#Billy Constantine

[ledesaid]

William (Billy) Joseph Batson Constantine?

12 years ago, John Constantine offered his genetics with the intention of serving others while putting his own interests first (he was a donor at a fertility clinic) and forgot about it.

Indeed, he also forgot when he pawned his firstborn in some pagan ritual to save his own neck...

Once and...

Again...

Oh, heavens! A fifth time?

Can someone stop this man?

Call it luck or chance, but his sample was used only once. An American couple turned to a fertility clinic and, by chance, their firstborn was born.

Yes, that firstborn.

William Joseph Batson always wondered why all sorts of bad things happened to him. From the premature death of his pet fish, to the variety of monsters that started living under his bed, and culminating with his inability to look at himself in a mirror. That didn't deprive him of his parents' love, fortunately, at least until a demon took them when he was seven.

Everyone believes they died, Billy doesn't... He remembers they were dragged to what that monstrous creature called hell... Billy searched how to get there on Google Maps.

He is absorbed by the system for the next two years, he is nine when he starts looking for answers on his own.

He's not starting from scratch, he still remembers what the demon said that night...

"The time has come, spawn of John Constantine."

The Internet told him what "spawn" meant, but there seem to be no traces of this Constantine except for an anonymous complaint, on an occultism forum, about his poor services and his "charming" personality.

An informational seed.

He starts with local fortune-tellers' houses, all charlatans... Continues with people from questionable cults and escapes before becoming the main dish.

Other terms appear along the way: alcoholic and gambler.

He's eleven years old when his tour around the country takes him to a show by a certain Zatanna. He does the usual routine... Sneaks into her dressing room and waits...

He's already an expert at waiting.

Billy: John Constantine. He's harder to find than cockroaches. I've been looking for him for three years... They say he's my father... Do you know him?

Finally, for the first time in three years, he finds someone who knows him and has his number. It only took two more cities, of stalking the magician, for her to call that man...

That man... The one responsible for everything.

But when he sees him, his stomach churns as he notices their clear resemblance. Billy looked a lot like his mother, but the handful of the man's genes was evident.

He doesn't scream when a portal appears in the dressing room. He's seen worse and smellier ones.

John: Hello, love, is everything alright? You don't usually call first... I brought a good bottle of...

And the man also realized. Of course, he did, he knows... whispers his tortuous mind.

Billy: Finally, you are John Constantine...

John: And you must be the reason why my firstborn trick stopped working.

Billy gets angry and lunges at the Englishman. With one knee on the blond's stomach, he takes advantage and grabs him by the collar of his trench coat. He shakes him violently and shouts all he's been holding back for so long.

Billy: I've met at least five principalities, I've been chased by things I still can't comprehend, and they took my parents when I was seven... You're going to fix this now!

Billy starts to sob as he steps away from the man and leans against the dressing room door.

John: Would you believe me if I said I'm sorry?

He's not sincere, Billy knows it and also knows that his voice is nothing more than a sign of his defeated certainty.

Billy: No, you are everything they said you were...

......

Part 2

[windybluebelles]

Yknow when you meet someone who has the same accent/speech patterns as you in a place where you weren’t expecting them to, and you both start just repeating eachother and getting gradually more excited?

Yeah, I need that with Steph, Jason and Duke, kids who grew up in lower class Gotham where there is very distinctive accents between upper class people and people who grew up in the Narrows or Park row. Just, imagine:

Jason, walking into the Batcave: Ayup.

Dick: Hiya!

Tim: hi

Bruce: Hm

Damian: Hello.

Steph: Ayup!

Jason:

Steph: *not paying attention*

Jason: 😧

Jason: Ayup?

Steph: *snapping head up* Ayup?????

Jason: *excitement* Ayup Stephanie!

Steph: AYUP JASON!

