#Benefits of high emotional intelligence

[lawinspire]

Counseling for stress and anxiety has become an essential aspect of maintaining mental well-being in today’s fast-paced world. With increasing work pressures, personal challenges, and social responsibilities, individuals across all age groups often struggle to manage their emotional health. How therapy helps with anxiety is a critical question as many people seek effective ways to cope with these overwhelming feelings. Mental health concerns such as chronic stress, anxiety disorders, and emotional exhaustion have been rising at an alarming rate, making it more crucial than ever to explore professional support systems.

[shyravenns]

Hi, can I ask you to please elaborate on the coup against Nik that ended rather violently? I love your idea of how Chimera works and am so here for your lovely brain. 👀

THANK YOU 🥺 I always imagine that when you gave a large operation filled with people who have rather,,,,,unscrupulous pasts, you're kinda guaranteed to have an issue or two in the future haha

I think Nik typically keeps these at bay mainly because 1) People actually do love him and 2) if you somehow manage to kill him then you're already dead on your feet considering you'll have the rest of Chimera AND 141 AND every other ally targeting you 💀

The ONE coup that he ended was probably told to be more dramatic than it was. Some older new recruit thinking that know more about the "what's right" for the organization's future and challenging Nik. Add in a few more gullible soldiers, and wayy too much ego. While it was quick and easy to put a stop to it, I DO think that Nik is the type to make an example out of people.

Overall, even if you did want to challenge him,,,you're better off keeping him alive and keeping your mouth shut.

[moonmaiden1996]

The Monster Maomao Created

Slight Yandere Jinshi X Reader- Slight spoilers mentioned. Part two/three now out

Maomao would never describe herself as malicious or mean. She was not particularly nice, either. She didn’t find herself feeling many emotions—she felt them, of course—but she approached life with a pragmatic detachment.

For example, being kidnapped and sold to the rear palace had been more of an annoyance than a tragedy. Mildly inconveniencing, yes, but at the end of the day, it could have been much worse. The cold, gilded halls of the inner court had become just another backdrop to her daily life, the scent of expensive incense and silk-wrapped bodies blending into the clinical sterility of her world.

Regret was a rare visitor in her mind. She only ever felt it when a particularly sumptuous poison was snatched from her grasp, usually by Jinshi, Gaoshun, or Basen. The lost opportunities to study those delicate toxins still haunted her but now, she felt regret deeply, like a sharp knife pressing against her ribs, unrelenting and suffocating.

She had done this to you. She had put you in the path of an oddly obsessive man-child.

In her mind, she had been right to divert Master Jinshi’s fixation away from herself onto someone more suitable. It was far too dangerous for her to have such an attachment with someone like him. His current position would not remain the same forever. There would be an heir, and Jinshi would gain more freedom—within limits, of course. Maomao wanted to be nowhere near him when that happened. She was perfectly content in the doctor’s office, surrounded by the comforting scent of crushed herbs and aged parchment. With any luck, she might even gain enough favor to begin making medicine herself. After all, the Emperor was always changing the old rules., why should she benefit?

So, she had needed to find a suitable replacement for herself in Jinshi’s heart.

Love was fickle. She had seen for herself how quickly affections could change within the Verdigris House. But love could also be stubborn, clinging on despite adversity. If Jinshi was going to fixate on someone, they had to be capable of enduring his whims. They had to be intelligent—cunningly so. Beauty was a bonus but not essential. Body type seemed unimportant to the man. But there was something that was essential—they had to look at Jinshi in a way that, as Gaoshun had so eloquently put it, resembled looking at a slug.

And, of course, they had to fit his particular inclinations. Maomao knew all too well that Jinshi was a masochist. He delighted in the challenge, in the rejection, in the sting of disdain. It was part of his peculiar set of kinks and fetishes, his deep-rooted craving for resistance that made him all the more insufferable. If he had been the type to be satisfied with adoration, he would have long since picked a consort from the dozens of women who threw themselves at his feet. But no, he wanted the chase, the suffering, the thrill of unattainability. 

Obviously, the women of the rear palace were out of the question. Jinshi was still seen as a eunuch, and the Emperor would not take kindly to him stealing one of his consorts or concubines. The outer palace was also unsuitable—servants fawned over him too easily. Most of the women there were of too low a rank.

That left the imperial palace and the guest residences surrounding it. Visiting royalty, honored guests, and members of the Emperor’s council stayed there. A limited pool, much to Maomao’s relief.

From there, it became a process of elimination. Any woman who took an immediate interest in Jinshi was crossed off her list. Unfortunately, it soon became apparent that his unearthly beauty made him irresistible. Maomao had all but given up hope. She had already started flipping through the books she had given to the high-ranking consorts, mentally preparing herself for the inevitable.

And then it happened.

Jinshi’s encounter with you.

The apothecary could have wept with joy at your apparent disinterest in the Overseer of the Inner Court and Rear Palace. Your eyes barely lingered on his angelic features before shifting to the two young boys running around the garden. The sunlight caught the stray wisps of your hair, giving you an almost ethereal glow, but instead of focusing on the man before you, your gaze softened only when following your younger brother’s laughter. More concerned with your family than a man whose beauty could literally start a war.

That had hurt him.

And that was enough. Maomao could use that.

Slowly but surely, Jinshi became obsessed, and Maomao had helped every step of the way. She had been so happy to be free that she hadn’t realized the monster she was creating.

With her, he had been playful—flirtatious, yes, but in a way that treated her like an amusing pet, a source of entertainment when he was bored. With you, it was different. It was devotion. A consuming obsession.

He found any excuse to be in your presence. Any opportunity to gift you something. He even went so far as to have the absent Moon Prince himself present you with a birthday gift, reveling in the look of barely concealed disgust you tried so hard to mask at the sight of the hairpin, its delicate silver filigree catching the candlelight.

Maomao’s father had warned her not to toy with emotions—they were as unpredictable as poisons, capable of causing unforeseen damage. She was painfully aware of that now, watching as Jinshi’s besotted eyes followed you, his usually composed mask slipping whenever you so much as moved. The intensity of his fixation was suffocating, like a snake coiling tightly around its prey, biding its time while its prey slowly succumbed to the vice like grip.

You sat with your family, the warm glow of the lanterns reflecting off your skin as you softly chastised your unruly brothers, your father watching on with quiet amusement. Jinshi stood in the shadows, a predator watching its prey.

It would not be long before he had you. If Gyokuyou bore a son, there would be very few obstacles left to prevent him from claiming you. Maomao knew there had been several secret meetings between Jinshi and the Emperor. Even your father would be helpless against the Emperor and the Moon Prince's will.

The apothecary frown deepened. Yes, it would happen soon.

And for the life of her, the apothecary couldn’t figure out how to fix what she had done.

Had to get this out my mind. Maybe a smutty one shot coming...

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing a "Curious" Character

Curiosity - the impulse or desire to investigate, observe, or gather information, particularly when the material is novel or interesting.

This drive appears spontaneously in nonhuman animals and in young children, who use sensory exploration and motor manipulation to inspect, bite, handle, taste, or smell practically everything in the immediate environment.

The Five-Dimensional Model of Curiosity

Deprivation sensitivity—recognizing a gap in knowledge the filling of which offers relief. This type of curiosity doesn’t necessarily feel good, but people who experience it work relentlessly to solve problems. This dimension was derived from Berlyne and Loewenstein’s work.

Joyous exploration—being consumed with wonder about the fascinating features of the world. This is a pleasurable state; people in it seem to possess a joie de vivre. This dimension was influenced by Deci’s research.

Social curiosity—talking, listening, and observing others to learn what they are thinking and doing. Human beings are inherently social animals, and the most effective and efficient way to determine whether someone is friend or foe is to gain information. Some may even snoop, eavesdrop, or gossip to do so. This dimension stems from Renner’s research.

Stress tolerance—a willingness to accept and even harness the anxiety associated with novelty. People lacking this ability see information gaps, experience wonder, and are interested in others but are unlikely to step forward and explore. This dimension builds on recent work by Paul Silvia, a psychologist at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro.

Thrill seeking—being willing to take physical, social, and financial risks to acquire varied, complex, and intense experiences. For people with this capacity, the anxiety of confronting novelty is something to be amplified, not reduced. This dimension was inspired by Zuckerman's work.

The researchers conducted surveys across the United States to discover which of the dimensions lead to the best outcomes and generate particular benefits.

For instance, joyous exploration has the strongest link with the experience of intense positive emotions.

Stress tolerance has the strongest link with satisfying the need to feel competent, autonomous, and that one belongs.

Social curiosity has the strongest link with being a kind, generous, modest person.

They also explored attitudes toward and expressions of work-related curiosity.

In a survey of 3,000 workers in China, Germany, and the United States, they found that 84% believe that curiosity catalyzes new ideas, 74% think it inspires unique, valuable talents, and 63% think it helps one get promoted.

In other studies across diverse units and geographies, they have found evidence that 4 of the dimensions—joyous exploration, deprivation sensitivity, stress tolerance, and social curiosity—improve work outcomes.

The latter two seem to be particularly important: Without the ability to tolerate stress, employees are less likely to seek challenges and resources and to voice dissent and are more likely to feel enervated and to disengage.

And socially curious employees are better than others at resolving conflicts with colleagues, more likely to receive social support, and more effective at building connections, trust, and commitment on their teams.

People or groups high in both dimensions are more innovative and creative.

A monolithic view of curiosity is insufficient to understand how that quality drives success and fulfillment in work and life. To discover and leverage talent and to form groups that are greater than the sum of their parts, a more nuanced approach is needed.

Psychologists have compiled a large body of research on the many benefits of curiosity:

It enhances intelligence: In one study, highly curious children aged three to 11 improved their intelligence test scores by 12 points more than their least-curious counterparts did.

It increases perseverance, or grit: Merely describing a day when you felt curious has been shown to boost mental and physical energy by 20% more than recounting a time of profound happiness.

And curiosity propels us toward deeper engagement, superior performance, and more-meaningful goals: Psychology students who felt more curious than others during their first class enjoyed lectures more, got higher final grades, and subsequently enrolled in more courses in the discipline.

Since the 1950s psychologists have offered competing theories about what makes one person more curious than another. Rather than regard curiosity as a single trait, we can now break it down into five distinct dimensions. Instead of asking, “How curious are you?” we can ask, “How are you curious?”

Sources: 1 2 ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[babygurlaura]

REDESIGNING THE ACADEMY

STRUCTURE IN NARUTO

Honestly at times felt we should have seen more of Naruto academy days and think more could have been done showcasing how the ninja system works within Konoha which is a militarized system.

This is essentially apart of my naruto rewrite which creates a system for how ninjas are evaluated and taught within the academy. To start off we’ll start off with the entrance exam into the academy. We know from Shikamaru that you can decide whether or not you want to become a ninja. And also how a lot of ninjas who come from established clans are already taught basic and sometimes advance techniques. So with the idea of an entrance exam it’s meant to essentially evaluate the students ability and place them into the track course that’s fits their skill set.

Entrance Exam: Initial Placement Based on Ability

Purpose: Sort students into tiers or tracks based on their existing skill sets. This allows the narrative to reflect why clan children (like Sasuke, Neji, or Ino) are often more advanced due to family training.

Criteria: Intelligence (strategy, problem-solving), combat aptitude (sparring or basic taijutsu forms), chakra control, and maybe even psychological profiling (to match with senseis later).

Outcome: Students are placed into Track A (advanced), Track B (standard), or Track C (remedial) classes—or more tiers if needed.

Narrative Benefit: Shows Naruto’s underdog status isn’t just social—it’s systemic. He likely tested low due to a lack of home training or emotional instability, so he starts at the bottom tier.

Let’s now proceed with how these classes are leveled and the overall structure. There would be general classes such as history or math it makes sense in the grand scheme seeing the amount of propaganda that takes place within Konoha. But also these general courses would be utilized in strategy, mission planning and so on.

* side note Iruka would be placed as homeroom teacher who looks over all the students files and handles their evaluations *

now onto the tracks.

Shinobi Skill Tracks (Specialized Tiers)

Based on entrance exam results and ongoing evaluations, students are placed into Skill Tracks, each one tailored to their progress:

Track A (Advanced): Clan kids or prodigies like Sasuke, Shikamaru, Neji, Ino, etc.

Track B (Standard): Average students like Kiba, Hinata, and Choji.

Track C (Remedial/Development): Students like Naruto, who struggle with chakra control or combat due to a lack of prior training or trauma.

Track A: Advanced Track (Clan Prodigies & High Aptitude)

Track B: Standard Track (Average Performers with Growth Potential)

Track C: Developmental Track (Late Bloomers & Undertrained)

* side note Tenten was originally placed in track c but after further evaluation felt Track B was more suited for her but i have yet to make that adjustment cause i be working a lot *

One thing I plan on implementing into the academy would be practical mission simulations centered on team work, problem solving, leadership, stamina, and emotional maturity.

The format is basically three students, one from each track placed into a group with a professor often times Iruka to evaluate their teamwork skills mainly.

Always felt like these missions worked based for the academy as practical missions centered around teaching team work and so on.

