#Because /damn./

[pipebombgf]

gender-affirming surgery is a months-long dark comedy. what the fuck do you mean you're charging me double for everything. what do you mean they itemize the bill by left and right ball. what the fuck.

[sadclowncentral]

my family is fucking addicted to macgyvering and it's becoming a problem. every time something in this house breaks, instead of doing the sensible thing of replacing it or calling someone qualified to fix it, we all group around the offending object with a manic look in our eyes and everyone gets a try at fixing it while being cheered on or ridiculed by the rest.

it's a beautiful bonding activity, but the "creative" fixes have turned our house into a quasihaunted escape room like contraption where everything works, but only in the wonkiest of ways. you need a huge block of iron to turn on the stove. the oven only works if a specific clock is plugged in. the bread machine has a huge wood block just stapled to it that has become foundational to its function. sometimes when you use the toaster the doorbell rings. and that's just the kitchen.

it's all fun and games until you have guests over and you have to lay out the rules of the house like it's a fucking board game. welcome to the beautiful guest room. don't pull out the couch yourself you need a screwdriver for that, and that metal rod makes the lamp work so don't move it. it also made me a terrifying roommate in college, because it makes me think i can fix anything with enough hubris and a drill. you want to call the landlord about a leaky faucet? as if. one time my dad made me install a new power socket because we ran our of extension cords

[evercelle]

no looking back, orpheus. you promised ▋

[staruie]

where my fellow monster fuckers at 👅👅👅👅👅👅

[fixyourwritinghabits]

I'm going to have to say this multiple times, but you do not have to use Generative AI to create background characters, locations, or plot ideas. There are hundreds of writing generators out there lovingly crafted for free by folks who want nothing more than to give you tools for writing. Please just search for them.

You do not have to use the Unethical Thieving Machine That Burns Down A Rainforest to help you write. There are so many resources out there that will strengthen your writing, not weaken it. You owe it to yourself to do better.

[varpusvaras]

Bruce, for the record, is absolutely stoked when Jason brings Roy around.

Because this now means that he is a grandpa. He is so ready to be a grandpa. Let him be a grandpa. Please please please please-

(finally, he gets to just give things to someone. anything they want. (finally, he gets to give Jason so much money and things and Jason can't say no because they are for Lian too))

The thing is, now he is in a very deep and serious rivalry with Oliver, who will not be replaced as the number one grandpa. Absolutely not. So now they are waging war on each other for Lian's affections.

It's messy and it's bloody.

One day, during a JLA meeting, Green Arrow notices something peeking from underneath Batman's suit. It's colorful, so it stands starkly against the dark suit. It looks very familiar.

Green Arrow looks down on his hands. At the friendship bracelet Lian had made for him. He looks back up at Batman and the very familiar colorful thing he has on him.

"What is that?" He asks.

Batman turns to look at him. He follows Green Arrow's gaze, and looks at the colorful thing on him, and then at the bracelet on Green Arrow's wrist.

"What is that?" Batman asks, nodding at the bracelet.

"I asked you first."

"I asked you second."

Green Arrow glares at Batman.

"It's a friendship bracelet my granddaughter made for me", he says.

Batman glares at Green Arrow.

"And this is a friendship bracelet my granddaughter made for me", he says.

They glare at each other. The meeting room has become several degrees colder. No one dares to utter a word.

Then they both pull out their phones and make a call.

"Jason-"

"Roy-"

Jason and Roy, in their bed, both realising that their dad's are calling them at the same time: fuck whatever it is, we're going back to sleep

[againaweasel]

I’m 99.9% sure that we are all on the same page, but just in case we aren’t: 

The kids who have now been cast as the Golden Trio in the HP reboot have not earned abuse. Suggesting they have does not help. It does not further trans rights. It just makes you dick. 

sending, or planning to send, these 10 year olds hate does nothing. Even if your main gripe is they don’t look like the images in your head or like Daniel radcliffe, just don’t. 

The adults who have willingly involved themselves in the series having full mental faculties and the ability to read and comprehend JKs actions (in the case of the Snape actor, understand it’s wrong, but still want that bag), are worthy of critique. Ben Barnes’ ‘oh yeah I’d totally be involved, why not?’ is worthy of critique, we can critique the actions of these kids' guardians if you like. 