Jason: AYYYYYYYYYUP

Duke: *entering the cave* Ayup gang

Steph: 😮🫣

Jason: 😧🥳

Steph: AYUP DUKE

Jason: AYUP LAD AYUP

Duke: *confusion, surprise, joy* …Ayup?

S + J: AYUP

Duke: AYUP

just repeating till their all stood in a circle muttering.

Everyone else is just staring in concern

[nakathemoth]

Constantine honest to god thought a child had just been struck by lightning and died by his side

[colossrat]

So, there’s this idea that Captain Marvel is the idealized form of Billy Batson, right? Like, the version of himself he aspires to be. The hero he wants to become. The face he wants the world to see-- strong, bright, safe, inspiring.

And, well… Captain Marvel looks a lot like C.C. Batson. His father. That’s Billy’s hero. That’s the face that makes him believe in good. The smile that gives him hope and faith in his dreams. With a few traces of his mom, like her eyelashes, her ears, nose

But… that can change. Right?

Billy’s going to meet new people. He’s going to have new heroes in his life. New people to look up to. New versions of “who I want to be like.”

So one day, Marvel looks like a perfect blend of C.C. and Marilyn. And then, after a particularly emotional moment with John Constantine, he shows up at the Watchtower… with a different jawline.

His bone structure is slightly off. You wouldn’t notice unless you were really paying attention. But Bruce was. Bruce always is. He doesn’t say anything, just quietly writes it down with some suspicion of a possible shapeshifter.

And then, boom-- WHERE THE HELL ARE MARVEL’S DIMPLES?! They’re gone. Just gone. When he smiles, it’s a completely different smile. No dimples. There’s… are those canines? Slightly unhuman teeth and-- wait, Is that SUPERMAN’S smile? A perfect, radiant replica??

The next day, the dimples are back. Because Marvel caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and he missed them. Not consciously. He didn’t even realize it. But they’re back anyway.

It all happens unconsciously. And it changes from time to time.

One day he’s got feline eyes and sharp little teeth, a goofy yet oddly charming (and a little predatory) grin. That’s Tawky Tawny’s influence.

Another day, his eyes aren’t blue anymore, they’re green. Sharp. Focused. But also warm. You feel seen, and still, oddly… safe. (Catwoman likes Cap. She’s been nice to him ever since he introduced her to Tawny.)

Then-- No freaking way he’s BLONDE. (Thanks, Constantine.)

One day, his eyes are still blue, but now they’re icy. Almost crystal. Batman nearly has a heart attack because it’s his father’s eyes. His father’s eyebrows too. (Billy was just really happy with Bruce Waynbe since he donated a massive bunch of money to Fawcett’s homeless shelters.)

And then.. pointy ears. A different nose. (Kon.)

J’onn shares his special cookies with him one afternoon and now Marvel’s got a little green tint in his cheeks instead of red.

He never hides it. If someone asks, he just shrugs and goes, “Oh yeah, my features kinda shift based on people I admire? I guess. I don’t really notice until you guys point it out. I can’t control it.”

A lot of people think his tall, muscular body comes from Superman. But nope. It’s from Diana.

Billy sees her: tall, powerful, graceful, hair always a little wild but somehow perfect. Elegant. Commanding. He thinks she’s incredible. So he becomes tall, powerful, elegant. Hair that never moves out of place (but still has a charmingly messy style). All that’s missing is a little more confidence and posture.

And Flash? Flash nearly dies of happiness when Marvel shows up one day— with his awkward little half-smile.

[fawcetttweets]

AITA?

Billy being the guardian of the Rock of Eternity which holds many of the most evil creatures in the world like the seven deadly sins is hilarious to me. Probably not canon but in this au every few years he meets up with the other beings who watch over a bunch of dangerous sinners. They use the meetings to share any strategies or mishaps so they can help each other be more efficient but since they’ve all been around for thousands of years minimum, they’ve pretty much optimized their systems so they spend most of the time gossiping and hanging out lol.