Narrative Use:

Naruto repeatedly fails missions not because he’s uncooperative, but because others sabotage, ignore, or abandon him, reinforcing his isolation.

Iruka could witness this firsthand, shifting his attitude from skeptical to supportive.

Also for further clarification when it comes to the Track courses it’s a flexible system, students are able to “test into” specific Track A classes while still being officially enrolled in Track B or C. This allows for strength-based specialization and highlights individual talent rather than purely clan status.

How It Works:

Access Type | Requirement | Example Classes

Full Track A Enrollment

Consistently high evaluations across all areas

Sasuke, Neji, Shino, Ino

Partial Track A Access

High scores in specific subjects (written or practical)

Sakura (Genjutsu & Strategy), Shikamaru (Tactics)

Audit Access

Permission from the instructor + a qualifying project

Rock Lee (Taijutsu Theory), Hinata (Chakra Control)

======================================

Lastly how the students are evaluated and how they graduate.

For this purpose there are three evaluations, the first being one that’s done to permit you into the academy and see where your skill set lies. The second being the mid academy evaluation.

Mid-Academy Evaluation: Class Advancement or Early Graduation Eligibility

Purpose: Assess progress and see who is eligible to move up a class tier or skip ahead to graduation training.

Example: Itachi likely tested into Tier 1 from the start, and during his Mid-Evaluation, his Genjutsu proficiency and advanced battle sense flagged him as ready for early genin status.

This also adds stakes—students who don’t progress may be held back or even washed out of the Academy.

Pre-Graduation Evaluation: Readiness Check

This could be the equivalent of what Naruto kept failing—not the final “you pass or fail” moment, but an indicator of whether you're ready for the true graduation exam.

It would include:

Teamwork simulations

Mission mock-ups

Ninjutsu, Genjutsu, Taijutsu grading

Chakra nature, aptitude or potential

Graduation Exam: A Cumulative Test

Each class has a specific "Final Jutsu" (like Naruto’s class using Shadow Clones). It allows the exam to vary depending on the needs of the era, the teacher’s design, or even the village’s political state.

For Naruto’s class:

Passing would mean being able to safely and successfully use a multi-clone jutsu and complete a small mission simulation (like rescuing a “hostage” or retrieving a scroll).

Naruto fails this not just because he struggles with the technique, but because of chakra control and inconsistency, again reinforcing why the "failures" are more holistic than just one jutsu.

======================================

That’s all for my Ninja academy redesign I have made some example schedules for some of the Konoha 11 which shows how the tracks work and what classes they’d be place into. But i hope you liked my lil rambling and concept. This is honestly the most structured i’ve been with my post besides my Uzumaki OC.

[movingthisblogcelestialtarot11]

Degree Theory in Charts and Observations 🤍

Moon/sun at 8 or 20 degrees can signify trauma, releasing your ego and patterns that have hurt you subconsciously. 8 degrees and 20 both signify scorpios energy, and when placed on the big 3, it can dampen your signs energy. You may be a Leo sun, but when it's at 8 degrees your passion, creativity, and aspects of yourself can largely remain private. You are passionate, only to those you trust. Introverts become extroverts around the right people.

Gemini degrees on your moon/venus/sun 3, 15, 27 can suggest being a logical thinker, preferring to analyze your emotions and think deeply. You may like hearing podcasts on philosophy, emotional processing, books informed on trauma, and be interested in dissecting religion, spirituality, and occult related topics. Or how different cultures overall approach mental health or spirituality as a whole.

Luigi Mangione has Venus at 3 degrees and early on he wrote an essay portraying how christianity benefitted by appealing to the lower classes of ancient Rome at 15. His words not only reach a few people but a mass global scale, sharing his pain with those who suffered at the hands of the medical system. To this day he is currently seen as smart, intelligent, and romanticized even. He openly speaks out about the failing health care system. It's possible he may go on to write books in prison detailing his experiences and exposing the truth.

Also, his Mars is at 15 degrees of gemini, and it's a theory that this degree is associated with assassinations or killings. With Mars here, he was motivated by his anguish to make a move that started change. His sun is conj mars, so, he already has a following of those who look up to him as a savior, activist, and an important person in social justice.

George Orwell has his moon at 8 degrees in the 8h in Gemini, and he went on to describe the dangers of totalitarianism rising in the west. He wrote 1984 as a warning to the US, and his scorpio degrees also made him incredibly adept to the rising dangers in our politics.

He was intelligent, a philosopher, a politician, and someone who feared humanities behavior much more than the government itself. His sun sits in the 8h, further conveying his desire for truth, honesty and revealing how dark politics are and can be. He not only described the governments regime, but how mind control worked to steer us away from facts.

His sun was in cancer at 2 degrees (taurus) signifying his need for stability in an unstable world, applying practicality to his reasoning and not just spewing words of anger. He was strong in his reasoning, yet flexible to agree with Huxley (another philosopher)

The 22 degree (Capricorn) is considered heavy, intense, challenging and even traumatic whether it's placed on your personal planets or Chiron. It's usually associated with ruthlessness, discipline, and rigidity in the native. It's why people see them as powerful, and intimidating. Capricorn is destructive here, but ultimately leads to a transformation.

Sun at 13 degrees can indicate leaving a legacy, popularity, fame over media. Depending on where the sun sits, this will tell you how it happens. For example JonBenét Ramsey’s had her sun in the 4h at 13 degrees, which is critical. She was thrust into a family related legacy, and was required to uphold it through beauty pageants.

She was a star, with Leo in the 4h. But Aries degree here suggests an infliction of Mars, and her sun was weak (opposing moon) its possible this critical degree conveys what happened behind the scenes of her family life. Surrounded by pressure, aggression, all that responsibility being put onto her at a young age. It’s possible having an afflicted sun had her Mars energy amplified even more, conveying the aggression and high standards in her home life.

Moon at 12 degrees can suggest an empathetic, intuitive and sensitive individual. Someone who can read the room, perceives body language well, but can suffer from anxiety, overstimulation and overthinking. This can dissolve boundaries as well, leading to codependent behaviors, a lack of commitment to one’s healing journey for the sake of being there for others. This native can prefer to be by water, either at a beach, stream, river, etc. anywhere where they can be around nature is best for them.

Extra

Thanks all for reading! Let me know if I should make a pt 2 of this <3

Paid readings 🤍

[cosmic-vanity]

There’s a sick ass song from a Spanish trans man musician called Privilegios Masculinos; Masculine Privileges. It’s a song about Male Privilege, and the ways in which people who society perceives as male benefit from that perception.

He lists multiple examples in the lyrics of the song;

“Your intelligence isn’t measured by your hormonal processes

“You reach the highest ranks in official business”

“You are the beneficiary of your sexual organs, and you are justified by ‘natural causes’”

“You never cleaned the bathroom if you had a sister”

“The older a man, the hotter his greying”

“Owner of his word with memorised speeches to talk about your legs or how you’re dressed.”

These are very good examples of male privileges. The ability to excuse inappropriate transgressions with “boys will be boys”. The in existence of the glass ceiling. The fact that men don’t get criticised as much for showing signs of aging. Now, let’s unpack all of these in relation to trans men:

We suffer from it. Trans men constantly get either taunted about their periods or “roid rage” to mock displays of emotion.

We don’t reach! Several studies show that trans men get severely underpaid along with cis and trans women and come nowhere close to high ranks or decent salaries. The whole “starbucks barista with blue hair and pronouns” is a stereotype for a reason.

Wrong again! Trans men suffer plenty at the hands of their sexual organs. Corrective rape, denial of medical care… etc etc.

Loud incorrect buzzer. Trans men are absolutely expected to clean up the bathroom, because our periods are considered as dirty as cis women’s.

🚨🚨🚨! I’ve seen countless people online talking about how “ugly” elder trans men are. Our age does not give us any favours.

And finally; no again. Trans men are constantly criticised for our presentation choices whether we’re being perceived as women or men in the moment. You have long hair? You can’t do that! You choose not to shave? You also can’t do that!

Not a single privilege listed in this entire song applies to trans men. In fact, that’s the whole reason the song has a bunch of women singing along in different point in the song; because we all suffer below the patriarchy. That’s why there’s a minute-and-a-half audio clip of an 8M parade (feminist protests in Spain on the 8th of March) at the end of the song made BY A TRANS MAN. Because there is not a single male privilege that applies to trans men.

Next time a TRF tells you trans men have male privileges, ask them which. See how long it takes them to formulate an answer. And once they inevitably say something ridiculously out of touch, you’ll see how little they care about us. Or the feminist cause as a whole, really.

(Also, go listen to this banger. And maybe follow him on Spotify. He’s super talented and a really cool guy!)

[saebyeokbliss]

could u do a fic of saebyeok in college, but she sells drugs. Only cocaine, marijuana, and ecstasy. She does it so she can take care of cheol ofc. Saebyeok is also known to be a hoe. Constantly flirting with girls around campus so they can buy wtv drugs she has, sleeping w girls and then treating them like the don’t exist the next day. Yet saebyeoks fast life came to a complete stop when she met you. A shy girl who’s very clever. Saebyeok noticed a guy hitting on u w u visibly uncomfortable so saebyeok came to rescue you. After she asked if u had any money to buy some drugs off her to which you said you did’nt. Saebyeok asked if u smoked. The truth is you didn’t, you hated all drugs. It was embarrassing ur a 21 yr virgin hanging around saebyeok who has had her head in between a fair share of womens legs. Any ways you and saebyeok become fwb (friends w benefits). She acts like she doesnt like you,she says you guys are only using eachother to get off. She’s not entirely wrong but what happens when u both start developing feelings and saebyeok tells u a bit abt her personal life when shes high?

(Can we pretend saebyeok is 22 and reader is 21 🙏)

-💝( still dk if ur doing emoji anons it’s ok if not! No pressure)

ALL THE STARS

pairing: dealer!college au!kang sae-byeok x fem!reader synopsis: kang sae-byeok had a reputation around your college. the dealer, the girl who could get anyone she wanted. however, just like anyone else, she had a past and a life beyond what people called her. and you just happened to be the one to change her. warnings: angst, language, mentions of violence, illness, past trauma, drug use (past), recovery themes, slow burn, emotional moments, hurt/comfort

a/n: had this one brewing for while hehe

The red ink on the paper burned into your vision, each stroke of the professor’s pen a reminder of your failure.

72%.

It wasn’t failing, not technically, but for you? It may as well have been. You had always prided yourself on your intelligence, on your ability to stay ahead of the curve. But this? This was unacceptable.

Slumping in your seat, you shoved the paper into your bag, avoiding the pitiful glances from classmates who knew how much this would bother you. As soon as the lecture ended, you all but stormed out of the hall, only stopping when a familiar voice called after you.

“Hey, hey, slow down.” Ji-min grabbed your wrist gently, pulling you to a stop. Her brows furrowed as she studied your expression. “What’s wrong?”

You exhaled sharply. “I bombed the exam.”

Ji-min blinked. “Wait—bombed?” She scoffed. “What’d you get, a 90?”

“…72.”

Her lips parted slightly in surprise before she quickly schooled her expression into something more neutral. “Okay, so not your best, but it’s not the end of the world.”

“It feels like it,” you muttered, rubbing your temples.

Ji-min sighed, looping her arm through yours as she led you out of the building. “You need to relax. You’ve been overworking yourself for weeks, and it’s catching up to you. It’s just one test, and you’ll bounce back—like you always do.”

You didn’t respond, letting her drag you along as you sulked in silence. Ji-min was probably right, but that didn’t make you feel any better.

“Which is exactly why,” she continued, a mischievous glint in her eyes, “you’re coming to the party tonight.”

You groaned. “Ji-min—”

“Nope. No arguing.” She tightened her grip on your arm. “You need a night to unwind. And don’t even try to say you have studying to do.”

“I do, though,” you huffed.

“You always do.” Ji-min shook her head. “But just this once, let yourself breathe. Have a little fun. You don’t even have to drink—just come, dance a little, talk to people. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone.”

You rolled your eyes. “Because that’s exactly what I need right now.”

“Yes, actually.” She grinned. “A distraction.”

You frowned, hesitating. The idea of going to a crowded, sweaty party wasn’t exactly appealing, but… maybe Ji-min had a point. Maybe you did need a night to forget about everything—just for a little while.

“…Fine,” you relented, sighing.

Ji-min squealed in victory, squeezing your arm excitedly. “You won’t regret it.”

You had a feeling you just might.

You stared at your reflection in the mirror, second-guessing every single choice you had made for the night.

The black miniskirt hugged your waist just right, and the red lace top was a little more revealing than what you usually went for, but Ji-min had insisted that you “embrace your hotness.” Paired with delicate white lace socks and Mary Janes, you looked… cute. Maybe even really cute.

But was it you?

A knock at your door interrupted your thoughts. “Come on, let me see you!” Ji-min’s voice rang through your small apartment.

You sighed, smoothing down your skirt before stepping out. Ji-min’s eyes widened the moment she saw you, a grin stretching across her lips.