But just don’t direct that shit those three kids. 

[bluerosefox]

F*ck Forgiveness. I Want Vengeance.

Hmmmm

Another DeadTired idea. And Ghost King Danny with Consort Tim.

Tim dies a bitter ended death with the Batfam (Maybe during his RR run and isn't caught by Dick when he is kicked out of WE window? Or its in the future where his relationship between the bats is bad.)

So yeah Tim dies. And wakes in the Infinite Realms and learns to unlive in that Realm and gained a wonderful afterlife.

And somehow manages to gain the attention of the Ghost King, King Phantom and somehow manages to become his Consort after some adorable ghost courting.

Despite the fact he's been dead for like a few months in his original Realms timeline, time in the Infinite Realms is more ocean like than riverish, Tim has been happily married to his husband for what feels like eons.

So Tim was not, very very not happy when his ghost is suddenly pulled away from his anniversary dinner and stuffed back into his body.

He hears yelling and fighting, wakes to see the Bats fighting League Assassins while Batman is fighting Ra's in rage.

And Tim.

He isn't happy at all.

He already figured it out, connected the dots.

Oh Ra's was going to regret bringing him back. The Bats, and he KNOWS they should had respected his last wishes to be fucking cremated, ashes scattered in space, so THIS wouldn't had happened.

Cause Tim wasn't playing around anymore.

[surreal-duck]

this one goes out to a certain middle schooler who wouldve been eviscerated on the spot by woke miraculous

[navtrash]

"What a foolish thought. Yet, when I saw your pathetic smile, I..."

Hello, Cookie Run Fandom (and ShadowVanilla nation)

[brainrotcharacters]

the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.

[egophiliac]

don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12

[keferon]

Don’t mind me I just like to see him go bananas about cartoonish Autobot rules

Maaan…..if Prowl was in tfp he would spontaneously combust at least once a day

[the-palelady]

shy ghost got me giggling and twirling my fucking hair

because this big oaf would do everything to try and avoid you on base. the man would willingly be late to a meeting. hell, he won't even show up to the meeting as long as it means not locking eyes with you. those pretty orbs that have him on his knees quicker than any bullet he's ever taken.

the second your laughter hits his ears when he's entering the canteen he's already half way back the way he came.

he just can't handle it.

your laughter that's incredibly contagious. the smile that you always wear somehow even when you're in pain.

those fucking eyes that have his toes curling in his boots, knuckles clenched so hard he swears he's torn through the fabric of his gloves and broken the skin of his palms underneath.

and when you do finally catch him in the halls of the base, his shoulders tense (because he swears he saw you walking the other direction), you can't get even a peep out of him. in your mind you think it's his reputation; big, scary lieutenant that always has the new recruits rethinking the career path they've chosen.

but in reality ghost is fighting his inner demons. they're going toe to toe in a gun fight and he's the bloke that brought a damn knife.

[honourablejester]

Oh, I didn’t know that.

I was listening to Gordon Lightfoot’s “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” on youtube, and browsing the comments several people mentioned …

Okay. The song is about the real sinking of the freighter the Edmund Fitzgerald on Lake Superior in 1975. And there’s a line in the song:

“In the Maritime Sailor’s Cathedral,

The Church Bell chimed till it rang twenty nine times,

For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald”

Which references something that the actual Maritime Church in Detroit did in honour of the ship’s crew. And I just found out in those youtube comments for his song that when Gordon Lightfoot died in May last year (2023), the Maritime Church rang those bells again, this time 30 times. Once for every man on the Edmund Fitzgerald, and once more for Gordon Lightfoot.

That’s … That is a memorial I would be proud to have earned. And proud to give. I do like that. A lot.

Apparently, the Split Rock Lighthouse on Lake Superior also lit its beacon in honour of him.

Sorry. I’m having … extremely maritime sort of feelings over here. Songs and memorials, bells and beacons, and the ways we carry memory forward. That’s … that’s a good memorial. I like that.

[hexedwithluck]

I did the meme :)