Masterlist // First // Previous // Next

[deadsetobsessions]

Hera stood, waiting for her turn at last. The Queen of the Greek Pantheon traced the lines of neon green, its light reflecting against her true form in a soothing way. She’s no stranger to patience, to waiting. But there were little of those that had the gall to make her wait, and even smaller of that number that she would tolerate such behavior. Regardless, this was the one being she could not afford to offend and so, she waits. Her many forms, her divine self, perceived the room and compared it to her own halls of residence.

Olympus was much more intricate, carved of noble marble and inlaid with countless of priceless metals and gems and divinity. Twelve seats of power atop an engineering wonder, halls adorned with the brightest of the original flames, an hearth that was roaring at Hesta’s skillful hands.

In comparison, this throne room had been changed much since she was last here. Gone were the spikes of terror and screams of the damned. Now… it looked like the most bare throne room she’d ever bore witness to.

And yet, as she waited for the Boy King, Hera could feel the subtle thrum of impossible power. The new king did not flare his will and might like the previous tyrant, and for that, Hera approved. She has had quite enough of living with and under tyrants who cared only for themselves… and their bed achievements whilst failing spectacularly in their marital roles. Zeus was not a good life partner and Hera regretted ever saying yes to him many times in her immortal life. And yet… she loved him still.

The doors opened, and a small figure floated in, flanked by the previous King’s Knight. Perhaps that is what makes this Boy King so dangerous, Hera thought as she dipped into a bow, because he can turn the loyalest to his side.

“Your Majesty,” she greeted, in ghost speak.

“Heya, Hera!” The Boy King greeted her back, before waving the Knight away. Hera marveled, a bit, at the sheer confidence he had to dismiss his knight in her presence. Even the last king kept the knights around to ensure his power was always in display, always unchallengeable. The Boy King could destroy her with a snap of a finger and he knows it. He knows that she knows it.

“What did you need?” The Boy King asked, grin still on place as he floated to her instead of seating himself on his throne. Hera masked the bit of confusion she felt in pursuit of her goal.

“I have come here to ask of you a favor,” she began. “I am aware that… you are fond of this, the earth in which I reside in?”

Hera carefully picked her word. Everybody knows that the new King Phantom had laid claim to not only the Infinite Realms as is normal of his station, but an entire Earth as his haunt. He had the power to do so, she could finally see, now that she was standing before him. It would not do for Hera to get her strings cut because she claimed what is his.

“Sure. Why?” The Boy King tilted his head, narrowing that predator green upon her true form.

“Do you know of the Justice League, my lord?”

“Phantom’s fine,” he waved a hand. “And yeah, sure do! Why?”

Hera tilted her many forms in acknowledgement of the command. She bowed.

“My daughter, of a sort, is Diana Prince. Wonder Woman. She is… in grave danger. We can not exert our influence over a land that does not have our history. I can not interfere and aid her.”

“Oh, you want me to help her?” His tone was exasperated, and Hera spoke even more carefully in fear of offending him.

“Yes, if it pleases you. And it would be most gracious of you should Your Majesty have time to watch over her. I fear the danger will not leave her so quickly.”

There was a brief period of silence before King Phantom sighed. “And if it does not please me to do so?”

Hera looked up and locked gazes with evaluating green. “Then I am afraid I will be breaking a fair bit of cosmic law, King Phantom.”

He laughed. “Okay, yeah, I’ll check up on Wonder Woman.”

Hera blinked her many eyes, peacock feathers spreading in shock at how easily he allowed her favors. She did not even have to beg.

King Phantom turned to leave before pausing. “Hera, if you need help, just ask. Preferably without beating around the bushes next time. Also, Pandora misses you. You might want to hang around for tea later.”

Hera regarded him with the might of her divinity, which was but hardly a spec of his own kindness. The last one had not had her respect. Fear, yes. But never respect But this one…

“Yes, my King.”