“Oh my God.” She grabbed your hands and spun you around. “You look adorable—but also kinda sexy? It’s giving ‘innocent but could ruin lives.’” She wiggled her brows suggestively.

You rolled your eyes, heat creeping up your neck. “You’re being dramatic.”

“No, I’m being correct.” Ji-min smirked, looping her arm through yours as she led you toward the door. “Come on, let’s go before you change your mind.”

The party was already in full swing by the time you arrived. The bass of whatever rap song was playing vibrated through the walls, and the air smelled like a mix of alcohol, weed, and sweat. People were packed into the house, some dancing, some making out in corners, and others just drunkenly shouting over the music.

You hesitated in the doorway, already overwhelmed.

Ji-min, on the other hand, was in her element.

“Alright, I’m gonna go kick some ass in Apateu,” she said, referring to the drinking game she was obsessed with. She gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. “You’ll be fine, yeah? Just get a drink, talk to people. You look too good to be standing alone all night.”

Before you could protest, she was gone, disappearing into the crowd with a wave.

You sighed, crossing your arms as you leaned against the wall, feeling out of place. You weren’t much of a drinker, and you weren’t interested in hooking up with some stranger, so what were you even doing here?

Lost in your thoughts, you barely noticed when someone stepped into your personal space.

“Hey,” a voice drawled.

You blinked up at the guy standing way too close to you. He was tall, decently attractive, but the cocky smirk on his face made you uneasy.

“You here alone?” he asked, his eyes shamelessly roaming over you.

You shifted uncomfortably. “No, I’m with a friend.”

He chuckled, taking a sip of whatever was in his red cup. “Haven’t seen you at one of these before. You new?”

You shook your head. “Not really. Just don’t go to parties much.”

“Makes sense. You seem… different from the usual crowd.” His smirk widened as he leaned in slightly, his voice dropping. “In a good way.”

You forced a polite smile, wishing Ji-min would miraculously reappear and drag you away.

“So, you wanna dance?” he asked, stepping closer.

You took a step back, your heart starting to race—not in a good way. “I’m okay, thanks.”

“Oh, come on.” He reached out, fingers brushing your arm. “Just one dance.”

Your stomach twisted. You weren’t scared, not exactly, but the way he was looking at you, like you were something to be convinced, made you uneasy.

And then—

A voice, smooth and slightly amused, cut through the tension.

“She said no.”

You turned your head, and there she was.

Kang Sae-byeok.

You had seen her around campus before—everyone had. She was infamous. Mysterious, sharp-eyed, and always carrying that lazy smirk that made girls fall at her feet, only to be discarded by morning. She was trouble, the kind of trouble that came wrapped in leather jackets and cigarette smoke, the kind that left a mess in its wake.

And right now, she was looking at the guy in front of you like he was something stuck to the bottom of her shoe.

“She said no,” Sae-byeok repeated, her voice firm, yet almost bored, like she had dealt with this kind of thing a hundred times before.

The guy scoffed, his grip on his drink tightening. “And who the hell are you?”

Sae-byeok tilted her head slightly, her dark eyes glinting under the dim party lights. “Doesn’t matter. What matters is that you back the fuck off.” She took a step closer, her presence alone enough to shift the energy in the air.

The guy hesitated, glancing between you and Sae-byeok, clearly debating whether it was worth pushing his luck. He must have decided against it because he let out an annoyed huff and muttered, “Whatever,” before disappearing into the crowd.

You exhaled, realizing you had been holding your breath.

“You okay?” Sae-byeok asked, her gaze flickering to yours.

You nodded quickly. “Yeah. Thanks for that.”

She studied you for a moment, then smirked. “He bothering you before I showed up?”

“Kind of,” you admitted, shifting on your feet. “He wouldn’t take the hint.”

Sae-byeok hummed, like she had expected that answer. “Guys like him are everywhere,” she muttered. Then, her smirk widened slightly. “Good thing you’ve got me, huh?”

You blinked. “I—uh—”

She chuckled, clearly amused by your flustered expression. “Relax. I’m just messing with you.” Her eyes flicked over your outfit, and she let out a low whistle. “Didn’t know girls like you came to these parties.”

You frowned. “Girls like me?”

She shrugged. “You just seem… different.”

You weren’t sure if that was a compliment or not. “Ji-min dragged me here,” you admitted.

“Ah.” Sae-byeok nodded knowingly. “That makes sense.”

You raised a brow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She smirked. “That you don’t really belong here.”

Your lips parted slightly, caught between offense and curiosity. “And you do?”

Sae-byeok chuckled, but there was something unreadable in her expression. “More than you think.”

Before you could ask what she meant, she leaned in slightly, close enough that you caught the faint scent of cigarettes and something sweet—maybe perfume, maybe something else.

“You got any money?” she asked, voice low.

You blinked, confused by the sudden shift. “What?”

“For a little something to take the edge off.” She smirked, tapping her fingers against her thigh. “Coke, weed, molly—I’ve got whatever you need.”

Your stomach twisted. You didn’t do drugs. You didn’t even drink.

“I don’t—” You hesitated, suddenly embarrassed. “I don’t do that stuff.”

Sae-byeok raised a brow, clearly surprised. “Really?”

You nodded.

She studied you for a second before her smirk returned, this time softer, almost teasing. “Cute.”

Heat crept up your neck. “I—I should probably find Ji-min.”

Sae-byeok chuckled, stepping back slightly. “Go ahead.”

You hesitated for a moment before turning to walk away, but you barely took two steps before her voice stopped you.

“Hey.”

You glanced over your shoulder.

Sae-byeok tilted her head, her dark eyes flickering with something unreadable. “See you around, yeah?”

You swallowed hard. “…Yeah.”

And with that, you disappeared into the party, your heart pounding for an entirely different reason than before.

The children’s home was always quieter than you expected.

You had been coming here for nearly a year now, visiting your little sister, Yu-jin, whenever you could. And yet, every time you stepped through those doors, the sterile stillness of the place made your chest tighten.

Yu-jin’s face lit up the moment she saw you, her small frame practically tackling you in a hug. “Unnie!”

You laughed softly, wrapping your arms around her. “Hey, baby. Did you miss me?”

She pulled back just enough to pout up at you. “Obviously.”

Your heart ached. She was only eight, still too young to really understand why she was here, why your parents—if they could even be called that—had decided she was too much to take care of. But she understood enough to know that you were the only one who still came back for her.

You spent the next hour with her, playing board games, helping her braid the hair of one of her dolls, and listening to her ramble about the latest school drama—who stole whose eraser, who got in trouble for talking too much, and how she definitely deserved extra dessert at lunch today.

It was a small escape, a moment where you could pretend things were normal.

But eventually, visiting hours started to wind down, and you had to say goodbye.

Yu-jin clung to your waist as you knelt in front of her. “You’ll come back soon, right?”

You smiled, brushing some hair out of her face. “Of course. I’ll be back before you even have time to miss me.”

She huffed. “Too late for that.”

Your chest tightened again, but you just pressed a kiss to the top of her head before gently prying her arms from around you. “Be good, okay?”

She nodded reluctantly, stepping back as one of the caretakers came to usher her inside.

You watched until she was out of sight before turning to leave, your heart heavy.

And that’s when you saw her.

Kang Sae-byeok.

She was walking down the hallway, hands shoved in the pockets of her oversized hoodie, her face unreadable. But what caught your attention wasn’t just her—it was the fact that she had just come from the same visiting area you had.

For a moment, she didn’t see you. But then, just as she was about to walk past, her dark eyes flickered up and met yours.

Recognition flashed across her face—followed immediately by something else. Something guarded.

You opened your mouth to say something, maybe a simple “hi,” maybe a question about why she was here, but before you could get a word out, she brushed past you without a single glance back.

No smirk. No teasing remark. Nothing.

Just silence.

You stood there, stunned, watching as she disappeared through the exit like she couldn’t get away fast enough.

And for the first time since meeting her, you saw a version of Sae-byeok that had nothing to do with her reputation, with the confident, untouchable girl who flirted with strangers and sold drugs like it was second nature.

This was something else entirely.

And you weren’t sure what to make of it.

You really needed to start saying no to Ji-min.

Another party, another night of being dragged into a place where you didn’t belong. The music was loud, the air thick with the scent of alcohol and weed, and bodies moved together in a sweaty, chaotic rhythm.

You sighed, nursing the same half-empty cup of soda you had been holding for the past twenty minutes. Ji-min had already disappeared into some drinking game, leaving you to lean against the wall, watching the party unfold around you.

And then—

A familiar voice, smooth and teasing, cut through the noise.

“Didn’t think I’d see you here again.”

You turned your head, heart stuttering for half a second.

Sae-byeok.

She was dressed in her usual effortless way—baggy jeans, a fitted black top, and her signature leather jacket slung over her shoulders. But it wasn’t just her presence that caught you off guard.

It was the fact that this time, she was actually talking to you.

“I could say the same about you,” you shot back, raising a brow.

Sae-byeok smirked. “Pretty sure that’s not true.”

You rolled your eyes, but there was no real annoyance behind it. “What do you want?”

She tilted her head like she was considering something, her dark eyes scanning over you in a way that made your skin heat. “Maybe just some company.”

You blinked. “You? Want my company?”

She chuckled, leaning against the wall beside you. “Yeah, why not?”

You hesitated. After what happened at the children’s home, you half-expected her to keep avoiding you. But now, here she was, acting like that moment had never happened. Like she hadn’t practically run past you without a word.

Maybe it was better not to ask.

So instead, you shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Fine. But I’m not drinking, so if you’re trying to—”

“I don’t care about that,” she interrupted, smirk still in place. “Just talk to me.”

And so, you did.

You weren’t sure how it happened, but somehow, you and Sae-byeok ended up spending the rest of the party together. She wasn’t as closed-off as you’d expected—she was sarcastic, quick-witted, and had a way of making you laugh without even trying.

She also had a way of making you nervous.

Because the longer you talked, the closer she got. A hand on your waist as she leaned in to hear you better. Fingers brushing against your arm, her breath warm against your ear when she made a teasing remark.

By the time you realized what was happening, it was already too late.

You wanted her.

And she knew it.

Which was probably why, an hour later, you found yourself pressed against your apartment door, Sae-byeok’s lips hot against yours.

You barely remembered how you got there. One second, she was murmuring something about leaving the party, and the next, her hands were on you, her jacket discarded somewhere on the floor as she kissed you like she had been waiting all night for it.

Your fingers tangled in her hair, a soft gasp escaping you when she pressed her body flush against yours. She tasted like cigarettes and something sweet, something undeniably her.

“This okay?” she murmured against your lips, her hands slipping under your shirt, warm against your skin.

You nodded, breathless. “Yeah.”

That was all she needed.

The rest of the night blurred together in a haze of soft moans and tangled sheets, of Sae-byeok’s lips against your skin, her hands exploring every inch of you like she was mapping out something she planned to return to.

And when it was over, when you were both spent and lying in the quiet of your room, you half-expected her to leave.

But she didn’t.

Instead, she lay next to you, her breathing steady in the dim light. Not touching, not speaking. Just existing in the same space.

It felt like something shifted in the air between you.

Something unspoken.

Something neither of you were ready to acknowledge.

Not yet.

The thing about sleeping with Kang Sae-byeok was that it didn’t just stay in your apartment.

It bled into your everyday life—subtle but unmistakable.

At school, it was the way her hand would brush against your waist when she passed by in the hallway, her fingers just barely ghosting over the fabric of your skirt before she was gone. It was the way she’d smirk at you across the library, eyes dark with implication, as if daring you to recall exactly what she had done to you the night before.

It was in the stolen moments between classes, when she’d pull you into an empty classroom or an abandoned stairwell, pressing you against the wall with her lips on your neck, her hands slipping under your shirt just long enough to leave a mark—something only the two of you knew was there.

Yet no one ever caught on.

Not Ji-min, who still dragged you to parties without realizing you had already found the ultimate distraction. Not your professors, who had no idea that the reason you were sometimes a little dazed in class was because Sae-byeok had been between your legs just an hour before.

And certainly not the girls who still fell for Sae-byeok’s effortless charm, unaware that no matter how much she flirted, no matter how many lingering glances she gave them, she always ended up in your bed.

But if anyone should have noticed, it was Chae-won.

Chae-won was one of Sae-byeok’s old hookups—one of many, from what you had heard. She was also a regular customer, which was probably why she was currently pressed up against Sae-byeok outside of one of the campus buildings, whispering something in her ear.

You weren’t close enough to hear, but you didn’t need to.

You could tell exactly what was happening.

Sae-byeok, however, looked… bored.

She handed Chae-won a small baggie—probably molly, maybe coke—and took the cash in exchange, slipping it into her pocket without a word.

Chae-won, clearly expecting more, leaned in closer, her fingers trailing down Sae-byeok’s arm. “Come on, babe,” she murmured, her voice just loud enough for you to catch. “It’s been a while.”

Sae-byeok didn’t even hesitate.

“No.”

Chae-won blinked. “What?”

Sae-byeok sighed, stepping back slightly. “You got what you wanted,” she said, nodding toward the baggie in Chae-won’s hand. “Now go.”

