside of the office head-first hard enough to embarrass his kid and Dick realizes, in that split second, that Bruce isn’t really the guy standing in front of him anymore.

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Imagine the batkids fuck up major and a batdad had to step in and clean up their mistake

Everyone kinda embarrassed because of their blunder and Jason is lashing out to protect himself from shame

Dick is joining is cause well he feels bad about it being his idea

Now Tim is arguing too

Damian wants to feel involved and u can’t convince me other wise

Bruce is trying ti make a point about safety thats just fully derailed

Anyway Danny as Fenton is just there in the background around all the bad guys he took out before Bruce actually got there like “awkward” but the moment he tries to just tippytoe his way out Bruce turns to point at him “and don’t think you are getting out of this. Your grounded too”

He just freezes. Can batman do that? Is he legally allowed to do that? Wait what does Batman mean by grounded?!!? Whats his move here.

“Everyone in the batmobile we will discuss this more in the morning”

Oh ok thats his move. Ok yea Batman just grounded him. He better go.

So they r having the ride home and everyone is sulking and Danny is just there confused but doesn’t say anything because hes probably tired and it’s batman wtf you gonna do.

So they are at the cave and Danny finally just “so can I call my family to tell them I wont be home tonight?”

You everyone just stops. And slowly turns to face him. “Ah yea dumb question. I guess uhhh no phones huh?” No one moves. Everyone is pretty shocked. Cause one bruce kidnapped some kid. Two theres a civi in the batcave. Three bruce kidnapped some fucking kid. Four some random kid just got in the car with them. Five holy fuck bruce kidnapped some kid.

Breaks over enjoy post

[angstandhappiness]

LMAO YES

honestly how funny would Batman comics involving Resurrected!Jason have  been if they had actually acknowledged all the ridiculous and stupid things that happened after he died.

like imagine it going the exact same way with Jason coming back from the dead and going on a rampage but instead it ended up like:

Jason: WHY DIDN’T YOU KILL THE JOKER AFTER HE KILLED ME??? THIS IS PROOF YOU NEVER LOVED ME REALLY I KNEW IT>:(

Bruce: oh no I totally tried to kill the Joker in revenge for your death, he was just involved with Iran for some reason at the time so it was weird

Jason: Involved with…Iran.

Bruce: yeah idk why it was odd and pretty racist. Anyway I DID eventually go after him but then Superman showed up and stopped me even though he didn’t have any real stake in any of it?

Jason: huh well okay. I can’t be mad at Superman.

Bruce: what you can’t? But you can be mad at ME?

Jason: Yeah it’s a proud Robin tradition. anyway finish your story what happened next.

Bruce: Okay, well it looked like l’d indirectly killed the Joker despite all that, so I felt vaguely content for a while? but then he just came back again so it was clear to me this was all pointless and he would never stay dead even if I did kill him? I mean does anyone in this weird world of ours? Look at you. 

Jason: okay I guess I’m not upset about that anymore then but why did you then immediately make another kid Robin, pretty hurtful..

Bruce: no see this boy literally stalked me and I was all “leave me alone kid I’m going on a suicidal rampage now” so he just made himself Robin and made this big speech about how Robin is important to my mythos and also my mental health…

Jason:nice this kid sounds like a nerd I wanna meet him now so i can noogie him and shove him into a locker.

Bruce: I’m going to assume you mean that affectionately and congratulate myself on diffusing this situation. Great parenting, me. 

Joker, still tied up: so i guess everyone’s forgotten I’m here? that’s fine