“It’s just Phantom.” He shot back as he left, the Knight returning to his side once more.

Hera transformed into a more mortal form. She had not seen Pandora in a long time, the young woman had made quite an impression on her. Perhaps her old friend could be convinced in helping her punch Zeus and ruin her beloved husband’s day. Hera hummed, the green that used to flicker acidly against her divine form now only soothed. A reflection of its owner.

King Phantom is worthy of her regard.

——

Holy shit, a goddess asked him to check on the Justice League! She was super weird about it and talked in a really old way of speaking, but Danny hadn’t had anything to do for the past few days while entering the zone for his annual check up.

Danny waved away Fright Knight and dived into the portal that would take him directly to the Justice League and Diana!

He floated down from the portal, blinking at group of disheveled and injured superheroes surrounded by a group of demons. Belial?

“King Phantom.” Belial rumbled. Danny waved, not noticing the standstill his presence forced.

“Shite.” The British man cursed, drawing on his magic once more.

“King Phantom?” Diana Prince, Wonder Woman, said quizzically.

“Who?” Batman, Batman! That’s actually Batman, rumbled.

“High King of the Infinite Realms. We’re buggered if he decides to help Belial.”

“Wait, like the god of gods, that King Phantom?” Captain Marvel asked. Ancients, why are all of them electrical based? Danny hates electricity.

Danny floated closer to them, grinning in a friendly way before frowning as they tensed up.

“King Phantom. May I ask why you have graced us with your presence, my King?”

“Hey, Wonder Woman! Your mom asked me to babysit you!” He grinned, sharp and mischievous.

“What…?” The Flash asked, zipping to their side. “Her mom? Queen Hippolyta?”

“No, Hera,” Danny said, and watched Wonder Woman straighten at his words.

“The Goddess Hera.”

“Yep!” Danny rocked back on his suddenly formed legs instead of the whisp of a tail he usually kept in the Zone. He was also still floating. Danny sent a wave of ice and froze the rest of the demons in one fell swoop.

“The rest of you can take care of clean up, yes? Diana has to get some snacks, dinner, and then go to bed.” He pushed gently at Diana’s shoulders, nudging her towards the plane. She went willingly, respectful but amused.

——

Bruce, intellectually knowing that’s a king but only seeing a superhero teenager: *fills out mental adoption paperwork*

——

Hera, a goddess, terrified of misspeaking and dying as a result: he’s so strong even though he’s young omg powerful and could end my immortal existence

Danny, an unserious king: golly gee why is she speaking like a Shakespeare novel

——

Hera, thinking Danny’s gonna be dignified: pls watch over my daughter

Danny, who has a clone he sees as a daughter and therefore has no issues babysitting a grown woman: lol snacks, dinner, bedtime

Diana:… usually I’m on the other spectrum of this but it’s from a higher up so… okay?

——

Danny, terrifying gods and ancients: they’re my friends! The power of friendship!

[satoshy12]

Why it's impossible to summon the Ghost King (or King of Olympus)

John has just told them that there is no way that summoning can work. At all! As he was asked why, because well, to summon him. you have to do 9.999.999.999 things, in a special order, if you fail 1 or forget 1 thing, you are back at the beginning.

And you only have 1 hour to finish all of ot.

The summoning is made in such a way that you fail. Since the last ones are pretty dark and cruel in a way, no one would do it.

Captain Marvel laughed, "Yeah, you can forget it. The later ones will make sure that you and everyone around you who knows the final rituals will die. That way you will be taken to the afterlife."

Billy remembers the conversation with Phantom when he complained about how Pariah Dark always complains that his summoning is so easy.

And well, since Zeus was Billy's patron, as Pariah's is Phantom, he knows how easy it is to summon Zeus. Well, for him.

He decided to help him with how to do it, just like he did with Zeus.

[on-the-clear-blue]

What if Danny didn't die? He does open the portal but for the first time in their lives the Fentons followed OSHA regulations.