Chae-won’s expression twisted into something almost petulant. “So that’s it? You’re just done with me?”

Sae-byeok’s gaze was flat. “Yeah.”

For a second, Chae-won looked like she might argue, but then she scoffed, shoving the drugs into her pocket. “Whatever,” she muttered before turning on her heel and stalking away.

Sae-byeok watched her go, her expression unreadable. Then, as if sensing your gaze, she glanced up—directly at you.

You raised a brow.

She smirked.

And just like that, she was walking toward you, slipping her hands into her pockets like nothing had happened.

The room was quiet except for the occasional hum of traffic outside your window and the soft rustling of sheets as Sae-byeok shifted beside you.

She was staying the night again.

It had started as just another hookup, another night tangled in each other, breathless and flushed against the sheets. But now, hours later, she was still here, lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling as she took another hit from the joint she had rolled earlier.

You watched as she exhaled slowly, the smoke curling lazily in the dim glow of your bedside lamp.

“You’re gonna stink up my room,” you muttered, but there was no real annoyance in your voice.

Sae-byeok smirked, turning her head to look at you. “You say that like I haven’t already.”

You rolled your eyes, but she wasn’t wrong. The scent of weed mixed with the lingering traces of sweat and sex—of her—was all over your sheets.

You expected her to just enjoy her high in silence, like she usually did. But tonight, something was different.

Because tonight, Sae-byeok started talking.

“You ever think about how fucked up everything is?” she mused, her voice slightly hazy from the weed.

You blinked. “That’s… vague.”

She chuckled, but there was something bitter underneath it. “I mean life. How some people just get fucked over from the start while others have everything handed to them.” She took another drag, then exhaled. “I used to think I could change that. Like, if I worked hard enough, I could make things better.”

You stayed quiet, sensing something deeper in her words.

Sae-byeok let out a sharp breath, shaking her head. “But that’s bullshit. No matter how hard you work, if you’re born at the bottom, you stay at the bottom—unless you’re willing to do whatever it takes.”

You swallowed, watching the way her fingers tightened slightly around the joint.

“That’s why I do what I do,” she continued, staring at the ceiling again. “Selling, stealing, fucking people over if I have to. Because no one’s ever given a shit about me or my brother, so why should I play by the rules? The rules were never made for people like us.”

Her voice cracked slightly on that last part, and your chest ached.

You had known—or at least suspected—that her life wasn’t easy. But hearing it from her, hearing the raw frustration, the exhaustion, the pain in her words… it was different.

You hesitated before reaching out, gently taking the joint from her fingers and setting it aside in the ashtray.

She turned her head toward you, blinking slowly, her pupils blown wide from the high.

“Why are you telling me this?” you asked softly.

Sae-byeok scoffed, but it lacked her usual sharpness. “Maybe I’m too high to shut up.”

You studied her for a moment before murmuring, “Or maybe you just don’t want to be alone with it anymore.”

She didn’t say anything, but the way her jaw tightened told you enough.

You moved closer, hesitantly brushing your fingers over hers. Her breath hitched slightly, but she didn’t pull away.

Instead, she turned onto her side, her dark eyes searching yours, something vulnerable flickering beneath the usual guardedness.

Then, suddenly, her lips were on yours.

It wasn’t like your usual kisses.

This wasn’t rushed, wasn’t just a means to an end. This was slow, deep, desperate in a way that had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with something neither of you were ready to name.

You kissed her back just as fiercely, your fingers threading through her hair, pulling her closer, grounding her.

When you finally broke apart, your foreheads rested together, your breaths mingling in the quiet.

“I’m here for you,” you murmured. “Not just for this. For you.”

Sae-byeok tensed slightly, like she wasn’t sure how to process that.

But then, after a long moment, she exhaled and pressed her lips to yours again—softer this time.

The children’s home always had a certain stillness to it, but today, it felt different. Heavier.

You had barely stepped through the doors when the head caretaker, Mrs. Park, approached you, her expression unusually serious.

“Ah, you’re here,” she said, folding her hands in front of her. “I was hoping to talk to you.”

Your stomach twisted. “Is Yu-jin okay?”

Mrs. Park hesitated, and that hesitation alone was enough to make your heart drop.

“She hasn’t been feeling well lately,” she admitted gently. “Nothing too alarming, but she’s been fatigued, hasn’t had much of an appetite, and she’s been getting a lot of bruises.”

You frowned. “Bruises?”

“She says she doesn’t remember how she got them,” Mrs. Park continued, concern etched into her features. “Normally, I’d assume it’s just roughhousing with the other kids, but… I think it would be best if you took her to a doctor.”

Your breath caught in your throat.

Yu-jin was small, but she was tough. She rarely got sick, and when she did, she never complained about it.

If she was acting off, then something was really wrong.

“I’ll take her,” you said immediately. “I’ll call around and see if I can get an appointment for her soon.”

Mrs. Park nodded, giving you a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “She’s in the playroom. She’ll be happy to see you.”

You forced a smile, but your mind was already racing.

You didn’t have much money. Your parents had made sure of that when they dumped Yu-jin at the home and left you to fend for yourself. You could probably scrape together enough for a basic check-up, but if something more serious was going on…

You swallowed hard. You couldn’t think like that. Not yet.

Taking a steadying breath, you made your way to the playroom.

Yu-jin’s face lit up the moment she saw you, but as she ran toward you, you noticed it.

She looked pale. Too pale. And when she threw her arms around you, she felt too light, like she had lost weight since your last visit.

“Unnie!” she chirped, but her voice had a slight rasp to it.

You pulled back slightly, trying to keep the worry off your face. “Hey, baby,” you murmured, brushing some hair out of her face. “How are you feeling?”

She shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”

“Mrs. Park said you’ve been tired a lot,” you pressed gently.

Yu-jin pouted. “I just get sleepy. And my legs feel weird sometimes.”

Your stomach clenched.

You needed to get her to a doctor. Soon.

But how the hell were you going to afford it?

And Sae-byeok wasn’t stupid.

She noticed things.

She noticed the way your smile didn’t reach your eyes when you greeted her. The way your responses were shorter, more distant. The way you barely reacted when she slid a hand along your waist in the empty hallway between classes, when normally, you’d roll your eyes and tell her to behave.

At first, she didn’t say anything.

She just watched.

Waited.

But when you barely looked at her during the entire party Ji-min had dragged you to, she had enough.

The moment she got you alone—outside on the balcony, away from the swarm of drunken students—she pressed you against the railing, her hands bracketing you in, her dark eyes scanning your face.

“What’s wrong with you?” she asked bluntly.

You blinked, caught off guard. “What?”

“You’ve been weird all week.” Her head tilted slightly, searching your expression. “What’s going on?”

You swallowed, avoiding her gaze. “Nothing. I’m just tired.”

Sae-byeok didn’t buy it.

She leaned in slightly, lowering her voice. “You never get tired of this.” Her fingers brushed against your hip, her touch light but suggestive. “So what is it?”

For a second, you almost gave in.

Almost let her kiss the thoughts out of your head, let her hands distract you from the weight sitting heavy on your chest.

But you just… couldn’t.

Gently, you reached down and pushed her hand away.

“I’m just not in the mood,” you murmured, barely recognizing the words as they left your lips.

Sae-byeok froze.

It was small, barely noticeable, but you felt the way her body tensed for half a second before she pulled back.

She studied you, her expression unreadable.

Then, she scoffed lightly, shoving her hands into her pockets. “Huh.”

You frowned. “What?”

“Nothing,” she muttered, glancing away. “Guess I’ll see you later, then.”

And just like that, she was gone, disappearing back into the party without another word.

You exhaled, gripping the railing tightly as you shut your eyes.

You knew she wasn’t mad.

But you also knew that Sae-byeok didn’t do feelings.

And for the first time, you worried that she might take your distance as something it wasn’t.

That she might think you didn’t want her anymore.

When really, she was the only person you didn’t want to push away.

Sae-byeok hadn’t planned on staying long.

She never did when she came to visit Cheol. The children’s home always felt too sterile, too full of things she didn’t want to think about. But she came anyway—because Cheol needed her. Because she was the only one looking out for him.

But today, something was wrong.

The moment she stepped through the front gates, she noticed the emergency vehicle parked outside, its flashing lights casting eerie reflections against the windows. A group of caretakers stood near the entrance, their faces tight with concern as paramedics wheeled out a small gurney.

A child lay on it.

A little girl.

Sae-byeok barely spared the scene a glance. Kids got sick all the time. Accidents happened. It wasn’t any of her business.

She walked past them, slipping inside the building and heading toward the playroom where she knew Cheol would be.

When she found him, he was sitting on the floor, his coloring book open in front of him—but he wasn’t coloring. He was just staring at the page, gripping a crayon so tightly his knuckles were white.

Sae-byeok frowned, crouching down beside him. “What’s with you?”

Cheol glanced up, his face unusually serious. “Yu-jin got sick.”

Sae-byeok blinked. “Who?”

“My friend.” He pointed toward the door, as if she should’ve already known. “She was here with me. We were coloring, and then she said she felt dizzy. She tried to stand up, but she just—” He hesitated, swallowing hard. “She fell, noona. She wouldn’t wake up. The teachers called the ambulance.”

Something in Sae-byeok’s chest twisted uncomfortably.

She exhaled, ruffling Cheol’s hair in what she hoped was a reassuring way. “She’ll be fine,” she muttered. “Hospitals know what they’re doing.”

Cheol didn’t look convinced, but he just nodded, his small fingers still clenched around the crayon.

Sae-byeok sighed, about to change the subject—

Then, movement outside caught her eye.

She turned her head, glancing through the window just in time to see you rushing toward the caretakers, your face pale, your breathing uneven.

You were crying.

Sae-byeok went still.

You barely even spoke before one of the women gently grabbed your arms, trying to steady you, trying to explain something.

And suddenly, everything clicked.

The little girl.

Yu-jin.

Your sister.

Sae-byeok’s stomach dropped.

She had never asked much about your life. Never pried, never pushed. But she had seen you at this home before. She had known you were visiting someone.

And now, she knew exactly who.

Her heart hammered in her chest as she watched you wipe at your tears, nodding shakily to whatever one of the caretakers was saying before turning toward the emergency vehicle.

Sae-byeok wasn’t sure what she was doing before she was already moving.

Sae-byeok barely spared Cheol a glance as she stood up.

“I gotta go,” she muttered, ruffling his hair quickly before heading for the door.

She ignored the way he called after her, ignored the way her own pulse pounded in her ears.

Because right now, nothing mattered except getting to you.

By the time she stepped outside, you were still standing near the emergency vehicle, your hands shaking as you wiped at your face. The paramedics were already inside, shutting the doors, preparing to drive off.

Sae-byeok barely hesitated before striding up to you.

“What happened?” she asked, her voice sharp but not unkind.

You startled slightly, turning to her with wide, tear-filled eyes. For a second, you just stared at her, like you couldn’t believe she was actually here.

Then, your face crumpled, and you exhaled shakily.

“It’s Yu-jin,” you murmured. “She—she’s been sick for weeks, but I thought—” You swallowed hard, gripping your arms as if to hold yourself together. “She collapsed. They think it’s aplastic anemia.”

Sae-byeok frowned. “What the hell is that?”

“It—it means her bone marrow isn’t making enough blood cells. She’s been pale, getting bruises, getting tired easily…” You inhaled sharply, shaking your head. “I should’ve taken her to a doctor sooner.”

Your voice broke on that last word, and Sae-byeok felt something clench painfully in her chest.

She wasn’t good at this. At comforting people. At knowing what to say.

But fuck, she hated seeing you like this.

So she did the only thing she could.

“Come on,” she said, grabbing your wrist firmly but gently.

You blinked. “What?”

“I’m coming with you.”

You hesitated, your lip trembling. “Sae-byeok, you don’t have to—”

“I know,” she interrupted. “But I’m still going.”

You stared at her for a moment, like you were trying to find a reason to push her away.

But then, something in you gave in.

You nodded.

And without another word, the two of you got into your car and drove to the hospital.

Sae-byeok didn’t let go of your wrist the entire way.

The hospital smelled like antiseptic and something sterile, something cold.

You hated it.

You sat in one of the stiff plastic chairs in the waiting room, your knee bouncing anxiously, your fingers twisting together in your lap. The fluorescent lights above you buzzed faintly, but everything else had faded into white noise.

You could still see Yu-jin in your head—too pale, too small, strapped to a gurney with an oxygen mask over her face as they wheeled her away.

Your stomach twisted.

Beside you, Sae-byeok sat silently, her arms crossed, her expression unreadable.

She hadn’t left your side since you got here.

She hadn’t said much either—not since the nurse had told you that Yu-jin was being stabilized, that a doctor would come speak to you soon.

At first, you weren’t sure why she had come at all.

This wasn’t her problem. She didn’t do emotional support. She didn’t do waiting rooms or hospitals or sitting next to you while you tried to keep from falling apart.

But she was here.

And when your breath hitched, when your fingers clenched into fists against your thighs, she moved.

Wordlessly, her hand slid over yours, her fingers prying yours open, threading through them.

You swallowed hard, your throat tight.

“I’m scared,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Sae-byeok exhaled softly, her thumb brushing over your knuckles. “I know.”

You turned to look at her. “She’s all I have.”

Sae-byeok’s jaw tightened slightly, her dark eyes flickering with something you couldn’t quite place.

Then, after a long moment, she squeezed your hand.

“No, she’s not.”

Your lips parted slightly, your pulse stuttering.

Sae-byeok didn’t elaborate.

She just kept holding your hand, grounding you, keeping you tethered to something solid as the minutes dragged by.

The waiting room had never felt so suffocating.

Every second that passed felt like an eternity, stretching thin over the weight pressing against your chest. Sae-byeok’s hand in yours was the only thing keeping you grounded, keeping you from spiraling completely.

Then, finally, the doctor arrived.

She was a middle-aged woman with tired eyes and a clipboard tucked under her arm. She gave you a small, professional smile before sitting down across from you.

“You’re Yu-jin’s guardian?” she asked gently.

You nodded quickly. “Yes. How is she?”

The doctor sighed, folding her hands in her lap. “She’s stable for now, but her condition is serious. Aplastic anemia is rare, but it can be treated. However, it requires aggressive management—blood transfusions, medications, and in severe cases, a bone marrow transplant.”

Your stomach twisted. “A transplant?”

She nodded. “It’s the best chance for a full recovery, but it’s not easy to find a compatible donor. In the meantime, we’ll need to start her on immediate treatments to manage her symptoms.”

Your pulse pounded in your ears. “And… how much will that cost?”

The doctor’s expression softened, as if she had been expecting that question. “That depends. Do you have insurance?”

You opened your mouth—then closed it.

Your fingers curled against your jeans, gripping the fabric tightly. You could feel Sae-byeok watching you, waiting for your answer.

But you didn’t have one.

Because you already knew the truth.

You had nothing. No insurance. No savings. Just barely enough money to scrape by, let alone pay for something as massive as this.

But you couldn’t say that.

Not out loud.

So instead, you swallowed past the lump in your throat and forced a small, polite smile.

“Thank you for your help, doctor,” you murmured.

The woman hesitated, her gaze flickering over you, as if she could see the weight of what you weren’t saying.

But she just nodded. “Of course. I’ll have a nurse bring you the paperwork soon. In the meantime, you can see Yu-jin once she’s moved to a room.”

You nodded stiffly, watching as the doctor stood and walked away.

The second she was gone, you felt Sae-byeok shift beside you.

“You don’t have insurance,” she said flatly.

You inhaled sharply, keeping your eyes on the floor. “I’ll figure something out.”

Sae-byeok didn’t respond right away.

Then, quietly—

“You can’t pay for this, can you?”

Your throat tightened.

You couldn’t look at her.

Because if you did, you’d break.

So instead, you just squeezed your hands into fists, forcing yourself to take a deep breath.

“I’ll figure it out,” you repeated, but the words felt empty.

Because you had no idea how.

Lunch at school was usually loud—full of chatter, laughter, and the occasional shouting match over stolen food.

But at your table, it was quiet.

You barely touched your tray, pushing food around absentmindedly with your chopsticks. Your mind was still at the hospital, still stuck in that suffocating waiting room, still haunted by the sight of Yu-jin lying in that hospital bed, too small, too pale.

Sae-byeok sat across from you, watching.

She had been watching you all morning.

And when she finally spoke, her voice was calm. Steady.

“Here.”

You blinked, looking up just in time to see her slide something across the table toward you.

A thick envelope.

You frowned. “What is this?”

Sae-byeok didn’t answer right away. She just leaned back in her chair, arms crossed, her expression unreadable.

“Take it,” she said simply.

You hesitated, fingers hovering over the envelope before finally picking it up and peeking inside—

And your breath caught.

It was cash.

A lot of cash. Stacks of bills, neatly bundled together, more money than you had ever held in your hands before.

Your stomach twisted. “Sae-byeok…”

“For Yu-jin,” she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

You shook your head immediately, pushing the envelope back toward her. “No. No, I can’t take this.”

Sae-byeok’s jaw clenched. “You don’t have a choice.”

“Yes, I do!” Your voice was quiet but urgent, pleading. “Sae-byeok, this is your money. You worked for this. I can’t take everything you have—”

“I don’t need it,” she interrupted.

You swallowed, shaking your head again. “Please,” you whispered. “Don’t do this.”

For the first time, something flickered in her expression. Maybe frustration. Maybe something else.

But after a moment, she exhaled, grabbing the envelope and shoving it back into her bag.

“Fine,” she muttered. “I won’t force you.”

You sagged with relief. “Thank you.”

Sae-byeok didn’t say anything.

She just nodded, finishing her food in silence.

You thought that was the end of it.

You thought she had listened.

But you should’ve known better.

Sae-byeok skipped her afternoon classes.

No one stopped her when she slipped out the back of the school, her bag slung over her shoulder, her hood pulled up.

She had a job to do.

Getting to the hospital didn’t take long. She had been there before, knew her way around well enough. And it wasn’t hard to figure out where to go—she had overheard the doctor say Yu-jin’s name, had seen the forms in your hands.

Kim Yu-jin.

When she reached the billing office, she didn’t hesitate.

The receptionist barely glanced up. “Can I help you?”

“I’m here to pay a bill,” Sae-byeok said smoothly, pulling out the envelope of cash and setting it on the counter. “For Kim Yu-jin.”

The receptionist blinked, clearly surprised. “Are you a family member?”

Sae-byeok didn’t even flinch. “Yeah.”

The woman hesitated before nodding, typing something into the computer. “Alright. The family still has a significant balance, but this will cover a large portion of the immediate treatments.”

“Good.”

The receptionist paused, glancing at the cash before looking back at her.

“No questions?” she asked carefully.

Sae-byeok met her gaze, unblinking. "Nope."

You knew something was wrong the moment you walked into the hospital.

The nurse at the front desk greeted you with a polite smile, the kind that only made your stomach twist.

“Good evening, Miss Kim,” she said. “We wanted to let you know that a substantial payment was made toward Yu-jin’s treatment earlier today.”

Your breath caught.

“What?”

The nurse nodded. “Yes, a young woman came in this afternoon. She said she was family and paid in cash.”

Your fingers curled against the counter.

A young woman.

Cash.

No.

No, she wouldn’t—

Your heart pounded as you spun on your heel, barely muttering a thank-you before storming out of the hospital.

You already knew where to find her.

Sae-byeok was leaning against the gate in front of the school when you found her, hands stuffed into her jacket pockets, looking like she didn’t have a care in the world.

But the moment she saw your face, her expression shifted.

You didn’t slow down.

The second you reached her, you shoved at her shoulder—hard.

She barely stumbled, just blinked at you, unimpressed. “What the hell—”

“What did you do?” you hissed.

Sae-byeok exhaled, rolling her eyes. “You already know.”

Your hands clenched into fists at your sides. “I told you not to—”

“And I told you that you didn’t have a choice.”

Your chest tightened. “That wasn’t your decision to make!”

Sae-byeok scoffed. “Yeah? And what was your plan, then? Huh?” She took a step closer, her voice low but sharp. “Just sit around and hope the money magically appears? Let Yu-jin get worse because you’re too fucking proud to accept help?”

You flinched, your throat tightening. “That’s not—”

“She needs treatment,” Sae-byeok snapped. “She needs money. And you don’t have any.”

You swallowed hard, blinking rapidly. “And you do?”

She didn’t answer.

But she didn’t have to.

Because you knew.

You had always known.

Sae-byeok didn’t have a normal job. She didn’t come from money. The cash she had given you—it wasn’t clean.

And she had spent it all on you.

Your eyes burned.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” you whispered.

Sae-byeok’s jaw tightened. “Yeah, well.” She looked away, exhaling sharply. “Too late.”

Something in you cracked.

Because this—this wasn’t how it was supposed to be. You weren’t supposed to need her. You weren’t supposed to owe her.

But now, you did.

And you had no idea how to handle that.

So instead, you just inhaled shakily, shaking your head. “I don’t know how to repay you.”

Sae-byeok studied you for a long moment.

Then, quietly—

“I don’t want your money.”

You swallowed. “Then what do you want?”

She hesitated, her fingers twitching slightly in her pockets.

Then—

“You.”

Your breath hitched.

But before you could even begin to respond, she turned away.

“Come on,” she muttered. “I’ll walk you home.”

And just like that, the conversation was over.

But the weight of her words stayed with you the entire way back.

[lawinspire]

In today’s rapidly evolving world, intelligence alone is no longer the golden ticket to success. While IQ may help you ace tests or solve equations, it’s emotional intelligence in personal growth and EQ for professional success that truly separates high achievers from the rest. Whether you’re leading a team, navigating personal relationships, or trying to find balance in life, developing your emotional intelligence could be the most transformative journey you embark on.

At La Winspire, we’ve seen firsthand how honing emotional intelligence unlocks a deeper understanding of self and others. It boosts confidence, improves communication, enhances leadership, and helps individuals thrive in both their personal and professional spheres.

[fluffyseapancakes]

Found Family

First fic I've written in a while (like two years???) so please forgive me if you see any formatting errors or I commit a Tumblr faux pas. It's been a while lol.

AroAce!Reader x ler!Bucky Barnes x ler!Steve Rogers (all platonic)

Notes: tickles, bad date, some angst, mentions of periods.

Word Count: 4,645

You're a SHIELD agent who always had to prove yourself and as a result, bottled up your emotions. You decided to go on a first date due to pressure from your family but it doesn't go as planned, so your found family is there to support you and make you laugh.

Being embarrassed never really phased you. Growing up with three high-achieving older siblings, taking college courses where you were often the only woman in the class, and getting your ass beat over and over again while training to be a SHIELD agent helped you develop enough of a thick skin to shrug the emotions off. Sure it still stung, but you refused to let it show and instead, worked tirelessly day and night to prove everyone wrong. In a span of three short years, you went from fresh out of college nerdy IT kid to a highly respected SHIELD agent specializing in Threat Intelligence Analysis. It was a pretty cushy job, you had your own office but was allowed to work from home if you wanted to, great benefits, a salary that allowed you to live comfortably, and best of all: no field work. As long as you had your equipment, you were able to assist other SHIELD agents from the comforts of your own home (or office). 

Until one afternoon, your supervisor dropped the bombshell that you will be relocated due to a privacy breach that a foolish intern forgot to report until it was too late. Because of all the high-risk cases you had worked on including tracking down Hydra sleeper cells, your name was on the top of the list. 

“But Hydra is barely a threat now, those cells weren’t even operational,” you tried to plead your case. 

“That is true but the breach wasn’t organized by Hydra,” your supervisor calmly explained, “that list went out to multiple terrorist organizations. They have your name and address, and I am not risking your safety. SHIELD is sending you somewhere safe until the breach is contained and we figure out who started this.” 

“There’s nowhere else that’s safer than SHIELD’s headquarters.” 

Your supervisor shook her head, “Our security measures are not as secure as we had hoped. Arrangements have been made for you to stay at Stark Tower in the meantime.” 

“Wait…Stark Tower? With the Avengers?” 

“Yes, Agent. Is there a problem?” 

“I just have some concerns that I may not be the best fit with the Avengers,” you tried to hide your anxiety but your supervisor could sense it through your stoic exterior, “I’m afraid I may be a hindrance to them.” 

“You’ll be fine Agent,” your supervisor patted your back reassuringly, “Tony Stark has already briefed them about you and apparently they are all excited to meet you,” she winked. 

“Wait what??”

2 Months Later

Your supervisor was right, fitting in with the Avengers was much easier than you expected. Tony cleaned out a spare room for you to use as an office and he marvelled at your equipment, asking you questions that you were pretty sure he knew but it was his way of making conversation. Everyone respected your space and never commented when you spent the entire day in front of your computer. Eventually you started spending most evenings with the group and played games, watched movies, and ate pizza with them. Sam Wilson gave you the nickname “Baby Avenger” because of your young-ish age and you pretended to hate it, but it was nice to finally be included in a group of friends. You were the youngest in your family and college classes so you spent your whole life trying to act mature like your peers. But now, watching Thor throw popcorn at Steve Rogers while Bucky Barnes pretended to strangle Clint Barton over a game of Uno, made you realize how fun it was to engage in childish activities. 

After only a few months of moving in, you developed a close relationship with Steve and Bucky fairly quickly. You considered all of the Avengers your best friends, but the super soldiers were extremely protective of you and you started viewing them as older brothers. They took you out for ice cream when you needed a break from work, pulled small annoying pranks to make you smile, and treated you like any normal young adult instead of a hardened SHIELD agent. 

“You know what I just realized?” Steve announced as you walked into the kitchen, still drowsy from sleep. He and Bucky were sitting at the counter sipping on their black coffees and reading the newspaper, which you silently noted to tease them for later. But first, you needed coffee. 

“Revelations this early in the morning?” You yawned. You grabbed a plain white mug from the cupboard and poured the piping hot coffee to the top. Bucky cringed as you carefully carried it to the counter, half expecting the coffee to spill and burn you. 