He doesn't have the powers, but he was right there when the portal opened, he saw the tear in reality and it...it did things.

It wasn't something that a humans mind was supposed to see, while the Infinite Realms are the in-between dimensions, and what is in-between the in-between?

Elder gods, slumbering calamities, fallen angels hid from their gods ever present eye, righteous spirits who reached nirvana, monsters beyond imagination...

The crack before the Realms snapped to his dimension was only open for a mere moment, a single millisecond but to the young boy it was eternity, and he could only watches as all those beings turned their attentions to him, they saw him, observed him as much as he did them.

He had fallen, screaming as he clutched his eyes, his eyes and ears were bleeding, his brain pounded so hard it felt as if it was going to knock out his eyeballs, Sam and Tucker, spared from it all as they had turned their heads when the lightning flashed and rent the portal open could only rush to the boy, trying to help him but all he could do was scream. Because what was beyond had saw him, and gave him a gift.

---

Far away, in a tall tower, a man with a gleaming gold helmet shuddered as the ankh of light in front of him shattered.

He fell to the floor, the minor magic he used failing as the more complex spell fizzled and broke, leaving him painfully wheezing on the ground, clutching at his chest.

"N-no...T-this can not be...T-The order...it...it failed...it can not fail!" Dragging himself across the Tower of Orders floor, Dr. Fate forced himself over to a lone summoning circle, falling onto it with an exhausted groan, the Gaurdian of Order muttered a soft word, and the circle flared, and in an instant he was gone, leaving the Tower shaking it it's wake.

---

On the couch of the House of Magic, John Constantine was feeling as if the world had fucked him so hard in the ass he would never be able to walk straight ever again.

And with the pounding in his skull from a truly deadly hangover wasn't helping either.

Nor was the half dead Dr. Fate puking up his guts in his living room.

"Argh" which translated to "What the bloody fuck are you doing in my house you daft shiny headed prick" but John didn't really have the strength to say that.

"Blugh" was what the ever regal Dr. Fate responded with, which obviously meant "The border between realities have been broken, the Beyond Dark knows of our existence and has seen our world, they have come to either eat upon our existence and reality or defend agaisnt the others that seek to only fill their own unexistance."

John of course, carefully and gracefully pissed himself.

---

In Faccuet City, a young Billy Batson screamed as his head exploded with noise, the gods and heros alike were all suddenly the strongest they had ever been, their powers flooded and overwhelmed his mortal form, and to save his life, the Champion of Magic forced itself into being.

Even in the Champions form the sudden influx of godly might was almost too much, steam charged with lightning billowed off him in great plooms, sparks zapped from his finger tips to the ground, and the air stunk of ozone all around him.

The gods were ranting, each talking over each other, debating in so many dead languages Billy's mind could keep up the translations.

It wasn't until Solomons voice boomed over the others that the voices fell quiet. "ENOUGH! NOW IS NOT THE TIME OF IN FIGHTING, THE BEYOND IS AT OUR DOOR..."

Taking a breath even if he didn't need it, the ancient king looked all the years he had lived and then some, "Young William...oh dear precious boy...our dear son. A great advent has begun, a door which should never been opened has been thrown wide...the beasts you face, the abominations of teeth and tentacles are just the mites that have slipped under the door...waht is to come will make all that you have faced look like mice...we will not have enough time to prepare you with what is to come..."

Solomons voice broke at the end, and he hung his head in the mental image in Billy's head "Seek out others, join forces with any. All those in touch with the arcane shall know of what just happened...as Champion you will be the spear head, the general of them all...you will lead them agaisnt the Beyond."

---

It took a week for Danny to come back to himself again, at least a little bit, he still had a haunted look in his eyes, and was far to quiet. He barely spoke at all, but when he did it was in ramblings of things not understood by any of them.

His parents assumed it had been a ghost that left in this state, their hatred for the ectoplasmic beings growing more and more as their son, their boy grew worse.