“We’ve never heard you laugh,” Steve continued on, “not even a single chuckle.” 

“Not everyone laughs like you and Thor,” you rolled your eyes, “and smiling counts.” 

Bucky snorted and shook his head, “Smiling isn’t the same as laughing, Doll.” 

“Then give me something to laugh about.” 

“What, you’re saying that we’re not funny?” Steve dramatically placed a hand on his heart. 

“If you both are so hell-bent on making me laugh, go ahead. I’m busy tonight so you knuckleheads will have time to brainstorm,” you took a generous swig of your coffee. 

“What’s going on tonight? We don’t have anything planned,” Bucky sounded so sweet and in that moment you wanted to reach out to pat his head like a puppy. 

“I have a date,” you winked. 

“A date?!” You swore you heard their hearts stop at the same time. 

“What? My supervisor told me it’s fine as long as I have a tracker on me, and I need to get out and socialize with normal people.” 

“Who is this guy–?” Steve interjected. 

“–or lady,” Bucky quickly added. 

“His name is Ben, we were in the same training group at SHIELD but never really got to talk. He reached out the other night wanting to catch up so I’m grabbing dinner with him tonight.”

“We need to know everything about this guy. Didn’t you say everyone in your training group were assholes?” Bucky said with concern written all over his face. 

“Relax, it’s been over three years. People change and besides, he was the only one I could beat in a sparring match so I’ll be fine.” 

“But with the data breach…” Steve started. 

“You two have been constantly telling me to act my age, going on one date isn’t going to hurt anyone. Tony and Nat approved,” you glared at Steve and Bucky, “and I promise I’m not going to do anything crazy.”

Bucky groaned in his hands and rubbed at his eyes, “Fine, but you’re getting a curfew and you have to keep us updated.” 

“I have it all under control,” you smirked. 

You, in fact, did not have any of this under control. 

You conveniently failed to tell Tony, Nat, Steve, and Bucky that this was your first date. The closest experience you had was going to homecoming with your older brother’s friend in high school but the poor guy just felt insecure about going alone and after pictures, he abandoned you at a table while he tried to flirt with other girls. College didn’t give you any time to date since you were getting a dual degree and dating during SHIELD’s training was a big no-no (although some trainees found time to hook-up every now and then). You’ve never cared about dating or relationships but with your older siblings settling down, you started to feel the pressure from your parents. One day you made the mistake of sending a selfie of you and Bucky in the family group chat and everyone grilled you about him until you muted your phone after twenty consecutive texts from your mother. When Ben suddenly reached out to you, you figured this was a good time to test the dating scene and hopefully appease your family. 

However, the moment you opened your closet, you realized you had no idea what you were doing. Ben suggested a casual diner known for their burgers and milkshakes so you took out a cute blouse and jeans, but it didn’t seem right. Should you wear makeup? But you rarely wear makeup so would Ben think you’re trying too hard? Are tennis shoes low effort? Is jewelry and perfume too much? 

Eventually you settled on a simple summer dress with a cardigan and flats, a cute outfit that allowed enough freedom for combat if necessary. You opted out of jewelry (choking risk) and perfume (you realized you didn’t have any).  After checking your reflection for the hundredth time, you nodded with approval and grabbed your handbag to head out. 

“Hey Tony, I’m leaving,” you popped your head in Tony’s office. He looked up from whatever gadget he was tinkering with and smiled. 

“You look cute, got the tracer on?” 

You nodded and pointed at a little heart shaped pin on your cardigan, “I’m protected.” 

Tony grimaced jokingly, “Have a good time kid. If this Ben guy gives you a bad time, say the code word and we’ll be there to kick his ass” 

“Does the code word have to be drama llama though? It’s pretty stupid,” you groaned. 

“Yes, now get out of here before Barnes and Rogers barricade the door,” he chuckled, “they are not happy campers right now.”

“They’ll get over it, see ya later,” you waved goodbye and headed to the living room where Steve and Bucky were sulking and watching TV like toddlers that were told they can’t have an extra cookie for dessert. 

“Alright kids, I'm heading out. I’ll be back by 10,” you tried to keep it lighthearted but Bucky looked like he was about to rip someone apart and Steve had his sad eyebrows on. 

“You look cute, Doll,” Bucky mumbled, “text us when you get there.” 

“Got it,” you turned and headed out to the front door, a little peeved off by their reactions. You understand that they’re overprotective of you, but you can’t miss out on life just because of them. You straightened your back and started the short walk to the diner, you were going to have fun and it will prove to them that not everyone has bad intentions. 

…

You arrived at the diner a bit early, the server led you to a little booth in the corner and handed you a rather expansive menu. She asked if you wanted to order any drinks or appetizers but you told her you’re waiting on someone and they will arrive soon. She gave you a cup of water anyways and you quickly texted the Avengers group chat that you were at the diner. Your phone quickly blew up with heart emojis and words of encouragement from everyone except for Bucky and Steve. 

6:28pm.

You and Ben agreed to 6:30 and the nerves were definitely lighting up. You kept on making glances at the door so you could wave him down when he came in. Would you recognize him? It’s been over three years, he was tall and scrawny with overgrown hair that your trainer forced him to cut. At first he was awkward and quiet, but by the end of their program, he was pretty popular and charismatic. He was funny enough to be well-liked by the top trainees and after the haircut and bulking up a bit, you’ve caught him making out with a woman or two. He wasn’t mean to you, but wasn’t exactly nice either, which you didn’t mind. You wondered where he ended up after graduating from SHIELD’s training program. He wasn’t athletic nor good with firearms, but he was smart and proficient with computers and programming. You’ve never seen him in your department so he didn’t go into IT. 

You realized you were lost in thought and checked the time. 

6:43pm.

You scanned the diner quickly to see if he had grabbed a table without seeing you, but the only other customers were you and a couple across the room. 

Not wanting to sound desperate but also somewhat worried, you texted, Hey, just checking in. 

The server came up to your table, you felt your face heat up when she looked at you with pity. 

“Can I start you off with any fries or a milkshake, sweetheart?” 

“Is it okay if I have a few more minutes? He’s running a bit behind.”

“Of course,” the server nodded and walked away. 

As if the universe was laughing at you, the diner started to fill up quickly and you knew you were inconveniencing the server by taking up an entire table without ordering anything. You check your phone again. 

7:16pm. No new messages from Ben, but your text was marked as seen. 

You sent a thumbs up and a burger emoji to the Avengers group chat to get them off your back. You wondered if the server was talking shit about the girl who’s been hogging a table for an entire hour without ordering anything with her coworkers. The burning sensation in your face started getting even warmer. 

7:45pm. You saw a text from Ben pop up on your phone, you immediately opened the message, relieved that he’s alive and not taken hostage by Hydra or aliens. It was probably going to be a long winded apology about how his car broke down and his phone died, or his cat got sick and he had to take it to the vet, or he got pulled into a last minute mission, and you two would laugh it off and reschedule for another date. 

Except all you saw on your phone’s screen was a singular laughing emoji. You felt your stomach tighten. This was probably a mistake right? A simple typo that he would immediately apologize for sending? Or maybe he was actually in danger and this was a code word for help?

A million possible responses to the emoji flooded your brain but all you could do was reply, What?

The text bounced back with a red flag, Unable to send to the recipient. 

Great. Stood up and ghosted on your very first date. Steve and Bucky were right for being overprotective, they probably saw this coming from a mile away. They knew that no guy would go for a 24 year old woman with no experience and a lifetime of unresolved emotional baggage. In fact, you weren’t sure if you were ever interested in a sexual or romantic relationship with…anyone. You just agreed to this date to appease your family and out of desperation to feel “normal.” Who were you kidding thinking that a popular and social guy like Ben would be interested in a woman whose ideal night was sitting in comfy pajamas and watching terrible horror movies with your friends. Steve and Bucky knew and they were too kind to tell you the truth. 

But now you were sitting in a packed diner. Frozen. 

The server came over with a sympathetic look on her face, “Hey darling, are you sure you don’t want anything to eat?”

You snapped back in your SHIELD agent persona and smiled at the server, “Yeah, my friend couldn’t make it. May I order eight cheeseburgers with fries and a strawberry milkshake to-go please?” 

“Of course sweetie,” she wrote down your order on her pad and walked away without any questions, as if she knew exactly what happened. Shame and embarrassment flooded your body, you haven’t felt this way in a long time and all you wanted to do was go home and sleep. 

A few minutes later the server brought out a bag with the food and a large strawberry milkshake which she insisted was “on the house.” You wanted to cry from her kindness and tipped her generously. Then you left the diner wondering how the hell were you going to explain this to your friends. They would know something went wrong if you came back over an hour before curfew. You also knew they were going to immediately interrogate you about Ben and you weren’t a good enough liar to craft an elaborate story about a mediocre date where although he was nice, you two decided to be friends. You decided the best method was to drop off the food, tell everyone the date was fun but you’re not feeling well because of period cramps, and head off to bed before anyone could ask you a question. It was the perfect story, your friends knew your period cramps were horrendous so you walking into the room with a miserable look on your face wouldn’t raise any concerns. Then you had the night to figure out what to say to them the next morning. 

“I brought gifts,” you strolled into the living room where all the Avengers were well…assembled and dropped off the bag of burgers and fries on the counter, you took a sip from your strawberry milkshake which was heavenly to say the least. 

“You’re home early, is everything okay?” Nat said with concern, you could tell she was preparing herself to make a man “mysteriously” disappear. 

“Oh yeah, I had a nice time. But the period cramps hit so I decided to call it a night.”

“Do you need any ibuprofen, Doll? Or tea?” Bucky got up to raid the medicine drawer. 

“I’m fine, it’s just started so it’s not too bad. I’m going to take a bath and go to bed.” 

“We’re going to need all the details in the morning,” Sam grabbed a burger from the bag and took a huge bite, “damn that hit the spot.” 

“Thank you for grabbing us dinner,” Steve smiled and rubbed your back gently, that little touch of empathy made you want to cry all over again, “go get some rest.”

You smiled and headed to your room, feeling a sense of relief when you were alone. You loved your friends to death but they liked to ask questions and were much more observant than a regular person. You were used to bottling in your emotions and taking it out on work or training, but this felt different. You felt vulnerable and young, this shame didn’t come from SHIELD training, it was a feeling that many people in their twenties have gone through and you had no idea how to deal with it. For the first time, you felt lost, hopeless, and out of control. 

You flopped down on your bed and stared up at the ceiling. You’ve seen friends go out on dates and listened to them talk about the butterflies in their stomach while daydreaming about finding “the one” and getting married. Sometimes if the date went really well, they would share the more intimate details of effortless flirtations and sharing the night together in each other’s arms. 

Of course with dating, there were rough times where you listened to your friend cry over the phone after getting cheated on, or the one time you beat up a guy for giving your friend a black eye during an argument. You’ve watched the beautiful moments (and unfortunately the dark moments) of relationships but you’ve never felt like you wanted to experience that yourself. 

Did you want to kiss and share a bed with Ben? Your face crinkled at that thought. From training with him and seeing his social media, he’s the perfect package with a handsome face, fit body, incredibly smart, and has enough charisma to rival Bucky and Steve’s. But you knew you didn’t want to sleep with him, much less get married and settle down with him. 

You thought about Bucky and Steve. Women and men flirted with them endlessly when the three of you went out, you knew that they were attractive, but you could never see yourself having a sexual or romantic relationship with either of them. The thought alone made your stomach turn. 

Have you ever been sexually or romantically attracted to anyone? You frowned, trying to think of all the people you’ve met throughout the years. You’ve been so focused on your career that you didn’t think about these things, but your siblings are in long-term relationships so maybe…

Maybe I’m broken? You thought sadly. 

You heard a knock on the door and you sat up, pushing your emotions back down again. 

“It’s Dingus 1 and Dingus 2, may we come in?”

“Yeah sure,” you laid back down on your bed and rolled over like your stomach was in pain. Gotta play the act right.

“We know you're not on your period, “ Bucky said. 

“Um excuse me, are you mansplaining my period?”

Steve raised his hands in defense, “You said you had your period two weeks ago so we figured either something else is wrong or you need to see a doctor.” 

Busted. You forgot you were curled up on the couch in the living room two weeks ago cussing at your reproductive system and clutching onto the heat pack that Nat had kindly bought for you. 

“You got me,” you sighed and rolled over onto your back to look at the ceiling again. “Did something happen on the date?” Steve sat next to you and gently stroked your hair. 

“Well there was no date. He made me wait for an hour and ghosted me.”

Bucky was ready to hunt down this guy, “That fucking asshole.” 

“I’m surprised you know what ‘ghosted’ means, you old men.” 

Steve and Bucky gasped, "We're young and sprightly!” 

“Definitely something old men would say while drinking black coffee and reading the newspaper,” you shot back with a small smile.  

“You know Buck, remember that discussion from this morning?” Steve grinned like a Cheshire Cat.

“Of course, we may need to resume this discussion.” Bucky rubbed his hands together with equally an unsettling smile on his face. 

“Well good luck because I’m in no mood for jokes,” You mumbled.

“They’re not jokes,“ Bucky sat on your bed next to you and Steve, “just a little trick for older siblings to make the kids behave.”

“You’re not ticklish, are you?” Bucky swiped a finger down your arm, you used your SHIELD training to mask your emotions but in reality, you were internally freaking out because you were ridiculously ticklish and even worse, you didn’t mind it.

“Of course not, that’s for kids,” you mumbled, trying to mentally erase away the goosebumps on your arm. 

“You calling us kids now?” Steve teasingly grabbed your sides and the unexpected movement made you squeal. Shit.

“Never heard you make that sound before, I like it,” Bucky wiggled his fingers on your neck, you bursted out into bubbly giggles and shook your head. 

“You know what happens to liars,” Steve pinned your arms up with one hand and scribbled his blunt nails along your belly with the other, “they have to be taught a lesson.” 

“W-wait!” You exploded with high-pitched laughter as Steve’s unrelenting attack on your belly and Bucky moving down from your neck to gently squeezing right above your knees sent you into a ticklish hell (or heaven?). 

Laughter. Something you haven’t done in years. You were surprised by how higher pitched it was compared to your usual speaking tone. It was airy, relaxed, and childlike. Hearing your laugh for the first time sent shivers down Steve and Bucky’s spines. After a few moments of tormenting you with tickles, they held you in silence for a bit while you were getting your last giggles out.

“So what really happened?” Steve was the first to break the silence, always never afraid to ask questions. 

You explained to them about everything that happened at the diner. They listened intently and gave you reassuring hugs whenever you struggled to find the right words to explain the situation. 

“That asshole doesn’t know what he’s missed out on,” Bucky rubbed your back, you could tell he was struggling with hiding how pissed he was about Ben. 

“Yeah sweetie, you’ll find someone who will love and respect you,” Steve wrapped his arms around you and gave you a squeeze. 

“Well that’s the thing…I don’t think I want to be in a relationship. It’s never appealed to me and I’ve never looked at someone and thought they were attractive or I want to date them. That’s weird, isn’t it? I just agreed to this date because I thought it was something I was supposed to do. People are meant to be in loving, meaningful relationships so there’s something deeply wrong with me,” the words poured out of your mouth before you could stop them. It was the first time you were truly vulnerable and you started to feel embarrassed again. 

“It’s true, people should have loving, meaningful relationships,” Steve agreed, “but those relationships don't have to be romantic or sexual. They can be between friends, families, or coworkers.” 

“I think you have plenty of loving and meaningful relationships,” Bucky smiled, “we love you to death, and so does everyone else here. We all care about you and want what’s best for you.” 

“And it’s not weird that you don’t feel certain types of attraction towards other people. That’s who you are and it’s totally valid,” Steve teasingly wiggles his fingers against your side, “and as your honorary older brothers, that makes our jobs easier.” 

“Hey!” You laughed, leaning into Bucky to get away from Steve’s fingers, only for Bucky to latch onto your ribs. A sudden electric shock went down your spine and you had to hold yourself back from screaming with laughter. Bucky looked at you with surprise and chuckled. 

“Well that’s a good spot to keep in mind.” 

“F-fuck you!” You laughed, doubling over and trying to get away from Steve and Bucky but they held you firmly in place on your bed. 

“You talk like a sailor but laugh like an angel, that’s adorable,” Steve laughed and dug into your sides just a bit more, making you squeal and tried desperately to push him away. 

“Alright alright,” he and Bucky decided to be nice (tonight) and gave you mercy. A wave of warm sleepiness hit you and they helped you lay back into bed. 

“Any requests for breakfast tomorrow?” Bucky smoothed out your covers that got a bit wrinkled and tangled up from their attack. 

“Pancakes?” You asked hopefully. 

“And bacon and eggs,” Bucky promised as he and Steve both gave you a kiss on the forehead. 

They quietly left your room and turned off your lights. Once Steve closed the door, Tony came walking down the hallway. 

“Oh there you two are, is she alright in there?” Tony glanced at your room with concern, “She seemed kind of upset when she came home.” 

“She’s okay now,” Steve smiled, “sleeping like a baby.”

Tony chuckled, “Well I’m glad. Her supervisor contacted me earlier and said they found the creeps who organized SHIELD’s security breach. She’s safe to go back home but if we believe that she’ll be an asset to our team, then she can stay. It just has to be a unanimous vote.”

“Hell yeah she should stay,” Bucky immediately jumped in, “we need someone with her brains and experience on our team.” “I agree,” Steve nodded, “and I have a feeling that we’ve all been in much better moods since she got here. She balances us out.” 

“Awesome, I will get the report to her supervisor and make her a permanent resident,” Tony nodded with a knowing smile, “and now we all get the time to make her laugh.” 

“You heard her?” Steve chuckled. 

“Her room’s vent is directly connected to my lab. Lovely sound, I would love to recreate it myself.” 

You slept soundly through the night despite the negative events that had happened earlier, your heart was filled with love, trust, and acceptance from your found family. You realized with the Avengers you never had to pretend to be anyone but yourself, and that was the best relationship you could ever hope for. 

[astrodice]

What career suites you best based on destiny matrix? (part 1/3)

To find out what career suits you best and what can you do to succeed, we have to look at the number under the dollar sign.

1 - Magician

People with magician energy are very talented, ambitious and hardworking. They are early satisfied with mediocre results and salary. They always try for more and they have all the right tools to achieve all of their goals. Negative aspect of this energy is that people might lie and use other people to get benefits or they can spend their life wasting their talents by doing nothing.

The most suitable career:

tbh, they can do anything

Challenges that affect career:

laziness, hoping that everything will be figured out by itself

detachment from colleagues, lying

using people, being selfish

2 - High Priestess

People with high priestess energy are highly intuitive and may I say slow (they need more time to come up with a plan). A career that requires making fast decisions is not suitable for those people. On the contrary, they need a job that will allow them to move at a stable measured pace and use their intuition.

The most suitable career:

healer

psychologist, therapist

artist

Challenges that affect career:

avoiding conflicts

being afraid to show off your skills

not being able to make quick decisions

3 - Empress

People with empress energy are definition of "beauty and brains". Such individuals easily identify points of contact with the interests of other people, solve all problems quickly and confidently. Also, since they feel confident around women, it's easy for them to make career in a field focused on women or women's needs.

The most suitable career:

CEO

medical worker

florist

beauty industry worker

Challenges that affect career:

pride, sense of superiority

power abuse

being overly materialistic

irrational spendings/hoarding

4 - Emperor

People with emperor energy are executive, demanding (of themselves and of others) and they quickly gain credibility and respect. Such individuals have every chance to take a high position or open their own business.

The most suitable career:

analyst

accountant

auditor

lawyer

policeman, soldier

CEO

Challenges that affect career:

being controlling, demanding

inability to find compromises

power abuse

5 - Hierophant

People with hierophant energy have high intelligence and excellent memory. They are also charismatic which makes them to be a good speakers, they just know how to make public listen.

The most suitable career:

teacher, professor, coach

analyst

historian, librarian

lawyer

marriage counsellor

medical worker

Challenges that affect career:

being demanding

unwillingness to delegate responsibilities

unwillingness to learn something new

6 - Lovers

People with lovers energy have an eye for seeing pros and cons and can skillfully transform one into the other. The have aesthetically pleasing taste, empathy and good artistic skills.

The most suitable career:

designer

interpreter

artist

psychologist, therapist

marriage counsellor

beauty industry worker

Challenges that affect career:

working in a field that you hate

being overly emotional during decision-making

people-pleasing

imposing your opinion

7 - Chariot

People chariot will succeed in any field where they will be active and hardworking. They are disciplined, good at controlling their emotions, they also have an ability to react quickly and clearly to any change in the situation.

The most suitable career:

traveller, travel-blogger

flight attendant

driver

travel agent

Challenges that affect career:

Inability to rest (workaholism)

lack of goals, incorrect goal setting (goals are too easy or impossible to achieve)

rushed decisions

[arepo25]

THE THIRD DECAN

The passage of a planet, angle, asteroid, house or other in the third decan of a sign will bring the individual to encounter all the greatest difficulties and facilities of the sign's archetype. A bit like Gilgamesh, Enkidu, and the Netherworld, it's a journey of initiation for the hero as he enters his final phase of fulfillment. The ins and outs of planet, angle, asteroid in correlation with the sign will be very important in the life of the native/subject.

Some interpretations possible for each planets and the ascendant in the third decan :

Sun in the third decan :

- being seen/recognized a lot by your peers, fans, audience

- accomplishing something impactful personally in the life multiple times

- learning more quickly than others

- can being a visionary by how you accumulated experiences

- being yourself freely

Moon in the third decan :

- might having a family who supports/educate you very well

- emotions are a big lessons theme of the native/subject

- your relation with the crowd makes you special

- can achieving inner journeys in the occult knowledge

Mercury in the third decan :

- reaching high level of intelligence

- using your hands very well because of talent or hard work

- might developing new technologies

- being very inquisitive and curious even when you regret it

- can learning a lot of books in their life

Venus in the third decan :

- can having a lot of resources, money at a young age

- might being in relationships often

- developing high ethics and values

- can being surrounded by beautiful/cute people as you

- having a connection with nature that you cherish

Mars in the third decan :

- being the warrior in every room you enter

- having to deal with a lot of accidents and fails

- but also being an achiever by how you invest in your projects

- shaping your mind and body can leading you so far

Jupiter in the third decan :

- being socially enthusiastic that leads you to have wisdoms

- expansion of the qualities of the sign

- benefits of the signs maximized

- exploring the possibilities of the world and universe

- teaching your philosophical insights

Saturn in the third decan :

- having to deal with a lot of karmic lessons

- but can reaching all the summits by discipline and hard work

- might being an important figure of the society

- isolation can affecting your mental health more than others

Uranus in the third decan :

- brain electricity being vivid

- shocking revelations coming out of nowhere constantly

- knowing things that the majority don’t know

- being rebellious since an young age and for all the life

- growing in an innovative environment

Neptune in the third decan :

- being the center of attention in a spiritual sphere

- being creative artistically at a point that others are fascinated by you

- handling heavy karmic endings

- mastering the gifts that universe gives you

- finalizing something faster than others

Pluto in the third decan :

- living moments of intense fear that you fight then

- can being more wealthy than others

- might live a period of death and rebirth cyclically

- using the influence to breaking the limits of what was possible

Ascendant in the third decan :

- this incarnation is a main character for your soul

- your body can be important to your well being

- self care and love is crucial to advancing in this cruel world

- can being an stereotype of the sign’s archetype

[literaryvein-reblogs]

When your Characters Need to Build Trust in their Relationship

High trust levels are key to a healthy, lasting relationship—here are a few tips on how to build trust from psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel.

Trust - the act of feeling comfortable, safe, and cared for in a relationship.

It is a vital bedrock of a successful relationship because it allows each person to be vulnerable with the other and continue to feel supported and sustained.

It encourages teamwork, collaboration, and healthy interdependence and is a sign of emotional intelligence (or, as Esther calls it, “relational intelligence”), effective communication, mutual respect, emotional intimacy, and overall well-being.

In a romantic relationship without a foundation of trust, partners may feel uncomfortable, insecure, or anxious. Sustained trust issues or a complete lack of trust in a long-term relationship can lead to overwhelming emotional strain, burnout, breakup, and even physical and mental health problems.

How to Build Trust With a Romantic Partner

Trust is one of the building block of a healthy relationship. Here are a few different ways to build trust according to Esther:

Determine your relationship to trust and risk. In Esther’s experience, building trust starts with understanding your own needs. “Do you see yourself as someone who needs to trust first? Or do you see yourself more as someone who is more quick at taking risks?” Taking stock of your own needs allows you to “ground yourself in the reality of the here and now” before building trust with a partner. “Some people say that you need to trust someone, a relationship, before you are feeling okay to take risks with that person. But some people will say—and this is how the research divides around trust as well—that it is actually by taking risks that the trust develops.”

Embrace taking micro-risks with your partner. Esther recommends taking very small risks as a way to practice trust-building in a relationship, creating a little trust at a time as you work toward deep emotional intimacy. “A micro risk … is not a specific thing,” she explains. “It’s the thing that I don’t usually do.” Examples of micro risks may be sharing information about your personal life, making an observation of the other person, challenging yourself to say “no” to something, or challenging yourself to ask for something—as long as it’s something you don’t normally do. Once you take the risk, you can see how the other person responds to it and continue building levels of trust (or identify that something isn’t working). “It's an experience that is built through mutuality and reciprocity,” Esther explains.

Learn to navigate breaches in trust. “When [trust] breaks, it feels shattered and unable to ever be put back together,” Esther says. That response is completely normal—breaches in trust hurt, especially in lasting relationships. “But, in fact, [trust] is quite malleable,” she says. “Life and new experiences, like grafting new cells on top, slowly allow us to experience the trust again.” Avoid jumping to conclusions or making hasty judgments—instead, give the other person the benefit of the doubt, allow yourself time to recover from breaches in trust, and then check in with yourself using your new life experiences to decide how to move forward and whether you can repair things. Even when trust decreases, it is possible to slowly rebuild trust through careful, hard work.