Jazz, unlike her parents listened to what Danny described, studied what she could and figured out what she couldn't, at each dead en she pushed, with Tuckers help she gained access to computer systems that held secrets of the occult, and with Sam's freely given credit card? Oh she dived deep into spell, trying desperately to find any kind of cure for Danny's predicament.

As time went on the boy only got worse, he had begun seeing the beings in the Beyond, some whispered wisdom, of long lost ways to calm the millions of mutterings in his gray matter and the pounding of his heart, while others screamed, in jubilation and rage, as it is only in being seen did they become real, and becoming real meant they had a foot hold in existence.

The wise figures, while helping had also steered him to their own goals, some told him to hate the jabbering hordes, others said that the only way to truly to be rid of them was to be nothing as well, to go far past being a person, into being one with the Byond.

Some of the mutterings lead to more questions, they spoke of Gods long forgotten and recent, of their betrayals and what they did to fall, others claimed that they were not fallen, that they were there to protect him from those that were.

The more and more he listened the more and more he saw of them, until Danny began to not understand what was real and what wasnt.

So he didn't even flinch when a group of imposing figures were in his room when he came up to his bed, hoping that the voices of Parathax the Unbeliever would be quiet enough for him to sleep.

Oh he did scream quite a bit when the sad trench coat man with a multi fractured sould reached out and touched him.

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

I think Duke Thomas should get to give off eldritch horror vibes to all JL-associated magic users. As a treat.

[celestialgalaxyglow]

Batfam and Danny, Part 9

At the Justice League Watchtower.

Diana: Good morning everyone and thank you for coming to this pronto meeting. I known we all have busy schedules so I'll make this quick. Bruce, Clark, and I have been investigating an operation by Lex Luthor. He has been moving round large amounts of radioactive material to a secret lab in the Sahara Desert, we currently do not know what he is planning but last night the radioactivity around the base spiked. We believe that there was some leak of the radioactive materials and we need a plan to contain it.

J'ohn: Are there any civilians in the region?

Clark: No, the lab is far out into the desert. The closest town is a small village with a population of about 1000 people an hour and a half away.

Hal: I could but up a temporary shield around the lab and try to contain the radiation as much as possible.

Bruce: That would be a good start.

Arthur: This is concerning, how can I help?

Diana: There is another shipment currently on a Lexcorp boat heading towards a port in Algiers we need you to stop it.

Bruce: Oliver, you will help Arthur take control of the ship.

Oliver: Got it.

Diana: Barry, while we believe the town and its residents will be safe, we'd like to keep you on stand by just in case.

Barry: Yes ma'am!

Diana: That's all from us. Now that we are together we should start making a solid plan, we start this operation 10pm, local time in Algeria. That gives us 8 hours to prepare. Any questions?

Oliver: Just one question, who's Bruce's new kid?

Everyone turned to look at Danny.

Danny: Hi!

Bruce: This is Danny, alias Phantom, he's Jason's kid... and my grandson.

Barry (laughing): Congratulations Bruce, you're a thirty-four-year-old grandfather.

Arthur: Is he helping us with the operation?

Diana: Yes, Danny is half-ghost and immune to radiation, he'll be helpful if the radiation levels are higher than we expect.

J'onn: You have a quite mind young one.

Danny: If I let you read my thoughts there's a fifty-fifty chance your brain may get scrambled.

J'onn: I see...

Billy: I'm here! Sorry I'm late, just had to finish something before I could leave- Billy looked around the room till he saw Danny. He jumped back and covered his ears.

Clark: You ok there Billy?

Billy: Who is that kid?

Danny: I'm Bruce's grandson.

Billy: ...

Clark: Why?

J'ohn: The gods in Billy's mind all just screamed bloody murder and told him that under no circumstances, should he make Danny mad.

Everyone looked at Danny but before anyone could ask question Constantine walked in.

Constantine: You known if you're going to call a random meeting at least give us more than 3 hours to get ready- Constantine froze when he saw Danny. Shit...

Danny (grinning): Constantine!

Bruce: You two know each other?

Danny: Yes, he's the fool that sold his sold his soul to a hundred separate demons who are all now petition me to decide who actually owns his soul.

Constantine: ...

Hal: Why would they petition you?

Danny: I'm their king.

JL: What!?

Danny: And another thing Constantine, come over here. A green light encircled Constantine throwing him across the room, placing down in a chair next to Danny. You didn't pay your taxes for the last tax season.

Constantine: I- your majesty, I'm not a citizen of the Infinite Realms.

Danny: Actually you are! Danny summoned a scroll. According to section 8, subsection 45, clause B of the Infinite Realms Citizenship and Nationality Status Governing Deaths, Resurrections, and All Other Avoidances of Death Act, also known as the IRCNSGDRAOADA, due to your soul being more than 80% owned by citizens of the Infinite Realms, you too are a citizen of the Infinite Realms, and thus have to pay taxes.

Constantine: I-

Danny: You owe the Crown, aka me, $25,000.

Constantine (nervous): Would your majesty be so kind as to wave my taxes for this year, given I did not know I had to pay?

Danny: I'll give you... 120 days to come up with the money, if not I'll send the tax collectors after you.

Constantine (terrified): You- you're too kind your majesty. Constantine picked up a folder from the table. I'll just read the report... I- got to go. Constantine left the room.

Bruce (tired): Danny...

Danny: I was joking, I'll wave the his missing taxes.

Hal: Why is he so scared of tax collectors?

Danny: The tax collectors in the Infinite Realms are not just nerds with suitcases, they are nerds with suitcases that also carry paintball guns.

J'onn: Paintball guns?

Danny: The paint will never come off till you pay your taxes.

Berry: That sounds so fun!

Arthur: I'm happy to have another king on the team. Finally I have some to talk to about the duties of ruling.

Danny: Tell me about it, for some reason, people can't just do as their told.

Arthur (crying): You understand me my pain.

Clark: Where does your family find these children?

Bruce: We don't find them, they find us!

Diana: As fun as this whole conversation is we do need to prepare for the mission. Let's get to work.

JL: Yes ma'am!

(Master Post)

[moonlightcycle571]

It’s always ‘bad dad cap’ until the JL actually meet his ‘kids’. The JL then decide they would each take a kid to see if they can get some info. It goes as well as you expect

Diana, after taking Mary for a girls night out

Diana: Never again

JL: ???

CM: what did she do now

Diana: tried to take over Themesquira

CM: Mary!

Mary: IT WAS TO INCREASE EFFECIENCY

CM: WHAVE HAVE WE SAID ABOUT CAPITALISM

Mary: … not to enter its thrall

CM: because …

Mary: *sighs* you’ll end up bald like Sivanna

CM: Good.

Superman, coming in with Pedro

Clark: nope no nu uh nada

CM: what happened?

Clark: HE BROKE MY FORTRESS

CM: the for three of Solitude?

Clark: I just wanted him to show him how strong fortress was

CM: and he took it as a challenge?

Clark: HE TOOK IT AS A CHALLENGE

John Constantine, throwing Eugene at Cap:

Jonn: NO KIDS IN THE HOUSE OF MYSTERIES. EVER AGAIN.

Euegene: IT WAS TECHNOLOGICALLY DEFICIENT

John: NOT UP TO YOU TO CHANGE THAT

Flash, being dragged in by Freddy

Freddy: Oh hey guys 👋

CM: what you got there?

Freddy: He said running would do me some good.

CM: … okay fair

Hal, in the corner: unicorns are nice, unicorns are bad, unicorns are real, it’s aaaalllllll in my head

Darla: :3

CM: …

Darla: want some skittles?