“Trust is one of these concepts that suffers from a definitional vagueness. We all know when we feel it, and we all know when we don’t. But what is it? Is it a feeling? Is it a condition? Is it an outcome? Is it a state? What is trust? And the research is all over the place. At the end of many, many, many papers, what you hear is the sentence, ‘The research could use more research on how to define trust.’” —Esther Perel

Source ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[ecoterrorist-katara]

The only stereotypically masculine thing about Aang…is his romantic arc

There’s a really popular post on Tumblr called “Avatar Aang, Feminist Icon.” The thesis is basically that Aang, unlike his female teachers and friends, is actually not a badass. He listens, he defers, and he respects women. He seemed to have no problem with Katara’s crush on Jet, despite his own crush on her. He chooses love and kindness and friendship and pacifism. He’s not tall and handsome as hell or buff. He wears flower crowns!

And I agree! This is Aang for most of the series and I love those qualities (though I do think the bar is in hell if those traits make a character a feminist icon, as opposed to a person who simply sees women as human beings). Anyway, I just think there’s a glaring omission. And that’s Aang’s romantic arc in season 3.

Bryke managed to take the worst of both worlds: Aang’s romantic arc retains the male-centricity that make most romances so problematic, while retaining none of the characteristics that make problematic romances compelling to women.

Aang falls in love at first sight with a beautiful girl. For the majority of their friendship, he remains respectful and supportive. As his crush hits an all time high, however, it gets distinctly more stereotypical: he kisses Katara at the invasion, and when she didn’t want to talk about that kiss, he firebends at her (the fact that this comic is canon, and was published years after ATLA’s conclusion, only demonstrates that the creators still don’t understand critiques of their romance). Aang considers Katara “his girl” and becomes furious (“I would be in the Avatar state right now!”) when the actress version of Katara didn’t like him romantically, and then he kisses her again — this time explicitly against her wishes. Throughout the show, people reassure him that she will come around, continuously reinforcing the idea that Katara is “his” and he just has to be patient. And even though Ka/taang is supposed to be endgame, we never hear directly from Katara how she feels, even though we’re no strangers to her opinions and feelings on other topics. It’s almost like the creators wanted Katara’s feelings to be a mystery because we’re meant to resonate with Aang. That’s…a male-centric, action hero romance.

In addition, the friendship dynamics between Katara and Aang feel pretty gendered. The distribution of emotional labour between Aang and Katara is quite skewed: Katara takes care of Aang much more than he takes care of her. She’s the one responsible for calming him down from the Avatar State. She’s the one who cooks for him and performs a whole lot of domestic chores. Post-canon, Katara’s storyline revolves around Aang, and she’s treated as his accessory and the keeper of his legacy instead of her own person, to the degree that she’s not even recognizable in LOK anymore. A beautiful, badass, independent woman who dedicates her energy and intelligence to a man’s needs? Wow, that is definitely something I’ve never seen in media geared towards men!

A lot of gushing about Aang’s lack of stereotypical masculinity seems to also hinge on how Aang is not conventionally attractive, but that’s…not true. Aang may not behave like James Bond, but he has plenty of admirers. Meng and On Ji liked him even without knowing that he’s the Avatar. Post-series, Acolytes descend en masse to steal Katara’s man. And of course he grows into a tall, buff dude. Aang’s romantic arc is not about becoming attractive to women, or finding a woman who loves him despite his looks. His romantic arc is about getting the girl who’s hard to get, because she only sees him as a friend or a little brother / babysitting charge.

Bryke do not deserve the credit for creating a “feminist icon,” not when the only stereotypically masculine traits they gave him are in relation to his romance arc. It honestly feels more insidious this way, because it’s like, “see? You don’t have to be masculine to reap the benefits of performing masculinity” — the benefits being, of course, “getting” the girl you want.

[scholarinbookland]

I’m sure I’m reiterating a point that longer fans of Jimin have already touched upon, but one of my favorite things about Jimin’s personality is his ability to match the energy of those he interacts with. Astonishingly, he’s able to do it verbally, using body language, and in writing, where most people struggle with at least one of the three. (As someone where all three are not an innate skill, it’s incredibly impressive.)

I’ve seen older footage of Jimin and it wasn’t always as refined as it is now, especially when he was seemingly trying to juggle his assigned debut role as “charmingly flirtatious dancer guy with muscles” and his naturally sweet nature that never failed to peek through the veneer in Bangtan Bombs/Episodes.

I’ve seen School Trilogy/Dark & Wild era interviews where he’s aiming for teasing and he accidentally hits an insecurity, or he’s trying cheeky and it reads as borderline rude. But once that persona got modified as he grew and the concept changed (slowly starting in HYYH, IMO), he’s seemed consistently good at reading the room and matching the tone of the interview or situation to best promote social harmony in the interaction. It’s not always to the benefit of whoever is trying to keep the interaction “on the rails”, though, because if the predominant mood of the room is mischief or trolling, he rises to the occasion admirably. He can revel in a high-chaos environment and will occasionally stir the pot to add entertainment value, but even that I’d consider reading the room.

So when I see all these translated WeVerse replies and how clearly he’s matching tones (joking at funny comments, sincere when needed, eloquent at the long heartfelt messages), it makes me glad he’s showing by example how to curate a positive fan environment. Admittedly, he’s benefiting from the scarcity of his social media presence to encourage genuinely happy comments instead of mainly weird ones, but all the ones I saw him reply to seemed appropriate and innocent. Of course antis will make something out of nothing whenever he so much as breathes, but his social acumen makes rational people read the messages and wonder why on Earth they’re hating on someone like Jimin for nothing at all.

Artists who treat their fans as people and focus on the part of their art that’s in their control (their output and effort as opposed to fan response) seem to have more career longevity than those who spend years trafficking in nostalgia and gimmicks (looking at you, Brian May, what are you doing to Queen’s legacy).

Emotional intelligence is one of those skills that we always seem to assume is innate instead of learned, but in reality it’s just taught less and is sometimes outright discouraged in boys. So when I encounter emotionally intelligent men, I marvel at them and the example they’re setting for their peers by being unapologetically in-tune with the inner lives and feelings of themselves and those around them and feel a strong sense of gratitude that they exist.

(It also seems on-brand that he ranged from “provide proof” to “what on Earth are you talking about” in regards to the joke ultimatums. He’s demanding those fans put their money where their mouth is regarding exam scores and public embarrassment in return for his acknowledgment, as he should!)

[istharoth]

Little Light wc: 1.3 | fem-reader | not proof-read | angst There are a few weeks left before the Inspector becomes the anomaly. Should Sho confess now or should he let these emotions rest? AN: I'M ALIVE.

Missions with Vagastrom are never easy; at least that’s what Y/N thinks. Alan Mido, the Captain, is doable–she thinks he’s like a doberman, but if she were to mention it to anyone, specifically Leo Kurosagi, the Vice Captain, he’ll never let her live in down. She can see the near future: him twisting her statement so that it could benefit him. She doesn’t hate Leo–hate a strong word–she dislikes him. 

Perhaps she only feels some affection for him because of who he hangs around–Shohei Haizono. A normal guy. 

Is there another way to describe the chef-ghoul-athletic smartass (affectionate)? She doubts there is. Speaking of the mission, it was as per usual–find the anomaly that put an object or person under a curse, hope to find clues about her own curse and bring back said anomaly to Darkwick Academy. 

“Y/N,” Mido calls from all the way from the vending machine, pointing at it, as if asking if she needed anything. 

‘More time to not become an anomaly please,’ But she can’t say that to Mido. She has maybe three weeks before she's captured by Darkwick and put into a prison for becoming the Kyklos. Y/N had considered asking Rui Mizuki -bearer of the killing curse- to kill her, but alas, she loves him too much to turn him into a murderer. 

"I'm okay, thanks." She answers, walking towards the tall, well-built captain. The autumn breeze sways, bringing along dried leaves in their wake. She crouches next to Mido, looking at the endless options offered by the vending machines. 

Maybe she should get something? "What are you getting?" He mirrors her position, eyes strangely hardening at the choice of choosing something. Knowing Mido, he'd get something for the first year ghouls too. Leo likes anything spicy as for Sho... she doesn't know. 

Despite knowing each other for a while, they aren't close. Y/N wouldn't consider her to be as close to Sho as she was with Rui or the Chaos Combo. Sho is just a junior she's come to adore—be it his passion for cooking or his appearance. 

She glances at the first year combo waiting for them just outside the convenience store; she raises her hand, grinning as she waves at the duo. Sho's eyes linger on her, as she turns away to face Mido again; they're talking about something but he isn't curious in the slightest. 

She’s been bright, akin to the summer sun that pierces anything, that illuminates the world, even those hidden in corners of the world. 

Leo from beside him, glances at his long-time friend and then at the senior who was turning into a plant anomaly. Shohei Haizono is, well, a playboy. He's been throughout junior high and high school, but seemingly that came at a pause ever since he met her. 

The way he looks at her: enraptured, whole. His gaze lingered on her; even as she plucks the loose feather off her hair and flicks it back to the ground, his gaze remains. Almost as his terrified of losing her even for a moment. As if he's falling into a hole he shouldn't fall into.

"It's not worth it." Leo mutters, turning around, pocketing his hands into his pant pockets. Honestly, he doesn't know what Sho sees in that NPC. She's average in every way: appearance, intelligence, strength. 

Yet, she keeps the ghouls wrapped around her finger, specifically Sho Haizono. 

Leo glances at her one last time. When she becomes the anomaly, someone will have to kill her and it won't be him or Sho. 

Night had fallen, and the quartet hiked into the forests to find an anomaly. They'd already discussed positions—Leo and Mido would do the actual capturing and if the anomaly had escaped, Sho and she would attempt to capture it. 

Simple enough, says Leo, before he casually strides into the deep forest with Mido.

"You'd think they'd know not to make me team up with you," Y/N idly states, tapping her foot. 

Sho looks at her, and then back at the forest—he can't look at her. If he does, he can't tear his gaze away and this mission would only take longer if Leo and Mido fail in capturing the anomaly. 

"What do you mean?" 

She spares him a glance and returns to keeping watch for the anomaly. "It doesn't work very well on you, does it?" She pauses for a moment, looking back at him. "My power, I mean." 

... Ah. He was certain she'd realized it was a ploy by Leo and himself to get her killed but, no. There's no reason she doesn't know about it. 

"Want an apology?" He scoffs, and she only chuckles, shaking her head. 

"No need. He said you had nothing to do with it and," she sighs, crossing her arms. "It was an order, wasn't it?" Right—'course she'd notice. Of course, she'd know Hyde had spies around campus, one of them being his younger brother. 

She doesn't have long to live as a human. Sho knows this and yet... and yet--"I'm sorry." He can let the anomaly escape; they can always find it afterwards, but he can't lose this. He doesn't want to lose her. 

"What for?" She blinks owlishly, hand twitching slightly, always a sign she was nervous. Before she harnessed the power of the ring, before she took her academic and physical exams, her right hand had always twitched. 

Sho knows he's making the wrong choice, but truly, he wants to relay this to her. Perhaps so she can feel burdened by these words, so that she'd remember him as she loses her mind in that prison. 

"For liking you." Like feels too weak of a word, but he can't say love. He won't say he took one look at and knew what love felt like because that wasn't it. Sho didn't decide one day he was in love with a human turning into an anomaly—he only recalls them together in the dead of the night at Mystery Diner, trying to recreate dishes the anomalies had. 

And perhaps it was then. It had to then—when she. When she did every single little thing, and in his mind, he knew he was screwed. It was love, yes, but he can't bring himself to say it.

And to the Honor Student, to the Inspector, love was unfathomable. She wouldn't digest it, would never accept it. He's unfortunately seen one too many people profess their love to her only for her to deny them. 

"Sorry." She quickly apologises. 

"Don't." Sho chuckles dryly, strangely feeling more at ease than he did before. "You won't accept it because of your fate, yeah?" He asks, to no avail. He'll take the silence as confirmation. 

"It's because I don't want them to mourn me, even though I'll be alive." 'In anomaly form' She leaves out but certain he'd figure it out. He'd always been good at reading between the lines, even when he didn't need to. 

He'd mourn her, despite staying alive—he'd grieve her fate. 

Y/N thinks the silence is unbearable. It had always been comfortable around the first year ghoul, but after his confession, the silence was heavy.

"You don't think it's presumptuous?" It's not meant to be a serious question, it's something to fill the void, but his stare on her lingers. It lacks any pity -one she's so used to seeing- or fear. 

"I'd mourn you." Her eyes widen in shock—how long had he looked at her like that? Why did he look... bewitched, betrothed? 

"Not what I asked." 

For the rest of his life, he'd mourn her. 

She doesn't know what else to say. What else to do except apologise over and over?

So she does, "I'm sorry." Yeah, that's all she does—apologise. Yet, somehow, strangely, even that part of her was enchanting. Falling feels awful, but what can he do? He's human, after all. 

"Thanks for listening." He mumbles, turning around to face the endless forest. She only nods, rubbing her neck hesitantly. What an ending to their friendship.