CM: you’re all grounded

Shazamily: OH COMME ON

*ten minutes later*

JL watching the kids be buried in the ground - their heads. Suddenly they understand a bit more now.

[thecrowmonster]

dc characters as text posts (pt3)

[cakypa120]

Klarion: I feel bad.

Billy: Why?

Klarion: You're too good for me.

Billy: And I love you. Just the way you are.

Klarion:*blushes* Don't say such embarrassing things.

Billy: Ooh~*kisses Klarion on the cheek*

Klarion:*literally steaming from his ears*

John: Right in front of my salad?!?

Zatanna:*grimaces at the sweetness of the moment*

Doctor Fate:*whispers*For balance, for balance, for balance...

[wwprice1]

Stunning Dan Mora and Alejandro Sanchez art from Absolute Power 1!

[colossrat]

Captain Marvel can't be a member of the Justice League because he has a LOT of shit to deal with in his first years as the champion of magic after so many centuries without one.

So when Superman asks this new hero, who only appears in Fawcett or in world-ending situations, if he wants to join him, he's met with a big, polite "Oh, no thanks."

But Captain Marvel and the League keep bumping into each other.

Zatanna does a spell that the League requested, and Marvel just "POFF" appears and says something like "Guys, I can't let you do this. It's a scale 12 spell, it could cause a rupture in the fabric of this universe. Here, let me redo this for you, sorry, I just need to make sure, okay?"

And someone says "YOU CAN'T DO THAT" and the magic users explain that, yes, yes he can. he is the new champion of magic and he is in fact responsible for keeping magic in its rightful place, making sure it doesn't go ruining the interdimensional worlds or universes, and that this IS his role in magical society and no one in that room can really take away his authority in matters related to magic. They can try, but the chances of success are very low.

So Captain Marvel takes care of it.

Like, are they on a mission to retrieve a magical artifact? Marvel will show up, grab it, and leave because he needs to put it in the rock so it doesn't cause more trouble.

Are they dealing with a cult that's probably going to summon a demon or something? Marvel will probably be there to banish the demon, close the portal, and reprimand Constantine, because why not?

The magical villain that Marvel saw the League having trouble with? Well, just a little finger shock should do the trick to help them take the villain away.

Got a problem with a God? Marvel is there.

Are the portals opening? Captain is in charge.

Have goblins invaded Gotham? Are fairies loose in Metropolis? Are there talking snowmen in Central City? No problem, Captain Marvel is ur guy.

After a while, JL is dying to have him on their team. Or at least let him keep a communicator in case they need to call for help. Because, well, this guy IS super powerful, a HUGE nerd about magical things, and it's MUCH better to have him on their side than not.

But he always refuses, because taking care of all the problems related to magic and Fawcett's stuff is already too much, hes just like 8-9 years old, give him a break.

Yeah but of course one day, after a long day, Superman goes back to Fawcett to ask about it for the thousandth time, and he's so tired of this subject that he just waves his hand and says: "Okay, okay, give me a year to make magical society at least more stable so they can keep going without me present all the time, then I'll go with you, okay?"

And Superman is beaming with happiness, he agrees, leaves, and Billy goes to sleep that night dead of exhaustion on his little couch on the rock of eternity, wondering HOW he's going to make magical society stable after CENTURIES of instability. in. one. year.

That's future billy problem tho, not billy of the present. that being said, time for the champion's nap

[nerdybitch]

I find it personally hilarious that I hyperfocused on the 2 most polar opposite magic based DC characters I could find

John Constantine: 40+ year old old man and bastard who can and has gotten everyone he has ever loved killed, soul is like a 10 dollar bill that has been passed around by every bank in the country, and stepped on in the streets.

Billy Batson: 10 yr old little guy who's canonically so pure and gentle that Hell cannot corrupt him at all because he is CANONICALLY has such a pure fucking soul that he surpasses even Superman in pure-pureness.